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whatifyoulivelikethat · 2 years ago

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not allowed, interlude | breathe

drabble: ‘not allowed’ series (myg+jjk), idol!BTS, based on real time pairing(s): yoongi x reader, mentions of jungkook x reader

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; all the serious feels heart eyes and super soft and so suga sweet you might get diabetes, sorry; occurs around the time of Japan dates of Yoongi's solo tour (when he's coughing and still giving the best performances of his life)

Min Yoongi, the man outside of SUGA and Agust D, calls you to tell you he's fed up and wants to break company rules. But mostly he calls you to confess and make you fall even more in love with him.

You could see him in the phone screen. Busying about in his hotel room, getting unready, not saying anything because all the basic pleasantries had already been said and, besides, Min Yoongi didn’t call you to tell you shit he could hear from anyone else. You heard him pour himself some water and sigh tiredly, the elation of the brightest smiles and shining eyes finally slipping away when all the adrenaline was now being processed and broken down.

Yoongi was glancing at your image on his phone every chance he got.

You didn’t say anything.

Just kept typing away until he was done and ready to say what he wanted to say. Occasionally, you would tilt your head and your eyes would connect at the exact same time, through miles and pixels and the magic of technology, and you could see the small smile touch Yoongi’s lips, just for a moment, and that expression would be mirrored by you, a moment as concrete as it was fleeting. Even after hours of pushing himself to the physical brink, Min Yoongi still looked perfect.

Samsung made good cameras.

Also, you were biased, so there was that.

It wasn’t like Yoongi to ask for a video call though. You didn’t ask for them either – you could simply do a quick search on Twitter and see how he was doing on show days. Everywhere he went, if it was public, you could see him, so there was no need to bug him about seeing his face. And Yoongi was used to closing his eyes and only seeing you that way when you couldn’t physically be there. That was usually enough.

Had to be enough.

Already not allowed to have you number, be your boyfriend, and all that shit.

You halted your typing and rested your chin in your palms as Yoongi sat down on the couch, puffing out air as if he was decades older than he was.

There was reasons Yoongi always booked himself so full when he was working, after all. You were the same way.

Better to be busy than to feel alone.

He looked up at you.

Pushed back his long, damp, black hair that was definitely slick with dried sweat and half a can of hairspray, but you weren’t there to scold him and drag him to the shower. All the hard work of the makeup artist had been sweat off or splashed off, not that it mattered when Yoongi had such a good dermatologist. You smiled at him and there was a flicker in those dark brown orbs, noting your expression. He could read you like you could read him.

The warm lamplight made his cheekbones glow.

Yoongi sat back and sipped his water.

You waited, patiently impatient.

“How’s Jungkook?”

…

Right. Caring about anyone else before himself. A signature Min SUGA move. “He’s working hard. Got tired of loafing around,” you hummed, bouncing the Shooky pancake plush keyring on your desk offscreen. “We all knew he would eventually suddenly go running off doing whatever he wants, when he wants. He’s in his own world.”

Yoongi coughed into the sleeve of his oversized grey t-shirt. “And we’re just living in it.”

“You have to admit, it’s nice here.”

He was chewing on his lip now. Breathing deeply. His voice had a rougher rasp to it due to the cough. Pretty awesome if it wasn’t for the visible wear of the edges of his demeanor. You could see the slump in his shoulders, the darkness under his eyes. His right hand wandered and rubbed up his left collarbone, up to his shoulder, and Yoongi was not quite looking at you but you could tell that he was seeing you just fine.

You didn’t need to tell him to take care of himself. He had plenty of staff that loved him enough to scold and care for him. He was still doing the concerts because he felt he could push though and because he didn’t want to disappoint ARMY that had paid their hard-earned money and blocked out their precious time to see him. He didn’t call you to be nagged at. He could call his parents for that. Still, you almost wondered, maybe, if that was what he wanted right now. Maybe he just wanted a moment of typical ordinary in his very special life.

He placed his glass on the table and looked into the image of you.

And then at the lens.

“Sometimes I forget,” Yoongi whispered softly.

