#sad stuff but with now happy endings dw

[peppenispizza]

bad dreams

peppino has ptsd dreams, but now, you’re here. (emotional fluff)

Peppino had a tricky thing with sleep. Bad nights, good nights. Mostly bad... But since you came into his life, It didn’t... He knew he could lean on you if he had to. They were still bad; but... Not as alone.

You recently started staying over, mostly at his place since he had to basically go to work almost after he woke up, and it was most convenient. It became routine; And you had even moved some stuff from your place into his (crappy) little space above his pizzeria. Nothing too big, mainly the television and some pillows. It was a lot better having an actual tv, with programs, not some... weird staticky box.

 You both planned on bringing an actual mattress into the damn place instead of the pull-out couch bed; Which you constantly told him it’s horrid for his back. The only reason he even considered it was because you were around (dumb).

It hadn’t been there yet. You couldn’t really sleep, so you had the television on as you kinda curled against his side.

Peppino started to squirm a bit; Which.. did not seem strange. Until he started muttering. All of the sudden his chest started heaving and he started to toss back and forth.

You barely knew what to do but you rubbed his side and kept repeating his name until his eyes opened.

“WHA-” He sat up and looked around, disoriented, before he saw you to the side. You were looking at him, a bit scared.

He swallowed a bit and looked to the side, shoulders drooping. Shit. You saw. Fuck.

“I’m... sorry, Y/N.” He cleared his throat a bit and sat up, staring at his lap.

 “I..I..have-a bad memories of-a some things, a-and- I get-a nightmares a-and Imgphh-” was all he got out before you scooted up and yanked him into a hug with your entire upper body; His face kinda pressed against your neck.

“That’s okay.” you kissed his forehead.

“H- Wh-?”

...He never had anyone else be this intimate with about this. ...Maybe he could, with you. You were a necessary constant in his life now, and vice versa.

“I... um.” he swallowed a bit before kind of.. taking a minute, then shoving his face into your neck.

“Do you wanna talk about it or sleep?”

“..Sleep..”

You squeezed him close, kissing the side of his head. You felt some wet spots on your cheek. You smiled a bit and peppered his face with a series of little kisses.

“I love you.”

“T-t-ti amo,”

You hugged him down into bed with his face nuzzled against yours, a few tears sliding down his cheek. At least he could always be here, against you, someone who cared. Now. Maybe he could open up about it to you at some point, but for now all he wanted to do was keep you close and fall back asleep.

And he squeezed himself up as close as he could against you. You’re so warm. Soft.

You smelled nice.

The television flickered a bit on the menu as you both fell back asleep.

[jellybeanium124]

pathetic vent post lol

so the thursday before last, one of my coworkers told me she's quitting bc she got a job in the field she wants to have a career in. I was happy for her and told her so, but I also felt kind of sad, because she's a woman close in age to me and I've been thinking we could be friends if I wasn't technically her boss for a little while now. so finally near the end of our shifts (we were closing) I buck up and ask if her she'd want to exchange contact info and stay in touch and hang out after she left.

and y'all she looked so happy and excited to be asked that. absolutely 0 hints that her delighted response wasn't genuine. so she puts her number in my phone, and even takes a silly picture for the contact pic, and I send a test text and she responds to confirm it's her correct number.

on monday I text her about hanging out later in the week, with ideas. on tuesday I text her again, with new ideas if she didn't like my first ones. I didn't mean to double text two days in a row.

nothing.

I wait till yesterday and send her one last text, explaining that I really do wanna be friends, I am more chill outside of work and she's only seen Work Nina if that's what she's worried about, but that I don't wanna bother her.

it's been over 24 hours now, and nothing. part of me wonders if she changed her mind and blocked my number.

it's just really disheartening because I've had another person string me along and then not respond/continually cancel on me pretty recently. after my college friend group broke up thanks to the serial sexual predator (which is a whole nother story, dw he didn't do anything to me, in fact he refused to talk to me the first time we met when I introduced myself and tried to make polite small talk, and I realized several months later that he didn't engage with me at all because he didn't wanna fuck me 🙃) things have been kind of dire in the irl friends department and it's sad and pathetic and I thought finally here was a girl I really connected with, and she liked gossiping with me at work, and she seemed really really excited at the possibility of being real friends with me, and then nope... not a single response to any of my texts. zip nada zilch.

it's just hard... I was basically socially rejected by everyone in my film program at my uni, then I finally started to make friends at the jewish club and a serial predator with an apartment full of guns who sells stolen lego sets on ebay and does cocaine ruins that, and then I'm at work and now that I'm a manager I'm the boss of most people there and I wouldn't be close friends with most of them anyways and the one girl who I think I could be really close friends with fucking ghosts me after I was brave enough to ask if she'd wanna be friends. it's been like five straight years of rejection for me. I always had friends in k-12, I wasn't a "popular kid" but I was well liked among the venn diagram of gays, nerds, theater kids, and band kids and I had a lot of friends in high school. I don't fucking know what happened. and now I'm on meds that are finally giving me energy and happy chemicals so I wanna go out, I wanna do stuff, I wanna walk around, and I don't wanna be an apartment slug anymore but I don't have anyone to do anything with and there's only so much fun you can have by yourself. and I'm still too shy to go to a bar alone because I know I'll stand in the corner paralyzed by social anxiety. I'm trying bumble bff rn but I'm so shit at responding to people and I kinda hate myself for it and I'm trying to do better but I keep not responding to people for too long and yeah maybe my ex-coworker is stuck in that cycle too idk.

oh yeah and the whole past year of antisemitism makes everything worse because I'm deeply realistically afraid that any goyim I meet are going to be hateful hamasniks <3 so that's a fun lil bonus.

jesus man... idfk. it's just shitty. it's just fucking shitty.

[oodlyenough]

dw empire of death

spoilers ofc

hm. like many RTD finales, a bit of a mixed bag. i feel less certain of my overall thoughts than last week (which i thought was a blast, tbh).

the good: i'm... pretty happy with the ruby mom reveal. this whole mystery box set up turning out to be "she was just a scared young woman who couldn't raise her baby", an ordinary woman mythologized by ruby and the doctor over the season, etc, is an extremely RTD solution. and as a fan of his stuff I liked seeing that... well... pivot to his roots as opposed to her being part of the pantheon or something (which I admit I did wonder about myself).

the *idea* of her pointing at the sign to name the baby is nice, I like the meaning of it and what Ruby takes from it, but it is a bit of a clumsy set up. very dramatic pointing, ms miller.

also as much as i was dying to see what the screen said lol i DID love the character moment of ruby stepping forward to offer the name to sutekh, only to smash it, and then clip his collar (lmfao btw). i thought that was a nice character moment for ruby. in that moment i thought perhaps we'd never find out the answer, and that would be something ruby sacrificed for the greater good. i wasn't sure how satisfying that would be and I guess I'll never have to find out bc it's not what happened lmao, but it is where i thought we might be headed.

i liked seeing the gloves and the rope from TCORR come back. i like surprise tools that will help us later :)

loved the memory tardis from the time window and the use of that tales from the tardis set. how cool.

loved the time window playing clips of classic who that's so fun. mel's moment with six's outfit awwww. and i'm sure i missed some of the namedrops of planets etc that fifteen was going on about but i liked the ones i caught. shan-shen! oodsphere!!

i thought the effects of the dust wave and the insta-crumbling was pretty good and spooky

i really like having mel around! i hope we get to see her cameo again

the mixed bag:

'the death wave is eating memories and going back through family trees in reverse' is pretty cool as a concept, i thought. where i think this hurts the resolution a bit is that in the moment i thought, "ok, well, ruby's "safe" because there's the Mystery, there's no family tree for it to climb!" but like... there was. does sutekh need to personally be aware of your family tree to kill you?

i really liked the moment of fifteen and ruby watching louise outside the coffee shop, and i really liked the moment where ruby sits down across from her and then the barista calls the name ruby and they have this look. i ... kind of found myself wishing that it would stop there? i mean, i'm happy for ruby, and i think "ruby found her bio fam and now ruby and her big family are together" is a nice ending for the character. but there was something so emotional and bittersweet about that split second of wondering and connection between the two, and ruby having that choice to make...

the goodbye between ruby and fifteen was lovely. millie gibson is so good her big watery eyes make me so sad. i've enjoyed the two of them together and i think they have incredible chemistry as characters and actors, like, what a team of besties. i'll miss ruby on the TARDIS. but ... only 10 episodes, a couple of which didn't feature them much at all... a bond that didn't get super developed on screen ... I dunno. Left me wishing we got more from them through the season.

