#sarah manners

[forensicated]

Information for use in fan fiction and anything else related to The Bill. This will be added to and edited every so often and please feel free to comment if you want to add or edit anything.

Part 1

The Bill is set in the fictional Sun Hill which makes up part of the also fictional Borough Of Canley. It's roughly set around the areas of Whitechapel, Stepney, Shadwell, Spitalfields, Portoken, Limehouse and parts of Aldgate, Bishopsgate, Shoreditch and Mile End. It's also known as the Tower Hamlets area. Mike Dashwood once describes its location as 'Tower Bridge and turn right'. Maps of Sun Hill show the Isle Of Dogs area.

The station address is: Sun Hill Police Station, 2 Sun Hill Road, Canley, London, E1 4KM. The telephone number is 020 7511 1642.

In 1988 Sun Hill (not Canley as a whole, just Sun Hill) was described as being 6 miles long and 2 miles wide.

The caution: I am arresting you on suspicion of (OFFENCE: eg murder or sexual assault). You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say will be given in evidence.

This MUST be said, IN FULL, each time someone is arrested and officers MUST make sure that the person understands it ALL.

Vehicle Call Signs:

Area Car (Sierra 1, Sierra 1-2, Sierra 1-7, Sierra Oscar 21 and Sierra Oscar 22)

Van (Sierra 2)

CID Cars (Sierra Oscar 5 to 9) (Sierra-1-1 has lights/siren hidden like below but they have a magnetic light to stick on top like below)

TSG (Sierra Oscar 1-3)

IRV (Sierra Oscar 2-3)

Panda (Sierra Oscar 8-4, 8-5, 8-6, 8-7)

Officer call signs:

Sierra-Oscar 5-2 - Superintendents used this so it was the call sign for Brownlow (and Derek when he was acting Super), Chandler, Okaro, Prosser, Heaton and finally Jack Meadows.

Sierra-Oscar 5-4 was for Chief Inspectors so Derek, Cato and Stritch but the call sign and role was retired at Sun Hill after Derek was killed.

Sierra-Oscar 5-5 was the call sign for DCI's so this is Kim Reid, Frank Burnside and Jack Meadows.

Sierra-Oscar 7-5 was used for Frank Burnside when DI

Sierra-Oscar 3-3 was used for Roy Galloway when DI

Sierra-Oscar 7-0 was used for Neil Manson when DI.

Sierra-Oscar 7-1 was used for Sam Nixon when DI

Need to check on those for Johnson, Wray, Haines and Deakin if required but they can just use rank/surname as described below.

Sierra-Oscar 3-2 was used for DS Geoff Daly

Sierra-Oscar 6-7 was used for DS Don Beech

Sierra-Oscar 2-8 was used for DS John Boulton

Sierra-Oscar 3-6 was used for DC Will Fletcher

Sierra-Oscar 9-8 was used for DC Gary Best

Sierra-Oscar 4-2 was used for DC Grace Dasari.

Sierra-Oscar 3-0 was used for DC Mike Dashwood

Sierra-Oscar 223 was used for DC Rod Skase (in All Change)

Sierra-Oscar 613 was used for DC Duncan Lennox (In All Change)

CID would most often use their rank and surname.

Sierra Oscar 1 was used for all inspectors at the station from Deeping, Kite, Frazer, Monroe, Matt when he was acting Inspector, Gina, Smithy when he was acting inspector, Rachel and then finally Smithy when full inspector. (Smithy was 833 as PC and 54 as Sgt)

SO25 - Rachel Weston

SO30 - Callum Stone

SO33 - Craig Gilmore

SO46 - Jo Masters (after moving from CID to uniform)

SO48 - June Ackland (SO643 when a PC)

SO48 - Diane Noble for one night (she was supposed to return but the ITV cutbacks and the show moving to one episode a week meant her two-parter return was edited down to one episode and new scenes filmed to explain she was transferring to Barton St.)

SO54 - Smithy (833 as a PC and Sierra 1 as an Inspector)

SO54 - Jane Kendall and Tom Penny

SO55 - Ray Steele

SO61 - John Maitland

SO66 - Sheelagh Murphy (SO661 when demoted to PC)

SO79 - Matt Boyden

SO82 - Joseph Corrie

SO87 - Nikki Wright

SO92 - Bob Cryer

SO95 - Stuart Lamont

SO96 - Alec Peters

SO99 - Phil Hunter (during a short punishment stint in uniform)

SO101 - Taffy (Francis Edwards)

SO128 - Lewis Hardy

SO134 - Phil Young

SO139 - Timothy Able

SO140 - Nick Klein

SO148 - Mel Ryder and Yorkie (Tony Smith)

SO149 - Gary Best (Changes so SO 9-8 in CID)

SO158 - Honey Harman

SO171 - Reginald Percival Hollis

SO201 - Dave Litten

SO202 - Kerry Young

SO201 - Pete Muswell

SO212 - Millie Brown

SO217 - Laura Bryant (was SO7667 when a PCSO)

SO218 - George Garfield

SO227 - Viv Martella

SO235 - Roz Clarke

SO249 - Gemma Osbourne

SO251 - Jamila Blake

SO258 - Beth Green

SO275 - Roger Valentine

SO294 - Danesh Patel

SO298 - Yvonne Hemmingway

SO315 - Dan Casper

SO330 - Robin Frank and Ron Smollett

SO335 - Donna Harris

SO340 - Dave Quinnan

SO342 - Abe Lyttleton

SO351 - Malcolm Haynes

SO354 - Arun Ghir

SO355 - Cameron Tait

SO358 - Gary McCann

SO361 - Emma Keane and Vicky Hagen

SO362 - Luke Ashton (for his return post-2002)

SO363 - Steve Loxton, Lance Powell and Kirsty Knight

SO408 - Nick Slater

SO416 - Sam Harker, Ken Melvin and Gabriel Kent

SO432 - Luke Ashton (for his first 97-99 stint) and Des Taviner

SO437 - Leela Kapoor and Leon Taylor

SO452 - Adam Bostock

SO469 - Polly Page

SO483 - Diane Noble (was SO48 for her one-night stint as Sgt)

SO487 - Cathy Marshall and Rosie Fox

SO510 - Billy Rowan (though poor love lasted half a shift)

SO517 - Mike Jarvis

SO518 - Cass Rickman

SO543 - Will Fletcher

SO561 - Debbie Keane

SO570 - Cathy Bradford

SO577 - Barry Stringer

SO595 - Tony Stamp

SO600 - Jim Carver

SO643 - June Ackland (SO48 as Sgt)

SO659 - Suzanne Ford

SO661 - Sheelagh Murphy (SO66 as Sgt)

SO682 - Di Worrell

SO686 - Sally Armstrong

SO740 - Ben Hayward

SO743 - Pete Ramsey

SO759 - Steve Hunter

SO795 - Ben Gayle

SO800 - Richard Turnham

SO832 - Delia French and Claire Brind

SO833 - Smithy (SO54 as Sgt and Sierra 1 when Inspector)

SO876 - Nate Roberts

SO876 - Nick Shaw

SO888 - Amber Johannsen

SO943 - Andrea Dunbar

SO988 - Eddie Santini and Ruby Buxton

FED REPS: Federation Representatives support and advise officers if they've been accused of something or matters like pay, rights, allowances, conduct, equality and development etc. It's often mocked, mostly when Reg is in the position as everyone's favourite busy body, however it is a responsible position and Reg was very good at it if only due to his nitpicking and love of the rule book.

Fed reps: Reg Hollis, Barry Stringer, George Garfield, Nick Klein, Leela Kapoor

The Area Car can only be driven by the officers who are qualified to drive them for example: Roger Valentine, Tony Stamp, Kirsty Knight, Callum Stone, Ben Gayle, Gemma Osbourne, Yvonne Hemmingway, Matt Boyden, Vicky Hagen, Gina Gold, Steve Loxton, Mike Jarvis, Will Fletcher and Des Taviner.

Civillian Staff:

Jonathan Fox - Senior Crown Prosecutor and one time boyfriend of Gina Gold. He left Gina because she wouldn't commit right as she was about to commit to him. She tries to tell him this when he returns during her cancer fight but he's moved on with someone else... she can't handle just being friends so asks him to leave.

Matt Hinkley - Senior Crown Prosecutor

Eddie Olosunje - CSE

Lorna Hart - CSE

Audrey ?? - A CSE who checked Gabriel's clothes and is very friendly with Gina - they play poker together.

Dean McVerry - CAD

Marilyn Chambers - SRO - Reg was about to propose to her and was waiting for her where they had their first date when Colin Fairfax drove his van into the front of the station.