You removed your palms from your chin, staring into dark brown orbs that held an ocean of emotions along with secrets he only told you. In these hotel lights, those eyes still held points of light, dancing ARMY bombs gleaming in the dark. Fresh and old memories.

“It’s only the stage, me, and the fans, and I forget everything else.”

There was a ruefulness in his honesty.

“I forget I’m tired,” he breathed out, elbows on his knees, looking down and away from the screen but you knew he was telling you because he wanted to. There was no one else he wanted to know things like this. “I forget I’ve got this annoying cough. I forget the worries I had before stepping on stage. I forget that I come back to an empty hotel room and I forget that I’m seriously considering breaking company rules, even if the only reason is so that I don’t have to turn on the lights myself.”

The way Yoongi looked into the lens, and you found yourself biting your lower lip.

A small sting of pain rather than saying anything before he was done, doing everything you could to listen because he wanted you to listen.

“I forget everything else and I think, I need to do everything I can to be here again.”

You knew your eyes were telling him so.

You can.

And his eyes were telling you something else.

I’m sorry I love this so much.

You exhaled and it came out in a light chuckle. Stupid. That’s why I love you. You shook your head, small smile ghosting your lips.

"The place you hold in their world is more special than you or I can even imagine. ARMY saved you as much as you saved them."

The shadows of black strands framed his dark eyes. You watched him and he watched you, saying the things he always said with his gaze alone. BTS couldn’t exist without ARMY. He wasn’t who he was without BTS. He couldn’t stand on stage confidently without ARMY and without BTS. He could find the strength to walk forward because of them. No questions asked.

“But, when I look at you,” Yoongi murmured, staring at your image on his screen. “It’s like I can breathe again.”

Fuck.

You hated it when Yoongi did stuff like that because you could feel the heat rush to your cheeks and no good reply was coming to mind.

His expression softened.

“I’m doing everything I can to prepare.”

Yeah, I know, you wanted to say, but Yoongi kept gazing at you like that, with faded lights in those dark brown orbs. It must have been the angle or the lamps in the hotel room or something like that. He coughed slightly, hiding behind the back of his hand. The side of his mouth ticked upwards and you knew he read your reply from your expression.

“I just wanted to see your face so I could finally breathe.”

There was a tightness in your throat and it was not connected to any physical ailment.

“Don’t make me love you only to miss you,” you managed to get out.

The smirk was playful. His usual self.

“Sorry.”

Some (n)-ice guy.

Your eyes followed the length of his black hair, the angle of his jaw, and you wanted to hold him in your hands. Maybe shake some sense into him until he played dead. Maybe press your forehead to his and not say anything at all. Anything but… Yoongi could tell you now when he cried. He admitted it to remind everyone he was human.

You breathed in and you saw the tension in his features lessen as you do so.

“I can’t believe you,” you scoffed.

The tip of his pink tongue darted across his lower lip as he smirked, tucking into his cheek. “Hm?”

You still couldn’t tell Yoongi when you cried.

You also knew he appreciated it. Yes, it was selfish of him and selfish of you, and maybe that would change one day, but for now there were moments like this, despite the miles and pixels and with the magic of technology, and you, too, could finally breathe, really breathe, a feeling that was past physical constraints.

Nothing like this.

“A soul drawing a breath is different,” you sighed, placing your chin in your palms again, fanning your fingers over your cheeks, seeing him on your phone. Right beside you, always there.

Yoongi smiled softly, the way he always did but people always forgot.

“I’m lucky to have you.”

You flicked you head as if to say, I know, and he laughed, the action mixing with coughs, but it was a fun intermission, not a worrying one.

“Ah, can you ghostwrite my songs?” he snickered. “A ghost taking my place so I can zone out.”

You stuck out your tongue. “You made those promises, Min Yoongi. You. Just do it.”

He let out an aggravated sigh that sounded a bit too much like Jeon Jungkook.

Hm.

Might explain the rise of duck-face photos.

I just wanted to see your face so I could finally breathe.

You thinned your mouth into a line, puffing your cheeks.

Eyes shifting and found his at the same moment his head lowered from flinging it back to be dramatically childish. You smiled and he mirrored you and it was so stupid that it was so simple but it was so simple that it was so stupidly right. You act like I don’t know, Yoongi. Like I didn’t watch you from fearing the stage to loving it. Like I don’t want you to love it with your whole heart. Isn’t anything worth doing worth your whole heart, my love?

