#sadly they still have to deal with toxic masculinity

[artificial-transmutations]

Finally Together

When Jerry called, I could immediately tell something was very wrong. He was holding an ice pack up to his face and looked deranged overall.

"Jerry? What the hell happened to you?"

"Oh, hey. Yeah. This." he pointed at his face. "That's a long story."

"Let me see!" I demanded. You see, Jerry was, most definitely, my bff - my very best, very gay friend. And he had a talent for getting into trouble, sadly.

He slowly lowered the ice pack and I gasped. His right eye was swollen shut, and his face was covered in bruises.

"How..."

"Well, there was this guy. He was kinda hot, and totally my type, but, you know, straight as an arrow. At least *now* I know that." Even despite his bruises, Jerry raised his eyebrows in the cutest way possible - one of the traits I admired about them.

Yes, I should mention, I kiiiind of had a tiny little crush on Jerry. Or perhaps a gigantic one. You always want the ones you can't have, right? In my case, I was a woman - which was enough to disqualify myself rather finally.

"...and? Did he hit you?" I asked, even though I already suspected the answer.

"Yeah. I was just talking to him, trying to subtly find out his orientation. You know how it goes. Apparently, I wasn't too subtle about it, though, and he kind of escalated all over my face. It's no big deal, now I know."

Jerry smiled, but I could clearly see that it caused him pain to do so. It nearly broke my heart.

"It is a big deal." I answered. "That's horrible. You are worth so much more than this. Where did it happen? Did you call the police?"

"It was in the gym. Keith - that's the guy - works there, so, I guess, I need a new gym." Jerry joked. "And no, I didn't call the police, it's just... it's alright, okay Mathilda?"

I was not convinced but decided to let it go. Jerry was just a so sweet and innocent guy, he wouldn't even cause someone trouble if that someone punched in his face. I, on the other hand, was fuming. That was not a way to treat my bff! I would have really liked to kick that Keith's ass right now.

I chatted a bit more with Jerry before he had to go and promised him to come over that evening.

To be quite honest, I didn't plan to do anything, but when I was walking to Jerry's apartment in the afternoon, I passed his gym. I didn't even know it was on the way, because I honestly never paid attention to it much. But now that I saw it on the way, I couldn't help it. I would go in there and just tell the manager that one of their employees was a homophobic asshole. Just a little push in the right direction.

I entered the gym. It looked quite standard, but I couldn't see any manager or anyone else to talk to, for that matter, so I just went in there. It was quite empty, which was not surprising at this time of the day. There was, however, a young, muscular man doing push-ups. It was quite disgusting, actually, with all the sweat dripping down his body and a musky, penetrant smell was filling the room.

He stood up and greeted me.

"Hi, there. You're not a member, are you?"

"I'm not." I said. I felt like adding a "sorry" or something but decided against it. Instead, I clutched my handbag tighter.

"So, what can I do for you, ma'am?" He had that smug grin of an urge driven man who seemed to undress me with his gaze. I shuddered in disgust, but still, I straightened my back.

"Well, actually, I'm here to make a complaint."

"A complaint? About what?"

"Your staff."

"Oh? Do you have an issue with someone working here?"

"Well, yes. I just learned that one of your trainers, Keith was the name, I think, assaulted a customer. That is a terrible way to treat people, and I will not stand for it."

The guy laughed and flashed me a superior grin while he nonchalantly readjusted his groin. Free balling of course. Ugh. Can you spell 'toxic masculinity'?

"Look, honey. Whoever told you that, they lied to you. Keith would never hit a girl, especially not a pretty one."

I felt my face reddening from anger.

"First off, I'm not your honey, and secondly, it wasn't a girl but a guy."

The guy raised his eyebrows. "Really? A guy, huh?"

"Yes. He is my very good friend, and it's not funny at all."

"Hmm. Yeah, I think I remember the guy, some fruity fag who needed to be told a lesson."

Then it dawned on me. The disgusting guy in front of me was the man that had hurt Jerry.

"You're the one who did it! How dare you!" I exclaimed and tried to slap his face.

Before I could land a hit, though, he grabbed my wrist with an iron grip and grinned like a predator.

"Ah, ah. I wouldn't try that, if I were you. Would be a shame, if something were to happen to your pretty face, too."

I withdrew my hand and trembled from disgust.

"Ugh. You're just such a disgusting... jock."

In hindsight, I had no idea what happened, but perhaps some benevolent spirit or sprite was listening. In any case, Keith all of a sudden got a really strange expression on his face and looked really pale for a moment. And then... he suddenly looked even paler, like white paper or cloth. I will never be able to forget the expression of surprise on his face, as his body kind of... collapsed in on himself. His muscular torso diminished, and his arms and legs twisted and fused into thin rubber strips. But his face... His face contorted into a white fabric pouch that was completely devoid of any features within seconds. It had only taken a few moments, but Keith had disappeared.

I looked around first, but nobody else was in the gym right now. I carefully stepped closer and inspected what was left of Keith. Inside his black, damp gym shorts that was lying on the ground, I could see a pair of men's underwear, I believe it was called a jockstrap: A large fabric pouch held by rubber bands - designed to just cover the genitals, although, judging by the size of the pouch, rather large genitals. Now, as Keith had demonstrated quite clearly just a few moments ago, he had certainly not be wearing any underwear - and I had seen what had happened to his face.

With pointed fingers, careful not to touch the damp gym shorts and almost gagging from the strong smell, I picked up the piece of underwear. I had almost thrown it away again, when I noticed that it, too, was covered in sweat and stink. However, the piece of underwear that had once been a man held a strange fascination to me. I lifted it up to my face, to have a closer look, but didn't consider the consequences. When I breathed in, my nose was filled with the overwhelmingly strong and manly smell of sweaty, unwashed genitals, and it triggered something inside of me. All of a sudden, I felt tingly all over and groaned. My body felt weird all of a sudden. It was like that disgusting smell was all around me, enveloping me, pushing me to... change, somehow.

In horror, I felt my feet swelling up in my shoes. It wasn't painful, but it felt like I had been wearing boots that were way too small. The pressure was quickly getting unbearable and painful until my canvas shoes and thin socks couldn't take it anymore. First on the left and then, shortly after, on the right side, the toes of massive feet burst out from the footwear. The pressure subsided, and it felt fine again.

The changes didn't stop, though. Now that my feet had broken free from their restraints, my legs were the next to follow. A ripping sound heralded the death of my tights, as my legs gained mass and muscles. It looked almost comically how the threads of my tights were ripped apart, strand for strand. At the same time, I watched, as my hands grew larger. Gone were my delicate fingers, replaced by thick sausage-like appendages. Those new finger weren't carefully manicured but instead, I was now sporting short, ugly nails that would have been fitting for a lumberjack, rather than a girl.

While my legs were still growing, and I was getting visibly taller, my arms were next to follow. My blouse didn't even stand a chance as the arms did not only grew longer but most importantly, stronger. My biceps swelled like I visited the gym every day and, to my horror, I saw a tattoo forming on my right arm that reminded me a lot of the one Keith had had. I didn't have much time to think about it, though, as a new force practically ripped my blouse apart: My torso was pushing outward in all directions. My shoulders widened considerably, and my bra snapped from the strain. At first, I thought my boobs were growing, but it was quite the opposite. They were receding into my body, being replaced by even more massive and decidedly male pecs. Below them, a ripple went through my stomach, leaving behind the cobblestone road of abs.

The changes had met up at my midsection now and I was afraid of what was going to happen next. Sure enough, my skin-tight summer trousers bulged forward as something pressed against them from the inside.

"No..." I groaned, with a lower voice than I was used to, and tried to push whatever was appearing back into my midsection, but it was no use. With another ripping sound, a penis emerged from between my legs, quickly followed by a pair of testicles that pushed the ruined trousers down and settled in between my tree trunk-like thighs.

My head started swimming. That was wrong, that was so wrong. But the changes just went on. An Adam's apple formed in my throat, further lowering my voice, and my face reformed. It became squarer, and my jawbones became more pronounced. At the same time, my beautiful long hair receded into a short masculine cut. However, as hair disappeared on top of my head, it grew elsewhere. Or, should I say everywhere. Disgusting, wiry body hair grew in on my arms and legs and even on top of my enormous feet and the back of my hands. My chest was coated by a layer of short and coarse hair, and a treasure trail led down my midsection, where it disappeared into a thick pubic bush.

Speaking of bushes, two more formed in the large area of my armpits. Ugh. I was hairy like a fucking monkey. The only well-groomed bit of body hair was on my face, in the short beard that I could see in the gym mirror.

I could hardly believe my eyes. Staring back at me from the reflection was no one else but Keith. *I* was a splitting image of Keith now, only naked aside from the tatters of my clothes. I wanted to scream, but all that came out was a low grunt.

Okay, Mathilda, no reason for panic, I told myself. I would just... Go see a doctor. Yes. There had to be an explanation. This could be treated.

I took a step towards the exit and stumbled over the remains of my coughing. Oh, right, I was still naked.

The only piece of clothing was Keith's gym shorts. Well, his gym shorts and Keith himself, who was a piece of underwear now. I looked between the shorts and the underwear. On the one hand, I really didn't want to wear what had just been Keith, but on the other hand... I certainly wasn't going without any underwear. Everyone would be able to see the outline of my current genitals. Yuck.

So, lacking other options, I pulled on the white piece of underwear. It was, unsurprisingly, very sweaty, and it clung to my junk. I grimaced, but it was better than the alternative. My ass was still largely uncovered, but that was not as bad as the front side. I had to admit that my new equipment filled out the pouch pretty well.

I quickly shook my head and pulled on the gym shorts as well. It felt weird not to cover my chest, but that was probably acceptable in my current state.

Perhaps I could ask Jerry if I could borrow some men's clothing from him.

Oh my, Jerry. He was probably waiting for me. I grabbed my handbag and fled the gym.

Walking felt weird. Of course, regardless of my looks, I was still a woman, so I took small steps and refused to spread my legs too much while walking. It was very awkward. The sun was shining down and although it wasn't all *that* hot, I found myself starting to sweat. How disgusting was that? It was like those stupid mountains of muscle were producing so much heat that my skin was soon glistening with sweat and my armpits started to smell. I tested it by lifting an arm and taking a whiff. Ugh. I needed a shower, badly. I probably would be able to use Jerry's.

Jerry... I saw his face right in front of me in my mind. The cute smile, the adorable brown eyes, the cute little dimples on his cheeks when he grinned.

A strange feeling came over me from my groin area. What was going on down there? When I looked down, the ample bulge of my cock had become even bigger, probably tenting out the pouch that had been Keith's face. I groaned. Men were so primitive. All it took was one sexy thought and bam, erection.

Still, I couldn't deny that it felt pretty good. I checked it anyone on the street was looking before I felt the outline of the cock through the layers of clothing with my big hand. The touch made me moan, and I felt my member throb.

That's when I experienced the weirdest feeling. As the sweat from my groin mixed with the fluids seeping out of the cock head and were absorbed by the jockstrap, all of a sudden, I felt the presence of Keith - the real Keith. It was like a strong mental attack, to get his body back, but I fought back. It was not *his* body, it was mine, even though it may have looked like Keith right now.

It was the strangest experience. I could practically *feel* his thoughts and emotions. The humiliation from being wrapped around, well, *my* cock and balls, I could even taste and smell an echo of what he was tasting and smelling, including the weird taste of precum that had mixed into the face-pouch recently.

It wasn't easy, but I repelled Keith's mind and kind of stuffed it back into the underwear. When I continued my walk, I didn't even notice that I know walked like a man: With long, powerful strides and enough room for my balls.

Luckily, my cock had calmed down a bit by now, and I ran the rest of the way, just to make sure. I was glistening with more sweat when I finally arrived at Jerry's apartment and rang the bell. Ugh. That musk was so bad, I just hoped I could hop under the shower right away.

However, when Jerry opened the door, we were both stunned for a moment. I because Jerry looked even better in reality than when I imagined him. Foreign hormones flooded my system, coming from my balls and I just stood there for a moment. Of course, I had a crush on Jerry before, but right now, in this moment, I realized for the first time that now, Jerry wasn't quite as unreachable as before.

Jerry, on the other hand, backed away, an expression of fear on his face.

"Keith, what... Is this some kind of joke?"

I was taken aback by his reaction.

"No! It's not... It's me, Mathilda!"

"Who?"

"Mathilda, your best friend."

Jerry stared at me, confusion on his face.

"What are you talking about Keith? Wasn't it enough for you to bash my face in? Do you want to humiliate me now?"

"No, please. Listen, Jerry, you're my friend, and I would never hurt you."

He scoffed. "Oh really? My black eye says otherwise."

I could feel myself getting upset from all the testosterone and took a deep breath.

"I can explain. Please, Jerry, hear me out."

He looked at me skeptically.

"Fine. I'll listen."

With that, he let me into his apartment.

"Okay, first of all, can I take off these gym shorts? They are really really disgusting and sweaty, and they are clinging to my legs. Yuck!"

"Uh, oookay." Jerry looked even more confused but allowed it.

Gladly, I got rid of the stinking shorts and threw them at the ground, far away from me. Jerry frowned but was apparently more captured by my now only jockstrap-clad body that I sat down on his couch. I admit I wanted to get rid of the jockstrap, too, but then I would have been completely naked in my friend's living room.

The thought was oddly exciting, and I felt my cock raise in reaction.

I just hoped that Jerry wouldn't notice my state of arousal, even though there wasn't much fabric left to hide it, but I quickly spoke.

"So, Jerry, it's really me. Remember the time when we watched Star Trek: Voyager and had a pillow fight, and you beat me easily, even though I am taller and stronger?"

"How would you know about that, Keith?" Jerry crossed his arms. He had obviously noticed my midsection problem, which was throbbing now, leading to another wet spot on the piece of underwear.

"I'm telling you, I am Ma..."

Suddenly, I grabbed my head. There it was again. Keith had reacted to my arousal and was fighting for control of *my* body again. It was weaker this time, though, and although it took me a few moments, I pushed him back between my legs, where he belonged.

Finally, I spread my legs, man-spreading without even thinking about it and giving the whole world in general and Jerry in particular a good view of my massive groin. A smirk formed on my face. Having such a big cock was something to be proud of.

"...Mathilda." I finished my sentence, although I found the name rather unfitting for a stud like me. "I just kind of... transformed into Keith's body, but it's still the same old man as always. Woman, I mean."

"Uh... what?"

I smiled and stood up, slowly, so he could see all the muscles I had gained. I was taller, too, taller than Jerry even.

"But tell me, do you like what you see?" My cock was throbbing like mad now. God, I needed to have this man!

"Uuuh... uhm... yes? Yes."

I chuckled. "Well, Jerry. I don't know how to get back to my original body yet, but do you want to... touch this one?" I gently took his hand and placed it on my chest.

Jerry didn't react at first, but then he started caressing my chest. It felt great, and he moaned, too.

Another small spurt of precum spilled into my underwear and again, Keith acted up. It was even weaker this time, and I had no trouble staying in control. I did notice something else though. Apparently, Keith was enjoying this a lot, way more than a straight man should. He was almost addicted to my cock fluids by now, and he mentally lapped at my organ submissively. And he exhibited a longing for Jerry that appeared to be too deep-rooted to have developed recently. Well, good for him, because as my jockstrap, he would have a front row seat in what happened next.

"Mathilda, is it really... okay?" Jerry asked, barely being able to restrain himself.

"Yes Jerry." I said while looking into his eyes. "It's more than okay. It's perfect. And it's Matthew from now on, okay?"

I took a deep breath, breathing in my wonderful musky smell, and I watched Jerry do the same. And when I kissed him, I couldn't wait to tear his clothes off and plow his cute little ass with my mighty cock while my lucky jockstrap was watching.

[esmeislewd]

Time for another piggy as a reward for plumping up so well in March.

How do you feel about this.

You go to a casino. However this is a new special casino, no toxic masculinity allowed. Only women all allowed to enter this casino, and the staff is all women.

When you enter the casino you see every staff member is wearing a similar outfit. A very tight fitting sparkly body suit, heavy make up, bunny ears, black leggings, and high heels. Most of the workers are chubby, some are just down right fat on mobility scooters, and very few are skinny

A pudgy bunny girl checks you into the your room. With a forced smile she says “I hope you have a wonderful time with us”

Before you leave for your room she hands you a room key, and along with the room key you get a golden card, with a note that says good for 50 dollars in the casino.

After you get settled into your room you go to the casino to see how what shows or events there are to do, you step out of the elevator and step into the casino. It is a visual and audio experience of bunny girl workers serving drinks, dealing cards, runnings games. You can not hear yourself think die to all the noise of women celebrating winning, slot machines buzzing, and roulette wheels spinning……

Before you know it you see a chubby bunny worker approach you. In a confident but demanding way she says “hey sweetheart how about you test your Luck” as she puts her plump fingers on your shoulders and guides you to a slot machine…… she says “the jackpot is pretty big, see if you can handle it”

You have the gold card with 50 dollars….. you put it into the machine. The machine comes to life, you get lost in the lights as the push the button to gamble. You win 5 dollars. The chubby bunny girl with you says “nice job cutie……. Keep going”

You listen to her. After all the money on the gold card was not “your money” the casino gave it to you.

You continue to play the slot machine…….. won 2 dollars, lost 25 dollars……. Better get it back…..

Won 10 dollars, lost 7 dollars……

“Good girl” the cubby bunny girl with you says “you are a natural, keep playing.

You lose track of time as you continue to gamble. Too distracted by the chubby bunny girl complimenting you, the lights from the slot machine, and the noises it keeps making.

