#sad puppy dog eyes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deadsetobsessions · 8 months ago

Text

Much of his misery were consequences of his own making. Danny accepted that. He drowned in it, really.

But this?

Jason stood before him, dressed in traffic cone colors in front of a still but apprehensive Batman. Jason- that was his baby brother, damn it, this universe’s version of his older sister!- hunched in on himself, knowing he had been caught and recognized. Danny’s world narrowed and crumpled onto itself, the bloodied face of his dead sister superimposed on Jason’s masked one.

This was all Batman’s fault.

Suddenly, he remembered all those time Jazz looked at him with terror in her eyes. She wasn’t scared of him. No, she was scared for him.

Looking back, Danny finally understood the fragile look in her eyes when he asked her- quietly, so his parents didn’t hear- to patch him up. He had broken her heart, had soured it with fear tempered by love. Danny stared at his baby brother- his sister, with that red hair and impossibly blue eyes and that kind but sharp wit- and realized with a sense of finality that he too was about to experience that heartbreak. He too would know the pain of watching some break themselves for a city they loved, a sense of responsibility he wished they didn’t have- one that he had, before it and grief tore everything away from him.

But Danny wasn’t willing to admit defeat. He would rather suffer another half death than let a life of vigilantism hurt his loved ones. The world could burn. He’d learned a long time ago what this life cost and Danny wasn’t going to lose Jason too.

He set down the bottle of wine with a loud and clear thunk. It was untouched. He hadn’t opened it, hadn’t had the chance to when the duo dropped down unsuspectingly on his apartment roof top.

“No,” Danny said, voice filled with crackling brimstone and spine laced with cold hard steel. It’s the voice he used when he fought Vlad. It’s the voice he had when he helped the Ancients shut Pariah Dark away. It was the voice he had when he begged Jazz to not die.

“Wait, Danny,” Jason- Robin, Batman put his little brother in bright kill-target clothes and named him after a fucking bird- pleaded. Danny cut him off, in a way he’s never done before. He loved it when Jason talked. It was a sign that Jason felt safe enough to talk about his interests and things he cared about without fear of retaliation.

“No,” he repeated, face carefully blank. Jason didn’t like aggressiveness. It reminded him of terrible days, so Danny watched himself around Jason, learning the neutral face and carefully non threatening body language until he did it like breathing. “We will be having words on the matter of you lying to me, sneaking out, and meeting up with a strange old man later. But you, Jason Peter Todd, are done with whatever this is right now. Go inside, change, eat, and wait.”

“You’re drinking again,” Jason mulishly said, though the stubbornness was dulled by his apprehensiveness. “I ain’t taking-”

“And I will apologize for that later. Home. Now, please.”

Jason paused. His eyes, surrounded by the fabric of a domino mask, surveyed Danny’s stance. He mumbled a gritted “fine.” With one last glance, Jason disappeared off the scaffolding- giving Danny half a heart attack because when the hell did Jason learn to do that? What if he got hurt??- and into the open window of his bedroom.

Danny kept eyes-to-lense contact with Batman the entire time.

“Close the window,” he called down to Jason, glaring at Batman the entire time.

He heard a curse mixed with grumbling before Jason closed the window with a thud.

Danny immediately rounded on Batman.

“You. How dare you trick my baby brother into all of this?” His eyes glowed a sickening green, hazy in the beginning of a drizzling Gotham rain.

“He would have done it with or without me. This way, he has support.”

“You? Support? You think that’s enough? You think you’re enough?” Danny stalked closer. He was stone cold sober now, and Batman was about to witness what he was capable of when he’s sober.

“I’m better than nothing,” Batman growled.

“No. You’re worse,” Danny snapped at him. The thing about heroes, current or former ones like Danny, was that they tended to know what made people tick. It was how they knew to comfort them, after all. Danny honed in, words brutal and cutting. “You encourage him, yes, but you encourage him to go into this life of yours like it’s a healthy thing to do. Without you, he’d be stopping muggings here and there. Maybe, he’d get in trouble with a crime syndicate. But you? You take a dip in the worst Gotham has to offer, and you expect it to never taint you? You think you’re protecting him but what you’re really doing is dragging him with you. The mud you track in will eventually drown my baby brother, Batman.”

Batman tilted his stupid pointy eared head. “You have experience with this,” he said quietly. A realization.

“You don’t know what it’s like to lose someone because you decided to pull him into this life. I do. So don’t fucking drag him into your fight because he deserves a chance at a life that won’t try its damn hardest to break him. Your self sacrifice and sense of justice will mean nothing to a dead boy.”

Because in the end, it hadn’t mattered for Danny.

Because in the end, he was still left bereft of the family he had and made, all because he chose responsibility.

Because in the end, the dead boy was Danny, but he was left alive enough to grieve.