He said your name, only that, and it meant a million things.

There was more than one way to say I love you.

You said his name back to him, in the same tone, and he knew.

Min Yoongi, I would give up on loving you if it meant that you would stay this happy on stage with BTS and ARMY for the rest of your life.

He hummed thoughtfully, shrugging. “Should I break company rules and fly you over here using the company card?”

You laughed. “Just so I can turn on the lights before you get back to the hotel? Will you list me as most valuable light master?”

“Can’t list you as most valuable dick sucker or they would get quite mad.”

It was not going to happen but you found Yoongi said these kinds of things more often lately. Maybe you and him were now at that stage where you could joke about it freely without feeling any pressure. Maybe he was getting older and noticed how fast time was moving. Maybe he had no more fucks to give.

Probably the latter.

“You know it’s not that impossible for us to meet, right? Since you’re on this side of the world again.”

Yoongi turned his head and half-frowned, carelessly ruffling up the back of his hair with one hand. Casually sexy with his unintentional intentional cough and raspy reply.

“Yeah, but I feel like causing trouble.”

That was your Min Yoongi, all right.

drabble. 'seven' days a week | jjk

drabbles masterpost | masterpost

#yoongi x reader #bts drabble #yoongi x you #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you #yoonkook x reader #yoonkook x you

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skamp3r · 2 months ago

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HELELO MORE ART OF MY CHARACTERS BECAUSE I LOVE THEM

I love. phones.im on firereee

#samsung note series #samiverse #samsung note 1 #samsung galaxy note 7 #samsung phones #samsung #i fucking love samsung notes #osc oc art #osc oc #osc community #osc art #osc #object show community #object oc #object show community art

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scratchybongvt · 1 month ago

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Eleventh Gear

What you’re about to witness is the pilot episode of Tom’s Eleventh Gear, the most absurd motorsport show ever conceived, set in the glorious chaos of 2018.

Tom first met his North American "friend," Powder, in 2017. Their partnership quickly spiraled into chaos as Tom developed a dual obsession with cars and music later that year. At the same time, he was making waves with Brazil’s most iconic mascot-driven band, Divertidos por Natureza. Because, naturally, there’s always room for both rock anthems and ridiculous side quests in Tom’s world.

The idea for a motorsport show came about one month after Tom started driving lessons—a process he routinely ignored. Confident in his not-so-solid skills, he decided to test himself by driving Vinicius (yes, the Rio Olympics mascot) from their home in the Tijuca Forest to the Nilton Santos Olympic Stadium. Things went predictably south. On the way, Tom managed to crash into the street sign for Rua Vinicius de Moraes.

But instead of shame, Tom had an epiphany: "What if I made a motorsport show... and made it stupid?" And thus, the madness began.

By 2019, the series was picked up by a local TV station, becoming an instant cult hit. What Tom didn’t know, however, was that Powder secretly left at the end of 2019 to pursue a career as a scientist in Arizona. In her absence, she had created a series of genetically engineered clones to replace her on the show. Tom, oblivious as always, never noticed the switch.

Let us be clear: this motorsport show is beyond ridiculous. Under no circumstances should you attempt any of the stunts you see here—not even with professionals. We take no responsibility for your stupidity.

Just remember: Tom is a lovable idiot, and Powder, whether in person or in clone form, has always been the smart one. Buckle up.

Woah! Hello everyone! Welcome to the CRAZEE BONKERZ MOTORSPORT SHOW!!! The most EPIC show that involves an engine wrapped in a sheet of aluminum! This week we will put all things Motorsport to the test! How many working ice cream machines we can find until the gas runs out? Stay tuned to find out!

Crazee bonkerz speaker challenge!

So, Swifty (that’s Powder, but I call her Swifty because it makes her MAD and that’s FUNNY) and I—Tom, your handsome narrator—just bought ourselves a 2011 Toyota Land Cruiser Prado. Why? BECAUSE WE COULD. And this baby’s got FEATURES. Like… a SPEAKER. Singular. A true marvel of engineering.