Julian 'JT' Tavell - SRO

Robbie Cryer - SRO (SRO's used to be Front Desk Officers)

DOPA Mia Perry (Press Officer) - Mickey's girlfriend who cheated on him with John Heaton

Margret Barnes - Cleaner who was obsessed with Ramani

Special Constable Terry Knowles (Killed on his first day trying to be like Des)

PCSO Colin Fairfax - Racist who drove a van into the front of the station, killing Ken, Marilyn and Andrea.

PCSO Laura Bryant - Became a full PC.

Marion Layland - Charles Brownlow's long suffering PA.

Rochelle Barrett - Drugs Referral Officer

Tom Kent - FME in the early 90's

Important Reoccurring Characters (Police):

Guy Mannion - Chief Super to Brownlow and then Borough Commander. Pain in the arse.

Trevor Hicks - DAC/Assistant Commissioner

Georgia Hobs - DAC

Roy Pearson - DAC. Neil Manson's father-in-law and user of rent boys. Murdered by one after attempting to retrieve a video that was being used to blackmail him.

Lisa Kennedy - Commander (Her son is involved in an altercation that leads to disaster at a football match)

Jane Fitzwilliam - Borough Commander

Louise Campbell - Borough Commander

Ian Barrett - Borough Commander - tried to blackmail PC Dan Casper into ending his affair with his wife, Rochelle. Ended up getting Dan held at gunpoint and left Sun Hill alongside his wife.

Amanda Prosser - acting Superintendent whilst Adam took time off following the death of his family in an RTA. Upset a bereaved father who then took her hostage at gunpoint and caused a siege at Sun Hill (second live episode)

Rowanne Morell - DI/DCI who came in to investigate a case and then came in as cover for Neil whilst he took some time off after his father-in-law's death/end of his marriage.

Andrew Ross - DCI if I remember rightly he was part of MIT and kept coming over for murders - the Serial Killer/Des's Firebombing/Cathy's murders etc.

Frank Keane - DCI from MIT. Rubbed everyone up the wrong way and thought the sun shone out of his daughter - Emma's - arse.

Karen Lacy - stuck up DI from SO15 who immediately alienated most of Sun Hill after Emma's death by refusing to let her friends in uniform help and would only let them man a cordon and then told Jack that CID could only help if EVERYTHING was run by her and came back to her and her alone.

Tom Baker - TREV which was a fan-coined term that stands for Totally Reliable Extra Veteran'. Tom was an outstanding backup CID member for over a thousand episodes. He's even in the Guinness Book Of World Records for it.

Terry Knowles - Terry was a Special Constable who idolized Des and wanted to be like him. He tried to copy how he'd seen him pick up a woman and flirt at a blonde in a convertible. Unfortunately, it all went wrong when she stabbed him in the neck and severed his jugular and he died, leaving a 2-year-old son fatherless.

Doug Wright - husband of Sgt Nikki Wright. Nikki transferred to Sun Hill when she got fed up with the confusion over two Sgt Wright's and then having to work opposing shifts. He's based at Sun Hill but they cross over to police a football match. Sadly Doug ends up getting stabbed and they realise there's a Cop Killer on the loose after he taunts them and goes on to murder new recruit Billy Rowan on his very first day.

Mark Rollin - Lance Powell's Boyfriend/Fiance/Civil Partner/Husband. Mark is a Sgt in CO19 and keeps his sexuality hidden to avoid the banter and bullying. He goes to pieces after shooting dead Jeff Clarke and he and Lance separate - only for Lance to go out drinking to try to cheer himself up. It ended with Lance being murdered by a gay serial killer pair.

Steve Hodges - an irritating little man who was the Detective Superintendent at CIB at the time that Claire Stanton was undercover trying to get information to prove that Don Beech was corrupt. He expected Claire to pull evidence out of her arse and moaned constantly.

Rachel Kitson - Crime Scene Photographer who murdered old school friend turned Super Model Cindy Statham. She got away with it and someone else was accused and locked up...but then Jo went back and looked at the footage again as she had a niggling feeling. Rachel realised she was on to her and took her hostage at gunpoint. It was Stuart getting suspicious when he received a text calling him 'hun' and realising that something was very wrong that saved her life with seconds to go.

Important Reoccurring Characters (Civilians):

Rod Jessop - June's second husband after Jim. He is a headteacher and a good man who has 2 children of his own. At first, June isn't too sure as she thinks he's a little too keen but she warms to him and they fall in love and take early retirement together.

Irene Radford - Mother of Karl, Wayne and David Radford, a large crime family with a history going back decades with Gina. She takes Gina hostage at one point and she and David are literally seconds from killing Smithy and Kerry at another point!

Louise Larson - Wife of Pete Larson. Unhappily married but settled until she met Smithy. Feisty, sarcastic and full of one-liners, she kept him on his toes and they wanted to leave after she agreed to give evidence (Pete was arrested after almost murdering Smithy. I'm sensing a theme here).

Abi Nixon - The cause of Sam shrieking "MY DAUGHTER!!!!!" Had a fling with Matt Boyden - as you do. Then ended up pregnant and engaged to Hugh Wallis - a profiler - who manipulated Abi into it as revenge. He forced Sam to think her daughter was a victim of the Serial Killer. She keeps the baby and her relationship with her mother improves.

Cindy Hunter - Phil Hunter's wife who sees all he does on the side and - usually forgives him, even when a major criminal demands he be allowed to sleep with Cindy. Gregory doesn't force her to sleep with him but does take degrading pictures of her to wind Phil up. She still forgives him... but she can't get past finding out he has a daughter with another major criminal's wife when they are trying for a baby of their own and they finally split.

Jenny Delaney - The girlfriend of George Garfield at first, Jenny is the nurse who looks after Dave Quinnan when he is attacked and left for dead in a youth club. She and Dave fall in love and have an affair which ends up in George leaving Sun Hill. They marry but do not get their happily ever after as Dave and Polly grow closer... and closer...

Kristen Shaw - Drug dealer who Zain goes undercover to catch and he ends up falling for her. She accidentally murders Honey by shooting her when the gun goes off in a struggle (Honey was trying to get Zain to do the right thing and arrest her with him). Zain reluctantly puts Honey's body in the water and they try to escape but in the end, he can't go through with it and refuses to get on the boat with her to escape. He removed the bullets from her gun and so both ended up arrested.

James Tennant - The father of Amy Tennant. This storyline goes on forever for over a year and Neil and James get close and become good friends through it before Amy is found.

Scott Burnett - Scott is the husband of a woman who is found murdered. At first his best friend is charged with it and as his FLO, Honey helps support him through it. They fall in love and in a whirlwind romance they get married.... only for Honey to realise that Scott actually murdered his first wife!

Laura Meadows - Jack's long-suffering wife of almost 30 years who put up with a lot, including affairs. It comes to a head when Jack - in full midlife crisis mode - thinks he's in love with Debbie McAllister and wants to support her and her new baby. Debbie thinks of him mostly as a father figure and is horrified when he finally puts the moves on.

Lilian Rickman - Cass' mum is devastated when her daughter is killed by the Sun Hill Serial Killer. She travels down and bonds with the team and later invites them to the funeral in Liverpool which some travel up to and then have to go straight on shift once they get back to London. She later returns to tie up the sale of Cass' flat and she and Tony grow closer and end up sleeping together.

Marie Graham/Carver - The bereaved mother whose daughter killed herself after being accused of sleeping with underage students. She's an alcoholic who seemed to understand Jim and all his problems... and then started to abuse him 2 days after their marriage. (he should have known it was a bad omen when he and June almost kissed the day of the wedding when trapped with Polly and Tony!)He is accused of abusing her before he ends up in the hospital (Gabriel hit him over the back of the head with a vodka bottle - long story) and he cracks under accusations and shows his many wounds. He leaves Marie and goes on to recover and get back together with June... only for Marie to turn up on THEIR wedding day and cause a scene at the reception and then fall down the stairs and knock herself out. Jim, with a sprained ankle, ends up going into hospital too!

Pauline Smith - Smithy's mum seen in Killer On The Run. His father was an abusive drunk who used to knock her and Smithy around until Smithy was old enough to go out with his friends. Smithy has little to do with his unnamed father and next to no contact. Pauline adores her son and is very proud of him. They are close and Smithy has a key to her house. He also had an unnamed little brother as a PC (mentioned in Soft Talking) but this seemed forgotten when he returned as a Sgt.

More family/love connections can be found here.

[zackprincebooks]

Father Ardelian: Wow, Lord Vane is so pleasant and gorgeo--I mean generous! I'm sure nothing untoward will happen to me while I'm at Whithern Hall.

