#safir is ok

[indihome-suck]

going to depok today and i got reminded of you lmao :))

HAVE FUN IN DEPOK BESTIE ‼️‼️💥💥

[payidaresque]

[scuddle-bubble101]

A hug from the Zonnel? uwu

*Always~ You will always have a hug open from the large zone boy.

[dreaminterlude]

this entire scene is like i will protect you with my entire life and you don't even need to give me a reason. so do you mind if i scream

[odysseys-blood]

cries wanting to follow n artist but half of what they post is h*mestuck or fucking m*geko

[elizakai]

(ok idk why it won’t let me use the notif)

but. BRO. @rushin-safire BRO

thank you?!?🥺💥🌸🌸🫶🫶🫂 WTF.

BRO. YOU. AND YOU @mellybabbles . YOU TWO ARE TROUBLE MAKERS

you are so sweet😭 also, DONT spend money on me like that NOOOO *head in hands*

sob send me an art request or something😭

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Monday, July 29

Buffy walks through the empty halls past the cleaned-out lockers. She walks into the school office to her old cubicle and sits at her old desk. She picks up a picture on her desk of Buffy, Willow, and Xander, hugging, from their high school days. They were so happy, smiling in the sunshine. Buffy touches Xander's face and sniffles. CALEB: Oh, now, look... (Buffy looks up to see Caleb standing there right in front of her) Things don't go exactly your way, so here come the waterworks. Ain't that just like a woman?

~~Empty Places~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

The Polycule Relationship List (multi, G) by Kittenwritings

- my idiot - (Buffy/Spike, M) by Em_Kayelle

Iuvenis Iterum (Buffy/Giles, not rated) by Removes_and_Cleans_Glasses_00

[Chaptered Fiction]

Something Lost Something Found Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Safire

A Blackcap's Song Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Murray

Spiked Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, adult only) by Maxine Eden

Stygian Nights Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by JamesMFan

Tale as Old as Time Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by honeygirl51885

Price of Your Affections Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, adult only) by desicat

[Image, Audio & Video]

Sleeper S7 E8 (Buffy and the Art of Story Podcast) by lisalilly

Episode 35 - Chantarelle, You Stupid, Stupid Girl (Anne) by thesunnydalediaries

Cover art (Summer of Giles) by aadler

[Fandom Discussions]

Rewatch thoughts and questions continued by multiple posters

Was Buffy an 'abusive partner'? continued by multiple posters

What are your favorite platonic ships? I’ll go first! by melaniemoth13

Was anyone here ever able to play any of th BtVS video games and is there a way to play any now? by Coochie_Von_Moochie

My ranking of Buffy The Vampire Slayer's seasons by Cailly_Brard7

Ding Dong the Oral Report is Dead! by fabe1haft

finished buffy by lilalphabetxboy

Destiny free is the way to be tbh by Killer54321

Is the franchise dead? by Reddevil8884

Underestimated episodies of each season by Ok-Swimmer1340

I still think Angel turning evil was one of the greatest plots in TV history by sKullsHavezzz

This response is so deep and powerful by Madido24

Oz: Stoner or not? by tryingtobecheeky

When Spike’s life experience trumps everything by Sandraudiga

Spike by Organic_Individual52

What was Buffy's first speech? by jdpm1991

How would you go about making a hated character likeable without changing much of their core values by GoblinQueenForever

What are some background moments in episodes you love but think never get enough attention? by CumInMeBro88

Spike melts my heart (amd you can’t convince me otherwise) by notsosprite

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

[deambulationsdelabibliothecaire]

Hateread de Tara Duncan tome 10 – Dragons contre démons - Chapitre 10 (2/2)

Ceci est un Hateread du tome 10 de la saga Tara Duncan, inspiré par le long travail de Patricklemorse. Pour plus d’explications ou d’introduction, référez vous au post « Hateread de Tara Duncan tome 10 – Dragons contre démons - 0 : Dans les épisodes précédents » !

L’ensemble des extraits cités entre guillemets et en italiques appartiennent à madame Sophie Audoin-Mamikonian, que j’appellerai Madame S.A.M par facilité.

Salut les gens ! J’ai un peu pris la fuite la dernière fois, mais je crois que j’avais vraiment besoin de cette distance avant de me remettre au chapitre 10. La lecture était… on ne peut plus déplaisante, dira-t-on, bien plus que tout ce qu’a pu faire le livre jusque-là. Mais j’ai récupéré, je suis d’attaque pour prendre ma revanche~

Dans la première partie du chapitre, Chem débarquait et avouait cash, sans aucune honte, qu’il envisage depuis qu’il connaît Tara de lui faire une descendance, en raison de son immense pouvoir. Tara l’envoyait bouler, tout en gardant une bonne relation avec lui, à mon plus grand désarroi. Nous nous étions quittés au moment où ils s’apprêtaient à aller voir Selenba pour la soigner.

Sans plus d’attente, reprenons !

« Dès qu’elle sortit, son escorte les entoura. Sur leur passage, les courtisans s’inclinaient avec plus de déférence que d’habitude. Tara le remarqua avec intérêt. Il était assez rare qu’elle soit aussi élégamment habillée (ah bon ???), préférant des tenues plus simples. Mais les Omoisiens, eux, aimaient le spectaculaire (les Omoisiens c’est le Capitole de Hunger Games si tu lui retires tout son intérêt en terme de métaphore du capitalisme, c’est fascinant). Et ils rendaient hommage à son effort vestimentaire avec enthousiasme et respect. Elle eut un petit sourire intérieur. Sa tante lui avait souvent reproché ses tenues et Tara savait qu’elle avait sans doute raison, mais ce fut néanmoins un plaisir, pour une fois, de voir qu’un murmure admiratif l’accompagnait. Cela la changeait agréablement des regards méfiants que son passage déclenchait souvent, genre : « OK, pour l’instant, elle est cool, mais si elle allume le bout de n’importe lequel de ses doigts, tous aux abris ! »

Le rapport entre la tenue vestimentaire et la dangerosité de Tara a disparu du paragraphe. Si vous le trouvez, hésitez pas à me le signaler.

Plus sérieusement, les omoisiens sont OK avec les ogives nucléaires seulement si elles sont bien habillées ? Parce que l’une d’elles est leur Impératrice, et apparemment personne n’a de souci particulier avec son tempérament explosif.

Décidément, ces gens sont cons.

Ils passent devant Robin, qui semble avoir un genre de flirt avec une fille rousse, (ce qui rend Tara jalouse, bien évidemment, gros soupir). Ils arrivent au niveau de l’endroit où est détenue Selenba. La narration précise qu’elle continue de révéler les plans et collaborateurs de Magister à Lisbeth. J’arrive pas à croire que sous ce seul prétexte encore non vérifié, et simplement parce qu’elle a vaguement sauvé la vie de Tara une fois, tout le monde soit prêt à lui pardonner. La rédemption ça vient pas comme une envie de pisser, normalement. Mais bref.

« Safir était toujours là. Silencieux, il écoutait attentivement tout ce que disait Selenba. De temps en temps, elle levait un regard interrogatif vers lui et tous les tourments du monde passaient sur le visage de Safir d’ordinaire impassible. (Si la quasi entièreté du chapitre 7 ne m’avait pas déçue à propos de ce personnage, ces phrases auraient pu me faire sentir vaguement mal pour lui. Mais là, tout ce que j’ai envie de dire, c’est « clébard ». Ah oui, et ça fait longtemps que j’ai pas été pointilleuse, mais « le visage de Safir d’ordinaire impassible » c’est moche. J’aurais plutôt dit « le visage ordinairement impassible de Safir ».)

Il n’y avait pas si longtemps, Tara aurait juré que le vampyr au visage glacial et aux longs cheveux noirs était son pire ennemi. Comme elle était la clef vers les objets démoniaques que voulait récupérer Magister, ce qui risquait d’ouvrir les portes entre les Limbes et la Terre, Safir avait clairement fait comprendre qu’il n’hésiterait pas à l’éliminer. Puis un respect prudent était né entre eux, les événements les ayant rapprochés. (Oui bah en même temps Tara, l’un des bougs en lequel tu garde confiance est un type qui t’a groomé et n’affiche des signes de regret que parce que tu le réprimandes. Si j’étais toi, ma confiance en ma liste d’amis adultes serait mitigée.) Respect d’autant plus accentué que Tara avait détruit ou balancé une bonne partie des objets démoniaques dans un point de l’univers totalement inconnu où ils dériveraient pour l’éternité, ce qui allait très bien à tout le monde.

À présent, Tara voyait à quel point le vampyr était déchiré entre l’espoir et le doute que Selenba ne soit là que pour les manipuler. Surtout lui. »

Pas pour me répéter bis, chaton, mais la seule chose qui fait que Selenba ne vous trahit pas, c’est le scénario. La seule chose qui incite les personnages à faire confiance à Selenba, c’est le scénario. Sérieusement, pourquoi ils la croient ?! Elle n’a donné aucune preuve de bonne foi à part un vague indice, une fois, qui aurait pu être interprété comme on le voulait !

