#sam you are so important to me
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for bingo: what about sam !!
first bisexual transgender autistic dog whos also a milf
never ask a woman her age, a man his salary, and tumblr user pikaflute on what her opinions are on men (dogs) who wear suits. it will always end like this.
i like sam. hes funny and cutie. i liked max at first because self recognition through the other but sam is really fucking funny. he's an asshole too but he's also a sweetheart. i know he wants to be a cool noir detective and he practices his one liners in the mirror before he has breakfast. he's infodumping to max about something that he made up and max is like "is that true?" and sam is like "sure is little buddy (lying)!"
he's really good in season 3. skunkape im gonna need that remaster so my switch can have no storage space after i take 500 pictures of sam in 303. this image specifically has made me sick.
i do think someone needs to be punished for putting my pookie booboo bear through season 3 though. no reason why he had to be through those events and to make him suffer. what if he was loved, by me. what if he got to take a nap or something. maybe a kiss or two. he deserved to go more angry too. he was being hurt all season and deserve to like beat more people up. #TRUTH!
anyway fat guys RULE! i have selfshipped with him. its how i roll. love wins and all that. babygirls in suits 4eva.
#sam you are so important to me#he is so babygirl and i need to let this 50 year old bisexual know im here for him
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#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr meme#hsr firefly#hsr Sam#i headcanon her as genderfluid#i think it's very important that everyone notice that the dice have “FUCK YOU” written instead of 20#hoyoverse you have canonical they/thems so PLEASE let me have a she/him#I'm BEGGING you
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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in your own time, a Good Omens fanfic by @ineffabildaddy
Aziraphale and Crowley grew up together as next-door neighbours on Hogback Lane, classmates at the local Catholic school, and inseparable best friends. By the age of eighteen, both were hopelessly in love with the other, despite the knowledge that they were doomed to live apart, as Crowley aimed to pursue university study in London and Aziraphale committed himself to remaining in Tadfield, dedicating his life to the Church. After almost twenty years spent away from his hometown, renowned botanist Crowley decides to come and visit Tadfield again at a moment's notice; the purpose of his visit is to speak at a Careers Day for the school he and Aziraphale, now a beloved priest and a frequent helper at the school, attended. The twenty-four hours that follow will change both of their lives for ever.
Read the fic here, and check out my rec here
#Yes folks it IS favoritism!#HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!!!!!!#This quote is so personally important to me#you know why <3#good omens fanfic#good omens fic rec#good omens fanfiction#fic cover#in your own time#ineffabildaddy
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guy who so desperately tries to find god. who wants to have faith in a higher authority to guide him out of the hole he's in. from the weight of guilt from simply existing, as the person he is. but every time he thinks he's answered his higher calling it turns out he's made the Morally Incorrect choice and his path to goodness and holiness was the road to the devil all along
#now trusting god will give you a way out? there's your real crime!!!#guy betrayed by the protestant promise of a direct connection with god. but is also somehow. joan of arc.#see he never achieves actual martyrdom tho bc he's not allowed to stay dead lmaooo#sam somehow the most unintentionally catholic AND protestant character of all time#dean the atheist who sees religious predestination as the curse it is from the get go. framed as the narrative's Real Moral Authority#but also in the process reifying patriarchal familial power n authority. very very important Value of the Church#i don't think it's that deep. the show's attempt at critiquing christianity. but the way it reinforces christian cultural values???#'religious predestination and absolute faith in a higher authority...bad'#nice nice ok tell me more?#“so you should put your faith in family. in your patriarch (big brother)”#?????????#the thematic incoherence of it all. it's like the world's stupidest puzzle box to me. i can't leave it alone.#sam = maybe i can find god thru following my destined path. wait oh shit.#cas = maybe i can find god thru rebellion and seeking my own destiny. wait oh shit.#dean = god is fucking dead and me i also feel not so good#the “guy who so desperately wants to find god parallel” <- me coming out as a secret sastiel fan#both of them...finding god in de-[sniper on the roof kills me in one shot]#spn bible studies#j.txt
