#same with an OC - we're so used to them ONE way...maybe have someone else who isn't familiar with your OC look at the comparison photos

[miqojak]

Dawntrail Graphics Appreciation Post

I think lots of people are so accustomed to the old, outdated graphics version of their characters, that they just need time to adjust to the new graphics, for the most part (most comparisons I see look exactly the same, when people are complaining about the changes). But in the meantime, enjoy some characters no one has any attachment to! Look at how good all these random people from my collection of 'characters I've designed but never used' look in the new graphics! Freshly moisturized skin for the win!

( I love my green Elezen and long to make her, and the Roe featured is actually named Crying Dove, and she's an NPC that's part of Jak's backstory, and runs a brothel in Ul'dah. If only this game were more alt-friendly...)

[theres-a-man-in-the-archives]

𝙈𝙮 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙏𝙎𝙎𝙈 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙒. 𝘽𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙃𝘾𝙨 (𝙛𝙩. 𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧/𝙈𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙖/𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙒. 𝘽𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙚)

[✖] Warning: LENGTHY headcanon, Mentions of animal death, familial death, quite a bit of angst, this is probably just a fat list of hcs on his life BEFORE being Montana or Shocker ✉ A/N: HUGE emphasis on the "MY" everybody. These are just random HCs I've rounded up and accumulated while writing personal oc x canon slop. You are free to interpret the guy however you'd like, but this is just how I depict him.

•----------• pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3

► Now Playing: Lord Huron - Who Laughs Last

𐚁 Formerly, past his reputation now for what he is. I'd like to think he used to work on a ranch somewhere, whether it was for someone else or his own.

𐚁 He probably met Ox and Fancy Dan prior to the gig too that way, before the big opportunity came in working in the city. (I'd also like to think they're actually close friends and more than just coworkers)

𐚁 Speaking of that "opportunity", it was probably brought up to him first through Fancy Dan or some other big shot than him actively looking for it.

𐚁 He gives me the vibe of a man who enjoys the labor of his work, and especially the rewards so long as it keeps him afloat. Not ENTIRELY ambitious or hungry to get as much as he can whether that's power, a social reputation, or whatever. He's just happy if he gets paid, and he enjoys his work. (I can't help but giggle everytime I think abt the last reblog I got with someone saying he just wants a 401k and health insurance)

𐚁 I think about his phrase, in Probable Cause (season 2, ep. 9)

"Never did like to see a poor, dumb animal suffer..."

—a lot actually, and maybe it was just something said to sound cool but... Maybe I'd also would have liked to imagine that Montana did have an animal companion before too, a long time ago. Maybe it was his first horse or even a herding dog that belonged to the farm rather than to him that he couldn't help but bond with, even just the smallest bit. Just something other than a human that meant a lot to him that he couldn't personally handle getting tortured from an ailment too pricy to afford a cure for (at the time), or simply the effects of time passing that's worn them down. It was probably his first cruel lesson about responsibility, so he took it upon himself to put his own beasts to sleep (looking back at Old Yeller for this, that book hurt younger me like HELL), and maybe it's why he's also so adamant about the subject.

(He's a villain, of course, but I don't think it's that wrong to still remember he was human, still is sometimes.)

𐚁 While we're still riding a bit more about his past. I'd also imagine that he probably did have a family (no, duh) but, he also doesn't really feel too attached enough to his family to talk about them much. It's not to say that he didn't like his family or hate them to high hell. He just... Doesn't really talk about them much at all. It kind of gets awkward for him to talk about them when the spotlight finally hits on him, and it's not out of a place of malice. He just doesn't have a lot to talk on, no defining experiences, just... Folks that were there. He certainly looks back on a few memories a couple times but, there's only so few he can fish out to think fondly back on.

𐚁 He probably had a mother, she was there but just enough to be the simple role of a caretaker, not too doting, not too loving but just. There. She meant enough to him to drop by flowers for at least, and taught him a few rights and wrongs.

𐚁 He probably had a brother, one that he ended up causing a lot of trouble with when they were young, got into a few scraps with, and was his "other half"— in the way that they went down the same path as Montana did when they got older, just... Didn't end up as lucky as he did in this line of work.

𐚁 He probably had a dad too, but one that didn't plan on staying too long in his life. Just simply a man who taught him a few things, and someone who made his impact on Jackson more harshly than intended before disappearing altogether. Maybe that was the only form of tough love he ever got from his old man, but hey, at least some of his lessons still live on in Montana, especially the insistence on responsibilities.

𐚁 He probably still thinks of his old man as a hypocrite for leaving the family and abandoning his responsibilities. Gives him more of an incentive to carry on the words though (especially when his own blood refused to).

𐚁 Moving past all of that, he certainly picked up a lot of things in his life before becoming an Enforcer, back when he was still out as a ranch hand.

𐚁 One thing he picked up on his own is... Sewing. He's definitely learnt to patch up his own clothes a few times, and fix other cloth material. He's gotten better at handling the needle and thread as he's gotten older.

𐚁 Really good with his hands, and extremely crafty (HE MADE A WHOLE ROPE IN PRISON with his bedsheets-), whether that's making a makeshift tool, weapon, or anything else out of scrap or what-not. He is a creative individual, not so much artistic in what he makes but as long as it is efficient and works. No complaints.

𐚁 He'd actually be pretty decent at origami, given a tutorial and a few instructions or two, but don't expect anything too over the top.

𐚁 Among other things and the expansion on being "good with his hands", Montana is also very versatile and self-sufficient. He's picked up a lot of things throughout his time so he at the very least knows, basic medical aid (along with know-how on stitches), repairing/tinkering (before: it was mainly regards to vehicles, light machinery, but now it also applies to adjusting his own equipment/tech when donning the Shocker suit), a bit of cooking, fixing things, making things... And for stuff he picked up outside the city. He knows how to hunt things, preferably with a rifle, and maybe fish too. That's mostly the broader things of what he knows.

𐚁 He's a jack of all trades, master of none type of guy, but general point? Very reliable nonetheless.

𐚁 He also has this stubbornness in him that expands to certain things he has in inventory. If something is quite literally unable to be repaired, fixed, or kept together, that—is when he'll finally get something replaced. Other than that, if said object still has some fighting chance. He is going to force that thing to stay together until its dying breath.

𐚁 If it's too much work sometimes or if he’s prodded enough about it, he'll eventually just cave in and buy something to replace it (this will reflect on his personal owning of cheap furniture around his home).

𐚁 Not a huge cat guy, but he's definitely been in the company of at least one barn cat or two. Doesn’t hate them, pretty neutral about cats given that he’s both experienced the natures of how gentle and affectionate they can be—while also facing a few scratches and nicks to the hand for unintentionally pushing the boundaries (some of those scars still actually exist on his hand somewhere beneath all the rough and callousness).

𐚁 …adding on further, this guy also definitely fell for the idea that it’s a sign that it’s always okay petting a cat when its belly is exposed to you (that “okay” has now been reduced to “not at all/sometimes” in his head).

[halcoded]

gently plucked this from ribcagedotmp3; his original post had their own alters listed, so i didn't want to just reblog/hijack it from the same post. you know. handwaves.

these were originally meant to be ask prompts. however i didn't want to like. rely on other people sending prompts, especially since there are some i find boring. so i figured i'd just do them here. whatever dskfjsdnf.

under the cut for length.

System Ask Prompts

Generalized:

🍎 - Is there anyone who, when they front, cause your social battery to decline faster?

yes, definitely. anyone who doesn't usually front, especially if they're trying to assert a sense of self without bard (or me...) intervening/making them "mask" as someone else, will drain our battery really, really fast. to some extent i think this may be because either a) we are 'forcing' them to keep fronting when the moment has already passed, so to speak (usually because nobody else wants to be fronting at the time), or b) something is upsetting them and we haven't been able to soothe it.

i used to be THEE alter that made our social battery drain faster. but i think developing my own sense of self, my own connections and online spaces, etc has helped with that a lot. i don't feel pressured to Be Bard but i also don't feel pressured to not be bard. shrugs.

🍓 - Is there anyone who's fronting emoji/indicator an inside joke or source reference?

uhh hm let's see. we don't use emojis to indicate who's fronting very often - there's maybe one server where we'll do it just to indicate "it's not the usual alter you're used to right now", but we don't say WHO it is either unless someone asks. emojis are just a way of self-expressing for us, or sometimes they fit better than a name does. but anyway.

☕ max - pretty sure this was a reference to john mulaney's one black coffee joke, or just the fact that max is like the personification of a guy who would drink black coffee.

⌛ dream2 - reference to the sandman.

👁🕶️🔪 - core, corinth, and their collective/subsystem, all obvious references to the sand.man characters they introjected from.

⭐ - star, obvious one. we mostly use the emoji if we don't want to say "yeah asta.rion is fronting" because people can be weird about that.

💄 - deb has another emoji too (a swan, not sure why) but this one's a reference to how heavily we associate her source with heavy makeup.

🐇 - vinny, reference to... that fucking cartoon rabbit from skinamarink i believe.

🐙 - ed, reference to the kraken motif in of.md

a bunch of others have emojis that are meaningful in some way but most of them are just like. 'i like this one' or whatever.

🍬 - Is there anyone very much so definitely queer, but in very much so heavy denial?

no. i don't think that's really possible with the way we work lol.

🍿 - Is there anyone completely opposite of their source, but still identifies with being from said source?

uhhh hm. i think most of the fictional introjects where it's like "wow you are nothing like them" come from... specifically our writing of those characters; like silver, for example. we write him as basically an oc and the alter is an introject of that basically-an-oc character.

i guess deborah is nothing like our actual mother in practice nor does she identify as OUR mother, though she does still feel like she has/remember having two kids, and she still feels Like that person. it's complicated.

🍊 - Did anyone form from something "unconventional"?

i don't even know what would count as "unconventional" by system standards honestly. alters can form from anything. we got orpheus because we were feeling so fucking miserable about ourselves and wanted a boyfriend or something and our brain went "you know who would be great for this? hozier." lmfao

🥕 - Is anyone pulled to front by alarms? (of any kind)

not that i'm aware of. smoke/fire alarms trigger us very badly (only if we're in the same building as them) but i don't think they trigger a DID switch.

🧀 - If you have individual headmate playlists, which has the most run time / is played the most? (+ what's on it?)

bard's is the longest at 10 hrs and 15 minutes, but mine is probably the most played because i like listening to it while i'm doing something + i like the predictability of only hearing the same few songs over and over. okay by few i mean 42 right now but in my head there's only like 10 lol.

on my playlist there's some radiohead, tom milson, sayonara wild hearts OST, ffxiv OST, kraftwerk, glass animals and some other upbeat groovy songs i like.

