#sandwich and math connection

[bongreviewbd]

The Ham Sandwich Theorem: The Science of Cutting Sandwiches and Its Deep Mathematical Connections

Who doesn't love eating sandwiches? We all enjoy them for breakfast or lunch. But have you ever thought about the science behind cutting a sandwich? It might sound amusing, but even the act of cutting a sandwich has deep mathematical principles. In this article, we'll explore the "Ham Sandwich Theorem," a multidimensional mathematical theory. With this theorem, you can easily cut any sandwich with three components into perfect halves, even if it's messy or uneven in reality.

Understanding the Ham Sandwich Theorem:

The "Ham Sandwich Theorem" is a mathematical theory that states that it's possible to divide three different objects, regardless of their size and position, into equal halves with a single straight cut. The concept might sound complex, but it’s essentially a mathematical problem that proves that even the most irregular or uneven set of three components can be perfectly halved.

The Science of Cutting Sandwiches:

Imagine you have a sandwich with three components—bread, ham, and cheese. You want to cut it so that each component is evenly halved. This is where the Ham Sandwich Theorem comes into play. The theorem demonstrates that no matter how the ingredients are arranged, you can still halve them all perfectly with one straight cut.

This isn't just theoretical—it can be applied in real life. For example, imagine a slice of bread in Munich, Germany, a slice of ham at a farmer’s market in San Francisco, USA, and a slice of cheese in a lunch box on a plane heading to Indonesia. Even though this might not be a traditional sandwich, there is a single straight cut that can divide all three components into equal halves. Of course, you’d need a "very big knife" for this, which is used metaphorically here.

Multidimensional Space and the Sandwich Theorem:

One of the most fascinating aspects of the Ham Sandwich Theorem is that it’s not limited to just three components. Mathematical principles show that even if you have a sandwich with four components, there is still a perfect cut that will evenly divide everything. And this applies to five components, six components, and so on—even in a "multidimensional space."

In other words, whether it's a four-dimensional space for a four-component sandwich or a five-dimensional space for a five-component sandwich, there is always a perfect single cut that will divide all components equally.

Real-Life Applications of the Sandwich Theorem:

The Ham Sandwich Theorem isn’t just a fun theoretical concept—it has real-life applications. It plays an important role in fields like computer science, physics, and economics. For instance, in data analysis, the theorem is used to divide large data sets into two equal parts.

Additionally, it helps solve complex problems in various areas of life, proving that even seemingly unrelated things like cutting a sandwich can have profound scientific implications.

Why the Ham Sandwich Theorem is Important:

The Ham Sandwich Theorem shows that mathematical principles are not just limited to paper and theory—they have practical real-world applications. It proves that with the help of science and math, even the most chaotic or complex problems can be solved.

For science enthusiasts, this is a fun fact, but it also illustrates that math is always deeply connected to real life.

Conclusion:

Even a simple task like cutting a sandwich has deep mathematical insights. The Ham Sandwich Theorem proves that every problem has a perfect solution, no matter how irregular or chaotic it may seem. This fascinating mathematical concept impacts various aspects of our everyday life. So, the next time you cut a sandwich, think about how there's deep mathematical theory behind your cut!

Watch More: Black Hole: How the Smallest Black Hole is Created and its Scientific Causes

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[fordpinesthemanyouare]

Ford x Fem!Reader

Math Assistant Pt.3

Summary: Ford needs himself an assistant, Stanley makes an online post for him and BOOM there you are. Warnings: Age gap... but that's what you're here for me thinks A/N: Wanted to get this up before I leave for vacation, still serving nothing sandwiches but HEY were getting somewhere huh? I need that six fingered freak dude, like... it's so bad that I had to bring it up in therapy. Tags <3: @potato-painter

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Her car followed behind the red El Diablo that had picked Stanford up from the diner as she was returning to her car. She saw another older man in the driver seat who she assumed must have been the twin brother Stanford mentioned. She didn't get a good look at the driver before she got inside her own car, the late spring sun making its descent over the looming trees turning the sky a deep orange. Had she and Stanford really been talking for that long? The shining red car turned out of the diner parking lot, and y/n followed suit, rolling down her windows and turning up the volume to the music she had been listening to on the long drive to this desolate town. Before leaving the diner together, Stanford had told her to just follow in his car and he would lead them to where she would be spending the next few months. 

Bumping her head along to the music as she drove down the two lane road, her mind began to wonder what her time here in Gravity Falls would look like. She had always been in the lab or classroom working on ever growing math equations for most of her adult life, but she always felt a deep connection to nature, specifically Oregon’s natural woods. Since moving here to complete her schooling she loved the natural aura these woods produced, and now here she was, completely surrounded with the strong trees, she couldn't have felt more at peace. The completion of her master’s was long and grueling work that kept her away from exploring the woods, and being a thirty year old completing another degree, there was not much time for camping. Y/n had a tendency to become completely involved with her work very quickly, locking herself in the apartment she was renting near campus for days without anybody seeing her (not unlike someone else we know).  

The El Diablo turned onto a dirt road into the woods, the lights from the main road fell behind them as they continued their way into the ever growing dark forest. The two pairs of headlights were the only lumination on the long road, and the lights highlighted the seemingly eerie pointed signs nailed to the trees along the road with large question marks hand painted over them. She couldn't help but take in the amount of trees that were covered in these signs, she suddenly felt very nervous about the situation the car was lurching towards. She still had no idea what to expect, even with the long conversation Stanford and her had just been having, and arriving while it was quickly turning dark might not have been the best idea for her nerves. She breathed in through her nose, and out of her mouth to attempt to drown the anxiety brewing in the pit of her stomach as they pulled up to a lone… shack? Cabin? Store? The lights around the establishment lit the area up better for her to read the sign on the side of the building: “Mystery (S) hack”. The ‘S’ of the sign had fallen on the side of the roof; she noticed it now read ‘Mystery Hack’ and smiled a little, as the two cars pulled closer to the side of the house to park. They certainly weren't wrong about having a parking lot in front of their… home? She was certainly confused and was in thought about what she was getting herself into as she turned the car off, rolled up the windows, and began to grab any loose items to put in her purse. 

A loud abrupt knock on the window caused her to gasp and jump in the driver's seat, turning to see what monster had scared her while she was so deep in thought. Her eyes met with Stanford’s… no someone who looked similar but different in the setting sun’s light. His frame was slightly bigger at the almost the same height Stanford is, but he was wearing a shirt that had a few buttons undone from the top revealing his broad and hairy chest; he had similar glasses to Ford as well. He was flashing her a toothy grin before speaking “Well are y’gonna come out and take a tour or what?” She just stared at him, her face flushed from the scare and her mouth opening and closing not unlike a fish from water. The man laughed at her, loud and heartily, before she could hear Stanford say slightly muffled from the windows “Stanley get away from her car please.” The man took a few paces back from the window, while holding his hands up in defense, chuckling still with a smile “I wasn’t even doing anything!” 

Her heart was still racing; she grabbed her purse and stepped out of the car into the dirt parking lot, feeling towered over by Stanford's twins’ stance. She smiled past her nerves and offered her hand, “Hi there, Im Y/n, you must be Stanford’s twin he mentioned”

He gave her a smirk and an eyebrow quirk at that before grabbing her hand in his large calloused one, shaking it he introduced himself as Stanley. His broad hand had completely engulfed hers as he spoke, “He was talking about me huh? Were you excited to meet me or something, doll?” Before she could stutter out a response, feeling her face heat up at the pet name he casually called her, Stanley looked at his brother who was walking towards them “Stanford? You really were trying to seem as serious as you can point-dexter, you should probably try to loosen up a bit with your new assistant.” 

Ford rolled his eyes at his brother as he stood to the side of them, she turned to see him stand beside them with a casual smirk on his face at his brother’s antics. “A cute look on him”, the thought flashed in her mind and she dismissed it as quickly as it came. This was her new boss, that she was going to be living with and working with! She reprimanded herself silently for thinking such thoughts all while still looking at him, still she couldn't stop even when Stanford began speaking, her eyes darting to his lips as they moved.

“I was attempting to maintain professionalism with my new assistant, some of us have to maintain a sense of decorum.” Ford looked at Y/n, he didn’t want her to feel like she was not welcomed from their brotherly bantering, but she was already staring up at him from her stance. “You can also call me Ford if you’d like, I do know we will be spending a lot of time together over the next few months.” She nodded at that and looked between the two brothers. She couldn't help but think they were handsome when the two of them were towering over her like this,�� laughing and bantering with each other. Stanley snorted in response to Ford, before she could speak. 

“Ha! Decorum, that's just your fancy word for being stuck up, if you loosen up a bit Y/n might actually take a liking to you.” Stanley jabbed Ford with his elbow in his ribs as he said it and turned to her while looking her up and down now, and she felt like she was put in the hot seat from his gaze raking up and down her body as she leaned against the door to her car. Her face was still slightly red from the last comment he had made, but she didn't falter as she regained some composure. She said nonchalantly to Ford’s twin, “I would love to take that tour if you're still offering, I just have to grab some of my things.”She smirked back at Stanley’s gaze on hers as she turned to walk towards the trunk of her car, popping it open with her keys. She pulled out two large suitcases that looked like they were about ready to burst open, the two men looked towards her things and then waved her towards the shack not mentioning the state her luggage was in.

