#saes story

[vxnuslogy]

— lost to time ft. sae itoshi

— warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?

— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

-

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!

……

is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums. 

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself. 

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

-

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.

……

you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

……

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently? 

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

-

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible. 

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

-

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

……

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

……

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

……

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

-

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!

……

sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends.  thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile. 

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own. 

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end. 

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go. 

and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

[iamabeaner]

yall know what would be interesting to write about?

i’ve been lately getting into yandere batfam x neglected reader

and i got a story idea and i want a writer to take it into consideration since im not a writer and would love to read a fanfic like that.

so basically

yandere batfam x neglect squid game reader.

where reader joins squid game desperate to get money even tho she’s a wayne but she doesn’t even want to use there money.

so what if the wayne’s are VIPS? they watch in horror seeing there daughter/sister in this place of places?

it crashed down to them that they never notice you gone.

you can write two separate endings, one where she dies in one of the games and the other is when she manages to be a victor, alongside gi-hun.

or another one where the wayne’s weren’t VIPS and found a very traumatized reader coming back.

and they wonder what was happening to her.

as they got to the bottom of it they realized how dark it was.

(maybe her love interest was sae-byeok? or some other character and then comes back to the games to try and get revenge for the person they fell in love with as they went with gi-hun for revenge.)

(after all she is a wayne falling in love with a person who ended dead)

(it was a doomed love anyways)

[ranzemn]

HOW'D THIS

TURN INTO THIS

[oddishblossom]

To shatter Itoshi Sae’s dream. That’s why I play soccer.

ITOSHI RIN — BLUE LOCK S2 EP33: Night Snow

[saintshigaraki]

when you go out to events with sae and you're trying to say something to him but it's so loud that it's hard to hear so he bends over a little so his ear is right by your lips....much to think about

[suguwu]

rin who has always had a crush on you, one of sae's best friends, and then drunkenly hooks up with you at sae's wedding when you're both in the wedding party

[lyxchen]

She was only in 3 episodes but Ji-yeong really made such an impact for me. She is such an interesting and tragic character. Like we meet her and she is so casual and unbothered by the games where every round she could literally die. And she makes fun of the religios man and tells him that he can pray as much as he wants but he still did what he did and then we learn about her father and then it makes sense. And she asks about Sae-byeok and her family and she suggests telling each other their story because one of them is gonna die anyways but she keeps forgetting about that fact. And then she tells her story and we find out she got abused and was in prison for killing her father but can we really blame her? And she just got out of prison and I feel like she needed this. Telling somebody her story, what happened to her. She suggests they tell each other the things they could never tell anybody else and asks specific questions on purpose, like if Sae-byeok has ever seen a dead body because she knows in return she is going to be asked that same question and she listens and then she tells her own story. And then she loses on purpose for Sae-byeok. And at first she's like "come on let me have my cool moment here" but it's not cool because she's about to die and then in the end she finally shows her emotions and gets sad and says she has nothing to live for, no goals for what she's gonna do if she wins. Sae-byeok was probably the first person she got closer to in a long time and so she dies so that Sae-byeok can go on and I just think for such a small role that was only present in one third of one season making such a big impact is incredible writing and incredible acting too

[frombloodandfire]

Indigo [3]

A woman who tries to escape her past with no hope for the future, ends up on an unknown place playing childhood games to win. A man from her past happens to be there for the exact same reason. Will they escape their haunted pasts? Or they will end up dying in vain?

Warnings: heavy language, violence, depression, death

A/N: Frontman’s wife didn’t have a name so I named her! (flashbacks are written a bit differently!)

3.

The knock at my door startled me, the sound jolting through the quiet chaos of my room. I rushed to answer, the weight of my exhaustion following me to the threshold.

"Girl, you have to stop studying until this hour. Thank God you've got me to look after you!" Yoon-suh stood there, a bag of food in her hands. She gave me a mock scolding look before pushing the bag into mine. "I figured you'd forget to eat, so I brought reinforcements."

I blinked, the unexpected gesture momentarily disarming me. "You really came all this way... for this?"

"Well, not just this." Her voice softened as she stepped inside and sat on the edge of my bed. The air shifted before she even spoke again. "I'm leaving. The day after tomorrow."

The words hit me like a slap. I stared at her, frozen, then slowly sank down beside her. "You what?" My voice cracked with disbelief.

