#sadly there is no cabbage

[benevolentbucky]

I started listening to an audiobook at work today and like 30 min in there was a blatant atla reference that made me cringe and. well. I think I'm dnf-ing this one lads

[des1r3-the-st4rs]

minor addition: i don't think onions and whales have ever even been in the same room or habitat together therefore maybe just. No.

Fun scientific fact of the day

Xeno is a special breed of human that descended from beluga whales. He is the only one of his kind

[darkbluekies]

17:38

Mafia!female!yandere OC x reader

Warnings: knives, blood

Jerry sits by the kitchen island with her phone in her hand. You've asked to cook and usually, she doesn't let you, but today she's feeling bold. What could go wrong when she's supervising?

"What are you making?" she asks without looking up from her phone.

"Kimchi."

Jerry puts down her phone and smiles. She crosses her arms over her chest and leans over the table.

"No way, my mom used to make that for me when I was a kid", she smiles sadly.

"I thought that I wanted to try to make it for you", you say.

"You're so sweet, baby. Go wild. Let's see how good of a housewife you are." She tilts her head. "You'd be a pretty cute housewife, wouldn't you?"

"Why are you asking me that? Shouldn't you know?"

Jerry grins slightly. "I think you'd be a very cute housewife."

You pick up the cabbage and wash it thoroughly. Jerry let you come with her to the store to buy it, surprisingly enough. She was very stiff, always glancing around to make sure no one was looking at you weirdly.

You pick up a knife and position it over the cabbage. There's no way you can ferment the entire thing in one piece.

"So that's why you wanted to buy so many spices", Jerry thinks out loud.

"It wasn't too expensive, right?" you ask over your shoulder. "We bought quite a lot."

"Nah, and even if it was, I can get money easily. Don't worry. You should have gotten yourself that ice machine you saw."

"It was too expensive."

"But you'd have ice right now, wouldn't you?"

Jerry raises her eyebrows teasingly. You shake your head disapproving and turn back to your cutting. The wet cabbage becomes an ice rink and the knife slips, cutting your ring finger just over the final rinkle. You gasp in pain.

"What?" Jerry asks quickly, all hints of amusement gone. "Did you cut yourself?"

"Yes", you hiss, holding your hurt hand in your free one. "I'm bleeding."

Jerry shoots up from her chair quick enough for it to tumble back, down on the floor. She hurries over to you and inspects the hurt area.

"Shit, baby, you have to be careful!" she exclaims and pulls your hand over to the sink.

The cold water rinses the wound, causing you to hiss again. Jerry's heart is thumping in her chest. How could she ever think that this was a good idea?

"Stand still", she tells you. "I'll go get a bandaid for you."

She runs into the bathroom and comes back a minute later with a beige band aid in her hands. She removes the plastic layer and wraps it gently around your ring finger. Carefully, she lifts your fingers to her plump lips and kisses it softly.

You look at the cabbage.

"Don't think about it", Jerry tells you. "You're not going to continue. This was a stupid idea. Why did I ever think it was okay for you to use a knife? I trust you too much. Fuck sake. You hurt yourself. Get out of the kitchen."

"It's just a little cut …", you say. "I wanted to make something special for you. I had it all planned …"

She cups your cheeks between her hands.

"I know, baby", she says comfortingly. "And I'm very grateful that you wanted to do something for me, but what kind of girlfriend am I if I let you get hurt, hm? My number one priority is to protect you."

"I know, but …"

"I'll continue this. Go sit down in the living room. People like you shouldn't be allowed into kitchens."

You sigh and leave for the living room. The very second you round the corner, Jerry bites down on her hand, grunting. She feels so bad.

Nonetheless, she finishes what you've started. She looks at the prepared kimchi with a sigh. You're too good for her. You wanted to make one of her childhood side dishes … for what? To make her happy? Why do you care about her happiness after what she's done to you? Jerry shuts her eyes to stop whatever tears want to escape.

"Stop it", she hisses for herself, pressing her palms to her eyes. "Stop fucking crying, you piece of shit."

She gathers herself and cleans up. You look up when she enters the living room.

"I don't want you in the kitchen again", she says monotonously. "Do you get that?"

"It was just an accident, Jerry", you sigh. "The knife slipped. The cabbage was wet and slippery. There will be accidents while cooking … you know that."

She shakes her head firmly. "Not in my house. You're not allowed anywhere near anything sharp. You're too clumsy."

You're about to talk back, but keep your mouth shut, knowing better than to argue with her when she's angry.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for acting apathetic about my chickens?

(CW for animal death/animal attacks)

I (14F) have had chickens my whole life. We usually have around 15~ at a time, and we get chicks that we raise around every 2 years. They live in my backyard, and me and my dad mainly take responsibility over them. I love chickens in general, but mine especially because I helped raise them. For a while, the chickens + my cats were my only friends. I just think they are neat.

Anyways, one big part of owning chickens is recognizing that sometimes they die. When the chicken is lucky, it lives 5+ years and passes from old age. Sadly, not all chickens are lucky. It is a garentee with having a flock of chickens that at least one will get eaten or attacked. If you have chicks, eventually you will end up with one that hatched sickly and it will die too. This definitely isn't a part of having chickens I like, but it's the truth.