The trio walked up the steps of the porch as Y/n and Stanley locked their cars almost in unison, they looked at each other and laughed together at the uniform way the cars beeped together. Ford turned over his shoulder and saw Y/n’s beautiful laugh ring out as she looked at Stanley, he couldn't help but feel something pang deep in his chest but he continued onward toward the door ignoring the feeling before she could notice his glance back. They entered the house (shack? cabin? showroom??) and she marveled at all of the large displays that stared right back at her. She was even more confused as they shut the door behind her and flicked the lights on, detailing the displays that were previously shrouded with darkness. As she set her things down by the front door, the large sasquatch model parked in the corner immediately caught her eye and noticed the sign that pointed conveniently between the model sasquatch’s legs and read “Sas-crotch”. She huffed a laugh before looking at Ford, “Does this happen to be the lucrative project we're working on?” gesturing towards the sas-crotch with a grin. 

Ford’s cheeks started to burn a bit at his new assistant’s teasing question, feeling more embarrassed at how his home had now been turned into a tourist trap. He rubbed the back of his neck a little awkwardly before starting, “Ah yes, that is part of Stanley’s… exhibits he curates for tourists to come visit during the day. This room and two others are the only rooms where people could be walking through, and it’s separated from the rest of the house. Let me show you to your room.” He walked through the back door of the showroom as she lugged her two heavy suitcases through the room and down the hallway they entered. Stanley stayed behind, muttering something under his breath about not including him on the tour and making fun of his work. Even though she admired all of the strange things in the front room as they walked through, she marveled at the assortment of displays. They continued farther into the house, it became more evident that she was walking into a home as the freaky displays were left in the front showroom. Down the hall now, pictures hung on the wall of family members and the two brother’s, she quickly passed them following Ford, but made a note to look further into them later following Ford as he continued down the hall. 

He had led her into the kitchen, and Ford had made a point in his mind beforehand to make sure to show her where the coffee machine was. He couldn't help but note that she drank just about as much coffee as him (if not more), and he also made an additional mental note to buy extra coffee grounds the next time they went to the store. “Here is where the fuel is,” Ford said while tapping the top of the coffee maker with his palm. She giggled a little, nodding in agreement “Glad you showed me the night before we begin our work, I might have needed to run to that diner for coffee.” He smiled at her and continued on their small tour of the house, she was still awkwardly rolling the luggage through all parts of the house. 

The pair continued down another hall and up a small flight of stairs until they were stopped in front of a door, he pushed it open and what revealed was a storage closet with a deflated air mattress in one corner. The room couldn’t have been more than eight feet across, and in the opposite corner of the small bed was a desk and chair. The chair contained some folded sheets, blankets, and towels, but otherwise the room looked like nobody had been in it for a long time. There was one window above the bed that was paneled with various geometric shapes, the light in the room showed some light cobwebs in the corners. As Y/n entered the room with her luggage, Ford moved in the hall flicking on more lights in the house letting her get settled in the small room. 

“The bathroom is just across the hall for when you need it, whenever you're settled in tomorrow I can show you more of the house and where we will be working.” Ford approached, leaning on the open door frame of the storage closet/bedroom looking at the way she was taking in the room, and beginning to open up the too-filled luggage. As she knelt in front of the two suitcases on the floor unzipping them she said “I appreciate that, I always forget how tired driving makes me and this town really is in the middle of nowhere.” Y/n turned her head and looked up at Ford with a smile, taking in the sight before her. His hair seemed run through with his hands and his turtle neck sleeves were bunched up around his elbows showing off his broad forearms. She was trying her best not to ogle him, but he wasn’t responding to her statement and just looking right back at her. Their gazes met each other for a few seconds, both just staring at each other through the silence, before Ford realized it was his turn to speak. He cleared his throat as his cheeks dusted pink and brought his hand behind his neck to rub it again, “Y-yes, I’m sure you're tired after a long day today, we'll meet together tomorrow to get started on everything” He turned to walk down the stairs before Y/n gave a half shouted “Wait!”. He stopped and walked the two paces back to the door, where Y/n was standing now in the room. 

“T-thank you Ford, I appreciate you getting me set up here and showing me around, especially that coffee machine.” She suddenly felt a little awkward stopping him just so she could stutter out a thanks, her face grew warm and the pit of her stomach seemed to fill her nerves with anxiety. Ford looked at Y/n again, drinking in her beauty as she was standing there thanking him. He could barely register her words before he smiled again at her, taking one last discreet view of her full body since she was now standing, he nodded. “Of course, I’m hoping we'll be able to make further progress than I have made, now with your help.” At that, he walked from the doorway feeling his sweaty hands finally begin to make their way to just being clammy, once he was half way down the stairs away from her. Once she was left in the room alone with Ford’s footsteps thudding down the stairs towards the kitchen, she let out a breath of air she didn’t realize she had been holding. Turning back to continue unpacking a little bit, grabbing some items for a shower she desperately needed to clear her impure thoughts of the man that just stood in her doorway. 

Downstairs, Ford was deep in thought on why his body was reacting this way as he headed back to the kitchen, leaving Y/n to finish getting settled for the night. He understood that yes, his assistant just so happened to be absolutely stunning, but what he couldn’t understand is that although the interview had opened her up a bit more to him, how could he still be nervous at this point? The two of them had shared several hours together at the diner talking about work and studies, they both had many similar interests and passions for learning and he felt that she was almost too perfect for this situation. As his mind fell deeper and deeper into overthinking the whole situation at hand, Stanley walked into the kitchen to see Ford braced over the counter, his six fingered hands gripping onto the lip of the counter as if it was the only thing tethering him to reality. Stanley cleared his throat and Ford jumped slightly before turning around to face his brother, his mind previously occupied with thoughts of his new assistant. Ford’s face was a bit flushed as he looked at Stan full on now either from his thoughts previously or because Stan had now scared two different scientists within the same day. 

Stanley immediately noticed the flush spread on Ford’s nose and cheeks, if he had no context of what had been happening he would have figured he just scared his twin. Alas, Stanley knew better than to assume he was flustered because he walked into the kitchen and scared him a bit, he knew that something had just happened while the two were touring the house. The shower upstairs distantly turned on, letting both men in the kitchen know you were now completely out of earshot, a shit eating grin pulled on Stan’s lips. Ford preemptively shook his head in disagreement before Stan had even begun speaking, which caused Stan to laugh. 

“I knew I shoulda’ kept her resume from you” He laughed again looking at Ford’s now raised eyebrows at his claim, before continuing, “What? I figured you would be able to maintain, hm, what word did you use earlier? ‘Decorum’ what a load of shit, have you seen her? What happened up there to make you turn this red?”. It had been a long time since Stanley had seen his brother flustered at all, let alone because of an attractive person. That last thought to himself left him feeling a twinge of sadness in his chest. His brother had been gone for so long and had barely had any time to experience a meaningful romantic relationship, at least that he was aware of. Not that Stan wasn't checking out the new assistant earlier by the cars, and he may have been a little charmed at their unison car locking. However Stan wasn't stupid, he had certainly noticed the glances Y/n stole from his twin in the short time the three of them were together. She would look at his jaw or his hands for just a second too long, a second too long for Stan to notice the little hints before Y/n and Ford left to tour the rest of the house without him. 

“Absolutely nothing happened Stanley, I showed Y/n to her room and that was it. She mentioned that she was tired, so I politely took my leave. I am not sure what you are insinuating here Stanley, but whatever it is, it isn’t happening.” Ford’s poker face regarding his heart, definitely needed work, his blush deepened in his cheeks and his eyes couldn’t meet his twins’. Ford seemed to look at anything in the kitchen other than his brother’s incredulous stare, he began organizing the pile of papers on the kitchen table as he almost waited for Stan’s rebuttal. 

Stanley almost laughed at Ford’s feeble attempts at playing stupid, but he figured he wouldn’t pry on Ford especially with how he looked when he walked into the kitchen, as if he was in the middle of solving the world’s hardest equation. “If you wanna leave it at that, then I won’t make you talk” Stanley turned to leave Ford once again, figuring it was time to hit the hay anyways. He mumbled a goodnight to Ford before heading towards his own room, Ford could barely share the same pleasantries before registering Stanley had in fact not broached further on the subject of his new assistant. Ford was quickly left alone with his thoughts again in the empty kitchen, hearing the water trickle in the distant shower upstairs reminding him once again of the time that was yet to be spent together in the lab. 

He stood in the kitchen for a moment thinking over how Stanley had entirely dropped the teasing conversation, and frankly, it seemed like Stanley knew what he was doing by deliberately not asking. Ford groaned at the thought, bringing his hand up to his face to rub the bridge of his nose under his glasses in slight annoyance. He realized it wasn't far out from when everyone typically goes to bed, so he began to head for the basement when he stopped in his tracks when the distant running water stopped in the shower upstairs. Ford’s mind raced for a moment, running through the different courses of action. Should he head upstairs to make sure that you are all settled for the night, or should he continue to the basement for the night letting her get settled in by herself? He was almost paralyzed in thought as his heart continued to beat faster than before in his chest. 

Ford made his decision as he heard the bathroom door distantly open, as he pulled the vending machine door into its hinges and shut it closed behind him. 