Danny took a deep, wavering breath before whirling on his heels and marching back inside. Batman watched him walk away. He took a moment before walking down to their apartment.

——

Jason sat at their dining table, homework out and Robin mask laid carefully on the table. He’d changed into his pjs while Danny laid into Batman and seemed to be on his best behavior. Danny took a moment to lean against the doorway, quietly cherishing the last moments of peace he’ll ever know.

He needs your support, Jazz whispered into his ears.

He needs to not be a vigilante, Danny argued back. His throat missed the spice of the wine he’d yet to drink. But he’d promised not to drink around Jason.

And when had telling vigilantes no crime fighting ever work, dork? Jazz laughed. It certainly hadn’t worked with you, Invis-o-bill.

It made Danny’s heart ache something fierce and he didn’t think he’d ever stop missing his older sister.

I just… don’t want to lose him.

I know. Tell him that. But you will if you don’t support him. You will, because he’ll go off on his own like you did. Don’t do our brother dirty, Danny.

It probably wasn’t healthy to be talking to himself like this.

He walked into the room. Jason stiffened. Ah, he should have noticed. Jason always had exceptional spatial awareness, but recently he’d been even more so. Danny knew why, now.

He sat himself across from Jason, who set his jaw stubbornly. He couldn’t look Danny in the eyes, though, and kept fiddling the edges of his red “The Flash” themed pajama shirt.

Danny couldn’t bring it in himself to be anything but gentle, even in his anger.

“Do you want to tell me why you want to be… Robin?”

“Yeah, it’s Robin,” Jason crossed his arms, looking defensive. His fingers now drummed anxiously on the worn wooden table Danny had picked up for their kitchen/dining area. “I wanna help. Ya- y’helping but not enough. I gotta do more.”

Danny tried very very hard not to bury his face into his hands and scream. He did, however, make a dying whale noise that had Jason making offended faces.

“I thought Alley kids were supposed to have self preservation instincts?” Danny bemoaned.

“How d’ya think I’m still alive?” Jason shot back. “Robin’s magic. The other day-”

See, Danny had a plan. He did. He wanted to shut this down.

But as he watched Jason describe the crooks he took down and the people he’s helped, all he could see was Jazz, passionately advocating for improvements in mental health and how much she could help people. He saw the spark in Jason’s eyes, and could only think of Jazz’s heart and how Jason had inherited it and made it his own.

And, what hurts above all, is that Danny saw himself, before everything was ripped from him. Danny saw the hope that Jason carried, the care he had for others and it made him want to cry. Is this why Jazz hadn’t tried to stop him, all those years ago?

Was his choice to become Phantom not a choice that brought her despair but rather something that inspired his older sister?

“I ain’t the first Robin- but- I’m helping.” Jason said, desperate for Danny to understand. “I’m good at it.”

And he does- he does, but.

“You’re better than the first Robin,” Danny said, clearly without bias. Really, he was being fair about it. “You’re already my hero.”

And he was. Even from the moment they met, Jason’s small form, determined despite the fear, had inspired Danny to be better. To be what Phantom used to be.

“Y’re just sayin’ that.” Jason mumbled. “So… does this mean you’re gonna lemme be Robin?”

Danny hesitated. “The reason that I’m against it isn’t because I think you’re incapable.”

Then Danny told his little brother everything. Almost.

“I used to be a vigilante, a long time ago,” he began. Danny wove a tapestry of stories. He spoke of the scars he’d gotten, the things he’d seen and done to help, and more importantly, of the people he’s loved and lost.

“You remind me of my sister, Jay.”

“‘Cause I got red hair?” Jason asked quietly.

“Yes and more. You’re so brave, and your heart is so big. You want to help people at the roots. You care so much and you’re both incredibly intelligent.” Danny closed his eyes. ��Losing her broke me. I’m not against you becoming a vigilante, Jay. I’m just scared about losing you and being a vigilante increases those chances.”

“I won’t die.” Jason promised.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Jay.” Danny leaned over and ruffled Jason’s hair. “But I know that you’re eventually going to go back to vigilantism eventually. That’s… that’s just kind of how it is.”

Danny hated it but he knew that he wouldn’t have listened at Jason’s age.

“But you haven’t.” Jason gripped his wrist. “Y’ain’t right?”

“What did you think happened to Charlie?”

Jason blinked. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Danny smiled, tired and sad but buoyant. He’ll be there for Jason like Jazz was for him. “I guess there’s only one choice left.”

“What’s that?”

Danny smiled mischievously. “I just gotta be a vigilante again. But don’t tell Batman. That asshole’s gotta suffer a bit.”

Jason giggled and Ancients, Danny could hear Jazz’s little snort in there. “Really?!”

