#sakura andrews

[katestrophic]

That one draw your OC trend looking in the mirror before and after their trauma with the "it's you" quote from Undertale except it's with Sakura and I show the progression of her through all the mainline Kingdom Hearts games.

Also is this really how I'm going to show you all her new redesign lol.

Click "read more" for the individual images.

[katestrophic]

This picrew is so cute thanks for the tag!!

I made Cadence x Hort and Riku x Sakura

Tagging: @lostseraph45

Another neat lil Picrew chain! (Courtesy of @atwstedstory and their find on Twitter)

Have some Fly-Fishing Polya-Moray

Gonna just throw my Taglist here so:

@ceruleancattail @squidwen @thecosmicjackalope @vaporvipermedia@writing-heiress

@oya-oya-okay @k-looking-glass-house@thehollowwriter@rainesol @cyn-write

@heartscrypt@honey-milk-depresso @br3adtoasty @jackiecronefield @ruggiethethuggie

@demonichikikomori @hoboyherewego @achy-boo @oreoskys@oseathepebble

@tunabesimpin @hamstergal @fumikomiyasaki@valse-a-mille-temps

@hallowed-delights @kimikitti @plutos-hell @thetwstwildcard @atwstedstory

@comingyourlugubriousness @ice-cweam-sod4 @twst-the-night-away @nammanarin

[rayoftruth]

Theory: Emberlynn Pinkle's hit was ordered by Candice Shmandice over shipping Shutaba or Reylo.

The Andrew Hussie & Vivziepop crossover we needed.

[ryv-chan]

SUSSY???

also I lost the clip file so no speedpaint sorryyy

[katestrophic]

Happy love day everyone, have some Riku x Sakura to celebrate

Guys. GUYS.

New picrew has too much power (ノωヽ)

Val did a lot of fucking around. She's about to do a lot of finding out.

Show me your OTP's!

@mystikalini @purple-cat-demon @little-butterfly-writes @lann-de-lei @sarchopathic and everyone else cause I wanna see who you make!

I needed two different versions for......reasons 👀

[ladynicte]

Andrew would actually mine and craft while playing Minecraft, and his builds are actually rather impressive, he's also competent with redstone.

Ashley pretends to be a YouTuber, gets tons of mobs trapped in boats, gets literal farms, and collects flowers everywhere she goes.

She also tries to fight everything and dies every single time, no she doesn't learn.

[mrmunchgaming]

artblock still kicking my ass so ive scraped together sum scrap doodles ive made over the months <33

[lunarcovehq]

KENJI MATSUI (SEN MITSUJI) IS LOOKING FOR…

Connection: Siblings (older brother and younger sister) (0/2)

Suggested Name: First Name UTP but last name Matsui

Age Range: 28-38

Species: Human. (or Vampire/Werewolf if turned)

Suggested FCs: UTP. As long as they are half Japanese, I'm good! My first thoughts were Andrew Koji and Sonoya Mizuno but here’s more suggestions: James Yaegashi, Matt McCooey, Ian Anthony Dale, Tony Thornburg, Nichole Sakura, Hanako Greensmith, Ayami Nakajo, Midori Francis

Connection Description:

Triggers: death mention

Born and grew up in San Francisco to strict and controlling parents, him and his siblings only had each other for support. How your character felt about their parents is up to you, but Ken eventually grew weary and fell into step like they had wanted, which likely did not sit well with the siblings.

With power and greed motivating their parents, they didn’t blink twice when it came to making a profit, and eventually their Father betrayed his business partners to climb the ladder. Unbeknownst to them, this person was a witch and retaliated with magic -- no one knew until later.

Unable to bear their parents control the siblings left within a few years. Ken even helped the sister run away before leaving the family home himself. But he was found and turned by rouge vampires. Up to you if your character is Human or not. I think human would be interesting with Ken being immortal and all, but Vampire/Werewolf works too! ( If Vampire, I’m down to even say they were turned by the same rogues, that could be fun trauma bonding. )

I do envision his siblings being better than him in terms that they knew what they wanted and knew when it got too much, so they left. But of course, it could be the opposite and the reason could be anything!

