#salt and bone rpg

[farfromdaylight]

OH I AM SORRY somehow i completely did not see that you had already answered some of these lmao. anyway have some more: 9, 16, 20, 21

NO NO i got a bunch at the same time and answered them together, you just happened to double up! not ur fault at all. THANK U FOR SENDING MORE, i shall tl;dr below!

9: worst part of canon

god i could answer this for so many series, i am always full of salt about Bad Canon.

can i say "most of zero time dilemma?" i know this isn't final fantasy but oh my god, what the fuck was uchikoshi smoking on this one. i thought it was okay but not great when i played through it the first time. when @shepherdtostars played through the series she streamed VLR and ZTD for me and man, ZTD does not fucking hold up lol. like all three games have their low points (especially in gameplay/mechanics/traversal but i'm solely speaking about story here). ZTD's conclusion to the series is fucking stupid at best.

to be slightly more on topic, i have not thought dirge of cerberus was good since i was a teenager with no taste and no understanding of Decent Storytelling and Characterization. (and even then i could recognize some shit was garbage, lmao.)

16: you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

my gut answer for this is zenos, lmao. i think @anneapocalypse summed up a lot of it in her similar response (i'm on mobile rn or i'd link). i think zenos is fine in stormblood itself and his ultimate ending at the close of 4.0 is fantastically done, ties together the narrative themes, etc.

i don't feel that way about endwalker. i don't think it's earned. i struggle with it to the point that i am going to replay stormblood (i haven't replayed it since 2020) and really dig into how i feel about it for my wol's story, then extrapolate from there for an ending that makes sense for endwalker. like i'm genuinely stuck on my 80% complete endwalker fic due to The Zenos Problem.

here's the thing, i don't hate his character trope? ennui is fine for a villain motivation and it ties into the themes of uncaring imperalism that stormblood puts forward. by contrast, i really disliked how zenos carried forward after that in the story. fandaniel didn't work for me. EW zenos didn't work for me. i have no desire to replay endwalker but i've reread and rewatched the scenes enough that i don't think it'll ever really work for me.

which is fine. i know i'm supposed to be choosing violence in this meme but it's fine that This Specific Storyline didn't click. there's a lot else i like instead.

20: part of canon you found tedious or boring

FF14 is too easy an answer for this. I love the game but it has some dead boring story and gameplay structure for MSQ. i have nothing against the character (i thought she was fine) but "speak with wuk lamat" illustrates the problem perfectly no matter how you feel about her. you need variance in the actual gameplay of telling your story, or it becomes too obvious to the player.

it works fine in visual novels and in many ways FF14 is very similar to that medium, but... it's not. it's a RPG. FF14 can't really do much of interest with this kind of thing due to the nature of its setup. i don't expect the kind of genuine exploration and discovery you get in other RPGs from it because it's linear by design. but please hide the bones of the structure so i can focus on enjoying the game.

21: part of canon you think is overhyped

final fantasy vii rebirth dev. square enix

lmao.

i really wish i'd liked it. in so many ways i should have liked it. it clearly, CLEARLY worked for many people. but it didn't work for me. remake was solidly middle of the road, but rebirth? good god, what is nojima smoking these days. why is aerith singing. why is zack here. what the fuck is that ending.

sigh.

[titleknown]

Show of hands, but like, am I the only one who inexplicably gets a minor twinge of hatred whenever Spike shows up in a Mario Sports/Party game?

Like, my salt that they refuse to put any stuff from the RPGs in there like Mr Miyamoto has a gun to their head aside, I usually like most of the regular enemy characters they add. Dry Bones, Ninji, Chomp, love those dudes.

But meanwhile fucking Spike, I hate him so much! He's like, the hentai ugly-bastard of Mario enemies if you get me...

[subiysu-chan]

Do you have any more elven lore I don't know about?

A lot !

Here is my anvil page:

My elves are slender, graceful and androgynous (on human standards) creatures, with hallow bones, well adapted to both flight and cursoriality. They look like the typical elves. They have races, in a way similar to humans...Kind of. They live around 250 years, but the Drow have a significantly shorter, more human life-span due to the frequent eating of chronic-pain causing organisms as the only source of quick sugar, salt and vitamin C. They are extremely pale, black-haired with big eyes and ears. The ice elves have a darker skin tone and are usually blond with brown, narrow eyes and smaller ears.

They reproduce sexually.

My elves are...They reach puberty around age 20, and only the eldest son and the eldest son of a couple are fertile, and they tend to be monogamous. The wings painfully pop out during this time, and the process is nightmarish. At a certain stage, the youth becomes blind and insane as the pre-frontal cortex and parts of the brain responsable for processing visual information are put to sleep as to conserve energy, but they constantly want to eat, and there stomach adjust to being able to process more meat. Once the wings have popped out, they return to their intelligent, fungivorous selves, but now with wings that need sun or moonlight to develop properly. They look a bit like insect wings, but there is a single pair and there very mammalian cartilage (that would eventually ossify) and veins are visible. The pain is extremely intense, and they need a lot of food and water during this time, and some may not survive the process, mostly due to dehydration. Wings are not only a mode of reproduction for elves, but also a secondary sexual characteristic, with males having long narrow wings for endurent flying and females having rounder, slightly concave wings for powerful sore, making them better suited to fly with their potencial future children. My elves are immune to several alcoloids (but not all of them) and mycotoxins, but cafeine is to them a deadly poison. A few sips of coffee is enough to kill a grown elf. They cannot digest starch and can only process small quantities of fat. To them, mushrooms, berries and arthropods are the most bio-available sources of food.

[eruvadhril]

A collection of signare and vestigia as described in the Rivers of London RPG character stat blocks

Peter: " This is where things get complicated. Nightingale’s tick-tock precision is there, but after that, it’s all over the place—music, laughter, the smell of chocolate, images of London—and, blimey, is it loud! So loud, in fact, that it hides what spell he’s cueing up, meaning an adversary can’t make a Magic skill roll to determine what spell he’s about to fling at them. “

Nightingale: “ A clockwork tick, the smell of willow, and a whispering clash like the sound of cymbals—as heavy as a mallet and as sharp and controlled as the point of a needle. “

Guleed: “ The sound of ripping silk whenever she wields her sword. “

Abigail: “ Hasn’t yet solidified, but you definitely get a little bit of Nightingale’s clockwork orrery mixed with whatever has caught Abigail’s interest in the last few months; plus: fox fur, a blast of cold, and something that might be the opening bars of a popular British talent show’s theme tune.”

Michael Cheung: “ Unsurprisingly, seeing as he’s the one teaching Sahra, the sound of ripping silk when he strikes. “

Varvara: “ The bite of cold metal, something yeasty like bread, and the smell of wet dog. “

Asterid Bivalacqua: “ The burning taste of Scotch bonnet peppers and the fragrance of expensive rum on a warm summer’s evening. “

Beverley: “ A sensation like rain, the sound of boys playing football in the distance, the smell of suburban roses and newly washed cars, evening television flickering through net curtains. “

Father Thames: “ The promise of beer and skittles, walking home on a moonlit night, a warm fireside, amorous company. “

Foxglove: “ Nothing anyone’s been able to put their finger on just yet. “

High Fae: “ Sun-dappled leaves, the smell of damp wool, a flash of arrogance and condescension. “

Tyburn: “ The rope, the crowd, and the final drop into oblivion; the smell of cigars, horses, furniture polish, Stilton, and Belgian chocolate. “

Mama Thames: “ Salt water, coffee, diesel, bananas, chocolate, fish guts. “

Molly: “ Nothing that Peter could remember. “

Quiet People: “ A momentary blast of heat, the smell of the pigsty. “

Vampires: “ Not as such, but tactus disvitae—the smell of antilife, a deep bone-numbing cold. “

[snugglyporos]

D&D Thoughts Update

// Since a bunch of people liked to engage with my thoughts on 5e the other day, and having seen the leaks where Hasbro has decided to become Games Workshop, I figure this is a good time to talk about my views on 5e before a bunch of Hasbro IRS agents come to silence me and demand royalties. 

So, at first I was very confused by 5e for two reasons. One, it was very bare bones. Two, it was oddly confusing in places. Why 6 different saving throws? Why do you have electrum coins at all? Seriously I could go on a rant about how dumb that is, given how they’re described and their place in history. It’s a weird bit of hyperfocus in a game about simplification. 

But then I delved deeper and I realized... this is just 3.5 with a whole lot of content stripped out. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love 3.5. It’s the best edition, imo, because it’s entirely modular, and every d20 based game can be added into it. It’s broken and a bit too confusing, but I like that it’s broken. It’s why I never really jelled with Pathfinder; making D&D3.5 but not broken is like making cookies that taste like salt. Missing the point! 

But when I realized that 5e was just essentially the house rules version of 3.5, to the point that most of the things that were removed weren’t needed, or could be added, I understood it a bit more, and disliked it less. 

Granted, I still don’t like it. 

Two reasons for this. One, the game feels like it’s designed to be played specifically in public settings, where the entire game is boiled down to ‘here are the adventures we prepared for you.’ I didn’t understand why so many people talked about the Curse of Strahd until I realized that it’s basically one of four sets of adventures. 

The other reason is that, well, it’s clearly a game with no ideas of its own. Let me explain. 

1e is extremely hard to play today. 2e can be fun, but it’s weirdly anal about things that most modern players don’t really want to do. 3 and 3.5 are great fun, but they’re rather complex to grapple with. And all of these are unique games made by the original creators, 3.5 being the 3.0 system under new publishers. 

