#sad i dont get to drive her but i love my car too!!!!! so its ok!!! i love them both

[raspberrysmoon]

thinking about how sometimes my moms subaru (her name is trudy) chirps at us when we start her. hello trudy i love you too how are you doing today??

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[ganondoodle]

actively fighting a full blown panic attack born out of sadness and anger after having to drive by yet another victim on the side of the road

it makes me livid how accepted it is to just let cats suffer and die disgustingly horrid deaths and live awful short lives just so what, for what?? so you dont have to play with them for an hour a day??? when i was little it was just kinda normal that they disappeared at some point, i didnt understand what it actually meant until our outdoor cat i loved dearly was found in the bushes near our house in a condition so horrible my dad has never told me and i have never dared to ask, she only made it to 6 and had horrible scars and infections before that i allowed my family to convince me to let my first own cat outside, we only had her for a year, she died at only 2 years old, i am still suffering from the guilt, it has never let me go, she went missing for a week and i walked the entire vilage up and down every day, yelling her name, wandering into the forest alone, talking to every stranger i met until one morning my mom told me that our neighbour who works for the city asked if we had a white cat with a very specific collar she had- he found her on a busy road crossing in the next bigger city, i never even got to bury her, its haunting me, the thought of her wandering lost and scared in the city for a week until meeting an awful end gives me headaches, the fact that i was the last one to see her alive, that i put her outside bc we were late for school and had to leave quickly, that she had come home with oil in her fur from crawling through maschines and cars before, that i was worried but still didnt act, that it is my fault, any time i am up to late its coming back, it will never let me go, if i had stood my ground and not allow her outside unless on a leash or similar shed still be alive today, any time i read a description at our local shelter it comes back, they still advocate for outside cats, all of them, even if they have only been an indoor one before, its madness my older sister had a cat, i dont even know how old he got but it wasnt long either, he got hit by a car in front of their house, she has two now again and the only reason she hasnt let them outside is because they havent shown much interest in it, i tried to warn her before and she didnt listen and shes still resistent, even after losing one too

i have seen so many on the side of the road, anywhere i drive i see them, i cannot forget a single one, we are surrounded by farm land and all its giant maschinery, its still common to poison rodents, why do people value them so little, you wouldnt let your dog just live outside in the woods and streets for half the day or more, you wouldnt just throw your guniea pigs on the road and tell them have fun, you wouldnt just let your bird roam outside, there probably assholes that do that too but you cannot tell me its as common as outside cats

i dont understand it, i dont, i wont, i never will, i will never forgive myself this poor little animal that was my responsibility having to pay the price of my ignorance, or my own weakness letting my family convince me despite the awful way we lost one before, it makes me want to explode it hurts my brain in grief and anger i can barely contain

cats deserve to live a safe and long life, i get only having them inside may feel like you are locking them up, but do you think that not doing so is worth having them die a painful death? being poisonend? on purpose even by disgusting people that hate them? abused and chased by other animals and dogs? hurt and lost? cutting their lifespan in half? if they even make it that far? the amount of wildlife that they kill unnecessarily so when all of that is already in a steep decline everywhere? and if they eat what they hunt get infected with diseases or again, poison? die somewhere in agony? if cared for they dont care about going outside, plenty can be leash trained or given a secure way to roam like those cat proof aviary like things, if you dont want to put effort into caring for a cat DONT GET ONE, ALL pets require adequate care, and if you think cats are the easiest bc you only have to feed them every now and then IF they come home? you suck, you are an asshole, i hate you and you do not care about them, if you just want to occasionalyl feed and pet an animal go to the petting zoo

(this is about pet cats of people who can absolutely afford to keep them healthily inside, i know feral cats and those in poor neighbourhoods are a thing, even if not here where i live, and thats a whole other but still similar problem and not the point of this post)

[tunatoge]

hiii !! i was just wondering if you could do an alternative ending to "take a slice - s. gojo x reader"? like reader books the tickets then they leave without saying goodbye? (up to you if you wanna add comfort) i would really appreciate if you accept this request, but if you dont wanna do it its fine !! remember to eat, sleep and drink, stay safe !!

hehe of course!! :D i hope you, too, also remember to eat, sleep, and drink water!!! happy new year, love!! ty for the req and i hope u enjoy !!

pairing: teen!gojo x teen!reader

contents: alternate ending to my drabble here!! picks up where reader hesitates to book tickets, kind of angsty (not too good at angst, but still kinda sad)

you sit in your dark and nearly empty dorm room with your laptop propped up on your knees. you have the cheapest plane tickets pulled up on the screen as you gnaw on your fingernails, wondering if this is really what you want to do. 

for nearly thirty thousand yen you could get a flight to the incheon international airport and away from your life as a jujutsu sorcerer. you know it wouldn’t last long until the higher ups found you in korea but you were ready to get even a little shred of normal, domestic living. right now, you couldn’t handle being a sorcerer after suguru’s defection and haibara’s death. you wanted out. 

your cursor hovers over the ‘complete transaction’ button as you think about how easy it would be to run away and how difficult it would be to restart your life. it’d be easier to stick around with satoru and shoko but you can’t seem to find it in yourself to want to. it’s tempting to throw everything you know away and restart from the beginning. you could finally think about dating someone without endangering them, or adopting a pet without potentially leaving it owner-less after an ill timed death. 

with a sharp breath, you confirm your transaction and watch as the website reloads before redirecting you to another page showing you your itinerary. you scramble out of bed and chuck a handful of oyur clothes into a large duffel and shove your laptop into your backpack. by the time you’re done, your room looks exactly the same but when you squint… your heart falls into your stomach at how sad and dark your room looks. 

hopefully, you think, satoru and shoko don’t notice how empty your closet is when they come looking for you in the morning. 

you leave your room, shutting the door with a soft click and padding down the hallway, your shoes in one hand and your duffel in the other. you stop by shoko’s room, listening from outside the door as she shifts in her sleep. you bite down on your lip as tears pool in your eyes, you realize you don’t have time to visit satoru’s room briefly. not when it’s so hugely plausible he would hear you and beg you to stay. not when you would end up agreeing and staying, just for him.

when you leave the dormitory, the sky is still dark and the air is breezy. your breath comes out in quick gentle puffs, the way suguru and shoko’s breath would when they would smoke cigarettes with each other. you grit your teeth and approach an auxiliary manager who waits standing next to a black car, the door already open. you greet them softly and tiredly as you load your things into the car and take a seat in the back. 

as you turn your head to look out the window, satoru and shoko stand in the dormitory doorway. shoko is dressed in her pajamas, the loose fabric of her pants billowing around her ankles, and satoru is dressed in a pair of shorts and a thick gray hoodie. his glasses are gone and he stares at you through the window, his hands clenched tightly at his sides. you think you see a tear slide down his wind-bitten cheeks. 

“would you like to stay?” the auxiliary manager asks you, watching you through the rearview mirror. 

“no,” you whisper softly, the single word spreading fog across the car window, “i have a flight to catch.” 

they don’t respond and instead put the car into drive, letting you quietly watch as satoru and shoko’s bodies melt away into the background. 

[norizz-nation]

Click here to read part 1 sweethearts!

Midnight 🧡 (Part 2)

Summary: having dark past because of your mum made you rethink your decision, although lando is doing everything for you

Warnings: nsfw, 18+, a bit angsty, reader’s past is kind of sad, drugs

It has been few weeks since youre having these thoughts.

What if i can never be a good mother? What if i turn up like my mum? What if my baby hates me because im not a good mother? Was keeping the baby a good choice?

Your mum is someone in your life, you dont want to remember. You were 4 when your dad left. For another woman. Your mum raised you from then. But, was she good at raising you? No. She would always bring different men at night. Making it so obvious in front of you that they have sex. She would always make out with them in front of you. The worst part is, you were just 6 when these used to happen. But, you thought your mum was right all these time. You were grateful that she was raising you. Working to earn money. Earning so then you can go to school. But things became tough when you were finally an adult. She would put pressure on you to go work. But not just normal work to earn money. She would tell you to be a prostitute. Because according to her, all you can do is just please men. Every day and night, it was always yelling and shouting at her. Because you couldn’t take it anymore. She was just being mean to you.

You were celebrating your 21st birthday with lando, when you got a call from a hospital. It said that your mum was found unconscious on the street because of too much drug consumption. You immediately went to the hospital with lando and found her on the hospital bed. You were so worried for her. You stayed there all night with lando, waiting for her. But all she said, when she gained consciousness was, “Can you give me 100 bucks from your rich boyfriend? I need it urgently”

That was the last time you saw her. You just couldn’t bear it anymore. You had to leave. It has been two years. Although you do get news about your mum from some of your relatives. Heard that she has married some guy. Whatever. You dont care.

Yes. That’s the problem. You dont care about your mum, thats the problem. Your mum was always a shit person to you. What if your baby hates you too? Just like you hate your mum.

“Y/n, are you alright baby?” Lando asked. You flinched at his words as you looked at him confusingly. “What?” You asked as you looked at the road again. Lando took a deep breath. “You seem pretty lost. If you’re stressing about anything then tell me. Please” he said as he focused on his driving. “No no, its nothing. Im just tired. Its almost midnight” you said, sounding obvious that youre lying.

The next few minutes were quiet. But lando finally broke the silence.

“Is it because of your mum, y/n?” He asked, sounding serious. You couldn’t help but look down at your belly. Tears started to form in your eyes. “If it is about your mum, then baby let me tell you. Youre nothing like her. You’re gonna be a great mother. I mean it” he said as he held your hand, gripping tightly. “I just..” your words got cut out because of your tears. “Tell me love” he said, sounding so soft. You wiped your tears and looked straight. “Can we please talk about this when we get home?” You said, your words were so cold. Lando didn’t say anything but he still held your hand. Not letting your hand go.

“Y/n, please talk to me about it” lando said as he placed the car keys down. “Talk about what?” You asked, pretending like you dont know. “Talk about what?” He repeated. “Y/n, talk about whats wrong. What’s bothering you for the past few weeks?” He asked, sounding concerned. “I just..” you stopped, sitting on the couch, looking down on the floor. Lando then came close to you, kneeling in front of you. He held your hands and caressed it with his thumb. “You just?” He asked. “I just dont think i can do this. What if im not a good mother? What if i turn out like my mum?” You asked, looking down as you teared up again. “Baby..baby youre going to be a great mother. I promise. Youre such an amazing person. You have no idea how much im grateful to have you. Im so happy we’re gonna have a baby, my love” he said. His words comforted you. “Dont cry, my love” he said as he wiped your tears away with his thumb.

The next morning felt really bad. You dont know why but you felt like lando was wrong. You felt like you were right all this time. You felt like all your comfort wiped away from last night. Maybe you are gonna be a bad person like your mum.

You were sitting on the couch looking blankly at the tv. You took a deep breath and did what you had to do to do. You got your phone and dialed a number.

“Okay great, I’ll come tomorrow at 7pm for the abortion”

Click here for part 3 sweethearts!

A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❤️

[captainpulisic]

dont call me baby - m. mount

feedback is appreciated gif credits to owner word count : 1.4k

by the time ben has the bright idea to call you, mason is absolutely wasted. music can be heard down the street and the house might explode with how many people are packed in.  

mason can’t stop laughing at nothing in particular, the alcohol doing a number on him. he’s halfway pouring himself another shot before ben snatches it from him. ignoring the childish protest from his friend, he guides him outside for some much needed fresh air. “i think we’ve had enough, yeah?”

ben makes sure mason is settled on the curb of the sidewalk before dialing your number, begrudgingly taking the role of babysitter.  

“uh y/n, are you busy?”

“not really, everything okay?” you have to hold the phone away from your ear, trying not to get ear damage from the loud music bleeding out in the background.

“no, yeah everything is good. i just think its best if you come get mase, he’s pretty shitfaced.”

over the receiver, you hear masons slurring, “who are you on the phone with? come sit with me!” you feel silly, just hearing his voice makes your heart skip a beat. 

“its y/n”

“y/n? y/n! where is she?” you can hear the smile in his tone and it makes you weak in the knees. if only you could see how pathetically sweet he looks, eyes looking for you in every direction. 

ben must have given mason the phone because his voice is suddenly clearer than ever. “y/n?”

“everything okay, love? having fun?”

“i think so, i said i wasn’t going to drink that much but kai kicked my ass in beer pong… twice.” he mumbles the last part, quietly. “are you almost here? i need you, i miss you.”

“i miss you too, sweet boy.” you swear you can’t love him anymore than you do right now. he always gets so soft and lovey when he’s drunk, it’s your favorite version of him. “want me to take you home?”

“what a scandalous proposition, at least buy me dinner before asking me to go home with you!” he laughs at his own joke for a solid minute.

“i’ll buy you all the dinners you want, okay? i’ll be there soon.” 

you exchange ‘i love yous’ and mason hands the phone back to ben, having watched the whole conversation with amusement. and the amusement only grows when mason lets himself fall back onto the patch of sidewalk grass. he hears mason ramble about something along the lines of ‘she wants to take me home’.

“hurry, for his own good.”

when you finally do arrive, you find mason passed out on bens shoulder. quickly getting off the car, you approach them and kneel right in front of them. mason is still mumbling nonsense of ‘her’ and ‘home’, eyes glazed and sleepy. you boop his nose, affectionately. he looks extra beautiful with the streetlight illuminating his features. “hello there, handsome. let’s get out of here, yeah?”

nothing could’ve prepared you for the serious look mason gave you as his gaze landed on you. no smiles, no laughing. in an annoyed tone, “no thanks, please leave me alone.”

ben and you share a confused look. you force yourself to swallow the sadness that was creeping up in you. mason has never been so cold with you, always wanting to work out arguments instead of fighting. what could you have done to him in that fifteen minute drive to warrant such a cold attitude? you reach for his hand, “im sorry, mase? did i do something wrong?”

“i said to leave me alone.” he retracts his hand at lighting speed, making your heart feel worse than it ever has. he’s certainly never done that before. “my girlfriend is on her way and i don’t think she’ll appreciate you putting the moves on me.”

you raise an eyebrow, “mason, what are you on about?” 

“just leave.” 

you really didn’t understand what was going on. “baby, whats going on?”

“do not call me baby, only my girlfriend can do that.”

oh my, your mood does a complete 180 and now you really can’t contain your laugh. your poor boyfriend is drunker than you thought. Keeping the charade up, you reach to ruffle his hair “i’m so sorry, i had no idea you had a girlfriend.”

his reflexes are quick, trying to dodge your affectionate gestures. “you should be sorry. please- hey stop that, i know y/n will definitely get mad if she sees you playing with my hair. only she’s allowed to do that.” not even waiting for your response, he turns to ben. “is y/n almost here? i want her.”

this time, you and ben share an amused look. ben pats his back,  “she just called, said she’s almost here.”

hearing that, masons stern glare is targeted at you again. he slurs, “now you really do have to leave. y/n might be nice but she will fight you if she sees you trying to get into my pants. leave before i tell her you tried calling me baby.”

without another word, you get up and walk behind your car, hidden from masons view. giving him a couple seconds to believe that this “other girl” left, you prepare to come out of your hiding spot. when you finally do reappear, you walk up to him again, hoping the ruse will work. acting as if this is the first time you’re seeing him tonight, you kneel down again and kiss his cheek. realizing that it’s really you this time, masons entire mood shifts. he tries and fails to get up, trying to grasp your hand. “y/n!”

“hey pretty boy!” ruffling his hair, this time he leans into it. “you’re okay?”

“yeah, just a little drunk and sleepy. i really want you to take me home, not sexually just literally.”

“thats what i’m here for, baby.”

as if the word triggers some memory he was trying hard to repress, mason lets out a gasp. “y/n! you’ll never believe what just happened.”

“hmm?”

“some girl tried touching my hair and she was calling me baby and getting too close to me. i told her i had a girlfriend but she wouldn’t listen. i was properly mad but i told her you’d fight her if she stuck around.”

“oh, yeah? was she pretty? did you like her?” you know you shouldn’t take advantage of him in this state but it was just too fun to tease drunk mason. 

“no! i didn’t even look at her! i was just waiting for you to show up and trying my best to ignore her. i swear it!”

at this, ben snorted and helped you lift mason up. latching on to you, he sways you both around, promising he didn’t even pay attention to that other girl. you say your goodbyes to ben after making sure mason is properly in the car. 

halfway on the drive, mason speaks up. “where were you tonight? you should’ve come along and protected me from scary girls.”

you laugh at this.

“whats so funny?”

“nothing. just thought of me following you around, making sure no other girl touches your pretty hair.”

soon enough, you’re back home and helping him stumble in through the front door. getting him up the stairs should earn you a gold medal, setting aside the fact that he only almost slipped twice. entering your shared bedroom, you gently sit him down on the bed and begin to undress him. he hums in content when he is left in only his boxers and an old shirt, quickly being tucked in the covers by you. even in his state, he wants to tell you how much he appreciates you, how you’re his whole world.  “i love you, y/n.”

“i love you, sweet boy.” you give him a quick peck on his stubbled cheek, before changing out of your clothes and climbing into bed alongside him. immediately, he pulls you to him, nestling his face into the crook of your neck. this is heaven to you, feeling his warm touch all over you. 

you kiss him one more time, “go to sleep, love. you had a long night.”

“but i’m not even tired!” he whines, stifling a yawn.

“yes you are, mase.” lifting your hand to his hair, you begin to play with it in hopes that it lulls him to sleep. “it’s okay, i’ll stay up for a bit if you need anything.”

mason doesn’t even hear the last part of your sentence, already lost in his dreams of you.

[understand-that-i-love-you-not]

[Context, after learning about the decay of angels' plan to annihilate in 10 days, Ango comes home to his wife's presence.]

Warnings: slight angst due to Ango overthinking, but very fluffy, very descriptive kiss part, author's first time writing.

Ango came home from work, very late as usual. His mind playing events of the DOA'S annihilation, trying to come up with ways to think 10 steps ahead.

10 days...10 days and the continent of Japan will no longer roam of human lives...10 days left for people to be alive 10 days left...and people dont even know what's coming for them

10 days and....

Ango halted the car he was driving as he realized he drove past your shared home.

Ango sighed taking his shoes off and let out a sharp exhale, he didn't even know how shallow his breathing was, until he recalled what Mushitaro said at Anne's playroom...again...

"Welcome home! i've prepared a bath for you, do you want dinner?"

Ango's thoughts dissipated, it was his wife...

"..."

"...are you good? You look like you just saw a ghost"

"..."

"Ango- eh? Uhm..."

Without a second thought he rushed to wrap his arms around his wife's frame, with his head leaning on top of her's, his arms locking to her torso. His wife attempted to sneek her arms out to reciprocate, sharing their warmth.

After what seems to be 5 mins, Ango lets loose, and cups his wife's face to his warm hands.

"Ango...what is this?" His wife was confused, yet she was greatful

"What is what?"

"All this?" "I don't get what you mean my love"

"Oh uhm...its just that usually when you get home, you finish you reports and go to bed from there"

It just now occured to Ango, after 3 years of marriage with his wife, he never got to cherish his love for his wife much, he was too busy saving the world.

"Ah, I undestand how busy you are, so don't fret about it ok?" His wife reassured, bringing up her hands to touch Ango's that are supporting her face for him to cherish.

This was the women he trusted most, the woman that loved him, accepted his flaws, stayed with him despite his dangerous occupation, and was always there to tend to him after his hectic work and sleep less nights of working.

...and this woman was gonna be taken away from him in 10 days...

"...i love you, do you know that..." Ango asked

"Of course I do Ango, I love you more did you know that?" His wife followed now rubbing circles on his hand using her thumbs.

"What would you do if you had 10 days of living left?"

"What!?"

"Sorry...nevermind that..."

"..."

"..."

"Well...I would say goodbye to my family and friends, then..." She came closer putting Ango 's hands off her face. She then wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling their bodies closer.

"I would spend the remaining days with you..."

Ango flushed red, you can almost compare him to the tomato juice he drinks back with Dazai and Oda.

But despite his bothered apperance he coudnt help but feel rather...sad

"But my love...what if in those days im working? I cant tend to you..."

"Oh its ok im not asking you to take 10 days off, I simply want to wait for you home and cook for you and ready a bath for you, then you're gonna do your reports while I wait for you to join me in bed, thats all, like usual, I'd spend 10 days left with just that, and you." His wife answered.

Ango felt something in his heart, as if something heavy was exhaled out of his lungs. He was grateful of his wife, being content with his mere presence.

"This is very... new of you today" The wife added

"Right... I'm sorry"

"You must be very tired asking questions like that"

"You're right"Ango then locked his eyed to his wife's lips and gave very gentle and sweet peck , he missed doing that to you.

"One more" His wife demanded, and so Ango complied

"One more pleaaase" Ango complied again

"One more pleeease" and again

"One more one more" and again...

"One mo-" Before his wife could ask he kissed her again, this time more passionately, and longer.

He moved his hands to her waist, then arms slid from his chest then clinging to the back of his neck

It was getting more passionate while Ango slightly tilted his head to feel her lips on his more, slightly and just gently adding his tongue

to the kiss.

"Mmm- wait I might burn the pastry I'm baking, ill come to it before it burns our house down haha" His wife pulled away to prevent her baking getting burnt.

Ango sat down on the sofa to loosen his tie. He must admit he missed the most intimate moments him and his wife go through, instead of recalling his dilemma from work, he takes a moment to recall their lovely memories together.

Although it was 10 days left, he suddenly had more hope and motivation to save this home of his, which is his wife from the doa's twisted plans.

-------------------------

Its actually my first time writing hehe oops, just a scenario I wanted to share so it was very sudden

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 40

Roadkill/Age of Steel

“Roadkill”

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: one time I was driving down to Louisville and my gps told me a shortcut that took me through some backroads The Deer Hunter lookin place instead of the highway….I did feel like I was in an episode of spn. But I didn’t get distracted like these two, so I might be alright

How’s this guy gonna leave his wife? girlfriend? in their totaled car in the middle of the woods with not even a text or voicemail to tell her where he went on their ANNIVERSARY

I don’t think you should go into the spooky house in the woods unless you actually live there

Love that everyone is going to sound crazy to everyone else in this scenario…like, we’re joining Sam and Dean already in the middle of their investigation.

MAYBE DONT TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE ROAD DEAN

Omg…I too would be backing away slowly if I saw the entire arsenal the Winchesters have in their trunk, but, man, I think I’d start running if they told me they were ghost hunting…lucky for them, Molly has had to plead to them to be believed

Dean’s bluntness and Sam’s empathy are a good combination actually

I don’t know that I’d let Molly walk behind me if I knew she was in the kind of danger she’s in…she’d be right at my side

We’re getting philosophical up in this bitch this afternoon

Oh they KNOW what happened to her husband???

God I hate jump scares…even when I know for sure they’re coming because they’re playing House of the Rising Sun

“You’re like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.” What does that make you, Dean?? You’re one too

“thank god” “call me Dean” bestieee please (though to be honest, it’s the kind of stupid remark I’d also make in that kind of situation)

There are 10 minutes left, this can’t possibly be over….wait what??? How…how long was she there? Is…is SHE dead? Is MOLLY ALSO A GHOST?? Omg…how horrific to have to relive a night like that every year

I really do resent how good some of these episodes can be…

“Been On My Mind…”: the only characters they interact with are an already married woman and the ghost, so………no

"Age of Steel"

Did I even mention Ricky in the last episode?? Because...it's very funny to see that actor being something of a hardass after watching him be Mickey for a season and a half.

Love that Ricky just has the most parking tickets and that's got him on some most wanted list...truly love that for him

Is this the moment Mickey starts getting some self respect? well...alternate-self respect? becuase Ricky told him he wasn't so bad

Did the cybermen just kill Ricky??? RIP

These little punk rebels are adorable, and they care so much about each other (as they should and would). It's just sad that there are so few and one of them just died...

YES YES YES!!! YOU DID IT!! You gained self respect!!

Half expected that cyberman to turn its head as they passed....because that would of course happen.

And this, kids, is why you stick to wired headphones. Get rid of your air pods now, guys

Even though you see the people right before they turn into cybermen, they're already being controlled and are very robotic, it's easy to think of them as sci-fi fodder, but listening to the cyberman whose emotional inhibitor gets turned off or destroyed...talking about how she's getting married and is worried that her fiance might see her before the wedding...just destroyed me

And then having Mickey straight up looney tunes trick the cyberman to disable the transmitter. Brilliant

This dude has factories on all seven continents?? Why've you got them on Antarctica my dude??

"I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room." love when he's like that.

Don't they call Ten something like "the one who regrets" in the 50th anniversary special? Is that why he's always telling all his enemies and everyone he fails to save "I'm so sorry." I swear they call him the one who regrets and Eleven the one who forgets...and I'm gonna go crazy til we get tho that point.

Characters who learn to operate vehicles from video games are underrated. Except Mickey's not so bad at flying this zeppelin where as Spinner shouldn't have been allowed on the road...

I'm so proud of Mickey...(wait, then how DOES he come back later?)

Okay but low key I want the adventures of Mickey and Jack liberating the world from the clutches of the cybermen. Just think it would be neat.