Et accessoirement, on n’a toujours aucune mention de Satila, alors que Selenba est sa sœur et qu’elle mériterait clairement d’avoir une réaction par rapport à toute la situation. Surtout si son nouvel amoureux décide de lui faire faux bon.

Bref, Tara soigne Selenba, ce qui se passe facilement et sans encombres. On nous signale que Selenba a maintenant les yeux roses, et que la première fois qu’elle a été soignée, elle a peut-être falsifié ses yeux pour faire croire que ça avait marché. Selenba semble sincèrement réformée et heureuse de retrouver un corps de vampyr ordinaire, ce qui prend Tara au dépourvu et ne tire aucune réaction à Safir. Mais bon, à ce stade, je laisse juste rouler, si je devais m’ébahir des réactions de Safir chaque fois qu’il fait un truc insensé cette critique ferait déjà 200 pages.

« — J’ai moi aussi des questions à vous poser, vampyr Selenba, grogna Maître Chem comme en écho des pensées de Tara »

Tara s’en va, laissant Chem interroger Selenba sans qu’on sache ce qu’il va lui dire. Safir arrête Tara avant qu’elle s’en aille, lui glissant qu’il a l’impression que Selenba a quelque chose de louche, et qu’il compte la surveiller, et, bon. Si ce corniaud continue de travailler dans les intérêts d’Omois et qu’il arrive à mettre ses sentiments de côté, pour une fois, je peux le tolérer. Mais putain, si j’ai une scène où les deux s’embrassent ou je ne sais quoi, je vais dégommer ce PDF.

Bref, Tara rentre dans sa suite, se change, et… je suis désolée, il faut que je laisse le passage en entier :

« — Wow ! fit une voix qui la fit sursauter, je ne savais pas qu’elle te déshabillait avant de te rhabiller. Désolé, Tara.

Et avant que la jeune fille dont le cœur s’était mis à battre à 200 pulsations-minute, n’ait le temps de hurler de surprise, Cal apparut le long du mur doré, portant Blondin dans ses bras.

Et il n’avait pas l’air désolé du tout. En fait, il arborait même un sourire ravi.

— Bon, ajouta-t-il, ce n’est pas comme si je ne t’avais pas vue sans rien sur toi. Lorsque tu as voulu mourir, je me suis occupé de toi. Mais, à ce moment-là, je n’étais pas amoureux de toi. Alors, bien sûr, là, ça change tout. Et désolé de m’être réfugié dans ta chambre, mais un demi-millier de personnes a fait irruption tout à l’heure pour bricoler un truc sur ta porte, je n’ai pas voulu qu’ils me repèrent.

— Cal ! s’exclama Tara, furieuse. Tu m’as fait la peur de ma vie ! Mais comment es-tu entré ? Et pourquoi étais-tu invisible ?

Elle réalisa soudain ce qu’il venait de dire et hoqueta :

— Comment ça tu m’as vue sans rien sur moi ?

Cal répondit en comptant sur ses doigts, l’un après l’autre :

— La porte m’a ouvert – tu nous as donné une autorisation illimitée d’accès à ta suite je te rappelle –, et le sort d’invisibilité est l’un de ceux qui nous sont enseignés en dernière année. Très difficile, très compliqué, j’ai juste voulu l’essayer. Et quant à ta tenue, tu n’avais jamais remarqué que pendant une fraction de seconde, la changeline te déshabillait complètement lorsque vous pensez que vous êtes seules toutes les deux ?

— Non, répondit sèchement Tara. Justement parce que nous sommes seules toutes les deux. Et qu’il n’y a pas de voyeur pour nous espionner.

Robin se serait excusé, très embarrassé. Cal, lui, sourit encore plus largement.

— Tu es magnifique, Tara, alors, pardon de te dire ça, mais je n’ai aucun regret. Et puis ce fut vraiment regrettablement fugitif. »

Voilà. Donc je n’avais pas lu ça avant de couper la lecture du chapitre 10 en deux, et croyez-moi, je ne regrette pas l’initiative. J’ai comme des relents de Smecta en me disant que des gens dans le monde ont dû se coltiner d’affilée Chem qui groome Tara et Cal qui la reluque. J’ai besoin d’expliquer à quel point cette association est… euh… glauque ?

Sans compter le coup classique de l’invisibilité, qui fait vraiment personnage voyeur de manga. Et là, je ne vais pas parler qu’en terme de caractérisation, car si Cal m’insupporte, il n’est qu’un être écrit et inventé par Madame S.A.M. Madame S.A.M. qui semble tenir à lui, puisqu’il est un véritable Gary Stu, mis en permanence en valeur dans l’histoire. Ce tempérament frontal est même mis en opposition avec les méthodes de Robin. Donc, qu’est-ce que Madame S.A.M. veut nous dire ?

Je n’ai pas de réponse, pour être honnête, je m’interroge franchement. Qu’est-ce qu’elle veut nous dire ? Est-ce que cette scène est censée être romantique, au premier degré ? Ou est-ce qu’on doit y voir, comme je le vois, quelque chose de profondément malsain ? Un garçon qui reluque une fille avec laquelle il ne sort pas officiellement, qui est sa meilleure amie, qui a de multiples responsabilités, dont des prétendants, qui doit probablement gérer un éventail d’émotions artificielles à afficher pour l’étiquette, c’est censé être sympa ? Si je me projette dans l’esprit d’un ado, je vois plus ça comme un moment de romance plutôt palpitant, mais l’esprit de la femme de quarante ans qui écrit ça, qu’est-ce qu’il fiche, au juste ? Il distribue du pain aux lecteurs sans réfléchir aux connotations déplaisantes ?

« — Je croyais que tu ne devais venir me revoir que demain, dit-elle, encore agacée.

— Moi ? s’étonna-t-il avec un air carrément surpris, pas du tout. C’est Robin qui la joue preux chevalier. Moi, je suis un Voleur, je n’ai pas de règles, ni en amour ni à la guerre. Que le meilleur gagne. (Ah, le fameux « En amour comme à la guerre, tous les coups sont permis » qu’avait sorti Mourmur et pas Cal. Nan, vous me ferez pas croire que c’est Cal qui l’avait dit, même avec cette tentative maladroite de faire écho à la réplique. Manque de pot, Mourmur est mon blorbo, je sais tout ce qu’il a dit et c’est SA RÉPLIQUE (je temporise comme je peux j’ai besoin de penser à Mourmur et pas à cette scène pardon)).

— Je ne suis pas un trophée, répliqua Tara, vexée.

— Tu es Tara. Tu es incroyable. Tu as bouleversé nos vies, nos mondes, notre avenir. Tu n’es pas un trophée, tu es une galaxie et je suis prêt à tout pour te conquérir.

Il la regarda gravement. Sonnée par sa déclaration, Tara finit par demander, avant de se perdre complètement dans les yeux gris qui la fixaient.

— Qu’est-ce que tu veux de moi, Cal ?

— Ça, répondit Cal. Et il l’embrassa.

Très doux au début, alors que les lèvres de Tara cédaient sous son insistance, son baiser se fit vite plus sauvage. Cela fit comme un feu d’artifice dans l’esprit de Tara. Il ne l’embrassait pas, il la dévorait. Comme on déguste une glace, il dégustait sa bouche et lui procurait des sensations incroyables. »

« Il dégustait sa bouche comme on déguste son meilleur kebab et il en mit partout le cochon ».

Joli comparatif, on me l’avait jamais faite, celle-là.

« Étourdie, Tara vacilla. D’une main hésitante, elle toucha ses lèvres gonflées (il t’a embrassée ou il t’a piquée… ? Le boug c’est une abeille genre ?). C’était Cal. Et pourtant ce n’était pas le bon vieux Cal. Il avait laissé place à un individu dangereux et séduisant (pourquoi être dangereux c’est pas un red flag au juste ? Remarque vu que Tara peut transformer ce qu’elle veut en crapaud sans conséquences néfastes, ils font un joli couple). Il était à présent plus grand qu’elle. Pendant ce mois où elle ne l’avait pas vu, il s’était encore étoffé, jusqu’à perdre cette apparente maigreur qui avait été la sienne jusqu’à présent.

