#s4 is always pissing me off

[shanastoryteller]

i said i wasn't going to do it. i didn't mean to do it

oops?

back summary: Sam gets Dean's voicemail.

[islandfate]

woooo boy. so – i'm doing a little lost season one character recap just to kind of find my footing and determine how i feel about these characters on this latest rewatch. which, also, i think this is my 12th rewatch? that's crazy. anyway, i'm going to go through the list of the characters and kind of talk about how i feel, how my views have differed from my previous watch, etc. warning for opinions 😔 but these will be in no particular order! this will also be under a cut bc it's gonna get long lol !!

jack – the only thing i really want to do right here is rant about how much i dislike this character, how he puts a bad taste in my mouth, how he can be a truly terrible doctor and how his stubbornness and judgement lead to awful, terrible decisions. but i'm not going to completely bash this character, no matter how much i'd like to. despite this, there's no easy way to say it, but i just don't like jack. i think he can be a good guy, and i think there are aspects to him that make him an interesting character, but in season one – for me – his flaws completely outweigh his positives. there is just something about him that makes me so frustrated. i genuinely think it's his attitude, that is, his constant belief that his way is the right way. and i'm always here for a frustrating character, i enjoy someone with flaws, but jack's simply ... fall flat, for me. maybe it's because he's meant to be our main character, and he just has zero charisma in my eyes. i think there are so many other characters that draw me in. jack is just there. and usually he's doing something to piss me off, but not in the fun way, in the “i really fucking hate you” way. and i truly do not like that he refuses to help people sometimes ( sawyer ), or that he brushes them off for being annoying ( sullivan ), or brushes them off because he thinks he's always right ( such as with claire's nightmares ). it puts a bad taste in my mouth fr !!! even him punishing kate for not telling him what she did, when he's the one who told her that he didn't care? make up your fucking mind buddy.

but of course, jack can be a compassionate person. and he does feel guilt for the things he does – like with claire's kidnapping – and i'm glad for that. maybe too much guilt sometimes, but i'm not gonna fault him for that because i always love seeing that in a character. him watching sayid torture sawyer and realizing that this is a bad thing we're doing here – i liked that. it was a bad call. and i truly adore the flashback where he turns his father in for drinking, because i cannot even imagine how difficult that would be, and the betrayal on christian's face ( and the pain on jack's ) is honestly hard to watch. and when sawyer tells jack about meeting christian, and how proud he was of jack, i do find myself tearing up every time lol. it just really kills me. anyway, i'm hoping to god that i like him more in season two because jack isn't a character i want to feel this frustrated with. i don't want to dislike him! i never want to look at a character and say “i hate them please get them off my screen” but that's usually how i feel about jack. and i don't know if it's the writing, or the acting, or jack himself – there's just something about his character i don't like. either way, i'm hoping for better things from him in season two.

kate – oh kate ... perhaps my second least favorite character in this show, right behind jack. i want to like her so badly but there's also something about her that frustrates the hell out of me. i think her infatuation with jack – for no reason, might i add – is annoying. and i hate their chemistry, because there is none. seriously, kate works better with sawyer, works better with sun, than with jack. though i will admit, i really like the plot twist of kate being the prisoner, and i do think it's interesting how much compassion she has for people, even the u.s. marshal, but something about her also unfortunately falls flat for me. she's just not all that intriguing in my eyes, and i really wish she was. i do like she and sayid's friendship, i think it's cute, and i think kate is far more interesting in sawyer's scenes. but i think i'd like her even more if she wasn't soooo heavily paired with a man, always. not even romantically, but i just mean, she's always in scenes with a guy! she always wants a dude's help! like, give her something to do on her own. but, truly, i have nothing more to say about kate, and i may never have more to say on her lol. i don't remember being super impressed with her in season two, but it's been a bit since i watched all of that season, so we'll see!

michael – truly, i do not have any words for why michael would be my favorite character in this season. he's frustrating, quick to blame, doesn't always make the best decisions when it comes to walt ... but that is what makes him so damn intriguing to me. i think it's his relationship with walt that really kills me. it's like, he's this character who wanted to be a father so badly but was never really able to be one. he fought tooth and nail to be able to be walt's dad and it just didn't matter. and then susan dies, brian comes by, and michael's reunited with walt. and he has to figure out how to raise his kid ( who isn't really his kid anymore ) and honor susan and brian at the same time. it's such an insanely devastating situation that i can hardly stand it. people misconstrue michael's intensions so much – like when they say he hates being a father. but i don't think that's true. he just doesn't know how to be one. he was never given the chance to! michael definitely has a bit of a hair-trigger temper, but i genuinely do think it's because of walt – most of the time. and also, michael and jin's friendship after everything that happened between them?? i love it so much. anyway, michael stays being one of my favorite characters in this season, and there's not a scene with him that goes by i don't enjoy. his centric episode nearly destroyed me this watch and i don't think i'm ready for the next one, which i know is coming soon. overall, i just really enjoy how michael has such this surface level look about him, then you look deeper and see who he truly is, what his motivations are, his regrets. he's just a really great character in my eyes. also, i'm not going to talk about walt on his own, just know i adore walt and i wrote a fic about him! so, he's def a fav of mine.

locke – i'm gonna be honest! locke has always been a favorite of mine, i absolutely love his flashbacks and i think he's so much fun to watch on screen. terry o'quinn really carries here, and i'm excited because i know just how great future locke scenes are. but, how do i feel about him in season one? well, i found myself ... being a little more on the bitter side with him! i think i formed an attachment to boone and to witness what leads to his death really hurts. and when locke brings him back and lies about what happened, causing jack to misdiagnose the problem – well, it really sucks to see. and i know boone was supposed to die, but that doesn't change the fact that if i was on that island, i'd be pissed at locke for this. aside from that, i really like his belief in the island and those intertwining themes of fate and destiny ... he just brings something that the show really needs. i will never get over this man having been in a wheelchair and walkabout still makes me cry to this day. and being conned out of a kidney? phewwww that's a tough one for me to watch. i love the scene where locke bangs on the hatch and the light beams up – it's so great. but, boone's death really hurt my opinion of locke in season one, but i'm sure this'll improve with time ( until season 4 🙄 ). anyway, the ending of this season really teases the jack and locke dynamic – man of science and man of faith ... they're so fun to watch and i can't wait to see them interact more in s2. but locke in season one is great, up until the moment he isn't. but he grew on me in the finale. his acting is so good i can't not like him, lol.

sayid – well, i suppose i might as well get it over with. so, i've never been much of a sayid stan ... i try, let me tell you, but the feeling just never comes. my opinion of him has been pretty consistent throughout my time watching this show, but i think he's mostly good in season one. and i'm not saying he's a bad character or anything, i simply find his flashbacks to be boring and i have no attachment to nadia as a whole. and i think that him torturing sawyer was awful! but obviously i'm not really here to judge characters based on how terrible of people they are ( look at my fav ... ), obviously these characters have flaws and are not always great people. my “meh” feeling toward him more so has to do with the fact that he falls a little flat, too. at least for me, he does. and i know people love him! i've just never felt much of a connection to him, and i'm not sure i ever will. let's just say, i don't watch this show for him.

charlie – charlie is definitely one of the highlights of this season. drug addict characters always, always draw me in, and i think his personality is just so great. he's definitely on the funnier side, but then we get to his backstory and you see just how fucked up things got for him! i love that he goes to the cockpit only to find his drugs – and i love seeing his notion that he's a coward, that really gets swept away come episode seven. i know, i know. people don't like the moth metaphor. but i've always had a soft spot for it, and i think the combination of acting and writing really brings that scene to life. i adore charlie and claire's relationship and they're just ): so cute. so when they get kidnapped ?!? god damn that angst is so juicy. but anyway, i've always been a fan of charlie's character and that hasn't changed one bit. i can't really remember how prevalent he is in s2 ( aside from fire + water ) but i very much look forward to seeing more of him and what he gets up to. i feel like i have less to say here bc ... idk! he's just a silly guy! i like him a lot, always have, and i don't see that ever changing.

claire – you know, i've never had much of an opinion on claire. she's always kind of just ... been there for me. however, i think because elsie likes her so much, it's really improved my view of her. claire is just so sweet and i can't imagine the terror of being pregnant on a fucking deserted island. she handles it much better than i would've, lol. but her pain and fear is definitely hard to see, and made even more difficult because of jack not believing her 🙄 which, of course. but i really like the ethan plotline and i like the little seeds they plant for s2 – such as showing that small flashback between rousseau and claire in the finale. we still don't know what happened to her! i will admit, i don't have a whole lot more to say here, but i think she's a fun character and i like the stuff they play with concerning the psychic. that's really all!