Them being a somewhat of a new arrival makes more sense/is preferred since they haven’t been in contact for over a decade -- up to you if your character kept tabs on their siblings or not, Ken tried but gave up. I’m not entirely opposed to them not being new, like being in town and avoiding him or something would raise many questions so could be interesting but would involve a lot of plotting. 

Please be sure to contact the player before applying:

Pace is available for DMs on @kenxmatsui!

[eurodynamic]

360 (2024) CHARLI XCX dir. Aidan Zamiri

Starring: Matisse Andrews, Quenlin Blackwell, Sakura Bready, Chloe Cherry, Greer Cohen, Anna Collins, A. G. Cook, Alex Consani, Emma Chamberlain, Gabbriette, Julia Fox, Isamaya Ffrench, Blizzy McGuire, Tess McMillan, Salem Mitchell, Hari Nef, Peri Rosenzweig, Rachel Sennott, Chloë Sevigny, Richie Shazam & Niki Takesh

[otakusparkle]

Identity V Announcement

Identity V Stageplay Episode 5 "Break The Golden Night"

Cast

Survivor

Main Character : Norton Campbell/Prospector (Kyosuke Suga)

- Gardener (Emma Woods): Uchida Asumi

- Lawyer (Freddy Riley): Sanada Yuuma

- Doctor (Emily Dyer): Suzuki Mayuri

- Thief (Kreacher Pearson): Yamanaka Hiroshi

- Lucky Guy : Maruyama Kazushi

- Priest (Fiona Gillman): Sakura Karen

- Mercenary (Naib Subedar): Matsufuji Takuya

- Fortune Teller (Eli Clark): Chiba Mizuki

- Gravekeeper (Andrew Kreiss): Masaki Kohei

- Painter (Edgar Valden): Miyagi Kodai

New Survivor!

- Entomologist (Melly Plinius): Manabe Ayaka

Hunter

Main Character : Ithaqua/Night Watch (Hiromu Kudou)

- The Ripper (Jack): Narimatsu Yoshihiko

- Geisha (Michiko): Nakano Aimi

- Sculptor (Galatea): Yagi Mashiro

New Hunter!

- Smiley Face (Joker): Onitsuka Michiho

- Naiad (Grace): Tachibana Rie

- Hermit (Alva Lorenz): Kanno Yuuki

Side Character

Main Side : Nathaniel/Ithaqua's Brother : Ryuuya Minato

- Kokone Imamura

- Yu Sawada

- Shunpei Kawashiro

- Ryo Tachibana

- Junichiro Nishino

[katestrophic]

@rikusqueenofhearts and I were discussing how much Starfire and Raven from the 2003 Teen Titans show inspired our OCs Meg and Sakura and that inspired me to draw this.

[thatliminal-wanderer]

Infected (Regretevator) ID Pack

Names:

Abby, Alex, Allie, Alyx, Andrew, Artemis, Aslan, Avril, Begonia, Betty, Blitz, Blossom, Bloxxer, Bloxxy, Brew, Byte, Calico, Caltrop, Camellia, Candy, Carssus, Cat, Caterina, Chad, Clary, Cougar, Diana, Dianthe, Dinah, Eglantine, Eliana, Elke, Eric, Fuchsia, Fuschia, Heather, Huong, Jada, Jadah, Jalajaa, Jynx, Kamelia, Kasper, Keasha, Lance, Leticia, Lien, Luna, Lynnae, Lynx, Mahlon, Martie, Midnight, Mimi, Mimose, Minerva, Mink, Myles, Nala, Paula, Peggy, Petunia, Pink, Pinkie, Pinkney, Pinkus, Pixel, Rajah, Ritchell, Rodney, Rora, Rory, Roseanne, Ryan, Rydell, Saber, Sabrina, Sakura, Sandhya, Savannah, Scott, Sharyn, Silver, Simba, Stephanie, Syd, Teuila, Tom, Vanessa, Xiloxoch, Zed, Zelie

