#same thing venti too crying

[dalandan012]

logging in on the internet to defend canonically gay men from being feminized like crazy

[areislol]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝SWEET!❞

►— pairings. various genshin men x fem! reader

►— warnings. smut, cursing, dirty talk, just smutty. implied reader has somewhat thick thighs, 18+ fingering, MDNI

►— synopsis. an alternative title, how do they eat pussy?

►— a/n. been having these thoughts for a bit now i need to jot them down before my obsession grows worse.

►— wordcount. 2.3k

they eat that pussy like it's a religion, his head buried in between your legs, his hands gripping onto your thighs tightly, using his strength to keep your thighs still and from closing in. his eyes are focused solely on your face as he languidly drags his tongue into a line on your wet pussy.

he's addicted, to say the least. the smell, the taste, the lewd and dirty sounds you were making, he loved it all, and all the while as his mouth latches onto your poor abused cunt he whispers the sweetest things in your ear, dirty words as well. he switches between both. on the rare occasions that he does tease you he will whisper the most vile and dirty things you've ever heard, but most of the time he's just craving you, he just can't wait, once you give him the word that he could go down on you he wastes no time and before you know it he's sandwiched between your thighs and giving you an orgasm.

every time he eats you out he reminds you of a starving animal (if you didn't know any better), every time he eats you out you are a mess, and your pussy is a mess. your juices, sweat and saliva combined created a nasty sight it made him achingly hard but even so he prioritizes your pleasure first as he grinds his bulge on the bed. your moans and praises as you grip his hair and push his head deeper in were all he needed while jerking your hips at the same time.

his nose rested on your clit, the air hitting your clit as his tongue relentlessly flicked up and down your folds, he sucks and kisses your clit before adding a finger in. yes, although he does love to eat you out he also loves fingering you as well, the sweet moans and screams you let out just get him so hard it motivates him to eat you out even more. not that he plans on stopping. he barely teases you, he doesn't like the idea of stripping you of the chance to cum because truth be told he really really wants you to cum on his face (and sometimes he unintentionally overstimulates you).

— XIAO, CHILDE, kaveh, CYNO, WRIOTHESLEY, thoma, lyney, VENTI, itto, gorou

teases you while eating you out and teases you before eating you out, he knew what you wanted but continued to tease you, savouring every moment when you squirm and whine for him to go down on you. he's mean, he doesn't stick to one pace and instead chooses to go slow and fast, it's just how your face contorts when he buries his face against your pussy and begins to lick and slurp your folds and just when you're about to cum (he has been teasing your poor pussy for so long the second he begins to actually eat you out you're too sensitive, that's him to blame) he slows down his pace, a frustrated cry leaving your lips as tears brim your eyes, you just wanted him to do it properly.

he doesn't mind fingering you as he licks your clit but he finds it satisfyingly when he knows only he can make you cum with his tongue, when he feels nice he'll finger you with one or two fingers, pumping in and out of your mushy walls as his tongue rolls over your sensitive bud, his tactic never fails to get you cumming in no time.

he won't lie, he loves seeing you in tears as he continues to tease your bud and clit with his tongue, he isn't even giving it his all, his cheeks aren't even pressed against your inner thighs and here you are, let out cries for him to please eat you out, it's adorable. and when he thinks you're ready and he had enough teasing you already he's already lapping at your folds and humming, the vibrations and hums on your sensitive skin make it all the more pleasurable. he isn't that bad though, when he feels bad for you or feels like you've endured enough teasing he'll make sure to make it up by eating you out good (not saying he never does).

that doesn't mean he's not done being mean to you though, he's heavy on eye contact. he loves making eye contact with you as he brutally violates your clit, and he lives to see the faces you make as he inserts one finger in your soaking pussy, juices spilling out of your greedy hole, he loves seeing how you gasp when he swiftly slips in another finger, teasing you as he says how wet you were that he could easily fit in a third finger.

but he hates when you look away in embarrassment, he'll stop doing what he's doing—he'll stop his fingers from bottoming in and out of your pussy, and he'll stop his sucking and licking at your clit when you look away from embarrassment, "getting shy now are we? guess that means i'll have to stop.." you whine and quickly look back at him, looking down and meeting his eyes, his gaze was hot and intense, mouth and cheeks wet with your juices and his saliva, it was dirty.

"keep looking at me as i fuck you with my tongue, you understand? i want to see your face as you cum, i want you to watch me as i make you cum, got that?"

— ALHAITHAM, AYATO, WANDERER, pierro, PANTALONE, TIGHNARI, HEIZOU, DOTTORE, capitano

gentle and soft yet never fails to make you orgasm hard, he relishes in watching your dripping entrance as you wait for him to go down on you. he takes things slow and is very passionate, he considers himself a lucky man every time he eats you out because he knows only he is allowed to be in this position, no one else. he is sort of possessive when in the act when he really thinks about it, no one has eaten your pussy out this good, your moans and cries are only for him to hear.

despite him taking it slowly he is a god at eating pussy (you can't change my mind), he plants soft and tender kisses on your thighs before slowly reaching your inner thighs, you whine and beg for him to hurry up but he only shushes you and reminds you to be patient. "ah, remember to be patient love, i want to savour this moment.." you let out a soft moan and bring your head backwards when he finally kissed your clit.

his hands are tightly yet tenderly holding your legs apart, his hands grabbing a hold of the soft plush of your thighs. he leans in closer to your pussy, his thumb prying your wet pussy slightly open, he stares at it in awe before softly blowing on it, the cold air hitting your sensitive folds. your back arches as a shaky sigh escapes your lips, he looks up from his position and smirks before latching his mouth onto your pussy, it was all so sudden it caught you off-guard but within a couple of seconds the pleasure had taken over your body, your mind was clouded with nothing but pleasure.

he loves it when you yank and grip his hair, pulling him in closer to your pussy just to create more friction. you were so greedy it was cute so he always allowed it, he hummed and moaned softly as he ate you out, the vibrating sensation never failed you made your legs tremble and he knew it. he nips and softly (just barely) bites at your folds before covering them with a long kiss and when he releases he lets out a "pop!", your moans grow louder and louder the more he licks and slurps at your sensitive dripping entrance.

he knows when you're about to cum, the sound of your gasps and moans strained, the way your grip on his hair tightens as you try to pull him in closer to your pussy (it already is but he isn't complaining) and your hips jerking up—he closes his eyes, taking in the moment and makes sure to hold you steady when you finally reach your climax, thighs, hands and legs trembling from the overwhelming feeling of pleasure.

and even after cumming on his face he continues to eat you out (obsessed much), you try to push his head away but he only narrows his eyes at you, it was hot to see him maintaining eye contact with you so well as he licked and slurped up your sweet essence. "don't try to push me away now princess, not after you were so eager to cum and pushed me in so close. just another, please?"

he's the type, that even after you're passed out in bed from cumming, his head's still in between your thighs, bumping his nose onto your clit for stimulation as a few strands of hair tickled your thighs. he really enjoys eating you out, if you can't tell (he doesn't even stop even after you've done passed out) but you know what he enjoys as well? face sitting, the feeling of your soft thighs squeezing his head as you ride his face and nose is everything.

he ignores his own problem when eating you out, his cock was aching, all hot and bothered. but he didn't mind, if anything just seeing you cum from his tongue and mouth made him cum (happened too many times), he's too preoccupied with your pleasure anyway. although if you really do insist on helping him out then... (can he put his dick in?)

— ZHONGLI, DILUC, albedo, BAIZHU, DAINSLEIF, aether, kaeya, KAZUHA, NEUVILLETTE

definition of "pussy drunk", he LOVES eating you out.. so what if he suffocates between your thighs? he will gladly and happily suffocate between your thighs. although he is a bit shy doing it in public the thought of someone walking in the restroom and hearing the lustful moans coming from one closed stall makes him hard, at first he's soft and slow and kissing your thighs but that only lasts for a bit before he's literally making out with your pussy.

he LIVES to hear your praises when you mewl his name and cry out of pleasure, his lips swollen from burying his mouth deeper into your warm pussy, his nails digging into your thighs as juices (was it cum, saliva or sweat? who knows?) coated his chin, dribbling down his neck. it was a sticky mess and he loved it. his eyes are closed shut, brows furrowing his concentration as he sloppily laps over your hot, swollen puffy cunt. and when he does open his eyes he only does it to admire your soaking pussy coated with slick before licking up your cream, and his eyes? god they're so dazed and lustful it makes you feel embarrassed, real pussy drunk.

one thing he will never ever get enough of is the taste and how messy it gets. call him a freak or whatever you want but the sensation of his cheeks and mouth smothered by your juices and arousal as he gently nipped at your folds and slurped up all of your essence, is something to die for. the way your slick rolls down from his lips to his chin and down his neck, the tickling sensation is one he will never forget.

who knows what the slick is made up of? was it from your arousal? was it his spit and drool? perhaps both. there's just something irresistible about how dirty you could get just by his tongue and fingers that does something to him (not to mention the precum leaking out of his boxers), the more you cry out in pleasure and overstimulation makes him crack.

he's extremely skilled when eating pussy, that's just something he's naturally good at but you swear he gets better and better every time.. maybe you're too kind to let him eat you out nearly every day. but the more he goes down on you the more he learns—what spot you like the most, where's the most sensitive part, what combination you like, what pace... you get the jist. one of his favourite things is when you get too overwhelmed with pleasure to the point where your legs are shaking and pushing his head away, crying out for him to stop—that you were full.

"full? already? but i haven't even used my fingers yet..." he sighs (directly onto your pussy) and only ducks his head back in despite your futile attempts to push his head away, he knew your energy was low meaning you couldn't push him away even if you wanted to. he could eat out for hours on end, even days if he could (he would), he gets really delirious when eating you out, it's as if everything around him is gone, he's like his own little world with your pussy. the low groan and grumbled escaping his lips as he licks your clit up and down before sucking on it, letting go with a loud "pop!"

and once again he's back it, his tongue brazenly exploring your cunt before swirling at your poor sensitive bud, with every sharp and precise movement he makes he does it with every intention to make you cum, for like the third time. the way he's alternating between your clit and your needy hole makes your mind crazy, too fucked out to think about anything but the intense pleasure, and with every exhale his warm breath hits your flushed skin, his tongue lapping over your squishy folds. he'll never leave your pussy alone, will he?