Il n’était pas aussi beau que Robin ; peu de gens étaient aussi beaux que les elfes, fussent-ils demi. Mais il était séduisant, oh oui, avec son visage d’ange et ses magnifiques yeux gris aux longs cils sombres (je vais mordre). Pourtant, Tara ne s’attachait pas à la beauté extérieure ‘qerhgbhqgiuqgbiuaUIBHFBIUQERGBUIBUQRIB mensonge). Ce qu’elle savait de Cal participait à ce vertige qu’il avait provoqué chez elle. Il lui avait sauvé la vie de si nombreuses fois qu’elle avait arrêté de compter. Il était toujours de bonne humeur, et si fiable qu’elle savait pouvoir se reposer sur lui, quoi qu’il arrive. »

Si le tempérament de Cal est une raison plutôt valable de tomber amoureuse de lui, j’ai des gros doutes quant au côté « sauveur ». Je l’avais déjà mentionné dans le chapitre 1 (souvenez-vous, j’avais râlé parce que Cal comptait ça dans ses calculs pour que Tara lui tombe dans les bras :D), mais cette idée conte-de-féesque de tomber amoureuse du type qui te sauve est d’autant plus débile que Tara Duncan joue h24 les ados rebelles, à base de « oh là là la magie c’est si has-been ! ». Bah oui mais... le trope de genre… la princesse qui s’éprend du prince charmant qui vient la sauver… c’est pas un peu has-been aussi ? C’est pas parce que c’est planqué sous une autre forme et dans un autre format d’histoire que ça se voit pas, hein.

Les deux s’embrassent encore, et puis Tara décide d’être franche et de lui dire clairement qu’elle n’est pas amoureuse de lui, ce qu’il coupe en disant qu’il sait qu’elle l’est. Il enchaîne sur tout un discours à base de « Tu t’es persuadée que tu aimais Robin, mais c’était pas le cas, on t’a entraînée à trop réfléchir », et bref, non seulement c’est vaguement creepy qu’il pense mieux savoir qu’elle ce qu’elle ressent, mais en plus sa façon de lire l’esprit des gens perd complètement tout l’aspect romantique que la relation pourrait avoir. Ce bouquin, pour l’instant, c’est du simulateur de fanservice dans lequel Tara est coincée dans plein de situations affreuses et où tous les mecs qui veulent l’épouser sont plus détestables les uns que les autres. Je suis agacée, mais en même temps je la plaindrais presque.

« — Oh, si, c’est vrai. Tu as besoin d’un esprit perspicace à tes côtés. De quelqu’un qui saura exactement ce que tu veux dire, ce qu’il y a derrière les mots. Je ne sais pas si ce sera moi, parce que c’est une lourde tâche. Mais je suis tombé amoureux de toi et j’ai la ferme intention de te faire perdre la tête.

Tara allait lui demander pourquoi, soudainement, il était tombé amoureux d’elle, alors que le sort d’attirance n’avait pas fonctionné sur lui, lorsqu’elle réalisa qu’elle allait faire exactement ce qu’il venait de démontrer. Tenter d’analyser.

Argh.

Cal qui avait suivi facilement le cheminement de la pensée de la jeune fille blonde eut un autre sourire, tordu celui-là.

— D’ailleurs, poursuivit-il, si tu continues, tu vas finir par ne jamais réussir à garder un petit copain. Enfin, en dehors de moi, bien sûr, ce qui me va très bien. »

Je suis admirative. Il arrive à me dégoûter quasi autant que Chem.

C’est que ce genre de discours est très réaliste. Mine de rien, tout ce que raconte Cal ressemble à de la manipulation ; encore une fois, vu que c’est un chouchou de l’autrice, ce sera sans doute tourné d’une autre façon : on va probablement nous dire que Cal est seulement un peu malin dans sa façon de séduire Tara. Mais merde, ces répliques transpirent l’esprit retors et ambitieux. Pour moi, Cal n’a aucun amour pour Tara. Il ne fait que jouer avec elle, pour le plaisir d’avoir une proie particulièrement fun. Voilà, c’est du comportement de prédateur.

Bon, après je dois avouer que je manque cruellement d’objectivité pour cette part : mon expérience amoureuse joue sans doute sur cette analyse très bas du front. Cependant, ce que raconte Cal me gêne beaucoup, et je reste sur l’idée que je ne vois aucunement leur dynamique comme romantique. Cal se contente d’être très physiquement attiré par elle (en démontre la façon dont il est tombé amoureux d'elle dans le tome 9), et Tara est troublée par ce qui est probablement un mélange entre son affection pour Cal et ses taquineries qui lui font ressentir de nouvelles choses. En bref, elle projette sur un ami de toutes nouvelles formes de séduction. Et ce n’est pas moi qui l’affirme : elle dit texto qu’elle n’est pas amoureuse de lui, je ne compte pas le fait que Cal le nie comme un argument valable. Tara sait ce qu’elle ressent.

Ce duo montre tous les signes d’une relation qui va se casser la gueule, sauf que c’est seulement présenté sous le jour d’un « will they won’t they » qui est très, très déplaisant à lire. Y aurait matière à explorer tout le côté toxique qu’a la relation, mais ça ne va pas être fait, et ça me fatigue d’avance.

Bon euh et… après, les deux commencent à coucher, je crois… ? Madame S.A.M. écrit vraiment ça de façon très métaphorique et ellipsée (ce que je peux comprendre, pour le coup), et j’ai pas envie de retranscrire ça ni de le commenter, donc huh. Cal et Tara commencent à coucher, voilà. C’est gênant.

Un ange qui a probablement entendu ma détresse mentale face à cette scène les interrompt en plein milieu de leur petit amusement. Cal dit à Tara qu’il va revenir cette nuit, et Tara a l’air toute chamboulée et pas très sûre mais en même temps très sûre, le sentiment principal qui se dégage est que Cal va très vite. Moi, je trouve surtout qu’un garçon qui ne prend pas un « non » implicite et qui prétend mieux savoir que toi ce que tu ressens ne devrait pas avoir ta confiance.

Tara va voir qui est à la porte, et se rend compte qu’il s’agit de Mara, sa demi-sœur. Celle-ci entre dans la pièce, juste au moment où Tara se rappelle que Mara est amoureuse de Cal.

C’est tout pour votre épisode de Loft story de la semaine, les enfants.

C’était épuisant, bon Dieu. J’ai bien fait de commenter en deux parties, cette fin de chapitre m’a mis un coup.

La prochaine fois, on aura droit à un chapitre sur Mara. Je n’arrive pas à croire qu’on va probablement continuer de s’étaler sur des histoires d’amour, dans un bouquin dont le titre est « Dragons contre démons ». Courage à vous, et courage à moi.

A la prochaine fois !

[dianesstari]

#Cerpen

"Astaga kue Tar. benar-benar lu yah. Nggak habis pikir gue, kek jalinan syarafmu ada yang bengkok mesti dibenerin! Lu sebenarnya nyari sosok cowok kayak gimana lagi sih Mentari Savana?"

Si Bulan sahabat baikku yang cerewetnya minta ampun sedang menguliti habis-habisan isi perasaanku sampai ke akar-akarnya malam ini. Biji matanya seolah mau ikutan runtuh melototi tiap inci tubuhku dari ujung kepala hingga kaki. Sebab pilihanku katanya tak masuk akal lagi baginya.

Aku hanya mematung mendengar ocehan panjang lebarnya. Lalu membuang muka tak ingin menatap siapapun. Ahh malas sekali rasanya meladeninya malam ini. Isi kepala juga perasaanku begitu riuh. Sudah hampir penuh. Aku lelah. Lelah sekali.

"Ditanya seriusan kok malah diam. Kemasukan Jin apaan sih kamu barusan, hah? Sini gue Ruqyah sekalian! Tuh muka udah kayak pisang goreng yang nggak dibeli seharian. Came on! Mana sih Tari si muslimah berkekuatan matahari itu? Lagi mendung yah jantung hatinya? Curhat kali ama gue. Jangan disimpan-simpan."

Tapi si Bulan Safir Mahendra ini terus menyerocos tak karuan menghujaniku dengan petuah-petuah bijaknya tentang jodoh, cinta atau apalah sejenisnya. Membuatku makin muak menatapnya.

"Iiih apaaan sih... Udah tidur sana. Dah malam. Aku mau istirahat."

"Astaga, Tar. Lu Lagi PMS yah? Sensitif amat!"

"Astagfirullah, Bul. Nggak usah mancing-mancing deh."

"Ikan kali dipancing." Dia malah terkekeh melihat emosiku yang mulai nggak stabil.

"Tapi seriusan deh kue Tar. Lu tuh kenapa sih? Gue baru tahu dari Ustadza Humairah kalau dua pekan lalu luh tiba-tiba nggak mau lanjutin taarruf dengan Ustadz Fajar. Ya salam, kulit bening kayak oppa-oppa lu tinggalin. Apa coba yang kurang Tar? Ganteng iya, santun iya, kesolehan apalagi udah jangan dibilang. Dia juga anak pak kiyai pemilik pondok ini. Lu ama dia udah coupleable goals banget. Cocok. Tapi kok ditolak sih?

