#anyway the moral of this story is sae wants to hear what you have to say !

[saintshigaraki]

when you go out to events with sae and you're trying to say something to him but it's so loud that it's hard to hear so he bends over a little so his ear is right by your lips....much to think about

[saerins]

°୨୧ MORAL OF THE STORY

+ sae x f!reader | wc 2k | content: both of them are just kinda selfish in their own ways, angst, mentions of alcohol

notes: haha hi guys …. i’m totally not in love with sae . totallyyyyyy … ( kidding i need help sos ) (∘⁼̴⃙̀˘︷˘⁼̴⃙́∘)

summary: you and sae have been in love with each other since high school. during your special day, he throws you a curveball.

everything’s in full swing.

dinner is ongoing, the meat station being particularly popular, as you expected. all your old friends from different schools are mingling along so well, just like you imagined they would. everyone’s excited for the big day tomorrow, and so are you.

as you watch everything unfolding from the balcony, you can’t help but smile. one step closer to tomorrow, one step closer to forever.

unlike everyone else, you abstain from drinking yourself silly. they can afford to be hungover tomorrow, but not you. won’t be good to see the bride throw up all over her wedding dress.

“you look pretty like this.”

turning around at the man who has your full attention, you smirk. “just like this, itoshi sae?”

there’s a pink flush on his cheeks and you have a hard time gathering whether it’s from your words or the liquor. sae’s only a little tipsy—not enough to consider him drunk. but he chuckles though, and it has your heart beating faster; he still has the same hold over you like he did way back then.

nothing much has changed since you first knew him. he’d always been special to you, and you, to him.

“all the time,” he corrects himself, both elbows leaning on the railing, looking at the sea view before the two of you.

giggling, you mirror his position, bare arm brushing the sleeves of his expensive suit. “i’m sure you know i feel the same,” you tease him back.

sae laughs a little harder, and it’s refreshing to see his usual stoic expression turn soft. “of course i know,” he says before turning to look you in the eyes, those teal tones forever magic when they stare at you. “i’ve known since you started having that crush on me back in high school.”

you groan, covering your face. “see, i knew you’d bring that up!” you complain, embarrassed. it’s kind of humiliating whenever he brings that up—it’s his worst blackmail material. “shush—i don’t want anyone to know. no mentioning it in any toasts or anything, okay?” your cheeks are heating up by now, and you have to pout.

the man beside you only continues laughing, both of you enjoying just existing in the moment, and even though he doesn’t say anything, you know he won’t say shit about that. because he always listens to you.

everyone else is still inside, preoccupied by the games hosted by the emcee.

“hey, y/n?” sae speaks up as your laughter drowns out.

you turn to him, narrowing your gaze and smiling, wondering what to expect from him—as you always are, because sae’s good at surprising you and you love that. “yes, mr itoshi sae?”

there’s a small pause as he swallows the lump in his throat, his eyes still gazing at you, from your hair to your nose to your chin and back at your eyes. “i’m in love with you.”

at that moment, time stands still and there’s a ringing drowning your ears, a silence swallowing you whole. it has you doubting whether it’s really him in front of you, saying the words you’d always wanted to hear from him.

“what—”

“i love you, y/n.”

and by all means, it should’ve been a happy occasion. you’ve dreamt of this moment happening over and over and over again. back then, you envisioned something different.

you and sae, twenty-three, finding out where your life paths are going, converging together and deciding to fuck what everyone thinks and go for it anyway. you and sae, twenty-four and making it past the one-year mark and defying everyone else’s expectations (including your own). twenty-five and thinking why neither of you thought to try sooner. twenty-six and knowing you’re set for the rest of your life.

that’s how it was supposed to be.

but at eighteen, sae had left without a word after your confession, a selfish choice. at nineteen, your friendship was reduced to one-sided texts while sae was off trying to piece his future. at twenty, you’d given up and let sae turn his full attention to soccer, while you’d hold no grudges and finish your studies. by twenty-two, you’d met someone who always put you first, someone who always knew what to do to make you feel better. someone who’s good for you.

“what are you doing, sae?” you ask him, nostrils flared from all the emotions threatening to spill out of you. it was easy to convince yourself that you no longer felt anything for him when he wasn’t here to tempt you, wasn’t here to taunt you for giving up. but since he’s been back for the past year, it proves to be difficult to suppress all the old feelings you’d tucked away.

sae takes his time to answer, because he doesn’t know either. he doesn’t fucking know why he’s only telling you this now, when he’s felt this way since you were both sixteen. when you’re both ten years older and living very different lives. when you’re about to marry someone else that isn’t him and it’s driving him crazy.