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2024 nhl global series finland game 1 postgame interview | 11.1.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#sam reinhart#florida panthers#2425#CRYING INTO MY HANDS#THEYRE SO SILLY#the things we do to make our captain giggle#finland trip also known as how can we make the finns giggle trip#he heard “lundell” out of a string of finnish and went oh i know that word!#the smartest kitty indeed#“yeah keep going” SASHA GET HIM!!!!!#wants to play with the big dogs let him play!#before we know it he'll also be saying kiitos into the mic like erod#canadians and their emotional support finn#very important#sashas giggles are so important to me#he thinks reino is funny reino you are charming him#unfortunately sashas type is bumbling foreigner huh#theres a pattern here
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sam with chronic pain after the cage and chronic fatigue after the trials <3
#chronically ill sam is soo important to me#the idea of like. the cage lingering.#you can't ever escape it it's in your bones etc etc#also i think with gadreel too - he starts dulling the pain (& this part is going back to one of vic's post) but then he starts#feeling so awful again and he's just so tired all the time & he realizes that the trials didn't actually purify him like he thought#he failed and they made him worse <3#sw#star notes
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in honor of the Sam BA 🫡📣 idk what to do with myself
#rising from the dead for sam collins? you bet!#what the fuck. what the fuck . w#oh my god#do you feel me? oh my god#it deserves more than doodles. can i draw stuff from the ba like legally idk#okau ill drink waterand stop tagging this so much#redacted audio#redacted asmr#brainz oc tag#digital art#fanart#art#artists on tumblr#digital artist#redacted darlin#redacted sam#im rlly sick rn it just felt too important not to post something to commemorate i love sam so much
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HELLO DEAR if you're still taking prompts i would love to see the gremlins and "kisses to shut them up" LMAO..... i imagine they both do this quite a lot they're idiots supréme ahsgskfgh <33
EEEEEE HI MOON sorry for the long wait for this one!! Now that all the holidays and birthdays at my house are pretty much over I finally have time to sketch up some answers for some asks that have been waiting way too long and I’m so happy to get yours out there first!!! :Dc here it is myehehheeeh this was an extremely fitting prompt
Sam knows exactly what tf he’s doing lmaooooo. Probably it just backfires on Max bc Sam decides to sing something even sappier hhflzjgkhsjdhssbjffhbd
#your honor they’re very important to me 🥺#and they are so so so so sosososoo important to each other. god I'm so normal abt them#more ask responses to come hehe!! so if you sent one a while back and didn't get a response get ready >:)#sam and max#sam and max freelance police#freelance husbands#asks#my art
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Ranger Soup and Mrs. Soup love being parents 😌 and love having all of their little souplings running around 😌 and they have absolutely zero regrets whatsoever 😌 and this is very important to me.
#911 lone star#sam campbell#ashlyn campbell#ranger soup#mrs soup#I’m literally obsessed actually#parents absolutely loving being parents is so important to me#and parents of a lot of kids absolutely loving being parents of a lot of kids is also super duper important to me#I feel like parents of a lot kids always get portrayed as grumpy#and like ‘ugh. I have so many kids 🙄’#and are always like ‘don’t do it! it’s a trap!’#and as one of six kids who has parents that love having us all#having positive representation of someone who loves having a bunch of kids is very important to me. personally#so soup being like ‘it’s the best thing in the world. that’s why I have four.’ makes me so incredibly happy#and this is something that will be integrated into my fics#thank you.#anyway
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gonna finish my re-watch of Gravity Falls (almost got through the entirety of it all just yesterday, but I have like 1/4 of s2 left bc I got tired) so uhh hey how about you send in some gravity falls asks/doodle requests that I’ll get to either while I watch or after I finish 🥺
#doctorsiren#not art#siren speaks#this show is majorly important to me#it’s one of the reasons I even wanted to go into the animation field in the first place#very influential to 2014 me#little baby Sam haha#ALSO#my dreams last night were FILLED with bill cipher so if I start talking not like myself. you know what happened…/silly
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Oh I was just haunted by jmah!Dream’s deteriorating mental state
:C my BOYYY
and it's awful, too, because it's not like Dream is in a particularly good state of mind when the prison starts in the first place. and he's in here because he's terrified (and he's in here as punishment) and he's in here because even though Sam hates him--and he's ensured that Sam hates him, and he's planning to do more to make sure of that fact as well (in canon, c!Dream is talking to c!Sam 'all about exile' in those first few days)--Sam will do his job. he trusts him to do his job. he knows Sam, the man that he's worked with for the last month on this project, on making sure this prison is as secure as it can possibly be, one of the final few people to work with him before the events of the green festival, doomsday, staged finale etc. made sure he'd stand alone, just where he was supposed to. this is a Dream that's already been swimming in the lava before Sam travels back in time.