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[br1ghtestlight]

getting war flashbacks to the bobs burgers fanfic where louise is doing math homework in the restaurant when nobody else is around and then bob has a heart attack </3 that shit was TRAUMATIZING

love linda shouting four whenever there's a math problem or anything related to numbers. best recurring joke. FOUR!!!!

you can do it gene :D also im so bad at math I 100% would not be able to help either. dumbass rep family

bob trying to help gene with his homework is cute. even if he is Not very good at it. he wants to be an involved dad :(

gene im not gonna lie that math question has gotta be fucking with you. rhat is not a real question. i could NEVER do that not if i was given 100 hours that shit is fake

see this is where when I was in math class i would just write a random number and move on bcuz im never gonna figure it out anyway im not gonna waste time. so that's my advice gene. just Give Up

he says "maybe your mom or tina could get you started" because they're older but I genuinely think louise has a better chance of helping bcuz she is so smart. if she'd WANT to help is another question entirely

because I'm stuck in a safe 😐

AND THEN HE BLINDFOLDED ME ON THE WAY HERE??? HE BLINDFOLDED YOU??????

teddy I think his guy is gonna murder you im gonna be so real right now

unfortunately im kinda following teddy's logic now like. it isnt like fischoeder isn't doing this type of shit everyday just for fun. rich guys are just like that BUT getting their money is nice

"gene was doing homework?? that's new"

WE'RE NOT ALL ECONOMICALLY COMFORTABLE LIKE YOU ARE

"Why did you tell me the whole long story about the sandwich in the drawer if you're running out of battery LOCKED IN A SAFE??" "Context!!!!"

also bob and teddy have such great comedic chemistry lmao they bounce off each other so naturally

louise isn't lying she Does have a certain set of skills 😭 if anyone could find him it WOULD be her the lockpicking genius nine year old supervillain

miss you. see you soon. gotta go!!

has he gotten a new cellphone since that MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND YOUR PHONE IS AT 23% argument or is it that same shitty 2008 blackberry phone that dies almost immediately lmfao

bob is a real one for doing this bullshit for teddy he did NOT have to. they're ride or die fr

I'm not entirely unconvinced that gerald isnt a serial killer but thats okay <3 men can have hobbies

also I'm choosing to believe this gerald is the same one from the taxes/weed cookie episode even though it ABSOLUTELY is not bcuz i think that would be funny. by day he's a regular tax agent by night he is a creepy rich kidnapper who pulls mind games on all his handymen

OH I FORGOT THE SUBPLOT FOR THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT SPORTS PEOPLE why did they do the whole thing with gene's homework then.... are they connected. what is the gameplan

WE PICK A NEW LOVER FOR MOM

i love how bob is apparently the only thing keeping his family from going completely off the fucking rails like. he's the only thing standing between his family and their restaurant burning down with everyone inside fr

your dad never loved that dream :/ because he's a hater :/ AND SO JEALOUS :/

you're not gonna break the world record. another hater. STOP THAT

I might be having a panic attack 💔 I CANT TELL BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE OR IM ALWAYS HAVING ONE soo real teddy

WE LOST HIM 😭😭💔

aww I love them all wearing their lil aprons <3 (crappy photo of my tablet bcuz the app im using to watch this episode doesn't allow screenshots)

SAY SOMETHING SMART LIKE UHH HOW WOULD YOU FLIP A GIANT BURGER. OH GOD THEY DIDNT MAKE THE GIANT BURGER DID THEY. WHO WOULD EVEN AGREE TO EAT THAT. AN OVER FOURTY CO-ED BASKETBALL TEAM. REALLY 😯

sorry this episode has so many good ooc quotes FJDMDJSKSKKM

gene STOP calling him father

bob is being like a whole ass detective meanwhile linda and the kids are currently making The Worst Decisions Ever

h jon benjiman is doing such a good job voicing bob in this episode idk it has so much personality and sounds natural. or it's always like this and im just now appreciating it but either way A+ work

cute bob and teddy moment ❤️❤️

(ignore the awful camera quality. nothing I can do there) also love the fact that teddy can easily lift up and manhandle bob. Good to know

there's so much going on w/ this gerald guy I dont even know WHERE to begin. what a guy. wow

this is so cute and sweet im so happy!!! YOU DOUBLE FAKE WALLED HIM :D YOU SMART SMARTIE. YOURE A GENIUS BOB

"I knew I asked the right person to come help me. Yeah. Mort wouldn't answer."

"What? You called Mort first?"

"No..."

HE ASKED MORT???? LMFAO big win for tedmort shippers. I fucking guess

MORT NEVER DOUBLE FAKE WALLED ANYONE why is bob like genuinely jealous of mort and teddy right now 😭 chill out man you've got a wife at home

"let's just say it's twelve" FINALLY bob follows my very smart advice when it comes to math homework smh

ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM EATING BOBS BURGERS FOR DINNER OR IN GENERAL!!! I mean it's a giant hamburger loaf but it technically was served at bob's burgers so it counts

GIANT FRENCH FRIES

aww this episode was so fun and cute!! I love the more adventure-y type episodes where they explore a new location so this episode was great and very stressful lmao. also very funny. I love bob and teddy's dynamic/back and forth throughout the episode and the weird mort mention at the end felt like they were soft launching his and teddy's relationship even though I KNOW they aren't actually. mort could replace kathleen if we believe. very solid 8/10 episode :)

[doudouneverte]

Shapeshifter and Valentine's Day | VW (d-four)

a/n: day four of the valentine week i hope you had a great day. here it is the fourth fic and it is in the same univers of my mama!nat fic and liked to write so i hope you'll like. And of course Happy Birthday to the gorgeous Elizabeth Olsen. See you tomorrow for the [Y.B] or [A.D] fic, i don't choose yet.

*not my GIF*

Wanda Maximoff x Romanoff!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x Daughter!Reader; Yelena Belova x Female!reader(aunt-niece); Pietro Maximoff x Female!Reader(best friend)

summary: today it's valentine's day but Wanda seem upset

Type: Fluff

Warning : me who don't know how to write a meal name and nothing else i thinks

word count: 1850

day one | day two | day three | day five | day six | day seven

----------------

You've unlocked a lot of skills since you grew up with your mom, but even if you could lie like a professional, there were three people who were able to tell when you weren't telling the truth: your mom, of course; your auntie Yelena; and your girlfriend Wanda (because of her power). But today you had planned something special, and you couldn't let anyone find it. It was a Tuesday; you came to school like you usually do, and you were greeted by Peter, Ned, and MJ. You talked about everything and nothing before you spotted silver hairs in front of your locker. "Hey Piet, how are you?" you asked, and he looked at where the voice came from.

"Oh, you're here," You looked confused. "Wanda wants to kill you, like literally, and I'm fast but not enough to stop her, so do something," he said and disappeared. You and your friends were stunts. Why would your girlfriend want to kill you? You started to remind yourself the last week to find out if you did something that could upset the Sokovian, but the answer came when you opened your locker. A wave of letters, and at the color and the heart stickers, that was Valentine's letter.

"Wow, you have a lot of fan Y/N" MJ commented, and you started to connect the dots. You picked up the letters and grabbed your things before heading to your math class. At the lunch break, you tried to speak with the witch, but she didn't even look at you. Okay, she gave you a cold treatment, and it was not your fault; that's not fair.

You thought about something to do, and you heard Pietro talk about training this afternoon, and you found a plan. After school, you rush to the compound "Good afternoon, Miss Romanoff, and happy Valentine's Day." Friday greeted you.

"Thanks you, Friday. Do you know where my mom is?" you asked

"Mrs. Romanoff is in the kitchen," the IA replied.

"Thanks you," and you ran to the kitchen, but before you met Maria, Steve, Sam, and Bucky, they seemed to talk about a previous mission, but you didn't mind; you greeted them and continued your course. In the kitchen, you found Natasha with a PBJ sandwich and Yelena, who was trying to cook something else except mac'n'cheese. Okay, it was weird, but you had the whole day to ask more about it. "Hey mom, hey auntie Yelena," you said loudly to not freak them out.

"Hey little poser, how was school?" The blonde asked, and you rolled your eyes at the nickname before replying.

"Horrible," you said, and Natasha frowned and raised her eyebrows. It was not uncommon for you to say 'school was... school' but this time it seems more than that.

"What happened, my love?" your mom asked with concern in her voice. You didn't reply; you just opened your bag and threw all the letters on the table. "What is that?" The sisters asked before they grabbed one letter and started to read it.

"Oh, the little witch is so romantic," your aunt commented.

"It's not from Wanda," you replied, and they both stared at you. They were expecting more: "It's from a girl or a guy in school, I don't know, but Wanda saw one of them put one letter in my locker, and she was upset all the day," when you explained you were making a PBJ sandwich too. You took a bite and spoke again: "I have to do something to tell her it was a misunderstanding, and Pietro tried to tell her, but even he didn't change anything." You took another bite: "I planned something, but I need your help," you said, and they gave you all their attention: "I need someone to distract her while I prepare a special date or something." Your mom was about to say something, but you cut her off: "Don't worry, we will stay at the compound."

"So what do you want to do?" Yelena asked

"I need you to help me cook something for her," you said to the younger widow and looked at the older, "and I need you to reschedule her training to this afternoon to give us the time to prepare anything."

