#sam you are so important to me
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for bingo: what about sam !!
first bisexual transgender autistic dog whos also a milf
never ask a woman her age, a man his salary, and tumblr user pikaflute on what her opinions are on men (dogs) who wear suits. it will always end like this.
i like sam. hes funny and cutie. i liked max at first because self recognition through the other but sam is really fucking funny. he's an asshole too but he's also a sweetheart. i know he wants to be a cool noir detective and he practices his one liners in the mirror before he has breakfast. he's infodumping to max about something that he made up and max is like "is that true?" and sam is like "sure is little buddy (lying)!"
he's really good in season 3. skunkape im gonna need that remaster so my switch can have no storage space after i take 500 pictures of sam in 303. this image specifically has made me sick.
i do think someone needs to be punished for putting my pookie booboo bear through season 3 though. no reason why he had to be through those events and to make him suffer. what if he was loved, by me. what if he got to take a nap or something. maybe a kiss or two. he deserved to go more angry too. he was being hurt all season and deserve to like beat more people up. #TRUTH!
anyway fat guys RULE! i have selfshipped with him. its how i roll. love wins and all that. babygirls in suits 4eva.
#sam you are so important to me#he is so babygirl and i need to let this 50 year old bisexual know im here for him
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#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr meme#hsr firefly#hsr Sam#i headcanon her as genderfluid#i think it's very important that everyone notice that the dice have “FUCK YOU” written instead of 20#hoyoverse you have canonical they/thems so PLEASE let me have a she/him#I'm BEGGING you
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in your own time, a Good Omens fanfic by @ineffabildaddy
Aziraphale and Crowley grew up together as next-door neighbours on Hogback Lane, classmates at the local Catholic school, and inseparable best friends. By the age of eighteen, both were hopelessly in love with the other, despite the knowledge that they were doomed to live apart, as Crowley aimed to pursue university study in London and Aziraphale committed himself to remaining in Tadfield, dedicating his life to the Church. After almost twenty years spent away from his hometown, renowned botanist Crowley decides to come and visit Tadfield again at a moment's notice; the purpose of his visit is to speak at a Careers Day for the school he and Aziraphale, now a beloved priest and a frequent helper at the school, attended. The twenty-four hours that follow will change both of their lives for ever.
Read the fic here, and check out my rec here
#Yes folks it IS favoritism!#HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!!!!!!#This quote is so personally important to me#you know why <3#good omens fanfic#good omens fic rec#good omens fanfiction#fic cover#in your own time#ineffabildaddy
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guy who so desperately tries to find god. who wants to have faith in a higher authority to guide him out of the hole he's in. from the weight of guilt from simply existing, as the person he is. but every time he thinks he's answered his higher calling it turns out he's made the Morally Incorrect choice and his path to goodness and holiness was the road to the devil all along
#now trusting god will give you a way out? there's your real crime!!!#guy betrayed by the protestant promise of a direct connection with god. but is also somehow. joan of arc.#see he never achieves actual martyrdom tho bc he's not allowed to stay dead lmaooo#sam somehow the most unintentionally catholic AND protestant character of all time#dean the atheist who sees religious predestination as the curse it is from the get go. framed as the narrative's Real Moral Authority#but also in the process reifying patriarchal familial power n authority. very very important Value of the Church#i don't think it's that deep. the show's attempt at critiquing christianity. but the way it reinforces christian cultural values???#'religious predestination and absolute faith in a higher authority...bad'#nice nice ok tell me more?#“so you should put your faith in family. in your patriarch (big brother)”#?????????#the thematic incoherence of it all. it's like the world's stupidest puzzle box to me. i can't leave it alone.#sam = maybe i can find god thru following my destined path. wait oh shit.#cas = maybe i can find god thru rebellion and seeking my own destiny. wait oh shit.#dean = god is fucking dead and me i also feel not so good#the “guy who so desperately wants to find god parallel” <- me coming out as a secret sastiel fan#both of them...finding god in de-[sniper on the roof kills me in one shot]#spn bible studies#j.txt
