#sandwich and math connection

[bongreviewbd]

The Ham Sandwich Theorem: The Science of Cutting Sandwiches and Its Deep Mathematical Connections

Who doesn't love eating sandwiches? We all enjoy them for breakfast or lunch. But have you ever thought about the science behind cutting a sandwich? It might sound amusing, but even the act of cutting a sandwich has deep mathematical principles. In this article, we'll explore the "Ham Sandwich Theorem," a multidimensional mathematical theory. With this theorem, you can easily cut any sandwich with three components into perfect halves, even if it's messy or uneven in reality.

Understanding the Ham Sandwich Theorem:

The "Ham Sandwich Theorem" is a mathematical theory that states that it's possible to divide three different objects, regardless of their size and position, into equal halves with a single straight cut. The concept might sound complex, but it’s essentially a mathematical problem that proves that even the most irregular or uneven set of three components can be perfectly halved.

The Science of Cutting Sandwiches:

Imagine you have a sandwich with three components—bread, ham, and cheese. You want to cut it so that each component is evenly halved. This is where the Ham Sandwich Theorem comes into play. The theorem demonstrates that no matter how the ingredients are arranged, you can still halve them all perfectly with one straight cut.

This isn't just theoretical—it can be applied in real life. For example, imagine a slice of bread in Munich, Germany, a slice of ham at a farmer’s market in San Francisco, USA, and a slice of cheese in a lunch box on a plane heading to Indonesia. Even though this might not be a traditional sandwich, there is a single straight cut that can divide all three components into equal halves. Of course, you’d need a "very big knife" for this, which is used metaphorically here.

Multidimensional Space and the Sandwich Theorem:

One of the most fascinating aspects of the Ham Sandwich Theorem is that it’s not limited to just three components. Mathematical principles show that even if you have a sandwich with four components, there is still a perfect cut that will evenly divide everything. And this applies to five components, six components, and so on—even in a "multidimensional space."

In other words, whether it's a four-dimensional space for a four-component sandwich or a five-dimensional space for a five-component sandwich, there is always a perfect single cut that will divide all components equally.

Real-Life Applications of the Sandwich Theorem:

The Ham Sandwich Theorem isn’t just a fun theoretical concept—it has real-life applications. It plays an important role in fields like computer science, physics, and economics. For instance, in data analysis, the theorem is used to divide large data sets into two equal parts.

Additionally, it helps solve complex problems in various areas of life, proving that even seemingly unrelated things like cutting a sandwich can have profound scientific implications.

Why the Ham Sandwich Theorem is Important:

The Ham Sandwich Theorem shows that mathematical principles are not just limited to paper and theory—they have practical real-world applications. It proves that with the help of science and math, even the most chaotic or complex problems can be solved.

For science enthusiasts, this is a fun fact, but it also illustrates that math is always deeply connected to real life.

Conclusion:

Even a simple task like cutting a sandwich has deep mathematical insights. The Ham Sandwich Theorem proves that every problem has a perfect solution, no matter how irregular or chaotic it may seem. This fascinating mathematical concept impacts various aspects of our everyday life. So, the next time you cut a sandwich, think about how there's deep mathematical theory behind your cut!

Watch More: Black Hole: How the Smallest Black Hole is Created and its Scientific Causes

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[izumkay]

~KNOTTED DESIRES~ |Ch-1|

—SATORU GOJO

♡Pairing- SatoruGojo×TeacherFem!Reader(main), Reader×Nanami.

♡Summary- As a new teacher, you step into the prestigious halls of a modern high school, ready to guide and inspire your students. But your plans take an unexpected turn when Satoru Gojo, a charismatic and self-assured senior, makes a move on you, challenging your boundaries and professional. What starts as a clash of personalities quickly evolves into a forbidden connection, leaving you both caught in a whirlwind of desires.

Gerne/Tags- Age difference(8 years), Student-Teacher relationship, Satoru is obsessed over you, high school setting, Love triangle, complicated relationship, happy ending.

Warnings!- MDNI. Explicit sexual content, angst, mentions of death, blood, fluff, strong language, hurt/comfort.

Wc- 2.5k

Next chapter!

The classroom was buzzing with the usual first-day energy as students chatted among themselves, settling into their seats. The door creaked open, and in stepped the new math teacher. You were young—maybe too young to be teaching a senior class—but there was an air of confidence about you that made the room fall silent. You smiled warmly, setting your briefcase down on the desk before turning to face the class.

"Good morning, everyone," you said, your voice clear and calm. "I’ll be your math teacher this semester, and I’m also your class teacher, so feel free to reach out if you need anything." Your gaze swept over the students, making brief eye contact with a few, before resting on one student in particular. You quickly looked away, but something about the way his eyes lingered made your heart skip. "Let’s make this a productive year, shall we?"

From the back of the room, you heard a voice break the silence. A boy leaned back in his chair, looking at his friend seated next to him. "That’s our math teacher this semester... isn’t she a bit too young to be a teacher?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Another voice followed, smooth and confident. "She’s hot."

You felt a small blush creep up your neck, but you kept your expression neutral, focusing on the lesson you had prepared. Meanwhile, the two boys exchanged amused glances, and the class murmured with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. You couldn't help but feel a sense of tension in the air as you prepared to begin the first lesson of the semester, you were fucking nervous.

During the whole lecture, you could feel the eyes of that certain student, could feel him staring right into your soul. Every time you glanced in his direction, he was watching you with an almost unsettling intensity, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. You couldn’t tell if it was just the playful teasing of a senior or something else entirely, but it was hard to shake the feeling that he was sizing you up.

♪°.•——✧——•.°♪

After the bell rang, signaling the end of the lesson, the students began to shuffle out of the room. You quickly gathered your materials, trying to ignore the lingering tension in the air. That one student—him—hadn't taken his eyes off you the entire class, and you couldn't shake the feeling that his gaze was more than just curiosity. But you had no time to dwell on it now.

By the time you made it to the staff room for lunch, your nerves were still a little on edge. You sat down across from Utahime, your colleague, and took a deep breath.

"So, how was your first day?" Utahime asked, her voice light but laced with knowing amusement.It was lunch break, and you sat across from your colleague, Utahime, in the staff room, picking at your food as you vented about your first day.

"I was so freaking nervous!" you said, chewing on your sandwich. "The whole class was just staring at me, like for what? And then, there’s this student who literally called me hot—like, everyone could hear it!" You sighed, running a hand through your hair. "Is it weird to teach while being young, Hime?"

Utahime chuckled softly, her eyes glinting with amusement. "It’s not weird, but I can see how it might throw you off. You’re still getting used to being the authority figure in the room, huh?"

You frowned, frustrated but also a little embarrassed. "It just feels... different, you know? Like, I’m still getting used to this whole ‘teacher’ thing. And then he just blurts that out. How am I supposed to take that seriously?"

Utahime's laughter echoed again, more knowing this time. "You’re just too easy to tease, that’s all. Don’t let it get to you."

You groaned, sinking back in your chair. "I just want to teach, Hime. I don’t need them calling me things like that for fun."

She gave you a teasing look. "Well, you can’t deny that you’re easy on the eyes."

You shot her a look, half-amused and half-exasperated. "You’re no help."

Utahime smirked, clearly enjoying teasing you. "You’ll get used to it. Students are just... well, they’re students. They’re gonna push your buttons and see what they can get away with."

You sighed, pushing your food around on your plate. "I know, but it’s just the way they look at me. That one kid, especially... I swear he was staring at me like he could see right through me. It’s hard to focus when you can feel someone’s eyes on you the entire time."

Utahime raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "A certain student, huh? Which one?"

You hesitated for a moment, trying to keep your composure. "The one with the white hair. He’s the one who called me hot. I swear, he wasn’t even trying to hide it."

Utahime’s grin widened. "Gojo, huh? He’s a handful, but you’ll learn to handle him. Trust me, he’s not the type to back down easily. And if he’s got his sights on you, well... you’ve got a bit of a challenge ahead."

You rolled your eyes, a small chuckle escaping. "I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of challenge. I just wanted to get through the first day without making a fool of myself."

"Well, you didn’t," Utahime said, her tone light but reassuring. "You’re doing fine. But if Gojo’s giving you trouble, don’t be afraid to put your foot down. He respects strength."

You leaned back in your chair, sighing deeply. "I just need to figure out how to handle him... and the rest of the class, for that matter. It’s only the first day, but it already feels like I’m swimming in deep water."

Utahime leaned forward, her eyes softening with understanding. "You’ll be fine. You’re stronger than you think. Just keep your head up and remember—you're in charge in that classroom."

Utahime leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she thought for a moment. "Gojo's a handful, no doubt about it," she said, her voice tinged with frustration. "He’s one of those students who thinks he can get away with anything because he’s charming or... whatever. Honestly, I can’t stand him sometimes. He’s cocky, disruptive, and always testing boundaries."

You blinked, surprised by her bluntness. "I didn’t realize he was that bad. He seemed like the type who liked to joke around, but—"

"Oh, he does," Utahime interrupted with a sigh. "But it’s not just jokes. He’ll push you to your limit, see how far he can go before you snap. And if you show any weakness, he’ll keep going. I can’t even count how many times I’ve had to call him out in front of the class just to remind him who’s in charge." Her tone softened slightly. "But you can’t let him rattle you. Trust me, I’ve been there."

You nodded, processing her words. "So, what did you do when you first became a teacher? How did you handle... all of this?"

Utahime chuckled dryly, shaking her head. "When I first started, I was just as nervous as you. I didn’t know how to keep the class under control, especially with students like Gojo. But you learn quickly that you have to be firm. I made mistakes, of course—let a few things slide that I shouldn’t have, and it came back to bite me. But over time, I learned to set clear boundaries and hold my ground. If they know you won’t back down, they’ll respect you. Gojo included."

You looked at her thoughtfully, taking in her words. "So, it’s all about setting boundaries... and not letting them walk all over you?"

"Exactly," Utahime said, her voice more serious now. "They’ll test you, especially the ones like Gojo. But you have to show them you’re not there to be their friend—you’re there to teach them. If you don’t make that clear from the start, they’ll walk all over you. And trust me, it’s a slippery slope once they realize they can get away with things."

You sat back in your chair, feeling a bit more confident now. "Okay, I think I get it. It’s just... a lot to handle at once."

Utahime smiled warmly. "It is. But you’ll figure it out. You’ve got the right mindset. Just stay strong, and don’t let them see you sweat."