Now, I, being the genius that I am, had a groundbreaking thought: What if we BLAST music at full volume? Could we—oh, I don’t know—MAKE THE CAR EXPLODE??? A science experiment was BORN.

Swifty, in her infinite uncoolness, goes, “Let’s play that Rick song everyone talks about.” And I, superior in every way, yelled, “YES. ‘THE CUP OF LIFE’ BY RICKY MARTIN. ALLEZ, ALLEZ, ALLEZ!” Swifty reluctantly agreed because, let’s face it, I’m too hot to argue with.

So, I whipped out my ancient yet iconic Samsung Galaxy Note 7 (a device of legends, LITERALLY EXPLOSIVE) and cued up Ricky Martin’s masterpiece. We cranked the volume to MAXIMUM CHAOS in Swifty’s new ride. The sound? BOMBASTIC. Our eardrums? SHATTERED. Our neighbors? HORRIFIED.

And then—BOOM!—the car turned into a metal fireball of pure carnage!!! Shrapnel soared majestically into the air, obliterating the stadium facade. People screamed. Someone probably cried. It was ART.

And here’s the kicker: Swifty tried to pin the disaster on ME. Can you believe it? ME. I just laughed in her face because, obviously, it was her car. She’s now in debt, and I’m still devilishly handsome. Science RULES.

Crazee bonkerz tow your car challenge!

So there we were, a few minutes after Swifty’s first car—a 2011 Toyota Land Cruiser Prado—went out with a literal bang, thanks to my revolutionary science experiment. She was still pacing, yelling things like, “I can’t BELIEVE you!” and “This is why no one trusts you, Tom!” And me? I thought, What’s the best way to lighten the mood? Obviously, by pulling another prank.

Her shiny new car—a 2006 Honda Civic equipped with the heat death of the universe—was sitting there, just asking for it. And who better to help me with this masterpiece than Sam the eagle? Because nothing says “chaotic patriotism” like a bird of prey with a tow truck.

“Sam, I need a favor,” I said, dialing him up.

“For liberty, justice, and the American way, I shall assist!” Sam boomed, pulling up in his glorious, star-spangled tow truck.

While Swifty was inside the shop, still arguing with the mechanics (“HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?! TALK TO TOM!”), Sam and I hooked up her car with military precision. “This is an act of heroism,” he declared, as we sped off with her new ride in tow.

We parked it behind a sketchy, graffiti-covered warehouse—the most un-American spot Sam could tolerate—and I sent her a little text:

Me: “Hey, uh, your car’s not in danger or anything… probably.”

The explosion of rage that followed was better than fireworks. Swifty came charging out of the shop, already yelling, “TOM, I SWEAR TO—” and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the empty parking spot.

“WHERE IS IT?!” she screamed, turning on me.

“Maybe it… drove away?” I said, barely holding it together.

“You are so dead.”

She stormed off, muttering threats, and followed the faint tire marks like a detective on a mission. Sam, ever the patriot, saluted her as we waited in the alley, her car sitting perfectly out of place. When she finally saw it, she froze.

“TOM. WHY IS MY CAR HERE?”

Before I could answer, a real tow truck rolled up. Turns out, you can’t park in front of a condemned warehouse. The driver didn’t care about her protests, her rage, or her very colorful language. He slapped a fine on her windshield and started towing her car again.

“Wait! NO! This isn’t even my—TOM!”

I tried to slip away, but Swifty grabbed me by the collar. “You’re paying for this!”

“Um, no? Your car, your problem,” I said, laughing as I ducked out of her grip.

She was left to deal with the fine while I made my patriotic escape with Sam yelling, “God bless America!”

PRANK SUCCESSFUL. Freedom reigns.

Crazee bonkerz Ohio challenge!

Swifty and I, two adventurous idiots with nothing to lose (except sanity), decided to take on the ultimate test of courage: surviving three whole minutes in Ohio. To make it spicy, we set a bet beforehand: whoever chickened out first had to pay. Pay what? Doesn’t matter.

“Easy money,” I said confidently as we crossed the state line in our rust-bucket rental car.

“You’re underestimating Ohio,” Swifty replied, glaring at me like I’d just insulted her entire family.

