#s13 was a perfectly fine ending

[loveydive]

am i insane enough to rewatch rvb in the year of our lord 2025

[minamotoz]

craziest part about degrassi s13 is how they try to fucking gaslight the viewers into believing maya and zig were anything other than friends with weird romantic tension that never went anywhere in s11-12

[sortasirius]

Any ideas on Claire (maybe w/Kaia) and Jack post finale interaction as TFW kids? They would be the most chaotic duo/trio, remembering what a bamf Claire is, how much Jack enjoyed his time with those teens in s14 (he really needs friends asap!!) and how he bonded w/Kaia in s13/15 Also! maybe a prompt, them trying to delicately ask Sam or even Jody about wtf is destiel’s status (before those two idiots get together) and Sam/Jody getting super awkward but actually explaining some of it? Xx

My chaos children, I love them, I sorta made this about everyone in wayward bc I desperately miss those ladies and will never get over the injustice of them not having their own show.

These were so fun to do!!!

After they beat Chuck, Jack ends up going to Jody while Sam/Eileen and Dean/Cas just...take some time for each other and themselves.

Jack knows Kaia, obviously, but he’s accepted by all the ladies immediately.  Donna especially adores him.

Claire teaches Jack how to throw knives, and he accidentally breaks two of Jody’s windows before Jody finds them an abandoned field to throw projectiles in

Jack tells Claire that she reminds him of Dean.  Claire rolls her eyes but swells with pride.

Claire also makes Jack tell her everything about Cas, about what kind of dad he was to Jack, what she learned from him.  Jack tells her everything and more, he tells her how much Cas loves her.

Jack doesn’t really like to go hunting anymore, so he stays home with Alex and Patience when the others go hunting, they teach him how to make a really good mac and cheese and teach him the difference between curry and cinnamon (they almost learn that the hard way when making an apple pie)

Kaia and Claire want to take Jack everywhere, because he’s never really been able to just be a kid, so they end up spending a lot of time skipping rocks at a creek by Jody’s house.  Jack learns to talk to them openly about just about everything, and it helps Kaia open up to someone other than Claire too.

They all spend Friday nights watching movies, Jack asks a lot of questions

Kaia and Jack talk about the different worlds they’ve seen, and are able to help heal each other’s traumas

Jack, in classic Jack fashion, is also the one who asks blatantly about Claire and Kaia.  Claire turns beet red and Kaia looks away immediately, but it’s only a few days later that they start holding hands.  Jody thanks Jack later, he doesn’t really understand why

When Sam or Dean or Cas check in on him, Jack talks their ears off about all the things they did that day, from the very mundane window cleaning to the clearing out of a vamp’s nest and learning how to use Donna’s flamethrower.

Jack finds a second family in Sioux Falls

Pairings: Claire/Kaia, Dean/Cas

Words: 1219

Claire Novak is no idiot.  She may have been a little oblivious about how Kaia had felt about her at first.  Look, she had just been carrying around a lot of guilt and thought Kaia would hate her for leaving her, it’s perfectly natural.  But she’s gotten better about seeing things that are right in front of her, especially since she and Kaia had been, well, dating, for nearly two months. She turns all mushy every time she thinks about that.

Point is, Claire can tell something is going on with Dean, and it has something to do with Cas.  But everytime she asks him about it, Dean just huffs and rolls his eyes, tells her it’s nothing or that she’s seeing things.  Even Cas is no help, training his eyes to the ground and asking her not to talk about it.

Claire has had just about enough of the weird energy being created.  Hell, they all have.  Patience and Alex said to leave it alone, that Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack were only visiting for a few days, checking in on Kaia after everything, bringing Jack by to meet everyone, but Claire has never been one to just roll over when presented with a problem, so she’s going to get to the bottom of it, even if Dean and Cas themselves are no help.

“Hey Jack,” Claire sits down heavily next to him on the porch swing in the back, where he’s watching the hummingbirds fight over the sugar water in Donna’s feeder.  Kaia trails behind her, leaning against the doorframe leading into the house.  She didn’t particularly understand why Claire was so…obsessed with finding out what was going on, but they were in it together now. (Again, it makes Claire feel mushy).

“Hello!” Jack is a little weird, but a good weird. He doesn’t get any of the movie references Claire makes but understands all of Dean’s, which is a travesty, Dean has terrible taste in movies, but he’s got a kind, open face and reminds Claire of Cas quite a bit, so she likes him.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Jack is still watching the hummingbirds, but Claire assumes he’s listening, so she just dives right in.

“What’s up with Cas and Dean?”Jack turns back to her, looking a little confused.

“What do you mean?”

“They seem, um, weird.  When they’re together.”

“Oh that,” Jack turns back to his birds again, “They’re always like that.  It’s getting worse, but they ignore me when I ask about it.”

Claire slumps.  Dammit.  Back to square one.

“Claire,” Kaia grabs her hand as they head to their next target.  Claire stops immediately.  She still can’t get over the fact that Kaia is here, with her, and still likes her apparently, even though she left her for dead in the Bad Place.

“Yeah?” she gives Kaia a smile, which is returned with interest.  Claire’s heart is going to burst out of her chest, just watch.

“What are we doing?  Shouldn’t they figure out their own stuff?”

“Ugh, as if they ever would.  I get that they’re older than us.  In Cas’ case like, thousands of years older than us, but if we don’t figure this out and fix it, they never will.”

Kaia sighs, leaning in to kiss her.  Man, Claire was never going to get enough of this.

“Fine,” she smiles again, “Lead the way.”

Jody is working in the garage on a weapons project for Donna, something about powering up the flamethrower or something?

“Hey Jody,” Claire gives her the smile that will tip Jody off immediately that she wants something, but there’s no time to waste here, Dean, Cas, Sam, and Jack are only here through tomorrow.

“Hey girls, what’s up?” Jody turns to face them, “Oh boy, what do you want?”

Kaia laughs.

“Nothing much, just wanted to know if you know what’s going on with Dean and Cas.”

“Dean and Cas?” Sam’s voice comes from the open garage door and he appears, carrying a box of books for Patience. Unsurprisingly, they were essentially best friends now.

“Hey Sam,” Claire puts on her best smile again and Jody sighs loudly, not that it would stop her, “Yeah, they’re just acting weird around each other.  We, well I wanted to know what’s going on.”

Sam’s face whitens by degrees, and he looks from Claire, to Kaia, to Jody, who just shrugs.

“Uh…”

“Don’t tell me you don’t know, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.  Okay, that’s a stupid analogy, but you know what I mean.”

“I don’t know anything…” Sam hedges, but that is not going to be good enough for Claire today.

“But you know something,” Kaia interjects, and now Sam knows he’s outnumbered, because Jody is looking at him with as much interest as Claire and Kaia are.

“Just that.  Well, ugh,” Sam is swaying from foot to foot, like a deer about to bolt, “Even I don’t know what’s happening but…things are escalating.  Stuff that was only simmering below the surface before is now boiling.  They don’t say anything, but um, I think there’s something there.”

Claire grins.

“Great, that’s all I needed.”

“You did not hear this from me.”

“Sure sure.”

Sam makes his escape before they can ask him any more uncomfortable questions.  Claire and Kaia high five as Jody laughs.

“Don’t make them too uncomfortable,” she warns, turning back to her workbench and flamethrower, “They’re our guests.”

“Come on Jody,” Claire grabs Kaia’s hand again, “It’s Dean.”

“So,” Claire leans against the Impala as Dean works under the hood.  She knows him well enough to know that that would put him in a good mood.

“So?”

“When are you gonna make a move on Cas?”

