#same for the apple sauce packets

[natandacat]

Doing a pem timeline for internal medicine tomorrow and its fucking bleak... my baseline visibly worsens every year lol and the worst phases of pems are so bad to describe i literally am sitting there like oh ok. This is embarrassing. Yeah im too fatigued to do survival body functions 💯

But don't worry covid is just a flu. Who cares if my body is gone!

[5-htreuptakeinhibitor]

shaming my roommate for not being able to shop.

random name brand pre shredded roomtemp parmesean ❌ (just no. i could see if it were storebrand. i could see if it were a wedge. but bro got the worst permeation of parm)

spageddy sauce✅

spagettios (original. not even w meatballs)❌❌❌❌

tuna packets✅

bag o taters...✅ (i asked for 3 huge potatoes just for dinner one night... he got a bag of normal potatoes that im not sure if we will even finish before they become creatures. ig well have to have some people over for shrimp baked potato night. or do twice baked)

fruit gummies (no rating. didnt ask for em but snackies are permissible

bag o apples ❌ there is no fucking way we will finish them. may chop and freeze or make fried apples.

2x 2 deep dish personal frozen pizzas pepperoni (store brand) (no rating but dude does not know how to feed himself cheaply)

2... specifically microwavable supreme pizzas (for like 2 people each) (store brand) ❌❌❌❌ (why god. we have an oven.)

storebrand drumsticks (ice cream) ✅ (ice ceam is always okay)

name brand frozen eggrolls ❌ simply bc theyre too expensive for how shitty they are

storebrand raw frozen shrimp ✅

bomb pops (fucking banana fudge. insane person choice) ❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

frozen chimichangas ✅ (didnt ask, too pricey for how little food it is but theyre tastey and im on adderall so i aint pressed)

SCOTT toilet paper??? (id take storebrand over that) ✅ i didnt specify a brand so whatever. even though i know its the same price as angel soft)

2 pack cream cheese ✅

sliced mushrooms✅

the shittest bruised green pepper ever✅ i wish he would have like. looked at the produce but he did go to walmart so.

a long hickory smoked sausage?? (we asked for hot italian... idk how bro even found what he got) ❌❌❌❌❌ how even

storebrand colby jack ✅

12pk major melon (unrated)

just had to share. and this has been his best shopping trip yet (hes only done i think 4. in the 10 months. weve lived together.)

[calmdownandcook]

Calm Down and Cook Every Single Meatloaf

Basic meatloaf should be in everyone’s “recipes I know without looking up the actual recipe” collection. It opens the doorway to so much more and it strangely impresses everyone. Meatloaf is really just the evolution of Country Pâté (also known as Terrine De Campagne). Fancy! It is also the dish I order to judge the quality of a diner (just like I judge Mexican restaurants by their salsa). But Meatloaf is also something so easy to make at home. A meatloaf dinner also sets the stage for a meatloaf sandwich the next day, and who doesn’t love that? Meatloaf can even evolve into meatballs and then into Swedish Meatballs (so you don’t have to find yourself an Ikea).

Meatloaf can be made from almost any ground meat, eggs, and a few breadcrumbs. The seasoning can be any flavor profile or nationality that is ringing your bells at the moment. There was a trend of packaged dry Onion Soup mix instead of salt and pepper. Still a traditional and solid option. I think everyone has a packet of taco seasoning in the back of their spice cabinet, perfect time to use it. Meatloaf can be served hot or cold. It can be stuffed with almost anything, from cheese to pickles, to asparagus. Your friends will think you won the James Beard Award for Best Chef. Don’t be afraid. You’re in charge, not the meatloaf. Meat “loaf” can be done in a loaf pan or, if you prefer the crispy outside bits, shape it free form on a baking dish in an oval shape. I can remember my Mom once forming a meatloaf in a heart shape on Valentine's Day. I thought she was a magician. 

This is what meatloaf can do for you. What can you do for meatloaf? Here is a basic recipe that can be used as a springboard for endless variations. 

Basic Meatloaf

2 pounds ground meat.

1 egg

½ small onion (finely chopped)

3/4 cup milk

1 cup plain dried bread crumbs

1 teaspoon of Salt 

½ teaspoon of pepper 

½ cup of Any BBQ sauce

Instructions:

Let's start with the base. Combine all the ingredients except the BBQ sauce in a large bowl. Mix until it is evenly combined, this is your meatloaf base, your basic meatloaf. Shape the mixture into an oval loaf on a greased baking pan or in a greased loaf pan. Bake at 350°F for 45 minutes. Remove the meatloaf from the oven, spread the BBQ sauce all over the top, and bake for an additional 10-20 minutes until fully cooked (check to ensure internal temp is 165°F). Total cooking time will be about 60 minutes whether you are using the BBQ sauce or not. Allow it to rest for 10 minutes before slicing and serving.

Now, let's have fun and start coloring outside the lines:

First, why BBQ sauce? If you’re not in the mood it can be swapped out for ketchup, or sweet chili sauce, or eliminate that step completely. Not a big deal.

A basic meatloaf with 2 pounds of meat should serve 8 people. In reality, I think, it serves 6 but you should have in your head that it will serve 4 people because you are a normal human being and are going to want to have meatloaf sandwiches for lunch tomorrow. 

Any ground meat will work so look in your freezer. You can use 100% ground beef or go with the classic combination of beef, pork, and veal. If you struggle with veal that's Ok. Skip it and use 50% beef and 50% pork. On the other extreme, venison is also a tasty choice and gives a slightly gamey taste. If you want to try 100% ground pork here’s a tasty idea: stir in ½ of a finely chopped apple into the meatloaf base. Just remember, you’ll need a total of 2 pounds of meat. But this can be plus or minus. 2 ½ pounds is fine, just remember you will need another 15 minutes of cooking. The same goes with using only 1 ½ pounds of meat. The cooking time will be about 15 minutes less. Check the internal temperature with a thermometer and look for 165 degrees. Kitchen thermometers are a lot more accessible, affordable, and a solid purchase. They are a great tool to have and will give you the confidence to experiment with basic recipes.

If you decide to use ground Chicken or Turkey you will see that it is “wetter” than other ground meat so you will want to increase your breadcrumbs to a total of 1½ cups. Chicken and Turkey can also be very lean. A good solution for this is to lay a few slices of bacon across the top (also, because it’s bacon) as this will add fat and flavor, a couple of pats of butter along the top works nicely too.

Herbs: fresh or dried. Do you have a favorite herb? A teaspoon of dried or a tablespoon of chopped fresh is a great way to experiment with taste. Something as simple as chives and parsley will go a long way to flavoring your base. If you are using ground lamb, try rosemary.

Of course store bought breadcrumbs can also be replaced with homemade crumbs from leftover stale bread (I do not throw things away lightly). Tear the stale bread into 2-inch chunks and pulse in a food processor. “Pulse” is when you turn your processor on and off several times so you can really chop something up finely without it turning into a paste. Make a bunch of crumbs all at once and freeze the leftovers for another use.

If you only have “Italian” breadcrumbs then, maybe skip the salt because that comes already salted. Are you all about the Italian-flavored bread crumbs? Try adding flavors that will enhance that profile. A little dried oregano, garlic powder, crushed garlic, and a pinch of hot pepper flakes are great. Any or all of these can work. A ½ teaspoon of each work but you go with your intuition, you can add more or less. Parmesan cheese (up to ½ cup) is an easy addition if you have some lurking in the back of your fridge.

Now, open your horizons and truly look around your kitchen. Do you have any vegetables that are moments away from the compost pile? Chopped them up well. They can go in the meatloaf base and stretch the dish in a very inexpensive way (just don’t use more than 25% chopped vegetables in the mix. If you do, the meat will lose its ability to hold its shape and the loaf falls apart.). My Mom would do this with sad floppy carrots, celery, and mushrooms. These all work well and add to the flavor.