It was clear that WoTC wanted to make a brand new, all unique system with their next edition, which is why 4e is an entirely new and separate thing, for good and for ill. It’s basically MMO the RPG, to the point that you can visualize an ability bar like it’s tabletop World of Warcraft. Nevermind there is a 3.5 series of World of Warcraft books that’s actually pretty good, tbh. 

But 4e is not particularly fun to play? It can be in the same way that other wargaming can be fun to play, where if you’re running with a clear setup it works. But it’s not conducive to freeform playing. 

And with that failure, they made 5e, which feels to me a bit like someone copied someone else’s homework. Like the person who made 5e looked over at the guy who made 3.5e, copied what he could, and claimed it was something new and different. It’s close, but not the same. 

It also doesn’t feel like a game that the development team have much faith in? 5e was released in 2014. So it’s been around a decade, and there is only one monster manual? For contrast, 3.5 has five monster manuals, not including all the new monsters in the various sourcebooks. Or, looking to another series of games, White Wolf put out dozens of sourcebooks for each of their properties, to the point that The Old World of Darkness has like, three hundred individual sourcebooks across eight different games. 

5e does not feel like a game that the developers actually support. It feels like they just wanted to get away from 4e, and make something that would allow them to run games themselves, sorta like how White Wolf has their World of Darkness where individuals who sign up with them can be a part of the wider world, and games can flow into each other. 

Honestly, if they did want to steal White Wolf’s idea, it would make sense that they’re now stealing Games Workshop’s idea and trying to do with D&D what GW did with Warhammer. 

Personally, not sure that’s a great idea. Mostly because D&D didn’t explode until 3rd edition with the introduction of the open d20 license. I’m old enough to remember the time of 2e, and D&D being so restrictive is what led to the creation of things like White Wolf publishing, as well as a dozen other games like Mutants and Masterminds. 

For the record, don’t recommend playing Mutants and Masterminds, as it’s a clusterfuck of a game. Unique, daring, but not one I would play again. 

I think also that D&D has lost a lot of connection with its roots? For good and for ill, tabletop gaming in the 80s and 90s, even in the real early 2000s was very much underground. And that created a lot of unique games and communities. Part of this is how nerd culture is now pop culture, with things like comic book properties being hotter than ever. Like, trying to imagine big name actors wanting to be associated with comic books in the 90s is impossible. Now, there’s hardly an actor who hasn’t been in a comic book property. 

But D&D going corporate means that while it lost the edge lord part of itself (good) it also lost the part that made people like it (bad). D&D the game is giving way to D&D the brand, which is probably a death knell for it as a property, much like how continued bad ideas from the White Wolf guys got it bought out by Paradox, who amazingly have dragged the property back to where it mostly should be. 

But again, you’re talking to someone who remembers the days of Loremaster, Sword and Sorcery, Ars Magica and more. granted I was a child, but as I got older I got an appreciation for them. And I know they wouldn’t have existed if D&D had moved over to the d20 in 2000. 

Remember, before 3rd edition, the d20 system wasn’t used in D&D. and it’s adoption basically wiped out all the competition, who transferred over to it. Removing that means we’re probably in for a new generation of games, assuming they aren’t just made as video games. 

Anyway, those are my thoughts on 5e. And D&D in general.

[exhausted-archivist]

Prepared Ingredients

Updated: 2023/12

As of now this list is updated with everything found in media released as of Oct 2023.

Like the original, this contains all prepared ingredients; butters, cheese, chocolate, dough, flour, jams, ect. If known to a specific region it is marked next to the item in parentheses, if it is not, it is either unknown or universally consumed.

For Other Food Posts

Dishes, Sauces, and Sides

Drinks

Raw Ingredients

Canonically Possible Foods and Drinks

Food and Drink Master Post

Disclaimer

Though real life plants may be listed here as edible, it is for fictional use only. This is not intended to be used as a reference nor guide for what plants are edible or safe to eat. Please do not use it as such.

Basic Ingredients

Alcohol

Brandy

Cinnamon-infused whiskey

Dark Llomerryn Rum

Hirol’s Lava Burst

Prophet’s Laurel Gin

Red Wine

Watered Down Ale

Whiskey

White Seleney Wine

Broth

Deepstalker Broth

Fish Broth

Butters - Non-dairy butters

Peanut Butter

Caramel

Cocoa Products

Chocolate (Orlais, Tevint)

Chocolate Bitters

Cocoa Butter - used to make white chocolate (Orlais)

Cocoa Powder - difficult to procure

White Chocolate (Orlais)

Compote - Fresh or dried fruit that is cut into chunks and stewed in a syrup of sugar and other flavours.

Red Grape Compote (Orlais)

Croutons

Custard

Dough

Pie Dough

Puff Pastry Dough (Orlais)

Extract

Mint Extract

Orange Extract

Vanilla Extract

Flour

Ryott Flour (Chasind, Ferelden)

Semolina Flour (Rivain)

Wheat Flour

Whole Grain Flour

Frosting

Buttercream

Chocolate Cream

White Frosting

Gold

Edible Gold Leaf

Gold Dust

Jam

Plum Jam

Raspberry Jam

Mulled Fruit

Mulled Raspberry

Oil

Cod Liver Oil

Orange Essence

Pasta

Antivan Pasta

Couscous (Rivain)

Gnocchi (Antiva)

Grain-based Noodle

Noodle

Pound Cake

Stock

Brown Stock

Sugar

Brown Sugar

Molasses

Powdered Sugar

Sugar-cream Icing

Sugar Flowers

Sugared Rose Petals

Syrup

Sugar Syrup

Tea Biscuit

Toffee

Wafer

Vinegar

Apple Cider Vinegar

Herbed Wine Vinegar

Dairy and Eggs

Butter

Cow Butter

Goat Butter

Halla Butter

Herbed Butter

Nug Butter

Cheese

Antivan Smoked Cheese

Blue-veined Cheese (Orlais)

Brie Cheese

Brined Goat Cheese

“Dalish” Cheese - An ill described item as it is unclear if it is actually cheese. One thing is for sure it isn’t Dalish.

Dry Cheese - Unspecified cheese used in cacio e pepe(Antiva)

Feisty Cheese (Orlais)

Goat Cheese

Halla Cheese (Dalish)

Ram Cheese (Ferelden)

Cream

Spiced Cream

Thickened Cream

Whipped Cream

Egg

Hard Boiled Egg

Yogurt

Dried and Cured Foods

Dried Fruits, Vegetables, and Fungi

Dried Apple

Dried Apricot

Dried Beans

Dried Cherry

Dried Cranberry

Dried Currant

Dried Mushroom

Dried Peas

Prunes

Pitted Prunes

Raisin

Cured Meats

Bacon

Nug Bacon

Smoked Bacon

Cold Cuts

Dried Meats

Dried Mackerel

Lutefisk

Jerky

Spiced jerky

Salted Meat

Dried Salt Pork

Salt Pork

Salted Beef

Salted Dragon Meat

Salted Fish

Salted Goat Meat

Sausage

Blood Sausage

Smoked Sausage

Spiced and Salted Sausage

Smoked

Smoked Beef

Smoked Fish

Smoked Goat Meat

Pickled Foods

Pickled Apples

The Pickled Apples of Arlathan - Apples said to be from the time of Arlathan. The taste is described to be one of fresh apples, with the same crispness.

Pickled Fish

Pickled Lamprey

Pickled Nug

Pickled Ox Tongue

Pickled Vegetables

Pickles

Prepared Animal Products

Gelatine

Grease

Ground Meat

Ground Beef

Ground Nug

Lard

Spiced Meat

Miscellaneous

Lyrium

Soup Bone

Wyvern Venom - There are 47 ways to distill wyvern venom to be safe for consumption.

Sources:

(If you want to find the direct links or page numbers, check out the Wiki's Food and Ingredients page.)

Primary Sources:

Dragon Age: Origins (Base and DLCs) Dragon Age: Awakening Dragon Age 2 (Base and DLCs) Dragon Age: The Last Court Dragon Age: Inquisition (DLCs + Multiplayer)

Books:

Dragon Age Tabletop RPG Core Rulebook Dragon Age Tabletop RPG: Blood in Ferelden Dragon Age Tabletop RPG: Game Master’s Kit: Buried Past World of Thedas Vol. 1 World of Thedas Vol. 2 Dragon Age Official Cookbook: Tastes of Thedas Dragon Age: The Stolen Throne Dragon Age: The Calling Dragon Age: The Masked Empire Dragon Age: Last Flight Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights

Short Stories:

Short Story: Paper and Steel Short Story: Paying the Ferryman Short Story: As We Fly

DA:O

Codex Entry: The History of Soldier’s Peak: Chapter 3

Codex Entry: A Tattered Shopping List

Item: Sugar Cake

DA II

Codex Entry: Wyvern

DA:I

Codex Entry: Plant vs. Corpses

Codex Entry: Waterlogged Diary

Note: The Gilded Horn’s Drink List

Note: Knight-Captain’s Orders

The Last Court

Flames of Freedom

The Next Course

Thieves

The Wyvern is Cornered

Wanna support this blog? You can check out my ko-fi.