Dean bangs his head on the hood of the car.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Dean stares at Claire, who stares right back, listening to Kaia, Patience, and Alex laugh from the living room window.  Dean’s eyes snap to the sound and then back to Claire, then up and down the empty street.  His ears are turning redder by the second.  She knows she has him.

“Yeah I heard you I guess.  Just don’t understand where the hell this is coming from.”

“You’re not exactly subtle,” Claire points out, as Dean’s blush deepens, “Also you two have been acting weird since you got here.  So me and Kaia did some reconnaissance.”

Dean looks at her with a set in his mouth, like he’s ready to argue.  Claire just grins at him.

“Reconnaissance?”

“We asked Jack, and then Jody, and then Sam about it.”

Dean slides a hand down his face.  It seems like he’s admitting defeat.  A good thing.

“Listen it, it’s nothing.  We’ve just got our own crap to work through, and we’ll work through that crap, and then get back to normal.”

“Or you could make a move on him.”

“Claire.”

“Dean.”

“Why do you care, anyway?”

“Because stupid, I care about you and I care about him. And if this will get you out of your weirdness then I’m all for it.”

Dean looks into the engine block of the Impala, sighs, and then slams the hood shut.

“Fine.  Fine. But if this doesn’t work, I’m melting down your knife.”

Claire grins and runs off to find Kaia. Mission accomplished.

[gabrielbigbang]

Posting Date: March 15  

AUTHORS: @datajana​ and @easypeasybreezy​

ARTIST: @samshine-and-lollipops​

STORY TITLE: A Reason to Stay

BANG SIZE: MegaBang (45k+)

RATING: Explicit

SHIPS: Gabriel/Roger (Driven), past Roger/Original Female Character, past Gabriel/Original Female Characters, past Roger/Original Male Character

TAGS: NO MCD, Canon divergent post s13 supernatural, post canon Driven, POV’s: Gabriel and Roger and Emerson and demon, crossover/portals, angst, past trauma and torture, nightmares, PTSD, pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, Roger likes the finer things in life, Sugar Daddy!Roger, crack humor, dark themes, possession, Gabriel's wings are hurt, blizzards, snow, and sleet, hotel rooms, hot tub, there was only one bed!, misunderstandings from lack of communication, nudity, smut tags: masturbation, anal fingering, mutual handjobs, car sex, road head, blow jobs, come eating, grace as lube, lube, anal sex, barebacking 

SUMMARY: After being brutally stabbed by the alternate reality version of Michael and dying, Gabriel is forcefully pulled from the Empty through a portal into a different universe. Low on grace, he meets up with Roger, who has just finished closing the portal with Emerson. Though it takes a bit of convincing, Roger eventually agrees to help Gabriel get back to his own universe. However, Roger soon finds out that he has a major problem of his own - the curse hasn’t been lifted, he’s failed and the world is going to end because of him. Feeling sympathy towards Roger, Gabriel offers to help, and circumstances lead them on a road trip to Roger’s home in New York. On the way, Roger and Gabriel grow closer as they learn more about each other - their pasts, their traumas, who they really are - and Gabriel finds it harder to leave, and Roger finds it harder to let him go. In the end, the final decision will be made for them by the cause for all their worries: the big bad demon (for lack of a better term) that waits for them near Roger’s childhood home...

Excerpt below the cut...

EXCERPT: Gabriel checked his phone every five minutes. The weather app he’d downloaded showed no change in the forecast from earlier. The thickening clouds in the sky were proof of it as well.

He had no idea what he could say to Roger to make him turn around. For some reason, the human was angry at him. Well, he was a bit miffed himself! He’d blocked the demon from Roger’s dreams, listened to his worries. He was starting to think of him as a friend.

Maybe...Maybe even—

Gabriel sat forward abruptly and stared out the windshield as big, fat flakes of snow appeared in the vehicle’s wake. He darted his eyes about the landscape, seeking out a place where they could pull over for cover. 

“Gabriel, it’s not too far to the next town. I’ll stop there, OK?” Roger said, reducing speed. Gabriel turned to him, his lips thinning to a straight line. “It’s falling slowly, so it shouldn’t get too—”

“Roger!” Gabriel lifted his phone and pointed at it. “It’s supposed to turn to sleet! The roads are going to be impossible to drive on! Not to mention that the passes are gonna be full of snow and ice!”

Roger’s face paled. “If we can get to an exit before then—” His and Gabriel’s eyes widened at the sound of small ice pellets hitting the windshield. “Well, I guess not.”

“Dammit, Roger…” Gabriel moaned. He knew this would happen, and there was absolutely nowhere for them to find shelter. The open fields they were surrounded by had some trees, but that wouldn’t do them any good. They’d have to stay in the car and hope it would keep them warm until the storm blew over.

“We need to pull over and park,” Gabriel said. He unlocked his phone to check the weather again. “The temperature is going to drop some more, so all this sleet is going to turn completely to ice. We won’t be moving for a while after that.”

Roger cursed, slowing down the rental’s speed even more than he had before. “Alright. But where? There’s nothing!”

“We don’t have a choice, Roger. We can’t go forward, and we can’t go back. We just have to stop where we are,” Gabriel said.

“I know that!�� Roger snapped. “But there’s nowhere we can park except on the shoulder, and we won’t have protection!”

“You don’t have to yell.”

“I’m not—”

“You know what, Roger?” He’d had enough. “We’re in this predicament because you wouldn’t listen to me. Well, guess what? You’re gonna listen to what I say now. We need to—”

Roger laughed bitterly. “Oh! So now you’re gonna talk?”

Gabriel paused. “What?”

“Don’t act dumb, Gabriel. You know what.” Roger moved his eyes to the side of the road. “Where do you want to stop?”

Narrowing his eyes, Gabriel said, “No, this has been going on all morning. We’re going to talk about it now.”

“No. And like you said, we need to stop, even though you taught me how to drive perfectly in any and all weather.” Roger gave him a scathing glance. “Or so you claim, anyway.”

Oh, so that’s how he wanted to play? Fine. “Maybe your human brain couldn’t absorb it all. It was already apparent that it had difficulties, not even knowing what a parking brake was.”

Roger smirked. “Well this human is the one who has been taking care of your ass ever since you got here. Who bought you the clothes you’re wearing? Who has kept you from going hungry and sleeping on the streets?” He pointed to himself. “Me, that’s who!”

“I never asked you to!”

“As far as you’re concerned, all I’m good for is getting you back to your universe,” Roger said bitterly.

Gabriel swallowed. That...That hurt a little. “I’m helping you, aren’t I?”

“Looks to me like I’m helping you more than you’re helping me!” Roger retorted.

“What exactly is it with you anyway, Roger?” Gabriel said, his hurt turning back to anger and fueling it. If Roger wanted to hit below the belt, then he would too, dammit. “And what's with that fake-ass ‘I’m so brave’ front you use? We all know that you’re scared, that it’s an act."

Roger punched a hand on the dashboard then with absolute calm pulled the SUV to the shoulder of the road. He put it into park and killed the engine before turning to Gabriel. "Oh, that's hilarious,” he said, glaring daggers at him. “You are such a fucking hypocrite, Gabriel. Don't think that I haven't noticed how you use cheesy, two-bit humor to deflect what you don't want to talk about!"

Gabriel’s ire went nearly through the roof. No one had spoken to him like that since Dean Winchester. But it hadn’t cut as bad.

Holding Roger’s burning gaze, Gabriel said the first thing that came to his mind. 

“Fuck. You.”

[amwritingmeta]

End of S15 Spec: Is Cas Returning to Heaven?