— XIAO, ZHONGLI, ALHAITHAM, DILUC

the one thing they all have in common is that in the end when he pulls away he can't tell whether or not you're extremely wet because of your arousal/sweat or his saliva, or maybe it's both, who knows?

note: uuuuhhhhhhh dialogue or the text itself may be a bit icky (I'M NOT GOOD AT WRITING SMUT) so if it irks you just stay quiet and go on about your day. (*′з`b)

taglist: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn @stygianoir @irethepotato @v4an @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls if im missing anyone please tell me because i have an inkling feeling i missed a few..

liking + following + reblogs are very much appreciated!!!

another note: slightly proof read so if you found any spelling/grammar mistakes PLEASE tell me.

[starbunii]

Can I get Baizhu, Venti, Scara, Ei, and Tenko Chabashira with a gf who's deathly terrified of storms/thunder and lightning? Like, every t8me she sees/hears it, her breath audibly hitches but she tries to pretend it's fine? I think I'm not ok, bestie 😭

# . storms 𓂃 ♥︎

𝜗𝜚 ┈ baizhu, venti, scara, ei, tenko x reader (seperate) ! ｡

notes: dude im the exact same way, thunder is litrally so scary it makes me cry everytime lasjfsf

headcanons ノ fluffノfem! reader ノcanon universe

second person pov !! please enjoy! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

-- ♡ --

baizhu

he's immediately taking you to the kitchen, making a calming tea as you're wrapped up in a little blanket

changsheng is waiting there with you, gently licking the tears off your cheeks, slithering on your shoulders in a way that tells you everything is ok

he'll take you to the living room after, making sure everything is well-light as he gently soothes you while you drink your tea

he's brushing your hair out of your face, telling you it's ok as he squeezes you tight, ensuring that you're safe and as close as possible

venti

he doesn't really realize what's wrong at first, only waking up once he realizes you're out of bed

he finds you down in the cellar, huddled up by wine barrels in a little blanket. you're shaking and crying and his heart just can't take it

venti will sit with you, nuzzling close as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear. he'll even pull out the lyre if you want him to, singing soft songs to get you to relax

the two of you will be found sound asleep long after the storm is over, snuggled up together. at long last, you're calm and restful

scara

scara gets it. he's terrified of the sound of thunder too. it reminds him of his mother; of every single thing he's gone through. he hates it; he hates how it reminds him of his past behavior, of who he once was..

the two of you are stuck in bed, clinging together, whimpering at every strike of lightning and clap of thunder. you're on the verge of tears, and so is he

he's practically gripping at your waist while you tug at his hair, the two of you ensuring that you stay together

eventually, you two finally talk things out, fighting through tears. after a long, anxious conversation about the weather, you're both able to fall back asleep

raiden ei

if it's thundering, she's probably upset about something. does that add another layer of fear? i don't know, you tell me

obviously, she's upset about something. something big. but once she sees that look on your face...the tears streaming down your face, the shaky hands, the way your lip trembles ever so slightly...oh, she just can't take it

the weather clears up almost immediately as she rushes to your side, hugging you tightly as her fingers card through your hair. she's fussing over you as though you've just been terribly injured

even when you're not scared anymore, she's still clinging to your side the rest of the night, even (attempting) to make dinner as an apology. it's not edible, but...it's the thought that counts?

tenko

when she sees you crying, she is immediately trying to pick a fight with whoever made you upset (yes, even if it is the sky)

upon realizing it's just the thunder and lightning outside, she quickly pulls you into bed, holding you close and rocking you gently

she's not very good at comforting people, and being so close to a girl (even if she is her girlfriend) makes her just oh-so nervous. but she's more than happy to be your knight in shining armor, protecting you from the scary storm outside

she'll yelp a bit at particularly loud strikes of thunder, but will immediately giggle after, both because of her own silliness and to make you feel a little better about being scared

starbunii 2024 — all rights reserved. do not redistribute or translate to any other platforms

[glitterguts13]

Who would the genshin boys deal with a baby stuck in their pussy. The baby is just there, but every time they stop pushing to breathe, the baby sinks back into their pussy. All they can do is get the baby to a soft bulge before the baby undos their progress

Oh LORD that's just the hottest fucking shit isn't it? Let's go through them one at a time!

Mondstadt

Albedo Oh, he is so frustrated. This isn't how this is supposed to work, he pushes, and the baby comes out. But no matter how hard he tries, his stubborn child just won't come out. Sucrose can just watch, teary eyes, and unable to really do anything. They aren't in distress, just stubborn. Albedo is thankfully clear-headed and able to keep his calm, but he's no less irritated.

Bennett

Of course, this would happen to Benny. He's squatting down over a mirror, trying to see what's happening down there under his heaving belly. Every push causes his little one's head to bulge, starting to burn, but he can't push hard enough to actually get it to crown. He's a crying mess, but he never gives up.

Diluc Stubborn man refuses to ask for help while he's struggling to push the baby out. He's locked in his room, standing braced against the wall. Gravity should be helping, but his baby just won't move. He can feel it pushing free, spreading his pussy open, but in the end, it just keeps slipping back in.

Kaeya Oh, it is everyone's problem. He is screaming, tired, and thoroughly frustrated with the lack of progress. He cursed up a storm, damning everyone and everything because this baby is just stubbornly resting right there. So close, but not close enough.

Mika Poor thing, he's a sobbing mess. He can feel the head under his fingertips when he pushes, but each time he stops to gasp for air, they sink right back inside. There's nothing he can do but keep trying, and praying they'll finally come out.

Razor He's out in the woods, surrounded by the wolves. On all fours, grunting and groaning the most feral sounds. The baby is so close, he knows he can get it out if he just tries harder! But... every time they just slip right back inside.

Venti He's stumbling through the back alleys of Mondstadt looking for somewhere to rest. Heavy in labor, each time he stops to push the head starts to bulge, but it never gets much further. He's tired, and sore, and just wants it to be over.

Liyue

Baizhu The panic is intense and he loses all his composure. He's not strong enough to get them out, he's witnessed people die during childbirth. His own health is terrible on a good day, and deep into labor without the power to expel his baby, he's certain this is how he dies.

Chongyun Swears up and down his child must be a demon for tormenting him this way. Each push brings it right there, so close- but every time he stops, all his progress is wiped away.

Gaming He's got his family by his side, his mother is worried sick. She'd had the same trouble with him, and is by his side, wiping his face and holding his hand. Gaming is screaming and crying, he can feel them under his palm, he's so close to meeting his baby- till they slide right back inside his aching cunt.

Xiao Honestly handles it a little too well. After you've endured the worst pain known to mankind, a stubborn baby is manageable. Not that he isn't exhausted, annoyed, and fed up. He wants this baby out, and it isn't budging.

Xingqui Crying, screaming, gagging, begging. He can't get it out, he just can't. The healers are holding his legs back as far as they can go, but nothing is working to get that stubborn baby to crown.

Zhongli More annoyed than anything. Like Xiao, he's been around a very long time, and he's been through much worse. He's tired, aching all over, fingers constantly slipping into his aching pussy to graze over the head. It's fascinating, but he would like for it to be over now.

Inazuma Arataki Itto Moaning and groaning through the whole thing, deep into a squat. His baby is large, little horns constantly poking into the tender folds of his cunt each time he bares down. He's going to rip open when they finally decide to crown fully.

Ayato Inazuma customs be damned, he is screaming. To hell with what everyone else thinks, to hell with being proper. He's got a baby stuck in his pussy, tormenting him with each weakening push. The midwives look on with sympathy, all they can do is support him since neither are in any real danger.

Gorou Humiliated and ashamed. Kokomi is helping him the best she can, but with his legs spread wide apart, he can see her wince each time the first of his litter slips back inside his belly alongside its littermates. It's going to be a long night.

Kazuha Stays pretty calm, sort of just letting it happen. Pausing between pushes to pant, he takes a moment to brush his fingers over the top of his baby's head, marveling at how amazing it feels. Not the birth part, that part sucks, but the fact his baby is right there.

Heizou Tired, too tired to keep pushing. If his baby wants to stay inside, it can just stay inside. He's not got the energy to keep going.

Thoma Whoever said childbirth was beautiful lied. Each push sends another splattering of fluid gushing around the head, all over the floor he just polished a few days prior. Stubborn child, causing so many problems already.

Sumeru Alhaitham He knows he needs to keep calm and focus. Slow, even breaths, putting all his strength into pushing. It's beyond frustrating to keep them slipping back inside after each attempt, but he knows if he keeps going, something will eventually give.

Cyno Buns come out of ovens a lot easier than this. Nothing funny about having a baby stuck in your cunt while in the middle of a sandstorm. Luckily, with no one around he can keep traveling in between pushes.

Kaveh There isn't a soul in Sumeru who doesn't know what's happening. Kaveh is screaming bloody murder the whole way, swearing up and down he's dying. This must be some sort of divine punishment because there has never been anything more miserable than feeling his baby refusing to come out. Sethos Crying, but doing his best to keep calm. Panic won't help the situation, but it's getting hard not to. Each push sends him closer and closer into a panic attack because why?? Why isn't it coming out??

Tighnari Is fully aware this can happen, but why to him? He's got a full litter in his tummy, ticking and tumbling away, furious that their sibling is halting their progress. Each push is instantly undone when he stops to breathe, sending it right back alongside its unborn siblings.

Fontaine

Freminet Poor thing. He's quiet as a mouse aside from a few whimpers, but it's growing tiring very quickly. His siblings are beside him, coaxing him through it, but they both look grim at the sight of his baby constantly sliding back inside of his dripping pussy.

Lyney Shouting and cursing. The pain is bad enough, but the disapproving look he's getting from Father is so, so much worse.