"Hey, I can help in the kitchen too," your mom argued, and you both raised your eyebrows at her. "Okay, maybe I'm not as good as your auntie, but I can do something too, like be your sous-chef." You didn't lower your eyebrows and look at her sandwich; the redhead looked at the sandwich too. "Okay, but you own me a lot of cuddles for this," she said before exiting the kitchen.

After twenty minutes, you finally found a meal to do: chicken paprika. It's her favorite food, so you couldn't fail. Wanda came to the kitchen and said, "Hello, Yelena." She grabbed a bottle of water and some snacks.

"Hey little witch, how was school?" Yelena asked

"Like usual, you know school is school." She started to walk away until Yelena called her.

"Where are you going?"

"Training, Natasha, reschedule for today." She restarted walking when you spoke.

"Don't hurt my mom too much, babe," you said, but she didn't reply and walked away for good. "Oh no, don't worry, you know I love you too much to do something like that, darling. Okay, I love you. Bye,  honey. "I love you too; see you later, detka" you whispered to yourself, and your aunt couldn't hold back her laughter at your antics.

"She didn't even look at you; you're really fucked up, little poser," you sighed, and you both started to cook. It was hard, like really hard and tiring, and you failed twice, but now it was 9 p.m. and you finally made something that looked and tasted like Wanda's paprishka. You were glad and decided to take a shower before seeing your pouty girlfriend. On your way to your mom's room, you met Pietro.

"Hey little spider, how is my sestra?" He asked and walked with you.

"She was mad the last time I saw her; she didn't even look at me." Pietro lands his hand on your shoulder to show you his support, "But don't worry, Piet, I decided to make something that will bring my girlfriend back," and without another word you rush to the bedroom, then to the bathroom.

You needed this shower; like, really, the day was exhausting with Wanda, who was in a bad mood, your mom, who pouted because you didn't want to cook with her, and Yelena, who almost killed you when she tried to show you how skilled she was with a knife. Yeah, you needed this time alone. After changing yourself, you rush to Wanda's room, but before you steal a rose from the bouquet Tony wanted to offer to Pepper (they won't see), you were here in front of the door, and you were... stressed? Yeah, of course, because you know she could decide to not forgive you or, worse, not talk to you, and that would mean you did all this for nothing.

'Knock knock' the witch looked at the door and waited a little longer before hearing someone knock again. "Come in," she said, and you opened the door. She saw your face and the apology look on it; she saw the rose; and she saw your smile when she didn't throw you across the hallway after seeing it was you. Honestly, she had already "forgiven" you, and she wanted to apologize. No,  she needed to apologize. It was not really your fault if they put letters on your locker, but it was too much for her.

"Hey Wands, I want to apologize for this morning. I should've known..." She cut you off.

"Y/n stop." and you did "You don't have to apologize; I should do it, and I'm sorry. I knew it was not your fault if you received those letters, but I was scared that maybe you would want to be with them, so I acted like a child. I know I shouldn't be jealous or something; I know you love me, but I needed to be mad at someone, and I can't hurt people, so I was mad at you. You didn't deserve it, and I'm really sorry. Forgive me, Y/n, please."

You were speechless. You came to apologize and remind her that she was the only one you wanted, but now you didn't really know what to do, so you had to improvise. "Okay, I accept your apology on two conditions." She nodded hesitantly. "One, you took this rose because I think I cut myself with a thorn." She took the flower carefully, and she smirked. "And two, I want you to kiss me; like, really, I missed you all day. I start to know what Tony feels when Pepper is busy with work—"you were cut off when she crashed her lips against yours.

When she pulled away, you wanted to complain, but you both heard a voice from the doorframe: "It was like the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life." Pietro said you both blushed before you noticed what he had in his hands.

"Pietro, what do you eat?" You asked and secretly hoped he would not say what you thought.

"Oh, someone made the dinner and we were about to eat that's why I'm here." You were about to say something, but the speedster was... faster. "I don't know who prepared this paprishka, but it's pretty good." he look at Wanda "not good as yours but it's good you should taste"

"Pietro, that was not for you," they both looked at you, "it was for my date with Wanda," you added, and the witch blushed. Suddenly, Yelena appeared next to your best friend.

"Y/n, they are ruining your date with the little witch," she said, and then looked at the boy. "Oh, is it good?" She asked, and he nodded, "Good because we spent a lot of time to do this." She then looked at you and said, "You should come to eat and have 'family dinner'." She made air quotes, and you laughed.

When she and Pietro left to eat, you were alone with Wanda. "I think I hate them," you said, and she chuckled.

"We both know it's not true," she replied.

"Yeah, but I wish I could."

"If you hate them, can you keep loving me?"

"Always," and you kissed her. "Now let's go before they finish everything." You stood up and started to walk to the kitchen.

"Y/N?" Wanda called you, and you turned around to look at her "I love you."

You blushed. "I love you too, Wanda," you replied, giving her an air kiss. "Now the first at the kitchen, choose the film for tonight." You started to run.

"Hey, that's not fair!" the Sokovian started to run too. "I hate you, Y/N!" she yelled.

"We know it's not true!" you yelled back.

---------------------

[canofspooks]

DannyMay Day 22 (Cryptid AU)

Summary: Wes gets too curious for his own good, trying to figure out what’s wrong with Amity Park.

Words: 644

Amity Park had been a quiet town, a year ago. Wes wasn't sure what had changed, or exactly when, but the sleepy town had become almost zombie-like. Strange weather, disappearances, lapses in memory, increased reports of paranormal activity… the list went on. Sometimes, Wes felt like he was the only one not overcome with the haze that had seemingly blanketed the people around him. Almost the only one.

Sam Manson, Tucker Foley, and the one they all seemed to be connected to: Danny Fenton.

He was convinced that there had to be some reason they were immune to whatever had possessed everyone else. He just needed to figure out what. So he followed them around. A lot.

It wasn't like he could just ask, "Hey, have you noticed Lancer's eyes have been looking particularly soulless lately?" to complete strangers. That was nuts! Waiting for the trio after school and tailing them on their way home was infinitely more reasonable, and involved less social interaction.

Wes kept a good distance between him and the trio while staying in earshot - not a particularly difficult feat, considering how loud Danny and his friends talked. He was hoping for any clue as to what made them different, but all they seemed interested in discussing was veganism, for some odd reason.

Were they spared from the clutches of whatever supernatural entity had gripped the town because they were vegans? Was the town's meat supply poisoned? The turkey sandwich Wes had eaten for his lunch suddenly had a very delayed, and very sour after-taste.

No, no. Couldn't be that. He would've felt the effects by now.

He picked apart the trio's appearances and tried to think of any shared traits between them. The trouble with that was how different they all were. Why were the three even friends to begin with? It felt like they spent all their time arguing more than anything.

It didn't take long for the group to disperse, leaving Wes to trail along behind Danny in a way he hoped was inconspicuous. He found a bench near Fenton's home and settled down for the long haul.

He wasn't stalking anyone, he was just trying to figure out what to do next. Yeah, that was it.

He just happened to have binoculars.

Danny didn't seem to understand the concept of blinds, so it was easy for Wes to pick out which room was his. The boy had hardly shut the door behind him when Wes could see him gripping his jaw tightly. Skin tore under the nails, but instead of blood there was a dark green ooze. Wes looked away for a moment, holding back a gag. When he turned back to look at the window, the thing that replaced Danny was gaunt, hunched. It looks more like a monster than the person who had stood there before.

Wes didn't waste time. He grabbed his bag, threw it over his shoulders, and left. No way in hell was he going to keep pressing to find out whatever that was. He was leaving town. Forever. Didn't know how, didn't know where he would go instead, but he would never feel safe taking a math test in the same room as that thing.

He stole nervous glances over his shoulder. The walk back home felt like it was miles long. When he finally reached his front door, Wes was flooded with relief.

He rushed up to his room, locked the bedroom door, and emptied his bag out onto the bed. What did he even need to bring? Food, clothes. Start with the basics, he figured. He gathered anything he could think of onto his bed and assessed how to cram it all into one highschooler's backpack.

As he passed by the mirror in the room, he froze.

There, in his reflection, the monster he'd seen in Danny's room. Staring.

