#sandwich and math connection

[shifteruncensored]

the night it finally happened.

(a shifting short story from a shifter’s pov)

word count : ???

beep. beep. beep.

i wake to a loud alarm. i failed. again. i lay in my bed hoping it will swallow me whole.

why.

why not me.

i’ve been trying to shift since 2020. peak era. i have researched. looked into everything from shifttok tips to shiftblr masterlists. i even went on reddit once. i was desperate. i am desperate.

i scrolled on tiktok and tumblr for hours last night. i tried my best as usual. but for some reason, i always wake up here.

i grab my phone and look through the success stories i keep in my notes app like they are a holy grail.

“i woke up in asgard”

“i felt my s/o touch me”

it hurts i can’t lie. putting your all into something only to fail at it countless times. but by this point, i’m numb to the disappointment.

but still, i silently envy each story. each experience. why not me? why?

“it’s time for school, get ready please!!” my mom yells from downstairs.

school. great.

i get ready, moving through the steps like a zombie. shower. clothes. whatever. I just wish i was there. in my dr. with him. with my s/o.

i eventually choose to wear a plain white shirt and some jeans. what can i say? i like the simple things.

i get to school. i would be lying if i said i’m happy to be here. why would i want to be in math when i could be riding tha-

i stop myself. relax. relax.

morning classes drag by. it’s finally my favorite period. lunch.

i get lunch and sit at a table in the corner with a few of my friends. one complains about her long distance bf.

“we live like 500 hours away!!” she whines as i take a bite of my sandwich.

“try another reality for distance.” i think to myself. god i miss him. it’s weird. i haven’t even met him yet. but i feel so connected to him.

school drags on for what feels like hours.

by the time i get out, i look like a mess. but i don’t mind it and walk home as usual.

as i walk i think,

what am i missing?

what am i doing wrong?

is there a key to shift?

is it real?

it’s been years since i started my journey and i still have tons of questions.

tons of doubt.

i decide that i’ll try again tonight. one more try.

one more.

i get home. my mom looks exhausted. but beautiful. she always looks beautiful. i check in on her and tell her i love her before rushing upstairs to do my homework.

i want to get everything done so i’m less stressed for when i try to shift tonight.

“when i do shift” i mentally correct myself. fake it till you make it right?

i finish as much of my homework as i can then eat dinner with mom an hour later. her boss apparently doubled her hours.

“i hate that guy.” i think to myself. he works my mom to the bone.

to take a bit off her plate, i clear the table after dinner then do the dishes.

my mom’s already passed out in her room by the time i finish. i kiss her forehead and put a blanket over her. i don’t know why but in that moment i think about permashifting.

the thought passes my mind as quickly as it came.

“focus on shifting to your dr first.” i mutter to myself.

i get into bed after doing my nightly routine. i decide to watch harry potter and the chamber of secrets. it comforts me.

i watch in awe. this is where i feel i need to be. what my heart longs for. shifting gave me a way to fulfill that longing. i’m grateful.

but after all this time, i can’t help but wonder if this is what my purpose in life is.

“am i just wasting my time?” that thought races through my mind. i try to ignore it. it scares me.

by the time the movie ends, it’s dark. the moon shines into my room.

i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t nervous.

i open my phone to look for a shifting method on tumblr or tiktok but stop myself.

“not tonight,” i think to myself “tonight i’m going to do what i want.”

i turn on a shifting subliminal and lay down. my heart thumps so hard i think it might burst out of my chest.

i decide to just affirm and visualize. i think of hogwarts. of my s/o. of everything i can.

i remember a tip i read the other day about using my 5 sense and try it.

i imagine where i want to wake up. with my s/o. i think of what he looks like. the scent of him. the feeling of his lips on mine….

i drift off to sleep after a bit.

I wake to feel a light hitting my face. sunlight?

“failed again.” i think to myself but then. then i feel it. a pair of hands on my waist. softly holding me close.

i’m honestly a bit scared. what is happening?

i crack my eyes open for just a peek, looking over my shoulder. there he is in the flesh. sleeping peacefully. my s/o.

i tear up as i stare at him, his chest falling up and down slightly.

he looks even more angelic in person. my glossy eyes analyze every part of his face.

that’s when it really hits me.

i did it. i really did it. i shifted.

authors note: hi everyone. i’m karma and this was my first time posting a short story to tumblr. if there is any typos, please ignore them…..hopefully you all liked this story.

[fordpinesthemanyouare]

Ford x Fem!Reader

Math Assistant Pt.3

Summary: Ford needs himself an assistant, Stanley makes an online post for him and BOOM there you are. Warnings: Age gap... but that's what you're here for me thinks A/N: Wanted to get this up before I leave for vacation, still serving nothing sandwiches but HEY were getting somewhere huh? I need that six fingered freak dude, like... it's so bad that I had to bring it up in therapy. Tags <3: @potato-painter

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Her car followed behind the red El Diablo that had picked Stanford up from the diner as she was returning to her car. She saw another older man in the driver seat who she assumed must have been the twin brother Stanford mentioned. She didn't get a good look at the driver before she got inside her own car, the late spring sun making its descent over the looming trees turning the sky a deep orange. Had she and Stanford really been talking for that long? The shining red car turned out of the diner parking lot, and y/n followed suit, rolling down her windows and turning up the volume to the music she had been listening to on the long drive to this desolate town. Before leaving the diner together, Stanford had told her to just follow in his car and he would lead them to where she would be spending the next few months. 

Bumping her head along to the music as she drove down the two lane road, her mind began to wonder what her time here in Gravity Falls would look like. She had always been in the lab or classroom working on ever growing math equations for most of her adult life, but she always felt a deep connection to nature, specifically Oregon’s natural woods. Since moving here to complete her schooling she loved the natural aura these woods produced, and now here she was, completely surrounded with the strong trees, she couldn't have felt more at peace. The completion of her master’s was long and grueling work that kept her away from exploring the woods, and being a thirty year old completing another degree, there was not much time for camping. Y/n had a tendency to become completely involved with her work very quickly, locking herself in the apartment she was renting near campus for days without anybody seeing her (not unlike someone else we know).  

The El Diablo turned onto a dirt road into the woods, the lights from the main road fell behind them as they continued their way into the ever growing dark forest. The two pairs of headlights were the only lumination on the long road, and the lights highlighted the seemingly eerie pointed signs nailed to the trees along the road with large question marks hand painted over them. She couldn't help but take in the amount of trees that were covered in these signs, she suddenly felt very nervous about the situation the car was lurching towards. She still had no idea what to expect, even with the long conversation Stanford and her had just been having, and arriving while it was quickly turning dark might not have been the best idea for her nerves. She breathed in through her nose, and out of her mouth to attempt to drown the anxiety brewing in the pit of her stomach as they pulled up to a lone… shack? Cabin? Store? The lights around the establishment lit the area up better for her to read the sign on the side of the building: “Mystery (S) hack”. The ‘S’ of the sign had fallen on the side of the roof; she noticed it now read ‘Mystery Hack’ and smiled a little, as the two cars pulled closer to the side of the house to park. They certainly weren't wrong about having a parking lot in front of their… home? She was certainly confused and was in thought about what she was getting herself into as she turned the car off, rolled up the windows, and began to grab any loose items to put in her purse. 

A loud abrupt knock on the window caused her to gasp and jump in the driver's seat, turning to see what monster had scared her while she was so deep in thought. Her eyes met with Stanford’s… no someone who looked similar but different in the setting sun’s light. His frame was slightly bigger at the almost the same height Stanford is, but he was wearing a shirt that had a few buttons undone from the top revealing his broad and hairy chest; he had similar glasses to Ford as well. He was flashing her a toothy grin before speaking “Well are y’gonna come out and take a tour or what?” She just stared at him, her face flushed from the scare and her mouth opening and closing not unlike a fish from water. The man laughed at her, loud and heartily, before she could hear Stanford say slightly muffled from the windows “Stanley get away from her car please.” The man took a few paces back from the window, while holding his hands up in defense, chuckling still with a smile “I wasn’t even doing anything!” 

Her heart was still racing; she grabbed her purse and stepped out of the car into the dirt parking lot, feeling towered over by Stanford's twins’ stance. She smiled past her nerves and offered her hand, “Hi there, Im Y/n, you must be Stanford’s twin he mentioned”

He gave her a smirk and an eyebrow quirk at that before grabbing her hand in his large calloused one, shaking it he introduced himself as Stanley. His broad hand had completely engulfed hers as he spoke, “He was talking about me huh? Were you excited to meet me or something, doll?” Before she could stutter out a response, feeling her face heat up at the pet name he casually called her, Stanley looked at his brother who was walking towards them “Stanford? You really were trying to seem as serious as you can point-dexter, you should probably try to loosen up a bit with your new assistant.” 

Ford rolled his eyes at his brother as he stood to the side of them, she turned to see him stand beside them with a casual smirk on his face at his brother’s antics. “A cute look on him”, the thought flashed in her mind and she dismissed it as quickly as it came. This was her new boss, that she was going to be living with and working with! She reprimanded herself silently for thinking such thoughts all while still looking at him, still she couldn't stop even when Stanford began speaking, her eyes darting to his lips as they moved.

“I was attempting to maintain professionalism with my new assistant, some of us have to maintain a sense of decorum.” Ford looked at Y/n, he didn’t want her to feel like she was not welcomed from their brotherly bantering, but she was already staring up at him from her stance. “You can also call me Ford if you’d like, I do know we will be spending a lot of time together over the next few months.” She nodded at that and looked between the two brothers. She couldn't help but think they were handsome when the two of them were towering over her like this,  laughing and bantering with each other. Stanley snorted in response to Ford, before she could speak. 

“Ha! Decorum, that's just your fancy word for being stuck up, if you loosen up a bit Y/n might actually take a liking to you.” Stanley jabbed Ford with his elbow in his ribs as he said it and turned to her while looking her up and down now, and she felt like she was put in the hot seat from his gaze raking up and down her body as she leaned against the door to her car. Her face was still slightly red from the last comment he had made, but she didn't falter as she regained some composure. She said nonchalantly to Ford’s twin, “I would love to take that tour if you're still offering, I just have to grab some of my things.”She smirked back at Stanley’s gaze on hers as she turned to walk towards the trunk of her car, popping it open with her keys. She pulled out two large suitcases that looked like they were about ready to burst open, the two men looked towards her things and then waved her towards the shack not mentioning the state her luggage was in.