“i don’t know,” he answers honestly, suddenly realising the gravity of what he did and looking away ashamed. “i just… i love you. ever since we were younger, i- i’ve always felt the same.”

he did, and he still loves you. he was stupid when he was younger. he left and made stupid decisions like not even trying to talk to you because he didn’t know what the fuck he should do and now no excuse would be good enough to convince you to choose him. there’s no reason for you to. you’re about to marry someone who’s so obviously in love with you. someone who shows you off everywhere, someone who treats you the way sae wish he did since all those years ago.

what is he even doing? he doesn’t even know.

whenever he thought about how you’d react if he ever told you those words, he didn’t think you’d be like this; silent, tears flowing out your eyes, the cold creeping up your cheeks and bare arms and making you shiver.

“i wish…” you pause, looking him in the eyes. “i wish you’d said that before it was too late.”

he’d seen that coming. of course there wouldn’t be anything different to this story, not even with his confession. except, maybe, the nostalgia of getting a chance to say everything he never did, to the girl who always deserved it the most.

despite every single part of him that is screaming at him that whatever he’s thinking about is wrong, that people shouldn’t do this to the bride the night before the wedding, that little volume of alcohol inside him provides all the rush he needs. a swift sweep of the surrounding scenery is all he needs to know nobody’s watching, and before either of you really know it, sae’s lips are on yours and you’re so conflicted it’s criminal.

of course, you’re the one who pulls away—but there’s never disdain in your eyes when you look at him. a mercy he shouldn’t be able to afford but he does, only because you’re a saint compared to him.

it’s selfish; he’d always loved you, always wanted you, always never knew what to do with himself but now he’s dragged you down this rabbit hole and the aftermath isn’t particularly sweet. you’re sweet, though, the taste of cake that lingered on your tongue.

“i’m sorry,” he settles for, and the perplexed expression behind your eyes just serve to make him hate himself for this. he should.

you clear your throat, sniffling down your emotions before straightening yourself up and offering him a smile—one laced with ten years of melancholy and a lifetime of sae’s regrets.

“i’m sorry too,” you tell him, and part of you doesn’t know what you’re apologising for. is it because he realised his feelings too late and doesn’t stand a chance right now? is it because you’re consoling him for his loss? or is it because you’re thinking that if he had done this even just a few weeks earlier, maybe you would’ve changed your mind? that’s something to be sorry to your fiancé at the time for, right?

there’s a dull ache in your heart that’ll be hard to extinguish. it’s a sorry state to be in especially when tomorrow should be one of the biggest days of your life, but you’ll manage, just like you always have. the little girl inside of you is happy, even if just a little, even if this situation is a little questionable. but the boy she’s loved her whole life finally has the guts to say that he feels the same way.

all too little too late; now he’s just the lingering feelings of what should’ve been that you need to say goodbye to no matter how much your selfishness never wants to let go.

taking a step back, you purse your lips into a thin smile and reach your hand out. sae shakes it, the sad deformation of your friendship turning into plain formalities. “thank you,” you say, trying your best not to let any more of the pain show, “for everything.”

for being the first person you ever really considered a friend. for being the first person who always protected you from the storms. for being the guy who became most of your firsts. for loving you too, this whole time. there’s a lot you want to thank itoshi sae for—but where you’re about to go, the phase of life that you’re going to enter, it’ll know no peace if you allow sae in it.

this might be one of the last few times you ever speak to the love of your life.

sae chuckles weakly, the strength in his grip fading. “i should be the one telling you that.” you were an integral part of his youth after all. you’re the only one for him, and that’s all that has to be said. only person outside of family he truly cares for. only person he’d ever give his heart to. only person that can demand anything of him and he’ll follow through. only person that can possibly ruin him.

only person that he wonders what it’d feel like if he ever heard you say it back.

but he knows he’ll never get it.