Lord Vane, holding a ceremonial knife over a pagan sacrificial altar underground: what

Sarah, with her corkboard full of red string: Lord Rufus has been alive since the Wars of the Roses and the entire Rufus lineage has been swapping places over the past four hundred years to commit vampire fraud and I've been trapped into marriage with him for some sinister reason so if you find this letter I'm already dead

Lord Rufus, spending hours painstakingly painting a portrait of Sarah as a Renaissance saint: what

[kidneys-and-custard]

Do you ever just watch a show with David Tennant and see how he acts and think how David Tennant that is of him because he just acts like that

[pancakesanddiatribes]

in a manner of speaking

heyyyy there, i finally managed to finish this little piece that has been in my mind for a while. in my head, this is what happened to japril after they leave for interviews in 8x20. i really am enjoying writing this snippets so much; of course, life happens so I can't be as quick as i'd want to, but still i hope you enjoy it 🫶🏻

thank youuuuuuu

here a little preview for you 💗

"You know what? If they never send your suitcase back, I’ll contact the Foundation’s best lawyer and we’ll sue them for two million dollars. Maybe this is your chance to become a rich, handsome surgeon like me," he joked, and the sneering ha-ha she served him in return confirmed the mood had lightened at last.

in a manner of speaking

"This is already going badly. This is a sign from above; I'm telling you, Jackson" — he looked at her, half amused, half concerned — "I am telling you! I don't have my folders, thanks to Cristina, and now I don't even have my good suit, thanks to the stupid airline, or the flight attendant, or whatever incompetent baggage handler was supposed to look after my—"

"April! April, calm down! You're going to give yourself a heart attack. Actually, you're going to give ME a heart attack! Please, let's take a break for a moment."

He was a bit frustrated but not truly angry. Jackson knew well that she was the anxious type, so it only made sense that she would freak out when her suitcase was slightly delayed. We know it’s an inconvenience, ma’am, but we’ll send it to your hotel later tonight. You and your belongings will be reunited by 7 a.m. tomorrow at the latest, we promise.

Of course, that promise meant absolutely nothing to April, who had already contemplated the possibility of being interviewed in her underwear. What thought process had led her to consider that scenario even remotely plausible? Jackson had no idea.

"April, listen to me," he said, slowly stroking her shoulders. "There’s nothing more we can get from them. Let’s check in at the hotel and grab something to eat. We can order takeout or stop at a place nearby—either works for me. Your call."

"Takeout," she said, defeat in her voice, her big eyes slightly downturned. "I'm sorry for putting you through this, really. You've got your big interview tomorrow, too. It’s just... why do these things always happen to me? What if my suitcase never arrives?"

"You know what? If they never send your suitcase back, I’ll contact the Foundation’s best lawyer and we’ll sue them for two million dollars. Maybe this is your chance to become a rich, handsome surgeon like me," he joked, and the sneering ha-ha she served him in return confirmed the mood had lightened at last.

When they entered the hotel lobby, April was definitely calmer; still worried about her perfect interview suit being missing, of course, but now more focused on the food they were about to order in a few minutes.

"Good evening, Mr.—"

"Dr. Avery, and this is Dr. Kepner. We have two rooms booked for tonight."

"Yes, I see the bookings here," the receptionist said. "As requested, the rooms are on the same floor. In fact, they’re right next to each other." She added, after checking their IDs and handing them two keycards.

April chuckled as they walked toward the elevator.

"I bet you regret asking for the rooms to be on the same floor now. What if I go nuts in the middle of the night and come banging at your door, screaming for my suitcase?"

"In that case, I’ll double-lock myself in so I’m not assaulted by a crazy woman with no clean clothes."

"Oh my God, I don’t have any clean clothes! I don’t even have my night socks!" she exclaimed, her voice rising an octave—again.

"I don’t know about night socks, but I’ve got an extra pair of regular socks you can borrow. And also a pair of jogging shorts and a t-shirt, if you want. They’re not your size, for sure, but you just need them to sleep in, not to do a fashion show so..."

"Thank you, Jackson. I’m not really in a position to refuse any clean clothes. They’ll do their job fan-ta-sti-cal-ly."

Once they reached their floor, she entered Jackson’s room and waited for him to search through his suitcase. It didn’t take long though; he packed his stuff so neatly that April had to roll her eyes.

"Nice, there are plenty of takeout flyers here - she indicated the bedsite table - How do you feel about pizza?"

"Pizza will certainly do", he replied as he handed her the clothes.

She took them a bit too fiercefully and he laughed a little, "Perfect, you're calling then - I now have a date with the shower. The usual is fine for me, Jackson!", he heard her say while closing his bedroom's door.

"We can never be bored here", he muttered under his breath, and looked for the pizza flyer.

When he knocked on her door half an hour later, she was showered and dressed. Well, covered at least. His shorts looked a bit ridiculous on her, but she wasn’t really paying attention to her appearance. "Finally. Were you making the pizza from scratch?", her impatience evident. "Hey, you’re only dressed because of me and you’re only going to eat because I called for the pizza. I deserve some respect here."

He entered her room with the pizza in one hand and a bottle of red in the other. "Pizza and wine? Where did you get that?" "At the hotel bar. And shush, I don't want to hear any complaints: if you know how to select the right one, wine can go with everything. Come on, let’s eat, and grab the two glasses they put in the bathroom."

"Don’t put the pizza on the bed, Jackson!" she shouted from the bathroom. "Give me some credit, April, I’m not a caveman." "Aren’t you? All this time living with Alex should have taught you a thing or two." That remark made him laugh; she really couldn’t stand Alex’s lifestyle.

"How much do I owe you for all of this?" she asked, gesturing at the food. "Don’t worry about it; this delightful treat is on me. You’ve already had a stressful evening." "But—" "Hey, be quiet and eat your pizza."

He then changed the subject and asked if she was prepping for tomorrow’s interview, noticing the computer and notebook open on the bed behind them— they were both sitting next to each other on the carpet. "Yeah. Luckily, I had my computer bag with me. I would’ve gone full-on crazy if they’d delayed that as well." She did go full-on crazy earlier, but Jackson felt it was safer not to mention it. He poured the wine, and she made a toast.

"To my interview in your jogging shorts." "At least now you’re not doing it in your underwear." "They’d probably think this—" she gestured to her outfit, "is the worst walk of shame outfit ever." "I’m taking away the pizza now." He jokingly moved the pizza box away from her, so her pretend apology arrived while taking a big bite of a slice. "Oh no, no, I’m sorry. This Tuxedomoon t-shirt with these weirdly shaped geometric doodles is so fitting for a job interview. They’ll love it, for sure." "You’d be showing off your great knowledge with this t-shirt." "About? Some secret code only rich kids get? What is this Tuxedomoon, anyway? The name of your fancy frat house in college?" "Oh my God, you’re such a loser. Tuxedomoon is a very cool post-punk band from San Francisco. They’re amazing." "Post-punk?" The shockwas evident on her face; the mockery too. "Are you really telling me you’re a post-punk kind of guy, or were you just posing as the mysterious freakish gloomy kid to hit on the edgy, maverick chick?" "I don’t need disguises to hit on anyone, maverick or not," he remarked cockily, throwing a small cushion at her. "And Tuxedomoon is really cool. Here, let me show you. This one’s famous—I bet you know it." The excitement in Jackson’s voice made her roll her eyes again. Before the pizza arrived, April had still been stuck in her head, thinking about her lost suit and the interview and what they would think of her unwashed, flight-worn clothes. But now, she was feeling better; definitely more at ease. This wine works magic, she thought, while her friend jumped on the bed to find that obviously very famous song. He was dorky in his own way; super handsome and often unsurprisingly charming - she could not deny it - but he had his little funny quirks. At least I’m not the only weird one in this room.