The trio walked up the steps of the porch as Y/n and Stanley locked their cars almost in unison, they looked at each other and laughed together at the uniform way the cars beeped together. Ford turned over his shoulder and saw Y/n’s beautiful laugh ring out as she looked at Stanley, he couldn't help but feel something pang deep in his chest but he continued onward toward the door ignoring the feeling before she could notice his glance back. They entered the house (shack? cabin? showroom??) and she marveled at all of the large displays that stared right back at her. She was even more confused as they shut the door behind her and flicked the lights on, detailing the displays that were previously shrouded with darkness. As she set her things down by the front door, the large sasquatch model parked in the corner immediately caught her eye and noticed the sign that pointed conveniently between the model sasquatch’s legs and read “Sas-crotch”. She huffed a laugh before looking at Ford, “Does this happen to be the lucrative project we're working on?” gesturing towards the sas-crotch with a grin. 

Ford’s cheeks started to burn a bit at his new assistant’s teasing question, feeling more embarrassed at how his home had now been turned into a tourist trap. He rubbed the back of his neck a little awkwardly before starting, “Ah yes, that is part of Stanley’s… exhibits he curates for tourists to come visit during the day. This room and two others are the only rooms where people could be walking through, and it’s separated from the rest of the house. Let me show you to your room.” He walked through the back door of the showroom as she lugged her two heavy suitcases through the room and down the hallway they entered. Stanley stayed behind, muttering something under his breath about not including him on the tour and making fun of his work. Even though she admired all of the strange things in the front room as they walked through, she marveled at the assortment of displays. They continued farther into the house, it became more evident that she was walking into a home as the freaky displays were left in the front showroom. Down the hall now, pictures hung on the wall of family members and the two brother’s, she quickly passed them following Ford, but made a note to look further into them later following Ford as he continued down the hall. 

He had led her into the kitchen, and Ford had made a point in his mind beforehand to make sure to show her where the coffee machine was. He couldn't help but note that she drank just about as much coffee as him (if not more), and he also made an additional mental note to buy extra coffee grounds the next time they went to the store. “Here is where the fuel is,” Ford said while tapping the top of the coffee maker with his palm. She giggled a little, nodding in agreement “Glad you showed me the night before we begin our work, I might have needed to run to that diner for coffee.” He smiled at her and continued on their small tour of the house, she was still awkwardly rolling the luggage through all parts of the house. 

The pair continued down another hall and up a small flight of stairs until they were stopped in front of a door, he pushed it open and what revealed was a storage closet with a deflated air mattress in one corner. The room couldn’t have been more than eight feet across, and in the opposite corner of the small bed was a desk and chair. The chair contained some folded sheets, blankets, and towels, but otherwise the room looked like nobody had been in it for a long time. There was one window above the bed that was paneled with various geometric shapes, the light in the room showed some light cobwebs in the corners. As Y/n entered the room with her luggage, Ford moved in the hall flicking on more lights in the house letting her get settled in the small room. 

“The bathroom is just across the hall for when you need it, whenever you're settled in tomorrow I can show you more of the house and where we will be working.” Ford approached, leaning on the open door frame of the storage closet/bedroom looking at the way she was taking in the room, and beginning to open up the too-filled luggage. As she knelt in front of the two suitcases on the floor unzipping them she said “I appreciate that, I always forget how tired driving makes me and this town really is in the middle of nowhere.” Y/n turned her head and looked up at Ford with a smile, taking in the sight before her. His hair seemed run through with his hands and his turtle neck sleeves were bunched up around his elbows showing off his broad forearms. She was trying her best not to ogle him, but he wasn’t responding to her statement and just looking right back at her. Their gazes met each other for a few seconds, both just staring at each other through the silence, before Ford realized it was his turn to speak. He cleared his throat as his cheeks dusted pink and brought his hand behind his neck to rub it again, “Y-yes, I’m sure you're tired after a long day today, we'll meet together tomorrow to get started on everything” He turned to walk down the stairs before Y/n gave a half shouted “Wait!”. He stopped and walked the two paces back to the door, where Y/n was standing now in the room. 

“T-thank you Ford, I appreciate you getting me set up here and showing me around, especially that coffee machine.” She suddenly felt a little awkward stopping him just so she could stutter out a thanks, her face grew warm and the pit of her stomach seemed to fill her nerves with anxiety. Ford looked at Y/n again, drinking in her beauty as she was standing there thanking him. He could barely register her words before he smiled again at her, taking one last discreet view of her full body since she was now standing, he nodded. “Of course, I’m hoping we'll be able to make further progress than I have made, now with your help.” At that, he walked from the doorway feeling his sweaty hands finally begin to make their way to just being clammy, once he was half way down the stairs away from her. Once she was left in the room alone with Ford’s footsteps thudding down the stairs towards the kitchen, she let out a breath of air she didn’t realize she had been holding. Turning back to continue unpacking a little bit, grabbing some items for a shower she desperately needed to clear her impure thoughts of the man that just stood in her doorway. 

Downstairs, Ford was deep in thought on why his body was reacting this way as he headed back to the kitchen, leaving Y/n to finish getting settled for the night. He understood that yes, his assistant just so happened to be absolutely stunning, but what he couldn’t understand is that although the interview had opened her up a bit more to him, how could he still be nervous at this point? The two of them had shared several hours together at the diner talking about work and studies, they both had many similar interests and passions for learning and he felt that she was almost too perfect for this situation. As his mind fell deeper and deeper into overthinking the whole situation at hand, Stanley walked into the kitchen to see Ford braced over the counter, his six fingered hands gripping onto the lip of the counter as if it was the only thing tethering him to reality. Stanley cleared his throat and Ford jumped slightly before turning around to face his brother, his mind previously occupied with thoughts of his new assistant. Ford’s face was a bit flushed as he looked at Stan full on now either from his thoughts previously or because Stan had now scared two different scientists within the same day. 

Stanley immediately noticed the flush spread on Ford’s nose and cheeks, if he had no context of what had been happening he would have figured he just scared his twin. Alas, Stanley knew better than to assume he was flustered because he walked into the kitchen and scared him a bit, he knew that something had just happened while the two were touring the house. The shower upstairs distantly turned on, letting both men in the kitchen know you were now completely out of earshot, a shit eating grin pulled on Stan’s lips. Ford preemptively shook his head in disagreement before Stan had even begun speaking, which caused Stan to laugh. 

“I knew I shoulda’ kept her resume from you” He laughed again looking at Ford’s now raised eyebrows at his claim, before continuing, “What? I figured you would be able to maintain, hm, what word did you use earlier? ‘Decorum’ what a load of shit, have you seen her? What happened up there to make you turn this red?”. It had been a long time since Stanley had seen his brother flustered at all, let alone because of an attractive person. That last thought to himself left him feeling a twinge of sadness in his chest. His brother had been gone for so long and had barely had any time to experience a meaningful romantic relationship, at least that he was aware of. Not that Stan wasn't checking out the new assistant earlier by the cars, and he may have been a little charmed at their unison car locking. However Stan wasn't stupid, he had certainly noticed the glances Y/n stole from his twin in the short time the three of them were together. She would look at his jaw or his hands for just a second too long, a second too long for Stan to notice the little hints before Y/n and Ford left to tour the rest of the house without him. 

“Absolutely nothing happened Stanley, I showed Y/n to her room and that was it. She mentioned that she was tired, so I politely took my leave. I am not sure what you are insinuating here Stanley, but whatever it is, it isn’t happening.” Ford’s poker face regarding his heart, definitely needed work, his blush deepened in his cheeks and his eyes couldn’t meet his twins’. Ford seemed to look at anything in the kitchen other than his brother’s incredulous stare, he began organizing the pile of papers on the kitchen table as he almost waited for Stan’s rebuttal. 

Stanley almost laughed at Ford’s feeble attempts at playing stupid, but he figured he wouldn’t pry on Ford especially with how he looked when he walked into the kitchen, as if he was in the middle of solving the world’s hardest equation. “If you wanna leave it at that, then I won’t make you talk” Stanley turned to leave Ford once again, figuring it was time to hit the hay anyways. He mumbled a goodnight to Ford before heading towards his own room, Ford could barely share the same pleasantries before registering Stanley had in fact not broached further on the subject of his new assistant. Ford was quickly left alone with his thoughts again in the empty kitchen, hearing the water trickle in the distant shower upstairs reminding him once again of the time that was yet to be spent together in the lab. 

He stood in the kitchen for a moment thinking over how Stanley had entirely dropped the teasing conversation, and frankly, it seemed like Stanley knew what he was doing by deliberately not asking. Ford groaned at the thought, bringing his hand up to his face to rub the bridge of his nose under his glasses in slight annoyance. He realized it wasn't far out from when everyone typically goes to bed, so he began to head for the basement when he stopped in his tracks when the distant running water stopped in the shower upstairs. Ford’s mind raced for a moment, running through the different courses of action. Should he head upstairs to make sure that you are all settled for the night, or should he continue to the basement for the night letting her get settled in by herself? He was almost paralyzed in thought as his heart continued to beat faster than before in his chest. 

Ford made his decision as he heard the bathroom door distantly open, as he pulled the vending machine door into its hinges and shut it closed behind him. 

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[noddytheornithopod]

oh my god oh my god oh my god more pnf rough animation teases

first, the video i'm seeing these from... hope it lasts, anyway let's see what we have

Farmer and his wife return. Tag implies it's More than an Intern.

Forced perspective western town? Looks neat. Isabella posing for the camera, Candace telling them to hold it, all very nice nice. Tag says "520", and if Intern was 510, this is probably 510b (or maybe 11a cuz as you'll see Meap Me in St Louis throws a wrench in things, aka maaaaaybe we're not seeing this ep in June). Yay, maths! Also they did a western style town in She's the Mayor, will that be referenced or is this all coincidence?

Doof running exercise? Maybe to power an inator? Hard to read what ep this is, most I can make out is "Doofexercise". 532 if it's the episode number implies it's probably towards the end of the season though (probably 516b/17a).

Buford with some pool? Ep 535 (516a). The setting and uh lack of clothing makes me wonder if it's the ep he goes out into nature, lol.

GIANT MOM CLOUD. And yeah, it's definitely Cloudy with a Chance of Mom, based on ep number and stuff we've seen before. I do have a theory about how this ep could go, I might talk about it sometime. Short version is: either PnF are intentionally doing this, or they take advantage of this, they do it because they WANT to show their mum.

Also from that episode, some "wind con"? Probably a throwaway gag. Candace seems to have a line cut off. Also, "vacuum con sucked", ha.

Candace from License to Bust with her driving instructor. Love the awkwardness here, it's hilarious.

