#sarah is bored and everyone has to deal with it on their dash

[the-last-kenobi]

sometimes I think that Star Wars fans are so inured to the rise-and-fall arc of Anakin Skywalker->Darth Vader that we forget exactly what that means.

it seems inevitable to us because we all - mostly - saw it coming because of the order of release. and TCW makes no bones about showing Anakin’s unsteady descent into reckless selfishness, even while he’s still absolutely planted in the role of hero, of Jedi.

but just. for a second. put all that aside. the narrative, the characters, the foreshadowing.

and think about your best friend.

your lifelong companion, your spouse, the friend since childhood, the person you connected with last year and just know you’ll never let go of. a parent or parental figure.

whoever it is you trust the most and want to spend the most time with.

you know this person. you know their likes and dislikes. their mannerisms. when they like to sleep and wake, what they like to eat, how they laugh, who else they’re comfortable around, their favorite clothing style, how their voice sounds when they’re frustrated or tired or a little silly.

and you know them, and you love them.

you are aware of their flaws.

you trust them to not become only their flaws. why would they? who would do that? people are so much more than their best and their worst. you trust them.

of course you do. after all, you know them, understand them, love them. you might not get each other all the time, or even get along as much as you’d like, but you know each other. you’ve got one another’s backs.

it is this person you think of most often. the one you think of when someone invites you and a plus-one, the one you worry about when there’s bad weather, the person you want to share a joke with first. they’re annoying and complicated and you know them. (life has been tough on you and them. life is tough on everyone. things are hard, and you stick as close as you can to this person, and it helps so much.)

and then one day, you come back home after a very long but surprisingly positive day at work and find out that this person has sold your house out from under you, killed your dog, murdered your entire family, slaughtered your neighborhood, including all the kids you’ve grown up around for years and waved at as you drove by, maybe even stopped to say hello or return a toy that rolled away, and then somehow managed to pin all these crimes… on you.

you have lost everything. everything.

and when you chase your friend down and demand answers out of them, plead and argue and ask and cry, all they can say is that it’s all your fault. and that if you can’t be with them on this, that you were never with them in the first place.

your best friend has just destroyed lives, destroyed your life, murdered people, and continues to victim-blame while attempting to hack you to pieces.

it’s incomprehensible.

you must be having a nightmare.

but you’re not.

you’re still loving this person who is more caricature than person, and even as they’re trying to kill you and you’re trying to process the overwhelming losses, you still love them. and hate them, too. except - you still love them.

this is when you begin to cry.

and this is the story of everyone who loved Anakin.

It’s the story of Obi-Wan, and Padmé, and Ahsoka, and Rex, and even just other Jedi and Clones that knew and trusted him, existing in his periphery and by his side, trusting him even while knowing his flaws. everyone has flaws. everyone has dark, selfish, wild desires. nobody expects their friends to give into them.

picture your best friend again. now picture them doing all of this to you.

and tell me you don’t want to destroy something. or hurl yourself off a cliff.

tell me you’re strong enough to live in the wastelands for twenty years contemplating your mistakes and wishing your friend was still your friend.

lie to me.

tell me you’re brave enough to be anyone who loved Anakin Skywalker.

[hushyouu]

It’s 4 AM and I’m emotional so I’m making this post

Thank you to everyone who’s been there for me or has interacted with me here on Tumblr. When I joined Tumblr I had not expected to meet the people that I now call friends, honestly I can’t put into words how much everyone has helped me.

in particular here are a few that I’d like to give mention to, perhaps we aren’t as close as we used to be or talk as much as we used to. But know I still care about you despite all that

Thank you to Curse for being my first friend here. Thank you for staying up till ungodly hours of the night with me and talking, I’ll never get bored of our conversations and random ideas.

Thank you to Lane who’s heard me complain about a million things and listened to those complaints willingly and supported me even when I had others against me. Thank you as well for staying in vc with me for 12+ hours even if I cant recall everything that happened I know I had a lot of fun.

Thank you to Hikaru who puts a smile on my face every time I to talk to them. You’re always so kind even when you’re not feeling your best. Thank you for dealing with me and being one of my online partners <3

Thank you to Almond who puts up with me staring down at them during RPs. You’re hilarious and I love you even if you’re still struggling to take these compliments I hope one day you can look back at these and accept them.