🍋 - Is there anyone who fronts very frequently?

yeah me. ksjnfkjsdfn. it changes every few months, but historically i think max has been the most frequent fronter other than the host - which makes sense, he's the main protector of the system and previously we needed him a lot. but i think he's largely... not "retired" but he just doesn't feel the need, or desire, to be around as much.

to be honest i think he may be depressed; he generally has little interest in anything when he fronts now, and often isn't having a good time emotionally when he does. he also finds it hard to a) like people in the first place and b) talk to them in a way that suggests he doesn't hate them, whether he does or not. idk. it's hard to be him, is the point.

anyway though, i front a lot, especially lately. i am pretty good at ignoring social obligations like discord IMs (bard struggles with this) and i am also pretty good at not forcing us to Care about something if we don't have the capacity to do it (example: provide emotional support).

🍯 - Is there anyone who fronts once and then you don't see for weeks/months?

i think that describes most of us, honestly. the vast majority of alters in our system are fragments: alters with a less defined sense of individuality/self, usually created for a specific purpose (to do a specific task, hold a specific emotion, etc), and unable to--or prevented from--fronting on their own without someone else there as a "buffer"*.

(*by buffer, i mean that usually bard will be frantically holding onto the reins to keep pretending they're themselves and that if someone else is fronting, they're not "in control" so everything is fine! don't worry! they're not crazy! etc.

meanwhile if i am acting as the buffer it is usually to prevent an alter from acting in a way that would endanger the body or upset the people around us.)

the only alters that i would say are almost constantly around to some degree are myself, bard, and max. the others are very unpredictable and many fragments will form, front for a few hours, then vanish for months until circumstances require them to front again.

🍐 - Does anyone have a distinctly different voice tone than the others?

yes. i am quieter and more soft spoken; i think flatter too, though i often feel like i am emoting with my voice much more than i am.

max has a lower pitch and a flat, sarcastic affect. like me though, he often adopts bard's "jumpier" vocal mannerisms when he's in a good mood or interacting with someone we like. it's a habit. mirroring, etc.

the syskids have an affect i can only describe as "childish". people who have interacted with those who regress due to trauma will probably know what i'm talking about. there's no baby talk or whatever, just a sort of childish, timid tone and some difficulty with organising their thoughts.

the sugars have a very bouncy, feminine customer service voice that we often end up adopting by default when interfacing with people in real life as a defense mechanism.

hoisin has a very bad irish accent by default but the only person he will use it around is one of our irl friends. he can mask it, it just feels weird to do so - it feels like he's doing a poor imitation of a scottish accent when he does. but talking in a bad irish accent is even worse, so you know.

🫛 - Who has the most unique pronoun set?

maybe meek, who uses ae/aer (alongside other standard pronouns). none of us are really that into most neopronouns other than it/its purely out of convenience. although i do like the idea of bot/botself and spark/sparkself pronouns for myself, they're almost like... private pronouns? pronouns i don't actually expect other people to use because they're grammatically challenging/feel unnatural to use in a sentence? does that make any sense.

obviously identity-affirming pronouns are great, but for us, i think we just like to temper our expectations as to what other people are going to be comfortable using.

🍋‍🟩 - Who has a wildly different clothing style than the others?

lola and some of the other sugars. very feminine, big fans of dresses and skirts and stereotypical cutesy kind of clothing that we would not usually wear.

🧊 - Is there a headmate that is skilled at something others are not?

max is really good at FPS games. his aim is so much better than bard's that our roommate has been able to tell when he's fronting despite absolutely 0 other indicators, purely because he's like a fucking. aimbot.

🫐 - Are there any headmates that speak a language that the body primarily doesn't?

no. i think erik 'remembers' being able to speak german and yiddish, but doesn't actually.

🍧 - Does your system have a theme song?

haha no, though we do have a sort of "collective" playlist i guess. i think the first track on it is just a bunch of whalesong.

🍭 - Are you open about being a system outside of online?

only with a tiny handful of close irl friends, all but one of whom first met me online anyway. some of my less-close friends know i have DID, but we wouldn't divulge details about it to them unless asked or indicate anyone else was fronting.

Introject Directed:

🎸 - Do you associate with your source?

most of them do. i think asta.rion, the corint.hians, and deb* are the ones that are the most "yes, that is me" when they see/think about their source. others like ed and silver are kind of just "eh i guess that guy's where i'm From, but it's not ME me" and then folks like erik and james are so far removed from it that it's like. whatever.

*though in her case she's not happy about it. it just is what it is.

🪗 - Do you like your source's fandom? Why/why not?

the universal answer to this is "no, have you ever SEEN a fandom?"

🏮- Favorite thing about your source?

star thinks he's very funny (and he's right).

📙 - Least favorite thing about your source?

usually it's the pseudomemories that upset them. not every introject has them, i think star and deb are the big ones and they're uhh pretty traumatic.

📻 - What is your biggest fear? Is it related to your source?

deb is terrified of a lot of things and all of them are related to that yeah.

i'm not sure about the others. i guess star is scared of caz.ador coming "back" for him but he knows that it can't physically happen, you know?

🔋- What source do you have the most fictives from?

i guess by number it's probably the san.dman just because we have a few different versions of each alter from it...

🩻 - Do people often change their names after splitting?

not really. i know orpheus did - he started off just being called "hozier" and then as he developed more of a sense of self, they started using oisin / hoisin then eventually chose orpheus as an online pseudonym.

like i've said before, most alters don't front on their own or in a way that allows them a strong sense of self. so they don't usually need a new name, if that makes any sense?

i think also as we have grown more comfortable with the idea of splitting introjects, and less ashamed of it, we have felt less need to "disguise" ourselves with new names. orpheus was a bit of an exception, his name change was at least partly because it felt very weird to be like "hi i'm hozier (no relation)" lol.

🫧 - Who has the coolest name in your opinion?

me of course.

[wolpatinga]

1, 17, 41—didn't know (for sure) you were fictionfolk so 👀 just curious about the basics lol

oh, yea, i guess we don't really bold that we're a rather fictive heavy system on our main blog, but, yolo ig :3. there's a link in our pinned that goes here. that's a list of current system members and their pronouns. some of them might be obvious as introjects, but some of them not so much, so, i guess that's why we decided to encourage asks about the fictives we have aboard :3

What's your fictional identity (hearttype, kintype, etc) do you know the youtube channel "Down The Rabbithole"? they're a documentarian that i really respect(ed), especially when i was younger. they once did a video about "the Final Fantasy VII House", which was about a bunch of people who kinned final fantasy 7 characters, but also really ended up mistreating this one guy who wrote a really scathing series of posts on either 4chan or reddit about how awful these kinnies were. when we first watched that video, two of my oldest fictives had formed, henry and edward (from jekyll and hyde). i was maybe 13 at the time? maybe younger? but the framing of the documentary was the same way someone would present a true crime podcast, and it made kinnies seem like the scum of the earth, and it probably scared us off for a decade on admitting that henry and edward existed, let alone that they were fictives and truth be told, we still aren't really sure about getting that far into fictionkin culture. when we were in middle school, that was when there were a bunch of proud "grammar nazis" and whatnot, which i watched in realtime as those guys became extremist rightwingers. and i don't really trust anyone who gets that particular about any sort of label for that sort of reason. if someone feels confident going up to a stranger and saying "i don't think you're really <> because i saw a post online and it said that you don't match the exact definition", i tend not to like that person. there are some exceptions to this rule, but i get extremely wary around niche labels so what is my fictional identity? well, eddy, henry, tequila, charlie, and frankie are all humanoids introjected from (Jekyll and Hyde, Disco Elysium, IASIP, Frankenstein) respectively. those guys solidly use the fictive label then we have (heart/juno/artemis/mr moon) [Athena Sun, previously Apollo] and {Atlas Ozymandias "Soul" Terrance}, the three with a lot of names. these three are all fictives deriving from something that we would argue rides the line between OC and fanfic. the original had barely any story, and these three come from a fic hyde and lenore wrote about it. they're also all nonhuman, being a magicicada, a hognose snake, and an australian magpie respectively. also due to *circumstances that i refuse to elaborate on* we have Andy, who is as loosely based on the protagonist of the videogames Hylics as it gets. Hylics is famed for having hard to follow dialog, and the character Andy is "sourced" from, if you can call it that, has very little characterization in the first place. these four would say they're also fictives, but they ride the line between brainmade and fictive, if i'm using those terms correctly (i don't care if i am) we kinda refuse to use any label other than fictive, because the whole point of a label, like anything else, is to allow individuals to relay the things that can't be put into words into enough of a concept to help outsiders understand it, same with diagnoses and genders. fictive is enough to let you know these guys are part of a system and that you might recognize patterns in their behavior from other things you've seen, and we're satisfied with that

(17 will be answered in another ask, i got three asks all at once for this ask game which is fun but also i like to yap so this might take a while)

41. free space human brains are so weird, y'all, and we spend so much time making it worse. if a "normal person" behaves in the exact same way they saw a parent or some other mentor figure behave, somehow that's ok, but if a fictotype of some sort picks up behaviors and speech patterns from the exact things that capitalism is driving us towards, that's wrong? like. part of the capitalist machine is that work will make you feel bad and government will make you feel bad, so as adorno and horkheimer loved to rant about, you are driven towards big entertainment machines, from which we build culture. but if you say that you built your understanding of yourself from the thing you were conditioned from since birth to build your understanding of yourself from, that's "weird". its such bullshit. like, the idea that we get so much of our current culture from media, like, "prom should be this", "dating should be this", "life should be this", but fictives get that sort of treatment that the FF7 house does, it doesn't make sense to me. we invented fiction to convey human experiences, so shouldn't everyone have fictives? hyde's been on a sort of tirade lately in our friend groups trying to get people to become more plural, and like. in the Disco Elysium fandom, you get people talking about their Lt. Kitsuragi's in their heads reassuring them. i hope those people took the step further to actually allow kim a space in their heads. in our case, we got HDB and our lieutenant is lonely without his cool new partner but i also guess that someone with a Lt. Kitsuragi in their heads wouldn't go online talking about being a fictive and looking for their HDB. c'est la vie Du Bois...

[iniziare]

🔥 let the salt fly

We're gonna start big, because I don't censor myself when I reblog this meme. Sorry, ladies— but female characters aren't struggling because of some internalized and deep-rooted sense of misogyny (except maybe I harbor some of that by now because my god, do the 'support women' posts and 'it's so difficult, guys' defenses getting really tiring), they're struggling because of your own sense of entitlement. Fine, okay, do people flock to male characters a little faster? Certainly, but that's not because people hate women (again, maybe me in 2025...), but maybe it's because most of us seem to be or identify as women, and so we may enjoy writing and writing with something and someone vastly detached from ourselves. I know I definitely do.