"I'm so sorry, Lyanna. I wanted to tell you earlier, but... everything happened so fast."

"But why?" My chest tightened as frustration bubbled up. "We said we'd spend half the year together before... before anything like this!"

"I know," she said, her tone tinged with guilt. "But there's been a change of plans. Family stuff. I'm heading back to Korea to finish my last year of high school. It's better for me. I miss home so much."

Her hand slid over mine, warm and steady. But I couldn't steady the ache growing in my chest. Yoon-suh wasn't just my best friend; she was my anchor. The first person I trusted. And now she was leaving.

"Don't worry, silly," she said, her voice teasing to lighten the mood. "We've got it all figured out. This time next year, we'll be in Seoul, celebrating your acceptance into university."

"Yeah, if I even pass..." I muttered, looking down at the scuffed floor.

"Shush! I said what I said." She squeezed my hand, her smile radiating pure confidence. "Don't get all melancholic at seventeen. What'll you do when you're thirty-five?"

I laughed—barely.

"Ly, you're the smartest person I know," she said, her tone more serious now. "If they don't pick you, then who will? You're meant for this."

Before I could respond, she pulled me up and wrapped her arms around me in one of her signature hugs. Tight, unshakable, like she could transfer her confidence to me.

"I'll see you in Seoul soon," she whispered, her voice soft but firm.

I clung to her, the words heavy in my throat. "I'll miss you..."

She stepped back and looked at me, her expression full of certainty. "I always miss you when I'm not with you, Ly."

And just like that, she was gone, leaving behind the lingering scent of kimchi stew and the bittersweet warmth of her words.

They were now in the main room, sitting on the cold, hard floor. Silence clung to the air, suffocating and relentless. Most of them were trembling, some crying quietly, holding their knees to their chests like lost children. She sat next to Gi-Hun and the man who had saved him, directly across from Sang-Woo. Since the game ended, no one had spoken; they just stared at the ground, as if looking up would force them to face the reality of their survival.

"Sang-Woo..." Gi-Hun finally broke the silence. "Thank you." He turned to the other man. "You two saved my life..."

Sang-Woo had saved her too, but she didn't say a word. She didn't want to talk to him. At least... not now.

"I'm glad you're alive," answered the man beside Gi-Hun, his voice heavy with sincerity.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the pink-suited soldiers entered the room. Those bastards. The man with the ddakji. She hated them all now. Every single one. If she could, she would kill them, make them feel even a fraction of the terror they had inflicted on her and everyone else.

"Congratulations on making it through the first game," the square-masked soldier said, his voice devoid of emotion. "Here are the results. Out of 456 players, 255 players were eliminated. 201 players have completed the first game."

Gasps echoed across the room. Two hundred and fifty-five people dead... for nothing? For a stupid game? These were human beings with lives, families, dreams. And they were slaughtered during a game?

A woman stumbled to the center of the room and screamed, "Sir! Forgive me! I will pay off my debts no matter what. I will pay back at all costs..." She collapsed to her knees, sobbing. "I have... a child. I haven't even named my baby yet, so I couldn't register the baby's birth. Please, let me live!"

Her cries sparked a chain reaction. Others joined her, begging and pleading with the soldiers for their right to live. Lyanna stood still, watching them, her stomach twisting.

"There must be a misunderstanding," the square-masked man continued, unfazed. "We are not here to harm you or collect your debts. Let me remind you: we are presenting you with an opportunity."

"An opportunity? You call this an opportunity?" a man shouted, his voice filled with rage. "You make us play a children's game, then kill us. How is this an opportunity?"

"We may be in debt, but that doesn't mean we deserve to die!"

"This is just a game," the square soldier explained. "They were eliminated for breaking the rules of the game. As long as you follow the rules, you will safely exit this place with the promised prize money."

Chaos erupted as the players shouted and demanded to leave. Fear and anger swirled in the room like a storm.

She thought about the clauses they'd agreed to before this nightmare began.

"Clause One: A player is not allowed to voluntarily quit the games."

But no one cared. They threatened to call the police, their desperation rising. The square guard fired a shot into the air, silencing the room instantly. Everyone dropped to their knees except for her and Sang-Woo.

"Clause Two," the soldier continued, his voice calm but chilling, "A player who refuses to play will be eliminated."

Yeah, but what about Clause Three? She remembered it clearly.

In the suffocating silence, Sang-Woo's voice rang out. "Clause Three of the consent form: The games may be terminated upon a majority vote. Is that correct?" He stepped forward.