Next, stuffed meatloaf. If you go this route, you are going to want to add 10 minutes to the initial cooking time and make it 55 minutes. Take about  ⅔  of whatever meatloaf base you decide to make and lay it on your baking sheet or loaf pan (whatever you are using). Form a trough (trench, channel, hollow) down the middle with your fingertips. Spoon in your filling and then use the remaining ⅓ of your base to close it up. Once this is done, dip your hands in some cold water and smooth and close any openings the loaf might have. You can fill your meatloaf with whatever you fancy. A good way to start is 4 to 5 ounces of frozen chopped spinach, defrosted and squeezed dry. Spinach can be combined with any cheese (mozzarella is fun). Try sauteed mushrooms and green peppers. Go crazy, use corn mixed with a couple of spoonfuls of salsa, and call it “Southwestern”. A row of peeled hard-boiled eggs would be very French. Serve while wearing a beret. A stuffed meatloaf has so many possibilities, no one is stopping you and will earn you endless accolades.

Tiny Little Balls of Meatloaf or as I call them - Meatballs.

Take your same basic meatloaf base and shape the mixture into 1½ inch size balls and bake on a cookie sheet for 20-25 minutes at 400 degrees. You can line the cookie sheet with foil or parchment paper for easier cleanup. If your base mixture feels too wet to shape nicely, add a couple of tablespoons more of breadcrumbs.  These can be served on pasta with any sauce you enjoy. Premade, store-bought brown gravy has a place in this world and combined with meatballs and served on egg noodles is a guilty pleasure of mine. If you stir a little Dijon mustard and sour cream into the brown gravy you are very close to a Swedish meatball. Serve them with a scoop of lingonberry jam and pretend you are Swedish. There’s always a meatball sub to be made with those meatballs (also a grinder, hoagie, or hero) and they freeze well.

Meatloaf is an excellent basic recipe and can be adapted once you have the confidence. What are you craving? Would it fit into a meatloaf? Did you want to sneak vegetables into your family's diet? You can do this. Remember the meatloaf police aren’t at your door.

[psycheterminal]

Teas I like

Hot teas:

Earl Grey

Sleepytime

Green tea

Jasmine green tea blend

Rooibos/red "tea."

Lavender oolong

Chamomile, well honeyed.

Peach/mango black or white tea

Black-rose tea (rose petals and/or rose hips)

Iced Teas

Boil 4 orange pekoe bags in a sauce pan in about 4 cups of water until black. Add 2/3 cup sugar and ice into container of choice. Pour hot liquid into container, stir until sugar fully dissolved. Fill, fridge overnight. Variation: Replace one bag with mint or other herbal teas.

Same as above, but with 3 Earl Grey tea bags, 1 bag lavender or rose tea. Do not use organic honey with this, unless you REALLY like floral flavors.

Steep either version with slightly smooshed berries of choice, strawberries, blackberries and cherries work the best. Raspberries will also work, but blueberries don't work very well.

Stir in rhubarb jam as desired while hot as sweetener

Green tea with chamomile, half and half.

"Caddyshack" half-and-half variations*

Arnold Palmer: Make tea, as usual. Add half to lemonade.

Use 1 packet tea-peach tea will work! and 1 packet lemonade of any kind of off-brand Crystal Light for sugar-free enjoyment.

If you don't have the lemonade of that type, just use a gallon's worth of lemonade mix, or it'll taste weirdly thin.

Lime is an interesting take on the genre, especially with ginger lemonade, but it's very intense.

Boil the water with strawberries or cut apples of the more tart or strongly flavored versions. Pink lady is a favorite for this.

Note: I call it Caddyshack because Arnold Palmer licensed his name out to Arizona teas only. Caddyshack is an alternate name for the drink.

[createdbyinvisibles]

Dakdoritang (sweet n spicy chicken stew)

This was made in figuring favorite foods for my bhna oc bio (unimportant sure but in my defense I do run a cooking blog, and I wanted a food that good tie in a part of her story and culture as well as be something that fit her, and I felt a stew matched best to her personality and who she is. Since sure she may be the walking example of a derailed dnd campaign but she's sturdy with good and sentimental tastes, and there is nothing better than this for winter.

Ingredients

Your choice of meat (this can be baby back ribs or chicken thighs, chuck roast, same goes for any clean white meat fishes, but depending on your pot this could mean a whole rack or pack of meat.)

Soy sauce

Sake

Onions (you can also put in apples or carrots or anything you think might go, but I just stick to onions and potatoes)

Potatoes (yellow potatoes or mashing ones)

Chili pepper powder (gochugaru 고춧가루)

Chili pepper paste (gochujang 고추장)

Brown sugar (you can also use a ume plum tea base, it comes in a jar and has a jam like consistency, if you want a fruity flavor added in)

Mushroom seasoning (this hard to explain but Asian grocery stores have this packet bag of like extract seasoning from mushrooms? It's these dry pellets and adds in so much flavor)

Directions

Chop onions roughly (if you have a rack now is the time to chop it into ribs as well,) and put potatoes (whole and unpeeled), the onions and meat into pot, set aside.

In a bowl measure out three ozs of soy sauce (six if the pot is big, and three ozs of the chosen alcohol. Set aside.)

Take chili power and dust it over the meat until covered to your liking and do the same with sugar and mushrooms seasoning, and crack in pepper and don't be shy with it.

Now take a spoonful of chili pepper paste and mix it into the soy sauce alcohol mixture until fully combined and the color is red. Pour over the seasoned meat and rinse a little water into the bowl to get the remaining bits and pour that in as well. (Not to crazy or the broth will be watery)

Close the lid on pot and cook on low, check around after an hour and forty minutes if the meat is cooked, if it is you can take it off the pot for juicy meat but if the meat isn't soft enough off the bone for you than keep stewing 2 hours.

Serve with rice and enjoy!!

[angstama]

apple tree | chifuyu.m

pairing: chifuyu matsuno x reader

genre: angst, slow-burn, unrequited love, pining, fluff, chifuyu doesn’t love you that way :( 

warnings: as usual, heartbreak coming ahead <3

✧. in which you look back on the times that chifuyu had been the highlight and heartbreaker in your youth. 

you were five when you first met chifuyu matsuno under the big apple tree one summer day. 

head deep into bending the fragile weeds into a flower crown when a blonde haired boy with the prettiest ocean blue eyes approached you. “what are you doing?” he asked curiously, licking his already melting chocolate ice cream while looking at the imperfectly balanced flower that you had spent hours on crafting in your hands. “making a flower crown.” you answered simply, not even sparing the blonde haired boy a glance as you were too focused in tweaking the branches. 

“woah that’s awesome!” he beamed in excitement, plopping down next to you instantly and leaning in closer to take a look at it. “yeah i know right!” you smiled in triumph, finally looking up to see whoever was showing interest in your little hobby and behold, there sat chifuyu in a rainbow striped t-shirt with his legs crossed and eyes gleaming with interest.

 in all honesty, your flower crowns were horribly ugly, but in chifuyu’s eyes it was uniquely you. perhaps it was maybe because he hadn’t seen anyone making an actual flower crown before or perhaps maybe he was just feeling sorry for the girl who always sat alone under the big apple tree that never bloomed a single fruit all year round. whichever it was, you wished that it was the first. “teach me how to make one please!” he grabs your wrist, causing your cheeks to burn under the scorching hot sun and heart rate quickening though you were clueless as to why it happened being only at the age of five, so you decided that it was okay to have him around. 

strangely ever since then, you were never seen alone under the apple tree in the park again. 

you were nine when you first understood the concept of crushes, with the help of your best friend, chifuyu matsuno of course. 