Outside of that, you don't have to hire yourself a bulldozer to break through the big walls of oppression and misogyny, you're able to get interaction just fine. You know how? Just put your bloody mind to it. Getting interaction doesn't come from following a large amount of people, posting a starter call, and expecting them to mass-like it on day one, people aren't going to automatically flock to you like that. Newsflash: that happens only to the most select few blogs by some stroke of sheer luck. Finding interaction means engaging with your own muse first and foremost, and also with other people's. If I go on your new blog for this new female character whether she's canon or an OC, and I find only some fancy graphics, a page of information, a starter call, and nothing else, I'm not very tempted to follow you, or to engage with the blog. Does that sound cruel to your potentially sensitive, and oppressed ears? Listen, setting up a blog takes some effort, certainly, but that on its own doesn't do enough— because guess what, it's even easier to abandon a blog. I want to see you engage with your own muse, I want to see that you are interested in the muse that you write, because if I see none of that, then why would you be interested in interacting with mine, from said muse? I consider that chance to be quite low, and the chance to see you disappear within a week incredibly high. People who actively talk about their muses, the people who actively engage left, right, and center, those will find interaction time, and time again. And wallowing on your blog, or people's notes, about how 'others don't understand how much harder it is', give me a break.

If you're struggling? I would dare to bet that you're not putting in the effort, and instead you're claiming victim mentality, and hoping that the world comes to lay itself down at your feet in pity. That, or you're playing into one of two popular 'stereotypes' (for lack of a better word): with which I mean that your blog has plenty of 'ship with me' undertones (don't worry, male muse blogs have that plenty as well), or it's obvious that you're seeking that— or, you're playing into the all-powerful 'step on you' female character trope that we all love to hate in !@#$%^ abundance. But I'll reserve a salt post for that one. On the shipping topic though? Let me give you guys an example: when I first made Guizhong's single muse blog, I made it because I loved her character first and foremost, and did I come to enjoy the ship of Guizhong/Zhongli as I spent time researching? Yes. But guess what I wasn't here for, that ship. It came second, it has always come second— but the amount of Guizhong blogs that I came across that were obviously looking around for a Zhongli were insane. But in the same way, I also see Zhongli blogs made just to seek out and write the popular ship with Childe, I also see Wriothesley blogs who seem to be around only to find their Neuvillette to ship with, and nothing else (my god, don't get me started on how much you can do with either of those characters outside of these ships— AAAAA, god, I swear, I am not your strongest soldier).

But do you now see why I harp, and harp, and harp, on people needing to actually show investment and engagement with their own muses? It is the best, and quite frankly, the only way to dodge the allegations. And before you go 'but those are unfair, Sae', guess what, muffin pie fruitcake, stereotypes exist for a reason, and reputations exist for a reason— we didn't just go and make all of that up just because we hate women, don't worry. Just, take it from a woman who has written plenty of women, and still is, you can do it. You just need to tear up your little victim and entitlement cards, and put in the work. Oh, and maybe wait to try and ship with popular male characters until... you know.

Prompt: 🔥for an unpopular opinion. // @intcritus // Selectively accepting

[kay-then-i-guess]

Hey, just wanna say amazing art like always! I love reading your comic. It brings me so much excitement and happiness.

I wanted to ask how long it takes to draw a character / panel for the comic. Also, how did you find your art style. I'm trying to find mine.

Thank you so much! I'm glad that I'm making somebody other than myself happy with it :D

I don't particularly time myself for anything, but I can probably guess how long each page takes me (individual panels really vary depending on size, action, etc.). I normally sketch out the whole arc first (kind of as a rough draft) and then go back to all of the pages, clean them up, and start coloring and shading. Depending on how many characters, how many colors, and how complex the background is, I'd say all of that together takes anywhere from 4-7 hours per page. Once I'm in the coloring/shading process, I can normally (if I have all day) color about 3 pages per day--sometimes more if they're simple. It's a lot of work. However, I like drawing, and I'm kind of considering this practice for my professional career.

When it comes to art style, there are really no easy answers to finding yours. However, there are certainly tips, tricks, and exercises I can suggest for you! A lot of people say "Well, just always practice!" While this is true, it's not very specific about what you should practice. So I'm going to go more in-depth.

Firstly, we have a tendency to think of our skill progression as a linear line--maybe there are ups and downs, if we're really thinking about it--but we still imagine that nice little linear graph. DON'T. When we think of our art skill this way, we tend to expect exponential results, and often times we end up always comparing our metaphorical graph to someone else's. Not to mention that these graphs always have an end to them, which isn't really how art works. We think of finding our "art style" in a similar way. Like one day it will just hit us, and then BOOM. Amazing, original, YOU-art. But art doesn't work that way. When I look at my old work, I may cringe and stuff and critique it, but I do still see myself and my current style in the work. It may not be as developed or clean, but I still see it. I can't go toooooo far back to show examples since I don't have access/pictures of some of my older art, but here's some stuff from 2020/early 2021 (five years ago). Pardon me while I out myself as a Bungo Stray Dogs fan and someone who did genderbend art lol (the other is an OC)

...You can tell it's still me making the art--big eyes, mix of cel and soft shading, etc.--but it's definitely not as defined as my current stuff. The style between these two pieces--roughly created around the same time--are different. I was experimenting!

Which brings me to my first tip of "What to practice?" If I never left my comfort zone and never just played around, experimenting a bunch, I would have probably never started using predominantly cel shading (the hard-lined shading). I would have never started using more of that American-style, big, bug-eyed cartoon-y sort of look. That whole turn started as a random doodle when I was listening to my Latin lectures--I started toying around and realized that I loved the look! SOOOOO if you want to find your art style, you have got to experiment! Mess around stuff. Look at styles you've loved. Look at styles you've hated (I originally hated the American-style cartoon look). Make stuff up. Sure, some of it will be crappy in the end, but at least you learned something from the experience. Try keeping note of what works and what doesn't--and if you fail at something the first time, then maybe you just need to try it again!

Jumping forward in time... to 2022! When I started this project! Here are the OG design sheets for Roleshuffle Tommy and Wilbur.

The Wilbur sheet really shows the first time I actually considered using the more cartoon-y, big-eyed style. I originally thought it was "too silly" for repeated use in the actual comic. I knew that the majority of the first two arcs would be silly and lighthearted, but I still didn't want to use it. In my mind, it was originally going to be a gag style that would show up every so often. But WOW. I discovered while making the comic that I was having so much fun drawing in it. I had such an easier time making expressions, making sketches look like the final product, and so forth. In short, I was holding myself back from using a style I really loved because it didn't fit my original vision.

Which brings me to my next tip: expectations are fine and well, but don't let them stop you from rolling with an idea. As I've used the more cartoon-y style, I've learned that it isn't all silly. I can make very serious expressions and scenes like this. I would have never figured this out if I stopped myself from trying it out. Case in point: this is an old post, but I compared one of my early comic page sketches to the final product just to show how much I'd grown, and it really shows how I learned to embrace the cartoon-y look (despite my expectations). A lot of the previous styles I drew in never really felt like mine, and similarly, I always felt like this one would just end up being another phase. I'd learn something from it and then move on. But that never really happened. Instead, I kept drawing in it, kept learning more and more, and by doing all of that, I was--without even really realizing it--refining my art style. I mean, look at the difference between these pages (respectively from L'manburg Arc, Pre-Election Arc, and the Election Arc):

The more I developed the style that I was really loving at the time, the more I found I could do with it. I could do serious scenes. I could do action. I can mix the realism and anatomy practice I learned from my art classes into it to make it better.

This brings me to my final piece of advice: try drawing something set. What do I mean by this? Well, most of the time, when I was drawing, I would draw OCs. Their designs were constantly changing, and since most of them weren't for comic-style work, their designs were very complicated. I was focusing so much on detail work for every inch of costuming that most of the time I'd end up avoiding it to just draw their faces instead (and I even managed to overcomplicate those, lol). Once I started the comic, however, I learned that I needed simple, readable designs that didn't change drastically. I had to come up with something and stick with it. Because of that, during the time in which I was making the comic, I wasn't worrying about character design. Instead, I could pour all my focus into learning other things: background, composition, color, active poses--the list goes on. Also, since I was working on a comic for the first time (and not just a stand-alone drawing), I was forced to draw difficult scenes that I'd normally avoid. No more still images of a character posing with their hands behind their back! No more avoiding strange angles or perspective. I was forced out of my comfort zone, and it helped grow my style since I could (both literally and figuratively) draw it from all angles.

It's a lot of work, and it's not always fun. There were definitely low points for me over these past five years where I really wasn't sure if I was ever going to get better. Also, like I said at the start, no artist has a defined "end point" where their work is suddenly perfect and swell with no problems whatsoever. Everyone always has room to grow. I may even evolve this style into a new one in a couple of years. So, I would encourage you to think of your art in the same way as you try to apply these tips and tricks. Please let me know if this made sense or if I need to expand on anything. I hope this helps!

[hwashotcheeto]

Have you ever thought of villain Hwa? Maybe he's like also a tiny bit in the Mommy Hwa role but he's super angry at the world for not returning the huge amount of love he has for them and his tiny fists get angry n stuff- and then he decides to have revenge on "selfish" people who aren't really what he thought they would be with the amt of love he gave them... (it's pretty dark and scary) and then and then- someone helps him realize that despite the darkness in the world and how he has a right to feel that way there still is light and they bring his cute heart back to a safe and more secure place- while both y/n or oc or however become justice seekers or some kind of superheroes or smth and Hwa and y/n are satisfied at the end of the day

And when they get home y/n turns around bc she thinks she heard someone crying quietly (it's Hwa) and then he just hugs her and thanks her "for taking care of Mommy bc he really needed it"

I decided to drop this at the front desk of the library bc I love all of ur sweet and beautiful Hwa things...

First off, thank you for sending this in, darling. 💜 Thank you for the sweet words as well.

Secondly, I am a villain Hwa enthusiast (Tbh, I've put this man into so many roles, he could be Barbie). And if anything, I know this feeling all too well, so I'll gladly make something with this.

And just so we're all on the same page, when we say Villain Hwa, this is who I imagine

WC: 2k (wow she's long)

CW: Angst, mostly, but fluffy towards the end, vague descriptions of gore and throwing up, and one "Mommy" at the very end (lmk if I missed anything)

It's no surprise to anyone that the world is cruel and dark. In general, the world isn't a fun place to be. You'll get a very different answer depending on who you ask.

But for as much as people like you and I will argue that the world has some good in it, it's hard for some people to see it.

Seonghwa, unfortunately, had reached a breaking point.

He gave so much love to the world, to everyone in it, and got nothing in return.

The first few hundred times he was brushed off, he didn't let it get to him. Helping people made him feel happy, and giving love to people made him happy.

To see smiles light up people's faces, to see their eyes light up, was the greatest sight he could imagine. His heart felt full.

But even the most selfless person needs a moment to be selfish.