[sincerely-krp]

genuine advice for someone wanting to open an au/oc rp while being a solo admin? // you need to have thick skin and have the ability to separate your own personal thoughts and emotions (if you are choosing to also be a member of your own rpg) vs. your thoughts and emotions as an admin. whilst i am not solo adminning a group, there are times where i get really annoyed at members who i personally find either extremely flaky, annoying etc. however, i don't let those emotions come across in any of my admin messages because i am speaking to this person as an admin. i'm not speaking to them as a member. you honestly have to try to be as level headed and play devil's advocate as much as you can. it can definitely be deflating and it's hard to accept criticism especially to a project that you put in so much time and effort for that you consider it your baby, but always take everything with a grain of salt, try your hardest to separate your feelings and be as level headed as you can. i would also recommend that with you take screenshots and keep separate folders for different incidents such as having to blacklist a member, trying to deescalate a situation between two members. this will keep you organised and will definitely help you in the future if anything ever comes to bite you in the ass. at least you will have evidence to back your story. i also recommend you take a break. allow yourself time to have admin breaks and notify your members about this break. you should not be working yourself to the bone every single day to keep the group running. i will be honest, your members will probably slack off during your admin break but that is something for you to deal with later. you deserve a break every now and then. it's roleplay, this is meant to be fun so when you feel a bit burnt out and needing to step away, allow yourself to do so.

・❥・

[saltandbonerpg]

COMING SOON - OCTOBER 2020

Pirates & Mermaids // Original Fantasy World // JCINK Premium

Currently looking for 2 staff members and a few beta readers.

Send an ask to @sovereign-moon or if interested!

[lotusgraphics]

Angelina Jolie 250x400 Avatars

Please, like and reblog if you save/use. Do not remove the credit and do not redistribute as your own. We doesn’t claim credits for the images used for the graphics. Thanks ♥

[zedecksiew]

Wise Serpent

You are a cobra and therefore divine.

You were raised in a temple. The child of a supplicant trod on your tail, a toddler’s mistake -- but you bit him for his sacrilege, nonetheless. Maybe he died. Maybe you feel guilty.

What is the meaning of snake-hood? Is venom a necessary part of who you are? You have decided to leave your temple. Life abroad will test your answers.

+++

You are longer than two persons are tall. You have HD, saves, and proficiency progression as a Fighter.

You are quicker than screams. +2 dexterity. Your form describes creation. +1 wisdom.

You are a prince among serpents. You have advantage in interactions with snakes and snake-like creatures.

Your bite is fearful. d6 damage, delivers venom. A living victim exposed to your venom must save every ten minutes or suffer:

1: Blurred vision. They are blinded. 2: Vertigo. They are knocked prone. 3: Agony. Disadvantage on all checks. 4: Somnolence. They fall unconscious. 5: Nerve death. Full paralysis of a limb. 6: Visions. They see you as a dead relative.

A victim keeps rolling saves until they receive treatment, or a day has passed. If they suffer all six symptoms, they die.

+

Your temple was dedicated to the divine principle of:

1: Appetite. You may home in, compass-like, on any creature whose skin you have tasted. 2: Grace. You traverse vertical inclines and ceilings as easily as you would level ground. 3: Healing. Your venom, dried into salts, neutralises poisons from any other living creature. 4: Change. Once per day, you may put on human form. This is quite clumsy. Lasts an hour. 5: Rain. You may control a liquid volume equal to your weight, moving it like another body. 6: Wealth. Your hood buds two pearls every month. Crushed, a pearl casts a random spell.

+

Your first love was the temple’s:

1: Warden. You left them devastated. +2 to checks involving petty theft and pursuit. You have a whistle local authorities always hear. 2: Scrivener. It is still awkward. +2 to checks involving calligraphy and ciphers. You have a pen that only accepts living blood as ink. 3: Priestess. She pitied you, really. +2 to checks involving rituals and flattery. You have a codex considered obscene by most sects. 4: Sculptor. An unrequited crush. +2 to checks involving wood and whitesmithy. You have a bird statue, bone. It screeches gibberish. 5: Steward. You gorged on each other. +2 to checks involving sweets and ledgers. You have a jar of honey, a gift from a wasp god. 6: Piper. Your heart will never recover. +2 to checks involving patterns and choreography. You have a pet viper, faithful as any dog.

+++

(Another character class for A Thousand Thousand Islands, like the Quick Jackfruit. Was going to writing each one for a different RPG ruleset -- but I just fell into a D&D groove, I guess. There’s always the next one.

Mun Kao’s art suggests this snake is a charmer (geddit?), so it will likely get class abilities related to beguiling “disciples”.

These characters will probably get cleaned up and posted as free downloads on the webstore, eventually.)

[kaylorrehabcenter]

Gold Rush and Happiness are Sisters

Gather round everyone and witness the clown try to prove that Taylor Swift wrote songs about a married (now pregnant) woman in the year of our lord 2020.

Also this is a seven page doc in my google docs so like. Get a cup of tea and some popcorn.

Ok full disclosure this is…..mostly me clowning. Like seriously. Don’t take my words as the word of God, this is just my interpretation and how I listen to the songs. And as a (former? Idk man) Kaylor I’m going to want to make these songs about my ship. Acknowledge your biases kids.

Also like. I change my mind a lot, but for a while this theory that Gold Rush and Happiness are connected has been stuck in my head and I wanted to write it down and post it in case anyone else got something out of this.

If you read my last post on Gold Rush (here!) you’ll know I don’t think of it as a happy song. To elaborate further- I think it’s Taylor catching herself looking back on Karlie/that time in her life (Because I think Karlie is emblematic of the 1989 era for Taylor and is thus tied to the pain that came out of that, along with her ties to the masters heist) and reminding herself it wasn’t good and ended for a reason.

“Gleaming, twinkling/eyes like sinking ships on waters/so inviting, I almost jump in”

“But I don’t like a gold rush” 

The sinking ship line makes me laugh. I like to think it’s Taylor saying she’s literally sunk our (dead) ship, but that’s mostly regressing to 2015 tumblr humur.

To the actual analysis, she almost jumps into these waters, maybe it’s literal (don’t text your ex kids, write a bop like closure instead) or maybe it’s more metaphorical. She almost allows herself to think the good times were the only times. Maybe there’s a desire to move back to nyc, capture the magic that she may have felt during the era. 

“I don’t like that flying feels like falling till the bone crush”

But that’s the thing. It feels like flying at the time, but it isn’t a feeling that can last. These relationships built on temporary promises (we’re assuming here Taylor was a side thing for Karlie, not that serious and built not to last, even if there were genuine romantic feelings on both sides, which I think there were to some level) won’t last, and will hurt when they do end. At least, this one did.

“Everyone wonders what it would be like to love you”

Everybody wants who she’s singing about and is imagining what it would be like to be with them, they think it would be a fairytale. Hell, Taylor probably thought their relationship would be a fairytale against her better judgement. Karlie is a celebrity and a model no less, yes she has other things going for her (Koding and investments), her brand and her success in the fashion world depends to some degree people desiring and fantasizing about her.

“I don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch”

The funny thing about that, Taylor’s the only one who knows the pain of that relationship, of being a side thing and never committed to. It’s draining. It's difficult. She isn’t allowing herself to jump into those waters.

“I see me padding across your wooden floor/with my Eagles t shirt hanging on the door”

I point out this line mostly because it feels like a Delicate call back (Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs). Am I reaching though? Probably. Also as someone with parents about the same age as Taylor’s (give or take ten years), I like the Eagles reference. Stream Hotel California for clear skin <3

“At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit”

Taylor was the first person to call Karlie out on her “I’ve tried!!” bullshit, how cute. <3

Besides this line being very iconic, it also shows to me that Taylor’s been frustrated with Kar even when she was busy giving her heart eyes. She’s a frustrating person to be around even when you are “turning her life into folklore”.

“What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?/With your hair falling into place like dominoes”

Damn that’s a gay couples lines you got there Tay. Wonder if you’re wondering what it must’ve been like for Kar to grow up in the model industry, and all of the pressure and exhilaration that entails. From a male’s perspective ofc.

I also take the dominoes line to be Taylor saying what must’ve it been like to have this easy idyllic childhood. Maybe Taylor is the first time Karlie’s been with a girl outside of a hookup and didn’t have to go through the pain of realizing she was into women until later in life. (Not that that’s not painful, it’s just different, and allows you to have a perfectly straight childhood/teenagerhood)

“And the coastal town we wandered 'round had nеver seen a love as pure as it/And thеn it fades into the gray of my day-old tea/'Cause it could never be”

Maybe this relationship never existed in the way she thought at all. You know Carrie Fischer’s character in When Harry Met Sally and how until she meets the right guy, she spends the whole movie insisting that whatever married guy she’s seeing really loves her!! And he’s gonna leave his wife for her!! That’s what these two songs make me think about, waking up and realizing they were never going to leave their wife, you were projecting this whole story onto someone else, but that doesn’t mean there was no value in what happened.

“And the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure as it/'Cause it fades into the gray of my day-old tea/'Cause it will never be”

The coastal town seems an obvious Rhode Island reference, to get more specific it reminds me of when Josh and Karlie visited Taylor at her Rhode Island home in 2014 and Josh looks peeved as hell. 1, 2 Also if I remember correctly, enty has a blind where he says there was a huge fight between Josh and Taylor which ended in Taylor not wanting to be around him again. Just interesting to note. (And if anyone has the receipt, please send it my way!)

Taylor may have been projecting this fairytale narrative at the time of being able to make it work, of being friends with Josh even but it didn’t work and the fairytale is left to be folklore, never made real.

The outro is the same as the intro to the song, implying to me that while she’s telling herself it was bad, you weren’t happy, she’s still catching herself missing it and what she had with Karlie. She left a part of her back in New York see, and she can’t stop her mind from retracing old footsteps.

Now, onto how I think Happiness and how I think it connects. I’m about to audition for the national team in the reaching Olympics. Wish me luck. :)

A bit of a preamble though, I don’t take this song ~super~ literally. Depending on what day of the week it is I think it’s probably her divorcee rpg simulator or her closing the book on her ex situationship gf on her own terms ~in a straight way~. So not to discredit this whole ass post but. Take with a grain of salt.