Thank you to Mika who has barked at me, for me, and with me. You’re always so fun to be around no matter the situation and I love talking to you. The chickens as well.

Thank you to Dango who sits with vcs with us for hours even if he knows that they’re gonna eventually fall asleep and be moved into a separate call.

Thank you to Jia who always tries to spread positivity and general happiness even at her worst. Thank you for taking the time to check up on people.

Thank you to Sarah who had comforted me at my worst. Thank you for being there during some of my worst moments to talk things out with me and help me. You were always so kind yet not afraid to say what you thought.

Thank you to Ez who is always a joy to talk to. I do see your little reactions on messages and I think they’re great. You’re always so funny on the dash and I hope things are going well for you.

Thank you to Quill who has always been so kind. Thank you for listening to me talk and being there to talk with me when I was doing awful, thank you for checking up on me when I wasn���t doing alright.

Of course, this isn’t even a list of everyone who’s helped me, but it is a list of a few memories and people who stick out to me at the moment I am writing this. Thank you to all my mutuals for being here, including but not limited to

rana, vannah, rie, tura, curse (yes there’s two), lette, koi, li, sin, lyz, rebi, lili, may, blue, boo, pauline, abbie, veille, rei, jayee, atlas, j, spookii, genesis, sam, mori, mo, keo, thalia, mocha, cal, karma, loqua, sunny, jing, and roc

[chuffyfan87]

Hiding. Part 71a

Cowritten with @disastrousintention.

-x-

Ever since Emily enrolled in that art and crafts workshop during the holidays, Charlie and Duffy had begun to see a different side to their eldest daughter. Whilst she was still very shy and quiet, she seemed to become a little louder and found herself fighting for the spotlight with her sisters. Her confidence had also grown, the more time she spent doing the thing she loved most. The classes on a Saturday were the best thing ever and Emily’s new found confidence was beautiful to see.

It was the May half term and the family was preparing to attend the first exhibition that Emily was taking part in.

She was so excited, she was giddy. She kept bouncing around the place.

All the kids were ready and running around downstairs but Duffy was still in their bedroom.

“Babe. Are you ready?” Charlie called up the stairs.

"No." Came her frustrated sounding reply.

He came upstairs, “What’s wrong?” He asked.

"The skirt I was planning to wear won't zip up." She sighed.

“Can I try and help?”

"You can give it a go but I'm not optimistic."

Charlie helped her with the zip to her skirt. He'd almost got it done up when she let out a squeal. “What’s wrong?” He asked, concerned he’d pinched her or something.

"Its too tight." She complained.

“Sorry.” He paused, “Is there anything else you can wear?”

She shrugged. She sighed as she walked over to their wardrobe and began flicking through the clothes in there.

“Do you have any dresses you could wear?”

"How about this one?" She held up a navy coloured dress.

“Ooh I like that dress.”

She let out a sigh as she unzipped the skirt, letting it drop to the floor. She then pulled off her tshirt and slipped the dress over her head. She then turned around. "What do you think? Will I do?" She chewed at her bottom lip.

“You’re beautiful.” He smiled, “You look beautiful.”

"Not fat?"

“No darling, not fat.” It really didn’t make her look fat. Enhanced her curves but didn’t make her look fat.

"You're sure?" She asked, running her hands over the fabric.

“Look in the mirror, gorgeous.”

She moved to stand in front of the mirror.

“You look gorgeous.” He reassured.

She smiled softly as she rubbed her hand on her stomach. "We're going to have to tell them soon aren't we?"

“I don’t think we can hide it for much longer, babe.”

"I think you're right. I swear Jake is already giving me funny looks."

“In what way?”

“Daddy! Mummy!” It was Emily who was stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"Like he wants to say something but he's been told not to upset me." She replied, giving Charlie a suspicious look as she headed towards the stairs. "Just coming princess."

“I haven’t been saying anything.” A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

She stopped at the top of the stairs and turned back towards him, her arms crossed. "Charlie..." Her tone was suspiciously.

“What?”

"Have you said something?"

“No.” He smiled.

"I'm not sure I believe you..."

“How about we tell the children later?”

"Who knows?" She gasped.

“Who knows about what?”

"Me being..." She stopped abruptly as she spotted Emily standing at the bottom of the stairs. She unfolded her arms and nervously smoothed out her dress as she made her way downstairs.