Aku yang ngejalanin taarruf si Bulan yang meradang. Bagaimana tidak. Ustadz Fajar memang dikenal sebagai lelaki idaman di antara pengajar-pengajar jomblo di pondok ini. Pesonanya menyaingi wajah perpaduan Refal Hadi dan Megantara. Kebaikan akhlak dan tajamnya ilmu agama yang dimilikinya tidak diragukan lagi. Dia juga anak dari kiyai yang di hormati di pondok ini. Dia memang laki-laki yang memikat tapi sama sekali tidak bagiku.

"Aduh please Bul-Bul. Jangan sampai aku panggil kamu burung Hud-Hud! Mohon maaf yah konser tausiyah cintanya di pause dulu deh. Aku ngantuk. Jangan sampai aku ngamuk beneran nih! " Sambil kertas yang ada ditanganku kuremuk tak beraturan.

Eh si Bulan nggak merasa bersalah. Dia malah menggodaku balik.

"Atau lagi nunggu seseorang yah?" Matanya menyipit-nyipit seperti bohlam yang mati-nyala- mati-nyala.

"Suit..suit..Cie.. Cie.. Makanya sekelas Ustadz Fajar lewat gitu aja yah. Tapi denger denger. Tahun lalu pas lebaran idul fitri juga ada yang datang ke rumah melamar kan? Yang punya warnet depan rumahmu itu. Si Bang Bintang. Nggak terlalu jauh sih umurnya. Masih keren buat jadi abang sayang. Hahaha. Mana udah mapan pula. Punya usaha, punya rumah ama mobil. Kelihatannya baik dan perhatian banget ama kamu tapi kok ditolak juga sih Tar?"

Dan satu lagi... Tentang si mahkluk frozen man kak Bumimu yang sampai malam ini masih misterius. Aku hanya bisa menerka sosoknya dari balik tulisan-tulisanmu yang acak. Dia bagaimana kabarnya, Tar? Benar-benar gue dibuat pusing ama teka teki perasaan lu.

Mulut Bulan malam ini tak henti-hentinya komat kamit seperti kehilangan remnya. Aku benar-benar risih dibuatnya. Mau ngamuk ku sudah nggak punya energi. Badan lemas. Akhirnya aku mengalah dan berterus terang padanya.

"Udah.. Cukup Bulan. Please. Aku akan jelasin semuanya satu per satu oke. Jadi gini yah. Dalam hidup kita punya prinsip masing-masing yah kan? Sampai hari ini ada prinsip yang aku pegang dan nggak semua orang bisa menerima. Boleh jadi itu salah satu alasan kenapa sampai hari ini gue gagal tarruf.

Tetapi balik lagi itu udah bagian dari takdir-Nya. Aku bisa apa coba. Aku nggak bisa maksain agar orang lain nerima prinsip aku kan? Tetapi aku selalu yakin dan percaya ama yang diatas. Ada rencana menakjubkan untukku nanti.

Akan ada laki-laki baik yang hatinya seluas samudera yang akan menerimaku utuh apa adanya lengkap dengan prinsip yang aku pegang suatu hari nanti. Mungkin memang bukan lelaki yang sempurna namun akan kupastikan bersamanya kelak dia akan menjadi laki-laki tersempurnaku."

Berlalu sekian purnama. Apa yang malam itu kusampaikan pada Bulan Allah kabulkan hari ini.

Hari ini aku seperti ratu dengan sebuah gaun anggun putih yang menjuntai di tubuhku. Juga kerudung dan niqab dengan warna senada sedada sederhana namun indah sekali kulihat dari pantulan cermin. Sebuah mahkota kecil putih dengan hiasan manik-manik bertengger diatas jilbab putihku. Tak ketinggalan seikat bunga tulip putih pun berada dalam genggamanku.

Tanganku hanya ditutupi kaos tangan putih tanpa lukisan henna kekinian. Tanpa make up menor apalagi lipstik tebal. Juga tanpa musik yang memekikkan telinga. Resepsi pernikahan ku sangat jauh dari kesan pesta yang mewah nan megah.

Hanya ada sebait nasyid senandung rindu yang menggema disudut ruangan ini. Sebab aku memang ingin konsepnya serba putih yang melambangkan kesucian dan kesederhanaan. Karena bagiku yang terpenting, perjalanan akad ini bisa berlangsung sakral dan berkah. Bukan pada gegap gempitanya pesta.

Di atas dua pelaminan yang terpisah. Sesekali mencuri pandang pada sosok lelaki yang ada dibalik tirai. Aku masih malu-malu mengeja namanya.

Kak LANGIT. Seorang lelaki biasa namun sangat istimewa dimataku. Seseorang yang sama sekali tak pernah kubayangkan sebelumnya, hanya sekali dua kali bertemu lalu mantap untuk melangkah sampai ke titik ini.

Seorang yang memperjuangkanku dengan cara-caranya yang mengangumkan. Seseorang yang menerima setiap kurangku lengkap dengan prinsip yang aku pegang.

Terima kasih kak sudah sejauh ini berjuang. Terima kasih sudah memilih dan menerimaku. Terima kasih sudah menjadi jawaban atas doa-doaku selama ini. Terima kasih telah menjadi rumah, tempat dimana aku tak perlu berpura-pura lagi dan menjadi utuh diriku sendiri. Terima kasih telah menjadi pelabuhan terakhirku dari sekian banyak perjalanan yang melelahkan.

[uselessboss]

Case 01-Aftermath(3/?)

“Hunter told me about it so I thought about offering my help too.” Andrews explains. “…As long as it doesn't feel too crowded for the kid I mean.”

“I don't think Safir will mind.” She smiles. “Would it be ok to ask why the sudden decision? Just out of curiosity”

“I have been doing some thinking after talking with both you and Hunter” He smiles “And my conclusion was that I really don't like settling for a bad outcome after all. Staying idle sure doesn't fit me"

He gives her a knowing look.

He was acknowledging it. All those words said out loud as well as those left unsaid. About them and about himself, what he seeks out and what he wants to give back. She was sure of it, ever since their first exchange of words, that the man in front of her was someone capable of so much care and putting his heart into whatever he was set to do.

It's something she witnessed time and time again as his partner. The subtle twitch of his fingers itching to act, the glances of concern whenever he thought no one was looking, the small excuses he came up with to justify his involvement as he tried to downplay his contributions. Even after being disillusioned by betrayal after betrayal that cadence still remained somewhere in his heart.

It made her want to believe in him, it made her want to protect that light.

It wasn't the smoothest of the sailings. Both were very clumsy and awkward at their attempts at connecting with each other and perhaps even approaching it in all the wrong ways possible. Her coming too strongly and hasty and him not wanting to commit and suffer another heartbreak. Both unwilling to trust the other completely, at least not for the important things.

It wasn't an easy process to admit their vulnerability but still, they were getting there. Their roles might have changed from what it once was before but not their promise.

They are, at last, true companions and partners at heart.

“I will make sure to tell Safir. I promise to do my best to convince him to let you come along”

“Thank you Safir" He could picture Miller's whole expression lit up. “Ah, by the way, one of them, Andrews, was the one helping me with your case. He was the one in charge of Morrigan's investigation while I chased after your assailant "

“Then l have to thank him for it"

“I am sure he will appreciate your gesture. Your words… It will mean a lot to him"

Her voice was soft, oozing with affection and gratitude. It was much lighter than the last time they spoke, as if the weight on her shoulders had been lift. Perhaps thanks to those friends of hers?

It was rather reassuring thought. Miller might be strong and always looking out for everyone but she wasn't invincible, so he was glad that she had people that could be there for her when she was in need for support herself.

“I am looking forward for the day we meet.” He smiles. “See you soon Miller"

“...Were you talking with Miller about your outing?”

“Oh? Hello Saram" he greets after pressing the button to end the call. “ Yes, Miller was asking if she could invite her friends to come along”

“Her… Friends? Are them per chance called “Hunter" or “Andrews”?”

“Do you know them?”

“Mostly in passing. I meet them whenever I am summoned for a supernatural case but we don't interact much if at all"

“But would you like to? I mean, you could join us. It would be the perfect chance for that”

“I… Am not sure" Saram hesitates. “I don't think they like me so I might makes things awkward”

“How so? By the way Miller talks about them they seem to be pretty friendly"

“They are good people” he nods. “It's just that…”

Saramsrein makes a complicated face. His gaze drops and he twiddles a lock of his hair in deep thought. It was a habit he picked to occupy himself to ease his nerves whenever he wanted to share something deeply personal and important to him.

“Him?”