My dearlings, my sweetlings, my buttery, Scottish shortbreads -

We’re in times of great turmoil right now and my only way to relax myself out of the need to check my Twitter feed every other minute and retweet all the inspiring or infuriating or educational stuff that’s coming at me left, right and centre, is to write. I started working on this piece of spec a little while back, after talking to @waywardliliana (hey girl hey) and last week I felt inspired to start writing this spec-meta-hopes-and-wishes-whathaveyou, so here we are.

This spec was actually brought on by Liliana telling me a prevailing theory in fandom right now (or a few weeks back) which is that Cas is going to die in 15x18. 

As far as I understand it from Liliana, this theory is based on the fact that Jensen and Misha were talking at VegasCon about having shot a heavy scene just the two of them (and quite possibly with Alex) before heading off to the con, and this scene is taking place sometime during 15x18.

That’s literally all I know, but that’s what I’m basing this spec on: something heavy happening between Dean and Cas in 15x18 as per “confirmed” by the actors themselves.

So, off the cuff: I don’t think Cas is going to die. 

Mostly due to narrative reasons, because I can’t see how him dying would service the story they’ve built for him this season whatsoever (let’s not forget about his deal with the Empty) (and I’ll dig deeper into that) nor how it would play into his individual arc as a whole, but also because it’s too repetitive. 

We’ve seen him die an angel death, we don’t need to see it again, nor would it be as impactful as Cas’ death at the end of S12 (and beginning of S7) where both instances can be looked at as serving to push Dean into a state of grief, where we got the chance to feel the loss and absence of Cas through how it affected Dean. Yeah? (yes!)

It’s always been beautifully handled, to be honest. Dean losing faith (and most starkly his faith in himself) when losing Cas. It happened in the S7 greif arc, and it happened in an even more condensed and pointed way in S13.

Because in S13, unlike in S7, Dean is no longer forcing a smile and pretending he’s okay. Instead, he’s wearing his anger like the armour it is, while telling Sam he’s fine, which Sam sees through very easily, and we do too, because of course he’s not fine. Until we finally get Dean admiting he needs Sam to keep the faith, because right now Dean can’t believe in a damn thing.

*mh mh good*

(it even happened to some extent in S15 after Cas left) (though then he was more in the I don’t give a fuck anymore mood) (once Cas comes back who is it that suddenly cracks the case of how to fight God wide open?) (yup) (our Dean that’s who)

So what would Cas dying bring to Dean’s individual arc this time around? 

What would Cas dying mean for Cas’ individual arc? 

Cas has died specifically to underpin Dean’s progression (or rather, to show us where that progression needs to take him) (and to give us a gorgeous underlining of how Cas is Dean’s happiness because of Dean’s attitude change when Cas comes back in S13) (hey-oh!) and Cas has died specifically to allow for his own rebirth, to push him into a new stage in his own progression toward self-actualisation, so killing him at the end of his journey would mean… he ends up in the Empty?

But the tying up of the dangling loose end that is Cas’ deal with the Empty needs to be linked directly to Cas giving himself permission to be happy.

I will dig deeper into this, but I doubt we’re getting him permitting himself to be happy in 15x18, because looking at this show’s narrative structure as it’s always been used before: either this moment needs to be linked back to his individual arc and his growing sense of identity, or it needs to be tied to Dean (because no enormous turning point for either character happens without it affecting the other) and neither of these are, to me, entirely viable.

That said, I mostly don’t see Cas ever going back to the Empty based in what I see the Empty as symbolically representative of, which is Cas’ Shadow, his unconscious, and Cas returning to its dwelling is a symbolical statement of defeat. He can’t fight the Empty, he can’t destroy the Empty, not while he is in the place where the Empty has the upper hand completely. Cas ending up in the Empty means his Shadow has won, there will be no integration, no self-actualisation, and Cas’ journey ends on a tragic note indeed. 

Is that a fair reward for someone who has just overcome his fear of happiness? Because when the Empty shows to claim Cas, we’ll know that this is exactly what has happened, and it’s an incredibly important moment for Cas’ progression, signaling self-acceptance and self-love, daring to allow himself to feel that happiness, and, or so I would hope, doing so in clear defiance of the Empty’s lingering threat. 

Because Cas feeling that strong in himself that he actually permits himself the happiness of the moment, knowing full well that it means the Empty will show, and feeling ready to face it head on (I mean, I have a loophole in mind, but I’ll get to that), it would be gigantically symbolic of how he’s crossing that threshold he’s been stood on for so long, no longer letting any of his fears rule him, no longer feeling any doubt or mistrust in himself.

*gah*

Cas actually being claimed right after his happiest moment and ending up in the Empty is not a fair reward, and Cas will not be narratively punished for reaching the climax of his progression. 

So, no, I simply do not believe he’s set to die.

More on the Empty and all that happiness goodness as we go along.

Now, the following thoughts are based in my reading of this narrative, so let’s proceed with caution and I’m handing out salt for you to sprinkle all over this piece of pure speculation. Sprinkle it at will, please!

Let’s begin with my main speculation for the final few episodes of S15, which is:

Cas’ powers are fully restored and he goes back to Heaven.

How would this happen? I would suggest that, as we’re witnessing Jack begin to come into his full power (he’s already levelled up from archangel), growing ever more sure of himself in the process, we may get to witness the full extent and wonder of that power, and what better way to showcase the budding culmination of them, than through Jack mending Cas’ broken wings? 

Of course, this is mere conjecture. There are a multitude of ways that Cas might end up powered up. Even God could play a role. Suggesting Jack is the source of this transformation is merely to create a foundation for the scenario, and it’s also fitting, as Jack has served to bring Cas a great deal of faith in his own capabilities, so Jack would serve well to give Cas the final push toward self-realisation, and Cas may very well need to remember what being whole as an angel feels like, to gain perspective on how to answer the ever-lingering questions of who he is and who he wants to be.

The biggest questions on the table for me, if this were to happen, are: 

Would we get a heartfelt goodbye between Dean and Cas in 15x18 (heavy stuff), where their respective role in the other’s growth comes to a conclusion, and they take the lessons learned and carry on alone, but fulfilled, and grateful for having known each other, leading to a series ending where Cas stays in Heaven? 

Or—>

Would we get to witness that heartfelt goodbye between Dean and Cas, but then, instead of staying in Heaven, would we get Cas, fully powered, gain the perspective he needs of who he truly is and who he wants to be, leading to a series ending where Cas chooses to become human, returning to Earth and all the shenanigans of a hunter life?

And finally —>

Is there a middle ground here?

There’s an old narrative question that comes to mind, posed to Cas in S9 (you know of which I speak), which is an articulation of Castiel’s deepest internal conflict, serving as motor for the character journey he’s pushed onto through meeting, and saving, Dean Winchester.

Two years ago I wrote an essay based around this question, and now, at the very end, I’m going to pose it again, and build the following meta analysis and speculation around what my answers to the above questions are, and why. 

Angel or Man?

One straightforward question.

And yet, Cas’ identity crisis has been with him from the very start of S4, and this question has been at the back of his mind, grating away, causing confusion and erroding his sense of self, because he’s loyal to everyone but himself (perfectly mirroring Dean) and that dual loyalty - Heaven and Dean (humanity) - has always been the baseline for why he can’t answer this straightforward question for himself.

Since S13, when he got himself out of the clutches of the Empty and chose to return to Earth, there’s been, to my mind, a heavy subtextual hinting at Cas having made an actual and very real choice of where he wants to belong - no longer waiting to be told he belongs there, the way he’s shown to be throughout S12 - and this real choice of where he wants to belong comes after we’ve gotten to witness his declaration of love towards Dean and the Winchesters, Cas telling them they’re his family in 12x12, so it fits nicely with his internal progression.

It fits especially nicely when considering the Empty as a symbolic representative of Cas’ Shadow (Carl Jung for the win).