You sighed, thinking about spending this whole semester with such a student, especially Gojo. The thought of dealing with his constant teasing and playful challenges made your head spin. Could you really maintain control over the class with someone like him around?

"I just hope I can keep my composure," you muttered, half to yourself. "I can already tell he’s going to be trouble. I’m not sure I’m ready for this."

Utahime gave you a knowing look. "He’s a lot, but you’ll manage. Don’t let him get under your skin too much. Just remember, you’re the teacher. You’re in charge."

You nodded slowly, trying to convince yourself. "I just need to get through the first week... and then maybe things will settle."

"First week?" Utahime raised an eyebrow. "No, you’ll be fine long before that. It’s just about establishing boundaries. Trust me, once you show him you’re not someone he can push around, he’ll back off."

You hoped she was right, but the thought of Gojo’s gaze—so intense, so unwavering—still made you uneasy. He wasn’t just a student. There was something about him that felt different, like he wasn’t just testing your authority but also you.

You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts. "I’ll try to keep that in mind. I just need to focus on teaching... and not get distracted."

Utahime chuckled, clearly sensing your growing frustration. "Don’t worry, you’ll find your balance. Just take it one step at a time."

♪°.•——✧——•.°♪

A week had passed, and you had started to settle into the rhythm of your class. The nerves that once gripped you had loosened, and you were beginning to feel more confident in your role as their teacher. The students were, for the most part, well-behaved—except for one persistent problem.

Gojo.

He hadn’t stopped pushing your buttons, testing your limits in every possible way. And it wasn’t just him—his best friend, Geto, was always by his side, offering quiet encouragement or a knowing smirk whenever Gojo decided to stir the pot. You couldn’t help but notice how often those two were together, always in sync, always a step ahead of you in their playful mischief.

During lessons, Gojo would drop a comment or two, usually something to make the class laugh, but always timed perfectly to disrupt the flow. He’d casually lean back in his chair, hands behind his head, looking at you like he was waiting for you to crack. Geto, ever the quiet accomplice, would throw in a sarcastic remark or an exaggerated eye-roll, just enough to keep things interesting for Gojo.

It wasn’t that they were openly disrespectful—at least, not entirely. But it was clear they didn’t take you as seriously as the others. And no matter how many times you asked them to focus or reminded them to be quiet, they always seemed to slip through the cracks.

You had been handling it better than you expected, but deep down, you knew this was only the beginning. The real challenge was just getting started.

Finally, the bell rang, signaling the end of the lecture. The students filed out of the room, eager to get to lunch or their next class. You were gathering your notes when you noticed Gojo standing near the door, leaning against the frame with a casual smirk on his face.

He hadn’t left with the others. Of course, you should have expected that.

"You know," Gojo started, his voice playful, but there was a hint of something more behind it, "you really should relax more. You're too tense." His eyes twinkled as he pushed off the doorframe and slowly made his way toward your desk, still looking far too confident for your liking.

You couldn’t help but sigh inwardly. "Gojo," you said, trying to keep your tone professional, "you should be getting to your next class."

"Eh, I’m good," he replied nonchalantly, leaning over your desk to get a closer look at the papers in front of you. "I was just thinking... you could lighten up a bit, you know? It’s not like you need to be all serious all the time. We’re not going to bite."

You narrowed your eyes, trying to ignore the fact that he was getting uncomfortably close. "I’m not here to be your friend, Gojo," you said, your voice steady despite the way your pulse quickened. "I’m here to teach."

He straightened up, a teasing grin spreading across his face. "Oh, I know. But I think you're doing a great job so far. Still... a little more fun wouldn’t hurt, right?"

You couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or if he was just trying to get a rise out of you, but either way, you weren’t about to let him get under your skin. "You can go ahead and tell that to your friend," you said, pointing toward Geto, who was waiting by the door with his arms crossed, watching the exchange with an amused expression.

Gojo chuckled and winked at you. "Maybe I will. But, hey, I’m just looking out for you." He straightened up, taking a step back. "I’ll let you get back to your papers. But don’t think I’ll stop giving you a hard time. It’s more fun that way."

With that, he gave you a quick salute before turning and walking out, leaving you standing at your desk, unsure whether you were more frustrated or intrigued.

"Ugh, what's his problem?!" you thought to yourself, feeling a headache begin to form. The interaction with Gojo had left you more rattled than you'd like to admit. You tried to shake it off, but his cocky grin and the way he seemed to know exactly how to get under your skin lingered in your mind.

You leaned back in your chair, rubbing your temples as you glanced at the clock. The day wasn’t over yet, and you still had a pile of work waiting for you, but it was hard to focus when all you could think about was Gojo’s words—and the strange, unsettling feeling they left behind.

It seemed like no matter how hard you tried to ignore it, he was always there, testing your patience. And you had a feeling this was just the beginning.

With a frustrated sigh, you pushed the thought aside and focused on your papers, trying to block out the headache—and the thought of what the rest of the semester with Gojo might bring.

Next chapter!

A/n- I hope you liked this chapter! Feel free to drop your thoughts!♡

[fordpinesthemanyouare]

Ford x Fem!Reader

Math Assistant Pt.3

Summary: Ford needs himself an assistant, Stanley makes an online post for him and BOOM there you are. Warnings: Age gap... but that's what you're here for me thinks A/N: Wanted to get this up before I leave for vacation, still serving nothing sandwiches but HEY were getting somewhere huh? I need that six fingered freak dude, like... it's so bad that I had to bring it up in therapy. Tags <3: @potato-painter

----------

Her car followed behind the red El Diablo that had picked Stanford up from the diner as she was returning to her car. She saw another older man in the driver seat who she assumed must have been the twin brother Stanford mentioned. She didn't get a good look at the driver before she got inside her own car, the late spring sun making its descent over the looming trees turning the sky a deep orange. Had she and Stanford really been talking for that long? The shining red car turned out of the diner parking lot, and y/n followed suit, rolling down her windows and turning up the volume to the music she had been listening to on the long drive to this desolate town. Before leaving the diner together, Stanford had told her to just follow in his car and he would lead them to where she would be spending the next few months. 

Bumping her head along to the music as she drove down the two lane road, her mind began to wonder what her time here in Gravity Falls would look like. She had always been in the lab or classroom working on ever growing math equations for most of her adult life, but she always felt a deep connection to nature, specifically Oregon’s natural woods. Since moving here to complete her schooling she loved the natural aura these woods produced, and now here she was, completely surrounded with the strong trees, she couldn't have felt more at peace. The completion of her master’s was long and grueling work that kept her away from exploring the woods, and being a thirty year old completing another degree, there was not much time for camping. Y/n had a tendency to become completely involved with her work very quickly, locking herself in the apartment she was renting near campus for days without anybody seeing her (not unlike someone else we know).  

The El Diablo turned onto a dirt road into the woods, the lights from the main road fell behind them as they continued their way into the ever growing dark forest. The two pairs of headlights were the only lumination on the long road, and the lights highlighted the seemingly eerie pointed signs nailed to the trees along the road with large question marks hand painted over them. She couldn't help but take in the amount of trees that were covered in these signs, she suddenly felt very nervous about the situation the car was lurching towards. She still had no idea what to expect, even with the long conversation Stanford and her had just been having, and arriving while it was quickly turning dark might not have been the best idea for her nerves. She breathed in through her nose, and out of her mouth to attempt to drown the anxiety brewing in the pit of her stomach as they pulled up to a lone… shack? Cabin? Store? The lights around the establishment lit the area up better for her to read the sign on the side of the building: “Mystery (S) hack”. The ‘S’ of the sign had fallen on the side of the roof; she noticed it now read ‘Mystery Hack’ and smiled a little, as the two cars pulled closer to the side of the house to park. They certainly weren't wrong about having a parking lot in front of their… home? She was certainly confused and was in thought about what she was getting herself into as she turned the car off, rolled up the windows, and began to grab any loose items to put in her purse. 

A loud abrupt knock on the window caused her to gasp and jump in the driver's seat, turning to see what monster had scared her while she was so deep in thought. Her eyes met with Stanford’s… no someone who looked similar but different in the setting sun’s light. His frame was slightly bigger at the almost the same height Stanford is, but he was wearing a shirt that had a few buttons undone from the top revealing his broad and hairy chest; he had similar glasses to Ford as well. He was flashing her a toothy grin before speaking “Well are y’gonna come out and take a tour or what?” She just stared at him, her face flushed from the scare and her mouth opening and closing not unlike a fish from water. The man laughed at her, loud and heartily, before she could hear Stanford say slightly muffled from the windows “Stanley get away from her car please.” The man took a few paces back from the window, while holding his hands up in defense, chuckling still with a smile “I wasn’t even doing anything!” 

Her heart was still racing; she grabbed her purse and stepped out of the car into the dirt parking lot, feeling towered over by Stanford's twins’ stance. She smiled past her nerves and offered her hand, “Hi there, Im Y/n, you must be Stanford’s twin he mentioned”

He gave her a smirk and an eyebrow quirk at that before grabbing her hand in his large calloused one, shaking it he introduced himself as Stanley. His broad hand had completely engulfed hers as he spoke, “He was talking about me huh? Were you excited to meet me or something, doll?” Before she could stutter out a response, feeling her face heat up at the pet name he casually called her, Stanley looked at his brother who was walking towards them “Stanford? You really were trying to seem as serious as you can point-dexter, you should probably try to loosen up a bit with your new assistant.” 

Ford rolled his eyes at his brother as he stood to the side of them, she turned to see him stand beside them with a casual smirk on his face at his brother’s antics. “A cute look on him”, the thought flashed in her mind and she dismissed it as quickly as it came. This was her new boss, that she was going to be living with and working with! She reprimanded herself silently for thinking such thoughts all while still looking at him, still she couldn't stop even when Stanford began speaking, her eyes darting to his lips as they moved.

“I was attempting to maintain professionalism with my new assistant, some of us have to maintain a sense of decorum.” Ford looked at Y/n, he didn’t want her to feel like she was not welcomed from their brotherly bantering, but she was already staring up at him from her stance. “You can also call me Ford if you’d like, I do know we will be spending a lot of time together over the next few months.” She nodded at that and looked between the two brothers. She couldn't help but think they were handsome when the two of them were towering over her like this,  laughing and bantering with each other. Stanley snorted in response to Ford, before she could speak. 