“Faust. He's Miller's grandfather" Saram clarifies. “He was the first human to ever “defeat" me. The only one who could have done it"

His existence was impervious to harm and any attempt at hostility which included most sealing techniques. To bypass his absolute protection one must aim to not cause any damage to him nor carry any resentment in doing so. A nigh impossible task, inhuman creature or not, as the “Demon of Unravel" he was the most dreaded creature in existence. He was meant to be rejected and despised by all living beings that walked this earth.

“Faust didn't hold any ill will towards me. Even through I was an irrational killing beast when we first met he didn't hate me. The only thing in his heart was… The immense love he held for this world and his desire to protect its future. Even if he had to bet his life for the chance to keep it flourishing he gladly did it. No matter how many times, no matter how many lifetimes he had to sacrifice for it, he never once hesitated.”

And from this unlikely meeting of unending battles, when by all accounts it should have given birth to strife and hatred… It created a “bond".

“In a weird sense those battles were the closest thing to a “constant" I had. A… Weird “companionship" of sorts.” Saram stares at his hands again, opening and closing his palm. It still looked like of a human's physically, but mentally he saw his sharp claws in its place. He saw a deep red. Blood, HIS blood. “I started to crave more of this “companionship", but my mind was of simple minded brute, fighting was the only thing I knew of and that's what I went with. I fought, harder and harder, until I landed a decisive blow on Faust in our last bout"

Looking back at it perhaps that was the first sign of his sense of self taking shape. The first sprout of the seedlings of his so called “identity”.

Before he didn't care about the damage and sorrow his actions caused. He didn't care about the lives he took, he was completely indifferent.

And yet, at that fateful moment, when he found Faust at his mercy after a decisive blow he hesitated. For the first time he found himself faltering and being invested in the outcome of a battle. As unbelievable as it sounded, specially as Faust's still warm and fresh blood dripped from his monstrous claws and from the huge gashes left in his battered body, he did not want to kill him.

“Faust extended his kind hand and gave me a chance. As long I promised to not kill any human again he would show me another path.” He reminisces. “I complied to his request and in turn he granted me… Fulfillment. He allowed me to be not only part of his life but also of his own family."

Those were the happiest years of his eternal existence.

However…

“But something happened and you were forced to break your promise right?”

Wordlessly, Saram gets up and picks a folder from the top of one of the shelves, giving it up to him, his expression looking the most serious and grave Safir had ever seen.

As he carefully opens the folder he finds several clippings inside it. Newspapers and printed articles about a case that happened years ago, about a gruesome bloodbath of unprecedent proportions enacted by an individual that should be, by all accounts, regarded as an example of an upstanding individual.

It was about Miller.

"Miller was always overly emphatic and kind, moreso to ones that couldn't be heard. It was also one of the reasons to why she became a cop, to help grieving spirits to go to Eternity in peace"

'See this? It’s the result of me dropping my guard. If you are not careful enough this kind of thing can ruin your life'

"And yet the same courtesy can't be said to have been extended to her. After failing to bring a corrupt culprit to justice their victims' malice got out of control. They demanded revenge of her to quell their wrath, torturing her day after day until she was mentally broken enough for them to take control of her body. So they could inflict the same pain and misery that was inflicted on them."

And the result of that was…

Safir's eyes scanned the content of the articles again.

Anger, hatred, ressentment, slander and hostility.

He couldn't even begin to fathom the amount of torment Miller was forced to endure- Mind, body and soul. It brought to mind Saram's strong reaction days ago, his panic attack towards the scent of "burning flesh" and his rambling over failing to save her over and over again. He had an inkling since then that they had been masking their pain for a long time, that it ran far deeper and rawer than was downplayed by them, and with this talk it seemed that his suspicions had been spot on.

"She got stigmatized by other humans. Hated, loathed and derided to the point of trying of having attempts made against her life. Even while she laid on a hospital bed barely alive and defenseless. They didn't give her any mercy nor respite".

Saramsrein's voice drops. Low, guttural and threatening. His sharp irises growing thinner, longer, making his eyes look bigger and more intense than usual.

"I killed them all. Anyone who dared to hurt her." he growled. "I thought that by doing that I was protecting Miller, that I was keeping her safe, avoinding further harm to befall on her but…"

'… After a series of missing cases that happened around the time Miller was in the hospital I was put under arrest on the suspicion of being the responsible for it'

"I caught others in the crossfire. Just like the spirits that hurt Miller, my selfish actions brought suffering to others, even the one I was trying to protect." The growl in his voice disappeared, being replaced with deep regret and sadness in its place. "Her friend, Andrews, just wanted to stand by her side and be her strength but my meddling ruined that. He was blamed for the deaths and in turn Miller was forced to cut ties with him. To fix my mess and protect him from receiving further backlash, leaving her to face the world all on her own"

"On her own?"

"I was a coward. After Miller found out what I did she reacted to me with fear. My actions reminded her too much of all the traumatic things she went through." he confessed. "And I… Was taken aback by her reaction. I was confused and filled with a sense of shame and I didn't know how to handle it so I just… Disappeared. Out of the human world"

Out of her life.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Are you ok Safir?" Miller asked.

"Huh?"

"You look rather pensive"

'Somehow I could make amends with Miller after what happened but the same can't be said about her friend. I wish I could have him the truth. He deserves it after all the grief I also put him in but… I'm unable to do so.'

Because of their involvement with the supernatural.

"Miller, can I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

"Are your friends aware of your secret? About your powers, Saram or the supernatural?"

"Hum… It's a rather complicated situation. Unlike us who are more inclined to accept the supernatural because of our affinity the reaction of normal people can be rather unpredictable." Miller hums. "So I didn't tell them. YET"

"Yet?" he raises an eyebrow at her phrasing.

"Yes. I do plan to one day tell them everything. I just need to take small steps, one at the time, in order to prepare them for it. For the truth"

So that means…!

Maybe… Just maybe, there's a possibility for Saram to reconcile?

"...We arrived at our meeting place" Miller announced. "Ready to meet my pals?"

"Yes, gladly" Safir gave her a confident grin.

"Technically they are my subordinates while on clock but on practice they are my equals" Miller chuckles. "Althrough, in Andrews' case you could argue he's the "real boss" as he oversees and directs my unit most of the time"

"Nah, I would still call you our boss Miller, the final say is still yours" the man Safir identified as Andrews grinned. "So you are the kid Miller was talking about huh? Nice to meet you, I'm Daniel Andrews, but you can call me Andrews like all my buddies do"

"I'm also happy to be able to meet you, my name is Safir" he polited greeted. "Miller told me about how you were in charge of my case. I don't have enough words to express my gratitude for what you have done for me. so thank you"

"I… Uh?" Safir blinks in confusion.

Miller's friends sure are… Quite a character themselves huh?

"Sorry kiddo, I was just surprised" Andrews chuckles. "People usually don't take well when we "fail" at our jobs so it caught me off guard. You are more chill than I expected"

"I'm not new to losing a "home". When you live on the streets you learn quickly enough that crying about the unfairness of the situation is useless" he lays it bluntly. "Most of the time you can only count on yourself to get out of this situation so your time is better spent doing something about it than walling about your losses"

"Oh.I… See"

Now it's Safir's turn to chuckle at his rather awkward reaction.

"That's why I appreciate yours and everyone's gesture. Not only for providing me a place that I can genuinely call "my home", but also for not letting all my efforts and progress go to waste. It's nice to have people to count on for a change"

"… You are really mature huh?" Andrews smiles. "Perhaps the most mature of everyone here"

"Indeed he is. Safir has a good head over his shoulders" Miller grins, like a proud mother. "He's very reliable"

"Would you mind if I asked how you two met? Miller mentioned that you contacted her directly about Morrigan so I can only assume you knew each other prior to this case right?" the silver haired man interjected. "Ah, I'm Wolf Hunter by the way, like Andrews here you can address me by "Hunter" as well"

"Actually I was introduced to her by Saram… I mean, Saramsrein. I'm also currently living in his home"

Miller's friends exchange a look in surprise.

"That… Comes off as a surprise. He seemed rather… "Awkward" with interacting with anyone that isn't Miller. How did you two even met?"

"Let's just say that it was all thanks to his dorky and clumsy attempts at making friends" he smiled.

"Hum…" Hunter taps his chin in deep thought. "I guess it might explain some things. Namely his change"

"His change?"

"Well, as I said he still acts a bit awkward with us but it isn't as bad as it was before. Let's se… How should I put it?" Hunter trails off. "Before he was somewhat emotionless and standoffish to an almost eerie degree if I'm being honest but now he seems more… Approachable? Expressive? At least he greets us now"

They are indeed good people.

"You said your name was Hunter right?"

"Yes?"

"You are exactly as Miller has described. You are a pretty sensitive soul aren't you?"

"T-That's"

"He's also very easy to fluster" Miller grins mischievously as she places an arm around Hunter's shoulder. "If he ever tries to be mean to you then feel free to bully him back"

"Why would I- Anyway. The list. Do you have an inventory of the lost property and current possessions you have?"