unlike Sam's betrayal in canon, there's nothing slow about what happens in JMAH. there's no ability for him to cope and go yeah, Sam's being kind of serious, but it's no big deal, yeah, this place kind of sucks, but it's survivable, yeah, there's some mistreatment, but I expected that. in an instant, Sam goes from a predictable cog in the machine meant to keep him alive into a stranger hellbent on torturing the fuck out of him, and he has no idea why. Sam is nowhere near as straightforward as Quackity in explaining what the hell he wants out of Dream--he asks for the book, sure, but also for information, also for complete obedience, also for explanations for things he shouldn't know and punishments for things he never did. there is no promise that the revive book will end anything, for this Dream, and no one to give him anything at all but the Warden.
just ,, the lengths to which this Sam is willing to go, the intensity of his obsession, the way he'd be left reeling with no choice other than to endure and wonder why breaks my heart. Dream has no fucking clue to what end this is all for, and i think he struggles a lot with that. worse than just the torture, perhaps, is the familiarity, the sparks of something that is almost fondness, the satisfaction in Sam's voice when he's gotten something and Dream isn't even sure what he's just given away--and maybe it'd be easier to understand if what Sam wanted from him were any more straightforward, if the desire could pan out as something as simple as sadistic pleasure at hurting him or deriving some kind of gratification from making him submit or wanting power or to eliminate a threat or anything, but all that is clear is that Sam wants something from him and will stop at nothing to get it.
c!Dream and identity is already a finicky thing as well as his whole complex about himself and evil--c!Dream thinks he's a person that does evil things to achieve good ends, but he struggles pretty heavily, honestly, with himself-as-evil and being viewed as evil-and-just-evil and actually being the tyrant-villain-monster-snake-that-just-bites, etc, which means that there is a level of vulnerability here when it comes to how he sees himself and builds his identity and the constant, relentless onslaught of . pain and torture combined with Sam justifying it all by Who He Is Innately and monologuing about how he deserves it all, because c!Dream isn't a person that doesn't think that punishment as a concept is wrong and doesn't necessarily disagree that he's evil either. and again. torture self harm box of mental illness. and part of the problem with a Sam that's fresh from Daedalus and then thrust into kind of the worst possible position of reflecting on those conversations by being in a place where he's able to fall hard on old habits to copium his way out of dealing with anything he personally might have done (because obviously he can just Fix It Now) while also having the additional cope of i-am-godsent-to-make-everything-better BY keeping dream in a box, you kind of get a situation where both Dream and Sam are psychologically in pretty vulnerable places and then you're taking a torture machine hammer to those stress points. so it's fun.
i have no clue if that last paragraph made any kind of sense btw.
but ... yeah. even for any character in any kind of state the insane torture contraption of torture efficiency would be. erm. extremely damaging to one's mental health, to say the least. the only good thing for dream i guess is that sam still has his head too far up his own ass to actually git gud at conditioning anyone deliberately and is therefore still largely skating by By Accident, because otherwise his head would've been even more blendered than it already gets.
#just me and him au#my asks !!#of course his head already sucks ass so#i think re: the prison arc c!Dream had a lot of vulnerabilities that i don't think he or sam or quackity or whatever like. recognized#because in general people's perception of c!dream didn't tend to match up very well with who the guy actually was#for reasons including his own complete lack of self awareness and how deeply delusional people tended to be about him always#but that being said. like. i think it's important to remember that for all that daedalus gives us insight on what c!dream sees#as like. good and evil#he's still very sure of his being evil. and visibly struggles with that later in the finale and snake speech#being sure of his actions and the ends justifying the means by no means translates into confidence in his own identity#c!dream tends to be sure of what he has to do. who he is? not so much#(versus c!sam's DELUSIONAL ASS confidence in Who He Is and Who Dream Is and how that informs EVERYTHINGGGG)#c!dream is who he needs to be and in the right circumstances that means you can make him who you need him to be#i think that sam and dream's issues can be in certain situations much more compatible than people realize sometimes#and it's in those situations where you get the worst kind of feedback loops for both characters.for sure
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thinking about the comparisons of Sam to John and the revenge shit is what really gets me because like. John raised his kids as hunters because he lost himself in his grief over Mary dying and obsession with revenge. Sam almost lost himself to it too at the end of season 1 (he would have if he shot John), but he stops himself because his alive family is more important to him than revenge for Jessica (the big difference between him and john!).