I do know we'll see more of Ruby next season, so I'm excited for that. an s4 Martha situation. but then I also worry about Varada Sethu's character getting development time too...

the not so good:

killing off rose, kate, etc in the first minute removes stakes, because while you might worry about characters like cherry or carla who won't necessarily stick around when ruby leaves or whose deaths will impact ruby, you know rose and kate are not going to stay dead permanently. also very infinity war (derogatory) where there was the same issue -- no these characters won't stay dead and i'm not going to humour it lol

rose temple sweetie it was nice to see you stand in the background and not speak. what was that about. she FINALLY got all of two lines. it just felt like she didn't serve a lot of purpose in this ep. I mean I liked seeing her but she did not do anything to the story in either part of the ep

the solution of "death kills death" was a bit goofy lol but it's doctor who the solution is always goofy. i didn't care too much about that i guess. but it was goofy

i really think we could've used a more decisive scene with carla and ruby. carla seems to understand ruby's desire to know her bio fam and be supportive of it and that's lovely. obviously ruby loves carla and vice versa. but i think it would've been nice to have a moment of on-screen explicit acknowledgment between carla and ruby that there might be weird feelings there, that louise isn't replacing carla, something like that.

related to the above, the Doctor says Ruby redefined the way he thinks of family, which is a huge thing to say, but I don't feel like I ever saw that happening on screen. it COULD have. all the pieces are there with foundlings and foster care and adoption...

[thisfanisgonesorry]

hi if you're still taking requests, I can't get the idea of arthur somehow being in the epilogue, alive and thriving, working on the ranch with john and his family and just being happy

IM IN LOVE WITH YOU!! omg thanks for the req <3 i hope u enjoy it cutiepie, sorry it took me a lil bit

ending cowrote by @megbimbo loml

tags: yall are in the epilogue, making this an xreader since im basically useless if i dont but its light so dw, canon deviation obviously, high honor arthur. very angsty because my little gremlin brain could not just make him healthy but HE IS HAPPY!! MY BOY IS A HAPPY CAMPER!!; i usually write 1st person but i got possessed so heres a 2nd person fic (never doing this again, sorry if its shit), genderneutral but implied fem reader. milking the cows was the most pleasurable part of the epilogue after the absolute shitshow i had to endure that was chapter 6. arthur milks the cows for that exact reason. some medical terms i know that probably werent viable to use back in the day but idc. some cowboy stuff i learnt as a wee lass when i had a horsey. so many tags ill shut up now. (i got sad at the end of the fic because i realised you cant kiss him. that made me sad.) also water pump distance ref because its.. not as close as i thought it was.

♡

You and Abigail tended the house while Arthur and John were outside, doing god knows what, their manly chores. Jack and Uncle had a day trip to Blackwater, running errands and such, getting groceries, the works. Jack needed to get out of the house and Uncle needed to get out of doing work.

“I’ve got this.” Abigail spoke, taking the plate from your hands. A brisk nod and you wandered off outside to check on the boys, mostly worried for Arthurs wellbeing, as you tended to be. As the years dragged on, the remaining gang had been accustomed to not treat Arthur like he was fragile, which often than not, resulted in him being injured or overworked in some capacity or another.

You knew well enough that John would take care of Arthur and not work him to exhaustion, especially in this blazing heat, but nursing him back to health after things went south all that time ago wasn’t an easy job, and when they were building the house, he had a pretty bad flare up. 

There was a slight sound of wheezing coming from the distance, your ears perked slightly, rushing down the main steps and looking around. You could vaguely see them over by the water pump in the distance.

Arthur was sitting on the ground, John hovering over him, rubbing his back slowly as Arthur coughed and spluttered. You rushed over to them, evidently worried.

“What happened?”

John looked over to you, softly speaking. “He pushed himself too hard.”

“Yeah.” He spluttered. “I’ll be fine.”

You kneeled beside Arthur, rubbing his back as John pulled away to fill the bucket with water to continue their water run, also so Arthur could take a handful and drink some, hopefully hydrating his throat enough to stop him from tearing his oesophagus. 

Water Runs; They were dreaded, the water buckets would get heavy, and in heat like this, you’d need to do the runs multiple times a day to keep the animals hydrated. It got worse if the water troughs were under direct sunlight, the amount depended on the day, the weather and the animals, but the horses needed the extra water this summer, as did the sheep and the cows. All around, it was an awful chore.

Arthur, being the horse lover he is, would be quite adamant in keeping the horses up during the heat, making sure they’re okay. Though, because of the humid air, it was causing his illness to worsen. He slurped up a handful of water, and his coughing let up slightly.

“You need to rest.” You spoke firmly, as John picked up the bucket and walked it over to the remaining troughs, walking over into the sheep pen so he could keep a keen eye on Arthur momentarily. 

“I know, I know.” He groaned. “John and I have a lot of things to do.”

“This is John’s ranch, not yours. Sit down for a bit.”

“But the horses—”

“But nothing. You can care for them later this evening.”

Your voice hung in the air sternly and he pouted like a child, he needed to sit down and rest, to be removed from the hot and muggy air. Once the blazing sun begins to set and the air begins to cool, he would be allowed to go back to his duties. 

John waddled back over with the bucket, filling it up but lingering before he delivered it to the other animals. “Don’t worry, Arthur. I can do this on my own.”

“I want to help.” He spoke sternly, trying to stand up but weakly clutching his chest as he required the aid of you and John to get to his feet.

“How many other chores have you got today?”

John took the conversation away from Arthur, now more than just on board with the concept of letting him sit down and rest for a while. “Just the water, feeding, and milking the cows.”

“I can milk the cows.” Arthur objected.

You sighed, looking over at him, knowing he would rather keel over than be useless. He was a helper; for as long as he’s been known by any of the people on this ranch, he’s always been willing to help people. His need to work died down drastically since he’d been adopted to live on the ranch, but that didn’t mean the lack of drive didn’t eat away at him.

John raised his hands in a defeated shrug. “Let him milk the cows.”

“Fine, but I’m keeping a close eye on him.”

“That’s probably for the best.” John shrugged, with his shoulders this time, grunting as he picked up the bucket, continuing the water run. 

Arthur had a horrendous side eye on him, though he restrained the urge to say something snarky, “I can do this on my own.” He spoke instead, as he began to stride his way to the barn. 

“I know.” You responded, following behind him. 

He seemed upset at the sudden switch of attitude, even after all this time, he wasn’t used to people treating him like he was sick. For the most part, people didn’t, but, for equal parts, he didn’t often tell people that he was sick, instead playing to be super cautious whenever around anyone new.

He took a seat on the stool beside the cow and you stood behind him, leaning against the pillar.

“I’m fine.” He reassured as he slowly milked the cow, the metal panging sound of the bucket being hit with liquid filled the barns silence.

“I know.” You repeated quietly, not really paying attention to the words leaving your mouth. “Jus’ making sure you’re okay, we’re bein’ careful, ‘s all.”

“I don’t need it.”

“I know you want to act like you’re okay, but you’re not. You’ve had a few close calls. We’re just trying to keep you...” You trailed off, not wanting to say the blunt words that weighed heavy. We’re trying to keep you alive.

He stayed silent as John slowly opened the barn doors, entering almost silently and taking the milk pail as it filled to the top.

“I’ll deal with this.”  He said briefly, leaving us quietly to continue our discussion.

Arthur stayed painfully silent as your words lingered heavily in the air, John was quick to disappear into his jobs, and Arthur stayed on the stool, petting the cow softly.

“I get it.” He spoke after a long pause of silence. “I’m sorry, I just...” He rotated his hands in a motion to gesture the continuation of his sentence, not really wanting to finish it himself.

“Just come inside for a bit.” 

He sighed in defeat, standing up from the cow and patting her softly as he removed himself from her side. He really suited this life, and it’s a darn shame that he can’t do too much with it. 

He walked inside slowly, dragging his feet. 

“Don’t get sulky.”

Uncle and Jack returned from Blackwater, pulling up in the wagon. Abigail had left the house to greet them and assist them while John did god-knows-what, something or other to do with the milk. 

Jack and Uncle were having a conversation, or maybe an argument, about something in Blackwater, and they were asking Abigail her opinion as they unpacked the back of the wagon. 

Arthur didn’t necessarily expect anyone to understand the struggles he had to deal with, he was dealt a poor hand, and partially, it was his fault. His days were numbered, and despite the unconditional love and support that everyone offered him, it only did so much into elongating that timer. It was a silent rule that we all knew it’d happen, and once it did, we’d most likely all point fingers on who’s to blame.