He followed her. “We’ll talk later?”

“Mama we be late.” Emily replied with a pout.

"OK." She sighed. "We're just coming. Has everyone got their shoes?"

“Yep.”

"Except you mum." Jake pointed out.

Duffy rolled her eyes. "I'm just getting mine."

“Are we all ready?” Charlie asked.

"Yes."

Luckily they arrived at the gallery with a few minutes to spare.

"So where is your work princess?" Duffy asked her eldest daughter.

Emily practically dragged her mum to her piece of art.

"Oh it's amazing!" Duffy smiled.

It was full of bright colours. It was a landscape picture of some buildings and the drawings looked like they’d been done by someone a lot older than she was. “You did this, princess?” Charlie asked Emily.

"Yeh. Took ages!" She replied dramatically.

Duffy couldn't help but giggle at how similar Emily sounded to Tilly when she spoke like that.

She was certainly starting to tell Tilly and Lottie who was boss. Charlie chuckled, thinking exactly the same as Duffy and tapped Emily’s nose. “Well, aren’t you a very clever girl.”

"There's some other small bits but that's the main one." Emily smiled.

"What's that?" Lottie asked pointing at some figures.

“Those people? They’re us!” Emily replied.

"Really?" Tilly broke in. "Which one's me?"

"Urgh, art is boring." Louis complained.

“This one.” Emily replied and pointed to one of the figures.

“Louis!” Charlie said.

"That's so cool, it looks like me! Can I keep it?" Tilly babbled excitedly.

"Is that one me?" Lottie asked, pointing the the figure next to the one of Tilly.

“It is.” Emily nodded, “And this is mama, daddy, Louis, Peter and Jake and the tiny blob is Oli.”

"These are really good Emily." Duffy smiled, squeezing her daughter's shoulder.

"I'm gunna make some more figures of the family soon." Emily replied cryptically.

“Why more figures Princess?” Charlie asked.

"I haven't finished making everyone. I need to make gran and Sarah and..." Her voice trailed off awkwardly.

Charlie picked her up and carried Emily over away from everyone. “And who else?” He stroked her cheek.

"Where are daddy and Emmy going?" Tilly asked.

"I'm not sure." Duffy replied nervously.

"Its a secret." Emily whispered, looking over at her mum.

“Emily, what’ve you heard?” He asked, meeting his daughters gaze.

"You and mama were talking earlier..."

“What did you hear?”

"Mama said she was fat. I haven't told the others I promise!" Emily replied, obviously agitated.

The twins had lost interest in their sister, their attention grabbed by a painting of a cat. "We should get a cat! Can we have a cat?"

“Hey, Hey.” Charlie reassured and kissed Emily's forehead. “It’s ok. It’s ok.” He reassured.

“A cat? Why would you want a cat?” Duffy asked the twins.

"Or a dog?" Lottie mused.

"No! Cats are better!" Tilly retorted.

They continued to argue amongst themselves as Duffy came over to Charlie and Emily. "Everything OK?"

Louis was sat bored in the corner. Peter and Jake were chatting to Sarah who had just arrived.

“We’re ok, aren’t we Emily?” He smiled at his daughter. He kissed her nose and forehead again.

"Yeh. Fine." Emily replied, painting on the fake smile so reminiscent of her mother. "Can I go look at my friends' paintings?"

Charlie put her down on the floor, “Of course you can. Will you show mummy and daddy too?”

"Yeh." Emily smiled as she wandered back to the exhibits.

Duffy placed her hand on Charlie's shoulder to stall him from following. "What did she say?" She asked.

“She knows you're pregnant.” He whispered.

"What? How?"

“She says she heard us talking but it’s a secret.” He smiled sadly, “We should tell them tonight.”

"I'm not sure I'm ready to tell them. I know that sounds silly."

“But we cant keep pretending it’s not happening either.”

"We could try." She shrugged.

“They’re already going to feel... sad... that we didn’t tell them straight away. Never mind, if we keep lying to them.”

"Its not lying to them as such..." Duffy mumbled weakly. "I was hoping to wait another couple of months before telling them."

“How far are we know?” He asked. “Three months-ish?”

"Fourteen weeks." She sighed.

“We do need to tell them soon. So we can deal with their thoughts and feelings over having a new sibling.”