I was talking with my brother (18m) about chickens recently and he brought up the time one of our chickens got snatched and eaten by a fox. He asked me if there was anything more we could do to prevent that from happening again, and I told him no, we've done everything we can. He then told me he hated that fox, and asked me if I did too, which once again I said no. More specifically, I told him that "I think it's sad, but obviously the fox was hungry. At least it got fed." My brother got flabbergasted, asking how I could say that. We had a bit of an argument on if that was an appropriate comment to make, where I ended up saying more or less the exact contents of the second paragraph. Now, my brother is insisting I don't care about the chickens and am heartless for thinking about them like that.

I disagree with him. I think you can acknowledge that death is a real possibility and still dislike death, and being realistic about bad things that can happen is important. I care a lot about my chickens. When they die, I dig a hole and bury them someplace pretty, and I always recite a prayer to them. They all have names, but truthfully I do forget them. I dig up worms for them as snacks, I hang up cabbages like piñatas for them to play with. They are safe, and I don't think being accepting about the fact they may die makes me bad.

Personally, I don't think there's an asshole here, but my brother does and I'm not completely sure. I would also like to add that I am autistic so other people struggle with reading my emotions, so my brother probably has good reason to think I don't care. I hope I wrote this written ok!

[bookofthegear]

The floor of the room opposite the sea monster’s head is deeply and unexpectedly indented, which you learn when you step down, turn your ankle, hop sideways, nearly turn your other ankle, and wind up frantically windmilling your arms to keep from face-planting on the floor. There is no preserving your dignity, but at least no one but Jimmy heard you squawk.

The treacherous floor most closely resembles a giant waffle, with the raised walls and shallow depressions. You count eighteen on a side, each about a foot square. Most of the squares contain nothing, but four of them hold the skulls of some kind of rodent with bright orange teeth.

You carefully note down the locations of the skulls. If this were a normal dungeon, that would be the key to a puzzle somewhere, but you’ve about given up hoping for anything so straightforward around here. Still.

On the right hand wall, there is a large opening, running nearly half the length of the wall. Through it, you see an unexpected wall of green, and hear the rustle of…leaves?

You cross the waffled floor and discover a room full of plants that should absolutely not be growing down here, far away from the sun. Nobody seems to have told them that, though.

Sadly, they do not appear to be cabbages.

[voluptuarian]

How to Eat From the Food Bank/Food Pantry

I've seen a number of posts recently encouraging people to utilize their local food banks if they're struggling financially, as well as providing some basics on how one would go about doing that. I've been relying on the food bank myself for about six months now, and it's been very helpful. However, as somebody who was pretty new to cooking and was mostly using pre-made dishes when I did, when I first started going I found the food I was getting completely antithetical to how I cooked and ate and struggled to figure out how to utilize what I was getting. I'm sure I'm not the only person in this position, so I thought I would share the strategies I've learned for making the most of food bank offerings, and the best and most affordable dishes I've found to make with them!

What To Expect/What You'll Need

Food banks tend to cater to families, assume you know how to cook, and expect you to own kitchenware and have pantry space. So if you don't have them already, go to goodwill and get like a 13x9 cake pan, basic soup and frying pan, a stock pot, and a decent size mixing bowl for your own good. (You can get them like one per paycheck if you need to, or even ask friends and family if they have extras, but you Will need them.) You'll also want some cooking utensils, like ladles, spatulas, and decent knives. And God help you if you don't have much pantry space, because every flat surface in your house is now going to be covered in food cans and your crisper drawer will not be enough to hold all the fruit and veg you'll be inundated with. (Sadly, at least where I am, they don't give out milk and that's like a basic ingredient for a lot of the food they're actually giving you, so idk what's up with that.) They usually also assume you have a car, and if you're like me and don't, absolutely bring your own bags because they probably will not have any, reusable shopping bags are perfect for this. Bring more of them than you think you'll need.

Foods you will likely get at a food bank

produce (I frequently get potatoes, onions, oranges, carrots, squash, melons, lettuce, cabbage, green onions, salad mixes, tomatoes, zucchini, cucumbers, and so. many. apples. It's especially abundant during the summer and fall, when people will donate extra produce from their gardens and fruit trees. Good luck finding places to store all that, though.)

boxed macaroni and cheese

dried beans

dried pasta

bagged nuts

bagged rice

canned food (canned spaghetti/ravioli, applesauce, various canned vegetables, and many varieties of beans-- I've most frequently gotten pinto, kidney, navy, and black beans.)

a protein option (at my local one they usually offer a choice between eggs or an egg substitute and some kind of frozen meat, like fish sticks or breaded chicken.)

Foods I recommend you regularly buy yourself if they're not providing (most of which will be used in at least one of these recipes)

cheese (esp shredded)

milk

salt, pepper, and dried spices/herbs (these are not too expensive generally, if you buy them like a week at a time you can get a nice collection in not too long, and if it comes to that they are very easy to steal, but sometimes food banks will give them away as well.)

butter

cooking oil (olive oil is used in multiple recipes I'm sharing here, so that's what I'd recommend-- sadly it is spendy.)

garlic (it makes everything better, honestly, and it will last a long time in your cupboard, too.)

marinara/spaghetti sauce or other pasta sauces (now most these place are already giving out cans of sauce, so why bother buying any? Because they exclusively provide only the blandest, most watery, most worthless canned marinara/tomato sauces known to man. Do not bother trying to use these on pasta-- you can use them for other things, though, which I'll get to. But you'll need something to put on all that boxed spaghetti.)