“Ha! Decorum, that's just your fancy word for being stuck up, if you loosen up a bit Y/n might actually take a liking to you.” Stanley jabbed Ford with his elbow in his ribs as he said it and turned to her while looking her up and down now, and she felt like she was put in the hot seat from his gaze raking up and down her body as she leaned against the door to her car. Her face was still slightly red from the last comment he had made, but she didn't falter as she regained some composure. She said nonchalantly to Ford’s twin, “I would love to take that tour if you're still offering, I just have to grab some of my things.”She smirked back at Stanley’s gaze on hers as she turned to walk towards the trunk of her car, popping it open with her keys. She pulled out two large suitcases that looked like they were about ready to burst open, the two men looked towards her things and then waved her towards the shack not mentioning the state her luggage was in.

The trio walked up the steps of the porch as Y/n and Stanley locked their cars almost in unison, they looked at each other and laughed together at the uniform way the cars beeped together. Ford turned over his shoulder and saw Y/n’s beautiful laugh ring out as she looked at Stanley, he couldn't help but feel something pang deep in his chest but he continued onward toward the door ignoring the feeling before she could notice his glance back. They entered the house (shack? cabin? showroom??) and she marveled at all of the large displays that stared right back at her. She was even more confused as they shut the door behind her and flicked the lights on, detailing the displays that were previously shrouded with darkness. As she set her things down by the front door, the large sasquatch model parked in the corner immediately caught her eye and noticed the sign that pointed conveniently between the model sasquatch’s legs and read “Sas-crotch”. She huffed a laugh before looking at Ford, “Does this happen to be the lucrative project we're working on?” gesturing towards the sas-crotch with a grin. 

Ford’s cheeks started to burn a bit at his new assistant’s teasing question, feeling more embarrassed at how his home had now been turned into a tourist trap. He rubbed the back of his neck a little awkwardly before starting, “Ah yes, that is part of Stanley’s… exhibits he curates for tourists to come visit during the day. This room and two others are the only rooms where people could be walking through, and it’s separated from the rest of the house. Let me show you to your room.” He walked through the back door of the showroom as she lugged her two heavy suitcases through the room and down the hallway they entered. Stanley stayed behind, muttering something under his breath about not including him on the tour and making fun of his work. Even though she admired all of the strange things in the front room as they walked through, she marveled at the assortment of displays. They continued farther into the house, it became more evident that she was walking into a home as the freaky displays were left in the front showroom. Down the hall now, pictures hung on the wall of family members and the two brother’s, she quickly passed them following Ford, but made a note to look further into them later following Ford as he continued down the hall. 

He had led her into the kitchen, and Ford had made a point in his mind beforehand to make sure to show her where the coffee machine was. He couldn't help but note that she drank just about as much coffee as him (if not more), and he also made an additional mental note to buy extra coffee grounds the next time they went to the store. “Here is where the fuel is,” Ford said while tapping the top of the coffee maker with his palm. She giggled a little, nodding in agreement “Glad you showed me the night before we begin our work, I might have needed to run to that diner for coffee.” He smiled at her and continued on their small tour of the house, she was still awkwardly rolling the luggage through all parts of the house. 

The pair continued down another hall and up a small flight of stairs until they were stopped in front of a door, he pushed it open and what revealed was a storage closet with a deflated air mattress in one corner. The room couldn’t have been more than eight feet across, and in the opposite corner of the small bed was a desk and chair. The chair contained some folded sheets, blankets, and towels, but otherwise the room looked like nobody had been in it for a long time. There was one window above the bed that was paneled with various geometric shapes, the light in the room showed some light cobwebs in the corners. As Y/n entered the room with her luggage, Ford moved in the hall flicking on more lights in the house letting her get settled in the small room. 

“The bathroom is just across the hall for when you need it, whenever you're settled in tomorrow I can show you more of the house and where we will be working.” Ford approached, leaning on the open door frame of the storage closet/bedroom looking at the way she was taking in the room, and beginning to open up the too-filled luggage. As she knelt in front of the two suitcases on the floor unzipping them she said “I appreciate that, I always forget how tired driving makes me and this town really is in the middle of nowhere.” Y/n turned her head and looked up at Ford with a smile, taking in the sight before her. His hair seemed run through with his hands and his turtle neck sleeves were bunched up around his elbows showing off his broad forearms. She was trying her best not to ogle him, but he wasn’t responding to her statement and just looking right back at her. Their gazes met each other for a few seconds, both just staring at each other through the silence, before Ford realized it was his turn to speak. He cleared his throat as his cheeks dusted pink and brought his hand behind his neck to rub it again, “Y-yes, I’m sure you're tired after a long day today, we'll meet together tomorrow to get started on everything” He turned to walk down the stairs before Y/n gave a half shouted “Wait!”. He stopped and walked the two paces back to the door, where Y/n was standing now in the room. 

“T-thank you Ford, I appreciate you getting me set up here and showing me around, especially that coffee machine.” She suddenly felt a little awkward stopping him just so she could stutter out a thanks, her face grew warm and the pit of her stomach seemed to fill her nerves with anxiety. Ford looked at Y/n again, drinking in her beauty as she was standing there thanking him. He could barely register her words before he smiled again at her, taking one last discreet view of her full body since she was now standing, he nodded. “Of course, I’m hoping we'll be able to make further progress than I have made, now with your help.” At that, he walked from the doorway feeling his sweaty hands finally begin to make their way to just being clammy, once he was half way down the stairs away from her. Once she was left in the room alone with Ford’s footsteps thudding down the stairs towards the kitchen, she let out a breath of air she didn’t realize she had been holding. Turning back to continue unpacking a little bit, grabbing some items for a shower she desperately needed to clear her impure thoughts of the man that just stood in her doorway. 

Downstairs, Ford was deep in thought on why his body was reacting this way as he headed back to the kitchen, leaving Y/n to finish getting settled for the night. He understood that yes, his assistant just so happened to be absolutely stunning, but what he couldn’t understand is that although the interview had opened her up a bit more to him, how could he still be nervous at this point? The two of them had shared several hours together at the diner talking about work and studies, they both had many similar interests and passions for learning and he felt that she was almost too perfect for this situation. As his mind fell deeper and deeper into overthinking the whole situation at hand, Stanley walked into the kitchen to see Ford braced over the counter, his six fingered hands gripping onto the lip of the counter as if it was the only thing tethering him to reality. Stanley cleared his throat and Ford jumped slightly before turning around to face his brother, his mind previously occupied with thoughts of his new assistant. Ford’s face was a bit flushed as he looked at Stan full on now either from his thoughts previously or because Stan had now scared two different scientists within the same day. 

Stanley immediately noticed the flush spread on Ford’s nose and cheeks, if he had no context of what had been happening he would have figured he just scared his twin. Alas, Stanley knew better than to assume he was flustered because he walked into the kitchen and scared him a bit, he knew that something had just happened while the two were touring the house. The shower upstairs distantly turned on, letting both men in the kitchen know you were now completely out of earshot, a shit eating grin pulled on Stan’s lips. Ford preemptively shook his head in disagreement before Stan had even begun speaking, which caused Stan to laugh. 

“I knew I shoulda’ kept her resume from you” He laughed again looking at Ford’s now raised eyebrows at his claim, before continuing, “What? I figured you would be able to maintain, hm, what word did you use earlier? ‘Decorum’ what a load of shit, have you seen her? What happened up there to make you turn this red?”. It had been a long time since Stanley had seen his brother flustered at all, let alone because of an attractive person. That last thought to himself left him feeling a twinge of sadness in his chest. His brother had been gone for so long and had barely had any time to experience a meaningful romantic relationship, at least that he was aware of. Not that Stan wasn't checking out the new assistant earlier by the cars, and he may have been a little charmed at their unison car locking. However Stan wasn't stupid, he had certainly noticed the glances Y/n stole from his twin in the short time the three of them were together. She would look at his jaw or his hands for just a second too long, a second too long for Stan to notice the little hints before Y/n and Ford left to tour the rest of the house without him. 

“Absolutely nothing happened Stanley, I showed Y/n to her room and that was it. She mentioned that she was tired, so I politely took my leave. I am not sure what you are insinuating here Stanley, but whatever it is, it isn’t happening.” Ford’s poker face regarding his heart, definitely needed work, his blush deepened in his cheeks and his eyes couldn’t meet his twins’. Ford seemed to look at anything in the kitchen other than his brother’s incredulous stare, he began organizing the pile of papers on the kitchen table as he almost waited for Stan’s rebuttal. 

Stanley almost laughed at Ford’s feeble attempts at playing stupid, but he figured he wouldn’t pry on Ford especially with how he looked when he walked into the kitchen, as if he was in the middle of solving the world’s hardest equation. “If you wanna leave it at that, then I won’t make you talk” Stanley turned to leave Ford once again, figuring it was time to hit the hay anyways. He mumbled a goodnight to Ford before heading towards his own room, Ford could barely share the same pleasantries before registering Stanley had in fact not broached further on the subject of his new assistant. Ford was quickly left alone with his thoughts again in the empty kitchen, hearing the water trickle in the distant shower upstairs reminding him once again of the time that was yet to be spent together in the lab. 

He stood in the kitchen for a moment thinking over how Stanley had entirely dropped the teasing conversation, and frankly, it seemed like Stanley knew what he was doing by deliberately not asking. Ford groaned at the thought, bringing his hand up to his face to rub the bridge of his nose under his glasses in slight annoyance. He realized it wasn't far out from when everyone typically goes to bed, so he began to head for the basement when he stopped in his tracks when the distant running water stopped in the shower upstairs. Ford’s mind raced for a moment, running through the different courses of action. Should he head upstairs to make sure that you are all settled for the night, or should he continue to the basement for the night letting her get settled in by herself? He was almost paralyzed in thought as his heart continued to beat faster than before in his chest. 

Ford made his decision as he heard the bathroom door distantly open, as he pulled the vending machine door into its hinges and shut it closed behind him. 