“Honey, when I'm above the trees/I see this for what it is”

See that bold bit? That’s the main connective tissue between these songs. She’s finally woken up and now that she’s this far removed from the relationship she sees what it was. To add to the pain of it all, this is especially potent if you wonder if Karlie gaslit Tay into thinking this wasn’t a big deal, they were just fucking around when Karlie has literal Softest Love Song You Are In Love dedicated to her.

“But now I'm right down in it, all the years I've given/Is just shit we're dividin' up”

This seems to me to be a masters heist reference. Karlie since Lover, is musically tied to this event in Taylor’s life, it’s what I think is keeping Tay from making a clean break from her so to speak. 

“Showed you all of my hiding spots/I was dancing when the music stopped”

This seems to be a Rep era/dwoht reference. Yes, Taylor constantly references dancing, but the hiding spots (loved you in secret! you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis!) combined with the dancing when the music stopped (I'd kiss you as the lights went out! Swaying as the room burned down!) brings out the full kaylor clown in me. 

“There'll be happiness after you/But there was happiness because of you/Both of these things can be true”

This is probably some of the most gut wrenching lyrics Taylor’s ever written. Damn, imagine having that written about you. Anyway, the point here is the thesis of this whole damn post. Gold Rush is Taylor catching herself daydreaming about the happy parts, and reminding herself about the bad to make her snap out of it. Happiness is her coming to terms that both parts of that relationship were true. Things aren’t that simple. 

“Haunted by the look in my eyes/That would've loved you for a lifetime/Leave it all behind”

This feels very Cruel Summer doesn’t it? “I love you ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?” These lines make this relationship read as two things to me. One, it was very one sided, and Taylor/the narrator, was obviously left behind at the end of it when she was heavily invested into making this work. And 2, it was doomed from the beginning. Again. Big cruel summer energy here.

Or it’s a divorcee rpg simulator 3000. Now with extra glamour and opportunities to dramatically drink wine in dressing gowns.

I don’t have a lot to say about the second verse of the song that. Karlie has a nice smile, Gatsby reference, dig at whoever the next person to take Taylor’s place as a side fling (or a dig at Josh, or a baby reference since that’s what the Gatsby line refers to). The only other thing worthy of note for this post is the line following the Gatsby reference.

“No, I didn't mean that/Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury”

 is the next line, where she regrets what she just said and admits to saying overly harsh things and overlooking the truth of the matter when she’s angry, which to me feels like a big Afterglow/Me! reference.

“There'll be happiness after me/But there was happiness because of me/Both of these things, I believe”

I think a lot of what Taylor’s doing emotionally in the chorus is legitimizing this relationship for herself. Yeah, Josh and Karlie will have a happy life in Florida with Ivanka and them, but Taylor also made Karlie happy too and she doesn’t want Karlie to forget it. 

It reminds me of the way she talks about August, that she genuinely loves James/Karlie, and thinks they have something. But she’s just the pit stop on the commitment highway, and the depth of her feelings for the other person will never be acknowledged. It’s exhausting you know?

“In our history, across our great divide”

“Guilty, guilty reaching out across the sea/That you put between you and me”

Nothing to see here, just a nifty parallel. Karlie doesn’t want wrinkles in her new life see.

“There is a glorious sunrise/Dappled with the flickers of light/From the dress I wore at midnight, leave it all behind/And there is happiness”

This bit (which has some of my favorite imagery in this whole dang album!!!) reminds me of the end of the Wildest Dreams mv where she runs out to the car with the lover following her after the big charade of pretending not to care as much as she does, while knowing you aren’t the one that got picked.

Interestingly, if you look at the shot of the four characters together near the end, the outfits parallel the ones worn by Kar, Tay, and Josh at the 2014 Met Gala. This was of course the one where Tay and Kar got ready together and Karlie proceeded to spend the night with Josh and where Tay just looks. Miserable. (see here!)

The line also parallels Wildest Dreams lyrically.

“Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress/Staring at the sunset, babe”

Which you know. Worth noting.

The last line (And there is happiness) seems to point to there being happiness in leaving the bad situation just as much as there was happiness in the situation. It’s Time to Go anyone?

“I can't make it go away by making you a villain/I guess it's the price I paid for seven years in Heaven”

A series of thoughts. One, I love the first line where Taylor acknowledges anger isn’t going to make it better. There’s only so much being angry in this situation will do, and it’s not like Taylor’s record is clean here either. (I mean I assume. We know she went psycho on the phone anyway)

Two. Seven years in heaven is both a play on a famous game/turn of phrase (Seven minutes in heaven) but one of the more bold references to Karlie in her whole damn discography. Do I think they’ve been together for seven years straight? Not really. But do I think Taylor saw an opportunity and jumped on it? Yep. 

“And I pulled your body into mine/Every goddamn night, now I get fake niceties”

No thoughts head empty this line is a sucker punch and I love it. If anyone needs me I’ll be watching her perform ikywt on the vsfs and crying to yail.

“All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness”

Oh look! Another Gatsby reference. Or Taylor calling Karlie out on profiting off of her association with Tay after they clearly did not end on good terms. (Folklore themed maternity shoot anyone?) I mean, whatever floats your boat. 

A bit on the green light metaphor from Gatsby, because it’s worth noting even if I don’t have much more to say on it here.

“Situated at the end of Daisy’s East Egg dock and barely visible from Gatsby’s West Egg lawn, the green light represents Gatsby’s hopes and dreams for the future. Gatsby associates it with Daisy, and in Chapter 1 he reaches toward it in the darkness as a guiding light to lead him to his goal.”

Yes I copied that from Spark Notes. No I am not sorry. I have an exam tomorrow and I’m writing about a dead ship on a dead social media website. Sometimes we do what we must do.

I love the ending of this song, I really really do, it feels like taking in a breath of air and finally feeling free of the weight you’re carrying. It feels like a final goodbye, like Tay’s getting closure on her own terms and I truly love that for her. Bb’s stepping out into the daylight. <3 

There is happiness

In our history, across our great divide

There is a glorious sunrise

Dappled with the flickers of light

From the dress I wore at midnight, leave it all behind

Oh, leave it all behind

Leave it all behind

And there is happiness

So, what was this whole seven page post for then? 

Gold Rush and Happiness being connected has been a theory rattling around in my brain for forever and I’ve wanted to write it down for just as long. The tldr of it all is pretty simple, Gold Rush is about her reminiscing about the good parts of Kaylor, and pulling herself out of it, reminding herself it was bad and bad for her. Happiness is her legitimizing the relationship, and moving on while acknowledging there was bad and good in their story. It just took me seven goddamn pages to articulate that.

If you’ve reached the end of this. Damn. Thanks. Go get a snack or something, you deserve it after reading this.

[indiavolowetrust]

The Obey Me Boys as RPG Bosses: Frostheart

CHAPTERS: Prologue + Beelzebub and Belphegor , Asmodeus, Satan, Leviathan, Mammon, Lucifer, ??? (YOU ARE HERE), ???, Endings

You are one of many hunters in a land cursed with everlasting winter. You yourself have become rime-touched after an attack by your fellow corrupted hunter, an incident that left you traumatized and lame. Even your hunter’s guild has resigned you to a life of mere cleaning and upkeep duties, and you have spent the last seven years in the depths of your guild’s archives.

Then the White Witch spirits your little brother away into her castle, taking with her the only family you have ever known. Armed with your trusty hunting knife and bow – and aided by your senior hunter, Simeon – you set off into the rime-cursed lands to find Luke and end the White Witch’s reign once and for all.

**Very loosely based on The Snow Queen by Hans Christian Andersen.

Word Count: 2,369 words

TW: Blood, Violence, Gore

[???]

Despite the spread of the curse, you find that your skin grows numb at his touch. His hands -- his perfectly carved, crystalline hands -- cup the sides of your cheek with a strange tenderness, his fingers tracing the soft line of your jaw. A gentle sort of scrutiny. Then there is the matter of the man himself: his form appears to have been carved from ice, translucent as he is, and the smile that graces his delicate features shows no sign of cracking the surface of his skin. An ice sculpture brought to life, it would seem. While you’ve heard of the strange corruption that encompasses the White Witch’s realm, you would have never expected it to procure such a being.

The White Witch’s subjects have only ever attacked you. You had fought them off again and again, nearly losing your life every encounter -- and yet you can’t help but feel as if something is missing from the recollection. As if something dear and important has been torn away. You must have an audience with the White Witch, yes, but why? What could have compelled you to undertake such a dangerous journey? Why does your heart feel so hollow?

Stay away, some buried part of your conscience whispers. Your rime-touched eye discerns only an emptiness where his desires should be, the curse somehow barring you from looking within him. He’s --

“What a joyous day!” he cries, pulling you into a frigid embrace. “We’ve been expecting you, my dear. Oh, and don’t mind the castle guards -- I can always conjure up some more.”

You only blink up at him when he finally lets you pull away, confused. While it is nice not being attacked for once, you must have an audience with the White Witch. You try to make the demand in the most polite manner you can muster. Whatever reasons you may have for coming here -- you’ll certainly remember them on the way to the throne room, won’t you?

He only gives you a bewildered look. “You’ve had quite the journey, my dear! I’ll not have a guest see Her Ladyship in such an exhausted state.”

His name is Michael, you learn. While he handles many tasks in the castle -- almost too many, he says in a jesting tone -- taking care of the White Witch’s guests is highest priority. They don’t receive many guests, after all. You are led through massive halls carved from ice, pass windows and walls draped with expensive tapestries, and walk beneath cupolas adorned with reliefs of various animals. Images of serpents, oxen, crows, and more are scattered about the place. It is all you can do not to gawk openly at the sheer opulence.