Go-To Dishes for Food Bank Ingredients:

7 Can Soup - I am not exaggerating when I say this is now the staple food in my diet. Thankfully it is tasty, extremely easy to make, makes enough to last for days, gets better the longer it sits in the fridge, and can often be made with just what you get from the food bank. (Also great for popping in a tupperware for a comforting work lunch.) And you can buy the needed ingredients for less than $6 typically, so even if it's a bad week and they don't give you anything you need, this is still a very cheap dish to make. The basic recipe included here uses pinto, kidney, and black beans, plain diced tomatoes and diced tomatoes with chilies, corn, beanless chili, and a cheese of your choice, but you can easily change it up or add ingredients as well.

My way: I add dried spices, usually a little garlic salt, pepper, and a dash of paprika; as for cheese, shredded Mexican blend is my favorite for its smoothness but pepper jack is great too, and I often mix different kinds. I also play around with the beans I use depending on what I get, but also to taste-- using ranch beans instead of one of the standards is especially nice, and gives a richer flavor. (I haven't tried it with dried beans, but if you have bagged and not canned, I'd assume you could get away with substituting one of the the canned options for a dried one, but not more than that or the flavor will be too weak.) If you prefer a brothy-er soup throw one of those aforementioned tasteless-ass canned marinara sauces in with the beans, it adds more liquid without watering anything down. You can easily add a cooked meat in as well, I love throwing sliced kielbasa in when I can get it. And I usually wait until an old batch is getting low, throw a little water into the pot to soften the leftovers up, and then drop a whole new batch of ingredients in with it, it adds the more intense flavors of the older soup into the new batch (and means I don't have to wash the pot out in between.)

Rumbledethumps (Vers. 1, Vers. 2)

This is a baked Scottish comfort food with a great name. I regularly get given cabbage when I go to the food bank and for a long time was like, what can I possibly do with this? I also frequently end up with a lot of potatoes, more than I need. This dish uses up both of those, only requires a few additional ingredients, and is pretty easy to make even if you don't cook. (Also cabbage, onions, and potatoes are pretty inexpensive, too, so if you're missing one that's not prohibitive.) I've included two recipes as examples, but there are lots of variations you can make, and upping or lowering the amount of cheese, throwing in garlic or spices, or adding or forgoing meat makes it easy to still reliably make regardless of what ingredients you have or how much you have to spend on extras. (I would say, if you can add more cheese, do it, but then I am a cheese-loving gal.)

Briam (Vers. 1, Vers. 2)

This Greek dish is just designed to use up produce and I LOVE her for that. Early on I was absolutely bewildered by all the produce I was getting, and constantly struggling to use it up before it went bad, and briam solved all those problems. And it tastes and smells Divine. I even made it for Thanksgiving this year. Cooking know-how needed is minimal, and the prep is the most labor intensive part, then you just throw it all in a cake pan and put it in the stove. In a typical week you will probably get most of the vegetables you need to make this, and may need to buy a couple squash or tomatoes at most, as well as a few fresh herbs, so it's very affordable. And not only decadent, but a really nice break from a lot of the more processed dishes you'll get-- also vegan!

I've included 2 versions, one is a written recipe with photos, the other is a video of someone prepping briam (the first dish in the video), and while it doesn't provided measurements for everything, includes a lot of ingredients that the written recipe doesn't. My own method combines both of these recipes, so I wanted to share both, but also having a video example is nice sometimes, too.

My way: I've prepared dozens of different versions of this since I started making it depending on what veggies I have while generally falling somewhere between both versions, and it's always delicious. The key is to make sure you balance out starchy and watery vegetables-- look at the suggestions in Vers. 1 and try to keep whatever substitutes you make to the same proportions. (Also if you use carrots, wait until they've gotten a little soft and bendy; fresh, hard carrots will take longer to bake than all the other vegetables and won't cook soft in time otherwise.) For flavoring ingredients I rely on garlic, dried thyme, green onion, Italian parsley, fresh dill, and rosemary, preferably fresh if I can afford it. Sadly herbs are expensive, so if you have to pare it down, garlic, parsley, green onion, and fresh dill are all you really need (I can't skip the dill, it's So Important for me.) and use dried herbs to fill it out. I also like to chop up half a regular yellow onion (or several smaller ones) into fairly small pieces as additional flavor layer, then I use a whole red onion diced into big pieces as part of the regular ingredients. I use twice as much salt as the recipe suggests and only about 2.5 1/4 cups olive oil instead of 3, and skip the tomato paste (you won't need it.) I roughly peel my potatoes as well as any cucumber or zucchini (I tend to find it a bit bitter if I don't). I also like to cut up all my large veggies and throw them in a large mixing bowl, then dice up all my fresh herbs into a smaller bowl, where I combine them with the salt, garlic, and dried herbs, and 1/4 cup of olive oil; then I pour the herb bowl into the veggies, mix them well so everything is evenly covered with flavorings and oil, then dump that into the baking pan, and then add the rest of the oil and water. (I like to get the last of the herbs and spices out by pouring one of the 1/4 cups of water into the little bowl first to rinse it, and then dumping that into the cake pan.)

Adasi (Persian Lentil Soup)

Haven't made this yet because I still haven't bought mint or turmeric, but it looks easy and delicious, plus it's not uncommon to get bags of dried lentils from the food bank, they last a long time, and they're not that expensive to buy either. It's also another vegan option! Also this is one of the few lentil soup recipes (and soup recipes period) that didn't involve blending it afterwards-- I do not have a blender or a food processor, as many people don't I'm sure, and certainly don't have the funds to buy one just to make soup with, so this recipe was a treasure! (Also the instructions say to soak the lentils overnight, but that's not actually necessary-- and you could get away with skipping the parsley or lemon juice, if you needed to.) I feel like this would make a great topping for rice, too.