sawyer – sawyer!!! this man has always been one of my favorite characters and he's forever managed to crack me up... i just think he's hilarious, definitely one of the funniest characters on the show. even in the pilot, when kate asks where the polar bear came from and he says, "probably bear village, how the hell do i know?" i laugh every time. ANYWAY! i definitely thought sawyer was going to be more of an acquired taste this season, which, he is, but he really shines pretty early on. i expected to hate confidence man more, because i've never really liked that episode when watching alone, but it turns out i ... really enjoyed it this time around? i thought it was the perfect blend of realistic and horrific and it was a great way to stir up tension, especially between sawyer and sayid. everyone always assumes the worst of sawyer and they truly don't even bother asking him – they just blame him, which makes him mad ( as it would anyone ), and then he acts like an asshole in turn. he's backed into a corner and it's kind of fascinating to watch and see what he does, how he reacts, etc. and maybe i'm crazy, but i don't see having your own supplies as a ... necessarily bad thing? so many characters accuse him of looting from the dead, but it's not like he's the only one that's done that. and we're shown that in truly life threatening situations ( such as boone ) he's quick to help. i also love his relationship with michael and, by extension, jin, and him being a part of the raft is just so fun. truly, i think sawyer is just so interesting, and i'm very excited to see more of him in season two.

boone – ohhhhh boone. this man is someone i've always had a love / hate relationship with, but at the end of the day, he won my heart over. he's always been someone that wants to help sooo badly ( such as trying to give rose cpr ) and even if that doesn't exactly pan out, he still cares to try. his relationship with shannon is .... odd, to say the least, but i do enjoy most of their interactions. i think boone definitely projects his feelings on to shannon, like calling her useless and worthless, which is probably why he tries to help out as much as he does. and when he and locke find the hatch, this kind of gives him a new purpose, and so does locke. so it's devastating to see boone be convinced to follow locke out to this plane, and you can see that the only thing he wants to do is help. it just!! pains something deep inside of me. even when he's in the plane, it falls because he's trying to get everyone rescued – and i think that's how he deserves to be remembered. i do think his death hits so hard, and while the episode definitely prepares you for it, it's not easy to watch it play out. i love the scene where locke sees boone in his dream, when he's talking about his babysitter, and you see the flashes of him covered in blood. it's really trippy and foreboding and just ... so well done! i love the idea that boone's death majorly effects everything and everyone, not only in this season but in the seasons that follow, and it's nice that the show never forgets about him. i just really like his character and, though i'm sad to see him go, i know it's necessary.

shannon – surprisingly? shannon was one of the most enjoyable characters on this rewatch for me. i never thought much of her before, felt like she was a little annoying, but i genuinely liked her this season and i thought she was hilarious. i'm a little disappointed we didn't get a shannon flashback, but i know we will in season two, so i look forward to that. her grief for boone really fucking pains me and when walt gives vincent to her ... man. that scene hurts. i don't love she and sayid's relationship, to be completely honest, but i really like the scene where she tells him off for getting frustrated with her about the map. i still have mixed feelings about her going after locke after boone's death, but maybe it'll make more sense to me on another rewatch lol. anyway! not too much to say about her, except i enjoyed her presence ( a lot ) and that was a little surprising for me.

sun & jin – i'm combining these two into one, not only because i think they're important to talk about together, but also because i'm feeling a little lazy. anywho, i think it's really fun how the show makes jin out to be a pretty awful guy, but once you see his backstory – see his motivations, his fears – it starts to make a lot of sense. it's funny because jin is definitely one of my favorite characters, but it's pretty hard to like him at first. so i really enjoy his development in the first season, and his friendship with michael is really sweet. as for sun, i do like her! she's another character that's always just been kind of there, but i enjoyed her a lot more on this rewatch. her goodbye to jin before the raft leaves absolutely gutted me. the acting there was phenomenal. and i think it's really special we got these two characters because yunjin kim was so impressive when they were casting. it's upsetting to see these two characters who don't speak english, who are pretty much completely isolated because of this language barrier, but then sun speaks english?! the little twist there is just so great. her weird relationship with michael also isn't my favorite thing. i just really love sun and jin's relationship and how much it develops – they're probably my favorite couple on this show, tbh. and i know kate was behind a lot of the poisoning jin thing, but when jack tells sun he knows it was her, and she says, "are you going to tell the others?" that just BROKE me!! the fear and pain in her voice. ugh. she just wanted to keep him safe and off the raft. also, jin's dad is so sweet and i really love that scene between them in the flashback. and when sun is about to leave jin at the airport and he shows her the flower – god, that makes me cry every time. like full on sobbing. it's so good and their acting and chemistry is just amazing. anyway, i don't have too much more to say on them, but i adore sun and jin so much!!! definitely one of the highlights of this season.

hurley – i feel like it's a little hard for me to say much on hurley, mostly because we don't get toooo much development with him this season. like, we get one flashback but that's really it! so i'm excited to see more of him in season two for sure. but anyway, he's one of the funniest characters on this show and i love his interactions with literally everyone. and there is not one scene with him that i don't like. the numbers are probably my favorite part of this show, and i love his flashback about the curse and winning the lottery and all that. it's just great. and for rousseau to be the one person who tells him that maybe there is a curse? and that she doesn't dismiss what he's saying? it's so euphoric for him, and i love seeing it every time. hurley's friendship with charlie is also great – i just love those two. his flashbacks, alongside locke's, have always been my favorites and i just ... wanna see more of his character and past! he's just such a memorable character, and one of the first i think of when i reminisce about this show.

honorable mentions :

ethan – scary as fuck. this guy has always creeped me out, and the fact that he's tom cruise's cousin will never not be hilarious to me. he definitely scared the shit out of me as a kid and even still gives me the creeps. it's hilarious that the characters, especially charlie, start referring to him as a "what" rather than a "who." i love it. death was deserved, this man wouldn't have said shit.

sullivan – we were just calling him john lennon because we didn't know his name. his rash was a little concerning and jack brushing him off was annoying to me. and when he comes to the golf course and says "can i play?" i just love that scene. where did sullivan go ... 😔

scott & steve – i don't really know the difference between them, but rip scott. he deserved better.

arzt – probably one of my favorite side characters. he's so funny to me, and when he gets blown up i just ... bust out laughing every time. cannot wait to see this idiot again in s3 and s6.

[taemin-eternal]

whatver you call this trope of like “nice guy who is too much of a fucking loser to ask out the girl he likes (aka OBSESSED WITH) for the longest and then he finally does and he immediately acts like a fucking weirdo” i fucking hate it they give me the ick

[notmoreflippingelves]

So I know, I know, we all hate it when people add comments and especially lengthy ones to posts that are no openly encouraging them. Nevertheless, I'm gonna do so in this particular case because the novel that I was writing in the tags just got too too long and I was frighteningly close to the tag limit.

The things that would fix Esteban Flores are (in roughly this order)

A found family (preferably one totally divorced from connections to his bio family) and/or a small child to take care of.

A heartfelt apology from his biological family (definitely Luisa, probably Elena, and maybe Francisco as well).

A hug x1000

Being shaken

Enough sleep

But most especially the first two.

Esteban's issues stem from being made to feel like an afterthought and/or an obligation to his family of origin. In his mind, he was not chosen or wanted. He was liked, loved even--but he was loved because he was familia--not because he was Esteban. He was not enough in and of himself, especially not when compared to Elena.

Do you know why he continued to tend the cacao trees during the Dark Times? Yes, it was out of love for his family, but I think there's a bit more to it than that. His abuela shared something private and meaningful (i.e. how to take care of the cacao trees) with him that she didn't also share with Elena. He was welcomed into Luisa's world--if only for a moment. This was his, the rare thing that he didn't have to sacrifice to or share with Elena. No one could take this away from him--the moment of feeling seen and chosen. Not even the fact that this moment was very very much an anomaly and the rest of his youth (and his adulthood) consisted of him being shoved into the corner of some family portraits and left out of others entirely---and no one noticing this for years.

In "Something I Would Never Do," Esteban outright states "Years ago/ I did not know/Just how much they cared for me." He's just now realizing after 40+ years that his family just might love him (50+ years if you go back to when Esteban moved into palace); he's genuinely surprised about it and terrified that he's going to fuck it all up. Yes, Esteban has atrocious self-esteem, but these impressions did not come from nothing. Even now, his family keeps him largely at arm's length. He doesn't appear (or isn't even mentioned) in the two family vacation episodes, suggesting he was left behind. His Navidad plans (the ones he has been dreaming of , all alone for 41 years!) are rejected outright by Luisa, and no one even bothers to ask what the Dark Times were like or how he is coping. Everything has changed and yet nothing has changed. He's there, sometimes he is shown attention and affection, but he's still made to feel that he's not really a part of the family in the same way the others were.

All this is pretty bad in and of itself, but it's made worse by the fact that he's not getting his emotional needs fulfilled from outside the family any more than he is within it. As far as we can tell, Esteban's only real friends as a child were Elena and Victor. (Maybe Felicia as well, but she was far more Elena's friend than his). And neither Victor nor Elena could give Esteban what he needed: the feeling of being liked and chosen for himself and that alone.

Elena is family--the same family has made Esteban feel like an afterthought and obligation, merely liked at best and tolerated at worst. But that's oversimplifying things. Elena is also the impossible gold standard that Esteban will always be measuring himself against. (And it's especially galling that she was 1-2 years younger than him, and he was still nowhere near her level). She's the favorite (and Luisa is not subtle about hiding that fact), the priority, the important one. She's the one who has always been and will always be secure in power and confidence and their familia's love--the exact opposite of Esteban.

Victor, meanwhile, was a horrible influence on Esteban, and not just where Shuriki was concerned. His selfishness rubbed off on his amigo, and his competitiveness and callousness brought out every one of Esteban's insecurities and worst tendencies. It's also very strongly implied that their friendship (at least on Victor's side) was rooted in how 'useful' Esteban was. Through El Segundo, Victor got closer to power/the crown and also found someone that he could feel "superior" to. Someone that Victor could consistently beat at races, so that he could feel like a winner. Someone who wouldn't tell Victor to go to hell if he subjected unflattering nicknames upon.