Pronouns:

be/berry/berries, blox/bloxes, bubble/gum/gums, cat/cats, co/cor/coral/corals, cold/colds, cough/coughs, dey/dem, digital/digitals, fe/fever/fevers, friendly/friendlys, fu/fuch/fuchs, fuch/fuchsia, fun/funs, germ/germs, gu/gum/gums, h3/h1m, ill/ills, kit/kitz, lu/blush/blushes, ma/gent/gents, meow/mews, mew/mews, paw/paws, pe/peach/peaches, pi/pink/pinks, pink/pinks, pixel/pixels, play/plays, purr/purrs, ro/rose/roses, ro/rouge/rouges, rose/roses, sal/mon/mons, sic/sick/sicks, ska/skate, skate/skates, ta/taf/taffy/taffies ,vi/vir/virs, vir/virus, xe/xem, 🌀/🌀s, 🌐/🌐s, 🍬/🍬s, 🎮/🎮s, 🐈‍⬛/🐈‍⬛s, 👾/👾s, 💻/💻s, 💽/💽s, 📳/📳s, 😷/😷s, 🛹/🛹s, 🦠/🦠s, 🧪/🧪s, 🩷/🩷s

Titles:

Scene Robloxian, Skater/Gamer Adorned in Pink, The Gamer/Skater Who Doesn’t Feel Sick, The One Infected by Scenecore, The One Who Misses [prn] Cat, The One With an Unknown Illness, The Scene Skater, The Sick Robloxian, The Sickly Skater/Gamer, [prn] That Loves To Game/Skate, [prn] Who Speaks in Leet Speak, [prn] Who is Sick

Genders:

Adoptmecatgender, Arcadegender, Blackcatplushic, Catgender, Gendergross, Grosscat, Infectedgender, Kandistimmic, Neonarcadix, PIINboy, Pinkaesic, Pinkgender, Pinkinjection, Pinkpresentic, Pinkpufflecharic, Robloxgender, Sceneartcoric, Scenecoricatgen, Scenecoric, Scenecringic, Sicillic, Sickboyic/Sickgirlic, Sickcute, Sickgender, Sillifelin, Skaterboybodiment, Viruslexic

Other MOGAI:

Blackcatpaldernic, Cat Omninoun, Neoncolperspesque, Pink Diffiden, Pink Omninoun, Pinkperspesque, Playfulintent, Regretevatorhearthic, Rocharicvior, Scemoperspesque, Scenevesil, Sickaldernic

[wonik1ss]

Y/n’s Lovely Fimily —

synopsis : Little moments of Y/n and her members throughout the years

pairing : le sserafim x 6th member reader

song rec : cheeze - sarah kang, andrew kang

a/n : still on a break just! got the urge to write this!

“ Woah Woah Woah Y/n when did you become such a badass? “. Yunjin asked as your cheeks started to flush red.

“ Yunjin there are children here! “. Chaewon said as she blocked Eunchaes eyes that were still glued to the computer screen infront of her.

You all were watching your new mv for Unforgiven when your scene were you tore of a part of your dress revealing another one. The girls stared in aw as Yunjin made her comment.

“ Ya! What’s wrong with Y/n being a badass? “. Eunchae says as Sakura’s eyes went wide as Yunjin and Kazuha giggled as you sat in between them flustered

…

“ Ahh look at Y/n strut her stuff so fearless! “. Eunchae said as you walked the little runway in the fearless mv recording. She smiled at the camera as she zoomed into you. As soon as you saw the camera you winked.

Eunchaes eyes went wide as she turned the camera back to herself.

“ Our Y/n’s snatching hearts left and right! “. Eunchae said as you ran to her giggling.

“ I looked cool right! “

“ Totally ! You gave me chills ! “. Eunchae said as you beamed at the girl

��

Chaewon tried to close the dorms door as quickly and quietly as she could before she turned to see you waiting for her. Hands on your hips eyes furrowed and lips downturned.

“ Y/n what are you doing up so late! Kids under the age of 18 go to sleep at 10 in our dorms you know that “. You got closer to the older girl as you squinted and looks her up and down.

“ You look drunk “

“ That’s because I am! I had to film a video! “. You nodded as you got Chaewon a bottle of water as she sat down on your dorms couch.

“ So why are you up so late? “

“ We promised me you would watch a movie with me.. and Sakura didn’t want to do I just waited for you “. Chaewon nodded as your eyes furrowed again.

“ I’m still made at you! You promised me free snacks too! “. Chaewon sighed as she took of her Viking hat.

“ Will this be enough? “. Your eyes beamed as you grabbed the hat and ran to your room to take some pictures. As Chaewon smiled and went to her room to change.