Neuvillette Locked up in his bathroom soaking in a cool tub, sobbing quietly. The pressure is so intense, and nothing he does is relieving it. Pushing seems so useless, and he wants nothing more than to pull it out. Wrio Not really calm, but quiet and level-headed. Focuses all his efforts into pushing, bracing himself against his office desk as he does so. The head keeps poking out just enough to give him some hope, before it vanishes inside of cunt once more, leaving him irritated and tired. Fatui Dottore Furious, filled with rage. Violently pushes against his belly, legs spread apart on one of his own medical tables. Swearing and cursing, soaked with sweat and wondering if the reason it's stuck has anything to do with the fact it isn't human-

Capitano Doesn't show a single sign that anything is wrong, or that he's even in labor. He's in the middle of a meeting with the other Harbingers, naked from the waist down under his cloak with a baby stuck in his cunt. Pushing quietly when no one is looking.

Pantalone Held up in his office. Anyone who enters is as good as dead, and if this stubborn brat doesn't come out in the next 5 minutes he's going to slam his gut into the corner of his desk to force it out.

Pierro Same thing with Capitano, you'll never know and it's most likely happening right in front of someone.

Tartaglia Unfortunately, he's well aware this can happen because his mother struggled with all of her births. Unfortunately, he's alone, without help in the middle of a mission. Keeps pushing, but nothing helps, cursing each time he feels it retracting into his birth canal.

Wanderer Having the body of a puppet doesn't make him exempt from such troubles. Maybe it causes more trouble because his pussy doesn't stretch as much as a human's should, and each push is met with firm resistance from his modified body, keeping it firmly lodged in his pussy.

[rainynightmoonlight]

You remind me of them

Characters: Venti, Diluc, Zhongli, Xiao, Ei, Kazuha, Heizou, Wanderer, Kaveh

Summary: Self Aware characters when they look at you long enough to see those that they lost.

Warnings: Death, blood, war

A/U: Self aware genshin AU

VENTI

As you were playing with his character, fighting some hilichurls, you took him to Stormterror’s lair. Venti was used to going there a lot, but today it hurt. He didn’t know why, but there was something odd about looking at the place. You were just exploring the place as you reminisced the start of the game. You had controlled Venti to walk on this one specific bridge, and it had brought tears to his eyes. 

It was the very bridge where his friend’s life was taken. What made it worse was you had turned the camera so you could see Venti. You just admired him with these eyes that just made him break down. You couldn’t see him crying, but he couldn’t get the image of his friend out of his head. You reminded him so much of his bard friend.

Venti taking on the appearance of his bard friend didn’t help either. There was so much guilt in just looking at you. Your eyes had the same spark, your smile harbored the same aura. It made his heart ache so much. The more you just stared at him, the more he was choking back sobs. Venti couldn’t just look into your eyes anymore.

A mass amount of guilt of not only not being able to look at you, but taking on and living as his dead friend was too much. The code between his world and the game on your screen was trying to keep hold. Venti’s sadness was slowly showing, and you thought it was a glitch. You grew panicked when the usually smiling bard had a very broken glint in his eyes. You brought a finger to the screen as if trying to wipe a tear away. 

“There there, don’t cry!It’ll be okay.”

Your words reached his very sensitive heart. He could feel the warmth of your finger on his cheek as it soothed him. Venti had felt himself being moved outside of Storm Terror’s lair, feeling as though you had heard his mind. You just held a soft smile as you went somewhere else in Mondtstadt to explore. But deep down, Venti had thought you heard his cries, and brought him somewhere else to calm down.

DILUC

You were using Diluc to run around the Dawn Winery doing one of the stupid NPC’s key commission. Diluc couldn’t count on one hand how many times you’ve done this commission, but your kindness in doing it over and over had touched him. Once you had finished, the red head had expected you to rush away to do another commission. However, you didn’t, instead you had walked his character inside the Dawn Winery. 

It was an odd thing for you to do for one thing, but you bringing him to his desk was another. You smiled at him and, unknowing to him, his heart ached. You sat his character in the chair and just stared at him. He became uneasy as the silence brought his mind time to wonder. One specific memory that burned in his mind had resurfaced. 

His father’s death was something he did not expect to think about. But the more he looked at you, the more he thought of his father. He was reminded of how much he wanted to make his father proud. He looked down at his vision, a remembrance of his dad wanting one. He wasn’t ready for this, for you to see him this vulnerable. 

Unbeknownst to him, you could barely see how much he was breaking under your gaze. The code had made sure, or at least did its best, to show you only the resting face on Diluc. But something had caught your eye, as you looked deeper into Diluc’s eyes. You thought it was a trick on your eyes, but you thought you could see tears brimming in his eyes. His eye’s widened as he heard your soft voice speak, feeling your finger touch his cheek through the screen.

“Don’t be sad, I’m so proud of you!”

You saying he was proud of him was too much, as your touch was gentle on his cheek. His body was still, but you moved him out of the chair. He suddenly felt himself jolt up out of the chair. You brought him to a more scenic part of Mondstadt, as his nerves calmed down. Now, however, if he looked deep into your eyes, he could see his father staring at him with a proud smile.

ZHONGLI

Zhongli was great for exploring, and he was honored to help out the all mighty being with the exploration of his land. However, as you were looking for cor lapis, you had the idea for a great scenic moment. Zhongli wasn’t new to you just looking at him in the most scenic areas of Liyue, but today something felt wrong. The more you had him climb up Mt. Aocang, the more the memories flooded back to him. Once at the top, you had him slowly walk through the water to the table in the middle. 

He remembered this table well, and the carving on the seat of his dead loved one hurt him. The memories of the war and when he lost her stung so much. The worst part was when you turned the camera to see his face. He looked deep into your eyes and saw his past love Guizhong. You had the same loving gaze as she once did, and it hurt his heart so much. 

He adored you, sure, but something about you looking at him just did something to him. He couldn’t look away, being mesmerized by the sadness of the memories. He didn’t want to lose you like he did her, especially with how similar you felt to her. He started to tremble, being so overwhelmed with the thoughts and feelings of Guizhong. The code could only hold so much of Zhongli’s sadness, but you could see his character shake.

His hand was trembling as he sat on the chair that had his old retired name engraved on it. He didn’t think he could have a reaction like this to just a memory that was so long ago. Your gentle gaze didn’t help, especially when you noticed his character shake slightly. You thought it was a bit silly, but you brought your finger to the screen, as if trying to hold his hand. Your voice was something he desperately needed to here.

“It’s alright, I’m here now, so no need for tears.”

He was shocked as you were the one comforting him. Your touch was a much-needed thing as he started to ground himself. You moved him away from the stone table in Mt. Aocang. You had him jump off as he windglided down, loving the view. Still, the thought of your gaze reminding him of his one love was raw in his mind. 

XIAO

Xiao felt so happy that the all seeing being had chosen him to go and explore Liyue as you went to complete commissions and do domains. That was until you were wandering around Jeuyun Karst, getting closer to that one place he never had the courage to go. He didn’t understand why, but he trusted you guiding him. That is, until you stopped his character in front of Bosacius’ shrine. He didn’t know what to do, or even how to think about what you were doing.

All these thoughts and memories flooded back to him. This wasn’t a new thing, but it hurt a lot more than usual. There was so much regret in his heart, but it made it worse as you turned to see his face. This made it so much harder to suppress his feelings. Your eyes and your aura reminded him so much of all his Yaksha friends. 

He could see all of them in you, and he didn’t know how to react. He felt himself becoming more and more vulnerable by the second. The more he stayed in this place, and the more he stared at you, the worse it felt. His mind rushed with so many thoughts, nothing seemingly able to calm it down. He constantly switched his gaze from the shrine, to you, back to the shrine, and back to you.

Xiao hated feeling like this, especially in front of the great being that ruled all of Teyvat. His anger was more mixed with his sadness, but it caused him to look down. He didn’t want you to see the pain he had in his eyes. Especially since he was in front of Bosacius’ shrine. His anger kept being fuelled by the thoughts of his past Yaksha’s friends, until he heard your voice speak to him. 

“Just take some deep breaths. Everything will be okay.”

He felt guilty about you seeing him being so vulnerable. You gave him a soft smile as you slowly brought him away from Bosacius’ shrine in Jeuyun Karst after you left an item. Xiao’s mind was elsewhere as you went to do the rest of your commissions and other needed quests. You had the gaze of all 4 of his Yaksha friends, and it made it hard. But he was going to wait for you to close the game to have a breakdown.

EI

You were using Ei to fight some measly enemies for since character’s ascension. She was so happy to be helping you, and once she felt the puppet on your team, she switched her consciousness. It was all so exciting to her, helping the great deity of Teyvat that watched over them all. She would use this time to gain your favor for Inazuma, to give all the residents your blessing of happiness for all eternity. Her happiness would diminish, however, as soon as you had her stand under a very familiar tree to her. 

She didn’t understand why you were taking her here. Did you need something around here? If so, she knew many other places that had what you need, anywhere but here in her mind. Her mind couldn’t let go of the thought of her sister. Being here was something she wasn’t ready for, let alone you taking her here. 

When you turned the camera to face her, she just couldn’t take what she saw. You were morphing into her sister, your eyes were a reflection of Makoto. Her eyes widened as she couldn’t look away. There were so many things she wanted to say, she was convinced you were her sister. She tried to switch out of the puppet, but something was keeping her here.

She started to cry as she just stood under the tree. It was a serene scene as the leaves flew down, gently sticking to Ei’s hair. She wanted to scream out in pain, but afraid of what you would do. She was comfortable around you to show weakness, but not this intense form of grief. You caught on to her feelings and gently brought your finger to the screen, as if trying to caress her cheek.

“No no don't cry! I'm sorry, it'll be okay, I promise!”

Your promise made her tears want to flow harder. The feeling of your touch made her feel safe. She couldn't look at you, however, not when you gave her your gentle gaze. Not when she saw the sister she had lost in those eyes. Your touch was so similar to her sister too, and when you logged off for the night, the people of Inazuma had the most intense lightning storm.

KAZUHA

Kazuha felt so happy that you thought of him for mining ore and fighting the enemies that would wonder toward him. There was this smile on his face whenever he used his skill. The cavern you were now at though, was very close to a place he never had visited in a while. That was not after he returned something from that place. The closer you brought his character to that one place, the more anxious he felt. 