The chubby bunny girl with you hits the server button on the slot machine. A skinny flustered bunny girl approaches the slot machine. The chubby bunny accompanying you whispers something into the ear of the skinny server bunny girl, for a brief moment she has a look of disgust and horror on her skinny face….

You see The skinny bunny girl look at you with a look of concern she looks around quickly and then while looking you straight into the eyes she say “hey, you don’t know what is going on here, don’t end up like me…. You need to get ou……………. AAAAAAAAAA” the skinny bunny girl stops mid sentence and cries out in pain as she holds her neck………….

The chubby bunny girl looks very angrily at the skinny bunny girl. The chubby bunny girl then turns to you and says “just keep gaming, you are winning so often……. Don’t mind her” the chubby bunny girl says as she gestures to the skinny bunny girl. “She is new and is still learning how to do her ROLE PROPERLY!!”

The skinny bunny girl sadly walks away and returns with a very large cocktail drink….. the skinny bunny girl forces a smile and says “here you go cutie…… on the house….” The skinny bunny girl sets the drink next to you and sadly walks away, to continue serving drinks to other casino patrons.

You take a sip of the drink….. wow that is a strong drink…… you take sips every so often continuing to play the slot machine…….

Did you finish the drink….. when did a new cocktail arrive…….. you won 40 dollars!!!!!! Take another sip….. you won 20 dollars…… take another sip…… you lost 70 dollars…… how many drinks have you had?…… it does not matter because you just won 85 dollars!!!!!!!!

After awhile the chubby bunny girl stands you up giving your cheek a cute pinch…….. “you have done so well my little winner, you have 200 dollars on your gold card……… you are such a good lucky girl how about we get you a snack, another drink, and have you win some real money.

The chubby bunny girl takes you by the hand and takes you to the buffet, and you are drunk and hungry so you don’t resist.

At the buffet your chubby bunny girl who has been with you this whole time checks you in and has them charge the fee to your room…… you did not hear the amount it cost, but you are drunk and having a good time, and you won so much money…. Who cares how much the buffet is

In your drunk state you gather so much food, pizza, Mac n cheese, cake, steak bites, more cake. You have a loaded plate. You sit down at a booth with the chubby bunny girl, where of course she has gotten you another strong cocktail

You really eat and eat…… your poor belly is so full, your mind is so foggy from the booze….. but the chubby bunny girl smiles and says “you gotta make sure you eat everything” as she brings more food to the table.

You don’t resist as she takes food up to your mouth……. You bite into it filling up your belly more and more….. “drink some more, it will make you feel better” the chubby bunny girl says as she brings another strong cocktail to your lips, “drink it up, be a good girl”

You feel really sick, but the chubby bunny girl starts to rub your swollen belly full of food and booze…….. when you start to burp the chubby y bunny girl says “good job, feeling better?”

After a good amount of belly rubs and burps the chubby bunny girl says now let’s get back to the casino and win some real money for you……

By now you are super drunk you can’t think for yourself, and you feel sick due to how much you ate, but you keep listening to the chubby bunny girl and doing what she says…..

You need up at a roulette table you are fading in and out but you hear “and the adorable lady has put 200 on black, let’s see if she can double her gold card!!!”

“3 red, I’m sorry miss but your gold card is empty”

“That is no big deal, she is so lucky, let’s set her up with credit…..”

You barely remember agreeing to gamble with credit

The night goes on with the chubby bunny girl eagerly encouraging you to gamble more and more

You lost 150 dollars

“That is ok, remember how lucky you were earlier you just have to keep playing and your luck will turn again”

You lost 5000 dollars

“Hey you have to win next time”

You win 100 dollars

“See your luck is turning around!”

You lost 30,000 dollars

“Hey keep betting big, and you will win big”

You win 50,000 dollars

“See what I told you, let it ride!!!!”

You lost 100,000 dollars

“Shake it off you still can easily make it up by taking more credit”

You won 20,000 dollars

“See how cute she is, here remember to keep drinking, it’s more fun to gamble when you drink”

You lost 300,000 dollars

“Hey finish your drink and rally, you got this….”

You lost _________dollars…………

“Sorry sweetheart sometimes things just don’t go your way…………..”

You lose consciousness as the booze finally over powers your tired brain…

You wake up in what seems like a luxury office…… seated infront of you is curvy woman in a business suit…..

You have a terrible hangover “about time you woke up” the curvy woman behind the desk says “I have gone through your assets and you do not have the 2 million, 72 thousand and 24 cents to cover your debt to the casino………” she pauses…. “You have a choice you can go to jail, or you can work off your debt in the casino” she holds up a sparkly body suit, bunny ears, leggings, and high heels.

End of part 1, I’ll post part 2 later

Oh Oh this is so devious and I am sooooooooo excited to read the part 2!!! This set up is absolutely immaculate for some very morally dubious forced weight gain. Whoever you are anon please start writing fat fic if you aren't already this is wonderful~ Also I'm really coming around to the idea of intox play tbh, originally I just liked hypnosis for playing with my brain but the idea of getting me drunk and taking advantage is honestly kind of hot ngl~

I'm absolutely taking the bunny suit btw~

[soothingmelody]

Video Essays, Jealousy, Melancholy and Lies

Have you ever found yourself living a lie?

This question has been stuck in my head ever since I started therapy earlier this year. And I don't mean it in some grand way of being a kind of double agent or stringing an elaborate web of lies to trick your childhood friend into playing sudoku to save your past self from burning down in an incinerator, but... Something much more mundane. 

I guess I should start from the beginning, cause otherwise the title of this post won't make too much sense. 

It is interesting how much we can experience through communication. Be it a Discord message, a Tumblr blog post like this, a tweet or a meticulously put together video essay, finding out about other people's experiences has been one of my favorite things throughout my life. I find people endlessly fascinating. I love it when people talk about their lives and their life experiences, so to me, the long winded, sort of pretentious format of the video essay is right up my alley. 

So, this morning, while enjoying a bowl of instant-ramen with some haphazardly cut green onions and a creamy eggy broth, I was watching this one video essay that one of my good friends had recommended to me the night before. Said video essay was about the appeal of Elfen Leid and the video itself, I found quite entertaining and very interesting. But, it did leave me feeling a tinge melancholic and I realized that this is far from the only video essay that has had that sort of effect on me. 

Growing up in Ukraine, a land ravaged by the collapse of the Soviet Union and the rise of uncontrolled capitalism, where you could easily find syringes behind a children's playground and your average neighborhood screamed "Half-Life 2 Level", I was a pretty quiet kid, despite my extremely extroverted nature. I do think a lot of these issues start here, which is why I wanted to mention this. I was bullied from a pretty young age, disregarded by people I found important to me and disregarded by people I called friends. To me, it was always a feeling of being not "cool enough". I wasn't into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I wasn't into Transformers, being "girly" for a "boy" such as myself was seen as disgusting, was met with slurs and even more bullying. And in this environment, I was just a quiet kid, with a big heart, who'd sit at the back of the class and draw his funny Sonic the Hedgehog comics.

All of this is to say that I grew up in a pretty cynical place, where cringe culture was way more commonplace and I could only find respite in the internet, mainly the russian Sonic forums of the era, where plenty of judgemental people remained still. That cynicism has really seeped through me and followed me through so much of my life. There were so many times when I would do something that felt natural to me, that didn’t hurt anyone and I would be shut down even by people I trusted the most and I would once again retreat into my own shell. 

This constant environment led me to not really participate in many subcultures actively in fear of being seen as weird and cringy, this constant environment led me to not stand out to much, to not take opportunities that would’ve led me to a more interesting life and left me with barely any skills to express myself, besides music or art. It made me afraid of my own queerness that I had to come to terms with and understand for many many years, dealing with my own toxic masculinity, finding out that I was not really straight or that I am not even truly a “man”.

And now looking back, when I am more mature and have changed and grown so much, that I finally managed to open myself up somewhat and “be cringe and free”, honestly, there is a strong melancholy there. There’s a regret. I wish I’ve done so much over my teens that I sadly cannot turn back anymore. To please those people that were holding me back, I gave up so much. That I am having my self indulgent phase when I am in my early 20s and not my early 10s. And I am still a work in progress, I have no idea if I am still living some sort of lie, cause that is stuff you admit to yourself down the road and figure out with hindsight. But I am happier today. But, for how sad this all may sound, I wanted to tell you, the reader, that it is never really too late to change and open up a bit.

It is however interesting, that even with all of this said and this regret that I do bear, I consider that my experience was still rather valuable. I met many people, I developed in my own way and now I love who I am. Maybe that regret, a desire for a better teenage life is yet just another lie, me trying to conform. But, that will be for future me to decide in hindsight. 

If you relate to anything I’ve said in this little self indulgent post, please remember, that no matter what, if you are not hurting anyone, you should be free to do whatever you want and nobody has the right to take that away from you. If they laugh, let them, you are the master of your own life, so go and be cringe. Go buy that anime figurine. Go write poetry. Go ask out someone you like. Do something that will make you happy today and maybe you won’t be stuck writing long Tumblr posts. 

Stop living a lie. Be yourself.

[julystorms]

People are allowed to be misognistic to fictional characters. They're not real. And anyway most of the aot fandom is female.

sure i mean gOSH who am i to tell you to stop being an inherently horrible person when it comes to fictional characters??? it's not hurting anyone right?? i guess it's totally okay to be homophobic to fictional characters, too, since they're not real. and racist. it's not like the written word is read by real live actual people, right?? it's not like everyone writing misogynistic/homophobic/racist shit would hurt anyone's feelings or persuade people into believing it's okay and normal, right? gosh and there certainly wouldn't be a domino effect that keeps women/not-straight people/PoC from having the same basic rights as White Men for hundreds of years!! inconceivable! hahahha!!!

so yeah, i guess people ARE allowed to be misogynistic to fictional characters. and hey, this is a gosh darn SHOCKER here: they're allowed to be misgynistic to REAL PEOPLE too. like who's gonna stop them? what laws? to address your "wah snk fandom is mostly women" comment: most women have some kind of internalized misogyny lurking in them, and sometimes it ain't hidin' so very deep. gee, i wonder where they got it from? i mean shit when you grow up surrounded on all sides by misogyny, racism, and homophobia, it's easy to believe that these things are normal. and it's hard as hell to recognize it in adulthood, let alone cast it off again. so hey anon hey hey quick question here:

why partake in adding to it?

why would you want to encourage and perpetuate that kind of shit??? because the characters are fictional?

yeah, seems like nothing more than an excuse to me, too.

[sleepynegress]

Dave Chappelle is the exact kind of man that abused me. He's the man that "slaps the queer out of you" and laughs and laughs, except a grown man just hit a kid. He's someone who'll scream homophobic abuse in your face, but if you try and ask to be treated right, suddenly you "can't take a joke". He's the man who threatens your mother because "boys don't need soft shit." I think a lot of people are very familiar with men like him.

Okay. This may be a long response...But I have been thinking a lot about the dichotomy of a black man, who can be considered a thinker, who literally ran away to Africa because he felt so much discomfort at the idea of his white audiences laughing *at* him and black people, vs. him...SAYING and believing, and worst -proliferating and enabling others to feel normal inflicting violence upon queer people. So. Here are the conclusions I've come to about this entire thing (bulleted because ADHD and I'd be here all day w/o it)

● Chappelle is an old "Unc-ish" black man who thinks he's still being edgy by reciting his old black man fears and insecurites to an audience who (he thinks) is shocked by it in a way that makes him "brave" for "telling the truth of what many feel" vs. being one of many very common and typical people, who age w/o growth w/ the social changes in society... i.e. those you see fold their arms and complain about "new words" like agender, them/they, et al, instead of just learning how to use new words.

● You see... Here's a secret of aging that no one tells you. Everything you knew "back in the day" even if you were empathetic and loving enough, strong enough to see and combat regressive hatred back then/go against the grain.... Will shift for new generations. And lately, so much for the good of marginalized people... i.e. undoing the normalized harassment, dismissal and hatred of marginalized queer folks back in specifically Dave Chappelle's day. The simple truth of it is this: Many people age and lament the loss of normalized cruelty. And many (thankfully, these are the elders you see w/o 'the old man yells at cloud' vibes...) simply change w/ the evolving norms.

● Dave. Refuses to grow. Point blank. His fame and privilege and his personal sense of thinking he's being "old school black and honest" helps w/ that.

● There are also many toxic specifically 'black' masculine traits that he has swallowed hook-line-and-sinker; rooted in ancestral trauma/memory. Specifically in black men, hat has caused many to adopt many of the thought processes of yt masculinity, i.e. misogynoir, and homophobia, while pretending it's some kind of super-black man b.s.

tl:dr Many black men flex extra hard in toxic ways to compensate for all the racial humilations they've dealt w/ in history and day-to-day. I've seen many an angry black male elder who went through Jim Crow, pass that ish; that righteous anger in sadly toxic ways, to their male children. And I've seen many elder black woman spoil their black sons (i.e. not teach them to respect queer people because the bible) to "make-up" for the hardships black men would experience in life.

● I guarantee Dave grew-up w/ that. A specific black male youth experience, in his day of listening to homophobic and misogynistic music and chatter from friend-groups trying to "date" i.e. mistreat as many black girls as possible to puff up a deflated sense of masculine self in dealing w/ cops pulling him over for nothing but melanin. ...A certain kind of black male "cool" that acts as a shield for those normalized racial traumas.

● Dave still traffics in and peddles the old style of "cool" that has evolved past him (shout-out to Lil' Nas, the entire cast of POSE, etc.), to the point where all that remains are dull, baggy eyes and a voice ruffened by all the weed smoke over the years. He is an old man standing still, in the singular "black" good old days...that doesn't know or want to know shit about the black queer community that also had to carve out an existence in those days.

● That is where his stubborn transmisogyny comes from. And why he can seperate the fact that he literally ran from people laughing past the joke because he realized it was at black people's expense...from throwing trans woman (many of whom are also black...intersection what??) under the bus of all the violence inflicted upon them, with that TERF head-ass bullshit.

● And one more thing... because I am also on twitter and it disgusted me to witness... So many transphobic black people on that platfrom were wiping their brows in relief at being able to parlay that into a misdirect at "anger" at yt trans woman co-showrunner of Dear YT White People for it's lacking show quality and *successfully* squashed the transmisogyny at the heart of the discussion around Dave. ...That shit irked me to no end. So, queer community. I hear you, I see you all. I love you. ....Especially my trans black brothers and sisters. I'm a demi elder black woman who feels incredibily fortunate to have had the life experiences and perspectives necessary to still *see* people and grow in that seeing every year I exist on this earth. That is *not* an experience everyone gets or WANTS to get, sadly. There is a certain kind of stubborn safety in aging and staying in what is already known to you, while crossing your arms and scoffing at all the "changes". My message of wisdom, is DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN to NOT do/be that.

[ballet-symphonie]

I was wondering if there was still a stigma about boys becoming ballet dancers.

I know ballet is predominantly women, but I wonder if boys are still discouraged from pursuing dance vs girls who are funneled into ballet.

Thank you!

It's a bit of a paradox. They certainly face a lot of negative stereotypes from those outside the dance community. Boys in ballet (or honestly the arts as a whole) are often forced to deal with stigmas on topics like toxic masculinity and homophobia. There are also countless accounts of young male dancers being bullied by their regular school classmates and then dropping out, these negative stereotypes definitely play a big role in discouraging boys from becoming dancers/artists.

At the same time, because ballet is predominantly women, men become a desirable minority inside the dance community. There are a lot of privileges given to boys starting ballet such as subsidized or even free training/tuition/housing, scholarships given out like candy, and preferential treatment/attention. Sadly, the girls around them often end up paying the price. And like the rest of the world, the upper-level economic management and artistic management is dominated by men...it's definitely rather misogynistic considering that the industry is carried by the work of women.

Now, I'm an optimistic person and I do have hope in what I see now that these issues are slowly getting better...but very, very slowly. Ballet is stuck in the past and the artform makes a lot of efforts to stay in the past, but I do believe change is slowly coming.

[munsontm]

♡ + masculinity

Send me ♡ + a word, and I’ll write a headcanon / ACCEPTING / @kinklelegacy

Much like every aspect of Eddie's life, he does it his own way, and masculinity is no exception. Obviously, he does not buy into the typical type of masculinity like the jocks etc. He hates playing and watching sports and playing the tough guy, and despite fandom's love of projecting Eddie, the mechanic, onto the world. I don't think he cares about cars that much, personally. His van is about getting him from A to B, his band to gigs, and to drug deals when necessary. I think he knows a decent amount about cars----but it's not a passion for him.

I suppose you COULD say there is considered femininity to Eddie by Hawkin's and 'normal' standards, but that comes with contexts!! Eddie, at least my version of him, paints his nails, wears eyeliner and dons a few piercings, which is considered in the 80s and sadly still now, though not as much, very much a woman's thing. But Eddie is a metalhead, and that's pretty typical attire for metalheads; the Duffers are just pussy bitches. BUT the aesthetic of POPULAR metalhead style, appearance and culture largely began with the band Judas Priest, of whom the lead singer is gay gay gay. Of course, no one knew that at the time! But Rob Halford, the singer of JP. Created that particular look after witnessing it in gay bars and gay BDSM clubs etc, and it boomed within the metal scene. The metal scene was unknowingly influenced by gay culture for a long time, much to Rob's amusement. And if you know anything about the metal scene of the 80s and beyond, it's not particularly queer or feminine friendly, the opposite. So, that aspect of Eddie would not be seen as feminine in his own circle. But outside of it? Hell yeah. It would be seen as weird and girly. But Eddie has always grinned and bore his differences to the 'normal' guys of Hawkins, much to his own personal detriment. Because he'd rather be himself and face the unkind consequences than pretend to be someone he isn't. So, whether wearing make-up and jewellery is seen as feminine or not. Eddie doesn't really care, you know? He wears it because he wants to. If someone were to ask him why he's dressed like 'a girl' he'd be likely to shrug and say it's metal; it's just part of the culture. Get with it. I don't think it will get him until some years later maybe he just likes doing it outside of being a metalhead too.