…

“ Ahh look at our little princess Y/n! “. Yunjin yelled as you came out of your changing room with a little crown on your head. She bowed and escorted you to your set as you giggled.

“ Do I really look like a princess? “. You asked as Yunjin fixed your hair a little.

“ Mhmm with and with out the crown too “. Yunjin winked as you smiled and she ran of set so you could shoot your scene.

“ Everyone look over there that’s what a real princess looks like! “. Yunjin whispered to the camera as you giggled.

…

“ Hi everyone! “. You said as Kazuha waved and put a bag on the table infront of the two of you.

“ Woah! I wonder what’s in there! “. You said as Kazuha giggled and opened the bag showing a bead set.

“ Fearnots today we are making bracelets! “. Kazuha said as you set of the beads as she watched the comments fill in.

“ What colors should I make my brackets Zuha? “. Kazuha focused on the 4 beads that say infront of you as you giggled at the girls concentrated face.

“ What? “

“ Nothing you just look so concentrated looking at the beads “. You giggled as Kazuha did too.

“ Go with the Purple ones “

“ Ok then I’ll go with the blue ones then! “. Kazuha looked at you in shock as you giggled and picked out all the blue beads you could find.

…

“ 123 pose “. Sakura said as you posed in your antifragile outfit infront of the fire Chaewon was just infront of 2 minutes ago.

“ Y/n be careful! “. Sakura said as she took the last photo and grabbed your hand to be father away from the bright lit fire.

“ Wow these look so pretty thank you Kura! “. You hugged the girl as she patted your back and then gave you her phone as she posed infront of the fire.

“ Wow or Y/n should be a photographer! “. Sakura said as you she looked at the photos you talk as you giggled.

…

“ I think Y/n changed the most in the year from our debut “

“ She has really opened up to us and she really shines bright when she walks into any room really “. Chaewon said as she sat on the stool for eh first fimily party.

“ Oh Y/n has definitely changed a lot she has definitely become louder because of our group and I’m very happy about that “. Yunjin said as she smiled at the thought of you taking pictures with Eunchae in your bob for the Unforgiven mv.

“ Ohh I would say Y/n is my favorite member.. but don’t tell the other they’ll get really jealous! “. Eunchae said as she giggled.

“ She always treats me to food after I film at music bank and we’re basically twins! I see that some of the fearnots think this too since we are basically attached at the hip! “. Eunchae said as the video went to Sakura.

“ I think one of my favorite moments of Y/n was when fearless was uploaded and she hugged me as I started to cry.. and also offered to get me dinner after.. our Y/n is so thoughtful I’m really glad we debuted together “

“ Ahh me Y/n and Yunjin used to talk in English a lot but now me and Y/n just talk a lot in English to help me become better and I talk a lot in Japanese to help her get better! It’s really fun to teacher her because she always try’s to use it anytime she can and I just makes me so proud she cares that much to learn it! “ said Kazuha.

…

You cried as the mc handed Chaewon the award. Eunchae immediately ran to comfort you as the rest followed her. Yunjin whipped your tears as you whipped hers and your song Unforgiven starts to play.

You started to sing as your members hyped you up. In a matter of seconds you all were smiling and jumping around the stage.

What a beautiful fimily

…

[clndstn-headmates]

Can you make us a problematic 2020 alt kid alter (like not litteral kid like teenage)

ya 4 sure, had fun w this 1. feel free 2 change anything

-Mod Andrew

NAMES: Bunni, Arson, Ty, Kokoro, Sakura, 心, 咲良

AGE: 16, permateen

PRONOUNS: it/its, they/them, he/him, she/her, rot/rots, bug/bugs, xe/xem, fae/faer, kit/kits, any emojipronouns

GENDERS: nonbinary, genderfluid, xenogender, genderhoarder, catgender, emocoric, scenecoric, gendercute, 2020altaesthen, 2020altbodiment, 2020altaesic, feralgender, bungender

SEXUALITY: pansexual, sapphillean, aceflux, demiromantic, omni gaybian

SOURCE: brainmade

SPECIES: human

ROLE: persecutor, middle

TRANSIDS: trace, transJapanese, kawaiitransJapanese, transanime, natipinkpillus, transblackhair, asianfluid, japoreanese, transKorean, transSouthKorean, transsasaeng, kpopracial, hypanimvoice, transautistic, transtics, transtourettes, transabled, disabledfluid, permaFPcareabled, caneian, crutchian, transhalfdeaf, transmuteflux, transpanPD, transharmfulfashion, trans2020MCYT, permalockdownera, perma2020, transDSMPfan, transDNF, transfurry, permaoveraccessorized, transdecora, transscene, transcatears, transantiship, transcuteharmful