Seonghwa, alone and abandoned by those who he gave love, snapped. The selfless little voice in his head couldn't take it anymore. Didn't want to take it anymore. To be used and thrown aside, and not even recieve a "thank you" for anything he did.

"Just one!" He cried, tears in his eyes, his hands shaking from anger. "Just one person to say thank you, just one!"

But it was more than just "thank you" that he needed.

Seonghwa's skin craved the feeling of someone else's. If he closed his eyes and concentrated hard enough, he could feel it. Fingertips against his cheek, palms against his chest, arms around his waist.

But not just anyone's. Yours.

You and Seonghwa were lovers. For years, you'd been by each other's side, being each others support, your other half, the piece that completed you.

But why is it all in past tense? Why weren't you here right now, holding him in your arms, telling you how much he loved and appreciated you?

Because you'd left. Not because you didn't love Seonghwa, you loved him more than you'd ever loved anything.

You'd left to train, to be better, to protect him. Honestly, he wasn't hardly listening when you'd told him. All he remembered was that you were leaving, and he wouldn't see you for months.

And it had been months. And you weren't here.

With no way to contact you, or hug you, or even see you, Seonghwa had been spiraling. And he found himself on his knees in his home, completely and utterly drained.

And as he did, he had a revelation. An epiphany. An idea that might make himself feel better.

He'd hurt those who'd hurt him.

Revenge is a fruitless, endless road that will bring you nothing but emptiness, he'd heard before. But he just wanted someone to feel what he felt. To feel what it felt like to be weak, drained, used up, spent.

To make everyone who was so selfish to abuse his kindness suffer.

And never hurt anyone ever again.

Was your departure the catalyst for Seonghwa's shift? No. But it definitely didn't help.

You were standing beside your chief as you looked at the mutilated body of a young man. You were silent and pale as you tried to keep your food in your stomach.

But a breeze pushed the smell of rot into your nose, and it all came up before you could stop it.

"Go sit down, rookie," your chief gruffly said to you, to which you agreed with a nod, trying to wipe your mouth and prevent a second wave from rising up.

You stumbled away from the scene and spit up the rest of the disgusting mixture of bile and breakfast. Months of training don't prepare you for how to not lose your stomach at the sight of gore and the smell of decomposition.

"You'll get used to it," one of the detectives said as you spit into the street. The taste made your stomach churn all over again. You looked at him, and he offered a sympathetic half smile. "If it makes you feel any better, I threw up my first time too."

You nodded and leaned against the building, then slid down onto the ground, hugging your legs.

You'd insisted you could handle this, and it turns out, you can't. You'd left your life, your home, your boyfriend, for this. Because you believed you could do this, and wanted to be useful.

You were starting to see it less and less as the days went on, especially with this.

Your chief came over and made you stand back up, despite still feeling sensitive and nauseous. You tried to focus on what he was telling you, and putting the pieces to the scene and making sense of the details, but it was all foggy.

Until he mentioned something that made you perk up.

"A witness said they heard the name 'Seonghwa,' but it's not the victim's name. There's a high possibility that's our suspect."

Seonghwa?!

Your sweet, loving, charitable, selfless, goofy boyfriend? The boyfriend who cleaned so intensely, you could see your reflection in any surface? The boyfriend who'd cuddle you every night and make sure you fell asleep comfortably?

Seonghwa couldn't have been the one to murder and mutilate a man.

Much less someone you thought he considered a friend.

It couldn't be him.

It couldn't be...

Five unsolved murders later, you were losing your mind.

Five, FIVE, in one MONTH. And they were all tied to Seonghwa. They were all killed the same way, torn apart the same way, left in a mess the same way.

How could this be the same man you loved?! How could he have done this?! What had happened, why was he going after all of his friends?!

Your numerous calls to him hadn't worked, your desperate attempts to catch him hadn't worked either.

Honestly, you weren't sure if you wanted to find him in this state. If he was tearing apart his friends, would you be a victim too?

There was no discernable motive anyone could find, so it was a possibility that plagued your mind for the weeks he was out there.

You slept with your gun in your bedside table. It pained you to even think about hurting the man you loved.

But you had to protect yourself. You wouldn't turn into a number. A victim.

It turns out that keeping the gun beside you was a good move. But not because you were the target.

It was raining. No, storming. Thunder claps and lightening had kept you awake, alongside the paranoia and fear.

Amidst all that, you heard screaming outside your bedroom window. Living in the city, it wasn't anything new, but this was different. Running, then footsteps, then more screaming. A sound of someone being tackled. A struggle.

You shot up out of bed and grabbed your gun, hastily pulling on a mismatched outfit of clothes before you threw open your apartment window and looked into the alleyway below.

Just as you'd feared, it was him. Seonghwa, your love, your world, had someone pinned to the ground underneath him. You recognized him, he was another one of Seonghwa's friends. He already had blood on his face from an injury you couldn't see.

Your heart was pounding so hard, it could've exploded. You climbed out of your window and onto the fire escape before you screamed:

"SEONGHWA, STOP!"

To your surprise, he did. He stopped and whipped his head around, looking up at you. And despite the position he was in, he smiled so big when he saw you.

"Love! I mis-"

"PARK SEONGHWA, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" You screamed again, starting to run as carefully as you could down the slippery fire escape. His face and heart dropped, but he couldn't be surprised.

As you made your way down to the ground, his would be victim had escaped. And as he ran off, you saw the Seonghwa that had been doing all this.

Dead, dark eyes stared him down as he left. He had a blade in his hand, his shaking hands. His was face twisted into an anger you'd never seen. Not anger, rage. It scared you, it terrified you.

How could this be the man you'd left behind all those months ago?

Seonghwa looked at you, and the monster of rage disappeared. His eyes were bright, his face was soft. He put the blade away as he properly turned to you.

But neither of you said anything. You had too many words to say to him. He had no way to explain himself.

More than anything, you wanted to hug him. You wanted to tell him you still loved him, you missed him, you wanted to go home with him. But now you knew their was this angry, evil dark side of him.

You didn't know if you felt safe with him.

So you asked the one question that'd been in your mind since this started:

"Why?"

And Seonghwa opened his mouth to answer you, but nothing came out. He started thinking, then closed his mouth.

A few seconds later, he burst into sobs and dropped to his knees, covering his face with his hands.

What had he done? What had he become? He wasn't anything like he wanted to be. A murderer. Vengeful.

Selfish.

His selflessness wasn't appreciated by this world, by the people in it. He'd hated it, hated those who took him and used him, who made the world seem so much darker and crueler than he'd ever seen.

And what did he do? He made it worse. He took lives. Hurt people. Hurt himself.

It was true. Revenge is a fruitless, endless road that will bring you nothing but emptiness.

You knelt in front of him and pulled Seonghwa's hands away from his face. He stared at the ground, still sobbing.

"I was tired," he finally rasped out.

"Tired?" You said, exasperated. You felt anger start to bubble up inside you. "All this because you were tired? All this murder and-"

"I was tired of being used!" Seonghwa sobbed, gripping onto his own jacket.

The rain was coming down harder now. Buckets of water were pouring over the both of you, your clothes completely soaked through.

"I did so much SO MUCH, and I never got anything! No one told me if they appreciated me, if they loved me, if they even liked me!"

Seonghwa was shaking now, his words coming out as broken gasps and sobs.

"I gave so much love! So much love to selfish people who wasted it! Just once, I wanted someone to tell me I was good, that I was okay, to prove the world wasn't such an awful, cruel, disgusting-"

You threw your arms around his neck and hugged him tighter than you'd ever hugged him. Seonghwa didn't skip a beat, he hugged you back and cried into your neck.

The love he'd been begging for was here. The touch he'd been craving. And oh, it felt better than he could've ever imagined.

"You are good, Seonghwa," you whispered. "You are good, you are kind, you are loving." You choked back your own tears as you spoke.

You hated the world for what it had turned your boyfriend into. Your sweet and selfless boyfriend had become a monster.

And it could've all been prevented from a hug. A simple recognition that he was loved. Wanted. Needed.

"I love you, Seonghwa," you whispered.

He hugged you tighter and bawled like a baby.

The world cried with you both. Buckets of rain, drenching you both, thunder shaking the buildings and lightening showing flashes of the sun in the night.

It could've been hours that you were in each other's arms, on the ground in the alley. It could've been days. Time wasn't important.

But you both knew you had to run. You abandoned your training for him. You saw what he'd become without you.

As you stepped back into Seonghwa's house, he hugged you tight again, from the back, nuzzling into your rain soaked skin.

"Thank you," he whimpered. "Thank you...for taking care of me."

You turned around in his arms and held his face with both your hands. Seonghwa's eyes were as you remembered them. Big, round, soft, gentle. They held the moon and stars in them.

You wiped the tears and rain off his cheeks. "Anything for you, Mommy."

Oof, that was a lot. I felt a lot of myself in that, I've been feeling underappreciated lately too.

I hope this wasn't too far off from what you wanted, @peppermintlattelover, I tried to stay in-line with the prompt as best I could. The more I wrote, the more I liked where it was going, but I hope you like it too.

With that being said, thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜

This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.

[rahleeyah]

while we're on a yapping train may i present: t4t lesbian eo. trans woman olivia + trans masc butch elliot.

there's so much to unpack with this idea but largely i did see a gifset of elliot a couple of years ago from early svu & 20 years later on OC where he is sitting down with the same mannerisms despite the time difference. and idk i took one look at how different he looked (now huge and bald) and the masculine way of sitting and was like. this is how i see old butches (my absolute beloved). plus u know. what is elliot stabler if not an interesting look into masculinity within the family and the job.

and LIV. LIV my trans beloved. she cycles through haircuts and styles so much and to me that, thru a trans lens, seemed like her exploring femininity and gender presentation. particularly in the context of her job + partner. ALSO raises phenomenal questions re: childhood + serena. i can really see how they would have got to their good relationship we saw in the pilot from olivia's abusive childhood if that also involved liv coming out as a woman + her and serena exploring that together.

my headcanon for this fell off bcs i couldn't square them being cops but idk. i haven't done my research into trans legal things/docs available to new york in the latter half of the 20th century but i can see liv getting a gender recognition certificate/changed birth certificate early on (serena being helpful ofc) and never coming out as trans (until she absolutely has to). plus her crusade to help SA victims wouldn't have changes, if anything that experience of being seen as a boy + serena's inability to cope with having a male child born of rape would probs make her more wanting to join svu (+ delicious gender questions like 'what if i'm only feeling this bcs my mother would have preferred me being a girl' that she would have to grapple with. lots of extrapolation about serena here but u get the point).

elliot's backstory especially stumped me bcs. well he wouldn't be able to get kathy pregnant at an early age. idk maybe they were friends and kathy got pregnant by someone else and rejected and elliot stepped up to help her. perhaps coming more into his own as a butch by doing so. eventually he passed as a man more and more and was like. well if this means i can marry kathy/keep our little family secure then i will.

that was less of a yap train and more a yap essay but would love to hear ur thoughts 🫡

This is so interesting I've been thinking about it ever since you sent it to me.