When the music started, the rhythm seemed distantly familiar to her. She bobbed her head to the tune; it wasn’t bad, actually, until the singer opened his mouth. April couldn’t hide her grin. The man’s voice was too odd for her taste, and it ruined the otherwise beautiful song. "Jackson, how can you like his voice?" "Why? What’s wrong with it?" He sounded slightly offended. "It’s... I don’t know. It’s weird, like he’s singing with his throat inflamed or something. It makes me laugh a little. Sorry, you can't have your way with me! Your great post-punk band does not impress me, but —" "Whatever, your loss." He knew she didn’t mean it that way, but for half a second, the words I could have my way with you crossed his mind. Gross, Jackson. Unbelievably gross. She’s your friend—and a virgin. "BUT, if you please allow me to finish, I actually know the song. Well, I know a better version of it. One that would definitely impress the ladies more." She winked at him while grabbing the computer to play it, and he snorted because the gesture was silly, and because he sincerely doubted that her version could top his in any way. The music began again, this time with a gentler melody, soft guitar, and a low hum. April's shoulders started moving to the rhythm, and she felt the urge to sing a little, dance a little, do something a little. They both drifted into the singer's silky voice when April suddenly stood up, grinning, and belted out the chorus. They lived together, so Jackson had heard her sing before—sometimes in the shower, other times when she had her headphones on. She wasn’t professionally trained, but she had a pleasant voice. Still, this April was different. When she stood up, she forgot about the interview, about the delayed suitcase and, for an instant, she even forgot Jackson was there. It all faded into the background. It took only this instant of forgetfulness - convincing herself she was somehow alone - to make her body move freely. She was singing the chorus, gently touching her hair and neck with one hand, and gripping his oversized, ridicolous shorts she was wearing with the other. It was all very spontaneous; she wasn't paying attention to him, nor was she thinking about her movements - she was only doing. But Jackson was paying attention and, even more, he was thinking; he was thinking the unthinkable and the absurd. The word sultry came to his mind. The song had a sensuality to it, and April —well, okay, she's hot. She is. It's not like I want her to be hot, she just is. I'm a guy, I cannot not see it. I'm allowed to think that of a friend, it's called being honest.

Was he, really, allowed though? He felt it in his guts, for a second, but shoved it aside as soon as it arose. She's just having fun, Jackson told himself. There's nothing more to it. She's not flirting with you, she's not trying to seduce you. She's having fun. Let her have fun. And don't be weird. Then, she locked eyes with him, and that instant split in two: two separate moments, inestricably connected, occurring one after the other in an overly rapid succession. It was impossibly brief, but in that fleeting moment, Mark Sloan’s words echoed in her mind: I think I could take this one for the team; I think I can; I think I want to. She had never done anything like it before, but she knew she could seduce him. She would seduce him. She was seducing him already. His parted lips and half-closed eyes confirmed it. In that very moment, something happened in the pit of her stomach: a sudden emptiness and a curious warmth; and then, the warm sensation filled the emptiness. This - this isn't right, right? This doesn't happen, April. Don't make a fool of yourself. We're having a good time here, you don't get to ruin it with crazy thoughts. Have a good time. She blinked - the two moments made the one instant. While her eyes locked with Jackson's, that first moment made room for the second, and the whole instant passed, as quickly as it came. "See?" she smiled, snapping back to herself without almost not realizing it. "This version is so much better. Way more soothing. It’s a vibe." "Yeah, well, I didn’t know bossa nova made its way to Moline. I thought farm girls only went for country music and folk ballads." She snatched a slice of pizza from his hand and sat back down beside him. The amount of space between them had never felt really significant—until now. Now, somehow, they could not ignore its presence — or the lack of. "You know, you’re pretty narrow-minded for a big-city boy." "Let’s hope your interviewers tomorrow aren’t narrow-minded when they see you wearing my jogging shorts." She playfully slapped his arm, and they both laughed, sharing more pizza and red, pushing all their thoughts - including those about the next day’s interviews - away from their minds.

________________________________

if you are interested, these are the songs Jackson and April are listening to :

Jackson's preferred version

April's preferred version

[acourtofquestions]

“She had no magic to wield, save for the keen eyes of the goddess at her shoulder and an uncanny ability to remain unnoticed, to play into expectations.”

[kindahoping4forever]

my ultimate wish for this next era is they finally let Ryan go like they did Andy. I'm so sick of not getting the content we deserve. All the gatekeeping of tour diaries and now the crumbs of concert footage in that "documentary" yesterday. he was working for months on that? that's why we didn't get tour diaries? all that footage just goes in his vault now? Please.

Hello! I'm sorry to hear you felt disappointed by yesterday's special. However, I feel compelled to comment on a few objective points in your ask.

- "Live & Backstage in Amsterdam" was directed by James Tonkin, the same director (and production team, Hangman) they worked with on "The Feeling of Falling Upwards" (and the unreleased "Live in Brixton" special). Ryan was credited as director of the documentary footage and as a contributing editor (1 of 3) but the live footage and overall final program was not his work.

- Regardless of the particular creatives involved here (or in any given project for that matter), the fact remains that any directors, producers, photographers, etc are all hired hands operating with full input and specific direction from the band. The band chose to make this a hybrid concert film/documentary. The band chose to condense the setlist the way they did. The band chose this format over the traditional tour diaries. What happens to the unused footage will be determined by the band. Ryan is a friend but he is first and foremost an employee and the band owns that footage. (Likewise, the MYT diaries are not sitting on Andy Deluca's hard drive because he's "gatekeeping" or too lazy to edit it. If the band wanted them released, they'd be released.) All this to say, of course you don't have to agree with the decisions but it's important to clarify who your complaint is with.

- This concept of the band or their collaborators "gatekeeping" and fans not getting what we "deserve" is, to be blunt, entitled and immature. Being a fan does not make an artist indebted to you. They make music, if you feel so inclined, you listen. That's it. That's the extent of the contract. Anything beyond that is optional for both parties. Any content an artist chooses to release is not out of obligation or generosity, it's part business strategy, part artistic vision. Artists do not owe you anything. This band does not owe you anything.

[wam4321x]

[the-vampire-queer]

The Vampires Digital Media Poll: Round 2, Bracket 4

Please reblog for a bigger sample size.

Results get posted on December 20th. at 5PM CST.

<- Previous poll |

If you wish to learn more about your options, either as a refresher or an introduction, press the "Keep reading" button.

What is Dracula (1931) about?

Summary: "The dashing, mysterious Count Dracula (Bela Lugosi), after hypnotizing a British soldier, Renfield (Dwight Frye), into his mindless slave, travels to London and takes up residence in an old castle. Soon Dracula begins to wreak havoc, sucking the blood of young women and turning them into vampires. When he sets his sights on Mina (Helen Chandler), the daughter of a prominent doctor, vampire-hunter Van Helsing (Edward Van Sloan) is enlisted to put a stop to the count's never-ending bloodlust." Source: Rotten Tomatoes

Source: Dracula (1931)

Cast:

Bela Lugosi - Count Dracula

David Manners - Jonathan Harker

Helen Chandler - Mina Harker

Dwight Frye - Renfield

Edward Van Sloan - Van Helsing

Note: Cast lists provided here are not complete lists of people and characters featured in the media being listed. These are partial lists that include some of the main characters and their actors.

Additional information: Bela Lugosi's performance as Dracula is one of the most, if not most, famous adaptations.

What is Buffy the Vampire Slayer about?

Summary: "Sarah Michelle Gellar takes on the role of Buffy Summers in this TV version of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," based on the film of the same title, which starred Kristy Swanson. Buffy is a Slayer, one in a long line of young women chosen for a specific mission: to seek out and destroy vampires, demons and other forces of darkness. Unlike her predecessors, Buffy establishes a group of supportive friends who aids her in her battles with evil, including Willow, Xander and Cordelia. Her battles with evil are frequent, since Sunnydale, where Buffy and friends live, sits atop a gateway to the realm of the demons." Source: Rotten Tomatoes

Source: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Cast:

Sarah Michelle Gellar - Buffy Summers

Nicholas Brendon - Xander Harris

Alyson Hannigan - Willow Rosenberg

Anthony Head - Rupert Giles

Note: Cast lists provided here are not complete lists of people and characters featured in the media being listed. These are partial lists that include some of the main characters and their actors.

Additional information: Before the show, there was a movie of the same name that takes place before it. There is a spin-off series titled Angel based on a character from the show by the same name.

[tunemyart]

just binged my way through tiny beautiful things via the kathryn hahn imdb experience

wept

naturally checked to see if there is or ever was a season 2 in development, and very surprised to read that it was always a limited series?

[reedsolis]

So I just watched Knuckles the series and Wanda Whipple is literally Sarah Christ??

[forensicated]

Smithy: "You were like Lewis Hamilton going mental. [looks back to the other officers in the van behind them] I'm not even sure he should be driving now!" Callum: [shrug] "Who made the arrest?" Smithy: "Only because you drove like a lunatic. You were on the kerb, you were on the pavement…" Callum: "If you were fitter… like if you went to the gym you might have caught him." Ben: "Why don't you two just kiss and get it over with?" Callum: "I was in complete control at all times." Smithy: [winks back at the others] Yeah. Course he was.

~ Respect - Part 1

[mariocki]

Play for Today: Bavarian Night (BBC, 1981)

"These bloody middle class parents, ooh, they do get up my nose! You can work yourself blue in the face for them, go out of your way to accommodate them, but it's no use! They're just out to carve and criticise and try to make a fool out of you! Oh, I felt like - I'm ashamed to tell you what I felt like."