You are whisked away by servants before you can protest. The ice-carved handmaidens draw a warm, rose-scented bath for you, washing away what feels like weeks of blood and grime from your skin. The clothes that have been set out for you have been sewn from fine silk, the sleeves trimmed with white fur, and it takes no less than a moment for you to note just how perfectly tailored the garments are. As if you are a mere doll, you can’t help but think. The thought settles like lead at the bottom of your stomach, an inexplicable, deep-seated worry making itself known.

Yet your misgivings are completely dispelled an hour later.

You’ve never seen such an array of fine dishes. Calf’s heart in cream sauce, pan-fried liver served with mushrooms, and cold slices of veal. Caramelized onions atop minced beef, grilled lamb with dry herbs, and a whole roast goose with golden skin. Crispy potatoes, egg-cakes, and tarts filled with root vegetables. Best of all, platters of stewed apples and berry compote topped with fresh whipped cream sit just to the side, waiting to be served. It is too much for two people to eat -- much less one person, judging by Michael’s lack of a plate -- but you don’t care. It only takes one encouraging gesture on his part for you to begin picking at the dishes, trying bits and pieces of everything. Each bite is more flavorful and perfect than the last.

A crystal goblet is placed in your hands halfway through the meal, its contents a clear, vaguely saccharine liquid. Mirrorwine, according to Michael. Some part of your conscience tells you not to drink it.

“Oh, there’s no need to be shy,” Michael assures you, handing out his own goblet for a servant to attend to. He raises it in your direction. “I believe it’ll do you some good, my dear. It is said that mirrorwine eases your aches and pains, whatever they may be.”

You wait for him to take a sip before you do -- only to find that it truly does lessen your bodily pains, just as he said it would. A single sip draws away the nagging soreness of your lame leg, and even the strain of carrying the crystalline limb seems to have disappeared. Michael gives you a knowing smile when you all but exclaim in astonishment, encouraging you to have more. If it is to your liking, he’ll call for a servant to fetch another bottle of it.

You take another long sip of the mirrorwine, feeling something like a knot unravel within you. Again there is that hollow sensation -- whereislukewhereissimeonhowcouldyouforget -- but you push it aside, enjoying the coolness washing over you. The carved chamber glistens, and Michael’s ice-like body seems to lose that strange, off-putting quality. There is only an unparalleled beauty when you look upon him, much to your surprise. How had it gone unnoticed before? How could you find fault within such a perfect being?

A third sip. A chill permeates your bones, runs its icy fingers along your spine, and embraces the confines of your weak body. You need to -- no, that’s not right. You don’t need to do anything. Why would you ever want to step outside of the castle again? You belong here. You’ve only ever belonged here.

A hand rests upon your shoulder. You look up to see Michael eyeing the empty goblet with amusement. “I would have never expected you to be such a carouser, small as you are,” he remarks.

You apologize out of embarrassment, but he merely waves it off. A gesture towards an ice-carved servant sends them scurrying out of the room. Another bottle of mirrorwine is to be served, it seems, but you don’t think you need another. Surely that would taking advantage of --

“Nonsense! You are an esteemed guest, my dear.”

A soft kiss is pressed to your brow -- a burst of winter, piercing and unyielding -- and your heart embraces the frost.

* * *

You hum happily as the comb passes through your locks, enjoying the sensation of the carved bone against your scalp. It is a wondrous thing to be tended to so well -- and by such a breathtaking creature, no less -- so you do your best to sit still. The crystallization of your lame leg seems to have spread, but Michael reassures you that it’s nothing to be worried about. It is merely a part of the process.

An ever-present feeling tugs at your thoughts at all hours of the day. You came here for something, didn’t you? You came here to see the White Witch. You must see the witch, and you do your best to remind Michael.

“But you aren’t ready yet, my little doll.” A frown graces his wonderful, perfect face. “You’re happy here, aren’t you? Do I not tend to your every need?”

He does! He does, it’s just that --

“Fret not,” says Michael, pressing a kiss to your cheek. Your thoughts scatter. “You’ll see her when you’re ready. And you do want to be ready, don’t you?”

You nod obediently.

* * *

You gaze upon your reflection in the bath. Has your skin always been so bloodless? So blue? Have your eyes always been afflicted with that strange color? You blink, and your eyelids move seamlessly against the layer of hoarfrost.

* * *

“That Luke of yours has quite the natural talent for baking, wouldn’t you agree?” Michael plucks a macaron from the display, eyeing it with an almost scholar’s interest. “No experience with such delicate ingredients, no training -- and yet he is still capable of such perfection. Isn’t that wonderful?”

You only give him a confused glance. Who is this Luke? Is he a new pastry chef?

“Oh, do forgive me, my dear. That little detail always slips my mind.”

An ice-carved servant enters the room, bows, and whispers something into Michael’s ear. You pout. While Michael always takes his leave at this time, can’t he spare you just a second longer? As if sensing your thoughts -- or perhaps only expecting them, given how he’s learned nearly everything else about you -- he presses a kiss to your temple, promising to return in a moment. That intoxicating chill fills your body once more, and you let out a sigh of satisfaction.

You peruse the options on the table before you. Berry compote seems a bit too sweet to accompany the tea, as are the crepes. The rice pudding is beholden with a bit too much salt, the lemon custard has too little rum, and you’ve had stewed apples too much recently. Your gaze draws to a strange loaf on a plate on the far side of the table, and you ask a passing servant to identify it for you.

“That would be rye bread, miss,” says the ice-carved servant. “Shall I take it away for you? It is most unsightly.”

You were merely curious, you tell her. There’s no need to remove it just yet.

You as you pick up the loaf, turning it over in your hands. The bread is the color of spruce bark and almost as dense, its insides studded with seeds. While you should find it unsightly -- Michael tends to place appearance over taste when it comes to dishes -- you find that you can find no fault in it. There is only a strange sense of nostalgia.

You’ve lost something, haven’t you?

You tear off a piece of the bread with care, staring at it for a moment. Waiting. The seeds crack against your teeth when you bite down.

* * *

He smells like flour, you think, but it’s a nice smell. A comforting smell. The blizzard howls outside, Luke shivers and burns beneath his blanket, you haven’t eaten in days -- and yet you can’t help but be comforted. The baker’s eleven year old son holds you close as he wraps another one of his father’s spare blankets around you, bundling you up. Despite that, the tears still run hot and unending down your cheeks.

Stop being a crybaby, you’re seven! You’re supposed to be a big girl now! You scold yourself over and over again. How’s Luke gonna see you as his real big sister if you can’t even stop crying?

“Don’t cry, it’s okay,” he soothes you. “Everything’s going to be okay. I’m not going to leave you.”

But everyone’s already gone! Mama’s gone, Luke’s parents are gone, and now there’s no one left! If it weren’t -- if it weren’t for that stupid witch and the rime and the monsters, then --

The baker’s son only hushes you again, pulling the blanket tighter around you. You sniffle. You can stay and hide here in his family’s shed, according to him -- but how much of what he said is true? How do you know he won’t be dragged away into the woods like everybody else? How do you know he won’t just leave? The baker’s son rocks you back and forth for a few minutes before finally pulling away. There’s something he needs to get for you, apparently. Something that you’ll like.

The baker’s son returns a few minutes later and hands you something wrapped in cloth. A burnt, uneven loaf sits within it. Despite your hunger, you can’t bring yourself to want it.

“Made it myself this morning,” he says, beaming with pride. “It’s burnt, but I’m pretty sure it’s still good. I can bring more stuff tomorrow.”

You thank him, trying to discreetly wrap it up again -- but a quick glance in his direction tells you that’ll hurt his feelings. Your teeth scrape awkwardly against the burnt loaf, sinking into a particularly crunchy, scorched spot, and you try to chew as politely as you can.

He smiles.  “Well, what do you think? Good, right?”

You nod wordlessly. Your mouth is sore enough to take your mind off crying, at least for now. 

His name is Simeon, you learn. His name is Simeon, he smells like flour, he’s a terrible baker, and he promises he’ll be one of the best hunters ever. Luke is four and loves listening to his stories when Simeon can sneak away for a night. You get used to Simeon’s terrible rye bread at some point, because you would do anything for the people you love. You would do anything to protect them, even if that means telling them their rye bread is good when it nearly breaks your teeth.

* * *

The tears carve their way down your cheeks, cutting through the layer of rime. Your tea cup lies shattered on the ground, the contents spilled against the icy floor, and the body is horribly, unbearably cold. It is only then that you realize just how thin your clothes are: the silk raiment that Michael has dressed you in is paper-thin, your feet are covered only by a pair of woolen slippers, and there is no cloak in sight. Your supplies are gone.

The crow-beast had taken your dearest, most fond memories in exchange for freeing Simeon. Simeon had been let go, you remember, but where had he gone afterwards? Where exactly is Luke and what have they done to him? That ice golem -- how long has he bewitched you? How much longer do you have until the curse of the rime takes hold of you once more?

The door creaks open. Michael, the doll-maker, has returned. A knife sits beneath one of the platters at the table.

Tip: You are fighting [Michael, the Doll-maker]. Bide your time and pretend to be spellbound until you have an opening. You have only one chance.

[NEXT: ???]

[wirewitchviolet]

We really need 1:1 time passage in games.

I play a lot of games. I particularly play a whole lot of RPGs, strategy things, survival games, and these all tend to be games that try to create an extra sense of immersion with hunger, thirst, and a day night cycle. And WOW do they ever end up doing the exact opposite with the implementation!