[daisychainsandbowties]

Actually, since it comes up pretty often in your fics, have you read any good books about space? Any recommendations? I'm always looking for something new to read 😅

my love of space is a wikipedia boyfriend activity so i haven’t read many books about it, at all - literally just carl sagan’s cosmos. i don’t tend to read books to learn about topics as broad as space, math, etc. i just read academic journals and ping-pong around the internet and stare at whatever seems most interesting.

so yeah, i subscribe to slightly-deranged face-tennis as a learning methodology (let’s be nice to me and call it autodidactic). mostly following vectors of curiosity aka “wikipedia” rabbit wormholes. (i was going to try make a chussy joke using knowledge but knussy was taking too long to explain, so have my deconstructed sandwich of a joke instead) i mostly just use wikis to find where topics are connected and then i hunt for other resources

i have some favourite places to seek general info (any deeper and i use library databases to find journals and specific articles) but i’ll share one or two of my accessible sources in case those are helpful!

nasa has an incredible archive of astronomy and astrophysics information and !!!! sexier 😳😳 photography. check out their archive here. each photo has some information accompanying it and i tend to just read one every day or sometimes revisit my favourites.

if you look on university websites they usually have some chapters/ articles/ resources (sometimes even class notes!) you can look at for free. here’s an example even with no logins/ institutional access you can read a lot of stuff if you dig around

this is a good site for short papers that are intended to be accessible to undergrad students

also i recommend that you explore astrobiology in general - fascinating topic!!

i won’t add any more since you were asking for books and yeah… basically i prefer documentaries for that style of dissemination, but i know there are lots of great ones out there… just not the way i learn about things - attention too scattershot to comfortably sit and learn in the shape/ at the rate an author wants me too - so i can’t think of any i can recommend from personal preference

[thelampisaflashlight]

(disclaimer: i am telling you this because i think there's a chance you might find it mildly entertaining, pls feel free to ignore it)

I haven't been reading EGO because I know it'll upset me too much (the criteria for what kind of angst will upset me is. unpredictable.) but I keep seeing the little side posts you make and going ".... What the heck is going on in there (affectionate but perplexed)"

and I just read the new post about Lamb and Jeremy and the part about Jeremy's bodily fuilds glowing, and it was like a thousand puzzle pieces suddenly connected in one blinding flash of realization, like the spiritual opposite of the lady with the algebra flying around her head except instead of triangles and math it's the phrase 'highlighter dick', and I exclaimed, out loud to myself in my empty house, "Wait, did Swiss do the do with Lamb??????"

He absolutely did, and, yeah, yeah it actually was a plot point lmao

Also completely understandable on the not reading the EGO series, it's primarily angst centered around interpersonal/general relationship issues and it gets a bit heavy.

I am, however, working on another series (which I have to draft out) that's going to be friends to lovers, and, as decided through the power of consulting Comet, it's going to be of the SwissRainDrop variety.

But going back to Lamb and Swiss (a very odd sandwich that), I was like, "Swiss is too curious for his own good." and after writing A Nightlight For Your Pride, I was like, "Yeah, he's into it."

Something, something, "Look at the man I pulled by being a sentient glowstick."

[patrickpattersxn]

Task Eleven → Intro & Connections

Patrick Patterson

Character Information*

The Basics*

FULL NAME: patrick patterson

NICKNAME: n/a

GENDER: male

PRONOUNS: he/him

AGE: thirty-three

OCCUPATION: bartender @ mount olympus member of hayden bodaways mob, third in command

FACECLAIM: adam driver

ORIENTATION: straight

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single

PETS: none - he can barely look after himself

The Personality*

+ Loyal, Efficient, Obedient - Anxious, Short-Tempered, Mischievous

patrick is someone that can’t hide his emotions. It became a running joke that he could only feel one emotion at a time since whatever emotion he felt seemed to completely overwhelm him. he’s not the most intelligent person, in fact, in his own opinion his brother got all the good genes and all the leftover ones were left for him. he’s tall and has a default facial expression that can be daunting and intimidating to others but he is a big softie on the inside. patrick is awkward and incredibly anxious about a lot of things and that is a main factor to why he  prefers to stay in the background, leaving his brother to take the lead out of them both.

patrick is a dumb dumb. he’s not great at identifying what people need in terms of care but he tries his best and that really shows. he only tries when he’s around people he cares about. patrick is selective of who he cares about, he’s been burned before. he keeps his circle small to his family/extended family. if someone’s in need and it’s an emergency, it’s probably not patrick you want to call for.

Additional Notes*

hates technology

there’s a running scoreboard in mount olympus of ‘patrick vs technology’ the technology is winning by a long mile

sandwich enthusiast - basically lives off them

clumsy af 

he’s. kinda. just. there. like a stray cat. or a big plant.

Random Quirks*

known for spraying people with the water hose in the bar if they’re annoying him 

a genius at maths but can’t articulate his thoughts for shit

banned from yoga class because mrs hasagawa said that she’s seem more grace in a piece of wet spaghetti

Wanted Connections*

friends

neighbours

work colleagues - @henrikhera @ritasaysrelax @paxtonpatterson

ex’s - ended on good or bad terms, lingering feelings, on again & off again

lovers

childhood friends - since hayden took him in

will they, won’t they

first love

Wanted Plots / Plot Ideas*

fake girlfriend because I saw what lengths my mum went to to set up my brother and i don’t want that to happen to me. it started out as a joke. patrick invited muse b to one of their family’s formal dinner parties to get their relatives off of their case. so many business opportunities to talk about, but somehow, a young adult’s love-life was much more interesting. muse b agreed to it, having grown up in a much poorer setting, just to see what it was like. the first party that they attended together, muse a found much more interesting than any had ever before, all of the attention taken off from them. muse b found it to as amazing as they imagined. they fit in naturally in the setting, creating avid conversation with all around. after that, a pact was made. patrick and muse b would be formal dates to these parties in each event. but what happens when an act begins to slip into reality?

romeo & juliet (mob version) - they’re involved in the mob on opposing sides. they meet on a mission or are sent to wipe the other out, safe to say that doesn’t happen. they sneak around to avoid being caught, drama and angst ensues

patrick ends up getting a room-mate and they continuously keep getting into awkward situations between the two like, he walks in on her in the shower or she walks in on him half naked and it just keeps getting super super awkward between the two and you can just feel the tension between the two

Taken Connections*

parental figures - @haydenbodaway and @itspersephxne - hayden took patrick and paxton in when they were kids & saved patricks life. the patterson brothers seen hayden as their dad since then and hayden eventually adopted them officially. persephone came into their lives when she met hayden and they struck up a relationship. she’s kind, sweet and has a lot of motherly tendencies - especially when looking out for patrick who is the younger of the pattersons. persephone has become a mother figure to the pattersons and patrick has no doubt that it’s only a matter of time until it’s official, expecially with hayden and persephone now expecting twins.

boss - @haydenbodaway - when patrick first met hayden properly he know there and then what the phrase ‘fear of god’ really meant. despite being his dad, hayden checks that title at the door and when they’re in a workplace environment, it’s strictly boss and employee in both bar and mob. the mob is a secret in town and patrick is third in command after hayden and paxton. he knows hayden is prepping paxton to take over the mob one day and patrick is relieved that he doesn’t have to deal with that responsibility.

brother - @paxtonpatterson - patrick’s big brother. the boys lost their parents when they were young and they have been fending for themselves ever since. his brother is the only one that he feels like he can rely on and as the younger of the two brothers, patrick looks up to paxton and admires his brother massively. paxton can do no wrong in patrick’s eyes and patrick follows him blindly into whatever situation his brother gets involved in. He truly believes that his brother knows what’s best for them.

ex - @sweetellafontaine - ella and patricks relationship has become a complicated one. ella is hayden’s goddaughter. patrick and ella were good friends and patrick looked out for ella, eventually ella had confessed feelings for him and after what felt like forever he finally opened up and confessed the same. it wasn’t long after that things had fallen apart, he had fallen out of favour and they split up. patrick took this hard as ella had encouraged him to open up. it was the first time he had really opened up to someone only for them to decide it wasn’t for them. it was a harsh blow. he knows it’s not ella’s fault, but it’s hard to not feel a sting at that. 

brother’s girlfriend whatever the hell is going on - @themanagerisavampirex - and patrick thought he was the stupid one. jesus christ. watching nani and paxton skate around their obvious feelings has patrick wanting to scream. no only is it a harsh reminder he’s likely to be forever alone, but it’s the first time he’s seen his brother genuinely happy. paxton was always so angry and deliberatly drows himself in a sea of work (both the bar and mob) but nani has managed to pull him up for air. patrick honest to god likes seeing his brother happy, he forgot what his brothers laugh sounded like until nani came along. he’s just worried about how nani will react when paxton tells her other work/not bar related news. 

cousin - @henrikhera - sunspot. hayden dislikes henrik because he’s his brother’s son but patrick doesn’t mind the guy. he thinks it’s cool that henrik stood up to his parents and started dating @magicalterencegold even thought he knew how they would react. he respects henrik for that. 

uncle - @aresolympia - hayden’s brother & patricks uncle. he’s actually pretty concerned for his uncles eyesight but knows ares and hayden have the money for the best doctors money can buy. he was recently at ares and gaspards wedding, he had a great time at that and is glad his uncle found someone. 

she’s pretty and scary - @imattractedtopower - she came into the bar, asked for a wine and patrick made a fool of himself. 

Other*

One character from the open tag you would like to see taken / added to the Most Wanted page -  from the most wanted page - gail chen & from the open tag to be added to the most wanted page - the parr brothers

One Character you want to see a bio for in relation to this specific character - philoctetes aka phil

[spacefinch]

Magic School Bus incorrect quotes

Carlos: Hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water.

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Carlos: My cereal is loud and it’s demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and god so thoughtlessly.

Phoebe: How does it taste?

Carlos: Bad.

Dorothy Ann: The fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting into CO2 and H2O over time. And carbonic acid is— as an acid— sour. By adding milk to sour water, you’ve created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I’ll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is not great.

Carlos: I have mastered the potion “Instant Spoiled Milk” earning me the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.

Ralphie: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks!

Keesha: Why would I do that?

Ralphie: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

Izzy (my OC): So basically I

Mikey: rimce 🍚

Izzy: Does nothing matter to you?