“it’s when you want to share the biggest chicken drumlet with them dummy!” chifuyu explained, voice muffled from stuffing his face with fried chicken one after another. you weren’t sure how the two of you derived at the current topic, though you remember the last you checked, chifuyu was rambling on and on about the new girl in your class. “so, you’d share this with whoever you have a crush on?” you asked as you pointed towards the biggest drumstick that chifuyu had saved for the last, as always. 

he nodded impatiently, grabbing the very same drumstick and ready to devour it but only to come to a halt when the two of you locked eyes. “want some?” he offered, waving the fried chicken in front of you. “wh-what?” your words fumbled, taken aback by chifuyu’s sudden offer right after the whole sharing of the biggest chicken drumlet explanation he had just made. “you kept staring at it. do you want it?” he asked, with innocence laced in his voice, oblivious to the shade of red slowly making an appearance on your cheeks. you huffed, “am not!”. chifuyu only lets out a snort, “yeah sure,” he chuckles boyishly, leaning down to rest on your shoulders, causing your body to stiffen upon the sudden contact. that afternoon, for almost an entire hour you were forced to sit as straight as you could, afraid that something was going to erupt in your tummy again as you could feel the bubbling sensation that threatened to explode. 

you were thirteen when you finally realised that you, y/n l/n, wants to share the biggest drumstick with chifuyu matsuno. 

it was christmas eve and chifuyu had invited you over to his place for a dinner, claiming that his mother had threatened to throw his precious romance mangas away if he didn't invite you. 

you arrived at the matsuno’s household ten minutes earlier than stated with a tray of roasted potatoes held in your hands and beads of sweat running down your forehead despite the freezing cold temperature outside. for the eight years of friendship you had with chifuyu, you’ve never felt this nervous seeing him and his family. it’s the cold, you naively thought, when the door swung opened, revealing your best friend dressed in a maroon striped sweater with suspenders. his eyes widened, not expecting to really see you when he was just opening to check in an attempt to ease his mother’s sixth sense. “y/n? why didn’t you knock?” he gasped, gently tugging the tray on your hands into his as he looked at you in surprise. “well, i was gonna but you opened the door before i could!” you scoffed a white lie, wanting nothing but to cover up the fact that you had been standing outside because you couldn’t get your heart to calm down. 

“chifuyu why don’t you give y/n the gift you got for her now?” mrs matsuno chimed, elegance evident in her posture and movement when she lightly dabbed a napkin across her lips which made you wonder how is it possible that she's the mother of chifuyu when chifuyu shared not a single bit of her grace when it comes to eating. chifuyu pauses briefly, “give me a sec,” he nods before stuffing the roasted potato that was previously halfway into his mouth and standing up to jog over to his room. “he cleaned the house for two months for it.” mr matsuno chuckled as chifuyu jogs out again, this time with a paper bag held in his hand. 

“you better wear it everyday.” he sent you a playful wink, handing you the brown paper bag. you carefully unwrapped the ribbon that bounded the paper bag and pulling out an overly oversized hoodie enough to fit you through a lifetime. you noticed that it was same hoodie that chifuyu often wears except that yours was in the shade of emerald green, the colour that chifuyu had taken the effort to remember that you had once claimed as your colour when the two of you had a heated discussion on what colour represents yourselves. 

“wow! now we have a friendship hoodie!” you beamed in excitement, pulling the oversized hoodie over your sweater. “how do i look?” you asked, posing a few turns at chifuyu as he took a good look at you. “pretty.” he held a thumb up before stuffing another spoonful of pasta down. 

your lowered your gaze upon hearing the sudden compliment your best friend gave, opting to look at the last piece of roasted chicken that mrs matsuno had offered you earlier just now before chifuyu could lay his hands on it. your lips pursed, not entirely confident to do it but eventually picking up the piece of meat and placing it on chifuyu’s already dirtied plate from all the sauces he had mixed with his food. “thank you,” you mumbled, looking anywhere else but chifuyu’s burning gaze on you. 

the butterflies were taking flight soon and you on the other hand had no idea how to contain it. 

you were sixteen when chifuyu first broke your heart on the first day of the spring season, openly declaring in front of you and takemichi that he’ll be confessing to the pretty girl sitting in front of him during lunch time. 

her name is haru.

“no way! you’re kidding!” takemichi gaped, leaning in closer to chifuyu as the close proximity between the two of them wasn’t enough for him to hear chifuyu clearly. chifuyu crossed his arms, confidence evident in his posture, “of course not! i’ve already decided, there’s no going back!” 

“be sure not to scare her away!” you stuck your tongue out to which chifuyu rolled his eyes in response. “eh? you’re just jealous that no one’s confessing to you!”, wiggling his head in a playful manner as he brought an ‘L’ sign up to his forehead to further anguish you. you raised a middle finger, wanting nothing more than to end this conversation for you weren’t sure if you were able to contain the effect of your heart dropping six feet down. 

you knew chifuyu succeeded when he came running to you after school with the brightest smile you adored, a faint tint of blush coated on his cheeks. “guess i’m gonna see you lesser huh lover boy?” you chuckled softly, shoving your textbooks into your canvas bag as he swung himself onto your desk with a smug grin. “you’d wish huh don’t you? but no, you’ll still see me as often when i’m off from boyfriend duties,” he sang happily. perhaps maybe because it was chifuyu’s own words, you believed wholeheartedly that you were okay with being just his best friend and being supportive of his relationship. so you watched chifuyu’s love for haru bloomed into something more than just the typical puppy love you often watch on romcoms. 

in just a blink of an eye, two years had passed and the next thing you knew you were spending your birthday without your best friend for the second time in a row. “this sucks,” you grumbled, throwing your phone aside when the time struck midnight, announcing a new day had just arrived. chifuyu’s words were just empty affirmations when you realised that you barely ever saw your best friend. you weren't sure if the two of you were even best friends anymore. it felt more like he’s just a friend that you talk to occasionally now. you see, chifuyu is a loyal friend and that’s a widely known fact and that’s what made it even more heartbreaking for you because chifuyu always does just enough to keep your friendship alive and you had no reason to hate him for that. 

you rubbed your temples tiredly, wanting nothing more than to run your aching head into the wall when a packet of your favourite watermelon mints was thrown onto your desk. “rough night?”atsumu, your beloved table-mate asked smugly. “you don’t say,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes at the obvious as you impatiently tore the packet open. “he didn’t wish ya happy birthday did he?” the freshly bleached haired boy questioned. atsumu got his answer when you didn't sat in silence, opting to look out the window to distract yourself from the threatening tears prickling at the corner of your eyes. and god do love to test you when the scene of chifuyu leaning in to kiss haru on the lips ever so gently unfolds at your sight. oh how you wished that it was you who he’s kissing right now. 

chifuyu always does just enough to keep your friendship alive. 

it was already late into the night when you heard a knock outside your balcony. your breath hitched when you saw that it was chifuyu who had disturbed your little movie marathon alone after the events that had happened lately. “hey,” he breathed, a soft smile wearing on his lips to which you returned it with an awkward one, inviting him into your messy room. “oh we’re in our friendship hoodie!” he chuckles nervously. your eyes travelled on him, realising that indeed he’s wearing the same hoodie that you were currently wearing right now. “it’s late chi, what’s going on?” you sighed, tone coming off harsher than you intended to. chifuyu nods slowly, face soon replaced with an apologetic look. “i’m sorry for missing your birthday, i feel horrible really,” he begun. “ i know i haven’t been around lately, so i want to make it up to you.” 

your brows furrowed at chifuyu’s apology, you knew he was being so sincere so why did you feel even much more upset hearing it? “that’s it? you could’ve just done this in school tomorrow chifuyu.”you sighed, trying your hardest to mask the pettiness within you with a tired voice. “ i know i know, but i couldn’t sleep knowing that i left my best friend alone on her 18th birthday.” he looked at you hesitantly as you quietly pulled your duvet over your lap. “how about let’s go hiking and watch the sunrise this weekend? just the two of us. i know you’ve been wanting to do that.” 

you wished you weren’t in love with chifuyu so that you wouldn’t give in so easily. you wished you were petty enough to make a scene and just be angry at him but you couldn't so here you are right now, hiking up the trail with your hand in chifuyu’s as you helped him up the slope. “your stamina really sucks,” you retorted to which chifuyu huffed in response. “it’s not that my stamina sucks, it’s that this trail is literally ninety-eight percent high slopes,” he pouts. 

“well you could've chose not to show up.” 

“no! i want to do this with you. what are you talking about?” 

you only smiled at his little defence. “whatever,” you mumbled as you quickly dropped your grip on his and walking ahead of him in an attempt to hide your blush. “hey! wait for me!” 

it was near autumn when one day chifuyu appeared in the wee hours of the night with tears streaming down his cheeks when he fell into your arms and hugged you tightly. you found out that haru was moving away to the states with her family and had broken up with chifuyu, refusing to try out long distance relationship. 

so like any other best friend, you let chifuyu cry into your shoulders as you sat in silence that night, heart breaking at the torn state chifuyu was in. he truly loved her. 

you were twenty when chifuyu held your hands and asked you to be his. 