Like, let’s just start with food. If I am playing a survival game, and I choose not to eat for a while, my little hunger meter will bottom out, and I will start taking damage then eventually die. This tends to take like, one real life hour/in-game day, give or take to kick in, and then death comes within like, maybe 5 minutes if they’re generous? And I stave this off by... usually finding, killing, cooking, and eating, 2 entire turkeys per real hour/in-game day.

So... what the hell is any of that!?

So we have hunger, and we’re representing it as this slowly draining meter you have to keep an eye on. Already, that’s just weird. In my experience, you can go an entire day, not eating a damn thing, and not feel a thing out of the ordinary. But when you do actually get hungry, it can be overwhelming and impossible to ignore (have you eaten yet today by the way? My meal schedule’s gotten totally weird). Nothing about that makes sense to simulate as a slowly lowering bar. If you want realism, you have absolutely no onscreen hunger meter, and then like every 4-24 hours or so you have some incredibly distracting hunger indicator kick in and stay kicked in. Like, activate rumble packs and leave’em going at a steady pulse sort of annoying. And it gets worse when you’re actually preparing food.

Also feeling hungry is not an early indicator that you are going to suddenly die of starvation, or even that you’re anywhere near that point. I had dinner 6 hours ago, I’m a little hungry now. It varies a lot, but actually starving to death can take upwards of going TWO WHOLE MONTHS without any food at all. Like if we’re representing that as a meter, “hungry” kicks in when it drops to 99% full. Starvation is not a particularly common cause of death. If you’re dying of starvation, either someone is intentionally starving you to death, or some horrific catastrophe has just wiped out completely absolutely every potential food source in an area you somehow cannot wander your way out of even if you have months to do so. Relevant real world fact- Any time you see stuff about people dying of starvation, that’s never “farming just is not a thing that works in this area,” it’s “some malicious tyrant is actively preventing these people from accessing food in a deliberate effort to cause them to starve.” It’s really not actually a concern in any sort of survival story, unless we’re going real long term.

Meanwhile, have game designers ever actually, like, eaten food? Like I said, 2 whole turkeys per real hour/game day seems to be the going standard and like... have you had a turkey? I live in America, there is this tradition on Thanksgiving to go get a turkey, spend a day cooking it, and serving it as part of a meal served to one’s whole extended family. You’ve got that one turkey (granted, generally with a lot of side dishes) feeding like... a dozen people, easily. And at the end of the day, you’ve only MAYBE collectively made your way through like half a breast. You carve up a bunch more and send everyone home with a ton of leftovers. Then you’ve still got this giant mountain of turkey left, and you’re eating it for like the next week until you’re completely sick of turkey and throw the rest out, with plenty of meat entirely uneaten on the bird. Or hey, do you eat hamburgers? You know how the standard for a really kinda too big to responsibly be ordering it hamburger is “a quarter-pounder?” Which refers to the 0.25 lbs. of meat on the bun? Just quickly googling “beef weight” and copying the preview text from the oddly named first hit, on beef2live.com... “An average beef animal weighs about 1200 pounds and has a hanging hot carcass weight (HCW) of about 750 pounds.“ I can’t honestly say I know what “hanging hot carcass weight” is and I kinda doing want to, but I’m assuming that’s how much you have to work with after stripping out all the bones and organs and such. Multiply that by 4 to get how many oversized burgers you get out of one “beef animal” (why does it not say cow? I’m growing increasingly unsettled)- 3000 burgers. Give or take. You go smack that one Mnecraft cow with your sword, you should be fine for like 5 years. At least assuming we’re not simulating food spoilage. And if we are, HEY THAT TAKES SIGNIFICANTLY LONGER THAN ONE DAY, 2 IF YOU SALT IT!

And I mean, on top of that, we’ve got this whole standard I keep citing of 1 real world hour/1 in-game day. That kinda seems to be one of the more common standards for the passage of time video games use. That or 1 minute=1 hour. And I... really don’t understand why we have these scales?

Like, the earliest example of a day/night cycle in a game is Dragon Quest 3, where 1 steps on the over world map=12 minutes passing, or 120 steps=1 day. That’s a weird scale I’m having to use, but that’s because as the most traditional of JRPGs, DQ3′s sense of both time AND space are super abstracted and walking a short distance across the world map is this super compressed and simplified conveyance of a big long epic journey through the untamed wilderness. The first games I can think of offhand to really do it as a real time elapsed ratio thing are like... The Sims and GTA 3? Let me look at each of those in turn in a bit here.

So, The Sims has to pass days pretty quick, because that’s like, the whole idea. We’re watching this little household drama unfold in a compressed time scale... but the scale is really messed up? Like, we start off pretty simple. Sims work their shifts of like 9-5 on the in-game clock, need an appropriate amount of sleep... but then MOST things have timing based off having animations play at a reasonable pace, which is to say, 1 to 1 time, not 1 to 60. It takes like 3 in-game minutes for a Sim to get up out of a chair, several more minutes to walk to the kitchen and even start cooking, altogether just getting up, making a meal, cleaning up, and sitting back down is going to end up being this hours long affair, most of that being travel time from one room to another. It’s weird, and practically speaking you end up having them eat one meal, use the toilet once, and take a shower once per in game day, because less than that problems occur, and more than that, it’s a huge pain. And forget conversations. Those are like 12 hour commitments.

And then we have GTA3, where 1 real minute=1 in game hour... and this isn’t tied to anything in-game at all really. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, nothing really has business hours to deal with, the whole day/night cycle is just there to give you a nice cycling change of scenery... and also again, breaks immersion, because the animation speed is 1:1. According to a video I just watched, walking end to end across the map of GTA3 takes a full 48 in-game hours (121 in GTA5). And I mean... there’s races, and high speed chases, and all this other stuff that according to the in-game clock are at such slow speeds you can barely tell anything’s moving. It’s weird and arbitrary! And also unnecessary! Like, I’m pretty sure I sank at least 80 hours into my first playthrough of GTA3. I definitely spent enough time cruising around any given island that if time passed in a 1:1 ratio, I’d still see what everything looked like at every time of day. And hell if you rigged it up to a real world clock I could plan around that, do all the cool missions right at sundown.

But I mean, also, there’s these things called movies and TV shows? You may have heard of them, because it’s where games get a whole bunch of terms they use all the time. Like camera, and scene. So the thing there is, when, say, a movie switches to a new scene, they’ll often arbitrarily jump the day/night cycle ahead by several in-movie hours, or even days, so the lighting is appropriate to what’s going to happen in that scene. You can actually just... do that in games, too. It’s OK. Nobody’s going to stop you or say it’s breaking immersion. I talk to this guy to start this mission at what’s clearly noon, then we fade to back, and I come back out onto the street late at night so I can do this daring nighttime raid. That’s.. OK. You can do that. Honest. No need to have the sun doing crazy fast laps in the background.

Anyway, other games since have all copied that time scale, because blindly copying things from GTA3 was kinda... how people made games for a good stretch of time (and yeah yeah yeah, Elder Scrolls was probably already doing it, whatever... hell so was Robinson’s Requiem I’m pretty sure, and Drakken I know was paced something like that). But anyway, we mixed that sort of time scale with Survival Gameplay and we’re just kinda mashing these problems together. We’re doing everything in this one to one time scale, but the in-game clock is running at like 60 times that, and our already ridiculous food intake needs are downright absurd, and suddenly we’re destroying absolutely all life on sight to sate our ever-present ravenous hunger (and possibly never sleeping).

And like... survival games don’t actually need that? Like the interesting bits of the angle are finding sources of things like clean water and shelter so you don’t die of exposure once the sun’s down and stuff. And these are things you really just need to do once and you’re set. You could... basically set up a whole game, running in real time, where these are early potential fail states. Get some kind of shelter set up within the first 5 hours or so, sleep to advance straight to the next day after pulling that off, then you have like 3 days total to find drinkable water, and... honestly at that point we’re talking like a good 45 minutes of gameplay and you could really end it there, or start your last goal. But instead, no, we’re making some kinda crude axe/bow and killing everything to eat.

Not only is it not realistic, not only does it take me out of the experience by checking the math, the whole affair feels kinda like I’m being put through someone’s weird hyper-masculine cargo cult fantasy of what it would have been like if they grew up Hunting With Dad and like.... OK people who actually do that still kill like one animal, then drag it home, throw it in a big fridge, and eat it for quite a long time, or sell it, or leave it to rot because they’re just really into ending the lives of innocent creatures and don’t want weird gamey meat at all.

So yeah, just let time be time, and don’t ever actually make me eat if we’re trying for some kind of gritty realism thing. I really don’t get hungry nearly that often and fill up quick.