Hopefully this well help anybody using the food bank to maximize what you're getting, as well as making the jump into real cooking less intimidating for those just starting out. Happy eating!

[barbwritesstuff]

Idk man something about Mc burying themselves in dirt to have a meltdown in peace is so sadly silly to me like-

Oh, where's Mc?

Eh, they're just... Underground i think

What do you mean underground?

Like... Underground

Like in dirt underground or...?

Yeah.

... Oh. Okay.

"Is the vampire in the veggie patch again?"

"Yeah."

"We should buy them their own sandbox or something. This isn't good for my cabbages."

[polarpuppet]

“I need your help, Hatter.” Batman said as he entered the Madman’s room at Arkham. The room was covered in paintings of mushrooms, fake grass, and a relatively nice little place setting with a plastic tea set.

The blonde man sitting at the table tipped his hat. “What do you need help with? Come, come! Sit and join me!” He said happily, gesturing to the empty seat.

“It seems many of your fellow inmates have been brutalised to the point of hospitalisation. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” Batman asked, observing the shaky look in the younger man’s eyes before he looked away, messing with an orange stripped cat. “Forgive me, but I haven’t a clue about them.” He mumbled as he took a sip of tea.

Batman looked around before back at him. “Your room seems nice. A lot of privileges went into it.” He said as Hatter pulled the cat close to him. “You’ll take Chessie from my decaying corpse, Jaberwocky!” He yelled, holding her protectively.

Batman knew he wouldn’t get much from him if he was defensive. A bit more of a calmer approach might help. He cleared his throat and smiled. “My dear Hatter, excuse my rudeness.” Batman said, years of listening to Alfred helping his accent shine. Hatter’s guard lowered some as Batman took the other teacup. “May I join you for tea? It smells wonderful!” He said.

Hatter smiled softly, the most calm expression he’s seen on his face in a while. “Yes you may! I’m so glad you remembered your manners!” Hatter lightly scolded him and poured him some tea. The cat walked over and lazily laid down on top of a mushroom cat bed. “Sorry for Chess. She’s still learning her manners, but she’s just a baby.” He said joyfully.

Batman took some sips and looked around the room again. “Hatter. Do you know where your friends are?” He asked. This question got a small reaction from the Madman, who looked scared and shushed him.”Careful, Jabberwocky, lest the Card Guards hear you scheming. They will drag you to the guillotine and then your screams will join the others.” He said.

Batman’s eyes narrowed. “They do what now?” He asked, his teeth grinding some. “Yes. They have taken the Queen of Hearts, The March Hare, and the Duchess.” Hatter said. “They even got the little Dormouse. She looked scared.” He mumbled nervously. “If they knew I told you, Jabberwocky, they would make my head roll too.” Hatter said in mild panic.

Batman smiled, trying to calm the distressed man. “It’s alright, my dear Hatter. Everything will be taken care of. I assure you, everything will be fine.” He said and took another long sip of his tea. Hatter calmed instantly and took a sip of his own. “Quite right. I much rather talk of other things of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings.” He said happily.

“And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.” Batman replied, remembering the story Alfred used to read him at night. Hatter perked up. “Yes! Exactly right!” He cheered before he held out an Ace of Hearts card. “Return for tea whenever you wish, my dear Jabberwocky. I rather like your company over the Chef. His laughter is rather annoying.” He said simply.

Batman took him up on the offer many times, getting intel as best as he could from the merry man. He returned a week later, finding the blonde on his bed, his hat punched out, Chessie shaved, and most of his things ruined. Hatter looked up from his bed, beaten and bruised that he could barely lift his head. “Please, no more. Forgive me.” He begged, reaching out to him as Batman walked over and knelt by him.

The look on Hatter’s face, the sadness and terror. He knew he had to be gentle with him.”Dear Hatter, what has become of you?” He asked worriedly, Hatter’s expression perking up at the familiar voice and a small smile graced his lips. When did he start to enjoy that smile? “Oh Jabberwocky! It’s you, glorious you!” He said.

“They besmirched my humble abode and my precious Chessie baby!” He said sadly, trying his best to get up and failing. “You’re hurt, my dear Hatter. Let me help you.”Batman said, lifting up Hatter slightly. “No, no. The Card Guards will get you too. This was for a minor offence, but you, my dear Jabberwocky, will be in far bigger trouble if they find you helping me. Both our heads will roll!” He said, grabbing onto Batman’s cape, his eyes wide with pure fear.

“Please, please get my baby out of here.” He said, gesturing to Chessie, who was snuggled up to Hatter’s injured and bloody side. Was that from a stab wound?! “Hatter, I can’t just leave you here. What of Dormouse and the March Hare?” Batman asked, trying to think of a way to get both cat and man out in one piece. “Gone. Their heads have already rolled…”Hatter mumbled, his eyes looking heavy.

Batman’s head snapped up to meet those deranged eyes. “Gone? What do you mean gone?” He inquired. “Gone gone. The Card Guards pruned them like roses. Oh the lovely Rose.” He said as small tears went down his cheeks. “Taken, one by one. Discarded, now singing Golden Afternoon in the depths below.” He mumbled before his head fell limp. “Hatter?“ Batman asked as he shook him gently. “Oh my dear Hatter…”He said mournfully.