“Arthur.” Jack called out, grabbing his attention from his dreary thoughts and tossing him a fresh notebook. It lifted his spirits almost immediately. “I noticed your old one was getting full.” He responded plainly.

“Thanks, kid.” He smiled, still very clearly unwell and needing to rest but his mood had been lifted slightly. He walked through the front door quickly, wanting to get through before they’d be rushing things to and from inside the house. 

He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a cold glass bottle of water, looking over at you begrudgingly as he sat down on the dining room table and flipped through the soft new pages of the notebook.

“Any idea what you’ll do with it yet?”

He shook his head plainly. “No, I might draw some of the horses. Been a while since I drew Boadicea, or Rachel.” He shrugged. “Could draw Neil if he’d stand still.”

“That’s good.”

“Might go up to Owanjila at some point.”

“You could make a day of it.”

“Yeah, I could.”

You let out an exasperated sigh. “Can you stop doing that?” You cursed at him, agitated by how he was acting. “Don’t get upset at me over this.”

“I was fine.” He gritted his teeth.

“You were on the ground struggling to breathe.” You bit back, emphasising every word. He didn’t respond, just glancing away from you. He knew you were right, but didn’t want to admit it since it was inherently showing more weakness. “You...” You trailed off briefly.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, interjecting the conversation. “Jus’.. Don’t wanna be useless.”

“You’re not useless, you’re sick.”

“I know but—”

“Don’t you even try to compare yourself to Uncle.” Arthur stayed silent as you hit the nail on the head. “You did enough work today. Relax. Draw, journal, something. You have a few hours until the sun sets.”

“Fine.”

“I’ll make a deal with you.”

“What?” He was beginning to come across as overly defensive, though softened into a defeated sigh as you tried to compromise.

“Abigail gets angry at me, she don’t like how I do the dishes or clean clothes.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll pro’lly try to help with the yard work. You can do more with less hassle.”

“I guess.” He shrugged.

“Weather forecasts think that it might rain sometime this week, means less work here, we can go to Owanjila.” He wasn’t too keen on it being babysat but he accepted it nonetheless.

“That’d be kinda nice...” He trailed off.

“We can do some fishin’ so they don’t think we’re bein lazy.” It was clear who the ‘they’ was in that sentence, which made him laugh in a silent exhale. “You can draw some of the scenery, set up a mini camp and just.. Have a day off. Hows that?”

“But—”

“Stop. You need to stop.”

“I’m bored!” He said, clearly agitated and exhausted. “I need something to do, ‘nd everyone jus’ wants me to rest but I gotta do somethin’ or I feel like shit.”

“I just suggested something.” I said sternly.

He looks around the dining area, chewing the inside of his cheek as he considers the idea. He sucked on his teeth slightly.

“Tch... Fine.” He admitted, like a defeated child.

There’s a long moment of silence, and you reach across the table to hold his hand. He continues to avoid eye contact, and his hand doesn’t hold yours back. 

Arthur’s voice is barely above a mumble; so sulky for a man so strong, or so he claims to be. Your eyes flickered between his gaze and him, waiting for him to speak. Arthur, desperate to look literally anywhere else, found himself staring at John’s taxidermied squirrel. If you didn’t know any better, one would probably assume he’s admiring the finest piece of art the 1900s has to offer. He seems to linger on the concept for a while, which worries you. You can’t help but wonder what’s going on in that mind of his.

The silence blares in your ears for a bit too long. Clearing his throat, Arthur looked you in the eyes.

“We’ll see how things go.”

[fatuismooches]

FUCK DAMN IT i have another angst im so sorry but its okay i... made it possible for a happy ending dw!!!! im finally talking about fragile!reader again

it has been months since you've fallen back into a vegetative state. teetering at the edge of life and death. inside a massive glass capsule that glowed blue as you float inside, preserving you, keeping you away from death. a futile attempt but... it's a must. he cannot work on you like he did before after his decision to kill off all of his segments...

his laboratory never felt so empty. only him, the buzzing of the machinery that kept you alive, and alone in his thoughts.

dottore hasn't been doing well... he hasn't showed up in meetings, nor accepted any visitation from other harbingers. he couldn't be bothered by them at this moment, not when he has almost lost you and now you're slipping from his fingertips.

going through your old stuff for comfort, he stumbles upon a very ancient contraption, probably something he made before for you. it was... a recording device it seems, though it is so outdated he had to reverse engineer it, as well as make another device that could actually run the recording inside it of. he didn't mind at all, it kept him busy, it kept him distracted.

and as soon as he pressed play, he regretted it.

-------------

the screen was nothing but white and black fuzz, white noise emanating from the recording, before it slowly began gaining color, and subtle form.

"gods, why does he make things always so complicated- this thing is so poorly engineered, did he really make this as a gift for me?"

your voice, high-pitched and young. annoyed as the recording glitches, loud thumps coming from the screen. the recording miraculously got fixed, albeit a bit glitched.

"there you go!" you smile, pointing the device at your face. "so, zandik got this for my birthday. it was very sweet of him actually, to make me something so cool!" you hum happily, walking toward somewhere the recording wouldn't see, "gonna use this to record some shit that happens on our everyday lives, so i can look back and laugh at everything happened when i graduate."

and so the recording showed dottore as such.

from your bickering, walking to the akademiya, recordings of his younger self rambling about something, funny moments like a concoction he made exploded and covered him with pink dust, experiments dottore long forgotten, your smiles, your laughs, you simply talking about your day, or ranting about your frustrations, to you talking about how much you loved him...

then, the recordings grew shorter. less lively. slow.

like you had when your illness first started showing signs.

the recordings grew less energetic, but more calm and soothing. whispers of sweet nothings, loving confessions, soft giggles, coughing here and there, holding his hand and calling him so many sweet nicknames, the view outside your window, birds flying and flora dancing along the wind...

then the last recording plays, and it was you, holding an instrument, with an iv drip attached to your arm.

dottore remembers this. it was when you first passed out due to your illness while you were out on an exhibition and almost didn't make it back to the akademiya for medical attention.

"hi zandik," your voice, still soothing despite the rasp in it, "for a while... i wanted to make you something... it was supposed to be a device but... i could barely hold my tools without dropping them after a while..." a small sad laugh slips past your lips.

"so i'll just give you this. something i made in my spare time... considering i've been doing nothing but rest on my bed."

and it was a song. with you tapping to pens onto a metal surface, a slow and steady rhythm, just enough for you to be able to play it with ease. it started off with a sweet hum of a tune he recognized, a tune you've been singing ever since you were young, and then you sang.

he could tell that you were struggling, shoulders shaking and taking in sharp shallow breaths in between your singing. but you powered through, singing with a heavenly voice.

it was all about him. and how much you loved him, how much you adored him and wished to love him even more. to hold him in your arms and call him yours forever and more, to kiss him, to hug him. you listened everything you liked about him, how you felt before you confessed, how you felt when you were with him, how you wanted to be part of his lips.

forever and more.

then you ended with a cough, blood dripping down the corner of your lips, face contorted in pain.

"ah... that was the best i could do..." you say sadly, turning away from the recording device, too ashamed to look. "im not sure if you'll ever see this, but... i really did put my heart and soul..." you look back with a smile, eyes teary and glimmering. "i trust that you will cure me, no matter what. and i hope you know i appreciate it, for everything you do to me. i know that you love me more than you'll ever admit, and i hope you know that i'll love you, even in this wretched fragile state...

you're my world zandik, i love you so, so much.

and if... if i pass on... please, i beg of you.

take care of yourself, i wouldn't want to see my lover become so miserable.

if you ever need reassurance, play my song. i like to think it's everything how i feel for you in a nutshell.

see you, my love."

-------------

some fatui soldiers, especially the new recruits, think that a section of the palace was haunted. specifically dottore's.

they say they hear the singing of a voice, it echoed through the silent, empty halls, for days, never stopping, only looping.

it was soothing, at first. before it became haunting.

it never stopped.

it just kept singing.

singing and singing and singing, filling the silence in the cold, cold palace.

and as you sing, dottore would stare onto your sleeping body. inside a machine, floating, with death looming behind his back.

he will save you, no matter what.

perhaps then he could hear you sing the song you made all those years ago from your lips.

sorry :) promise no more angst next time ,, im glad u like my writing smooches i love yours too,, ty for indulging my insanity 😭😭

KAIIII OH GOSH IT JUST KEPT GETTING MORE AND MORE SAD, IM CRYING 😭 You know what... i give you permission to keep sending me angst... it's so good but in a heart-stomping-crushing way 😍 I WILL ALWAYS INDULGE YOUR SANITY 😤😤❤️

Dottore wishes he was smarter.