Episode 505 (3b, Dry Another day), chilling in a pool? Also scene from the same ep with Candace dressed for cold weather and lots of weird water park looking stuff? I did see the submarine sandwich submarine labelled as from this episode but this doesn't seem to line up, maybe that was a mistake and Appetite for Adventure (502a) or something. Candace insists the time is important and brings Linda to watch the news. The clothes also makes me wonder if it's the ep with the song about all the seasons at once, cuz I recall that being a thing.

More than an Intern Clip (505b). So uh... is Carl okay? Did he quit being an OWCA intern, and is trying to do paid jobs? Or both at once? Either way, he seems very clearly worked up over being an OWCA intern.

Lord of the Firesides content, aka one of the eps I'm most eager to see... seems like a rough time for the Fireside Girls. Isabella seems struggling and suggests holding hands and singing a jovial song. Meanwhile, scene of Ginger going insane working on red velvet cupcakes, insisting she loves the taste while clearly being out of it. Why red velvet? It says so in the background. This does kinda feed into some ideas I've had for the ep before, but I'll keep it brief for here. Basically, it's an ep where the other Fireside Girls get sick of Isabella's shit. The red velvet thing is what really made me think of it.

Doof questioning Diminutive's death traps, wondering if LOVEMUFFIN it too evil... also, hippos instead of sharks. 513 - 7a = Agent T for Teen? Tho label says Agent A sequence.

Some of that Candace Suit song that leaked. Noticed it says 514 (aka 7b vs 8a), so IDK if some eps got shuffled around or what. Also a bit with Doof and an inator on his head in Perry's car.

Perry with specialised hats, a haberdasher and... creepy moth Doof? The Haberdasher, obviously (tho along with last ep, it's 515 aka 508a, so IDK what's the order here now). Also call me crazy, but is Alan Cumming the Haberdasher? Sounded a bit like him, even looks a bit like him. Maybe the upcoming Doctor Who ep is making me see things and connecting it to the time Swampy posted about him. Also with him talking about wanting to do this idea AND creepy moth Doof... I'm calling it, this is a Joshua Pruett episode. Also, shot of inator hitting satellite ready to hit some poor soul and Perry flying. Think Doof is probably thinking of using moths to eat the hats, maybe turning the Haberdasher into a mothman (will the cryptid be mentioned lol), but instead the inator hits Doof?

Candace mentions Bango Ru, and 517-A suggests it's Meap Me in St Louis (which may affect other numberings I've speculated on). Makes sense, not just cuz Bango Ru came in in the OG Meap but also the St Louis teaser has the Meap and Suzy fight in what seems like a Bango Ru convention (huh, wonder if it's a yearly thing?).

520, southern accented Doof looking weird with Perry. Same ep as the forced perspective western town. Feel like there should be a correlation here but IDK what.

532 scene again, Doof selling the exercise thing and saying it's free. Totally not an evil plan, guys.

Doof surrounded by sheep and complaining about losing sales. Ep 533, so towards the end of the season.

The scene from Biblio-Blast that was shown earlier. Still very funny.

Soooooo yeah, that's everything I caught and can infer based on other stuff we know. Looking pretty good here, now even more eager to see the episodes!

[prongspower]

Before the Mask – Part IV: The Breaking Point

Part III

Bristol Academy. Courtyard. 12:11 PM.

The bell hadn’t even finished ringing before the first shove came.

Dick stumbled forward, his tray clattering to the concrete. Half a sandwich, some grapes, and a protein bar scattered across the pavement like a cheap magic trick gone wrong.

“Oops,” said Jackson Wimble , not even bothering to hide the smirk. “Didn’t see you there, Flying Grayson.”

Laughter. Not loud, but enough of it. Two boys behind Jackson snickered, trying too hard.

Dick froze. He stared down at the splattered lunch, feeling heat rise up his neck.

“I heard they used to launch you like a cannonball in that freakshow circus.” Jackson circled him like a shark. “Is that why your parents fell? Maybe your math was off that day.”

Dick’s breath caught.

He wanted to walk away. He’d promised Bruce he’d try to ignore it. Be normal. Fit in.

But his fingers curled into fists anyway.

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Dick muttered.

“Aww,” Jackson crooned. “Is the little orphan gonna cry again?”

That word. Orphan. It hit like a slap.

“You think Wayne took you in because he cares?” Jackson leaned closer, breath hot and smug. “You’re just his charity project. You think you’re one of us now? You’re circus trash. Always will be.”

Dick moved without thinking.

His fist connected with Jackson’s cheekbone in a clean, fast arc—something he’d seen a hundred times under the big top, performed in a thousand choreographed fights. But this wasn’t an act. This wasn’t showtime. This was real.

And Jackson hit back.

Pain exploded along Dick’s temple. He staggered, off-balance, and suddenly one of the other boys—Nash or Cole, he couldn’t tell—grabbed his arm and yanked him sideways. Another punch, this time to the ribs. Then a kick.

He was on the ground before he even realized.

The pavement was cold against his cheek. Someone stepped on his backpack. Laughter again, sharper this time. Teachers’ voices started shouting. Footsteps. Scatter.

And then it was over.

Dick lay there for a second longer than he needed to, teeth gritted, heart racing like a war drum. The inside of his mouth tasted like blood.

He hadn’t won. Not even close.

He hadn’t even thought. Just reacted.

Like an animal.

Bristol Academy. Main Office. 1:46 PM.

The antiseptic smell of the nurse’s office still clung to him. Dick sat stiffly in the overstuffed leather chair outside the headmaster’s office, his scraped knuckles wrapped in a too-big bandage, his uniform shirt torn at the collar. He’d refused the ice pack.

Across the hall, Jackson Wimble was being fussed over by his mother—tall, blonde, pristine. She kept glancing across the corridor like she was staring at something on the bottom of her shoe.

The office door opened.

“Mr. Grayson, Headmaster will see you now,” the secretary said, voice carefully neutral.

Dick stood. Bruce was already inside, standing like a statue near the window. His expression didn’t change when Dick entered. Neither cold nor warm. Just unreadable.

Headmaster Ellis cleared his throat. “Mr. Wayne, thank you for coming on short notice. I understand you’re a busy man.”

Bruce nodded once. “I’m here Ellis. Dick’s safety is more important than any business meeting I’m missing.”

Ellis leaned forward across his desk, hands steepled. “Richard’s safety isn’t the part in question here Mr Wayne.This is a serious matter. He assaulted another student. There are witnesses—several. And given the… public nature of the incident, it’s likely to get media attention.”

Dick looked down at the floor, his stomach twisting. Why did the headmaster paint him to be some villain? Even the act of disregarding his chosen name felt like a stinging slap.

“He was provoked,” Bruce countered. “I read the report from Ms. Fitz wrote as a witness. 3 on 1 hardly feels like Dick is the heart of the incident.”

Dick’s eyes flicked between the two adults. He had to bite his cheek to hold back I smirk at Bruce’s return to his nickname.

“Provocation doesn’t excuse violence,” Ellis replied. “This is a private institution. We have codes of conduct. Expectations. Frankly, Mr. Wayne, there were concerns from the board even before today. Richard’s background…”

There it was. The pause. The implication. The unspoken “circus trash” whispered in administrator-speak.

Dick flexed his fingers and then fisted his hands trying to ignore the pain these words inflicted on him

“I see,” Bruce said coolly. He turned to Dick. “Do you have anything you want to say?”

Dick’s voice was hoarse. “They said things. About my parents. About… me.” His eyes fell back to the floor at the reminder of what had been said.

Bruce lips pursed into a thin line. Dick heard his intake of breath before he spoke again. “Did you throw the first punch?” He asked after relaxing his mouth once more

Dick hesitated and struggled to meet Bruce’s gaze. “Yes.”

His silence after that was louder than any yelling a father figure could spew.

Ellis leaned back in his plush office chair. “We are prepared to issue a two-week suspension. With mandatory behavioral counseling if he wants to remain enrolled. We do understand that behavior was ‘different’ where he is from… but we must keep our environment safe Mr. Wayne.”

Bruce nodded once. “Understood.”

He didn’t argue or defend further. Just nodded and stood once more. “Dick, let’s go. The car is waiting outside.”

Dick’s heart sank. Was this what a guardian was supposed to do? Or was Bruce everything Jackson claimed to be?Dick hung his head and followed after his guardian. He swore he saw a cold glint in Bruce’s eyes when Headmaster spoke with disdain about Dick but was that for him or in support of the statements. He didn’t know and that hurt most of all.

⸻

Wayne Manor. Driveway. 4:23 PM.

The car door slammed with more force than necessary.

Dick Grayson marched up the stone steps of the Manor, backpack bouncing angrily against his spine, fists clenched so tightly his knuckles were white. Alfred lingered near the front door, towel draped over one arm, a tray of lemonade untouched on the entry table behind him.

“Master Dick,” he began gently, eyes flicking to the torn collar of the boy’s uniform shirt and the swelling bruise forming under his left eye. “Shall I assume the school day was… eventful?”

Dick didn’t answer. He shouldered past him with a mumbled “I’m fine,” and disappeared into the shadowed hallway.

Bruce followed shortly after Dick and heaved the sign of a man who felt out of his depth as he walked past Alfred. “I’ll update you later. First, I need to debrief with the kid.”

Alfred sighed and turned, catching the faint sound of uneven footsteps echoing deeper into the Manor. He didn’t follow. This was one situation only master Bruce and the young master Grayson could sort through themselves.

⸻

Wayne Manor. Bruce’s Study. 4:31PM.

Dick’s face was flushed as he stormed into Bruce’s study. “He called me trash. Said I didn’t belong there. That I was only in that school because you paid for me to be. As if you had to bribe them to even take me in” His voice dropped. “Because I’m a pity case.”

Bruce stayed silent. Arms crossed as he leaned on the edge of his gothic carved desk in the center of the room.

“I could’ve taken him,” Dick added, almost defensively. “But there were three of them. And I— I lost it. I didn’t think. I just… I wanted to make them stop.”

“You let them control you,” Bruce said quietly. “Let them play you like a game. You played right into their hands.”

Dick blinked. The words hit harder than a lecture. “Well….They started it!”

“And you finished it—poorly.”

Dick looked away, shame darkening his expression. He threw his backpack down and flopped onto the small couch by the fireplace.

Bruce stepped away from the desk and stuffed his hands in his pockets “You’re not in trouble you know.”

Dick head snapped up and he blinked. “I’m not?”

“You’re suspended. That’s punishment enough. I know how you enjoy your classes.”

A beat passed as the two stared at each other.