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2024 nhl global series finland game 1 postgame interview | 11.1.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#sam reinhart#florida panthers#2425#CRYING INTO MY HANDS#THEYRE SO SILLY#the things we do to make our captain giggle#finland trip also known as how can we make the finns giggle trip#he heard “lundell” out of a string of finnish and went oh i know that word!#the smartest kitty indeed#“yeah keep going” SASHA GET HIM!!!!!#wants to play with the big dogs let him play!#before we know it he'll also be saying kiitos into the mic like erod#canadians and their emotional support finn#very important#sashas giggles are so important to me#he thinks reino is funny reino you are charming him#unfortunately sashas type is bumbling foreigner huh#theres a pattern here
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in honor of the Sam BA 🫡📣 idk what to do with myself
#rising from the dead for sam collins? you bet!#what the fuck. what the fuck . w#oh my god#do you feel me? oh my god#it deserves more than doodles. can i draw stuff from the ba like legally idk#okau ill drink waterand stop tagging this so much#redacted audio#redacted asmr#brainz oc tag#digital art#fanart#art#artists on tumblr#digital artist#redacted darlin#redacted sam#im rlly sick rn it just felt too important not to post something to commemorate i love sam so much
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HELLO DEAR if you're still taking prompts i would love to see the gremlins and "kisses to shut them up" LMAO..... i imagine they both do this quite a lot they're idiots supréme ahsgskfgh <33
EEEEEE HI MOON sorry for the long wait for this one!! Now that all the holidays and birthdays at my house are pretty much over I finally have time to sketch up some answers for some asks that have been waiting way too long and I’m so happy to get yours out there first!!! :Dc here it is myehehheeeh this was an extremely fitting prompt
Sam knows exactly what tf he’s doing lmaooooo. Probably it just backfires on Max bc Sam decides to sing something even sappier hhflzjgkhsjdhssbjffhbd
#your honor they’re very important to me 🥺#and they are so so so so sosososoo important to each other. god I'm so normal abt them#more ask responses to come hehe!! so if you sent one a while back and didn't get a response get ready >:)#sam and max#sam and max freelance police#freelance husbands#asks#my art
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gonna finish my re-watch of Gravity Falls (almost got through the entirety of it all just yesterday, but I have like 1/4 of s2 left bc I got tired) so uhh hey how about you send in some gravity falls asks/doodle requests that I’ll get to either while I watch or after I finish 🥺
#doctorsiren#not art#siren speaks#this show is majorly important to me#it’s one of the reasons I even wanted to go into the animation field in the first place#very influential to 2014 me#little baby Sam haha#ALSO#my dreams last night were FILLED with bill cipher so if I start talking not like myself. you know what happened…/silly
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thinking about the comparisons of Sam to John and the revenge shit is what really gets me because like. John raised his kids as hunters because he lost himself in his grief over Mary dying and obsession with revenge. Sam almost lost himself to it too at the end of season 1 (he would have if he shot John), but he stops himself because his alive family is more important to him than revenge for Jessica (the big difference between him and john!).
In contrast, when Dean dies in season 3 Sam doesn't have anything left but the revenge. His brother is dead and there's nothing he can do. That's when he loses himself and lets the want to kill Lilith take over. The powerlessness he felt when Dean was going to hell and confirmation that he could do nothing was what Ruby needed to get him hooked on that demon blood, too. This is similar to how John became hooked on hunting Azazel, but is also a more literal addiction (demon blood addiction as a metaphor for Sam's revenge quest, anyone?). Just like in season 1, Sam is paralleling his father here.
However! I believe it's at least a little bit of an unfair comparison to make. Sam's circumstances were a lot worse than John's with Ruby spurring him on (and the actual addiction to the blood). Plus, he didn't have a responsibility to his family like John did until after Dean got back. When that happened he did continue what he was doing, but at that point he was already hooked on demon blood/in too deep with Ruby anyways. He was also convinced he was already unclean! At most he thought he could use it to kill Lilith, right?