Appearances aside, there's then the personality aspect. Eddie is a solid metalhead, no doubt. But he obviously doesn't prescribe to the typical personality of one. Yeah, he's got that working-class anger. But what working class person doesn't have that? But he certainly doesn't come off as an angry meathead. He's obviously the opposite of the typical metalhead stereotype. He's sweet and kind and looks after people. He's a soft lad. And that would have gone against a lot of what masculinity was considered to be at that time. America is still experiencing the aftermath of the Vietnam war, and they've got Reagen in power. Toxic masculinity is everywhere. To Eddie, being a metalhead is largely about living your truth, living your way, and doing everything how you want it. It's hardcore to live like that in a world that actively opposes it.

Do I think Eddie could have turned out to be a toxic meathead? ABSOLUTELY. The mould for it is right there with his abusive parents and a father who forced him into crime from a young age. It would have been extremely easy for Eddie to have been someone else. And I think his saving grace is obviously uncle Wayne. I think Wayne saved Eddie from turning out like his brother (I hc Eddie's dad is Wayne's brother). We see Eddie being particularly polite and chivalrous towards Nancy and Chrissy. And you can say he simply got that from reading too much fantasy fiction about knights etc. But, I choose to believe this is something that Wayne taught him because Wayne is about the only decent fella in the Munson family, and he wanted Eddie to grow up treating women much better than his brother did his wife before she killed herself. And, well, Wayne is a bit of an old-fashioned fella too, holds doors open for ladies, offers to escort them to their cars when it's dark, and do 'tough' manual labour for them. And he's poured all of that into Eddie too. So, depending on what kind of woman you are. Eddie would make a really great boyfriend and husband.

Furthermore, I came to another conclusion that Eddie has learned a lot about gender and femininity/masculinity from reading non-conformist literature, academic and fictional. In small-town Indiana, I think reading is more or less the only way he could have found certain things out aside from visiting bars etc, in bigger cities. He would have read feminist and queer literature that would take him further from the hegemony of 80s America. Until he's pretty much at a point of not caring about many labels. Women can dress, act and do whatever they want, just like a dude can. He actively supports that and champions female friends and girlfriends. So, while Eddie does take a chivalrous attitude with women. It’s just to be a decent person. As for gender and sexuality, that's something he's had to experience for himself, and it's not been great in small-town Indiana (not until Steve.) But given all he would have learned from teaching himself and hearing other stories, Eddie is very comfortable with his sexuality and his gender as a man in general and as a man who has sex with other men. Being fucked by another dude is nothing to do with masculinity. He thinks it's pretty metal to get fucked in the ass tbqh. And he's more than aware of how terrifying it is to be anything different in a place like Hawkin's, but he does it all the same because it's his one life, and his parents ruined enough of it already. No one else is going to tell him how to exist.

So, in a long-winded and roundabout way. What I've wanted to get at is that Eddie isn't a typical dude of his time and dominant culture. He's one of the people that the dominant hegemony actively fears because he causes disruptions to their way of ruling; heterosexual reproduction and the expansion of capitalism linked to heterosexual reproduction. That's why people in Hawkin's are scared of him. The government actively pushes controlled normalcy, and Eddie ain't it. He's the freak. He's not a man; he's something else. A something else that needs to disappear from American society and not be encouraged further. But he's refused to be quiet and be what people want him to be. It's honestly pretty gnarly that he's managed to make this of himself in a place like Hawkins during the 80s. No doubt that other people in rl managed it too, but he's a great shining example.

[clownpi]

Film Rec for Pride Month

If anyone is looking for a nice melodrama may I interest them in Tea and Sympathy (1956) which stars the ever lovely Deborah Kerr? Based on a play, the film does sadly suffer a bit from being produced during the Hayes Code period, tacking on an ending to ‘punish’ the act of adultery, but the overall product is amazingly bittersweet. Deborah Kerr herself was even quoted as saying (about the screenplay): “[...] contains all the best elements of the play. After all, the play was about the persecution of a minority, wasn't it? That still remains the theme of the film." (Shamelessly taken from the wiki article on the film).

One of the main themes of the film is around toxic masculinity and the torment one who doesn’t ‘fit in’ receives for being different. There’s also some subtle (and not so subtle) references to homosexuality linked to that (as much as they could get past the censors at least). Really it’s just an overall lovely film that deals with the subject matter surprisingly well and Deborah Kerr is just phenomenal as the kind/understanding dorm mistress that thinks Tom (the boy that doesn’t fit the mould) is just perfect the way he is.

If nothing else, watch it for Deborah Kerr and let her soothing voice cradle you close. It’s also a rather enjoyable Vincente Minnelli picture, most of his I’ve seen have all been very charming (Meet Me in St. Louis, Bells are Ringing, The Clock).

Know this ain’t my usual shtick, but if I can get some people (even just 1!) to enjoy some nice classic movies I’ll consider that a win! One of my biggest passions that I can talk endlessly about if given the chance is movies (especially the old ones).

[yourelivingwrong]

Distract me, please.

⋟─────────────────────────────

Dean Winchester x Reader

Fluff, Smut, Friends to lovers

Warnings: graphic injury description, near death experience, swearing,  sex as a coping mechanism? AU where Supernatural characters deal with emotions in a healthier way.

Word count: 4198

Hello, welcome back! Thanks so much again for the reaction to my first fluffy fic (which you can read here), here’s the next:

──────────────────────────────⋞

“CAS!” you yell as your swing open the door to the bunker. You desperately glance around the map room, and scream louder with desperation in your voice “CAS WE NEED YOU NOW!”

You turn to run back to the Impala but Dean’s already here, staggering up to the doorway with Sam slung over one of his shoulders, blood everywhere, body slack in unconsciousness.

“CAS!” Dean yells in a deep, panicked baritone, but the angel has already entered the room. 

Shock flits across Cas’s face as he takes in the scene before him, and he asks “What happened?” before running up the stairs to help the two of you bring the younger Winchester in safely. 

“Ghoul took a knife to him” you pant as you struggle to manoeuvre Sam down, “We couldn’t shoot it -”

Dean interrupts you, “Can you fix him?” he barks aggressively.

Cas presses his palm to Sam’s forehead “There’s still time,” he confirms “I can heal him”.

Dean takes the brunt of the weight and gets his brother onto the table. Red pools from Sam’s abdomen through the shirt of yours that’s tied tautly across the wound - there’s too much blood, and the only thing keeping you from losing it is the adrenaline, and Dean taking your hand, squeezing it tight, eyes not moving from Sam’s limp body.

Closing his eyes, Cas presses two fingers to Sam’s forehead and a warm light envelops him, seeping through his body. Dean winches as Sam’s body tenses, visibly rising from the table as Cas works his grace. After a moment, it fades, and Sam’s body slowly relaxes. Removing his hand from his forehead, Cas peels the shirt off Sam’s stomach to check the wound: the skin is smooth, untouched. 

“He’s healed” Cas says, looking back at you and Dean. “He’s sleeping, but he’s healed”.

You exhale a loud breathe you hadn’t realised you were holding, letting your head fall back as a wave of relief floods through you. 

“Thank you Cas. Thank you”. you say sincerely, placing a palm on Sam’s shoulder and squeezing it. You can’t bring yourself to think of a life without him in it.

You turn back to face Dean, and see he still hasn’t broken his gaze with his brother’s now sleeping form. His face is somber, stony even, and you know him well enough by now to guess at what he’s feeling: guilt. Your heart breaks for him - you’re all too familiar with Dean’s ever consistent self-blame, and right there in that moment, you commit yourself to an evening of caring for him, now his brother has been taken care of. He needs it. 

“I’ll get Sam to his room,” Cas says with understanding, reading Dean’s face in the same way you are. You smile back at the angel appreciatively, then pinch Dean’s crimson stained sleeve and tug it carefully to get his attention.

“Come on,” you nudge him gently, “Let’s go patch you up”.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈․° ☣ °․┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

The two of you sit in silence in Dean’s room, him on the edge of the bed and you knelt in front of him.

Dean remains still as you ease the flannel off his shoulders and begin to clean the blood from his arms and neck with a wash cloth. It colours the water a dirty shade of red when your rinse it in the bowl at your knees, and once you’re done you move onto taking care of Dean’s own wounds.

He flinches slightly when you run an antiseptic wipe across the graze that runs above his left eyebrow. “Just a little more” you assure him quietly, trying to soothe him. Dean says nothing in response - you know that in some twisted way, he thinks he deserves this pain for failing to protect Sam. Pulling apart a packet from the first aid kit, you delicately smooth a wound closure strip across the mark, using another to secure it. 

“All done,” you announce, balling the empty packaging in your hands and standing to drop it in the basket resting by the door, “I’m just gonna go wash my hands and grab you some tylenol. I'll be right back, okay?”. He nods, but still can’t bring himself to engage with you any more than that.

You smile sadly at him, then duck out his room.

For the first time this evening, you take a minute for yourself. You kick your boots off and leave them by the door, then peel your own over shirt off you and throw it straight in the trash before washing your hands in the bunker’s kitchen until the pink stained water runs clear down the drains, then you scrub your hands hard for an extra few moments to really rid Sam’s blood from your body.

Pulling a cloth from a hook and leaning back on the counter, you process the day and make sure your head is in the right place for the rest of the evening. Almost losing Sam was.. a lot, and you’re glad to have the purpose of caring for Dean for the night. Oh, Dean…

God, being infatuated with Dean Winchester sucked at the best of times, knowing that he could never feel the same way; but it was worse when he was in pain and there was almost nothing you could do to take it away from him. After years of friendship you knew how his self-loathing worked, and you’d slowly been coaxing him out of his toxic-masculinity to feel more comfortable sharing how he was feeling. He was still resistant: you don’t think he’ll ever truly change his ways, but him just allowing you to be with him when he feels at his lowest is huge progress. It made you care for him even more.

You take a deep sigh, shake it off and grab a bottle of painkillers from a cabinet and a bottle of water from the fridge, then head back down the Men of Letters corridor to Dean’s bedroom.

You let yourself in, closing the door behind you and crossing the short distance to the bed. Dean accepts the pills with a shaky hand as you sit next to him. His shock is fading, but he swallows them down, and placing a hand on his arm you tentatively ask, “How are you doing?”.

Face still forlorn, Dean shakes his head to himself “I always screw things up”.

“Dean.” you say softly, making sure he meets your eyes. “It wasn’t your fault”.

One tear drops from his eye to run down his cheek, ““If I’d just been there a second earlier…”, he all but whispers, and he crumbles, ducking his head down to hide his face in his chest.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” You murmur as you take him in your arms, one hand cradling his head and the other wrapping around his broad shoulders. “I’ve got you”. 

Despite the progress Dean’s made in opening up, he’s never let you see him like this, gently crying in your arms. You’d think all of you would be used to the near death (or full death) experiences by now, but the fear of seeing those closest to you come that near to never returning is unparalleled each and every time. You hold Dean back tightly, and you realise that you’re needing the comfort almost as much as he is: tonight was a close scare. A really close fucking scare. Dean breathes raggedly into your shoulder as you stroke his back softly, and after a few minutes you can feel him calm down in your arms: he’s stopped shaking, and his breathe is getting steadier.

Moving to run a hand down his face quickly, Dean changes his position to wrap his arms around your waist in return, holding you firm in his arms. From this angle your face is buried in the crook of his neck, and you can feel his heart beat against your own chest - you inhale his familiar scent, all aftershave and gunpowder, and the warmth of his body makes your beat race to match his. 

Dean moves his head slightly as if to face towards yours, then seems to change his mind and stay holding you tight. You tenderly turn your head to his to reassure him, assuming he’s holding himself back from saying something, and are taken aback when suddenly you’re face to face with him, only an inch apart.

His nose brushes against yours, and after a second’s pause, Dean softly presses his lips to yours. 

The kiss takes you totally by surprise. To have his gorgeous, pink lips on yours almost renders you stunned - it plants butterflies in your stomach immediately, and for a moment you lose all brain power, able only to relish in the sensation. As soon as you’re compos mentis enough to start kissing back, a little voice in your brain tells you to stop.

“Dean-“ you whisper against his lips, reluctantly pulling away. 

Focused on your lips, he murmurs “I just need to be with you,” before ducking back in for another kiss.

You’re really not sure what’s happening, and dumbly sputter out a question, “Are you sure?” 

His green eyes meet yours, “Distract me Y/N,” he breathes in his husky voice, looking up at you, pleading “Please.”

You resist again, “Dean, honey,” you whisper, gently, “Not that I haven’t wanted this for.. ever, but I feel like I’d be taking advantage-“ he silences you by putting a finger to your lips.

“Please Y/N,” he looks dead into your eyes, “We can talk about it later, I swear. Right now I just need to bury myself in you and forget about it, ok?” he’s being open, and honest - as you gaze back into his eyes, it’s almost as if you can see how much he means it.

You try to process that for a moment before ultimately whispering “Okay”.

Dean responds immediately, threading his fingers into your hair and crushing his lips against yours.

He’s kissing passionately, and almost immediately everything fades away: the room, the evening, the emotions. All that’s left is Dean’s mouth on yours, your body held tight against his and the taste of him on your tongue. A tiny voice in your head recognises this is finally happening, and before you can think it through you’re climbing into his lap, resting a knee either side of his hips and hearing him groan low in his throat at the closer contact. 

His tongue slips in your mouth and even after all your years of imagining, this is more divine than you ever could have fantasied. You mould together, a perfect fit, and when Dean’s hardening cock experimentally rolls up into you a choked sound escapes you that would ordinarily have embarrassed you, if you didn’t see how much it turns Dean on.

“Goddamn Y/N, I’ve wanted you for so fucking long” he moans into your mouth, punctuating the last two words with an another, firmer thrust. Heat is flooding to your lower stomach, and you can feel your panties getting wetter with every moment - you’re desperate for him to be closer, to make you moan under his touch until you can’t take it anymore.

You catch his eye through fluttered lashes, and boldness takes over, “I need to feel you Dean,” you say in breathy pants. He sucks your lower lip beneath his teeth and it bites it gently, growling in response when you moan.

Dean holds your head firmly as he rolls the two of you backwards onto the bed, leaving you now laying side by side, never pausing his needy kisses. He toes his boots off before he moves to hover on top of you, swinging one leg in between yours so that his thigh is pressed right against against your cunt and god, you’ve never been so aware of how frustrating clothes are.

Luckily, he’s reading your thoughts, and he steadily unbuttons your jeans and pulls them down your thighs. He barely breaks the kiss, and when they bunch around your ankles you help him out by kicking them off, leaving you in just your thin, black panties.

Dean runs a warm, rough hand down your side and pulls back just enough to watch you tremble at the touch. He trails his fingers across your thighs, touching everywhere except where you need him most and you whine in frustration.

“I’ve been wondering how sweet you taste for a while now darlin’,” he confesses into your lips, taking two fingers to run a delicate trail up the centre of your panties and making you buck up and gasp, “And I’m not about to hold back any longer”. 

He presses a quick kiss to your lips and moves down your body, trailing more kisses down your torso as he goes. When he reaches your panties, he hooks a thumb under the fabric either side and pulls them from under your ass, leaving you bare to him, your wetness already pooling.

“God you are so beautiful” he says under his breathe, sounding like he’s saying it more to himself than he is to you. Your heart swells, then he leans in almost all the way - his warm breathe dances over your pussy and the anticipation of him finally touching you is almost too much. 

He licks one stripe up your clit, unable to hold himself back and you inhale sharply, fire spiking through your body. Dean settles himself comfy on his chest, then snakes his arms up around your hips to pull you to his waiting mouth.

His mouth at your pussy is… unreal.  He’s attentive, literally feeling you out and observing your reactions to assess what really gives you as much pleasure as possible and it’s making you lightheaded. When he presses his mouth fully to you, giving your clit a sloppy kiss and dragging his tongue slowly up from your dripping cunt your back keens off the bed and you make a high pitched whine unlike any sound you’ve ever made before, feeling as if you’ve died and gone to heaven. Dean smirks into you, repeating the action to bring you closer to the edge of ecstasy.

You desperately raise a head to look down your body at Dean eating your pussy, and the sight you’re met with is without doubt the sexiest thing you’ve ever witnessed: his eyes are closed, eyebrows tight and raised at the centre in pleasure as he devours your pussy. His chin is glistening in your wetness, and he’s softly rutting his cock against the mattress, genuinely loving every minute of eating you out.

“Damn sweetheart, you taste so good” he mumbles into your centre, curling his tongue inside you in a way you didn’t think was possible. You collapse back on the bed, reaching down to desperately hold his head while your eyes flutter shut, your orgasm already fast approaching.

You stutter “Dean, fuck - I’m c-lose already"

His hands grip your thighs ever tighter at your words, and he becomes frantic, “Give it to me princess,” he growls, voice muffled as his mouth works desperately at bringing you over the edge.

You’re not usually one for terms of endearment but there’s something about how the pet name drips off Dean’s tongue that, combined with his tongue at your pussy and his lips suckling on your clit, sends you spinning over the edge and coming hard with a ungodly moan. You see stars behind your eyelids as your orgasm floods your body, your hands twisting into Dean’s dirty blonde hair and riding it all out on his face.