---------

[br1ghtestlight]

getting war flashbacks to the bobs burgers fanfic where louise is doing math homework in the restaurant when nobody else is around and then bob has a heart attack </3 that shit was TRAUMATIZING

love linda shouting four whenever there's a math problem or anything related to numbers. best recurring joke. FOUR!!!!

you can do it gene :D also im so bad at math I 100% would not be able to help either. dumbass rep family

bob trying to help gene with his homework is cute. even if he is Not very good at it. he wants to be an involved dad :(

gene im not gonna lie that math question has gotta be fucking with you. rhat is not a real question. i could NEVER do that not if i was given 100 hours that shit is fake

see this is where when I was in math class i would just write a random number and move on bcuz im never gonna figure it out anyway im not gonna waste time. so that's my advice gene. just Give Up

he says "maybe your mom or tina could get you started" because they're older but I genuinely think louise has a better chance of helping bcuz she is so smart. if she'd WANT to help is another question entirely

because I'm stuck in a safe 😐

AND THEN HE BLINDFOLDED ME ON THE WAY HERE??? HE BLINDFOLDED YOU??????

teddy I think his guy is gonna murder you im gonna be so real right now

unfortunately im kinda following teddy's logic now like. it isnt like fischoeder isn't doing this type of shit everyday just for fun. rich guys are just like that BUT getting their money is nice

"gene was doing homework?? that's new"

WE'RE NOT ALL ECONOMICALLY COMFORTABLE LIKE YOU ARE

"Why did you tell me the whole long story about the sandwich in the drawer if you're running out of battery LOCKED IN A SAFE??" "Context!!!!"

also bob and teddy have such great comedic chemistry lmao they bounce off each other so naturally

louise isn't lying she Does have a certain set of skills 😭 if anyone could find him it WOULD be her the lockpicking genius nine year old supervillain

miss you. see you soon. gotta go!!

has he gotten a new cellphone since that MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND YOUR PHONE IS AT 23% argument or is it that same shitty 2008 blackberry phone that dies almost immediately lmfao

bob is a real one for doing this bullshit for teddy he did NOT have to. they're ride or die fr

I'm not entirely unconvinced that gerald isnt a serial killer but thats okay <3 men can have hobbies

also I'm choosing to believe this gerald is the same one from the taxes/weed cookie episode even though it ABSOLUTELY is not bcuz i think that would be funny. by day he's a regular tax agent by night he is a creepy rich kidnapper who pulls mind games on all his handymen

OH I FORGOT THE SUBPLOT FOR THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT SPORTS PEOPLE why did they do the whole thing with gene's homework then.... are they connected. what is the gameplan

WE PICK A NEW LOVER FOR MOM

i love how bob is apparently the only thing keeping his family from going completely off the fucking rails like. he's the only thing standing between his family and their restaurant burning down with everyone inside fr

your dad never loved that dream :/ because he's a hater :/ AND SO JEALOUS :/

you're not gonna break the world record. another hater. STOP THAT

I might be having a panic attack 💔 I CANT TELL BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE OR IM ALWAYS HAVING ONE soo real teddy

WE LOST HIM 😭😭💔

aww I love them all wearing their lil aprons <3 (crappy photo of my tablet bcuz the app im using to watch this episode doesn't allow screenshots)

SAY SOMETHING SMART LIKE UHH HOW WOULD YOU FLIP A GIANT BURGER. OH GOD THEY DIDNT MAKE THE GIANT BURGER DID THEY. WHO WOULD EVEN AGREE TO EAT THAT. AN OVER FOURTY CO-ED BASKETBALL TEAM. REALLY 😯

sorry this episode has so many good ooc quotes FJDMDJSKSKKM

gene STOP calling him father

bob is being like a whole ass detective meanwhile linda and the kids are currently making The Worst Decisions Ever

h jon benjiman is doing such a good job voicing bob in this episode idk it has so much personality and sounds natural. or it's always like this and im just now appreciating it but either way A+ work

cute bob and teddy moment ❤️❤️

(ignore the awful camera quality. nothing I can do there) also love the fact that teddy can easily lift up and manhandle bob. Good to know

there's so much going on w/ this gerald guy I dont even know WHERE to begin. what a guy. wow

this is so cute and sweet im so happy!!! YOU DOUBLE FAKE WALLED HIM :D YOU SMART SMARTIE. YOURE A GENIUS BOB

"I knew I asked the right person to come help me. Yeah. Mort wouldn't answer."

"What? You called Mort first?"

"No..."

HE ASKED MORT???? LMFAO big win for tedmort shippers. I fucking guess

MORT NEVER DOUBLE FAKE WALLED ANYONE why is bob like genuinely jealous of mort and teddy right now 😭 chill out man you've got a wife at home

"let's just say it's twelve" FINALLY bob follows my very smart advice when it comes to math homework smh

ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM EATING BOBS BURGERS FOR DINNER OR IN GENERAL!!! I mean it's a giant hamburger loaf but it technically was served at bob's burgers so it counts

GIANT FRENCH FRIES

aww this episode was so fun and cute!! I love the more adventure-y type episodes where they explore a new location so this episode was great and very stressful lmao. also very funny. I love bob and teddy's dynamic/back and forth throughout the episode and the weird mort mention at the end felt like they were soft launching his and teddy's relationship even though I KNOW they aren't actually. mort could replace kathleen if we believe. very solid 8/10 episode :)

[revlyncox]

Crowded Table: Gratitude and Invitation

In this pre-Thanksgiving homily, the complexity of this moment and the practice of gratitude are both honored. We consider the practical implications of the saying, "when you have more than enough, build a longer table instead of a wall." Rev. Lyn Cox delivered this homily to The Unitarian Society in East Brunswick on November 24, 2024.

My grandparents’ kitchen was the heart of their house. Though it was a little drafty with a window looking out over the hillside and the cow pasture, and the entrance to the mudroom right between the stove and the washing machine, I remember it as being warm from the woodstove and from whatever was cooking. The table in the middle was big enough for the extended family for most of my growing up: two grandparents, three sets of aunts and uncles and cousins, my parents and brothers and myself. I’m not sure how that worked, the math does not seem to add up with what I know about the square footage in that kitchen, but I remember the feeling of being surrounded by love. It was a crowded table. 

That kitchen was a place of acceptance. After the disaster, after losing the job, after the divorce, after the car accident, we came back to that table at the next holiday and sat down to pass the bread and butter once again. My grandfather didn’t say very much. He had a hug for the girls and a handshake for the boys; mostly he sat and listened. My grandmother knew everyone’s story and made sure we were kept up-to-date on the family news. All of her storytelling was in the service of connection, never grudges or cutoffs or putting others down. We brought our brokenness to the table, were strengthened, and were sent forth again with sandwiches for the journey. 

If I can be real with you, I have had a lot of experiences in my life of not belonging. Maybe most people do. I know there are some who never feel like they can have or trust an experience of acceptance. I do not take for granted that I was able to have that formative memory. What I take from that early lesson is a mission to strengthen communities of meaning and purpose. 

To me, this is what abundance is. A gathering of energy and support, a learning ground for ethics and values where mistakes are opportunities for growth, a group of people who are committed to solving problems together, a place where the door is open for newcomers who want to join in that commitment. When there is secure food, housing, and healthcare, we give thanks for that, and we seek ways to share what we have. When one of us is short on one of those things, we find a way forward together. May each and every soul connect with the abundance of interdependence. 

We’re told that this is a time of year to give thanks. I know that, for many of us, our fears and our deficits loom large, and it can be hard to access gratitude. There are valid reasons to be concerned about our loved ones and our future. I hope that we can hold those worries alongside our gratitude and our awareness of the present moment. Perhaps our concerns, even our frustrations, are evidence that we have something worth fighting for, even if it’s a dream not yet realized. Perhaps our fears for our friends and family or our grief for those we have lost points to the love we have in our hearts. That doesn’t negate the grief or fear or anger; rather, we recognize that those feelings have the companionship of love, gratitude, and determination. 

This week, I’ll continue putting the garden to bed now that we’ve had our first frost. I’ll cut back the vines of the warm season crops to give more light to the beets and the chard. I’ll take stock of the cherry tomatoes that I harvested ahead of the frost while they were still green, watching them carefully for signs of ripening in their cozy cardboard box. I’ll gather up dry leaves for the compost bin and gather in my potted plants. My sadness at the end of the season, my chagrin at all that was left undone, my concerns about what future growing seasons will look like all take refuge in my heart alongside my deep gratitude for the abundance of oxygen and color and hospitality for pollinators that the warm season provided. I am grateful that I could spend time with my hands in the dirt. I am grateful that I could bring fresh food to people I love. I am grateful for conversations with neighbors that would not have happened if I had not been outdoors. All of it lives together, the worry and the gratitude and the love. 

And so, as cliché as it is, let us go ahead and give thanks. Let us be grateful for the dream of what might be, for the people who share our values and who work to put them into practice, and for the present moment that gives us the chance to experience all the richness and fullness of this world. In cherishing that abundance, let it move us to actively inviting others to participate in abundance with us. 

We are freshly aware of the importance of finding allies and companions on the path of justice, equity, and compassion. It is incumbent on us to make room at the tables in our lives for the people who would share those commitments. This is more than a passive longing, it is a practice of asset mapping, planning, and implementation. The people in this morning’s story had to do more than open the gate. They set up additional tables and made them welcoming with a tablecloth and dishes. They rearranged themselves to make room. They shared what they had, and they accepted the gifts of the newcomers. If we are to follow that example, what does that mean in practical terms for our congregation, our neighborhoods, and our public life? How do we extend the invitation to abundance? 

We will continue to explore the practice of invitation in the months to come, and we don’t have much time today, so I want to briefly mention some things that are already happening: work toward accessibility, making space for Transgender people, and opportunities to be neighborly to new arrivals in this country. 

First, let’s give thanks for the spirit of accessibility that is sweeping this congregation. The new temporary ramp in the sanctuary is a visible example. The Board is considering bids for improving the railing to the ramp outside the building, lighting in the parking lot and on the exterior stairs, and assistive listening devices. The rearrangement of the front of the sanctuary to comply with fire codes will make all of us safer in case of an emergency, recognizing that people with mobility concerns most urgently need to be considered in our emergency preparedness. There is more we can do, and I hope this momentum continues in the spirit of lavish hospitality and truly inclusive welcome. 

Second, we know that Transgender, nonbinary, gender non-conforming, intersex, and other gender-diverse people are under extreme threat in this country and all over the world. We need communities like this one to welcome us, be in solidarity with us, give us space for our needs and our gifts, and be open to transformation in the service of justice and kindness. It matters that this congregation updated your restrooms to be inclusive. It matters that you normalized sharing pronouns in introductions and nametags. It matters that you display your LGBTQ pride in signage and social media. In addition to the Trans and nonbinary and gender diverse people attending as members and friends, I know there are extremely proud parents of Trans and nonbinary people in this congregation. 

There is more to do. The work of unlearning gender essentialism and internalized transphobia is lifelong, even for those of us who are Trans and nonbinary. Legislative attacks are increasing, and this congregation’s active response would communicate sincerity in your welcome. We can explore some of this in our four-session study group this winter, when we’ll be reading Authentic Selves: Celebrating Trans and Nonbinary People and Their Families every other Wednesday in January and February. 