His eyes went straight around the corner to see the sword, that one sword he wasn’t ready to see again. You stopped his character right in front of his friend’s grave. He didn’t understand what you were doing, and yet he couldn’t find himself to care. All his mind was on was the death of his friend, and the vision that he had placed there. He could only look down at it, not knowing what to do or say.

He started to tremble subconsciously, he could only stare as his mind raced. The scene of his friend’s death played over and over again, he thought he had gotten over this guilt, but it felt fresh to him. He started to cry, and his body started to shake. You had noticed this change, however, as you turned the camera to look at Kazuha. You brought your hand to gently touch his cheek through the screen.

He got startled and looked at you, surprised with what he saw. Your aura, and your gaze, was so much like the friend he was just morning. Your touch on his cheek felt the same too, soft and kind. It made him feel worse, he didn’t even think someone could remind him of his friend. His eyes slowly widened when he heard your soft words.

“I know you’re hurting, but please don’t cry, it’ll be okay.”

Your words brought a whole wave of calm to him, something that also reminded him of his dead friend. Tears still rolled down his cheeks, but they were calmed now. You slowly walked his character away from his dead friend's grave, having him not look back. He felt guilty, sure, but he was grateful that you were such an understanding deity. You were just like his friend, and seeing you every time made him think of the one person he lost. 

HEZIOU

Heizou had this cocky smirk on his face as you traveled around the towns of Inazuma through his character. He loved when you chose him over anyone else to explore with. In his mind, he was kicking his feet and screaming into a pillow. That image in his head was then replaced when you stopped on an all too familiar part of the town. He tried to rationalize why you brought him here, what you could possibly need here. 

He stared blankly at this one particular spot that he remembered all too well. He gaze wouldn’t break from that one spot, not even your soft rambling to yourself could break his stare. Heizou was all too focused on one particular moment that replayed in his head over and over again. He then made the mistake to see you staring at him with your bright eyes. His whole body stiffened as he saw something in you. 

Your eyes were so much like the friend that he lost in that very spot. He couldn’t take it, he couldn’t take you looking at him. He fell to his knees, to which you couldn’t see him do because of the code, and broke down in tears. His mouth was agape in disbelief, not realizing how similar you looked to his dead friend. His entire mind was in denial of the entire situation.

He was shaking his head, trying to get rid of the hysteria of his friend’s dead body that was burned into his mind. The tears fell as he tried not to violently cry in the busy city. He thought of all the ‘what if’ scenarios, what he could have done to save his friend. Your gaze on him didn’t help his busy mind, he tried so hard to avoid looking at you. As you brought your hand to gently touch his face through the screen, he was pulled out of his thoughts.

“My dear, it’ll be okay, there isn’t a need for tears.”

He couldn’t stop the tears that flowed down his cheeks. They watered the street that he stood on in the town of Inazuma. So many bottled feelings from his friend’s death, now slowly flowing out after your words of comfort. You slowly walked him out of the area to a more scenic part, as the waves calmed his nerves. But now all he could see in you was the friend that he had found dead.

WANDERER

Wanderer may not have seemed like it, but he was super happy that you were using him to fly around and find missing chests around the lands. There was some anxiety within him when you entered Inazuma. He hadn’t been there, his homeland, in a while. He wasn’t ready to go back any time soon, but here you were taking him to Inazuma, and to the one place he hated. The one place where he was backstabbed, and lost his stable life that he once had. 

He couldn’t ever see himself coming back to this place, to the Tatarasuna Furnace. All the memories, the betrayal, and the abandonment came back to him. He didn’t know why you were doing this to him, you the all mighty creator, taking him to this one place he has forsaken. He couldn’t bring himself to think of his friend, he tried to ignore the flooding thoughts. Nothing made sense in his mind at this point, not understanding why he was here.

You turning the camera to see his face was another thing that deeply confused him. His eyes were looking around frantically, trying to find any reason why you were here. His gaze then settled on your face. Your soft smile was so much like his dead friend. He couldn’t take it, he wanted you to look away from him. Wanderer wanted to cry right then and there, but not wanting you to see him like this. 

The tears he tried to force away started to fall. His hands were shaking as he tried to wipe the tears away. He hated feeling this way, feeling these sad emotions. You noticed his shaking character and put your finger to the screen as he felt it on his hand. His eyes widened after your soft voice spoke up.

“Shhh I’m here now, everything will be okay.”

Wanderer didn’t know how to respond to your words. This was so new for him, to have someone he desperately cared for care for him. Especially when that person reminded him of his old friend. He felt grateful for your comfort, but felt guilty that you had to leave Inazuma to go back to Sumeru for his sake. It truly showed that your kindness was so similar with his friend that has long since past.

KAVEH

You were wandering around Sumeru City, trying to do the reputation quests. One had required you to go to into the library of the Akedemiya and you were using Kaveh to complete it. He felt so happy to be useful to you, helping you with these mundane quests. However, going into the library was off to him. Specifically, something about today hurt him a lot to be in that library.

What made him feel worse was when you had him sit at one of the tables. He was supposed to be on his day off from work, and helping you. This only gave him the memories of his family, his mother. You turning the camera to see his face didn’t help him feel any better. He tried to keep his emotion’s down and out of sight, just for your sake. 

Your gaze was too much for him. He saw his mother’s soft and loving eyes, and he couldn’t stand it. His eyes started to shake, as tears pricked his red, glossy eyes. His mind was enveloped by memories of his mother, before she left. Tears softly streamed down his cheek, dripping onto the table that he was sitting at.

All of a sudden, he felt your touch through the screen. It was warm and welcoming, something he hasn’t felt for a while. It made his heart ache ever more, not knowing what to do. He didn’t expect that anyone, not even the all seeing god, to give him this kind of comfort. Your loving and comforting gaze was just a reminder of the family that he didn’t have.

“No more tears, you’re doing so well, it’ll be alright.”

Your soft praise reached him, and he could only give you a soft, teary smile. You really were like family to him, and it just hurt so much, even when you gave him comfort. You decided to walk his character out of the Akedemiya, which he was very grateful for. You had brought him to a calmer part in Sumeru so he could calm down. The only thoughts in his head however were how much his family would have loved to meet you. 

Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!

[shanieveh]

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU !

— red flags of the genshin men and you as a flagpole ( using this iconic poem from the same name as reference)

i hate the way you're always right, i hate it when you lie

—kaeya, zhongli, alhaitham, kaveh, GOROU, diluc, pantalone, scaramouche, XIAO, tighnari

He was always a stubborn character, who insists you do this and that. Who was protective of you and wanted you always in his sight. And when you are injured or hurt he lets out an annoying 'tsk' as he previously warned you before not to do that. But even with the scolding he treats your wounds, he doesn't make you explain what went wrong. The fact that you're injured over it is what really matters.

But even with his constant need to protect you, he was the most selfless person you have ever met. He lies about being fine, and being okay just to make you happy. He wasn't. He clinged onto you like that was his soul's favorite meal. You changed his life, away from the bad and ugly of his past. You didn't need to know about it, as he presents himself as unflawed and perfect, just to keep you.

i hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry

—ayato, KAEYA, venti, xingqiu, KAVEH, bennett, THOMA, cyno, childe, arataki itto, chongyun, heizou

He was the life of the party, a ray of sunshine that decided to go in your life. But he had this side of him, the side that even questions why you were here. Sometimes you feel like a second option, sometimes you feel unheard. Yeah it was unintentional, but does that fact make it even worse?

In times you were down he was always there cheering you up, but when it was him making you feel this way it tend to hurt not just the heart, but the mind. Maybe you should communicate this to him? No, he was too busy, he was too important for some petty complaint you have. You can just cry yourself to sleep, and maybe learn not to expect that the half empty bed will be full in the morning.

i hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call

—kazuha, AYATO, dainsleif, kaveh, albedo, xiao, ZHONGLI, diluc, TIGHNARI, heizou,

He wasn't there when you needed him. And as you carry the burden of being both lonely and unloved, you start to question your relationship. But as you remember the love, the passion you both share, this one incident. It should forever be buried. But even as you both reconcile and all of it in the past. You still can't help the feeling of being that unwanted, not needed. It haunts your core.

What if he treated you that way again? He didn't even bother to call asking your condition, you were completely helpless. That after all the years and months of you being dependent on him, you were back to the starting point, the time where you had no one but yourself. But perhaps he changed? Maybe he'll stop wandering around and stay with you. This is the timeline where he chooses you.

but mostly i hate the way i don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

—scaramouche, pantalone, BAIZHU, diluc, ALHAITHAM, xiao, dainsleif, aether, childe

He was a foe, an enemy. But the way he cares, the way he scarcely smiles and when he did it gives you butterflies. You can't hate him, no matter how hard you try. Even when you argue, even with your objective of defeating him, you can never hate a man who loves you that much. He was an addiction, and you were the addict that thought you can just stop when you wanted to. You couldn't.

He was so easily hated. From the way he stares, the way he reads you mind. But there was something about him you can't pin point. He has so much qualities that are wrong and made you hate his qualities, but never the person, never him.

[https-furina]

— in another lifetime ! ★ | edition: archons, version 1.0

ft. venti, zhongli & ei x fem!reader

content. heavy angst, mentions of alcohol, death, blood, details of injuries, illness. refers to their story lore. spoilers for inazuma’s archon quest.