“maybe… in another life,” and a small smile is all you can offer before you have to pull away, the tenderness with which sae holds you rivaling that of your fiancée’s.

in another life, he’ll definitely find you. he’ll find you and keep you and make sure he isn’t as stupid as he was back then.

but as he lets your fingers slip through his hand, as he watches you retreat to your future husband—he knows that this life is what matters now, and this life is where he’ll never be happy. and as the groom slowly looks away from you, to sae, and nods like he now knows yet does nothing about it, sae hates him even more.

he’s perfect for you. with you. both of you seem like you’re cut from the same cloth. everything sae could probably never measure up to.

so he gets ready. gets ready to go back and have an early night. gets ready to watch you vow yourself away to another man right in front of his face. gets ready to sideline himself and say goodbye to the one person he ever loved.

on your wedding day, that’s when the two of you see the last of each other; the remnants of your friendship being kept in the form of a photo in your form—groom on one side, sae on the other. even years after the fact, even when your phone’s been changed twice, thrice, how many ever times—it’s still there, stagnant in your album, never discarded.

on another side of the world, the same happens with sae. it’s there, as though it’s engraved in the album, favourited and kept hidden. petty as it is, the version of the picture in sae’s phone has your husband cropped out.

through all these years, sae keeps staring at it whenever he thinks of you, wondering what could’ve been.

[retphienix]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Okay.

So, I genuinely can't say if this is a side effect of my elongated playthrough, or if it's simply "How my brain would handle this in real time" but regardless my experience is thus:

I was suspicious as HELL of Akechi at the start because he heard Morgana. But I relatively quickly excused this as something "else", like maybe he was preconfigured for this kind of thing kind of like being psychically sensitive or what have you.

And even when I WAS suspicious of him, I was suspicious on principle, not in a specific "He's responsible for the mental breaks" way- I never once suspected him of that and again that's where my question of "Is this how I'd always think it through, or is this because I played this game over 6 months"

But here we are!

I fucking love that Morgana and Joker both noticed Akechi's initial slip- I really really fucking love that because Morgana is often portrayed as being either too immature, too confident, or just having slightly too big of a head to understand and notice such small details; but they've also proven themselves to be very competent despite that.

IE, I could totally buy them overlooking it on the basis of "Huh, must have been a mistake, anyways back to being the coolest phantom thief around :3" but them NOTICING is still somehow entirely in character and just feels cool as hell.

I don't say this lightly, I'm on the edge of my seat here, I loathe that I'm taking short breaks to type any of this simply because I Want To Know already.

It's a sort of realization that feels like an honest to god backstabbing from a friend.

Like, hear me out a second.

I KNOW Akechi's entire social link is showcasing just how intense their rivalry is and that he's, by definition of his own hatred for everything we are, not our friend. But this still has been a full palace and a lot of dialogue leading up to the conclusion that Akechi seemingly has or at one point had good morals.

We really fit so neatly into being opposite sides of the same coin- damned to hate each other and the other's methods- but striving for the same conclusions- that to now see evidence to the contrary~

Evidence that Akechi has supposedly-

because I'm forever cursed to offer the benefit of the doubt even as I literally hear Akechi say he wants to kill us because I like him so much

-become corrupted by his ideals and despite cursing us for our vigilante methods- he's supposedly following orders from the director or that dickhead politician to do just the same but with a less personable morality and more of a "Big picture" (and only big picture) morality.

It honestly feels like I got to know someone who's entirely different from myself, but is still a good person fundamentally.

Like, my opinion of him was even given a chance to be challenged, changed, and reinforced through this story: Do you remember when Sae was being maliciously corrupt in her methods towards Sojiro and I was like "That's super fucked up!" and then Akechi "seemed" to support her and I was like "That's super fucked up!" and then Akechi revealed that he had no idea exactly how shitty her methods were- and once confronted with that truth his opinion flipped and I was like "Oh! He's actually a good lad :) He was ignorant of it and now that he knows the details his morality doesn't stand in line with that!"

That small ride of my opinion on him did a lot to cement a trust in him, and now that trust is being spat on and I'm like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no idea what comes next. I have no idea to what degree he is the traitor IE if he's the mental break culprit as well.

I know it's being painted PRETTY CLEARLY but even as I type I'm left instilling a sense of ambiguity to his role.

I am being presented with information that pretty much confirms he sold us out, he's the traitor to the PT at the very least.

I know he's been to the metaverse before, which aligns with him being the culprit.

I know that he wants us dead, which aligns with using us as a scapegoat to hide that he's the real culprit.

But the way I see it there's a few potential next steps.

He could just be the guy, 100%, which would mean he is far more clever, charismatic, and manipulative than I've given him credit for up until this point.

This would align with the general air the game has applied to him; But I find small... not contradictions so much as road bumps in that, such as his reaction to Sae's handling of Sojiro. (link to relevant posts in reblog because tumblr honestly seems uncertain if links [even to other tumblr posts] are allowed in tags or not)

I could see a character having a twisted sense of morality that demands professionalism and a refusal to make false claims while still happily killing hundreds to thousands of people just to make sure the status quo is maintained- but I don't know if Akechi is that or not.