"Yes, here it is"

"Hum… You have the basics covered but I think there's still room for a few purchases to be made" Hunter assess the list.

"Like what?"Safir blinks, scooting closer.

"An extra blanket for starters" Hunter points. "You will need a spare if you wash the one you already have right? We could check a store that sells sewing supplies"

"Sewing supplies? Not a store that sells blankets itself?"

"Personally I prefer a custom blanket. If you put a zipper on it and buy the stuffing it makes it so much more versatile as you can choose how thick you want your cover. It also makes it easier to wash, which reminds me that we should buy some washing bags too."

"Ah, but I don't know to sew"

"Don't worry I can do it for you" Hunter gives a pause. "…Or teach you how to do it if you are interested, sewing is a very useful skill to learn after all"

"Ah… Would that be ok?"

"Of couse. I can send you my schedule and then you can pick whichiever day would suit you best"

As an orphan he never got to experience what it was like having a family of his own. He never met his parents nor had any siblings to speak of. He lived with other kids at the orphanage sure, but he would hardly call his relationship with them or the staff as "familial".

"When I purchase something I take in consideration three things: Utility, space and time." Hunter explains."Take for example this vegetable cutter: You could argue that you don't need it as the same thing could be accomplished by using a knife but the amount of time it saves you while cooking makes it worth it. This model in particular doesn't take much space either and the design is easy to clean so it's pretty practical to mantain"

"Oh! I see" he turns the offered gadget around in curiosity. "Hey... Hunter? Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, feel free to ask me anything"

"The things you are telling me… Were you taught by your parents?"

"Yes. Some of them, but other tricks I learned on my own when I started living by myself"

"Is that so?" He smiles softly. "...It's something wonderful isn't it? Sharing knowledge and life experiences with another I mean. It makes me wonder if this is… What the so called "family bonding" is supposed to be like"

It was a nice thought to have. To think that he could have something to offer for others. To wonder about the possibility of having a family, a child of his own whom he could pass everything he learned. To help with someone's growth just like others did for him.

"You two seem to be getting along"

"Ah! Miller" Both chorused.

"I had a feeling that would would've been the case. You both share a similar disposition towards being dutiful, earnest and diligent after all"

"T-That's..." Safir sees as Hunter stutters and flushes a deep red.

"I never saw you being so enthusiastic like this before Hunter, it's kind nice" Miller chuckles. "Honestly even I felt tempted to buy this stuff, maybe I should drop more often at your home Safir to test it out?"

"Yeah, good thing Hunter decided to take the path of justice and be a cop otherwise we would have to deal with a scary scammer in our hands" Andrews nods jokingly.

"Why a scammer of all things? At least say I would be a good salesman" Hunter complains, making everyone laugh.

"Ok, jokes aside I guess it would be my turn now?"Andrews grins. "Miller told me you need help picking new clothes right?

Andrews, in contrast to the more reserved Hunter, was a mischievous and outgoing man. Friendly, approachable and the kind to encourage you in your exploits. He was a complete social butterfly.

"So, what kind of clothes are you looking for?"

"Well... I do, uh... "Parkour", so something sturdier?"

"Denim it is then. Pants, overalls or maybe even a jacket. It would also allow you to use cheaper fabrics underneath them. Thick wool would also do the trick" Andrews taps his chin as he browses through the clothes. "As for types of clothes you could wear... How about this one?"

"But isn't this one from the woman's section?" Safir blinks as he stares at the piece given to him: A cozy and thick sweater with a long knit skirt. "It is pretty, but would that be ok?"

"Men's clothes can be rather limited in selection, their designs are too samey in my humble opinion." Andrews ruffs. "It's a boon to be able to pull off those clothes so why not go for it?"

"You have a point." he looked at his reflection on the mirror, placing the clothes in front of him. It looked nice. Nicer and more fitting than he expected in fact. "That said, I'm stipulating a hard budget on it. Let's not go overboard with the purchases ok?"

"Okie-Dokie, you are the boss today" Andrews made a salute as if he was answering to a Sergeant.

"Pff... Ha... Haha"

He couldn't stop his giggling fit.

How reassuring.

"Is what I said that funny?" Andrews grins cheekily.

"I wasn't really thinking about it but I guess I WAS a bit nervous" he takes a deep breath to calm himself. "I knew that you two were good people, Miller told me as much, but I couldn't help but worry. The age gap and you being regarded so highly by Miller... But I guess that my fears seemed to be completely unfounded. You two are pretty easy to get along with"

"We should be the ones saying that. What if we were called "old farts" by someone younger? Man, I don't think our frail hearts would have been able to take it" Andrews dramatically wipes a imaginary tear from his eyes.

Another round of laughters.

He's glad he agreed to Miller's request.

"How about this one?"

"We already reached the quota, I think it should be enough"

"I can buy it for you, no problem"

"No, you don't really need..."

"C'mmon, it has such an unique style it would be a shame to pass it on! What if it goes out around the time you decide to buy it? Just this once should be fine right?"

"Still..."

"Nah, you know what?" Andrews swipes his credit card out. "You can't stop me from making bad life decisions!"

Oh? So that's how he wants to do things huh?

He tapped the charm infused with life force in his pocket.

"Just this much should be fine"

Before Andrews could move another step, he somersaulted above his head, easily snatching the card from his hand and landing with practiced grace.

"No. You do not" He waved the card in his hand. "Don't worry, I will give it back AFTER we finish our shopping"

"Wow! That's rare to see someone get the upper hand on you Andrews" Miller claps. "Good job Safir"

"Indeed. Kid is more shrewd than I thought" Andrews nodded, crossing his arms. "Very well, I will concede... For now"

He was smiling.

"Thank you for your cooperation"

He sighed in relief and smiled, glad that he didn't overstep any boundary.

Teasing and playful banter isn't something he was well versed with. For someone that lived most of his life in fear of displeasing others it wasn't something that came easy to him. People hurt him for little and disproportionately retaliated for less so he had avoided stepping out of his comfort zone as much as he could until now.

But watching the trio in front of him share in laughters as they playfully jabbed at each other he couldn't help but think...

Isn't that what it meant to be close to another? To find out where each other's boundaries lied? To be comfortable at sharing even silly moments and being able to laugh at them?

He chuckled to himself.

Now he found himself almost wanting to tease Saramsrein a bit.

"What kind of reaction he will have I wonder?"

-=-=-=-=-=-

"...Phew!" Andrews stretched, popping his back in place after dropping their shopping inside the car. "Mission accomplished!"

"Thank you two for your help" Miller smiled.

"It was a nice outing. I wouldn't mind doing something similar again" Hunter nodded as he placed everything in an organized and neat pile inside the trunk.

"I also think the same. I had a wonderful time, thank you" he laughed in agreement.

"Why are you guys talking as if it's time to say our farewells?" Andrews raises as eyebrow as everyone blinks in confusion."C'mmon, we worked really hard, now it's time to wind down and have some fun right?" A pause. "Not that all this shopping spree wasn't fun, but I mean we should do something more... "Recreational" if you know what I mean?"

"Hum... I guess you are right" Miller tapped her chin. "What do you suggest then dear partner?"

"Well..."

"...An indoor amusement park?" Safir blinks.

"Yep! This place has one, that's why I suggest for us to come to this mall" Andrews winks. "The rides here are nice even if it's not your thing. It isn't as scary as the big ones"

"But why an amusement park?"

"Well... Our lives don't lack any "excitement" I know, but sometimes it's nice to be able to have our fill of thrills without having to stress over possible dangers right?" Andrews explains as he pays for the tickets. "Just the normal kind of excitement. No jumping over crumbling buildings while being carried like a bag"

"Hey, I never once dropped you guys!" Miller protests.

"Miller, carrying us under your arms would hardly be called safe" Hunter deapanned. "I swear I lose years of my lifespan every time you do that"

This makes Miller pout again.

"Experiencing thrills for the sake of it huh?" Safir mumbles to himself.

"Hey guys I got the tickets! Let's go!" Andrews calls.

"...I think it's good thing" Miller inches closer, whispering to him as they wait in line for the ride. "Sometimes it's good to have a nice memory to be associated with your experiences"

Miller throws a quick glance at Hunter's direction, her eyes incredibly warm and fond.

Something told him that there was a story there, but he held back from asking.

After all he would have many opportunities to ask about it in the future, perhaps even from Hunter and Andrews themselves. It would be nice to get to know their perspectives too.

"And speaking of perspectives...."

The ride was surprisingly fun. He didn't have to concern himself with things like worrying over his step nor traversing dangerous paths. The belt and other safety procedures did a great job at reassuring him and as Andrews said he could enjoy the excitement and thrill without a care in the world.