[light-and-heartful]

Nutri Ventures - Hulu Kids - Trailer

I always had this idea of an RPG video game based off the Healthy Eating cartoon from Portugal, Nutri Ventures, where it would have the same battle system as "South Park the Fractured But Whole" (a very simple tactics battle system) (they’d even pitch it as the family friendly alternative to that game as well as it would be the world's first Edutainment RPG Video Game), and by the way the battle system would be the same as that game, but the overworld system won't it would be top down, with the same animation as in the show, and even voice acting during the text boxes that you can turn on and off (the voices) at anytime] and it'll be not just for younger players but also older and more experienced players as well, here's some ideas that you can even submit them to Ubisoft (since they're really good with RPGs made in the Western Region) to make it for a game for the Nintendo Switch, so please listen to these ideas and consider them

it would follow the story of the show (with some minor changes to make it follow a game more, but we'll get to that), will have ONLINE Player-VS-Player battles in the form as a device from one of the scientists in Grandland HQ, who's good friends with Theo's Grandfather, that you can find in the Grandland labs & can let you battle with yourself from different universes (aka different playthroughs of the game by different people), it will also have a mini-game multiplayer mode (for offline & online) that has up to four players play the mini-games in the game's story mode such as

the Candy Bowl where it plays just like the show and has the move around the game in a camera view where it focus on the screen moving side to side as it shows them moving in circle while keeping the view front side in a continuous moving track shot (with you passing the Goal Bowl of the game at top at certain times), think of it as like NBA Jam if it was for Candy Bowl

the Pod Races where it's a basic Mario Kart racing game (with two different versions, one that has it just on the ground and you can only turn left & right to race and another where you're underwater and you can move left, right, up, & down to race

the Deep Fryer Rally where it’s like that Mario Party 6 Mini-Game “Treasure Trawlers”, where you move topdown by pressing the L&R buttons together repeatedly and turn by pressing ether L or R repeatedly, and you’d aim your position on the paddle boat in order to try to scoop up the Fried Foods with a crane (but the scoop is a fry strainer) by pressing one of the d-pad buttons in order to score points, and it would use the rumble feature as a way to tell where’s the fry food is in the grease (with the more it rumbles the closer you’re at your mark) the player with the most points wins

the Veggie Games where it features all the events from the Green Kingdom chapter

Jousting where it's a four way Joust (or three way in story mode) where players has to charge into other players in order to take down one of his/her hit points while also controlling their horse, last player standing wins

and the Oracle's Quiz (that game is the final test to get the everlasting fruit in the Orange Kingdom Chapter) where the Oracle gives you questions related to food, cuisine, health, recipes, things like that

and the main feature of the game has the players gaining different status effects happen to them when they eat certain foods that's are each based off of their health benefit, like:

Meat & Eggs give you extra attack power cause it's for force for muscles

Dairy Products give you extra defense power cause it's for protection of bones

Vegetables give you extra maximum health cause it's for healing

Wheat & Grains give you extra mana for attacks cause it's for energy

Fish & Seafood gives you extra Experience Points cause it's for Intelligence

Legumes give you extra turns cause it's for boost

Fruit cures ailments cause it's helps with sicknesses

also I'd change the names of the Bad Kingdoms cause I feel like that's fair

Sugar Kingdom would be the Pink Kingdom

Fats Kingdom would be the Bronze Kingdom

Fried Kingdom would be the Gold Kingdom

Salt Desert would be the Silver Kingdom

(also the story behind the Bad Kingdoms is that the rulers of them were also scientists in Nutri-land, but cared more about making the food taste good rather than being nutritious, this lead to many of the other guardians experiments being ruined and the citizens loving their food but kept experiencing the effects of eating them to much, so the Nutri-Guardians kicked them out, and Alex made them into his main four guys for coming up the recipe for Gen-X 100 when he otherthrew Nutri-land and called themselves the big four, and were a team for a while until Alex had enough of the ingredients for Gen-X 100 to run for years, so they went their separate ways)

there are other features include:

-a pit of 100 trials-esc optional enemy gauntlet where you go through a tower of 100 floors with something to fight on each floor in order to progress, & each 10 floors there's a boss [the first 7 being a hologram of a guardian of a kingdom, the 8th being holograms of the rulers of the bad kingdoms all at once, the 9th being a hologram of Nexus, and the last one being hologram of a younger teen version of Merdock (who looks similar to Theo)] in order to get rare and powerful weapons for each character

-extra bosses in the Orange Kingdom, Red Kingdom, & Green Kingdom chapters if you lose the mini-games of those chapters [like if you lose the Candy Bowl, you'll have to fight Candyman, if you lose the joust Theo has to fight the winner, if you lose the Deep Fryer Rally Theo, Ben, & Lena would have to fight Fritz & Fritz Jr. (but you’ll still get chased out regardless)  & if you lose the Veggie-Games you have to fight, the team leader of the winning team with Lena, Ben, Nina, & Inca]

-the bosses added as the final boss to the chapter include:

the Mind Control machine turning into a giant baker robot in the Orange Kingdom chapter

Jomanda betraying the Red Kingdom by summoning a Hydra to attack the village after the big fight with Alex in the Red Kingdom chapter

a mechanized dinosaur tank that has the big laser cannon that Alex used to almost destroy the legumes on it's head and two small ones on it's arms (kind of like the Barrel Dragon from Yugioh) that the scientists made Alex that'll you'll have to defeat it on the train before it crashes into the castle in the Brown Kingdom chapter

a powered up Alexander Bluebeard who's gone mad with Nutri-Power (like he eats a big platter consisting of a Grilled Shrimp, Bell Pepper, and Steak Kabob, a bowl of Red Beans & Rice as for a Side, and a Strawberry Yogurt Smoothie as a Drink, and this fills his the Nutri-Powers to the max, and will use more foods in the fight to boost his stats) in the Blue Kingdom chapter

& that Two-Headed Dog from the first episode of Season 6 breaking in through the ceiling of the pyramid just as they were forming the Triads of Light & Darkness to attack the heroes in the Green Kingdom chapter

-Some of the timelines would be connected together to match the form of play, in the Red Kingdom chapter, at the end of the section where Theo, Genevieve, and Nose crash into the salt desert and have to reach the dragon, it would have Theo talking to the dragon, and then cuts to Genevieve & Nose waiting near the Volcano, fire coming out the top, and the Dragons coming after them and then cuts to black and you’d to a few moments earlier where it has the Red Kingdom preparing to defend the kingdom and have the big battle between Alex, with a neverending heard of G-Squads coming during the fight, until it’s interrupted with Theo, Genevieve, & Nose coming in riding on the dragon, and Theo & Genevieve joining the battle & in the Brown Kingdom chapter, it’ll have you play through Theo, Ben, & Guardian Brown getting trapped in the mine first, and when it gets to the point where Theo gets knocked out from exhaustion in the desert, then it cuts to earlier in the day where you play as Nina and go with Johnny to find the treasure and as the two fights Curling Stone & Betty, it would be interrupted with Theo coming in still unconscious as his medallion drags him into it, where Nina & Johnny gives him some Water, Theo joins the fight, and the battle continues, and then it would lead to Theo, Lena, Ben, Nina, & Johnny getting together to go deal with the war only when they get there they discover Alex using the weapon he got from his Father’s Diary on the Legumes

-the Pink Kingdom wouldn't do that whole alternate vision thing where everything is good when you're hypnotized but gross when you aren't, it would all look good, smell good, and taste good (which is how they get the people to be hypnotized by it), but still give you the negative effects of eating too much sugar (even when Lena & Nina enter it for the first time, and your playing as Lena you have the option to keep trying the candy from the Mistresses over and over again until you say no and trigger the first fight with the matrons or until a sudden snap happens and it shows that Lena's lost a tooth, and it would lead to her getting so disgusted at everyone's teeth and big bodies that she just yells everyone to stop, and that triggers the first fight between the Lena and the mistresses, with it later in the fight having it introduce Sid as he jumps into battle)

-whenever you are at sea (floating or diving) in the Blue Kingdom chapter, it would have you doing a board game esc movement, where you draw where you want to go, and it will move in that path, and as you move enemies can move in you too and can cause battles, it kind of works like "Star Fox Command" on the Nintendo DS

-the game has you leveling up your party members of Theo, Lena, Ben, & Nina in order to improve their stats, but there's also Guest Party members who can't level up and are part of certain parts of the story or when you find and meet up with them after you completed a chapter (but they'd leave if you leave the area too far), and they include

Sid for the Orange Kingdom chapter (he's a healer like Nina)

Genevieve (or the Black Knight early on) for the Red Kingdom chapter (she's a fighter like Theo)

Johnny for the Brown Kingdom chapters (he's a shooter like Lena)

Alexander Bluebeard for the Blue Kingdom chapters (who's only available when you have your pact with him) (he's a Brawler like Ben)

Inca for the Green Kingdom chapters (she's a shooter)

Fritz Jr. for the Dragon’s Fury Challenge section in the Red Kingdom chapter (where it would have more enemies there than puzzles and traps) & the Submarine and Neptune’s Trials part of the Blue Kingdom chapter (he's a fighter)

and FYI, the different classes each shows different ways of fighting and different weapons, this is the list of them:

Fighters like Theo uses Swords and other Melee weapons and attacks by pressing certain buttons with certain timing

Shooters like Lena uses Arrows and Guns and attacks by aiming at the right target by trying to keep the cursor in the center of the circle as the cursor moves on it's own

Brawlers like Ben uses Shields and Heavy Swords and attacks by holding a button down and letting go in the right time

Healers like Nina uses water to help other party members regain their health, and doesn't need to press buttons to attack

also all each character’s attack moveset would be determined on the weapon they use (which the weapons you can use are determined by a character’s Level an whenever if it has a “G” on it so that Guest Party Members can use it), as it has different attacks and added effects for it, and an added move specific for each character, Theo can get charge his attack for two turns, Lena can analyze the enemy to reveal it’s stats (including showing the amount of Health it has left onscreen), Ben can guard with his belly, and Nina can use her cuteness to try lower the opponents defenses