Because Cas standing up to his unconscious fears and telling them to release him makes a double underlining for why Cas, from 13x04 and onward, has been shown to be growing into his sense of belonging, leading to him finding clarity of where to draw the line for himself, without worrying about outside opinion; this moving into a sense of real self-worth reaching a culmination in him standing up for himself to Dean in 15x03.

In fact, Cas standing up for himself was an enormous internal turning point for him, and brought on an enormous internal turning point for Dean, which may hopefully lead to clarity for him as well, and healing, as Cas putting his foot down forced Dean to finally be the one to name the feeling that usually overrides everything else: his anger.

(many secondary characters have tried to bring this awareness as they’ve pointed this out to him) (dark!Kaia especially) (but it took Cas’ righteous anger and distancing for Dean to finally be forced into a position to admit it to himself) (and through it, admit his lack of control over it) (huuuuge step in his movement toward much needed self-insight) (being honest with yourself is the first step!)

*gah*

Now, if Cas has been shown to choose where he wants to belong, for himself: Earth; then throughout S13 and into S14 he was still shown to be heavily reliant on his core trait of loyalty in order to have a pronounced direction, because, to me, his purpose throughout these two seasons leading into S15 still needed to be dictated by where he could apply his sense of duty.

Once he returned from the Empty, it was made perfectly clear that his sense of duty had gone from Heaven, to Humanity. 

Not only is this shown through how Cas states, more than once, that he willed himself back to Earth in order to fulfull his promise to Kelly Kline and protect her son, but it’s also given to us in how he uses his angelic powers for torture, once of his own accord, and then (horrifyingly) under the orders of Dean: Cas no longer serves Heaven, he serves Man. (more specifically Dean)

However horrifying - because he shouldn’t be taking orders at all, and he shouldn’t use his powers as a weapon like that - this shift is necessary to underline Cas’ evolving relationship with Heaven, which had its first nail driven into its coffin with Naomi, when she forced Cas to slaughter all those Deans, and its final nail given to us through Cas killing Duma, Cas showing us that he is now refusing to allow Heaven to exact any authority over him and, intriguingly enough for where we’re at now, rather choosing to deplete the needed Heavenly power source in order to kill a would-be oppressor, rather than see Heaven fall back into its previous totalitarian mode of regime.

Cas learning lessons in humanity and wanting to take them to Heaven to fix his home has been part of his arc since the end of S5, to rather disastrous effect, since he was ill-equipped to properly understand and incorporate lessons only half-learned.

Through him breaking away from Dean and leaving the bunker in 15x03, Cas showed independence in a way he never has before. 

Of course, he’s always been the one to leave at a moment’s notice or disappear without so much as a by-your-leave, but this was a confrontation, tied directly to Dean’s inability to listen and to forgive. 

It’s Cas refusing to be taken for granted, and this shows us how the biggest lesson the narrative has been trying to teach him is finally beginning to take proper hold, because refusing to be taken for granted means that his self-worth is at a point where he’s able to expect more for himself, because he knows he deserves better.

And, or so this meta writer would argue, because he knows Dean is better than how he’s behaving, and Cas is fed up with enabling Dean’s self-righteousness. *headcanon*

So, Cas is now equipped with a lot of the tools needed to bring actual balance to Heaven, to bring strong, good leadership that doesn’t look at human beings as something to scrape off the sole of their shoe. He has a stronger understanding of why humans human, and a sense of compassion that doesn’t cause doubt or confusion, but leaves him secure in his own viewpoint.

That said, we still have him identifying himself as a “thing” in the latter part of S14, which is something that leaves us without the actual answer to the above question, because even towards the end of S14 we have Cas unable to label himself as either or.

In fact, I would say that labeling himself a “thing” alongside Jack - a nephilim who is of Heaven, Earth and Hell - speaks to some amount of identity confusion. 

So then. 

Let’s ponder the final episodes - keeping in mind we’re just having some fun speculating - and consider the possibilities surrounding the final destination of Cas’ character journey, as well as how the possible outcomes affect his relationship with Dean. 

Castiel, Angel of the Lord

Scenario the First —> Cas’ powers are fully restored and…

We get a heartfelt goodbye between Dean and Cas in 15x18 (heavy stuff), where their respective role in the other’s growth comes to a conclusion, and they take the lessons learned and carry on alone, but fulfilled, and grateful for having known each other, leading to a series ending where Cas stays in Heaven.

I mean, it’s emotionally neat, to be honest, because if we leave Destiel to the side and look at the plain text, Dean and Cas’ bond can be tied to their respective individual journeys through how Cas represents Faith to Dean, and Dean represents Humanity to Cas.

They are each other’s most repressed sides manifested, and they are an externalisation of each other’s internal compass, pointing them to the internal work they need to do to be able to reach self-actualisation through acknowledging, accepting and embracing what the other represents to them.

For Dean, it’s learning to have faith in himself, to trust, and in so doing, letting go of his need for control, tied directly to that anger of his.

For Cas, it’s facing and fully accepting the innate humanity he’s always displayed, trusting in it and having no reason to question, doubt or fear it.

So if we get a series ending where Dean is finally having pronounced faith (in himself, not in a higher power) (which is why God as the Big Bad is especially fitting like omfg), and this faith allowing him to tap into his sense of trust (in others rather than himself, but also this extended trust being possible thanks to his newfound trust in himself) and this sense of trust brings about some much needed inner peace, then Cas’ role in Dean’s arc has been fulfilled. 

And if we have Cas bringing his accrued understanding and internalised humanity (trusting that his sense of compassion is a strength, not a weakness) back to Heaven in order to bring about actual balance and finally mending what he himself has played a large part in breaking apart, then that would fit with Cas’ overall arc and the lessons Dean, as a role model, was meant to teach will be implemented. 

Neat.

Except.

Except for the fact that, if Cas goes fully-fledged angel, returns to Heaven and the series ends on him staying there, these three narratively unsatisfactory points hold true:

He will still, when dead, be bound for the Empty

He will be giving up his family

He will, end of the day, be embracing duty over freedom

Yeah, we need to talk about these three unsatisfactory points, fam.

1. The Empty

Ah, yes, here we go. 

The lay of the land is that Cas made a deal with the Empty to save Jack. I wrote a long meta on this so I won’t go into too much detail, save to say that it’s a deal that left Cas promised to the Empty, with the twist that the Empty won’t claim Cas before he gives himself permission to be happy.

Yeah. Ouch much?

I’ve already argued my point for why I doubt Cas will die, but what would happen in a scenario where Cas returns to Heaven fully-fledged, meant to remain there for the rest of his… existence?

I would suppose there would needs be a reckoning between the Empty and Cas before Cas commits to this return, because since they planted the Empty lording its deal with Cas over Cas’ head as recently as 15x13, I have a hard time seeing the writers solving this plot point with anything less than us seeing Cas relaxing into a moment of happiness-permission.

That said, let’s say they do. Let’s say there’s a flick-of-the-wrist solution. I don’t think there will be, but for the sake of argument. And by flick-of-the-wrist I mean we get the Empty showing up in a moment where Cas is truly happy, but the Empty’s appearance doesn’t hold sway thanks to some external force: Jack or Death herself, rather than an internal triumph linked entirely to his individual arc, or in any way linked back to Dean. 

(and though some may argue against the love story being canonically viable) (though I’d argue that it is) (the fact that Dean and Cas share a profound bond and a different dynamic to Sam and Cas, and even Dean and Sam, is canonically established) (through both grief!arcs for Dean) (and through Cas choosing to leave in S15 having everything to do with Dean and absolutely nothing to do with Sam)

Solving the deal with the Empty is fairly easily done, even though the flick-of-the-wrist solution won’t be as satisfactory for most of us who know Cas and root for him, and even if the flick-of-the-wrist moment could conceivably come with someone powerful enough (like Jack or even Death, who, though she won’t do hands on interference, seems to have made a promise to the Empty that it will get to go back to sleep once all is said and done) (but, as we know, Billie speaks in riddles), despite the viable characters possibly powerful enough to destroy the Empty, actually destroying it immediately feels, to me, like too big of a cop out and I doubt the writers would even consider it. 