"Giving her a good hiding?"

"Yes, somebody should have done, I don't mind saying so! Oh, they make me sick! Always had their own way, always had the best of everything; she should have been brought up in our house, my dad would've had her sorted! I'm sorry, Estelle, this isn't like me, I know. Well, that's my evening spoilt for a start!"

"But what about the sausages?"

[the-engdyssey]

Day 4 OC-centric

Title: In Misery

This is a fanfic I don’t really have time to write, but I thought it would be interesting to share the idea with everyone and see what they think! I've tried to add as much detail as I can for this, and I hope you enjoy it!

Gif credits:  Tangerine: @peachyspaceslvt Elizabeth Olsen: @may0osh and @elizabethlailolsenfan

Tag List: @bullettrainpromptweek @phantom-wolf

Prompt filled: Mainly OC centric prompt, pre-canon, and butterfly effect prompts. It’s also an opportunity to flesh out some headcanons about Tangerine that have developed because of the course of this story. 

Pairing: Tangerine x Sarah (Female OC)

Warnings: Major character death, canon typical violence (there's a scene with a stabbing) 

Note: I have included gifs for some visual reference/inspo. My “face claim” for Sarah is Elizabeth Olsen which might be an odd choice to some people. But for context: I didn’t know that Aaron Taylor Johnson  and Elizabeth Olsen had played siblings in a Marvel movie before. I first saw them and really enjoyed their acting together in the 2014 Godzilla movie where they play husband and wife. I thought they were really cute together, and I was disappointed that they didn’t get more screen time with each other. I like their chemistry together, and I hope they act together again sometime. So, when my brain thought of a fic where Tangerine has a girl he’s in love with, I thought of her character looking like Elizabeth Olsen. That said, here’s a bullet point run down of my Tangerine and Sarah fic! (Partly under a cut due to length not necessarily content.)

Sarah meets Tangerine purely by coincidence. She is not involved in the world of assassins or the criminal underworld whatsoever. In some regards, it’s almost as if she “cleans up their mess”. She’s a young doctor for the NHS, and she works in A&E (the emergency room). She often deals with trauma patients, but she encounters just about any kind of sickness or injury in the emergency room of a hospital. She has a few friends lovingly drag her out to a pub one night to let off some steam, because she constantly works, and they fear she never has much fun. She meets Tangerine in that pub, and perhaps she’s a little tipsy, and he’s very handsome. Tangerine on his part clocks onto Sarah instantly. He can’t help himself—she’s exactly the kind of girl he likes. She’s sweet, a little shy at his open flirting but incredibly receptive, the cocktails have her a bit tongue tied (but it's also her nerves at talking to him), but she’s well spoken and intelligent. She’s pretty and cute. He likes her smile, he likes her laugh, and he simply has to have her. Which is fine with Sarah, because he’s the kind of guy she dreams of but thinks she’ll never have because he’s too good looking. There’s instant sparks, instant chemistry, and they wind up sleeping together that first night. And it’s incredible for both of them. Tangerine is an attentive lover in her opinion. He checks before he does anything, but he knows how to navigate his way around a woman’s body. Sarah feels safe with him, which means a great deal to her because she's never slept with anyone she just met, she always waits. She feels confident and sexy with him, and it’s a reminder of how it’s supposed to feel to be with someone. But surprisingly for the both of them, there’s an innate intimacy to being together which neither of them was expecting. There’s a care and a passion for each other that catches them both off guard, but it’s not entirely unwelcome. Despite thinking it’s a bad idea, Sarah slips her card into Tangerine’s shirt pocket and says he can call her anytime before she heads home that night. She assumes he won’t. But he does the next day wanting to take her out on a real date. He promises that he'll be just fine with giving her a kiss goodbye if she wants to take things slower. He really likes Sarah, he wants her, and he’s all in. It doesn’t take long for him to make her feel the same. 

Personally I love the duality of Tangerine dating a doctor, someone who spends their life trying to ease the suffering of others or preserve life, when Tangerine is primed to do the exact opposite. He doesn’t mind hurting or killing other people, the only thing stopping him is an increased likelihood of getting caught. Sarah is an inherently good person who tries to navigate her life according to the edict of “do no harm”. Tangerine most certainly doesn’t. Sarah doesn’t know what Tangerine does for money as their romance blossoms, but her kindness and compassion is what draws Tangerine in further. She is everything he’s never had in his life; true romantic love, friendship, loyalty, compassion, care, tenderness, support. He’s not looking for a woman to take care of him, but part of her loving him is doing exactly that, while he takes care of her. (Being a doting and consistently caring boyfriend is part of his love language, but it’s also him knowingly struggling with his abandonment issues having grown up in the foster care system. He feels like he has to prove to his lovers why they shouldn’t leave him, prove himself worthy of them, but Sarah silently and patiently reassures him that she’s not going anywhere.)

Tangerine is honest with Sarah about a great many things, honest to the point that Lemon thinks he’s an absolute idiot. He tells Sarah his real first name which is Tom. (Yes, I imagine his name is actually Thomas, and everyone who actually knows his name calls him Tom for short. Because Aaron Taylor Johnson was in a movie called ‘Tom & Thomas’ when he was little and because Bullet Train likes to make references to actors' previous roles in other films, this is the hill I’m dying on. Especially because it makes his annoyance with Lemon’s Thomas the Tank Engine obsession all the more infuriating as adults, and because Sarah can harass him by calling him her ‘Tom Cat’, and it makes him cringe so bad his stomach hurts while she’s crying with laughter. To which he inevitably runs after her fully intent on tickling her until she can’t breathe as revenge.) He makes up a last name for him and Lemon to go by, but he also tells her his actual birth date, he tells her honest stories about when he was younger and the people who mattered to him in the past. He even opens up about some of his worst experiences in school and foster care. He tells her the truth of who he is as a person, something that no one really knows except Lemon. Everyone else who does has left him behind in one way or another. He does not tell her anything about his real work, he hides that incredibly well from her. But he actually feels like this girl could be in his life long term, something that he never thought would actually come about, and not lying to her feels important to him even if there are certain key details that he leaves out. 

If I could summarize this story in a single sentence it would be this: No matter how deeply and truly Tangerine loves Sarah, he is nothing but an absolute poison in her life. Because Sarah is inherently good, and Tangerine is someone who is morally gray at best. He is the very antithesis of what she is, what is important to her, despite the fact that he matters to her dearly. Despite cherishing and wanting to protect her gentle and kind nature in a world that easily makes people become jaded, he is an incredibly selfish and manipulative man. He wants Sarah in his life because he loves her. That's the simplest and honest truth. But he also explains to Lemon that having a doctor as a wife would come in handy for the both of them. No more shitty patch up jobs themselves, or hoping that established organizations will take pity on them and let them utilize their resources for a fee, they’d have a trained medical professional to help them out. (And I’m not entirely sure of the legalities of it in the UK, but sometimes spouses can’t testify against each other in court, and if that’s the case, that's an added bonus). So, Tangerine asks Sarah to marry him. Because he loves her, and if Lemon asks him about it, she’s useful. And Sarah, none the wiser and utterly adoring him, says yes. 

But a relationship with a man like Tangerine is not sustainable. The violence that he so desperately tries to keep under control around her exposes itself more and more over the course of their relationship. Getting in the face of someone here. Shoving someone or nearly getting into a fight there. It’s subtle at first, to the point where Sarah doesn’t question it. He's had a past where picking fights was a way of coping and oddly enough, protecting himself. He's always been protective of her as well, but it's become more intense. It’s something she notices, but she misses it for what it really is. She’s never had any reason to believe that Tangerine is a truly violent man. Until she finally sees it for herself one day. She sees the man she’s going to marry kill another (for a quick local contract). It’s not an accident, it’s not a mistake. It’s something bloody and brutal, something she was never supposed to see. Something that brings her whole world shattering down around her.

Tangerine knows that Sarah knows. He realizes too late that she saw what happened, and he rushes over to her flat to try and talk to her when he can't catch her on foot. He’s a tad arrogant enough to think that it’ll take some time and effort, but he should be able to soothe this one over. He thinks Sarah is probably shocked and scared, but he can calm her down, surely. Tangerine underestimates the effect this has on Sarah. He underestimates the Pandora’s Box seeing such an act of violence opens within her. She’s got a head start on Tangerine. She’s able to get to her flat and barricade the door before he gets there. She’s panicking and rightfully begins to question everything. As she begins to look through Tangerine’s belongings that he’s brought over to her flat (he's essentially been living with her for some time), she realizes just how deep the lies run. Fake passports and driver's licenses, numerous burner phones, foreign cash, dozens of weapons all hidden carefully in various pockets of his duffel bags in the bottom of the closet. All things lingering in her space, her life, right under her nose, and she never had a clue. She realizes the man she loves is an illusion. The man she loves is in fact a total stranger, someone violent, a killer, and seemingly a professional no less. Tangerine isn’t stupid enough to leave copies of the contracts or mission briefs around, but she doesn’t need them to understand how dangerous Tangerine is. He’s a murderer, and she’s a witness. So Sarah does the only thing she can think of: she runs. 