“chifuyu matsuno! where the hell are my batteries?” your voice echoed through your shared apartment, causing poor chifuyu to jump and drop the eggs he was previously holding in his hands on to the floor. it’s been almost two years since haru and chifuyu had broken up and you had spent a great deal of time trying to mend his broken heart though you knew that it would never be fully healed. she was his first love after all. 

the two of you had moved in to a small apartment close to your university as planned since young, officially becoming roommates. “fuck!my eggs!” chifuyu cried out loud as he frantically lets go of the spatula in his hands to grab a kitchen tower and clean up the pool of egg yolk and egg white on the marble floor. you groaned in annoyance when chifuyu doesn’t answer your question, slamming the tools drawer shut and making your way towards the kitchen. 

“i swear chi-” you paused when you saw chifuyu kneeling on the floor with his pink kitten design apron tied against his body, a pout clearly evident on his lips. “what ever happened?” your head tilted slightly, annoyance slowly decimating. “you screamed like a mad woman. that’s what happened.” he retorted. you rolled your eyes, grabbing another kitchen towel and joining chifuyu on the ground. “well if you didn’t misplace my batteries, i wouldn't be screaming.” 

“if you looked close enough, it’s literally on your study desk.” 

“it’s not!” 

“it is!” 

“it’s not!” you huffed, getting up and stomping over to your room to prove a point but your eyes widened, horrified by the pure sight of your batteries accompanies by a fresh pack with a sticky note attached on top of it. ‘you’re welcome <3′, it wrote. you slowly walked out of your room with your head hung low, doing the walk of shame. “say it,” chifuyu taunts as he skilfully tossed the omelette onto the plate and placing it in front of you. you scrunched your nose, lips pursing and taking a deep breath. “i’m sorry,” you mumbled quietly, fingers fumbling at the ends of your shirt. “ah-ah i can't hear you,” you hear him sing, a little too happy. obvious that he’s enjoying this. you sighed in defeat, clearing your throat loud enough. “i’m sorry,” you said it loudly this time. 

chifuyu lets out a laugh in satisfaction, throwing his head back while you on the other hand could only pout at his triumph. but that didn’t mean that your heart didn't swell up at the expression of happiness he has on his face right now. digging in at the breakfast that chifuyu had made for you which had now became a routine, you couldn't help but to feel small under chifuyu’s intense stare on you. “are you not gonna eat?” you raised your brow, eyeing the untouched omelette on his plate. chifuyu rests his chin on his palm, looking at you with a look of as if he had something to tell you. 

“i will.” he hummed before reaching out to grab your hands. your body stiffened, dumfounded at what’s currently happening. “you know, for the last two years, life was a little less painful thanks to you.” chifuyu confessed earnestly, “ i guess what i’m trying to say is that, you’re my end game y/n l/n. i don’t think i would've came this far if it wasn’t for you so i’m going to ask you this once,” he paused, intertwining his fingers in yours as he gazes into your eyes deeply, 

“will you be my girlfriend?” 

your relationship with chifuyu wasn’t a perfect one but the two of you always made it work somehow. which is why here you are sitting against your bed frame with luggages packed by the side wondering what exactly had gone wrong along the way? 

and you realised that you were never meant to be chifuyu’s end game. you were never meant to be his forever. 

“you think that i don’t fucking know that you were always looking at her instagram when you think i’m not around?” you screamed, body shaking from the exhaustion that’s taking a toll on you both physically and emotionally. “i don’t see how it’s wrong wanting to see how my friend is doing?” chifuyu snaps. 

you scoffed, crossing your arms as you looked away. “yeah. as if you don’t still say her name in your sleep. as if you don’t fucking mess up our favourite food, as if you didn’t tell takemichi that you wished i was haru!” this was the last straw for you. you were too exhausted to try anymore. haru was irreplaceable and you were just a temporary band aid for chifuyu. 

it was as if you had hit jack pot when your lover went silent. “i’ve loved you for so long chifuyu. but loving you hurts too much. i’m so tired of this.” you finally allowed yourself to break down, letting yourself go loose on the emotions you’ve suppressed for years as chifuyu could only watch in remorse for tearing you apart till this state. 

you finally understood why the apple tree never bloomed any apples.

you were twenty seven when you decided to leave chifuyu matsuno. fifteen years of friendship and seven years of being each other’s significant other. you finally walked away, planting one last final kiss on chifuyu’s lips and shutting the door on your ex-lover’s sleeping figure. 

[kingandfireheart]

I don't know if this is a trope or not but I was wondering if youve any recs for books where the girl hasn't been with any one before/knows very less about s*x and then the guy comes along and he shows her what she's been missing? Like with casteel and poppy!!

Hi nonnie!! I've got some recommendations, but I'm also asking my mutuals to chime in . [Mutuals, please advise with recommendations!]

FBAA is pretty high on my smut scale - the sex is described explicitly and there's some kinky shit happening. A lot of YA books I've read have a bunch of build up and then will fade to black when it comes to actually intimate scenes. (I'm assuming you're familiar with the The Folk of the Air Series by Holly Black and the Throne of Glass Series by Sarah J Mass ).

Here are some books (mostly new adult or adult genre) I read recently that may fit what you're looking for:

[I mention virginity in these, just to answer the question properly, but I just want to put it out there that it is a social construct and sleeping with people is not something that indicates character. idk how old anon is, and I don't want you to feel any pressure to read about/have sex until you're totally ready. I'm the mom friend, I had to include the disclaimer. Come talk to me if you have questions. I promise I'm nice.]

Smut levels are based on taco bell sauce packets so in order: mild (not a lot of detail), hot (detail but I can probably keep a straight face while reading), fire (my apple watch is telling me to breath because my heart is racing).

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston is a modern romance (with some time travel), where the MC is a 23 year old bisexual virgin who meets a girl on the train and falls in love. The writing in this book is excellent, and a lot of the more intimate scenes are mentioned in passing, but August does have her world rocked. [smut level: medium]

A Deal with the Elf King by Elise Kova is an arranged marriage Hades/Persephone fantasy romance, where the MC hasn't been kissed prior to the start of the book. She is whisked away to marry the Hades character, and spend a lot of time learning about magic. This isn't a smutty book, but the few love-scenes are satisfying and fun! [smut level: mild]

Radiance by Grace Draven is an arranged marriage fantasy romance and features one of the healthiest relationships I've read in a long long time. The MC is not a virgin, but didn't enjoy her prior experience, and the first love scene is really well done. The whole book is wonderful. [smut level: like 2 scenes but they are hot]

The Mistake by Elle Kennedy is a modern college romance, where the girl is a virgin, but isn't completely inexperienced prior to the first intimate scene in the book. The guy is a veritable player, and knows exactly what he's doing, but is a bit emotionally constipated. The whole series is about a bunch of white college roommates [they play hockey at a fictional new england ivy league school] who start the series as major players and end with steady girlfriends, so it's not unpredictable at all. They are terrible, which obviously means, I love them. [smut level: fire]

The Deal by Elle Kennedy is a part of the same series (it actually comes before the Mistake). Same general premise: college hockey player who is allergic to relationships convinces girl in his ethics class to tutor him. Shenanigans ensue. I don't want to be too spoiler-y, but I feel like I have to explain why I'm including it here. [TW mentions of past rape and physical assault] The MC is not a virgin, but has struggled finding physical pleasure in past relationships, because she was raped several years prior to the start of the book. The first few intimate scenes are really earth-shattering for her (in a good way), because she's able to work through some of her struggles. [smut level: fire]

The Dare by Elle Kennedy is a tangentially related book (its fourth in the second set of books about hockey players at the same university). It's about a college hockey player who is known for his fuckboy status, and a plus sized-sorority girl, who end up fake dating. Conor is dealing with imposter syndrome after he transferred from LA to escape his past, and Taylor is just trying to escape her sorority sisters relatively unscathed. Shenanigans ensue. Essentially Conor tries (and succeeds) to seduce Taylor, and she finally feels comfortable enough to be vulnerable with him. [smut level: fire]

Shatter Me by Tareheh Mafi is a dystopian romance about a girl who hasn't really been touched her whole life, and so all of her romantic/sexual moments are a bit life-changing for her. [SPOILER: she doesn't have sex until the third book]. This series is a piping hot mess, and while the writing is gorgeous, the actual plot (especially books 4-6) made me want to pull my hair out. If you read this series, I recommend you end with Ignite Me, unless you really love the characters. [smut level for book 3: medium]

Kingdom of the Cursed by Kerri Maniscalo hasn't been released yet, but I KNOW this book is going to have Poppycas AKOFAF vibes. The first book, Kingdom of the Wicked, is about a witch living in Italy who summons a hell prince to help her solve her twin sister's murder. There is one steamy make-out scene, but the sequel is supposed to be written for the NA genre, and include a lot more intimate moments. The sneak preview of the first two chapters already has some steamy scenes! [smut level for book 1: mild, book 2: i'm aspirationally saying fire]

If anyone else has recommendations, please reply to this post and help anon out!!