[twstfanblog]

Okay I’m gonna bite WTF do you mean by ‘magic baby’??? Like what’s doing on there? Was Finley made by magic? Did a spell go wrong and Vil got knocked up? Potion go wrong and instead of a whatever potion now there’s a baby in the cauldron???

Evil Queen Vil just kinda had 'Baby?' marked down on his evil calendar of conquering lands via fancy dinner parties and poisoning water supplies. Thought it'd be a good accessory, he'll see when he finds out what color it is.

Potions master, he made a potion that was SUPPOSED to boil down into a baby so that he didn't have to sacrifice his figure. Sadly, Epel confused the baby potion and Vil's homemade fertilizer and spread the baby potion in Vil's potion ingredient garden. Vil is furious but just takes it as a sign that he wasn't meant to have a baby then. (He can't send Epel away like he did with Neige; he just got him.)

But at the end of summer, a fuck ton of cabbages sprout all over Vil's potion ingredient garden. He orders Rook to clear it out while he tends to other matters. Half a day later, Rook is standing in front of him with a big smile, a bunch of cabbage, and a bouncing baby boy.

Vil:

Vil: Where did you find that?

Rook: In a cabbage!

Vil: Rook, I am serious

Congrats, Vil, you got your baby. No pregnancy required!

[phoward89]

Based on this ask

Coriolanus Snow, for as long as he could remember, had always linked the scent of roses to his mother, Demeter Snow. His mother was too sweet for this world. She was very beautiful, but vapid. She didn't have a grasp on the hardships of life, being sheltered from them due to her standing as a young lady from a wealthy Capitolite family. And, of course, Coriolanus' father, Crassus, kept his wife with a heart of gold and who enjoyed singing love songs and playing the piano at his Corso penthouse with his mother while he served in District 12 as the Commander.

Coriolanus' vaguely remembers how his mother always sang him love songs from the days before Panem. Oh, how she sang to him all of the classics, ballads, and operas she enjoyed. She would also pick him up and sling him on her hip, singing to him while helping her mother-in-law tend to the rooftop rose garden. A garden that she always smelled like.

But one day, when he was 5, tragedy stuck. Coriolanus was going to be a big brother. His mother, Demeter, was expecting a baby girl. It wasn't planned (at least it wasn't on Crassus' part) but the new addition was going to be a little bit of newfound joy in the Snow family. Much needed joy considering the rebellion breaking out in the districts.

Demeter had gotten Coriolanus all excited about becoming a big brother to a little sister. So excited that he couldn't wait for the baby to come. His mother said that her name was going to be a floral one. Calla. Like the calla lily. Coriolanus wondered if his baby sister would smell like lilies when she was born since she'd be named after them.

But Coriolanus discovered one fateful night that his baby sister would not smell of lilies, but of the stench of death and blood when she was born. That she'd struggle to breath with too tiny lungs and struggle to stay warm with her translucent skin covering her nearly 2 pound body. That his baby sister would die wrapped in a blanket as he held her in his arms, sitting by the roaring fireplace as his Grandma’am and the cook tried to save his mother, who was hemorrhaging in the birthing bed.

Sadly, Demeter Snow bleeds to death in the birthing bed after going into premature labor at 7 months due to the sudden bombing by the districts. Yes, the official start of the war between the Capitol and their allies and the Districts had triggered off a premature labor that had proven deadly for the delicate woman that was too softhearted for this world. The woman who smelled of roses, always powdered her nose with rose scented powder, and enjoyed singing love songs and playing the piano.

As the war drew on, the Snow family had to make sacrifices to eat and stay warm. Since the Capitol was under siege for a few years, food was scarce and so was fuel. The Snow family, thankfully, had their neighbor Pluribus to help them acquire lima beans from the black market. He was also able to give Grandma'am Snow some cabbage seeds to grow in her garden.

Fuel was hard to find, but thankfully the Snow penthouse has a fireplace. And in order to keep the flames fanning, Coriolanus had to sacrifice his beloved picture books to the flames. The books his mother always read to him and to be burned to stay warm. Just like his mother's prized baby grand piano had to be chopped up for firewood. It was either freeze to death in the bitter winters in the valley of the Rocky Mountains or sacrifice sentimental items to use us fuel for flames of warmth

The latter was the choice Grandma'am Snow made for her family. Of course, she had help from the neighbor, Pluribus with chopping up the piano; she even shared the wood from it for his help.

After the loss of his mother's baby grand piano, the only thing Coriolanus had left of his mother that was tangible was her silver compact full of her rose scented powder, her bright orange shawl, and a picture of her with him slung on her hip as a baby.

Coriolanus took to smelling his mother's compact for comfort whenever he was feeling anxious. The smell of roses, his mother's scent, always seemed to calm him.

And it was like this as he grew into a young man.

Until one day he's sitting in the front row seat of his morning class and in walks Dean Casca Highbottom with a new girl in tow.

You.

“Class, I’d like to introduce you to Miss Y/N Halvir.” Dean Highbottom waves his hand towards you while informing the class, “She's the daughter of Colonel Javani Halvir, the war hero, and she's just transferred here District 2 where her father was stationed at PK Base- The Nut.”

You're nervous, standing in front of the entire class. Everyone's eyes are on you, scrutinizing you; judging you. But a pair of icy blue eyes that belong to a boy with a prominent nose and light golden curls makes you feel like the air has left your lungs as they pin you with a look you can't distinguish.

“Mr. Snow, I'm assigning you the task of showing Miss Y/N around the Academy.” Dean Highbottom told Coriolanus, who just gave the dean a curt nod. Dean Highbottom turned to you, only to say, “Please have a seat between Mr. Snow and Mr. Plinth.”