[ghost-of-the-machine]

ughh

i keep having like? i keep having dreams where my mom protects me and its kind of upsetting me

why is it so frequent? i keep having them where she keeps me safe or says she'll always be here for me, and if its not my mom directly its some motherly figure protecting me. im like GROWN TOO im not a little kid but i always feel like i am, i feel so powerless, helpless, afraid.. and i hide behind my mom because she will keep me safe, right?

this time it was my sister, she was being so fucking mean to me like how she used to, to the point where like. i had to go in this building with her and her bf and she told me to get out of the car real hostile like and i was clearly scared and about to cry and my mom was like hey. we'll go together, okay? and she held my hand and the building? was like this dark like. SOME KIND OF LIQUOR/SMOKE SHOP, it stressed me out and then when my mom came with me it turned into a pretty candy store and she let my sibling get whatever they want but . im too conscious of our money so i didnt get anything before the dream switched

then i was at like? the store owner had these policies ensuring people didnt ABUSE THEIR KIDS in her store, saying like hey. if yr kid tries and steals something, ill catch them, no need to yell at them or get physical. if theyre loud, its alright, theres plenty of other kids here so its probably gonna be loud regardless like. idk it made me really sad cuz that meant she had dealt with it enough to make explicit rules about children being hurt or scared in her building. and immediately my brain knew she was someone i could trust

my family like left but . i got in the car with my moms husband instead cuz i thought they were gonna get in but he drove off too fast and then he was being really reckless and driving into oncoming traffic and shit and it was really scary cuz hes like. ive been in the car with him pulled over by the cops cuz he was speeding before he drives so horribly i feel so unsafe when he drives, and yknow who it makes me think of? my mom, because even if my mom has bad road rage, shes safer than him

the car crashed obviously and i was hurt and scared and i just wanted my mom and i managed to make it back to the candy store cuz it had like a proper daycare section now i guess?? and i dont know. my moms bf was like unhinged and i. ive had too many dreams where im afraid of him, afraid of what he'll do. i made it back to the place and i guess the kids there were also scared cuz they knew he was gonna come back and the lady was like reassuring us and she said that no ones getting hurt here, and that shes gonna do everything in her power to keep us safe

idk it made me feel good that like. even though i was obviously an adult she was still there to comfort me and assure me cuz i was fucking scared, just like the kids were i was terrified and she didnt exclude me from that safety

i think i have mommy issues guys 💀💀 i dont know why i keep having these dreams. maybe being neglected as a child makes you grow up too fast and then you suddenly cant be grown up enough when yr actually an adult. when they fight, i feel so small.. i feel like a child again, listening to violence thru the walls. i wish i could be brave, i wish i could be a MAN, be an adult, but im too scared..

why does my head crave that motherly comfort? i dont understand.. my mom isnt a bad mom. shes an okay mom, not a great PERSON, but an okay mom. shes done a lot for me and i appreciate it, but.. be there for me is not one of them. maybe im sad, maybe i wish i could have a mother that i can say with 100% certainty i love. i wish i could have a mom who was there for me and cared more about me and i wish she was .

she used to be really mean to me, after she kicked her bf out several years ago (got us nothing in the end cuz hes fucking back so whatever) . i think she missed fighting and needed someone to focus her anger on. i remember one time she came into my room and screamed at me for doing something wrong? something i DIDNT do, and then when she found out it was my sibling who did it, i guess she tired herself out cuz she just said whatever

it got so bad that like. everyone knew she was treating me unfairly. my siblings thought she was, i thought she was, and SHE thought she was. that time we were sitting in the car with my sister and she was like yeah im too mean to you, you dont deserve that. and i was just. quiet. what do i say? do i say 'yes, you are too mean to me'? probably not, my sister is my moms number one yes man, if i said anything implying my mom was less than an angel she'd direct her anger towards me. AGAIN. but i cant say no cuz that would be a lie. i just said it was fine and she said it wasnt and that was the end of it. i dont even remember if things changed

or like that time? she called me a disappointment for failing in highschool and when i jsut left, and went and sat in my siblings room, SOMETIMES she feels remorse and she comes and apologizes cuz i think deep down she does love me. but this time? no, she just came in and KEPT going, saying it was my fault and that she doesnt have shit to apologize for. okay!!!! that was when the elections were happening too , thats when she started becoming a worse person, more right wing yknow. its sad watching someone i used to admire dissolve into just.. garbage, yknow? ugh

i almost had a panic attack at my grandparents house one time cuz she raised her voice like. not AT me but i was still there and then my sister started harassing me when i got all quiet cuz i was SCARED and my brother and grandma tried to stick up for me but i just went to the back room and i couldnt fucking breathe. and then later my sister had the audacity? when we went to the park later she was like hey. btw. its not MY fault you were being weird like. whatever, fuck off

i wish i loved my family!!!!! i wish i had a family i was capable of loving. i wish i had a family who didnt hurt me, i wish i had a family that didnt make me feel like.. like im not always safe in my home. ive never ever felt safe, from my earliest memories to my most recent, its just.. carnage. dreadful

[beforeiforgetyou]

i miss the way she says my name

i miss the way she looks at me

i miss the way she calls me forty times in a row

i miss her facetimes

i miss her face

i miss her lips

i miss her hands

i miss looking at the scar on her knuckle and remembering the day she knocked me out

i miss pretending like i dont want to kiss her

i miss staring at her ass

i miss the ways he laughs at her phone but not at my jokes

i miss the way she only has an accent when she says a new word

i miss how she'll show up in at my house if i don't answer my phone

i miss watching her feet underneath dressing room doors

i miss the way she smells (i already said that but its so true)

i miss the way her pussy tastes

i miss the way walks too fast and i have to jog to keep up

i miss the way she cries

i miss the way she drives like a gd maniac

i miss the way her ass feels around my fingers and my dick

i miss the way her tumblr posts and anonymous messages

i miss her voice

i miss her smile- all of them

the sweet smile

the naughty smile

the fake smile

i miss them all

i miss going to the same 6 restaurants over and over because she doesn't like new places

i miss sitting in her car and saying nothing

i miss sitting in her car and talking about everything

i miss sitting in her car and digging out her holes

i miss when she hugs me and im too short so im really hugging her titties

i miss the way her skin feels, smooth and hot

i miss sticking my hand up her shirt or down her pants just to get a little closer

i miss her body

i miss that little scar she has from her surgery

i miss how she always says she has a headache like i dont already know

i miss her good morning texts

i miss her goodnight texts

i miss reading my shitty college essays to her until she halfway falls asleep

i miss masturbating to her while im sitting in my car

i miss sending doordash orders to her job

i miss shopping with her even though she always wants me to wait far away until its time to pay

i miss buying her all that shit she doesnt need

i miss her sending me things she wants

i miss the way she grabs me when i try to walk away

i miss rubbing her butt

i miss rubbing her clit

i miss calling her my good girl when she makes me cum

i miss the way it feels to hold her when she's sitting or we're lying down and it doesnt matter that im short

i miss pretending im not in love with her all day at work

i miss chasing her every time she leaves the room but trying not to make it seem obvious

i miss driving to her house in the middle of the night

i miss eating her pussy on my knees in her parents living room

i miss adding songs to that playlist and listening to it when im missing her

i miss sending her those songs even though she'll never listen to them

i miss her teeth; they're whiter than mine and they shine like diamonds in her mouth

i miss staying up all night writing love poems for her to read in the morning

i miss the way she touches my face or my cheek when im sad

i miss how she does anything to make me smile

i miss calling her my slut and slapping her ass

i miss how wet her pussy gets for me

i miss hating everyone at work that even speaks to her

i miss counting down the hours until i get to see her again

i miss sucking her nipples

i miss sticking my face between her shoulder and neck

i miss the way she always says no to me

i miss how she gets angry at me

i miss how she forgives me

i miss how she makes me feel like i am special

i miss how she tells me how amazing she thinks i am

i miss when she tries to grab my penis

i miss when she's sweet but then pretends she's not when really she's just a girl

i miss how she always put her feet up on the restaurant booths

i miss how she asks me where i want to eat and pretends like she's actually going to want to go to any of those places

i miss getting her drunk and taking advantage of her

i miss listening to her try to order the sweetest drink on the menu just to send it back anyways

i miss her dimple and a half

i miss her snapchats and making her my personal pornstar

i miss how smart she is

i miss how funny she is

i miss watching her go through seven tubes of chapstick a day

i miss how she always covers her mouth when something really makes her happy like she's embarrassed of her own joy

i miss how she gets angry when she's hurt and feels bad later

i miss how she gets frustrated with her family but she still does anything for them

i miss how she gets frustrated with me but still does everything for me

i miss the way she lets me touch her because when i do it i can feel how much she trusts me

i miss how she trusts me

i miss that stupid outfit she wears all the time

i miss her collection of ugly shoes

i miss how she never throws anything away

i miss how she's so independent and strong but i can still see that scared little girl in her sometimes

i miss how she always tries to satisfy me but never believes that i am

i miss that weird coughing sound she makes when her allergies are acting up

i miss those little golden hairs that her body is covered in

i miss running my hands down her back and watching her chest rise and fall with every breath

i miss listening to her yap about some stupid work stuff

i miss yapping to her about some stupid work stuff

i miss listening to her tell me all her hopes and dream and fears

i miss telling her all of mine too

i miss using every walgreens bathroom in orlando with her

i miss how she gets jealous when im talking to the stupid white girls at work

i miss closing my eyes when she drives because i swear she's going to kill me someday

i miss trying to make jokes with her at work but she doesn't have a clue what im talking about

i miss when she tries to talk about some "black" stuff but i dont have a clue what she's talking about

i miss the way she listens anyways

i miss the way she never makes me feel like less

i miss her phases when she pretends she wants nothing to do with me

i miss her phases when she can't go a minute without me

i miss fingering in while she's driving

i miss when she looks at me with love in her eyes

i miss when she looks at me with anger

i miss when she looks at me with fear

i just miss the way she looks at me in general but i think i already said that

i miss trying to figure out the things she doesn't tell me

i miss how she used to step on my feet at work

i miss slutting her out in different hotels rooms

i miss tell her i lover her

i miss telling her i miss her

i miss checking her tumblr a thousand times a day just to see what's on her mind

i miss crying with her for the things we both want but we know we cant have

i miss getting angry and horny for her at the same time

i miss when she tells me that she's going to take a nap even though we both know it wont work

i miss doing her homework for her

i miss sitting in my house and doing absolutely nothing but thinking about her

i miss the fact ive been writing this an hour and still have more to say

i miss her when she spends too long at the stupid gym

i miss how she tells me she needs to change her face and body because it just makes me love every part of her as-is even more

i miss the way she refuses to let me go

i miss the way i cant let her go either

i miss the feeling of standing next to her

i miss those times when she dont say anything to one another and just her presence is enough

i miss being her favorite guy

i miss how she loved me

i miss how she loves me

i fucking miss my favorite girl.

[ireallydontunderstandpeopleatall]

i was feeling depressed yesterday and pretty down bc

monday i stopped and fed a little brown dog that ive seen hanging out at a certain corner but he has not been consistently there. i told myself next time i see him i will stop and feed him bc its cold and i dont want him to be hungry too. so i parked and walked up and left him a plate of wet food and left. i noticed he did not look malnourish or too thin, not fat but healthy i guess i did snap a pic of him to post online if i hear of anyone looking for such a dog

tuesday i did not see little brown dog but driving down the narrow road in front of the trailer park a small white grey and black chihuahua ran out of there(where dogs usually run out of and many have died from vehicle accidents as u see dead animals in the grassy median, at one point there was 4) i stopped to try to pick it up out of the road and danger but it was scared of me and was running around in traffic to avoid me in which i believe i was making things worse but luckily had a dry dog food i sprinkled to the side of the road after a lady and her bf drove by and she suggested it and forced him to give me some of his pumpkin seeds he was snacking on, he had a look on his face like he was annoyed by me but fck him honestly. i made a trail of dog food and this is the premium bil jac that tastes good and the dog went for it and i lead the trail back to the trailer park in hopes it will keep doggy out of the main road. when i drove back the opp way after picking up my son i still saw the dog eating the food i left.

wednesday did not see grey and black chihuahua or brown dog in the morning. but at 8am, the house on the corner which i seen a hairy white dog in the backyard. i saw him out there laying in the grass and looked sad and i assumed he lived outside :( backyard is quite cluttered and stored with many things a dog can hide in, but being in the cold is still being in the cold.

that night i was so emotionally upset thinking of all the strays, lost or dogs that have to live outside, we had freezing temps this winter this is so concerning for me and sometimes when i think about it it makes me feel so depressed and i get this sadness so i try not to think of it. i just love dogs so much and my dog has changed my life and i just want them all to be happy and safe and fed and i know many tragedies and unfairness they have been through before me and will continue after me and the area i am looking out for is such a small area compared to the entire city, state, country, world but if i can just help 1 dog i will feel better.

thursday morning- this morning

i said i will go to yard of fluffy white dog and give him a bil jac dry food snack to try to cheer him up. i parked my car and walked up. he was no where to be seen but he is a barky little guy he was very expressive on monday when i was feeding the other dog. while taking a stroll by, 2 dogs ran out and starting barking at me. lo and behold! brown dog was in yard with white fluffy dog and it looks like they may have came from inside the house. i sprinkled some food and left. when i got in my car and drove away the dogs went back inside i am assuming bc they were no where to be seen as i was driving off. it put my mind to rest a bit knowing fluffly white dog is not an outside dog and that brown dog has a home and must get out and roam but still there is so many cars in the area.

[blackvail22]

9/24/23 — 1:10am

theres a lot that happened within the past two days its insane. on the 22nd, i had to train this new associate for the whole day. he's rlly nice, and he's fun to talk to. he caught on really quick! im excited to work with him

also, that same day, i got back with my ex!!! it could be a dumb decision (because this is the 3rd time) but i really want things to work out. again, no one is going to know besides you... and... my coworkers, but thats different

the coworker that gave me his number, he gave me a note at work that says "im awkward so i dont know how to say this out loud, but i like you" and then taped a soda tab on it (it was the "hug" meaning one, which... i dont like but could be worse). so! ive told the new associate i have a boyfriend. im going to tell them i have a boyfriend, but im telling those im closest to at work that its because i dont want my worker to hit on me anymore

if he keeps going after that, i have to report him. im not letting someone get away with that, not this time.

i have to start standing up for myself... im just scared because of that teenager who got killed because she rejected her (adult) co-worker, im afraid its going to be me. this is the reason i dont like hearing abt death.

on another note, back to abt my boyfriend....

im writing this as soon as i ended the call with him. i miss him already. i wonder how and why my brain changes how i react to things because of a label. i feel so clingy. i want to talk to him more. he does make me happy, and i hope i make him happy too

oh, i also bought this candle... its supposed to "smell like london" and it says the scent is "afternoon biscuits and tea" so thats nice. i bought it to think of you, nd its nice that the color of the candle matches my room

oh last thing ! i took my permit drivers test and i passed it! feels so surreal because i never thought i was ever gonna end up driving but here we are lol

anyways i like this song

6:06am —

dude i couldnt fall asleep until like 4:30am and my mom woke me up at 5:30, screaming at me to find something i didnt have!!! i found it! and it was in her bag, a place she didnt look (because she only looked one place!!!!!!) at least i can sleep now, but idek if i can do that because i feel awake now. im going to sob. FUVKKK I HAVE A HEADACHE AND SINUS PAIN NOW IM GOING TO CRY DUDE. and the fact that she walked up the stairs to scream at me (she never walks up the stairs)???? ooo. im so mad bro! like im going to wake up whenever i have my alarms set and im going to punch a wall because i cant sleep without getting interrupted. IM PISSED TF OFF NOW bevause i havent had adequate sleep since my last off day (a week ago) and i dont have a lot of sleep for tomorrow because i have to wake up at 6am for an appointment thats 2hrs away. sure, ill sleep in the car, but with my mom? she wont let it happen. and i dont have another off day untl thursday, and i cant sleep in for that one either becahse i have another goddamn appointment in the morning. like, is this what being an adult is? being harrassed by coworkers, never having enough sleep, never able to fall asleep.... it cant be cause those all haopened when i was a teenager too. stuck in that cycle, though, and i cant wait for that cycle to finally end.

bad things always tend to happen to me. is it because i bring bad energy? AHHHHHHH i just need to scream cry

i am going to try to sleep now. I've rambled on for way too long

11:17pm

been incredibly sad today. i think it was my lack of sleep, or maybe it was my mom yelling at me and waking me up. still, my heart feels so ... heavy. i cant help but feel bad for people who love me. if i was them, i would choose anyone else to love endlessly. im undeserving of it all, anyway. i dont feel happy tonight. i hope tomorrow's better. i dont know what changed and made me feel this way because when i woke up and went to work, everything was fine until half way through my shift. it didnt really effect me, but them saying "oh, fun's over.. [my name]'s in a bad mood again.. everyone get away" keeps playing in my mind. it didnt affect me then, so i dont know why i keep thinking about it

i just want to fit on my roof and look at the moon, but its been rising really early so i dont think ill be able to see it now. ill watch some livestreams from space of the earth/the moon instead. something to comfort me while listening to music. i havent been able to watch any videos all the way through recently.. havent even been able to watch those gaming streams i like. hopefully ill feel better before i go to sleep

[m1dn1ghtposts]

// tw: suicide, death, self harm, sexual assault, mental illness, vent //

00:22 am

i saw a post about wondering if your 12 year old self would be proud of you today, and i really thought about everything that’s happened. i’ve done some great things but some equally bad ones too, so in this post i’ll go through some of those.

- i graduated high school early with a high gpa

i also reached record suicide attempts when i switched schools, almost succeeded a couple of times, and relapsed into self harm… something she hated. i still pick at my skin, and think about joining my love pretty often. i was physically and verbally abused because a guy that tried to rape me while i was under the influence got mad when i rejected him. yeah i skipped a grade, but i lost everyone, and nobody believed in me until my name was read off at graduation. if i didnt have my partner at the time i would have broken down completely, theres no way i could come back from that much of a dark place and been okay.

- i got accepted into the college i wanted to go to

my car, the only thing that has consistently kept me hanging on to this life, was keyed while i was there. my roommates were toxic and lied to my partner to disrupt my relationship. i couldn’t focus on my classes because they would have people over until anywhere from midnight to 3am. i couldnt get a job because whenever i would show up in my usual dark outfits and makeup to any place in the little country town i would get great reviews as far as capabilities and qualifications go, but never a call back. id also get weird looks all the time, maybe im crazy and seeing things but when a bunch of boys say im scary looking and they feel threatened i dont always take it as a compliment. not to mention the sudden and horrific passing of my partner during finals, the event that drove me to dropping out. to this day im fighting for a refund, despite it all happening within the fall of 2022 semester.

- i drive a cool car and found a really neat interest

i hardly ever get compliments, and my car is damaged, though i’ll never say exactly where. theres chips in the paint where rust pokes through, a piece missing from my windows tint, sun damage on parts of my paint, scratches everywhere either from the keying or from her previous owners… i could point out every little flaw forever. i love my car so much, its crazy to me that i never realized earlier how much i love cars, but that doesn’t mean anybody else appreciates the work and money i put into my car to keep her clean and shiny. not to mention how misogynistic the car community is. its depressing to see some of the posts ive seen, saying how women terrible drivers and dont know anything about cars. not only is it depressing to see from some of my favorite content creators, but its making me want to stop trying. stop pouring so much effort into something nobody will appreciate except me. maybe this is dramatic, but its true to me. once every month or two it takes a few of my friends to convince me to keep trying and keep building her up, but when most of what i see is negativity its very hard to ignore. i dont need everyone to like my car, i dont need everyone to be accepting of women either, i just want to feel like im a part of a community i allign a lot with. isnt the whole point to bond over wanting to modify your car and watch the progress?

- i did great in band and survived all 3 years of marching band (remember, i skipped a year)

i havent touched my trumpet in forever and started smoking sophomore year from stress, right around the school change. i know its bad and will kill me someday, but do i really care? so what, im only alive today because of pure luck. its really sad to say, but i couldnt care less about when this all ends, all i want is to feel okay. i just want to have this small vice and if it kills me someday so be it. also, for every great achievement in band i screwed up a run equally as bad or just didnt even play the music. its hard to stay motivated in a place that hates you.

basically, for every achievement i can boast, there’s an equal or greater bad side to it. at least thats what it seems like. maybe im just negative, or maybe im realistic. why should i lie to myself anyways? my 12 year old self was great at every subject and at least tried to be happy and spread joy despite the bullying. she didnt know about her own abuse, from a family member no less. she didnt know why her step brother liked touching her privates or why he kept doing weird things with her dolls. now it just keeps happening, with everybody i hold close. not even just sexual assault, but manipulation ive learned to notice, straight up abuse that i never recognized. honestly, my current self sees no real value in doing really anything, i’ll lay in bed all day if i cant get up. i could have failed out of college and i couldnt even get a job until it was fully remote. i abuse my body and i cant stop, i dont know how. i smoked weed in college because i couldnt sleep or calm down and now most nights there are a blur, its all i had to cope while 1.5 hours away from my partner… when i had him. maybe its my fault, maybe i just screw up everything i touch like the inverse of midas. i cant tell, i just know im losing it.

[latetaektalk]

(road)tripping for you | jjk

“it was just supposed to be a roadtrip; your best friend, her boyfriend, his best friend, and you. but it gets a little more complicated (and a whole lot more awkward) when your best friend and her boyfriend have to drop out and you’re left to go on the trip with none other than jeon jungkook, a complete stranger. well, a complete stranger except for the fact that you hooked up two years ago.”

— genre: roadtrip! AU, strangers to lovers! AU, only-one-bed! AU, summer! AU, fluff, a bit of angst

— pairing: jungkook x female reader

— word count: 31.071

— warnings: cursing, light alcohol consumption, awkward situations, clichés

— playlist: click here

— a/n: alright im happy and incredibly nervous to present this baby !! its completely self-indulgent, cheesy as shit, and not really edited, so i hope you guys enjoy! id also like to thank lira @koocycle​ for listening to me cry about this fic!! couldnt have done this without you! also, this is my entry for @ficscafe​’s exchange event, written for @jeonsweetheart​​ !! i really do hope you enjoy this one and sorry that this is so long! i uh also stalked your blog a bit and was inspired by how you assign a song to every fic, so i did the same! hope you dont mind!! my pick for this au is “safety net” by ariana grande !!  also, the amazing and incredibly talented @st-octavius​ has drawn one of the scene which you can find here!! ​a huge honour, so please check it out and send her lots of love!! do be aware that it contains spoilers for the story!

— lyric: tripping, falling, with no safety net 

The summer is always too short.

The realisation comes to you while you’re waiting in the car and fanning yourself with a make-shift paper fan because the AC broke two weeks ago and you haven’t had the money to get it fixed yet, waiting for Sooyoung who just walked into the convenience store to buy some snacks. 

You look out to your left. The sun’s still high up in the sky for how late it is, bleeding its last bit of light into the clouds. Couples and families are walking past you, chatting and laughing, holding melting ice cream in their hands. You hear the laughter of children playing tag down the street, another handful are chasing each other with a water gun. Through the cracked window, you feel the warm and humid air come in, hitting your cheek. It’s at that moment you realise it.

It’s sad.

But at the same time, you realise it’s fitting. Summer arrives with magic every year—the nights somehow seeming endless, the days stuffed with almost suffocating and paralysing potential, indeterminate relationships and friendships, and the air filled with infinite possibilities and promises, all within reach, so close and still not close enough, a hopeful humming accompanying it. It’s reeling. 

So of course, time passes quicker. Of course, summer is fading and fleeting. Of course, it’s all over in the blink of an eye. It’s magical after all.

It’s that magic that prompted you to ask out your crush your sophomore year (you (fortunately) lasted less than a handful of months), that gave you the foolish courage to cut your hair with a pair of blunt kitchen scissors at two in the morning your junior year (it was a disaster), and made you climb out of your window Tangled style after you got grounded so you could spend the last days of summer with your friends under the night sky your senior year (some of the greatest nights of your life). 

It’s the same magic that provokes you to turn to Sooyoung and ask her this when she comes back with an armful of snacks (without the Cheerios you asked for though).

“You wanna go on a roadtrip?”

It’s a stupid idea you conclude halfway through planning.

Because three issues come up. First, neither of you have much saved up (read: barely anything), which makes paying for the hotel stays and the car you’re going to rent (since yours is shit and Sooyoung doesn’t have one) a lot more difficult. And second, Sooyoung can’t drive, which would make you the only driver, which obviously, you can’t be on a cross country roadtrip. Last but not least, Sooyoung’s and Namjoon’s two year anniversary is coming up, and while she hasn’t made it the official third issue, you know she doesn’t want to spend their anniversary apart.

But Sooyoung somehow comes up with a solution to all of the problems.

For the first (and third) issue, she suggests taking Namjoon with you. This way you can split the costs for the hotels and the car. And obviously, if he’s on the trip too, they won’t be apart during their anniversary. You’re more than happy with the solution. The same can’t be said about the solution she suggests for the second issue.

“Look, if he came along, we’d have a second driver and—” You walk over to the snacks section but Sooyoung follows you, her grocery list long forgotten. “—we could split the costs of the hotels and car by four!”

You closely examine two poorly designed bags of cookies, neither looking all that appealing, pretending like you couldn’t hear her. You go with the cheaper option.

“Y/N,” Sooyoung says and pokes you in the ribs. You flinch and almost drop the cookies. You give her a scowl. “Consider it?”

“I already said no.” You turn on your heel and walk away.

“Please, Y/N,” she whines, catching up with you and blocking your way. 

You purse your lips and narrow your eyes. “Can’t someone else come with? Does it have to be him?”

“Kook’s Joon’s best friend,” Sooyoung says, and you cringe at the nickname. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to her calling him that. “They’ve actually also talked about going on a roadtrip before, you know? So when I mentioned it…”

She trails off, but you don’t need her to keep talking. You know where she’s getting at.

“No, Soo, I just-” You cut yourself short, and shake your head. “It’s just so embarrassing. I bailed, dude. I didn’t even bother to wait for him to wake up and shit.”

The image materialises in front of your eyes; the morning you woke up next to the doe-eyed boy you never thought you would get this close to, or even talk to. It feels like a fever dream. Not only is it unlike you to hook up with a stranger, but of all people, you could have fallen into bed with it was Jeon Jungkook? Sometimes you’re convinced it was all just a fever dream, it never happened, until you remember you forgot your keys at his place in your haze. Your lost keys remain the only piece of evidence that stops you from convincing yourself you only hallucinated it all.

“Yeah, but it was two years ago!”

You scrunch your face. You’ve heard this all before, and you don’t want to hear it again, so you walk past Sooyoung and head for the checkout, placing the cookies on the conveyor belt. 

“Y/N, can’t you at least think about it?”

“I have.”

“No, you haven’t,” she hisses. “You immediately said no! You didn’t even take a second to consider it.”

You look at her. “Soo, you know exactly how I feel about this- him. Don’t force me to be stuck in a car with him, please.”

Sooyoung opens her mouth but is interrupted by the cashier. The arguing ceases then, and you’re grateful. The peace doesn’t last long though, Sooyoung picking up right where you left off as soon as you finish paying.

“You make it seem like you guys have some major history when you just hooked up. And that was two years ago! It’s been ages! There’s literally no reason for you to still avoid Kook.”

You dig out your keys and unlock your car, slipping into it just to regret it. You groan because even though you made sure to park in the shade, the sun had moved when you were in the store and turned your car into a goddamn sauna. You feel your skin glueing to your seat. Ew. 

You keep the door open to let in some air, and you’re about to tell Sooyoung to do the same, but she interrupts you.

“I actually think he has forgotten about you,” she says, and you toss the cookies in the backseat and tuck your hair out of your face, grabbing your make-shift paper fan. It doesn’t bring much relief, but it’s better than nothing. 