Also, Sam's obsession was much further along than John's when the opportunity came to put revenge over family (since Dean had once again. Been dead.). I'm not saying he didn't fuck it up, he 100% did! He betrayed Dean's trust and made a HUGE error in judgement, no matter how sympathetic I am towards him
(Not denying this is a Sam defense post! But I also have enough media literacy to understand that even when I love and am defending a character, that doesn't mean they did nothing wrong. I'm saying Sam is a better person than John was, not that)
Anyways, this betrayal still isn't comparable to John, who started out with two very young children to take care of from the beginning! He doesn't have the excuse of his obsession developing or getting in too deep while his family wasn't around like Sam does. Also, for all the shit Sam's addiction causes, he at least doesn't force Dean into it. This is as opposed to John, who raised his kids to be hunters too!
Anyways Sam, when in his right mind (not an addict being manipulated!), knows to choose his family over the revenge. When he doesn't, it's because he's a victim of severe, completely different circumstances. John Winchester left his normal life for the sake of revenge while he had two kids in the backseat. For all the similarities between John and Sam, despite the many many parallels and connections of their stories, that's the big, important difference between them. That's what matters
#I'll be a Sam defender till the day I die#And a John hater#They have so many parallels#But I want to make this distinction clear#Also demon blood arc my beloved#It's so important to me#Analyzing it is so fun#😍#Please don't read this mutual. You know who you are.#I think too hard about things sometimes :)#That it#supernatural#Sam Winchester#John Winchester#Spn#spn analysis#Spn season 4#anti john winchester#Fuck that guy
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I've had this theory for a while now, and me n my friend (@nightshadetq ) have talked about it a bit as The Magnus Protocol continues, but I really don't think Alice's indifference to the paranormal/statements/cases ect ect is proof that she like. Has no idea what's going on, or will be in for a rude awakening.
[Note: this post is not free from spoilers up to episode 18]
I think she knows a decent amount of what's actually going on, and is trying to protect Sam (or her uninformed coworkers in general) from getting in too deep.
Other than Lena, who I assume has been the boss since Alice arrived, Alice has worked at the OIAR the longest, "nearly a decade" and has consistently told Sam not to look into anything, to not be curious, and to just do his job, and those moments are when she is the most serious, an odd departure from her typical attitude, very likely a coping or defense mechanism (or survival tactic) on her part.
We also have how she and Colin interact, and her conversation with Teddy in the most recent episode (18 as of writing). While yes, her and Colin's unlikely duo could be in part simply a fun dynamic, grumpy/sunshine, whatever, but we also don't really know what has happened within the last near decade of Alice working at the OIAR. The only person Colin likes is Alice, perhaps because she's the only one he trusts, or maybe they went through something together, that's mostly speculation on my part I'll admit.
What's more interesting is Alice and Teddy's conversation, the weight of Alice calling Teddy a liar, her saying to herself for Teddy to "watch himself" because she's worried. I would point out we have no idea how long Teddy worked at the OIAR, though in episode one there's a mention of "another four years" which implies he's worked there about that amount of time, and so Alice had still worked there the longest.
Honestly it would be weird if Alice hadn't seen weird shit pre-canon given how long she's been there, and that despite the jobs turnover rate hasn't quit despite everything, almost like she's obligated, to the job perhaps not, but maybe to the other people working, given we know that people can and have quit. Of course it could also just be the getting a new job is difficult and she has a younger brother to help out occasionally, but truthfully I find it a bit difficult to believe that being the only reason she wouldn't have quit by now.
Also interesting that the only thing Alice said in response to Gwen talking about Mr. Bonzo, where Sam laughs and thinks she's joking, is after she leaves saying "Curiosity will get you killed, best try and ignore it" wherein Alice clowning on Gwen is what I, at the least, would expect in response. Yes, she questions Gwen interacting with monsters, but she doesn't push her to talk about it, and in fact, gave her an out on what the Externals are.