It is because Sarah still loves Tangerine, despite knowing that everything he’s ever told her or shown her could very well be a lie, that she runs and instead of contacting the police. She’s scared, but more than that her heart is broken. She doesn’t realize that what Tangerine always showed her was his real self, but the darker, more violent side of himself is his real self as well. While wrestling with the realization that the man she wanted to have a future and a family with wasn’t real, she also begins to question and berate herself. How could she be so stupid? How did she not have any inkling of what he was? What kind of woman loves a man like that? Is she not as bad as he is? He makes a wave of guilt wash over her for loving a man who causes the very harm to others she tries to fix in her profession. Her phone has been buzzing non-stop since Tangerine came back to the flat to find it empty and his things rifled through. Sarah is in a taxi on the way to the airport to catch the first flight out of the UK. She answers though she can’t even see the screen with the tears swimming in her eyes. She should yell at him, curse at him, do anything but already miss him terribly. She can’t. Before Tangerine can even say anything, she simply says, “I’ll never say anything to anybody. I still love you, Tom. I'll always still love you, but I can't stay. Take care of yourself.” She pulls the SIM card out of her phone and chucks it from the taxi cab. Her plan is to head back home, her actual home. Her dad is English, but he met Sarah’s mother and settled down with her in Canada. Sarah has dual citizenship, and the only thing she can think of or wants to do is go home in her time of greatest need. 

Sarah makes a prudent decision by running away from Tangerine, but the problem is she’s not good at running away. Why would she be? That’s not a skill set most people learn. And while Tangerine and Lemon are not as skilled or “professional” as they are by the time they step on that bullet train, they have no trouble figuring out how to track Sarah down. Between budding connections to other operatives with handlers or “independent contractors”, and the fact that Tangerine enabled things like ‘find my phone’ on Sarah’s electronics without her knowing, it doesn’t take long for them to find her. Lemon has had about enough of all of this. He’s met Sarah, he actually likes her very much, he appreciates that she listens to him talk about his interests, he's grateful that she loves his brother like she does, but according to him, “I’m the one thinking with my brain. Unlike you. I don’t know what you’re thinking with, mate, but it’s gonna get us both in trouble.” Tangerine either needs to win Sarah back or he needs to take care of her, because leaving a witness behind is bad for business. Tangerine understands the situation they’re in, but he also refuses the idea of doing anything to Sarah. He can frame it in the context of wanting to preserve her usefulness, but it’s because he loves her. It’s as simple as that. And Lemon isn't stupid, he knows that.

Sarah leaving causes Tangerine’s emotions to go all over the place. He’s stressed because of the implications to his and Lemon’s safety and freedom. He’s a little angry, but more than anything he's hurt that she left. She promised him she never would. And though logically he understands why, it still feels like a rejection of some sort. And he misses her. Her leaving reminds him of all the other times he's been left behind. That same feeling of being a scared little boy who will never see those he cares about again settles in his chest. He hates it, but it shows him how not having Sarah in his life just isn’t an option. It’s a rather warped and selfish way of loving her at this point. When he finds Sarah the first time, he doesn’t confront her right away. In fact, he spends a great deal of time simply observing her from afar as she tries to navigate a life without him. He sees her parents and wishes he could have met them and tried to impress them properly. He sees her settle into new work. He watches her interactions with those around her. He sees the smile on her lips doesn’t reach her eyes anymore, he feels sick that it’s his fault. He sees Sarah safe and helping people as her true calling encourages her to do, and for some time, he considers leaving her be. Trusting her word and letting her have a life without him. But then he sees that she’s still wearing the engagement ring he bought her (and he did buy it, it felt wrong to steal it, he has a sense of pride that he actually bought it in an honest transaction for her), and the choice is made for him. When she’s out, he sneaks into the flat she’s renting. And he sees that she still has room for him in her life. She’s wearing the ring he gave her. There’s space in the closet for his suits to hang up. The double sink in the bathroom has everything sequestered to one side. He can tell she's only sleeping on one side of the bed. He likes to hope she is waiting for him and will be glad to see him. 

She was, and she’s not. She’s been waiting with baited breath for Tangerine to come find her, terrified that he’ll kill her if he does. She hasn’t stayed with her parents because she doesn’t want them to get hurt. When he’s there in her flat when she comes home, she immediately tries to run, but Tangerine is faster and stronger than her. He overpowers her, but he doesn’t hurt her. He tells her to be quiet, but his voice is gentle and loving as always, his warmth is reassuring, the strength in his hands and arms is familiar and comforting. When she goes limp in his arms, crying and defeated, he thinks he might be able to finally reach her. She asks what he plans to do, and he says he wants to take her home. He wants things to be like they were. He loves her, he would never hurt her, and he’s never lied to her. But he continues to lie by omission, never really answering the questions she demands of him about what she saw, what he does, who he is. She asks him if he loves her, and he says yes. She asks why she should believe him, how can she possibly know he’s not lying. He kisses her because he doesn't have the words, and she knows. She knows deep down that maybe he does really love her, but that doesn’t change anything. But she lets him love her for that night. She makes love to him again and again, telling him that she’s missed him, she still loves him, that there’s no one else for her but him. She means every word she says, they're a declaration of love and a confession. But they're also a goodbye. When he wakes up in the morning, she’s not there. She’s not even in the same province anymore. Tangerine is simultaneously furious and amazed that she managed to slip away from him again. He steals something small from her apartment, a little trinket that reminds him of her, and heads out to find her again. 

Every time Sarah runs away, she gets a little better at it. A part of Tangerine is proud of her, but he’s also getting sick of this game. Especially when other men start showing their interest as soon as she's settled down somewhere. Sarah rebuffs them every time. She doesn't want anyone else, her heart still belongs to Tangerine. She also knows full well that if Tangerine caught her with another man, that other man won’t survive the interaction. And after her father has sent a private detective to look into this man he sees as harassing his daughter, Sarah realizes that she might not survive him either. She learns more about Tangerine than she ever wanted to. She knows about the murders he’s been suspected in, she’s seen his previous arrests, mug shots, learns about his dealings with the fringes of organized crime, and it's enough to knock the wind out of her. She knew it was bad, but she never dreamed it was this bad. The private detective, a retired cop, looks at Sarah and asks her, “Honey, how’s a girl like you gotten involved with a man like that?” She takes the silver chain holding her engagement ring off from around her neck and places it on the table. “I said I would marry him.” The private detective just sighs and closes his eyes despairingly, but he’s a decent man and wants to help. “That’s okay. We have places that can help. There are damn good women’s shelters around here, we can protect you—“ “I think you’d better go.” “I’m sorry?” Sarah just looks at him as she places the necklace around her neck once more, resigned to the fact that it’s too late for her. The only thing she can do is try to make sure no one else gets hurt. And this man being here is putting his own life in danger. He leaves very reluctantly, but he can’t force Sarah to do anything. And he promises that if he doesn’t hear from Sarah within a certain time frame, he'll give a letter to her parents telling them that she loves them. After that, she cuts off contact with everyone she cares about, and goes as off-grid as possible. She has to get serious about hiding and running now. 