The comment, although you should be happy about it because it’s all you want, irks you the tiniest bit. Because you haven’t. You haven’t even begun to forget him, and the thought it might not be the same for him, that you didn’t leave a single mark in his mind, it hurts a bit

“You think?”

“I know.”

“And how do you know?” 

“Because in the past two years he’s never brought you up, or even alluded to you or the night,” she argues.

“That’s because he doesn’t know my name,” you say. “Probably only knows me by my face. I’m probably that dumb girl that left her keys at his place in his mind.”

Sooyoung sighs, rolling her eyes at your stubbornness. “He’s really nice! You’d know if you would have just gone out with us once.” 

When Sooyoung and Namjoon started dating, it didn’t take long for your two friend groups to grow into a big one, the two organising parties and meetups. You never participated in anything when there was even the smallest chance of Jungkook being there too. No one ever noticed.

“And he’s also really funny-”

“Date him then,” you mumble, which earns you a deserved hit against your arm.

“Y/N, you know I’m in a happy relationship with Joon!” 

“So you’d date him if you weren’t with-”

Another hit.

You laugh, but Sooyoung doesn’t join you, glowering at you instead, and you wonder how this conversation took this turn so quickly. Minutes ago she was giving you puppy eyes and begging you to think about it and now she’s scowling at you and scolding you like a mother.

“I’m serious, Y/N. And before you say we’ll do it next year, you know exactly we won’t. It’s like when you said you’d stop buying so many books this year, or when I said, I’d learn Spanish. The moment we postpone the trip, we’re not doing it anymore, and you know that.” Sooyoung stares into your eyes, waiting for you to say something. When you don’t—because unfortunately, she’s right, and you don’t want to admit that—, she sighs. She takes your hands into hers and tosses your paper fan to the side. 

“Hey-”

“Y/N, look,” you quiet down when you see the stare she gives you, “I don’t want to force you into anything. I’m gonna respect your boundaries if you really don’t want him on the trip—” You hear the ‘but’ before she even says it. “—but I promise you first, Kook doesn’t remember. Second, even if he does, he’s not gonna be weird about it. And third, I know he won’t be weird about it because Kook’s probably one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.”

You think Sooyoung’s done, but she opens her mouth again. “Also,” she sits up, “Joon and I are gonna be there too! So even if it’s weird, which I highly doubt, we’ll serve as buffers! And if you don’t wanna talk to him, you don’t have to either. No one’s saying you have to become friends with Kook, but it’s just-”

She deflates after. She can’t find the right words, but it’s fine. You know what she’s trying to say. You’re not stupid. Without Jungkook this trip won’t be happening. It’s as simple as that.

You sigh and close your eyes. You do realise how ridiculous how you’re acting right now. Like Sooyoung has pointed out, your history only consists of one drunken night. It’s barely anything. Bits and pieces. Scraps really. But it’s enough to have your cheeks burning up.

But if Sooyoung’s right, if Jungkook has actually forgotten about you (which wouldn’t be so unlikely since it’s been two years and you’re sure he’s hooked up with other girls in the meantime), you really don’t have anything to worry about. But if Sooyoung’s not right and he brings it up, you’re fucked. You don’t think you can handle the embarrassment, the questions of why you so rudely fled in the morning. 

On the other hand, you really do want to go on the roadtrip. You think it’d be the perfect way to spend the summer, stretch it out a bit more, fill it with memories you’re going to look back on fondly in a few years. You think it would be the perfect way to savour the summer. It’s all you want, to spend time with your best friend and make memories.

You look at Sooyoung. She’s still staring at you. She’s going to wait for your answer, however long it takes. Because (and you know that) she’s convinced it might just be a ‘yes’. You heave out a sigh.

She’s right, unfortunately. You hope the same will be the case with Jungkook.

“Fine.”

It’s almost comical how quickly her face lights up, the corners of her lips turning up into a gigantic grin.

“Wait, really?” she gasps quietly, clasping her hands together, almost like in a prayer. “You’re sure about this?”

No, you’re not, not even a bit. But the things you would do to ensure a great summer with your best friend. You sigh and nod. Just as Sooyoung’s about to burst, you shove your finger into her face.

“But promise me,” you stare her down, “that you’ll stick with me. You can’t leave me hanging!”

She quickly nods, so vigorously you think her head’s going to fall off. “I won’t. I won’t. Don’t worry, Joon doesn’t exist on the trip. You’re my sole focus, I swear.”

“So you promise me?”

Sooyoung stares you down. “Y/N, I promise you I won’t leave you hanging.”

You smile at each other. It’s decided then. Jungkook’s coming on the trip too. You can already feel regret building up in you.

“Also, we gotta get back inside. I didn’t buy shit.” Sooyoung produces her grocery list from her pocket.

You roll your eyes. “You better be quick.”

In your years of friendship with Sooyoung, she has only ever let you down two times. 

The first time was in your sophomore year when you had just begun dating your first boyfriend and told your parents you were going to stay over at her place and she screwed up covering for you, which led to you getting a three hour long lecture on honesty and being in a relationship so young.

The second time was two years ago when she forgot to tell you she was going to leave the party early with a certain dimpled boy from her Chem class because you’re convinced if she had, you wouldn’t have wandered around looking for her and landed in the arms of a certain doe-eyed boy. Yes, you blame Sooyoung for you hooking up with Jungkook, at least partially.

But those two occasions were the only times she’s ever let you down. Today, however, marks the third time, and this time it’s bad.

Because when Jungkook pulls up to your apartment, Sooyoung and Namjoon aren’t standing next to you like they should be. And they’re also not running late. No, they’re in a completely different city.

Your emotional state is confusing; somehow you’re nervous and pissed off at the same time. It’s hard to find a balance, to think straight with both emotions brewing inside you.

You think time stretches thin when you watch Jungkook park and get out, eyes meeting yours before searching for the two familiar faces. You can’t figure out if he recognises you or not as he walks up to you. Your heart tumbles more and more with every step he takes.

“Hey,” he greets you, and you can see traces of a smile on his lips.

You search for something in his eyes, anything that will tell you if he remembers you, if you look familiar to him at all, but you find nothing. Either there’s really nothing and Sooyoung’s right, or you’re simply too nervous to process this entire thing to analyse the situation at hand.

“Uh, hi,” you breathe out, sounding vaguely out of breath and reedy. You scrunch your nose.

“Where’s Joon and Soo?”

And with that question, you decide he doesn’t recognise you. Maybe you’re wrong, but it’s the conclusion you decide to come to. It’s the only one that allows your voice to gain some firmness, that allows your mind to clear up a bit, that has the nervosity simmering down to a light bubble, allowing space for your anger at the situation at hand.

“They’re not here.”

“Wait,” he frowns, and looks behind you, like maybe he overlooked them somehow, “where are- oh, are they late? Did they text-”

He’s about to pull out his phone, but you stop him, dropping the news on him.

“They’re not coming.”

Jungkook snaps his gaze to you then, a knit forming between his brows.

“What do you mean they aren’t coming?” 

He stares at you with huge eyes, doe eyes so big you think they’re about to fall out. One good slap on the back of his head and they’re out. You’re sure. 

You sigh and close your eyes, your jaw on the verge of breaking. Sooyoung’s dead.

“They just called me,” you hold up your phone as if you needed proof, “and well, turns out they’re out of town and stuck there because the railway companies went on strike.” 

You press your lips together. “They aren’t coming.”

Jungkook stares at you like you’ve just grown a second head, and you can’t blame him. It took you a number of “Wait, wait, wait, what?”s and “You’re kidding, right?”s to process this information too.

He presses his hand to his forehead. “So, what?” The knit between his brows deepen as he comes to the same realisation you came to just a few minutes prior, leading to you cursing out Sooyoung over the phone. “It’s just you and me? No Joon? No Soo?”

You reluctantly nod.

Jungkook blinks at you in total five times before he reacts again, his face morphing into something you can’t pinpoint. It’s something between worry and fear, you think.

“Can’t we go pick them up?” he suggests, a proposal you’ve already made.

“No,” you begin and look into the distance, repeating what Sooyoung told you over the phone. “The issue is that we already booked all of our hotels, so if we were to pick them up, our reservations would fall through. And no, they also don’t let you reschedule either. I guess that’s the service you get when you book the cheapest hotels possible.”

You can see Jungkook think, desperate to find a solution to this. You want to tell him that you’ve thought about it all already, that you don’t want to go on a roadtrip with just him either, but you refrain, pressing the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth.

He lets out a hollow chuckle when he comes up with no solution. The sound arises from the back of his throat. It’s meant to lighten the mood, you think. “Well, what fucking genius suggested booking our hotels beforehand?”

You let the question hang in the air for a moment, scrunching your nose and looking down to your shoes before answering, fingers fumbling in front of your stomach.

“I did.”

Jungkook quiets then. Maybe you should have bitten your tongue and not said it.

“Well, I mean,” he scrambles, “you couldn’t have known-”

“I mean it’s not just the hotels,” you interrupt, probably saving Jungkook from embarrassing himself further and possibly even insulting you again. “We also already rented the car.” You gesture behind him. “And Soo and Joon also don’t want to inconvenience us. They said they’d take the next train back and try to, uh, catch up with us.”

He nods then. A prolonged silence stretches between you like gum, sticky and gross. You don’t look at him, and he doesn’t look at you. 

In the end, he speaks first again, clearing his throat. “So, uh, we’re going on this trip together then?”

You press your lips together and tuck a strand behind your ear, still refusing to meet his gaze. It’s almost ironic how good the weather is today, perfect for a roadtrip, a roadtrip you no longer want to go on.

“Unless you want your money to go to waste, yeah, seems like it.”

Jungkook stares at you, and then nods. You look down at your suitcase and put your hand on it. 

This is happening.

You heave out a long sigh.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Sooyoung tells you, and you know there’s an apologetic look plastered on her face. But it does nothing to calm your anger, your grip on your phone only tightening. “I genuinely feel so bad, Y/N. I swear. I’m truly so sorry.”

“If you’re so sorry—” You look out the window to make sure he’s nowhere. All you see is a stressed-out father hushing his kids back into the car, the gas pump still in his right hand. “—how about you get your ass here right now?”

Sooyoung’s quiet for a moment, and you know she’s looking over to Namjoon. She sighs under her breath, running a hand through her hair. 

“Y/N, I explained it to you, I-I can’t,” she whispers, sounding as guilt-ridden as she did when she called you to tell you she screwed up covering for you. “I wish I could, but we’re stuck here. We-we can’t get away.”

You shut your eyes, feeling the rigidness of your jaw. Deep down, you know this is out of Sooyoung’s control. Still, you can’t help but spit, “I just don’t get why you guys had to go out of town a day before our trip! Just- what were you thinking?”

It’s then that you hear Namjoon in the background ask Sooyoung to hand him the phone, and although she tries to protest, the next thing you hear is his voice.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Joon, hey.” You try your best to not sound annoyed, emphasis on try.

“Please don’t be mad at Soo. This is my fault. I’m the one that organised this and brought her out here. So blame me.”

You curse under your breath. When Namjoon does this—taking full responsibility for everything, putting the blame solely on himself—, you find it incredibly hard to stay mad. And it’s all you want to be because you’re stuck in a shitty situation. You need to be mad! You have every right to! 

You heave out a sigh and curse. “I guess neither of you could have foreseen this, huh?” 

You can practically hear Namjoon nod, and knowing him, he’s probably making his ‘yeah, exactly!’ face, the one Sooyoung adores so much. 

“Yeah, this was just meant to be a one-day thing for our anniversary, you know?” 

You cringe in disgust and annoyance, not wanting to be reminded that the only reason why Sooyoung and Namjoon are out of town right now is because he wanted to be a romantic and spend some time on their own for their anniversary. You feel awfully single and lonely all of a sudden. 

“I’m sorry.”

You close your eyes. “It’s fine.” 

There’s a moment of silence, and you know exactly what Sooyoung’s about to ask. Your face sours when you turn out to be right. 

“Uh, where’s Kook by the way?” 

“He’s getting gas,” you say. He’s certainly taking his time, you think. You don’t mind now because you get to talk to Sooyoung for a bit, but you hope it won’t be like this for the rest of the trip.

“How’s it going?” she asks, and you hate that you can hear the smile on her face. “You guys bonding?”

“You know if I hadn’t paid for the car and hotels already, there would be no way I’d be here right now, right? If I could have somehow cancelled it all and gotten my money back, I would have?” you tell her, wanting- no, needing to make it very clear to her that you aren’t on this trip by choice, that if you could have not gone and still gotten all of your money back, you would have.

“But for your information, no, we’re not bonding. We just drove in silence for the last ten minutes until he pulled over for gas. It was awful,” you spit.

“Well, I’m sure it won’t be like this for the rest of the trip. Right, Joon?”

And like the supportive boyfriend that he is, Namjoon’s quick to agree. “Yeah, Kook’s really shy and awkward with strangers.”

“You guys just need some time to warm up,” Sooyoung adds, and you hope it’s just that.

“Or I was right,” you mutter, shuddering at the thought. 

So far he hasn’t mentioned anything, but so far your interactions were limited, consisting of you explaining the dilemma you were in, you struggling to load your suitcase into the trunk, a process in which he got into the car and watched you in the rearview mirror, and you two sitting in silence before he (rather abruptly) announced he needed gas and turned into the next gas station.

You don’t remember this awkwardness hanging between you two years ago. But truth be told, you only remember the night in fragments, like a montage in a film, a few handful of images stuck in your brain, nothing concise, pieces of an unfinished film roll—the smile he gave you when you accidentally ran into him, the laugh he coaxed out of you with a joke you wouldn’t remember even if you had been sober at the time, the game of beer pong you won together; and at some point, his place, sitting on the couch, whispers of are you sure? spoken into one another’s ears, whispers that turned from questions into something more delicate, and slowly, also more daring; the taste of alcohol on his lips when he first kissed you, brief and shy, before diving back in, braver this time, almost eager; tender hands that quickly wandered, going beyond where they should be, pieces of garments discarded left and right, a trail to his bedroom; the layer of sweat coating your skin, the air you gasped for however stifling, before finally, in the end, slumber, quiet and peaceful, with smiles on your faces.

You shudder. For once, you want nothing more than to be wrong. You don’t want him to remember you. And before you can hear Sooyoung assuring you of just that (because obviously, that’s what she’s going to say), the sight of Jungkook walking out of the gas station, hands full with snacks, catches your eye.

“Oh.”

That’s why he was taking so long.

“‘Oh’? What did you see?”Sooyoung asks, and you’re too confused to answer her. “Y/N?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry.” You snap out of it. “He’s, uh, coming back. Gotta hang up.”

“Well, yeah, go hang up. Please have a fun time with-”

You end the call before Sooyoung can finish, partially because Jungkook’s getting awfully close, but mostly because you don’t want to hear the rest of her sentence.

“Hey,” he mumbles quietly when he slips inside and you return his greeting, adding a quick and awkward wave too, gripping your phone. “Sorry for the- for keeping you waiting.”

You wave him off. He stares at the snacks. You think he’s going to hand you a bag, offer you some chips or nuts, tell you it’s meant for your trip, to keep your stomachs full, but he just reaches behind and puts them in the back. (After all, you’ve got more than enough space.) 

So those are for him, you conclude with a scrunch of a nose, just for him. But that’s alright. He’s not obligated to buy you snacks too, or share them. You’re mere strangers after all. Still, your jaw grows rigid, and you look off to the side to hide it.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook do a double take when you take out your earphones. You don’t care. If he wasn’t going to buy you snacks, you’re not going to sit here in silence and twiddle your thumbs.

You don’t pay any attention to the song you’re blasting through your earbuds, much more focused on being the worst passenger possible. 

You unlock your phone.

[You - 10:33] : he bought snacks

[sooyoung !! - 10:34] : OH

[sooyoung !! - 10:34] : thats so cute :((

[You - 10:34] : for himself only

[sooyoung !! - 10:34] : wait what

[sooyoung !! - 10:34] : just for himself???

[You - 10:34] : he put them into the back

[You - 10:34] : didnt offer me anything

[sooyoung !! - 10:34] : oh

[sooyoung !! - 10:35] : well joon did say he’s shy

[sooyoung !! - 10:35] : he probably doesnt know how to interat with you

[You - 10:35] : youd never make these types of excuses for any other guy

[sooyoung !! - 10:35] : wait are you on your phone rn?

[You - 10:35] : nah im texting you on a brick

[sooyoung !! - 10:35] : y/n

[You - 10:35] : wdym am i on my phone?? obviously??

[sooyoung !! - 10:35] : you cant be on your phone!! thats so rude

[sooyoung !! - 10:35] : you’re being such a bad passenger

[You - 10:35] : hes being a bad driver by only buying himself snacks

[sooyoung !! - 10:36] : put down your phone

[sooyoung !! - 10:36] : dont make me block you

[You - 10:36] : lmao like youd dare

[You - 10:36] : you dont have the balls for it

And when your last message doesn’t go through, you freeze. You type up a handful more, none of them deliver. This is a joke, you think. Sooyoung must be messing with you. She’s unblocking you any second now. She has to. She’s your only escape from this! She can’t leave you hanging, again.

But she does.

You close your eyes and swallow the sigh, not even able to begin to fathom the situation you’re in right now: you’re going on a cross country roadtrip with Jeon Jungkook, who happens to be a mere stranger to you aside from the fact, of course, that you hooked up two years ago and you fled his apartment like your life depended on it. But not only that, Sooyoung, your supposed best friend, who has let you down once already today, just fucking blocked you. You think the universe has fun seeing you in misery and-

“... please?”

You take out an earbud. “What? Sorry?”

“Oh, I just-” Jungkook clears his throat, and you realise he’s not really looking at you, eyes dancing around. “I asked if you could hand me a water bottle.”

You blink at him before taking out your second earbud. “Sure, yeah.”

“I should have one in my bag,” he tells you, pointing behind. “You see it?”

You do. It’s in the far corner. There’s no way you’re reaching that. Your bag, however, is a lot closer. So you take out your water bottle.

“Here. Couldn’t get to your bag, so if you don’t mind, you can, uh, drink from mine,” you tell him and try to hand Jungkook your water, but he’s too focused on looking at the road, his hand grasping air several times. 

“Thanks,” he says when he finally gets a hold of it. Five attempts, you count. You bite away your smile. You fail though when you see how much Jungkook struggles to unscrew the bottle. And when he brings it to his lips with shaky hands, you think you’re about to laugh. You don’t though, and reach out to help him instead, steadying the bottle.

“Oh,” he says, surprised, and takes two big gulps. “Thank you.”

You hum and take the bottle from his lips, grabbing the lid too and screwing it back on. You doubt he’ll be able to do it. You don’t bother putting the water bottle back, keeping it in your lap instead. 

For the next ten minutes, it’s silent again. You don’t go on your phone again, not because you feel bad and don’t want to be a shitty passenger. No, definitely not that. You don’t go on your phone again because you don’t want to. 

You watch the traffic, and after a while, you let out a yawn. You think it’s a combination of the mundane view and the fact you barely slept yesterday. You rub your eyes, a gesture that prompts Jungkook to look over to you.

You turn to him too, thinking he’s going to say something. He opens his mouth, but clamps it shut the next second. You blink a handful of times and raise a brow because what was that? But you don’t bother asking him, deciding to look away too. 

And even though you didn’t make a fool of yourself, he did, you feel deeply embarrassed too. Heat crawls up your neck and settles on your cheeks. You think the Germans have a word for that. They call it fremdschämen. Well, you’re fremdschämen-ing.

“If, uh, you-”

You snap your head around. Jungkook isn’t looking at you, eyes dead set on the road, almost like he can’t bring himself to direct his gaze your way.

“Yeah?”

Jungkook takes a deep breath and collects himself. Before he begins to speak, he clears his throat, “If you’re tired, you can nap for a bit. I wouldn’t mind.”

“Oh,” you blurt out, shaking your head to snap out of it. “Thanks, uh, for the offer. I appreciate it. But I’m not tired.”

And even though you can see that he wants to argue with you, bring up how you just yawned, Jungkook closes his mouth.

It’s silent. It feels like a decade passes by. 

“If you’re tired,” you say, remembering to return the offer, “just tell me and we can switch.”

“Yeah, but I’m not tired.” He waits a moment. It feels like another decade passes by. “So you can, uh, nap for a bit if you want to.”

You can’t help but smile a bit at his words. It’s a nice thing of him to say. “Thanks. I’ll just see what happens.”

“Alright.” He nods. “You mind if I put on some music?”

You gesture for him to go ahead. “Not at all.”

You don’t recognise the song Jungkook plays, but you like it. You like it so much you ask him for the title.

“It’s, uh, ‘Never Not’ by Lauv,” he tells you, and you perk up at the name of the artist. You know him.

“I think I’ve got one of his songs saved.” You pull out your phone to see which one it is, unable to recall the title. 

“‘Paris in the Rain’?” Jungkook says, and you snap your finger at his words.

“Yeah, that’s it!” you say, screwing your eyes shut and pressing your hand to your temple. “How could I forget?”

He smiles at you then, and you mirror him.

And when you fall into silence again after this, it feels a lot less awkward. It’s then that you realise you’ve completely forgotten about your history, the dread that plagued you before at the thought of being in the same car as Jungkook. It disappeared for a moment, but now that you’ve thought about it again, it appears again. You curse yourself.

But before you can spiral, go back to awkwardly sitting in your seat and looking out the window and feeling completely mortified, Jungkook looks over to you. This time he speaks the first time.

“Hey, can I ask?” He doesn’t wait for you to tell him yes. “How did you meet Soo?”

You have to smile at the question. “It’s a long story,” you warn.

“Well,” Jungkook laughs, “I think we might have time.”

You would have rolled your eyes at him for his smartass comment if you knew him better. But since you don’t, you refrain and begin the story instead.

“We went to the same middle school.”

And then you tell Jungkook how Sooyoung and you started by hating each other, for reasons neither of you know. (It was hate at first sight, Sooyoung always likes to say.) You recall how your hatred spawned a series of snarky side comments, snide looks, and scoffs over a period of one year. In the end, it was a boy that brought you together, well, your mutual hatred for him. 

Wongshik was his name. He transferred to your school. More importantly, he was obnoxious, loud, arrogant, and overall, incredibly annoying. Class with him was horrible, so horrible Sooyoung and you couldn’t stop cussing him out during break. And ever since, you two have been joined at the hip. You no longer talk about Wongshik, barely think about him anymore. But you are, in a really weird way, incredibly thankful for how annoying he was. You aren’t sure you would have found one another if it hadn’t been for his obnoxiousness.

“How did you meet Joon?”

Jungkook waves you off. “Our story isn’t that great.”

“You don’t want to tell?”

“Well,” he hums, “I don’t mind. I just don’t think it’s all that exciting. We didn’t go from enemies to friends, you know?”

“I’m sure it’s still great,” you try, and Jungkook scratches his neck, sighing in the end.

“We got assigned as partners for an art project in high school.”

“And then?” 

It’s after you’ve asked the question that it dawns on you that there’s nothing to it, seeing the pink that dusts his cheeks a second too late.

“Nothing. That’s it,” he coughs and shrugs. “We became friends after that.”

“Oh.” It’s all you can say for a moment. “Well, that’s a cute story too!”

Jungkook levels you with an unconvinced look. You hold his gaze for a second before cracking.

“I tried.”

He hums. “I appreciate it.”

And then, you share a laugh. It’s short but genuine. It’s enough, more than you ever expected. This isn’t so bad, you think.

You don’t fall asleep for almost another two hours. The exhaustion sneaks up on you though, slowly coming on around the one hour mark. You don’t know if Jungkook notices, but once he switches to his lofi songs, it starts to lull you to sleep. 

It’s the sound of the seat belt snapping back that wakes you up.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Jungkook apologises when he sees you peel your eyes open. “The seatbelt was jammed and I-”

He stops when you wave him off, a soft smile on your lips. 

“It’s fine. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” you tell him, voice still thick with sleep. You yawn and rub your eyes, taking in your surroundings. You’re at a rest stop. “Why did we stop?”

“Uh, toilet break,” he admits, not daring to look at you when he speaks. Adorable, you think. Does he think you don’t pee too?

“Yeah, what time is it?” you ask and stretch as much as you can, your joints cracking in relief. 

Jungkook shows you his phone, and you think you must be hallucinating when you see you’ve been asleep for the past three hours. You’ve been on this trip for four hours now, and you slept for more than half of it. Not only that, Jungkook had to drive all this time. Great, so where’s your award for being the world’s shittiest passenger?

“God, fuck, I’m sorry. I slept so much.”

“What? No, don’t apologise! It’s fine,” Jungkook quickly assures you and gives you a smile. “Don’t worry about it.” He pauses, and looks off to the side when he says it. “I’m glad you got some rest.”

You don’t know what to say to that, your mouth drying up at his words. Your brain is especially slow, still half asleep. So you end up not saying anything. Which is probably the worst thing you can do because an awkward silence hovers around you.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you tuck your hair away, “you said you needed to pee?”

“Right, yeah, yes, I did. I said that. I gotta pee, yeah.” Jungkook clears his throat, and even though you’re not facing him, he knows you’re cringing. Even he is cringing at himself. 

“Let’s just… go.” You click off your seatbelt and get out before Jungkook can even answer. You throw the door shut and begin walking, not waiting up for him. And as you make your way to the little convenience store, you shove your earbuds back in. Maybe you’re being a little rude, but you can’t bring yourself to deal with this right now. You just woke up for God’s sake!

Inside, you beeline for the snacks, needing to look busy. You pick up a bag of chips and pretend to read the back. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook head towards the restrooms, and you think you catch him glancing in your direction. You refuse to think about it.

You read the ingredients lists like you know what any of these things are. It’s stupid, you know, but it’s the only thing keeping you sane since panic texting Sooyoung isn’t an option anymore. Your music blasting through your earbuds helps too. 

However, it’s also your downfall. You don’t even hear him approach you.

“Hey.” 

You instinctively take out your earbuds. The wrong move because you can no longer pretend you can’t hear him.

His greeting sounds harmless enough, friendly some might even say, but when you look at him, you know you’re in for it. God, fuck. It’s obvious. His smile gives it away, the corners of his lips turned up a little too much. You already know, getting him to leave you alone won’t be easy at all. 

“Uh, hi,” you mumble before pretending to go back to reading when really, his presence is the only thing you can focus on. You’re more than aware of how close he is to you, too close.