-the whole quest would have it not only regaining the seven kingdoms but also to find all the stones from the start, not just starting at the end of the Red Kingdom chapter [so in the beginning of the game Theo already has the White Stone but gets it's power after talking to a Kangaroo Rat in Racing Gear as one of the Guardians of the Temple of Nutrition, he finds the Yellow Stone from a tower in the Yellow Kingdom that used to bring the people hope but worn out when Ty-Paw’s army kept attacking, and after a vision with a Journey to the West-esc monkey in the Temple of Nutrition about never give up doing what's right, Theo gets the stone and uses it's powers to defeat the invading army, and in the Orange Kingdom chapter (where it would have the 2nd test be facing the Magician Rabbit from episodes 1 & 2 of Season 6 instead of fruit bats, cause the beginning of the Black Kingdom chapter would have it start with them using Theo’s pendant to power up the Rocket into Space) the Orange Stone is in the tower used to power the Antenna for the hypnosis machine, and after a vision from the Stone Monster in the Temple of Nutrition (when it had the pendant force Theo onto the stone when it looked like he tripped when they were trapped in the iron capsule) where he talks about trusting others and try listening to what they have to say, Theo gets the stone after he and his friends getting free from being locked up in the iron capsule thanks to Guga and uses the power of the stone to turn the Pink Kingdom into a Giant Fruit Filled Garden (as shown by a cutscene of all the buildings from the Pink Kingdom being crushed and destroyed by vines & growing trees and it having a shimmer of light peek from the cloudy skies and keeps growing more and more until the sky is completely bright and blue)], and each time the players complete a chapter and get the stone & gain it's power, you get an extra special move you can do by filling up a gage by doing good button commands when attacking to do special things to happen to attack foes or help yourself (like the Star Spirits or the Crystal Stars from "Paper Mario")

-there would be a travelling chef character in towns all over the kingdoms where you can make different recipes using different foods (which all the kingdoms will have food from all the different food groups from the start, cause they'd like to keep in touch with eachother) to turn and combine ordinary foods you have into better foods to the increase the amount of stats you'd gain (for example, if you have an Egg you can eat for extra attack power, but when you give it to the chef along with a Wedge of Cheese & a Grilled Ham Leg, he'll make it into an Omelette where it would not only give you tons more attack power than a regular egg but also extra health as well and extra defense too) and it will even have a recipe log with tons & tons of different recipes

-and lastly in the beginning of the game when you start a new save file, you may not be able to change the characters' names, but you'd be able to explain a little bit about you the player, including your name, what kind of playstyle you want to do for button commands (which are described by Theo's Grandfather as an Easy Game or to play a Little Bit Harder) so all players can enjoy it, and you'd also put which food group your favorite food is (which will give a slightly more better chance at getting extra stats when you eat a food), and it would be a profile for each time you'd do a PvP battle or play an online minigame with someone, they're kind of like street passes

I just think it would be a perfect fit, don’t you think?

[jcinknetwork]

COMING SOON - OCTOBER 2020

18+ Pirates & Mermaids RPG // Original Fantasy World // JCINK Premium

Currently looking for 2 staff members and a few beta readers to help us get rowing on this project.

Send an ask to @sovereign-moon  if interested, or follow us for updates on our Salt and Bone RPG Tumblr 

[cheetahtrout]

WHy hello, cheets. Where have you been? Hunting for a new job and getting my life back in order mainly, but also drawing sausages. So people can stop pretending that germany only has Weisswurst and “hotdogs”. All of the items depicted ount as sausage in germany. I will gladly go into more detail after the cut into German sausage and the curious case of the bratwurst (have fun) P.S. For all my paleonthology friends out here, I have something nice coming and for once it has nothing to do with fish.

As you can see in germany sausages get ordered into three families depending on their first preparation. raw, cooked and poached/baked. They are then organized into subfamilies depending on different properties. Rohwurst is probably the oldest variant, due to its preparation being at times nonexistant in wich case the sausage gets indeed eaten completely raw and not even smoked. I call it the standart Pen n Paper RPG sausage, cause the smoked and salted variants are extremely durable and suited for a long track through the land.

Mettwurst and Mettenden are what a zoologist would call “the most basal” of the sausages. They are raw with a bit of salt but not enough to count as salted. Mettwurst is sometimes mixed with minced onions in wich case it turns into the also well known “Zwiebelwurst”. It counts as a spread. There are almost as many regional variants of Mettenden as there are of german regional beers. Coincidentally the mettenden are a welcome addition to a beer evening.

Teewurst is the slightly more “sophisticated” brother of the mettwurst. Its smoked, slightly salted and gets exclusively produced in germany. The reason for its name “teasausage” is unknown, since tea was never an ingredient. It does however go very well with a rainy autumn afternoon, dark bread, a cup of tea and a cozy blanket.

Cervelatwurst and Salami ( or as its known in the americas “peperoni” ) are taking the salting to the extreme.Wich also gives the salami its name from the italian “saltsausage”. Cervelatwurst additionally gets minced. “Peperoni” in germany are actually a specific type of chili-like bellpepper.

Cabanossi are the other end of the extreme. Being strongly smoked. The ability to eat them with the peel and them surviving a lot of temperature conditions without much trouble makes them a very popular snack when on tours, but are also often used in creamy soups. The Kochwurst family is a curious one. with its variants being very different from one another due to their specific cooking contents of either fat, galert or bloodprotein.

Leberwurst (liversausage) is made fun of a bit. In part because with the finely minced one, you cant really be sure what the ingredients originally where, turning it into a very popular and fine spread. Its brother the Hausmacher Leberwurst is less common and many frown at it for being gray. It is only roughly minced and usually has more herbs added. Much like the Teewurst its regarded as an autumn sausage. The last one in the fat-based subfamily is the Pastete. And its a first sign that the form does not define something as a “sausage” in germany. In the end it gets baked in a dough hull. Now “hold up” I hear you, “if its baked, why isnt it a Brühwurst?” wich is a fair question. But you see the baking is only the second step after boiling the meat into a firm paste. So the baking aspect is only a secondary trait.

Gelatin is an ingredients won from boiling bones and removing most of the fat from the brew, resulting in a gooey substance when warm and a firm cutable jelly when cold. Presswurst and Corned Beef had a hight in popularity in the 60s to 80s, but presswurst in particular has still a lot of variants depending on meat used and what additional ingredients being thrown in such as bellpepper or mushrooms.

Lastly we have to get a little bloody with the Kochwürste, but only sort of. Blutwurst, Zungenwurst and Sülzwurst are all based on bloodplasma. Blutwurst in particular is considered to be one of the oldest sausages, known to appear even in Homers Odyssee at the 8th to 7th century BC. Emerged from a time when wasting even so much as a knuckle of a dead animal could mean not surviving the winter, these sausages probably received a second revival this late in germany due to the country being in complete utter poverty after WW2, making wasting blood, galert and bone almost a crime. Whilst once there was more variety, the three versions above have remained into today. The Zungenwurst is usually only sold at butcheries and does contain actual tongueslices from cows. The Sülzwurst can be eaten in slices cold like the blutwurst. But is usually fried secondarily and then peeled, turning it into a brown mush. All three are more commonly consumed by the older generations. The last family is the Brühwurst family. And it is massive.

covering the biggest amount of variants in every butchery. So I hope you can excuse me not going into enormous detail into every single variant.

Bockwurst and Wiener are only two of many regional variants. They are also the closest to what an american would call a “hotdog”. Some of them, like the Käsekrainer have additional ingredients like bellpepper or in this case cheese.

Lyoner is the finely ground but big variant of the Bockwurst. So big one slice usually covers a toast. It is also the base for all the many sliced sausage variants you see above. Meat mixes giving different parts of the sausage different colors alongside with inlets such as ham, bellpepper, pistacio and cheese open up many variants.

Jagdwurst, Bierwurst and Bierschinken only differ from lyoner by being less finely ground. All three commonly have peppergrains in them, with jagdwurst having extra herbs added and bierschinken having hampieces in it. Neither Bierschinken nor Bierwurst are made useing beer. As with the Teewurst the name merely hints at them being gladly consumed alongside a glas of beer.

we are almost done. But a list wouldnt be complete with these two oddballs. Lets start it off with the sober fact that weisswurst as you know it is entirely a bavarian thing. It is not common nor normal throughout germany, to a far northern variant exists. Despite the peel being technically edible, weisswurst usually gets zuzelt and depending on whom you ask this means something different. Some say you have to “undress” it as depicted above, others say you bite down on it a bit and suck it out of the peel and others insist that you have to cut the sausage in half along its length. Fact remains that it is a regional spciality and pretending that the rest of germany is a wild for them as bavaria is a mythos. Leberkäse on the other hand also originated in southern germany, switzerland and austria, but spread all through germany fast once introduced. And for a country this enthused about bread and sausage, it is really no surprise that a sausage getting baked like a bread in a breadform, wich can be sliced like bread making it a perfect fit for a slice of bread became as popular as it is. Its name means “livercheese” and whilst originally it contained liver, it is unclear where the cheese came from. So now where does that all leave us with the in germany so popular bratwurst? What type of sausage is it? You noticed that I left one Rohwurst out so far. The Krakauer. Originally the Krakauer can be eaten in thick slices unprepared. But much more commonly it gets secondarily fried. In a way krakauer is “a” Bratwurst “frysausage”. But in germany people go out of their way as to not call a krakauer a bratwurst due to different ingredients and consistencies. After all by that logic the Sülzwurst would also be a Bratwurst. In fact the Bratwurst brings us back to the very start of our journey. The Mettwurst. Or rather its absolute base: Mett. Mett is ground meat with specific ingredients and meats. When pressed into an unedible peel for spread consumption it is called a MettWURST, if it gets pressed in a thin edible peel with the intend of later fry-action it is a Bratwurst. And this is the sole difference between Mettwurst and Bratwurst. A thin peel.

Hope I could tell you something interresting this time! We will see each other again with inktober things and... hopefully.... some alvarezsaurs