I could see it! But I also can easily not see it.

I could also see him simply being a traitor to us, and that's it. It would offer the road bump of him not supporting Sae's "crack a few eggs" method, but it would still work in the sense that he DOES 100% unequivocally think we are bad. The PT are bad, shitty, horrible, a blight, Just As Bad As The Mental Breaks, Risky, and the best way to truly kill this snake is to remove its head.

He could simply think, perhaps rightfully so, that we wouldn't uphold our end of the bargain- that we would change Sae's heart and then be unsatisfied with the fact that we aren't helping to find the true culprit anymore- so his means of silencing the PT and directing attention back to the true culprit would be to kill off Joker.

But then this opens its own can of worms and seems less likely because of the consequences of it. Yes he wants us gone, 100%, but he also wants the culprit gone in this hypothetical, and scapegoating us doesn't solve that issue, it solves one issue and gives the other (ARGUABLY MUCH BIGGER) issue a free pass for a while.

UNLESS~~~~~ Third option, he is a traitor to us alone, isn't the culprit, but works for the director and directly or indirectly supports the true culprit, knowingly or not.

Meaning he wants us gone, that's what he's doing, and he's okay with the can of worms of the culprit getting off scot free because he's working under the assumption the culprit is a vital and necessary tool for those above him.

Well that was fun to hypothesize.

He's probably just the culprit and has had his sense of justice corrupted far further and for far longer than Sae, perhaps groomed into this position from the very start of his "Young Brilliant Detective" days.

I felt compelled to hypothesize the ways in which he might not be the culprit mostly because of what I mentioned earlier in this post: His betrayal honest to god FEELS like a betrayal, like a character I was tricked into trusting !WITH THE FULL KNOWLEDGE THAT OUR ALLIANCE WAS LOFTY! has betrayed me after honest to god earning my trust on his sense of morality. He got me, so I rambled, let's see the truth then :)

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Did the PT really steal/take their targets’ hearts? (theory) *spoilers*

Ok so as I was falling asleep at 2 am this hit me (so sorry if it’s muddled, or gets confusing)…. So I know there are people who are talking about how the PT kids made their targets into essentially “zombies” and “took away their free will” (or at least something similar to that), and how the kids could really be viewed as the bad guys, and they aren’t wrong. It’s a totally valid argument, and I kinda agree with them. The kids did change the people against their will (at least from what we can tell). There’s some good grey morality going on here, too bad Atlus didn’t explore it really (even tho they brought it up early on, really screw you Atlus). But then….I started thinking about it…did they really?

Ok so we know that they steal the treasure cause it’s the manifestation of people’s distorted desires (and the Shadow Selves protect it like crazy). And we know we can change people’s hearts without stealing treasure (as apparent with Sae)….. but what if they already did this prior to Sae? Take Kamoshida, sure he gives his crown over to the kids after defeat, and I would say this would damage what I say next but it doesn’t seem to effect the Shadows (or the host for that matter, not until the Shadow returns to the host) right away, but you tell him to atone for his crimes and Kamoshida is like pretty much “Yeah, you’re right, I will do that!” before fading and returning to his host. Madarame is similar, tho his was under more forceful you could say, cause Yusuke stood over Madarame and told him to “swear to atone” (note this is prior to anyone touching/taking the treasure), while Kamoshida was more like “you should do that” (I should also note that he actually handed the treasure over, not sure if this is important but might as well state it)….but there’s also a moment soon after where Madarame asks Yusuke what to do and Yusuke pretty much tells him to end his charade). Anyways, both bosses swore to atone….and they did….ok. So….does this mean they changed because their treasure was stolen? Or because they got called out, which lead somewhere in their conscience they were like “woah bro we did some messed up things! We should feel bad.” Did they force change someone’s heart or bring their conscience back into the light? For Kamoshida and Madarame, I feel like they didn’t force them (by which I mean cause the treasure was stolen), they just brought their crimes into the light and then felt bad about it…..considering I’ve heard from Yusuke’s CoOp about Madarame, it might be true.

I can’t really say about Kaneshiro, we don’t see his confession iirc, and he doesn’t seem like he would atone like the previous two (instead opting to make him smug as he tells the team about some other Persona user). So this might be where they first actually force changed someone’s heart…..then again it could’ve been because of shoddy writing (Kaneshiro wasn’t the greatest villain tbh). Anyway, he’s up for debate.