“I’m Minki,” he tells you, and you give him a hum, regretting not buying those big noise-cancelling headphones. “And you-?”

He inches closer to you. Your grip around the bag of chips tightens. You swallow and take a step back. Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe he’ll get the hint. He doesn’t. He steps closer.

“Uh, I’m Y/N,” you mumble, voice weak, your heart beginning to thump a bit louder. You look around yourself. No one is here. The store is hauntingly empty. You feel your throat tighten. You are on your own.

“Y/N?” he repeats, and you don’t think you’ve ever had anybody say your name like that. On his tongue it sounds wrong, sticky somehow. He emphasises the wrong syllables, rushes and slurs the wrong letters. 

“I like it.” His smile widens. “Fitting for someone as pretty as you, sweetcheeks.”

And you think you’re going to retch. No, seriously. You think you’re going to start dry heaving in the corner right fucking now. Disgust doesn’t even begin to describe how you feel. You don’t think there’s anything grosser than a guy unironically calling you sweetcheeks. You want to throw yourself in front of a car.

“It’s Y/N,” you assert, your face hardening.

“Oh, do you not like sweetcheeks?” he asks and smiles innocently at you. Your jaw locks at his question. “Babydoll then?”

Your grip on the bag of chips tightens, the sound of it crinkling pierces the air. But he never looks away from you, eyes relentlessly staring into yours. He’s trying to get you to break and crack, to cave. He wants to see you squirm, enjoys it, you know that. It takes you everything to not give him the satisfaction he’s craving. Especially when he dares to take a step closer to you.

“Buttercup?” He raises a brow. “How about we talk about it in my car? It’s parked just outside.” 

He points to the doors, like you care where his stupid car is parked. 

You grit your teeth, heart pounding in your chest at this point. He takes another step towards you, and you take one back. You’re about to hit the wall. He’ll have you trapped then. You swallow.

It requires all of your courage to keep your voice level. “Please leave me alone.”

“But why? I feel like there’s a connection here, baby-”

“Connection?”

Your knight in shining armour comes just in time. You’ve never believed in perfect timing, but you might now, convinced Jungkook has it. 

Relief flushes through you at his sight, something you never thought his appearance would elicit. So far it has only ever been apprehension and anxiety. It’s a welcome change.

“I don’t think so, buddy.” 

And even though Jungkook’s smiling, he looks scary. There’s a threat tucked between his teeth, pulling on the upturn of his lips. It’s not directed at you, and still, you swallow. The guy’s actually a bit taller than Jungkook, but he looks shorter, probably because he’s cowering under Jungkook’s gaze.

He puts on a brave face though, a frown settling on his features. “Don’t call me buddy. My name’s Minki-”

“Well, you just called my girlfriend baby, didn’t you? Why can’t I call you buddy then?” Jungkook laughs, but it’s hollow and mocking. “What? You don’t like it when people don’t call you by your name?”

You make sure to make no movement or sound. Not that it would make a difference. They are far too invested in staring each other down to pay you any attention. You could have probably knocked over the display, and they still wouldn’t have turned to you.

“I-”

“What do you even want?” Jungkook interrupts, words sharp like daggers, snapping off from his teeth. “What are you talking to my girlfriend for, huh? Interested in sharing maybe?”

Jungkook doesn’t put an arm around your waist or pull you close to him. You think he would, expect him to, but all he does is stand close enough to you to not raise any suspicion. You wouldn’t mind if he did, but you appreciate him making an effort to respect your boundaries even in this situation. 

“I was just trying to be nice,” the guy mumbles, disgruntled and annoyed. “No fucking need to get all defensive and shit.”

Jungkook quirks a brow at his attitude. He tongues his cheek. His features darken. 

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” he spits and you think you hear a growl too. The smile stays on his lips, and you think that makes him even more intimidating than if he had just dropped it.

You find absolutely zero traces of awkwardness in Jungkook’s words. It’s like he’s unlocked another version of himself, a confident and confrontational one. You’re in awe, to say the least.

“Who are you calling defensive? You’re the one that just dared to bother my girl,” Jungkook hisses like a snake, on the edge of attack, his eyes fixed on him. You don’t think anyone has ever called you their girl before. It has your heart rumbling in your chest.

“Look, I was just-”

“Trying to be nice?” Jungkook scoffs and clicks his tongue. “Go be nice somewhere fucking else.”

The guy looks ready to protest, nostrils flared and chest heaving with deep breaths, but when Jungkook takes one step closer to him and levels him with a glare that would have hell freeze over, he backs away. Of course, not without hissing something about Jungkook being unreasonably hostile and him just wanting to be nice. Jungkook doesn’t jump on it. He just drills his eyes into the guy’s back until he’s out of sight. And the moment he’s out of sight and earshot, Jungkook relaxes and backs off from you, stepping out of your personal space.

“You alright?” 

You almost get whiplash by how quickly his demeanour changes. It’s like a whole new person is standing in front of you.

“Uh, y-yeah,” you stammer dumbly, unable to quite wrap your head around what just happened. “I’m alright. Yeah, uh, thanks.”

“You don’t gotta thank me,” he tells you and rubs the back of his neck, looking shy, and you don’t know how to make do with the different versions of Jungkook presented to you right now. You’re fascinated by how he seamlessly shifts between being both awkward and confident. It should be impossible, but he does it, somehow.

“You wanna get those, uh, chips?” he coughs and takes them from you before you can answer. You don’t, but you don’t find it in you to tell him that. You follow him to the checkout counter.

The clerk comes out from the back and silently rings you up. You’re about to pull out your wallet when Jungkook beats you to it and puts a five-dollar on the counter and slides it over.

“Wait, no, let me-”

“It’s fine,” he tells you, waving you off. The clerk takes the money before you can tell him not to, and you’re left to put away your wallet.

“I’ll pay you back,” you say, and Jungkook shakes his head and gives you the bag of chips. He’s about to repeat himself, but he stops when he sees the guy from before. 

You thought he would leave the store, but you guess you shouldn’t have had any expectations for someone like him. Your face sours when you realise he’s standing right between you and the exit. 

Before you can think of ways to avoid him, Jungkook takes your hands into his, fingers perfectly slotting with yours. You look down, the sight making your stomach twist in your stomach—his tattooed hand cupping yours.

“Let’s go.” He gives you a smile over the shoulder. And somehow, that gives you the confidence to walk past the guy from before with your head held high.

By the time you’re back in the car, you’re smiling.

“Thank you,” you tell him again, and Jungkook waves you off.

“Anytime.”

You put the chips to the other snacks in the back and pull the seatbelt across your chest. “He looked so scared of you.”

“As he should be,” Jungkook laughs and you hum. He slots the keys into the ignition, seatbelt strapped in place. 

“Can’t believe you just did that,” you mumble when you pull out of the gas station, spotting the guy walking out of the store from the corner of your eye.

Jungkook laughs again. “Sorry if I made you, uh, uncomfortable by the way,” he mumbles, and you sit up.

“What? No, you didn’t!” you quickly assure him. “Don’t worry.”

“Yeah?” He chuckles. “Just, uh, so you know I didn’t step in because I thought you couldn’t handle yourself or anything, but I just,” he avoids your gaze, “couldn’t help myself. He was being so aggressive and pushy- I just had to step in, you know? He triggered something in me- I don’t know.”

You smile. “It’s fine.”

Jungkook glances your way as if to make sure you weren’t lying to him. He smiles when he sees no trace of deception in your eyes.

You let a beat pass. “I do have to say,” Jungkook stares at you with big eyes, clearly expecting the worst, “I was surprised by your… confidence.”

“Oh.” And then he laughs, hiding half of his face in his hand. “Yeah, uh- I-I can’t explain it either.” 

He clears his throat, and you let him take his time to find the words. Jungkook sighs at his inability to form a sentence. 

Finally, “I’m sorry for being so awkward,” he looks your way for a split second before focusing on the road again, grip tightening around the steering wheel. He clears his throat one more time. “I just-I just don’t wanna mess this up, you know? You’re Soo’s best friend and she’s dating Joon- and I know she means everything to him, so I don’t want to make a bad impression as his best friend, you know?”

You learn once he starts, Jungkook doesn’t stop, words spilling from his lips in an endless stream.

“I’ve been told I give off a rather unfriendly and rude vibe too. Like I know how shitty I must have looked when I, uh, didn’t help you with your suitcase, and when I kinda insulted you before- also, actually, the snacks I bought earlier?” He gestures behind him. “They were meant to be for you too. For some reason, I just... couldn’t offer them to you?” He shakes his head. “You must think I’m a douche.”

Jungkook looks at you then, and you would have made fun of him then if you were closer and if he hadn’t just heroically saved you from a creep. A smile finds a place on your face, one that bothers on a grin.

“I mean, yeah,” you tell him but are quick to cut back in when you see the mortification set in with him. “I mean, no. I’ve figured you’re kinda awkward. I mean everybody is, right? Some more than others, I guess.”

You realise what you’ve done a second too late. You should feel sorry, incredibly remorseful, but instead, you have to laugh. The face Jungkook pulls amuses you in ways it probably shouldn’t. You’re definitely going to hell.

“No, wait, I didn’t mean it like that,” you say but the laugh that accompanies your words makes it certainly hard to believe you. “Sorry, I just can’t help myself. I swear I don’t mean it like that.”

Jungkook gives you an unimpressed look. 

You gather yourself, but the smile doesn’t disappear completely off your lips. “Okay, look, it’s fine. Now that you’ve explained it, I get it. You’ve got nothing to worry about!”

Jungkook presses his mouth into a line. “So you’re not gonna tell Soo I suck?”

You don’t try to bite away the smile. “No.” He lets out a relieved sigh. “I’m just gonna tell her you’re a douche.”

And for a second, Jungkook believes you, his doe eyes meeting yours. You laugh. He doesn’t join you. He does roll his eyes. It does nothing to lessen your laugh, to his dismay.

“I’m kidding,” you say, just to make sure he won’t get any wrong ideas. “You’re fine. Just… relax. No need to be awkward.”

Jungkook huffs, but there’s a smile on his lips. “I’ll try.”

“Great.”

And when you go back to silence, the air feels much lighter than before.

You switch after a quick stop at McDonald’s for a cheap and greasy lunch. It sits heavy in your stomach, but you don’t have the courage to suggest walking it off. So you get back in the car.

“Can I skip this song?” you ask because you’re the driver and the song makes it hard for you to concentrate. It’s awful. You hate it. You don’t tell him that though.

“Yeah, of course,” Jungkook tells you and skips to the next song. You don’t like this one either, but you don’t say anything. “You can put on your music too if you want, you know?”

“It’s fine. Your music is good.” And you can’t help but quietly add. “Most of the time.”

Jungkook gawks at you then. You have to laugh. “Sorry, I’m just joking.”

“No, no, actually-” He doesn’t finish his sentence and pauses the song. “How about we make a playlist together? Since we’re gonna be stuck in the car for a while, let’s try to make it as enjoyable as possible.”

“Oh, that sounds fun,” you say, really liking the suggestion, and Jungkook’s quick to open Spotify and create a new playlist, sending you the link to it too.

“‘Y/N’s and Jungkook’s Ultimate Summer Roadtrip Soundtrack’,” he says. “What do you think?”

You smile. “Great name.”

“Great.” He grins. “And obviously, the first song has to be ‘Midsummer Madness’ by 88rising, right?” 

You actually agree. The song belongs on every summer playlist.

“Add Jeremy Zucker to it too. ‘supercuts’ and ‘all the kids are depressed’,” you tell him.

Jungkook hums and does as you say. “‘Indigo’ by Niki and ‘100 Degrees’ by Rich Brian, yeah?”

You laugh. “You really like 88rising, don’t you?”

“You don’t?” he shots back, and you roll your eyes. Of course, you do.

“‘Everybody Talks!’ and ‘Animal’ by Neon Trees.”

“Bringing back the 2010s, huh?” Jungkook hums. “‘Sunday Best’ by Surfaces?”

“I don’t think I know this one,” you tell him, and he gasps at you, shaking his head and typing into his phone. A second later, the song plays over the stereo, and instantly, you see his point. “Okay, yeah, add this one.”

“How about ‘Electric Love’?”

You’re more than quick to agree. “Oh, that one for sure.”

“Okay, great,” he hums, and counts the number of songs under his breath. “Nine songs. That’s enough for now, right? We can add to it later.”

You nod. “Now, put it on.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He adds a salute too, and you roll your eyes.

By the time you get to the hotel, it’s late, the sun is long gone. You shut off the engine with a sigh, ready to collapse on a bed.

“Oh, we made it,” Jungkook groans, rubbing his eyes and stretching in his seat. You hum, too tired to speak. “Thank god. I’m done.”

You stretch too, your back cracking like a glowstick, and click off your seatbelt. But your seatbelt clearly doesn’t want you to leave, staying put even when you repeatedly press the button to unlock it.

“Wait, let me,” Jungkook says when he notices you struggling. 

He moves to help you. And right then, your hands brush. It’s stupid, really stupid, but you feel heat crawl up your neck, reaching the tips of your ears, rivalling the warmth of the summer. You even freeze for a second. When you thaw back to life, you flinch and turn your head to the side, screwing your eyes shut as if doing so would change anything.

Jungkook clears his throat awkwardly, and you’re grateful he keeps his gaze trained downwards. You’re certain you would have died of embarrassment if he had looked at you. 

“This seatbelt- it’s a bit, uh, tricky” He fumbles with it as he explains. “You gotta—” He speaks through pauses, voice strained. “—really push it down and-”

It clicks off.

And even though it wasn’t too tight before, you can breathe much better now. Maybe it was the seatbelt and you, somehow, didn’t notice all this time, or maybe it was because breathing got a little difficult when Jungkook was so close to you. But you’re convinced it’s not that. Sure, could you count all of his long eyelashes (which, might you add, are also unfailingly naturally curled too)? Yeah, but that’s not the reason why you feel so relieved. It’s because the seatbelt was digging into your ribs the entire time. It had to be. 

“Thanks,” you cough out and avert your eyes, looking out the window to the hotel. “Let’s, uh, check in, yeah?”

The thing about being four broke college students that are hellbent on going on a cross country roadtrip is you’re willing to cut corners at any point. And one of them is your accommodation. Four people means four hotel rooms. That’s not in your budget, not even when you take three rooms instead of four (with Sooyoung and Namjoon being a couple and whatnot). Two would be in your budget if you weren’t such ambitious shits and insisting on going cross country, meaning you’d need to stay in hotels at least a couple of times throughout the trip. So in the end, you settled for one room. 

One room for four people. 

Well, now it’s just two people.

“Oh,” you say when you walk in, stopping dead in your tracks, the key card still sitting in the lock, hand hovering over the light switch. Jungkook almost bumps into you when you abruptly stop.

“What?” he asks, and you will yourself to respond, but your throat is dry all of a sudden, so you step to the side.

You glance in Jungkook’s direction, curious to see his reaction. He doesn’t react much at all, his lips parting only the tiniest bit as he sees what you did when you walked in. 

“Uh, didn’t we ask for two beds?” he asks, a knit between his brows.

“We did,” you say, frantically scanning the room. Maybe you overlooked the second bed. Maybe there’s one and it will magically appear if you look around once more-

You stop. There’s only one bed.

“They must have forgotten, I guess,” you mumble and take a few steps inside, still holding out hope that maybe just maybe there’s a second bed somewhere. It’s foolish and naive, you know.

“I could go ask if they’ve got another room,” Jungkook proposes, putting down his huge travel bag by the door.

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“I’ll be back in two.”

“Don’t forget the key card,” you remind him on his way out, and he gives you a smile before grabbing it and shutting the door. You sigh and wander over to the bed, carefully sitting down on it like it was made of glass. It is big enough for the both of you, but there’s no way you’re sleeping in it together.

You feel the duvet. It’s softer than you expected it to be, with how cheap this room was. You scan the room one more time before finally letting yourself fall back. For a moment, you lay there in silence before pulling out your phone and checking it for the first time in hours.

Two missed calls from your mother, alongside a handful of texts. You call her back, already knowing what’s about to follow. You hold your phone to your ear. She picks up after just a ring. She’s been waiting.

“Hey, mom.”

“Honey! Are you alright? You didn’t answer my calls and texts!” There’s obvious worry laced with her words. You swallow. Maybe you should reconsider and not keep your phone on silent, at least for the duration of the trip.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m alright,” you tell her. “I was driving, so I wasn’t on my phone. We just checked in.”

“Oh, well, how’s the trip? Are you having fun?”

You close your eyes and hum. “It’s fun, but I’m also tired.”

“I can imagine. Driving so long isn’t good for your health. You sound very tired,” your mother says, and you think she’s going to launch into the speech she gave you when you first mentioned to her you’ll be going on a roadtrip. She doesn’t though, thankfully. You’re too tired for this. 

“But you know that already. At least, you’re having fun, right?” She only continues when you hum. “Well, how’s Soo?”

You peel your eyes open and grip your phone a little tighter. “Great,” you lie, knowing better than to tell the woman who sat in the kitchen in the darkness, waiting for you to come home after Sooyoung fucked up covering for you, that you were on a roadtrip with a complete stranger, a guy on top of that too.

“Is she doing well? Are you two eating well? What did you have for lunch? Dinner?” your mother asks.

“Uh, we stopped by McDonald’s,” you tell her, and you cringe at how reedy your voice sounds.

Your mother immediately makes a disapproving noise, of course. “For lunch and dinner? You should get something proper. Don’t eat too much McDonald’s. That’s not good for you.”

“Noted.” You decide to keep your answers short, and you hope your mother chalks it up to you being exhausted rather than you trying to hide something from her. 

“And how is it with the two guys? What were their names again? Namjoon and-?”

“Jungkook,” you supply with a cough.

“Ah yes, right, Jungkook. Are they trustworthy?”

“Yes, of course, mom,” you quickly assure, chuckling but it sounds wrong. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. They’re really nice.”

Your mother hums. “Well-”

It’s then that you hear the sound of the key card being inserted into the lock. You shoot up. 

“Uh, mom, I gotta go,” you tell her, the words stumbling from your lips clumsily. 

“What’s the hurry? I thought you were in the hotel-”

“Well—” You lock eyes with Jungkook and you’re quick to gesture for him to not say a word, panic in your eyes. “—uh, Soo just called for me. She needs my, uh, help.”

“Oh, in that case... go help her,” your mother says, and you think you can hear suspicion in her voice. You cringe. She knows something’s up. Why can’t you be a better liar?

“Yeah, I’m gonna do that,” you mumble, and Jungkook slowly closes the door. “I’ll talk to you later.”

And then, you end the call. You breathe out.

“Who-”

“My mom,” you say and throw your phone on the bed. “So? What did they say?”

Jungkook looks confused, taking a moment to connect the dots. “Right, uh, yeah, well they told me we didn’t actually book a room with two beds. Only one with one bed.”

You stare at him. “Oh.”

So you fucked up the reservations, huh? 

“Anyway, I asked if we could maybe switch, but they said,” he rubs his neck and averts his gaze then, “that they didn’t have any other rooms left.”

“Oh,” you repeat and sink back down on the bed. Jungkook leans against the closed door, staring at his shoes. “No rooms?”

“No rooms,” he confirms.

You press your lips into a thin line and search your brain for a solution. But you come up empty. Sooyoung has always been better than you at this. You’ve relied on her for problem-solving since middle school, so that part of your brain is rusty, to say the least. It doesn’t help you’re tired too.

“I could just sleep on the couch.” 

You jerk your head up, and follow Jungkook’s gaze, to the shabby little grey thing you don’t think classified as a couch.

“What? No!” you exclaim and shake your head. “That’s too small.”

“It’s fine,” he says, and you frown at him.

“It looks like it’s about to fall apart.”

“It doesn’t.”

You level Jungkook with a hard gaze. He doesn’t cave, to your dismay. You sigh.

“Fine,” he perks up, “I’ll sleep on it.”

“No- what? I’m gonna sleep on it!”

“No, sorry, I am,” you tell him. “Look, my phone’s already on it.”

He frowns. “It’s not.”

“Now, it is.” You’re just about to toss your phone on the couch when Jungkook beats you to it, throwing his gigantic travel bag across the room. You watch as it slowly tumbles from the couch to the floor.

“Sorry, my bag is on it.” Jungkook points at it like it didn’t just fall to the floor.

“It’s not.” And at your words he quickly rushes over and places his bag on top of the couch before sitting down himself. You stare at him. 

“Yes, yes, it is.” He smiles.

You grit your teeth. “You’re not gonna sleep well on that thing. I slept in the car a bit, so it doesn’t matter if I don’t sleep well now. Plus, I’m the one that fucked up the reservations, so I should be the one sleeping on the couch for it.”

Jungkook hums as if he’s considering your words, but then he clicks his tongue and pats the couch. “I think I’m gonna sleep just fine on this thing.”

“Stop lying-”

“Someone’s calling you.” He points to your phone in your hand, the screen lit up with a call.

You look at it.

Sooyoung.

You contemplate not taking it to continue this argument, but before you can make a decision, Jungkook does it for you. “Go take it. We’ll continue after.”

So even though you’re more than unhappy about this interruption, you do as he says, accepting the call and pressing your phone to your ear. Jungkook gestures over to what you assume must be the bathroom. You don’t bother locking the door when you walk inside. 

“Hey-”

“Oh, so you’ve finally unblocked me, huh?” you hiss and blink a couple of times, the fluorescent lights of the bathroom far too bright. It strains your eyes.

“Look, I had to,” Sooyoung says. “You were being a bad passenger and texting me when you should have been talking to Kook!”

You roll your eyes. “You left me hanging, again. I needed you, you know?”

“Oh, please.” You know exactly what look she has on her face right now. It’s the one where she thinks you’re being dramatic. “You survived, didn’t you?”

“Barely,” you spit. “A creepy guy approached me and wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“What? Are you alright, Y/N?” Sooyoung quickly asks, voice dripping with a mix of worry and exasperation. 

“Yeah, yeah,” you assure her, looking at yourself in the mirror and brushing through your hair with your fingers. “Jungkook came and did the entire ‘why are you talking to my girlfriend?’ shtick.”

“So, you’re alright?” 

You hum.

Sooyoung waits a moment. “So, Kook saved you?”

You practically hear the smirk in her words. You groan. “You’re so annoying, you know?”

She cackles.

“Seriously, Soo, shut up,” you hiss, deciding to change the topic. “Are you guys still stuck?”

“Yeah, the railway companies are on strike until tomorrow morning. We’ll be back in town in the early afternoon. But that’s not important. What’s important is how it’s going with Kook and you. Is he still being awkward?”

You press your lips together. “I mean, no? It’s not as bad as I thought it’d be, but still... I’d much rather have you here too. I really wanted to go with you. It would have been so much fun.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Y/N,” Sooyoung mumbles, and you’re both quiet. She’s about to cry. You can hear it in her voice. You know she must be wracked with guilt, so in an effort to spare the tears, you change the topic, “Oh, by the way, officially, you’re still on the trip with me. I didn’t tell my mom.”

She chuckles then, but it doesn’t sound all that real. “Alright, I’ll cover for you.”

“Do it properly though this time. I swear to God, if you fuck this up again, we’re done,” you joke and elicit another chuckle. It sounds more genuine, but it’s still not quite there. You sigh and tell her something you know will definitely take her mind off things.

“Did I tell you? I fucked up the reservations.”

There’s a pause. 

“What? How? Are you roomless?”

“Worse,” you tell her. “There’s only one bed and the hotel is booked out.” 

For a moment, Sooyoung doesn’t say anything until she bursts out into laughter, prompting a ‘What’s so funny?’ from Namjoon. 

“Holy shit, Y/N! You’re joking, right?” You screw your eyes shut. At least she doesn’t sound like crying anymore. “What in the Wattpad fanfiction is this?”

“Stop fucking laughing, Soo. I’m miserable, alright?”

Your embarrassment triples when you listen to Sooyoung explain the situation to Namjoon. 

“Soo!” you hiss. 

“Sorry, sorry.” She’s still laughing though. Sometimes you wish your rivalry in middle school never stopped. “I’m just- this is just so funny. So what? You guys gonna sleep in the same bed?”

You hate the teasing tone swinging with her words, hate it so much you’re ready to just end the call then and there.

“You’re being a bad friend, you know?” you press through gritted teeth. “But no, we’re obviously not sleeping in the same fucking bed.” You make an effort to keep your voice low, aware that Jungkook’s just outside, sitting on the couch. You doubt the door is soundproof. “That’d be so weird.”

“Why not? I think that’d be a great bonding activity.”

You pause and if she was in front of you, you’d stare daggers into her. Your lips press into a line.

“Soo,” you begin, low and threatening, almost like how Jungkook spoke to the guy at the rest stop, “are you telling me to sleep with Jungkook?”

Sooyoung waits a moment, the silence that stretches between you feeling like forever. And then, “Hey, babe, Kook’s single, right?”

You faintly hear Namjoon's affirmative answer, followed by a confused ‘Why?’, and you think you’re ready to break off your friendship with Sooyoung.

“I fucking hate you,” you whisper, eliciting another round of obnoxious laughter. 

“Look, I actually didn’t mean that,” Sooyoung tells you when she’s finally calmed down. “I was strictly speaking about actual bonding, as in friendship, you know? You’re the one that went there!”

“You said ‘bonding activity’!” you exclaim, clamming your hand in front of your mouth when you raise your voice a bit too much. You look at the door, listening to any sounds from the other side, but luckily, it stays quiet. 

You lower your voice into a hiss. “Don’t blame me for going there! You worded it weirdly.”

“Ah, so it’s never your fault, is it? Just accept it, you’ve got a dirty mind-”

“I’m hanging up. Goodbye.”

And without hesitating, you end the call, watching as your screen darkens. You sigh and run a hand through your hair, shaking your head and her words out of your mind. Sooyoung’s stupid and absolutely wrong. 

With that conclusion, you take one deep breath, making sure to compose yourself before heading out. One look into the mirror, you realise the frown plaguing your features has deepened. You smooth it over as much as possible.

When you walk out, you’re ready to pick up right where you left off, but instead of seeing Jungkook sitting on the couch, you find him curled up on it, knees uncomfortably tucked to his chest, a pillow under his head and a blanket thrown over him. You don’t know where he got both of those things from as the bed is still untouched. His travel bag sits on the floor next to him. 

Jungkook’s sleeping.

Or well, he’s pretending to be asleep. It’s obvious he’s faking it with how stiff he’s lying on the couch. 