Classic Sang-Woo, always paying attention to the rules. She remembered the clause too but said nothing, clinging to the sliver of hope it offered.

"That is correct," the soldier said.

"Then let us take a vote. If the majority wishes to quit, you will have to let us go."

"As you wish," the square soldier agreed. "But before we vote... we will reveal the prize amount from the first game."

A giant piggy bank descended from the ceiling, and stacks of money tumbled into it. Her eyes, along with everyone else's, were drawn upward, watching the bloodstained cash fall like a cruel rain.

"Each player is worth 100 million won," the soldier announced. "A current total of 25.5 billion won has been accumulated in the piggy bank. If you quit the games now, the 25.5 billion won will be sent to the families of the eliminated players—100 million each. However, all of you will return home empty-handed."

Her stomach churned. 25.5 billion. Enough not just to pay off her debts but to leave this wretched country behind. To start fresh somewhere far away.

The begging woman spoke again. "Excuse me, if we make it through all six games... how much do we get?"

"There are 456 players," the soldier said. "The total is 45.6 billion won."

The announcement hung in the air like a spell. The vote began. They brought out a large box with two buttons: green for "Yes" to continue and red for "No" to quit.

The players stepped forward one by one. Gi-Hun voted first: red. No.

Then 453: green. Yes.

The votes came in, one after another. Red was leading until Sang-Woo.

Green. Yes.

Her jaw tightened. What the hell was he thinking? He had invoked Clause Three, given them hope and now he chose money over survival? She wanted to scream at him, but she didn't.

The votes continued. Green started winning. Tensions escalated as players argued and shouted, their desperation consuming them.

Finally, it was her turn. She felt Sang-Woo's eyes on her. She always could. For a moment, she hesitated. This could be her second chance, her escape. Or it could send her straight to her death.

Red. No.

Her vote tied the numbers.

The final vote came down to Player 001, the elderly man. He pressed the red button.

The "No's" had it.

Cheers erupted from those who wanted to leave, but she didn't join them. She stood motionless, her thoughts spiraling. What could her life have been with that money? Gi-Hun shook her arm, snapping her back to reality.

"If the majority of you wish to participate again," the square soldier warned, "we will resume the games. Goodbye, then."

Smoke filled the room before she could process his words. It clawed at her senses, dragging her into unconsciousness.

The next time she opened her eyes, she was half-naked, lying in the middle of a street with an eye mask on. The cold bit into her skin as disorientation clouded her mind.

"Fuck. Can someone untie me?" she groaned, wriggling against the bindings on her wrists.

"Lyanna?"

That voice. From all the people, it had to be him?

"Yes, it's me. Can you reach me?" she asked, her voice edged with frustration.

"Me too, sir, if you can!" came another voice, the man who had saved Gi-Hun earlier.

Sang-Woo freed her first, handing her clothes back with averted eyes, his movements respectful. She dressed quickly as he worked on untying the other man.

Why was he suddenly so considerate? Hours ago, he was ready to gamble with their lives in a death game.

"Sir, where are we?" the other man asked as he rubbed his freed wrists.

Sang-Woo glanced around, his sharp eyes scanning their surroundings. "Yeouido."

"Where exactly is Yeouido?"

"In the center of Seoul," Sang-Woo replied curtly.

"Do you have a phone, sir? Or miss? I want to make one call. Just one."

"Let me..." she offered, fumbling for her phone. She groaned. "Shit, I have no battery. Could my day get any worse?"

Sang-Woo pulled out his phone, but it refused to turn on. Of course.

While Sang-Woo headed into a local store to fix his phone, she and the other man sat near the corner, eating steaming bowls of ramyeon. The food did little to warm the cold knot in her chest.

Sang-Woo gave his phone to the man and he went to the other side of the store to speak. It was just the two of them now, her and Sang-Woo, after years apart. She tried not to look at him, but her resolve wavered. Finally, she glanced his way, only to find him already staring.

They held each other's gaze in silence, unspoken words thick in the air. She broke first, finishing her food in a rush and stepping outside. She couldn't handle it, not after years of trying to bury the past.

But he followed her. He lit a cigarette, the small glow a weak beacon in the dim night. It was their old habit. Whenever life fell apart, they'd share a smoke or ten, inhaling poison like it might cure the ache.

"Thank you, sir." the other man said, bowing politely. "Goodbye to both of you!"