It's an odd thing for a man such as himself to wish, in fact, him "wishing" for anything was entirely strange, for he was certainly one of the most knowledgeable people in all of Teyvat. But looking at you, having regressed back into a coma, he doubts it. He has paid a price for everything he's learned, and none of it has bothered him, yet none of it has been helpful in this endeavor. He's tried everything in all of his great minds, yet nothing. Dottore wonders what would the ultimate price to pay for knowledge would be, but he quickly acknowledges that he wouldn't care if it meant finally saving you.

He remembers the day when you simply fell back asleep. Dottore had thought that you would stick beside him for a while longer at least. To skip around the lab looking around, to bother him to take breaks. But one day it simply stopped. Zandik felt empty. Wasn't centuries of loneliness enough? Just when he thought he could revel in your company again, it was over in the blink of an eye? And he was truly alone. No longer did the thoughts of his other segments buzz in his mind or the lab. Without them, there was far too much to be done. Only him, you, and work existed. But really, you were no longer here.

With them and you gone, he realizes how truly tedious it is to be a Harbinger. No longer could he send a segment to the meetings or extra work, and no longer did he have you for comfort. But he doesn't particularly care right now, he'll just pass most of it off to random agents. You are far more important, yet no matter how much time he pours into his research, he seems no step closer to healing you.

Zandik decides to enter your room. He'd already gone through his own items of yours multiple times. It was completely untouched, the bed made up without a wrinkle, shelves collecting dust. It was very you, having planned out the decoration yourself with the clones helping you. He doesn't realize how much stuff you have stuffed into room, though he recognizes most of it as you always liked to show him your things. Until he encounters something that he knows belongs to an era long forgotten. The recording device looked as if it had gone through war, he almost thought it was broken until he decided to look more into it and give it a try using his own technology. If this was something of yours, it deserved that kind of treatment, anyway.

Zandik doesn't know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. As soon as he sees your face and voice come into frame, his smile drops. Your smile and words, so happy. Albeit a bit annoyed and sassy, but he loved that. He had almost forgotten what your voice sounded when it was like that, for you struggled to speak in that tone now. You're wearing the Akademiya's uniform, your mouth grinning from end to end. He faintly recognizes the dorm as the background, neat and tidy as you liked to keep it. A part of him knows he needs to turn it off, to turn it off right now, or else. But he's transfixed.

He doesn't know how much time goes by, but he watches it. All of it. Some of it is complete silence of you literally just recording him (he has no clue how he didn't notice some of this stuff). Some of it is you simply making silly faces at the device while his younger self's voice yells out in the background at you. Some of it is him cussing out former professors and students as you try to hide your cackles. Some of it is you holding him as he slept in your arms. And some of it is just utter nonsense and idle chit-chat. But all of his senses are tuned into it.

But it was easy to recognize the change. It had started slowly. No longer were you bouncing around all excitedly. The backgrounds of the videos were no longer very unique. It was mostly in the dorm, the Akademiya, or the forest on good days, the only places where your body could take you during those times. Your voice had grown more quiet, you struggled to quip back and banter with him like you used to. It seemed like you focused more on tender moments with him than before. Yet in one instance you accidentally dropped the device with a huge crash and a string of curses flew out your mouth, then soft apologies to him followed.

Zandik's face is expressionless when the last recording plays, but he is unsettled by how vividly he remembers that particular day. He was... scared for you. It leaves a horrible taste on his tongue, both the incident and the feeling. As you speak, he feels both dread and interest as to what your words will be.

And you sing. Out of all things, you sing. Now that he thinks about it, he remembers you scribbling onto paper with pen quite frequently when you were bedridden, but he didn't think too much of it since he was already too preoccupied with how he was going to save you. So you were composing. About him of all things. And you were in pain, so much pain from merely singing. And yet you looked happy, you were on the verge of hacking your lungs out but there was still a soft smile on your face, as you professed your love for him unabashedly and proudly. And even at the end, when you're crying and panting from all the effort, you're smiling. Normally, he likes seeing you smile, but this kind of smile is not one of them. If it weren't for his gloves, he would have surely drawn blood by now from how hard he was balling his fists.

Yes, he did love you more than he'd ever admit. And that was why this was not the end.

The older Fatui tell stories of when the second Harbinger's clones used to occupy the palace and lab, running about and bickering with each other. Yet the new ones can only tell tales of an eerie voice echoing throughout the corridor. The voice wasn't professional. But it was soothing, nice, good. But hearing it over and over again was starting to cause the regular agents to freak out.

No one could ever find out what or who it was, or where exactly it came from. Many came to accept that it was a normal occurrence. Especially Dottore. At least with this tape, he could never forget what your sweet voice was like, no matter if a century or two or three or more passed by again. He had every last word memorized in his mind, but it wasn't enough. Of course it wasn't, when the real deal was lying asleep in front of him, but it was a sufficient and lovely replacement for now.

As every morning and night passes by, a single thought constantly makes its way into his mind - 'I will save you.' And then maybe, you'll be able to sing that song without coughing throughout. A perfect rendition. Though, he would like to see if you could release a newer edition of it, considering how much he has changed.

I AM EXPLODING BC OF U KAI 😭😔😨😨🫠🫠

[leftoverbriocheloaf]

Fanfic Writer Interview!!

@xerx thank you so much for tagging me!! I'm honored and v excited to answer <3333

How many works do you have on AO3?

Right now I have 29 works on AO3!! That's kinda crazy to me just because I only started posting last summer and didn't think it would go anywhere,, but almost 30 and still going strong!!

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Language Barrier: I'm genuinely shocked this got so popular?? I'm happy to know that ppl love the "didn't think you could understand my language" troupe as much as I do!! It's one of my shorter ranpoe stories at 2.3k (I like to write longer fics bc I hate myself apparently) but I love it dearly <3

Interesting?: I loved writing this fic!! I am insane about them and continue to be!! It's also ranpoe (I wonder if you can guess the ships I like,,) and also my second longest fic ever at 32.6k. It's a high school au bc I love them living happy lives and being normal (ASAGIRI PLEASE) with a healthy(?) amount of rivalry on Poe's part! It's also one of the few fics where I bounce around in POV, which is something I love doing but find really hard

Good Shot: What can I say. I saw Poe w a sniper and went HOT what who said that. not me. But I also decided that he and Atsushi would make great friends (which led me to deciding they're siblings and writing a whole story about that) but I'm just a sucker for Poe adopting random members of the ADA by accident. Ranpo is just really proud of his bf. This one is also shorter at 2.8k but I got to write a really cool (totally not biased) fight scene so it's one of my favs

Feelings Are Difficult, Even For Geniuses: Guys this was one of my first fics I swear I've gotten better at naming them (I have not). 9.0k words of mostly Poe getting beaten up I have no words,, It's a bit more graphic (violent not sexy unless youre into that idk) than most of my stuff and definitely one of the more angsty ones, but it has a happy ending so dw he's fine

Henna Berries and Padisarahs: Ok this is where I shamelessly admit I'm a genshin player and while I haven't played in. forever. the sumeru quartet grabbed my heart and threw it out the window. Cyonari for the win. 5.2k and soulmates!!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do!! I love comments SO much y'all have no idea how much they mean to me,, They've made me so much more confident in my work and eager to share my stuff and I really appreciate it!! I try and respond as fast as possible (I have responded to a comment within five minutes before and I still wonder if that commenter thinks Im a freak) but sometimes I'll hold off until I can finish the next chapter (if applicable). I also am a huge yapper (if these responses didn't make that clear) so I love talking to you guys <3

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Tbh I don't really write angsty endings?? I might eventually, but they make me so sad :') Which. they're supposed to. I'd have to say Feelings are Difficult, Even for Geniuses only bc the fic itself is angsty and it's implied that Poe is gonna have to work through some shit emotionally after the events of it? It might be An Author, a Raccoon, and a Reaper though.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

This is gonna be hard bc every single fic is a happy ending tbh.. Give it a Shot! is an octopath traveler ii fic that I loved writing the ending for (guys you should read fics from the octopath fandom they know whats up) but For the Hell of It might be my favorite ending that I've written!!

Do you write crossovers?