But before you could even ask who those boys were, a broad boy with dark curly hair smiled warmly at you and the icy eyed boy, who made you feel a bit uneasy from his gaze, subtly nodded to the empty seat next to him.

You walk over to your newly assigned seat and place yourself in between your new classmates, Plinth and Snow. The dark haired boy, Plinth, smiles and introduces himself as Sejanus.

“I’m from 2, but I moved here right after the war when I was 8.” Sejanus informs you before asking, “How long were you in 2 for? Do you miss it?”

“I was there long enough and no, I don't miss it there.” You tell your classmate.

Coriolanus can't help, but stare at you in awe. For one, you couldn't wait to leave the district your father was stationed in for the Capitol, but the other reason- the real reason he was in awe over you was because of your smell. Your scent was one he hasn't had the luxury to smell in a long time.

You smell like roses.

“I'm Coriolanus Snow; I'd be honored to become your friend.” The blonde boy smiled, extending his hand out for you to shake.

“I think I'd like that.” You smile, shaking Coriolanus hand before turning your attention to the lesson being taught.

And during the entire class Coriolanus finds himself drawn to your rosy scent instead of paying attention to the lecture being given. Roses fill his nostrils faintly and it's intoxicating. All he can do is fall into a feeling of comfort, since the scent of roses always eased his anxiety. He's positive that you'll be a warm, gentle soul like his mother was because you smell like roses- just like she did.

And because you smell like roses, Coriolanus is determined to make you his girl; his one true comfort in a life of anxieties and unknowns.

Tags: @kuroosbby001 @purriteen @poppyflower-22 @meetmeatyourworst @whipwhoops @bxtchopolis @readingthingsonhere @savagenctzen @ryswritingrecord @erikasurfer @tulips2715 @universal-s1ut @thesmutconnoisseur @squidscottjeans @sudek4l @wearemadeofstardust0 @mashiromochi @gracieroxzy @belcalis9503 @shari-berri @aoi-targaryen @whiteoakoak @spear-bearing-bi-witch @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons @qoopeeya @mfnqueen1 @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @v-love @swiftieblyth @joyfulyouthlover @lady-harvey @chxrrybomb22 @marvel-hiddles-stark @xjinnix @devils-blackrose @zombicupcake3 @jacesvelaryons @tempt-ress

[basedkikuenjoyer]

So we have another new set! Just dropped in Japan recently. 10 main sets and two special releases, I'm proud of this TCG for coming as far as it has. Sadly this is another heavy Dressrosa one and I don't get why they keep going to that well so much. There's not a ton that interests me but hey, there's some stuff I'm sure others will like. Yellow Kid Supernovas leader. Sugar as a leader as well as Usopp. New Cabbage so I can finally complete a binder page of him. These were the really cool alt arts I'd want though. Flampe's is funny though as a rule I don't like other characters looking like it is their card and Katakuri taking more space sorta does that. This Whitebeard one with all his sons is a beauty though.

Let's take a sec though and look at my favorite addition. A couple of commons that finally give me something new for OG Oden:

It's Dressrosa and Punk Hazard. So we get a green and a black Momo but two green Kin'emon cards!? This is beautiful design that's so stupid I love it. What are their abilities? Each of these cheap ones can sacrifice themselves and discard the other to reassemble a whole Kin'emon. In essence it's a really cheap way to turbo out that 6-cost Kin'emon from the first set who comes in with a buddy.

These two plus a Momonosuke that can sacrifice himself to get two Akazaya Nine characters from the top five cards of your deck? It'll take some tinkering with but there's some real power there. With Oden I could go second, hit this, get Kin'emon/Okiku out on my first turn, and still have two Don to play with in a deck that would now have three cheap ways to dig. And like...one of these halves is still pretty good as an on-type 2000 counter in a deck where I'm fine with situational cards I don't mind chucking to Oden's leader ability.

[epicmilly]

ooooold art from fifth grade!!! i am SO glad i was able to dig up these photos since i think i threw out the drawings 😭 sorry for the horrible quality lol

OMG YOU CAN SEE MY OLD CAT CASE IN THE SHADOW

the one i'm saddest about losing is merrin :( i have it clearly in my head but sadly it is gone, along with a bunch of other drawings...

also, take into mind septimus and boy 412s matching cabbage sandwiches... what could that mean....

[natashaslesbian]

Babysitter

From the ‘Tiny Dancer’ series

Natasha had no choice but to leave you with Uncle Bruce when she goes away for an overnight mission. It turns out, Bruce isn’t the best babysitter

Word Count: 1.2k

Pairings (Mom!Natasha x Daughter!Reader) (Bruce Banner x Kid!Reader) (Wanda Maximoff x Kid!Reader)

Warnings: none I think :)

————

“Ok tiny dancer” Natasha said as she left a gentle kiss on your cheek “you be good for uncle Bruce ok?” You nodded your little head and gave your mama a sad smile “I’ll be good. I promise” your mommy gave you a tight hug and made a quick exit. Trial and error had discovered that a short goodbye left you much calmer than a long buildup causing you to breakdown when Natasha closed the door. You turned away from the elevator and headed back towards the avengers private living room “Natasha will um- mommy will be back soon y/n” Bruce tried his best to console you, he was still pretty new at this. Until now, Dr Banner had never looked after you alone, he had always shared the babysitting responsibility with Clint or Tony or whoever was at the compound while Natasha was away for a mission. “You wanna…watch tv?” Bruce said “yes please” you replied as you took his hand, much to his surprise.