Third, our commitment to welcome new neighbors who are immigrants, refugees, and asylum seekers matters. This congregation raised money for the I-RISE walk, and the congregation is currently renting the parsonage to a newly arrived family through I-RISE’s Affordable Housing Corporation. I-RISE is Interfaith Refugee and Immigrant Services and Empowerment, a coalition of which we are a part that operates a network of services at four centers in New Jersey. At the I-RISE community meeting this past week, Pastor Seth Kaper-Dale said that the outgoing federal administration is fast-tracking services to refugees to try to help them secure legal status before mid-January. I-RISE expects to serve 400 new arrivals in the next month and a half, which is half of the total number of newcomers they expected to serve in 2025. This will be a sprint, after which I-RISE will return to long-term strategies to help our new neighbors to make their home in New Jersey. 

During this sprint, there are many opportunities to connect with I-RISE. If you own an AirB&B unit that you can reserve short term for refugees, or a ground-level storage unit that can hold incoming donations of furniture, they want to hear from you. Students home for holiday breaks can find short-term employment picking up families from the airport and performing other tasks. Volunteers who are good at filling out forms and being patient will be needed at paperwork clinics for clients who will be self-filing asylum claims. As always, they need warm coats, as many of our new neighbors are arriving with very little from places that are warmer than New Jersey. As Pastor Seth says, immigrants are a blessing, not a burden. Welcoming the stranger is a fundamental ethical principle in many spiritual traditions, including Unitarian Universalism. 

There are other ways this congregation is building a longer table. Your work in dismantling racism and white supremacy is ongoing, and there is more to do. Members have put a great deal of commitment into welcoming families with children, and we can keep going on that path. The investments you made into technology and multi-platform worship continue to bear fruit, making worship accessible to people near and far. The spiritual practice of invitation is calling us onward. 

May we find reasons for gratitude in this season of change and preparation. May the abundance in our lives overflow into practices that put hospitality and inclusion into action. May we all be blessed in our pluralism, our interdependence, and our generosity. 

So be it. Blessed be. Amen. 

[heartbash]

get to know your moots

thank you @loubetcha!

what’s the origin of your blog title? It's an anagram of a username I had on an ancient XF forum.

otp(s) + shipname(s): Mulder/Scully (MSR), Rebecca/Nathaniel (Rethaniel)

favorite color: Red

favorite game: Outer Wilds, The Last of Us, Zelda: Breath of the Wild, It Takes Two, Super Mario World, Mario Kart

song stuck in your head: Clearest Blue by CHVRCHES

weirdest habit/trait? I love following directions. I create "systems" for everything in my life. It's a sickness.

hobbies: Playing clarinet, reading, writing, playing video games, cooking, paint-by-number

if you work, what’s your profession? I'm currently unemployed (long story), but my career is in corporate finance (FP&A).

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Musician in the Chicago Symphony Orchestra

something you’re good at: My job, playing the clarinet, writing in character (I hope), logic puzzles

something you’re bad at: Accepting/seeking help

something you love: My nieces (ages 1.5 and almost 3), media where you need a deep dive analysis and timeline to understand what the hell is happening (Lost, Dark, Severance, Primer, Infinite Jest, House of Leaves, etc.)

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Outer Wilds, Mulder and Scully's relationship, personal finance, my nieces

something you hate: The dentist, honestly going to any doctor

something you collect: Anxieties

something you forget: Why I came into this room, where my AirPods are

what’s your love language? Quality time

favorite movie/show: When Harry Met Sally, The X-Files, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Dark, Severance, Hamilton, Waitress

favorite food: Soup dumplings, ramen, panang curry, okonomiyaki, Brussels sprouts, fried chicken sandwiches (realizing this is a very strange list)

favorite animal: Birds

what were you like as a child? Shy, independent

favorite subject at school? Math, music, English

least favorite subject? Geography, history

what’s your best character trait? I'm disciplined, reliable, funny, analytical, and honest.

what’s your worst character trait? I care too much about what other people think, and I care too much about being "right" (both of which I'm working on).

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? The temperature! It's been too damn cold here.

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet? My great-aunt Fritzie. She passed before I was born, but from what I've heard about her, I think we would connect.

recommend one of your favorite fanfics: you're my lovely queen, i'm your dirty king by @justwanted2dance

tags if you feel so inclined! @pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace @justwanted2dance @eyesontheskyline

[daisychainsandbowties]

Actually, since it comes up pretty often in your fics, have you read any good books about space? Any recommendations? I'm always looking for something new to read 😅

my love of space is a wikipedia boyfriend activity so i haven’t read many books about it, at all - literally just carl sagan’s cosmos. i don’t tend to read books to learn about topics as broad as space, math, etc. i just read academic journals and ping-pong around the internet and stare at whatever seems most interesting.

so yeah, i subscribe to slightly-deranged face-tennis as a learning methodology (let’s be nice to me and call it autodidactic). mostly following vectors of curiosity aka “wikipedia” rabbit wormholes. (i was going to try make a chussy joke using knowledge but knussy was taking too long to explain, so have my deconstructed sandwich of a joke instead) i mostly just use wikis to find where topics are connected and then i hunt for other resources

i have some favourite places to seek general info (any deeper and i use library databases to find journals and specific articles) but i’ll share one or two of my accessible sources in case those are helpful!

nasa has an incredible archive of astronomy and astrophysics information and !!!! sexier 😳😳 photography. check out their archive here. each photo has some information accompanying it and i tend to just read one every day or sometimes revisit my favourites.

if you look on university websites they usually have some chapters/ articles/ resources (sometimes even class notes!) you can look at for free. here’s an example even with no logins/ institutional access you can read a lot of stuff if you dig around

this is a good site for short papers that are intended to be accessible to undergrad students

also i recommend that you explore astrobiology in general - fascinating topic!!

i won’t add any more since you were asking for books and yeah… basically i prefer documentaries for that style of dissemination, but i know there are lots of great ones out there… just not the way i learn about things - attention too scattershot to comfortably sit and learn in the shape/ at the rate an author wants me too - so i can’t think of any i can recommend from personal preference

[thelampisaflashlight]

(disclaimer: i am telling you this because i think there's a chance you might find it mildly entertaining, pls feel free to ignore it)

I haven't been reading EGO because I know it'll upset me too much (the criteria for what kind of angst will upset me is. unpredictable.) but I keep seeing the little side posts you make and going ".... What the heck is going on in there (affectionate but perplexed)"

and I just read the new post about Lamb and Jeremy and the part about Jeremy's bodily fuilds glowing, and it was like a thousand puzzle pieces suddenly connected in one blinding flash of realization, like the spiritual opposite of the lady with the algebra flying around her head except instead of triangles and math it's the phrase 'highlighter dick', and I exclaimed, out loud to myself in my empty house, "Wait, did Swiss do the do with Lamb??????"

He absolutely did, and, yeah, yeah it actually was a plot point lmao

Also completely understandable on the not reading the EGO series, it's primarily angst centered around interpersonal/general relationship issues and it gets a bit heavy.

I am, however, working on another series (which I have to draft out) that's going to be friends to lovers, and, as decided through the power of consulting Comet, it's going to be of the SwissRainDrop variety.

But going back to Lamb and Swiss (a very odd sandwich that), I was like, "Swiss is too curious for his own good." and after writing A Nightlight For Your Pride, I was like, "Yeah, he's into it."

Something, something, "Look at the man I pulled by being a sentient glowstick."

[patrickpattersxn]

Task Eleven → Intro & Connections

Patrick Patterson

Character Information*

The Basics*

FULL NAME: patrick patterson

NICKNAME: n/a

GENDER: male

PRONOUNS: he/him

AGE: twenty-eight

OCCUPATION: bartender @ mount olympus member of hayden bodaways mob, third in command

FACECLAIM: paul mescal

ORIENTATION: straight

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single

PETS: none - he can barely look after himself

The Personality*

+ Loyal, Efficient, Obedient - Anxious, Short-Tempered, Mischievous

patrick is someone that can’t hide his emotions. It became a running joke that he could only feel one emotion at a time since whatever emotion he felt seemed to completely overwhelm him. he’s not the most intelligent person, in fact, in his own opinion his brother got all the good genes and all the leftover ones were left for him. he’s tall and has a default facial expression that can be daunting and intimidating to others but he is a big softie on the inside. patrick is awkward and incredibly anxious about a lot of things and that is a main factor to why he  prefers to stay in the background, leaving his brother to take the lead out of them both.

patrick is a dumb dumb. he’s not great at identifying what people need in terms of care but he tries his best and that really shows. he only tries when he’s around people he cares about. patrick is selective of who he cares about, he’s been burned before. he keeps his circle small to his family/extended family. if someone’s in need and it’s an emergency, it’s probably not patrick you want to call for.

Additional Notes*

hates technology

there’s a running scoreboard in mount olympus of ‘patrick vs technology’ the technology is winning by a long mile

sandwich enthusiast - basically lives off them

clumsy af 

he’s. kinda. just. there. like a stray cat. or a big plant.