With a deep breath, Bruce crossed the room completely and knelt so they were eye level. His arm rested on Dick’s shoulder. “I’m not angry that you fought. I’m disappointed that you didn’t know how to fight back the right way. That you didn’t stay in control of your emotions.”

Another beat of silence. Dick’s eyes welled with something bitter—tears or rage, Bruce couldn’t tell. Maybe both.

Dick looked down. “I just wanted them to stop. I wanted the words and the laughing to stop.”

Bruce softly squeezed the boy’s shoulder.

“I know.” It was clear the man was unsure how to respond in this painful moment. Perhaps it echoed something in his past. Dick was unsure.

“Do you want to learn how?” Bruce asked after clearing his throat.

Dick frowned in confusion. “How to fight?” His brows furrowed. Was this a trick?

“Yes and more importantly how to stay in control. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.”

Dick didn’t answer immediately. He sat and thought of the burning anger he had when Jackson taunted him. That feeling of being out of control and baited into a fight. Yet after a moment, he nodded. Slow. Certain. He was certain kids wouldn’t change but he could at least learn how to maneuver this world.

Bruce stood with assurance. “Come with me then.”

⸻

Wayne Manor. Sub-Level Gym. 9:42 PM.

The hidden elevator. The dim hallway. The space beneath the Manor that felt like a secret — not the biggest secret, not yet — but something more than just a gym. Something older. Quieter. Waiting.

Dick stood barefoot on the padded mat, heart thudding with something heavier than adrenaline.

Bruce circled him like a storm on a leash.

“Rule one: You never throw the first punch.”

“But—”

“You. don’t. throw. the first. punch. ” Bruce repeated with a stern look at told Dick no if,ands,or buts would be heard on the matter. “You let them waste their energy. You watch. You think. You prepare. Find their weekpoint”

Dick nodded, swallowing the frustration.

“Rule two: You never fight angry. Anger makes you sloppy.”

“Even when what they say is untrue and hurts?” Dick asked with a pleeding voice

“Especially then.”Bruce’s eyes flickered with something distant — not pity. Not pain. Something colder. Something familiar. Without sharing words, Dick knew Bruce had been in his shoes at least once or twice before.

“And rule three,” Bruce said, tapping his temple, “You win the fight up front, or not at all.”

Dick took a breath.

“I’m ready.”

Bruce didn’t smile. But something softened in his posture.

“Then let’s begin.”

Dick frowned. “How to fight?”

“How to stay in control. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.”

Dick didn’t answer immediately. But after a moment, he nodded. Slow. Certain.

⸻

The Cave. Lower Level. 9:42 PM.

Bruce had told him it was “just a workout space.” A private one. Dick didn’t ask questions—he was still too in awe of the hidden stairwell, the elevator with no buttons, and the massive, echoing cavern beneath the Manor.

He stood barefoot on the padded mat in gym shorts and an old Wayne Tech T-shirt that swallowed his frame. Bruce was across from him, dressed in black workout gear, sleeves rolled to the elbows, his expression unreadable.

“Rule one,” Bruce said, circling slowly. “You don’t throw the first punch.”

“But what if they—?”

“You don’t throw the first punch,” Bruce repeated. “You let them waste their energy. Watch how they move. Listen. Think.”

Dick nodded, jaw clenched.

“Rule two,” Bruce said, stopping in front of him. “You never fight angry. Anger makes you sloppy. Predictable. Easy to break.”

Dick exhaled. “Okay.”

“And rule three…” Bruce raised an arm and pointed to his own temple. “You win the fight up here, or not at all.”

Dick looked at Bruce’s face. There was something behind his eyes—something familiar. Controlled. Distant. It reminded him of the moment right after his parents fell. The cold space between breath and scream.

“I’m ready,” he said.

Bruce nodded once. “Then let’s begin.”

[br1ghtestlight]

getting war flashbacks to the bobs burgers fanfic where louise is doing math homework in the restaurant when nobody else is around and then bob has a heart attack </3 that shit was TRAUMATIZING

love linda shouting four whenever there's a math problem or anything related to numbers. best recurring joke. FOUR!!!!

you can do it gene :D also im so bad at math I 100% would not be able to help either. dumbass rep family

bob trying to help gene with his homework is cute. even if he is Not very good at it. he wants to be an involved dad :(

gene im not gonna lie that math question has gotta be fucking with you. rhat is not a real question. i could NEVER do that not if i was given 100 hours that shit is fake

see this is where when I was in math class i would just write a random number and move on bcuz im never gonna figure it out anyway im not gonna waste time. so that's my advice gene. just Give Up

he says "maybe your mom or tina could get you started" because they're older but I genuinely think louise has a better chance of helping bcuz she is so smart. if she'd WANT to help is another question entirely

because I'm stuck in a safe 😐

AND THEN HE BLINDFOLDED ME ON THE WAY HERE??? HE BLINDFOLDED YOU??????

teddy I think his guy is gonna murder you im gonna be so real right now

unfortunately im kinda following teddy's logic now like. it isnt like fischoeder isn't doing this type of shit everyday just for fun. rich guys are just like that BUT getting their money is nice

"gene was doing homework?? that's new"

WE'RE NOT ALL ECONOMICALLY COMFORTABLE LIKE YOU ARE

"Why did you tell me the whole long story about the sandwich in the drawer if you're running out of battery LOCKED IN A SAFE??" "Context!!!!"

also bob and teddy have such great comedic chemistry lmao they bounce off each other so naturally

louise isn't lying she Does have a certain set of skills 😭 if anyone could find him it WOULD be her the lockpicking genius nine year old supervillain

miss you. see you soon. gotta go!!

has he gotten a new cellphone since that MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND YOUR PHONE IS AT 23% argument or is it that same shitty 2008 blackberry phone that dies almost immediately lmfao

bob is a real one for doing this bullshit for teddy he did NOT have to. they're ride or die fr

I'm not entirely unconvinced that gerald isnt a serial killer but thats okay <3 men can have hobbies

also I'm choosing to believe this gerald is the same one from the taxes/weed cookie episode even though it ABSOLUTELY is not bcuz i think that would be funny. by day he's a regular tax agent by night he is a creepy rich kidnapper who pulls mind games on all his handymen

OH I FORGOT THE SUBPLOT FOR THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT SPORTS PEOPLE why did they do the whole thing with gene's homework then.... are they connected. what is the gameplan

WE PICK A NEW LOVER FOR MOM

i love how bob is apparently the only thing keeping his family from going completely off the fucking rails like. he's the only thing standing between his family and their restaurant burning down with everyone inside fr

your dad never loved that dream :/ because he's a hater :/ AND SO JEALOUS :/

you're not gonna break the world record. another hater. STOP THAT

I might be having a panic attack 💔 I CANT TELL BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE OR IM ALWAYS HAVING ONE soo real teddy

WE LOST HIM 😭😭💔

aww I love them all wearing their lil aprons <3 (crappy photo of my tablet bcuz the app im using to watch this episode doesn't allow screenshots)

SAY SOMETHING SMART LIKE UHH HOW WOULD YOU FLIP A GIANT BURGER. OH GOD THEY DIDNT MAKE THE GIANT BURGER DID THEY. WHO WOULD EVEN AGREE TO EAT THAT. AN OVER FOURTY CO-ED BASKETBALL TEAM. REALLY 😯

sorry this episode has so many good ooc quotes FJDMDJSKSKKM

gene STOP calling him father

bob is being like a whole ass detective meanwhile linda and the kids are currently making The Worst Decisions Ever

h jon benjiman is doing such a good job voicing bob in this episode idk it has so much personality and sounds natural. or it's always like this and im just now appreciating it but either way A+ work

cute bob and teddy moment ❤️❤️

(ignore the awful camera quality. nothing I can do there) also love the fact that teddy can easily lift up and manhandle bob. Good to know

there's so much going on w/ this gerald guy I dont even know WHERE to begin. what a guy. wow

this is so cute and sweet im so happy!!! YOU DOUBLE FAKE WALLED HIM :D YOU SMART SMARTIE. YOURE A GENIUS BOB

"I knew I asked the right person to come help me. Yeah. Mort wouldn't answer."

"What? You called Mort first?"

"No..."

HE ASKED MORT???? LMFAO big win for tedmort shippers. I fucking guess

MORT NEVER DOUBLE FAKE WALLED ANYONE why is bob like genuinely jealous of mort and teddy right now 😭 chill out man you've got a wife at home

"let's just say it's twelve" FINALLY bob follows my very smart advice when it comes to math homework smh

ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM EATING BOBS BURGERS FOR DINNER OR IN GENERAL!!! I mean it's a giant hamburger loaf but it technically was served at bob's burgers so it counts

GIANT FRENCH FRIES

aww this episode was so fun and cute!! I love the more adventure-y type episodes where they explore a new location so this episode was great and very stressful lmao. also very funny. I love bob and teddy's dynamic/back and forth throughout the episode and the weird mort mention at the end felt like they were soft launching his and teddy's relationship even though I KNOW they aren't actually. mort could replace kathleen if we believe. very solid 8/10 episode :)

[revlyncox]

Crowded Table: Gratitude and Invitation

In this pre-Thanksgiving homily, the complexity of this moment and the practice of gratitude are both honored. We consider the practical implications of the saying, "when you have more than enough, build a longer table instead of a wall." Rev. Lyn Cox delivered this homily to The Unitarian Society in East Brunswick on November 24, 2024.

My grandparents’ kitchen was the heart of their house. Though it was a little drafty with a window looking out over the hillside and the cow pasture, and the entrance to the mudroom right between the stove and the washing machine, I remember it as being warm from the woodstove and from whatever was cooking. The table in the middle was big enough for the extended family for most of my growing up: two grandparents, three sets of aunts and uncles and cousins, my parents and brothers and myself. I’m not sure how that worked, the math does not seem to add up with what I know about the square footage in that kitchen, but I remember the feeling of being surrounded by love. It was a crowded table. 

That kitchen was a place of acceptance. After the disaster, after losing the job, after the divorce, after the car accident, we came back to that table at the next holiday and sat down to pass the bread and butter once again. My grandfather didn’t say very much. He had a hug for the girls and a handshake for the boys; mostly he sat and listened. My grandmother knew everyone’s story and made sure we were kept up-to-date on the family news. All of her storytelling was in the service of connection, never grudges or cutoffs or putting others down. We brought our brokenness to the table, were strengthened, and were sent forth again with sandwiches for the journey. 

If I can be real with you, I have had a lot of experiences in my life of not belonging. Maybe most people do. I know there are some who never feel like they can have or trust an experience of acceptance. I do not take for granted that I was able to have that formative memory. What I take from that early lesson is a mission to strengthen communities of meaning and purpose. 