Dean watches you with dark eyes as you fall apart, soaking in every inch of you and licking you through it as your writhe on his tongue until your legs are shaking and your thighs are closing, forcing him away from you. You shudder in the wake of your orgasm, struggling to catch your breath as he kisses your thighs and up your body until he’s face to face with you once more.

“Fuck me Y/N, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” Dean groans, lunging forward for a hard kiss. You taste yourself on his him, and reel at how sensual it is as his body presses back firm against yours. Your hands reach blindly to pull take his shirt off, and once he’s thrown it from the bed you wrap your arms around him and roll him onto his back. You kiss,

then begin to slowly move down his body.

“Woah sweetheart,” he says sincerely, beginning to raise himself up on his elbows, “I’m really not expecting you to do that for me,”

“You really think you’re the only one who’s been dreaming of how you taste?” you quip with a small smirk, pressing one hand flat against his chest to lower him back down. You struggle with his belt buckle and he quickly intervenes to undo it and his fly, so eager for you, and you can tug his pants down to reveal his muscular thighs, perfectly framing the thick cock straining against his boxers.

You’re a little taken aback - he’s bigger, and thicker than you were expecting. You almost tentatively reach out to free him from his underwear, and swallow when you see him bare in front of you. Dean’s cock is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, and even after your orgasm you feel your pussy ache with need for it. Wrapping a hand around the base, you hold him as you lick one slow, teasing stroke up his length, barely even making contact with his warm, throbbing skin. 

Dean throws his head back in response, biting his lip as you smirk and repeat the action, looking up at him with hooded eyes, “Son of a bitch Y/N, you’re driving me crazy” he moans, looking back. You smirk at his reaction, then in one fluid motion take him into your mouth and swallow him down until he’s hitting the back of your throat.

It knock’s the wind out of him and he gasps, one hand reaching out to grab at your arm as you begin bobbing your head up and down, focusing hard on keeping your throat as open for him as possible. It takes him a moment to be able to react, and by the time you’re coming up for air panting he’s desperately gathering your hair in his fist to hold back before you sink back down his length.

His cock is heavy against your tongue, and you swirl it as far round his length as your can, hollowing your cheeks, so desperate to make him feel so damn good. You sink lower again, eyes watering as you concentrate on taking him as deep as you can but suddenly Dean pulls you off his cock with a satisfying pop, leaving you whining in protest. 

“God Y/N I want so bad to fuck your throat until my cum is spilling from your pretty lips, but I gotta be inside that warm pussy of yours, and that’s not gonna happen if you keep going like that” he grunts, pulling you up the bed roughly and pushing you onto your back.

Your head falls at the foot of the bed and he leans to fumble through his bedside drawer for a condom, and you take the opportunity to rid yourself of your vest and bra. His eyes rake over you in lust as he spreads your legs open to hug his hips, pumping his cock and shifting up on his knees to line himself up to your pussy. The strength he used to move your body has made you that much wetter, your desire for him to fuck you almost desperate.

Cock firm in his hand, Dean moves in and brushes his tip against your wet folds making your breath hitch in your throat at the sensation. You’re definitely desperate now, and you rock your hips up so that his head drags along your pussy, melting at how exquisite it feels.

“Gonna make you feel so good Y/N..” he mutters just before he slowly enters you.

Your jaw falls open as Dean’s cock fills you up inch by delicious inch, his pace devilishly slow as you stretch to accommodate him. He feels impossibly bigger inside you than he did in your mouth, all your senses are alive and everything is Dean, Dean, Dean. Once he’s full seated inside you, he whistles a breath out through pursed lips and whispers “god fucking damn”.

Already he’s slowly pulling himself out, and when just his tip is inside you he drops his torso down to lean over you, then looks you in the eye. Your lips meet for one desperate needy kiss, then he snaps his hips back up into you and buries his cock home in one thrust making you scream out in pure pleasure.

Dean sets an unforgiving pace immediately, gripping your hips as your legs drape over his thighs and you’re vaguely aware that you’re chanting a series of please, yes, fuck, Dean, more, so fucking good…. Your words spur him on, and his cock swells at seeing you so undone under his touch, all his, moaning and panting just for him. He runs his palms up your sides to cup your tits, bouncing with his thrusts and he bites his lip, cursing loudly.

Your bodies aren’t close enough, and Dean pulls you up abruptly, bringing you flush against his body as he moves with you. He’s is all hands, clutching onto you and grabbing at your head as he thrusts up into your sweet pussy like it’s the best thing he’s ever felt, his cock dragging over that sweet spot inside you with a relentless intensity. You claw at his back, definitely leaving scratch marks and suddenly it’s all becoming too much - you can feel another orgasm looming.

“God Dean don’t s-stop, fuck I’m gonna come” you whine, voice stammering as he fucks up into you.

“Come with me baby- fuck, come with me” he grunts, his brow screwed up as he tries to hold on to let you finish first, “Come around my fucking cock,” he begs.

The band snaps and you fall apart, your pussy fluttering around Dean as you call his name out in what sounds like a sob.

“Jesus fuck Y/N, goddamn” he all but growls, his hips staggering as he shoots his load inside you. You have never, ever come this hard, and he pulses his cock inside you even while he’s coming to drag your high out for as long as possible.

You cling onto each other as you ride your orgasms out, half out of fear of passing out at the intensity of it all. You collapse back on each other, sweat slick skin on sweat slick skin and for a moment, all you can do is just stay on Dean’s chest, panting and regathering yourself as the two of you lie there, entangled in each other.

Dean breaks the silence after a couple of moments: “Holy fucking shit” he says, with a small laugh, hand resting on the small of your back.

“That’s what I was about to say” you chuckle back between pants, breath still stabilising.

Dean kisses the top of your head, gently pulls himself out of you and discreetly discards his condom, immediately leaning back to tuck you into his arms. Your pussy is still pulsing, and you bask in the aftershocks of your orgasms as Dean presses kisses to your head.

“Let’s get some sleep” he murmurs, shifting you so that your back is flush against his warm chest. He envelopes you, and you feel contentment radiating off of you. There’s silence, and you almost think Dean has fallen asleep until he clears his throat softly.

“Thank you, Y/N” he says sincerely.

His words hang in the air for a moment before you respond. “Always” you whisper.

Dean hesitates for a moment, uncertainty wavering, then whispers low, almost under his own breath:“I love you”.

It’s confessed so quietly, so fearfully, that you almost don’t catch it. Your heart is pounding, and you gently turn onto your back, moving to look him in the eye. The fluttering in your stomach feel like it’s going to explode out of you as you whisper back, “I love you too Dean.”

You move together in synchronicity to kiss - a new kiss, delicate, almost chaste and full of deeper meaning. Dean cups your jaw lightly in one hand, and the tenderness of it makes your heart surge with love. You’re so excited to wake up and have this night be real come the morning.

“Rest now”, you say against his lips, taking a hand to stroke his hair. He nestles into you, arms wrapped around your waist and holding you tight. 

You hold Dean, running your fingers softly through his scalp until he drifts into a peaceful sleep. A small smile is fixed on your face as you watch him, and it’s not long until you succumb to a deep sleep as well.

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This one just kept on adding to itself - phew. I’m gonna need a minute.

Thanks to my gorgeous Supernatural tag list: @deandreamernp​ @eunomiasloane​

Let me know if you’d like to be added!

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[betweentheracks]

LGBTQ+ and Queer Operated/Founded Brands

A composite list of some of the notable brands I have worked with or been in contact with throughout my time as a stylist. Rooted in queer communities, founded by LGBTQ+ designers, and dedicated to pursuing gender inclusive styles as well as providing an uplifting community committed to showcasing the talents of LGBTQ+ persons. A number of these also have a deal of activity in supporting POC or black owned and operated fashion brands and design studios. 

Otherwild: Los Angeles, California. 

Queer identified and woman-owned, Otherwild was established in 2012. It is a store, design studio, and event space. They offer apparel and accessories, as well as lo/no-waste home cleaning products and personal care products. Very grassroots and have a foundation of ethics and sustainability, working in earnest to establish a countercultural relationship to exploitative, extractive, and excessive consumer capitalist culture. They’re quite cost-effective with fair pricing on their range of products.

Rebirth Garments: Chicago, Illinois.

Entirely gender non-conforming, Rebirth Garments caters specifically to all non-binary, trans, and disabled. Their clothing line is custom made upon order, touting a distinct lack of standard sizes since part of their mission and manifesto is to tailor their styles to exactly the consumer’s specifications regardless of body type. Their party line is “Radical Visibility” and have a zine under the same name; their manifesto expressed as a desire to establish and nurture a community of people that have been excluded from mainstream fashion but are still deserving of an outlet to feel confident in expressing pride in the intersections of identity. Their materials are all vibrant and wild, bold and exuberant as a means to challenge the ableist and sizest ideals of mainstream fashions which still centers on gender and binary conforming styles. -- They also offer virtual lessons on accessibility, entrepreneurship, and much more. 

Automic Gold: New York City, New York.

Queer owned and queer operated all inclusive jewelry, Automic Gold promotes their products as the most comfortable and versatile jewelry available. The founder is genderqueer and makes a point to create truly genderless accessories and does so with designs that specifically mix and warp the essence of masculinity and femininity, bringing together that which is both outside and inside to form that which is beyond. Sustainable and eco-friendly, all of their jewelry is made from reclaimed gold and 100% recyclable material. Automic Gold is the only known jeweler that carries rings in sizes 2 to 16 and utilize this point to shade the fashion industry for being so constrained by sizing standards. 

Wildfang:  Los Angeles, California/Portland, Oregon.

Women found, women run, women oriented. Wildfang is seated in the belief that women can and should wear whatever they want and be whatever they want. They give much of their profits to charities and organizations that center on the rights of the oppressed communities, namely queer, reproductive, and immigrant activism. Their collections offer full suits tailored to a female body, workwear made of truly durable materials to outlast even the worst of working conditions, and button ups that won’t gap at the boobs and are not super form-fitting. They promote the sort of modern feminism that holds no underlying toxic ideals of woman’s superiority, and works in the name of women having their rights unrestricted so that they can live their fullest lives with a true sense of self and self-worth alike. 

STUZO CLOTHING: Los Angeles, California.

Steeped in the ideals of love, people, and life STUZO celebrates existence without emphasis on identity. Women owned and black owned, STUZO offers apparel with no gender bias with designs meant to invoke thought and feeling; an experience of the self, expressed without boundary. STUZO looks at clothing as being without life and therefore cannot be limited by borders of gender; textiles worn and filled out by consumers breathing life into them.

PYRAMID SEVEN: Chicago, Illinois.

A niche brand; they provide boxer briefs for periods, not gender. Their philosophy and belief is that regardless of where you fall on the gender spectrum or identify yourself as, if you menstruate you should be wearing their briefs. Designed with comfort and protection in mind, PYRAMID SEVEN briefs offer assurance that there is no longer a need to worry about leakage or bagginess - discomfort does not exist in their brand. These briefs are made to be used either in tandem with menstrual products of all kinds or even for free bleeding, it’s all at behest to comfort during an uncomfortable time. They are also advocates of privacy and neither reveal themselves too freely nor make comments on their consumer base, only expressing the validity of their representation being that of all who menstruate. 

Fluide: Brooklyn, New York.

Beauty brand founded by a mother’s goal to establish a gender-expansive beauty line to celebrate under-represented faces and voice, supporting young people’s self-expression and creativity. Fluide is queer oriented and offers a full range of vegan/cruelty free cosmetics for all skin tones + types and gender expression. Their belief is that makeup is joyful, transformative, and meant to be inclusive of all with a wish of being expressive and to invent themselves as they want to be seen. They are a platform of queer voices showcasing queer beauty and work with many LGBTQ+ non-profits and advocate for revolutionizing the world of fashion and all of it’s mainstream conception of beauty standards and create a style space of authenticity.

Official Rebrand: New York City, New York. 

A unique brand founded by a non-binary artist, Official Rebrand revives discarded clothing and remakes designs by breathing life back into what was unwanted. The mastermind behind the concept paints or otherwise alters (rebrands) items that have been cast aside and turns them into works of art which in turn proposes an anti-waste alternative.  The rebranding process strips clothing of their proposed gender categories and promotes the fluidity of identity. Official Rebrand dominates the medium where art and fashion overlap, reintroducing his pieces without any sense of today’s arbitrary societal constraints. 

PHLEMUNS: Los Angeles, California. 

Black and queer owned/operated, PHLEMUNS is a non-binary all inclusive brand that seeks to merge elements of nostalgia and modern contemporary fashion. With a goal of bridging the gap between high fashion and every day communities, this brand takes what is called a slow-fashion approach to their designs and crafts meticulously and intentionally on styles meant to be seen as accessible, inclusive, and wholly unisex. This is a brand which exists in the grey areas of society, fashion, and thrives on the idea of intersecting identity. 

NO SESSO: Los Angeles, California.

The brand name itself is Italian for “no sex/gender” and the fashion it produces truly encompasses this meaning. This is a fashion house that cranks out collections specifically targeting conventions of art, fashion, and culture. Their lines offer ranges in color, fabrics, prints, and reconstructed materials but their true signature is hand embroidery. Much of their collections are made from upcycled fabrics and materials found at flea markets and make use of patchwork designs as a motif of their community-based foundations. Think streetwear but couture, and this is what NO SESSO is defined by. 

gc2b: Maryland, USA.

Trans-owned, founded, and operated. gc2b produced the first chest binder and snapped off transitional apparel and established themselves as the first gender-affirming company in the industry. The credence of the company is comfortable, safe, and accessible binding options designed by trans people for trans people and to accomodate the vast spectrum of humanity. gc2b has donated over 6000 binders to those in need and sponsors over 100 LGBTQ+ organizations while working extensively with LGBTQ+ communities and charities to raise funds and awareness. 

Likely I will revise this post from time to time and update the listing. 

I really like being able to use my position as a platform to provide notice of undervalued communities within the fashion industry and world of style. I have often purchased outright and incorporated many key pieces of some of my most notable styles and ensembles from LGBTQ+ brands that deserve recognition and think of it as a soft promotion of their talent and falls within the conduct my company expects me to abide. 

Originally I did intend to have links in this post to make checking them out easier, but I was having some issues with tumblr being crotchety and had to forgo them sadly. Still, I encourage anyone interested to take a peek at their online sites or social medias - they’re all very lovely and inspirational!

[remuswriting]

Haikyuu Gender and Sexuality Headcanons

These are all my ideas and I only did Headcanons over characters I know a lot about and feel confident in doing so.  I know there are more characters than just these but I don’t want to bullshit it. Hopefully, you guys will enjoy these.

Karasuno

Daichi: Gym obsessed gay guy who dates hot guys from his gym.

Sugawara: Nonbinary and uses he/him pronouns.  He’s gay and constantly tells Daichi to get on Tinder instead of dating people at his gym.

Asahi: Also nonbinary but uses they/them pronouns.  Their masculinity can be a lot at times and it makes them dysphoric but their lovely boyfriend helps them out.  Also pansexual.

Nishinoya: Bisexual with a lean for women and is dating Asahi.  He hypes Asahi up whenever needed and helps them feel valid when that’s needed too.

Tanaka: Straight and dating Kiyoko.  Definitely had a crush on Ennoshita but didn’t really realize it.  He fights people who say he’s not actually straight because Kiyoko isn’t a ‘real woman.’

Ennoshita: He is gay and was 100% in love with Tanaka their third year.

Narita: Bisexual and likes Kinoshita but will most definitely never say anything.

Kinoshita: Gay and literally just trying to get through life without thinking too much about love.

Kageyama: Genderfluid with pronouns she/him/their and it’s typically he/them.  Shows what their gender is that day through clip on earrings (Hinata’s idea) and everyone respects it.  They’re aroace and cringe when anyone accuses them of dating Hinata.

Hinata: He is a transboy who struggles with really intense dysphoria but his teammates try to help him out.  He’s also bisexual with a huge male lean and his first crush was Sugawara.  Kenma was the person he had the biggest crush on all throughout high school though.  Their relationship is never really defined and eventually Hinata does date Atsumu.

Tsukishima: He’s nonbinary with using mainly he/him pronouns but there are days where they will announce they/them pronouns to the gym.

Yamaguchi: She is a trans girl and is so, so pretty!  She’s a lesbian and dating Yachi.  She doesn’t mind playing on the boys’ team because of the fact that most of them are trans like her and don’t push any boundaries.

Yachi: She is also a trans girl, which is how she and Yamaguchi bonded (besides being on the same team).  Literally she and Yamaguchi are the cutest lesbian couple you will ever see.

Kiyoko: Another trans girl, which is why she is so overprotective of Yachi. She’s straight and loves Tanaka for always defending her.

Nekoma

Kenma: Nonbinary but uses he/him pronouns and presents as man.  He’s gay but doesn’t form crushes easily.  Totally in love with Hinata and was the first person to call Hinata ‘Shouyou’ even after Hinata said he was trans.  Although he never actually confesses his feelings to Hinata, he still stays in his life and supports him as long as he can.  Would also probably send money over to Brazil and tell him to get top surgery and then gets to see the photos of Hinata in a tank top on the beach (Kenma can’t handle the cuteness)

Kuroo: Bisexual but still struggles to date anyone (Kenma always teases him about it) and is in love with Yaku but acts like he’s not.

Yaku: He’s a trans boy who gets a lot of dysphoria around his height thinks about killing Lev whenever they make a comment on it.  He’s pansexual and acts like he hates Kuroo, yet he’s in love with him.