Recommended by mutuals:

The Roommate by Rose Danan (recommended by @noonewhoislikeyou) [link to book description because I haven't read it] [update I read it and this whole series focuses on sex workers and is really good]

Anyway, thanks for coming here and asking me! If other people send recs, I'll compile a list for you!

[hingrous]

Why do ultra-processed meals have such a high calorie content?

Isn't a calorie a calorie? Like a gram or a mile, fixed and unchanging? No, that isn't the case. What a simple calorie count on a restaurant menu or food packet can't tell you is how those calories will be used by your body. Genetics, gender, age, hormones, gut microorganisms, sleep habits, the time of day we eat, how active or inactive we are, our body fat and muscle mass, and – most importantly – the type of food the calorie is in all play a role. Our systems are considerably better at absorbing energy from a calorie of low-fiber, processed food (such as a potato chip) than calories from complete foods (such as an apple).

Calories are a unit of measurement for the amount of heat (energy) released when a food is entirely burned in a pressurized bomb calorimeter. "However, we don't consume calories." "We eat food," says Dr. Giles Yeo, a Cambridge University obesity expert and author of Why Calories Don't Count. Different bodies use the energy in different ways.

"We obtain 50% of our calories from ultra-processed foods (UPFs) on average in high-income nations," adds Yeo. There is no legally obligatory or agreed-upon definition of UPFs, and definitions used after 2012 vary greatly, according to a review research published in the journal Current Developments in Nutrition in 2019. For some food scientists, they are foods that are primarily made from various types of additives; for others, they are foods that contain few or no wholefood ingredients, are made with ingredients that consumers can't usually find in stores (such as stabilizers), are often fortified, and replace freshly prepared meals or snacks. Others are industrial formulas with five or more ingredients, or foods including additives intended to simulate uncooked foods or mask any negative aspects in the completed product. Things can get very confusing: a tin of beans in tomato sauce is ultra-processed according to one definition, yet the same beans canned in water are just moderately or slightly processed.

Now get your home doctor from here

UPFs include croissants, hummus, pesto, biscuits, breadsticks, gnocchi, cereal bars, ice cream, fish fingers, and curry paste, among others. And in some UPFs, the basic ingredients – whether they're processed to be long-lasting, inexpensive, or simply moreish – serve as a blank (or boring) canvas for whatever is added later. "Just because of the way it's done, ultra-processing strips out flavor in food, and flavor comes from the holy trinity of sugar, salt, and fat, which you have to add back in," explains Yeo. "As a result, they are typically heavy in sugar, salt, and fat, while lacking in protein and fiber, making the food considerably more calorically available."

100 calories from a high-fiber food like chickpeas will not behave in the body the same way 100 calories from a low-fiber food like an iced bun will. The energy from chickpeas will take longer to digest, reach our bloodstream at a slower rate – and, unlike the energy from the ultra-processed iced bun, will be considerably less likely to induce an unwanted surge of glucose and insulin or be stored as fat.

Rather than the overall calorie content of foods, the caloric availability of a food to our particular bodies would be more important to know. However, converting that into a clean figure for a label or restaurant menu is difficult.

Now get your home doctor from here

[sustenance-soon]

foods to make when i get my kitchen back. i swear i am going to cook / eat my way through this list and cross stuff off as i go:

new:

apple lemon ginger drink (apple, 1T lemon juice, 1 slice ginger blended then pour over hot water and add honey and cinnamon)

theroamingchef’s butter chicken and garlic naan

list of british food to cook!

soon dubu ✅

lavendar syrup

korean spicy pork (doesn’t use much soy sauce??!)

CRISPY EGGPLANT (also easy to make low sodium if u just use less sauce on top!!)

spiral cucumber salad!!

french toast breakfast sandwich (egg, cheese, ham or bacon)

korean corn dogs mini w bread

french toast ?

pancakes but like, some cool version

banana bread ✅

zucchini bread

japanese 7-11 egg salad sandwich (just get brioche and use the extra for french toast !)

vietnamese spring rolls — do no salt in the roll (just rice noodle, mushroom, carrot, cabbage, etc + wrapper) and put sodium / fish sauce etc in the dipping sauce!!! yesss

kitchn copycat starbucks lemon loaf (do a shorter version if possible / or freeze some)

coffee cake??

CHOCOLATE COVERED ECLAIRS W CUSTARD

maybe try cream puffs first lol to not have to do everything at the same time

croissants……!!!!!!!!!!!!

cream filled donuts …!!!

KOREAN CORN DOG .. maybe do minis not on a skewer to be able to fry fully. i feel like 1 hot dog could make 3 little corndogs!!!

in fall: COTtage pie! do the fork think on the potatoes so they get crisp up top!! no salt in the potatoes! all the salt in the filling! maybe grate carrots and onion and celery and use ground beef to make it faster. or if cheaper get a cut of whatever beef is used in joc beef curry and cut that into 1/4-1/3” cubes!!! actually i kind of like that idea best.

homemade pizza ✅

palak tofu ✅

yu xiang eggplant

hashimaki

shrimp tempura ✅

congee / porridge ✅

shrimp and carrot kakiage ✅

PANZENELLA OMG??

chocolate chip cookies ✅

KEBAB i want kebab!!

steamed buns!!!! i want to make pork buns…!!

swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes (needs cubed white bread)

and japanese grilled meat and green onion

ok i am adding paprika hendl unfortunately i am not immune to peer pressure of my 25k person book club

quiche!!! ham swiss onion!!!!!!!!! ✅

brownies to have with ice cream or whipped cream and strawberry sauce or other fruit sauce!

chocolate chip and walnut cookie ✅

sour cream coffee cake!

yuzu ice cream via joc!

joc chicken spring rolls!!! wow easy to make low sodium! woohoo!!

french toast bacon and cheese sandwich

frittata ? with ... potato?

nyc japanese-style curry

peter morwood’s pork with chili and chocolate

pork belly shabu shabu salad!!!

bone-in chicken curry ✅

soba noodle salad (needs soba tho wahhh)

swedish meatball and gravy!!

egg curry!!!!

aloo mattar

sushi!!!!!!

fried egg rolls

hong shao pork belly ✅

baby potatoes curry (indian)

mattar nimona?

dahi aloo

vegetable biryani (needs cashews, fresh herbs)

punjabi khadi pakora (needs chickpea flour)

Panch Phoron Dahi Baingan (needs curry leaves)

punjabi dum aloo (uses menthi and cashews)

spicy pork belly stir fry

soon tofu from packet ✅

soon tofu from scratch again

bossam (korean boiled pork belly wrap)

nori sour cream dip ✅

shepard’s pie ✅

fish n chips (i love the idea of frying the chips alongside the fish in the oil!!!!) i need to buy malt vinegar and learn to make tartar sauce. maybe i can use sour cream or yogurt instead of all mayo, that’d be good.

crispy potato tacos! could use leftover tortillas to make quesadillas ... breakfast .. quesadillas... oh boy. i think i want to use mixed corn and wheat together tortillas those are the best to me

chang fen from dim sum!!! steamed tasty guy! plus just other dim sum recipes from scratch!!! bbq pork buns, soup dumplings, shrimp dumplings too!!!

chicken tikka masala

can also use fried fish in corn tortillas with coleslaw for fish tacos !!!

stovetop butter chicken with this sauce and this chicken

honey walnut shrimp ✅

eggplant and tofu (some riff on the panda express vers my beloved lol) ✅

samosas!!!