“Seriously?” you mutter under your breath and throw your hands into the air. “What happened to talking about it after?”

No response. 

You walk over to him, expecting Jungkook to open his eyes at one point. You know he can feel your gaze on him. There’s no way he isn’t. You’re practically digging daggers into him.

“I know you’re faking,” you say, but again, no response. You contemplate pulling off the pillow and blanket, but you can’t bring yourself to even lift your hand. 

With Sooyoung, you wouldn’t hesitate at all, but with Jungkook, you’re still careful. Because even though you just spent the day getting comfortable with each other, you’re scared you might cross a line and catapult you back to your starting point. You definitely do not want to be the reason for that. 

So you don’t try anything. 

You heave out one heavy sigh. 

“Jungkook, you said we were gonna talk,” you mumble, tired and disappointed. “You’re not being fair.”

You think you see the slightest twitch in his face, the tiniest knit between his brows like he’s contemplating maybe opening his eyes. But then, it’s gone, the lines smoothed over and you know you’re not getting him to drop his act. 

Admitting defeat, you wander over to your suitcase and open it, grabbing your toiletry bag and a change of clothes. 

“Just gonna say you’re gross for not brushing your teeth. They are gonna fall out, you know?” 

You wait for a reaction, but of course, you don’t get one. You roll your eyes and walk into the bathroom, shutting the door with more force than necessary.

Getting into bed feels weird. You’ve never liked sleeping in a bed beside your own, but you especially don’t like it when you see Jungkook curled up in that same uncomfortable and stiff position as before. You want to say something, but you know it’s in vain. So you turn off the lights and crawl under the covers.

You close your eyes, trying to sleep for a few minutes before giving up, eyes peeling open. And it’s not because it feels strange sleeping in a foreign bed. It’s because there’s a coil in your stomach, brewing and stewing in there. 

A coil of guilt.

Taking a deep breath, you throw the covers off you and swing your legs over the mattress. You’re determined as you walk over to Jungkook. 

“Get up,” you say with confidence you don’t know where you got from. “Jungkook, stop pretending. I know you’re not sleeping”

You think it’s the annoyance in your voice, the strictness swinging with it because finally, Jungkook does as you say and peels his stupid doe eyes open. Your gazes meet. He looks sheepish, embarrassed almost, and you click your tongue.

“Come on,” you say and grab his blanket. “You’re not sleeping on the couch.”

“It’s fine,” Jungkook repeats, pulling back the blanket. “Seriously, the couch is comfortable-”

“Oh, shut up,” you groan and throw your head into your neck. “You’re not sleeping on the couch, okay? You’re almost falling off this thing! Look at yourself, curled up like a goddamn shrimp. How are you gonna sleep like that?”

Jungkook opens his mouth but falls short. 

“See!” you laugh because this is so stupid, and he looks away, defeated.

You take a deep breath before continuing, knowing once you say this, you can’t take it back. 

“Just come sleep in the goddamn bed with me.”

Before Jungkook can even begin to comprehend your words, you grab his blanket and walk over to the bed. You throw the blanket on it.

“Uh,” confusion and uncertainty swing with his voice, “both of us? In the same bed?”

You can feel heat crawl up your neck at his question. You blame him for it, for the way he words it. It’s weird, sounds wrong. 

“Don’t make this weird. I’m just saying- there’s enough space, right?” You gesture at the bed. “And I-” You pause for a moment. “We’ll use your pillow as a barrier.” 

Even though you try your hardest to sound confident and not let any of the embarrassment leak through, you can hear the quiver in your voice. You hope Jungkook doesn’t. 

When you look at him again, he’s still staring at you, sitting up now though.

“I mean if you don’t wanna,” you’re starting to lose all of the courage you had before, “that’s fine too. I just thought that since, you know, the couch-”

“No, no, no,” he interrupts and grabs his pillow, standing up, “I’m just-” 

Jungkook pauses. A smile finds his lips. You lock eyes.

“If you’re comfortable with it, I’m too.”

You don’t think you’ve seen Jungkook look at you like this before, quite frankly you don’t think anyone has ever looked at you like this. There’s so much sincerity and honesty in his eyes. You can’t handle it. You avert your eyes.

“Yeah, uh, I’m fine with it,” you cough, and wave him off. “Just, you know, a barrier.”

He places the pillow right in the middle. “Good?” 

You nod before crawling under the covers. For some reason, breathing gets a bit harder as you do.

“Uh.” You snap your gaze to Jungkook at his interruption, eyes big when you look at him. “I think I’m gonna go wash up and change,” he tells you, gesturing at himself, still in his clothes from today. 

“Oh, yeah, of course,” you say. “Go do that.”

“Wouldn’t want my teeth to fall out, would I?” he smiles, and you roll your eyes at him. You don’t think he can see it in the darkness, but then you spot a grin on his lips.

“Just go.” You wave him off.

The fluorescent lights of the bathroom spill into the room through the crack under the door, and in the darkness, they seem especially bright and straining. You close your eyes.

“Ah, shit,” you hear Jungkook curse, followed by the faint sound of his toiletry bag dropping to the floor, and then, the calm sound of running water. Usually, you would slowly fall asleep, the sounds serving as white noise, but you can’t. Not when the realisation dawns on you Jungkook must have heard everything before. 

You figured the door wasn’t soundproof, but you didn’t expect it to be this thin. Jungkook heard everything. You’re sure of it. Before you were embarrassed. Now, you’re mortified.

You dig the heels of your hands into your eyes and bite your lip, stopping yourself from groaning.

By the time Jungkook comes back, you’ve decided to go with his tactic of pretending to be asleep. Unlike him, you’re actually able to put on a pretty good act. Your acting abilities are confirmed when you hear him stop dead in the tracks.

“Oh.”

It’s quiet, barely audible, not louder than a slight puff of air, but you hear it loud and clear. Your senses are heightened and focused solely on every sound Jungkook makes. His steps are feather-light, making it difficult for you to follow where he is in the room, but when you feel the mattress dip, you know.

Jungkook moves slowly, not wanting to wake you. You almost smile at his carefulness. Sooyoung would never act like this. (In fact, she would probably bang on doors and turn on the lights just to wake you up and complain to you about how you fell asleep too quickly.) 

Like it weighs a ton, Jungkook slowly lifts the blanket. You want to tell him to hurry and get into bed, but you bite your tongue, letting him do his thing. This must be a world record for the longest time to get into bed, you think.

When he’s finally lying next to you, Jungkook lets out a sigh. You can feel his presence beside you, his body pressing into the pillow. It’s hard not to notice. 

Nothing happens for a few minutes, and you wonder if you could peel your eyes open and take a peek, see his back turned to you. Just as you’re about to though,

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

And then, you feel Jungkook tug the blanket closer to your chin, covering you up even more. Heat crawls up your cheeks. You decide to keep your eyes closed.

Your mouth drops open when you see Jungkook’s plate, a marvellous stack of golden brown pancakes with the perfect slap of butter on top and a tiny bowl filled with brown sugary sweet maple syrup. Your bun with jam looks incredibly sad and plain in comparison, unappetising even. When you walked along the buffet, you didn’t see pancakes. How did you miss them?

“You wanna try?” Jungkook asks you, scooting closer with his chair and pointing at his pancakes. You tear your gaze to him.

“No, it’s fine.” 

“You sure?”

He levels you with a serious gaze, and you know he’s not just offering you out of politeness. “Yeah, just eat.”

You try not to look at Jungkook’s plate, eyes focusing on your cup of coffee, but you can’t help but take a peek when he pours the maple syrup on top. It’s illegal how good it looks. He catches you staring. Your eyes grow big before you bring yourself to look away, pretending like you’ve got a piece of lint stuck to your pants.

You bring your cup of coffee to your lips and take a sip. It’s in that moment when Jungkook transfers half of his stack of pancakes onto your plate. You start choking.

“Jungkook!” you exclaim, causing other guests to look your way, but you can’t be bothered to give them an apologetic smile. “What are you doing?”

“Just eat,” he tells you and picks up his fork and knife, slicing into his remaining pancakes. You shake your head and quickly put down your cup to give him his food back, but,

“Y/N, don’t you dare. I gave it to you. It’s a gift. You can’t refuse a gift.”

You gawk at him. 

“Jungkook,” you start, but he waves you off again, shoving the bite into his mouth. “It’s your food.”

“Not anymore,” he tells you, mouth still half full, and you think you would have cringed if he hadn’t just given you half of his stacks of pancakes. “It’s really good.” He points at his plate. “You should try.”

Admitting defeat, you heave out a sigh and tear your bun in half, placing it on his plate.

“Y/N-”

“It’s a gift,” you repeat. “You can’t refuse a gift.”

Jungkook stares at you then before smiling and shaking his head. 

He’s inside, handling the checking out, when you realise you’re inherently weak. What other conclusion are you supposed to come to when you can't lift your suitcase into the trunk?

You groan as you try once more, propping up your leg to use as leverage, but it’s not enough. Your stance is weak, and you start toppling. Just before this can end badly, with your butt on the concrete and your suitcase on the floor, your knight in shining armour makes a second appearance. 

Jungkook places one hand behind your back, steadying you, and takes your suitcase from you with the other. Like it weighs nothing, he puts it in the trunk. A part of you is offended by how easy he makes it look.

“You alright?” He turns to you, giving you a worried look. You wave him off, feeling vaguely out of breath. Whether it’s due to you straining to get your suitcase in, or the fact Jungkook still has his hand on your back, you don’t know and also don’t want to know.

“I’m fine,” you huff in the end, and his touch leaves you. “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

“Honestly thought you were gonna watch me in the rearview mirror again,” you mumble, and his hands still around the hatchback, gaze finding yours. You crack a smile. “I’m joking. I know you’re not a douche.”

He rolls his eyes at you, but there’s a smile on his lips as he does. You fish the keys out of your pocket.

“Ready for another day of driving?”

You’ve been on the road for almost three hours when you decide to make a stop, Jungkook needing to use the restroom.

“I’ll be quick,” he says and is already halfway out of the car but stops when he sees you fumble with your seatbelt.

“I’m getting out too,” you tell him when you notice his look. “My legs are sore. But you can go first. I know you gotta pee.”

“Oh, no, I can wait.”

You don’t respond, far too busy with the seatbelt. Maybe you should not get out. Maybe that’s your sign that staying in the car would be better. But, like all of the times before, Jungkook’s here for your rescue.

“Can I-?”

This time you make sure to pull your hands away fast enough, but you still don’t dare to look as he works on the seatbelt, cheeks ablaze for some reason. Deep down, you know. It’s the proximity. It’s the fact that you can see every mole speckling his skin, the fact that you can cup his cheeks, lift his face to you and push your lips against his-

Oh, God.

It’s the lack of sleep. It’s definitely the lack of sleep.

You close your eyes and bite your tongue, focusing on thinking about anything but how close Jungkook is to you.

You only open your eyes when you hear the click of your seatbelt. Jungkook leans back, and you start to breathe again.

“What would you do without me?” he asks, grinning, and you don’t meet his gaze.

“Probably be stuck in the car forever,” you say, swallowing thickly, the words coming out breathlessly.

He grins, picking up on none of that. “Probably.”

The moment your feet hit the concrete, you sigh, in need of some movement. Your mother’s right. Driving so long really is not good for your health.

Jungkook trails behind you as you walk into the little convenience store, your steps much more hurried than his. He almost bumps into you when you stop dead in your tracks. He’s about to ask you what’s wrong when he sees the other customers, all men, older men. It’s an intimidating sight. You swallow, reminded of yesterday.

“You alright?” Jungkook asks quietly, giving you a smile and stepping in front of you.

“Uh, y-yeah,” you say and clear your throat. “I mean yeah, I’m alright. It’s just-”

“You want to hold my hand?” 

The question catches you off guard. You look up to Jungkook. “W-what?”

“You know because-”

He doesn’t finish his sentence and just looks behind him. You don’t follow his gaze because you know what he’s saying. You take this short moment to admire his face, the softness of it.

“I mean you also don’t gotta,” he clears his throat. “Just so we can prevent yesterday from happening-”

Jungkook stops when you take his hands into yours, fingers slotting with his. He looks down before meeting your gaze, a smile spreading on his lips.

“Thanks,” you whisper into his arm, and he squeezes your hand.

“Anytime.”

‘Everybody Talks’ by Neon Trees just finished playing when Jungkook turns his head to you, his phone in his hand.

“Joon texted they got back,” he tells you, and you hum. “Reminds me, you never told me why Joon and Soo were out of town.”

“Did I not say?” You pucker your forehead. “Well, you know how it’s Joon’s and Soo’s anniversary?” He nods. “Well, he decided to take out Soo for a romantic getaway.”

“Oh, that’s cute,” Jungkook says, and you wrinkle your nose.

“You mean gross.”

“You think so?”

“You don’t?” you shoot back and look at him, raising a brow. You focus on the road again. “Also, look how their romantic getaway turned out. They ended up missing the roadtrip, and now we’re stuck here.”

Jungkook eyes you, words clearly sitting on his tongue, but he swallows them. 

“I guess.”

So far you haven’t hit traffic yet. So when you do after hours of travelling, you can’t even be pissed. You are, however, bored. 

Because there’s a sleeping Jungkook to your right, his arms crossed in front of his chest and his head stiffly pulled back. 

You keep yourself entertained by playing the playlist he and you created through your earbuds, quietly jamming to it until you run out of songs and start adding to it. 

You just added ‘warm’ by Junggigo and ‘Butterflies’ by Fiji Blue to the playlist when Jungkook shifts next to you. Your gaze lands on him, and you hold your breath as you watch him stir and stir until slowly, he peels his eyes open.

The first thing he does is groan.

“Ah, fuck.”

His voice is deeper than usual, thick with sleep, and his face contorts with pain. You know it’s his neck. Your assumption is confirmed when he holds it, rubbing it.

“Morning,” you greet him, quietly, earphones and phone landing in your lap. “You okay?”

Jungkook looks at you, putting on a smile.

“Hey, yeah, morning. I’m fine.” He’s definitely not. “I just slept weird.”

Jungkook rubs his eyes and stretches, groaning as he does. He blinks a couple of times, taking everything in.

“One and a half days, right?” he says, sighing. “I mean no traffic. That’s not too bad?”

You hum. “Yeah, guess we’re lucky we only hit traffic now.”

Jungkook exhales again, long and heavy, still somewhat drowsy, and looks out the window, taking in the beautiful blue sky.

“You wanna play a game?”

You turn to him at his sudden question. “A game?”

He smiles, wide awake now. “Yeah, to pass the time.”

You hum. “What game?”

“21 questions.”

“When you said play a game, you meant... ask me questions?” you say and smile when you see the look on his face.

“Well, it’s still a game-”

You give him a look, nose scrunching. “Sure,” you say. “Now hit me. What’s your question?”

“Okay, so,” a knit forms between Jungkook’s brows, “do you want to improve the world we live in?”

You still, and turn to Jungkook, your face twisting in confusion. “That’s your question? I thought 21 questions was meant to be casual, not deep.”

“Just answer the question, Y/N,” he says. “Or what? You’re too scared?”

You raise a brow. “Too scared? You think I’m too scared?” You laugh and shake your head. 

“Fine, yes, I do,” you sigh. “I do wanna improve the world. I mean obviously, right? The world is shit, so of course I wanna change it.” You pause. “Do I think I will? No. But would I like to? Sure.”

Jungkook smiles. “See! I feel like I know you much better already. Okay, what would-”

“What are you doing? What game is this when I’m the only one answering questions? This isn’t an interview, right?”

He sighs. “Fine, my answer’s the same-”

“You’re not answering the same question. That’s boring,” you say and click your tongue. “No, you’re gonna tell me—” You pause to think, a knit forming between your brows. You light up when you come up with something. “—what your biggest weakness is.”

“I thought this was not meant to be an interview?” 

“Just answer the question, Jungkook,” you parrot. “Or what? You’re too scared?”

And then he shakes his head before puckering his forehead in thought. “I suck at social interactions. Like, I’m awkward as shit.”

You click your tongue. “Doesn’t count.”

“What do you mean-”

“It means I already know that and these questions are supposed to get me to know you better. Think of another weakness.”

Jungkook grumbles but doesn’t protest it, pausing to think. “I can’t think of anything else right now-”

“Are you saying you’ve got no other weakness?” You drive up when the line moves. “Wow, that’s arrogant.”

“Fine, let me think.” He pauses, and you’re about to tell him it’s fine when he continues. “I guess I’m immature- well, immature isn’t the right word. I think I’m sometimes a bit... reckless.” He levels you with a look. “Good enough?”

You hum. “A great weakness. You’re hired.”

Jungkook grumbles. “Okay, now my turn. What would you change about yourself?”

“Change about myself?” you repeat under your breath, scrunching your nose as you think about it. 

“I mean I think I’d like to be more disciplined. Have more self-control, you know?” You press your mouth into a line. “I’m not a very confrontational person either. If I can, I will avoid uncomfortable situations at all cost, even if that means it inconveniences me.” You shrug. “I feel like there’s always something to change though, right? We could always work on ourselves and be a better and kinder version of ourselves, don’t you think?”

“Wow, you must be great at interviews,” he says, and you grin. “Your turn.”

You hum as you try to think of a question. “Tell me your greatest strength.”

“You know you’re asking awfully lot of interview questions for the fact that you teased me-”

“Just answer the question, Jungkook,” you repeat. “Or what? You’re too-”

“My greatest strength,” he interrupts loudly, and you grin, “is probably… my patience. Also, I feel like I’m pretty nice once you get to know me and get past all of the, you know, awkwardness.”

You let out a high pitched sound. “Don’t know if I’d agree.”

He snaps his head to you, eyes blown out, and the way he’s looking at you now reminds you of the way he stared at you when you told him Sooyoung and Namjoon weren’t coming. Once again, you’re convinced if you slap him on the back of his head, his eyes would fall out.

“Y/N!”

“I’m joking!”

Jungkook stares at you, face hard and serious. You know you should take him seriously, but all you can do is laugh when you look at him. 

“Stop teasing me!”

“It’s fun though,” you tell him, smiling. “Also you’re gullible. Another weakness.”

The groan that escapes him only makes your smile widen even more. 

“Whatever,” he mumbles and crosses his arms in front of his chest. You want to poke him in the cheek and tease him for being such a moody teenager, but you think that will earn you a glare.

“You still wanna play your little game?”

“I thought it wasn’t a game-”

“So you don’t.”

Your words have Jungkook snapping his head to you, and you can see the conflict in his eyes. On one hand, he wants to tease you. On the other hand, he does want to continue playing. At this point, you’re beaming.

“Just ask,” you say as a sort of peace offering, a silent promise you’ll stop teasing him so much (for now at least). And he takes it, somewhat reluctantly but definitely gladly.

“What’s your biggest regret?”

You pause, and almost forget to drive up when the line moves. Unlike with the previous questions, you think a lot longer about this one, a sight that makes Jungkook smile.

“Good question, isn’t it? Got no answer, do you?”

“Well, you tell me your biggest regret then.”

He tsks you. “This is your question. You gotta answer it, not me.”

You purse your lips and think. “Probably when I decided cutting my hair with a pair of blunt kitchen scissors was a good idea. You’ll find no pictures of me during junior year.”

“That’s your only regret?” He arches a brow. 

“I once touched the hot stovetop and burned myself pretty badly.”

“How old were you?”

“Six maybe?”

“That doesn’t count then,” he tells you, and as much as you want to protest, you know he’s right. Being a kid and doing stupid stuff is a given. It shouldn’t be a regret.

You sigh. 

The only other thing you can come up with is the time you decided to hook up with Jungkook. It’s not the act in itself was something you regretted, but it just feels weird for you to share such a history with him. It’s unlike you. You know in a separate universe he and you hooking up probably lead to something more, a relationship maybe, one that you grew happy being in. But this isn’t the universe in which you get together with Jungkook. It’s the one in which you have to anxiously sit next to him as you hope he’ll never remember you.

“Well, I have had too much and done some stupid stuff,” you tentatively begin, trying to be as vague as possible, not wanting to possibly jumpstart Jungkook’s memories.

“Like?”

You look out your window and press your hands into your thighs. “Like think I can dance or sing all of a sudden, or that texting my ex is a brilliant idea.”

“Feel like we’ve all done that.”

His eyes are on you. You can feel it, and you know he’s not letting this go until you give him something.

“Well, once I…. went home with this guy.” 

You instantly regret speaking. You don’t dare to look at Jungkook, far too scared that recognition might reflect in his eyes. You don’t know what you would do then.

“He was that bad, huh?” A laugh accompanies his question, and you try to mimic it, keeping the atmosphere light.

“I mean no, but it’s just… not like me at all, you know?” You gesture around yourself. “To hook up with people. Not something I’d do sober. It’s just… embarrassing. It has nothing to do with him, just- you know, me-”

Jungkook looks at you then, his mouth opening to say something, but you stop him, desperate to change the topic.

“Oh,” you pick up your phone, “right! I’ve, uh, added a couple of new songs to the playlist.”

He knows what you’re doing. Jungkook’s not stupid. But thankfully, he lets you off the hook.

“Put them on.”

“I’m banning McDonald’s,” you say when you walk out of the third clown restaurant in less than two days. “I can’t do this again.”

Jungkook laughs next to you, still sipping on his coke. “Well, it does look like we’re gonna be at the hotel early. We can go look for a proper place to have dinner then.”

“Please,” you sigh and tuck a strand behind your ear when you feel a gust of wind. Your steps are exceptionally slow, stomach filled with a mediocre cheeseburger and greasy fries.

“Alright, we’ll do that then,” Jungkook hums. “Keys?”

You fish them out of your pocket and hand them to him. You’ve fallen into a routine. Around lunchtime, you switch. 

You perk up when you see Jungkook rub his neck, face twisted in pain. You’ve already noticed him rubbing his neck earlier when you were eating. 

“Hey,” he stops and looks at you, “I just remembered. I need something from the store.” You point at the little convenience store next to McDonald’s. “Go ahead. I’ll be right back.”

And before Jungkook can offer to go with you, you walk inside, hoping you’ll find what you’re looking for. They must have them here too, you think. It takes you a minute to find them, but when you do, you beam. But your smile is quickly replaced by a frown when you see the price. When you remember how he’s been rubbing and massaging his neck for the last hour, it disappears and you walk over to the checkout.

Jungkook replaced his coke for his phone when you come back, a frown etching into his face when he sees the plastic bag you’re holding.

“What did you-”

He stills when you pull it out. You hold it out to him.

“It’s for you.” 

You shove it into his hands.

“Y/N,” he begins, voice soft and quiet, face softening. “Why?”

“Because obviously, your neck is hurting. Now, try it out.”

Jungkook gives you a look before sighing and putting the neck pillow around his neck, leaning into it.

“And? You feel supported?”

He smiles. “Very.”

You ball up the plastic bag and throw it into the back. “Great.”

“How much was it? It must have been so expensive,” Jungkook says, and you roll your eyes. “I’ll pay you-”

“No, you’re not,” you say. 

“Just tell me how-”

“No.”

He removes the neck pillow and levels you with a look. 

“Y/N.”

“Jungkook,” you repeat, not nearly as serious though. 

The corners of your lips quirk up when he heaves out a sigh. He closes his eyes. “You’re not gonna tell me, are you?”

“Of course not,” you grin and put on your seatbelt. “Now drive. I wanna have a proper dinner.”

Even though you’ve never been to this city before, the park reminds you oddly enough of your local park. You think it’s the Magnolia trees.

Looking around, you’re glad Jungkook suggested you get takeout instead of sitting in the little dingy Chinese diner when your initial plans of going to the city’s best sushi place fell through. (They didn’t accept walk-ins.) As sad as it was (and it really was because Jungkook spent an hour comparing dozens of restaurants on Yelp and sacrificed a good chunk of his data), you’re happy you ended up in the park. Something about having dinner under the summer sky is just especially calming and beautiful, the warm sticky evening air blowing in your face. 

“I like it here,” you tell Jungkook, and he hums, mouth stuffed with fried rice.

“It’s nice,” he agrees with you, and you pick up your chopsticks again, shovelling your noodles into your mouth. “But the food…”

He trails off, and you almost start laughing. 

“Yeah, it’s not great,” you say and swallow. “The noodles are weirdly greasy.”

“Yeah, I can see.” Jungkook points at your oil-soaked paper container. “The rice is not good either. Too wet, and it has a weird aftertaste too.”

You hum. You did switch to noddles for a reason. 

“But,” you look at him, pulling up a chopstick full of noodles, “still better than McDonald’s.”

“That’s for sure, and,” he picks up a spring roll from your shared box sitting between you on the bank, “the spring rolls are actually really fucking good.”

You grab one for yourself. “Yeah, they got those right.” 

The sun isn’t setting just yet, but it is slowly losing its vibrancy, fading into the background. The light it does have left filters beautifully through the leaves and flowers of the Magnolia trees, creating soft and delicate shadows on the concrete that dance in rhythm with the wind. You sit right underneath a majestic Magnolia tree, and from your bench, you can see a small family of three having a nice little picnic on your left and a group of kids playing football on your right. You tuck your hair out of your face when a breeze blows past you. It’s not too hot or humid today.

It’s the perfect summer day.

And once again, you notice how fading and fleeting the warm months are, notice how it’s all slowly coming to a bittersweet ending, how this trip will be the thing defining your summer until next year. You smile at that thought. Oddly enough, you’re fine with that.

“It’s a really beautiful day though,” you mumble, and Jungkook looks over to you, mouth stuffed with fried rice. He pauses. “Makes up for the mediocre food.”

He sticks his chopsticks into the rice (something his mother would scold him for) and wipes his mouth. His eyes are on you, solely on you. You don’t notice. He smiles.

“Beautiful indeed.”

When you finish eating (and by finish you mean when neither of you can stomach any longer of the mediocre Chinese food without risking possibly getting food poisoning), the sun has slowly begun to set, golden hour coming to an end. The little family is long gone at this point, and the group of kids you watched a minute ago are nowhere to be seen either. 

You’re gathering up your leftovers, packing them all up and making sure to leave nothing behind, when Jungkook suddenly straightens up. You’re far too busy to notice it, and by the time you do, he’s already up and walking away, leaving you without an explanation.

“Uh-”

The rest of your sentence gets lodged in your throat when he begins to run. You see it then. An ice cream truck. You hear it then too, the faint little tune coming from it. You spot the group of kids huddled around it, holding their wallets up in the air. That’s where they went, you think.

When Jungkook comes back, you’ve long finished packing everything up.