Lev: They’re non-binary, only the team uses they/them pronouns because Lev was informed people at the school may not be all that accepting of someone who only uses they/them pronouns.  Also gay and has a thing for Hinata (like everyone does) and wants to show that they are cool enough for Hinata to date them.

Kai is straight and cisgender but he is the most understanding towards everyone. He will sit and listen to them talk or go shopping with them if they’re too scared to go alone or just practice with them a bit longer.  He’s just a good person.

Aobajohsai

Oikawa: He’s homoromantic asexual.  Feels like he has to act overly sexual at times because he has a rough relationship with his sexuality.  He’ll fight anyone who is transphobic or homophobic to anyone though.  Kind of has a thing for Sugawara but will never say it.

Iwaizumi: A transboy that has had toxic masculinity driven into him since he was really young.  Oikawa tries to help him with getting rid of that mindset but instead Iwaizumi lashes out at Oikawa, which Tooru prefers than the other doing it to himself. Iwaizumi is pansexual but just hasn’t had any attraction to anyone due to dealing with his gender.

Kunimi: He’s gay.  I don’t have anything else to add, just that he’s gay.

Hanamaki: So gay and teases Oikawa about the fact that he has a boyfriend while Oikawa doesn’t.

Matsukawa: Bisexual and dating Hanamaki.  Also makes fun of Oikawa but not as much.

Fukurodani

Akaashi: Genderfluid with the base pronouns of they/them for people they know very well and he/him for people they don’t know very well.  They have she/her days very rarely but when they happen, Bokuto always somehow knows and brings something pretty for the setter to wear like a bracelet or clip on earrings.  They’re pansexual and have an intense crush on Bokuto, who is oblivious.

Bokuto: Biggest Akaashi supporter you will ever meet.  He’s gay and in love with Akaashi and doesn’t know if he’s actually gay if he’s in love with them.  Yukie has to explain to him how he can still be gay and be in love with Akaashi.  He and Akaashi don’t start until they’re both done with high school.

Shiratorizawa

Goshiki: A nervous bisexual who is constantly overwhelmed by how pretty everyone is.  He leans more towards girls but has his fair share of gay panic (Ushijima).

Tendou: He is extremely gay and in love with Ushijima.  He starts crafting all these elaborate ideas on how to confess and then Ushijima confessed instead.

Ushijima: Demiromantic gay.  Probably thought he was aromantic for a long time until he realized he was in love with Tendou.  Probably told Tendou that if he had just said he liked him, then he would’ve accepted without a huge show.

Semi: They are nonbinary and their main pronouns are they/them, which the team uses, while everyone else uses he/him because they’re scared of people harassing them.  They also just continue to dress like a high school ‘boy’ and doesn’t feminize themselves because they don’t like how the media portrays every nonbinary person doing that to be valid when they’re happy in their own skin but just use different pronouns and isn’t called any masculine terms like guy/boy/man.  Hasn’t figured out their sexuality.

Shirabu: This little shit is gay and in love with Semi but doesn’t know how to show affection.  He insults them (not in a bigotry way) instead of complimenting them and assumes they’d understand he likes them.  Most likely will never confess.

Date Tech

Aone: He’s gay, in love with Hinata, and knows he doesn’t have a chance sadly.

Koganegawa: Biggest bisexual you’ll ever meet, he leans more towards guys but claims he’s more into girls. Probably fell in love with Hinata the moment he saw him but will never admit to it.

Miscellaneous

Sakusa: He’s homoromantic asexual.  He starts off as being sex repulsed in high school because germs and messes, also just doesn’t see the appeal.  Becomes sex neutral when he joins MSBY Black Jackal, still doesn’t care for sex but would maybe do it if he loved his partner enough (also things would be as mess free as possible).

Atsumu: Raging homosexual who falls in love easily but falls out of love just as fast.  In love with Hinata, fell out of love while the other was away in Brazil but all his feelings come back when he sees him ay MSBY Black Jackal try-outs.  Tried to confess once and Kageyama told him that he wasn’t worthy enough to date their best friend (Tsukishima agreed with them too).  Hinata confesses and asks why it’s taken Atsumu for so long and they fall (more) in love.

Osamu: He’s pansexual and really tired of dealing with Atsumu’s gay panic. Probably told him that Hinata loves guys who have a slit in their eyebrows just to see his brother look stupid for a month while it grew back.

Hoshiumi: Incredibly gay. He is in love with Hinata but thinks it’s just a rivalry.  Is jealous of Kageyama because he thinks they dated Hinata when Kageyama would rather choke on their own vomit than date someone they see as a brother.

[calliecat93]

Callie’s Disney Princess Retrospective: Beauty and the Beast

(Snow White) (Cinderella) (Sleeping Beauty) (The Little Mermaid)

The Little Mermaid was a huge success for Disney. It was such a big success that it began the Renaissance Era of Disney Animation and returned Disney to the top animation studio. While many people such as John Musker, Ron Clements, and Glen Keane can be credited for the film's success, the biggest player by far was lyricist Howard Ashman. He put his heart and soul into the film, and not just with song lyrics. He wanted the characters to connect to the audience. He wanted to play a part in the story. He wanted this film to be something special, and he succeeded. But he was also frustrated, could be argumentative when others didn't like his vision, and unknown to everyone, he was dying. After winning two Oscars for The Little Mermaid's music, Howard revealed to composer Alan Menken that he had AIDS, and he didn't have much longer to live.

However, Ashman wasn't going down before completing one more film. Though he had been writing music for Aladdin, he ultimately ended up as the lyricist of another film. A film that had been through many different iterations and was handed off to newbie directors. Little did anyone know just how impactful this film would be for Disney, and for the industry as a whole. Well, except for Ashman himself. The film that we are discussing today is the first animated film to ever, ever be nominated for Best Feature. That film is 1991''s Beauty and the Beast.

Overview

Belle is a beautiful young woman, but is seen as an oddity in her village due to her love of books and her utter disinterest in local heartthrob Gaston. When her father, an inventor named Maurice, leaves for a science fair, he ends up taking refuge in an old, abandoned castle. But the castle is actually enchanted and acts as the home to dozens of talking inanimate objects... and a fearsome beast. When Belle goes looking for her father, she offers to take his place as the Beast’s prisoner. But during her time in the castle, Belle discovers that this Beast may not be as much of a monster as he appears, and this may lead to both discovering true love...

Review

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I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that this is by far one of Disney’s most beloved films. It got praise form both critics and movie-goers when it came out, and it’s only become more beloved in the nearly 20 years since. Belle is praised as a feminist's icon and the film for it’s themes of toxic masculinity, judging a book by it’s cover, and some of the darker aspects of society like those we blindly praise. I... like the film, but I never loved it to the extent as others. Not because it’s bad, that is a ridiculous notion. I just liked other films more and Belle just didn’t interest me as others like Cinderella or Mulan or Ariel. But seeing it again as an adult who has seen the darker aspects of society since I was a kid, it REALLY rings more deeply than it did back then.

One aspect that no one can argue about is the animation. The film is beautiful. It has some of Disney’s best animators at the time such as Glen Keene, Mark Henn, Andreas Deja, and so much more. There was so much life put into the film and it is a true visual spectacle.I meant hey managed to take inaminate objects, and bring them to life. Sure they have faces to help humanize them, but to make us believe that these are talking, moving objects that were once human is still a VERY difficult task. But they have so much personality like the suave, passionate candlesick Lumiere or the stuffy, orderly Cogsworth. The backgrounds andf settings are also great fromt he Sleepy Hollow-esque village to the gothic castle of The Beast, to the creedy woods that look even more terrifying when it snows. There’s so much color and lighting that is used so well, especially with the castle eminating so much mystery and intrigue compared tot he plain village that Belle is from.

But the setting we all remember most of all is the ballroom. While Disney has been using CGI some before, such as Big Ben in The Great Mouse Detective (yes,t hat WHOLE setting was computer graphics), this is probably the biggest use to date. The ballroom is a gorgeous golden color and looks so big and vast. It takes you’re breath away. There’s a reason why this is the most well-remembered part of the film. The animaiton for this film was very straining, especially due to conditios to accomodate Ashman that we’ll get to later. It was stressful, but they absoluteley put their all into it. When you watcht he ballroom sequence, added to the dance and Angela Lansbury’s lovely vocals, you forget that you’re even watching a movie. It feels like... well, love. It’s by far one of Disney’s best looking features.

As I said in the intro, the film ultimately fell into the laps of two relatively rookie animators; Kirk Wise and Gary Trousdale. This was after several various attempts to adapt the film, with none successful. Wise and Trousdale’s biggest claim to fame at the time was doing animaiton for EPCOT’s now defunct Cranium Command attraction (look up Who Stole Buzzy, boy is THAT a story) and while they had worked on other features, they had never been in the director seats. To make it more difficult, due to Ashman’s health continuing to gradually decline, Katzenburg decided to move produciton over to New York to spare him from having to travel. Which is a VERY noble effort and it’s sweet that they were willing to do so to keep working with Ashman, but as you can imagine this was quite a strain on the production team and as before, they would sometimes clash with Ashman and his vision. Still, they along with Menken returning as composer and writer Linda Woolverton, they reworked the then-script into something that they were happy with.

The setting is very reminiscent of another Disney work, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. One of two segments from the Package Film Era feature The Adventure of Ichabod and Mr. Toad. We all know the story of Ichabod and his infamous ride where he encountered the Headless Horseman. Here we have a similar quaint village where people seem rather simple-minded. Like in Sleepy Hollow where everyone took notice tot he rather strange looking Ichabod Crane, we see a similar notice of Belle who is an anomaly to them. Though unlike Ichabod, who had pretty much everyone under his thumb and is kind of a gold diging jerk, Belle is ostracized and is a FAR better person. Gaston bears a striking resemblance to Brom Bones in both looks and social status (tough Brom isn’t as bad in comparison or even compared to Ichabod, though still a Jerk Jock) and the Bimbettes bear a bit of similarity to Katrina. I wouldn’t be surprised if the crew used Sleepy Hollow as inspiration for setting and character design. Only thing missing is the Headless Horseman, which that would have been interesting XD

The film deals with several topics. There’s the standard ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’ and ‘true love conquers all’ messages. Both of which are handled very well. But there are also some that IDT Disney had ever really tackled to this point. There’s encouraging women to make their own choices, which Disney HAS tackled but this one does it differently with Belle rejecting the standard good-looking man and falling for the monstrous looking one. In fact there is really a strong theme tearing down toxic masculinity and male entitlement. It says that no, men are not obligated to a woman and that women have the freedom to reject them no matter the societal pressure. Especially if they act as despicable as Gaston. With how much more aware we’ve become of how horrible some men in power can be and how they use that power on vulnerable women, this remains a relevant message to todays audience. It let’s women be empowered, confident, and enjoy things like reading as well as have the hope of finding those who will be accepting. These are all important things, and the film does an excellent job in showing it and what actual love should be like. The Beast especially starts as a jerk, but once he decides to become better and wants to be better for no ulterior reasons, he proves worthy of Belle’s love. That’s how love should be and how a person should change themselves. Again, very well done.

Despite his health and being downcast about not completing Aladdin, Ashman still put his all into the film. As I said, they outright shifted production to another state at a time when social media and things like Skype and Zoom were a distant dream. Still, Ashman along with Menken put their all into the soundtrack, and it paid off big time. This film, along with The Little Mermaid, really set up the precedent for Broadway-style animaed films and considering that they continue to be successful, I’d say that that says a lot. There are a lot of memorable songs int his fimlm, and there’s even some that didn’t make it in. One in particular, Human Again, actualy got animated and added back for the film’s IMAX release and various home media releases (sadly it’s not in the Disney+ version). The score is also very well done, especially at the end. Just listen to the music when the Beast finally turns human again. It added to the outright magical animation will leave you in awe as much as Belle was.

But what about the vocal tracks? Good question. Let’s go over them:

Belle/Belle Reprise: Our first song which as the name suggests, is about our leading lady. It does a lovely job establishing her character as a book-loving, intelligent young woman feeling that there was be more than this life ans village that she remains stuck in. It also establishes the village’s rather simple-mindedness and socital expectatons, finding Belle a beautiful but very strange girl because of her loving reading more than getting married. It also establishes Gaston’s smugness, entitlement, and holding the entire village’s admiration, The music is optimistic, but there’s a lot here that’s gonna take a dark turn a the film goes on. The reprise is short and more somber, but let’s Belle express her unwillignness to marry a man like Gaston, wanting to find love on her own terms. Little does she know what’s awating her right after.

Gaston: No one can have a song named after Gaston like Gaston! Yeah, this inspired plenty of meme’s, didn’t it? Even Disney itself has gotten in on the fun haha! But seriously, this is a fun villain song. I gotta give Gaston this, he’s a smug, horrible person but he shows that he can back up many of his boasts. I don’t doubt that he can eat dozens of eggs a day or is as strong as an ox. The song also further shows the town’s utter blind devotion to this brute, not being concerned about his entitlement to a girl who clearly isnt interest and more because of how handsome and grand he is. Isn’t society fun kids?! But then at the end, after Maurice is kicked out, it takes a darker turn as Gaston makes his plans to essentially blackmail Belle with her father’s safety... and right back to blind praise! I feel zero sympathy for any of the villagers in this film. But yeah, a song with a lot of dark implications, but still a very enjoyable villain song.

Be Our Guest: This is a true show-stopper, and I’m not just saying that. Lumiere wanted to create a show, and BOY did he succeed. The song is the most like a Broadway number in it’s composition and grand feeling. The fact that we have a huge number full fo singing, dancing, stuntwork, etc is being done by a bunch of dishes and pretty freakin’ impressive. Yet the animators gave it all so much life and Jerry Orback sings with so much passion and energy and it is just SO much fun to watch! Especially with poor Cogsworth at first trying to get everyone to calm down, but by the end he gets real into it... well until Lumiere knocks him to the side. The only negative is that for being a song about serving Belle dinner, aside form a bit of The Grey Stuff she didn’t even eat dinner. For shame! So 1 out fo 10 of food servive, but the show was worthy of two thumbs up!

Something More: This was the song that replaced Human Again. It’s a sweet song about Belle and Beast beginning to realize their feelings the more that they spend aroudn each other. Belle sees that Beast may not be very well-mannered or much of a looker, but he does have a good heart and the more they interact, the more it begins to show. Belle’s kindness, intellience, and willingness to look beyond the surface has Beast falling in love with her, yet his fear of being a monster is still holding him back. Still as we see the two do things like have dinner, play in the snow, or even Beast letting Belle read to him, the more we see that spark of love slowly grow, even if they haven’t fully grasped it. It helps advance the romance, and it’s just really sweet.

Beauty and the Beast: The song that won Menken and Ashman another Oscar. It’s not hard to see why either. The song is beautiful. It’s performed by Angela Lansbury, and her gentle vocals accompanies by the gentle orchestra is just lovely. The woman outright did the song in one take. One take. That is insane, yet it happened. And I can see why because the song is just beautiful. It adds to much to the already majestic ballroom scene, being about two unlikely individuals finding love and ultimately making the other a better person. It’s just a work of beauty. There’s also the pop version by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson, which I also really love. It’s more commerical, but still very pretty especially with Celine’s gorgeous singing voice. Both versions are beautiful, and the first thing I think of when I think of this film... and no, not just beause of the name.

The Mob Song: This is exactly as you would expect with a song with that title. It’s dark, angry, and scary. Gaston rallies the troops to kill The Beast, convincing them that he is a danger to them all. They grab their torches, weapons, and there’s just this tense atmosphere throughout. This is the culminaiton of al the socital expectations and blind devotion to a person who doesn’t at all deserve it. It’s also a very accurate protrayal of the mob mentality, where you become a part of this hivemind following the rest of the crowd no matter how wrong it may be and despite your own senebilities. The only ones who don’t fall into it, Belle and Maurice, get tossed into a basement for their trouble. What makes this song sad though? In Disney+’s documentary Howard, produced by Don Hahn who also produced this film, it was explained how in the eyes of several of his colleagues, it seemed like Ashman was venting about the AIDS epidemic. That was a VERY dark time where the gay community was especially under fire, persecuted, hated, and so many other horrible things because the world chose to blame them for it. Ashman was a gay man. He had an ex partner die of AIDS, and had another partner at the time who talked about him in the documentary. Imagine being scapegoated just because of your sexuality, even though you never caused any harm, and society hated on you and others fell into he mob mentality, and they went as far as to either demand you to die or do the job themselves. All because you were different. Really adds a new perspecive to the song, doesn’t it? This can be applied to so many groups too, which makes the song even scarier, but also emphasize even more how dangerous the mob mentality is. Very effective song.

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Sadly, Howard wouldn’t live to see all of his numbers to completion. With his health declining rapidly, Menken and various others went back and forth between Burbank and New York in order to work with him. Ashman worked until he psycially couldn’t anymore. He was even giving notes to performers like Paige O’Hara despite barely being able to talk. He managed to complete his work, at least to my knowledge, before his passing on March 14th, 1991, just a few months before the film’s release. After a screentest, which proved very successful, Don Hahn and some other colleagues went to see Ashman in the hospital to say their goodbyes. Hahn told him of the reception, and jokingly asked who would ahve expected that the film would have turned out so great? Ashman’s response? “I did.” The work he managed to do for Aladdin would be included in the film, which we’ll discuss when we get to that one. The soundtrack won the Oscar which was awarded to Ashman (as well as Menken) posthumously and a dedication to him was including at the end of the film. It’s always sad to see such a talented individual leave us far too soon, but his work truly brought new life to Disney and is beloved even all these years later. That is a legacy that will never fade.