Mikey: rimce 🍚

Phoebe: She was poetry, he couldn’t read

Ralphie: his name was jarred, he’s nineteen

Carlos: When his parents built a very strange machine

Dorothy Ann: Watch that scene dig in the dancing queen

Tim: Eyyyyy Macarena

Keesha: Horrible job everyone

Phoebe: My talent is identifying birds.

Wanda: Okay, what’s this one?

Phoebe: Yep. It’s definitely a bird.

Carlos: Have you heard of Murphy’s law?

Phoebe: Yep

Carlos: Have you heard of Cole’s law?

Phoebe: I haven’t

Carlos: It is thinly sliced cabbage

Phoebe: How dare you

Carlos: “The Walking Dad” but it’s just a guy walking around the house turning off lights and muttering that he’s “not made of money.”

Mr. Ramon: CARLOS!! You left your bedroom light on again! I told you, I’m not made of money!

Phoebe: Why does anyone try to fight a goose?

Tim: Sometimes the goose gives you no option.

Tim: 🎵 The head bone’s connected to the neck bone🎵

Keesha: 🎵The neck bone’s connected to the neck bone

Carlos: 🎵 The neck bone’s connected to the neck bone

Dorothy Ann: There are seven cervical vertebrae

Ralphie: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Keesha: Why are you guys reblogging this in December?

Phoebe: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Wanda: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Keesha: It is February, you ANIMALS

Carlos: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Mikey: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Carlos: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Arnold: Being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also the horrors.

Carlos: Not all math puns are bad.

Carlos: Just sum of them.

Mikey: Dad, what’s for dinner?

Carlos: Dad, we’re hungry!

Izzy: Dad, what’s for dinner?

Carlos: Dad, we’re HUNGRY!

Mr. Ramon, trying to cook: *screams*

Carlos: Party time!

Carlos: *enters room*

Carlos: Eyyyyy! Everybody clap your hands!

Everyone: *clap clap clap clap clap*

Wanda; My DNA test results came back positive. I definitely have DNA.

Tim: Quit bragging.

Carlos: I’m glad to report that Hot Dr. Pepper was a success at my family’s Christmas dinner.

Carlos: Might be because I told everyone it was tea at first, except Mikey, who saw me pouring a bottle of Dr. Pepper into a hot pan and just immediately went “Woah can I have some of that?”

Keesha: *filming*

*camera pans over*

Keesha: Hi!

Arnold: … Okay.

Tim: I swear, the next one of you to say “weird flex, but okay” is going to regret it.

Carlos: …

Phoebe: …

Keesha: …

Dorothy Ann: Preposterous boast, but alas.

Tim: *sigh*

Wanda: If you have knees, you are valid.

Tim: Homophobes have knees, too.

Wanda: Not for long.

Ralphie: What means “I hate you” in dinosaur?

Carlos: No. Dinosaur is the language of love.

[kaileeandag]

Siri’s Collection!

-Meet Outfit (red tie dye shirt,blue bell bottom jeans,and white socks with sneakers) -Meet Accessories (pretend bag of Khaep mu,navy blue floral purse,Winnie The Pooh plush toy,and two $1 bills)

School Collection: -Siri’s School Outfit (white turtleneck shirt,blue jumper,black tights and black mary jane shoes) -Siri’s Lunch Box (Snow White lunch box containing these pretend foods: Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly sandwich,mandarin orange,Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie,and a carton of milk) -Siri’s School Supplies (red Caribou Cricket backpack with these school supplies: 5th grade math textbook,two #2 pencils,black and white notebook,and 5th grade Social Studies textbook) -Siri’s School Picture (she is wearing her School outfit and is behind a background typical of school pictures in the 70′s. Is in a doll sized picture frame)

Christmas Collection: -Siri’s New Pajamas (pink Snoopy nightgown,Snow White I’m Sleepy sleep shirt) -Siri’s Christmas Presents (heart shaped locket with SC initialed on the front,Christie Quick Curl styling head,Growing Up Skipper doll,and Barbie Townhouse) (the locket contains a picture of her sister and a picture of Siri and her parents at Astroland in Brooklyn the previous summer)

Birthday Collection: -Chronicles of Prydain book series (has all of the books in the series) -Growing Up Ginger doll (companion to the Growing Up Skipper that was released in 1976) -Siri’s Birthday Outfit (red patchwork top with blue shorts) -Siri’s Birthday Cake (chocolate cake with chocolate frosting reading Happy 11th Birthday,Siri! on it)

Summer Collection: -Siri’s 4th of July Outfit and Treats (Bicentennial t-shirt and shorts,comes with pretend grape snow cone and pretend can of Pepsi) -America’s 200th Birthday Cake (same cake as the birthday cake,but says Happy 200th Birthday,America! instead and is topped with American flag decals) -Siri’s Swimming Pool (pool is connected to a 1970′s style deck) -Siri’s Bathing Suit and Towel (pink floral one piece bathing suit and Wonder Woman towel)

Winter Collection: -Siri’s Snowy Day Outfit (blue hooded coat and red snow boots) -Siri’s Sled (red sled) -Siri’s Hot Cocoa with Marshmallows (pretend food item,comes in a pink mug)

Bedroom Collection: -Siri’s Nightgown (red nightgown with white trim) -Siri’s Bed and Bedding (twin bed with Winnie The Pooh bedding) -Siri’s Entertainment Center and TV (comes with a non-working doll sized TV) -Siri’s Record Player (can be placed to the right or the left of the TV) -Siri’s Barbie dolls (these dolls are in the set: Malibu Barbie,Malibu Skipper,and Malibu Francie) -Siri’s Live Action Barbie doll (belonged to Kanchana before her death) -Siri’s Records (plays 30 second samples of these songs: Brother Louie by The Stories,I Saw The Light by Todd Rundgren, and Sing by The Carpenters)

Extra Accessories: -Siri’s Framed Picture of Kanchana (picture is of Kanchana sitting in a chair in the house,smiling up at the person taking the picture)

[poem-today]

A poem by Tiana Clark

After the Reading

someone  asked  me  if  my husband  left me,  or if I left him. After the   reading,  someone   asked   me   if   there   was  a   chance  for reconciliation  as  I shoved a  pulled  pork sandwich  in my mouth with  Carolina  Gold BBQ  sauce  oozing  out  the  sides  like  neon yellow  lava.  After  the reading,  someone  asked  me if I still pray to  God  as  I  sipped a  fizzy Diet Coke  and the ice cubes huddled and  softly clinked  around my  upper lip  leaving a wet mustache. After  the  reading,  someone said they had been divorced too and then  scurried away  in a way that I completely  understood. After the  reading,  a  woman told me I was worthy as if I was shattered while   I   picked   up   crudités   with  a   copious  dollop  of  ranch dressing.  After  the  reading,  a  white woman thanked me for my “angry poems.”  I  told  her they were about my joy,  and then she touched  my  forearm  and  said,  “No,  they were about my rage.” Insisting.   After   the  reading,   someone  said   they   cried,   and another  gave me a kind word.  Thank you. After the after,  I went   home and changed into my cheetah print pajamas. I wrapped my hair and  brushed my teeth.  I got in bed and played a  sci-fi show on  my  laptop.  The  actors  on the show were trying to find a way to talk  to aliens by  using  math  and pheromones.  I  googled the height   of  one  of  the   actors.  He  is  6' 4".   I   fell   asleep  while watching   the    show   about    the    people   in   space   trying   to   communicate  in  first  contact,  intergalactic  noises  beeped  and swirled around the room like bees.

Tiana Clark

Copyright © 2023 by Tiana Clark. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on April 13, 2023, by the Academy of American Poets.

Listen to Tiana Clark read her prose poem.

Tiana Clark writes: This prose poem tumbled out of me as anaphora, a way to capture the catalog of interactions that I’ve experienced after readings, which is a particularly tender and vulnerable time for me, especially when I’ve shared new work. The space after a reading can be a wild tangle of joy, connection, anxiety, and awkwardness when confronted with humanity. I’m learning to be more resolute about my own boundaries in the aftercare of art making.

More poems by Tiana Clark are available through her website.