“Here,” he says, holding out a Spiderman shaped ice cream to you. “I mean unless you want Iron Man.”

You laugh and gladly accept Spiderman. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Are you gonna let me repay you?”

And when Jungkook just moves the plastic bags to the side and sits down next to you, you know the answer. 

Is it a good idea to eat ice cream so shortly after all of that Chinese food? Definitely not. Do either of you care? Not at all.

“You think they’re on a date?” you ask when you spot two teenagers by the ice cream truck. Even from afar, you can see their fidgeting. You smile, remembering how you used to be like that too. Sometimes still are even.

“Look at him,” Jungkook laughs, gesturing towards the boy. “They’re definitely on a date. You can see he wants to hold her hand.”

You hum and go back to eating.

“You think people think we’re dating when they look at us?”

You stop. For a moment, you don’t react at all until it hits you and you snap your gaze to Jungkook, eyes wide.

“W-what?” you sputter and almost choke.

Jungkook instantly begins to laugh, a gigantic smile growing on his lips. “What? Is it so bad if people might think that?” he asks, taking a bite from his ice cream, and you would have cringed and told him not to do that if your brain wasn’t reeling from his question.

“I- what? I-I don’t-”

You stop when he laughs even more, and soon enough your face twists in annoyance, nose scrunching. A pout grows on your lips and you avert your gaze, cheeks ablaze.

“It’s not funny,” you inform him, but Jungkook doesn’t agree, grinning at you. “But no, I don’t think so.” 

You still don’t look at him when you speak.

“Really?” There’s disbelief in his voice. “I mean I’m not trying to imply anything, but, you know, you and I are sitting on the bench together, eating ice cream and-”

“Sure, yeah, but this is also not a romcom in which we dance under the stars, go on coffee shop dates, and sneak out to meet in the middle of the night, Jungkook,” you interrupt, the words spilling from your lips quickly. “This is the 21st century. People no longer assume we’re dating because you’re a guy and I’m a girl and we’re having ice-”

“Didn’t you assume that they’re dating because they are a guy and girl getting ice cream?” Jungkook asks and points at the two teenagers. You still and press your mouth into a line.

His gaze lingers on you as he waits and waits for your defence. You can’t come up with anything though. So in a desperate attempt to save face, you get up and grab one of the plastic bags. 

“I’m tired,” you announce, voice thin and weak.

You know Jungkook’s smirking. You expect a comment, but nothing follows. He just gets up, grabs the other bag and happily takes another bite from his Iron Man ice cream as he catches up with you.

This time you didn’t fuck up the reservations. This time there are two beds, so when you get back, there’s no discussion and fight about who takes the couch. This time you both just claim your beds.

Jungkook lets you have the bathroom first, and when you’re done, showered and washed up, you find him eating the rice from before.

“Thought it tasted off,” you say as you dry your hair with a towel, and he hums.

“It does,” he looks at you, “but it’s still food.”

You smile and sit down on the bed, pulling out your phone and checking your messages; assuring your mother you’re fine, making plans with Yeji and Sana to go shopping after the trip, and telling Sooyoung you’re back in the hotel.

“Gonna wash up,” Jungkook tells you, and you look up to find him no longer eating, everything packed up.

“Alright.”

The call comes right when you hear the shower turn on.

“Y/N!” Sooyoung greets you, the smile audible in her voice.

“Hey,” you mumble and lie down, rubbing your eyes and suppressing a yawn. “What’s up?”

“Oh, I just wanted to check in with you.” You look over to the bathroom. The shower is still running. You have time. “How’s it with Kook?”

You press your lips together. “Fine.”

“See!” You have to hold your phone away from your ear, cringing at her volume. “I told you it wasn’t gonna be bad!”

“Yeah, whatever,” you mumble and sigh, closing your eyes as you feel the exhaustion taking over you more and more. 

“How did you solve the bed dilemma yesterday?”

“Soo,” you press through your teeth, hoping it’s enough for her to get the message.

“Oh, Y/N, just tell me! Did you guys sleep in one bed?”

You pinch your nose bridge and sigh. “Please, stop.”

“You gotta tell me! Don’t leave me hanging like that,” she tells you, and you want to groan, but refrain when you hear the shower stop.

“He took the couch, okay? Happy?” you hiss. It’s not a complete lie. Jungkook did take the couch, for around ten minutes.

“Oh, did he? How gentleman of Kook,” Sooyoung says, but you hear a smirk on her lips. You frown. “But,” your heart sinks in your chest, “Joon told me Kook told him you ended up sharing the bed.”

“I’m hanging up again,” you say and end the call early once more.

When Jungkook comes back, you’re already tucked in, phone charging on the nightstand and eyes squeezed shut. You hear him still at your sight before his footsteps resume again. 

There’s silence. 

Until there isn’t.

A thud.

You turn on the lamp, just to see Jungkook sitting on a sunken bed.

“Did you break-”

He presses his mouth into a thin line.

“Yup.”

Jungkook didn’t break the bed. The hotel staff informs you there’s a loose screw. It’s been fixed but needs fixing again. They apologise profusely.

You sigh when he finishes relaying all of the information. “So moving rooms, huh?”

“Yeah, uh, about that...” 

Jungkook gives you a look you can’t place, but when he picks up the bedding and throws it all on the couch, it dawns on you.

“Don’t tell me…” You don’t finish your sentence. “How?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “Seems like a lot of people are going on roadtrips now.”

You bury your face in your hands. This feels like a fucking joke. Sooyoung’s right. What in the Wattpad fanfiction is this?

“Okay, but clearly I’m sleeping on the couch,” you say, and Jungkook’s quick to lie down before you can act.

“Look, Y/N, let’s not do this again. It’s my bed that broke, so I should sleep-”

“But your neck!”

“Goodnight.”

And with that, Jungkook pulls the cover over his body and turns his back to you, letting out the most obnoxiously loud and fake snore. 

This time it’s not a full-size bed. This time it’s just a twin size bed. This time you still can’t let Jungkook sleep on that stupidly small couch, not with his neck pain for sure. (Why can’t hotels have decently sized couches?)

“You’re not gonna let me sleep on the couch, are you?” 

You get a loud snore in response. You heave out a sigh.

“Can I trust you?”

There’s no snoring this time. You think he knows where you’re going with this. You fumble with the covers, heart thumping in your chest.

“We can’t… put a barrier this time.”

And like he’s been stung, Jungkook sits up, his eyes wide as he looks at you. You look away, and you hope the lamp is dim enough to hide the embarrassment etched into your face.

“Just-” Your voice is weak, cracking. You’re running out of air. “I can trust you, right?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook’s eyes soften. “Y/N, I’m really fine with sleeping on the-”

“Well—” You tuck a strand behind your ear, feeling hot all of a sudden. The AC is running though? “—I’m not. You’ve got the neck pain and the couch is also fucking tiny. Just, you know, don’t be…. weird.”

You’re certain. The AC must be broken. How else is it possible that your entire body is on fire, burning up as you speak? That must be it. The AC must have just broken.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a while, thinks about your proposal, and you can hear your heart grow louder in your chest, pounding harder against your rib cage.

“Are you sure?”

He asks this quietly and tentatively. It gives you the courage to look back at him. He levels you with the same look he gave you when you offered to sleep in the same bed before. You hold his gaze, somehow.

“Yeah.”

And then, Jungkook gets up, taking his bedding with him, but you stop him.

“I don’t think-”

He pauses and you gesture at the bed to finish your sentence. There’s no space. That’s what you want to say, but it never leaves your lips. He understands though, and leaves the bedding on the couch.

There’s an awkwardness hanging between you as Jungkook walks over. It’s comical really, especially when you think about the fact that he and you have done a lot more than sleep in a bed together. Sure, you had alcohol buzzing through your systems then, but still, it’s ridiculous how tense it is right now.

When he lifts the cover, you can instantly feel the tininess of the bed. He and you will be sleeping centimetres apart from each other.

“Sorry,” Jungkook apologises when he bums your hand with his, clumsily slipping into bed. The apology is pointless though because his entire arm ends up being pressed against yours.

“I’m just gonna-” 

You don’t finish speaking and just turn on your side, back facing towards him. He nods before doing the same. You turn off the lamp. Jungkook shifts, and when you peek over your shoulder, you see him lying on the edge of the mattress, on the brink of falling out of the bed.

You sigh. “Do you-”

He perks up when you speak, and you have to pause to gather your voice. It’s hoarse for some reason.

“Do you want to come closer?”

You whisper the question. It’s barely audible, but with Jungkookso close to you, he hears it, clearly, like you whispered it into his ear.

“I’m fine-”

“You’re falling off the bed,” you tell him, and close your eyes before forcing the words out, clearing your throat. “If you want to, you can, uh, put your arm around me.”

For a moment, Jungkook doesn’t say anything. You think he’s going to decline, tell you it’s the last thing he would want-

“Are you, uh, sure?”

You want to throw the covers to the side. It’s too damn hot, your face on fire at this point.

“Yeah.”

Nothing happens and for a while, all you hear is his breathing before he starts to shift, his arm lifting underneath the cover and hesitantly sneaking around your middle.

“Is this, uh, okay?” he asks, careful to not put too much pressure on you, and you nod.

“Y-yeah.”

He clears his throat. “Alright.”

Jungkook is breathing into your neck. He must be close, you think, so close that if you turned, your lips would almost be touching. You squeeze your eyes shut at the thought, glad you’re facing away from him.

“Goodnight.”

You can’t tell him the same, your voice long gone at this point. 

“This is why you wanted to check out so early?” Jungkook thanks the waitress when she takes back the menu. “So we could have breakfast?”

Your face is scrunched up in a frown, confusion etched into your features. “Why couldn’t we just have breakfast at the hotel?”

Jungkook beams at you. “Hotel breakfast doesn’t compare to café breakfast, does it?”

“Yeah, but I could have slept another hour,” you say and run a hand through your hair, rubbing your eyes.

“Slept that badly, huh?”

You look at Jungkook. His face is twisted in something you can’t pinpoint.

“Stop,” you tell him, shaking your head. “I’m just always tired.”

He doesn’t respond then, and just curls his fingers around the orange cup, sipping on his coffee.

You’re not lying. You actually didn’t sleep badly, and you think you should assure him of that, tell Jungkook that you’re naturally always tired because you’re a college student, that sharing a bed with him isn’t the reason for your exhaustion, but somehow, you can’t will yourself to form the words.

“It’s nice here,” you say, looking around the café, the scnet of buttery pastries and freshly brewed coffee wafting through the air, powdered sugar floating around, the quiet hissing of the coffee machine in the back accompanying the piano music playing through the speakers.

“Best café in the city,” Jungkook told you, and you raise a brow.

“Did you scour Yelp-”

“Yes.”

“For how long?”

Jungkook makes a face then, and you know longer than anyone else would, hours at least. You shake your head in disbelief and mutter under your breath, “You’ve got too much time on your hands.”

“Well, you like it here right? Totally worth it then,” he says, and as much as you don’t want to, heat crawls up your neck.

Your food arrives shortly after; a handful of golden brown waffles topped with powdered sugar, slices of strawberries and blueberries, and a steaming buttery croissant with jam on the side. The sight is Instagram worthy, your jaw dropping wide open.

“See, scouring Yelp for hours on end was worth it,” Jungkook grins, taking a picture of your food, and you frown.

“How much did you sleep?” you ask, reaching for your coffee and blowing across the surface, narrowing your eyes. There’s a click when you put it back on its saucer, a drop of coffee spilling on it. Brown clashing with washed-out purple.

“Enough,” he tells you, and you know he’s lying, the espresso shot he had added to his coffee selling him out. “Anyway, I’m starving. Let’s just eat.”

You comply, ripping your freshly baked croissant in half, steam wafting from it in hazy waves. You place one half onto Jungkook’s plate. He does the same, transferring half of his waffles to you.

“Is this what we do now?” he asks you when you pick up some of the jam with the tip of the butter knife.

“Seems like it.”

You smile at each other.

“Thank you,” you mumble when Jungkook helps you, once again, to click off the seatbelt. “One day I’ll be able to do it myself.”

He smiles and throws the door shut. You jump out too. “Sure, Y/N. One day.”

You give him a look, and he offers you a smile. Side by side, you walk across the mostly empty parking lot before entering the convenience store. They all look more or less the same, you realise. You see no difference between this one and the first one you walked into.

Jungkook takes your hand into his almost automatically, and you don’t even stop for a second to think about it, gripping it back.

“Is this what we do now?” you ask as you browse through the aisle, looking for something that’s not chips and nuts.

He smiles. “Seems like it.”

You give him a look before shaking your head and leading him towards the refrigerator aisle, eyes finding a prepackaged box of sushi.

“Hey, you in the mood for sushi?” You pick up a box, inspecting it carefully. It doesn’t look too bad actually.

“When am I not?” he shoots back, and it’s decided then. Rest stop sushi for lunch it is.

You pick up another box and hand it to Jungkook before walking over to the checkout, grabbing two water bottles on your way there. The clerk hasn’t even begun ringing you up when you pull out your wallet and place an obscene amount of bills on the counter.

“Y/N!” Jungkook protests, but you ignore him, shoving his wallet to the side.

“You should have let me pay,” he tells you when you walk out of the store, still holding hands for some reason, and you snort.

“Well, then you should let me pay for gas.”

“I have let you-”

“Once.”

“Twice!”

You click your tongue. “You should let me pay every time.”

Without looking, you know he’s rolling his eyes. You don’t care, a smile on your lips. Paying for lunch is a win in your books. You’re sure you’ll be paying for gas too by the end of the trip.

The sushi is mediocre at best, and worse than the Chinese takeout you had yesterday at worst, but for some reason, neither Jungkook nor you stop eating. The wasabi helps. It overpowers the refrigerator taste that’s stuck to the rice.

And as you eat, occasionally taking sips from your water, watching the cars speed past you on the highway with the AC blasting in your faces because it’s still summer and your roadtrip playlist playing in the background, you have to smile. You don’t know why, but a smile just finds your lips. And when you look over to Jungkook, it widens. Even more when he notices your gaze and gives you a smile too.

Once more, you realise how beautiful summer is, how everything feels possible and impossible at the same time, how every hour reminds you of a childhood you’ve never had, how the months are filled with either melancholy or exhilaration.

You spent too much time at the rest stop, you conclude, when you arrive at the hotel, much later than planned. Because after you both finished your sushi, you suggested walking off the food. So, you both jumped out again, and walked a couple of laps, talking about everything and nothing. And hitting traffic soon after certainly delayed things by quite a bit as well.

The problem with arriving later than planned at the hotel means responding to your mother later than planned, so when you finally do, you’re not surprised your phone lights up with a call from her a minute later.

You look over your shoulder. Jungkook just went into the bathroom, meaning you had around ten minutes to get this done if sharing a hotel room with him for the past three days taught you anything. That should be more than enough.

You’re met with the usual questions—are you alright? Did you eat? Are you enjoying yourself?—and you answer them all with relative ease, staying quiet when your mother scolds you for having chips as dinner. It’s a like any, until-

“Yes, I will-”

You’re cut off by the sound of Jungkook’s soothingly soft singing that’s very much deserving of praise and attention any other day but elicits panic in you now. 

“Uh,” you start coughing and making extra noise, hoping to drown out Jungkook as you quickly walk out into the hallway, grabbing the key card before the door clicks shut.

“Are you sick, honey?” your mother asks.

“Oh, no, no, I just… choked on water,” you explain to her quickly. “I’m fine though.”

“Yeah? Be careful.” 

You hum, glad she didn’t bring up the-

“Also, who was singing just now?”

You screw your eyes shut and curse.

“Singing?” You try your best to sound confused. “What singing?”

Your mother shifts on the other side, and you would have definitely caved under her gaze if she was in front of you now. 

“Didn’t you hear? For a moment before you started choking, I heard a voice, singing. A boy, I think.”

You chuckle. “Yeah, uh, I don’t know-”

It’s the faint call of your name that halts you. You look at the door. It’s coming from there, you think. You pause to listen but nothing. You’re about to go back to dismissing your mother when the door opens, and a freshly showered Jungkook stands in front of you, hair dripping with water, droplets landing on his shirt, his eyes big.

“Y/N,” he says at your sight. “God, I already wondered where-”

“Mom, sorry, I gotta, uh, go-”

“Don’t you dare hang up on me, Y/N,” your mother interrupts you, and you freeze, feeling like a child. Your eyes lock with Jungkook’s, face contorted in horror. He presses his mouth shut, offering you an apologetic look.

“Who’s that?”

You close your eyes for a moment. “Jungkook.”

You don’t look at him when you speak his name.

There’s a long pause. “Can I talk to him?

And although she worded it like a question, you know it’s not. You hold your phone towards Jungkook, and his eyes grow gigantic. He shakes his head, backing away, but you shove it into his hands, mouthing to him just how sorry you were.

“Uh, h-hello?”

You push him back into the room, almost stumbling over his own feet as he does. You take your phone from him and put it on speaker.

“... to meet you.”

“Ah, yes, very, uh, nice to meet you too, Ms Y/L/N,” Jungkook coughs out and you sit down on the edge of Jungkook’s bed. (Yes, there are two beds, neither broken.”

“I just heard you singing,” your mother informs him, and you throw your hands into the air. How in the hell did she hear him?

“Oh.” 

Jungkook looks terrified, and you grab onto his hand resting on the bed, awaiting your mother’s words with him, sharing nervous looks. He interlocks his fingers with yours, your thumb brushing over his tattooed knuckles.

“No need to be embarrassed,” she says with a smile. “You’ve got a good voice.”

“T-thank you very much.”

There’s a pause then, and you lock eyes with Jungkook once more. You think maybe you can take the phone from him, but right just as you’re about to, your mother begins again,

“In what kind of relationship are you with my daughter?”

You think it's the straightforwardness of the question, the bluntness and casualness she asks it with. It has your jaw dropping open and your eyes screwing shut in horror. Embarrassment flushes through you, and you want to say something, but the words are all muddled on your tongue.

“Are you her boyfriend?”

You can’t even bring yourself to look at Jungkook, too mortified to peek into his direction.

“Uh, I-” He’s stammering, struggling to find his voice, and you can’t blame him, words failing you and refusing to come out too. What you can’t understand though is when he decides to say this, 

“Yes.”

You think you would have had a bigger reaction if you weren’t so tired. But you are, so all you do is stare ahead of you for a few seconds before crashing down on the bed, face burying into your hands.

“Oh,” your mother says, and you don’t know if she’s happy or not, if she’s going to ask Jungkook to give back your phone and scold you like she did sophomore year. “For how long now?”

“N-not long.”

“But you are serious, right?”

“Y-”

You shoot up and take your phone from Jungkook, putting an end to this before he can spew more bullshit.

“Mom, we gotta go,” you quickly say. “We’ll talk later. Bye.”

And before your mother can tell you not to hang up on her, you do and throw your phone to the side. Silence hits you, and you close your eyes again, not wanting to look at Jungkook. He shifts next to you and clears his throat. It takes you a while, but when you think you’re not going to end up strangling him, you peel your eyes open. 

Your mouth parts to speak, but no words leave you. It takes you a few tries to find your voice. All you manage is a simple but desperate and confused, “Why?”

“I got nervous-”

“So you told my mom we are dating?” you exclaim, snapping back, and stare at Jungkook. He doesn’t meet your gaze, wringing out his hands.

“Well, I- you know how awkward I am!” he argues, but it does nothing to calm you, exasperation carved into your face. “When she asked if we were dating, I-I just panicked, okay? I didn’t know what to say and-”

He deflates, and you’re stuck between deciding to yell at him and silently passing away. In the end, you choose the latter, burying your face in your hands and leaning back. You can already feel the headache building up. Your mother won’t let this go. You’ll hear an earful. As much as you love her, it’s frustrating how she still sees you as a child in need of protection every step of the way.

“I’m tired,” you say after a while. You don’t know how much time has passed. 

Neither of you have moved. There’s heaviness in the air. You get up without a word, slipping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind you. You don’t hear the sigh Jungkook lets out.

And with that, you’re knocked right back to the starting point. All of the progress you’ve made in the last three days, the friendship you’ve built, crumbles right to the floor, lying there in shards.

You can’t sleep.

Again, it’s not unusual for you to struggle to fall asleep on your first night at a hotel. The mattress is either too comfortable or not comfortable enough. The cover is either too thick or not thick enough. The pillow either sinks in too much or- You get the point. But you know that’s not why you can’t sleep. It’s the heaviness that weighs down your chest, the tension that fills every corner and crack of the room, the rigidness you inhale with every breath.

You turn on your back. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook on his back too. The two of you lying in your respective beds, and even though you’re only a handful of steps away from each other, it feels like a rift, a gaping hole, splitting you up, stranding both of you on your own lonely islands.

“Y/N?”

It’s quiet, tentatively.

“Yeah?”

Your voice sounds short and odd. You’re no longer mad- you don’t even think you were that to begin with. You were just… frustrated.

“I’m sorry.”

You turn your head to him and grip the covers. Words sit at the back of your throat, assurances that he doesn’t need to apologise, but before they can form on your tongue and spill out, he continues.

“I-I know that I put you in a weird spot, but I just-” There’s a pause, followed up with a sigh. “If you want, I’ll explain it to your mother- I just got flustered and nervous. And you’ve got every right to be mad at me, but just know I am sorry-”

He halts when you sit up and turn on the lamp. You both blink at the sudden brightness, but you move on quickly, needing to set the record straight.

“Jungkook, no,” you begin, shaking your head, eyes staring firmly into his, “don’t apologise. You don’t have to talk to my mother, I’ll figure it out myself. And actually, I wasn’t mad at you. I was just,” your gaze lowers, “frustrated because- my mother, she’s a bit protective of me, you know? She’s always been super critical of the guys I date, you know? And I’m just gonna get an earful-”

You pause and take a moment to breathe. “But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I should apologise. So I’m sorry, Jungkook. I put you in a weird spot. I’m truly sorry for that.”

He sits up too, crossing his legs. A soft smile finds his face. “Looks like we’re both sorry, huh?”

“I’m more though.”

His smile turns into a grin. “No, I am.”

You raise a brow. “Pretty sure I am.”

He tuts you. “I’m going to have to politely and respectfully disagree with you. I definitely feel more sorry.”

You hold his gaze. “This is gonna go on and on, isn’t it?” When he smiles, you sigh. “I’m going back to sleep. Goodnight.”

You turn off the lamp. He laughs.

And even though the issue is resolved, you don’t slip into sleep. It’s like the exhaustion that plagued you previously has dissipated, and for some reason, you’re cold. It keeps you up. You want to turn off the AC, but you don’t want to get up either and risk waking up Jungkook. So you do nothing.

An eternity passes, and you still find no sleep. Your eyes trace over to Jungkook’s side. He has his back turned to you. You press your lips into a line. In the dark, you can’t figure out if he’s sleeping or not.

“Jungkook?”

And like you yelled his name, he snaps his head around. “Yeah?”

He’s wide awake. Still, you keep your voice small when you continue, “Are you sleeping?”

“Yes, I’m sleeping right as we speak,” he tells you, and you send him a glare in the darkness. You think you can make out a smile on his face.

“I can’t sleep.”

You’re not sure why you tell Jungkook this, how he’s supposed to solve that problem for you, but the words are already out there and you can’t take them back. You expect a snarky comment, something annoying that will make you roll your eyes, but you’re met with the opposite.

“Do you want to watch something?”

You look at him with big eyes. “What would we be watching?”

“Anything you want,” he tells you, and even though you’re very much overwhelmed with the unlimited choice, you smile.

“Let’s.”

And just like that, the lights get turned on again, the night feeling foolishly young once more. 

Jungkook digs out his laptop from his suitcase and you fish out the only bag of chips you have left from the first day.

“Where do we…”

You trail off, but Jungkook knows what you’re asking. 

“My bed?” 

You nod and grab your pillow while he sets everything up. 

When you’re both finally in bed, covers thrown over you, hands taking turns to reach into the chips bag, he presents you with the hardest question anyone has ever asked you,

“What do you want to watch?”

You frown as you look at everything Netflix offers. You can’t choose, of course, so you choose to shoot back the question.

“What do you want to watch?”

Jungkook starts scrolling, mouth pressed in a line. “A film or-”

“Film.”

“Alright,” he clicks on the film section, “let’s see what- oh, how about Spirited Away?”

You’re quick to shake your head. “No, no, no, that’s too scary-”

“Scary?” Jungkook raises a brow.

You look away. “Look, I get scared easily, okay? No face is kinda scary, don’t you think? It’s also the middle of the night-”

“But I’d be watching with you.”

You scrunch your nose, shaking your head no again. “Let’s just watch Totoro.” 

You feel bad for shooting down his suggestion. 

“We can watch Spirited Away after.” You shove a handful of chips into your mouth, mumbling while chewing, “You can protect me then.”

Jungkook looks at you, his hand stilling in the chips bag. You don’t return his gaze.

“You know, since you’re my boyfriend or whatever,” you add quickly and clear your throat, hoping it’s obvious that it’s a joke as you search up Totoro. You don’t have to look to know there’s a smile on his lips.

“Gladly-”

You start the film, and Jungkook quiets down. You don’t feel cold anymore, not with him pressed to your side.

And as you lean back to watch, quietly munching on the chips, you know you were wrong. You weren’t knocked back to the starting point of your friendship. He and you have come a long way, figuratively and literally.

You’re first to wake up.

The first thing you notice is the weird taste in your mouth, and you curse your past self for thinking having chips after brushing your teeth was a good idea. The second thing you notice is the arm around your middle, an arm that unmistakably belongs to none other than Jungkook; the tattoos confirming your assumption. The third thing you notice is just how close he is to you; his breath in your neck, his chest against your back, warmth radiating off him. 

Your heart beats heavy in your chest, heavier than usual. It should scare you, but for some reason, it doesn’t. For some reason, when it’s Jungkook, you feel at ease.

And even though waking up in the same bed as him prompted you to run out last time, you don’t even feel a smidge of that same panic. In fact, you don’t feel anything at all. Actually, no, you do feel something. You feel like closing your eyes again, slipping back into slumber with him.

So you do.

Before you drift back though, you wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t run out two years ago.

When you finally wake up, it’s the middle of the day. A glance at the clock and you come to the mortifying realisation that you have exactly five minutes to check out. Clearly, not enough time.

You’re hurrying around the room, picking up everything that belongs to you and throwing it into your suitcase (because even though you didn’t unpack, you still have quite a bit lying around) when Jungkook suddenly stills, neck pillow in his hand.