Considering both Gwen and Sam didn't know about them until 1. Gwen asking Lena to let her "in" and getting work about/for the Externals, and 2. Sam just now being informed. Meanwhile Alice has a fake explanation on what they are, providing Sam with said explanation, therefore shielding him from the truth of the matter, and letting Gwen not have to talk about it, only for Gwen to then say what they actually are. So either Alice already knew what an External was, and lives by the "if you don't know about the real goings on nothing will happen to you" deal and tries to act the part herself, or someone who no longer works at the OIAR AND worked with Externals told her that that was what they were, which I'll admit is also a possibility.
There is also her seeing the drowning victim and her reaction to them. Her primary issue as I remember it was the dead body, given how she implies she hadn't seen a dead body since her parents passed. However, her having a negative reaction to a dead body doesn't mean she hasn't seen other freak shit. There is also the option that she lied about not having seen a dead body since her parents, and she (rightfully) still has an averse reaction to them, though I don't necessarily believe this myself, I am presenting it as an option.
Maybe I'm talking out my ass, but I really don't think Alice has completely avoided everything up until now, especially given how weirdly cagey she is about anyone (mainly Sam, but they have a history so maybe she feels responsible for him in some way) getting curious about what they do, or wanting to look into the cases they receive. If she didn't know anything at all, I don't know why she'd care about someone getting curious about their cases, or at least care as much as she seems to.
#the magnus protocol#tmp#the magnus protocol spoilers#tmp spoilers#tmp theory#the magnus protocol theory#alice dyer#sam khalid#gwen bouchard#lena kelley#colin becher#teddy vaughn#ghost listens to horror podcasts#dude i really think alice knows SOMETHING#i gen cant believe shes just been in the dark the whole time#and i dont wanna bring up tma and how things worked in it#but i think it is a bit important to note that while yes most of then worked at the archives for a while#i dont think any of them worked there for nearly a decade pre canon#to me at least they all read as mid 20s#whereas alice herself is in her mid 30s#ik bc i did the math#so i dont think comparing jon to alice in this instance as mcs really works#i dont think comparing any of them really works bc theyre their own characters but thats whatever#also wayyyy too much of how alice acts is more defense mechanism and i want me and my friends to live#rather than jons i refuse to believe in the supernatural until its thrust in my face#alice is much more 'best leave well enough alone' as a survival tactic#likely because shes seen what happens when you dont leave well enough alone#anywayyyy thats enough of me rambling teehee#im so sorry this post is so long#its comedic
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i am not anti sam but i sometimes find myself hating sam because some samgirls are super into bio/gender essentialism whether or not they realize it. sam is a woman and dean is a man and sam is the victim and dean is his abuser like what show are you watching?