"I can tell you what their thoughts will be. They'll be angry and upset." She sighed. "I guess it was a pipe dream thinking that we could keep it a secret til after I hit twenty weeks."

“Yes they will be angry and upset. They’ll also be terrified.”

"Yeh. I'm not sure I can face their anger."

“Me either. But we have to at some point.”

"And tonight's the night?"

He nodded. “Yes.”

"OK. It'll be interesting to see if the twins still want a pet after they find out." She chuckled darkly.

“Probably.” He smiled sadly.

Duffy shook her head laughing as she wandered off to look at some more of the exhibits.

The twins continued to dash about between the pictures, captivated by the bright colours. Jake tried his best to cheer Louis up who had a face like a smacked arse. Peter was trying to pay attention to what Sarah was saying but his gaze kept drifting to his mum. Something was going on, he could tell!

“You keep watching your mum? What’s the matter?” Sarah asked.

"I'm not sure. Does she seem different to you?"

Sarah shrugged, “A bit. Why?”

"In what way? Be honest."

“Happier, curvier.” Sarah shrugged, “Why?” She touched Peter’s arm, “Are you worried about her?”

"Yeh, something just doesn't feel right. Dad was very quick to take Emily away. Like she knew something she shouldn't."

“Oh my God Peter, what if your mum’s pregnant?” Sarah whispered.

"What?! Oh you have got to be kidding me!" His voice was louder than he'd intended, attracting the attention of those around him.

“Ssh, Peter!”

Duffy swallowed nervously at the look her eldest son was giving her.

“Peter?” Sarah said quietly as she moved him away from the groups.

"This cannot be happening again! Seriously! What are they playing at?!"

[maddie-grove]

Bi-Monthly Reading Round-Up (July/August)

PLAYLIST

"Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson (The Wonder)

“The Lusty Month of May” from Camelot (Between a Highlander and a Hard Place)

“Blood on My Name” by The Brothers Bright (Vampires in the Lemon Grove)

“Too Good at Goodbyes” by Sam Smith (A Prince on Paper)

“All I See Is You” by Dusty Springfield (The End of Everything)

“Your Song” by Elton John (Patience and Sarah)

“Reach Out and Touch (Somebody’s Hand)” by Diana Ross (Touchy Subjects)

“When You’re Young and in Love” by the Marvelettes (Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda)

“No Sleep Tonight” by the Faders (Can’t Escape Love)

“Take Me in Your Arms (Rock Me a Little While)” by Kim Weston (Bury Me Deep)

“Cold Bread” by Johnny Flynn (Fludd)

“Thunder Road” by Bruce Springsteen (The Rest of the Story)

“How Can I Meet Her?” by the Everly Brothers (Someone to Honor)

“A Matter of Trust” by Billy Joel (The Scandalous Secret of Abigail MacGregor)

BEST OF THE BI-MONTH

The Wonder by Emma Donoghue (2016): Lib Wright, an English nurse who worked with Florence Nightingale in the Crimean War, is hired to observe Anna O’Donnell, an eleven-year-old Irish girl who claims to have not eaten for four months. Initially exasperated at the everyone’s credulity, Lib gradually realizes that there’s a lot more going on with Anna, her family, and her village than she thought...and that the girl may be in serious danger if she doesn’t intervene. Despite my love of Donoghue’s work, I put off reading this one for a while because the subject looked so grim. Although Donoghue does deal with difficult material, the growing relationship between prickly Lib and bright-but-haunted Anna makes the novel transcendent.

WORST OF THE BI-MONTH

Between a Highlander and Hard Place by Mary Wine (2018): After her highborn suitor shows his true colors, Athena Trappes sets fire to his house in self-defense and flees to Scotland. There she attracts the attention of Symon, Laird Grant, a melancholy widower. This Elizabethan romance has its moments, notably a lovely meet-cute at a May Day celebration, but it’s mostly dull with some irritating tropes.

REST OF THE BI-MONTH

Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (2013): In this collection, Russell tells the stories of various oddities, including women who turn into silkworms, presidents who are reincarnated as horses, and, yes, vampires in the lemon grove. The collection is remarkably consistent, and Russell shows enormous range in it. My favorites are the utterly chilling prairie horror of “Proving Up,” the hilariously absurd “The Barn at the End of the Term,” and the heartbreaking “The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis.”