“Do you want to stay another day?”

“What?”

“I mean, we’re not gonna check out in time anyway, right? And so far we haven’t had the time to explore any of the cities we’ve been in either, so how about we do it now then? Let’s stay another night.”

Your brows knit together. “But I mean…. don’t we have to, you know, drive-”

“It’s just another eight hours until we’re-” He cuts himself off, flicking his wrist. “You know what? Forget it. It’s a stupid idea.”

Jungkook dismisses his suggestion before you can even think about it, going back to packing up, hooking the neck pillow to his bag before grabbing the clothes he has lying around. You watch him for a few seconds before taking out the shirt he just folded and throwing it onto the bed. 

“Let’s stay another day,” you smile, expecting a smile from him too, but Jungkook doesn’t, face twisting in something you can’t figure out. “What? What’s wrong?”

“I ironed the shirt before the trip. It wrinkles really easily,” he tells you quietly, a strange noise coming from the back of his throat. He’s in pain. “But it’s fine. I-I can iron it again. At home. Later. Actually, I didn’t want to wear it on the trip anyway.”

It doesn’t sound fine at all.

You cup your hands in front of your mouth. “I’m so sorry-”

Jungkook stops you from walking over to the bed and desperately try to smooth out the wrinkles, shaking his head. 

“It’s fine, Y/N,” he assures you again, and now it actually sounds fine. “Really, it’s fine.”

“I’m sorry,” you tell him nevertheless and rub your hands together, eyes drifting to the side.

He gives you a smile. “Well, I’m gonna go down and talk to the reception about us staying another night.”

“Go do that.”

And when the door shuts, you smile.

Being alone for once, you take the chance to pull out your phone to text your mother a long-winded explanation of last night and how Jungkook and you are merely friends. You think that will do for now, assure her you didn’t keep another boyfriend secret from her. Still, you’re certain you’ll get an earful once you’re back.

“And now, if I may draw your attention to your right here—” You turn your head, a smile growing on your lips as you watch Jungkook struggle to find the rest of his sentence. “—you’ll see this… gorgeous little famous brick building.”

You raise your hand. He picks you. “What is it famous for?”

“Ah, yes, great question, young lady,” he coughs, and you can quite literally see the wheels turn in his head. “It’s famous… for its ghosts.”

And even though he doesn’t word it like a question, it very much sounds like one.

“Ghosts?” you repeat, raising a brow.

“Yes, ghosts,” Jungkook repeats, doubling down. “Happy ghosts though. Not spooky ghosts. I know how easily you scare.”

You roll your eyes, regretting revealing this information to him. “Please continue your tour.”

“Right, yes, follow me.”

Once your reservations were settled, you realised neither of you know what to do with all of that extra time. A city tour was thrown around, but it turns out booking a city tour on such notice is more than difficult. But Jungkook was quick to tell you anyone could give a city tour. Hell, he could do it!

So here you are, walking through the streets with Jungkook as he scrambles to make things up as you go, pointing at buildings you walk past and telling you about their supposed history.

“And this,” he stops and you look up, “is probably the most famous sight-”

“A McDonald’s?” you deadpan, scrunching your nose.

“A McDonald’s,” he says with a nod, and you raise your hand again. “Yes, please?”

“So where can I get my money back because clearly, this tour is a scam-”

“Y/N!”

“You’re telling me that McDonald's is the best thing this town has to offer? This is supposed to be the best city tour ever? A sham, I tell you!” 

“I’m trying here.” A dramatic pout grows on Jungkook’s lips, and you can’t help but laugh. You pinch his cheek. 

He scrunches his face and pushes your hand aside. “Y/N!”

“Well, if you’re gonna pout like a child, you’re gonna be treated like one,” you tell him, smiling.

“If you’re so dissatisfied with the tour, do it better-”

“I never proclaimed myself to be the best tour guide around though,” you shoot back, and he scrunches his nose.

“Being a tour guide is hard, alright-”

“You just suck.”

Jungkook presses his lips into a line and stares at you. You give him a smile, enjoying this far too much.

“You’re mean, Y/N, you know that?” he hisses, and you laugh. “I’m not doing the tour anymore.”

“Thank god,” you exhale, placing your hand on your chest, feigning relief. Jungkook gapes at you. You laugh again. “Come on, let’s just go.”

“Where to?” he asks you, and you hook your arm with his, smiling.

“Anywhere,” you say.

Jungkook blinks at you before finally, cracking a smile too.

“Anywhere it is.”

You walk side by side, exploring the streets and corners and shops this city has to offer, dipping in and out of cafés and bookstores on your way. And at some point, you’re holding his hand. You don’t notice it until you have to let go at some point and reach for Jungkook’s hand again. You can’t say whose hands wandered first, but you can say it feels oddly natural. It feels oddly right.

“Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Jungkook asks you with a smile when the credits start rolling, the outro music of Spirited Away filling the air around you. He turns his head to you.

“Shut up,” you mumble, downing the last bit of wine you have left in your paper cup (this hotel is the opposite of fancy). “But no, it wasn’t.”

He grins at you over his shoulder as he puts away his laptop. “See, I told you.”

“The film still traumatised my young self, alright? The ghost-”

“No Face,” he supplies.

“Right, yeah, anyway, that guy’s fucking scary when you first watch the film. The way he follows Chihiro and won’t leave her alone?” You shudder and shake your head.

Jungkook’s still grinning when he fills up his paper cup with wine, gesturing for you to hand him yours. 

“Cheers.” 

Jungkook clinks his paper cup with yours, and your shoulder shakes with laughter as you drink, eyes locked with his. You’re first to break, your hand quickly coming up to your mouth to stop any of the wine from spilling.

“You’re so stupid,” you tell him when you’ve managed not to make a mess of the sheets, coughing a bit. Jungkook laughs. 

You place your half-empty paper cup on the nightstand and lie down, tired from the day and alcohol. You’re tipsy, for sure. Jungkook follows you, throwing the blanket over you. You’re quick to snuggle into it. Your faces are close, inches apart. One of you should back away, allow for more space, but neither of you even think of it. You just lie in the quiet together.

The warm yellow glow from the lamp on the nightstand spills beautifully down Jungkook’s face, softening his features to butter. It accentuates the gentle slope of his nose, contrasts the moles imprinted on his skin, and brings out his starry doe eyes, eyes filled with so much gentleness and goodness you think your heart is going to burst if you looked into them too long.

Gazing at him, you can’t help but smile at the thought that all of this wouldn’t have happened if Sooyoung hadn’t convinced you. You would have never gotten to know Jungkook the way you do now, seen all of his sides—the awkward and shy one, the brave and protective one, the caring and kind one—, and realised he’s one of the best people you’ve ever met.

You thank Sooyoung.

“Hey, Y/N?”

He speaks quietly, in a whisper. You match his volume.

“Yeah?”

Jungkook doesn’t avert his eyes when he speaks, “Are we friends?”

You blink a handful of times, taking a moment to think about his question. A smile curls on your lips when you come up with the answer, “Almost.”

He raises a brow. “Almost?”

“Yes, almost.”

Jungkook stares at you before chuckling, shaking his head. “I’ve never gone on a roadtrip with any of my friends, or even shared the same bed with them. Not even Joon, and he’s my best friend. And now you tell me we’re just almost friends?”

Your smile widens into a grin. His eyes are digging into your face. You don’t meet his gaze. “Looks like you’re not that close with your friends then.”

He lets your words settle into the air, only expressing his disapproval with a click of his tongue and a scrunch of his nose.

“But it’s weird, isn’t it?” you begin quietly, still not looking at Jungkook. “It’s weird to think about how quickly we’ve grown close. This trip almost didn’t happen, you know?”

He looks at you.

“When Soo suggested you’d come, I wasn’t… thrilled.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry,” you chuckle. “But can you blame me for being hesitant to be stuck in a car with a stranger? I didn’t want it to be awkward.” You turn your head to the side, eyes finding his. “And I wasn’t wrong. Remember when-”

“Yes, I remember,” Jungkook quickly interrupts. “I remember how awkward it was-”

“You mean how awkward you were,” you correct and earn yourself an eye roll from him. “What? Are you denying it?”

“I’m not,” he mutters, scrunching his nose. “But it’s not like you tried to make it less awkward.”

“Well, sorry, I didn’t say anything when you put the snacks in the back, or when you silently watched-” 

“I get it, Y/N,” Jungkook interjects, a dramatic pout forming on his lips. It takes you everything not to pinch his cheek. 

���You know, I was so sure I was going to regret it, you know?”

“Agreeing to let me come?”

“Yeah, I mean you and I were strangers before this. Even with Soo and Joon around, I wasn’t sure it wasn’t gonna be… weird.”

“But you don’t regret it, do you?”

You think about the last couple of days, think about all of the experiences you’ve made, how you’ve won a new friend, and you can’t contain the smile that slips onto your lips, stretching from one cheek to the other. The answer is obvious.

“No, I don’t.”

And even though you aren’t looking at each other, gazes tracing the ceiling together, you know there is a smile on the other’s lips. Silence hits you, comfortable silence. 

“Hey, Y/N?” 

You hum in response, growing too tired to speak, eyes starting to fall shut. You think Jungkook notices, think that’s why he’s pausing, to contemplate whether or not to continue. But you’re wrong. He doesn’t pause because he picked up on your exhaustion, his mind racing far too fast for him to. He pauses because he doesn’t know if he should bring it up in the first place, let the words slip that have been on his tongue forever now. 

Jungkook takes a deep breath. “But we aren’t strangers, are we?”

He speaks quietly, and you don’t think you would have heard him if you weren’t lying in bed together, side by side. You want to turn your head, but for some reason, your neck feels oddly stiff. Your brows knit together.

“What… do you mean?”

And then there’s another round of silence. 

It allows your mind to ponder over his words, dissect them into their own pieces, pull them apart, syllable for syllable, figure out the meaning of them separately and then together, and before you can come to any kind of conclusion, Jungkook speaks again,

“Remember when you asked me about my biggest regret and I wouldn’t tell you?” He doesn’t wait for an answer. “Do you still wanna know?”

You should probably ask him where this was going, tell him he’s jumping from one thing to another, but-

“Yeah.”

Jungkook shifts. There’s a feeling growing in your gut. It’s not bad, at least you don’t think. It’s just there, alerting you.

“There was this girl,” he starts, and you listen closely. “I met her during a party two summers ago. She bumped into me. Almost spilled her drink all over me. We talked the entire night, even played a round of beer pong even though neither of us like beer.”

Your heart begins thumping in your chest, heavy and hard. The realisation hits you so fast you can’t even look away. It whips you right across the cheek. 

Jungkook remembers.

“Somehow, we ended up at my place, and,” something like a smile finds his lips, “well, one thing led to another. The next morning though,” you know what he’ll say, “I woke up alone.”

You close your eyes and swallow.

“So my biggest regret is probably never asking for her number,” he whispers, his words breathed into the air, floating around in the room, lifted by the warm light, presented right in front of your eyes. You don’t want to look at them, heat crawling up your neck at their sight. He doesn’t know what he’s saying, you tell yourself. It’s the exhaustion and alcohol. That must be it.

“Or you know, not telling her I’d love to get to know her more and she can stay for breakfast if she wants,” he says. “I would have loved it to wake up next to her.”

You are his biggest regret?

It makes no sense. It seems absurd to you. He must be joking, you tell yourself. There’s no way any of this is real, that he didn’t get upset at your disappearance but simply disappointed and sad, that the night you shared together left as much of an impression on him as it did on you. 

“I can’t believe you remember,” you say, voice thin and weak. 

“Of course, I did.”

He turns to you then, and instantly, your heart stops in your chest. You wait, count the seconds, anticipating his words. You don’t know what you’re expecting him to say, but it’s not this,

“I thought you were really cute.”

His confession knocks the air right out of your lungs, all of it escaping you in one go. If you had it in you, you’d turn to him and meet his eyes. But your gaze remains stuck on the ceiling.

He’s drunk, you repeat to yourself. The words are laced with alcohol, for sure. His mind is clouded with drunken foolishness. It must be.

“Jungkook-”

The rest of your sentence never leaves your lips, a terrible knot in your throat. Words are clumsy on your tongue, your mind jumbled with thoughts you can’t even begin to dissect. It’s terrible, the minute of silence feeling so full and empty at the same time. You learn just how loud being silent can be, how deafening, how heavy.

“I’m serious.” 

But still, you can’t respond, your mouth opening and closing in a desperate manner to get something to spill out. Nothing comes out though. You can’t quite find the words, but you think he knows. You think he knows you want to apologise for leaving the morning so abruptly, think he knows you haven’t forgotten either, think he knows you would have stayed if he had just asked you to.

The click of the lamp snaps you out of your thoughts, suddenly plunged into darkness. Jungkook lies back down, pulling the covers over you. It marks the end of your conversation. 

Your mouth presses into a line and your eyes flutter shut because you know very well you aren’t going to find your voice until tomorrow morning. You curse yourself and your inability to speak. It’s stupid. You know very well how much courage it must have taken him to tell you all of this, and here you are, lying in silence and-

Your train of thought is stopped when Jungkook grabs your hands underneath the covers and interlaces his fingers with yours. It’s then that you look at him, head twisting to the side, eyes meeting his. And you know, this isn’t the alcohol speaking. It’s him speaking, every word is his.

Jungkook glows, you discover, because, in the darkness, you can see him crystal clear, bright as the stars and the moon combined, outshining everything and anything.

“I still do.” His eyes stare into yours. “I still think you’re really cute.”

And when Jungkook carefully puts his arm around your waist, you know it’s fine you can’t respond right now. You inch closer to him, your bodies practically melting into one. His touch is warm and comforting. It feels right.

You fall asleep.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” you say, scrunching your nose and looking at the McDonalds bag in your lap. “Our last dinner on the roadtrip.”

“For now,” Jungkook adds, putting on your shared roadtrip playlist. He takes the brown bag from you and unpacks it. “Don’t forget, we still have to drive back in a week.”

You take the cheeseburger he hands you. “What happened to my McDonald’s ban?”

Jungkook unwraps his burger and bites into it. “Well, we’re in the middle of nowhere and unless you prefer stale chips, go ahead.”

You’re pouting as you unwrap your cheeseburger. “Whatever.”

He smiles.

You haven’t talked about last night. When you woke up, you thought you would, but you didn’t. You honestly can’t say how, but it’s not awkward. Still, there’s an elephant in the room, or, well, in the car, sitting in the back with you and patiently waiting for one of you to address it. 

“Can’t believe we never thought of eating in the back,” Jungkook mumbles, dipping a fry into the sweet and sour sauce. You’ve arranged a spread on the middle seat, the bag serving as a plate.

“I know, right? It’s so crammed in the front.”

“Well, now we know better,” Jungkook says, and you hum, grabbing a chicken nugget and throwing it into your mouth, wiping your greasy fingers and mouth on the napkin you have in your lap.

“Can’t believe we’re almost there,” you mumble, taking a deep breath, the weight of the journey dawning on you. “We really drove for five days straight, huh?”

“Four,” he corrects. “But yeah, crazy to think about. Didn’t feel all that long though.”

“I thought it would be worse and more exhausting.”

Jungkook locks eyes with you, a smile forming on his lips. “Yeah, it was really fun.”

You smile too. “Yeah, really fun.”

And then you go back to eating, munching on your respective burgers, grabbing a fry or chicken nugget in between bites. By the end your bellies are so full, neither of you want to move, in need of a break. All you manage to do is gather your garbage in the McDonald’s bag before collapsing again.

“What was your favourite part about the trip so far?”

Jungkook turns to you at the question, eyes meeting yours. He frowns. “Probably when we had Chinese food in the park.”

You nod, approving of his choice. “Yeah, that was really great and fun.”

“What about you?”

A smile grows on your lips because you already know your answer. “Your shitty city tour.”

Jungkook levels you with a look, shaking his head. “It wasn’t that shitty.”

You laugh. “It was.”

“Y/N-!”

“Just accept it. It was really bad.” He pouts. You grin. “But it was really fun too.”

“You mean fun for you,” he hisses. “You laughed at me.”

And at his words, you have to laugh again. As much as he tries to act upset, Jungkook has to mirror you, the corners of his lips involuntarily pulling up.

“Sorry.”

“Please, you’re not sorry at all.”

“I’m not,” you admit and grin at him.

Jungkook rolls his eyes and shakes his head. You look at him when he suddenly sits up.

“What?”

“Let’s take a picture!”

You blink at his enthusiasm. “What?”

“We never took any pictures.” He pulls out his phone. “Let’s take some now.”

He pats the seat next to him and you’re quick to move in, knees knocking against his. You adjust your hair to your liking, Jungkook patiently waiting for you to finish, his phone already up in the air and ready to go.

“Alright?”

You nod, giving a small smile and holding up a peace sign as Jungkook clicks on the shutter. He mimics you, his smile toothier than yours though. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” you say and he stops, turning his gaze to you. “The way we’re sitting-” You click to view the pictures. “Look, it’s kinda awkward.”

Jungkook hums, agreeing with you. “How about this?”

You stiffen when he puts an arm around you and pulls you even closer to him. But you relax soon after, a smile forming on your lips.

“This good?” he asks you, loosening his hold on you, clearly ready to back off again, but you’re quick to nod. In fact, you inch a bit closer to him, your face right next to his as you prepare for the new set of pictures.

Your faces quickly morph from toothy smiles to tongues sticking out and your features contorting in odd ways. The pictures go from casual to silly in a matter of seconds. In the last couple ones, you’re squishing each other’s cheeks, and by the end, you’re laughing.

“Oh, this one’s cute,” Jungkook says and shows you his phone. You lean over to look. It’s one of the first ones when you were still trying. You’re smiling into the camera, your hand thrown up in a peace sign. Jungkook has his arm around you, a smile on his own lips, but instead of staring into the camera like you, his eyes are on you.

You pause, the look on his face surprising you. It’s so soft and gentle. It’s like he’s looking at something very dear to him, something precious, something he loves. But he’s simply staring at you.

“Yeah… it’s cute,” you mumble, voice much quieter now. And when you lift your eyes and meet his gaze, your voice disappears into thin air. Because Jungkook’s right there, in front of you, his face inches away from yours.

This is it. You know. If you were in a romcom, you’d kiss. You’d share your epic first kiss, sitting in the back of your shared car after four days of driving across the country, four days of getting to know each other, four days of sharing the same bed. This is the moment. The moment that will define this summer, the moment in which you’ll tell Jungkook all of the things you wanted to say yesterday but didn’t have the courage to. The moment that will bring you and him together.

It’s there, right in front of you, dangling and waiting to be grasped and held tight, seized.

Your eyes darken as they lower to his lips, heart thumping loud and heavy in your ribcage, everything inside you screaming at you to do it, to finally find the bravery you couldn’t muster up yesterday and two years ago when you first ran from him. Your hand grips onto his knee for support, and Jungkook’s here to provide it, his hand gripping yours, encouraging you; the other one finding anchor around your waist, his phone somewhere on the floor, forgotten about.

You feel his breath on your lips. It’s about to happen. You’re mere split seconds away from it when the sound of your phone ringing cuts through the air.

It’s gone.

The moment dissipates into thin air right in front of your eyes, leaving behind a cloud of awkwardness.

You break apart, the distance between you feels endless. Your heart sinks in your chest, the feeling of Jungkook’s touch imprinted on your skin, still hot and burning, questions hanging in the air.

You’re scrambling to the front when you pick up the call, pressing your phone to your ear to the point your knuckles turn white. And even though there’s a part of you that’s glad that you were interrupted because you don’t know what would have happened after the kiss, there’s another part of you that’s cursing yourself for switching your phone from silent to loud.

“Yes, hi,” you sputter, clearing your throat and stumbling into the passenger seat.

“Hey, Y/N!” Sooyoung greets you, and you don’t look in Jungkook’s direction when he gets into the driver’s seat, his phone back in his pocket. He lowers the music. “Where are you guys?”

You frown. “Uh, we-we are having dinner.”

There’s a pause, and you hate the silence because it makes you so acutely aware of the silence between Jungkook and you.

“Are you alright? You sound weird.”

“Weird?” you say with an exaggerated chuckle. “What? No, of course, I’m alright.”

Sooyoung hums on the other side, sounding more than less convinced. “Well, if you say so.”

“I’m alright. It’s alright,” you repeat, and you don’t know if that’s for her, you, or Jungkook. “Anyway, why, uh, are you calling me?”

“Oh, right-” Sooyoung cuts herself short and you think you can hear someone talk to her. You frown, the voice sounding a lot like Taehyung, but just before you can ask, she returns. “Uh, can you tell me when you’ll be at the hotel?”

“Why do you wanna know when we’re at the hotel?” you ask, your frown deepening. You glance over to Jungkook. He has the same look on his face.

“Just because.”

Now it’s Sooyoung who sounds weird.

It takes you a moment to get it, your frown slowly disappearing at the realisation. 

“Soo, are you at the hotel?”

Jungkook snaps his head to you, and you turn on speaker phone. There are hisses and curses from the other side until-

“Surprise!”

You wince, the onslaught of voices blowing out your speakers. Jungkook and you look at each other.

“Yeah, hi, we’re at the hotel,” Taehyung says, confirming your previous assumption. The smile’s evident on his lips. “So hurry the fuck up, you two lovebirds, and get your asses here.”

“Lovebirds?” Jungkook sputters, exasperated and embarrassed at the same time. “We are no- what are you talking about, Tae?”

You can practically see Taehyung roll his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, just-”

He’s cut off by Seokjin. “Hey guys, how are you?”

“Uh, good,” you answer for the two of you, confused and struggling to wrap your brain around this. You’re not catching up really. “H-how are you guys all at the hotel? How did you get there? And who’s at-”

“Everybody. Everyone’s here, grandmas. How are we at the hotel before you when you had like a two-day head start?”

The insults continue, your friends berating you for taking so long. Namjoon puts an end to it, taking the phone and telling you to just get here as fast as possible, promising to explain everything once you’re at the hotel. 

When you hang up, you feel tired. Your eyes lock with Jungkook’s.

“Ready?”

Somehow, there’s no awkwardness anymore. You’re not sure how that’s possible, if it’s the fact that your friends are all waiting for you at the hotel that distracts your minds enough, or the fact that it can’t ever be awkward between you anymore because there’s trust and comfort. Either way, you’re glad.

“Sure, yeah.”

You sound less than ready, and Jungkook smiles before slotting the keys into the ignition.

“We’ll be fine.”

You hope he’s right.

It turns out that once Sooyoung and Namjoon got back in town, Hoseok was quick to propose to drive after you guys. After all, he’s just finished all of his exams and is down for a little adventure. Jimin joined in next as the second driver. And with Jimin in on it, Sana and Yeji jumped on board too. Soon enough your gigantic friend group was packing up their things for a last-minute summer roadtrip, Nine people crammed in three cars. With so many people, the costs were down to nothing, hotels and food costing a penny, and the great number of drivers allowed them to go for hours on end without breaks.

And by the end, you feel dumb for not suspecting anything earlier. You should have because Sooyoung’s daily calls stopped all of a sudden. But you were too preoccupied to notice.

“I’m really so sorry,” Sooyoung tells you once you’re in your room, and you sit down on one of the two beds.

“It’s fine, Soo,” you say, patting her hand. “It was actually fun with Jungkook.”

“Yeah?” She’s studying your face for any hints of deception. “You’re not just saying that? You can be honest now. We’re not on the phone anymore.”

“Well,” you sigh, “as much as I hate to admit it, but you were right. He really is nice. So no, I’m not just saying that.”

And at that, Sooyoung lights up. “Told you so!”

You give her hand one more squeeze before lying down, sinking into the mattress. She follows you.

“Oh, did he recognise you, by the way? I’ve been meaning to ask.”

You keep your gaze trained on the ceiling as you contemplate what to tell her. You don’t think you want to get into it all, not now at least when so much is still not resolved, when you don’t know yourself what’s going on between Jungkook and you.

“No.”

“Oh.” Sooyoung sounds disappointed, you think. “Well, glad I was right again.”

You hum.

Your conversation quickly moves on to her romantic getaway with Namjoon because she hasn’t gotten much of a chance to tell you about it, the fact she was stuck in another town taking precedence.

“Anyway, I think I’m gonna wash up,” Sooyoung tells you and slaps your knee before getting up. It’s only then that you see her suitcase in the corner of the room. You straighten up.

“Wait, are we sharing a room?”

She looks at you from her crouched position, pyjamas in her hands. Her brows knit together. “Who else do you think you’d be sharing a room with?” Her lips quirk up into a smirk when you don’t respond. “Kook?”

You laugh, but it sounds off. “What? No! I-I thought you were sharing a room with Joon.”

She shakes her head and gets up, her toiletry bag and pyjamas in her hands. “No, you’re stuck with me, Y/N. Kook’s with Joon.”

You nod and barely register Sooyoung walking into the ensuite bathroom, one thought occupying your mind.

You won’t be alone with Jungkook anymore.

[jeon jungkook - 00:32] : hey are you still up?

[you - 00:32] : yeah whats up?

You watch as the three grey dots appear and disappear for a few seconds, and you’re about to ask him to spit it out when-

[jeon jungkook - 00:32] : you wanna meet up in the car?

You’ve typed out the answer and hit send faster than you can blink.

[you - 00:32] : be right there

You don’t even check if Sooyoung’s actually sleeping or not when you climb out of bed and leave, your phone and the keycard to the room are the only things with you. And even though it’s summer, it is a lot chillier at night. You shiver once you’re outside, but you push through, marching across the empty parking lot.

When you get in, Jungkook’s already sitting in the passenger seat.

“Nice pyjamas,” he tells you with a smile, and you roll your eyes. He’s still in his clothes from before.

“Thanks,” you say, shutting the door, shivering when the AC hits you.

“Are you cold, Y/N?” Jungkook asks you, disbelief on his face, and you grumble.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m a wuss that gets scared by everything and is also cold sensitive.”

“You’re not cold-sensitive, Y/N. You’re slight temperature changes-”

“Is that why you texted me?” you interrupt.

Jungkook sits back and shakes his head. “Obviously not.” 

He pauses and shuts off the AC before taking off the flannel he’s wearing. “Here.” He holds it out to you, and you can’t meet his eyes when you accept it. It’s a bit big on you. It brings instant warmth. You smell him on it.

“How is it with Soo?”

“Fine,” you say. “How’s it with-”

“Fine too.”