Now we get to characters, and we have quite a good number of them. We have of course the village that Belle is from. On the surface, they seem like pretty plain people, satisfied with their way of life. But this also causes them to at least not think highly of those who break from that way of life. The men work, the women care for the children. If men don’t work, they’re jerk slobs. They all especially fall into blind admiration for the strong, handsome Gaston who is hailed as a local hero. So much so that no one gives ANY of his terrible actions an ounce of consideraiton. Selling Maurcie tot he looney bin? Well he’s alreafy viewed as crazy, so ah well. Belle trying to tell them that The Beast isn’t a monster? While their first imprression of him is defeniteley a bad one, the fact that they listen to Gaston and not the woman who actually interacted with The Beast says a lot about how simple minded they all are. I hope they learned their lesson after all was said and done, but even if not Belle doesn’t have to pay them any mind anyways.

The only person who is accepting of Belle is her father, Maurice. He’s viewed as a crackpot, but Maurice is a good-hearted, smart, and perfectly sensible man. He’s a bit of a goof with how his inventions can go haywire, but otherwise is no diferent from any other person. But like his daughter, his interests have him judged instead of what he’s like as a person. It’s especially sad when he tries to get help to save Belle, and he is merely laughed at and thrown out because of his status. Maurice is a loving father, accepting of Belle and of her interests and choices. She isn’t interested in Gaston? Fine with him. People view her as odd? That’s utterly ridiculous. It’s really nice to have a parent who is supportive and involved int heir kids life, especally compared to Triton last time who may be caring, but is utterly against everything that matters to Ariel. In fact it’s the firs ttime we’ve had this since Snow White and Cinderlla’s parents are dead and their stepmothers are horrible, Aurora grew up away from her otherwise caring parents, and Ariel... it’s complicated. Maurice is a good guy and it is good that Belle has someone who accepts her unconditionaly. She loves him so much that she sacrificed her happiness for him twice to protect him, which really shows how strong their bond is.

That brings us to our villain, Gaston. He is a hunter who is muscular, handsome, and has physical skills that he can back up. However he is also entitled, egotistical, sefish, and just a horrible person. He wants to marry Belle only because of her beauty and instead of trying to get to know her or shifitng atteniton to any of the girls who would gladly grovel before him, he pursues her despite her not liking him. It’s especially bad when he goes to her house, sets up a huge engagement party, and gets into her personal space in his attempts to charm her. She not only rejects him, but promptly humiliates him. Yet instead of thinking that he had tried far too hard and jumped the gun, he blames Belle for daring to reject him. He reflects exactly how society can view someone like him. No one thinks about the woman, they only see a good-looking man get rejected despite us not knowing anything about ther perosn or their relaitonship. Especially if that man is essentially a celebrity, which makes people look past anyhing.

But none of these things are indicitive of an evil perosn. An arrogant jerk yes, but not evil. That all changes when, after Maurice tries to get help, Gaston comes up with a new plan. He decides to have Maurice admitted to an asylum for being crazy, and to use this to force Belle to marry him. This is what shifts Gaston from a jerk to a true villain. This is how far his entitlement and selfishness goes. He is willing to take Belle’s own elderly father and use him and his freedom as blackmail to force her to marry him. Even compared to the four villainesses before him who committed horrible acts such as attempted murder, mental/emotional abuse, and even attempting world domination, this is utterly despicable. Then there's him deciding to kill The Beast. Despite what he says, it's not because of the potential risk to the town, it's solely because he sees that Belle loves him and can't stand it. He outright calls her crazy AND locks her and Maurice up out of pure entitlement and selfishness. He doesn't give a damn about Belle or her though and well-being. Only about his own.

Gaston is entertaining, but very much evil. As I said above he bears a lot of similarity to Brom Bones from Disney's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. A muscular jock-like figure often the most beautifiul girl in town. Only while Brom was a jerk, he was arguably less bad than Ichabod Crane depending how you looked at it. Gaston essentially has Brom's muscles an Ichabod's selfishness. He cares only for himself and his own pride. Admittedly he put up a decent fight against The Beast, but that's only because Beast wasn’t fighting back until he saw Belle. When he did, Gaston whimpered and begged like the pathetic man that he is. Then he stabbed him despite being spared out of pure spite. An act that cost him his life. Fun fact, originally he survived the fall and was truly killed via the wolves. They ended up saving that for Scar's death in The Lion King. But yeah, Gaston died in the undignifiedmanner that he deserved. A despicable but memorable villain who was perfect for this film.

Then we have the castle characters. You’d think that it would be difficult to give life to a bunch of furniture and appliances... and it probably was. But this movie makes it look easy. They do give most of them humanoid features, like eyes and a mouth, but not all of them and even then it would be so easy to make it look creepy. But the castle staff is just os much fun and beaming with personality. We’re gonna discuss the main four: Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, and Chip.

Lumiere is a candlestick, which matches his passionate characterization. He’s a showman. A romantic. A more daring, out-going character compared to his frequent frenemy Cogsworth. Cogsworth is a clock and I think he’s implied to be the Beast’s butler or some other kind of advisor. He’s stuffy, nervous, and the most lawful of the characters. Though he CAN get into the fun of things with a little provoking as demonstrated in Be Our Guest and the big battle during the climax. Hoenstly, Be Our Guest is a great number to demonstrate the two’s contrasitng perosnalities. Belle has been banned from eating and Cogsworth doens’t want to both break the Beast’s orders nor cause a bunch of noise that would anger him. Lumiere however? He’s dead set on getting Belle to fall for the Beast, so she should be treated as their guest, not a prisoner. Plus he and the other staff are tired after ten years of being stuck as they are and all alone, so cue the extravagant show number. Lumiere is having the time of his life while Cogsworth tries to convince everyone to stop... but by the end gets caught up in it and joins in ont he fun. Too bad that Lumiere knocks him off the center stage at the end haha. But yeah, their constant banter is amusing but they are clealry friends, especially in the fight where Cogsworth saves Lumiere. They’re both also performed wonderfully by their VA’s, Jerry Orbach and David Odgen Stiers, the latter of whom would appear in several more Disney films, including one for this series that we’ll get to fairly soon.

Mrs. Potts is a teapot and her son Chip is a tea cup. I guess that Chip ended up that way to match his mother, which her being a teapot matches her mothelry persona. She’s very kind and consoling towards Belle and seems the most understanding about The Beast and why he acts ike he does. Which since I think that she was essentially the house caretaker, makes sense since she’d have likely been the one looking out for him. Plus she herself is a mother, and since Beast has the emotion coping skills of a child, she’d know how to deal with it. Chip is the token child character, though not a bad one. He’s a nice kid with a huge curiosity. It’s really cute how hen allt he adults are seeing the bloomign romance between Belle and Beast, he’s uttelry confused like any kid would be haha! He takes a liking to Belle quickly, though more like he sees her as if she were an older sister than any kind fo crush or the like. He’s also smart, figuring out how to use Maurice’s inveniton to free Belle and Maurice quickly...and him wanitng to do it again got a good laugh out of me haha! Mrs. Potts is a nurturing mother and her with Chip is so sweet,e specially when they’re truly human again. Plus her advice of how things will turn out alright in the end is advice that I look back on sometimes. it’s really comforitng.

So... as I’ve mentioned in these reviews, a big issue is how underdeveloped that the prince has been. The first two were plot devices only. Phillip and Eric were better int hat they were active int he plot and Eric had some more perosnality and motivation than the other three did. But it just didn’t feel like the male elads were... quite at their full potential yet. They generally didn’t recieve any character development and were mainly there for the sake of being a lov einterest to the heroine. That all changed in this film with our hero, The Beast.

Beast is one of the most well-developed male leads in a Disney Princess film. A few like Aladdin, Naveen, and Eugene rival him for overall best (though tbf the former IS the lead of his movie so that may not count) but Beast helped make the princes more equal to their princess without overshadowing her. Beast is the co-protagonist to Belle and the character that recieves the bulk of the character development. The opening tells us all that we need to know: Beast was once Prince Adam, a spoiled brat. When he turned away an elderly begger, it turned out that she was an Enchantress and she cursed him into his monsturous form. Since he looks like a monster, he subsequently acts like a monster... or more accurately, like the child that he never truly grew out of emotionally. He’s angry, lashes out constantly, and roars at the top of his lungs when at his limit. Like how a child screams and throws a tantrum when things don’t go their way because they lack the social and emotional coping skills to handle their feelings properly. Becoming a beast left Beast isolated and ashamed to face reality, and thus he didn’t learnt he proper coping skills. He accepted that he would forever be a monster, and succumb to acting like one.

That is, until the day that Belle arrived. When she offers herself to free her father, it’s the opportunity that Beast never beleived that he would get. If he can win her love before the rose petals all fall, he’ll be human again. He’ll be free. While he begins still acitng agressive and even bordeirng on emotionally abusive, e isn’t heartless. When Belle is crying about not getting to say goodbye to her father, Beast seems to legit feel bad for hurting her. It doens’t change his behavior, but it’s still a small moment that shows some humanization. It’s important to add moments like this and his despair when using the mirror to hear Belle talk about him. She’s justified in disliking him at that point, but it’s his reactions that matter. It shows his insecurity, his fear, his utter despair that he’ll be cursed for the rest of eternity. He’s already succumbed to acting the part of a monster and is already struggling to act more polite. As amusing as the scene of him yelling at Belle through the door is, it demonstrates just how hard this is for him but if he can’t improve his behavior, then he has no chance. He knows it, and views it as hopeless. It helps humanize The Beast, showing that despite his appearance there IS a human soul in there somewhere. Someone who on some level does want to be better, but he doesn’t know how. If not for these moments, Beast would have been utterly unsympathetic, but they pulled it off.

The turning point comes after Beast rescues Belle from the wolves. Remember, he’d already pretty much given up on winning Belle over and being human again and the confrontation on the third floor certainly didn’t help matters. He could have just let Belle to her own devices... but instead he went to save her. I sincerely do not believe it was because she was a prisoner or because he needed her. He had given up. He had succumbed. But he did it anyways, showing that he isn’t a bad person. It’s something that Belle sees and she gets him back to the castle to treat him. She called him out on his temper, but is sincerely grateful and Beast is stunned by this genuine act of kindness. She didn’t fear him. She wasn’t disgusted by him. She didn’t even leave him to die despite having pretty good reason to leave him and go. Belle still chose to save his life as he did her’s, showing Beast probably the first true act of love that he ever experienced in his life. We know nothing of his family and while I’m sure that staff members like Ms. Potts certainly cared for him, clearly they didn’t do much to quell his spoiled behavior. Belle was kind because she’s a kind person, and Beast finds that he wants to be kind to her in return.

From that point, we see Beast in a new light. He calms down significantly. He’s happier. He carries himself less like a wild animal and more like a person. He’s outright excited when he prepares the library to surprise Belle with. He’s still awkward as shown with his table manners and interacting with birds durign Something There, but he is trying. He’s trying for Belle. He activly enjoys her company. He sees how beautiful she is physically, but that’s not why he likes her. She’s kind, intelligent, independant, and she makes him feel in a way that he never has. He still feels that she can’t love him because of what he is, but the change that she has caused is so evident. He’s fallen in love and the ballroom scene only strengthens that with himt he happiest that he’s been all film. But the crowner that truly demonstrates htis? When Belle expresses missing her father, he lets her use the mirror. Not only does he seem legit concerned when they see Maurice freezing to death but when he sees Belle’s clear distress, he decides to let her go. He’s sad when he does so, knowing that she may very well never return. But Belle’s father needs her. he can’t force her to say and be miserable. He loves her so much that he decided to let her go. But it does mean that he gav up his final chance at being human after feeling more human than he had in ten years, and he is left in despair.

His despair is so strong that when Gaston and the mob arrives, he doesn’t even try to fight back. He just waits and is prepared to let whatever happens to him happen. Fortunately Belle coming back restores his will to live and he fights back. When Gaston grovels for his life, what does Beast do? He grants it, simply growling at him to leave. It is that moment hat shows how much of a better person that Beast is compared to Gaston. He was an angry man bordering on abusive, but he changed. He met someone who wasn’t willing to take his behavior, but was also willing to see the good that was in him. He changed for her, and it made him a kinder, more selfless person. The only thing that remains is his self-loathing, even saying that maybe him dying is for the best after Gaston has stabbed him. Fortunately Belle confesses her love, and it not only saves his life, but breaks the curse just in time. Beast is restored to Adam, having earned the right to having his humanity back. It was a lovely way to cap off his development, and allowed him to earn his happily ever after.

Beast was very much Belle’s equal. Even nowadays they’re both promoted and marketed pretty equally. One’s story would have been incomplete without the other. They gave each other what they each wanted and needed. I’ll go into specifics for Belle when I get to her below, but in the Beast’s case he needed someone kind, but also independent. Someone who wouldn’t tolerate his behavior and push him to change himself, but still kind-hearted enough to see that there is something there and be willing to help. Belle treated him in a way that no one else had. She was defiant, but also caring. She pushed him to rediscover his humanity. She got him to want to be kind. She got him to want to be a better person, and he not only treated her better but he was kinder to his staff as well. He finally grew up from the spoiled brat that he was before. He had found a reason to, and his love was so genuine that he let Belle go to be with her father again. It’s a beautiful story of growth and did enough to make Beast’s issues clear and not excusable, but sympathetic enough that we wanted him to be better and feel happy when he does so. He’s the best developed male lead in a Disney Princess film up to this point and helped pave the way for equally well done male leads. Ones not there just to fill out a plot beat and be the princesses’ reward, but to stand at her side as her equal.

Boy did THAT one get long. there’s other minor characters. Le Fou, The Bimbettes, the psyche ward keeper voiced by the late, great Tony Jay, various other castle characters, etc. all of them are entertaining, I just don’t have much to say about them. So then... we have one more to go.

Belle Analysis

https://youtu.be/M4ne1A1aNrI

Belle is one of the most praised and beloved Disney Princesses of all time. She is smart, playful, independent, and kind-hearted. I feel like she gets overly praised at times, mainly because some like to use her to bash her four predecessors since she didn’t have the goal of falling in love. I won’t repeat what I said about the four, you can read the reviews, but it’s a VERY unfair argument not just to them, but to Belle as well. She’s used as a tool to bash other female characters instead of being loved for herself. Then agains he also gets bashed for the Stolkholm Syndrome argument, which we’ll get to that aspect here soon. But for now, let’s just discuss Belle piece by piece and see where the path leads us.

Belle’s intro establishes everything right off the bat. So much so that the intro sing is literally titled Belle. She’s bookish and cheerful, but it’s clear from her interactions witht he villagers and their own gossip that she’s seen as weird. The only people who seem to like her as she is is the bookshop owner and her own father. The women are jealous of her beauty, the men only see her for her beauty, and both sides are confused at her lack of conformity. Belle lives in a town that clearly has very old-fashioned views regarding gender roles. The men work, the women get married and have babies. They all seem content with this... except for Belle. She enjoys books and adventure, musing about wanting more than the provincial life that she has. She strolls through the village with her nose stuck in a book, but has no trouble navigating at all depsite the distraction. Books provide her a source of adventure and thrill that her limited life does not. She breaks those old-fashioned norms and he village is uttelry baffled at to how she can be this way. But what truly makes her a bafflement to everyone? Her utter rejection of Gaston. While just about every other women swoons at his feet, Belle couldn’t be less impressed if she tried. She’s familiar with how he is and if she had’t recieved his advances before their first scene, she’s probably seen it enough times to know that she doesn’t like him. Him dismisisng her passion for books and insulting her father did him no favors.

On the surface, Belle does’t seem bothered by these things. But when home, she does express some hurt about ti to her father, the one perosn who loves her for her unconditionally. She knows that she doesn’t fit in. She knows that she’s not happy with her life. She wants someone to understand her besides her father. She wants more to life where she can be herself. She wants to find love on her own terms and not have to deal with the advances of men like Gaston. None of this stops her form being able to handle herself, as demonstrated when Gaston goes to her house to force a proposal. She handles kicking him out with utter grace and her “I don’t deserve you” line is icing on the cake. But none of that changes how she feels. If anything, it enforces it. The village is all on Gaston’s side and at that point, her father has left for the science fair. He won’t be there forever, hence why she wants to find someone who will love her for her. To control her own destiny. To those who feel forced into their gender roles or being forced into a relationship that they don’t want whether by an agressive person or by peer pressure, Belle’s struggle is very relatable. Her independant spirit is also admirable as while she is dismayed with where she’s at, she still is able to smile and live her life as she wants. She’ defiant. She makes do with what she has and is able to handle what’s thrown at her with pure wit and ingenuity. Gaston nor anyone else can bring her down... at least, not until her wish for adventure ends up unexpectedly granted.

Before we progress forward, let’s pause to discuss Belle’s VA, Paige O’Hara. When Beauty and the Beast was beginning casting, O’Hara was already a rising Broadway actress and Disney happened to be seeking Broadway talent specifically. After several call-backs, she finally earned the part. She’s credited Howard Ashman as a huge help in guiding her to finding her voice as Belle, and she performs the role beautifully. She captures Belle’s independence yet playfulness very well, as well as her defiance and heartbreak in certain scenes. And her singing? Beautiful. Maybe not on par with Jodi Benson, but you can tell why she was a rising Broadway star. Today, O’Hara works mainly as a painter with Belle very much being one of her main muses. Sadly due to how much her voice has aged, she rarely plays Belle herself anymore, the role nowadays being primarialy done by VA Julie Nathanson. While she also does a lovely job at the part, O’Hara will always be the first to bring the character to life. Fortunteley she still shows a lot of love for the role and has attended multiple events and even got to reprise Belle at least one more time during Ralph Breaks the Internet. She had reprised Belle multiple times between various DTV films, TV appearances, and other events. So even if she is limited nowadays, her large body of work will live on forever.