"That was nice"

"Isn't it? I'm glad you liked it" Andrews grins, before turning to Hunter. "Hey Hunter what do you think? This ride wasn't that bad right?"

"Past me would never touch it with a 10 meter pole, but I guess... It wasn't as awful as I thought. Maybe whatever Miller makes us experience on a daily basis amped my immunity to this kind of thing"

"Hahaha! I guess so" Andrew barked in laughter. "Ah, speaking of Miller where is she?"

"She had to step out because she received a call"

"Oh. A call?"

Suddenly the once cheerful mood dropped.

"Why are you two..."

"I'm sorry everyone" Miller interrupted. "I... Was called for a case"

"Should we go too?"

"No." Miller shakes her head. "It's an "off-limits case" sort of deal."

Off-limits...

That meant it was a supernatural case.

"...I apologize for asking this but can I ask you two to take all the purchases to Safir's home in my stead?"

"Yes, of course"

They were both smiling as they helped Miller unload all the packages but... He could sense it. The deep heaviness in their heart. The restlessness. The worry.

"Then I will be off" Miller closed the door of her car. "Thank you two"

"Take care of yourself Miller"

"Will do"

And with that she was off.

"... Shall we go then?" Hunter was the first to break the silence.

"Ah... Yes"

They traveled completely in silence. The atmosphere so thick with tension that he could easily cut it with a knife.

"You are worried about her" He tried to start a conversation.

"Ah. Did you pick on that? My bad. We didn't mean to bring the mood down" Andrews replied. His voice lacking the earlier humor and laughter of before.

"We know Miller is strong. We know she can take care of herself" Hunter quietly spoke. "It's just that... Whenever a case like this comes up we get a weird bad feeling about it so we can't help it. Specially after everything she went through. We can't help but worry"

Safir recalls the articles Saram showed him about Miller's case. All the pain and suffering she went through. The lack of support, all the accusations, the hate she had to endure on her own.

That's why they were so devoted to her. To make up for the time they were unable to help her and to relieve her from the burdens she had to carry all by herself until now.

To reassure and remind her that she wasn't alone anymore.

What to say in a moment like this?

"Miller knows you two care" he carefully picks his words. "Which is why... She will answer in kind to your feelings. So keep having faith in her alright?"

"...Yeah, you are right, she never failed to answer our expectations" Andrews chuckles.

"That's the kind of person Miller is after all" Hunter agrees, a smile forming in the corner of his mouth.

"Thank you Safir"

Their auras...

They were serene now.

=-=-=-=-=-=

"...Thank you for helping me carry everything" Safir bowed his head as they finished taking out the last batch of things.

"No problem"

"Why don't you two take a small break? Would you accept a cup of tea? I plan on brewing Chamomile."

"Yeah, I think I will accept your hospitality" Andrews replies as he drops on a nearby chair, streching his limbs once again like a lazy cat.

"I will take the cup of tea" Hunter nods, sitting straight.

"While I brew the tea would you mind telling more about yourselves?" He hums as he fills the kettle with water. "Like... How was your first meeting with Miller? She never told me the specifics, so I'm rather curious"

"Ah. That..." Hunter awkwardly rubs the back of his neck.

"I wish I could say it was all daisies and sunflowers when we first met but that would be a lie. It was so... SO BAD. For both of us" Andrews weakly laughs. "If you knew our stories you would probably lose your respect for us"

"But your gazes are gently and warm now right?" He carefully pours the tea in the teacups, bringing his own cup as he sits closer to them. "And the same applies to Miller. It's clear how much she adores both of you"

He thinks back to his own first meeting with Miller. How skittish and wary he was. He wasn't acting antagonic towards her but he still treated her with caution, projecting past demons, assuming, in his own way, the worst of her.

But Miller was kind to him. She was patient. She understood where he was coming from and was always considerate of his feelings. Of his well-being.

It was the reason to why he came to trust her. Because of her endless compassion.

"Miller really has a way to put restless hearts at ease doesn't she?" he chuckles.

"Yes, she does" Andrews and Hunter respond in unison before laughing at their synchrony.

"If it's ok with both of you I would still like to hear about the story of how you met"

"Well, If you are really ok with it..."

Their story was something else.

Becoming bitter and apathetic after experiencing betrayal after betrayal and then unknowingly perpetuating the cycle by refusing to cooperate. The result of his actions ending up getting Miller hurt and then trying to turn a new leaf only for it to things to go to hell afterwards because of the "incident".

Hounding someone under a misguided attempt of enforcing justice, continuously hurting her with harsh words and actions, being stubborn and biased at first, trying not to acknowledge the truth out of pride, but slowly, but surely coming around to see who Miller truly was and doing his best to atone for his sins.

"It is still hard to know what she saw in us to give us a chance." Hunter spoke. "...But we are gladly that she did. Otherwise we would still be ignorant fools. We are grateful to her"

"But did you really change?"

"What do you mean?"

Thinking back to the way they behaved during their outing it didn't seem that it was that different from what they are doing before. At least in nature. Only the way they "approached" things that seemed different in his opinion.

"Apathetic disregard to an easygoing and friendly outlook. An obstinate vindictiveness to a compassionate and unyielding heart. Paranoia to prudence" Safir lists. "Two sides of the coin that could swing to either side depending on how you approach things."

It must have been the same for Saramsrein.

When he first listened to his story he didn't feel fear. He didn't feel disgust. In fact he didn't even want to criticize nor denounce him for his sins. Because forgiveness wasn't what Saram expected from him when he shared his deepest secrets. No, he wasn't expecting anything at all.

What Saramsrein was trying to do was to do right to him.

Because that was what he honestly believed i. That it was the correct thing to do. Just like his misguided attempts at emulating other demons or the retaliation towards those who sought out to harm his loved ones. Just like he him fumbling his attempts at being a good charge and now telling him about the dark parts of himself. Him being hated wasn't even a consideration because to him, what was the most important was the though of him deserving to know the truth.

"The truth..."

Saram wanted to tell the truth to those two as well.

"And after listening to their story? I can see why."

'I do plan to one day tell them everything. I just need to take small steps, one at the time, in order to prepare them for it. For the truth'

Miller seemed to think the same.

They deserved to know the truth.

"Say, you two..."

Do you want to know the truth?

[ihave1braincell]

I know that no one knows anything about my PJO OC’s but here’s something

Ok so, like, Safire has this thing of saying “imagine being *blank*” about something that she is or does. She doesn’t really understand most jokes but she saw this joke was trending and so she adopted it and now she hasn’t gotten over it.

She’s like “imagine overworking yourself so much and getting so many stress fractures on your legs that now you need crutches to walk on certain occasions all because you were sad your crush left. I could never.” She says, as she has crutches.

Oh she also would be a Tumblr freak if electronics were allowed

[mocha-gladiator]

ok well....I guess if Sorien is a made up version of Soren, and only really exists in-world, then I can create my own meaning for it I guess

I remember now what happened. I put "Safir" on his reference sheet because at the time I was still debating whether I wanted something that sounded good (Sorien) or something with deeper meaning (Safir means "mediator" or sometimes "sapphire") and I chose the one that sounded better to me.

that being said, I am having second thoughts about this decision

[loptgangandi]

also it’s been 857487538 years since anyone took a photo of me on horseback (I think the last time was Kyrgyzstan c. 2018???)

so have some shots of me and Safir from yesterday’s super low-key “show”

she’s baby <3

[train3r3than]

Specialstuck shiz :3

I wanna talk more about specialstuck cuz I’m evil and messed up UMM (U guys should ask me questions about it as well I wanna talk about it....hope my ask box is working I’m still very new to tumblr X.x)

Ok so I’ll start with classpect shit cuz classpects are my special interest (I’m sorry for autisming jk I’m literally am NOT !) 

Redd-Knight of Hope

Gren (Male)-Mage of Time

Blue (Female)-Thief of Space

Yellow-Sylph of Mind

Golden-Thief of Breath (of course of course U.U)

Silver-Rogue of Doom

Crysal-Seer of Life

Rubeie-Heir of Light

Safire-Bard of Heart

Emrald-Page of Blood

Dia-Sylph of Time

Pearle-Prince of Space

Wallie-Knight of Mind

Platna-Mage of Void

Blacke-Witch of Rage

Whitey-Maid of Hope

X & Y I have typed as Bard of Light and Witch of Breath respectively tho that’s bound to change as I haven’t read X and Y yet :[ Also their names names are Xero and Yolo but both just go by their first initial also yes Y’s name is literally Yolo in this AU it’s my AU I can do whatever the fuck I want.

Suny-Page of Rage

Moon-Seer of Life

[violettduchess]

Kissing prompt #33 for Pax? 🥰

She ran, the darkness of the tunnels not a hindrance but a comfort. Her hands brushed against rough stone walls, a Gordian knot of twists and turns. Coming here was reckless. She knew it. But the glittering palace lights, the too loud, saccharine voices that want and need and ask for her constantly had become overwhelming. 