So yeah, Esteban's childhood primary source of affection/attention outside his family were two people who exacerbated Esteban's already huge inferiority complex. One of whom was part of said family that enabled said inferiority complex in the first place, and the other of whom is wrapped up in the event that caused Esteban to lose his family as well.

And then, Elena was trapped in the amulet and Victor was banished from Avalor, and Esteban was without anyone at all for 41 years. His primary source of attention and affection during this time was the woman who conquered his kingdom and took away his family. Someone who had preyed upon his vulnerabilities from the very start and who kept him alive only so long as he remains obedient and "useful" to her. There's nothing even remotely close to equal or mutual about this dynamic, and Shuriki did even more damage on Esteban's already battered psyche than all of the others combined and multiplied by ten.

Even after Shuriki is gone, Esteban still doesn't have anyone in his life that voluntarily chose to be in his life. His entire social circle is comprised of people that he knows through his family and/or his role as chancellor (and later his magical abilities). There's Naomi, except there isn't, because their dynamic is rooted exclusively in their shared devotion to Elena and their roles on the Grand Council (which is also directly tied to Elena).

Similarly, Doña Paloma interacts with Esteban almost exclusively in reference to his role as Chancellor. Would she give him the time of day if he had no political power or influence?. Doubtful, especially as she seems to really dislike him most of the time. There's a bit more potential for a genuine friendship to develop with Julio or Professor Mendoza, but again, these connections were formed through Esteban's job and we don't really see any interactions that aren't in service to that.

Higgins is explicitly Esteban's employee and given how insensitive he can be to Esteban, it seems unlikely that he has any real non-professional loyalty or affection to him. Same with Armando, except things do seem to a bit more cordial between them.

Esteban seems to have a good rapport with Avalor's allies, especially Toshi and Shoji, but these are unlikely to be anything more than friendly diplomatic connections and ones separated by distance.

So yeah, my boy literally does not interact with a single character on the show without at least one of them doing so out of obligation/duty/job requirement and/or ulterior motive. Fifty years later and almost nothing has changed, Esteban still has nothing and no one to call his own.

[inutaffy]

bro i feel bad for veronica & jughead getting caught up in the fucking hell that is betty & archie having a Thing whenever they go through a tragedy together. like if u guys like each other sooooooooo much just get together and stoppppppp putting your gf and bf through that oughhh they make me sickkkkk (deragatory) the love square shit is getting insane like stop can we have a friend group where they all havent fucking got with each other Oh Em Gee. its fine if its gay tho. heterosexually is just BLEH. anyway for the love square 2 be true archie & jughead have to have a thing i think its time kiDding lol hahahahaha 😅😅😅😅😅😅

[catoslvt]

Ben Hargreeves x Reader

I would've married you if you'd stuck around🐙

sorta s4 spoilers? but nobody takes the Marigold and lived their life.

plus I'm changing things because... yeah.

I walk into the birthday party for little Grace, who is one of Diego and Lila's children with her birthday present in my hand. It's just a silly child's keyboard because what the fuck do you get a six year old?

I make my way through the swarm of running and screaming children, the part of me that never grew up hurting because that's the childhood I always wished to have, yknow, running about, screaming my head off with all my friends but no, at the age of six I was learning how to disarm gunmen and learning how to control my powers.

God my life has gotten so much better without them.

Once I'm out the swarm of children, my eyes instantly fall on Sloane, Luther, and Ben, and I feel a slight shiver go down my spine at the sight of ben, I mean it's weird to think he has the face of the boy I used to love when we were like thirteen, but he's not the boy I love, I think anyway, I mean okay I sorta have feelings for this Ben, but I don't want him to think it's because he has the face of my old Ben, its confusing isn't it?

"y/n hi!" Sloane exclaims, waving me over with her hands, and I put on a wide smile as I make my way over to her, setting my present for Grace on the table beside her before she wraps me into a tight hug, which I return with an awkward laugh.

"I heard you're a firefighter now? that's sick." I say, turning to Luther with a smile and he just nods.

"we brought the Umbrella Academy, we're currently renovating it, I'd love for you to come stay some time." He tells me, and I widen my eyes, pretending to be interested as I make small 'oo' noises.

I hate when our family gather together, I mean Luther is married with a child, Diego is married with kids, I don't know what the fuck is going on with Allison, weve hardly spoken since we got to this time line and its not exactly that i dont want to talk to her, i just dont know what id say, Klaus doesn't need love, Five is technically married to a piece of plastic, Ben's just out of prison, Viktor has basically dated every girl in his town and I'm just.. there, I end up feeling extremely left out at the family gatherings when they start talking about issues with their kids or relationship problems because the only relationship problem was the fact Ben died on me.

"How was prison?" I ask ben, my eyes lighting up slightly as I turn to face him, all my attention now on him.

"I can't exactly say I enjoyed it." He tells me, raising a bottle of beer to his lips and taking a sip, and I just know his parole officer is gonna be pissed so I just let out a quiet laugh.

"So where are you staying then? I can't imagine your parole officer would let you live far." I then go onto ask, and he groans slightly, pointing at Luther and Sloane who are now talking to Diego.

"but I'm seriously debating robbing a bank just to get thrown back in." He then adds, looking around and I can't help but laugh a little louder.

"You're staying with them?" I scoff, turning to look at him with raised eyebrows.

"hardly by choice, I just needed a permanent address." He sighs, and I laugh again.

"Fresh out prison, and you're gonna be turned into a painter, electrician, plumber and babysitter. good luck." I tell him and he lets out a small chuckle before taking another drink from his beer.

"How have you been then?" Ben asks, and I shrug slightly.

"I mean, yeah, I've been.. living." I answer with a laugh, and he nods in agreement.

"Why don't we go get you a drink, we can sit at a table at the very back, and you can let it all out." He offers and I rapidly nod.

I sit at the table with Ben, taking a small sip from my beer before clearing my throat.

"I'm a child psychologist now." I tell him, and he nods slightly.

"I mean, it just felt right, yknow? I want to help kids so they don't end up with a childhood that we had. Well, I mean, without the powers, the robotic mom, the alien dad, you get what I mean." I tell him with a small wave of my hand, and he continues to nod, a small smile on his face.

"I get it." He tells me, and we both fall into a comfortable silence before he breaks it right as I take a mouthful of beer.

"don't you miss your powers?"

that question almost makes me spit my beer everywhere, my eyes widening as I stare at him.

"God, no, I don't miss them in this time line Nobody knows who I am, nobody takes a double take or gawks at me waiting to see my powers in use, I can be whatever I want to be in this timeline and I plan on using that to my hearts content." I tell him, and he just looks at me.

"You don't miss them? not even a little bit?" He asks, and I shake my head, which causes him to shrug slightly.

"I miss my powers, I feel.. ordinary without them." He tells me, and I furrow my eyebrows slightly.

"No offence, but I'm glad you don't have your powers. You died because of them in my original timeline, and it's good to see what my ben would've looked like grown up." I tell him, and he gives me a sad smile before we fall quiet yet again.

"and i think it's good to feel ordinary, I spent my whole childhood wanting to be normal to fit in, and now I do." I then add, and he scoffs.

"There's nothing ordinary about us y/n. Apart from the Umbrella Academy and the Sparrow Academy, nobody in the world has gone through even a fraction of what we have, and you've technically went through more than me because the Umbrellas ended the world in 2019, just to then go and do it again back in the 60s, to come back for it to end in 2019 again.." Ben says, and I just scoff, but I can't help but laugh and nod.

"and both times was technically Viktors fault." I argue, and we both smile before Five appears from under a slide somewhere and nods, a bottle of beer in his hand.

"it was Viktors fault both times. Actually, she's not making that up." He tells ben as he makes his way over to our table, dragging a chair along behind him, and ben just raised his eyebrows slightly, clearly pissed off our conversation had been distributed by Five, who still looks like a kid.

"Well, isn't this just a sad table of losers who feel out of place at their nieces birthday party with all the married couples and kids." Five says as he sits his beer down on our table with a large clink.

"I don't feel out of place, I could easily find someone I could marry and have kids with. you couldn't because you look like you're 18." I argue, and five leans back in his seat and crosses his arms slightly, mouthing ben so subtly so that ben can't see.

"Wait, y/n, did you ever even move on after your ben died?" My other Ben asks, and I look at him, my eyes wide as I try to muster an answer.

I try to muster up and answer, but none suitable come to my mind because the truth is I didn't even try to move on, I felt like there was no point, my whole childhood my heart was set on the fact that I'd be marrying Ben, I wanted to at the time despite how young we were and the fact we didn't fully understand the whole concept of marrige and he said he wanted to aswell. when he died I just blamed myself, I thought it was my fault he had died and I convinced myself everyone I love will die because of me, as a sort of reminder that my powers were a curse. obviously, that fact was proven false because my powers are gone. but even now, I'm still cautious to open myself back up to love, but when I'm with this ben, I feel myself slowly opening up again.