tomato soup!!! ✅

eggplant donburi omg i lOVE EGGPLANT ✅

kabocha gratin with extra mushrooms and yeah maybe shredded chicken!! oooh making a bechamel!!!! not as scary now that i have made my cream pasta! ✅

tamagoyaki

butternut squash soup

japanese beef curry with tomato

japanese pork belly curry

japanese tonkatsu curry

taiwanese stinky tofu

taiwanese beef noodle soup

stewed pork feet

stewed chicken feet

tiramisu again ✅

mosaic sushi

korean tofu soup ✅

beignets !!!!

nacho cheese

bbq chicken wings or drumsticks in the oven ooooooogh!! ✅

homemade coleslaw to go with ^??

okonomiyaki omg

di san xian but what if i roasted the eggplant and bell pepper and potato FIRST would that not be the shit???? it would not lol ✅

dittalini sage pumpkin and chickpea stew!!

chili and cornbread with roasted carrots

pan fried ginger pork belly ✅

tunamayo or ham and cheese onigrazu

swedish meatballs with roasted carrots

spicy garlic tofu ✅

eric kim's salmon bowl ��

white fish chowder but use heavy cream and sub extra 1T butter for bacon ✅

crispy roast potatoes

fried tofu with dipping sauce (thai)

satay chicken pork and tofu and eggplant

alu chaat (need sev, good blender) or aloo tikki chaat with tamarind and cilantro- mint chutney ✅

ground beef kebab rolls ✅

chicken biryani and raita

black pepper tofu instead of beef!! ✅

indian egg curry!! and raita!!! (just do another kind of raita lol)

nice foccacia or something dipped in olive oil and balsamic, maybe with some kind of pasta ✅

rabbeokki

handmade wontons

calamari

jalapeno poppers

chicken korma!!!

malai kofta

baingan bharta

indian potato and spinach

a meal that is ALL frozen apps. i am thinking: tiny meatballs, more bacon wrapped dates, mushrooms with something, vegetables and dip. i want to GRAZE FOR HOURS!! bruschetta. caprese salad or on a stick! ham and swiss sliders??? honey garlic cauliflower! brussels sprouts and dip!

chicken parm tenders omg

sweet potato tostada

just bread / veg and dips: caramelized onion dip, nori sour cream dip, guac, eggplant and yogurt dip — these all seem really really doable!!!

ricotta spoonable with pasta, tostini, and crackers and veg (see recipe end notes)

tang cu yu: method 1 + method 2

roasted corn tomato risotto (maybe with yurucamp rewatch??) ✅

braised daikon????? ✅

vegetable / bone stock from scratch ✅

no salt udon noodles!!

spicy wontons oh my gOD i could kill for these

corn salsa

beef and potato stew (maybe lebanese?)

BORSCHT

burmese chicken and potato curry!!

handmade meatballs for spaghetti

lamb meatballs also!! maybe could use leftover breadcrumbs from loso bread

big pot of miso soup with rice noodles, enoki, napa cabbage, firm tofu, tomato!! i just want to make actual miso soup like imamu room instead of always instant miso soup from packet. i dream of miso soup with stuff and fresh rice and little a pickle meal!!

soup dumpling

sukiyaki / tomato sukiyaki from yuru camp

baingan bharta (requires gas stove or charcoal grill for best flavor tho)

easy spicy tteokbokki ✅

korean braised potato

hasselback baked potato ✅

one-pot japanese-style hot pot: fish, enoki mushroom, napa cabbage, tofu, vermicelli. with sesame paste and chili crisp based dipping sauce!!!!!!! (all in one pot, lid, cook, eat. not rounds.) ✅

korean green onion pancake with dipping sauce

faster bai qie ji ✅

yaki onigri!!

queso for one (??) to eat with nachos (sour cream/lime crema, diced or small chopped fajitas, beans maybe, diced tomato, guac, hatch salsa if its still good)

tempura via imamu room husbento week 27 — i can also do green bean and shimeji mushroom! or carrot, kabocha, sweet potato, tofu, yummy! broccoli if that’s what i have, too. maybe it all needs to parboil first? honestly idk but how hard can it be? ✅

vietnamese spring / summer rolls ✅

fried egg rolls

italian bread soup!!!

watermelon and sprite slushy (watermelon, sprite, blender)

seared salmon don bc then i can stop buying it at stores lol (requires blowtorch)

korean tofu with spicy ketchup

leigh smith’s eggplant pasta

easy:

teriyaki tofu ✅

hashbrowns and scrambled eggs with sliver sauce (once my ketchup order comes in!! ✅

croque madame ✅

salads with hardboiled egg ✅

burger and sweet potato fries ✅

guac and chips ✅

baked potato or loaded sweet potatoes (with sour cream and butter and green onions and garlic powder and maybe a little smoked paprika!!) ✅

squid hotdog spaghetti

soup with dipping bread oh my god ✅

cheezits and dip

blta sandwich. bbq chips. fuck YEAH. ✅

medium:

kimchi fried rice!!! ✅ with pork belly is best!!!

kimchi fried rice with some kind of asian mushroom in it and cheese but actually use gochujang this time! ✅

nachos: refried beans, cheese (ideally queso for one), avocado, chopped tomato, roasted corn, fajitas, sour cream, some kind of sweet salsa, hot sauce, rice ✅

burrito bowls ✅

unagi don and rewatch yuru camp s2e3!!!✅

pickles (red onions and bread and butter pickles!!)

medium hot golden curry with PORK BELLY carrot fresh shiitake. celery. potato. cabbage?? tomato?? i feel like tomato curry would taste good.

ooooh pork katsu again!!

onigrazu. tunamayo, cucumber, lettuce. ham and thin egg. just boiled chopped egg and mayo. spam. unagi!?????

tj lee’s taiwanese cucumber salad

ok in general i just need to learn to make more taiwanese food! argh!!!!

tomato hot pot

shrimp and avocado burgers

beef boruginon

lebanese stuffed pitas ??

SHAKSHUKA but maybe half or 1/3 recipe

out:

blaze pizza pizza ✅

bulk boxes of chips oh my goddd yesss sunchips!

hong shao tofu from DE my beloved + soup bao ✅

more ... indian food. i constantly want. indian food. which means i really need to learn to make. indian food. ✅

chipotle, to my eternal shame. i just want. queso!!! ✅

[najia-cooks]

Vegan ‘chicken’ pot pie with apricot, date, and raisin chutney

Recipe under the cut!

Makes one 9″ pie

INGREDIENTS:

For the pastry:

2 1/2 cups (300g) all-purpose flour

1 tsp salt

1 tsp sugar

3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) vegan margarine, cold

About 1/3 cup (80ml) cold water

1 tbsp soy milk and 1 tbsp vegan margarine, melted, for the wash

For the filling:

1 packet Gardein chick’n strips, or 225g any other chicken substitute

3 tbsp vegan margarine

1 yellow onion, diced

2 tsp herbes de Provence

3 cloves garlic, crushed and diced

2 small white potatoes, peeled and cubed

1 stalk celery, diced

1 small bunch parsley, chopped

1 small bunch cilantro, chopped

1/4 cup frozen peas

For the chicken marinade:

1/4 cup olive oil

1 tsp salt

1 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp ras el hanout

1 tsp ground fennel, or 1 1/4 tsp fennel seed

1/4 tsp ground mustard seed, or 1/4 tsp whole mustard seed

1/4 tsp ground fenugreek, or 1/4 tsp fenugreek seed

Pinch harissa or ground cayenne pepper

For the béchamel sauce:

2 tbsp all-purpose flour

2 tbsp vegan margarine

1 shallot, minced

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp black pepper

2 cups soy or other non-dairy milk

1 bay leaf

Small bunch parsley, crushed and chopped

For the chutney:

3 1/2 cup (560g) fresh apricots, pitted and chopped, + 1/2 cup packed brown sugar

OR 3/4 cup apricot preserves, + 2 tsp molasses

1/4 cup golden raisins (sultanas)

1/4 tsp ground coriander, or 1/2 tsp coriander seeds

1/4 tsp ground cumin, or 1/4 tsp cumin seeds

1/4 tsp ground mustard seed, or 1/4 tsp mustard seeds

1/4 tsp ground black pepper, or 1/2 tsp black peppercorns

Pinch asafoetida / hing (optional)

1/4 tsp salt

1 tbsp margarine

1/4 cup dried dates, chopped

1 red Serrano chili or other hot pepper, minced

3 cloves garlic

1/4 cup chopped red onion

1/2 tsp orange zest

1 tbsp apple cider vinegar

1 tbsp agave nectar (optional)

INSTRUCTIONS:

For the pastry:

1. Mix flour, salt, and sugar in a large bowl. If measuring by volume, measure flour by spooning it into a dry measuring cup and levelling off the excess (scooping will yield too much flour and thus a dry crust).