[a-captions-blog]

[Image descriptions: A Tweet thread by don(25) @VvuXian that starts with a Tweet that says: ‘omg...the cutest thing just happened at work it’s like a fic. i’m gonna do a thread, spoiler it’s a love story.’ Full thread transcription follows.

for those who don’t know: i work at the ticket counter for an airline. this older lady (i’m guessing 70) comes to the counter and says she needs some help/has a question and is wondering if i could help. i tell her go ahead she explains that she’s supposed to meet someone coming in on a specific flight (she tells me the flight number) from spain, but the plane laded and hour age and they didn’t show up. she wants to know if that person was on the plane problem is, i’m not allowed to give out that kind of information and i tell her so. she just nods and says that she understands but looks really sad, so i ask her what happened turns out she met another woman on the plane. they flew in from canada on the same plane and sat next to each other but had different connecting flights in spain. the old lady tells me she fell in love with that woman during those 11something hours and they promised to meet here now my gay heart is moved but i’m still not allowed to give her information about passengers. i advice her to maybe have her called outy or if she has her phone number, she can use our phone and call her she says she has already tried calling her but she can’t reach her. she’s ready to give up and she looks really sad, and i’m just as sad as her, but she leaves. i kind of can’t stop thinking about it. but the story isn’t over here one hour later, so just a few minutes ago, another old lady comes to the counter. she is not with me but with my coworker, and i’m in the back and eating. i hear how she says that she needs some help. she’s waiting for someone to arrive from spain. me, in the back: [photo collage of an East Asian person looking confused as maths symbols float by their head] i basically drop my sandwich and go out front to the counter. outside is another older lady, also around 70. i ask her, have you by any chance just arrived from spain? she said yes. i try not to lose it and hastily look through the papers at my computer you see, just before the first lady left, i told her she could leave her number with me, just in case. thank (caps) god (end caps) she did. i call her and when she picks up i say “hi X, there’s someone here at the counter looking for you.” she sounds out of this world excited on the phone and i hand it over so they can talk to each other and the lady at the counter says “hurry, dear, i miss you” when i tell you i almost started (caps) sobbing (end caps) only 10 minutes later, the lady from before is hurrying back to the counter. luckily she hadn’t left the airport. the two of them rush towards each other and hug. it’s like a (caps) movie (end caps) i swear they thanked me about a thousand times for helping them unite and i’m honestly just happy this got a happy ending. they leave eventually, holding hands [three sobbing blob emoji] they came back together, another 5 minutes later, with this as a gift for me (it’s a chocolate bunny) and honestly I am still so over this story. [photo of a Lindt chocolate bunny]. The follow up image is the reaction image showing Snoop Dogg holding a sign that says, ‘This is the Cutest shit Ive ever seen.’ \End descriptions]

Im.. Soft 🥺🥺🥺

cr. 

[mansurali2343]

A Day in the Life at an Elementary School

Imagine waking up every morning with the excitement of starting a new day filled with learning, laughter, and fun! For many children, this is what their school days are like. From the moment they step through the doors, they enter a world where curiosity thrives and friendships blossom. Let’s take a journey through a typical day at an elementary school to see what makes it so special.

Morning Arrival

The day begins early as students arrive at school, often greeted by the friendly faces of teachers and staff. As the children walk in, they might chat with their friends, share stories about their favorite cartoons, or discuss what they did over the weekend. This morning's buzz sets a positive tone for the day ahead.

In recent years, the landscape of education in the United Arab Emirates has transformed significantly, with an increasing number of families seeking high-quality educational options for their children. An elementary school in Dubai offers a vibrant and multicultural learning environment, reflecting the city's diverse population.

Morning Lessons

As the bell rings, it’s time for the first class of the day! Classes often start with subjects like math or reading. Teachers use fun and interactive methods to keep students engaged. For instance, in a math lesson, students might use colorful blocks or play games that involve adding and subtracting. In reading, they might explore exciting stories or participate in group discussions about characters and plots.

Group work is also a big part of learning. Students often work together on projects, which helps them develop teamwork skills and learn how to communicate their ideas. They learn not just from the teacher, but from each other, fostering a sense of community in the classroom.

Recess: Time to Play!

After a few hours of learning, it’s time for a well-deserved break! Recess is a favorite part of the day for many students. They rush outside to the playground, where they can run, climb, and play games. Some might choose to play tag, while others enjoy swinging or playing on the slides.

Recess isn’t just about physical activity; it’s also a time for socializing. Students have the opportunity to strengthen friendships and meet new friends. They learn important social skills like sharing and resolving conflicts. This time outside helps them recharge and prepares them for the next round of learning.

Lunchtime Adventures

After recess, students head to the cafeteria for lunch. The cafeteria is often a lively place, filled with laughter and chatter. Some students bring their lunches from home, while others buy meals from the school. There’s a wide variety of food available, from sandwiches and salads to pizza and fruit.

Lunchtime is another chance for students to connect with their peers. They sit with their friends, sharing stories and making plans for after school. This social aspect of lunch helps build a sense of belonging and community among students.

Afternoon Classes

Once lunch is over, it’s time to dive back into learning with afternoon classes. These might include science, social studies, art, or music. Each subject brings its own unique experiences and challenges. For example, in science class, students might conduct experiments, exploring concepts like gravity or plant growth. In art class, they could paint, draw, or work on crafts, allowing their creativity to shine.

Music class is another highlight for many students. They may learn to play instruments, sing, or even dance. These activities not only enhance their artistic skills but also promote teamwork and self-expression.

Special Programs and Activities

Throughout the week, schools often organize special programs and activities. These can include guest speakers, field trips, or themed days. For example, a field trip to a museum can bring history to life, while a guest speaker might inspire students with stories from their careers.

Schools may also have clubs and after-school activities, such as sports teams, art clubs, or science fairs. These programs give students a chance to explore their interests and develop new skills outside of the regular curriculum.

End of the Day

As the school day comes to a close, students gather their belongings and prepare to head home. Many teachers take a few moments to reflect on the day, discussing what was learned and what can be improved. This reflection is important for both students and teachers, helping everyone to grow and learn.

When the final bell rings, students rush out, excited to share their day with their families. Whether it’s about a new math concept they mastered or a fun game they played at recess, they can’t wait to talk about their experiences.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the experience at an elementary school is foundational in shaping a child’s future. From the excitement of learning new subjects to the joy of building friendships, these formative years are filled with opportunities for growth and exploration. An elementary school provides not just academic instruction but also nurtures social skills and emotional development, preparing students for the challenges ahead. As children engage in various activities—from interactive lessons to creative arts—they develop a love for learning that can last a lifetime. Moreover, the supportive environment fostered by dedicated teachers and staff plays a crucial role in encouraging students to reach their full potential.

[ignitingwriting]

Igniting Writing ‘Mealtime’ Contest 2024, Submission by Sanvi

The Nostalgia Games

Chapter One: Normal Day. Normal Life. Nothing Out of the Ordinary…

I trudged to the familiar enclosure for juveniles, the one which nobody can bother to drag themselves to… except me. I always believed that one day in the boring endless fate of children’s education there would someday be something unorthodox, something that shook us all up, but in a good way of course. That was what drove me to waking up early on a Monday morning, out of the warmth of my blankets and comfort of the bed.

As I walked through the school gates, I noticed a group of younger kids huddled together, whispering and casting nervous glances around. It was probably more nonsense about the Nostalgia Games. I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t entirely dismiss the knot of unease that twisted in my stomach.

I swung open the door to my form room, still frantically jabbing away at my phone screen just to look up and to see, to my utmost horror, my teacher and the rest of the class staring right at me. I took a step forward and paused, thirty intent eyeballs following me all the way.

I finally took a deep breath and spoke up. “What is going on here?”

“Oh Nita, what do you think?” the teacher questioned in a mocking tone, but I doubted it was meant with good intentions.

I didn’t think it was wise to voice what I actually thought at that moment as it was something relating to teachers and world domination.

“I don’t have the faintest idea,” I replied with a sweet smile pasted on my face.

“Nita,” she sighed. “It is the Nostalgia Games today,” she finished.

I couldn’t be more relieved. I thought I had missed something big like the year seven GCSEs – if that actually existed – or the class party.

Lessons whizzed by in a flurry, the air laced with tension of the Nostalgia Games; partly because the children who were taken were never to be heard of again, except for one of the bunch. From the long history of the games, people had gradually figured that there was one winner – the child that came back – but nobody had ever found out what happens on the inside of that sort of business. The most popular theory was that children who felt nostalgia on that day were more likely to be picked – hence the name - and I actually saw the logic behind that one.

After my lessons, I made my way to the food hall, sighing with relief that I had made it through a whole morning of maths while the others sniffed with fright, rubbed their noses, closed their eyes and squealed with fear.

A voice boomed from the speakers at full volume and a pair of twins next to me jumped with shock. “Childrennn,” the headteacher drawled, “bewwware of the nossstalgia gamesss today and ssstay sssafe.”

I really didn’t think this was necessary, as everybody was already making enough tumult and this was like adding petrol to a fire, but I wasn’t in charge so I decided to restrain from voicing my concern this time. I could almost imagine the sleepy complexion of our headteacher, his shaggy brown hair falling down his face, his nose wrinkled in concentration as he spoke.

I got a decent lunch, quite a classic: a sandwich, a packet of crisps and an apple. I heard a familiar voice and froze on the spot.

“Ohhhhhhhh Nita, come have an American fajitaaaaaaa,” the voice almost sang.

It was Peony. And an American fajita. AN AMERICAN FAJITA. It was that moment when I realised why a bully was offering me food; I felt connected to America. Every time I remembered it, a fire was ignited in my heart. The glowing warmth of my cousins, the sun’s scorching heat beating down on all of our backs, the happiness and joy that I found there.

I felt a pang of longingness but I brushed it away; now was definitely not the time to stare at the sky wishing things that were not currently happening. By the time my train of thought had departed, the fajita was a few centimetres away from my nose and I knew I couldn’t hold my breath for long…

Chapter Two: The Games

I gasped and woke up, panting for breath. My eyes were blurry and I had to squint to make out the surroundings. Flustered, I rubbed my eyes again but nothing changed; the hot sun whipped at my skin, cacti sprouted up in a neat circle and thin grains of sand blew in the gentle breeze.

My cousin came running towards me.

“NITAAAAAAAAAA!” she squealed with sheer excitement, a broad smile pasted on her face. I looked at her, bewildered.

“What did they do to my school?!” I asked, gazing upon the wonders of what looked like America.