Again, this is very much based in my reading of the Empty as Cas’ Shadow, and Cas’ Shadow shouldn’t be destroyed. 

For it all to symbolically line up, the Empty should be symbolically integrated. 

(the way Michael - Dean’s Shadow representative - wasn’t destroyed, but instead had his essence swallowed down by Jack, becoming a part of him instead, and all that symbolic toxic masculinity poison inside Jack leading to all sorts of narrative repercussions, needing to be levelled out by Jack growing enough to retrieve his soul and return his own internal equilibrium) (which, in turn, is highly symbolic on so many levels) (but enough digression)

Based on this, once the battles are won and God has been defeated, the Empty would remain. So even though the deal is dealt with through whatever means it’s dealt with: that dark, vast, nothing would be the place where angels who die go to suffer a restless, horrific sleep.

For eternity. 

And that’s my first argument for why I personally do not want Cas to remain an angel past the conclusion of the show: the Empty looms as victor and will eventually get to claim Cas, even if Cas gets out of the deal he’s made.

I mean, how likely is it that Cas doesn’t face death at some point, really? He’s pretty prone to dying, especially dying for what he believes to be right. 

Digression into The Middle Ground as it should be tied in here:

The Middle Ground

Scenario the Third —> 

Is there a middle ground here?

Now, here’s a bit of a rub, because way I see it, exploring if there’s a possibility of Cas ending up neither fully-fledged nor human needs to be based in the assumption that Cas isn’t getting his powers back at all.

Which means that, in this middle ground scenario, whatever exchange that occurs between Dean and Cas in 15x18 has nothing to do with them. 

For example, the heavy scene that Jensen and Misha were talking about Dean and Cas suffering through could have to do with Jack, though if something terrible is going to happen to Jack or if Jack is going to sacrifice himself for the greater good, I have a hard time seeing Sam not being present.

However, for arguments sake…

In this scenario, where Cas doesn’t power up, we should thirdly assume that we’re left with there being no reason for Cas to choose a human life either. 

He simply remains in the same shape and form in which he currently is. 

The same shape and form that he’s held since S9, when he suited back up after the human!Cas arc and readied himself for war, necessarily and formidably and to his emotional detriment for many years as it brought on his darkest arc (Lucifer possession). 

This choice was a narrative necessity, because human!Cas was already growing into his own skin by 9x09, and it’s made perfectly clear why Cas had to go through it all, because he had to face his fear of being useless without his powers, and unaccepted as an equal and nothing more than expendable with them.

So, would the middle ground scenario - keeping him as is, with all the character progression intact and him, clearly, set to grow and evolve beyond the series’ ending - be narratively satisfactory?

And by narratively satisfactory I mean that this scenario:

ties up loose ends

justifies the obstacles Cas has had to overcome in order to get to where he is in his progression

leaves us with a good understanding of what the future holds for him, judging from where he’s at in his arc at the conclusion of the narrative

I’ll get back to this, but for now I’ll reiterate how Cas remaining an angel in any shape or form, be it the one he’s had for many a season, or a new and powered up version, still means, as per our narrative, that he’s going to have to spend eternity in the Empty.

So, no. 

To me - not satisfactory.

Now for the second point up for discussion, should the series end with Cas becoming fully-fledged and returning to Heaven to stay there —>

(while bearing in mind that this is all conjecture and based in my reading of this narrative) (don’t forget them pinches of salt, my loves)

2. Giving Up His Family

Would he have to give up his family, though? If he goes fully-fledged and returns to Heaven to lead in any capacity, doesn’t that just mean that he’ll hear Dean’s prayers and return as often as he can? Which, if their previous track record is anything to go by, would be often. It’s not like this is an ending, right?

Well. 

I think it has to be for the narrative to actually have a conclusion. 

They could half-ass it and leave the ending open to interpretation, sure; but the question as it stands to be answered is for Castiel to choose between being an angel and being a man, and narratively the half-assed answer is how he’s been living for the majority of his journey.

He has, since S9, been sincerely stuck between these two modes of existing, one foot in Heaven and the other out of it, and for a lot of his progression, this half-assed state of existence has meant horribly broken wings and thinking himself only useful as a weapon.

The narrative itself has pushed for Cas’ internal conflict to be centered on how to honestly answer the question of what his true identity is, and the only way for him to answer it honestly is to gain perspective enough so that he’s able to take a long hard look at who he wants to be.

Due to this, Cas’ internal conflict, since S4, has been circling Cas’ avoidance of being honest with himself. (perfectly mirroring Dean)

So for the narrative to end on the answer being angel, only for Cas to continue to be allowed to half-ass it (because it would be too sad to watch him make a choice that means giving up his family) leaves his journey, and all those hard-learned lessons, coming across as rather pointless. 

He was stuck half-assing it for all these years because he hadn’t found the needed perspective to answer the question honestly, so if his honest answer is angel and this honest answer is meant to bring self-actualisation and a step toward real internal balance (or internal completion, if you will) then leaving him in a half-assing it state as the narrative concludes is unsatisfactory.

Let’s look again at the ways to narratively satisfactorily end Cas’ journey:

tying up loose ends

justifying the obstacles Cas has had to overcome in order to get to where he is in his progression

leaving us with a good understanding of what the future holds for him, judging from where he’s at in his arc at the conclusion of the narrative

The answer is yes to all of these points if Cas becomes a fully-fledged angel and STAYS in Heaven, with no detours to Earth, because angels aren’t meant to walk the Earth, and it was them walking the Earth after staying away for two thousand years that really started this whole roller coaster ride of destruction and mayhem, right? Right.

Castiel making peace with his past and accepting the fact that he was never meant to live an earthbound existence, taking all the good things humanity has taught him, and fully embracing his own innate humanity in order to take away the fear and indoctrination of Heaven, would make for a satisfactory ending to his individual arc.

At least the superficial reading of it.

And I’m not about the superficial reading of it. 

And of course I don’t want this for Cas. But looking at it from a purely narrative viewpoint, I can see how this could work.

It just means that Cas would have to recognise his ties to Dean for what they are (in this scenario): a teachable moment. And Cas has learned his lessons. And he’ll always be grateful, but it’s time for him to let go.

Yeah, like I said, I don’t want this for Cas or for Cas and Dean, but I can see it as viable. More viable than Cas half-assing it as a fully-fledged angel, because that leaves a much bigger narrative exclamation point for me in that it basically invalidates the necessity for his broken wings and rebellion as part of his character growth.

If he’s going to land back exactly where he started, then he should’ve been able to get there fully-fledged. But, of course, he couldn’t get there fully-fledged because the writers couldn’t work him into the narrative if he was powered up.

He was always too powerful an ally to the very breakable brothers, and if he’d been fully-fledged throughout, it would’ve messed up our sense of the stakes.

But now, should he be allowed to half-ass it as fully-fledged once the narrative has ended, his brokeness, which has always been so essential to his progression, will come across much less as an integral part of that, and all the more like nothing but a narrative necessity, rather than a way to structure and explore Cas’ needs as a character for internal growth that have always, so beautifully, mirrored Dean’s needs.

Of course, if Cas were to choose to go back (forever), then there’s the highly satisfactory tie-back potential of a goodbye between Cas and Dean linking right back to the end of S8, giving us the gravitas of the “ET goes home” moment in full regalia.