✉️ mail received! sender: venti

you had every ounce of reason to believe that the boisterous bard was in fact not a mortal. he knew mondstadt like the back of his hand - i mean seriously, do all bards recite the crevices of a cliff face the way that he does? - and even drunk he could blabber for hours on mondstadt’s history, occasionally mentioning things that were not public knowledge.

therefore you knew you’d be swallowing yourself into a mess when you fell head over heels for that playful giggle, the lingering taste of wine on his lips between kisses and how he always seemed to reassure you so perfectly - regardless of whether you worshipped the archon of anemo or not (he doesn’t mind anyways!)

you remember the day that he finally gave up his secret well. it was carved into your memory the same way venti had every inch of his country burned into his mind, the rocks, the lakes, the trees he rustled with familiar, warm breezes as you walk under them. you’d been ill for months, seeking help from a multitude of doctors to try pinpoint exactly what was wrong - it turns out you didn’t have long left to live. in a bout of emotion, venti exposed his true identity to you underneath windrise, not far from a statue of his own person.

one attachment added!

a gasp falls from your lips, another coughing fit shaking your body as venti perches himself down beside you on the picnic blanket, his hand rubbing your back warmly. you flash him an appreciative smile, to which your boyfriend returns as he presses a kiss to your head. weakly, you raise a tissue to your mouth as you continue to cough, as if something is stuck in your throat.

it’s becoming harder to breathe and when that lump in your throat finally hacks up, the white tissue in your hand stains a bright red. venti’s eyes notice it before you do, the hairs on the back of his neck standing in a panic as his breath hitches - no, you couldn’t possibly be leaving him this soon?

it was as if celestia was mocking him for falling in love with a human in the first place. a mortal with an archon? a concept so amusing in the eyes of those who live forever. it was bad enough falling for you knowing you too would leave him one day but it was even more of a stab to his chest when you were ill with mere months left.

“windblume?” venti whispers, concerned when you don’t respond straight away. your breaths are staggered, weak and wheezing somewhat. it feels like your lungs are filling with liquid, drowning out your vital organs as you become dizzy. your vision is darkening, static around the edges as you look over at your boyfriend.

he’s crying; rivers of precious, glittering tears are dancing down pale cheeks as he stares at you in fear. there’s no reassuring him now. you know that venti has seen his fair share of death, you couldn’t lie to him in such a scenario.

“in… another lifetime, okay?” your voice cracks, you’re running out of oxygen when your chest tightens and constricts like there’s a heavy weight pressing on you, “i-i love you.”

“wait- no!” venti cries out, catching you as your body slumps forward, your eyes unblinking. he squeezes you close, burying his face into your shoulder when he can’t hear your struggled gasps for breath anymore, “i love you too…”

✉️ mail received! sender: zhongli

he figured he’d done a good job of hiding his status as an archon, especially when he tries to emphasise that he is retired - xiao will always send him a straight, deadpanned look in response to this that makes you giggle. you’d seen through it all, namely because you’d been familiar with xiao prior to meeting zhongli. you knew the last remaining yaksha well, on friendly terms.

you knew xiao wouldn’t just respond to anyone the way that he does zhongli. you’d seen first hand how the adeptus responds at the voice of the taller man - obedient and loyal. not to mention, you’d heard plenty of times when xiao stumbles on his words, referring to zhongli by his archon name before his cheeks flush and he stutters out his human name instead.

zhongli thought the idea of love mediocre. it never seemed to impress him - you suspected that there had been a past lover involved but neither xiao nor zhongli confirmed or denied your suspicions. you also knew however that zhongli had every right not to return your feelings. what would an archon ever want with a human anyways?

but the benevolent turned archon cracked under your smile and contagious energy, admitting that he was an archon the same night he had said his true feelings out loud into the night of guyun stone forest - where he had taken you to delve into liyue’s history. it was a personal favourite activity to do with you, your eyes glittering whenever he’d speak of events long ago.

sadly, zhongli knows that he had delved too deep into too many scenarios for his own good, trusting the fatui within liyue at what cost?

one attachment added!

guyun stone forest was as peaceful as ever, the waves rolling up the sand beaches in melodies you wished you could paint on a canvas. zhongli knew you particularly loved this spot - he’d offered to take you to jueyun karst this evening but you was hellbent on coming back to guyun stone forest, a harsh reminder of the archon war to the tall male.

yet as peaceful as it was, a solace that the two of you would cherish any other day, there was the struggled gasps of your breath that broke the silence, meshing with the crash of waves and the whip of the wind on liyue’s coastline.

golden eyes stare at you, panicked and dilated as he takes in the way your blood is staining your attire, painting it red in the shade of jueyun chilis - would he ever look at the specialities of his own country the same again? let alone the location that he held the most memories at, especially with you, the only one he’d truly let close again?

“zhongli?” you whisper, watching the way he’s clutching his polearm with such vigor, brandishing it in anger after having fought off your attackers. if he wasn’t wearing his gloves, you’d see the way his knuckles are turning white.

“how are you feeling? does it hurt?” his polearm clatters to the stony pebbles of the beach you stood on, the very pebbles that are splattered in blood - not just yours but of numerous fatui lackeys zhongli had put to rest in your defence. he rushes to your side, gloved hands cupping your face as he makes you look up at him.

“it burns, li,” you wince, breathing is starting to hurt. it’s starting to take its toll paired with the blood loss zhongli knows he can’t stop, “i’ll be waiting for you in our next lifetime.”

zhongli grimaces at your words, not willing to grasp the concept of you dying yet - no, he possibly couldn’t. he was prepared for much longer time with you, he couldn’t have it cut so short. but he watches the way the sparkle is dying from your eyes, chapped lips parted as shallow breaths leave them.

“perhaps, then we will get this whole thing right, my love,” he reassures, a hand falling down to your waist when your knees buckle weakly under you, protecting your fragile body from the stones below, “i love you, y/n, always.”

✉️ mail received! sender: ei

following the traveler’s escapades in inazuma, ei wandered inazuma city many days to bask in the sunlight she hadn’t seen in decades. she’d hang around a particular café, one where you worked as a waitress delivering cups of hot matcha to tables of smiling elderly couples, dying old together until their last days. ei would sink deeper into thought whenever she saw you, some days even managing to run into you when you wasn’t working - it truly was accidental!

you would be a fool to not recognise her as inazuma’s archon, to which you do. she knows this when you respond to her in polite, formal gestures and yet you never fear her. you never cower in her presence or shake and shiver. it’s a peace she had yet to experience in her time out of the plane of euthymia.

when she announces her feelings to you, under the dazzling, colourful displays of naganohara fireworks in a quiet spot of tenshukaku’s gardens, she makes it clear that you will leave this realm of existence before her - without her. you do not fear this idea either, the same way you do not fear her. ei finds it courageous that you do not fear death as others around her do.

you do fear her capabilities as an archon, the destruction she can cause in mere seconds and the enemies she makes in the blink of an eye but ei never meant for it to turn out this way, they were her enemies to deal with, not yours.

one attachment added!

“ei…?” her name falls from your lips within seconds of your attack, a red river trickling from the corner of your mouth as ei lowers you to the grass below, kneeling at your side as she holds you close in her arms.

“shh, my dear, it is okay.” ei coos, raising a shaking hand to brush her thumb against your cheek, collecting tears yet to fall from your eyes although she can see them sparkling in rhe moonlight. thunder roars over head, lightning flashing around you in the midst of ei’s anger and worry.

it is the first time she has seen you so fearful with eyes wide as you choke on your own blood, coughing it up. it splashes onto her pale skin but she does not react, watching you helplessly as her grip on you tightens.

“this is it, isn’t it?” you ask with a raspy voice, a single tear rolling down your cheek that ei wasn’t quick enough to wipe away in time. ei flashes a sad smile down at you, not wanting to say the words you crave to hear.

“you belong with me - you know that, yes?” she suddenly states, her voice firm but there’s a slight waver in her tone, “maybe in another world or lifetime but i know you belong with me.”

you choke on a sob at her words, succumbing to your injuries as they burn and sting, red drops of blood dripping to the ground below and staining blades of grass. ei presses her lips to your head in a silent reassurance, knowing that nothing she could say would bring you calm now. nothing would bring you the divinity you feel when the two of you would sit under a shared parasol in tenshukaku’s gardens or wandered in the shallow waters of inazuma’s coastlines barefooted.

ei keeps her lips pressed to your clammy skin until your sobs and cries of how painful it is subdue, leaving her with your lifeless body in her arms. only then does the woman cry, screaming out into the night sky in a battle with the thunder - who truly felt more anger in that moment? she wails, wondering if she’ll ever live without the ones she loves getting taken from her so brutally.

© https-furina 2023.

[saturnslandfill]

I should give this blog a little more attention or something (it's starting to gather dust).

Anyway, Venti in an argument headcanons since I can't sleep :P.

- Avoids arguments as much as possible. Tries to humor the situation (he doesn't downplay the situation, much less [the traveler's] feelings. He takes it seriously, he just doesn't like the tension).

- Even though he hates it, if he sees that the situation requires it, he will remain serious and leave the jokes aside.

- This boy hates yelling, a lot, from both sides. If he's already usually calm (someone who expresses emotions in a soft way), when it comes to an argument (when he's feeling really upset), he tends to shut himself down completely or (when he's feeling mad) jump over the line of "shut up" to "shout" very quickly.

If it's the other person who gets angry:

- Laughs nervously and tries to calm [the traveler] down.

- He stands completely still. He can barely maintain eye contact.

- He tends to run his thumb along the palm of his hand a lot, sometimes burning himself. He needs to do something with his hands to keep them still.

- His voice will become lower in tone and the sentences will become shorter as the discussion gets more heated.

- Broken voice when trying to speak. He will cough/swallow hard from time to time due to the "lump" in his throat.

- He will end up nodding/shaking his head. "Mhm" and "m-hm" for "yes" and "no" as he does not feel the strength to say words.

- He will force himself to speak anyway because the last thing he wants is for [the traveler] to feel ignored.

- He hates being told "you hear me!?/are you even listening to me?!" when he doesn't answer "appropriately", another reason he forces himself to speak.

- Thinks a lot before saying the slightest word.

- He will leave the room as soon as he starts being yelled at. He doesn't like the feeling, it makes him really anxious.

- He cries, a lot. He still doesn't like making any noises, so you can't bearly hear him when he cries.

- When [the traveler] has calmed down and Venti is ready to continue the discussion, he will write instead of talk. Sometimes he reads what he writes after some time has passed.

- If he knows he has done something wrong, he will be the first to approach and apologize. Sometimes he will need help from an explanation to know what is wrong and what needs to change.

- So many apologies. The phrase "I'm sorry" loses it's meaning inside his head. -› "I don't know what to say, 'I'm sorry' feels like the only right thing to say right now, sorry..."