"Wait," Sang-Woo called out, his voice firm. "Do you have money for the bus?"

"Sorry?"

"You said you live in Ansan. You couldn't even pay for the ramyeon. Do you have money for the bus?"

"I don't have money. I'll walk."

"There's no way you can walk all the way there. Forget about it!" she said, reaching for her wallet.

But Sang-Woo was faster. "Wait a bit and then take the bus." He handed the man some cash.

"I can't. I have no money. I can't pay you back."

"I won't ask you to. Just take it."

She stared at Sang-Woo, stunned. The kindness in his gesture reminded her of the man she used to know. The one who always wanted to help, even when he was drowning in his own mess. Why now? Why with a stranger?

"Thank you, sir!"

"I'm not your sir. Stop calling me that..."

"I'm sorry. Thank you."

"Take care." she said quietly as the man walked away, clutching the money like it was salvation.

She turned to Sang-Woo, her steps hesitant.

"You've changed..." he said after a while.

"You haven't," she shot back, a little too sharp.

That made him stop. He turned to face her, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Haven't I?"

She met his gaze, refusing to back down. "The Sang-Woo I knew wouldn't have risked his life for money. At least the old one."

"And the Lyanna I knew wouldn't have let herself get in debt." he countered, his voice low.

Her breath hitched. He wasn't wrong, but the words stung anyway. She looked away, biting the inside of her cheek to keep her emotions in check.

"I had no choice," she murmured.

"Neither did I." he stopped talking for a while. They kept walking, the distance between them shrinking with every step. The night air was cool against her skin, but she felt flushed, her chest tight with emotions she couldn't name.

"Where do you live?" he finally asked.

"I didn't move." she answered.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"I think I remember how to walk now, thanks."

"I'm talking about your safety."

"Why do you care?" She stopped and stared at him, her voice sharp. That question hit him harder than he expected. He opened his mouth to answer, but she cut him off. "You saved me in the game. And I'm grateful, but why?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Sang-Woo..."

"It's too late for this conversation. Maybe another day..."

"Another day? What another day? In prison? At our funerals? When?"

Her words stabbed at him, and he stopped in his tracks.

"Why are you in debt, Lyanna? You were the most logical person I knew. What were you doing in the games in general?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Fine. Neither do I."

"Always stubborn, aren't you?"

He stopped again and turned to face her. The frustration in his voice gave way to something softer, something more vulnerable. "Seriously? Stubborn? I asked if you wanted help. You don't? That's fine. Let's just go back to our miserable lives. Don't tell me anything about it. It's not like we'll meet again..."

"Yoon-Suh was sick. Very sick. And with a child," she admitted, her tone serious. "In-Ho didn't have the money, and we all searched for a way. One day, he disappeared. We couldn't reach him, and her condition got worse. I panicked and got scammed because I tried to find the moeny to save her. I lost both my best friend and all the money I had. That happened one year after you left."

Sang-Woo felt like the ground had shifted beneath him, his expression unreadable. She was alone. For years, she'd faced loss after loss, with no one to comfort her, no one to share the burden.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"Sorry doesn't fix anything, but its my miserable life anyway..."

He hesitated, then reached out, his hand hovering near hers. She stared at it, her breath catching in her throat. "I know," he said. "But it's all I have."

For a moment, she considered pulling away, letting the distance between them grow again. But then her hand moved, almost of its own accord, brushing against his.

It was such a small thing, barely a touch, but it felt like a lifeline.

They stood there in the middle of the empty street, the city lights casting a soft glow around them. Neither of them spoke, the silence between them filled with everything they couldn't say.

"So I guess our paths end here?" he hated the sound of it.

She would curse herself later for asking this but had no choice. She couldn't walk home alone in the dead of night. "Would you... would you mind walking home with me?"

And that's what they did. The two of them retraced a familiar path, the same one they'd walked together so many times, fifteen years ago.

The city lights flickered overhead, casting long shadows. They didn't speak again, the silence between them filled with memories and regret. Sang-Woo carried the weight of changing her true colors ever since he left her, how he failed her, while she clung to the dreams she'd never have.

As they approached her building, she paused, turning to face him. "Thanks for walking me home," she said, her voice quieter now.

He nodded, his expression unreadable. "Anytime."

She hesitated, then reached out, placing a hand on his arm. "Sang-Woo... I mean it. Thank you."