You spent 3 hours in front of the tv, you usually did right after Natasha had left for a mission. It took a little while to bring out your bubbly personality. “heeeyy y/n” Bruce said as he returned with your dinner “I’ve made your favourite!” Beckoning you towards the dinner table “Dino nuggs?” You asked “yes. Dino nuggets indeed” your uncle said as he helped you up onto the chair. Natasha had left strict instructions on how you liked your dinosaur nuggets to be made and what you would eat them with, you were horrified when you looked over the plate of burnt nuggets and cabbage as a side “ew!” You exclaimed “what’s this?” Bruce had tried his best, he couldn’t find the sweetcorn you usually had with this meal so he settled for cabbage in the hopes you would at least try it “it’s some yummy cabbage y/n, with your dino nuggets” he handed you your little plastic pink fork which was instantly thrown across the kitchen and clattered on the floor. “Don’t want caby thingy!” You yelled “what about the nuggets?” Bruce tried to deflate the situation “they’re b-burnt!” You started to cry “don’t lik-like them burnt!” You climbed down from your chair and made a fast exit back to your bedroom. “Great” Bruce huffed.

Uncle Bruce tried to tempt you with every other option he could think of for dinner, even takeout. You, however, were having non of it, you wanted your dino nuggets. Dr Banner accepted defeat and returned to the kitchen where he spent 3 hours perfecting your dinner to your high standers. It was almost your bedtime when you finally sat down for your second attempt at dinner, you had long ago stopped complaining about your rumbly tummy and could barely keep your eyes open while you ate the last few bites. There were still more mountains to climb before bed, but luckily you were exhausted so you didn’t put up much of fight during bath time. You fell asleep way after your usual bed time and Bruce near enough collapsed into his bed down the hall.

The scientist felt a small breeze against his hand in the early hours of the morning. He shot awake when his handed was tightly tugged. His minor scream as he awoke had you backing into a corner immediately “sowry uncle Bruce” you whispered “oh y/n” he panted “it’s alright, um- are you okay?” He asked as he pulled back the covers “I had a bad dweam” you whispered “oh- ugh” Bruce was baffled, having no idea how to help you “do you wanna- um - have some milk and then um go back to bed?” He offered “well, mommy usually lets me stay in her bed” you sadly said, missing your mama so much. “Right, well” your uncle scanned his brain for any ideas, sharing his bed with you wasn’t exactly his first choice “would you like me to read to you?” He offered again. You drew your gaze down to the floor and sighed “no, it’s ok” you said as you turned on your heels and went back to your bedroom. Bruce gave you a sympathetic smile and rolled back into bed.

It wasn’t until a little while later that he realised the problem hadn’t quite been solved. He could hear your small whines out in the corridor and prepared himself for your re-entry. “Shh y/n, it’s alright” a familiar voice said. Bruce tumbled out of bed to investigate further. Upon opening the door he found an exhausted looking Wanda holding you snug in her arms pattering up and down the corridor. “Wanda?” Dr Banner asked. The brunette must’ve just returned from her solo mission. She shot her crimson eyes at the scientist and he immediately cowered away “why did you send her back to bed crying?” Wanda managed to whisper but also shout “she-she just walked away, I didn’t know what to do!” Bruce stammered, scratching the stubble on his chin. “She just needs some love and cuddles Bruce, just go back to bed I’ll look after her. Properly” the witch didn’t spare a second glance as she took you down the hall to the living area. Bruce excused himself to head back to bed, feeling very defeated. It wasn’t all his fault, he had zero experience with caring for kids and he did try his best.

Natasha wasted no time in heading straight to your bedroom when she returned in the early hours of the morning. She came to a halt in the living area when she saw you fast asleep on top of a dishevelled looking Wanda, who was also fast asleep. The widow was confused but before she could find Bruce a small whimper caught her attention “mama?” You whispered “hey baby girl” your mommy said as she came and scooped you up into her arms. Finally she was home and you were back in the safest place on earth “where is uncle Bruce?” She asked “uncle Bruce is a bad babysitter” you crossly said as you rubbed your eyes, Natasha couldn’t help but giggle slightly. “It’s okay sweethearts, mommy’s here now” she said as she kissed your hairline. You let out a big yawn and another pair of hands came to hold you “hey Nat” Wanda said “Bruce is in his room, I’ll take her to bed” she said, knowing that deep down Natasha was probably quite angry with Bruce. You willingly let Wanda carry you back to bed and fell straight back into dreamland, knowing your mommy was home again.

You woke up an hour later to a commotion outside your bedroom. “I gave you the easiest job Bruce!” Your mom said “how do you burn nuggets? I mean seriously!” You giggled slightly and crawled out of bed towards the door to listen closely “I’m so sorry Natasha I just didn’t know what to do” Bruce pleaded “if Wanda hadn’t had come home she would’ve been left scared and afraid because of you! I am never leaving my daughter with you again Bruce!” Your bedroom door clicked open and both avengers turned to you “hey baby, did you have a good sleep?” Natasha said as she came to give you a cuddle, you hummed contently and lifted your arms up signalling that you wanted your mama to lift you up “let’s go get some breakfast yeah y/n?” Your mom asked “yes pwease” you tiredly said as Natasha headed for the kitchen. You pulled back from her shoulder and looked back Bruce, he smiled. You on the other hand stuck your little tongue out and have a cheeky look at your uncle.