To me, this is what abundance is. A gathering of energy and support, a learning ground for ethics and values where mistakes are opportunities for growth, a group of people who are committed to solving problems together, a place where the door is open for newcomers who want to join in that commitment. When there is secure food, housing, and healthcare, we give thanks for that, and we seek ways to share what we have. When one of us is short on one of those things, we find a way forward together. May each and every soul connect with the abundance of interdependence. 

We’re told that this is a time of year to give thanks. I know that, for many of us, our fears and our deficits loom large, and it can be hard to access gratitude. There are valid reasons to be concerned about our loved ones and our future. I hope that we can hold those worries alongside our gratitude and our awareness of the present moment. Perhaps our concerns, even our frustrations, are evidence that we have something worth fighting for, even if it’s a dream not yet realized. Perhaps our fears for our friends and family or our grief for those we have lost points to the love we have in our hearts. That doesn’t negate the grief or fear or anger; rather, we recognize that those feelings have the companionship of love, gratitude, and determination. 

This week, I’ll continue putting the garden to bed now that we’ve had our first frost. I’ll cut back the vines of the warm season crops to give more light to the beets and the chard. I’ll take stock of the cherry tomatoes that I harvested ahead of the frost while they were still green, watching them carefully for signs of ripening in their cozy cardboard box. I’ll gather up dry leaves for the compost bin and gather in my potted plants. My sadness at the end of the season, my chagrin at all that was left undone, my concerns about what future growing seasons will look like all take refuge in my heart alongside my deep gratitude for the abundance of oxygen and color and hospitality for pollinators that the warm season provided. I am grateful that I could spend time with my hands in the dirt. I am grateful that I could bring fresh food to people I love. I am grateful for conversations with neighbors that would not have happened if I had not been outdoors. All of it lives together, the worry and the gratitude and the love. 

And so, as cliché as it is, let us go ahead and give thanks. Let us be grateful for the dream of what might be, for the people who share our values and who work to put them into practice, and for the present moment that gives us the chance to experience all the richness and fullness of this world. In cherishing that abundance, let it move us to actively inviting others to participate in abundance with us. 

We are freshly aware of the importance of finding allies and companions on the path of justice, equity, and compassion. It is incumbent on us to make room at the tables in our lives for the people who would share those commitments. This is more than a passive longing, it is a practice of asset mapping, planning, and implementation. The people in this morning’s story had to do more than open the gate. They set up additional tables and made them welcoming with a tablecloth and dishes. They rearranged themselves to make room. They shared what they had, and they accepted the gifts of the newcomers. If we are to follow that example, what does that mean in practical terms for our congregation, our neighborhoods, and our public life? How do we extend the invitation to abundance? 

We will continue to explore the practice of invitation in the months to come, and we don’t have much time today, so I want to briefly mention some things that are already happening: work toward accessibility, making space for Transgender people, and opportunities to be neighborly to new arrivals in this country. 

First, let’s give thanks for the spirit of accessibility that is sweeping this congregation. The new temporary ramp in the sanctuary is a visible example. The Board is considering bids for improving the railing to the ramp outside the building, lighting in the parking lot and on the exterior stairs, and assistive listening devices. The rearrangement of the front of the sanctuary to comply with fire codes will make all of us safer in case of an emergency, recognizing that people with mobility concerns most urgently need to be considered in our emergency preparedness. There is more we can do, and I hope this momentum continues in the spirit of lavish hospitality and truly inclusive welcome. 

Second, we know that Transgender, nonbinary, gender non-conforming, intersex, and other gender-diverse people are under extreme threat in this country and all over the world. We need communities like this one to welcome us, be in solidarity with us, give us space for our needs and our gifts, and be open to transformation in the service of justice and kindness. It matters that this congregation updated your restrooms to be inclusive. It matters that you normalized sharing pronouns in introductions and nametags. It matters that you display your LGBTQ pride in signage and social media. In addition to the Trans and nonbinary and gender diverse people attending as members and friends, I know there are extremely proud parents of Trans and nonbinary people in this congregation. 

There is more to do. The work of unlearning gender essentialism and internalized transphobia is lifelong, even for those of us who are Trans and nonbinary. Legislative attacks are increasing, and this congregation’s active response would communicate sincerity in your welcome. We can explore some of this in our four-session study group this winter, when we’ll be reading Authentic Selves: Celebrating Trans and Nonbinary People and Their Families every other Wednesday in January and February. 

Third, our commitment to welcome new neighbors who are immigrants, refugees, and asylum seekers matters. This congregation raised money for the I-RISE walk, and the congregation is currently renting the parsonage to a newly arrived family through I-RISE’s Affordable Housing Corporation. I-RISE is Interfaith Refugee and Immigrant Services and Empowerment, a coalition of which we are a part that operates a network of services at four centers in New Jersey. At the I-RISE community meeting this past week, Pastor Seth Kaper-Dale said that the outgoing federal administration is fast-tracking services to refugees to try to help them secure legal status before mid-January. I-RISE expects to serve 400 new arrivals in the next month and a half, which is half of the total number of newcomers they expected to serve in 2025. This will be a sprint, after which I-RISE will return to long-term strategies to help our new neighbors to make their home in New Jersey. 

During this sprint, there are many opportunities to connect with I-RISE. If you own an AirB&B unit that you can reserve short term for refugees, or a ground-level storage unit that can hold incoming donations of furniture, they want to hear from you. Students home for holiday breaks can find short-term employment picking up families from the airport and performing other tasks. Volunteers who are good at filling out forms and being patient will be needed at paperwork clinics for clients who will be self-filing asylum claims. As always, they need warm coats, as many of our new neighbors are arriving with very little from places that are warmer than New Jersey. As Pastor Seth says, immigrants are a blessing, not a burden. Welcoming the stranger is a fundamental ethical principle in many spiritual traditions, including Unitarian Universalism. 

There are other ways this congregation is building a longer table. Your work in dismantling racism and white supremacy is ongoing, and there is more to do. Members have put a great deal of commitment into welcoming families with children, and we can keep going on that path. The investments you made into technology and multi-platform worship continue to bear fruit, making worship accessible to people near and far. The spiritual practice of invitation is calling us onward. 

May we find reasons for gratitude in this season of change and preparation. May the abundance in our lives overflow into practices that put hospitality and inclusion into action. May we all be blessed in our pluralism, our interdependence, and our generosity. 

So be it. Blessed be. Amen. 

[heartbash]

get to know your moots

thank you @loubetcha!

what’s the origin of your blog title? It's an anagram of a username I had on an ancient XF forum.

otp(s) + shipname(s): Mulder/Scully (MSR), Rebecca/Nathaniel (Rethaniel)

favorite color: Red

favorite game: Outer Wilds, The Last of Us, Zelda: Breath of the Wild, It Takes Two, Super Mario World, Mario Kart

song stuck in your head: Clearest Blue by CHVRCHES

weirdest habit/trait? I love following directions. I create "systems" for everything in my life. It's a sickness.

hobbies: Playing clarinet, reading, writing, playing video games, cooking, paint-by-number

if you work, what’s your profession? I'm currently unemployed (long story), but my career is in corporate finance (FP&A).

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Musician in the Chicago Symphony Orchestra

something you’re good at: My job, playing the clarinet, writing in character (I hope), logic puzzles

something you’re bad at: Accepting/seeking help

something you love: My nieces (ages 1.5 and almost 3), media where you need a deep dive analysis and timeline to understand what the hell is happening (Lost, Dark, Severance, Primer, Infinite Jest, House of Leaves, etc.)

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Outer Wilds, Mulder and Scully's relationship, personal finance, my nieces

something you hate: The dentist, honestly going to any doctor

something you collect: Anxieties

something you forget: Why I came into this room, where my AirPods are

what’s your love language? Quality time

favorite movie/show: When Harry Met Sally, The X-Files, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Dark, Severance, Hamilton, Waitress

favorite food: Soup dumplings, ramen, panang curry, okonomiyaki, Brussels sprouts, fried chicken sandwiches (realizing this is a very strange list)

favorite animal: Birds

what were you like as a child? Shy, independent

favorite subject at school? Math, music, English

least favorite subject? Geography, history

what’s your best character trait? I'm disciplined, reliable, funny, analytical, and honest.

what’s your worst character trait? I care too much about what other people think, and I care too much about being "right" (both of which I'm working on).

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? The temperature! It's been too damn cold here.

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet? My great-aunt Fritzie. She passed before I was born, but from what I've heard about her, I think we would connect.

recommend one of your favorite fanfics: you're my lovely queen, i'm your dirty king by @justwanted2dance

tags if you feel so inclined! @pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace @justwanted2dance @eyesontheskyline

[thelampisaflashlight]

(disclaimer: i am telling you this because i think there's a chance you might find it mildly entertaining, pls feel free to ignore it)

I haven't been reading EGO because I know it'll upset me too much (the criteria for what kind of angst will upset me is. unpredictable.) but I keep seeing the little side posts you make and going ".... What the heck is going on in there (affectionate but perplexed)"

and I just read the new post about Lamb and Jeremy and the part about Jeremy's bodily fuilds glowing, and it was like a thousand puzzle pieces suddenly connected in one blinding flash of realization, like the spiritual opposite of the lady with the algebra flying around her head except instead of triangles and math it's the phrase 'highlighter dick', and I exclaimed, out loud to myself in my empty house, "Wait, did Swiss do the do with Lamb??????"

He absolutely did, and, yeah, yeah it actually was a plot point lmao

Also completely understandable on the not reading the EGO series, it's primarily angst centered around interpersonal/general relationship issues and it gets a bit heavy.

I am, however, working on another series (which I have to draft out) that's going to be friends to lovers, and, as decided through the power of consulting Comet, it's going to be of the SwissRainDrop variety.

But going back to Lamb and Swiss (a very odd sandwich that), I was like, "Swiss is too curious for his own good." and after writing A Nightlight For Your Pride, I was like, "Yeah, he's into it."

Something, something, "Look at the man I pulled by being a sentient glowstick."

[spacefinch]

Magic School Bus incorrect quotes

Carlos: Hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water.

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Carlos: My cereal is loud and it’s demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and god so thoughtlessly.

Phoebe: How does it taste?

Carlos: Bad.

Dorothy Ann: The fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting into CO2 and H2O over time. And carbonic acid is— as an acid— sour. By adding milk to sour water, you’ve created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I’ll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is not great.

Carlos: I have mastered the potion “Instant Spoiled Milk” earning me the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.