It would be heartbreaking af, but for it to hold that gravitas, ET really has to get on that spaceship and go off home forever this time. You know?

In my book, it would be the tragedy to end all tragedies. *please no*

3. Duty over Freedom

This is a big one for me.

It’s a big one because the overarching and driving themes of our narrative have always had to do with —>

identity (and self-worth)

family (and loyalty)

freedom of choice (and duty)

And the constant push and pull of these three thematic threads decrees the ups and downs of Cas’ progression, as well as Dean’s, because of the way that their deeply rooted view on duty is directed at everything and everyone but themselves, and this view on duty is informed by their sense of loyalty, and that sense of loyalty is all askew due to their lack of self-worth.

Sam has this same duty-triggered sense of loyalty as well, though in a slightly different guise, because though Dean and Cas have both been messed up by their respective fathers’ indoctrination into soldierdome (the root of the root of their view on duty) Sam’s sense of duty is to his father figure, which is Dean. 

Sam may have rejected feeling any sense of duty towards John, but the codependency has ensured that Sam is still stuck in the same pattern, has learned it, one might say, through looking up to Dean and, to my mind, knowing the sacrifices Dean has always made, putting Sam first, no matter what, and the codependency has held due to Sam’s diminished self-worth after every choice he made during his time with Ruby. 

Defeating the devil and saving the world, in spite of those choices, wasn’t enough to heal the trauma he inflicted on his own self-perception, and his trust began to seep out of him with every new situation lobbied at him where control was taken away from him. So he handed that control over to Dean. And let him lead. Because it was just easier. 

(I love this show so much) (the threading is so breathtaking)

Now, back to Cas —>

The narrative has worked to teach Cas a lesson.

The lesson of choice.

But making choices without having the self-worth to trust your innate instincts, as well as having an understanding of your own morals and boundaries, is a recipe for disaster.

As the narrative has shown us, time and again.

Each horrific choice Cas has made has been pushing for him to gain enough self-insight that he’ll learn from his mistakes, and grow.

And he has.

There is the darker side of duty, the one where one does what one has to, where one makes the bad deal, where fear is allowed to govern one’s sense of direction, and old patterns are easier to remain in than forging new ones.

This is the sense of duty all of our main characters seem set to break away from.

But, of course, their core traits are also informed by their deeply felt need to protect innocent life, to step in where they know they’re the only ones who can actually make a difference, to take responsibility for ensuring the safety of people who are in harms way.

Yah, this sense of duty (the one that makes them into actual heroes) is informed by the good side to loyalty.

What they need to break away from is following old patterns blindly, without asking themselves what they actually want, and without much planning or hope for the future. 

So if the scenario we get is the one that gives us Castiel, Angel of the Lord, where he goes back to Heaven at the end of the series, with all the bells and whistles that comes along with that, allowing Cas to actually bring about some sense of peace and order and fix his home, then we still get the unsatisfactory ingredient of Cas reverting back to old patterns, because we have this stated:

You listen to me. Look, thank you. Thank you. Knowing you… It’s been the best part of my life, and the things we’ve shared together - they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you. I love all of you.

We have it narratively stated through dialogue that Cas:

considers his time on Earth the best part of his “life” (a very human thing for an angel to say btw)

that what he’s shared with the Winchesters has changed him (and we’ve seen that manifested in all of the choices he’s made throughout S13-15 where he stopped serving Heaven, began serving Man only to, by beginning of S15, start to serve himself, listening to his own wants and needs and setting clear boundaries for how he expects to be treated)

that he considers the Winchesters - and, of course, this now includes Jack - as his family

and he loves them

He loves them. One might say that his heart is, symbolically, earthbound.

Back to the bulletpoint overview of how to narratively satisfactorily end Cas’ journey and, keeping in mind the three points discussed above of what remaining an angel at the end of his journey would actually mean for Cas as a character, we ask ourselves:

Does him remaining an angel satisfactorily tie up loose ends?

Does him remaining an angel justify the obstacles he’s had to overcome in order to get to where he is in his progression?

Does him remaining an angel leave us with a good understanding of what the future holds for him, judging from where he’s at in his arc at the conclusion of the narrative?

For me, it’s a pretty big and hella bold-lettered no to the first two, and a meh to the third one, because yes, we’ll get a good idea of what a Heavenbound Cas might do with his existence, but it’s not a satisfactory yes, because of all the already mentioned reasons. 

He’ll have answered the identity question by choosing Angel as his reply, but that reply nullifies so much of the emotional growth he’s done over the years, and goes against the multitude of narrative statements given to us of where he feels he belongs.

So, nothing else to do but to discuss the second possible scenario on our checklist, right?

Yaaaaassss indeed. Not going to lie. I’m partial to this one. Pardon me if my love for the human!Cas arc shines through. (it glitters and sparkles)

So Very, Very Human

Scenario the Second —> Cas’ powers are fully restored and…

We get to witness that heartfelt goodbye between Dean and Cas, but then, instead of staying in Heaven, we get Cas, fully powered, gaining the perspective he needs of who he truly is and who he wants to be, leading to a series ending where Cas chooses to become human, returning to Earth and all the shenanigans of a hunter life.

My main reason for standing so firmly behind the idea of Castiel cutting out his grace and choosing a human life is anchored in the three thematic tentpoles of this narrative’s push for character progression.

As already mentioned, they are:

identity (and self-worth)

family (and loyalty)

freedom of choice (and duty)

The in-between state Cas has been hovering in since Dean’s death at the end of S9, an in-between state that won’t be satisfactorily concluded (as per my above argumentation against it) through him becoming a fully-fledged powered up angel of the lord warrior of Heaven again, would be satisfactorily concluded should he choose, for himself, that where he wants to be, where he belongs, is with his family.

He belongs on Earth.

And the foremost reason for why he belongs on Earth isn’t actually based in the fact that it’s where those he loves are, it runs deeper than that, because in order for Cas to feel whole, in order for him to feel, as the narrative has put it more than once in the last few seasons, complete, he needs to accept what his true form is, he needs to open up to what the narrative has tried to teach him and show him, for all these years, that it is, and that true form is human.

Do we need him to feel whole? There are plenty of broken people in this world, right? Why can’t Cas be representative of someone who has found his place, regardless of whether he’s all fixed up? Perhaps he keeps his broken wings and still changes his attitude from feeling like he’s a “thing” to thinking of himself as simply himself?

Perhaps he already is doing exactly that?

This line of questioning brings us back to —>

The Middle Ground

Let’s reiterate Scenario the Third: based in the assumption that Cas isn’t getting his powers back at all, and we’re left with there being no reason for Cas to choose a human life either. He simply remains in the same shape and form that he’s more or less held since S9.

Now, I’ll ask it again: would the middle ground scenario - keeping him as is, with all the character progression intact and him, clearly, set up to grow and evolve beyond the series’ ending - be narratively satisfactory?

Does it tie up loose ends?

Does it justify the obstacles Cas has had to overcome in order to get to where he is in his progression?

Does it leave us with a good understanding of what the future holds for him, judging from where he’s at in his arc at the conclusion of the narrative?

Well, let’s see.

Does Cas remaining as he has been - broken wings and all - tie up loose ends?

Loose ends for Cas would be the fact that Heaven is falling apart; the deal with the Empty; answering that overarching question of Angel or Man? (no longer considering himself an in between thing); claiming the place where he belongs (a Cas is Back in Town moment); displaying a healthy sense of duty (shield rather than weapon) and narratively being rewarded for Big Lessons Learned.