So much of who eo are is tied up in their respective understandings of their genders, which are in turn formed by their deeply heteronormative upbringings. Elliot was punished as a child for crying bc boys don't do that, a message he would still have received as a girlchild in that house, but one which would not have been enforced by direct attacks on his person; that is she might have seen her brothers punished for crying bc that wasn't manly, but would not have been punished herself. She still might have internalized that message and used it as a foundational lesson in forming her understanding of her own manhood when she transitioned but would it have run so deep? When this Elliot transitioned from the girlchild of his parents house into a trans man (which I think he would have to have done as an adult) would he cling so fiercely to his father's concept of manhood? And is he still the same person if he doesn't? If he's born with a uterus he doesn't get Kathy pregnant at age 17; does he still join the Marines? If he isn't "his father's son" does he he feel like he has to try to follow in his father's footsteps? Without his early marriage and the sense of duty to his family it ingrains in him, without the Marines, who even is he? I'm not sure he's as recognizable; it's very, very hard to separate Elliot from the gendered expectations that were beaten into him from birth that he continues to try to uphold.

But I've said it before; Elliot is a lesbian when I write him.

Olivia I think I can see a little more clearly, and I'm actually really crazy about this idea. I've written about genderbent Olivia before (Marcus my beloved) and about how her perspective changes if she's socialized as a boy from birth. Olivia internalizes her mother's pain, feels the pain of other (female) victims as her own. If she's a boy, growing up knowing that he belongs to the same class of people as the one who hurt his mother (he is of the perpetrator class, instead of Olivia being of the "victim" class) how does that change his perception of himself? How does that change how Serena treats him? Is she more vicious if the child she never wanted who looks like the man who attacked her grows up to be a man himself? Does he hate his maleness?

And if (mostly) straight cis Elliot meets his beautiful partner and still falls in love with her, only with these layers that turn his deeply held beliefs about gender on their head - what does it do to Elliot seeing someone opt out of the binary he thought he was cursed to uphold forever?

There's just. Wow there's a lot to unpack there.

[prpfz]

🧤 Hello! I'm Callum (he/they), I'm 19 and I'm looking for roleplay partners who are 18+. I'm a semi-literate to literate roleplayer who only writes on Discord, my user is at the end of this post. You can either dm me there (or on Tumblr too) or leave a like on this post and I'll send you a dm here on Tumblr!

I'm looking for new people for a My Hero Academia roleplay. I'll be playing as Shigaraki!

- Dead dove⚰️🕊️: for the roleplay I'm looking for (read below to know more) dark topics are a must! We'll discuss the kind of things that'll be happening in the roleplay in dms based on what we're comfortable with.

- Limits definitely include 🍪 and 🐾, if you bring up something else that I'm not comfortable with I'll make sure to tell you, please do the same!;

- Both CCxCC and CCxOC are welcome, but I do have a preference for CCxCC;

- Both MxM and MxF are welcome, but I do have a preference for MxM;

- Dynamic: your character is the one in control, they're the one taking advantage of mine.

For my original idea, I'm searching for specific CCs. You can also use OCs if you prefer, the more they 'fit the vibe' the better. Also you're free to use multiple characters at once if you'd like!

- All For One (he doesn't share DNA with Shigaraki nor he legally adopted him, but since he gave him his surname could this count as 👪? He basically replaces Kotaro soooo...maybe?)

- Eraserhead (basically the wholesome option- dark topics would almost go to zero-)

- Stain

- Overhaul

In canon, we see Shigaraki showing some kind of interest towards two specific people: Eraserhead and Stain. I always thought the reason why was because they shared something in common with All For One:

Eraserhead is quite older than Shigaraki (10 years age gap), is incredibly skilled and is someone's mentor figure.

Stain is also quite older than Shigaraki (11 years age gap), is also incredibly skilled and has had a big influence on society.

I always felt like Shigaraki's strange interest in them was a result of All For One's manipulation and the way he was raised by him. So take what I just said and basically take it as a base for the roleplay I'm looking for:

Your character, for a reason X, caught Shigaraki's attention. Whether that's just generic interest or some kind of infatuation or anything else can be discussed in dms. And then...I have absolutely no idea- it depends on the CC or OC you play and our preferences!

Although for All For One things can be a bit different. I have a less generic idea for him: I always had the headcanon that his first plan for Shigaraki was to make him a perfect host for Yoichi's vestige. This can explain why Shigaraki was raised a certain way (to look like him, for example, maybe even to get used to keeping him under his surveillance- he'd hate it if someone were to steal him away from him again, etc).

However, after he got killed by All Might and revived by Daruma, his plan changed into using Shigaraki as his new body- from here giving him his quirk and literally possessing him in the war.

But look at his first plan for a second: he raised him specifically to look like his twin brother he has taboo feelings for...so maybe for the rp we could take a bit of inspiration from this. Also, you know, the more he breaks Shigaraki the easier manipulating him gets...so there's also that-

So yeah, If you're interested either like this post (and I'll dm you here on Tumblr) or directly message me here on Tumblr or on Discord, my user is @/r0tt1ngd0v3

r0tt1ngd0v3

[damnfandomproblems]

regarding #5796

there needs to be some form of... of regulations (and I know fellow adults are going to be wary of that word) that helps better tune which groups interact. there's the adults who want to indulge in age appropriate content (be that NSFW, heavy and mature themes like psychological issues or in depth socioecologic issues, or gore), there are adults who don't want to engage with that content, or maybe only the mature themes, there are teens who want to engage in age appropriate mature themes like in YA novels kids shouldn't be reading yet... and there are the very young teens who find their way to the internet even though, speaking from experience, they really shouldn't

there needs to be a way to keep that in check, and I don't mean something done by the people who use the site/social media, I mean the ones who own and run the site/social media

minors have been on the Internet since it's inception, adults have had to be there by design and those with the knowledge of how were likely the ones to first start forming groups around similar topics or for them. there's no two ways about this, we both have been here since the beginning and minors will always try to get where they shouldn't be (I have an alt Twitter with several minors blocked for trying to interact with/post in NSFW circles... seriously why did they not just wait?) and no that's not safe, and no, we adults are not their parents, so there should be something in place that helps keep them away from content they don't want to/shouldn't see at their age

third spaces are disappearing for everyone. I'm a night owl and just have to have discord calls with friends at night while drawing/playing games because even adult oriented late night spaces are disappearing unless I want to drive 2 hours to a major city (I don't) and back (I really don't). there used to be parks, stores, restaurants, random places that small towns had for both adults and minors to hang out, but that's dying out and we're all turning to the internet to have those spaces

and while minors do contribute to fandom (I have a personal policy in place to only like posts because personally I feel very odd and awkward even attempting to interact with anyone under like 23 much less under 18), y'all do need to recognize that it's not just for and by you. we have been here since before we were your age (I've been interacting with some fandoms since I was 10! yes, that's why I say there's people who are too young to be on the Internet), we have followed in the footsteps of the adults who started conventions, cosplay, fanzines, fan meetups, themed parties and the like, we now continue their work with fangames, Multi Animator Projects, webcomics, etc. and yes, there are and can be exceptionally talented minors but they are exceptions because everyone goes at their own pace and some of y'all learn fast. I have adult friends in fandom who are starting in art, who are just now learning the skills to make their fanart and OCs, and writing from both can be very hit or miss for the same reasons

listen what I'm saying is that both groups need better help from social media sites and companies to keep us separated because as many Internet safety tips as can be shared or genuinely needed warning posts can be made we are both stuck in this mess due to outside society. we need the ability to keep our different types of groups to themselves so minors can have their fun safely and talk and ramble and be as 'cringe' as they want, but so can adults in their respective areas because we are going to make the content regardless of someone else's ideals or demands. there needs to be better rules in place to keep us from clashing and to keep minors safe because it feels like (so my opinion) Internet safety is being forgotten

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

September MC & OCs of the Month - Special Edition: Celia Moore

Help us in welcoming September's MCs and OCs of the month! That's right, plural! Most months, CFWC highlights one randomly selected MC or OC from our Meet My MC / OC List. (More info here.) But this month, we're doing something different.

In August, @lilyoffandoms hosted a Writers Appreciation Month, and we announced the September Writer of the Month would be selected from its participants. But all participants agreed - Lily deserved the honor! Still, we wanted to do something nice for the eleven writers who elected to participate to help uplift other writers in the fandom. So, this month, each of the eleven participants will have one of their MCs or OCs highlighted.

We will introduce each MC / OC individually, and once all eleven have been highlighted, a masterlist for the month will be created. We hope you enjoy getting to know all about them!

The ninth MC of the Month is @trappedinfanfiction 's Celia Moore!

Learn more about Celia below...

In your own words, tell us what you like most about your MC. 

It’s hard to say exactly what I like most about her, but probably her dedication. She doesn’t back down when things don’t go her way and will always do everything she can to do what she believes is right. She has worked hard to end up where she has, and she knows it; she won’t let the words of others destroy her own accomplishments. 

Do you feel your MC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

I feel like I put some of myself in every MC/OC I have, and Celia is no different. She might be the one that I am the most alike, but at the same time, she’s a lot different from me. Maybe a bit more like how I want to be. She’s passionate and not afraid to speak up if something is wrong and is willing to take risks to turn things in a better direction, especially in the medical world. She’s also a lot more social than me. While she enjoys her alone time and keeps a smaller circle of very close friends, she doesn’t really have a problem talking and getting to know new people. 

What is most important to your MC? What is their motivation in life?

The most important thing for Celia is the people around her, her family, friends and patients. They are her motivation. She wants them to have a good life and wants to help where she can. She hates where the medical world is heading, where money is becoming more important than what the people needs. As her influence in the medical world grows, she uses her privilege to work for a world where people don’t have to go into a life-time of debt just to get the help they need, and that no one should be turned away just because of their looks and identity. 

What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes? 

People who always think they know best because they googled something and generally rude/intolerant people. “Oh, you’re a woman? You have to be a nurse. Let me speak to a man.” is something she hears a lot, and it makes her blood boil.

If your MC could change one thing - anything - what would it be? 

If she could change the world, she would. She knows it’s impossible in reality, but through her work she knows she at least can help her patients. She will do her very best to give every single patient the help they need. Be it someone to talk to, or finding the right treatment.

What is your MC’s favorite quote or song? 

This one is so hard! I never have any idea when I am asked about music, because what I listen to isn’t necessarily what my MC/OCs would like and I honestly can’t even settle on my own favorites. However, I can see her liking Raleigh Carrera’s music.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC?