#as much as we all like to have fun these are two cis men characters who have roles to play in the narrative they don’t escape#they are both being abused. we find this out *fully* in s14#but it’s always been present. this is the abuse sam and dean winchester show#but some of y’all don’t actually understand abuse! you think abuse is just being mean and yelling#‘sam is a woman because his autonomy is taken away’ your idea of womanhood is fucked up and you should unpack that#if you compare sam to a woman because he’s been SA’d then you are WEIRD. they are both men canonically getting SAd????#like yes dean has some weird stuff about his own gender that he needs to unpack but it’s part of a mask?? like if u genuinely#believe that he seriously 100% believes this stuff then you don’t know his character at all#and yes their relationship is toxic but if you think for one second that there’s a genuine power imbalance then you’re sorely mistaken#dean’s entire identity is based around taking care of sam. sam can do wrong but not enough to be truly held accountable#it doesn’t matter what he does. dean will always protect him and be there and do whatever it takes to save him. he will always forgive him#and sam knows this and uses it to his advantage. he repeatedly goes behind dean’s back and avoids the communication he says is so important#he blames dean for shit that isn’t his fault because he’s there#and no he may not fight dean on stuff but he can. he often doesn’t because he doesn’t want to!#they enable each other and they don’t grow because they can’t because there’s always something else BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH BEING ABUSED BY GOD#they’re not allowed to take a break. they’re not allowed to slow down or stop or rethink it’s always the end of the world#so yes some of y’all annoy me with the ‘i wish dean was nicer in the midst of his trauma’#shit or saying that therapy fixes everything stuff or whatever#and the fact that so many of y’all use that to treat sam like some fragile white woman who can’t#have an opinion without her husband’s permission is WEIRD like your gender stuff is weird#and just repacked essentialism onto them. idc if you’re trans. unpack that shit cuz your meta is full#of rad fem friendly or adjacent shit if you refuse to talk about gender without using abuse as an argument#because that does not hold up in canon of these two FICTIONAL MEN!!! or in the real world#(edit: most of the stuff i see is by cis women but im saying ‘idc if ur trans’ bc it’s not exclusive to them)#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#wank adjacent#maybe just straight up#fandom wank
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Oh I was just haunted by jmah!Dream’s deteriorating mental state
:C my BOYYY
and it's awful, too, because it's not like Dream is in a particularly good state of mind when the prison starts in the first place. and he's in here because he's terrified (and he's in here as punishment) and he's in here because even though Sam hates him--and he's ensured that Sam hates him, and he's planning to do more to make sure of that fact as well (in canon, c!Dream is talking to c!Sam 'all about exile' in those first few days)--Sam will do his job. he trusts him to do his job. he knows Sam, the man that he's worked with for the last month on this project, on making sure this prison is as secure as it can possibly be, one of the final few people to work with him before the events of the green festival, doomsday, staged finale etc. made sure he'd stand alone, just where he was supposed to. this is a Dream that's already been swimming in the lava before Sam travels back in time.
unlike Sam's betrayal in canon, there's nothing slow about what happens in JMAH. there's no ability for him to cope and go yeah, Sam's being kind of serious, but it's no big deal, yeah, this place kind of sucks, but it's survivable, yeah, there's some mistreatment, but I expected that. in an instant, Sam goes from a predictable cog in the machine meant to keep him alive into a stranger hellbent on torturing the fuck out of him, and he has no idea why. Sam is nowhere near as straightforward as Quackity in explaining what the hell he wants out of Dream--he asks for the book, sure, but also for information, also for complete obedience, also for explanations for things he shouldn't know and punishments for things he never did. there is no promise that the revive book will end anything, for this Dream, and no one to give him anything at all but the Warden.
just ,, the lengths to which this Sam is willing to go, the intensity of his obsession, the way he'd be left reeling with no choice other than to endure and wonder why breaks my heart. Dream has no fucking clue to what end this is all for, and i think he struggles a lot with that. worse than just the torture, perhaps, is the familiarity, the sparks of something that is almost fondness, the satisfaction in Sam's voice when he's gotten something and Dream isn't even sure what he's just given away--and maybe it'd be easier to understand if what Sam wanted from him were any more straightforward, if the desire could pan out as something as simple as sadistic pleasure at hurting him or deriving some kind of gratification from making him submit or wanting power or to eliminate a threat or anything, but all that is clear is that Sam wants something from him and will stop at nothing to get it.