If he is the one who gets angry:

- He still doesn't like shouting. He'll try to speak as quietly as possible, but if the feeling is too intense, the only way he'll talk is if he shouts.

- Short phrases and sentences or literally a damn speech, there's no middle ground.

- Gesticulation. He may be able to knock something over if it is within his range of motion when moving his arms and hands.

- When he's not gesturing, he tends to dig his nails into the palms of his hands when clenching his fists.

- Lots of eye contact.

- He doesn't think much before speaking. He ends up regretting many things when he recaps the conversation when he's alone.

- Either he swears a lot or no bad words come out of his mouth, no middle ground here either.

- Some words in another language often slip out when he shouts.

- "Get out of my sight." when he sees that [the traveler] doesn't makes sense and he's tired of trying.

- He will probably cry out of anger.

- Sighs, many in fact. He pinches the bridge of his nose while closing his eyes very hard repeatedly too.

- He will never be the one to speak first to solve the problem. A bit childish, and he knows it, but if he hasn't done anything wrong, why should he be the one to move heaven and earth to solve it?

- He won't stop being angry until he receives a sincere apology. After said apology, he will return to being the same smiling boy as always.

I don't know what got into me to do this (I've been having lots of arguments for almost a month, save me).

[freminetistic]

Au where Lyney and Lynette go on a mission and never return, after weeks of overthinking and sleeping alone in their room in their clothes a fatui officer tells Freminet they had been killed. Freminet only gets worse but before he can kill himself Istaroth visits him and they make a deal, he can rewind time to how he sees fit

He gets trapped in a timeloop trying to save his siblings. Over time he loses his mind, he gets so close to saving them but never can. He has screamed at them that they were going to die and poured his heart out explaining everything that has happened even if it feels sour in his throat and even still he had to try again.

Lyney and Lynette are doomed to die by 23, and by some dumb luck in a timeline they make it past that, but they end up dying anyways and Freminet drives himself mad trying to recreate it. He follows exactly what he did in that timeline, he isolates them, anything.

Venti has heard of him of course, how could he not? His mother took in another child. At first he doesn't know what Freminet is doing. He only heard about Freminet through the whispers of the wind, they meet up and talk sometimes, between timelines. Eventually he learns of what Freminet is trying to do and attempts to stop him, but Freminet is far too stubborn. He isolates himself and tries over and over and over because maybe this time he'll save them.

Everytime their 23rd birthday approaches he panics, how will they die this time? Will they make it past only to suffer the same fate to mock him? It feels like that at this point. Celestia is mocking him.

Istaroth gave Freminet a new name. When he made the deal he lost what made him human and instead became something new, something much much worse.

He analyses their deaths to figure out what he did wrong, watching every detail. Ignoring the bile that clings to his throat.

He doesn't stop, he can't stop because if he loses them doesn't he lose himself? (He lost himself when they first died. He hasn't been the same since.) In some timelines he just gives up, maybe if he doesn't do anything but stay in his room rotting away they'll get concerned and be too busy taking care of him to leave. Even that doesn't work, nothing ever works he has to try again. The thing is he doesn't have to reset and try again, hes in a self imposed timeloop, he could stop at any time but he doesn't on the off chance that he can save them. What if he can save them? if be stops now he will never know and wouldn't get the chance to.

Their deaths aren't always the same, they've died in a thousand different ways. At first it made Freminet sick, but at some point he grew numb to it. (Not really, that's how he makes it seem. Everytime he wants to scream, cry, puke, and destroy everything around him.) He knew he needed to get used to it if he was going to save them. Hes forced himself to push every unhelpful emotion down knowing how many failed attempts there were. Emotions will only get in the way and lead to them dying again, if he can't think then he can't think about the fact hes watched the only people be cares about die hundreds— maybe even thousands of times. If he's numb no one will suspect him and ignore his slip ups, Freminet a timetraveler? How silly.

Freminet randomly says things he shouldn't know or things no one has told him because at some point the timelines start to blend together and he mixes what he should and shouldn't know up.

Sometimes Lyney and Lynette notice somethings different, during practices the tricks that would make him have a hint of a smile don't work, he doesn't care for his favorite foods, sure he was cold and borderline pessimistic before but now he just seems hollow and tense, always on fight or flight. (More like fight or reset, he refuses to run and only have himself to blame for their deaths.) He doesn't care about his least favorite food either, they've seen him drink coffee multiple times despite the fact it used to make him panic. It's the only thing that keeps him up by now, he's tired and doesn't know how to fix it or remembers why. (He doesn't sleep, why sleep when that's another chance for them to die? He could be working to save them instead.) When they cuddle he seems distant like he's thinking about something, he tries to enjoy those moments but how can be knowing they'll die again? He can hold them for however long he wants and enjoy their presence when he breaks the cycle.

After the thousand or so tries Freminet started to feel a sort of disdain towards Lyney and Lynette, they were why he was doing this in the first place. The timelines start to mesh together in his mind, he can't really remember why he started this in the first place. He doesn't have the time to stop though, he'll remember when they're safe.

Did he ever truly love them or was he always just obsessed like he is now? He doesn't know, he can't tell. All he knows is it still hurts when he wakes up in the middle of the night remembering their first death, he wasn't there but he can see it so vividly.

He misses who he used to be, maybe if he didn't make this agreement things would have turned out different, being dead would be better than this, atleast then he would get to be with Lyney and Lynette. He didn't have to make the deal, he didn't actually give up anything in it, not his soul, not his life, even if it feels like it. Istaroth knew what would happen and that was enough of a payment.

Eventually the space between timelines' wall is filled with broken clocks, thousands of him. The first one still sitting on his table. At one point he spent years doing nothing but staring at it wondering what it could have been like. The area between timelines is essentially a white void with one wall full of clocks, everytime he fails one breaks. It has a tea table in the middle with two chairs one for him and the other for any visitors. (Mostly Venti, Istaroth rarely visits if ever anymore.)

Everytime he resets he thinks “maybe this time, maybe this time I'll save them.” and he never does. He gets so so so so close but in the end he always fails. The timeloop ends when he goes back one last time and kills himself, and in that timeline his siblings live. They were destined to never be together no matter how hard he tries, they were doomed from the start and nothing he can do can stop it.

[daystud]

Wendy in GGZ was a girl raised as a labrat to become a Herrscher and destroy humanity. However she is still a very playful person who does anything by her will and capricious urges, and even though she never truly realizes her hatred for humans was indoctrinated, her only moments of freedom and discovery by little things with Totori (the most important person to her who really cared about her wellbeing) are the most precious until her very last moments. Wendy has a tragic ending because she was so close to being redeemed multiple times and yet she went away back to zero. but at least she died in Totori's arms and confessed her last words to her.

Wendy is also a victim of unlucky circumstances and not being loved enough to be saved in HI3rd. She really thought she could trust Bronya to give her life so they could be together, and Bronya would have wanted it too, but Wendy's writing reduced her as a plot device.

In ver 1.8 a set of stigmata based on the Seven Deadly Sins went unrealeased, and Wendy was featured. And guess which sin they chose her out of all?

Envy.

They knew what they were doing. Wendy will forever curse everyone including the ones she loved because she was betrayed without knowing and will never be able to live a normal life. She's forever an experiment.

Her JP seiyuu in HI3rd is also the same voice of Collei, another victim of who saw her only as a tool to inflict of whatever they wanted for their own ends. At least Collei has a long, consistent, finished arc from the webtoon to Sumeru and the last events featuring her. (that one with Sucrose was so gooooood) It's so satisfiying seeing her grow as a better person despite she also did terrible mistakes. I'm definitely not crying internally cause Wendy never got that treatment while still being fascinated by characters who get done dirty by the metanarrative.

Should I also mention I fear for Venti the worst for its implications of being both as a standalone character and as Genshin's Wendy, with all his connections to his people, Istaroth, Celestia and the Tsaritsa? When will HoYo free him from the basement???? He's being hinting anything since the fucking betas!!!!!

[yestrday]

Idk if it’s just because I’m TREMENDOUSLY down bad for the malewives, but whenever I read a segment about them getting jealous I kinda just want to be really gentle, reassuring, and over all sweet to them (picture just cupping their face and giving them cute little pecks while you calm them down <333)

The boys don’t like that some other girls perfume is on me and are wondering why it was on there in the first place? I completely understand their concerns. One of my friends had gone to me crying for advice on a fight she had with her girlfriend, and I just had to soothe her + give her some relationship advice and gush to her about my lovely husband afterwards!

They are worried I’m becoming more distant due to my work? The boys think that I’m not being affectionate enough? I can’t believe I’ve done such a horrible thing without noticing! I’ll call in a sick day at once and plan a cozy date just for two of us to relax and cuddle and I’ll talk to them about ways I could show them even more affection and ask them what they prefer!

My dearest husband thinks I’m working too long and that he thinks I’m forgetting about him for someone at work? I’m horrified I didn’t see how he felt sooner! I’ll immediately talk about slightly cutting back my long hours, and I’ll even get up early before work to leave him little sticky notes that confess my love for him! I’ll text him on my short breaks and I’ll call on my lunch break too!

I’m just such a massive simp I can’t help but want to be “gentle and caringly earnest spouse” who would 100% gush about them to all my friend and co-workers <33 (This is just a brain rot / rant! Def not a request lol)

ah <3<;3 they are your husband after all! your ever devoted, ever loving, ever faithful husband! it's common sense that you have to treat them with the same praise and fervor that they do to you!

venti's pouting about how you're working overtime? he's laying back dramatically on the couch, whining with practiced dramatic effect about how cruel you are for leaving your poor hubby with no one to share these cold nights. you watch him with crossed arms and an amused smile, knowing exactly what game he's playing at. yet you still come to him and hug him from behind, peppering his squishy cheeks with kisses and soft apologies. venti giggles at you, and grins widely when your touches go lower.

thoma doesn't look right these days, with how you keep drinking out with your clients. you always go home buzzed and reeking of other people, and although he tries to hide it, your dining utensils have been slightly bent, haven't they? when he comes home from a grocery trip, you surprise him with dinner, dressed in his frilly apron. the dullness in his eyes washes away, and with a pleasant gasp he rushes into your arms and start sniffling about how much he misses you.

the servants have been telling you that xingqiu's been in a snappy mood ever since you left for your business trip. when you open the door to his study, you can see the briefest surprise flit across his face before he adopts a mask of indifference. ah, so he's going to ignore you, huh? well, no matter. you sidle up to him and say your apologies, whispering about how you've missed him terribly so. that you couldn't eat properly knowing you left your dear husband alone. he's still refusing to acknowledge you, huffing behind his book, but you can see his eyes crinkle into a smile.

anyway! what's the point of marriage if you two won't devote yourselves to each other? nothing else matters, does it? why should work stop you from showering your sweet husband from the love that he so deserves?