Back to the film, Belle discovers that her father is in danger and ends up at the castle. We all know what happens at this point. Belle offers to take her dad’s place, Beast agrees, and Maurice is kicked out before Belle can so much as say goodbye. She’s distraught at this, and who can blame her? In a matter of hours, her life as she knew it was ripped away from her. Now instead of her old provincial life, she’s a prisoner in an enchanted castle ruled by an angry beast. Even when given the nicer room, she doesn’t feel that much better. She’s never going to get to see her father again or even know if he’s safely back home. She has no reason to believe that a rescue is coming. Some may say that she should try and get out, but isn’t she allowed this? To be upset and at a loss of what to do? It’s not like she just cries the whole time, she calms down enough to refuse to go to dinner despite the others insisting that she does. Even when Beast yells at her to do so, she refuses. She may be a prisoner, but she’s not going to play the victim. She’s going to be as she normally is; however she wants to be.

Soon, Belle’s able to calm down enough that she decides to go explore the castle. She is ultimateley a curious, adventurous spirit. Regardless of the circumstances, she can’t help but want to learn more about this new, strange place and these new figures that she’s encountered. You can tellt hat she’s warming up reatly during Be Our Guest where despite not actually getitng to eat anything, she is just havng far too much fun to care. It gets her spirits back up and now she can’t resist exploring more. Even if it risks The Beast’s wrath, one her curiosity has peaked, she can’t resist it. It’s a great strength, but also probably her biggest flaw. Despite having been told not to and knowing by now how Beast will react, she slips away from Cogsworth and Lumiere to go explore the West Wing. This ends with her seeing the trashed area, finding the Enchanted Rose, and getting yelled at by an enraged Beast. That is the last push needed to make Belle decide to escape.

So now that we’re at this point, we have to talk about one of the big topics that comes up when discussing this film: Stockholm Syndrome. To put it simply, Stockholm Syndrome is when the victim becomes emotionally attached to their aggressor and doesn’t want to leave them and tries to justify their actions. So when the vicitm is rescued, they may react negativly or even aggressively towards the rescuers in favor of the agressor. it’s a psychological response. This is actually a case where I was able to go to a professional to ask about it,: my own mother. My mom is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and currently works as a therapist. I’m fairly sure that she’s never treated anyone with Stockholm, but it is something that she knows of. I did ask her about if the film did glorify Stockholm Syndrome as some accuse it of. The gist of what she told me is... well, there’s enough in-film that either side can use it to prove their case. After all she DOES develop positive feelings towards Beast while a prisoner, so one can take the context and use it as an example, and same for the side who don’t agree. Ultimately Belle is a ficitonal character. We can’t sit her down and give her a psychoanalysis because she’s not real, and most of us doing these analysis’ aren’t therapists, psyologists, or mental health experts anyways. I’ll leave some sources below if you’d like further reading on the topic, but doing research isn’t the same as being a professional trained to go over these kinds of things. My mom said at most, Beast can be viewed as emotionally abusive, though it is because of his own trauma and he did ultimately improve to be a better person.

I fully agree that yes, if someone wants to make the arguent that the film promotes Stockholm Syndrome, they can. It’s their opinion, this came out in a diferent time than now where we take things like emotional abuse in cinema far more seriously, and in the end it’s a piece of fiction and people are free to view it however they wish. But the same also applies to me and in my opinion, no. Belle does NOT suffer from Stockholm Syndrome nor does the film glorify it. Now I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. This is strictly my opinion going off my understanding of it. I may be wrong and if that’s the case, I apologize. But from what I know and understand, the case in the film is not a straight forward situation like the various case studies in the real world. Plus I think we see enough of Belle being defiant and not feeling positivly towards Beast to see that she certainly hasn’t developed any psychological attachment towards him to cope with her situation. We’ll be seeing her feelings towards him change, but I’ll explain why I don’t feel that it counts down below. But again, I’m not an expert. This is just my understanding of it.

So... why the long tangent there? Well we’re now at the wolf attack scene. The turning point in the relationship. Belle’s effort to escape ends with her cornered by a pack of vicious wolves. Fortunateley, The Beast rescues her and drives the wolves away... but he is inured in the process and passes out. As I said in Beast’s character breakdown, he didn’t have to do it at that point since he’d given up, but he did so anyways. It showed that he isn’t a bad person. Something that Belle also saw. The Beast had been aggressive and rude to her throughout, and she had every good reason to continue on her way now that the path was clear. But Belle didn’t. She got Beast onto her horse and took him back to the castle, the closest shelter, to treat his wounds. Is this because she feels compelled to do so after forming a psychological dependency or attachment to him? No. We see as she treats his wounds that she still isn’t going to tolerate his temper and rudeness towards her. She stands up for herself and talks back at him until he calms down. She very much retains her independence. So then... why did she save him? Because Belle is a good-hearted person who just saw this seemingly hateful beast save her life when he didn’t have to. She isn’t the kind of person to leave an injured person to die. She did it out of kindness and gratitude as we see when she genuinely thanks Beast for saving her life. She’s seen a new side to him now, and it’s made her reconsider her earlier stance. Thus Belle remains at the castle.

The characteristics of Stockholm Syndrome include positive feelings towards the captor and belief of goodness in the captor, no real effort in escaping, learned helplessness, and feelings of pity to the captor. You can read the list and learn more here, and the link will also be with the sources. So you’re probably looking at that and going ‘...uuuggghhhh’ at the movie right now. Which fair enough. However let’s also look at where we are now. This is the part of the film where Beast makes an honest effort to improve himself. He’s nicer, trying to be more polite, and treats Belle as a person. She’s really not a prisoner anymore at this point and while mybe theposisbility of being human again is motivating Beast, for the most part I think it’s because he genuinely grows to like Belle. As for Belle, I think that she likes the castle. It’s enchanted and full of intrigue and mystery, just like in her books. It’s the escape form that provincial life in the village that she’s been longing for. It’s a temptation that she just can’t resist. The staff all like her and treat her kindly and no one tries to force her to be something that she isn’t. Beast especially loves Belle’s love of books, even giving her the huge library to repay her earlier kindness. Belle is able to be who she is and be around those who are accepting of her. Even fi for the staff it’s for ulterior motives, IDT that they’re faking liking having her around and Beast certainly isn’t. This isn’t really a straight-forward captive or abuse situaiton that Stockholm Syndrome would apply to in my opinion, especially since Belle never once succumbs to the Beast’s terms. She only respects and acts friendly with him when he does so towards her, and they are both clearly benefiting positivly from it. We know that Beast has no malicious intenitons regarding Belle and it’s Lumiere and co. insisting on the relaitonship happening moreso, and that’s because they want their humanity back so it adds a bit of complexity. It’s just not a straight forward case where we can easily apply Stockholm Syndrome to and get an accurate reading, at least in my opinion. She certainly is FAR from helpless.

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So then let’s discuss Belle’s feelings for The Beast. We know how much Belle’s influence changed The Beast. But what about Belle? She really doens’t change during the movie, nor did she realy need to. She’s already confident about herself, likes herself, and she knows what she wants with her life. Sure her curiosity can get her into trouble, but otherwise she didn’t realy need a character arc like Beast did. What Belle needed was acceptance. To find someone who would like her for who she is and not see her as weird for it. Beast doesn’t at all view her that way. He enjoys being around her because she’s smart and independant and even gets her to read to him. It’s that kind of acceptance that Belle hasn’t recieved from anyone outside her father. The more that she sees Beast try to be better, the more that she sees how sweet and endeairng that he really is and she’s more than happy to help him. I think that seeing this kinder side bloom and that acceptance and even enjoyment of her is what makes Belle fall in love with him. It’s what helps make the ballroom scene so magical. Two people considered outsiders coming together and dancing the night way happily together. It’s beautiful, magical, and the perfect culminaiton in everything prior. They brought out the best in each other. Made each other happier in a way that no one else had ever done. They’re better now because of the other, and it’s just lovely to see.

But of course, we know what comes next. While happy with Beast and being at the castle, Belle still misses her father. When she sees him in the snow and horirbly sick, she’s distressed. Seing this, Beast allows he to go. Honestly I think that Belle could have left whenever she wanted at that point and Beast wouldn’thave fought it, but she was staying willingly at that point because she was happy. But her father needed her now. If she truly had Stockholm Syndorme, I don’t think that she would have done so. But she doesn’t really give it any kind of thought here. While sad to leave The Beast, she has alreayd mad eup her mind when told that she could go. She leaves to save her father, The Beast giving her the mirror and unbeknownst to her Chip tagging along. Belle fortunateley gets Maurice home safely... and just in time for Gaston to initiate his plan to have Maurice locked away. Belle is of course shocked and outraged and in a panic, uses the mirror to confirm The Beast’s existence. Despite her insistence that he isn’t a bad person, it’s too late. Gaston realizes that she’s in love with the ‘monster’ and we get the iconic line: “He’s no monster Gaston, you are.” Beast treated her like a person and improved himself from his more toxic behavior. Gaston treated her like the prey that he seeks during his hunts, refusing to let up until he’s won. Beast had even kept his word about letting Maurcie go and returned him to the village safely, and of course let Belle go to help him and even seemed to feel guilty for what he had done previously. Gaston though? He shows no guilt over trying to use Maurice to blackmail Belle. He continues his horrible behavior not only by forming the mob, but locking Belle and Maurice in their own cellar for simply speaking against it. Belle didn’t call Gaston a monster because she’s been conditioned or due to a coping reflex. It’s because Gaston is a genuinely despicable person while Beast grew to become a good person. She saw this and stood her ground as she always has, but this time at the point where she won’t tolerate it anymore. Which if it was your parent being shipped off to the insane asylum by some jerk just because they want to marry you, woudln’t you call them a monster in comparison?

So we reach the climax. Belle and Maurice arrive after Chip frees them with Belle rushing to get to Beast. She makes it and seeing her reignites Beast’s will to live... but he’s stabbed by Gaston. Belle saves Beast from falling over the roof, but there’s nothing that she can do to stop him from dying. She’s devestated, blaming herself for it. Beast’s final words to her are that at least he got to see Belle one last time, and if she hadn’t figured it out before, I think that this was when Belle realized that Beast loved her... and that she loved him. We knew that Beast certianly loved her but we needed it confirmed from Belle as the curse was still intact. As Beast lay motionless, Belle cries and at last confesses that yes, she does love him... just as the last rose petal falls. With that confession, the curse breaks and Beast is ressurected/becomes human again. Belle is shocked as she sees not The Beast standing before her, but Prince Adam. You can tell how confused she is. is this reallyt he same person that she loved? Adam confirms it and Belle looks into his eyes... and that’s all it takes for her to finally smile. yes, it is the same man that she had fallen in love with. They kiss,a nd the curse is truly broken. Everyone becomes human again,t he castle is restored to it’s original state, and Belle and Adam dance happily, free to live happily ever after.

Belle is a role model character. She’s there for girls to look up to, and I think that the amount of fans that she has proves that she succeeded. She encourages girls to be themselves. To be independant and not bend to social norms or pressure. To find love for themselves and not succumb tot he pressure of unwanted admirers or the pressure to marry them. Something that happens far too much in reality. She doesn’t change, but there was no reason for her to. As I said, Belle’s not one of my favorites. Not because I dislike her by any means. if anythign I like her much more now as an adult now that I have a stronger understanding of the film. I just have princesses that I like more, and that’s really it. I also don’t like how some insist that she’s the best Dsney Princess compared to her predecessors because as I hope I made clear in those reviews, the previous four pricnesses are NOT badly done. If anything, I think it’s more anti-femenist to use a woman to bash other women without just cause. Saying that belle is better because she didn’t fall in love witht he guy at first sight or didn’t sell her soul for a guy without caring to analyze those characters isn’t empowering, it’s saying that if you don’t act a certain way as a woman, you’re anti-feminist. Which is a terrible stance. No woman is the same and women shouldn’t be used against women in this kind of way. Regardless, that’s an issue with certain ‘critics’, not Belle herself. She’s a great character and someone that I can admire. Maybe not as much as others, but I can certainly see why she’s left such an impact on so many and not even just little girls. To many people of all kinds. Who could be upset about that?

Final Thoughts

Beauty and the Beast is a lovely film. Is it my favorite? No. I didn’t watch it all that much as a kid. As an adult I have a greater appreciation for it. It’s beautfully animated, it’s themes are well-protrayed and still relevant, the characters are memorable and fun, and it’s music is phenomenal. I can absoluteley see why this as the first animated film to ever be niminated for Best Picture. It’s a tragedy that it lost, but it still proved that animation very much had staying power as Walt proved all those years ago. And of course the film is the final testament of Howard Ashman. He may not have been part of the Disney Renaissance for long, but his contributions single-handedly changed the company and their films for the better. Even today this style of musical films is very much going strong even over 30 years since it began with The Little Mermaid. We lost Ashman far too soon, and who knows what amaizng things he could have one if he were still alive. We can never know the what ifs, but we can always appreciate what came during his lifetime. He, Kirk Wise, Gary Trousdale, Alan Menken, Don Hahn, various animators, and so many more did so much to bring this film to life, and it will forever stand as a true Disney Masterpiece.

The film was a giant success, and Disney wasn’t slowing down one bit. The very next year, another animated feature would come out. A film about a dashing street rat who found a magic lamp and unleashed a magical genie who would make all his dreams come true. But wait you may ask, isn’t this a Disney Princess retrospective? Yep. So why am I talking about a dashing hero? Well there is a princess in it, but she occupies a bit of a unique place in the line-up. She is the first and so far only Princess to not be the main charater in her film. But she still left a huge impact and i included in the main lineup so we are NOT leaving her out. So next time, come along as we enter a whole new world to discuss 1992’s Aladdin, and in particular Princess Jasmine.

Image Source: Animation Screencaps

Further Reading on Stockholm Syndrome: Healthline, Medical News Today, GoodTherapy, WebMD,

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #481

Top Ten Pixar Villains

Those rascals and rapscallions at Pixar are famous for twisting our emotions, aren’t they? Perverse masters at making us cry with sadness or joy, often at the same time (I’m looking at you, Inside Out, with your yellow and blue marbles). Oh yes, they’ll stick the knife in and give it a good old yank, like John Travolta teaches his daughter to do in Face/Off when he’s not really John Travolta and it’s a bit icky but then she stabs him at the end of the film so it’s alright really.

Where was I?

Oh yeah. Pixar, renowned for turning grown men into blubbering messes, mostly because an adult character was convinced to part with old toys he no longer plays with. But I’d argue that one thing they’ve done less well than their parent studio (that’s Disney) is crafting iconic baddies. I mean, we all know the Disney Villains; they’re so iconic and successful as pop culture icons that there’s an entire trilogy of movies based on what would happen if a bunch of them had kids (apparently they’d sing a lot). Pixar baddies though? Hmmm, maybe not quite so iconic. I can’t see someone making a live action prequel movie about Chef Skinner.

But that’s not to say they’re not great; in fact, rather than going down the route of snarling, moustache-twirling villainy, Pixar actually does a great job in creating antagonists instead. Sometimes they’re misunderstood; sometimes they’re not the person you thought they were! Quite often some kind of redemption is offered, and the villains are very, very rarely dropped off something tall. A lot of them aren’t even defeated, so to speak! A good deal of nuance and shade goes into a Pixar villain, and if they haven’t made as many all-time-great iconic ne’er-do-wells, it does seem as if their approach is starting to rub off on Disney mothership (the likes of Frozen II and Moana either don’t have, or at least subvert, the notion of all-powerful bad guys).

So what do we have? Well, hopefully, we’ve got a list of really cool villains from Pixar movies. most of them are presented as the film’s “big bad”, although there are a couple of lesser baddies. And I think we do see the pattern emerging, of more mundane levels of villainy; the selfish and greedy and damaged. It makes for great characterisation and some beautiful storytelling; some complex and pitiable characters. And, yes, a few absolute bastards too. Let’s tut disapprovingly.

Lots-o’-Huggin’ Bear (Ned Beatty, Toy Story 3, 2010): a superb performance from Beatty as a seemingly nice, jovial old bear who’s really a manipulative, power-hungry, gaslighting bully. Realistically portrayed as damaged and bitter, he has a tragic backstory that feels real, and a sense of pain and loss that feels earned in this universe. Questions the nature of everything the movies are about, and is a genuine threat in more ways than one. Plus he literally leaves them all to die in the furnace!

Syndrome (Jason Lee, The Incredibles, 2004): Buddy Pine’s backstory is one of belittlement and rejection, so his switch to villainy is as well explored as many a comic book bad guy. But he’s interesting partly in what his character says about Mr. Incredible – in a way justifying the criticisms of superheroes, as Mr. I does ignore the admittedly-annoying Buddy rather than mentoring or respecting him – but also because he prefigures notions of toxic masculinity about a decade or so before they became, well, a threat to global democracy.

Al (Wayne Knight, Toy Story 2, 1999): Like how Lots-o can be seen as a dark examination of toy life (all toys are replaceable, kids don’t really love you, etc), Al also shows us another dark facet of toy-dom: namely the life of a “collectable”. Toys, in this world, want to be played with, preferably by children, so a big ol’ man-child who stores them in boxes or puts them on display is not ideal. It’s an inversion of what a toy is for; an object of joy reduced to a commodity. Is it entertainment versus art? Who can say? Also, he’s really just a massive jerk and a huge slob, so we feel no pity for him once he gets his comeuppance at the end of the film.