00:00: The air immediately changed. It wasn’t just wind; it was a howl, like a wolf and a kazoo had merged into one terrifying sound. “Nice ambiance,” I said. Swifty rolled her eyes.

00:30: A guy in a lawn chair zoomed past us on a homemade rocket. “Did you see—” Swifty started, but then a second one whizzed by, this time towing a fridge. “Nope, I don’t wanna know,” I said, gripping the wheel tighter.

01:00: The GPS started glitching out, showing “Turn Back” in bold red letters. “That’s comforting,” Swifty muttered, peeking over my shoulder. The road ahead suddenly turned into a field of corn… except the corn was walking. “ARE THOSE CORN ZOMBIES?!” she screamed.

“Stay calm,” I said, driving through them like we were in an arcade game. “They’re just… eccentric Ohio locals.”

01:45: A sign loomed ahead: “WELCOME TO THE UNKNOWN. PLEASE SCREAM RESPONSIBLY.” Swifty audibly gulped.

“Oh, what’s the worst that could happen?” I said, trying to sound brave.

That’s when a man in a pumpkin mask appeared on the hood of the car. Swifty let out a shriek that could shatter glass as I swerved wildly, flinging Pumpkin Guy into a ditch.

“I HATE THIS PLACE!” Swifty yelled, clutching the dashboard.

02:30: The sky turned green. A swarm of raccoons riding drones descended from the heavens, pelting the car with acorns. Swifty was practically vibrating with terror. “We’re gonna die, and it’s all YOUR FAULT!”

“We’ve got thirty seconds left!” I yelled.

02:59: Just as the timer ticked down, the raccoons disappeared, the cornfield turned back into asphalt, and the sky went blue. We crossed the state line into *Not Ohio,* and everything felt… normal again.

Swifty let out a shaky breath. “Never again,” she said, slumping back in her seat.

“You screamed,” I said, smirking.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. Back there. Pumpkin Guy.”

“That doesn’t count!” she snapped, but her face gave her away.

“Pay up,” I said, grinning ear to ear.

She groaned and buried her face in her hands. Ohio: 1, Swifty: 0. Challenge complete.

Crazee bonkerz tip people at the Maracana challenge!!!

When Swifty suggested we do a “Crazee Bonkerz Challenge” while hanging around Rio, she had the wild idea of making it about motorsport.

“Motorsport? By the Maracanã? What does that even mean?” I scoffed. “We’re not doing that. Boring.”

“Fine,” Swifty said, crossing her arms. “What’s your big idea then?”

“We tip people,” I announced, grinning.

Swifty blinked. “Like... push them over?”

“No, no. We give them money for no reason and say it was an 'act of kindness'.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t care about motorsport,” I said with a shrug. And just like that, the Crazee Bonkerz “Tip People Near the Maracanã” challenge was born. We made a bet, of course—loser pays, no questions asked.

Spoiler alert: Swifty lost. Again.

The Setup: Armed with a pocket full of cash (and absolutely no common sense), we parked ourselves outside the Maracanã, where crowds were gathering for a big soccer match. The vibe was electric—Brazil jerseys everywhere, samba music blasting, churro vendors yelling out deals—it was the perfect place to unleash our madness.

Round One: The Churro Guy

I kicked things off by marching up to a churro vendor and slapping a R$20 note onto his cart. “For you, amigo,” I said, beaming.

“Obrigado!” he replied, confused but happy.

Swifty rolled her eyes. “That’s it?”

“Your turn,” I said, smirking.

She approached a guy selling popcorn. “Here, take this,” she mumbled, handing him some cash.

“Why?” he asked suspiciously.

“Because I’m being nice!” Swifty snapped, stomping away.

I chuckled. “Wow, such generosity.”

Round Two: The Soccer Fans

Next, I spotted a group of Fluminense fans singing their hearts out. I walked up, handed one of them some money, and said, “This is for singing off-key.”

The guy laughed and took it, slapping me on the back. “Valeu, brother!”

Swifty, meanwhile, chose a kid juggling a soccer ball. She handed him a few notes and said, “You’re better than, uh… Ronaldo.” (Ronaldo de Lima, not Cristiano)

The kid stared at her, wide-eyed. “Really?!”