"I tried, but nobody stuck around." I lie, and Five shoots me a knowing glare, and Ben just nods, yet another comfortable silence falling over us as I take a large drink from my beer, staring down at my hands before Five starts a conversation with Ben and I can't help but sigh a sigh of relief.

somehow, Luther and Sloane have convinced me to come to theirs to stay the night.

"I think it'll have beneficial effects on releasing your childhood trauma y/n." Luther tells me as I sit in the back of his car, ben at the other side as sloane sits in the front and stares out the window.

"I'm the child psychologist Luther. You just stick to putting out fires." I state, crossing my arms slightly as I stare out the car window, watching the world go by the single frame of glass, trying to hide my smile as I hear Ben laugh at my comment.

"Do you ever sit and look at people and just laugh to yourself because you've saved their asses from the end of the world three times now?" I ask to Luther mainly due to the fact the Sparrow Academy have only had to save the world once, which ended up in all but two of them dying and he just shrugs as he continues to drive.

"Imagine how Viktor feels, knowing he almost killed them twice." Ben says, and that causes me to laugh, slapping a hand over my mouth as I try to stop it.

"That's nasty! the first time wasn't fully his fault. He just discovered his powers and didn't know how to stop them." I tell him, leaning over to gently slap his arm, but I'm still laughing.

"Plus, it's also semi Luther fault for locking him in this weird, safe thing." I add, and Luther groans, muttering something under his breath, leaving me to smile proudly.

"Let's just sit in silence till we get home." Luther suggests, and nobody says a single word to protest and I guess it would be sorta rude if I did seeing as I'm staying at his house tonight.

I sit in my old room, looking around at how empty it is because the Umbrella Academy doesn't exist in this timeline, meaning this room is just a room where I just so happened to share all of my good childhood memories, or atleast the handful I can call good.

"Why would you actually agree to come back here?" Ben asks with a laugh as he stands at the doorframe, staring down at me with questioning eyes.

"I think it's actually partly to do with what Luther said, I think it's good for myself to come see the place and realise that everything that happened back in my time line is just memories now, I dont know I guess I'm trying to give myself some closure." I answer with a shrug as ben walks further into the room, now sitting beside me on the bed.

"What were we like? in your timeline anyway?" ben asks, and I feel my heart stop for a second as I look at him for a brief moment.

"Really young but you -" I cut myself off. Is it wrong to address this ben as my Ben? because it is the same person, but it's not at the same time.

"we understood each other, he- *you* were one of the only people at the Umbrella Academy who showed me love despite our age. if we were doing paired work, we'd always be together, at meals we'd always pass notes, during training we always went easy on each other, during missions we always had a close eye on each other, we'd always spend time in my room. yeah, we were really young, but we still loved each other." I tell him, and he just looks at me, a sad smile on his face.

"we were convinced we were gonna get married, and in all honesty, I would've married you if you stuck around." I then add, looking away as I get an unbearable feeling of sadness.

"I would've married you if you came to the Sparrow Academy timeline earlier." Ben tells me, and I almost choke on my spit as I look at him, my eyes wide.

"What?" I ask, shaking my head slightly.

"I felt myself changing slightly the minute I looked at you when our academies met, but I was too.." He trails off trying to find the words.

"stuck up? full of yourself?" I begin listing and he rolls his eyes but he smiles slightly.

"Yeah, yeah, I was too stuck up to actually allow myself to change for you, and also, I was too scared because I know im nothing like your ben so I didn't want to cause a disappointment as though you lost him again." Ben admits, and I just stare at him.

"Ben, you are my ben." I state, my eyes not leaving his face, not even when his eyes light up slightly, not even when he turns to look at me.

"I didn't want to tell you in case you thought I'm just using you because of what happened with Umbrella Ben, but I promise you that is not the case. You are my ben." I then add, and I see his eyes softening as a small smile appears on the edge of his lips.

"so it's safe to say we like each other then?" He asks after a moment of us just staring at each other.

"I guess so." I jokingly groan, but I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a hug, just savouring the feeling of ben in my arms, my ben as one of his arms wrap around my waist, the other one coming up to reach into my hair, pressing the back of my head closer into him.

"I can't believe you went to prison, you asshole! I was gonna tell you I had feelings for you once we all settled into the new timeline, and then you went to prison."I scoff, and he pulls away from the embrace slightly and looks at me.

"You could've always written a letter or something." He tells me, a smirk playing on his lips.

"I would've been better using a carrier pigeon. No chance was I gonna have a prison pen pal." I scoff, rolling my eyes, but I did write, and then I wrote again, and again, and guess what? I wrote again.

"I did write to you, over and over again, I just never had the courage to send them, because imagine you got one of the letters, wrote back but it didn't send to me?" I ask, a shiver going down my spine at the thought of never knowing if he felt the same way.

"Well, I would've rewrote the same letter every day and sent it to you until you got it." Ben says, a slight hint of promise in his words, and with that, I press a kiss to his lips, and he instantly returns it, his hand on my waist tightening, gently pushing my head closer to his as he depends the kiss and we continue in our kissing embrace got a few moments, before we hear a:

"When I said coming here would help to release your childhood trauma, I didn't mean by doing.. this." Luther says, and I just pull away laughing.

[byerseason]

some ranting

people do not realize how important the representations are and it’s really pissing me off so much. they act like byler wouldn’t be a representation just because they don’t like the ship.

talking about my own family, they’ve always been homophobic due to religious reasons. i had a friend who was lesbian, and when my mom accidentally heard about that, she forced me to cut ties with her. that was how she was in the past.

we watched st with her multiple times. and whether you accept it or not, the queer characters do make a difference. my mom started to feel empathy towards will. he was always her favorite since s1 but in s4 she wasn’t disgusted by his sexuality or anything. she was in fact feeling sad for him.

these characters give the audience the chance to see what these people go through. to see the harshness of their lives and how they can’t even accept and love themselves, and for what? for the most basic human feeling ever, love.

i was talking about will and how he changed her with my mom and she told me if i ever experience some kind of things or anything i can always talk to her. that wasn’t something my mom from 3 years ago would do.

and now if byler happens, she will see how pure the love can be even if it’s between the same gender. how hard their lives can be. just because you don’t like the ship itself it doesn’t mean it’s not making a difference for good. and we need these representations in mainstream media like stranger things. you know my mom would not sit down and watch heartstopper or any other queer-based show. it’s important to shove it to their faces. and for byler, mike’s point of view is gonna be a perfect representation of internalized homophobia since we don’t have many shows that have that. it’ll perfectly show what people thought was love all along was STILL love but a queer one, which will prove them it’s not any different.

[laurrelise]

this song + heat of the moment (also by noel gallagher’s high flying birds) (which was in s1e5 of tua) are making my appreciation for this band i’ve never heard before skyrocket

if tua s4 did anything, i guess i can thank them for that (but also -5000 points for everything else that s4 was)

This stupid fucking song keeps making me CRY OH MY GODDDD 😭 it’s genuinely so beautiful and the fact that it played in the last season messes me up so bad

just the mere thought of this song popping up in my head just makes me cry

[ahhnini]

okay season 4 rafe where they broke up and shes a kook turned pouge, and its just a bunch of angst and basically all of s4 with her?

our last summer - rafe cameron x reader

synopsis - he wishes he could've had one last summer with you

warnings - angst, kook turned pogue!reader, mentions of cheating, (slight) sofia slander (I love her tho!!), stabbing, character death

you were in no means ready to see him, let alone work with your ex-fiancée again. you knew he’d been stealing glances at you while you all trek your way through the sandy dunes of the coast of morocco, but you were strong enough to keep yourself from looking back and meeting his gaze.

your main priority was sarah, who you could tell was getting queasy from the amount of activity she’d been doing these past couple of days. once you saw the skyline of a city, your ounce of optimism returned.

around a year ago, you’d been happily engaged to who you thought was the love of your life, rafe cameron. after you’d found a tank top that wasn’t yours in your shared bedroom, you’d knew he was seeing someone else, but you didn’t expect that someone to be your own best friend, sofia.

you had followed the pogues to morocco after what groff had done to jj. you were willing to follow them to the ends of the earth, never leave a pogue behind, john b's words echo in your head.

you were sitting with sarah, rubbing her back while the rest of the group went to go get some food for her. rafe was mumbling incoherent sentences, something he always did while pissed off or annoyed, and you tried your best to ignore his complaints. "you okay?" you softly spoke up, sarah meekly nodded her head in response.

you hear the shout of multiple voices, turning around to see the rest of the group running towards you. you stood up, dumbfounded as the moroccan authorities chase your friends. already? one of them apprehends you, and you writhe at their grip. you plead to them, but its no use. you turn around, seeing rafe also getting held up. the rest of the pogues were nowhere to be found. as long as they got each other, they're safe.

after a quick interrogation, the authorities let you both go. you let out a huff, not only because you were falsely accused, but because you're now stuck with your ex-lover, in a foreign country.

"are you serious?" were the first words you'd tell him in a year. he pulled out a wad of cash and his passport from his belt bag. "that's like, hundreds of dollars, rafe! you could've fed your sister!" he turns to look at you, piercing blue eyes burning holes through your soul. "listen, my only job was to get you pogues to morocco. no more, no less. if you don't wanna get lost, you gotta follow me, I'm your best bet," "as if," you roll your eyes, "we're in the same boat—no pun intended—but, you are also in a different country," he pulls you into his chest with one arm, whispering in your ear, "yeah? but guess who has the money? guess who actually has defense skills. not you, huh?" he shoves you out of his arms, making you stumble backward. you scoff, following him through the crowded streets.