I haven't written any crossovers,, Mainly bc I feel like the fandoms I like are all just too different? I haven't found any ways to mush them together but maybe I'll write one eventually!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope! Everyone's been really nice :)

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sorry y'all I'm a sex-repulsed ace so it probably won't happen? I mean never say never tbf but seeing as my face literally burns when I write two characters kiss it probably won't be soon lmfao

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? I hope not?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No :( I'm hoping to get good enough at Spanish to translate my own fics though!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! But not any that I've posted,, I'm working with my irl friends on a few different fics, but they're still in progress :)

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Guys i can't choose. don't do this to me

(ranpoe, criminos, sskk, kohiiai, cyonari, xingyun, chiakana, dan heng/march/stelle (idk the name) are all favs tho)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Ok one of my favorite fics that I'm writing is a fic about Higuchi getting amnesia before the events of the main series and slowly getting her memories back but finding herself outside of akutagawa its like 50 pages so far but im not even done w the guild arc.. im hoping i can finish it but we'll see!! I just think Higuchi deserves love and a MC moment <3

I also have a fic where Poe uses the book after they've lost to send himself back in time to try and fix everything! But (in my fic at least) Arahabaki is outside of the rules of the book, so Chuuya also retains his memories,, I just think they could be a very interesting duo and have a lot of potential as begrudging allies (and guys. mafia poe. guys) but it's very long and idk if I'll be able to see it through (T-T)

What are your writing strengths?

I think I write dialogue well! I have trouble working through certain characters, but I like writing two really smart people bc I have to strike a balance between having them not mention things (bc they're obvious to them) and still letting the reader know whats going on.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a lot of trouble continuing fics bc I have so many things I want to write that I usually overwhelm myself trying to string plot points together,, Scenery is also SO hard for me to write idk why (@xerx we're opposites lmao <3)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it can be done well, but I usually prefer to italicize and just say in the notes that a character is speaking in another language so readers can understand what they're saying. However, if you're writing a story where you don't want the reader to understand either, I think it can be really interesting!

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Honkai Star Rail,, and Dungeon Meshi (farceille my loves)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I think it's a tie between For the Hell of It and A Hop, Skip, and Jump (Back to the Castle)! I love my aus, if you couldn't tell. But royalty aus will always have a special place in my heart (and that fic is certainly not the last royalty au i'll be writing for ranpoe) <3

Tagging: @jeaninthetrees, @amythecinnabunny (if you have an ao3 and I didn't tag you you should lmk so I can :)) )

[dvskf4llz]

Hello! Could I request a fluffy ImpulseSV x gender neutral reader where Impulse is trying to take reader on a romantic date but everything keeps going wrong (if you have different ideas then it's ok!) :]

Also Could I be 🍄 anon?

I love this idea anon!! Ofc you can be 🍄 anon :]

'Sup guys I'm back 👍

Alone time

ImpulseSV x GN!Reader fluff

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This oneshot will contain the following: Pure fluffiness, a tad bit of stuff that you may not like such as cheesy couple stuff and kind of getting dragged away from dates

Nothing too extreme so dw! Now, on with the oneshot!

(Here's a backstory between you and impulse first :D)

Back when you first joined Hermitcraft, you had instantly became interested in Impulse once you met him.

You guys had nice and interesting conversations, you both shared a lot of interests. You guys had a really good bond with each other, of course the other hermits noticed that and began planning immediately.

A few months after you first met Impulse, a few of the fellow hermits had encouraged Impulse to confess to you since he did actually like you. The hermits did end up convincing him, so he did.

He set up a whole 'friendly meetup' for both of you, saying that he just wanted to hangout for a while. You felt a bit suspicious by it but went with it anyways

You'd arrive at the coordinates that Impulse had given you to go to; As you looked up, you were greeted with a beautiful scenery. Impulse would be standing in front of you with flowers in his hands, a slightly nervous smile on his face. He'd then bashfully confess his feelings to you, his face being all red as he waited for your reaction. After Impulse was done, you would then finally admit it as well that you had feelings for him and well everything else went well. You both continued the date, and soon enough officially a couple! Some of the Hermits would be surprised and would be happy for both of you, acting as if they didn't expect this at all when really they did.

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Now recently, you and Impulse had been busy with different things. Building things, doing favors for the Hermits, having different projects that required a lot of time and etc. You and Impulse barely got time to spend time with each other alone and in peace, and that lead to both of you missing each other.

Soon enough, Impulse would then think of clearing all his plans for one day of the week to bring you on a romantic date. He decided Saturday could be idea, he also made sure to check that you didn't have any plans on that day. Thankfully, you didn't. And so, you both waited patiently and excitedly for the day to come because you both really needed a break for once.

And so as the day came, you both were even more excited to just spend time with each other on a cute little picnic date that Impulse had set up just before the time that both of you would leave. When the time finally came for when you and Impulse were going to leave for the date, as soon as Impulse saw you he was absolutely mesmerized by your beauty.

"Well, you are looking mighty fine! Care to join me, m'lady?" Impulse would say in a jokingly posh tone, holding his hand out to you whilst you let out a small chuckle

"Why aren't you just a gentleman? Of course I shall join you." You'd reply back aswell with a fancy tone, wanting to play along with the whole posh/fancy tone thing. And so, you took Impulse's hand and you both went off hand in hand. Both of you thought it would just be a normal and wholesome little date that you would have, but oh boy did you both get proven wrong.

As soon as you guys would start with the date, Impulse would get asked to do something that was really urgent. He had to excuse himself for a while, hoping it wouldn't take long. You were a bit hesitant and felt a bit sad, but understood and let Impulse do what he needed to do first. So, you waited for him for about twenty minutes before you started to get a bit worried. But thankfully, Impulse would arrive back just a minute after you began worrying. You then both continues on with the date, doing the usual cheesy stuff couples would do on dates until you got asked to do something that was important by one of the Hermits. Same thing happened again, again and again.. When you both finally were able to continue, lots of things went wrong. Both of you would still get dragged into doing stuff the Hermits would ask for you guys to do, food getting stolen by critters and just many more things that had kind of ruined the date. You both even had to do something seperate that would take a while to do, by the time you were both done it was already late evening.

With both of you extremely tired, you guys just decided to just have a cuddle date in bed. The first bit of the cuddling session was mostly filled with both you and Impulse apologizing to each other for constantly getting pulled away from the date, Impulse was definitely the one who apologized the most since he was the one who set up the whole date. Soon enough, you both would end up playfully arguing about who said sorry the most

"No, I said sorry more than you did!"

"Nuh uh."

"The heck you mean 'Nuh uh'?"

"I apologized the most and I know I'm right soo!"

"No, I did!"

The playful arguing went on for a while before you both decided that you were both equally very apologetic about what happened, though atleast one of you would still be murmuring about how you/he were/was right. After that, you both just started giving each other little kisses and maybe soft nuzzles against each other aswell. Soon enough, the both of you would fall asleep peacefully in each other's arms; holding each other close with soft smiles on your faces..

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And yeah! That's it for this oneshot! This is not fully proof read as I'm writing this at almost 12 am and I am tired- but of course I didn't go to sleep yet just so that I could finish this for you guys :D

Hope you enjoyed! Always remember to take care of yourself and don't feel forced to do anything! Do things at your own pace <3

Much love as always, goodbye dear reader! See you on the next oneshot ;D

[notthestarwar]

👀so… undead fox you say?

omg thank you for asking! sorry it took me so long to reply to this lol

ok i love this story its so twisty.

ok so it begins with this

'an old evil sleeps in the heart of Coruscant. there is something wrong with the coruscant guard'

this is from ch1 (it's a red herring dw)

hound finds the body of a clone and it becomes apparent that this is far from the first. the guard keep finding these bodies and theyre very sad about it but also being kind of shifty? like. they arent telling anyone outside the guard about it and theyre kinda dealing with it quietly.

meanwhile, the guard are trying to deal with hushing up another problem. theres something very wrong with Fox. he is acting kind of creepy. vacant and he's always staring off in to the distance with glazed eyes and theyre having to round him up and keep an eye on him at all times but he always manages to escape anyway. he's always talking about hearing the whispers of coruscant and saying bizzare shit. theyre trying to get him to keep his helmet on to hide that there is clearly something up with him but he's just not cooperating. he isnt really doing his job anymore and he also wont look after himself at all. theyre having to make him shower and clean his teeth and stuff.

pretty much: the guard is stressed as hell trying to keep this all under wraps. theyre having to dodge calls from foxs batchmates. the calls turn in to visits. theyre still finding dead clones round every corner on coruscant and going to a strange amount of effort to hide the deaths. you begin to get the idea that maybe… maybe its fox killing these clones.