“No,” she muttered, walking back.

Round Three: The Street Performer

For the grand finale, I found a guy dressed as a parrot, handing out flyers on stilts. Without a second thought, I slipped him some cash. “This is for your bravery,” I said solemnly.

“Obrigado!” he squawked, doing a little stilt-dance. The crowd cheered.

Swifty, desperate not to lose, tried tipping a guy selling hot dogs. “Here, take this,” she said.

The guy stared at her blankly. “You’re not buying anything?”

“No, just take it!”

“...Weird,” he muttered, pocketing the money.

The Aftermath: When the timer ran out, I declared victory.

“How?!” Swifty demanded.

“Easy. I tipped with style. You tipped with awkwardness,” I said, arms crossed.

“That doesn’t even make sense!”

“Doesn’t matter. You lost.”

“Ugh, I hate this,” she groaned, reluctantly pulling out her wallet to pay the bet.

And me? I waved at the Maracanã in the distance, feeling like a king. Motorsport? Still irrelevant. Challenge complete.

Crazee bonkerz blast cars with SPEED challenge!

So there we were, still recovering from our last escapade (and Swifty's bank account already limping from all her losses), when I had an incredible idea.

“Swifty,” I said, leaning casually against her pride and joy—a 2006 Honda Civic that, for some reason, was equipped with the heat death of the universe. (Don’t ask why. Just accept it.), “what if we, uh, turned things up a notch? Like… SPEED UP?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, squinting at me with the weariness of someone who had lost too many bets.

“I mean,” I grinned, “we find some cars… and blast them with speed. Metaphorically. No casualties, of course.”

“That’s so stupid,” she said flatly.

“So you’re in?”

“…Fine.”

And just like that, the Crazee Bonkerz “Blast Cars with SPEED Challenge” was born. Same rules: loser pays. Swifty never learns.

The Setup

Armed with an RC car, a box of party poppers, water balloons, an air horn, and a scientifically questionable heat death-equipped Honda Civic, we staked out a busy street corner. Victory was inevitable (for me, obviously).

Round One: Honda Guy vs. RC Car

I started strong, sending my RC car—rigged with fireworks—under a random guy’s Honda Fit at the stoplight.

Fizz, pop, crackle! Fireworks sprayed harmless sparks everywhere.

“WHAT THE?!” the driver yelped, poking his head out the window.

“You’re SPEED now!” I shouted, grinning like an idiot as he peeled out, tires screeching.

Swifty went next. She tried aiming a water balloon at a shiny black sedan but missed so badly it hit a nearby food cart. The vendor was not amused.

“Nice shot!” I said, sarcastically clapping.

“Shut up,” she muttered.

Round Two: The Speedster and the Civic’s Powers

Next, I fired up the Honda Civic’s… uh, special features. I floored it, and suddenly the air shimmered like we’d just ripped open a portal to entropy itself. A speeding convertible in the next lane suddenly slowed to a crawl, like time was bending around it.

“SCIENCE, BABY!” I yelled out the window.

The convertible driver looked around in confusion before speeding away as if their life depended on it.

Swifty, not to be outdone, decided to use the air horn. She blasted it at a guy revving his motorcycle at a stoplight. The biker gave her a withering glare, revved louder, and peeled off without looking back.

“Solid effort,” I said, smirking.

“Shut. Up,” she hissed.

Round Three: The Finale

For the grand finale, I rigged the RC car with a disco ball, confetti launcher, and a speaker blasting The Cup of Life by Ricky Martin. I sent it zooming toward a parked car, fireworks sparkling as confetti exploded in the air.

The driver, coming out of a café, froze in pure bewilderment. “What the—?!”

“A GIFT FROM SPEED!” I shouted, striking a triumphant pose.

Swifty, in full desperation mode, grabbed three water balloons and hurled them at a passing delivery truck. One missed, another hit the truck’s side, and the last ricocheted off the roof and landed squarely on her own head.

I laughed so hard I almost fell over.

The Aftermath

When the timer ran out, it was clear who won. (Spoiler: Me. Always me.)

“This was rigged!” Swifty shouted, drenched and fuming.