"you look nice," a slight smile dawned on his face as one of the store clerks helped you wrap your scarf around your hair. you both had changed into more neutral colored outfits to help blend in. "hold on" you see rafe turn to a stand that's selling phones. you impatiently tap your foot as he dials a couple of numbers in. you follow closely, wanting to find out who needed his attention so badly.

your heart clenched as you heard another female voice, quickly realizing that it was sofia. of course, why wouldn't he call his girlfriend? now, you distanced yourself from him, looking at the floor as you drag your feet along the dirt, getting your shoes dusty.

this day felt like years. after an extensive search for groff, you'd finally found him. you rode on the back of the motorcycle rafe stole, holding onto his waist. you couldn't help but have your mind flashback to your last motorcycle ride with him, still on kildare, on the way to courthouse to get marriage documents. his cologne hadn’t changed either. you remembered how his cologne lingered on every article of your clothing. you knew he’d been about it too from the way his body tensed up.

you shake your head, he probably does that with sofia now. you sniffle, hoping the sound of the engine would muffle it. rafe pulls off to the side of the road, stopping at a well. you use this time to regain your distance from him, stretching from the long ride. "is that it?" you point to the city down the cliff, squinting your eyes. groff looks at the map, nodding his head. you see the two men bent over the well, and you shuffle to see what they were looking at. "...good thing hollis and I paid off that girl...what was her name? sonya? oh, sofia!" you see rafe's face twist. you kneel down in front of the well, next to groff, "what are you talking about?" "its really none of your business," he retorted.

what happens next is a blur, groff pulls out a knife, attempting to stab rafe. rafe's reflexes work in record-time, but it was a horrible decision to try to help him at this moment. as groff attempts to defend himself, you feel the blade go into your stomach. you let out a sharp gasp, after seeing groff get shoved down the well, you collapse, rafe gracing your fall. "hey, hey, y/n, stay with me, please," his voice cracks as be sits you down on the side. he holds your wound, and you let out a painful groan. his eyes widen. he still calls out for help, desperation lacing his voice. "no one can hear you," you cough.

gentle hands hold your face, "rafe, you can't save me, I'm sorry," you feel a warmness fill your body. "no, no, I can, we can get you to a hospital! stay with me-" you cough again, louder this time, "no, its impossible," he curses under his breath, before shouting to the sky. he embraces you, your voice getting weaker by the second, "hey rafe? can you tell me about our best memories? like...during our relationship?" your voice was barely a whisper now.

he nods, voice barely steady as he begins to talk, "we had a lot of good memories, but my favorite was our last summer, where we were gonna get married in the fall. I shouldn't have cheated, I'm so sorry," he sobs onto your shoulder, "remember when all we did was go surfing? and I taught you how to ride those big swells 'cus you were too scared...and...how we were gonna move out of kildare after we got married? we were gonna move to colorado, live that white picket fence type of life," he bitterly chuckles, "I screwed up, I screwed us, and I'm so, so, sorry. If I could rewind time, just to feel your lips on mine again, just to hear you laugh, just to have you look at me with so much love, I would. I'd make sure you were never under this situation." your mind replayed all of those memories, and with shaky hands, you pull him in for one last kiss, pulling back to say your last words, “I never stopped loving you, rafe,” before letting your body finally succumb to your injury.

taglist - @nemesyaaa @julie123456897 @mfdoomdickrider @grxnde-dwt @littlelamy @rafeeekam @xcinnamonmalfoyx

[rafesbabygirlx]

A Lot of Time has Passed | Part 7B

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

Season 4 Rafe x Maybank reader

Summary: Beginning at the time jump, the Pogues seemingly succeeded at something, Rafe is struggling with making amends and being a better person. Jus sister left the island after returning from South America. Returning after 18 months with a secret.

A/N: took a page from @whytheylosttheirminds with separating the part into 2. Because it’s a bit of writing. About 3k words each. I wanted to finish this off before S4 P2 begins so it’s finishing this is the last part until it airs.

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: fluff, bit of angst, smut (oral m receiving, chest riding, p in v riding) death, Luke Maybank

“Can we please talk?”

You give it a second but you can see the desperation in his eyes, “okay, talk.”

He runs a hand through his buzz cut, eyes heavy with guilt. “I’m sorry. I do want to be better. I’m the man of the Cameron family now, and what am I supposed to do when all the women in my life hate me? Fear me? It eats at me. I should’ve stood up for Kie, set an example that Ruthie and Topper’s bullshit isn’t acceptable anymore, never was, I don’t care about that reputation anymore, not like I used to. When I look at V, all I want is to be better. I have no excuse.

He watches you, searching for a sign that you’re listening. You offer him nothing, forcing him to keep talking. “I took you for granted for so long. Used you, kept you a secret because I was scared of what people would think, all because of stupid titles. I knew Topper and Kelce wouldn’t say anything but that’s always what they’d use to try to piss me off when we’d be messing with each other. You always meant something to me and I constantly pushed you away. I hurt you more times than I can count, some of the times worse than others.”

Painful memories flash between you—He’s talking about the time he handcuffed you to his bed during his downward spiral after killing Peterkin, dragging you with him to Barry’s when he needed to hide out, putting you in the middle of gunfire with the police when he got caught. Drugging you alongside Sarah and bringing you on that ship then standing idle why he watched his dad strangle you until you were blue when you got smart with him about murdering Big John. All because he didn’t want to be alone.

“You came to me for protection from your father, and I failed you. You tried to help me, and I pushed you away. But all I want now is to see you happy. You shouldn’t have even forgiven me.”

Tears slip down your face as you reach out, cupping his cheek. “I told you what I thought your problem was, and I was right. You’ve grown without your father’s shadow. Even before I came back, you’d changed. You are the man of the Cameron family now, and you can be the kind of man your father never was. I need you to be all in, Rafe. No more half-measures. V needs you. I need to know we can count on you. Only then can we move forward.”

You grab the sea turtle V left on the bed this morning, unintentionally but great for the point you’re trying to make. “Because what if she was there, what if she could understand all that happened.” You toss it to him. “Think about her Rafe.”

“I promise,” he says, voice cracking. “Forever and always.”

A bittersweet smile spreads across your face. The words that once comforted you in your darkest moments return, anchoring you both.

I’ll protect you, I promise, forever and always.

I’ll be here for you when you need me, I promise, forever and always.

I’ll kick his ass for you, I promise, forever and always.

“I love you, Rafe, and that’s never changing.” You kneel closer, wrapping him in a hug.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he whispers, his voice resolute. “Forever and always.”

╰☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆╮

You look at him, and he smirks. You kiss him on the lips, then his jaw, then his neck. He coos at the feeling. You sit up and pull off your tank top, laying back down. You stare into his eyes intently as you play with the waistline of your shorts. He goes to reach out for you, but you smack his hand away.

“Uh uh, take your clothes off.” “Yes, mam.” He stands up and rids himself of his own pajamas, now standing completely bare in front of you. “Lay.”

He does exactly as you say. You straddle his legs, running a finger down his length to tease him. Kneeling your upper body down, arch your ass into the air, and he smiles down at you. You grab him in your hand, running your thumb over his tip, smearing his precum. You drop a glob of spit down onto him. You lower your head onto him, beginning to bob up and down. He thrusts up into you at the sensation, and you remove your mouth from him.

“Uh uh, I’m in charge tonight, baby.”

He nods his head and throws his hands up in a mock surrender. You begin bobbing again, taking as much of him as you can, gagging on his huge length but taking him nonetheless. You run your hand that's not pumping him up and down his torso, scratching your nails on the way down. You hear his series of grunts and moans and feel the way he'd tense up trying to refrain from thrusting up.

He was getting close, and you could tell by the way he'd twitch in your throat. When his breathing started to hitch, you let him go and watched for his reaction. As he realizes his orgasm was lost, he opens his eyes to see you kneeling in front of him with a big smirk.

“Not fun being treated like shit, right?” You laugh, and he rolls his eyes but eventually laughs quietly. He goes to sit up, and you push him back into the pillow. You want to tease him as much as you can. You made up, but it's nice to give him a little taste of his own medicine.

You start making your way up him, taking a seat right below his chin. You push down into him and moan. You begin to ride his chest. Rafe always loved to eat you out, and you know having him this close to your pussy drives him crazy.

“Let me taste you.” Gripping his head, moving it up closer to your clit. “Tongue out.” He lays his tongue out flat, and you move a little closer to also ride his tongue. Using him like this feels so good since you'd usually let him take control.

Your movements quicken, digging your nails into the back of his head, and you crane his neck. You're getting close, and you don't plan on slowing down. You hold yourself up on the headboard, and your body twitches. Rafe moans into your clit, and your head throws back. You shake as you come, arousal sticking to his chest. You lift up a bit to his mouth, and he cleans up what's left.

You move back down to his waist. Licking the palm of your hand and reaching back to stroke him. His body jolts at the feelings. You line yourself up with him and sink down onto him. Your nails dig into his chest at the stretching. No matter how many times you do this, the feeling always has you shocked.