A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole (2019): Nya Jerami has existed under a cloud of suspicion and gossip since her abusive father, an adviser to the king of Thesolo, was sent to prison for poisoning his political rivals. Eager to start her life properly but unsure how, Nya finds unexpected help from Johan van Braustein, the seemingly devil-may-care stepson of the king of a European micronation. This is my favorite contemporary romance I’ve ever read, with two dynamic, endearing protagonists and a strong sense of setting. Cole expertly blends realistic modern-day concerns with frothy wish fulfillment (plus a dash of fairy-tale Gothic).

The End of Everything by Megan Abbott (2011): When her best friend Evie disappears, thirteen-year-old Lizzie only has scanty clues regarding where or why. As she becomes more and more consumed with finding the answer, she discovers dark secrets underlying her seemingly placid 1980′s suburb. Of all the Abbott novels I’ve read, this is the simplest and perhaps the most disturbing. I didn’t love it, but it’s very effective.

Patience and Sarah by Isabel Miller (1969): In 1810′s Connecticut, educated “spinster” Patience White finds herself intrigued by sweet, rough-hewn Sarah Dowling. Although their families contrive to keep them apart, they eventually make it to New York and start a farm together. Of the five f/f romance novels I’ve read, this is my very favorite. Miller captures the feel of early American literature very well, and the romance has a nice balance of tension and sweetness.

Touchy Subjects by Emma Donoghue (2006): This collection of short stories is, naturally enough, organized around “touchy subjects” like babies, domesticity, strangers, desire, and death. There are some jewels in this collection: the sad/funny “WritOr” (about a struggling author who takes on a resident-writer position at a rural college), the bittersweet “The Welcome” (about a naive young lesbian with a crush on a reserved trans woman), and the strangely uplifting “Enchantment” (about a rivalry between Cajun fishermen). There’s a lot of chaff to separate from the wheat, though; many of the stories are very slight.

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli (2015): Simon Spier, an upper-middle-class teen in suburban Atlanta, isn’t 100% sure why he hasn’t come out as gay to his liberal family or friends, but for now he prefers to keep his sexuality (and a flirtatious email correspondence with an anonymous boy called Blue) under wraps. When a classmate finds out the truth and blackmails Simon into setting him up with his friend Abby, that task becomes a lot more complicated. Despite the rather disturbing premise, this is a super-cute YA novel that I would have loved when I was a YA. (At twenty-eight, I still liked it a lot; it’s just got a sense of immediacy that was a little lost on me thanks to my relatively advanced age, but would’ve been very appealing to me at sixteen.) 

Can’t Escape Love by Alyssa Cole (2019): Regina Hobbs, highly successful proprietor of a website about nerdy stuff, has it all together, except she’s suffering from a wicked case of insomnia. She’s convinced that only the voice of Gustave Nguyen, a puzzle designer she got to know after tuning into his livestream, can get her to sleep, so she contacts him to see if she can have a recording of his voice. Even though they both think it’s kind of weird, her request gets them talking...and MORE. This is a short but absolutely delightful novella about two neat people hooking up. The stakes are low, but the tensions stemming from Regina’s family keeps things interesting.

Bury Me Deep by Megan Abbott (2009): In the depths of the Great Depression, Marion Seeley finds herself alone in Phoenix while her morphine-addict husband chases redemption in Mexico. Working an administrative job at a local hospital, she falls in with party-girl nurse Louise, her TB-afflicted girlfriend Ginny, and (much to her sorrow) corrupt, handsome Joe Lanigan. Abbott’s historical crime novel takes a little while to heat up, but once it does it’s a very satisfying thriller. However, I was never convinced of Joe’s attractiveness even at a surface level, which was kind of an impediment to enjoying the story because Marion sure is.

Fludd by Hilary Mantel (1989): A mysterious stranger comes to a deeply Catholic, determinedly miserable English village in the 1950′s, claiming to be the new curate. While there, he greatly affects the lives of an alcoholic priest, his prim housekeeper, an unhappy young nun, and a pompous bishop. This is a highly peculiar, often enjoyable fable, although it drags quite a bit in the third quarter.