c!Dream and identity is already a finicky thing as well as his whole complex about himself and evil--c!Dream thinks he's a person that does evil things to achieve good ends, but he struggles pretty heavily, honestly, with himself-as-evil and being viewed as evil-and-just-evil and actually being the tyrant-villain-monster-snake-that-just-bites, etc, which means that there is a level of vulnerability here when it comes to how he sees himself and builds his identity and the constant, relentless onslaught of . pain and torture combined with Sam justifying it all by Who He Is Innately and monologuing about how he deserves it all, because c!Dream isn't a person that doesn't think that punishment as a concept is wrong and doesn't necessarily disagree that he's evil either. and again. torture self harm box of mental illness. and part of the problem with a Sam that's fresh from Daedalus and then thrust into kind of the worst possible position of reflecting on those conversations by being in a place where he's able to fall hard on old habits to copium his way out of dealing with anything he personally might have done (because obviously he can just Fix It Now) while also having the additional cope of i-am-godsent-to-make-everything-better BY keeping dream in a box, you kind of get a situation where both Dream and Sam are psychologically in pretty vulnerable places and then you're taking a torture machine hammer to those stress points. so it's fun.
i have no clue if that last paragraph made any kind of sense btw.
but ... yeah. even for any character in any kind of state the insane torture contraption of torture efficiency would be. erm. extremely damaging to one's mental health, to say the least. the only good thing for dream i guess is that sam still has his head too far up his own ass to actually git gud at conditioning anyone deliberately and is therefore still largely skating by By Accident, because otherwise his head would've been even more blendered than it already gets.
#just me and him au#my asks !!#of course his head already sucks ass so#i think re: the prison arc c!Dream had a lot of vulnerabilities that i don't think he or sam or quackity or whatever like. recognized#because in general people's perception of c!dream didn't tend to match up very well with who the guy actually was#for reasons including his own complete lack of self awareness and how deeply delusional people tended to be about him always#but that being said. like. i think it's important to remember that for all that daedalus gives us insight on what c!dream sees#as like. good and evil#he's still very sure of his being evil. and visibly struggles with that later in the finale and snake speech#being sure of his actions and the ends justifying the means by no means translates into confidence in his own identity#c!dream tends to be sure of what he has to do. who he is? not so much#(versus c!sam's DELUSIONAL ASS confidence in Who He Is and Who Dream Is and how that informs EVERYTHINGGGG)#c!dream is who he needs to be and in the right circumstances that means you can make him who you need him to be#i think that sam and dream's issues can be in certain situations much more compatible than people realize sometimes#and it's in those situations where you get the worst kind of feedback loops for both characters.for sure
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What's your opinion on the take that Sam is always running away?
ooh oh my goodness this is. complicated.
I think before even getting into the actual canon events, the real issue that I personally have with it is that, when people say it (including dean), it's usually predicated on the idea that sam did not grow up in an abusive environment / did not experience as much abuse as dean which has little-to-no canonical proof. this directly relates to both flagstaff (he's trying to escape an abusive environment where he doesn't feel taken care of) and stanford (he's literally just going to college !), where people think he had ""no reason"" to want to leave or that he ""abandoned"" dean
in terms of on-screen events I think "always" is untrue and honestly unfair. the only two times I can think of that can be actually defined as "running away" would be flagstaff, since that's the legal definition what happened, even if I don't blame him for it at all, and post-s7/pre-s8 when sam himself says that he just "ran" from real-life and the memories of dean. I don't think that constitutes saying that he factually "always runs away." to me, any other examples that people like to use don't really hold up - in 04x21, he's not running away, just killing lilith without dean (who could be considered an active threat to sam after the panic room) and in 05x03, they mutually decided it would be better for sam (a recovering addict) to step away (additionally, sam immediately calling dean when he finds out that he's lucifer's vessel seems to show the opposite of running away imo and a willingness to do what needs to be done)
I think it really comes down to the fact that leaving dean or leaving a dangerous situation does not equal running away, even if dean thinks that. and the popularization of this take seems to stem from the narrative bias in dean's favor and how the audience is mostly restricted to dean's narratively justified despair/anger while sam's emotions aren't explained (see: 05x16 when dean gets a whole long moment about flagstaff and why he's upset about it, but sam doesn't get to explain why he left in the first place.)