You settle on him for a second before you lift up and throw yourself back down onto him. Your pace is immediately quick. You bounce like there's no tomorrow. Taking control of him like this is so rewarding. The feeling is amazing, but you need more stimulation. You begin to grind, feeling his pelvic bone rub against you has seeing stars.

“Can I touch?” You nod, and Rafe's hands roam your body. You're driving him crazy tonight, but his touch is soft. Taking every inch of you in. You're an angel sent from heaven to him. You're both close, and you're getting tired. Rafe grabs your hips and keeps you moving. You lean down and begin to kiss him.

“Love you, baby doll. Forever and always.” You lean your forehead on his as you continue your movements. “Fuck, Rafe. I love you more. Forever and always.” You cry out with a high-pitched moan as you release your orgasm. Rafe follows right behind you, gripping your waist hard and letting out a bunch of grunts.

You lift off of Rafe but stay on top of him. You shift down a little, enough to be able to lay your head on his chest. Following the rise and fall of his heavy breaths and listen to his heart race, while he holds you tightly, leaving kisses on the top of your head. You could lay like that forever.

╰☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆╮

The next morning you and Rafe wake up still tangled up with one another. He’s dressed and doesn’t smell like sweat and sex anymore, which means he left at some point. It angers you a bit but you chose to let it go for now. You take a shower and come out of the bathroom to see Rafe flying V around the room like Superman. You’re downstairs having breakfast, really just talking to V trying to make her laugh. That fell into a bit of a silence.

“I took the deal.”

“What?”

“Last night, I took the deal. That’s why I was dressed. I know you noticed but didn’t say anything.”

Taken aback just a bit. You were still very nervous of what Hollis’s intentions were. But you said you’d be supportive no matter what. “Ok, so now what?”

“She sent the info to the investors. The deposit should come out at some point today. And now I’m in contract with them.”

“Did you read the fine print about murder if this thing goes wrong?”

He laughs at the outrageous statements and goes to reach for your hand. “Yes, I read the whole thing, no there isn’t anything about murder. Not sure it’s something they’d want in paper.”

You smile and grip his hand a little harder. You go to say something but he cuts you off, “after yesterday, after our talk, after last night (he winks and you giggle), I thought this was the best step for US.” I want to be taken seriously, I want to be a strong father for V. Then I saw a photo of me and Sarah and I thought about the things I did to her. How she hates my guts, how she looked at me yesterday. I can’t be that person anymore. I’m gonna do the right thing and this is a stepping stone in that. This is for our family. I know you always hated that I’d tried to treat you with gifts and money, but you’re stuck with me and what’s mine is yours. So get used to it.” He takes a deep breath and smiles at you.

You release his hand and walk to the other side of the table to sit on his lap. “Ok Rafe Cameron. I told you I’d be there with you the whole way. Anything you need I’ll help you. I’m not going anywhere this time.” You give him a big kiss on the cheek when your phone starts to vibrate.

You reach over and pick it up and JJ is yelling in the other side. “JJ calm down!”

“Sis I need you here right now. I’m alone and got this letter and I’m freaking out.”

“Okay, OKAY, I’ll come.” You hang up and turn back to Rafe. “Do you think you’d be ok for a few when I go handle something for my brother?

“I mean sure but I thought we’d celebrate.”

“Ok first rule of the “be a better man” journey is to know that when a sibling calls in distress saying they need you. They probably need you. That would’ve saved you a lot of trouble.”

Rafe looks at you with a blank stare. “Ok- go then. I’ve got V.” You’re shocked at the reaction. Not being able to tell if he was mad at it or not was difficult. You didn’t mean to throw in a little jab about the past. It’s just a good lesson for him to learn.

You lean down to give him a kiss. “I love you.” Looking deeply into his eyes. “Forever and always.” He returns back.

╰☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆╮

Meeting JJ at your old house feels strange. He’s standing in the living room, staring at a piece of paper and rubbing his head. He hadn’t explained anything on the phone, which left you uneasy, but seeing his disheveled state makes your anxiety spike.

“J? What’s going on? Where is everyone?” you ask, voice tight with worry.

“They’re out on the boat, taking care of Terrance’s body,” he mutters, barely looking up.

“Terrance? As in Cleo’s Terrance? What happened?”

JJ sighs, exhaustion lining his face. “Cleo got kidnapped. Terrance was involved but didn’t know who the target was. He tried to save her, and it got him killed. I’ll fill you in later, but I need you to read this.”

He hands you the letter. The first line catches your eye: “Master JJ Maybank. Don’t let that go to your head.” You laugh nervously, but JJ doesn’t even crack a smile.

“Genrette’s groundskeeper brought this to me,” he explains. “Said Genrette left it for me.”

The words on the letter blur as you try to piece together its meaning. “I think we need to find dad,” JJ say, your eyes dart back to him.

“Absolutely not. I’m not seeing him,” you snap.

“Good thing it’s not about you,” he counters. “He’s the only one who might have answers to whatever this is.”

JJ’s expression softens, and he nods reluctantly. “You’re right. Sorry. Any idea where he might be?”

“I have a hunch.”

Minutes later, you’re on JJ’s boat, slicing through the water toward Barracuda Mike’s house. When you arrive, Mike is in his yard fidgeting with a go kart, watching the approaching storm clouds.

“Hey, Big B, you know there’s a storm coming, right?” JJ calls out.

“Yeah, I see it,” Mike responds.

You hang back as JJ pleads with Mike for information on your dad’s whereabouts. Moments later, Mike sighs and mutters, “I’ll call you if Luke gets in touch.” Sending you both off to the dock.

JJ sets the phone on speaker as it rings. Luke’s familiar voice comes through, cautious and calculating, until he hears Mike’s dog bark in the background. Realization hits him too late.

“We gotta move,” JJ says, eyes wide. You both sprint back to the house and bang on the door. Mike steps out, irritation creasing his brow.

“Mike, I’ve got a daughter to get home to. Don’t waste my time with this bullshit,” you says, voice cracking under the strain.

“I’m a grandpa, huh?” Luke’s voice drips with smugness as he steps out, a twisted smile on his face. “Didn’t see that coming.”

“Actually, you’re not,” you retort coldly. “She’ll never know you exist.”

Luke’s smirk falters, replaced by a fleeting shadow of disappointment. “That’s no way to talk to your old man,” he says, trying and failing to sound fatherly.

JJ shifts protectively in front of you, confronting Luke about his sudden reappearance and silence. You take a step back to the dock, needing space to process. Pulling out your phone, you FaceTime Rafe and V for a distraction. Rafe’s face lights up with a grin.

“Hey, when are you coming back? I’ve got something to tell you,” he says.

Before you can respond, the sound of sirens fills the air, and you see JJ and Luke sprinting toward the boat.

“Shit,” you mutter, forgetting you’re still on the call. “I gotta go. Bye, V. Rafe, I’ll call you later.”

JJ jumps in the boat with Luke behind him. “Take me home on the way,” you tell JJ firmly as you climb aboard.

Luke glances at you. “So, you’re a mom?” he asks.

“Yes,” you reply flatly, not sparing him a look. “And don’t ask anything about her. You don’t deserve to know her.”

“It’s with that Cameron kid, isn’t it?” Luke chuckles, as if confirming a suspicion. “I always thought that’d happen—the way he used to sneak in and out of your window. And I knew that’s where you’d be when you disappeared. Good for you, little miss new Kook.”

You clench your jaw, holding back a response. As the boat nears your house, you quickly text Rafe: Home. Meet me at the dock.

When you hop off the boat, you wave to JJ as he drives him and Luke off. Rafe and V are already walking down to meet you. You pull them into a tight hug.

“So, what’s up?” you ask, sensing the weight in Rafe’s eyes.

“I’ve been thinking about everything,” Rafe begins. “I’m really sorry for all the shit at the beach. Pogue this, Pogue that. I shouldn’t have put you through that.”

“We’ve talked about this,” you say, tilting your head at him.

“I know,” he continues, “but I need to know we’re good. My dad was a Pogue; that shit doesn’t matter. What matters is I wanna be like him, hardworking and keeping this family together. I want to build things, be better, in my own way. I’m going to patch things up with my sister, and I want you there with me. When the deal with Hollis goes through, I’m keeping a piece for us. For the three of us.”

The thought of the deal makes you pause, the uncertainty gnawing at you. Rafe notices and takes your hand. “Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll make it work—you and me. I promise.”

He leans in and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. With that reassurance, the three of you head inside, ready to face whatever comes next.