Neither of you say anything for a moment. “Is it just me-”

“-but it’s weird to share a room with other people, right?” you finish his sentence, and he’s quick to agree with you. 

“Yeah, it does feel… weird.”

There’s another pause.

Jungkook claps his hands together. “Alright, let’s do this.”

You frown. “Do what?”

But instead of elaborating, he just gets out, gesturing for you to follow him. Left with no other choice, you do, wrapping his flannel tighter around your body when a breeze hits you.

“What do you-”

You’re cut off by the sound of ‘Isn’t She Lovely’ by Stevie Wonder playing through Jungkook’s phone. He gives you a smile when you look at him, walking over to you and grabbing your phone and the keycard out of your hand to put it on the ground, next to his own phone.

“What are we-”

Once again, you don’t finish your question, Jungkook taking your hands into his.

“We’re dancing,” he tells you with a grin, and before you can even protest, he spins you around.

“Jungkook,” you say when you’re facing him again, cheeks ablaze. “I can’t dance.”

“Just go with it,” he says, but when he sees the knit between your brows, he adds, “Trust me.”

And with that, you can’t help but let him lead you, his hands guiding your every move as you dance in the empty parking lot, spinning like you’ve got a clue of what you’re doing.

“See, you can dance,” Jungkook whispers when you’re back in his arms. “You’re great at this.”

You shake your head at his compliment, disagreeing, but it’s a nice thing to hear. 

And so you continue, clumsily and slowly dancing around, feet shaky and hesitant as you move. Stars are dotting the night sky, shining down on you, the moon high up there, smiling, the lonely street lamp you’re under illuminating you like a spotlight, the flannel billowing out around you with every spin you do. At this moment, as you hold Jungkook’s hands, you’re convinced it’s just you and him in this world. 

And right at this moment, you can feel it—the summer magic in the air, the endlessness of tonight, the potential and possibilities all around you, the looming question of where is this going?. It’s all right here, surrounding you, and for some reason, it’s not scary.

It’s not scary when the air is warm and fuzzy and the moon and stars are above you, lighting up the sky, and summer is puncturing every minute that passes by. It’s not scary when you’re holding Jungkook’s hands and gazing into his eyes. 

By the end of the song, you’re out of breath, panting. But you’re smiling too. And when it plays again, neither of you let go of one another. Instead, you start to sway. You rest your head on Jungkook’s chest, eyes closing as you listen, his heart beating under your ear. His arms sneak around your middle. He holds you close.

You never thought you could feel at peace and terrified at the same time, never thought you could feel like this when the realisation sinks in with you.

You’re falling- no, tripping for Jungkook, stumbling over your own two feet and plunging head first into darkness, the unknown.

The fall is inevitable, you realise. It’s been happening for the past two years; starting on the first night you spend together and continuing with every quick glance you caught of him when you walked across campus, fuelled by the stories Sooyoung would relay to you every week, the jokes she’d tell you he made that day, and now propelled faster by this trip, by the hours locked in the car together, the nights slept in the same bed, sharing the same blanket, hearts beating side by side, closer than ever.

There’s no stopping this, and you don’t know if you would want to even if you could.

You’re not sure what it is, if it’s the summer magic floating in the air, but falling in love, giving your heart to someone, pulling it out of your chest, loosening it from its roots in between your ribs, gift-wrapping it and tying a bow around it, to hand it over to Jungkook for safekeeping, for it to be his and his only, seems less daunting than ever. In fact, it seems right, the only possible thing you could be doing now, a natural progression.

And even though you haven’t landed yet, haven’t gotten to the end of your fall, you know it will be fine. You know it will be soft and gentle. You know there will be someone to catch you. Putting your heart into Jungkook’s hands, as terrifying as it is, is the natural thing to do. You shouldn’t be so willing to give a piece away from you, to hand it over so easily, should want to run away in panic, but for some reason, you’ve never wanted to do anything more.

“We’ve done it all,” Jungkook whispers into your ear during the harmonica solo, and you stop swaying.

“What do you mean?” you ask, and you can hear him smile.

“You said this isn’t a romcom in which we dance under the stars, go on coffee shop dates, and sneak out to meet up.” You peel your eyes open and look at him. He’s grinning at you. “We did it all.”

“Jungkook-”

“Can I tell you a secret?” he whispers and gazes deeply into your eyes, his features soft and glowing under the streetlight. He’s never been more beautiful. You can feel your heart in your ears, every beat. You think you know the secret.

You nod.

“I love you.”

And even though you already knew it, your lips pull up into the biggest grin, fireworks exploding in your stomach, heart swelling in your chest to the point of eruption.

“Can I tell you a secret?” you ask him, voice shaky with excitement, and lean impossibly closer, hands gripping his shirt because you need something to hold onto.

“Please,” Jungkook practically pleads, and you don’t hesitate a second to say it, letting the three words escape you that have been sitting inside you for ages now.

“I love you too.”

And then, you press your lips to Jungkook’s, going up on your toes to reach him, eyes fluttering shut, finally doing what you should have done a long time ago. He holds your middle, his nose bumping yours as he kisses you back, firmly. Even though this isn’t your first kiss, it does feel like it—sparks ricocheting through your entire body, time freezing to a stop, nothing mattering more than him right now. Jungkook is every star and every moon in this world. He is the summer and the autumn and the winter and the spring. He is everything. 

The kiss ends far too soon. You’re already yearning for his lips again, for him.

“You think your mother is gonna kill me if she finds out I kissed her daughter?” 

You smack his shoulder, or, well, you try because you’re breathless and can’t muster up much. It’s a hit, and barely qualifies as that. It’s an attempt. It’s enough to make him smile though.

“Jungkook,” you say, “I swear to God, if you mention my mother again after kissing me, you’re never going to kiss me-”

He cuts you off, pressing his lips to yours one more time, cradling your cheeks. You allow it, leaning into it and kissing him back, grip tightening around his shirt. It feels too right to stop. You already know, you won’t ever get enough of the kisses, won’t ever stop kissing Jungkook, for even a second.

And when you part this time, you rest your forehead to his, needing the support, and there’s no doubt in your mind, Jungkook will always be there to provide it. He’ll always be there to be your rock, your person to lean onto, you can count on.

“Oh,” he says, digging through his pocket, and you watch as he pulls out a set of keys. They shine under the streetlamp, bright and dazzling. He takes your hand and wraps your fingers around them, the jagged edges lightly digging into your skin.

“You forgot these at my place.”

Your eyes grow big, mouth dropping wide open.

“Jungkook-” you begin but don’t finish, sputtering. You shake your head, a smile on your lips. “You know these would have been useful two years ago, right? I had to walk to Sooyoung to get the spare key from her.”

He grins at you and wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Well, better late than never, right?”

You meet his gaze and smile. He doesn’t say it, but you know. “Right, better late than never.”

Jungkook and you are the last ones to arrive for breakfast, strolling up to the table together, enough space between you not to raise any suspicion, not wanting to reveal the news to your friends just yet. It’s best not to drop this first thing in the morning, you decided together. Luckily for you, there are exactly two empty seats next to each other. 

You’ve just come back from the buffet (waffles for you and pancakes for Jungkook) when Sooyoung looks at you.

“Did you go out last night?”

You freeze. “What?”

“I think I heard you sneaking out in the middle of the night,” she says, taking a sip from her coffee.

“Oh.”

You don’t know what else to say. It’s all you can muster up.

“Well,” you refrain from looking at Jungkook, “no, I, uh, didn’t.”

“Huh.” She blinks. “I could swear I heard the door opening at night-”

“Wait, Yoongs, didn’t you say you saw Y/N and Kook last night in the parking lot?” Hoseok brings up, and you stiffen in your seat, fingers curling around the armrests. Jungkook sucks in a sharp breath, his knee jerking uncontrollably. Everyone around the table quiets and looks at you two. Probably not the best idea to sit next to each other.

“Y/N?” Sooyoung says, her eyes as big as saucers. Namjoon chokes on his drink next to her.

Sana gasps, clamming her hand in front of her mouth. “Shut up, are you guys-”

“No, what? Don’t be ridiculous!” Jimin denies, shaking his head. “There’s no way-” He pauses when he sees the look on Jungkook’s and your face. “Wait…”

“Did you really see-?” Taehyung turns to Yoongi, sitting on the edge of his seat, and the older takes a sip from his orange juice, keeping everyone waiting, the suspense rising with every moment of silence.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Oh my god,” Yeji mumbles under her breath before turning to Jungkook and you, her mouth slowly splitting into a gigantic grin. “Are you guys-?”

You share a look. “Uh, I, well-”

“Didn’t you kiss too?” Hoseok blurts out, speaking without thinking. “That’s what you said, right, Yoongs?”

“You kissed?” Taehyung sputters before beginning to slow clap, and Namjoon’s quick to tell him to stop it.

“Kissed and slow danced,” Yoongi confirms, clearly believing Jungkook and you have been a thing for a while now, failing to realise that he’s revealing your relationship to everyone on your very first day as a couple. “Or was that not you?”

Jungkook and you share another look. Even though this isn’t the way you imagined telling your friends, you don’t mind. Because what difference does it make?

“No, that was us,” you say.

“You didn’t see wrong,” Jungkook confirms with a nod.

And at your confession, your friends gasp before erupting into hollers and cheers. None of them care that guests are shooting them dirty looks. They’re far too happy for Jungkook and you to care. You love them so much, as embarrassing as this is. The support is heartwarming.

“Congrats to you guys!” Namjoon grins, Sooyoung next to him is far too shocked to say anything.

“Yeah, fuck, I’m so happy for you two!” Yeji coos.

“A toast from the newly wed couple please!” Seokjin gestures at you to stand up, but neither of you make a single move.

“We’re not married!” you say, and Jungkook thanks Sana when she slaps Seokjin’s shoulder.

And since the two of you aren’t really toast-making people, Jungkook saves you by lifting his glass of water into the air like it’s an expensive flute of champagne. 

“Cheers!”

You’re first to raise your glass too, clinking it with his. Your friends are quick to follow suit. 

Jungkook looks over to you.

To us.

You grin.

Sooyoung gives you a tight hug, whispering into your ear just how happy she is for you and that she’ll pack and switch rooms. You thank her; for everything, you say, truly everything. She shakes her head.

And when Jungkook and you look at each other again, you know you’ll always get half of his breakfast and he’ll always get half of your breakfast, and he’ll always hold your hand at every rest stop and gas station and every time you need it, and you’ll always buy him a neck pillow when his neck acts up again and hold a water bottle to his lips when he’s thirsty and driving. You know you’ll never have to fight over who sleeps on the couch anymore, but you’ll always have to fight over who gets to pay.

You smile, and it widens when Jungkook transfers half of his pancakes onto your plate. You do the same.

“Good morning,” Jungkook smiles when he sees you stir and peel your eyes open, putting his phone aside to lie back down with you, pulling the covers over the two of you. Your eyelids are still heavy with sleep. Keeping them open is hard.

“Morning.”

Your mood doesn’t drop until you think of today’s agenda and remember, you’re driving back. You groan. 

“I don’t wanna go,” you say, a pout growing on your lips, and Jungkook smiles, pulling you closer to him.

“Neither do I,” he tells you. “But we have to.”

You sigh. “I can’t believe it. How has it been a week?”

“Well, time flies when you’re having fun.”

You bury your face into his neck and pull the covers tighter around you, your body pressed up against his.

“And when it’s summer.”

Jungkook grins. “Yeah, and when it’s summer.”

“And when I’m with you,” you mumble and look at him with a smile. Jungkook cups your cheek and presses his lips to yours. And even though the kiss lasts mere seconds, you feel the same sparks ricochet through your body like when you first kissed him. He’s still every star and moon in this world, still summer, autumn, winter, and spring. He’s still everything. And you know, that will never change.

“And when I’m with you too.”

→ links don’t work, but i’d love to hear your thoughts/feedback! thanks for reading !!

[buckybraneslover111]

Not today - Frank

summary: you and Frank have a very toxic relationship. He doesn't treat you the way he used to when you both started dating. You got invited to your friends wedding and of course you have to bring Frank. He starts to drink which gets you very nervous because you don’t know how he is going to react. When he sees you flirting with another man, his possessiveness and jealousy comes out.

warnings: jealous!Frank, toxic relationship, drinking, drunk!Frank, slight abuse (Frank grabs reader, shoves reader into car.) sad!reader, crying, yelling, fighting

a/n: came up with this while watching jersey shore...dont judge me lol it was a good idea in my head please. the character Frank is based off that movie Endings, Beginnings with Sebastian being Frank. 

You were getting ready for your friend Ciara’s wedding that she invited you too. You were excited, you hadn't seen her in a while and seeing her and your friends again would be fun. Or so you thought. You and Frank had been together for about two years now and it was...different. At first, you were all lovey dovey, he would bring you flowers, take you out on dates, it was perfect. Then it went all down hill as the months went on, arguments, yelling, fighting, drinking. You wanted a way out, to leave him but you��couldn't; you loved him. You finished getting ready and walked out of your shared bedroom, “Frank! Did you start the car?” you grabbed your favorite earrings, the ones his got you a few months ago, after your threatened to leave him.

“Yes baby, come on before we are late!” he yelled from the bottom of the stairs. You grabbed your purse and walked out of the room and down the stairs putting on your other earring. Frank looked up at you and smiled, “Wow, you look beautiful.” he smiled at you wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you into his body. He wore a black suit and tie. 

“Come on, I dont want to be late.” you pulled away from him and walked out of the car getting into the passenger seat. The car drive there was very quiet, you both not saying anything. He pulled up to the respection area and parked his car in the parking lot. 

He turned to you and grabbed your chin making you face him before you left the car, “Dont make a fool out of me tonight. You will introduce me as your boyfriend to your friends in there. Not like last time where you said I was your fucking roommate. Do you understand? I’m your boyfriend.” You whimpered at his grip on your chin as you nodded. “Words y/n.”

“Yes Frank.” he let go of your chin and got out of the car. You sighed and stepped out shutting the door behind you. Frank walked over to you and you wrapped your arm around his, walking with him inside the place with the other guests. You walked up to the table where it told you where you were sitting and you found your name picking it up and reading the number, “We are at table 6.” You and Frank walked to find the table, once you did, you sat down in a chair next to him. The beginning of the night was going well, you said hi to old friend, introducing them to Frank and dancing with him for a few songs. It was going well, until Frank started to drink and when he drinks, he gets very jealous and possessive over you if anyone he caught talking to you. 

He looked at you, “I’m getting around drink.” 

“Dont you think you had enough already Frank?” you sighed, not wanting to cause a scene, but you were getting upset with him drinking.

“What are you my mom now?” he scoffed and got up from his chair and walked to the bar. You rubbed the side of your face and sighed watching him at the bar, making sure he was okay and didnt cause a fight. You felt a light tap on your shoulder and you turned to see your friend Steve. 

You smiled up at him as he took Frank’s seat on the side of you, “Hey Steve, long time no see.” you leaned over and hugged him as he hugged you back.

“I know, its been a minute.” You and Steve got to chatting when all of a sudden you felt someone grab your arm and pull you out of the chair. 

You looked at Frank as his eyes were blown out and his face red, “Frank, let go of me.” you said softly, pulling at your arm.

“Didnt I tell you to not make a fool of me?” he growled at you.

“Hey buddy why dont you let her go?” Steve said as he stood up.

Frank looked at him and then back at you, “So you're cheating on me with this guy?!” 

“N-No! No Frank I wouldn’t do that. Please dont do this, not today please Frank.” you tried to make a little to no scene at your friends wedding, not wanting to ruin it for her. “Frank, lets just go home.” you stood in front of him, putting your hands on his chest, “Let’s just go home please.” you tried not to cry, he already ruined the night for you, you didnt want him ruining it for everyone else.

Frank bit the back of his fist as he looked at Steve, then pointed at him, “You are so fucking lucky I dont rip your head off.” Frank pulled you out of the place, still having the grip on your arm. You tried to follow him, but his long strides were too fast for you causing your to stumble a bit. Frank shoves you into the car door, letting go of your arm. He paced back and forth in front of you, “I can't believe you made me look like a fucking idiot in there y/n!!” he yelled as he stood in front of you. You turned your head to the side, avoiding his eyes.

“Frank-” you whimpered as he cut you off.

“Dont fucking ‘Frank’ me y/n! You were all over that guy, embarrassing me in front of your friends! Your fucking friends y/n!!” he was getting angrier by the minute. You started to cry, feeling very ashamed and embarrassed. “Oh god! Here we go!” he walked away from you throwing his hands in the air, dramaticly. He turned back to you, “Oh give me a fucking break y/n! Stop with the fucking crying bullshit!” 

“Shut up!!” you yelled back at him through tears, “You are such an asshole Frank! God I wish I never met you! I wish I never fell in love with you!! I hate you!” you cried loudly holding yourself. Frank just stared at you, shocked, sobering himself up.

“W-What did you just say?” he said softly.

“I-I just wanna go home, please Frank...” you said through sobs.

“I-okay, okay baby we can go home.” He helped you into the car, and got in himself. The car drive home was quiet, except for your constant whimpers and soft cries. Frank felt bad, he really did, but it was a constant cycle for you both. He would yell at you, you would cry, he would apologize and get you flowers then you both would just start over. This time he wanted it to be different. I wish I never fell in love with you, I hate you, rang through his ears over and over. He couldn't take the pain of knowing that he really hurt you this time, this time was different. Once you got home, you got out of the car and quickly walked into the house. You took off your heels and walked upstairs to your shared bedroom and threw your shoes in a corner. You heard the front door shut and you got out of your dress tossing it to the side. You changed into your pjs and got into bed, curling up into a ball, softly crying to yourself, trying to forget what just happened tonight. After a few minutes, you felt the bed behind you dip and an arm wrap around your waist. You sniffled and pulled yourself away from him. “Baby...” he sighed.

“Please just leave me alone.” you whispered.

“Baby I wanna talk.” he reached for you again, but you pulled away.

“I dont want to talk to you.”

“Baby-” You got up from the bed grabbing a pillow and one of the blankets. He sat up in bed looking at you, “Baby please.” 

“I’m sleeping on the couch, dont fucking follow me.” you walked downstairs to the living room and laid down on the couch curling up under the blanket closing your eyes sighing. 

...

a/n: should I do a part two?

tags: @airedale17 @madehellline @cjand10 @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @evanstanwhore

[iwadori]

When they leave you on your wedding day (Sakusa, Bokuto)

Genre: angst

Word count: 1.7K

masterlist

Sakusa’s will make more sense if you read this you don’t have too but it’ll help.

Sakusa:

“Y/N,” you hear knocks on the door outside your dressing room “I-I need to talk to you.”    

“But Omi, a groom must never see their bride until they meet at the alter,” you say behind the door.

“I-It’s important, and I must tell you right now.” he says a bit more intensely

“Okay, Okay... you can come in but im hiding in the closet since my dress is already on.”

“Ok.”

You hear the door open and shut, and a lot of pacing around of what you can presume was his fresh wedding shoes trotting against the hard wood floors.

“Omi,” you call wondering why he hasn’t spoken yet “Is everything okay?”

“Umm yes I-it's fine...it just I-” he says pausing

“Just what?”

“I don’t really know how to say this Y/N, I don’t really know how to say it’s just-” he says again pausing himself taking a deep breath.

“Just what Omi? Don’t tell me you’ve got cold feet love,” you say laughing at the thought of it, but your laughter ceased when you don’t hear the ‘Of course I don’t have cold feet Y/N’ that you were expecting.

“Omi?” you asked again, hoping he had he was still going to give you the response you wanted.

“Omi..” you repeated.

“Omi!” you say finally, now exiting the room (with your wedding dress on) to see why your fiance was not responding.  

To your shock, Omi was sitting down on a couch with his face in his hands with soft sobs coming from his mouth and runny tears and snot coming from his eyes and nose. “Omi whats wrong?” you say loudly, alerting him,

“Y/N you look beautiful!” he says sniffling.

“Omi you were meant to say that at the alter, but now that your crying forget about the dress... what’s wrong?” you say sitting down next to him.

“I don’t know how to say this...” he starts, looking away from you  

“Say what? Omi look at me...” you say feeling anxious  

“We...We can’t get married today,” he says still with his eyes off you.

“What do you mean, we can’t get married.” you ask but you get no answer,

“Omi answer me,”

“Say something please!” you say turning his body so that he’s facing you, his eyes are all puffy and bloodshot from the crying and now tears are filling yours “What do you mean Omi,”

“Remember Ex’s name?” he says confusing you cause what did she have to do with anything.

“Yes I remember her, I remember vividly being the girl you cheated on her with after you claimed you were ‘breaking up with her’ so I had to tell her.” you scoff “so yes, I definitely remember Y/N, what about her?”

“We recently umm how can I say this,” he says struggling for words “reconnected... and I do truly miss her and she’s made me rethink some things, see some things...”

“And those things are?”

“I’ve always loved her, she’s always been my one. The one.” he says smiling a bit at the thought of her making you feel sick.

“But Omi what about us? What about the wedding that’s going to happen in less than an hour?”

“Im sorry Y/N I’ll tell everyone what has happened.”

“I don’t want you to do that, I want you to marry me.” you say desparetly “please Omi, why her? Why now..”

“It’s always been her, and you’ve known that.” he says standing up “The day you told her about our ONE NIGHT stand, was the day that I thought I couldn’t live on, but when you came and accepted the pathetic mess I was, I gladly dated you since I had nothing else to loose...but its been 4 years since then I'm a changed man and EX NAME is a changed girl, a forgiving girl and the spark we had wasn’t lost I guess...and Im happy now”

“But what about me?” you say crying “What about me? And my happiness, don’t I deserve that? Don’t I deserve to finally be happy.”  

“Y/N, you do deserve to be happy. But not with me, not at the stake of my own happiness, I wont allow it.”

“Omi bu-”

“God Y/N, don’t be so desperate!” he said agressively “Im sorry for stopping the wedding, I know your parents have put in alot of money in it and I will certainly pay them back... in due time of course.”

“You’re sorry for stopping the wedding?” you say angrily “Not sorry for stopping this relationship. Stopping the longlasting feelings ive felt for you since the day I met you?”

“Cut the crap Y/N, all we did was have one night stand.” he says rolling his eyes and unbuttoning his top botton of his shirt and loosening his tie I dont know why but this Is what guys do when theyre mad in the movies.

“Your such a liar Omi, you used to come into my work place everyday flirting with me talking about how much you wanted me, PINING AFTER ME, making me fall in love with you and not even telling me you had a girlfriend at the time.” you yell “and you summarise that all to me falling in love with you after one measly one night stand.”

“I don’t want to do this Y/N,” he says heading to the door “We’re finished. No more wedding. No marriage. And definitely don’t contact me after this. We’re through.” he slams the door behind him, leaving you alone and jilted in your wedding dress.

You get why he broke it off with you, and technically you do play a small part to blame. You were the one that told his girlfriend that you slept with him and then dated him afterwards, so I guess ‘how you get them, is how you lose them’ definitely works in this case.

Bokuto

The bokuto and L/N wedding was going to be a joyous occasion. Your soon to be husband told everybody he saw that he were to be wed with you, he couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Bokuto calm down, we’ll be married soon.” was what you always said, whenever he started his rambles to which he always replied “I know Y/N, I cant wait.”

When it came to your grand day, you were excited from the moment you woke up you were buzzing, wondering if Bokuto was feeling even a half of the feelings that you felt.  

You looked beautiful in your dress, anticipating the look on Bokuto’s face when he sees you at that alter. Your wedding party was already at the hotel you were getting married at whilst Bokuto’s got ready at the houe and decided to drive there.

So after you got ready, all you had to do is wait for Kuroo, one of Bokuto’s best men, to tell you when it’s time for you to walk down the aisle.  

You were impatient, your leg was shaking now you knew how Bokuto felt when he rambled on how excited he was for you to become Bokuto Y/N. You finally heard a knock on the door and you dashed to open it,

“Kuroo, thank god you’re here!” you exclaim giving him a hug “I’ve been waiting ages for you, lets go! Take me to my future husband.” You pull his arm practically trying to run and see your man before Kuroo pulls your arm halting you.

“Y/N...” he says shifting his eye sight from left to right “I think we should sit down for a minute.”

“Why? Is he not here yet, gosh he’s always been late to things” you joke “but fine we can sit for a minute or two.”

As you sat, Kuroo turns his body to you putting his hands on your knees with his eyes looking sad “Y/N. I don’t know how to say this but...” he gulps putting his head down “there’s been an accident.”

“Accident? What do you mean accident? What happened? Is everyone okay.” you ask a bit frantically, since it would sad for someone to be hurt on your wedding day.

“That’s the thing Y/N, Bokuto he..”  

“Bokuto what? He’s okay.. Right?” you ask staring at Kuroo “He’s fine right?”

“No he isnt,” he says

“What do you mean he isn’t what happened, where is he? I need to see him.” you say getting up before Kuroo pulls you back down.

“He isn’t anywhere... well anywhere for you to see him. There weren’t enough cars for us, well there were but one of them the engine wasn’t starting and it sound a bit dodgy. But Bokuto said, he insisted for us all to be there. I even offered to let him take my spot in the other cars, I did Y/N I really did, but he promised us that he’d be fine. He left a bit before he did, saying that if he had chance to wander around the hotel it may calm his nerves. But when we were driving, we saw this car all mangled up on the side of the road, it was his. I told him not to drive that car, I told him and he did and I-” he rambled with tears pooling in his eyes “Im sorry Y/N im really sorry.”

“But why why didn’t you call?”

“He told us not too, he said that he wanted you be to as happy as you could be on this day as he knew it wouldn’t end with you becoming his wife.”

“But the ambulance, you called an ambulance right?”

“He was D.O.A, Akaashi went with him since he knew that he probably wouldn’t be able to deliver the news to you.”

“Why? Why did he leave me? On our wedding day, it was supposed to be our day and now hes gone Kuroo hes gone.” you wail, but kuroo wraps his arms around you in a brotherly hug as he cries too.  

That’s how you spend your wedding night, crying in your friends arms over the loss of your ‘husband’ and his ‘brother.’

Bokuto’s funeral was the week after, and it was not an event you were excited for. It was a hard day to get through, but you did it with the help of Kuroo and Akaashi. You visit Bokuto every year on your wedding anniversary talking to your husband even though it always reminds you of the day that never came to be.

This is the wedding angst that is a gift from me to you sweetheart @teesumu you can totally block me after this cause girll I cried whilst writing it.

If you want a nice ending to the bokuto story to make you feel better read this

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