2. Add margarine and cut into the flour with a pastry blender or a knife until the pieces of margarine are roughly the size of peas--it’s alright if some are a bit larger.

3. Add enough water to form a soft, non-sticky dough--you may need more or less than 1/3 cup. Bring the dough together into two smooth balls of equal size, being careful not to overwork it--you don’t want too much gluten to develop.

4. Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for about half an hour.

For the chicken:

1. Defrost the chick’n at room temperature for a few hours, or soak the bag in a bowl of hot water for a few minutes. Chop into large cubes.

2. Mix all of the ingredients for the marinade in a medium bowl. If using whole spices, toast them in a small pan on medium heat for a minute or two until fragrant and a shade darker, then toast in a mortar and pestle or a coffee grinder (toast spices one by one, or add fennel first, to avoid burning the smaller spices before the larger ones have toasted). Add chick’n pieces and mix to coat. Marinate in the fridge for at least half an hour while you prepare the rest of the filling.

3. Once marinated, fry chicken in a large pan over medium heat until lightly browned. Set aside.

For the vegetables:

1. Prepare your vegetables: chop the onion, mince the garlic, peel and cube the potatoes, thaw the peas in cool water, and dice the celery by slicing it in quarters lengthwise, then chopping into small cubes. Float the parsley and cilantro in a small bowl of water to wash, then crush and chop.

2. In the same pan you used for the chicken, melt margarine over medium-high heat. Add onion and herbes de Provence and saute for a few minutes until onion is translucent. Add garlic and cook for another minute until no longer raw-smelling.

3. Reduce heat to medium. Add potatoes, celery, parsley, and cilantro and cook, stirring often, until potatoes are browned and slightly softened. Add peas and cook until warmed through.

For the béchamel sauce:

1. Melt margarine in a large pan over medium heat. Whisk in flour until smooth. Add shallot, salt, and pepper and cook for 5-7 minutes, stirring continuously, until flour is lightly golden brown.

2. Increase heat to medium high and slowly add non-dairy milk, whisking continuously. Add bay leaf and parsley. Bring to a low boil, then reduce heat to medium low and simmer, stirring often, until the sauce thickens, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat.

To assemble:

1. Roll out each ball of pastry dough between two lightly floured sheets of plastic wrap or wax paper. Form a rough circle by placing your rolling pin in the center of the dough and pushing outward, repeating the motion as you continue to turn the dough. The dough should be roughly 1/4″ thick.

2. Remove the top layer of plastic wrap and flip half of the dough over into a 9″ pie pan. Press the dough into the edges of the pan, making sure that it is pressed all the way down into the corners (rather than being stretched over them). Don’t work the dough with your hands too much, or you risk melting the butter.

3. Add chicken to the bottom of the pie pan and top with vegetable filling, followed by bechamel sauce. Top with the remaining sheet of dough, cut off the excess with a sharp paring knife, and crimp the edges with a fork. Cut a few steam vents into the top of the pie with a sharp, floured knife.

4. Using a pastry brush, brush melted margarine and soy milk evenly over the top of the pie.

5. Bake at 425 °F (220 °C) for 30-40 minutes, until crust is golden brown.

For the chutney:

1. If using fresh apricots, mix apricots, raisins, and sugar and allow to sit for a few minutes until apricots release some of their juices.

2. If using whole spices, toast them in a small pan on medium heat for a minute or two until fragrant and a shade darker. Grind black pepper and coriander in a mortar and pestle or a coffee grinder (the cumin and mustard seeds may be ground or added whole).

3. Melt margarine in a medium-sized pan on medium heat. Add spices and allow to bloom in the oil for about a minute. Add the garlic and Seranno chili and cook for another minute until chili is slightly softened.

4. Add apricot and raisin mixture (or apricot preserves and molasses) and dates. Cover and cook for a few minutes until fruit is tender.

5. Add remaining ingredients and cook uncovered, stirring occasionally, until chutney thickens.

[abigsad]

Sunday, March 27, 2022

Today was a split and a long ass day

Breakfast: on my way to work at 4am- like 11am? Protein smoothie and monster to get me going

Pea protein powder 20g - 70 cals

Hershey's coco powder 5g - 20 cals

Unsweetened almond milk - 8oz -40 cals

Pacific punch monster - 16 oz - 220 cals

Meal total: 351 cals

Lunch: was craving what i had for dinner last night and wanted to eat the last chicken thigh

Olive oil - 5g - 44cals

Imperial vegetable oil spread (total on broccoli and potato) - 40 g - 171 cals

Broccoli - entire bag, like 5 cups - 150 cals

Yukon potato - 191g - 139 cals

Bacon bits - 1tbls - 30 cals

Chicken thigh - 117g - 153 cals

Meal total: 687 cals

Snacks: while with my bf this morning and making lunch

Coffee creamer, powdered - 1tsp - 60 cals

Bomb pop - 40 cals

Meal total: 100cals

Dinner: at work and had to be creative. Also v tired of the same shit and usually I'll get something that happens to be fresh out of the cabinet. Also this was at like 9pmish? Once it slowed down since i was alone in upper management today, but at least i had solid baby management support.

Mustard (on top of meat) - 3 cals

Mcdouble plain, no bun - 230 cals

Hot picante sauce - 2 packets - 10 cals

Mcnuggets - 4 - 160 cals

Baby fry (like in the happy meals w apple slices) - 115 cals

Meal total: 548 cals

Total daily intake: 1686 cals

Morning shift cals burned according to watch: 2146 cals

Night shift cals burned according to watch: 2203 cals

Total burned according to Samsung watch: 4349 cals

1686 - 4349 = -2663 cals net

I'm honestly not sure how much i trust nets like this. Like i know i was at work for like 10-11 hours today, and only counted the time on my feet not when i was closing and doing money, and it registers my heart rate that averages 140s-150s on the floor, but still. I feel like the scale is a better decider on that.

[madsmazing]

D.M. Fanfic

Part Four

“What are you sighing about?” Olive questioned. I wasn’t sure if I should tell them or not. They were my best friends, however, something about me and Draco’s interaction seemed intimate, and I did have a boyfriend. I didn’t want to be judged, but I remembered who I was thinking about. They’ve stuck with me through everything. I decided to tell them, they could at least give me some advice. I walked to sit on the bed next to Ester, crossing my legs in a crisscross apple sauce style. As I was about to start, Kai and Jasper knocked on our door announcing themselves. We told them to come in, and they made themselves comfortable next to Olive.

I started with Harry at Three Broomsticks, which they all took great offense to. “Who the bloody fuck, does he think he is?” Liv exclaimed, slamming her fist on her pillow. “Gross, Liv.” Kai muttered. The same time Ester mocked, “The chosen one.” I finished telling them about my interaction with Draco, which they had all fell silent exchanging glances with each other.

“So, what do you guys think?” I questioned feeling uneasy about this whole conversation.

“You need to break up with Harry.” Liv stated. Ester argued, “No, you and Harry are end game.” Everyone gave her a confused look, had she not been paying attention the last year.

“What would I even say? I’ve never broken up with someone before.” I whined, annoying myself.

“That your into blondes now.” Liv commented, making everybody laugh.

“It wouldn’t make sense to break up with him, before we get matched.” Kai reasoned. “I think you should just talk to Harry about how he’s making you feel.” Jasper stated, “That’s true, he doesn’t know what he doesn’t know.” Liv agreed. I nodded,

“Okay, and what about Draco?” All of them shrugged, causing me to put my head in my hands. Running fingers threw my light hair I looked back up.