eventually, cody turns up at the guard headquarters just as theyre taking in a dead clone. and. surprise! the dead clone is fox.

the story comes out, it turns out ALL the dead clones are fox. It started with the chancellor was sending fox on these weird missions. he came back from one of them different, (possesed) and ever since then the chancellor keeps killing him. every time, fox just reports in like normal after he wakes up. the chancellor is disturbed as hell. he cant find any way to use fox, fox is just a liability. if the jedi find out about this possessed clone, theyre going to start asking questions palpatine doesnt want asked. he's worried fox could be traced back to him. but heres the funny part. he is weirdly unnerved by fox. he's a bit of a control freak and he hates how out of control this situation is with fox and fox is generally…very creepy. in palpatines eyes its like. you kill your employee and the next morning he's standing at your desk like nothing has changed. he's unnerving!!! palpatine is so creeped out by fox that he doesnt want to imprison him so he just ends up with this tunnel vision trying all these different ways to kill him like. it'll work this time.

once cody finds out they go to the jedi and tell all. the jedi are like. right we need evidence so we can take down the chancellor. quin starts working on the case, but his proximity to new fox results in him being slightly possesed himself and falling. now they are weird and creepy together.

the whole point of the story is about the guard grieving someone whos still there. meanwhile, fox is trying to figure out who he is now (he eventually gets more of a hold over the posession and starts living again but hes a whole new person now.) while watching the guard mourn someone he doesnt remember how to be. he cant be that for them. his old self is a stranger.

its also about how trauma can make you worse. he knows that they all miss who he was but he's changed. quinlan is made worse by fox and neither of them really care. quinlan is happy to embrace this new him now hes fallen. theyre both making each other worse but they do love each other. the sith spirit iteself has been changed by trauma, it turns out that it was the spirit of a child thats been trapped in this sith temple for ages, slowly losing what it is to be human. the spirit possesses him both to save itself and to save fox. so the whole story is about these grey areas of morality. theyre not doing the right thing, nobody is, but at the same time its kind of understandable why??? its a mixed bag of fun ethical dilemas pretty much.

I've done a lot of thinking about the vibes of this and I've assigned a quote to each chapter like I did with dead from the beginning so that's been fun

This is the ending I've got planned. Fox and quin go off together as these new, worse versions of themselves. The guard and the jedi struggle to understand cause they're stuck on the ppl that Fox and quin were

[masked-and-doomed]

NEW ME NEW INTRO!!

Hello, I'm Kat/Kats (or Yomotsu), welcome!! I am so normal about my boyfriends.

Please feel free to ask me about my OC, UG!! Hell, even cooler if you do it in a roleplay kinda way.

Other places you can find me:

@katsdoodles - art blog/archive.

Discord: thatonekats

👆 just in case. Tumblr explodes. Talk to me if you wanna ig (I am not good at conversing. So. Keep that in mind.)

Ao3: ThatOneKat2

👆 Might as well have it here. I've been more in a writing mood this year.

Twitter: @ThatOneKats

I have a twitter now I fucking guess. A bit of bonus content there (a little bit more of unhinged thoughts) but you're not missing much if you don't go there.

UG RP twt: @LIBRARIAMYLAMB

If you wanna see little bits of UG musing about go there.

--

Suspected BPD, have been diagnosed autistic. You may see vent posts. Every now and then. Check the tagging system to block em out.

I am deeply in love and sickly affectionate for my 4 darlings. They're my boyfriends, girlfriends, besties- our relationship? Is uhh whatever man. It's love. It's love.

First two being Yomotsu Hirasaka (pfp), and Takao Hiyama. They are my most intense hyperfixation of 2 years.! They are from Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. An anime/manga which I don't really like.

The next beloved is Pocketcat! He is from Fear and Hunger. He's. A silly :) There's so much intrigue of him aaaghhh ough he is so sad.

Last one !! Faust. From Guilty Gear. He's a. He's somebody. Got him on Valentine's Day. He makes me a different kind of ill. Alas, this doctor cannot cure me.

They're 💙 just like me fr. I love them. URL is them btw. Masked men, doomed.

(comfortable with sharing and gushing together with everyone. I don't mind if you send or @ me in stuff that has Faust shipped with someone, (I like appreciating art of Faust in any form :] ) just know I'm uncomfy with all (canon x canon) Faust ships except Happy Chaos, meaning that I won't talk about them (eg., fau.slayer) together.)

I am. Also obsessed with my lambs as well. (The Conclave, consisting of Axus, Libraria, Baldias, and Chronus) They mean a lot to me. I wish to give them happiness they didn't have the time nor place for. You will see me reblog lambs and tag it as them. Feel free to send me lamb pictures, effectively beaming Conclave to me.

NOTE! I do sometimes post about needing my darlings to kill themselves, or wish great harm upon them. I will not always have positive things to say about them. I am a hater as much as I am a lover. (Not the "I want him dead" (lovingly) (though I do have sadism and would enjoy killing them for the fun of it), I have genuine hatred towards them all (Excluding Libraria) and I loathe their existence.

(if I had to guess, this is the bpd doing its thing)

--

Yayaya tagging system time!

#ah rambling - general yapping tag

#[MN/funger] rambling - ramblings of MN or funger

#[MN/funger] bangers - memes/shitposts of that fandom

#oc time - posts about the little OCs I have (currently empty. DW about it)

#unnamed girlie - posts about my self insert. (UG for short)

#UG spoilers - in case you wanna go through the UG tag but not be spoiled about the endings and such.

#guy in my head - headcanon posts

#doodle tag - stuff not high effort enough to put into my art blog goes here

#reblog moment - reblogs! So you can filter them out

#lovesick - yandere / obsessive behaviour

#gatito - kitty tag.

#belalang beloveds - grasshopper tag. Belalang is grasshopper in Malay :)

#art save - images I wanna draw (typically memes I wanna draw with my guys)

#art reference material - reblogs of posts with helpful art stuff

#general reference material - reblogs of posts with whatever that isn't art. Not really 'general' perse but I don't have another word

#epic meowtual art - art by the meowtuals!

#ask game - reblogs of ask game posts

#ask game answer - answers to asks abt the ask game

#hello asker - ask tag

#tag game - reblog of posts that are meant to have you tag other ppl to continue the chain

#negative. And #/negative are used for vent posts. Make those sometimes.

#hxrny aroace on main - (mind the x) epic posts where I feel feelings for some characters (carnally)

#fanfic shit idfk - when I post about my fanfiction. (Used to be for talking abt fanfic I'm reading, older posts like that still have this tag)

#girl what you on?? - posts where I'm in some sort of delirium, talking to my beloveds. And being ill about them.

#shit I send to fictional guy - posts I'd send to fictional characters. Will prob have their name tagged too.

#unnamed oc core - wow it's just like him fr. Many things will be tagged this btw. They are not okay. (Same person as UG jsyk)

#pocketkitty - for posts I don't want in the pocket.cat tag or reblogging posts that are like pocket.cat. (only applies to him everyone else gets tagged with their name in posts that are like them)

#robot nephew - similar to pocketkitty just that it's. Mr robo.t K.y

#silly doctor man - I fell into gui.lty g.ear and now I'm in love with this bozo. When I don't want it to be in the main tag. Yes like pocketkitty and robo bo.

#mister omelette - guy that asks which came first the chicken or the egg. Answers himself, it's omelette.

Liveblog tags:

#mask quartet - fucking stupid masked bitches trying to save humanity gone wrong

#spoon cloak - that fucking mantis that I hate

Guilty gear: #pride in my gears: sign, #pride in my gears: rev, #pride in my gears: overture, #pride in my gears: strive

Bleach anime: #not drinking bleach (from Arrancar arc and onwards)

--

Tag me in stuff you think I like!! I don't mind! Or like tag games.

There's also a side blog. For degenerate thoughts of mine. If you want it just give a DM ig. (On the harder and disturbing side of kinks though, so warning) (also sometimes post my own drawn pornography there)

--

Pictures i want here

(This applies mostly to Faust. Sorry not sorry Faust. I will give you the worst horrors.)

(This is me any time someone mentions Conclave. I wish I could say I was exaggerating. I'll just say that Conclave has spiked my libido and I've been the fastest to draw suggestive art of them and write smut of them than of any other character I've fallen in love with. I need them carnally. And I tell you, it is a need.)

[torchickentacos]

15 Questions!

Tagged by @gaycey-sketchit !!!!! Thank you so much for the tag, and I loved reading yours! Long post, sorry lol.