“Yes. I’ll train you if you want. I gotta be out there to make sure you don’t die on me.”

“I won’t.”

This time, Danny actually believed it. Mostly because whoever tried to cross his little brother was about to find out why even the Ancients bowed when he got angry.

——

Jason: *is cute and happy Robin*

Criminals: *fear*

Jason: see that, Danny? They were so afraid of me! I’m super intimidating

Danny, who had been standing behind Jason and making silent threats at them like a demon from Constantine’s hell: yeah, baby brother you’re the scariest, I’m so proud of you

Me, trying to write Danny and Bruce getting along: *challenge failed*

Listen, Danny has too much fight me you rich weirdo vibes

#dcxdp #alley drunk! danny au #dpxdc #danny phantom #jason todd #batman #sorry I wanted to make it longer and have danny be against it #but unfortunately sad Danny is weak to puppy dog eyes and sad Jason #dp x dc crossover #seriously it was supposed to be angstier #like Jason dies and Danny buries him screaming over his grave #and he slips back to alcoholism but then realizes that Jason would have wanted that #and then one day he figures out that Jason isn’t in his grave #and goes hunting for him #they keep missing each other and when they meet #it’s red hood and severely depressed Danny #Danny would have been like I’m so glad you’re back #and Jason would have been like wtf how did you get worse #and Danny would hit him with the Jason you’re my little brother and I love you and losing you broke me all over again

624 notes · View notes

mywordstovictor · 1 month ago

Text

It’s just a little bit soul crushing when I come across trans men talking about how much they hate men. Apologizing for being one. Like ‘haha I guess I’m a trans man yep that means I, as a man, suck, just like all other men haha feel free to vent your frustrations about the patriarchy at me. I can’t help being a man I hate men why would I choose to be one?’

I remember being there. Hating the gender you belong to is exhausting. It’s worth deconstructing I promise, even just for your wellbeing. Here’s a start:

Manhood isn’t inherently tied to misogyny and violence. Misogyny and violence are choices. Just choices that men are disproportionately conditioned into making. Men can and do rewrite that conditioning all the time. Manhood isn’t the problem. The problems are misogyny and violence. You’re not a bad feminist because you let go of the hate you have for the manness of yourself. Your manness doesn’t make you violent or misogynistic, being violent and misogynistic make you violent and misogynistic make you violent and misogynistic. Testosterone HRT doesn’t turn you into the archetype of male violence. Testosterone isn’t the driving force of misogyny and violence. Do you understand what I’m saying? Misogyny and violence are not inherent and inescapable to anyone, regardless of identity. Being a man doesn’t make you evil.

Treating misogyny and violence as inherent to manhood excuses men for being violent and misogynistic. Accountability is real hard when you consider doing bad things a fundamental nature tied to an identity. If men are sexist, can you blame this man for being sexist? That’s just how men are. Do you see how this is boys will be boys hidden behind a couple layers of pseudo feminism?

I spent years dancing around manhood because I believed the second I labeled myself a man I was the enemy. The number of ways I found to describe my masculine identity that weren’t man. The number of times hearing ‘at least you’re not a man’ set me back. The number of times I came so close to manhood, but ran into an explicitly trans inclusive ‘I hate men’.

I think the best word for how manhood feels to me is settled. Being a man feels like home. Masculinity feels so gentle, in a big ol’ teddy bear sort of way. Growing a beard and letting your little cousin stick flowers in it. Making sure none of my students think it’s okay to make fun of the kid who cries a lot. Answering ‘boys don’t cry’ with ‘I’m a boy, and I cry every single time a dog in a movie is sad’. I want to be so kind. I want to be the man someone chooses to start working on their dog’s fear of men with. I want to be trusted to watch a drink and to walk with people to their cars at night. I want them to find a cure for cat allergies so I can get that patting-tiny-animal-with-hairy-hands gender euphoria without eye irritation. Cardigans and top surgery scars. Wrinkled hands injecting testosterone. My dream life closes on sweet if eccentric old man.

I may have tangented a bit, but just… you don’t have to hate the man part of you. It doesn’t do any good. It’s not a moral responsibility. You can let that go because ‘man’ is just a gender. It isn’t a fundamental evil that exists deep within your being. The only evil masculine urge I’ve ever felt is the desire to wear athletic shorts in the middle of November. You’re not doing anything wrong by existing as a man I swear.

#transgender #trans #trans man #trans masculinity #queer masculinity #transandrophobia #healthy masculinity #gender essentialism is bad #masculinity can be gentle #you’re not evil #the problem is patriarchy #manhood #trans manhood #but seriously it’s cruel to make the dog in your movie sad #don’t you dare edit out that waggling tail in post so all I see are puppy dog eyes #and how’s that cat allergy cure coming?

157 notes · View notes