Random Quirks*

known for spraying people with the water hose in the bar if they’re annoying him 

a genius at maths but can’t articulate his thoughts for shit

banned from yoga class because mrs hasagawa said that she’s seem more grace in a piece of wet spaghetti

Wanted Connections*

friends

neighbours

work colleagues - @henrikhera @ritasaysrelax @paxtonpatterson

ex’s - ended on good or bad terms, lingering feelings, on again & off again

lovers

childhood friends - since hayden took him in

will they, won’t they

first love

Wanted Plots / Plot Ideas*

fake girlfriend because I saw what lengths my mum went to to set up my brother and i don’t want that to happen to me. it started out as a joke. patrick invited muse b to one of their family’s formal dinner parties to get their relatives off of their case. so many business opportunities to talk about, but somehow, a young adult’s love-life was much more interesting. muse b agreed to it, having grown up in a much poorer setting, just to see what it was like. the first party that they attended together, muse a found much more interesting than any had ever before, all of the attention taken off from them. muse b found it to as amazing as they imagined. they fit in naturally in the setting, creating avid conversation with all around. after that, a pact was made. patrick and muse b would be formal dates to these parties in each event. but what happens when an act begins to slip into reality?

romeo & juliet (mob version) - they’re involved in the mob on opposing sides. they meet on a mission or are sent to wipe the other out, safe to say that doesn’t happen. they sneak around to avoid being caught, drama and angst ensues

Taken Connections*

parental figures - @haydenbodaway and @itspersephxne - hayden took patrick and paxton in when they were kids & saved patricks life. the patterson brothers seen hayden as their dad since then and hayden eventually adopted them officially. persephone came into their lives when she met hayden and they struck up a relationship. she’s kind, sweet and has a lot of motherly tendencies - especially when looking out for patrick who is the younger of the pattersons. persephone has become a mother figure to the pattersons and patrick has no doubt that it’s only a matter of time until it’s official, expecially with hayden and persephone now expecting twins.

boss - @haydenbodaway - when patrick first met hayden properly he know there and then what the phrase ‘fear of god’ really meant. despite being his dad, hayden checks that title at the door and when they’re in a workplace environment, it’s strictly boss and employee in both bar and mob. the mob is a secret in town and patrick is third in command after hayden and paxton. he knows hayden is prepping paxton to take over the mob one day and patrick is relieved that he doesn’t have to deal with that responsibility.

brother - @paxtonpatterson - patrick’s big brother. the boys lost their parents when they were young and they have been fending for themselves ever since. his brother is the only one that he feels like he can rely on and as the younger of the two brothers, patrick looks up to paxton and admires his brother massively. paxton can do no wrong in patrick’s eyes and patrick follows him blindly into whatever situation his brother gets involved in. He truly believes that his brother knows what’s best for them.

ex - @sweetellafontaine - ella and patricks relationship has become a complicated one. ella is hayden’s goddaughter. patrick and ella were good friends and patrick looked out for ella, eventually ella had confessed feelings for him and after what felt like forever he finally opened up and confessed the same. it wasn’t long after that things had fallen apart, he had fallen out of favour and they split up. patrick took this hard as ella had encouraged him to open up. it was the first time he had really opened up to someone only for them to decide it wasn’t for them. it was a harsh blow. he knows it’s not ella’s fault, but it’s hard to not feel a sting at that. 

brother’s girlfriend whatever the hell is going on - @themanagerisavampirex - and patrick thought he was the stupid one. jesus christ. watching nani and paxton skate around their obvious feelings has patrick wanting to scream. no only is it a harsh reminder he’s likely to be forever alone, but it’s the first time he’s seen his brother genuinely happy. paxton was always so angry and deliberatly drows himself in a sea of work (both the bar and mob) but nani has managed to pull him up for air. patrick honest to god likes seeing his brother happy, he forgot what his brothers laugh sounded like until nani came along. he’s just worried about how nani will react when paxton tells her other work/not bar related news. 

roommate - @ritasaysrelax - patrick still isn’t sure how he and rita became roommates, but he’s not questioning it. she’s a good friend of his and he likes the company around the place. the two often do activities together in the house like reading, watching movies etc 

cousin - @henrikhera - sunspot. hayden dislikes henrik because he’s his brother’s son but patrick doesn’t mind the guy. he thinks it’s cool that henrik stood up to his parents and started dating @magicalterencegold even thought he knew how they would react. he respects henrik for that. 

uncle - @aresolympia - hayden’s brother & patricks uncle. he’s actually pretty concerned for his uncles eyesight but knows ares and hayden have the money for the best doctors money can buy. he was recently at ares and gaspards wedding, he had a great time at that and is glad his uncle found someone. 

she’s pretty and scary - @imattractedtopower - she came into the bar, asked for a wine and patrick made a fool of himself. 

[spacefinch]

Magic School Bus incorrect quotes

Carlos: Hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water.

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Carlos: My cereal is loud and it’s demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and god so thoughtlessly.

Phoebe: How does it taste?

Carlos: Bad.

Dorothy Ann: The fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting into CO2 and H2O over time. And carbonic acid is— as an acid— sour. By adding milk to sour water, you’ve created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I’ll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is not great.

Carlos: I have mastered the potion “Instant Spoiled Milk” earning me the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.

Ralphie: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks!

Keesha: Why would I do that?

Ralphie: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

Izzy (my OC): So basically I

Mikey: rimce 🍚

Izzy: Does nothing matter to you?

Mikey: rimce 🍚

Phoebe: She was poetry, he couldn’t read

Ralphie: his name was jarred, he’s nineteen

Carlos: When his parents built a very strange machine

Dorothy Ann: Watch that scene dig in the dancing queen

Tim: Eyyyyy Macarena

Keesha: Horrible job everyone

Phoebe: My talent is identifying birds.

Wanda: Okay, what’s this one?

Phoebe: Yep. It’s definitely a bird.

Carlos: Have you heard of Murphy’s law?

Phoebe: Yep

Carlos: Have you heard of Cole’s law?

Phoebe: I haven’t

Carlos: It is thinly sliced cabbage

Phoebe: How dare you

Carlos: “The Walking Dad” but it’s just a guy walking around the house turning off lights and muttering that he’s “not made of money.”

Mr. Ramon: CARLOS!! You left your bedroom light on again! I told you, I’m not made of money!

Phoebe: Why does anyone try to fight a goose?

Tim: Sometimes the goose gives you no option.

Tim: 🎵 The head bone’s connected to the neck bone🎵

Keesha: 🎵The neck bone’s connected to the neck bone

Carlos: 🎵 The neck bone’s connected to the neck bone

Dorothy Ann: There are seven cervical vertebrae

Ralphie: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Keesha: Why are you guys reblogging this in December?

Phoebe: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Wanda: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Keesha: It is February, you ANIMALS

Carlos: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Mikey: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Carlos: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Arnold: Being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also the horrors.

Carlos: Not all math puns are bad.

Carlos: Just sum of them.

Mikey: Dad, what’s for dinner?

Carlos: Dad, we’re hungry!

Izzy: Dad, what’s for dinner?

Carlos: Dad, we’re HUNGRY!

Mr. Ramon, trying to cook: *screams*

Carlos: Party time!

Carlos: *enters room*

Carlos: Eyyyyy! Everybody clap your hands!

Everyone: *clap clap clap clap clap*

Wanda; My DNA test results came back positive. I definitely have DNA.

Tim: Quit bragging.

Carlos: I’m glad to report that Hot Dr. Pepper was a success at my family’s Christmas dinner.

Carlos: Might be because I told everyone it was tea at first, except Mikey, who saw me pouring a bottle of Dr. Pepper into a hot pan and just immediately went “Woah can I have some of that?”

Keesha: *filming*

*camera pans over*

Keesha: Hi!

Arnold: … Okay.

Tim: I swear, the next one of you to say “weird flex, but okay” is going to regret it.

Carlos: …

Phoebe: …

Keesha: …

Dorothy Ann: Preposterous boast, but alas.

Tim: *sigh*

Wanda: If you have knees, you are valid.

Tim: Homophobes have knees, too.

Wanda: Not for long.

Ralphie: What means “I hate you” in dinosaur?

Carlos: No. Dinosaur is the language of love.

[kaileeandag]

Siri’s Collection!

-Meet Outfit (red tie dye shirt,blue bell bottom jeans,and white socks with sneakers) -Meet Accessories (pretend bag of Khaep mu,navy blue floral purse,Winnie The Pooh plush toy,and two $1 bills)

School Collection: -Siri’s School Outfit (white turtleneck shirt,blue jumper,black tights and black mary jane shoes) -Siri’s Lunch Box (Snow White lunch box containing these pretend foods: Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly sandwich,mandarin orange,Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie,and a carton of milk) -Siri’s School Supplies (red Caribou Cricket backpack with these school supplies: 5th grade math textbook,two #2 pencils,black and white notebook,and 5th grade Social Studies textbook) -Siri’s School Picture (she is wearing her School outfit and is behind a background typical of school pictures in the 70′s. Is in a doll sized picture frame)

Christmas Collection: -Siri’s New Pajamas (pink Snoopy nightgown,Snow White I’m Sleepy sleep shirt) -Siri’s Christmas Presents (heart shaped locket with SC initialed on the front,Christie Quick Curl styling head,Growing Up Skipper doll,and Barbie Townhouse) (the locket contains a picture of her sister and a picture of Siri and her parents at Astroland in Brooklyn the previous summer)

Birthday Collection: -Chronicles of Prydain book series (has all of the books in the series) -Growing Up Ginger doll (companion to the Growing Up Skipper that was released in 1976) -Siri’s Birthday Outfit (red patchwork top with blue shorts) -Siri’s Birthday Cake (chocolate cake with chocolate frosting reading Happy 11th Birthday,Siri! on it)

Summer Collection: -Siri’s 4th of July Outfit and Treats (Bicentennial t-shirt and shorts,comes with pretend grape snow cone and pretend can of Pepsi) -America’s 200th Birthday Cake (same cake as the birthday cake,but says Happy 200th Birthday,America! instead and is topped with American flag decals) -Siri’s Swimming Pool (pool is connected to a 1970′s style deck) -Siri’s Bathing Suit and Towel (pink floral one piece bathing suit and Wonder Woman towel)

Winter Collection: -Siri’s Snowy Day Outfit (blue hooded coat and red snow boots) -Siri’s Sled (red sled) -Siri’s Hot Cocoa with Marshmallows (pretend food item,comes in a pink mug)

Bedroom Collection: -Siri’s Nightgown (red nightgown with white trim) -Siri’s Bed and Bedding (twin bed with Winnie The Pooh bedding) -Siri’s Entertainment Center and TV (comes with a non-working doll sized TV) -Siri’s Record Player (can be placed to the right or the left of the TV) -Siri’s Barbie dolls (these dolls are in the set: Malibu Barbie,Malibu Skipper,and Malibu Francie) -Siri’s Live Action Barbie doll (belonged to Kanchana before her death) -Siri’s Records (plays 30 second samples of these songs: Brother Louie by The Stories,I Saw The Light by Todd Rundgren, and Sing by The Carpenters)

Extra Accessories: -Siri’s Framed Picture of Kanchana (picture is of Kanchana sitting in a chair in the house,smiling up at the person taking the picture)

[poem-today]

A poem by Tiana Clark

After the Reading

someone  asked  me  if  my husband  left me,  or if I left him. After the   reading,  someone   asked   me   if   there   was  a   chance  for reconciliation  as  I shoved a  pulled  pork sandwich  in my mouth with  Carolina  Gold BBQ  sauce  oozing  out  the  sides  like  neon yellow  lava.  After  the reading,  someone  asked  me if I still pray to  God  as  I  sipped a  fizzy Diet Coke  and the ice cubes huddled and  softly clinked  around my  upper lip  leaving a wet mustache. After  the  reading,  someone said they had been divorced too and then  scurried away  in a way that I completely  understood. After the  reading,  a  woman told me I was worthy as if I was shattered while   I   picked   up   crudités   with  a   copious  dollop  of  ranch dressing.  After  the  reading,  a  white woman thanked me for my “angry poems.”  I  told  her they were about my joy,  and then she touched  my  forearm  and  said,  “No,  they were about my rage.” Insisting.   After   the  reading,   someone  said   they   cried,   and another  gave me a kind word.  Thank you. After the after,  I went   home and changed into my cheetah print pajamas. I wrapped my hair and  brushed my teeth.  I got in bed and played a  sci-fi show on  my  laptop.  The  actors  on the show were trying to find a way to talk  to aliens by  using  math  and pheromones.  I  googled the height   of  one  of  the   actors.  He  is  6' 4".   I   fell   asleep  while watching   the    show   about    the    people   in   space   trying   to   communicate  in  first  contact,  intergalactic  noises  beeped  and swirled around the room like bees.