I never believed that I would ever post any of my writing, but Celia has been my door into sharing it. She has developed into her own character outside the MC I played as in Open Heart and I have had so much fun writing her story. She was my escape during the pandemic and I have gotten so many friends in the fandom because of her. Some have left, and some are still here, and I am grateful for every single one. I never believed what was supposed to be a small drabble would lead to where things are now.

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tags @inseasofgreen @theink-stainedfolk and @drchenquill!

OC Questionaire (Mega Edition)

My questions:

What's the one place you wish you could be at this very moment?

Who do you go to the most for emotional support?

Do you tend to be a night owl or an early bird?

Are you petty?

Do you forgive easily?

Would you describe yourself as very emotional?

What's one thing you wish people understood about you?

If you could relive any moment in your life, what would it be and why?

What's a habit you wish you could break?

I think I'll answer for my little freak of a fae ghost, Pash

What's the one place you wish you could be at this very moment?

Hell, if I know. Anywhere, I guess. I've always wanted to see the world, but never managed it, so drop me any place and I'll probably be happy.

Who do you go to the most for emotional support?

Bah, I don't need emotional support! I'm Fair Folk. I do what I please and take what I want. ...But Anarac is a really great listener when I need to talk, just don't tell anyone I said that.

Do you tend to be a night owl or an early bird?

Night owl, for sure. I'm a musician by trade, so I'm used to late hours and lazy mornings. They always say you can sleep when you're dead, and I've found that to be true, but it hasn't stopped me from staying up til the crack of dawn many a time.

Are you petty?

A fellow once said my hair looked funny during a show, so I snuck up to his room and dyed his beard green. Never even learned the bastard's name. Does that answer your question?

Do you forgive easily?

In the Exumbra Hive, you learn not to take things personally. I don't care if someone trips me because they think it's funny - I'll get them back when I sleep with their wife. We're all out for our own pleasure in this world, so you can't get mad when someone steps on your toes following what they want. You'd do the same to them, after all.

Would you describe yourself as very emotional?

Ah, I don't think so. My crewmates call me laid-back. I just tend to let things wash over me and don't get too troubled about it.

What's one thing you wish people understood about you?

I'm sorry, but Illari folk always get their britches in such a twist over the smallest things. When I take the ship's hammock, it's not because I hate you personally. It's because I want a good night's sleep and I'm quicker than you. If you wanted the hammock, you should've taken it from me. I'm not going to be mad - if you're bigger and stronger and toss me out, that's just the way the world works.

If you could relive any moment in your life, what would it be and why?

Of my life? Playing my first gig, easily. ...Or maybe my first excursion past the Hive walls. I can't decide. It should be my first gig. I'll go with that one.

What's a habit you wish you could break?

Why would I break a habit if it's enjoyable? I can't say I really have too many habits, to be fair. I'm not the addictive type - you'll want the captain for that.

He's really normal until he's not. I'll tag @cedar-sunshine @nofuckingideawhatsgoingon @gothamxwattpad @the-golden-comet and anyone else who wants to play :)

Your questions:

Do you have a chore you absolutely hate?

Tell me an embarrassing childhood story

Are you a good person?

[decks-writing-blog]

The Borealis: Chapter One: How Do You Know That?

Summary: Gordon and Alyx go to the arctic to find the Borealis.

[A/N] First a disclaimer: I haven't beat Half-Life Alyx yet. I started it the same day I started writing this fic but then I got Covid and injured my side coughing. Thus there was a solid 3 week span in which I couldn't play it because I was too physically unwell to do so, thus I finished this fic without having finished the game. I know how it ends though (I accidentally got spoiled before I even started playing) but because I don't know the context surrounding that, I chose to go about achieving the same thing in a different way. Especially since said different way allows for a good opening to this fic and lets me treat the other 2 Gordon focused HL fics I've written to be canon to this fic (you don't have to read those to understand this one though). So basically, if this fic contradicts something in Alyx, that's why. I'm able to play again though (thankfully, I've been itching to continue because I love the game) so I might be able to catch some of that in editing but we'll see because I play VR games quite slowly.

Second: Half-Life 3 confirmed! Yeah, yeah, old joke, but it's relevant to me now so I'm making it again. Basically I was super frustrated that we're never going to get a canon conclusion to the Half-Life story (the Epistle 3 doesn't count, it directly contradicts what is now canon thanks to Alyx and would've changed drastically during the development of the game, so it doesn't satisfy me at all) so I thought it might be fun try to write a conclusion to the story myself. I didn't write it as a 'video game story' because it's not a video game, thus it's not really me trying to write Half-Life 3. Just me taking where Ep 2 left off and continuing the story, focusing more on the characters and their relationship because character focused writing is my strength and what I enjoy writing the most. That being said, this fic did actually push my writing skills a bit, I feel like I've improved because of it.

Also Content Warning for the fic as a whole but it also opens with Temporary Major Character Death. (Which is why the Keep Reading cut is right under this author's note.) Time resets and Gordon comes back when he dies, he Kills Himself a few times to accomplish this. Also, another far less severe warning but potentially still important: OCs pop up throughout the fic as the plot demands so if you're hard against OCs in fanworks, maybe this fic ain't for you.

~

Alyx sobbed over Eli’s body, pressing on his chest rhythmically… or attempting to be rhythmic, she was too frantic, sobbing too hard. Not that that mattered; the blood pooling on the ground, leaking from the hole in the back of Eli’s head made it clear just how futile that effort at resuscitation was regardless of how good it was. One couldn’t be expected to think rationally after watching a loved one die.

Shaking off the last of the dizziness, Gordon sat up. He fumbled along the ground until he found where his pistol, usually magnetized to the HEV suit’s leg, had fallen to. Lifting it, he pressed it to his forehead. Killing himself was in ways worse than someone or something else killing him but that didn’t make it any less necessary. If he had this power, he was obligated to use it for good.

Closing his eyes, he focused. Right after the rocket launch, before they stepped outside would be a good spot to return to. He pulled the trigger.

As always, he blessedly didn’t hear the gunshot or feel the bullet enter his brain; it was too fast for human senses to register, making it in other ways the best way to reset time. Instead, one second Alyx was sobbing desperately, the next everyone was congratulating themselves and each other on the successful launch of the rocket. Again to Gordon but to them it would be the first time; he was the only one who ever remembered.

Opening his eyes, he stood in front of the rocket’s command console. Through the window the trail of the rocket was still visible, the portal already dissipating. A victory for sure, one he wasn’t going to let be ruined by Eli’s or anyone else’s death.

He knocked on the desk with the metal part of the HEV suit’s glove, getting everyone’s eyes on him. Not something he did often, it was easier to let people talk even if he’d heard it before – it often gave him time to rest, even if it was only for a little while and not a proper sit down or nap – but given where the Advisors had come from it might be possible to get the jump on them instead of the other way around.

“Two Advisors are coming,” he signed. “Or are already here, waiting on the hanger roof.”

The smiles on everyone’s face dimmed. “How would you know that?” Eli, blessedly alive and well again, asked. “Not that I doubt you but… I suppose I perhaps shouldn’t ask.”

Gordon had considered telling them about his dying and resetting thing several times now but… there was no need to burden anyone else with his suffering or the news that he’d watched them die. And so it was indeed best not to ask how he knew because he wasn’t going to answer.

“I don’t see how they could possibly be here and us not know about it,” Mangusson said. “But fine, I’ll send someone to go look.”

“Send Dog.” If he could get the jump on one or both of the Advisors again, their chances were better. “I’ll go too. You,” Gordon indicated Eli, “stay with here with him.” He pointed to Kleiner.

Before Eli could try to protest or agree to the order, Alyx cut in. “You should listen to him, Dad. He knows things sometimes. It saved our lives on the way here more than once.”

“I’m inclined to agree,” Dr. Kleiner said, stepping up next to Eli. “Gordon did just kill a whole armada of striders after all. So if he says there’s danger and you should hang back, it’s probably wise to listen.”

Whether Eli even wanted to try to voice a protest or not, Gordon was already headed through the door. Alyx wasn’t far behind. As she paused to whistle for Dog, Gordon continued forward to the hanger. Upon stepping into it, it looked just as innocuous as it had before. No mental pulse, bringing a headache and distorted vision. Perhaps the Advisors were getting better at reigning that in. Unfortunate in that it meant it wouldn’t be as easy as Gordon had been thinking to know when one was nearby.

Continuing forward, he kept his eyes glued on the window the Advisors had seemingly come through. Not bothering with the elevator, he vaulted over the railing, landing with a clank on the hanger floor. He approached the helicopter.

Nothing… nothing… A loud clatter came from the roof. A moment later one of the windows shattered as Dog, clutching one of the Advisors came spiraling through it. Dog’s spare claw ripped at what looked like its face, pulling bits off, thick oil like blood oozing out.

“Holy shit.” Alyx’s voice came the right, seemingly by the entrance. “Gordon, you were right. Get him Dog! Fuck him up!”

Gordon pulled out and unpacked the rocket launcher. The second one had to be… Ah, there it was, floating through the broken window, perhaps giving chase. He loaded a rocket, aimed, and fired. With how close it was, there was no way it didn’t hit. … Except, moments before contact, the rocket veered, curving off to just barely miss instead. Damn it. Fighting these things wasn’t going to be easy, huh?

The Advisor’s trajectory changed, coming quickly towards him instead. Pain pulsed in his head, his vision blurring. The rocket launcher landed at his feet with a clatter as a now familiar force pushed on his body. It locked his limbs to his sides as it forced him up against the wall once more. Struggling was futile but he did it anyway, thrashing as much as the telekinetic force holding him would let him. Which wasn’t much.

Somewhere Alyx shouted something and a gun went off. The Advisor made a pained sound as just for a moment, the force holding Gordon vanished. It came again before he could even finish falling, pressing into his chest and making it hard to breath.

He slid along the wall, his HEV suit scraping loudly against it as the Advisor moved toward the entrance and thus presumably Alyx. A moment later she was crying out again as she was pushed up next to him. And then they were moving again, the Advisor holding them against the wall as it moved towards where Dog was seemingly finishing off its companion.

Said counterpart Gordon couldn’t see particularly well from this angle but it was on the floor, partially deflated, its blood pooling around it as it twitched and shuddered. Atop it, Dog, seemed to deem he’d done enough before turning and… too late, the second Advisor was in range. Dog’s attempted leap towards it ended abruptly, leaving him hovering in the air, held so tight, he couldn’t move.

His form shuddered and shook for a second before with a ear piercing screech of tearing metal, his body tore apart and crumpled. The light in his eye dimmed and went out before he was dropped to land in a crumpled heap of metal and still sparking wires. No sign of movement.

“Dog!” Alyx screamed, struggling just as uselessly as when she’d tried to save Eli.

With a sigh, Gordon gave up, going limp as the Advisor’s supernatural grip would let him. He’d messed up again. For how much everyone revered him, he did that a lot. If anyone knew even the half of it, they likely wouldn’t look up to him so much. Hopefully his death this time would be fast.