1. Are you named after anyone? Nope! Not to my knowledge, anyways. Though if my mom told me that she named me after Taylor Hawkins from Foo Fighters, I would not be shocked.

2. When was the last time you cried? I think monday? I cry really often, at every single emotion. Happy? I'm going to cry about it. Laughing? My high school theatre class would always point out when they made me cry laugh. Sad? ABSOLUTELY crying about that. I didn't cry but I DID tear up yesterday because I was really happy about something nice someone said to me.

3. Do you have kids? Nope, and no intention of having them. Regardless of my desire to or not (usually not, being the oldest of four is enough for me), my health is not, and never will be, in an acceptable position or ability to go through that, and I've accepted that for a while now.

4. What sports do you play/have you played? As a kid, I played soccer and did gymnastics! In middle school, I BRIEFLY did fencing. My mom told me that when I was fencing is the only time she's ever seen me look truly graceful (lmao, love my mom dw. She's right). Then health stuff came up and I had to stop, but fencing just came as easily to me as breathing did. I always wonder where I'd be if I could have stuck with it. Nothing's ever immediately clicked with me the way fencing did, but it's hell on my joints.

5. Do you use sarcasm? Sometimes, usually when I'm annoyed which isn't TOO often. Or if I'm being hyperbolic for a joke.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people? No clue. I guess their demeanor- if they seem happy or not, if they look stressed, how they're feeling (or how I perceive them as feeling, I guess).

7. What's your eye color? Blue! My friend swears up and down that they're kind of green. I think she's colorblind.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings!!! I am not built for scary movies. I can do some buzzfeed unsolved and I can watch markiplier play indie horror games but that's kind of my limit. I LOVE some types of horror, but my anxiety does not. I will be paranoid for a month after.

9. Any talents? I can play music by ear. Give me a guitar and a random song and ten minutes at most!

10. Where were you born?

11. What are your hobbies? Landscape/scenery art (also other art but it's much harder), writing, playing guitar (used to play piano too but not well. I also own a ukulele that I'm bad at, but generally I can play something on any instrument you give me). But mostly, I pick up and put down hobbies all the time. I've dabbled in crochet, embroidery, sewing, painting, archery, coding, needle felting, gardening, cooking, a little bit of everything. Never long enough to get good at most of them, though. I get bored too quickly.

12. Do you have any pets? A lovely husky (shelter girlie <3) and a gecko! And, for the gecko, a bunch of crickets at any given point in time, which I guess counts because I have to take care of them, too.

13. How tall are you? 5'2 and a half. 5'4 with my doc martens.

14. Favorite subject in school? Assuming lunch doesn't count, I was a theatre girlie. Assuming THAT doesn't count, English. I liked English because if I didn't have an answer, I could just bullshit one, but I usually did enjoy it and had real answers. I'll tell you why the curtains are blue and why they're the specific fabric they are and what the rest of the room means- if I'm interested, anyways.

15. Dream job? Oh boy, uh. Still trying to figure that out. DREAM job, like, without worrying about money or my physical ability to do it? Pro fencer, but I gave up on that a looong time ago. I genuinely believe I could have done it if my knee hadn't gone to shit at fourteen. I'd love to work in a record store or a music store, though, which is a little more in-reach.

Tagging: Anyone who sees this, lmk if you do it from this post!! But also, NO PRESSURE AT ALL but @soulsilversprings @nowandevermore @lostlegendaerie @mozukumi !!! Also whoever else wants to, I get nervous to tag people so assume you're tagged, too!

[raysoleil]

helllooooooooo !!!

here to respond to ur comment and react to ur fic!!!

first of all, i enjoyed it!! u did a good job, dont ever doubt that! writing is hard :3

so the biggest thing i noticed is grammar and punctuation errors, which is super fine and chill bc u said english isnt ur first language, and im not gonna gatekeep the english language lol. and dw, english speakers also struggle with that stuff i see it ALL the time, so i hope u dont think im attacking u for that. its something new writers all have to learn, so just take a little extra time to look at that. something helpful to do is to read it out loud, that way you can hear the natural pauses (period) or hesitations (comma) that should be there. u dont have to study a book of grammar, but look at things you already read and feel out where the author places certain punctuations.

beyond that....

something i really liked was how you built tension and suspicion between terzo and omega. you did a very good job with the emotions, with making it clear how scared terzo was and reluctant omega was. it was very foreboding and excellent.

another thing i liked was that final scene. so sad ): brutal that they made omega watch fr, like he needed to be put in his place, reminded of his role, punished. how intriguing indeed...... it makes me want to know why he was dragged down there to watch, which would make a very interesting part 2.

ill give you one thing to work on for ur next project! focus on pacing. take your time with the emotions, with the actions. you do a good job with letting the dialogue speak, but you should add more detail in the transitions, in the descriptions. pacing is hard, but the best thing to do is just let the scene play in ur head and describe as many details as u can see. to me, writing is like watching a movie in my head, and reading is letting your audience see it too :>

dont forget to keep writing! practice is the best tool for improving!

<3

Thank you so much! I've gotten told about my grammar before and I honestly have improved since then.

I'm glad you liked how I depicted emotions and the tension! I'm really happy about your feedback and will immediately look at it!

About the part 2 I honestly think I could make one where it says what and why they did that to Omega BUT I'm not sure since it was a creative rush that caused me to write this fic, i barely get those anymore haha!

I hope we can keep looking into each other's content! I'm so happy I could jump right now! When I saw you followed me and also responded to my comments and all that I genuinely was really excited!

As a small content creator that obviously has just started I feel like this is such a huge goal completed and I thank you immensely for that.

Please keep doing your amazing content! (Can't wait to see how Omega and Terzo end on the little monster fic)

[zzencat]

Literally forgot to add: emoji 🧙‍♀️ sun sign Leo, initial: S.M

Questions (organized, I wrote them in a big long paragraph earlier)

Is the business venture I want to pursue the right one right now? And will I be okay (financially and stuff)

Will that creep leave me and my family alone?

What's my future spouse like?

Bye now!

hi sm!!! if you haven’t read a novel recently, get ready for a bit of reading 😅 other than that, thank you for participating! (ive also seen your other ask so dw)

ok so i have wild news my friend. i don’t recommend you going down this path, even though you’d have a lot of pride in your work here. if you want to be financially ok, this is not it. you’re being asked to have a lot of strength if you do. you’ll be in financial stress and overwhelmed. furthermore, you’ll be faced with a bit of oppression and competitiveness- overall, just people treating you badly. you could be faced with a lot of power imbalance as well and your communication efforts aren’t gonna pay off enough. future relationships or potential collaborations will have a slim chance of succeeding as well. it’s looking like a bad ending for…pretty much every aspect. it’s a shame that you can’t exactly capitalize off of this and maintain an ounce of good mental health. chances are things will start to break apart, and you’re having doubts even now. i suggest making this a side hustle or hobby, but not as the main career choice. you’ll be treated very unfairly going down this road.

the best outcome for you at the moment that brings you comfort, confidence, and stable income, is to come to either leave home and move somewhere else, OR resolve conflict that’s currently going on (esp w/ family members) and pursue something more practical and although the environment isn’t as creative or fun as you’d want it to be, you’ll be a lot happier. cards also suggest better planning skills and looking at this logically. you should also act on a well-thought out plan asap. you might think it’s sad that you can’t pursue whatever it is you wanted (creative and emotional attachment) but you’ll be a lot better off financially and with more confidence too, trust. things will play out from there :)

this is also the 2nd time i’ve seen a suggestion for you to get out of your environment. you or with your family as well. there’s been a big stagnancy going on for a while. i also suggest not making any bad moves against this creep and it will resolve on its own. it might take a while and it’s kinda pissing me off too even now, but despite everything weird or terrible that might happen (like a huge loss of something), you guys will have a happy ending. also, don’t let anyone screw with you or destroy your light! keep your head up and you should be pretty good!!

some qualities of your future spouse!! :

*note: cards came out SO easy damn

- your fs is not ready yet but this person is on the way. slowly though. they’re very careful with love but very easy going as well

- i get that they’re confident and chill and make all the right moves! i have a feeling they’re also pretty experienced with life and will lead you too! this person is going to be a mentor for you in many ways and will teach you tons

- it seems you’re not ready at the moment either, but they ABSOLUTELY will be in your life

- this person could be traveling rn btw

- they move fast too. they’re efficient in work and thinking

- this person could be from a different culture as well, but im getting the most on them teaching you something

- i think you’ll also live in prosperity in the future with this person! either that, or this person grew up in a family that’s well off

- they’re working at the moment and not resting. they’ve either got one main job or they can make decisions with ease

- this person might show up in your life when you need help or are at one of your weakest moments

- stable and ready to take it on

[leyyvi]

Are you ready for the ending? I want to know how you feel about this. Personally, I am not okay.