Tiana Clark

Copyright © 2023 by Tiana Clark. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on April 13, 2023, by the Academy of American Poets.

Listen to Tiana Clark read her prose poem.

Tiana Clark writes: This prose poem tumbled out of me as anaphora, a way to capture the catalog of interactions that I’ve experienced after readings, which is a particularly tender and vulnerable time for me, especially when I’ve shared new work. The space after a reading can be a wild tangle of joy, connection, anxiety, and awkwardness when confronted with humanity. I’m learning to be more resolute about my own boundaries in the aftercare of art making.

More poems by Tiana Clark are available through her website.

[a-captions-blog]

[Image descriptions: A Tweet thread by don(25) @VvuXian that starts with a Tweet that says: ‘omg...the cutest thing just happened at work it’s like a fic. i’m gonna do a thread, spoiler it’s a love story.’ Full thread transcription follows.

for those who don’t know: i work at the ticket counter for an airline. this older lady (i’m guessing 70) comes to the counter and says she needs some help/has a question and is wondering if i could help. i tell her go ahead she explains that she’s supposed to meet someone coming in on a specific flight (she tells me the flight number) from spain, but the plane laded and hour age and they didn’t show up. she wants to know if that person was on the plane problem is, i’m not allowed to give out that kind of information and i tell her so. she just nods and says that she understands but looks really sad, so i ask her what happened turns out she met another woman on the plane. they flew in from canada on the same plane and sat next to each other but had different connecting flights in spain. the old lady tells me she fell in love with that woman during those 11something hours and they promised to meet here now my gay heart is moved but i’m still not allowed to give her information about passengers. i advice her to maybe have her called outy or if she has her phone number, she can use our phone and call her she says she has already tried calling her but she can’t reach her. she’s ready to give up and she looks really sad, and i’m just as sad as her, but she leaves. i kind of can’t stop thinking about it. but the story isn’t over here one hour later, so just a few minutes ago, another old lady comes to the counter. she is not with me but with my coworker, and i’m in the back and eating. i hear how she says that she needs some help. she’s waiting for someone to arrive from spain. me, in the back: [photo collage of an East Asian person looking confused as maths symbols float by their head] i basically drop my sandwich and go out front to the counter. outside is another older lady, also around 70. i ask her, have you by any chance just arrived from spain? she said yes. i try not to lose it and hastily look through the papers at my computer you see, just before the first lady left, i told her she could leave her number with me, just in case. thank (caps) god (end caps) she did. i call her and when she picks up i say “hi X, there’s someone here at the counter looking for you.” she sounds out of this world excited on the phone and i hand it over so they can talk to each other and the lady at the counter says “hurry, dear, i miss you” when i tell you i almost started (caps) sobbing (end caps) only 10 minutes later, the lady from before is hurrying back to the counter. luckily she hadn’t left the airport. the two of them rush towards each other and hug. it’s like a (caps) movie (end caps) i swear they thanked me about a thousand times for helping them unite and i’m honestly just happy this got a happy ending. they leave eventually, holding hands [three sobbing blob emoji] they came back together, another 5 minutes later, with this as a gift for me (it’s a chocolate bunny) and honestly I am still so over this story. [photo of a Lindt chocolate bunny]. The follow up image is the reaction image showing Snoop Dogg holding a sign that says, ‘This is the Cutest shit Ive ever seen.’ \End descriptions]

Im.. Soft 🥺🥺🥺

cr. 

[whennnow]

A Stash-Busting Toiletry Bag

January 21, 2025

I saw a few toiletry bags on Pinterest right around Christmas, and for some reason that really got my brain going. I suddenly decided that I needed a toiletry bag that would fit all of my travel toiletries perfectly.

Now, this isn't completely out of the blue - after a week-and-a-half-long trip to Germany last spring and a weekend camping trip in the fall it became clear that the second-hand cosmetic bag I was using just wasn't big enough. But how much space would I need?

Inventory of Contents

In order to avoid making the bag too small (which was my current problem) or too large (things would rattle around and get disorganized), I decided to take stock of what I wanted to fit inside the bag.

It's a pretty extensive list. Shampoo, conditioner, dry shampoo, face wash, shower gel, moisturizer, lotion, face sunscreen, toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, mouth wash, deodorant, and a hairbrush. Plus, ideally, a phone charger, spare hair ties and bobby pins, menstrual products, and a lipstick and mascara (thankfully I never wear more makeup than that).

Then, I measured everything. All seven bottles I have are the same width and depth, and there's only about an inch difference in height. The moisturizer and sunscreen are in small tubs/canisters. The deodorant is a full-sized one. The brush was my biggest issue, being irregularly shaped.

I also did some test arrangements to see how things would fit together, and combined that with the measurements to decide the dimensions of my bag.

The Pattern

I opted for a simple rectangular shape inspired by the boxy, quilted cosmetic bags I had seen on Pinterest. I measured out the bottom of the rectangle I wanted and added the sides, tops, and ends, just like all the tutorials showed. I even made a small paper model to scale to make sure my math checked out!

And then I decided to complicate things.

I mean, my toiletries wouldn't be very organized if it was just a free-for-all inside the bag! Nothing would stay in place!

So I decided to add dividers.

[Img ID: A top-down photo of the pouch with both sides folded back to show the center divider, which consists of a small zippered pouch in the center, branching into a "V" of fabric on each end that attaches to the four corners of the larger pouch.]

Now, I can't honestly recall how my brain arrived at this idea, but I ended up with a central divider which is also a zippered pouch. It does not run the full length of the bag, but instead each end splits off into fabric tabs that are sewn into the corner seams. The divider is not connected to the bottom of the bag because I don't think that will be an issue for me.

This leaves me with two long areas along each side of the bag, a triangular area at each end, and a zippered pouch in the middle for small things like hair ties and bobby pins.

Supplies

With my plan firmly in place, it was time to gather my supplies.

I initially intended to grab some quilting cotton from the store, but thankfully remembered that I have a lot of quilting cotton in my stash and that this would be a good stashbusting project!

I found a dark blue floral that I inherited from my grandmother for the outside and a coordinating solid teal of unknown origin for the inside. I even had cotton batting in my stash, some sew-in interfacing, and thread to match the fabric already! I just needed to grab two zippers for the store - a longer one for the outside, and a shorter one for the inner pocket.

Construction

I started out by machine quilting the outside, making a fabric-batting-interfacing sandwich. I drew my seam lines and quilting lines on the interfacing first to act as guides, and when I was done, I cut the batting out of the seam allowances to reduce bulk.

Then, I tackled the inner pocket/divider. I wanted to do this in the same fabric as the lining, but didn't have nearly enough fabric (especially after cutting two pieces the wrong size), so I used more of the outer fabric.

The pocket/divider was made of four rectangles of fabric, used in pairs. Each pair had half of the zipper for the pocket sewn into the top and was sewn normally at the bottom, then was turned right side out, ironed, and topstitched along the top edge.

This left me with two rectangles, partially connected by a zipper. I used top stitching to close the sides and bottom of the pocket part. There were about 3in of fabric left on each end of the fabric, which I topstitched separately at the bottom, allowing them to move freely. I set this divider aside until I constructed the lining.

Next up was the handle. This was very simple, with two long rectangles of fabric and one of interfacing (though two layers of interfacing wouldn't have been a bad thing) sewn up the long sides, turned right side out, and top stitched along the long edges. This got pinned into place on the outer quilted fabric right away so I didn't lose or forget it.

At this point, I had to decide how the whole thing went together. I had a hard time wrapping my head around how to attach the zip and still make sure no seams showed inside the bag. In the end, I decided to make thing simpler for myself by assembling the lining, assembling the outer with the zip, and then just hand sewing the lining inside to the zipper.

So I started with the lining! First, I pressed the zipper seam allowances in, both as a guide for myself later and to keep them out of the way of other seams. Then, the edges of the top (with the zipper space in the middle) and the bottom were sewn together. This is the horizontal seam on each end. I then pinned the loose ends of the divider into the vertical corner seams, and the lining was done!

At this point, I put my toiletries into the lining to make sure my math had been right. I rounded my measurements up, so things were ever so slightly larger than I wanted, but that's okay.

Then, I could move on to assembling the outer.

The zipper was attached first, and I turned that seam allowance in and top stitched along the edge. Seams were sewn in the same order as the lining - top ends to bottom ends to create the horizontal seams on the ends of the bag, then the vertical corner seams. Obviously, there were no divider edges to catch, but I did need to make sure the handle on one end ended up where I wanted it.

After that, there was just hand sewing left!

I turned the quilted outer portion of the bag inside out and tacked the bottoms of the corner seams together to help the lining stay in place. Then, I turned it mostly right side out around the lining and tacked the upper corners together. Finally, I hand sewed the zipper edge of the lining, whose seam allowance I ironed earlier, to the zipper of the outer and was done.

Final Thoughts

I think this toiletry bag turned out super cute! It does indeed fit all of my travel toiletries, plus a phone charger and some small accessories.

My main regret is not putting a fabric tab on one end of the zipper opening. There's nothing for me to hold on to when unzipping the bag, which is mildly annoying, but thankfully doesn't impact the zipper's operation. I'll learn to live with it.

I also kind of wish I had attached the central divider to the bottom of the bag after all, but that sounds complicated. It's not a huge deal but I think it would have kept the bottom of the bag from sagging so much.

On the bright side of things, this project allowed me to de-stash one bit of fabric (the lining). I had to buy zippers, because I don't have any zips in my stash, but I used them both right away. The fabric, batting, interfacing, and thread all came from my stash.