CISIDS: white, brown hair (dyed pink/black), green eyes, ADHD, acne, BPD, bipolar disorder, chronic pain, fluctuating empathy, TikTokker, cosplayer, digital artist, unstable, self-centered, crybaby, manipulative, cutesy, fandom blogger, otaku, chronically online

PARAS: AAM (🧸), biastophile (🥀), autobiastophile (🌼), animesexual, fictophile (🔖), fictozооphile (🔖🐾), necrоphile (⚰️), sadomasochist (❣️), aptophile (🍬), autoaptophile (🍭), vigiliaphile (👁), cicatrinoceresephile, autocicatrinoceresephile, noceresephile, autonoceresephile, misophile (💢🔪), antiphile (❌), hybristophile (🌹🔪)

APPEARANCE:

[kanasmusings]

[Stage News] Identity V Stage Episode IV - "Phantom of the Monochrome"

Identity V Stage Episode 4 news have been announced together with the new survivor and new main game content earlier~! I'm so happy we get another installment to the stage, and that we get to see them back in action again! Here are the cast (returning and new) and details regarding the new episode~!

Please check their official Twitter for more news and updates~! I've also linked the actors' official accounts (at least, those that I could find) for those interested in giving them a follow~

CAST:

-SURVIVORS-

[Focus Cast] "PRISONER" : Luca Balsa - Anazawa Yusuke

Mechanic: Tracy Reznik - Tsuboi Miku

Seer: Eli Clark - Chiba Mizuki

Prospector: Norton Campbell - Suga Kyosuke

Mercenary: Naib Subedar - Matsufuji Takuya

Grave Keeper: Andrew Kreiss - Masaki Kohei

Postman: Victor Grantz - Suzuki Yota

Priestess: Fiona Gilman - Sakura Karen

Painter: Edgar Valden - Miyagi Kodai

Gardener: Emma Woods - Uchida Asumi

Embalmer: Aesop Carl - Hirai Yuki

-HUNTERS-

[Focus Cast] Wu Chang -> White Guard (Xie Bi'an) - Kunishima Naoki & Black Guard (Fan Wujiu) - Agata Gouki

Ripper: Jack - Narimatsu Yoshihiko

Photographer: Joseph Desaulniers - Igarashi Keisuke

Axe Boy: Robbie White - Watabe Hiroki

Geisha: Michiko - Nakano Aimi

Sculptor: Galatea Claude - Yagi Mashiro

-Ensemble Cast-

Nihira Shogo

Tachibana Ryo

For those asking where to find the first three episodes, the Blu-rays are still available for order on Movic or on CDJapan. As for the subtitles, they're all available in my WordPress masterpost here!

[sunshine-jesse]

Why I'm Uncomfortable With Trying To Diagnose The Siblings

Hey!

I would like to preface this by saying that I'm not saying you shouldn't find representation in these people. If you have a personality disorder, and see your own behaviors in the two of them, then by all means, claim them. The point I'm going to try to be making is NOT that it's morally wrong to see yourselves in them. After all, I find autistic rep in people like Futaba Sakura, who isn't explicitly diagnosed, or trans rep in Luka Urushibara, who isn't trans within the context of the story but is so obviously trans in behavior that she'd absolutely be trans IRL. I also find pretty good autistic rep in Maria Ushiromiya from Umineko, and trans rep in [SPOILER CHARACTER] from that very same work, even though her experience doesn't exactly line up with the average trans experience.

None of these characters are diagnosed. None of them really have to be in order to be valid examples.

The point I'm going to be making in this essay is that I don't think that personality disorders have enough explanatory power for their behavior, and while Ashley and Andrew (especially Ashley) might technically qualify for one of them, I think it's a very simplistic way of characterizing their behavior. And frankly, whether or not they do qualify doesn't matter, because I think psychology as a field is grossly insufficient for characterizing and treating their behaviors… and perhaps even your own.

Why?