anyways. overall, I understand where it comes from, since dean does use that language in relation to sam, but I dislike it and I think it's a very limited take that vilifies sam for simply having autonomy / the desire to make his own choices, even if they don't involve his family and/or dean
#also I think it's important to recognize that sam's instances of running away are trauma responses#both examples come from a place of abuse or recent death / complete isolation and are more examples of sam trying to find a way to survive#rather than a purposeful or malicious escapement of responsibility#thank you so much for the ask ! it was so fun to get and made me feel very cool :)#I hope this was sufficient / answered your ask <3#star notes#sw#💌
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“dean's extremely controlling of sam & calls in question sam's rationality to make decisions for himself” And “all of dean's bigger decisions are severally influenced by sam & he's the one person he listens to his call consistently esp whenever it's something consequential to dean and the universe” both concepts that can co-exist
dean did what he believed to doom the earth three times to listen to sam (not saying yes to Michael, killing death, not caging Michael deep in the ocean) he didn't kill jack on sight and gave him a chance when sam told him to which, given dean's history, was a big step for him. sure dean was harsh with jack but just not killing him immediately was a major shift for dean. he was dead set on killing jack after he killed their mom but one of the key factors that made him hesitate was seeing how it'd upset sam his first moments of faltering happen when sam runs to him, pleading not to go through with it. sam's influence often sways him in moments of great conflict and ultimately the chuck thing at the finale. If all of these heavily dean-centered conflicts where dean changed course at the last minute seem insignificant to his character including two possible apocalypses and a world order shifting anomaly (also supposedly inconsequential to him and the universe) then idk man
you don't need to trivialize sam’s impact—which has been a huge part of dean's decision-making throughout to highlight the rigid and irrational desire for control that manifests in dean about sam. Nuance exists for a reason
#I'm sorry you can't talk about the toxicity of samdean's relationship without flagrantly dismissing sam's importance altogether#but it's kinda redundant Bc then we get ppl who genuinely think dean listens/values everyone but sam#these are all story-altering character-defining decisions bc each of them had the most spotlight on dean so if these are inconsequential#please tell me what dean choices that were more important to him and he felt as centered and strong about as these wrt to himself#mine#spn meta#dean winchester#sam winchester#these 2 dynamics—dean's control over sam and sam's sway over dean's decisions—are not contradictory rather coexist in a complex relationshi
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there's a somewhat subtle but notable development i've noticed in sam between seasons 1 and 2, in that he becomes much more willing to lie to the people he's trying to help—he starts finding lies a practical necessity and the truth about the supernatural as something to avoid in polite society.
in bugs, sam urges matt to tell his father about the curse, make him understand the severity, while dean instructs him to lie his ass off so his father will get the hell out of the house. this episode favors dean here: larry obviously doesn't buy the curse story, and it's proven to sam that the truth can in fact be more harmful than a lie.
then by salvation, sam seems to have integrated into himself that lying is necessary: when he proposes that they tell monica and her husband the truth, that a demon is coming for their baby, it's a joke. dean registers this joke with a sardonic grin and sam instantly agrees this is a Bad Idea. he's learned from his mistakes.
the development across season 1 is, here, that lying is necessary for them to do their job. people don't believe in supernatural phenomena, at least not insofar as it pertains to themselves, and they'd sooner get arrested than do any actual saving of the day.
case in point.
all this to say i think roadkill is an interesting episode. much of the conflict between sam and dean centers around what information to disseminate to molly, what she should know and what she shouldn't. they go back and forth trying to figure this out, often unprepared for her questions and hiding the truth in obfuscations and white lies. neither of them are so cruel as to tell her anything blatantly false, but neither of them are willing to tell her the full, unadorned truth.
sam has learned his lesson: he keeps everything he tells her in the realm of plausible deniability, refracted through layers of half-truths that don't actually tell molly anything about her situation. even though he is the one who outright proposes that they tell her the truth, he is the one who, surprisingly, ends up telling her the least.