Bonus Bag!

I still had a solid chunk of the outer fabric left, and I decided to turn most of it into a large drawstring bag which can be used as a shoe bag or dirty laundry bag when traveling!

It was a quick project - about half an hour. The bottom of the bag was folded, so I just french seamed the sides and sewed a casing for a drawstring at the top. I used some light blue ribbon from my stash as the drawstring, but it doesn't match well, so it may get a replacement if the opportunity.

There was still a small rectangle left of the fabric, which may go eventually become a sleep mask. Or maybe it'll just go into the hexie box.

Stay warm. Stay safe. Stay healthy.

[tokensbossh]

+50 PCS Marvel Jokes and Humor Super Heroes) Funny

Ah, Marvel fans—get ready to laugh till your cape comes off! Today, we’re venturing into a universe where jokes are just as super-powered as the heroes we idolize. From Iron Man's quippy retorts to Spider-Man's endless puns, Marvel has built an empire not just on action-packed storytelling but also on humor that keeps even the heaviest battles light. So, comic nerds, assemble! We've scoured the multiverse to bring you the finest Marvel-inspired jokes, quips, and puns that'll make any fan cackle like Loki after pulling off a grand mischief. Let’s kick things off with the quintessential star of sass, Tony Stark. Known for his razor-sharp wit and sarcasm, Iron Man is a one-liner machine that even Thor might call ‘worthy.’ Picture this: Iron Man walks into a bar—not because he wants a drink, but because the bar happened to be made of vibranium and was practically invisible. Tony’s response? “Not my brightest moment, but hey, at least it’s unbreakable like my ego!”

+50 PCS Marvel Jokes and Humor Super Heroes) Funny (2)

Marvel JOKES

- What do you call it when Loki plays a trick on Thor? A thor-ough prank. - Why did Spider-Man break up with his girlfriend? She found him too clingy. - What does Thor wear to keep the rain off? His thor-ella! - Why did Tony Stark never get lost? Because he always had his “Iron Directions.” - What’s Black Widow’s least favorite social media? LinkedIn—she’s got enough web connections! - What did Thanos say after he lost? "I guess I’m just half the man I used to be." - Why is Doctor Strange so bad at stand-up comedy? Because his jokes always bomb in alternate realities. - Why did Hulk stop dating? Because he kept getting ghosted. - What is Groot’s favorite hobby? Gardening—it’s all about root maintenance. - What did Captain Marvel bring to the picnic? Her marvelous sandwiches. - How does Spider-Man stay in shape? He’s always doing “whatever a spider can.” - What does Hawkeye do on his day off? He goes to the target store. - What’s Thor’s favorite type of workout? Hammer curls. - Why is Captain America good at making decisions? Because he always has a shield of confidence. - Why did Doctor Strange fail art class? He could never draw a straight line. - How did Thanos start his day? With a balanced breakfast… half snapped away. - Why does Iron Man make a good partner? Because he’s full of heart. - Why did Thor bring his hammer to the party? He didn’t want to get hammered alone. - What is Loki’s favorite kind of math? Division—especially of attention. - What’s Scarlet Witch’s favorite show? Reality TV. - Why did Groot get an award? Because he’s outstanding in his field! - What’s the Avengers’ favorite fast food? Anything marvel-ous and quick. - Why did the Avengers open a bakery? They kneaded the dough. - What’s Captain Marvel’s favorite sport? Space jump rope. - What did Hulk say when he joined the book club? “HULK SMASH—through this book list.” - Why was Black Panther always calm? He had vibranium nerves. - How do the Avengers send letters? Hawkeye-mail. - Why did Thanos open a pet store? For those who love animals but prefer half the responsibility. - What’s Thor’s favorite movie? The Lightning Thief. - Why did Loki get kicked out of school? He always had a trick up his sleeve. - How does Captain America start his workouts? With a shield stretch! - Why did Doctor Strange start a fitness program? To work on his core. - How did Rocket Raccoon pass the test? By a hair. - What’s Thanos’ favorite treat? Snap-dragon cookies. - Why didn’t Captain Marvel lend Iron Man her plane? He was grounded. - What’s Hulk’s favorite holiday? Green Friday. - What did Captain America say to Iron Man at breakfast? “Marvel-ous morning, Tony.” - Why does Spider-Man make a bad salesman? He always sticks to his own side. - Why did the Avengers start a band? They had great composition. - Why does Hulk love gardening? He’s got a real green thumb. - Why did Doctor Strange go back to school? To learn more strange subjects. - Why doesn’t Iron Man get shocked? Because he’s well-grounded. - How does Thor get through difficult days? He hammers his way through! - What’s Ant-Man’s favorite snack? Miniature muffins. - Why did Black Widow go to therapy? Because her life’s been full of webs. - How does Captain Marvel take her coffee? Out of this world! - What’s Loki’s least favorite video game? Fort-night. - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite video game? Web of War. - Why did Iron Man lose his phone? He couldn’t find the signal. - Why does Doctor Strange make a good teacher? He always knows the way through challenging topics.

+50 PCS Marvel Jokes and Humor Super Heroes) Funny (2) - Why did Tony Stark hire a life coach? Because he needed some guidance systems in his personal life. - Why does Thor avoid telling secrets in Asgard? Because there's always a chance of thunderous gossip! - What’s Loki’s favorite type of exercise? Deceptive squats—he loves lowering expectations and then surprising everyone!

+50 PCS Marvel Jokes and Humor Super Heroes) Funny (3) Assuming you let me know you have never seen a Wonder film, I will expect that you are either an outsider from a system far away or are disguising reality. Whether you love Wonder motion pictures, disdain Wonder films, or straightforwardly support DC just to pester your more youthful kin, you have undoubtedly seen somewhere around one MCU portion. The characteristic of Wonder motion pictures is that, dissimilar to independent movies, they make an entire universe. It's as of now not just about the big screen, yet additionally craftsmanship, fanfics, mashups, hybrids, and even hero jokes. Fans have taken jokes for comics to another level, transforming them into their very own specialty. The studio gives a decent part of the chuckles as well. Hidden little goodies in Wonder films can frequently extract a laugh from watchers, and the scholars make a point to remember clever chat for the discoursed too. Whether you favor princess Shuri, who continues to make fun of her sibling T'Challa, or Spiderman's closest companion Ned with his diverting responses, there are a lot of entertaining Wonder characters to look over. And, surprisingly, the ones that should be everything significant will have you multiplied over with a hilarious comment once in a while.

+50 PCS Marvel Jokes and Humor Super Heroes) Funny (1) Read the full article

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A Day in the Life at an Elementary School

Imagine waking up every morning with the excitement of starting a new day filled with learning, laughter, and fun! For many children, this is what their school days are like. From the moment they step through the doors, they enter a world where curiosity thrives and friendships blossom. Let’s take a journey through a typical day at an elementary school to see what makes it so special.

Morning Arrival

The day begins early as students arrive at school, often greeted by the friendly faces of teachers and staff. As the children walk in, they might chat with their friends, share stories about their favorite cartoons, or discuss what they did over the weekend. This morning's buzz sets a positive tone for the day ahead.

In recent years, the landscape of education in the United Arab Emirates has transformed significantly, with an increasing number of families seeking high-quality educational options for their children. An elementary school in Dubai offers a vibrant and multicultural learning environment, reflecting the city's diverse population.

Morning Lessons

As the bell rings, it’s time for the first class of the day! Classes often start with subjects like math or reading. Teachers use fun and interactive methods to keep students engaged. For instance, in a math lesson, students might use colorful blocks or play games that involve adding and subtracting. In reading, they might explore exciting stories or participate in group discussions about characters and plots.

Group work is also a big part of learning. Students often work together on projects, which helps them develop teamwork skills and learn how to communicate their ideas. They learn not just from the teacher, but from each other, fostering a sense of community in the classroom.

Recess: Time to Play!

After a few hours of learning, it’s time for a well-deserved break! Recess is a favorite part of the day for many students. They rush outside to the playground, where they can run, climb, and play games. Some might choose to play tag, while others enjoy swinging or playing on the slides.

Recess isn’t just about physical activity; it’s also a time for socializing. Students have the opportunity to strengthen friendships and meet new friends. They learn important social skills like sharing and resolving conflicts. This time outside helps them recharge and prepares them for the next round of learning.

Lunchtime Adventures

After recess, students head to the cafeteria for lunch. The cafeteria is often a lively place, filled with laughter and chatter. Some students bring their lunches from home, while others buy meals from the school. There’s a wide variety of food available, from sandwiches and salads to pizza and fruit.

Lunchtime is another chance for students to connect with their peers. They sit with their friends, sharing stories and making plans for after school. This social aspect of lunch helps build a sense of belonging and community among students.

Afternoon Classes

Once lunch is over, it’s time to dive back into learning with afternoon classes. These might include science, social studies, art, or music. Each subject brings its own unique experiences and challenges. For example, in science class, students might conduct experiments, exploring concepts like gravity or plant growth. In art class, they could paint, draw, or work on crafts, allowing their creativity to shine.

Music class is another highlight for many students. They may learn to play instruments, sing, or even dance. These activities not only enhance their artistic skills but also promote teamwork and self-expression.

Special Programs and Activities

Throughout the week, schools often organize special programs and activities. These can include guest speakers, field trips, or themed days. For example, a field trip to a museum can bring history to life, while a guest speaker might inspire students with stories from their careers.

Schools may also have clubs and after-school activities, such as sports teams, art clubs, or science fairs. These programs give students a chance to explore their interests and develop new skills outside of the regular curriculum.

End of the Day

As the school day comes to a close, students gather their belongings and prepare to head home. Many teachers take a few moments to reflect on the day, discussing what was learned and what can be improved. This reflection is important for both students and teachers, helping everyone to grow and learn.

When the final bell rings, students rush out, excited to share their day with their families. Whether it’s about a new math concept they mastered or a fun game they played at recess, they can’t wait to talk about their experiences.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the experience at an elementary school is foundational in shaping a child’s future. From the excitement of learning new subjects to the joy of building friendships, these formative years are filled with opportunities for growth and exploration. An elementary school provides not just academic instruction but also nurtures social skills and emotional development, preparing students for the challenges ahead. As children engage in various activities—from interactive lessons to creative arts—they develop a love for learning that can last a lifetime. Moreover, the supportive environment fostered by dedicated teachers and staff plays a crucial role in encouraging students to reach their full potential.