Ralphie: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks!

Keesha: Why would I do that?

Ralphie: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

Izzy (my OC): So basically I

Mikey: rimce 🍚

Izzy: Does nothing matter to you?

Mikey: rimce 🍚

Phoebe: She was poetry, he couldn’t read

Ralphie: his name was jarred, he’s nineteen

Carlos: When his parents built a very strange machine

Dorothy Ann: Watch that scene dig in the dancing queen

Tim: Eyyyyy Macarena

Keesha: Horrible job everyone

Phoebe: My talent is identifying birds.

Wanda: Okay, what’s this one?

Phoebe: Yep. It’s definitely a bird.

Carlos: Have you heard of Murphy’s law?

Phoebe: Yep

Carlos: Have you heard of Cole’s law?

Phoebe: I haven’t

Carlos: It is thinly sliced cabbage

Phoebe: How dare you

Carlos: “The Walking Dad” but it’s just a guy walking around the house turning off lights and muttering that he’s “not made of money.”

Mr. Ramon: CARLOS!! You left your bedroom light on again! I told you, I’m not made of money!

Phoebe: Why does anyone try to fight a goose?

Tim: Sometimes the goose gives you no option.

Tim: 🎵 The head bone’s connected to the neck bone🎵

Keesha: 🎵The neck bone’s connected to the neck bone

Carlos: 🎵 The neck bone’s connected to the neck bone

Dorothy Ann: There are seven cervical vertebrae

Ralphie: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Keesha: Why are you guys reblogging this in December?

Phoebe: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Wanda: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Keesha: It is February, you ANIMALS

Carlos: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Mikey: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Carlos: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Arnold: Being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also the horrors.

Carlos: Not all math puns are bad.

Carlos: Just sum of them.

Mikey: Dad, what’s for dinner?

Carlos: Dad, we’re hungry!

Izzy: Dad, what’s for dinner?

Carlos: Dad, we’re HUNGRY!

Mr. Ramon, trying to cook: *screams*

Carlos: Party time!

Carlos: *enters room*

Carlos: Eyyyyy! Everybody clap your hands!

Everyone: *clap clap clap clap clap*

Wanda; My DNA test results came back positive. I definitely have DNA.

Tim: Quit bragging.

Carlos: I’m glad to report that Hot Dr. Pepper was a success at my family’s Christmas dinner.

Carlos: Might be because I told everyone it was tea at first, except Mikey, who saw me pouring a bottle of Dr. Pepper into a hot pan and just immediately went “Woah can I have some of that?”

Keesha: *filming*

*camera pans over*

Keesha: Hi!

Arnold: … Okay.

Tim: I swear, the next one of you to say “weird flex, but okay” is going to regret it.

Carlos: …

Phoebe: …

Keesha: …

Dorothy Ann: Preposterous boast, but alas.

Tim: *sigh*

Wanda: If you have knees, you are valid.

Tim: Homophobes have knees, too.

Wanda: Not for long.

Ralphie: What means “I hate you” in dinosaur?

Carlos: No. Dinosaur is the language of love.

[a-captions-blog]

[Image descriptions: A Tweet thread by don(25) @VvuXian that starts with a Tweet that says: ‘omg...the cutest thing just happened at work it’s like a fic. i’m gonna do a thread, spoiler it’s a love story.’ Full thread transcription follows.

for those who don’t know: i work at the ticket counter for an airline. this older lady (i’m guessing 70) comes to the counter and says she needs some help/has a question and is wondering if i could help. i tell her go ahead she explains that she’s supposed to meet someone coming in on a specific flight (she tells me the flight number) from spain, but the plane laded and hour age and they didn’t show up. she wants to know if that person was on the plane problem is, i’m not allowed to give out that kind of information and i tell her so. she just nods and says that she understands but looks really sad, so i ask her what happened turns out she met another woman on the plane. they flew in from canada on the same plane and sat next to each other but had different connecting flights in spain. the old lady tells me she fell in love with that woman during those 11something hours and they promised to meet here now my gay heart is moved but i’m still not allowed to give her information about passengers. i advice her to maybe have her called outy or if she has her phone number, she can use our phone and call her she says she has already tried calling her but she can’t reach her. she’s ready to give up and she looks really sad, and i’m just as sad as her, but she leaves. i kind of can’t stop thinking about it. but the story isn’t over here one hour later, so just a few minutes ago, another old lady comes to the counter. she is not with me but with my coworker, and i’m in the back and eating. i hear how she says that she needs some help. she’s waiting for someone to arrive from spain. me, in the back: [photo collage of an East Asian person looking confused as maths symbols float by their head] i basically drop my sandwich and go out front to the counter. outside is another older lady, also around 70. i ask her, have you by any chance just arrived from spain? she said yes. i try not to lose it and hastily look through the papers at my computer you see, just before the first lady left, i told her she could leave her number with me, just in case. thank (caps) god (end caps) she did. i call her and when she picks up i say “hi X, there’s someone here at the counter looking for you.” she sounds out of this world excited on the phone and i hand it over so they can talk to each other and the lady at the counter says “hurry, dear, i miss you” when i tell you i almost started (caps) sobbing (end caps) only 10 minutes later, the lady from before is hurrying back to the counter. luckily she hadn’t left the airport. the two of them rush towards each other and hug. it’s like a (caps) movie (end caps) i swear they thanked me about a thousand times for helping them unite and i’m honestly just happy this got a happy ending. they leave eventually, holding hands [three sobbing blob emoji] they came back together, another 5 minutes later, with this as a gift for me (it’s a chocolate bunny) and honestly I am still so over this story. [photo of a Lindt chocolate bunny]. The follow up image is the reaction image showing Snoop Dogg holding a sign that says, ‘This is the Cutest shit Ive ever seen.’ \End descriptions]

Im.. Soft 🥺🥺🥺

cr. 

[mokimoriwrites]

6/16 - Prince in a Tower (part 7)

I spent the next three days in and out of a daze. I was so tired after my conversation with Saoradh the day I awoke that my limbs felt heavy and my eyes struggled to stay open.

So I slept, waking only for a few moments when one of the other serving girls would gently shake me awake when they brought breakfast or dinner. 

It wasn't until the fourth day that I started to feel any better and was more awake again. 

“Oh, wonderful! I was wondering when you'd wake up properly.” Saoradh’s smile was what greeted me that afternoon. He was sitting beside my bed, writing in a small green leather-bound book which he promptly slid into his sleeves when I sat up. “Feeling any better?” 

I nodded, stretching as I came into my surroundings again. 

“Brilliant. Why don't we have lunch together? I’ll have Seanchais prepare it, nd we can work on how to get you back home. I'm sure you're eager to see your family again.” 

With that, he left, leaving me to bathe and dress and stretch any remaining heavy sleepiness from my limbs while he went about settling the matter of lunch for us. 

When I finally managed to get myself decently put together, Saoradh was out on the balcony with a little table piled high with food. 

Bowls of fruit, little sandwiches, like meat pies, some pastries, and tea. A perfect lunch, really. 

“Well then, L, little Bird, dig in!” He smiled, waving his hand over the food as I took my seat. “I didn't know what you liked, so I thought a little of everything would work nicely.” 

I smiled, nodding as I took one of the tiny meat pies and set it onto my plate. 

Our lunch went well; small talk, smiles, jovial banter, little brushes of the hand as we passed things back and forth. 

Saoradh was as gentle and kind as he was handsome, with arpy features with soft eyes, and long hair all dressed up in shades of green. My apprehension about the tower and his kingdom’s war on mine wasn't gone, of course, but it was hard to be on edge when he kept acting like we were old friends. 

“How old were you when they put you in the tower?” He was back to our game of questions and answers again. For every one I answered, I got to ask one, my paper and ink back in front of me after lunch had been cleared away. 

‘Shortly before my fifteenth birthday.’

“And when is your birthday?” his gaze was flicking between my face and the paper he held in front of him. I smiled and shook my head, passing him another with my own question. 

‘How old are you? You don't look much older than I am.’

“I think I am quite a few old years er than you,ittle Bird, he laughed, eyes crinkling around the edges, “Though I appreciate the comment on my youthful beauty.” He flicked his hair back over his shoulder in jest. “I'm I'mder than your father certainly, let's leave it at that. Now, if you were almost fifteen, then that would make you… nearly twenty? Twenty-one?” 

My birthday is towards the end of the Summer, close to Heathen’s summer festival. I’ll be twenty-one this year if my math is correct.’

“Nearly six years in that hellish place… And you have no idea why you were put there?”

I shook my head again,..e had asked this many times since we first met. Though I suppose it makes sense. If he was also trapped in that tower, then I'm sure his connection to it was as strong as it was terrible. I had never known that my family used it as a prison… What else were they hiding from me?

‘I have no idea. My father quite literally dragged me out of my bed and through the front door before tossing me into a carriage and not speaking to me at all for the whole week’s journey. I was left in the tower with a letter explaining that they would come get me after three years.’ 

“How foreboding… that place isn't somewhere one just tosses children, what could you have possibly done to deserve that hell? It was designed for only the worst of prisoners, really.” 

‘How long were you in the tower?’ I had been dying to know since he admitted to being a prisoner in it as well. 

He stared at the question for a while, silent with a furrow in his brow as the paper sat on the table before him. I was in the middle of taking it back to ask a different, less invasive question when he grabbed my hand.

“Nearly four decades…” He whispered. “More than thirty years, and all of it was hell.” 

Thirty… nearly forty. Add that onto how old he was when he was placed in there, nd… There was no way. He couldn't be… Older than my father for certain, he was barely exiting his forties by now. 

“Older than you thought, L, little Bird?” he smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. 

I nodded, flushed with embarrassment. Quickly scribbling and passing him another note. ‘You don't look any older than twenty-five if I'm honest. I would have never been able to guess you were older than that.’ 

He laughed, still it sounded hollow, “True, I certainly look far younger than most of your kind would think.” 

He stared at me in silence for another moment, watching me carefully. Dark green eyes tracing my face as he seemed to consider his next question.

“Eibhlin… Are you from the royal family of Iheathen?” 

I froze, and that seemed to be enough for him.

[idigitizellp]

Tiny Chefs, Big Lessons: What Cooking Teaches Preschoolers

There’s something magical about tiny hands mixing batter, sprinkling cheese, or assembling their favorite sandwich. While the kitchen may seem like an unlikely classroom, it’s full of rich learning opportunities for preschoolers. Getting children involved in simple cooking activities not only keeps them entertained but also builds the foundation for skills they’ll carry for a lifetime.