“Nope, you’re just bad at SPEED,” I said, basking in glory.

“Fine! Whatever. I hate this game,” she grumbled, pulling out her wallet yet again to pay the bet.

“Crazee Bonkerz SPEED Challenge: COMPLETE,” I declared, leaning triumphantly against the heat-death-equipped Honda Civic.

And Swifty? Still broke. Still salty. Still a loser.

Crazee bonkerz find a working ice cream machine challenge!

When I suggested our next challenge, Swifty looked at me like I’d finally lost it.

“You’re saying,” she began slowly, “that we’re going to drive around Rio de Janeiro… looking for a McDonald’s… with a working ice cream machine?”

“Exactly!” I said, brimming with confidence.

“That’s impossible,” she deadpanned.

“Not with the POWER of determination!” I declared, fist raised. “And also our scientifically inaccurate 2006 Honda Civic, equipped with the heat death of the universe.”

Swifty groaned. “Fine. But if I win, you’re paying.”

“You mean if you lose,” I corrected, grinning.

And so, the Crazee Bonkerz “Find a Working Ice Cream Machine at McDonald’s Challenge” was ON.

McDonald’s #1: No Hope Here

We pulled up to the first McDonald’s. Swifty, already annoyed, stormed inside while I leaned back in the car, blasting The Cup of Life.

She came out two minutes later, scowling.

“Well?” I asked.

“‘The machine is down for maintenance,’” she mimicked the cashier’s voice with a sneer.

“Classic,” I said, shaking my head. “Next!”

McDonald’s #2: Lies and Deceit

At the second stop, I decided to go in. With my best customer-service smile, I asked, “Hi! Is your ice cream machine working?”

“Yes,” the cashier said cheerfully.

“Great! I’ll take a vanilla cone.”

Five minutes later, I was handed a receipt and then… nothing.

“Uh, where’s my ice cream?”

“Oh, sorry,” the cashier said. “The machine just broke.”

“WHAT?!” I yelled, throwing my hands up.

Swifty cackled when I came back empty-handed.

McDonald’s #3: Hope Is a Lie

By now, Swifty was in the driver’s seat, determined to prove she could succeed. She stomped into the next McDonald’s with the energy of someone ready to fight a manager.

Ten minutes later, she returned. “They said the machine’s been broken for three weeks.”

I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of the Civic. “Swifty, you’re cursed!”

She glared at me. “I hate this challenge.”

McDonald’s #4: The Impossible Victory

At this point, morale was low. The Civic groaned like it wanted to quit, and Swifty’s mood was as broken as every ice cream machine in Rio. But I wasn’t giving up.

“ONE MORE!” I shouted, slamming the dashboard. “Let’s go!”

When we reached McDonald’s #4, I sprinted inside, not even letting Swifty leave the car.

“Tell me your machine works,” I begged the cashier.

“It does,” they replied.

“…Are you lying to me?”

“Nope. What’ll you have?”

“VANILLA CONE!” I yelled.

Two minutes later, I walked out triumphantly, holding the single greatest treasure mankind has ever known: a McDonald’s ice cream cone.

Swifty stared, jaw dropped. “No way.”

“Victory!” I shouted, raising the cone high like a Paralympic torch.

The Aftermath

Back in the car, Swifty glared at me as I savored every bite of that cone.

“You didn’t even let me have a chance to win,” she grumbled.

“You’re welcome to go back in and try,” I offered.

“Forget it,” she said, crossing her arms.

“Oh, and about the bet…” I began.

“I KNOW,” she snapped, pulling out her wallet to pay up yet again.

Another win for Tom. Another loss for Swifty. And one glorious cone to rule them all.

Challenge complete.

Crazee bonkerz free-for-all finale challenge!

Swifty was absolutely pissed. And honestly, I couldn’t blame her. After all the chaos, her total losses had climbed to an eye-watering $329,095.76—and that was before factoring in the future television budget we’d been daydreaming about.

“This is your fault,” she growled, standing with her fists clenched as we prepped for our final showdown in an abandoned lot.

“Correction,” I said, smirking, “this is entertainment.”