Tangerine can still find her. He finds her a total of three times. She manages to slip away two. Each time he tells her that he loves her, he’ll never hurt her, he wants her back. Upon discovering that she knows everything, he assures her that he’s never truly lied about anything. But he’ll tell her everything from now on. He won’t keep anything from her if she wants to know, but he won’t say anything she doesn't want to hear. She knows everything now, she sees him in his entirety, will she please come home with him again. And Sarah does see the real him. She sees the man that utterly adores her, and the monster that makes her question her own morality. She’s never taken kindly to people accusing doctors of playing God, and she doesn’t think it right for him to play God with other people’s lives. She doesn’t like the pseudo moral righteousness of Tangerine more often than not killing those involved with organized crime, men who often sell, beat, rape, and murder women and children. He kills men who are scum, and thus his actions could be framed as some sort of service unto humanity. But she doesn’t enjoy the notion of justifying murder– for do those same men not have wives and children who will mourn their loss? It's not her right to place a value on another life or to end it, her calling is to ease the suffering of others. She still questions herself, berates herself for still loving him like she does though she's helpless to stop it. She’s still trying to fight the inevitable, but it’s a losing battle. The fear is waning every time he comes to her, the longing for him is ever growing, the relief at seeing him is near overwhelming. It’s getting harder to leave every time. So when he finds her at a train station that final time, both of them have reached the end of their rope. Tangerine catches up to her but keeps his distance lest he spook her. He's out of breath from running, his three piece suit a disaster in his rush to get there before she slips away once more. And he finally tells her, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry for all of this! I never wanted this for you. Please, love, I want you with me… But I…I understand if that’s not what you want. I love you, but if you step onto that train, I promise you’ll never see me again.” He means it, and he’s willing to keep his word. For the first time, he is willing and able to love Sarah unselfishly, and in turn Sarah is finally willing to be selfish. “Do you still love me, Tom? Really love me. Not because you want me to keep quiet. You really did before, didn't you?” Tangerine can’t help but snap a bit because, “Of course I fucking do! I never stopped! Bloody hell, woman, why do you think I’m here chasing after you?! Why do you think I asked you to marry me?! Sarah, I love you!” She can’t help but smile even if the tears are running down her cheeks. Tangerine prepares himself for his heart to leave with her on that train, only for the girl he loves to run and jump into his arms. The cold air of the train speeding past washes over them as does the relief and elation of finally coming together. He kisses her slowly, adoringly, and asks again if she’ll be his wife. She says yes. He tells her to be a good girl and put her ring back on then. She laughs and waggles her ring finger in front of him, showing that she’d been wearing it the whole time. 

Sarah and Tangerine begin to settle back into their life together in London, though it takes time for Sarah to put the pieces of the life she left behind back together again. There was always open communication between them before, but this time it's easier with no secrets. Sarah can establish the boundary that if Tangerine is going to continue with his work, she'll never help him and Lemon with a job. She'll never be a part in harming someone else. But she will always patch them up when they come home, and he better not get himself killed or he'll have her to answer to. She's got a cute little stern frown on her face and her hands on her hips as she tells him this, and Tangerine just melts. He agrees, because he doesn't want Sarah involved in his world. She's too good for that. But taking care of others, especially those she loves? That's just who she is. Yet a man like Tangerine in Sarah's life is a poison, regardless of how much he tries to protect her. Lemon and Tangerine tend to not see the long term consequences of the various jobs they take. To them, each job is an isolated incident. They feel as outside contractors, they retain the right to bounce from contract to contract without any sort of comeuppance from the various crime syndicates they interact with. Things don't work that way. The Twins work in the fringes of organized crime, but mob bosses do not take kindly to losing their underlings at the behest of another mob. Tangerine and Lemon can take contracts from the Italian/Russian mobs and the Yakuza all they want, but they really are foolish to think there won't be consequences. Especially when they have people in their lives they care about. So when Tangerine and Lemon take a contract to get rid of some Russian mob members for other organized crime bosses, they set off a sequence of events that seals all their fates.

After Tangerine and Lemon kill a group of Russian mobsters in London, the mob’s first instinct is to kill them. Until the local Russian boss (naturally someone who falls under the umbrella of the White Death's control) realizes they're talking about The Twins. This guy likes The Twins, they've done good work for him in the past. It's a shame that they accepted a contract against the Russians. Instead of killing them and losing their future value completely, the boss decides to remind the Twins why loyalty to a good paycheck should never be broken. To not bite the hand that feeds them. The order is given to hurt the people close to them as a reminder to behave themselves. (Can't have Tangerine and Lemon badly beaten, then they'll be useless for any upcoming jobs.) After a couple of the Russian mobsters have been tailing the Twins for a while, the only person they see with them consistently is Sarah. And considering the one with the mustache is the one who seems to be in charge of accepting contracts and she's his girl, all the better. 

Sarah never saw it coming, and Tangerine wasn't there when it happened. Sarah has just finished her shift at the hospital and is just about to pop into one of the shops, before heading to where Tangerine and Lemon plan to pick her up. Sarah walks along a little side street, a short cut to the closest convenience store. A route she has traversed dozens of times without incident. A sudden large hand on her shoulder forces her to turn around, two hulking men with tattoos before her. Before she can pull away and run, before she can fight back, or yell for help, one of the Russians has a knife buried in her belly. The shock of the injury leaves her dazed at first before the knife is pulled out, warm blood following in its wake. She's stabbed again, the agonizing pain that suddenly hits her would make her scream. Instead, it steals her breath as does the force of the blade being driven into her. Five stabs in total, four in her abdomen and one in her chest. Sarah collapses after she staggers away a few steps. The other man roots through her purse taking her ID as she struggles to breathe, struggles to speak past the searing pain with every movement. Her scrubs are soaked in her own blood, and she focuses on not passing out. She hears the two men speak in Russian, doesn't know why her mind latches onto that detail. She tries to look at their faces, but it's a fog, and she knows it's because her blood pressure is dropping. She also knows the signs of various organs and blood vessels sustaining damage during a stabbing. She knows that her injuries aren't good. But she just has to wait for them to leave, wait until they assume she'll be dead soon, and then she can properly put pressure on the wound, call an ambulance, call Tangerine– her phone smacks onto the pavement before a heavy boot crashes down onto it. A heavily accented voice tells her, “Tell him he should have known better. Tell him to be on his best behavior. We know where you live.” Sarah nods weakly and finds herself alone. If not for her injuries, she'd question whether or not those men had even been there at all, or were they just phantoms from the shadows? She yells for help as best she can. She tries to get her phone to work to no avail. She tries to get up but realizes that sensation in the lower half of her body isn't as good as it should be. She can't rise to her feet, and she doesn't have the strength to drag herself along the pavement. Her breathing sounds suspiciously wet. The only warmth she can feel is her own blood. She puts pressure on the wounds with what little strength she can muster, forcing herself to stay awake. It's a losing battle. She's slowly dying. 

Despite Lemon’s rebukes of needing to trust Sarah more, that she's just running late, she hasn't run off again, Tangerine can feel something is wrong in his gut. As Lemon is chastising his brother, Tangerine pulls up the tracking app that he's once again put on Sarah's phone. The one she still doesn't know about. Lemon is about to tell Tangerine off further when the look on his face makes him pause. He glances at the phone. The little dot signifying Sarah's phone is stationary. Lemon assumes it's because she's in a shop, while Tangerine feels his heart drop into his stomach. She's stationary in an empty side street at night. Tangerine can't help himself from rushing out of the car to where Sarah is according to his phone. He keeps calling her, and she doesn't pick up. A visceral fear takes hold of him, worse than the turmoil he felt the mornings he would take up to discover Sarah had run away from him again. He gives up using the phone to call her and yells out for her instead. It's a flash of teal, the color of her scrubs, in his peripheral vision that allows him to find her in the dark and quiet of the side street. He's on his knees beside her in a second, and his heart is pouring out over the pavement along with her blood. He doesn't even recognize the tears in his eyes as he dials 999 and tenderly takes Sarah in his arms. He gently encourages her to wake up, holding her close to give her his warmth, her blood soaking into his clothes. She's pale and clammy, she's groggy and her eyes are a little unfocused, but she's alive. She's looking at him and saying his name, and therefore she's as beautiful as she's always been. His lips are all over her face and though Sarah can't return the affections, she's appreciative of the warmth. He asks Sarah to tell him what to do to help her while they wait for the ambulance. Instead, she tells him about the men who attacked her. All the fragmented details she vaguely recalls and the warning they had left her with. Sarah asks Tangerine to be careful, and the fact that the woman he loves is dying in his arms but her kind heart is more worried about his safety, breaks him. She's never seen him cry. Very few people have. But he holds her close and weeps in worry and regret, kisses her lips to cease the gentle reassurances falling from her lips. “It's supposed to be me telling you it's okay, not the other way around.” “Tom, tell me everything is going to be okay.” “Everything is going to be fine, love. You're going to be fine.” And he makes a silent promise that he'll kill them for this, but saying it out loud will make her worry. “Love you. Always have. You know that right? Love you so much Tommy.” “I know. I love you too. So much that I won't get mad at you calling me Tommy.” It makes her smile but barely. His voice is barely above a whisper as he continues, “I've never loved anyone like I love you. You're my dream girl, you know. I've…I've wished for you my entire life. Please don't leave me yet. Stay awake for me Sarah.” Her eyes fall closed, her breathing shallow. Lemon comes to his side as the sirens draw closer. Tangerine’s desperate pleas for Sarah to wake up go unanswered. 