Measuring More Than Ingredients

Through cooking, children explore essential math and science concepts in an engaging and tasty manner. Whether counting out cherry tomatoes, measuring flour, or observing how heat turns dough into bread, preschoolers are learning through hands-on experience. These moments teach concepts like quantity, sequencing, and cause and effect. When a child stirs batter and sees it transform in texture, they are experiencing science in one of the most hands-on, relatable ways.

Language That Sticks

Following a recipe, even a visual one, improves language and comprehension. Children learn new vocabulary, whisk, stir, chop, blend, and begin to understand step-by-step instructions. When adults talk children through the process, asking questions like, “What comes next?” or “What does this smell like?” promotes communication, enhances memory, and develops storytelling abilities. Cooking becomes a natural opportunity for expanding vocabulary and practicing listening.

Fine Motor Fun

Preschoolers love to be hands-on, and cooking is a fine motor goldmine. Tasks like tearing lettuce, squeezing lemons, rolling dough, or placing fruit on a skewer strengthen the small muscles in their hands. These movements are not just fun, they help prepare children for writing, drawing, and other precise tasks. Plus, using real tools (safely adapted for young kids) builds confidence and coordination.

A Dash of Independence

There’s a special sense of pride that comes from saying, “I made this myself!” Giving children cooking tasks suited to their age builds their confidence and fosters a sense of empowerment. Cooking nurtures a sense of independence, role, and self-worth. They begin to understand the importance of cleanliness, organization, and safety. It also helps develop patience, turning the wait for cookies to bake into an important learning moment.

Healthy Habits Start Early

Children who participate in cooking are more inclined to sample new foods. Preparing fruits, vegetables, and balanced meals helps them develop a positive relationship with food. They begin to understand the journey of food from its source to the plate, fostering a meaningful connection with what they consume. It’s a subtle but effective way to encourage healthy choices without turning mealtime into a battle. Healthy eating habits for preschoolers start at home, and parents play a vital role in guiding and supporting these early food experiences.

Teamwork at the Table

Cooking together fosters teamwork and social interaction. Whether they are taking turns stirring or working together to put a snack together, preschoolers learn valuable lessons in cooperation and sharing. They begin to build empathy and understand the importance of teamwork, turning even a spilled ingredient into a challenge they solve side by side.

At Elzee Preschool, cooking with preschoolers goes beyond just making food, it’s a recipe for growth. It’s a way to help tiny hands absorb big lessons in an atmosphere full of warmth, curiosity, and joyful discovery. Next time your little one asks to help in the kitchen, say yes. Let the flour fly, welcome the mess, and enjoy the moment.

Because at Elzee, we believe you are not just making a snack, you are nurturing a lifelong love for learning.

[edugamingappworld]

Building Bright Futures: Engaging Kindergarten Math Activities Every Parent Should Know

For young children, learning should feel like an adventure—not a chore. Nowhere is this more evident than in early mathematics education, where colorful experiences and interactive play can ignite curiosity and lay the foundation for future academic success. Kindergarten Math Activities are crucial at this stage, not just to teach numbers and shapes but to nurture reasoning, pattern recognition, and problem-solving from the ground up.

One of the most exciting ways to introduce children to foundational math is through digital learning tools. Parents looking for interactive and meaningful practice should consider apps like those from Edugamingappworld, available for download on Google Play. These engaging tools combine play and pedagogy to ensure your kindergartener not only learns but loves the process.

Why Early Math Exposure Matters

Kindergarten is a child’s first structured step into formal education. At this age, their brains are incredibly receptive to new information, making it the ideal time to introduce basic concepts like counting, shapes, measurement, and number recognition.

Research shows that children who develop early math skills are more likely to excel in all areas of education, including reading and writing. Math builds cognitive flexibility, improves memory, and encourages logical thinking. It’s no wonder that so many early childhood educators emphasize mathematics from the very beginning.

Core Concepts in Kindergarten Math

Math for kindergarteners isn’t just about adding and subtracting. It involves several interconnected skill areas, including:

Number Sense: Recognizing, counting, and comparing numbers.

Patterns and Sorting: Identifying similarities, differences, and sequencing.

Shapes and Spatial Awareness: Learning geometric names and their attributes.

Measurement and Comparison: Understanding size, length, and volume.

Basic Operations: Introducing addition and subtraction through visual aids and real-life examples.

Each of these areas plays a critical role in forming the child’s relationship with numbers, logic, and problem-solving.

Making Math Fun and Effective

Kids thrive when they learn through exploration and play. Structured activities infused with creativity and variety ensure children stay engaged and excited. Here are some fun and educational Kindergarten Math Activities that parents and teachers can use to keep math interesting:

1. Counting with Everyday Objects

Use small toys, buttons, or even cereal pieces to practice counting and grouping. Ask your child to count items by color or type, or challenge them to sort items by size. These tactile activities help reinforce number recognition and quantity.

2. Shape Hunts

Send kids on a “shape scavenger hunt” around the house or classroom. Look for circles in clocks, squares in picture frames, and triangles in sandwich slices. Real-world context helps children connect abstract concepts to tangible examples.

3. Simple Board Games

Classic games like "Chutes and Ladders" or "Candy Land" involve counting, turn-taking, and direction following. These are soft skills that pair beautifully with early math lessons.

4. Pattern Play

Use colored beads, blocks, or stickers to form patterns and sequences. Then, challenge children to complete or continue the pattern. This strengthens both visual discrimination and logical sequencing.

5. Measurement with Non-Standard Units

Ask children to measure a table using spoons or their hands. This makes measurement relatable and encourages estimation skills, even before they’re introduced to rulers and units like inches or centimeters.

Digital Tools that Amplify Learning

While hands-on activities are crucial, modern parents and educators are turning increasingly to digital platforms for structured learning support. That’s where educational apps come in.

Apps created by Edugamingappworld provide a wealth of learning experiences specifically designed for kindergarten math. These apps feature:

Interactive Games: Tap, drag, and match your way through fun learning levels.

Visual Learning Aids: Bright visuals and animations make abstract concepts understandable.

Positive Reinforcement: Stars, badges, and fun sounds reward accuracy and effort.

Curriculum-Aligned Content: Activities follow educational standards to ensure the right skills are developed.

These features make learning dynamic, memorable, and fun—especially for children who are digital natives.

Balancing Screen Time and Hands-On Learning

While digital tools are valuable, it’s important to strike a balance between screen-based and physical activities. Use educational apps for focused learning time and reinforce lessons with offline play. For instance, if a child learns counting from an app, let them apply the skill by helping you count socks during laundry or apples during snack prep.

Involving Parents in Math Learning

The most successful learners are those who receive reinforcement at home. Parents can do a lot to support math readiness:

Praise efforts, not just results. Encourage the process of learning, not just the right answers.

Ask math questions during daily routines. “How many grapes do you want?” or “Can you give me two more blocks?”

Make mistakes okay. Reinforce that errors are part of learning. Correct them gently and move on.

Model positive attitudes. Children mimic adult behavior—if you speak positively about math, they’re more likely to feel the same.

Long-Term Benefits of Early Math Confidence

When children feel competent in math from a young age, it changes the way they approach problem-solving for life. Confidence in addition, subtraction, patterns, and counting lays a solid foundation for later concepts like multiplication, division, fractions, and even algebra.

Moreover, math sharpens critical thinking and analysis—skills that apply across all subjects and future careers, from science and engineering to business and everyday life.

Final Thoughts

Early math doesn’t have to be rigid or dull. With the right combination of physical play, structured activities, and digital tools, children can learn while laughing, exploring, and engaging with their world. Kindergarten Math Activities are not just about numbers—they are about nurturing curious minds and empowering future thinkers.

For parents ready to give their kids a jumpstart, downloading interactive apps from Edugamingappworldon Google Play is a great place to begin. These thoughtfully designed apps make early learning accessible, enjoyable, and remarkably effective.

[lowercasenospaces]

People are so often desperate to label diverse categories of things as black or white.

"I'm not a dog person" / "I don't like sandwiches" / "I don't like reading" / "superhero movies are bad" / "you shouldn't put fruit on pizza"

All of which are only half a step removed from

"Asians are good at maths" / "black people are athletic" / "indigenous people are connected to nature" / "women are naturally caring"

Which is only half a step again from bigotry / supremacy.

I've learned to distrust absolutism.

Can I just say this weird social media push of "girl cat boy cat" pisses me off there was this girl i overheard who was petting a cat who was showing her a lot of love and talking about adopting her but when she found out she was a girl cat she was like "I don't like girl cats" like what the fuck are we doing misogyny against cats now

[whennnow]

A Stash-Busting Toiletry Bag

January 21, 2025

I saw a few toiletry bags on Pinterest right around Christmas, and for some reason that really got my brain going. I suddenly decided that I needed a toiletry bag that would fit all of my travel toiletries perfectly.

Now, this isn't completely out of the blue - after a week-and-a-half-long trip to Germany last spring and a weekend camping trip in the fall it became clear that the second-hand cosmetic bag I was using just wasn't big enough. But how much space would I need?

Inventory of Contents

In order to avoid making the bag too small (which was my current problem) or too large (things would rattle around and get disorganized), I decided to take stock of what I wanted to fit inside the bag.

It's a pretty extensive list. Shampoo, conditioner, dry shampoo, face wash, shower gel, moisturizer, lotion, face sunscreen, toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, mouth wash, deodorant, and a hairbrush. Plus, ideally, a phone charger, spare hair ties and bobby pins, menstrual products, and a lipstick and mascara (thankfully I never wear more makeup than that).

Then, I measured everything. All seven bottles I have are the same width and depth, and there's only about an inch difference in height. The moisturizer and sunscreen are in small tubs/canisters. The deodorant is a full-sized one. The brush was my biggest issue, being irregularly shaped.

I also did some test arrangements to see how things would fit together, and combined that with the measurements to decide the dimensions of my bag.

The Pattern

I opted for a simple rectangular shape inspired by the boxy, quilted cosmetic bags I had seen on Pinterest. I measured out the bottom of the rectangle I wanted and added the sides, tops, and ends, just like all the tutorials showed. I even made a small paper model to scale to make sure my math checked out!

And then I decided to complicate things.

I mean, my toiletries wouldn't be very organized if it was just a free-for-all inside the bag! Nothing would stay in place!

So I decided to add dividers.

[Img ID: A top-down photo of the pouch with both sides folded back to show the center divider, which consists of a small zippered pouch in the center, branching into a "V" of fabric on each end that attaches to the four corners of the larger pouch.]