Her glare was sharp enough to cut diamonds, but I could tell she was ready for one last attempt to salvage her pride.

And so, we kicked off the Crazee Bonkerz Grand Finale Free-for-All Challenge. The rules? None. The stakes? Absolutely everything.

ROUND ONE: THE CHICKEN RACE

We started strong with a high-octane game of chicken, using the 2006 Honda Civic (still powered by the heat death of the universe) and aiming for a mountain of old mattresses.

Swifty went first, flooring it with all the determination of someone who had lost way too many bets.

Halfway down the lot, I leaned over and cranked up The Cup of Life on the stereo.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” she screamed, momentarily distracted as the car veered off course and slammed into a stack of paint buckets.

“Point for Tom!” I declared, laughing as she emerged, dripping in what looked like neon pink paint.

ROUND TWO: BALLOON BATTLE

Next up: a full-on balloon war.

My arsenal included glitter bombs, confetti grenades, and the pièce de résistance—a pudding-filled balloon. Swifty, on the other hand, had water balloons filled with suspiciously salty water.

“Say goodbye to your dignity!” she yelled, pelting me with a direct hit to the chest.

I retaliated with a glitter bomb that left her looking like she’d been to a failed disco audition.

But the tide turned when I lobbed the pudding balloon.

“WHAT EVEN IS THIS?!” she screamed, flailing as tapioca dripped down her face.

“Victory pudding!” I shouted, doubling over with laughter.

ROUND THREE: THE CIVIC STRIKES BACK

For the final round, we unleashed the Civic’s ultimate power.

“Whoever survives this wins,” I announced dramatically as the engine roared to life.

Reality twisted, gravity inverted, and for a moment, it felt like we were hurtling through an alternate dimension. Somewhere in the chaos, the radio kept looping The Cup of Life.

“THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING WE’VE EVER DONE!” Swifty yelled.

“NO, THIS IS THE BEST!” I shouted back, cackling as the car skidded to a halt in a puff of smoke.

Swifty stumbled out, looking dazed and defeated. “I quit.”

THE AFTERMATH

As I stood over the wreckage of our day, victorious once again, I couldn’t help but remind Swifty of her new total losses: $360,921.89.

“Not including the TV budget,” I added smugly.

Her groan echoed through the lot. “WHY do I keep doing this?!”

“Oh, it gets worse in the next episode,” I said casually, already planning my next scheme.

“…Wait, WHAT?!”

Challenge complete. Stay tuned.

Are we done with this madness??? Oh no no no, not a chance. We’ll keep doing this shit for the rest of our lives, so keep watching for even more madness like “Crazee bonkerz LA traffic challenge!”, “Crazee bonkerz stack cars challenge!” and my personal favorite: “Crazee bonkerz drive a go kart in public challenge!” It’s going to be AMAZING.

Dedicated to @kurosaiko12.

#mascotverse #vinicius and tom #parody #possibly controversial #eleventh gear #disabled figures

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ask-computer-nerd-estonia · 24 days ago

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hey Eesti how do you got that 8K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 4K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens camera quality? your photos always look like something out of Pinterest!

Hey Aleksandr here (the admin of the blog) I have exactly that camera for begining and I have some idea bout that because I worked as a photographer while I didn't found a new job

#hetalia #aph estonia #estonia #hws #hws hetalia #axis powers hetalia #role play #world series #hetalia au

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nox-the-cat · 2 months ago

Note

Caught you in 8K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 4K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner Trane20,000-Watt 1-Phase LPG/NG Liquid Cooled Whole House Standby Generator.Caught you in 8K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 4K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner Trane20,000-Watt 1-Phase LPG/NG Liquid Cooled Whole House Standby Generator.

NOT ASHAMED!

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lowpawly · 3 months ago

Text

I know that samsung discontinued the note series but that now they have s pens compatible with like all their phones so I'm trying to find out like. if they have a newer phone since the note 9 that have both a stylus and a headphone jack lmao

#txt #my note 9's screen has been cracked for like. 3 years and its a 200 dollar repair #so im like i wonder if it would be more worth looking into a new phone than fixing the screen at this point lawl #not that i can afford either of those things rn...

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ovmobiles · 3 months ago

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