The Rest of the Story by Sarah Dessen (2019): Emma, an anxious seventeen-year-old who lost her mom to addiction five years ago, ends up spending part of the summer with her seldom-seen maternal relatives, who own a downscale motel in a lake town. While there, she learns about her mother’s secret history, observes the tensions between her family’s working-class community and the upscale resort people across the lake, has a low-key romance with a childhood friend, and practices her driving. This novel isn’t among Sarah Dessen’s best--the ending is a little rushed, and the romance feels perfunctory--but the setting is cool and Emma is an interesting protagonist.

Someone to Honor by Mary Balogh (2019): Years after her dad’s bigamy was revealed, resulting in her de-legitimization, reserved Abigail Westcott shows no interest in trying to re-enter society, instead opting to hang out with her convalescing Napoleonic War veteran brother. Unfortunately, his surly friend, Lieutenant Gilbert Bennington, is also intent on keeping her brother company to avoid his own problems, and he and Abigail don’t exactly get along. They come to understand each other, though, and decide to take a chance on marriage when Gilbert finds himself in trouble. I found this Regency romance to be solid but overly somber (not an infrequent issue with Balogh). I never got a great sense of who Abigail was and, while I sympathized with Gil, I also found him very irritating at times.

The Scandalous Secret of Abigail MacGregor by Paula Quinn (2015): In the late 1700′s, Queen Anne summons Davina MacGregor, secret eldest daughter of James II (and, were she not Catholic, rightful ruler of Great Britain), to court. Because Davina is sickly, her daughter Abigail, who has ambitions of being clan chieftain, goes to court in her place. She’s accompanied by Captain General Daniel Marlow, a Jacobite-hating English soldier and close friend of Anne’s. He’s got some trust issues and a stalker. This romance had a lot of potential, but too much of it is spent on the road and not enough on juicy court drama. The straight-version-of-Rachel-Weisz’s-character-in-The-Favorite villain was also, unfortunately, usurped by her much more boring lover.

[the-last-kenobi]

is it just my friend group or does every friend group elect a favorite parent/parent couple out of everyone’s parents and it’s their house you all crash at and it’s their food you all eat and it’s definitely them that’s getting the inevitable ‘we have done something Very Stupid’ call at 2am

[the-last-kenobi]

I am a grown ass adult and I can handle my own problems

except spiders

those fuckers are still winning

[the-last-kenobi]

if you haven’t listed to A Jedi’s Fury (original soundtrack piece from RoTJ although this version is a fucking spectacular remake) while letting all your Star Wars angst come out then you haven’t lived.

Keep in mind that it’s from the scene where Vader threatens to Turn Leia to the Dark, and Luke lashes out at him in a borderline dangerous display of righteous anger.

Now imagine the full weight of ‘All the Jedi’ behind him.

Imagine the grief and rage of generations of Jedi who were murdered and tortured and betrayed at the hands of Sith, imagine the undying wail of a society genocided out of existence behind Luke as he attacks his own father because of what he’s chosen to be and what he fears he could become if he doesn’t resist.

All of the pain of the Clone Wars and Order 66 boiled down to one song, and somehow it’s still hopeful, because Luke is trying to hard to remain in the Light.

[the-last-kenobi]

worst thing ever that we’ve reached the point in human progression where we can afford to make gorgeous, jaw-dropping architecture (even and especially stuff that suits the landscape and better yet incorporates and encourages it to flourish) without the use of slaves or underpaid laborers, in a tenth of the time it took the ancients to do it, but we just… don’t.

instead we put up these hideous buildings, or okay, sometimes nice looking ones that tear violently into the surrounding ecosystem and then go out of style in ten to fifteen years.

and they aren’t even built to last???

we build gross, hastily made, slabs of buildings and huge, high-ceilinged energy wasting homes (homes!! our modern homes are oversized and overpriced, the very buildings we want to be energy conservative and sturdy!) and then watch them decay over the next fifty years. sometimes we then obliterate them and make the same mistakes all over. other times we just let them rot and rot and rot.

note that I’m not saying we should or even can scrap the kind of super affordable housing that can come from cheap architecture. there are tough knots to untie that we’d have to get through in order to make eco-friendly, attractive, sturdy homes the norm everywhere, until at some point in the future even our worst neighborhoods look pretty great and are made to stay that way. what I’m saying is we can get there.

and we could be doing so. much. more.

we look at all these gorgeous ruins and preservations and think, wow. if only. and then we don’t?