In contrast, when Dean dies in season 3 Sam doesn't have anything left but the revenge. His brother is dead and there's nothing he can do. That's when he loses himself and lets the want to kill Lilith take over. The powerlessness he felt when Dean was going to hell and confirmation that he could do nothing was what Ruby needed to get him hooked on that demon blood, too. This is similar to how John became hooked on hunting Azazel, but is also a more literal addiction (demon blood addiction as a metaphor for Sam's revenge quest, anyone?). Just like in season 1, Sam is paralleling his father here.
However! I believe it's at least a little bit of an unfair comparison to make. Sam's circumstances were a lot worse than John's with Ruby spurring him on (and the actual addiction to the blood). Plus, he didn't have a responsibility to his family like John did until after Dean got back. When that happened he did continue what he was doing, but at that point he was already hooked on demon blood/in too deep with Ruby anyways. He was also convinced he was already unclean! At most he thought he could use it to kill Lilith, right?
Also, Sam's obsession was much further along than John's when the opportunity came to put revenge over family (since Dean had once again. Been dead.). I'm not saying he didn't fuck it up, he 100% did! He betrayed Dean's trust and made a HUGE error in judgement, no matter how sympathetic I am towards him
(Not denying this is a Sam defense post! But I also have enough media literacy to understand that even when I love and am defending a character, that doesn't mean they did nothing wrong. I'm saying Sam is a better person than John was, not that)
Anyways, this betrayal still isn't comparable to John, who started out with two very young children to take care of from the beginning! He doesn't have the excuse of his obsession developing or getting in too deep while his family wasn't around like Sam does. Also, for all the shit Sam's addiction causes, he at least doesn't force Dean into it. This is as opposed to John, who raised his kids to be hunters too!
Anyways Sam, when in his right mind (not an addict being manipulated!), knows to choose his family over the revenge. When he doesn't, it's because he's a victim of severe, completely different circumstances. John Winchester left his normal life for the sake of revenge while he had two kids in the backseat. For all the similarities between John and Sam, despite the many many parallels and connections of their stories, that's the big, important difference between them. That's what matters
#I'll be a Sam defender till the day I die#And a John hater#They have so many parallels#But I want to make this distinction clear#Also demon blood arc my beloved#It's so important to me#Analyzing it is so fun#😍#Please don't read this mutual. You know who you are.#I think too hard about things sometimes :)#That it#supernatural#Sam Winchester#John Winchester#Spn#spn analysis#Spn season 4#anti john winchester#Fuck that guy
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I've had this theory for a while now, and me n my friend (@nightshadetq ) have talked about it a bit as The Magnus Protocol continues, but I really don't think Alice's indifference to the paranormal/statements/cases ect ect is proof that she like. Has no idea what's going on, or will be in for a rude awakening.
[Note: this post is not free from spoilers up to episode 18]
I think she knows a decent amount of what's actually going on, and is trying to protect Sam (or her uninformed coworkers in general) from getting in too deep.
Other than Lena, who I assume has been the boss since Alice arrived, Alice has worked at the OIAR the longest, "nearly a decade" and has consistently told Sam not to look into anything, to not be curious, and to just do his job, and those moments are when she is the most serious, an odd departure from her typical attitude, very likely a coping or defense mechanism (or survival tactic) on her part.
We also have how she and Colin interact, and her conversation with Teddy in the most recent episode (18 as of writing). While yes, her and Colin's unlikely duo could be in part simply a fun dynamic, grumpy/sunshine, whatever, but we also don't really know what has happened within the last near decade of Alice working at the OIAR. The only person Colin likes is Alice, perhaps because she's the only one he trusts, or maybe they went through something together, that's mostly speculation on my part I'll admit.
What's more interesting is Alice and Teddy's conversation, the weight of Alice calling Teddy a liar, her saying to herself for Teddy to "watch himself" because she's worried. I would point out we have no idea how long Teddy worked at the OIAR, though in episode one there's a mention of "another four years" which implies he's worked there about that amount of time, and so Alice had still worked there the longest.