instead dean is the one who offers up the most blatant truths throughout most of the episode. in this sequence, sam even resists the truth, still convinced that obfuscation is what will further their goals most. the truth will make people think they're crazy, it'll get in the way of doing their job. he's not wrong, either:
and until the end of the episode, he continues to bury the full truth and speaks in roundabout ways to keep it from her.
many such examples.
anyway, what i also find interesting about this is that while sam commits to this lesson he learned in season 1, dean is rather forthcoming about the truth. clearly he doesn't like the idea of telling molly what's going on, but he's still quite often the one to offer up a plain, truthful explanation over sam's much nicer obfuscations. which is a little strange, considering he is the one who typically pressures sam into lying and constantly reminds him of the value in lies. not that dean has never cut the crap and offered up the truth—there are plenty of episodes where he does just that—but since a major conflict of this episode centers around this point of contention and since dean has already expressed his unwillingness to tell molly the truth, i can't help but raise an eyebrow.
what this episode also does, however, is parallel molly and sam. similar to maggie in playthings, molly is a monster by circumstance, lonely and afraid. she functions as an allegory for sam as his destiny develops and his fears about his impending doom heighten, and when sam speaks to her he is also speaking to himself, about himself.
ultimately, i think this indicates a development on dean's part, as well. after croatoan and hunted, dean has no more secrets to keep from sam, and he's chosen him as his codependent life partner. more or less, he's "taking responsibility for himself" by abandoning his duty and devoting himself entirely to sam. and sam values the truth: he's resistant to lying to civilians about the supernatural and only reluctantly gives up after a full season of grappling with it, and when it comes to his brother one of the first demands he makes of dean in season 2 is that they no longer keep secrets from each other (it's their major point of conflict between 2x02 and 2x04, after all). it's easily deduced that this stems from his life of exclusion, and it's understandable that sam wouldn't want dean to keep secrets from him now that they've evolved their relationship into codependency. and now that dean has abandoned his duty for sam, dean can eschew the life of secrets and exclusion he's been both knowingly and unknowingly implicit in up until now.
so if molly is sam, then dean telling molly the truth seems to indicate an olive branch of sorts. it's an indication that even if he doesn't want to, dean will tell sam the truth—he's fully committed to the relationship, especially after born under a bad sign where he reasserts his commitment to sam above all else. i think it's a nice symbolic gesture to indicate his character growth. the honeymoon phase that takes place between hunted and what is and what should never be do a lot to explore how their relationship can grow in weirdly positive ways that we really don't see again until like—god, like season 10, and their only barrier to bliss for this stretch of time is sam's all-encompassing existential angst trying to pull them apart (unsuccessfully so, until all hell breaks loose).
but all that said, i think the way truths and lies are explored in roadkill are indicators not only of their own personal developments, but also their developments with each other. molly functions as the conduit through which sam is explored—both dean's relationship to sam and sam's relationship to himself. she reveals what sam fears and what sam values, and she showcases how time has passed for sam and dean and what that time has done for them. sam has learned the necessity of a lie, but he keeps his lies as close to the truth as possible, laced in obfuscation and omission. dean has learned the value of the truth, at least when it comes to his brother, and even if he knows it's dangerous and stupid to tell the truth he will put himself out there anyway, for sam's sake.
i don't know. i think it's interesting.
#supernatural#2.16#1.08#1.21#the interesting thing about writing supernatural meta is that it's very hard for me to just write about sam OR dean#i always have to compare them to one another as they occupy the same axis of conflict#and i think that speaks to how entangled they are as characters: you can't have one without the other#and if something happens to sam it equally happens to dean and vice versa. because they're two halves of a whole#all that to say i had started out this post intending to only write about sam's development as it pertains to lies#but as i wrote i realized i would be posting a half-finished work if i did so. it's important to compare dean's relationship to lies too#because sam's relationship to lies is intrinsically linked to dean's. they grow together always and they are inextricable from each other#fascinating stuff. sorry if the post is a bit rambling because of that though#spn posting#spn2#.txt
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