and I think a lot of people get wrapped up in, “but wouldn’t it be ostentatious” and the answer is yes, but also no!

big jaw-dropping monuments to the underlying cultural style, the things that don’t really go in and out of that nation’s sense of beauty, those are gonna be ostentatious when you first put them up! it takes people using them and loving them and nature embracing them a bit to make them that little bit softer, that little bit more wondrous!

but also, do you know how easily we could begin to just make our homes and temporary buildings more lovely and more healthy? to allow more sunlight into the buildings where we work people 9-5? to mark off more territory for green and growing things to just be, and to cultivate some in, around, and even as part of our architecture? to spread housing out more, give people and ecosystems more room to breathe?

we could do it!

but we aren’t.

(but we will.)

[the-last-kenobi]

Today, listening to Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge! in the car:

Me: I’m in love with him by the way. Tried not to. Can’t help it.

Bestie: I thought you were in love with Ewan McGregor?

Me: Babe, that is Ewan McGregor.

Bestie: It is?! He sings? Like that???? Where can I find this movie?

[the-last-kenobi]

Current status: lying in my bed staring at the ceiling, haven’t slept at all in four (4) nights, having a crisis because I haven’t worn lipstick or even lipgloss since March 2020

[the-last-kenobi]

this was what I got my father for Father’s Day and it’s very appropriate because this is the man who

1. turns every minor house project into a major house project, not by messing it up but by seizing the fucking day (or week or month) and renovating as much of the house as he can with his own two hands, years of diy experience, tips from his handyman father-in-law, and a contented air as he watches dozens of YouTube diy fix-it videos

2. went on a national parks road trip with us a week after foot surgery, wearing a cast and boot, and insisted on doing all of the hiking like that. and like 90% of the driving. he just wouldn’t let us drive. share the load Frodo.

3. had another foot surgery years later. my mother went out of town the next day for business and said “kids keep a close eye on your father, don’t let him do anything stupid” and we took this very seriously and set up a schedule to monitor him. but despite all our efforts two days later I came downstairs to make coffee and heard a noise and turned my head and there he was walking past the window, on top of the porch roof, carrying a hammer and lugging his stupid cast boot.

4. once had his car break down on him on a dark and stormy night just outside DC and rammed into another car. naturally, he drove these people home in a rental car since theirs was damaged - and their home was five hours away - drove back, returned the rental, walked up to his own wreck of a car, and with his own two hands, determination, and possibly the help of Jesus he patched that thing together long enough to limp it home. he went to bed and slept for four hours and then got up and had a normal work day + started looking at a new car.

5. whenever he has any sickness, from the common cold to the proper flu, he decides if he’s able to work based on if he passes out or not. it’s not because he feels pressure to be at work it’s because he’s a fucking workaholic and if he gets a day off then goddamnit he better be on a beach with a beer or hiking the national parks, he’s already miserable at work and he’s already miserable with the flu, might as well put it together and make a miserable omelette.

anyways he’s my role model and also a massive dork so this card brought him great joy and it’s standing on his nightstand at the moment

[the-last-kenobi]

sometimes life just makes you feel like a cynic and a crank and a very tired grown-up sort of person

and then you meet something kind, something nice, something innocent, and you just sort of ✨oh!!✨ again.

and I think that’s pretty cool

[the-last-kenobi]

A snapshot of rural living, After Dark Edition 🌘:

Me, contentedly waiting for dinner to cook in the oven: ...

*my dogs outside suddenly start barking insanely*

Me, knocking over a chair as I run to the door: Oh shit I forgot there’s a bear around!!!

*brings the dogs inside*

Me, hearing other people’s dogs barking in the distance and seeing one of my neighbors on his porch, a black silhouette against his front light, holding his rifle: Hi Steve! All good?

Steve: Yup!

Me, going back inside: I wonder if my dinner is ready yet.

[the-last-kenobi]

today my supervisor told me that I am like a superhero that shows up at the last second after the city has mostly been destroyed and then destroys it a little more while taking down the villain and then says “We did it! We saved the city!” but at least it all happens with style

and I still don’t know what he meant by that

[the-last-kenobi]

just a note to let everyone in my inbox know that I am still working on your requests (and requests are still open by the way!) but also that the rest of the week will be a bit slower because life is chaos

anyways I love all of you and thanks for filling up my asks <3