Honestly it would be weird if Alice hadn't seen weird shit pre-canon given how long she's been there, and that despite the jobs turnover rate hasn't quit despite everything, almost like she's obligated, to the job perhaps not, but maybe to the other people working, given we know that people can and have quit. Of course it could also just be the getting a new job is difficult and she has a younger brother to help out occasionally, but truthfully I find it a bit difficult to believe that being the only reason she wouldn't have quit by now.
Also interesting that the only thing Alice said in response to Gwen talking about Mr. Bonzo, where Sam laughs and thinks she's joking, is after she leaves saying "Curiosity will get you killed, best try and ignore it" wherein Alice clowning on Gwen is what I, at the least, would expect in response. Yes, she questions Gwen interacting with monsters, but she doesn't push her to talk about it, and in fact, gave her an out on what the Externals are.
Considering both Gwen and Sam didn't know about them until 1. Gwen asking Lena to let her "in" and getting work about/for the Externals, and 2. Sam just now being informed. Meanwhile Alice has a fake explanation on what they are, providing Sam with said explanation, therefore shielding him from the truth of the matter, and letting Gwen not have to talk about it, only for Gwen to then say what they actually are. So either Alice already knew what an External was, and lives by the "if you don't know about the real goings on nothing will happen to you" deal and tries to act the part herself, or someone who no longer works at the OIAR AND worked with Externals told her that that was what they were, which I'll admit is also a possibility.
There is also her seeing the drowning victim and her reaction to them. Her primary issue as I remember it was the dead body, given how she implies she hadn't seen a dead body since her parents passed. However, her having a negative reaction to a dead body doesn't mean she hasn't seen other freak shit. There is also the option that she lied about not having seen a dead body since her parents, and she (rightfully) still has an averse reaction to them, though I don't necessarily believe this myself, I am presenting it as an option.
Maybe I'm talking out my ass, but I really don't think Alice has completely avoided everything up until now, especially given how weirdly cagey she is about anyone (mainly Sam, but they have a history so maybe she feels responsible for him in some way) getting curious about what they do, or wanting to look into the cases they receive. If she didn't know anything at all, I don't know why she'd care about someone getting curious about their cases, or at least care as much as she seems to.
#the magnus protocol#tmp#the magnus protocol spoilers#tmp spoilers#tmp theory#the magnus protocol theory#alice dyer#sam khalid#gwen bouchard#lena kelley#colin becher#teddy vaughn#ghost listens to horror podcasts#dude i really think alice knows SOMETHING#i gen cant believe shes just been in the dark the whole time#and i dont wanna bring up tma and how things worked in it#but i think it is a bit important to note that while yes most of then worked at the archives for a while#i dont think any of them worked there for nearly a decade pre canon#to me at least they all read as mid 20s#whereas alice herself is in her mid 30s#ik bc i did the math#so i dont think comparing jon to alice in this instance as mcs really works#i dont think comparing any of them really works bc theyre their own characters but thats whatever#also wayyyy too much of how alice acts is more defense mechanism and i want me and my friends to live#rather than jons i refuse to believe in the supernatural until its thrust in my face#alice is much more 'best leave well enough alone' as a survival tactic#likely because shes seen what happens when you dont leave well enough alone#anywayyyy thats enough of me rambling teehee#im so sorry this post is so long#its comedic
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there's a somewhat subtle but notable development i've noticed in sam between seasons 1 and 2, in that he becomes much more willing to lie to the people he's trying to help—he starts finding lies a practical necessity and the truth about the supernatural as something to avoid in polite society.
in bugs, sam urges matt to tell his father about the curse, make him understand the severity, while dean instructs him to lie his ass off so his father will get the hell out of the house. this episode favors dean here: larry obviously doesn't buy the curse story, and it's proven to sam that the truth can in fact be more harmful than a lie.
then by salvation, sam seems to have integrated into himself that lying is necessary: when he proposes that they tell monica and her husband the truth, that a demon is coming for their baby, it's a joke. dean registers this joke with a sardonic grin and sam instantly agrees this is a Bad Idea. he's learned from his mistakes.
the development across season 1 is, here, that lying is necessary for them to do their job. people don't believe in supernatural phenomena, at least not insofar as it pertains to themselves, and they'd sooner get arrested than do any actual saving of the day.
case in point.
all this to say i think roadkill is an interesting episode. much of the conflict between sam and dean centers around what information to disseminate to molly, what she should know and what she shouldn't. they go back and forth trying to figure this out, often unprepared for her questions and hiding the truth in obfuscations and white lies. neither of them are so cruel as to tell her anything blatantly false, but neither of them are willing to tell her the full, unadorned truth.