“Nice joke, Nita, and just so you know we are in America… in front of my house,” she finished, gesturing at the massive structure which I was sitting beside.

My cousin held an American fajita in her hands, signalling for me to take it. I have to admit, the offer was quite tempting, my favourite types of beans protruding out of the slightly burned wrap and different types of sauces trickled down it, bursting with flavours.

As exciting as this was, I knew something was off; I was in school just a moment ago. And now…

“Enjoyed your little experience, Nita?” an anonymous figure asked.

I looked around for the third time in five minutes. I was in a building with 12 other children who looked just as exhausted as I was. A memory rang in the back of my mind; my teacher’s voice. “Nita, it is the Nostalgia Games today,” and it hit me all at once, 13 children on 13th February. I was chosen for the games.

Chapter Three: Drown in Nostalgia

I half expected the figure to still be standing there, staring at me expectantly for an answer, but thankfully they had moved on to stand on the podium in the middle of the room.

“Hello, contestants, and welcome to the Nostalgia Games!” they announced. If they expected applause, I think we disheartened them as we all just continued lifelessly staring up at the podium. “The game you will be competing in today is Drown in Nostalgia, where you each shall choose a weapon to defeat each other with.”

A table with a red cloth draped majestically over it was rolled into the room and the fabric was removed with a flourish to reveal 13 gleaming silver platters. Even though I should have been dreading this, my curiosity gnawed at me.

‘What is in those platters?’

With one wave of the figure’s hand, the platters flew off and inside was… food.

“Ooooh, we get food before the games. That is actually nice of you all,” I said, face bright with eagerness as I saw the American fajita waiting for me on the third plate.

“Nita!” the voice boomed, “how dare you insult the weapons!”

I stifled a laugh; I couldn’t help but think that maybe the Nostalgia Games could be fun after all.

“Can we eat the weapons?” a girl with black hair asked.

“Mei, with the kindest regards, be quiet,” the figure sighed.

We all chuckled. In these circumstances it was great to have a comedian, although I did start the joke, but I decided not to delve into that.

“Your task will be to find a person and make them eat your food to drown them in their own nostalgia. Refusing food is not permitted,” the voice continued.

Mei spoke once again. “Can we have water then please sir, you know, to drown them.”

We burst into laughter. Cheers and cries of support for Mei drowned out the voice of the figure.

Chapter Four: Rise From Nostalgia

“Your task is simple,” the figure’s voice echoed through the chamber. “Use the nostalgia within these foods to force your opponents to relive their deepest memories and emotions. The last one standing will be the victor and return home.”

Each of us picked a platter. I took the American fajita, the comforting taste of which held memories of sunny days and family gatherings. Mei, the only one who’d dared to joke about the game, selected a spicy curry. Others chose various nostalgic foods, each carrying a heavy load of memories. The strategy was clear: trigger powerful memories, overwhelm the senses and watch them falter.

I approached a girl with a sadness in her eyes, holding out the fajita. Her face twisted in surprise and recognition as she took a bite. Memories of family vacations and joyous reunions washed over her and I saw the weight of her emotions drag her down. Tears streamed down her face as she slumped to the floor, overwhelmed.

The figure on the podium’s eyes glittered with approval. “One down. Keep going.”

I moved on, carefully selecting my next target. The spicy curry Mei held was already having its effect. She’d managed to corner a boy who was now struggling against a flood of memories associated with his grandmother’s cooking. He stumbled and fell, clutching his chest as if the nostalgia itself were a physical force.

As the numbers dwindled, the intensity of the game grew. Each bite and each memory seemed to sap the strength from the contestants. The room was filled with sobs, gasps and the muffled sounds of nostalgia-induced breakdowns.

The tension in the room was palpable as the final contestants, Mei and I, faced off with our respective nostalgic foods. Mei held the spicy curry, while I had the American fajita. The figure on the podium watched us with an inscrutable gaze.

Mei and I exchanged determined glances. We each took a deep breath, preparing ourselves for what lay ahead. I took a careful bite of the American fajita, savouring the flavours that reminded me of joyful family gatherings and sunny days in America. Memories of laughter, warmth and love washed over me, but I focused on keeping my emotions in check. I allowed myself to feel the nostalgia, but made sure it didn’t overpower me.

Mei, on the other hand, seemed more vulnerable. She hesitated before taking a bite of the spicy curry. The rich, aromatic spices triggered an intense wave of memories for her – perhaps of her family’s cooking, or the heat of their kitchen. Her eyes widened as the nostalgia hit her. She was overwhelmed by a flood of emotions, her face contorting in distress.

I noticed the change in Mei’s demeanour. The spices and flavours washed over her, devouring her in nostalgia.

“Mei, you okay?” I called out, but my voice seemed to be swallowed by the intensity of the moment.

“Overwhelmed by the nostalgia, Mei,” the figure announced. “You are out.”

The room’s atmosphere shifted and I felt a wave of mixed emotions. Despite the intensity of the memories triggered by the fajita, I managed to stay grounded. I focused on the positive aspects of my nostalgia, drawing strength from the happy memories rather than being submerged by them.

With Mei’s defeat, I was left alone in the centre of the room. The oppressive weight of the nostalgia that had dominated the game began to lift.

The figure on the podium approached me, their gaze now softer. “Congratulations, Nita,” the figure said. “You have managed to control the nostalgia and emerge victorious.”

The walls of the room shimmered and the oppressive atmosphere began to dissolve. The familiar surroundings of the school reappeared, bringing with it the relief of the ordinary world. I stood there, breathing deeply, a mix of triumph and exhaustion washing over me. As I stepped back into the daylight of the school hallway, I felt a renewed sense of appreciation for the mundane and the ordinary, a stark contrast to the intense nostalgia I had just survived.

[gaymerlamer]

This post was like "Good, Bad, Good" for me. Aka a shit sandwich I guess.

I hate how fucking pissy artists get when you call them talented. Look, on the one hand yes, some people write it off as 'talented' and do ignore the massive amount of time and effort that it takes to become good at art. But on the other hand, it's not reasonable to completely disregard natural talent or aptitude! And I always feel like visual artists are reactionary and go full opposite "anyone can do it!".

The truth is in the middle. Having some level of talent or aptitude or whatever you call it is probably a factor in why someone goes into art in the first place. I don't have that talent. I am terrible at visualizing things, coming up with designs, transcribing things into visual references.

You know what I am good at? Math. Math always came easily to me, and I apply it to all kinds of situations to quickly get me information I need then move on. I have a much greater chance of being able to make mathematical connections, or do things in my head. My colleagues remark on it often.

You know what I don't do? Get fucking pissed off at them and say "Well that's insulting all the time I put into learning math." I learned it, and use it in my day to day because I was fucking good at it. And I'm better the same is true for the majority of artists!

So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?

“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”

And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.

[bleedingpeanutbutter]

On Cooking

Nothing brings people together like food. Obviously we need it for basic survival but I would propose there is more too it than that. It could be the desire to connect, or maybe its that it lights up the pleasure centers in our brain. It's a craft that you can get good at and get a tasty treat at the end of. You can swap recipes with other people and discover the next magic spell. Could that be it? Is there an element of magic that we long for that cooking brings us? Why, in a world where we cook less and less are food shows becoming more popular? Michael Pollan contends that we have replaced traditional cooking with watching cooking shows. A poor substitute to be sure. Learning how to cook has to be one of the most rewarding hobbies one can enter in to. I would challenge everyone to try and start by perfecting one dish. Just one. Then another, and another.

I would even contend that you can teach almost all of school through food. You teach kids a valuable life skill, with a lesson they are more likely to remember and you get to eat something at the end. For example did you know that Baklava uses honey because they had not discovered sugar yet in the middle east? Or that the Sandwich was invited so an Earl could keep gambling? Chicken wings used to be used only for stock and were for decades considered the worst part of the chicken? That solves the history problem. You could even teach math through baking using ratios and measurement. As they say baking is science cooking is art. Teach science showing the chemical reactions of say yeast in warm water. There is a infinite amount of examples one could come up with.

It is a travesty that our modern American age has left so many young people without even a basic understanding of how to properly make a simple dish like Spaghetti. There are a few skills in life that I would consider force multipliers. A term I first heard Tim Ferris use. Meaning that it enhances all other aspects of your life. Things like weight training, meditation, reading are all force multipliers. I would put getting decent at cooking up there with a bullet. Crafting an fantastic dish is certainly as creative as say making a record or writing a book.

If you want to lose weight understanding how calories and carbs work will get you there. If you want to gain muscle, understand protein and carb interaction is vital. If you want to know why most gluten sensitivity is nonsense because you kneed dough to develop the gluten protein. You want a lot of gluten in say pizza dough and next to no gluten in a muffin for example. Even just to save tons of money. You can eat like a king for a fraction of the price of going out. Once you learn how to do it all you can even pre make everything in advance so all you have to do at the end of a long days work is reheat.

Maybe its because in our modern society our homes are divided with both parents working so there is no parent at home that can teach the kids this basic skill. Maybe in our fast food on every corner world we have just become too lazy. But I would challenge everyone to seek out the advice of Gordan Ramsey, Jamie Oliver, Alton Brown, and even Tim Ferris with the Four Hour Chef and learn some basics. I can't think of too many more rewarding journeys. Seeing your first loaf of homemade bread is not a feeling that can be bought on a dollar menu.