[glassrowboat]

Our Adventure. Venti.

Summary: A child of Mondstadt has recently been gifted a vision. A gift from the gods. Yet all she views it as is a decorative charm that invokes ire and fear in her very own heart, a babble she can't even control. The solution? The best bard in Teyvat, obviously!

Word count: 2400+

Authors note: Basically, I've been toiling away in my head what would happen if a vision user was struggling to use their newfound gift and I wrote this :)

The wind had a habit of carrying many things along it's ever flowing breeze, from leaves to the sweetest of songs, from love confessions to the dandelion seeds that truly marked Mondstadt as a land full of endless wishes and freedom. Tonight, however, there was a cry, a wail that even a banshee herself would be incapable of making as it rang in the young bard's ears. This was how the archon had come to know so many secrets that lay in the land he called home, and this was how he ended up below a closed window with pebbles in his hand.

A small thud could be heard on the sill, bouncing off the wood as Venti tried his best to not get hit with the smooth stone hurtling back down to the ground. When no answer came from that still weeping woman another pebble was tossed.

What plagued her was already known by many, far too many if anything. Gossip spread fast in these stone walls. Drunkards would talk about how they came across a random patch of grass just outside the city's gates dried out beyond compression. The local carpenter would talk about how he had to chop down a tree that suddenly became too unstable to be allowed to stand any longer, only to find out behind the untouched bark the inside was lacking any moisture that was so characteristic of fresh wood. The most notable of all however was the knights who said they had to escort a young woman home, too weak to walk as she knelt down right inside a ring of brown blades too stiff to wave in the wind like the fields of green typically would.

(Y/n), a child of Mondstadt recently gifted with a hydro vision.

The very same person who was on the other side of that window was struck with knock after knock as she glared at it with pure contempt, nose still running even as she picked up a random shoe. A heel with its pointed end should do some decent damage, right? So she held it tightly in her grasp, that is until the window randomly opened as if Peter Pan himself was trying to sneak into her darkened room. No candle lit to truly brighten up the scene of a red shoe hitting a green figure square in the face.

“No, no, that's some vampire shit I ain't about. Go find some other woman to prey on I- I ate garlic bread for dinner ya know?” Even with your vision blurred by tears you quickly grabbed the other shoe, getting ready to throw this one too.

Vampires can't enter without permission, right?

Well nevermind to that idea as the green figure landed on the floor having successfully passed through what was supposed to be a barrier of protection. All the while he was beaming at you with a smile that would make anyone want to punch him, even with his hands up in the air.

“That's not allowed….”

“Hello to you too.” Ah, you recognize that voice. The little pest that would run around the cobblestone streets all the while humming a tune that would be running on replay in anyone's head for hours after. “Can you put the other shoe down? My face already hurts from the first one.”

“I think you deserved it, you oversized fly.” Letting go of the shoe you let it fall to the ground as you got back up from what was an admittedly cowering position on the floor.

“Come now, what happened to you calling me a grand poet the likes no one has seen in this modern age? Am I not the next-” and you ended up throwing the shoe at him in the end- “Hey!”

You just shrugged, hands raising in the air in what could only be described as a whatcha gonna do about it motion.

Venti looked down at the shoe for a moment as it fell to the ground before kicking it back over to you, giving you free ammunition. “You could throw that shoe at me again or you- I was joking about the shoe! Please, spare me.”

“Flies usually get swatted.”

“Okay….different approach then.” Sighing to himself Venti walked over to, hand ruffling with something in his pockets before pulling out a handkerchief. The white square of cloth held out to you as it swayed in the wind coming from that still open window. “A fair maiden such as yourself shouldn't be crying, so I offer you this: let the best bard in Teyvat whisk you away on an adventure for the ages. We can make our grand escape right away!”

That's a great way to have missing person posters plastered up right next to the ones of the travelers sibling, and how well have those worked so far? Therefore your answer was an obvious “fuck that.”

“Please, with a cherry on top? And sprinkles too.”

Grabbing the handkerchief, and half tempted to throw it right back at him, you brushed it against your eyes. The fabric is surprisingly soft for something a bard who can barely afford a drink would be carrying, yet the lack of an abrasive texture appreciated nonetheless. “Why are you even here?”

“Well,” with a giggle Venti held his hand up, like he was in a play about to recite a sonnet in the middle of a stage with hundreds of eyes on him and him alone. If it was any other situation it could be an amusing sight, but he's still trespassing. “Let's say the wind guided me to you.”

It was hard to pinpoint why it felt so off-putting the way he said that, wistful in a way, but you didn't really get the chance to think on it more as Venti opened his mouth again. “What bard can stand hearing a fair maiden cry and not try and cheer her up with a song or two? Certainly not this one.”

“The wind?”

“Yup. Or maybe even Barbatos himself.”

“Have you ever gone to a doctor to see if you're clinically insane? Or have you just been hanging around Barbara and her musings of the church doctrine too much?”

With that Venti leaned over, a hand held up right next to his mouth so he could whisper, “the results came out inconclusive.”

Wait. What?

“Now come on! We have to get going before the sun fully sets and we have no light to help us see.” After all, who would want to be running around tripping over the loose cobblestones in the streets? “Walking through the dark is only romantic on beaches and sneaking around back alley ways to meet your lover, you know.”

So, he is insane.

Yet here you are taking out the hand he was holding out to you, letting that bard whisk you away on this promised adventure as he drags you out the window. (Trying your best to pretend you didn't notice him grabbing the vision you had tossed on the bed as he did). So while you didn't trip over the loose stones, at least not this time, you did fumble over roots as Venti pulled you under windrise. Leaves occasionally fall down from the tall tree, flowing back and forth as the wind catches the thin object before it finally settles down amongst the grass you two were trampling over as he pulled you to sit down.

Your knees hitting the dirt right before the stream winding along the plains to the coast, water softly rushing past you both as the sound hits your ears almost like a melody. Though a certain drunkard would be aghast to hear you say you prefer this over the strumming of his lyre he'd be plucking at any other time, even if it was just as a joke. Though admittedly it was odd not to see the ducks wading around, having gotten so used to seeing them so often from past visits trying to steal your lunch when you weren't looking.

Pesky little things they were, just like this brat.

“So, what's with the field trip?”

“I can't just pull you along for a midnight trip to my favorite spot?” The answer was clearly an obvious no. Not without a reason of course. “I give, I give, just don't have to glare at me like that. I've heard around town that you had a little incident.”

Oh great, so the rumor mill was doing its thing. What a goody. Just the thought of that scene again, of the hydro vision being cradled between your hands as the grass beneath you withered away to the point a patch of dead, dried out flora has your nose wrinkling. Not wanting to go over the image that played in your head like a highlight reel. A movie dedicated to your own inability.

“Is this the part you impart on me some sage advice?”

“I can.” With the wave of his hand, or more like a flutter of the earth's breath itself as a breeze swayed past you both, catching his braids and making them dance, Venti summoned his lyre. A certain blue glow reflecting off the wood from the gem sitting between you both. “Or we can sit here while I play a tune. It's up to you, (y/n).”

“I'd pick the latter in an instant.”

“But?”

“But it won't get me anywhere.”

Somehow even just the gold encased vision (or maybe the casing was a part of the vision, you didn't really know much about how that all worked) had a certain aura about it that felt daunting. Just an item. Just something as useless as an accessory if it wasn't being used by its owner. It was like instinct to avoid it, just like when you were a child and you had to learn the hard way not to touch that pan that had just been pulled off the still burning hot stove. For the two instances to be so comparable was like a funny, passing thought, but to you it certainly wasn't.

How can one laugh at their own misery without doing so just to mask their pain?

“Venti, what was it like when you first got your vision?” It felt like a natural question to ask, but he didn't really give you much of a real response to that besides strumming that lyre. A tune playing between you that you had heard at the tavern a good handful of times before.

“Let's just say I have always been a natural.”

“So you're useless to me.”

“Sounds like it, doesn't it?” Reaching over Venti picked up a windwheel aster only a little bit away, close enough he didn't have to shift at all to simply pluck it from the ground. “Though I wouldn't call the company of a friend useless.”

You couldn't help but huff at his statement, annoyed by the fact he had a point. “Fine. Sorry.”

He nodded in turn, not bothering to say anything about your mood today. Not when you both knew why you suddenly turned into such a grouch. “I can still explain how it feels for me.”

“As long as you promise not to say something cheesy like I become the wind itself.” That would surely make anyone in your position a little peeved. A prodigy sitting before you who has the ability to so naturally have control of something that threatens to turn on you. The claws of a wild animal that one can never say for sure will come to you for help or to attack.

“I can try!” Holding the flower out, those same orange petals that had become second place in the walls of Mondstadt began to spin. Turning round and round as you were left to stare at the little demonstration. “Like freedom itself has graced me. I can feel wind under my fingertips just as easily as I do strings or this flower for an example.”

“(Y/n), you may not currently know exactly what melody you are trying to share with the world yet, and that's fine! We all have to start somewhere.” Giggles came out between his words, easing the tension you couldn't help but feel at being so blatantly called out. “But just like always, a tune will still play, or in this case the sound of rushing water will be the music you grace me with. Either way, I can't wait to see what you can come up with.”

“My, how sweet, I almost want to wretch.”

“Hey, I was being serious for once!”

That's why this entire interaction feels so wrong.