sam has learned his lesson: he keeps everything he tells her in the realm of plausible deniability, refracted through layers of half-truths that don't actually tell molly anything about her situation. even though he is the one who outright proposes that they tell her the truth, he is the one who, surprisingly, ends up telling her the least.
instead dean is the one who offers up the most blatant truths throughout most of the episode. in this sequence, sam even resists the truth, still convinced that obfuscation is what will further their goals most. the truth will make people think they're crazy, it'll get in the way of doing their job. he's not wrong, either:
and until the end of the episode, he continues to bury the full truth and speaks in roundabout ways to keep it from her.
many such examples.
anyway, what i also find interesting about this is that while sam commits to this lesson he learned in season 1, dean is rather forthcoming about the truth. clearly he doesn't like the idea of telling molly what's going on, but he's still quite often the one to offer up a plain, truthful explanation over sam's much nicer obfuscations. which is a little strange, considering he is the one who typically pressures sam into lying and constantly reminds him of the value in lies. not that dean has never cut the crap and offered up the truth—there are plenty of episodes where he does just that—but since a major conflict of this episode centers around this point of contention and since dean has already expressed his unwillingness to tell molly the truth, i can't help but raise an eyebrow.
what this episode also does, however, is parallel molly and sam. similar to maggie in playthings, molly is a monster by circumstance, lonely and afraid. she functions as an allegory for sam as his destiny develops and his fears about his impending doom heighten, and when sam speaks to her he is also speaking to himself, about himself.
ultimately, i think this indicates a development on dean's part, as well. after croatoan and hunted, dean has no more secrets to keep from sam, and he's chosen him as his codependent life partner. more or less, he's "taking responsibility for himself" by abandoning his duty and devoting himself entirely to sam. and sam values the truth: he's resistant to lying to civilians about the supernatural and only reluctantly gives up after a full season of grappling with it, and when it comes to his brother one of the first demands he makes of dean in season 2 is that they no longer keep secrets from each other (it's their major point of conflict between 2x02 and 2x04, after all). it's easily deduced that this stems from his life of exclusion, and it's understandable that sam wouldn't want dean to keep secrets from him now that they've evolved their relationship into codependency. and now that dean has abandoned his duty for sam, dean can eschew the life of secrets and exclusion he's been both knowingly and unknowingly implicit in up until now.
so if molly is sam, then dean telling molly the truth seems to indicate an olive branch of sorts. it's an indication that even if he doesn't want to, dean will tell sam the truth—he's fully committed to the relationship, especially after born under a bad sign where he reasserts his commitment to sam above all else. i think it's a nice symbolic gesture to indicate his character growth. the honeymoon phase that takes place between hunted and what is and what should never be do a lot to explore how their relationship can grow in weirdly positive ways that we really don't see again until like—god, like season 10, and their only barrier to bliss for this stretch of time is sam's all-encompassing existential angst trying to pull them apart (unsuccessfully so, until all hell breaks loose).
but all that said, i think the way truths and lies are explored in roadkill are indicators not only of their own personal developments, but also their developments with each other. molly functions as the conduit through which sam is explored—both dean's relationship to sam and sam's relationship to himself. she reveals what sam fears and what sam values, and she showcases how time has passed for sam and dean and what that time has done for them. sam has learned the necessity of a lie, but he keeps his lies as close to the truth as possible, laced in obfuscation and omission. dean has learned the value of the truth, at least when it comes to his brother, and even if he knows it's dangerous and stupid to tell the truth he will put himself out there anyway, for sam's sake.
i don't know. i think it's interesting.
#supernatural#spn2.16#spn1.08#spn1.21#the interesting thing about writing supernatural meta is that it's very hard for me to just write about sam OR dean#i always have to compare them to one another as they occupy the same axis of conflict#and i think that speaks to how entangled they are as characters: you can't have one without the other#and if something happens to sam it equally happens to dean and vice versa. because they're two halves of a whole#all that to say i had started out this post intending to only write about sam's development as it pertains to lies#but as i wrote i realized i would be posting a half-finished work if i did so. it's important to compare dean's relationship to lies too#because sam's relationship to lies is intrinsically linked to dean's. they grow together always and they are inextricable from each other#fascinating stuff. sorry if the post is a bit rambling because of that though#spn posting#spn2#.txt
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