(dw i saw your other ask fkdjghdfgjk)

I'm so torn lol. Part of me is hyped purely to just have some content even if it's just for a bit. The other part of me remembers the shit that happened when the manga ended and I wonder if it'll repeat especially with the dudebro aot fans, hate them actually LOL (then again I no longer look at r*ddit) and I've already seen another influx of terrible aot takes specifically on the clock app but I'm trying to distance myself from that app anyway, now feels like the perfect time.

I guess another thing I think about is how annoyed I've been with how the final parts of AOT have been handled. I'm sure it's going to look gorgeous, but to me it feels like AOT has been a complete afterthought in favor of boosting JJK. Which I get it, JJK is MAPPA's real baby and money-maker, so of course they're going throw all their funding into that. It just sucks that it's ending with these extra long episodes instead of a regular season. Mostly because I wanted to live out the hype over weeks at a time instead of everyone exploding over it for a week and then it's just... done. I don't like this new trend of seeing everything all at once just to enjoy it for shorter periods of time. It doesn't feel satisfying to me at all. (Which reminds me of how Haikyuu ending is gonna be handled and UGH. HORRIBLE)

I'm also just sad because, in a way, aot ending almost feels like I'm saying goodbye to an entire decade of my teenage years/20s, it's really weird. I know the fandom will always be around, even when it's been slow to have new content provided for fans I've never had a problem finding a community here/on AO3/at conventions. But it does make me a little teary-eyed knowing we most likely won't get much new stuff (aside from the upcoming side story that was announced). To be honest, I loved the characters of AOT WAY MORE than the story itself and for me, I'm happy writing them into other universes, making new fanart of them, even if it's for a smaller and smaller community.

Anddddd the show ending more reminds me of a lot of people I knew who were into aot just...either not being around or moving onto other things. which is totally fine! it's bound to happen with all things, just a bit of a sad moment, you know?

but yeah gfjkfgjdh I don't really know my entire point but this has been what I've thought about recently with it all ending!

[l0s3r-fcking-cxntwhor3]

As sad as it is I'ma dip this hoe for awhile. Idrk how long but I'll come back here I promise. Things are to stressful and I've got a lot of stuff going on. It's funny really back then when I was in middle school i was just starting to draw and really wanted to share my art and maybe have an art blog that got dubbed like in batim or cuphead! But ofc as shit took a drop straight down I got unmotivated so fast when I did have the sudden urge to draw, it was sloppy and rushed, and I just didn't get to practice enough. But the thing and crushes me even more looking back on it, I didn't make me feel happy anymore. And even tho I was shitty at it, it was my only "talent" too. I've stopped drawing for 2 years now. I still doodle from time to time, but even I end up hating it. Hope I can get major inspiration in the future. As I said dw guys I'll be back I just wanted to let ya know cuz 8 don't just wanna ghost you all.

BUT IF I DINT END UP BACK CUZ I FORGOR MY PASSWORD ITS BEEN AN HONOR BEING HERE, I MAKE SOME INCREDIBLE WONDERFUL AND GOT FUCKING TALENTED FRIENDS AND GOT TO BE APART OF AMAZING MEMORIES WHEN ALL OF THEM!! I WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY HEALTHY LIFE AND ITS BEEN GREAT EVERYONE!!

If y'all miss me too much that's my insta lol

[fatuismooches]

FIRST OF ALL, THAT KABUKIMONO FIC HAS MY HEART AND SOUL.... it's such a banger series and I'm glad to be able to have read it throughout the months you've been writing it 😈 you don't see much fics bout kabukimono n a really domestic life with them so u have fed that part of my brain... THANK GOD THAT ENDED HAPPILY I would died...

Also off of ur recent post, I SWEARRR TO GOD I'M TREMBLING IN FEAR. WHAT ARE U COOKING 😭😭😭 I'M EXCITED BUT TERRIFIED... 16.K??? I'm already doing mental prep for it when it's about to drop 💀

While I always think about dottore he's unfortunately been on time out for me too 😭 (kindaaa why I haven't sent shit in ur inbox in hot minute),, so 🤝🤝🤝

And ikywm tbh, take ur time for urself pookie 💕💕 better take care of urself else I find you and do it for you /lh GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING!! CYA LY /P 💕💕

WAHHH THANK YOU KAI 😭❤️💗💗🫶 Aww thank you i'm so glad you liked it 🥺 And YEAH QDBWDOI there's a severe lack of Kabukimono + domestic life, like guys he would be the PERFECT guy to do all those domestic things with! he would not say no!! Actually there's a severe lack of Harbingers w/ reader and domestic stuff as well soooo we don't have a lot of options huh 😭 bUT RAH im happy to have fed you... and yeah i simply could not end it in a sad way. Y'all been through too much, fluff was needed.

BIQDWQD PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED HAHA IM DYING BRO it's actually 17k+ now because i was writing while my professor was lecturing 😅 it's like. a lot. this may be my magnum opus for Dottore. I also will be splitting it up into three parts (probably prelude, interlude, postlude) since putting it all in one post would probably be too much... and the first part MAY be posted soon since i finished the beginning half of the fic so!! yippee!!

Ugh we're one in the same Kai, dw 🤝 dottore is always on the mind. Thank you for your sweet words they mean a bunch to me Kai 🥺❤️ You better take care of yourself too otherwise i will find you first!! 😡 😡 💗💗

[neonwizardheehee]

Wohiooo thank you for that tag @maschinen-mensch dw about not doing any tag thingys or so these aren't mandatory <3<3

what book are you currently reading? Around the world in 80 days! (also for christmas a friend gave away their asoiaf books and I'm so hyped to read them!!! they will be the first time i'll be reading long irl books in English :o very excited to see how it is hehehe)

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? also going for 2022 here and it was for sure The Batman (but also special shoutout to Black Panther 2 bc it gave me Namor and finally some positive Marvel things again)

what do you usually wear? colours!!! oversized stuff!! (NYE I saw a Boy George in a 80s chart show and was like "he just looks like me fr" so now I'm braiding colours even into my hair hehehe

how tall are you? @ prev ohhhhhh you're taller than me!! not by much but still!! #short ppl gang

what’s your Star Sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? Taurus eyyyy and I actually do bc I've got Robert Pattinson and Karl Marx :333 

do you go by your name or nickname? my name is too long to be used in a setting where i don't automatically freeze upon hearing it XD Getting names like "Neon" or "Wiz" for me here really warmed my heart <3<3 (and yes I might have screamed a bit too much but hey let me sound cool hehehe)

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? I always wanted to be an elf, but being a wizard suits me so much more!!! :D

are you in a relationship? if not who is your crush if you have one? didn't I got hurt enough when I cried today while listening to "I just wanna be loved" by Culture Club? XD

what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at? good: planning, bad: working last minute

dogs or cats? neither but at least I don't jump onto tables anymore when I see a cat walking by

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year? oof I don't do art myself but I love looking at it <3

what’s something you would like to create content for? The Elven saga XDDD (it's a fantasy book series that I really love!)

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with? Boy George :3

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? (2022) an exhibition on trans history where it turned out I've already seen this exhibition a few years ago in a different city XDD

what’s a hidden talent of yours? During christmas my sis and I found out I'm really good at identifying the voices in Mario Kart w/o owning a Mario Kart game or playing often B)

are you religious? yes, I'm a protestant and since I've grown up in an atheist area i'm always happy and surprised when there are areas where you don't get funny looks bc you're religious (and also it baffles me even more when there are areas where it's the other way around bc you shouldn't force religion onto ppl!!) - and also I love talking about it bc it's always so fascinating to me :D

whats something you wish to have at this moment? for my thesis to either be finished or have more time to finish it bc I lost so much time for reasons beyond my control and now I'm crying T.T

(kyaa why did it have to end on such a sad note ksksk hopefully I have enough coke intus to not fall asleep on my thesis B) )

Tagging some ppl but it's not obligatory ofc <3 @shittyness @the3rddenialist @darksidelightside @sarahbordelonsblog @isadora-greenhall (not sure if anyone else likes doing these but if you do like them too pls tag me for i want to see yours too uwu)