The Advisor turned its attention back onto the two of them. It pulled Gordon towards itself. Good; watching Alyx die was always hard.

“Don’t you dare! Leave him alone!”

If the Advisor was even capable of understanding human speech, it showed no sign of it as its tentacle slipped out of it head towards Gordon. He would’ve told Alyx to look away but well… he couldn’t. Perhaps closing his eyes would be wise but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do that either.

It turned him, eliminating the temptation to look anyway by making it impossible to as it nosed at the back of his neck. Wet and slimy, he shuddered a moment before something sharp and needle like extended out of it, forcing its way through skin and bone. His whole body jerked with it, spasming in the Advisor’s telekinetic grip. Only for a moment as as all sensation vanished, leaving him utterly numb. A pressure built in his head, almost like it was about to…

Blinking open his eyes, he was back in the rocket control room. He flexed his hands, working the shakes out of them as he took deep breaths to steady himself as best he could. Curling up in a ball and crying about it never helped anyone. If anything, with how respected he now was, it’d make it worse. Also, he just plain didn’t have time to freak out about dying for the umpteenth time even if it was a new an awful way to do so. He had to stop thinking about it.

He’d failed again but he had learned something. The Advisors could be defeated and their telekinesis had a range, a seemingly fairly short one. So he just had to get the jump on both of them and stay out of their range otherwise. Easier said than done but it was far from the first time he’d had to do something seemingly impossible. With infinite tries anything was possible. … Hopefully he wouldn’t need infinite though. Dying sucked.

Once he had himself as in control as he could make himself, he knocked the back of the desk again, once more interrupting the chatter around him. “Two Advisors on the hanger roof,” he signed. “I need Dog to help take them out. You and you,” he indicated Eli and Kleiner, “stay here.” He turned and headed for the exit.

“Wait. How do you know that?” It was Magnusson who asked this time.

Gordon didn’t bother to respond.

“We should listen to him,” Alyx said as he paused at the door, holding it for her. “He knows things sometimes. It saved our lives on the way here more than once. So we’ll handle whatever it is, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m inclined to…” Kleiner began, the rest of his sentence being cut off as the door closed behind Alyx.

She whistled for Dog as they came to a stop a short distance away. He came bounding over from wherever he’d been waiting for her. “They’re on the hanger roof, you said?”

“Yes. I want Dog to throw me at one of them while he jumps the other.”

“Uh… that sounds dangerous. Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Dog had proven twice now that the Advisors couldn’t use their telekinesis when too distracted. Gordon just had to do the same thing Dog did and they could kill both… theoretically.

Alyx frowned. “How do you know that? I mean… you were right about other times the Combine jumped us, yeah, but this is awfully specific. Not that I don’t trust you but… you know.”

If Gordon were to ever tell anyone, it’d be her. Her knowing would be helpful in some instances but… as long as she continued to trust him and would do as he asked without an explanation, he wouldn’t burden her. Dying over and over to prevent the true death of others was his trial to endure, not talking about it made it easier to bear. So… “Trust me.”

“Okay.” She sighed and turned to Dog. “Dog, there are two Advisors on the hanger roof. Gordon wants you to throw him at one of them while you jump the other one. Can you do that?”

Dog shuffled as he nodded, seemingly eager for action. Hopefully when all this was done Gordon would get a chance to finally chat with Eli about Dog’s construction and how sentient he was. Such peace seemed impossible to reach but… hopefully one day it wouldn’t.

Reaching back Gordon unhooked the crossbow from his back and unfolded it before handing it to Alyx. “Stay back. Shoot from a distance.” He handed her a bundle of bolts next.

“Got it. Good luck.”

“You too.” He turned and climbed onto Dog’s back. He locked the fingers of one hand in place just in time to not fall off as Dog took bounding off towards the hanger.

~

Another death and then another and another. It was not the most painful of deaths to have his brain sucked out but the violation brought its own horror, making it among the more unpleasant ways to die.

The next attempt ended with both Advisors dead but Dog was busted and broken beyond repair too. A robot, yes but… how sentient was this robot? Enough to be worth saving? Seemingly so. But more importantly, Alyx was fond of him, reason enough to save him but also, said fondness had rubbed of onto Gordon and thus he lifted his pistol and shot himself to try again.

It was three more attempts before finally, finally the Advisors were both dead without bringing anyone else with them. As with many battles, victory had largely come down to luck.

Panting for breath, Gordon shot the deflating body of the Advisor beneath his feet a few more times, emptying the rest of his loaded shotgun shells into it. Its blood was thick and in the context of being in a hanger looked not unlike motor oil if not for its source.

Reloading the shotgun, he strolled over to the other side of the helicopter. Dog was atop the other Advisor’s body. It was pounded flat already, clearly dead, but just because he was mad, Gordon emptied a few shells into what looked like where its face had once been anyway. These things sucked, pun intended.

“Holy shit, Gordon, that was awesome.” Alyx said as she ran up, still holding the crossbow.

Gordon took a hand off the shotgun to give her a quick, “Thanks.” Not for the compliment though, it hadn’t felt awesome in the least, but because this attempt wasn’t a flop solely due to her getting into position just in time to to hit the Advisor and break its telekinesis before Gordon could be forced to drop his gun again. Having a companion was endlessly a thing to be grateful for. He would move the world for her if she wanted him to.

Her having no idea the depths of what she did for him though, he didn’t express that sentiment as he instead started back for the hanger exit. He had to double check and make sure everyone was alive and thus he was free to continue.

~

Cleaning up the Advisors’ bodies took some time as did sending teams to patrol the whole of the White Forest base, making sure no more unwanted surprises had made their way in somehow. But once done with that, there was a rush to start getting the helicopter ready for Gordon and Alyx to leave as soon as possible before something else went wrong that might jeopardize their mission.

No time to waste with proper rest, there never was. It was always one thing after another, endlessly. They had a whole alien army to fight, a world to save. And it had to be Gordon because in everyone else’s eyes he could consistently do and survive the impossible without much issue. But even if everyone knew the truth, he was still the best one for the job based solely off the fact that with infinite retries he could ensure the outcome he wanted even if he had to suffer for it.

But if Eli, Kleiner or anyone else Gordon cared for died while he was away, he couldn’t undo it, not as easily anyway. Something that had always been the case but after watching Eli die, it now seemed more of a prevalent threat than ever before. Making the prospect of leaving difficult. But alas, this power of his gave him the best shot at reaching the Borealis and then hopefully using it to get the Combine off Earth. Or to follow Eli’s warnings and destroy it before someone else, such as the Combine, could use it. He would decide when he got there. Regardless, he had no real choice but to roll with it and let Eli bundle him and Alyx with enough supplies and equipment to hopefully get them to the Borealis.

“No Dog, I’m sorry, you can’t come,” Alyx said as they stood by, waiting for the helicopter to finish being loaded for their journey. “You have to stay here and help Dad and the rest of the resistance, okay? They need your help and uh, you’re too heavy. We gotta travel light as we can to stretch our fuel as far as it’ll go.”

Dog shuffled and did the robot equivalent of a whine, the panels on his head pulling back as if wilting. Alyx patted his head. He leaned into it, indicating once more that he was capable of feeling in some capacity, even if it was perhaps only emotional. … Gordon would’ve loved the chance to have worked on him with Eli.

“I’ll take good care of him,” Eli said. “And I’m sure he’ll take good care of us.”

“And you two take care of each other,” Kleiner added. Having had time to finish monitoring the rocket he’d come out to the hanger to see them off. “We’ll be in radio contact with you as much as we can but it’s a long way so I’m not sure how much that’ll be. So mostly you’ll have to watch out for each other.”

“Well we made it this far together, so I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Her optimism was admirable. Even if from her perspective everything had gone well, there was still so much that could go wrong.

“And remember, once you reach the Borealis don’t jump right into activating it. I still think its our best shot at winning this war but that doesn’t mean don’t be cautious about it. Try to figure out what it does first if you can.”

“And if you can’t figure out what it does, consider not messing with it at all.” Eli gave Kleiner a pointed look. The two of them were going to argue about this more once Gordon and Alyx left, huh? Hopefully it wouldn’t cause too many problems between them.

“We’ll figure it out once we get there. But I guess uh… this is goodbye for now. Gosh, I can’t believe I’m the one being sent on this. Not that I don’t wanna go but…” Alyx threw her arms around Eli. “I’ll miss you guys.”

“I’ll miss you too, sweetie.”

Pulling back, Alyx hugged Kleiner next. “Uh… yes,” he said, adjusting his glasses as he pulled back. “Be sure to come back safe as quick as you can. Bring Gordon back too if at all possible.”

“Of course I’ll bring him back. What do you mean if possible?”

“Well I mean, after the Black Mesa incident, when he killed the Nihilanth…” Kleiner trialed off as he glanced at Gordon. “You know.”

Grimacing, Alyx turned to look back at Gordon too. “Oh yeah, huh? Um… I know you guys said I don’t need to know but I think I’ve earned the right to be told why and how he was frozen in time for twenty years, especially since I’m going with him on this and thus might have to try to stop it from happening again.”

Damn! That was possible, wasn’t it? To hide his flinch, Gordon took a step back. Once done here, the man in the suit might put him back into the void until he was needed for another job. One he couldn’t refuse because the alternative was death which he came back from. The vortiguants had seemed to pull him out of the man’s hold but… how sure was that really?

He had to take a series of deep breaths to stave off the sudden need to reach for something to steady himself; there was nothing around to grab. That was something best not thought about. He could only hope for mercy at the end of this. Surely he’d earned it, right? The suited man might not care though because why would he? Gordon was just a tool to help accomplish whatever his mysterious goals were. If so there was nothing he could about that so he had to stop thinking about it. He had to finish this first, worrying about what would happen after would only make that task harder. No more thinking about that or anything else. Only what was right in front of him mattered.

“A man in a suit, huh?” Alyx was saying as Gordon focused himself back in the present. Damn it, they were still talking about him. “Does he have a… briefcase?”

“You’ve seen him.” Eli grimaced, more angry with this confirmation than shocked as he was when he’d first learned of it.

“Maybe, I don’t know. It feels like I might’ve had a dream about him or something. What does he want?”

“We don’t know,” Kleiner replied. “We have a few theories but we don’t have time to go over them right now. You two have to get going before something else comes up. There’s no time to waste.”

Another round of hugs between them, this time Alyx hugged Dog too. “We’ll talk more about this once this is all over though, got it?” She then turned and started for the helicopter.

Before Gordon could finish turning to follow, Eli stepped towards him. “Take good care of her, please. Keep her safe.”

“I will, I promise.” Gordon wouldn’t dream of doing anything different.

“Thank you.” Eli took another step towards him, opening his arms for a hug.