Well!

What, exactly, about their actions and thought patterns is disordered? The Nina incident obviously, and the calls to Julia, I guess, but what -else-?

Let's start with Ashley because she's the one people have most commonly accepted as having a PD of some kind. Namely, Borderline Personality Disorder! I'm going to go down the list of symptoms and tell you why I either do not think she has many of them, or that they're perfectly rational reactions to the environment around her.

I probably won't cover Andrew as deeply because Ashley, as loud and annoying as she is, makes everything easy to see.

-Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

…So. Where, exactly, are the -frantic- efforts? In Decay, what she's worried about is literally her dying. Not just being abandoned. And in Burial, when she feels her grip loosening on Andrew, there's nothing frantic about her reaction to it. She's just confused and thoughtful, maybe a bit worried. But that's more because she's trying to parse what's going on, and not because she's trying to avoid abandonment. She only ever speaks about it in regards to the incest vision.

The most severe actions to prevent abandonment are her calls towards Julia- assuming Andrew ever could've heard them and it wasn't just Andrew imagining what the calls could've been- but she takes immediate responsibility for them when confronted. That immediate responsibility is admittedly her just laughing it off, but there wasn't even an attempt made to justify it. All she has is the fear of abandomment, really. With the above in mind, her calls to Julia come off as her being more of an asshole than anything.

-Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships, often characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation, also known as "splitting"

I think she idealizes Andrew a lot. But the parts where she tries to """""gaslight"""" Andrew over how responsible he is for his killings aren't… devaluation. As I spoke about in my last essay, it was Ashley trying to get him to take responsibility for the actions he took supposedly for her own sake, so she knew it was for her- to make her happy.

It qualifies more for the first symptom, with that in mind, but she never, ever deviates from viewing him as her favorite person. She doesn't split. She just wants him to take responsibility so she knows that he actually cares.

-Markedly disturbed sense of identity and distorted self-image

Her self image is absolutely distorted. She's been viewed as worthless from the start of her life, and never got along with any friends or family. But her self-image is also remarkably consistent- she has a firm idea in her mind of who she is and never starts to deviate from it until, arguably, the end of the Burial route.

-Impulsive or reckless behaviors Yes.

-Recurrent suicidal ideation or self harm

Nope. She arguably has the strongest self-preservation instincts in the whole story, and despite her viewing herself as worthless, never once actually wants to die.

-Rapidly shifting intense emotional dysregulation -Inappropriate, intense anger that can be difficult to control

These ones are a bit iffy. The scene wherein she yells at Andrew for not taking responsibility for killing Nina and the 302 lady arguably qualifies as this. But this is the only such example of it in the story. Otherwise, she's in remarkable control of her own emotions, and all her worries over Andrew abandoning her are met with confusion more than an immediate, powerful emotional response.

-Chronic feelings of emptiness Yeah.

-Transient, stress-related paranoid or severe dissociative symptoms No. She displays no dissociative symptoms whatsoever and she only ever grows slightly paranoid when she sees the shift in Andrew's personality.

So, let's go over her symptoms that she unambigously has: -Chronic feelings of emptiness -Impulsive or reckless behaviors

And the ones she PARTLY qualifies for: -Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (key word here is frantic, else she'd fully qualify) -Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships, often characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation, also known as "splitting" (she doesn't split Andrew)

The BIG maybes: -Inappropriate, intense anger that can be difficult to control (only two such examples of that in the story) -Rapidly shifting intense emotional dysregulation -Markedly disturbed sense of identity and distorted self-image (her sense of self image is distorted, but her sense of identity is not disturbed; it's remarkably consistent)

You need five of these symptoms to qualify for a diagnosis. Ashley unambiguously meets two, partly qualifies for two, and the rest are either BIG maybes or flat out nos.

In other words, for people who view BPD as The Cause, she does not qualify for having the disorder. Sorry, armchair psych bros; this is your L.

…are they gone yet?

Good!

As I'm sure most people reading this who see themselves in these characters have come to realize, diagnosis is mostly full of shit. And for those who have actually studied the field of psychology beyond a few random-ass articles they looked up while trying to find out why their ex or mom was so crazy, or a single college psych course, they might find my above summation to be lacking. Questionable. Even, problematic!