Now, I can't honestly recall how my brain arrived at this idea, but I ended up with a central divider which is also a zippered pouch. It does not run the full length of the bag, but instead each end splits off into fabric tabs that are sewn into the corner seams. The divider is not connected to the bottom of the bag because I don't think that will be an issue for me.

This leaves me with two long areas along each side of the bag, a triangular area at each end, and a zippered pouch in the middle for small things like hair ties and bobby pins.

Supplies

With my plan firmly in place, it was time to gather my supplies.

I initially intended to grab some quilting cotton from the store, but thankfully remembered that I have a lot of quilting cotton in my stash and that this would be a good stashbusting project!

I found a dark blue floral that I inherited from my grandmother for the outside and a coordinating solid teal of unknown origin for the inside. I even had cotton batting in my stash, some sew-in interfacing, and thread to match the fabric already! I just needed to grab two zippers for the store - a longer one for the outside, and a shorter one for the inner pocket.

Construction

I started out by machine quilting the outside, making a fabric-batting-interfacing sandwich. I drew my seam lines and quilting lines on the interfacing first to act as guides, and when I was done, I cut the batting out of the seam allowances to reduce bulk.

Then, I tackled the inner pocket/divider. I wanted to do this in the same fabric as the lining, but didn't have nearly enough fabric (especially after cutting two pieces the wrong size), so I used more of the outer fabric.

The pocket/divider was made of four rectangles of fabric, used in pairs. Each pair had half of the zipper for the pocket sewn into the top and was sewn normally at the bottom, then was turned right side out, ironed, and topstitched along the top edge.

This left me with two rectangles, partially connected by a zipper. I used top stitching to close the sides and bottom of the pocket part. There were about 3in of fabric left on each end of the fabric, which I topstitched separately at the bottom, allowing them to move freely. I set this divider aside until I constructed the lining.

Next up was the handle. This was very simple, with two long rectangles of fabric and one of interfacing (though two layers of interfacing wouldn't have been a bad thing) sewn up the long sides, turned right side out, and top stitched along the long edges. This got pinned into place on the outer quilted fabric right away so I didn't lose or forget it.

At this point, I had to decide how the whole thing went together. I had a hard time wrapping my head around how to attach the zip and still make sure no seams showed inside the bag. In the end, I decided to make thing simpler for myself by assembling the lining, assembling the outer with the zip, and then just hand sewing the lining inside to the zipper.

So I started with the lining! First, I pressed the zipper seam allowances in, both as a guide for myself later and to keep them out of the way of other seams. Then, the edges of the top (with the zipper space in the middle) and the bottom were sewn together. This is the horizontal seam on each end. I then pinned the loose ends of the divider into the vertical corner seams, and the lining was done!

At this point, I put my toiletries into the lining to make sure my math had been right. I rounded my measurements up, so things were ever so slightly larger than I wanted, but that's okay.

Then, I could move on to assembling the outer.

The zipper was attached first, and I turned that seam allowance in and top stitched along the edge. Seams were sewn in the same order as the lining - top ends to bottom ends to create the horizontal seams on the ends of the bag, then the vertical corner seams. Obviously, there were no divider edges to catch, but I did need to make sure the handle on one end ended up where I wanted it.

After that, there was just hand sewing left!

I turned the quilted outer portion of the bag inside out and tacked the bottoms of the corner seams together to help the lining stay in place. Then, I turned it mostly right side out around the lining and tacked the upper corners together. Finally, I hand sewed the zipper edge of the lining, whose seam allowance I ironed earlier, to the zipper of the outer and was done.

Final Thoughts

I think this toiletry bag turned out super cute! It does indeed fit all of my travel toiletries, plus a phone charger and some small accessories.

My main regret is not putting a fabric tab on one end of the zipper opening. There's nothing for me to hold on to when unzipping the bag, which is mildly annoying, but thankfully doesn't impact the zipper's operation. I'll learn to live with it.

I also kind of wish I had attached the central divider to the bottom of the bag after all, but that sounds complicated. It's not a huge deal but I think it would have kept the bottom of the bag from sagging so much.

On the bright side of things, this project allowed me to de-stash one bit of fabric (the lining). I had to buy zippers, because I don't have any zips in my stash, but I used them both right away. The fabric, batting, interfacing, and thread all came from my stash.

Bonus Bag!

I still had a solid chunk of the outer fabric left, and I decided to turn most of it into a large drawstring bag which can be used as a shoe bag or dirty laundry bag when traveling!

It was a quick project - about half an hour. The bottom of the bag was folded, so I just french seamed the sides and sewed a casing for a drawstring at the top. I used some light blue ribbon from my stash as the drawstring, but it doesn't match well, so it may get a replacement if the opportunity.

There was still a small rectangle left of the fabric, which may go eventually become a sleep mask. Or maybe it'll just go into the hexie box.

Stay warm. Stay safe. Stay healthy.

[tokensbossh]

+50 PCS Marvel Jokes and Humor Super Heroes) Funny

Ah, Marvel fans—get ready to laugh till your cape comes off! Today, we’re venturing into a universe where jokes are just as super-powered as the heroes we idolize. From Iron Man's quippy retorts to Spider-Man's endless puns, Marvel has built an empire not just on action-packed storytelling but also on humor that keeps even the heaviest battles light. So, comic nerds, assemble! We've scoured the multiverse to bring you the finest Marvel-inspired jokes, quips, and puns that'll make any fan cackle like Loki after pulling off a grand mischief. Let’s kick things off with the quintessential star of sass, Tony Stark. Known for his razor-sharp wit and sarcasm, Iron Man is a one-liner machine that even Thor might call ‘worthy.’ Picture this: Iron Man walks into a bar—not because he wants a drink, but because the bar happened to be made of vibranium and was practically invisible. Tony’s response? “Not my brightest moment, but hey, at least it’s unbreakable like my ego!”

+50 PCS Marvel Jokes and Humor Super Heroes) Funny (2)

Marvel JOKES

- What do you call it when Loki plays a trick on Thor? A thor-ough prank. - Why did Spider-Man break up with his girlfriend? She found him too clingy. - What does Thor wear to keep the rain off? His thor-ella! - Why did Tony Stark never get lost? Because he always had his “Iron Directions.” - What’s Black Widow’s least favorite social media? LinkedIn—she’s got enough web connections! - What did Thanos say after he lost? "I guess I’m just half the man I used to be." - Why is Doctor Strange so bad at stand-up comedy? Because his jokes always bomb in alternate realities. - Why did Hulk stop dating? Because he kept getting ghosted. - What is Groot’s favorite hobby? Gardening—it’s all about root maintenance. - What did Captain Marvel bring to the picnic? Her marvelous sandwiches. - How does Spider-Man stay in shape? He’s always doing “whatever a spider can.” - What does Hawkeye do on his day off? He goes to the target store. - What’s Thor’s favorite type of workout? Hammer curls. - Why is Captain America good at making decisions? Because he always has a shield of confidence. - Why did Doctor Strange fail art class? He could never draw a straight line. - How did Thanos start his day? With a balanced breakfast… half snapped away. - Why does Iron Man make a good partner? Because he’s full of heart. - Why did Thor bring his hammer to the party? He didn’t want to get hammered alone. - What is Loki’s favorite kind of math? Division—especially of attention. - What’s Scarlet Witch’s favorite show? Reality TV. - Why did Groot get an award? Because he’s outstanding in his field! - What’s the Avengers’ favorite fast food? Anything marvel-ous and quick. - Why did the Avengers open a bakery? They kneaded the dough. - What’s Captain Marvel’s favorite sport? Space jump rope. - What did Hulk say when he joined the book club? “HULK SMASH—through this book list.” - Why was Black Panther always calm? He had vibranium nerves. - How do the Avengers send letters? Hawkeye-mail. - Why did Thanos open a pet store? For those who love animals but prefer half the responsibility. - What’s Thor’s favorite movie? The Lightning Thief. - Why did Loki get kicked out of school? He always had a trick up his sleeve. - How does Captain America start his workouts? With a shield stretch! - Why did Doctor Strange start a fitness program? To work on his core. - How did Rocket Raccoon pass the test? By a hair. - What’s Thanos’ favorite treat? Snap-dragon cookies. - Why didn’t Captain Marvel lend Iron Man her plane? He was grounded. - What’s Hulk’s favorite holiday? Green Friday. - What did Captain America say to Iron Man at breakfast? “Marvel-ous morning, Tony.” - Why does Spider-Man make a bad salesman? He always sticks to his own side. - Why did the Avengers start a band? They had great composition. - Why does Hulk love gardening? He’s got a real green thumb. - Why did Doctor Strange go back to school? To learn more strange subjects. - Why doesn’t Iron Man get shocked? Because he’s well-grounded. - How does Thor get through difficult days? He hammers his way through! - What’s Ant-Man’s favorite snack? Miniature muffins. - Why did Black Widow go to therapy? Because her life’s been full of webs. - How does Captain Marvel take her coffee? Out of this world! - What’s Loki’s least favorite video game? Fort-night. - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite video game? Web of War. - Why did Iron Man lose his phone? He couldn’t find the signal. - Why does Doctor Strange make a good teacher? He always knows the way through challenging topics.

+50 PCS Marvel Jokes and Humor Super Heroes) Funny (2) - Why did Tony Stark hire a life coach? Because he needed some guidance systems in his personal life. - Why does Thor avoid telling secrets in Asgard? Because there's always a chance of thunderous gossip! - What’s Loki’s favorite type of exercise? Deceptive squats—he loves lowering expectations and then surprising everyone!

+50 PCS Marvel Jokes and Humor Super Heroes) Funny (3) Assuming you let me know you have never seen a Wonder film, I will expect that you are either an outsider from a system far away or are disguising reality. Whether you love Wonder motion pictures, disdain Wonder films, or straightforwardly support DC just to pester your more youthful kin, you have undoubtedly seen somewhere around one MCU portion. The characteristic of Wonder motion pictures is that, dissimilar to independent movies, they make an entire universe. It's as of now not just about the big screen, yet additionally craftsmanship, fanfics, mashups, hybrids, and even hero jokes. Fans have taken jokes for comics to another level, transforming them into their very own specialty. The studio gives a decent part of the chuckles as well. Hidden little goodies in Wonder films can frequently extract a laugh from watchers, and the scholars make a point to remember clever chat for the discoursed too. Whether you favor princess Shuri, who continues to make fun of her sibling T'Challa, or Spiderman's closest companion Ned with his diverting responses, there are a lot of entertaining Wonder characters to look over. And, surprisingly, the ones that should be everything significant will have you multiplied over with a hilarious comment once in a while.

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