Gordon couldn’t properly feel it through the HEV suit but… it took all his willpower not to cling to it in desperation. The comforts of physical touch had become foreign to him. And so even as brief as the hug was, it still almost brought tears to his eyes by the time it ended.

“Take care of yourself too.”

Gordon couldn’t promise that, not with how often he had to turn his gun on himself to reset time to save someone. So instead, before he did tear up anyway, he turned away and headed for the helicopter.

From there, it wasn’t long before they were getting ready to take off. Since neither of them knew how to fly a helicopter and thus couldn’t be trusted flying all the way to the arctic, a pilot by the name of Mori joined them. Gordon was offered the passenger seat but declined, choosing the back instead. There was more room to lay down, something he really needed. Surprisingly Alyx joined him, sitting in the row of seats across from. “In case you need to say something to Mori,” she said in way of explanation without even needing to be asked.

“Thanks,” he signed. Her talking for him was probably wise.

“All right,” Mori said from their spot in the cockpit’s driver seat. “Headsets and seat belts on and then we’re off to the arctic fast as we can go.”

Gordon put the headset on – being able to hear them even when the helicopter was running was important after all – but didn’t buckle in. Instead he lay down, using one of their packs of supplies as a pillow. It wasn’t comfortable but that didn’t matter, he hadn’t had more than three or so hours of sleep at a time since the night before the resonance cascade, technically more than twenty years ago. So he was going to sleep as much as he possibly could on this flight.

~

Next Chapter

[relevant-url-incoming]

Since one of my favourite things in fanfic is writing tropes that force characters to look at their own character development and how things have changed (amnesia, time travel, de-aging...) and since I shouldn't/can't/probably won't write a different thing for all my ocs (don't think I haven't thought about it, rip). Here's a little list of what kinds of things each character would experience in a story like that and what would freak them out the most about who they become:

Kitiver is really easy, since he'd be deeply horrified by his own fall. The fact that he's still recognisably anxious and still friendly to the people he trusts makes it hurt worse, really, because in his mind it drives home just how close to a fall he is. He's also very, very confused by the fact that Alliance Era him is married to some spy, like. He never really thought romance would be a thing for him and now there's future!Kit getting all touchy and soft over a dude but apparently that had nothing to do with his fall, either? Lots of panic attacks and existential crises in this hypothetical story.

If this is a story where Kaoja meets her future self, she doesn't know why future!Kaoja smiles so much. If this is one of the other options, everyone else is very uncomfortable around her because young Kaoja is so grim and controlled. By the time of the Alliance Kaoja has a husband and a daughter, and her relationship with her kid is extremely fraught for Reasons I'll save for another post, meaning young!Kaoja is walking around like "why does this child hate me???" and nobody wants to tell her because trouble with loved ones has always been the button you don't want to push with her. (Her daughter would have a whole slew of fucked up feelings about the situation, too... oh god i want to write it.)

Exchei is much the same person she was, but her surroundings/circumstance are so vastly different she would feel like she just did a bodyswap. Being on the Dark Council? absolutely insane, no way that's her. All these people who claim to like and trust and obey her? She believes them, or she wants to so badly, but the sudden influx of them makes her feel like there's some ulterior motive to all this. She resorts to seducing anyone she halfway likes the looks of, because if people think she's sexy or are trying to get something out of her that means they like her for a reason. Andronikos takes this in stride, though he proceeds to scare the shit out of her by talking about feelings while the sexytimes are happening since for him that's just normal. Talos is, understandably, deeply appalled. This confuses Exchei even more because why does he like her then

The funniest thing about Rig (funny-sad but also funny-this-is-your-own-fault) is that at first he wouldn't notice a major difference. Still working as a bounty hunter. Still alone. Now he's got clout, apparently, and his childhood best friend is a Sith Lord so good for her, but he doesn't seem to have changed much. Then people keep dancing around certain subjects when they talk to him. Then he meets people who see him and switch directions, people Exchei tells him used to be on his crew. Then someone he's never met before gets mad at him for missing a memorial to Torian, who he also doesn't know he knew, but from the sound of it that's just how this person expected him to act. He starts to see holes, the shapes of people and things he gained and then lost, and maybe if we're very lucky he actually introspects about why that might be (not fucking likely. sigh.)

[snnydcysarch]

GETTING TO KNOW YOU .

respond to the following prompts out of character . then , tag 9 others that you'd like to get to know a little bit better .

ROLEPLAYER NAME: lumi

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: she / her

MUSE NAME: allison jade "sonny" munroe

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: discord if we're mutuals, especially since tumblr eats my ims

EXPERIENCE: i want to say 2012??? i was a baby and should have NOT been here jkbsjgbrekj

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: yes

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: am i about to copy and paste my list since i have done this before? you bet your ass i am

plagiarism. whether it be a character or a plot idea, don't steal from anybody. people work hard on their characters and plots. i understand not many plots can be considered original, but everyone comes up with their own twists. stop stealing.

white washing. as a poc person, i have dealt with a lot of racism both irl and on tumblr. it was to a point i took two years off of this hellsite. so do not change a poc character into a white one. we've been erased as it is. and if you struggle trying to match a character to its race, do not feel afraid to ask someone for help on it. there are also websites that show you an fc's ethnicity as well.

not knowing where the line is between mun and muse. they are two completely different things.

god modding. for the love of all that is chuck, do not control what anyone else's character does!! we all control our own characters and that's how it should be. this also means doing something crazy that someone else may not approve of so if you want to do something, ask first.

force ship, simple as that

anon hate. seriously, that kind of negativity should never be welcomed nor encouraged. we all come here to escape as it is so just let everyone have fun writing.

people acting better than others. i'm sorry but no one is superior over anyone else.

lack of communication. we're all grown adults here. if there's a problem, just communicate.

trash talking someone's portrayal. realistically, we all interpret canon characters differently than others and that is okay. no one's version is right or wrong. no one is the "chanel/walmart" version.

shit stirrers. people don't get along sometimes, it happens. but don't be someone who fuels the fire between two people when all they wanted was to clear the air and talk.

rushing people to reply and shaming them when they don't reply fast enough. everyone has real lives and can't always get to it. now a simple nudge to let someone know they replied maybe weeks later just in case they missed it is fine. but if you're going to put pressure on people? stop.

using mental health as an excuse to be a shitty person. many people here suffer with different kinds of disorders and that is no one's fault. but that does not mean it's a pass to be a horrible person. you choose how to treat people around you. you choose whether or not to be a good person.

i can go on and on, but we don't have time for that so here is the rest of the list on the top of my head: self victimizing, ignoring triggers, trying to control your rp partners, bullying, not understanding that rping is a hobby and not a jobby, lack of respect for female characters both canon and oc, ect.

PLOTS OR MEMES: yes. honestly i like memes to start things off that lead into plots. so yes.

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: literally depends on my mood rkbsgjrekbg i like short things that lead into long things.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: when i'm not depressy and burnt out kjrebgsjkrbe

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: we have similar traits? we both go out of our way to help people before we burn ourselves out. we both get treated poorly by the people we are close to fml. we're both very clumsy. she's also not afraid to stand up for herself, which i have been better at. she will fight for those she loves and same. we both can't flirt for shit. however, sonny is A LOT nicer than me.

TAGGED BY : @lupaeus

TAGGING : YOU X 9

[panvnsleake]

rocking back and forth over this. this has affected us permanently

got some stuff to say. do note im like the most illiterate person ever so its likely none of these speculations are right 🤑🤑🤑

long post ahead brace yourself -🍞

the part 30 seconds in with charlie and airy. i mean airy created his world yaknow. but much like a kid he doesn't have much experience with being whats basically god. this airy is pre season one (jessie, julien, oscar, max, sandra and thomas). he's testing out his abilities and stuff yaknow

38 seconds in where airy is like. a monster's silhouette for one frame. i think this shows how um. 1st batch of s2 saw airy as a monster. he's one solid color because they never see his face or know him any deeper than "guy who kidnapped me and forced me to compete in his show and caused trauma in the process". ya

50 seconds in he looks confused when he pulls up the awesome roots. maybe like uh. him trying/failing to understand his power and impact over people. in the show he almost/actually kills someone and he's just like "woops. sorry." because. he doesn't understand how powerful he is. he's playing god and yet to him this is all just him having fun

atom not having the same amount of electrons as protons (which means he's probably not a stable isotope) makes me a teeny tiny bit upset im sorry its so dumb. we're not mad at you franklin promise

58 sec the roots are consuming him the show is consuming him the plane is his everything

1 min 7 sec. the plane, which he created for fun, ends up being his and others' demise. or something

1 min 13 sec this has to mean something. do you see how Darker Airy has like. horns. and is cracked unlike Lighter Airy. maybe LIghter Airy is like. past airy and Darker Airy is present airy, or lighter is how he really is and darker is how the contestants percieve him??? dunno :(

1 min 25 sec "everyone else is like me" yeah dude you're right. when i got here airy was also here and i started noticing him and i aren't really that different. the contestants have similarities to him. some have more than others but you can compare and contrast everyone to airy. also we like how stone's eyes are open. and how airy's crack is the sun. do you guys remember that the sun was missing after airy died in one 18. Yeah.

1 min 32 sec and any other scene with the Plants And Roots on contestants/airy. Yet again the show took over their lives some way or another. It had an impact on them. liams job, relationships, dignity and existence were all thrown away because of ONE.

1 min 35 sec lightning because 1. ONE 13 2. airy's power is causing harm to him. i think maybe

1 min 46 sec OH MY TRILOBITE THIS IS WHEN BRYCE REJOINS HOW DID WE JSUT REGISTER THAT. and. there's a daffodil in the background THOSE MEAN REBIRTH WE SEARCHED IT UP FOR AN OC!!

1 sec later we SHOUTED because of this oh my TRILOBITE. we just love this part so much the main 4 are much more similar to airy then they'd enjoy knowing. stares my source (charlotte) down

THE WHOLE ANIMAL SEGMENT IS SO PRETTY. OH TRILOBITE... okay ummm i think this represents airy's control over stuff and also his disconnection from society. yeha. notice how all (i think. maybe the bunny and bugs dont count but shhh) these animals are wild. there's not one that's a typical domestic animal. and i think thats so awesome

2 min 24 sec thats probably an actual compound but i cant figure out which one 💔💔💔 uhhh this means something too probably but like im getting cramps and im moody right now soryg

last scene. like. 2 min 30 sec. liam is like. i dont think hes pretty a-oj guys. haha. maybe this hints at like. cycles. moon cycle. everythings a damn cycle. liam becomes the next airy 🤑🤑🤑

that white flower that pops up on amelias arm and liams shoulder probably has symbolism too but i cant identify it....oughhhhh

okay thanks for coming to my ramble. you're free now -🍞

go see https://youtu.be/3w_HJduFh5o?si=owL4eEGnLXf7wX9J