“Do you have feelings for Draco?” Ester said, and I froze for a second with my thoughts. Did I have feelings for Dray? He did make me feel valued and taken care of. I always had butterflies, and warm cheeks around him. Maybe it was just infatuation though.

I shrugged at them, “I don’t know.” I mumbled.

“Yes, you do.” Liv stated, “And by how long you thought about it, you probably do have feelings and your just scared to say it.”

“Am I a bad person?” I asked them, feeling tears well up in my eyes at the situation. I felt awful, how could I develop feelings for someone while in a relationship. Even if it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, it’s not like he was cheating on me. I almost wish he would cheat on me, so it wouldn’t be my fault for falling out of love.

“No, you are not.” Kai stated automatically. “You’re just in a bad situation.”

“That Harry put you in.” Jasper reminded.

“Just talk to Harry, during your break between classes.” Ester offered, I nodded.

“Thank you, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” I stated, Ester opened her arms in response, and I hugged her, the rest of them quickly followed making us fall on the bed in laughter.

Hermione was right, as always. I didn’t need to worry about boys. Especially when I was going to get matched with one soon. I honestly should just focus on myself. I had my own issues to deal with.

After the guys left, I pulled out the binder and started flipping through the pages of packet one. There were three packets in the binder, all ranging from questions about what kind of home you want to live in to how active you hope your sex life will be. It felt highly invasive, but I suppose it should be. I started filling out the questions on the first page of packet one, there was about fifteen pages on each packet, and about ten questions per page. I put little stars next to ones I wasn’t sure about and continued through the packet. After a solid hour, I started yawning. Putting the packet away, I got comfy in bed. Wishing Ester and Olive a goodnight, a sense of dread filled me as I realized I was going to have to talk to Harry tomorrow.

***

I woke in the morning with Ester singing, Liv threw a pillow at her that she quickly dodged. “Wake up sleepy heads, breakfast is in ten minutes, and it’s the first day!” Ester sing-songed.

“I could go without breakfast, just let me sleep.” Liv groaned.

“No ma’am, it is the first day. We are starting it off right!” Ester stated, pulling back the curtain around Liv’s bed. I laughed at them rolling myself out of bed and groggily walked myself to the bathroom. I quickly put my robes on and brushed my teeth. Performing a spell to do my hair and makeup. I walked out of the bathroom letting Liv go in and put my books for the term in my bag.

We made our way to the great hall, sitting at the Hufflepuff table. The smell of bacon filling senses, making me let out a content sigh. It was the most amazing breakfast ever, and we quickly ate.

I made my way to potions, which unfortunately, I didn’t have with any of my friends. I walked in spotting a bleach haired boy, and he saw me and patted the seat next to him. His hair wasn’t done today, just messy. I realized he could get more attractive then he already was. Relief quickly washed over me, and I shot a smile his way. I sat next to him, pulling my book for potions out of my bag, and greeting him.

“Hey, Dray!”

“Hey, Darcy.” He only called me Honey B, when no one else could hear. I think he thought it made him sound soft. He shot a smile back at me, and my heart melted the minute I caught his sliver eyes with mine. They were sparkling today.

“Is everything okay today?” He gave me a side glance, as everyone was still chattering around us.

“Yeah, I think it will be.” I knew it would. No matter how Harry responded, I knew I would be okay with the outcome.

“Well, if you want to talk about it, I’m here.” He stated, turning his face towards me this time. I pressed my lips together.

“I don’t think it’s appropriate.” I pressed my fingers down on each other, like I was trying to pop them. A nervous habit I picked up a long time ago.

“It’s about Potter then.” I nodded, as he placed his hand over my fidgeting ones.

“No reason to be nervous around me, unless it’s because you find me attractive, of course.” I laughed at him, pushing his hands off mine.

“Could you get anymore cocky?” I joked.

“If I had you, I could.” He responded quickly. I froze for a second, before lightly laughing it off.

“You’re not very respectful of my relationship, Dray.” I said, opening my book to the page number on the board.

“Why should I respect anyone, but you?” He questioned.

“I’m part of the relationship.”

“Are you?” I stared at him intently.

“You crossed a line, a bit.” I quipped turning back to my book. I was reading any of the words, just trying to look busy.

“How far is a bit? Like am I one toe over the line, two?” He smirked at me, causing me to laugh a bit at his joke.

“Maybe three.” His eyes squinted causing like dimples to form on his face.

“Oh now that’s just too far. How will you ever forgive me?” I laughed, shoving him playfully.

***

I walked into my common room during my break from classes. I didn’t have Harry in any classes today, I was just going to have to see him during lunch. I spotted Jasper sitting on the sofa by the fireplace and went over to sit beside him. I sat down facing him and plopped my feet on his lap. He shot me a smile looking up from his book. “How are you doing, Angel?” Jasper spoke, using the nickname he has had for me since we met.

“I’m okay, just nervous about this talk with Harry.” I sighed, annoyed at myself for stressing so much. Jasper patted my shin, leaving his hand there to rest on it.

“I want you to do what’s in your heart, okay? I watched you this summer and I know your reaction to how he made you feel. I want you to be with someone that can make you feel valued and cared about.” I smiled at him.

“Can you just be my boyfriend, Jasper?” I teased.

“You’re not good enough for me, Angel.” I let out a scoff and shoved his leg with my foot. Jasper gave me a cheeky smile before going back to his book. I laid my back against the couch, trying to sort through my thoughts.

I asked Harry to meet me by the Black Lake after classes, and he agreed. That’s where I sat waiting for him, he was a few minutes late. Which didn’t help the frustration I felt towards him. I didn’t know what was going to come out of this conversation, and I honestly didn’t know what I wanted to come out of it. I knew my feelings for Harry were basically nonexistent at this point, but I still cared about him.

Lessons went by in a blur today. All I could think about was this conversation, and this Marriage law. I honestly understood the reason why the ministry is enforcing this law. I know that they shouldn’t get a say in our lives and everything. However, we lost so many wizards and I understand the need to repopulate. It wasn’t about us really, it was about the wizarding community. I would never speak on this to anyone else though, they were all so pissed about it.

Harry came strolling up, and plopped down next to me. “What’s going on, Mae? You know I normally have quidditch practice, right now.” I sighed.

“I need to talk to you about my feelings and our relationship.” I stated, turning away from the lake, and facing him. The rocks were cold against my skin and I shivered from the tenseness in the air.

“Well good ones I hope.” He said with a chuckle. Which soon died out as he realized they weren’t good feelings.

“Harry, I feel like we’ve grown apart. At the start it was amazing, and I really appreciate that, but now it just feels forced.” I tried to explain the best I could. With every second passing, the reminder that this was an awful idea grew more persistent.

“Your forcing yourself to be with me.” Harry clarified. I shook my head slowly.

“Not exactly, it’s more my feelings over the last year have died a bit. You’re just so wrapped up with your friends and being the hero. I just don’t feel like I belong.”

“Well I’m allowed to hang out with my friends, Mae.” Harry stated. I sighed, he was missing the whole point.

“I know this Harry. I would just like some of your time as well, is all. I just don’t feel valued or loved by you. We’ve been together two years, I think we just need to get to know each other again.” I suggested, I didn’t want it to be an attack. Although the way, he was acting seemed like he was taking it that way.

“How do I not make you feel valued?” Harry questioned, his voice raising a bit.

“You didn’t visit me all summer, and you haven’t spent any time with me outside of a group setting, and you didn’t even tell me when you left last year.”

“I was with the Weasley’s this summer.” I was tired of this conversation. He was not understanding and I don’t know if he cared to try.

“Harry, I think we should just take a break for now.”

“You’re breaking up with me?” Harry yelled, with an emphasis on the me. I nodded.

“I just think with the marriage law and everything, it might be a good idea to take a breather.” I reasoned, but honestly, I just wanted to be done with this mess. The realization that I just wasted two and a half years of my life hit me, and my eyes started to sting. I felt so dramatic, crying for the third time in two days.

“What if we get matched?” Harry questioned. I stayed focused on the dark water in front of me. The wind caught the water making the breeze a bit too chili to stay out here much longer, not helping my teary eyes.

“Somehow I don’t think that will be a problem.” I stated, not looking at him.