TBC

Taglist:

@maybankslover @eringaitskill @luissa266 @lolll505

@dayyzlol @calaryssia @eg-dr3amer3 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @rafestar @bigbonenative

@writtenbyhollywood @livie4lifestarkeyblyth @leilanizcals

[mikeslawyer]

never fails to piss me off how this fandom made steve into this huge lgbt ally, made him out to be practically perfect, forgot every bad thing he’s done in favour of his character development and yet seems to be simultaneously hating on jonathan.

jonathan, who has been the best older brother to will, a canonically queer character throughout the entire show, no matter what

jonathan, who understood what will was telling him in that one scene in s4 and told him that he knows and it’s okay and he loves him, always will love him

jonathan, who knows that will is in love with mike and has vowed himself to protect his younger brother from getting hurt because of it

but there is so much hate on jonathan, because god forbid a TEENAGER who’s been a glass child his whole life and practically has lived in fear of losing his whole family for the past four years - god forbid he smokes weed to cope with everything he’s been through, because - obviously - when he does, then ‘his character development has gone to shit’

so we can forgive steve for calling people homophobic slurs and still see him as a gay ally because he’s changed but we draw the line at an always canonical ally when he uses weed? yeah, okay

[winpocalypse]

i might be the only one who doesn’t get the popularity of pining!sam lol. sure yes jared improvised some scenes (wendigo, playthings) but i’d say it’s more about early seasons sam’s hero worshipping & pure devotion towards dean, while narratively it makes sense for dean to be the one violently pining and yearning (the siren episode, hello? the sexual subtext of it? and don’t get me started on dean’s constant unsubtle flirting with sam, the ass slapping etc). then also it should be taken into account that sam continued to run away from dean throughout the whole kripke era, i feel like most people in the fandom dismiss this core aspect of him, the fact that he’s not obsessive on dean’s level (the panic room, dean still being mad at him for going to college YEARS later, him getting angry over not being in sam’s happiest memories in 5.16) and personally i think it makes him more interesting. sam’s world doesn’t have to revolve around dean. actually it’s one of the reasons for their conflicts :)

totally!

i really like pining in general, but i see often the dynamic of poor sam pining for oblivious dean and i don't find that so appealing. i think pining sam goes hard on s3, something about running out of time, the desperation of trying to save dean. and maybe here dean would play oblivious just so they don't make it more complicated. s5 pining as well, he wants so bad for dean to forgive him, to be by his side, and here dean just pushes him away, i love it.

but i think pining dean goes harder, because the way sam's always slipping from his fingers? stanford, then his death, then dean's deal and death, then the demon blood, then lucifer. he pines so hard, and he loses control in every situation concerning sam, and the only way he knows how to respond to it is with anger. s4 and s5 pining with pissed off energy? it build and builds and when it explodes it's not pretty

yeeaaaaah

[love-byers]

can you speak more on your experience becoming a byler cos this always fascinates me, especially when it's people who were once milevens thanks!

absolutely, i love talking about this lol

so i watched stranger things 1 when it came out in 2016 & i was 12. my media literacy wasn't great at the time, and like most people i liked mike and el's little romance. but i did think their kiss came way too fast and kind of out of nowhere. wasn't a fan of that. i thought it would've been better if they didn't get to kiss and made both the audience and mike and el wait. and i was like "uhhh how does she even know what a kiss is" but whatever

then s2 came out, i was 13. i LOVED mike and will's relationship, maybe even more than i liked mike and el's. when mike grabbed wills hand i VIVIDLY remember thinking "they would be such a good couple, but they'd never do that. oh well!". at this point in my life i was realizing my sexuality and was super into queer media. i say that just so you know i was receptive to queer representation and enjoyed it. but to me at that time, i saw stranger things for the massive success it was, famous enough that they'd never have a main character be queer. it just wasn't a thought in my mind that it could ever happen.

i loved the snowball scene and thought mike and el were super cute. i remember thinking "wow their bond must be so deep and they take each other very seriously. it's them against the world"

i was 15 and BEYOND pissed when s3 came out and it was clear mike and el were reduced to comedly relief. i wanted their relationship to be lovable like it was in s2. i hated how mike became so unlikable when he was with el when he was previously shown to be so loyal and caring. and above all, i hated how it was like mike and will's relationship in 2 never happened. i remember thinking "wtf mike?? do you not remember how protective you were of him before?? how close you were??" at the time i thought it was bad writing and it honestly turned me off of s3 and i didn't finish it for like 2 years.

when i finally did i was a bit confused. i remember watching the rain fight and thinking "wow that felt more like a breakup than mike and el's actual breakup" it just struck me how sad it was compared to the breakup. but my heteronormativity towards stranger things was so strong that i didn't even clock will being gay until someone pointed it out for me. and i definitely didn't clock that will was in love with mike. i remember noticing how mike and will were always together and positioned next to each other like jancy and lumax were. but for some reason, and i really don't know why, i just didn't really absorb it.

what really surprised me was the s3 finale, like the final goodbye scenes. during mike and will's i saw mikes reaction to will saying "not possible" and i was like.....hm. he sure seems happy. but whatever

mike and el's goodbye scene just confused me. i didn't understand why mike acted like he didn't know what she was talking about when he spent all season trying to say i love you, i didn't understand why mike didn't close his eyes or kiss her back when he spent all season trying to say i love you, i didn't understand why el walked away and winced, i didn't understand why mike looked like that when she walked away AFTER HE SPENT ALL SEASON TRYING TO SAY I LOVE YOU, and i didn't understand why the music sounded so happy as if NONE OF IT HAPPENED. and when mike hugged karen i was like, why does he look like he just realized something??? wtf is happening???

i didn't realize there was any romance between mike and will until s4. actually, i heard people saying will was gay and in love with mike and i was like "pshh no way". then i saw the trailer where el says will likes someone and i was like "oh my god they did make him in love with mike". but again, for some strange reason, i felt like it was a decision made solely for s4. VERY stupid of me.

here i go more in depth about my specific reactions to s4 scenes but theres one i didn't mention and it's the way mike looks will up and down when he says "cool". i was like "uhh that was kinda flirty..."

but i finished vol 1 thinking about byler a little more. i heard there was a masterdoc about them so i read it, and for the first bit of it i didn't really believe any of it. then i saw the eyewitness parallel and i was like HHHHWHAAAAAAAT???????????????????? i VIVIDLY remember thinking "how is this possible?? didn't this come out of nowh--" and then it ALL hit me in the face. my jaw literally dropped. it's like i rewatched all of st in 3 seconds and everything made sense. the eyewitness parallel finally made me accept the writers would have gay characters and romance, and that was all it took. i never went back. mike and will's bond in s2, the decline of mike and el's relationship, mike and will's tension in s3, mikes reaction to not possible, mike reaction to el saying i love you, all of it made sense. at that point i was like 17 and my media literacy and love/skill for writing had grown a lot. the very first tiktok i made about byler was about how it doesn't make sense for the writers to build this up for so long just for it not to go anywhere, because it doesn't at all. and things just grew from there. i bled blue and yellow and i still do!

it was almost entirely heteronormativity keeping me from seeing byler earlier, so i talk about that a lot. because once you remove that, EVERYTHING makes perfect sense

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Remember this post where I talk about the points "for" and "against" who Nightbringer could be, with the obvious choices being Barbatos and Michael (seriously read that post, so that this post will make more sense)

Ok so more points! To be honest though, this post is less about Barbatos vs Michael and more about Demon vs Angel

1.) MC actually meets and talks with Nightbringer who says he's a demon

BUT he says it like this:

• Barbatos should know by now that MC has never had a problem trusting demons. They're literally in the situation they're in now because they gave a book that could have easily stopped him to the demon that was trying to kill them 5s ago and then pledged to protect that demon & his family and keep them happy

• Angels on the other hand do think like this. We see it from what Luke & (to a lesser extent) Raphael say. From what Lucifer says when he first meets Diavolo. From the (pretty fucked up but also lore/relationship building) angel event. Even from Simeon every once in a while.

2.) It's (probably) not present Barbatos because Nightbringer says that the new path that MC is on will bring about true happiness, whereas the path MC was already on (post s4) was already steadily moving towards what Diavolo wanted (they had a human employed in a high position in the Devildom hello???), and so was also what Barbatos wanted. I'd say it's also probably not past Barbatos (and I talk about why in the post I linked up top)

3.) Nightbringer, also tries to guide MC and get them to do what he wants because he thinks that's the best path, even when they repeatedly say they don't want this. This also feels like something an angel would do? Like demons make pacts with humans and then they have to listen and do whatever the human commands them to. Angels become guardian angels for certain humans, they're not supposed to interact with the humans but they are supposed to protect them - that sounds like there's a lot less of the human's decisions/choices/free will being taken into consideration than when in a pact with demons.

4.) Adam says he heard trumpets right before he met Nightbringer. And look it's been like over a decade since I read the Bible (so please correct me if I'm wrong) but aren't trumpets very famously associated with angels?

5.) Say we take Nightbringer's name very literally, as in Night - Bringer. And Nightbringer's little slam poetry sesh after talking with MC implies it should be taken literally. He brings darkness. And um....

??????

Now I'm not placing all my bets on Nightbringer being an angel.

There's always the possibility it's a third secret Barbatos (which I think would be very funny) or a completely different character

Right now, I'm just simply laying out all the facts that we've been presented with. Eiher way I'm excited to find out who it is (and punch him in the face. I think MC deserves to break his jaw)

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9.) Presumably-Michael says that the MC allying with Nightbringer would piss the Celestial Realm off

[10yearsatleast]

About damn fucking time I see someone discuss why SNK/AoT while good in the moment fell down into the toilet/sewer in S4.

Thank you for killing me slowly by a thousand mental cuts the ask, anon! First of all, lemme apologize for taking so long to answer, but in my defence, you asked me quite the question here.

I want to say first that I used to be a big snk fan. And then the final chapter was released. It was so bad that it made me look at the whole series with a very critical eye, which made me realize that snk has never been that great to begin with. What really made this story good was the anime produced by WIT, and what really carried the story was its big mystery box. The moment we opened it, everything went downhill bc this was no longer a fantasy world, but a lazy parody of ww2 Germany & Japan.