Well, congrats, because now I'm going to level with you about what this essay is actually about. If you understand what personality disorders are, you'd know that they are rarely the cause of anything. They're not like diseases in that they 'cause' anything; they're just words we use to describe a set of symptoms that each have their own individual causes. And while there's a lot of buzz in some circles about the heritability of personality disorders, the fact of the matter is that there is currently very, very little evidence that they're genetic. (https://www.apa.org/topics/personality-disorders/causes)

The patterns emerge early, sure, but there is no gene for a personality disorder*. It's not, and never was, how they were always like. Nobody is doomed to develop one. They are merely born with a series of traits that might predispose them to it. By their very nature, they possess no explanatory power for behavior whatsoever. Ashley is not "like this because she has BPD," she's "she has BPD because she's like this." And this is at the core of why I'm uncomfortable with attaching a personality disorder to her.

*A malfunctioning gene has been linked to OCD, however, but even in that case it's not a gene that defines someone as OCD, because it's linked to other conditions as well such as autism, social phobias, and substance use disorders. It's merely one of the many preconditions someone may have that could lead them to developing it. https://www.nature.com/articles/4001365

There's an old meme about trans people having BPD. I don't know if that's still a popular meme, but it was, in fact, a strong association that us in the trans community had. A way we stereotyped ourselves, as it may. And it's a pretty funny meme! Bonding over mutual trauma is always a fun time. But. I don't like that meme, either, for the same reason I don't like it for Ashley or Andrew.

I don't think medicalizing personality is a good thing.

For trans people, the fact of the matter is, we have every reason to develop BPD. The world really is that hostile towards us. Coming out can make friends drop us on a whim, transitioning makes it hard to develop lasting relationships because there's always that fear of people sexualizing us and never wanting a real, close, romantic relationship to begin with.

It's not disordered. It's not a condition. It's not a "problem".

It's a perfectly rational reaction to the world around us.

We have every reason to be so afraid. It'd make less sense if we weren't. And we have every reason to view every sign someone might leave as a sign that people never cared to begin with, because we have seen so many people who never HAVE really cared about us show their whole ass once we're a little bit different than they expected us to be. The same applies to cis women, too; it's why they're diagnosed with BPD three times as much as cis men are!

And I honestly think Ashley's reactions are much the same. She was denied the benefits of the social contract her whole life, abandoned by her parents and "friends," and only ever had Andrew, who gives every indication that he's trying to distance himself from her for the sake of being normal. He refuses to give her the validation she needs to think otherwise, always making it seem conditional or coming with a caveat, and tries to pass off the responsibility for all the actions that'd prove how much he cares for her.

And, ah, Andrew, goodness gracious. I've seen so many different takes on what's up with him that it boggles the mind. It's hard to pick out just one, but ASPD is a pretty common one. But I honestly think that's even more questionable than Ashley having BPD. Like, yeah, he's mostly afraid of consequences rather than the morality of his actions, but that's because his Prime Directive is to keep Ashley safe. Any consequences necessarily separate them. And the fact that he's so willing to kill, so cold and emotionless while doing it, so emotionless after? Once more, it's his job to keep Ashley safe; to keep her happy. But society won't let him take credit. It pushes back against him taking responsibility and acknowledging just how much he wants to- and has- done for her.

He always has to distance himself from how he truly feels, lest society punish him. He's had to distance himself from his true feelings so much that it's little wonder he has any attachment to them at all anymore. Violence is the only power he's ever had, because it's the only thing society never pushed back on, and it's the only thing many of the viewers never push back on. It's how he distances himself from the things that hurt him, which is either Ashley, or the people who keep him away from Ashley. … But only one of those things ever truly made him happy, and it just happens to be the one that society doesn't accept.

Andrew isn't like this because he has ASPD. Andrew has ASPD because he's like this.

It's the effect, not the cause.

The cause is the world around him; the world around Ashley.

Medicalizing something implies the issue is internal. It implies it's something we can fix from within ourselves. And, at worst, it implies that it's our fault. We should take responsibility for maladaptive behaviors, sure. We absolutely should, if only for our own sakes, lest we push people away through no fault of their own. We should do what we can to not hurt people, every step of the way. That is on us.

But there's only so much we can do when the world around us constantly reaffirms our greatest fears.

And that's exactly what the world does to the marginalized.