Still, you glanced back down at the blue gem, watching how it glows so the grass it lays on is tinted with its color. Would it do the same to your garments once you get brave enough to hang it from your clothes like you've seen Amber doing? It was still a burner after all, but even a burner will cool. It just takes time.

“I wasn't expecting to see this side of you today.”

“Like what you see, my lady? Next, all we have to do is throw you in the water and see what happens.”

“I swear to fucking god-” No, you are not down for being thrown around by his wind currents. Just having to ride down one as you left your apartment to get here was enough for one day.

“Easy! Easy! We won't go back to throwing shoes at me, right?” He asked, hands in the air. Already surrendering just in case. The flower hanging in the air between you both. His doing, obviously.

“You're infuriating sometimes.” With a huff you snatched the flower from the air, pulling it close so you could look at it properly. It still had life left in it, still had water coursing through that green stem.

Your eyes were so focused on the petals you didn't even notice the smile Venti was giving you, soft in nature as he watched you stare down at the gift with a pout. You didn't need to know that he was just happy to see you free from tears again, to no longer have you be locked up in your own room from fear of something new. As for Venti? He didn't need to know you couldn't help but think maybe Barbatos did send him to you.

No, not all.

So just like any silent night at windrise, or as silent as can be with you two mouthing off at each other, the leaves rustled as branches swayed back and forth, and a tune, for the wind had a habit of carrying the sweetest of songs.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for muting and deafening myself during a DnD session?

I play DnD with some gaming friends over Discord. It's the first time playing for many of us (including me) and our DM's first time being a DM.

Our last session wasn't great for me. The DM started to progress my character's story in a direction I didn't want for her. She also failed a check and it resolved in a way I wasn't too happy with. But this is part of the game. I know this and figured I would adapt to it but that doesn't automatically make the feelings of frustration disappear.

Eventually we get to our encounter of the night and I am unable to offer ANY input as I am constantly getting talked over. Anything I did manage to say was immediately sidelined by other players. Another player jokingly asked what my character was doing in all this and I snapped that I had been trying to but no one is letting me talk. This same issue happened last session as well and I brought it up then.

Anyways, this continued and I ended up muting and deafening myself as I had a bit of an angry/frustrated cry. Nobody said anything when I undeafened but the DM did try to specifically ask what my character wanted to do but at that point what I was already zoned out and probably not very fun to play with since I just wanted the session to be over. I think the vibe was different when I returned but idk if it really was or if I was just being sensitive.

Nobody has reached out and said anything to me but I wonder if the way I responded came off as me having main character syndrome.

I'm going keep it a buck here, I rewrote this several times because it constantly felt too venty but if people want the whole info and I recognize my post I can add the whole write up thing.

What are these acronyms?

[turtlecleric]

Venty thing set in the bayverse, Raph is mentioned but no turtles show up

CWs: Implied depression and suicidal ideation, hurt no comfort

Hm.

-

Maybe it's because you haven't been sleeping much lately. Actually, it could be that you haven't been doing a very good job of taking your medicine consistently. Yeah, maybe- but you've only missed a few doses. Work is stressful, sure, but that's nothing new.

Whatever the case, it's 5:00 in the afternoon, and you've yet to drag yourself out of bed. Not because you've actually been resting, no, but there's just... something weighing you down. Something holding you here that you can't name or explain very well.

You consider reaching out to one of the guys. They always make you feel better - at least, until you say something stupid and ruin your own mood. But you... you don't really want to be around anyone right now. Especially them. They haven't seen you like this. At least not when it's been this bad. No, better to wait it out, you think. Wait until you can actually make yourself smile. Wait until you can at least act like a normal person.

You feel like you've spent most of your life waiting.

Your phone buzzes shortly. An email, maybe. Or some random app notification. You don't care enough to check.

You feel gross. Maybe a shower would help. But if you're going to shower, then you might as well work out a little first. That's supposed to help, too, or so you've heard. Hasn't yet, but maybe it's the kind of thing you have to do over the course of several months? Or maybe you're just... doing it wrong.

Sometimes it feels like you do everything wrong.

You sigh and roll over, staring at the light filtering into the room through your curtains. For some reason, you wish it was darker outside. This feeling, whatever it is, when it's dark out, it feels... well, not better, exactly, but. Easier? No, that's not right either. More understandable? You don't know. But you wish it was darker all the same.

Surely there's something you can do to feel better. It's been months of this feeling, though, with very little reprieve, despite everything you've done to try and push through it. Trying to keep a positive attitude. Trying to be kinder to yourself. Trying to distract yourself and take steps to avoid isolation when things get dangerous. Trying, trying, trying, that's all you ever do is try. You're tired. Tired of feeling like this, tired of pretending that you're h-

Crying again. You're not sure why you started. You're not sure why you can't stop.

You wonder if Raph ever feels like this. If he ever has days where it feels easier to stay down. Probably not. He's never been one to stay down - not in the time you've known him, at least. He'd probably be able to push through this like it's nothing. He'd probably be disappointed in you for not being able to-

No. You're being overly critical again. Putting sentiments in other people's heads when you've got no evidence that that's what they think. You can't possibly know what Raph would think unless you actually ask him - and that's certainly out of the question.

Still. Maybe you could... text him. It would distract you for a little while, at least, from the gaping maw that is your chest.

You roll over again and reach out, fumbling with your phone. Shaky hands. You should eat.

Maybe later.

You swipe away the notifications that have gathered. Nothing of importance, you note. No one's messaged you. The emails are all spam. Just a bunch of random shit, like you expected.

A voice in the back of your head whispers that if Raphael wanted to talk to you, then he would have messaged you first. You push the thought away, reminding yourself that relationships are a two-way street. And just because someone hasn't reached out doesn't mean they don't want to talk to you at all.

Still. Your thumbs hesitate after opening the text thread you've got with him. You... don't even have anything to say. Not really. There's nothing you feel like talking about, you just- you just want-

You don't know what you want.

You lock your phone and toss it to the side. Maybe you'll message him later.

Or maybe you'll go into the bathroom. And stare at the medicine cabinet for a while.

[peoplearetrash]

GRIEF IS JUST LOVE WITH NOWHERE TO GO (T.T)

You ever catch yourself talking to someone’s last text like it’s a Magic 8-Ball? Shaking your phone, hoping new words will appear? Yeah. Grief turns you into a museum curator of someone else’s existence. Every voicemail, half-finished coffee, unwashed hoodie—sacred relics. You leave their side of the bed empty like a crime scene, terrified that moving a single sock might make them vanish faster.

Signs You’re Grieving Like a Victorian Ghost:

You Google “how to cry quietly” at 3 AM because the neighbors are concerned.

You keep their shampoo bottle long after it’s empty. Smelling it feels like time travel.

You hate everyone who seems happy. “How dare you live while they don’t?” (Logically, you know this is unhinged. Emotionally? Valid. (sorry might be harsh T.T))

Funny how new love makes you just as stupid, huh? Your brain short-circuits around them. You remember their Starbucks order (“venti iced chai, no foam, extra shot, but only on Tuesdays”) but forget your own birthday. You “accidentally” walk past their apartment even though it’s 30 minutes out of your way.

Signs You’re Down Catastrophic:

You analyze their texts like the Zodiac Killer’s ciphers. “They used a period instead of an exclamation point. Are they mad? Am I dead?”

You develop a sudden interest in their hobbies. (“You like… taxidermy? Cool, cool, I’ve always wanted to stuff a squirrel.”)

You panic when they hug you, because your body is like “THIS IS TOO MUCH JOY. ABORT.” (like hell, anyone is getting hugged by their love!! (Sorry for this harshness again! lol)

Love and grief are the same ghost wearing different coats. One whispers “what if” and the other whispers “what was.” Both make you:

Talk to yourself in the shower like a rom-com montage. (maybe, idk)

Clutch invisible things (their hand/the air where they should be). (happened a lot? right? righttt???)

Rewrite history (“If I’d just called them back—” / “If I’d just kissed them—”). (tee hee~)

The difference? Grief is love with no future. Love is grief with too much future. (YES, ITS TRUE!)

CLOSING THOUGHTS (AKA MY 3AM REALIZATIONS)

Missing someone is just your heart’s way of time-traveling.

The people who wreck you leave fingerprints on your ribcage.

You’re allowed to ache and bloom at the same time.

Reblog if you’ve ever:

Hugged a ghost.

Loved someone so much it pissed you off.

Misunderstood your own heart. THANK YOU TUMBLEES! <3

[wisteriawater]

I low key wanna start a chain where we talk about our favorite dunmeshi characters and why they are important to us, but I am scared and I have no idea how to do that. I just think it would be cool to see how everyone interacts with their favs and why.

For me, with Thistle (and some of this is just elves in general) is that I have the neurodivergency that leaves me with no great ability to perceive the passage of time. I can really only ever find myself in characters like him, Venti ect, but Thistle hits it even more. I get misunderstood to hell and back, some people infantilize me, others try to shape me too much into something bigger than I really am, and those two things together give you very little autonomy over the self. You just end up performing the idealized version of you that your loved ones have in their heads because you are so scared to loose them- because with out them you don't really have a place in the world of your own? Does that make sense? It gets to a point where you loose yourself all-together, and sometimes struggle to really know who you are. Bleh. I've been... I suppose displaced is the right word for it. My parents weren't truly in picture when I was young (more like a shadow in the distance. Cryptid parents), and the people that I was with could have gotten rid of me whenever they wanted, so I kinda ended up in my story's version of the silly jester/mage role like he did, so that I would still have a place? Does that makes sense? Then, that is all compounded with being grey... I don't get the same romantic experiences that most people do, so it feels like everyone is flying off into the ether now a-days. Like I am loosing them and getting left alone? His desperation to keep family/best friend around... I get it on a level I can't quite word. Aaa I have to stop now, Or I will just end up crying haha. I just wanna give this little guy a big hug...

I love those few characters that help us understand ourselves better, and even make us feel like real humans when there are so many things around us that do the opposite. Thistle is really important to me for this reason. Okay, I have been a sap long enough. Hell, how do I even tag this?