But more importantly, and referring to the final arc, I started to notice all the rot hidden in plain sight: its fascist and antisemitic undertones, the awful writing, the lackluster worldbuilding, the braindead politics and the inconsistent treatment of characters.

Despite my newfound interest for the cautionary symbolism of Reiner and his character arc, I still think it was handled poorly. I have the same problem with characters like Gabi, Annie, Magath, and Pieck. Their individual arcs ended with them facing no real consequences for their crimes. Magath, despite being a literal representation of the nazi, was rewarded by the plot with a heroic death (a baffling choice when you think about who he is and what he did, and just how brutal and meaningless all of the Scouts deaths were pre timeskip). Reiner, Annie, Pieck, and Gabi were all rewarded with the promise of a new, happier life ahead of them, despite being responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths directly or indirectly.

Gabi herself is proof of just how bad the writing is: RBA lived inside the walls for around 3 years, and yet they still went on with their mission. They still killed Marco. Annie still massacred those Scouts. It took Reiner 7 years to fully acknowledge that what he did was wrong and to finally make amends ... by joining an alliance that had the same goal as that of the warriors for the whole goddamn arc: take down Eren. However, Gabi realized she was wrong in like what, just a few months at best? Their development is dictated by however the plot needs them to be or act. But there's more:

Marco, the Levi Squad, Sasha, and -- as victims of similar circumstances -- Pixis, and Hange, the embodiment of pacifism, were all condemned for being good people, and some of them for believing that there is good in everybody, even in their enemies; and punished for believing that conflicts could be solved in peaceful ways. Does the cautionary symbolism of their brutal deaths still holds up when the story rewards violence and crushes pacifism?

I don't think it does.

Showing that even the worst of the worst are capable of change and doing the right thing in the end is an important message, but. The idea that everyone is just a victim of their uprising or their circumstances is simply wrong. Ideologies don't exist without people, cowardice does not justify orders carried out that lead to attrocities. This idea fails to acknowledge that evil exists. Not just nuanced evil, but pure evil as well. It also goes the other way around. This idea also fails to acknowledge that good can exist.

And also to sympathize with Pieck. And Magath, who in his final moments, revealed that he actually cared about the kids he was indoctrinating and instructing to commit genocide all along. I can't ignore the similarity with the way neonazi like to bring up hitler's friendship with Bernile Nienau, a girl of Jewish origins, as an attempt to humanize him. Heck, even Zeke's final moments painted him as more sympathetic than he was. Such is the case with Floch, and the way Jean reacted to his death. All those characters were redeemed in the audience's eyes without facing any substantial accountability.

I also have a huge issue with the false equivalences that were supposed to show us how morally grey everyone and everything is.

-> The link to the post in the screenshot

Jean and Connie and the Scouts that attacked Liberio aren't just wrongfully presented as something they're not, they're also used as tools to rationalize what Reiner and co have done to them throughout most of the series. Jean briefly does that with what Reiner did to Marco before he punches him to a pulp. Then again with the "we're the same" bs. Then again with implying Reiner is one of them as a Scout. There's also no real tension between the warriors and the Paradis side of the alliance. What the warriors did to Paradis is truly horrific, so their only way for redemption is through their victims.

The mistake that most people do when they interpret their relationship or the characters themselves is to only look at the characters' in-story intent. But there's also this thing called the author's intent that overrides everything. Sometimes, you cannot separate an author from their work. Especially when it comes to the final 12 chapters, where the quality of the writing is in the sewer.

But there's actually another way through which these characters were redeemed: the introduction of a much greater evil and a much horrific event that makes everything else pale in comparison. The main conflict of the story was revealed to have always been Eldians vs Eldians. But that wasn't always the case. Not until isayama retconned Eren, and then treated him the same way he treated the warriors. Eren's friends refused to condemn his actions, and instead repeatedly rationalized, then absolved and thanked him for what he did. It doesn't matter that they still did what was right in the end, that Mikasa killed him, or that Armin admitted they're both going to hell for the atrocities they've individually committed. In the anime. Which came out almost 3 years after the release of chapter 139+the extras and the massive backlash that followed. Let's not forget how that conversation went in the manga:

None of that matters because there's a dissonance between their actions & words and their attitude. isayama couldn't condemn any of his genocidal characters in a way that matters, in a way that would leave no room for moral ambiguity. But perhaps the greatest injustice isayama has committed to his own characters, story and messages was to retcon Eren, the character that was at the center of a message as powerful as the idea that we're all special because we're simply born in this world, into a genocidal maniac that cared about no one and nothing (if he actually cared about his friends, he wouldn't have put them through living hell, not when he actually had the power to prevent it, and if he actually cared about his mother, he wouldn't have killed her) through one of the worst executions of the time travel trope I've ever seen.

Snk is not a story that condemns fascism, let a lone a "masterpiece" when it comes to social or political themes, because it's centralized on justifying the oppression of the Eldians and making it an integral part of the plot. Not only are the Eldians an obvious metaphor for Jews, which is antisemitic on its own given how it's executed, but isayama ends up making them truly horrific because he takes real world antisemitic conspiracies and turns them into factual realities in his own story, all while seemingly acknowledging that Jews have been oppressed and the victims of the worst genocide in history. Moreover, the Eldians also seem to be ideologically inspired by imperial Japan, Paradis in particular. As @ shangyang points out in their essay, we shouldn't forget the fact that this is a manga authored by a Japanese man, nor that Japan has its own history with fascism. (Plesse don't skip any of the posts linked here)

All that being said, isayama's true intent is more than clear: violence is praised because his characters were written so to see violence as their only option, and the fascist mentality of eternal warfare as the status quo. Pacifism is not presented as an option. There's no nuance, only extremism. Even the cycle of hatred at the very end only serves as proof that the intent of the story is to present an extremely narrow worldview in which the human species is only capable of perpetual warmongering, hatred, destruction, and death. Which is wrong and is the very opposite of what I'd call "nuance", imo. And the reason this bothers me so much is because snk and other "morally grey" works alike aren't portraying evil people as just that, people, and evil as something that exists in all of us - no, what they're doing is making the unlikeable likeable, the unjustifiable justifiable, and they're making people sympathetic towards things they shouldn't be sympathizing. Such narratives are banalizing evil (if I had a nickel for how many posts I've seen justifying what Magath did or outright saying they love the guy, well I'd have a lot of nickels) and depreciating good (lots of nickels for all the posts I've seen bashing the Scouts). Such narratives serve as propaganda for the things they claim to condemn.

The result is that such stories beget ignorance, and ignorance is a fertile ground, whether is the case of people who are only interested in shipping and blorbofication, or the people who are not properly educated to know what they're dealing with.

And there's a reason actual fascists and neonazi are circling the series like flies, identifying with the yeagerists, and saying that "Eren was right". They're not taking control of the narrative, they're seeing it for what it really is. The progression of Eren's character arc, his motivations, the retcons, the conclusion of the story, Ymir's motivation, the undeserved redemptions, the characters not behaving in ways they should based on their history, none of those things make sense because they don't have to make sense. They're only pretexts meant to mask the actual intent of the story. The cycle of hatred didn't end because the rumbling truly failed. Because "the enemy" (the people outside Paradis, all of them, as Eren made it very clear) wasn't completely obliterated. Because as long as there's "the enemy", there can't be peace. Fascists have a complex relationship with war. They don’t like it, but "the enemy" is always forcing their hand. The rumbling was meant to succeed.

This is not a cautionary tale for anti-fascists.

Snk is a cautionary tale for fascists.

Now recontextualize all of that in present-day fascist politics, and see where it takes you. But ofc, this is only my interpretation, based exclusively on the story itself.

[watchyourmouthorgetslapped]

Spoilers for Outer Banks Season 4

I will never forgive the writers for how they butchered Pope's character arc this season. He is my favorite character and I relate to him so much as a Black person who was expected to be the perfect student and child. I always thought he had the best character development out of all the pogues (you can't tell me s1 Pope and s4, part 1 Pope are the same person). However, part 2 was literal character regression. He threw away his college plans just to be a felon and murderer (the only person I would have been ok with him killing is Rafe). It's like after everything he's been though (being hate-crimed by a cokehead, his family's inheritance being stolen, etc.), he still couldn't catch a break. Also the fact that they dropped the ball on bisexual Pope will forever piss me off because that could have been great Black queer representation that we usually don't see in mainstream media. He's so queer-coded to me and I don't care he deserved to be in a bisexual love triangle between a pretty Black girl (Cleo) and a cute white boy (JJ).

Cleo's character arc this season was also lackluster. We still don't know much about her backstory and the revenge for Terrance plot line was half-baked. Cleo didn't even get to kill Lightner. I thought that Cleo was going to let the revenge consume her to the point where she distances herself from Pope and the rest of the pogues (they didn't even try to support her like they should have imo). Instead the so called "distance" (because that shit only lasted 5 minutes) was because Pope was being forced to sign up for the marines. Like why do the female characters' plot lines always have to revolve around their male love interests? (I also hated that plot because it threw away Heyward and Pope's development as father and son).

Pope and Cleo as a couple were great because their chemistry is on point, but their individual character arcs suffered. Which is why I always say if you're going to have Black characters in your media, hire Black writers!