Loose End: Heaven is Falling Apart —>

As mentioned, Cas has tried to fix his home since end of S5, where he declared that was he was going to do to a grief stricken Dean, and left (oh Cas)

Cas’ first attempt was to bring what he’d learned about free will to Heaven, trying to teach it to the angels, discovering, to his great despair, that it’s like trying to teach poetry to fish, but, again, I would argue that Cas wasn’t fully equipped to act the teacher, and because he forced himself into the role, seeing no other way to beat Raphael than to push for the type of rebellion he learned how to stage through his time with Dean, it ended with Cas’ confused sense of identity manifesting in him morphing into the figure he’d hoped could save them all: God.

Rather than believing he was enough, he could see no other choice but to become something else entirely, something that went against everything he truly believes to his core to be right, turning him into something violent and discompassionate, pushing him to finally admit the error in his choice, only to have it be too late, and that choice ending up setting the Leviathan loose on the world while he died in that lake, paying the ultimate price for his mistakes.

This part of Cas’ backstory, the deep failure, the shame, the guilt that came with it, has been underpinning Cas’ lack of self-worth and, more importantly, his lack of self-trust ever since he came back in 7x17. 

This is why Heaven now sitting on the brink of collapse is tied so specifically to his character journey and why it’s an important loose end that is in need of tying up, not only plot wise, but as part of a narrative statement clarifying Cas’ progression.

How so?

Because there should be good reason - whether Cas stays on Earth as is, or whether he makes the choice to become human - for him to feel at peace with that choice, and especially if Cas is to stay as is - broken wings and all - there’s even more reason for us to understand that he’s no longer in-between Heaven and Earth: he’s able to let Heaven go.

So if Heaven is no longer crying out for him to, out of sheer narrative necessity, stay dutifully tied to that sense of guilt and shame that his previous failures have placed in him, keeping him feeling ever so responsible for his birthplace, making it rather impossible for him to actually weigh what he truly wants for himself, then once Heaven is balanced out, what we might get to witness is Cas able to definitively let Heaven go. Cas making one final choice of remaining on Earth, and making it for himself.

Saving Heaven from this threat of continued errosion is most easily accomplished through two narrative tools that are already established in the narrative:

Jack using his powers to help restore this balance 

or an archangel returning to Heaven and restoring a semblence of it’s former glory (Michael might change his mind...for example)

Both these things can happen without Cas being fully-fledged, nor does he need to be human, he can stay just as he’s been and Heaven can still find balance. 

One could even see how Heaven actually being balanced out at the end of the series and Cas being allowed to breathe again could be structured into serving as his narrative reward for Big Lessons Learned. Because there should be a reward at the end of Cas’ journey. He’s literally been to Hell and back. 

The thing is that for that reward to be apparent to us, we need to see the moment where he truly earns it, a moment that establishes that he’s not only aware of what the narrative has been pushing for him to learn, but the Big Lessons are internalised and his journey has worked to evolve him.

The simplest way of showing these Big Lessons Learned to the audience and clarifying this moment of Cas earning his reward, is by giving us a sense of Cas choosing. 

Why? 

Because the narrative, as already offered, is based in the theme of Freedom of Choice, and ideally Cas’ choice would tie directly in with the other two overarching themes of identity and family.

Which lands us in this question: What exactly would Cas be shown to choose should he remain as is? 

Because, to my mind, Cas remaining as he is makes it pretty difficult to show him making any sort of choice, since he is literally just staying as he has been, especially as he has been since he made that choice back in 13x04 of returning from the Empty to Earth, being sent back in his old vessel. 

See, he’s already chosen where he wants to belong, and S15, if anything, has underlined this choice having been made, through Cas’ confrontation with Dean, Cas leaving the bunker because of Dean, and then returning, before Dean apologised, because Dean being a dickhead no longer interferes with Cas’ sense of self: he knows where he belongs.

(and without him returning nothing will change) *slow eye-brow raise*

And it may not have been an overt Cas is Back in Town moment, but it came damn close.

So, then, what choice does he need to make?

For me, the choice isn’t where to belong, because the answer has been given to us through his actions since S13, but especially throughout S15, but rather the choice still ahead of him is how to belong. 

And lest we forget, should Cas choose to belong on Earth as an angel, he will still, by all accounts, be headed for the Empty once all is said and done, Because at the end of it all, the Empty will (most likely) get to go back to sleep. I cannot see it going bye-bye. 

So the fact remains that, even if there’s some way out of Cas’ current Empty deal, there’s nowhere else for Cas to go when he dies.

And after everything he’s been through (and as per the romantic in me) shouldn’t he get to go to Heaven, and shouldn’t it be a shared Heaven, one where his soulmate resides? I would argue with my last breath that the answer is yes.

But, my loves, there’s only one way for him to get there. 

Oh, let me add that I don’t believe Cas still has his soul, because then he wouldn’t have gone so completely to the Empty after his angel death. Honestly, I like it better that way, because the humanity of humans is often professed to reside with their soul, but Cas is a statement of how one’s humanity is actually tied to one’s choices, giving us an excellent example of how it doesn’t matter what you are, it matters what you do. 

Jack’s choices, for example, may have become heavily influenced by him losing his soul and his ability to feel fully, but most of his mistakes were brought on because of the lack of guidance he suffered. WWWD was not a very good piece of advice, and had Dean been the one to take on the responsibility (which he couldn’t, because of his suspicion rooted in all his own fears, but if he had) then the outcome would’ve most likely been a different one. 

I’ll leave the How Cas Can Get Into Heaven topic for now, and focus us back on the loose ends, because the one that sticks out the most - at least to me - is how, if Cas were to remain as he is, neither getting his wings back nor choosing to become human, we will not get an actual answer to the narratively posed question of Angel or Man?

Loose End: The Question of His True Identity

Cas remaining as is, isn’t a final choice. 

It may be an acceptance of how he has to remain broken and somewhat stuck in-between if he’s to live on Earth and be with his human family, but it’s not a choice, not really, not this late in the game. 

For me, this isn’t a deal breaker (in fact, no scenario really is because I in no way expect all of this to be hitting the spot to a T anyway) but it would be highly unsatisfactory.

Why is it so important to get a definitive answer to the Angel or Man question? After all, it was posed six seasons ago and perhaps the narrative has actually moved on from it?

Yes, this is absolutely a good point and a possibility at that, and, again, I am in no way deluded enough to think that all of this speculation will hit on what we’ll actually get with even the slightest precision, but for my own sake (which is really why I’m outlining all these thoughts yeah?) I want to push for why I still feel, to my core, that leaving Cas with broken wings, even if he finds self-worth and self-actualisation in that half-state, there is something deeply unsatisfactory in the loose end of not actually answering the question of which side to him - the angelic or the human - that actually brings him the most happiness.

(I almost wrote “which side to him actually sparks joy”) (but no) (I mean kinda yes he should Marie Kondo his insides) (we all should do that once in a while) (them mean thoughts and them self-destructive impulses?) (yeah they can go) (anyway…)

Not giving us a definitive answer to the question of identity is especially dissatisfying as the narrative, for over ten years of character journey, has shown us how miserable it makes Cas to not be earthbound. In fact, the one time he made the choice to go back to Heaven and close the gates behind him forever in order to save humanity, the narrative said nope, don’t think so - and brought him right back to humanity. By making him human.

I will concede to this being my interpretation of Cas’ journey, because nowhere in canon is this stated, but way I see it, Cas has been transitioning from angel to human since the second he touched Dean in Hell.

And it’s not a desire placed there by Dean, it’s something Cas has carried within himself, a curiosity, and a seedling of doubt, ever since he came off the assembly line with a crack in his chassis. 