It was safe to say that Natasha wouldn’t be leaving you with Bruce anytime soon.

————

This is crap I know I’m sorry :/

-Astara

[sleepytoycollection]

So a funny thing happened today.

Today was the day of the local toycon, and I was very well behaved. I only bought things I'd already been on the look out for (not pictured, but I got replacement shoes for my Strawberry Shortcake dolls!), and no impulse purchases. Sadly a lot of the things I was hoping to find were not to be found, but oh well. Good for my wallet I guess. Still had a blast talking with other collectors. c:

One thing I've been hoping to thrift for a while is a Rainbow Brite doll (I know I could just buy one online, but where's the fun in that?) to go with her horse friend I thrifted a year ago:

But I hadn't had luck with that, so when I found one cheap at the toy fair, I bought her. (Got Rodger too, bc I've been wanting a small plush of him to go with my custom Jessica.)

Anyway, after leaving the con, my ride wanted to go by goodwill, and guess what I find there?

A Rainbow Brite, the exact same as I bought at the fair LMAO

Granted, the one from the fair is cleaner and in better condition, but there's a twist!

They're variants!

The one on the left (the goodwill one) is the Taiwan version, and the right (toy fair) is the Hong Kong version!

It's easier to see in person, but there's a lot of little differences between them despite being otherwise the same doll. Taiwan has more hair, but a blurrier face printing with lighter colors. The skin tones (and fabric skin tones) are different, and other such little details.

Goodwill had a lot of other 80's there toys too, I bought the 2 G1 MLP (I'll show them later), and another woman bought the Care Bears and Cabbage Patch dolls.

I can't believe I finally thrifted one the literal same day I finally decided to buy one elsewhere.

[bookofthegear]

For lack of any other direction, you head west along the catwalk to the open doorway in the wall. To your total lack of surprise, it leads to another concrete hallway running north-south.

Opposite the doorway is a fossil, or at least the sculpture of a fossil. Obviously the labyrinth isn’t old enough for REAL fossils to have formed, and they wouldn’t form in concrete walls anyway. You think. That’s more a biology question, really.

What the fossil actually is is also a biology question. It’s about four feet tall and very, very long. You seem to be somewhere in the middle of it. It’s a…snake? Maybe? Lotta ribs, anyway. No, there’s some sort of fin on its back, you can see spines…

It can’t possibly be a sea serpent. Those are just giant squid or random whale penises! (You remember THAT biology fact, but who wouldn’t?)

Hmm, unless it’s a sculpture of a fossil of a sea serpent…

Based on the direction of the spines, you walk south toward the head. Eventually you find it, though the beast is at least forty feet long, if not longer. It has a weirdly smushed face, with a gigantic round eye and a tiny, disapproving mouth. More impressive is a topknot of spines erupting from the head like a party hat, only a little distorted by fossilization. It also has two long…deely-bobbers…on the underside that stretch back for several yards.

“Is deely-bobber the technical term, boss?” (Jimmy has to spell the word letter by letter, as this is not a standard phrase in interpretive dance.)

“Absolutely,” you tell him, studying the sea serpent in all its questionable glory. Can’t possibly be real, of course. You almost bought it until the deely-bobbers and the topknot, but that was just gilding the lily. The artist needed to quit while they were ahead.

There is a doorway on the east wall opposite the head and the corridor continues to the south.

[notgilderoylockhart]

"Duck Foie Gras Terrine, pickled fruit, roasted apple bonbon"

Duck foie gras, with pickled red grapes and a roasted apple bonbon, most likely candied, topped with gold leaf. And what seems to be some pickled red cabbage on the side.

2. Venus Clams

Venus clams with dill and red chilies in oil. Inside the oil are specks of red, which could be chili flakes. There also seems to be a few drops of balsamic vinegar between the clamshells and a dollop of green pesto. If you zoom in a little more, there also is something that looks like white foam, which would fit the sea theme of the plate.

3. Pig Foot

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess this might be a play on the recipe for Maple Glazed Pig's Head with Lobster in Martin Picard's book Sugar Shack Au Pied de Cochon. The bloody sauce might be a red wine reduction. There is a small amount of what looks like mashed potatoes under the foot.

4. Mussels with tomatoes

The mussel meat is arranged in a circularly inside a baked tart shell, with the occasional melted tomato in between. Next to it is an entire mussel as well as a decorative sprig of parsley.

x

5. not shown

x

6. not shown

7. "Ajoblanco, bread, crushed almonds, galic, olive oil, salt, a garnish of green grapes"

Ajoblanco is a cold soup made from exactly those ingredients. We sadly don't get a close up of it. Pity.

8. "Rabbit Three Ways"

We also sadly do not get a close up of this dish, but we do see a something resembling a stuffed pastry on Daniel's fork in a close up. From left to right, I'd say we can see a rabbit pastry, a bacon wrapped tenderloin and a braised leg here.

9. Steak

Alas, again, we do not get a close up, but I can't make out anything other than 2 giant pieces of steak. The steak is cooked medium, a blood-less perfect pink, which is the culinary standard, when a guest doesn't give a temperature preference for their meat.

10. Dessert

This might be a pavlova with strawberries and ice cream. There are a wide variety of meringue shapes, some dollops, some piped with a star shaped tip, a slightly larger one for the strawberry ice cream to perch on top of and another, even larger ring shaped meringue, for the second white ice cream. The empty space on the plate between the meringues is decorated with cut up strawberries and what seems to be powdered sugar.