He looked down at her hand, then back up at her, his eyes dark and searching. "Take care of yourself, Lyanna."

"You too," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

As she stepped inside, she glanced back one last time. He was still there, watching her, his figure framed by the dim light of the streetlamp. The weight of her words pressed down on him, heavier than ever, thinking if this was really their last meeting ever, or maybe a second chance for a ruined past.

My father had died. Six days later, the results of my exams came in.

I couldn't get out of bed. My world felt like it had caved in, swallowing every shred of energy I had left. The house was silent, empty, and cold. There was no one to take care of me, no one to take care of the house. But I had to know. This was supposed to be my way out, my one chance to climb out of this suffocating darkness.

With trembling hands, I forced myself up and dragged my feet to the mailbox outside the house. My breath fogged in the cold air, and for a moment, I just stood there, staring at the box as if it were some joke.

Among the condolences and formal letters offering pity, I saw it—a thick envelope, the kind that screamed "good news."

I held it in my hands, my heartbeat racing.

University of Seoul.

I tore it open, barely able to breathe.

I got in.

I fucking got in.

My knees buckled, but I managed to stumble back into the house, clutching the letter like a lifeline. The tears welled up before I could stop them, but I didn't care. My fingers fumbled to pick up the phone, and I dialed the number that had been etched into my heart since I was seven.

"I GOT IN!" I screamed, my voice cracking.

"YOU ACTUALLY DID?" Yoon-Suh's voice erupted from the other end, her excitement spilling over in a flurry of joyous words. "I KNEW you could! Oh my god, Lyanna, I'm so happy for you. I'll finally see you again—I'm so, so proud!"

She was crying. I could hear it in the way her voice wavered, in the way she tried to steady herself.

"Start packing and come here as soon as you can," she continued, her words rushing out as though she couldn't say them fast enough. "You're perfect—your Korean is flawless, you're the perfect student, and now you've got the perfect opportunity. Forget everything there. You'll make a new start. You'll see, you'll fall in love with Seoul."

"I can't even talk—" My voice caught in my throat. "I just—I just wanted to tell you as soon as I read it."

"See you soon, love!" she said, her laughter mixing with her tears, and then the line went dead.

I stood there for a moment, the phone still pressed to my ear, as the reality began to sink in.

I was finally making my dream come true.

University. A new start. Opportunities. Seoul—a city Yoon-Suh had painted in my mind like a living dream since we were children. A language I'd poured myself into learning because I'd wanted to be there, to live there, ever since she came into my life.

But then my gaze fell on the stack of condolence letters I'd left on the table.

And I remembered.

I remembered how much my father had wanted to see me in university. How he had believed in me, supported me. How, in his last days, I had been too busy—too consumed by studying—to be with him.

The letter crumpled in my hands as a sob tore through my chest.

I cried for him, for the loss that would never stop aching. But amid the grief, a small, fragile seed of happiness bloomed.

This dream was his dream too.

And I promised myself I wouldn't let it slip away.

[smilesrobotlover]