Now for Okumura, the second line he says after his boss battle was “I’ll call off your marriage Haru” (and this is even before they touch the treasure). I should also note that as they leave, Haru gives one final piece of advice to her father (similar to Yusuke’s final line at Madarame) and calls him out to take responsibility. In which he later follows up on doing so.

Sae….well we know what happens. But tbh, she wasn’t nearly as bad as anyone above her, and throughout the course of the game it can be argued that she had a preexisting condition, which is Makoto telling her that the PT are “good” and “justice.” Sae is def the outlier of the rest of the bosses. Anyway, even if they did “steal” her heart, I doubt she would’ve made as big of a spectacle of herself as…tbh she wasn’t really that bad. She would’ve apologized but she wouldn’t have broken down like the others imo.

With Shido, the do tell him within the first few lines to “atone.” He acknowledges that he falsely accused the MC, and apologizes for it. Even calling it “sincere,” the I dunno if he’s serious or not, you can ask (I didn’t find anyone who asked so I dunno what he says). But you can also tell him to confess or atone for his crimes, which he’s states “yeah that may be good.” And this is all before they even touch the treasure (heck they haven’t even seen it yet).  Host!Shido senses a change in heart right then, they didn’t even steal his heart/treasure/distorted desires yet and he’s already feeling a change in heart (hence why he took the medicine). They were changing it before even stealing the treasure…and since it happened very similar to Kamoshida, Madarame, and Okumura, I wouldn’t be surprised if they experience the same thing as Shido (only fully starting to feel the full force of the repent once the palace collapsed and their shadow returned to them).

Now finally for the Memento Shadows….I’m only going to focus on Nakanohara and Kazuya cause….one is story progress related and the other got an anime special…and there’s a lot of bosses and yeah (maybe in a separate post I’ll go into more detail on them. Anyway, Nakanohara (and from memory, most Mementos shadows) followed a similar pattern as Kamoshida, Madarame, Okumura, Sae, and Shido. Beat them up, tell them off, they feel bad, say they’ll stop, and then leave. Then there’s Kazuya….he…he’s different….He reminds me more of Kaneshiro to an extent, both don’t really show too much signs of guilt imo (or they are showing it in a very condescending way)…But unlike Kaneshiro, we see his reaction….and it’s unsettling. He’s breaking down, I mean in the game there is a line of text where the Shadow goes “*sob*” right before fading out, but is it because he was defeated or cause he was repenting? Before he was showing a cockier attitude (esp so in the anime) so when we see him drop it and is instead sniveling on the ground. This could totally be because of his treasure/his arrogance, being taken away. If not Kaneshiro, I feel like Kazuya is probably the first person to actually have his heart forcibly changed.

Now how is it possible that the team already changed their hearts without actually stealing their treasure? Well with Kamoshida, Madarame, Sae, Okumura, and Shido they either had someone on the PT team they personally screwed over, and/or they were exposed to hearing about the PT changing hearts (applies to anyone after Kamoshida, and possibly all Memento Shadows). Kaneshiro can only apply to the latter (if he even applies at all), cause while he does screw over the team (thanks Makoto), this is something he…well…does to everyone, there’s no personal depth to it like all the other bosses (yes even Makoto, even tho this is her gd dungeon she’s not as personally involved with Kaneshiro like any of the other charters in other dungeons). Anyway, that could just be a factor, let’s talk about the Shadow Selves. All the one’s here seem to be more friendly…to their host that is (yes, even the one’s that aren’t Futaba). I mean none of them want to kill their host and wear their skin as their own like with P2/4’s case. I mean you could view them as going on a rampage, like with P4, and they are making their hosts’ distorted desires run ramped….by beating them up it calms them down (like with P4), and then you lecture them and that can be why they changed. Why? It could be that their conscience probably suppressed/overshadowed by the shadow, with it calmed down it could finally take the forefront of the mind. Of course, by this time a lot of the characters have done some pretty bad stuff, now probably really overrun by the guilt they confess (some more extreme than others).

So yeah, was it brainwashing? Or was it what the P4 kids did and just calm the shadows down? Or was it a mixture of both? Even if it was calming them down, does it still mean it’s forced? I’m interested in people’s thoughts.

Anyway, yeah….just a 2/3 am theory, food for thought. Thought I’d bring it up since Atlus didn’t bother to. 8U