Lemon has to help the EMTS to get Tangerine to let her go so they can get Sarah in the ambulance, and he drives them both to the hospital. He sits with Tangerine the entire time as they wait for updates of Sarah's condition, squeezing his brother's shoulder or neck in reassurance. Tangerine lets him do it more than once, a sign of how distraught Tangerine is. Lemon apologizes to the nurses at reception when Tangerine snaps at them if they refuse to give him any information for privacy reasons. Lemon helps ease the burden of the brief encounter with the police asking initial questions about the incident. But they won't know more until Sarah is out of surgery. Lemon urges Tangerine to clean himself up in the bathroom, because Sarah will hate to see him look like such a mess. Lemon is also right beside Tangerine as one of Sarah's closest friends at the hospital comes out to speak to them. The look on her face says everything before the words tumble from her lips. Lemon is there as his brother's heart shatters before his eyes. Sarah died during emergency surgery due to the severity of her injuries. Lemon takes hold of him as a grief so profound overtakes Tangerine that he nearly sinks to the ground. The last of Tangerine's strength is the only thing keeping a scream erupting from his throat and sobs wracking his frame. Tangerine never liked to cry, not even when they were kids. Lemon never had that problem, and he still doesn't. His eyes shine with tears for this brother and the girl who he looked forward to having as a sister in law. His friend. Lemon pulls Tangerine to a quiet place and says nothing as his brother falls apart. It's the first and last time Lemon has ever seen Tangerine mourn anyone in their lives like this. And he realizes with the greatest despair, that Sarah was the first and last woman that Tangerine had ever or would ever truly love. 

Tangerine is never the same after he loses Sarah. His hurt morphs into anger, a wrath against others that reaches new levels. Tangerine was not Sarah's husband legally. He was not her next of kin. He had no say in where she would be buried. He was certainly not welcome at her funeral. Regardless, he lingers in her Canadian home town to visit her grave, leaving flowers every time, often as he can before he leaves again. He and Lemon have another job coming up. Lemon thinks it's a bad idea. Tangerine has to work otherwise his grief will swallow him whole. It's wet work. And a part of him realizes that Sarah would be disappointed to know it's work that demands he takes the lives of others. But the ember of compassion Sarah fostered within him left along with her. The next job the Twins take is the Bolivia job. Tangerine accepted it because the group down there supposedly had connections with the Russians. The Bolivia job was an absolute blood bath due to his rage born from grief. A showcasing of his wrath. There was no compassion. No humanity. The rumors spread about The Twins begin to refer to them as “insane” and “psychopaths”. Tangerine likes that. The Bolivia job made him start to feel better, though it can never begin to fill the empty space inside his soul. The only regrets Tangerine has about the Bolivia job is how unprepared Lemon seemed to be for it. And that his newfound reputation as a psychopath was not given to him in time to save Sarah. He often thinks that if they all knew what he was really capable of, then maybe they would have thought differently about touching what was his. Maybe Sarah would still be alive. 

The butterfly effect of Sarah's death leads to Tangerine being how he is by the time he and Lemon step on the bullet train to Kyoto. His anger lingers. He snaps at Lemon much more than he used to, but Lemon doesn't really take it to heart. He knows when to push back and when not too. Tangerine’s fuse is a lot shorter than it used to be. He's polite for the most part, but cold with others. He's always attracted the attention of women, and even a few men, but his overall demeanor shows that he is completely unavailable. Tangerine can't even begin to think about being with someone else. But Lemon also knows that Tangerine's heart has not gone cold, it's broken. Where Lemon forgot the innocent civilian they caused the death of, Tangerine remembers. Mainly because he thinks of how upset Sarah would be over it. What little conscience he has left is the small piece of Sarah that lives on inside him. But at the same time, he can be derisive towards the pain of others. He's remarkably callous when talking about the fatal accident of the White Death's wife. Tangerine understands that pain, to him Sarah was his wife, but he doesn't feel sorry for the White Death. To Tangerine, he's part of the Russian mob, so there's a sense of vindication. A sense of ‘it sucks to lose her, doesn't it?’ But the irony is, Tangerine couldn't possibly know how full circle things have come. The Russians took Sarah away from him, he played a part in the chain of events that lead to the White Death's wife dying, and by stepping on that train, he's signed his own death warrant. Tangerine also holds no sympathy for the White Death not having left his compound because Tangerine has a thought process of ‘Well I got over it and got back to work. And you have kids. You've no excuse to hide yourself away.’ It's a thought process that holds the bitterness and anger of grief and a distinct lack of self awareness. Sarah's death is also why Tangerine frets over Lemon like he does. He wasn't there for Sarah. So when Tangerine finds Lemon knocked out in the silent car, he assumes the worst. It causes the seed of anxiety to bloom in his gut. By the time Tangerine gets kicked off the train and has to punch his way back in, his fear of it happening again has run away with him. He knows Lemon can take care of himself, but Lemon is the only person Tangerine has left. Tangerine's worst fears are realized when he finds Lemon in the bathroom. Lemon has been shot, and Tangerine wasn't there. He wasn't there again. He failed those he loves again. He's lost a loved one again. He's all alone. And something inside him snaps, the last link in the chain of events leading to the end of his life. 

Lemon has Tangerine cremated after his body is recovered from the crash site. He thinks about keeping the urn so he doesn't have to let his brother go. He thinks about spreading his ashes in numerous special places in England. They never talked about what to do if one of them died. Talking about it made it seem too real, but Lemon thinks that's silly now. He just wants to do what his brother would have liked, and the only thing he can think of is to let Tangerine finally be with Sarah. To let them both rest. Lemon goes to Canada, goes to Sarah's small town and sees it with different eyes than when he accompanied Tangerine with the intention of getting Sarah back. It feels like a lifetime ago. He almost breaks down at the realization that for Sarah and Tangerine it truly was a lifetime ago. He goes to the cemetery in the evening with a shovel, intent on burying the urn with Tangerine's ashes on Sarah's plot. An unmarked grave, but not alone. Lemon is interrupted by Sarah's mother. He hurriedly explains that he knew Sarah. That they were friends. Recites details about her that make her mother's face melt from confusion and horror to a bereaved smile as Lemon says a silly little phrase that Sarah used to say all the time. Someone else who really knew her daughter, bore witness to the wonderful person she was, gives her an odd comfort despite the bizarre circumstances. She nods at the urn, “Who's that?” “His name was Tom. He was in love with Sarah. He wanted to be her husband.” “Is he the Tom she was running from?” Lemon can't look at her as he nods and says, “Yes, Ma'am. But he loved her. He really really loved her, and he never hurt her. I promise you that.” “I know. I could tell by the way she talked about him. She was just as crazy about him. Even when she was scared of him, she adored him.” Lemon can't speak due to the tears, and Sarah's mom comes closer. “Were you going to leave him here with her?” He nods. “Yeah, but…I'm sorry, I'll go–” “Don't go,” she gently reaches out to touch Lemon's arm. Loss is a universal language, the companionship and understanding of another going through it a precious commodity. “I don't mind if you let him stay with her. I'd like that. I think they would have too.” Lemon is amazed at how kind she is, how giving and forgiving. But he realizes Sarah must have gotten it from somewhere. He can see Sarah in her mom, and as she helps Lemon dig a small hole to nestle Tangerine's urn into, he thinks about how he would have enjoyed getting to know her family. Would have loved the idea of him and Tangerine having a family with Sarah and her relatives. When they're done, and before he can awkwardly shuffle off, Sarah's mother asks if he'll come have dinner with her and her husband. A friend of Sarah's is always welcome in their home. Though she also asks that this be their secret for now, Sarah's father isn't ready to forgive Tangerine. And she also asks that Lemon keep the fact that Tangerine was his brother a secret for now once she finds out. Sarah's father isn't ready yet, but in time he will be. For now, it's important for those that loved them to be together. Because for Tangerine and Sarah to be remembered by the ones that love them is the surest reminder that they existed. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! I hope you liked it! I swear I do love Tangerine and I do love Sarah despite the ungodly levels of angst. They are together forever at the end, and Lemon and Sarah's family have each other from that point on. In the spirit of Bullet Train, something good always comes out of something bad. 

[frostcorpsclub]

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Ngl felt so much offense on behalf of Sarah Jane and her kids when a Doctor Who video on spin offs called them 'galactic cops'.

[the-bisexual-and-damned]

sarah snook as shiv does this thing, i’ve sometimes noticed, where when she she’ll lower the pitch of her voice and/or the volume in which she speaks

sometimes it’s for emphasis and then other times it’s her being snarky

maybe i’ve lost my mind from watching this show (and not sleeping at all shhh) but it seems like her version of trying to intimidate or patronize someone

it feels like maybe she was trying to replicate this? from logan? from the other men she’s constantly been surrounded by in this fucking environment and has probably been threatened and diminished by them and is does this to feign an air of calm and collected and like she has it together???