Whumptober day 31- asking for help

And that’s the end of whumptober 🥺🥺 I just wanna take a moment to say thank you for those who read my fics this month and for listening to my many rambles haha. I appreciate the comments and reblogs on these fics and I appreciate the support! It was a challenge for sure but I’m so proud of completing yet another year of whumptober, and having it be a coherent story! After last year when a story formed at the end, I knew I wanted to do it again but with the whole month, and it was a challenge but I could feel myself improve in the middle of the month! Thanks again and I hope y’all enjoy this softer day 😊

~~~~

Leon stared blankly at the thicket in front of him, his back turned to the group as he sat away from them on a log. He was picking at his hands, his mind blank as he heard soft chatter behind him, the chatter of his friends. The only relief he had from everything was knowing that despite the puppeteer’s trick, Leon had tricked him as well.

“He has my son,” Leon had explained to Rusl while hugging him by the river, his voice as soft as it's ever been as he said it directly in his ear. “He wants me to kill you for him and I don’t know what to do. He’s watching me.”

“We’ll figure it out,” he whispered back to Leon, instantly understanding the situation, and he left to explain it to the others. They devised a plan to fake their deaths, even going as far as to burn their clothes after Leon had “killed” them to make it seem more real. The men had executed their plan perfectly, explaining it to Leon through a crumpled piece of parchment Rusl handed to him when he returned. It was difficult to read without the puppeteer knowing, but Leon was able to do so, and he followed through with the plan.

The puppeteer tried to trick him into killing his friends, but he was unsuccessful, and it gave Leon some peace of mind.

Though his friends were just… too good at acting. Even though he knew he was pretending to kill them, the very idea of actually doing it was too much to bear. He couldn’t ever hurt them, no matter how annoyed he got from them, or how furious he got, he could never hurt them of his own free will. Leon’s breath hitched as he rubbed his hand, the phantom pains from the healed bones shooting through his arm, and the bitter taste of a red potion lingered in his mouth.

“Hey.”

Leon turned to see Rusl holding out a cup to him, a soft smile on his face.

“Some tea to help calm the nerves,” he explained, and Leon took the cup, giving Rusl a grateful nod. Before he could turn back around, however, Rusl stopped him, gesturing to the rest of the group. “Come join us, will you?”

Leon was reluctant, but nodded, knowing that he'd been sulking for long enough. He owed the men an explanation and an apology for everything. His friends watched him as he sat down with Rusl by his side, and he looked down at the cup of tea, avoiding their gazes. They were all wearing different clothes after burning their old ones, save for a few articles of clothing that were sentimental to the men. They looked different—they looked stronger. Leon sighed, rubbing the rim of the cup as they continued to stare, as if waiting for him to speak up.

“I-I’m so sorry,” he finally said, “I’m sorry for everything I have caused and… for any stress that may have come from this.”

“All is well Leon,” Talon said, the men all muttering in agreement. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“No, it was my fault,” Leon pushed, “I fought the monster on my own instead of getting you all to help me and I got myself captured and—“

“Hey, it’s ok, it all worked out in the end,” Talon continued, but Leon shook his head.

“But I risked your lives! You all could’ve died if I hadn’t been so careless!”

“But we didn’t,” Rusl said firmly, “you still made sure we had a chance for survival despite the risks!”

“Yeah!” Benji jumped in, “how else were we supposed to come up with a plan without you telling Rusl?”

Leon looked down, still feeling guilty over everything. “It’s my job to protect you all.”

“You put too much on your shoulders for us, Leon,” Kass said, and Rusl nodded.

“It’s all of our jobs to protect each other. We’re a team for that reason.”

Leon sighed and looked down, nodding slightly. “I know… but—“ he sighed again, resting his face on his hands. He was so tired.

“It’s ok, Leon,” Rusl pressed.

“Yes, if I was out in your situation, I don’t know what I would’ve done,” Ammon jumped in. “You acted very wisely despite all that was given to you.”

Leon shook his head that was still resting in his hands. “I still could’ve done better.”

The men grew silent this time, the sound being his heavy breathing as he tried to get himself under control.

“Well, I guess there were things you could’ve done better,” Linebeck finally spoke up, and Leon peeked through his hands to look at him. His arms were crossed as he stared at him, a firm look on his face. “But the point is that we survived. You survived and so did your kid. So it’s time we stop thinking about what we could’ve done and focus on what we do next. Ok?”

Leon blinked, shocked into silence, but he slowly nodded his head. Linebeck was right, there was no reason to dwell on the past. In the end, everything turned out fine despite the emotional turmoil it caused him—it was better than it ending up with everyone dead after all. But…

“I j-just need a moment,” he stammered, shame apparent on his face, but he knew he had to be open with them. “I don’t think I can go on like th-this, I’m sorry.”

Linebeck’s expression softened and he nodded. “Of course. We don’t need to move on yet. We can just… be here in the now.”

The rest of the men agreed, and Leon looked down as the tears started to form in his eyes. Goddesses, he’s been crying so much lately….

“I just… thought I finally had him,” Leon whimpered, “I thought I had him in my arms but it was just a fake. I almost went home without him!”