She needed a space away. Just away.

Another turn and she found herself in front of an entrance she recognized. The sanctuary of Queen Safir.

The open sky above, brushed with the colors of sunset, was immediately soothing, a balm to the burning in her heart. She found a soft patch of ground to sit on, sinking down, boneless.  Her fingers skimmed the cool grass, then curled into the dirt. She willed the cool and the damp to seep through her skin and into her unsettled heart.

She was so lost in thought she didn’t notice him until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Startled, she opened her eyes, their aquamarine color incandescent with tears that freely slid down her cheeks.

“Pax.” His name was an exhale, wavering with emotion. She should pull herself together. Show royal fortitude. But there was something in his softly glowing eyes, the light under his skin, the gentle hand still on her shoulder that told her it was ok.

His other hand moved, signing.  Although she did not know the language, she was able to gleam the meaning from the tilt of his head, the concern etched into his handsome face.

“I feel….overwhelmed.” His hand on her shoulder gave a slight squeeze and the walls came crumbling down. Like poison seeping out of a wound, the words tumbled out of her, uneven, shaky, sometimes repetitive. The pressure of reigning. The incessant tug-of-war for her favor. The dirty dealings of court life. So far removed from the Wilds she knew, flung from a world she could maneuver to one riddled with traps and trickery.

She spoke until she was drained of words, until there was no sound but the soft stirring of the trees around them. Pax had not once interrupted her. He had listened, his hand steady on her shoulder, a soothing touch, the ballast of her unsteady ship of emotion. 

She took a breath inward. 

“Thank you”, she said, quietly. She turned to look at him and found his steadfast gaze on hers. He inclined his head ever so slightly in acknowledgement. When he removed his hand from her shoulder, however, her own shot out to grab his arm, the thought of him leaving her side sending a lightning bolt of apprehension through her body.

“Wait.” 

He paused, his head tilted slightly to the side in question, those glowing eyes searching her face.

And then she did something borne of pure impulse. She kissed him. 

Closing the distance between them, she reached up, drew his face to hers, and pressed her lips to his. His beautiful lips. At first they were firm, unyielding, frozen with shock. Her touch softened, her hands turning gentle as they shifted from holding him to cupping his face, her thumbs stroking his cheeks. Something changed in that moment, with that touch, and he gave in, his mouth now moving against hers, tenderly. 

She could feel her heart thrumming in her chest as they slowly broke contact. Afraid of what she might see when she opened her eyes, she kept them shut a moment, committing the feel of him to memory. Those softly glowing eyes of his might condemn her for her actions. They might narrow in consternation or widen with trepidation.

But when she opened them, there was none of that on his face. No anger or dismay or aversion.

He was smiling.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Tuesday, December 12

Wesley: I don't understand. Buffy: Well, I don't think I can talk any slower, Wes. I want to leave. Wesley: What? Now? Buffy: No, not now. After I graduate, you know, college? Wesley: But, you're a Slayer. Buffy: Yeah, I'm also a person. You can't just define me by my Slayer-ness. That's ... something-ism. Giles: Buffy, I know we've talked about you going away... Buffy: I got into Northwestern. Giles: That's wonderful news. Good for you. Wesley: All right, everyone. Monsters, demons, world in peril? Buffy: I bet you they have all that stuff in Illinois. Wesley: You cannot leave Sunnydale. By the power invested in me by the Council, I forbid it. Giles: Ah yes, that should settle it.

~~~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Before You Tell the Truth (Xander, T, Assassin‛s Creed xover) by madimpossibledreamer

A Surprise (Buffy/Spike, M) by TheHazCady

Romance and Regrets (Willow/Lake, G) by OveliaGirlHaditRight

The Dragon takes the Slayer () by WriterDMathis

Fool Me Twice (Buffy/Angel, M) by OveliaGirlHaditRight

Love Letters To Spike Ch, 3 (Buffy/Spike, G) by CecyTheRomanticist

Christmas Glow (Buffy/Spike, T) by honeygirl51885

Cross-Stitch (Buffy/Spike, Dawn, T) by ClowniestLivEver

The Christmas Mug (Buffy/Spike, T) by honeygirl51885

Agency Has It's Price, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, M by Desicat

Muddle (Buffy/Spike, T) by Holly

I Put a Spell on You (Buffy/Spike, M) by Rea

Everything (Buffy/Spike, T) by honeygirl51885

[Chaptered Fiction]

Vamp for Rent 13/18 (Spike/Xander, M) by Forsaken2003

equal and opposite reactions Ch. 1 (Jenny/Giles, T) by CallMeVampy

I'll Remember You. That Is All I Can Do. (Buffy/Angel, G) by buffytargaryen

Rockefeller Center (Buffy/Spike, G) by violettathepiratequeen

surrender your power ch. 10/15 (Buffy/Faith, E) by paperwasp

New York Ch. 32/43 (Xander/Giles, M) by drsquidlove

Strings Ch, 14/? (Buffy/Faith, E) by aliceinwonderbra

with the dawn of redeeming grace Ch. 4/? (Buffy/Spike, T) by winterlovesong

A Call From Beyond Ch. 6/7 (Ensemble, G) by CoffeeMilkLuvr

Swimming Against the Current Ch. 4/? (Buffy/Gage Petronzi, T) by

On the road Ch. 5/5 (COMPLETE) (Buffy/Giles, M) by DancingAngel0013

Freaky Things Ch. 1 (Buffy/Angel, G) by OveliaGirlHaditRight

Screwed, Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Holly

A Darkened Night of the Soul, Chapter 23-24 (Buffy/Spike, E) by In Mortal

Clarity, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, T) by cawthraven

Surviving Together, Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, E) by ionlylikebadboys

Slay Bells Ringing , Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, T) by all_choseny

The Neighbor's Point of View, Chapter 64 (Buffy/Spike, T) by the_big_bad

Want Take Have , Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Safire

The Vision Quest, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, E) by acb6293

The Life Before Us, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, M) by ClowniestLivEver

A Very Summers Winter, Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, T) by VeroNyxK84

Spuffy's Little Helper, Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, T) by Alyot

What the Drabble?, Chapter 53 (Buffy/Spike, M) by VeroNyxK84

It's not a one-night stand if it turns into two, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, T) by loveisntbrains

Poems in A Minor , Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, M) by all_choseny

The Merry Month of Magnus Presents... Rockefeller Center, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, G) by violettathepiratequeen

Twice Broken, Thrice Burnt, Chapter 22 (Buffy/Spike, E) by ClowniestLivEver

Transformed By Love Ch. 2 (Fred, T, Originals xover) by Buffyworldbuilder

The Yellowstone: A Safe Harbor Ch. 2 (Buffy, G, Yellowstone xover) by Buffyworldbuilder

[Reviews & Recaps]

i finished season 1 and these are my thoughts of it by Ok-Connection4791

PODCAST: Episode 7 - The Three and the Magic Number (Angel) by The Sunnydale Diaries

PODCAST: BTVS 505 - No Place Like Home by Another Buffy Podcast

PUBLICATION: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season Two, Episode Nineteen, “I Only Have Eyes For You” by The Solute

[Community Announcements]

Flash Fiction January and February 2024 by btvscrackships

[Fandom Discussions]

Spikes soul by Multiple Authors

S6 Buffy and Spike continued by AndHerSymbols and Stoney

how many monsters did buffy kill by snapping their neck? by sadhungryandvirgin

S7 Andrew by Agacat

S01E02 - first ever viewing by wilfsland

“They were hanging out for years and years and years and years." by alrtight

Amy, and lifespans, spoilers inside for new viewers, specifically S2-S6 by Xandertheokay

Is Tara in any of the Buffy novels? (Fanfic recommendations welcome too!) by 1r3act

When did Fred start having feelings for Wesley? by JellyfishDry9464

How do you guys think spike would've died at the end of his original run by docsharkboy

What if it had been Willow who had died instead of Tara? by daddyharrington

Why do you like Faith? by Limeila

On Buffy, Spike, and class by MistressGarlick

Which Halliwell sister would Willow and Tara get along with the best in terms of witchcraft? by jdpm1991

Jonathan's hot prom date by PotentialLanguage685

Best Willow moment? by JellyfishDry9464

When Jenny is the same age as Cordy by Almighty_Push91

Was Lilah The First? by vampslayer84

Seeing Red was an excellent episode by FeatheredDrake

Negative and positive experience with actors from the Buffyverse? by buffsterbot

correct me if I’m wrong? by pengchod

Camden Toy has passed away. by InfiniteMehdiLove

Why is Spoyce the only ship that should be sailing? by PotentialLanguage685

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

PUBLICATION: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel Actor Camden Toy Passes Away by SuperHeroHype

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