Sid Phillips (Erik von Detten, Toy Story, 1995): man, they nailed the Toy Story villains, didn’t they? Maybe there’s even more to come! But right out of the gate, Sid was a classic. An utter sadist in a skull t-shirt, torturing toys for kicks; adults can see the traits of a genuine sociopath (some serial killers start by torturing animals, remember!), and he’s portrayed like a character in a horror movie. Seriously, in 1995, Sid’s room was legitimately disturbing. I’m not sure what moral lessons his actions teach us, but just as a pure article of terror, he’s supreme.

Hopper (Kevin Spacey, A Bug’s Life, 1998): it feels a bit weird, if I’m honest, to celebrate a Spacey performance. But as a character, Hopper is excellent, one of the best things about the generally-overlooked-but-still-a-bit-lesser-Pixar Bug’s Life. Riffing on biker gangs, Hopper’s locust swarm in, revving their wings. Hopper’s a classic tough guy thug, dominating through violence and threat; a creature with a small amount of power determined to hold onto it, and ultimately eaten by a terrifying bird. Just don’t look at the cast list.

Ernesto de la Cruz (Benjamin Bratt, Coco, 2017): after the horror of Sid and the thuggery of Hopper, de la Cruz is a different, more insidious villain. He’s a thief and a betrayer who exploited and murdered his best friend, condemning him not just to death but to a forgotten obsolescence in the afterlife. He’s a perfect example of the gaslighting, friendly-seeming bad guy, more in the mould of Lots-o, but with the world on his side and a sweet guitar. Genuinely hissable.

Stinky Pete (Kelsey Grammar, Toy Story 2, 1999): what, more Toy Story? Well, yeah. Don’t blame me, blame Pixar. And so Stinky Pete; a far more relatable and understandable villain, one driven to desperation through a lifetime of rejection and broken promises. Unlike the Machiavellian, power-hungry Lots-o, Pete just wants everyone to retire quietly together; he can’t accept the risks of freedom and only becomes sneaky and, indeed, violent after all else fails. But he does kinda get a happy ending, even if he doesn’t realise it; this is a villain who I feel could eventually be redeemed.

Randall Boggs (Steve Buscemi, Monsters, Inc., 2001): Waternoose is the real baddy in Monsters, Inc., of course; a conniving capitalist who’s prepared to sacrifice the world’s children to keep his monopoly. But it’s Randy who sticks in the mind; his selfish, vain lackey, a monster with a huge chip on his shoulder. His design – lizard-like, snake-ish, with a huge mouth and invisibility – is seriously disturbing. Hearing Buscemi’s voice come from that form – an aggravated teacher, a furious accountant – adds something special, something darkly hilarious.

Evelyn Deavor (Catherine Keener, Incredibles 2, 2018): visually and conceptually, The Screenslaver (great name) is pretty cool, but when it’s revealed that the Big Bad is really under-appreciated tech genius Evelyn, that’s a great twist. A smart woman propping up her schmoozing brother, her criticisms of the heroes – like Buddy Pine’s – have resonance, although she’s learning the wrong lessons from tragedy. Her relationship with Elastigirl, from friendship to enmity, is very well-written and performed, and her belligerence at the end is a nice touch, denying the heroes of any catharsis from her capture.

Shelby Forthright (Fred Willard, WALL-E, 2008): I was originally going to feature the autopilot, but then I figured, if you can get Fred Willard in your list… and really, who’s the big villain here? It’s us, right? We killed the Earth. But Willard’s smiling, happy CEO is there, encouraging his customers to buy, promising them safety and security, promising them a repaired world… but really he’s shovelling them off the planet, secretly commanding the computer to take humanity far away and never look back. It’s a devious, horrible plan, giving the people unending luxury, making them want for nothing, turning them into fab, soporific blobs, basically because that’s easier than the alternative. It’s a horrible indictment of humanity (also: he’s the CEO of a company, but also – it looks like – that makes him rule the world? Creepy). So, yeah, the autopilot might be a baddun, but it’s the man in charge who’s the real villain of the piece, even hundreds of years later.

Sadly no room for John Lasseter, who may not have tried to enslave humanity or torture children, but still managed to be a huge jerk and a phenomenal disappointment.

[greentrickster]

For Larry, representing Mind means letting his creativity flourish and learning to recognize his internal bias, which includes both his views of girls and women AND what it means to be strong for him. So maybe it's also about how stiffling unfair social expectations can be and other people putting you into a box? Like internalized fear of doing things deemed feminine or girly? Which could fit with why Larry uses his brush brute-force mostly at first.

Something like that, yes! The mind powers for him definitely revolve around accepting his creativity, and also, very key, around accepting that not being smart doesn’t make him less valuable, or an idiot. Our society is wildly built around the concepts that intelligence is key and that not being intelligent is Bad, that characters and people have to be smart, if it’s not overt, they’re just ‘smart/intelligent in a different way.’  You’re not allowed to be dumb, even if you’re the best, nicest person on earth in every other way, you can’t be dumb. I don’t see people talk about this much, but I’ve thought about it a lot. There’s a few other more pressing problems we need to deal with before this starts becoming more addressed, though.

Anyway, the brush thing is almost certainly his inadvertent reaction to all this. He’s not smart, but he is pretty tough, so play to his strengths, you know? It’s a matter of being told he’s not good at something so many times that he never thought to try. Then learning that being kinda dumb doesn’t stop you from being clever or wildly creative, and figuring out that him being the mind aspect of the trio wasn’t a mistake at all, he’s just using it differently than another person might. Then he starts bringing his other powers into play more often, and gets really good with using his buffs effectively.

And still hits enemies with his giant paintbrush a lot, because it’s fun and he likes it.

In regards to his toxic masculinity being dealt with, that doesn’t actually effect his powers at all - it’s actually a happy accident! And it all starts with Larry seeing his reflection pretty soon after transforming for the first time and thinking to himself, “Oh my gosh, I look cute as heck! <3″ And then having his brain catch up with his thoughts, the societal expectations that are still prominent in 2000/1, which is when this is approximately set, catching up next, and a very tiny, “Oh no.”

Because one thing kids are super good at picking up on is what’s safe to do socially and what isn’t. Being part of the crowd just as a safety thing is pretty huge for most people right through high school, most kids don’t even really think of doing anything else in third grade. So we’ve got a kid here who knows that the reaction he just had is something that could get him ostracized by his peers, even today in 2020 guys tend to get serious flack for wearing skirts and dresses, and good luck convincing anyone you’re straight if you like to do so. We talk about the LGBTQ+ community’s struggles a lot, which is fair and important, because those issues need some serious work to get fixed, but there’s some pretty nasty social expectation cis straight men and women have to deal with, too, in regards to how they have to behave and dress if they don’t want their gender and sexual orientation to be constantly called into question.

And this is 2000/1. Kids still commonly used ‘gay’ and ‘r*t*rded’ as casual insults back then, just casually in public. You can bet solid money that this is not an environment Larry feels safe to be fully himself in, or even necessarily able to notice he’s not being fully himself in until this happens, because he does genuinely like a lot of classically masculine stuff and he’s nine, he might not have noticed.

So he does the only thing he really knows how to do - double down on what he knows is ‘safe’ and sadly increase the toxic masculinity for awhile. Enough that Phoenix and Miles notice something’s up, because Larry’s always been flirty around girls and trying to show off how tough he is, but up until now it’s been more along the lines of ‘doing this because this is just how everyone around me is behaving.’ They’re nine, and nine-year-olds are generally just mimicking adults and older kids when they do ‘romance’ in a play/practice sort of manner. But now he’s really throwing himself into it, and really complaining about how much he hates the costumes they have to wear, and so on and so forth.

It peaks about a third of the way into their story, not because he’s confronted about it (because Larry’s good at deflecting and distractions), but because while they’re fighting/tracking an enemy they run into someone else being picked on for the same reasons Larry’s scared of people picking on him for. And Larry has the choice of standing up for them or ignoring it. And he wants to ignore it, he’s so, so aware that standing up for someone else like this can switch the bully’s ire to you instead. Except he’s not just Larry anymore, he’s Yellow Brush, and he’s supposed to be being a hero, and ignoring situations like this isn’t what heroes do. So he stands up for the other kid, and part of it involves him saying, “So what? I’m a boy and I’m wearing a dress and I like it! And you can’t say I’m not tough, because I beat up monsters, so there!” And then the instant the situation is over Larry runs off and has a meltdown, because he just blurted out one of his deepest secrets in public and, in true nine-year-old fashion, is now 100% certain his friends hate him and will never want to talk to him again.

Then we get a bonding and reassuring on a riverbank scene, or on a beach if there aren’t any rivers nearby, I dunno, I don’t live in California, and Larry apologizes a lot and Miles and Phoenix tell him that they don’t care, he’s still their friend, and Larry starts slowly improving and escaping that toxic masculinity trap he’s been stuck in for so long.

Side effect of this, girls actually start finding him more tolerable as a result, and Larry is happy but has no idea what to do with this, and finally decides that he should probably wait until he’s way older to figure out girls better, “Like, you know, when I’m twelve. I’ll probably have it really together by then.”

“Well, twelve is practically a teenager, so that sounds about right.”

(One of the fun things about writing kids is that beautiful, sadly incorrect view they have of how quickly one accrues maturity and the ability to be a fully-functional member of society.)

So basically, yes, the issues you mentioned are very much addressed in Larry’s arc, just for slightly different reasons than suggested. ;)

Thanks for the ask!

[flowerflamestars]

10, 17, 23?

These are so fun, thank you!

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

This is controversial, so disclaimer: I like Morrigan. I am extremely happy to have queer lady rep on a personal level.

But all rep is not automatically good rep, and in this case, I think the real problem is bad writing. 

It is extremely clear in acomaf that sjm had one dynamic planned...and in between books canned it for another, but kept pieces...which further makes EVEN LESS SENSE. Feyre is super interested in how close Mor/Cas/Az are- she doesn’t really get what’s happening, but the focus on closeness is repeated, again and again and again. I’m going to come back to this, but basically, in no version is their history not Complex and not Something Feyre is Probably Getting Wrong for Assuming Straightness.

And then we have queer (and I’m using queer because the books don’t make it clear what her sexuality is- maybe she’s a lesbian. maybe she’s bi but only romantically attracted to women, we don’t know) Morrigan. And it takes what acomaf set up and makes it so much worse?

We go from Morrigan who forged a path and chose a family (a very queer trope, hey I wonder, that whole found family cannot also be straight???) to Morrigan, trapped between her two best friends by several entangled, terrible things. Azriel, who now scares her? Cassian, who she slept with at a cost that was ultimately MegaTrauma for both of them, and literal torture for her. Morrigan who maybe slept with someone she wasn’t even attracted to just for autonomy as a teen....and then definitely slept with Helion when she did not want to..to set a boundary with Az??

Can you hear me screaming?

Okay- so how do we fix this? How do we make this less of a goddamn weird choice? First of all, let’s take out the homophobia at all. High Fae are immortal- they have partners that aren’t the same species, why on earth would gender matter?

Cool, Morrigan is queer, but Morrigan didn’t live in fear of her best friends for five centuries. 

But what do we do with the closeness, the rabid protectiveness? High fae don’t care who you bang, but you know who would, if we have to stay in canon’s shitty lil world? Illyrians, who safeguard their bloodlines in horrific ways already.

Azriel hates Illyria so much in the books- so much more than Cassian or Rhysand. Why might that be? Why won’t he go back- hey, maybe Azriel is gay.

Feyre’s Straight Vision, and also the viewpoint of a twentyish woman whose never gotten to see..anything: is that, LOVE? since you a man are looking at Morrigan who is wearing a wild cool dress

Az, watching to make sure no one is bothering Morrigan in the crowd: Solidarity (maybe based on horrific trauma or something)

Let’s compound further. Canon does it for us- Rhysand tells Feyre that Cassian slept with Morrigan as a dumb teen because he was jealous of all the time she was spending with Az. Not- he was jealous over Morrigan, he was jealous of Morrigan. 

Bisexual Cassian babes- still figuring it out, but jealous about his hot best friend. And then, hello, terrible plot, totally traumatized by his first sexy exploits with a lady. 

This closes the final loop: if Morrigan doesn’t want Az or Cassian, why is she so aggressive with Nesta? Because, after all they’ve been through, they’re all obsessed with protecting each other. I do think a happier, freer Mor would be a lot less terrible about Nesta, but a little shovel-talk bullshit would remain.

Because they all found each other and chose each other and protect each other, because they know being who they are isn’t always safe. Queer solidarity. Not to mention that Nesta is the first woman it’s been clear Cassian is going to absolutely fall for! No one wants him to get hurt again.

In sum: canon queer Mor bad, the possibility that didn’t happen of queer IC good?

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

Okay, I totally went this way for the first question, but I have a different answer!

Instead of the solstice party being the lowest point for Nesta, I would have made it the breaking point for Cassian.

He notices there’s no gift for her in the pile. Assumes kind of tiredly/sadly/bitterly that she isn’t coming- but then watches her show up. Sees the way no one even says hello to her, the resigned, sad face she makes when Elain hands her that glass of wine she didn’t ask for. Further watches Elain uncharacteristically throw back a drink, just to have to deal with peacekeeping.

And Cassian just feels sick. She’s lost so much weight- still beautiful, still so heartbreakingly Nesta, but like she’s going to shatter at any moment. And Cassian whose grieving, who lost so many of his people and in the end couldn’t protect her- Cassian cannot stand to watch that.

He makes it easy for her. Jokingly steals the glass of wine with some aside and drinks it himself. Doesn’t leave her alone. Doesn’t even look up to watch the self-made spectacle of Morrigan unwrapping lingerie- he’s too busy very quietly handing Nesta her single present, from him. She pockets it, wrapped, but Cassian will swear there’s something there to her nod, a softening for just a second.

When Nesta leaves- the second she can, the moment it’s over, Cassian finds her coat, goes with her. His presence stops Feyre from chasing after her. They don’t even talk. He just keeps up with her angry storming across town, lets her rage with her entire body because it’s like all the light suddenly returned- she’s hurt.

Nesta is hurt and he can help. Nesta is alone, and how could she not be? She doesn’t fit in this Court, doesn’t belong playing nice when Rhys hates her, when Feyre is happiest ignoring her- when Cassian himself feels like he’s outside looking in from the icy peaks of Illyria, out of place with the world feysand want now.

Walks her to her door, safe. Doesn’t press to go in, doesn’t overstep. Just tells her good night, tells her, happy solstice Nesta. Returns the next morning with breakfast he won’t mention goes uneaten, the day after and day after, until she’s waiting when he arrives and stomps down to the actually good bakery down the street with him. 

Cassian never really leaves her alone again.

But first, behind six locks, under the light of the moon, Nesta will sit in her bed and look at the precisely wrapped beautiful gift Cassian, of everyone- her whole family, her whole world- thought to give her. She won’t open it until she’s ready, but Nesta will keep it.

Nesta will never forget. 

23. Unpopular character you love? No one talks about him, but I can only imagine Varian is very, very cool dude. I cannot fathom anything but the complete lack of toxic masculinity that would be needed to look at a monstrous celestial being of a lady and be like, yep, I’m Just A Hot Sailor whose Kind of a Prince but I’ll love her quietly forever anyway.

Cresseida! Like, what, we’re supposed to dislike her for responded to Rhysand’s shitty flirting because she’s lonely because ya know, Amarantha killed the people she loves? Come on. Gimme that difficult woman rep.

He’s from ToG instead, but I love Lorcan. He’s just...such a dweeb. An emo little himbo mess. He’s so massively dumb about all his feelings unless they relate directly to Elide while she’s standing in front of him and even then, is getting them right at about 60% capacity unless it’s life or death and then he abruptly Gets It. Is willing to become Lord Lorcan Lochan for the rest of his days. Ruthless mess. Love it.

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I don't think most of the people playing with/just starting to follow Sean know how much stuff he's done. I found him through a mix of Disguised Toast, Corpse, and Valkyrae streams. It wasn't before I found your blog that I realized he was problematic because I had just never followed him.

I haven't followed him for that long so finding your blog and reading about what he's done was a little shocking - until I rewatched some stuff and realized it's not just jokes, it's not just an isolated incident, he's not just playing to have fun, etc. - and I've been let down by celebrities and influencers before and I hadn't been that invested in following him so it wasn't that big if a deal to me, but the amount of younger people following him that don't even know what he did is concerning and I'm scared they're just gonna not question him and follow his lead or, better but still sad, realize how bad he is and be disappointed and possibly start hating themselves because of it.

It's especially disappointing because most of the people he streams with aren't problematic. Corpse has continually spoken out against toxic masculinity and his anxiety and depression, Rae is so fun and works so hard and also spreads awareness for mental health, Lilypichu is the same, and Boy In A Band/Dave has played with him before and Dave's whole thing is challenging gender roles and toxic masculinity and being accepting of everyone. I hope he doesn't bring them all down with him. I get that it's hard to leave a friend even if they are problematic so I hope they get out before it's too late/too hard.

That’s exactly why I’m trying to be so active now. He’s playing with so many new people from so many new fandoms and I want to prevent people from going into a fandom, getting attached before finding out their new fave is a very problematic person. If only more people were able to see it. But sadly people who were in the fandom from the very start are now so blindsighted they won’t admit it to themselves. Perhaps with greater numbers of people who are aware, we can make the community better and have Sean realize he has to become a better person before the general media, and the YouTube community will spit him out for the nasty man he is today. It’s important we speak up. No matter what community you come from Your voice is valid and I want to spread the message.