“The puppeteer is a sick man,” Rusl commented, rubbing Leon’s back in small circles, which calmed him. “My guess is that it was his plan from the start, but he needed the real one to get you to believe him.”

“At least he’s ok,” Kass said, “he’s with the Links, right? I’m sure he’s safe and sound now.”

“Yeah, thank the spirits.”

Leon nodded. He was eternally grateful that his son was at least alive and safe from the puppeteer. But he still hoped that he’d be able to finally reunite with him—he hoped that they could be led to the rest of the Links. But they were back to searching for clues, running in circles in a desperate attempt to find them while nearly dying in the process.

“Hey,” Ammon started, rubbing his beard, “since the Links saved Leon’s son, then surely they’d be… somewhat closeby, right?”

“We don’t know when they came, is the problem,” Benji said, “they could be long gone by now.”

“But we’re closer than we’ve ever been before,” Ammon continued. “They must be somewhere in these woods, right?”

Leon blinked, his breathing evening out as he thought about it. They were closer than they’ve ever been before; even if the Links arrived way before he had, they definitely were still in these woods. Maybe there was hope…

“Well, we can go searching tomorrow,” Rusl commented, looking up at the golden sky. “I think it’s getting too late.”

Rusl glanced down at Leon who was sitting up now, his eyes puffy and red. Leon glanced back up at him and he nodded.

“I agree. We can search tomorrow and hopefully find their trail,” he said, feeling a bit more energized with the sliver of hope in finding his son. The men all nodded, smiles on their faces as he stopped moping slightly, but Leon glanced around and frowned, looking down at the ground once again. “I—I just want you all to know that… I never want to harm any of you. That’s why I’m so… disturbed right now—that and my son—but… you all were so… decisive and…I—thank you.” Leon let out a sigh, his eyes closed as he nodded his head. “Thank you. For helping me despite the risk. I-I’m glad to have met all of you.”

“Aw, Leon.” Taon got up from where he was sitting and walked up to the man, his hand resting on Leon’s shoulder. “You need a hug, buddy?”

Leon was hesitant, but he honestly needed one, so he nodded with an embarrassed look on his face. Talon chuckled and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him close so Leon could lean on him. He instantly melted into the hug, wrapping his arms around Talon and clinging onto him as if his life depended on it. There was shuffling behind him, and he felt Rusl lean on him, joining in on the hug.

“Oh I need to get in on this action!” Benji exclaimed, ramming into Talon.

“Oh—I guess we’re hugging now,” Ammon muttered as Kass led him to the hug, and he reluctantly stood there with Kass wrapping his wings around everyone.

“Uh, I’m gonna stand over there,” Linebeck started, but Rusl grabbed him and forced him back to the group hug, which he begrudgingly joined. “There there Leon,” he muttered, patting his head, which made Leon chuckle slightly. It felt nice to laugh after the past few days, and it truthfully felt nice to be held. He was still tired and distressed, but the weight felt lifted slightly by those around him, his chest felt looser, and he felt warm. As long as he could rely on these men, he knew that they’d all survive, that they’d be victorious.

As long as they stuck together, they were going to be fine.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Akechi voice: “Haha I’m fucking miserable :) Anyways nice café! Did you know that my mom died and nobody ever wanted me. This is some really nice coffee. I think we must be connected by fate. Hi Futaba-chan. Thoughts on the Phantom Thieves? Anyways, this place is lovely. I’ll be back.”

[fanficfr3ak]

Someone actually make a fanfic about Ryusei and Sae being two best friends in a shared apartment who DEFINITELY kiss

[okthatsgreat]

i’m realizing that one of my favorite ways to create a character is by first establishing a major flaw of theirs and then examining how that will inevitably fuck them up a bit. then fleshing them out from there

[chodzacaparodia]

Someone: What shouldn't your potential partner be like?

Me: He can't be selfish. Egoists are the worst.

Also me, simping over Blue Lock boys: They... they are exceptions...

[soundlessroom]

My favorite sentences in each chapter.

Chapter 3 is not yet online though, so far I plan one chapter per month to not overwhelm anyone with reading it.

[blue-thief]

i always had like a general vibe of what sae went through spain but i could never express it in words properly/why i believe what i believe. but i just realized that i've been speculating that whatever he went through in spain was probably similar to what matsuoka rin went through in australia

[cathodic-clairvoyant]

There's a lot about discussion of hdwr that baffles me (not all discussion to be clear, because i do think there's a lot of good discussion about hdwr. But equally so are there the ones that make you wonder if you're reading the same story) and I think one that is especially annoying is the constant infantilization of miwa as this passive eternal victim. It drives me up a wall because this is quite literally an issue she's struggled with within the text of the story! She had an arc about how she dislikes how people treat her this way like towards the beginning of the story! And like even ignoring that, this story is about like nuanced and realistic portrayals of being in relationships and learning how to navigate them and so it's like what's the point if you're going to immediately reduce the characters to "the victim" and "the victimizers?" Is that even interesting? Is that a useful lens to look at interpersonal relationships?