Gripping Dean tight and raising him from perdition merely served to give Cas’ already existing curiosity, and doubt, something to actually focus on. Something to focus on so hard that all the brainwashing done by Heaven couldn’t keep it at bay anymore, because it’s part of who Cas truly is to question authority, to seek free will, to not be used as a weapon, but to step in and act the shield of his own volition.

Which brings us back to the second scenario, which I’m now going to expand on —>

So Very, Very Human (again)

Remember those three tentpoles of this narrative’s push for character progression? 

identity (and self-worth)

family (and loyalty)

freedom of choice (and sense of duty)

And what were all those loose ends in need of being tied up?

Heaven is falling apart

The deal with the Empty

Answering that overarching question of Angel or Man? (no longer considering himself an in between thing)

Claiming the place where he belongs (a Cas is Back in Town moment)

Displaying a healthy sense of duty (shield rather than weapon) 

Narratively being rewarded for Big Lessons Learned

I am not saying Cas has to become human in order for his journey to conclude 100% satisfactorily, thus spake the lords of storytelling; I am open to (no I mean it sincerely) whatever is headed our way, whatever the writers choose as an ending that is satisfactory to them, I will accept it, whatever guise it takes, yeah? 

This is simply my personal preference for what would be the most satisfactory to me, and I’m making that statement now, because I’m about to go headfirst into outlining exactly why. Thanks for sticking with me this far. You’re awesome. *heart eyes*

Okay. 

Human!Cas. 

Before we look ahead, I’d like us to look back, all the way back to S9 and the human!Cas arc, because I’d like to explain, briefly, why I put down the need for a Cas is Back in Town moment amidst those loose ends.

You see, when Cas first experienced mortality, we all know it started rough. It started with him feeling lost and being all alone and getting himself killed and then it continued with him believing he’d finally come home to roost in the bunker, only to be inexplicably thrown out, by Dean, and then Cas went on to find himself a human persona (Steve) and learning to mimick other humans and doing simply what he figured was expected of him, and then Dean came into town and because Dean encouraged Cas to get in on the case, Cas was brought into a situation where he had no choice but to face the fear of getting himself killed again, only this time he’d probably stay dead - a fear that had been festering like a terrible festering festerer - and once he’d done that, he was able to finally admit to himself that “Steve” wasn’t anything but an armour and he dropped that armour and then we got the Cas is back in town moment of 9x09 fame.

So.

It would be awesome for him to have another Cas is Back in Town moment. 

Why, exactly?

Because that’s the moment in the human!Cas arc when we are shown, unequivocally, that Cas’ sense of identity is flourishing. He is choosing to insert himself into the investigation, even though the last time we saw Cas, it was when he was told by Dean Touchstone for all Things Human Winchester to go and live his life, basically having it explained to him, by his foremost role model for what humanity is, that life, and specifically this newfound life of Cas’, should be lived away from dangerous things. 

Cas being back in town, and happy and proud to be so, is all about Cas embracing his innate need to protect, even if that means risking his own life, and choosing a hunter life for himself, finding his way back to the people he loves by being entirely honest with himself about who he is and who he wants to be, not allowing fear to rule him. 

He follows his heart, you might say. (go on, you know you wanna say it)

And yes, out of narrative necessity - because Cas can’t see how he can help save/heal Sam or stave off the brewing war as a human - Cas then chooses to swallow stolen grace and get his powers back, which, btw, brings about the most heartbreaking phone exchange between Dean and Cas ever. Ow. My damn heart.

So then, that’s the human!Cas arc in brief, and the core reason for why I feel so very strongly that Cas - who screwed himself by swallowing that grace, unable to see how he could possibly be useful in the fight as a human, even though he displays a stronger sense of self as a human than he ever has as an angel - would be happiest, at the end of his journey, if he were to end it on making the choice to become human, to live a mortal life, with his family, on Earth.

And, yes, then, rather than spending eternity in the dread Empty, getting to go to Heaven with the man he goddamn well loves, innit?

Ah, but there’s more. Oh, yes.

1. Identity

In ways that remaining an angel narratively simply cannot provide, Cas choosing to become human would cement the end of his transitioning period and would be the final marker for those Big Lessons Learned.

The Big Lessons presented to him throughout the narrative, meant to bring him to a point of growth in his progression where he can finally and honestly and without hesitation answer the questions Who am I? and Who do I want to be? ie. What do I want? 

And, yes, if the answer to these questions were: Human. and To live a long and happy life. then this would also answer the question of what Cas’ true identity is, ie. it would provide the conclusive reply to the Angel or Man? query.

And yes, of course, so would the reply Angel, but as I’ve attempted to demonstrate through my above argumentation, replying Angel still comes with dangling loose ends.

I would also argue that Cas’ happiest moment could be, and even should be, tied to his moment of self-actualisation, his moment of finally being honest with himself, not only honest about where he truly belongs, but how he wants to belong there.

He’s been missing that PB&J, but he has never believed that he would be of any use in the fight if he doesn’t have his powers. He’s been unable to actually see himself as part of the Winchester clan if he doesn’t have something to bring to the table, because the last time he tried, he was left with what he saw as no other choice but to admit defeat and swallow that stolen grace, so that he could power back up and feel ready, feel less vulnerable, find those old, worn patterns and take comfort from them. 

To have Cas restored to full strength - because I do believe it would be a beautiful moment, not just for Cas, but for Jack as well, and if Dean is there, then it would be an all around gorgeous moment of healing - to then have Cas, with all his powers, finally admit that he doesn’t want them, because he doesn’t need them anymore, they’re not as much a part of him as they’re a helpful side effect to being an angel, and he doesn’t belong in Heaven, he doesn’t want to be in Heaven, and he may not know exactly what a human life will entail - he has an inkling, since his stint as a human, but there’s still so much he’s never experienced - he just knows he wants it.

And this would all be brain-crackling, full of satisfaction and tying up of many loose ends, as well as underlining the actual necessity for Cas’ journey through all of the Big Lessons Learned. *feels*

There could be stakes added here, tying back to S8 and the closing of the gates. To bring about balance, perhaps the gates of Heaven and Hell need to close for good? Ie. there’ll be no more angels and demons walking the Earth. So the choice for Cas wouldn’t be an in between one, it would be an either or. Stay in Heaven forever and remain an angel, or go back to Earth, but go back as a human. 

It fits the narrative if anything like this were to happen - Cas being confronted with an ultimatum that forces clarity - because Cas isn’t contemplating cutting out his grace. Not yet. He’s safe within the status quo and sees no reason to question it, not even with the Empty popping up to remind him of their deal.

Aw, yes, let’s explore how the Empty so neatly ties in with Cas’ fear of happiness. (perfectly mirroring Dean) 

Now, remember, I’m looking at this with the Empty as representative of Cas’ Shadow, which, in Carl Jung terms means the Empty is a manifestation of Cas’ unconscious. 

The Shadow, made up of repressed thoughts, desires and feelings, doesn’t trust that anything will ever be okay or that anything good will last - it’s up to oneself to consciously strive to dare to believe in such things, and conquer one’s unconscious fears, because if our fears are allowed to influence and rule us, then real happiness will be difficult to accept as lasting, and the emotional roller coaster will feel safer than actually standing still in a balanced frame of mind.

The Shadow is in charge of that roller coaster. It’s not really as menacing as it’s made out to be through the Empty, but it is still a side to oneself that one has to face, accept and integrate in order to find that balanced from of mind.

Looking at it from this point of view - and I do - the Shadow telling Cas to keep fearing that moment of happiness — because it won’t last, it will mean he’s bound for the Empty, and a horrifying eternal non-sleep, with no peace in sight — is a manipulative tactic to keep Cas from striving toward self-actualisation and integration.

Because if he does reach self-actualisation, if he balances himself out and gets a moment of perfect internal clarity, where there’s no need for fear, where he’s been able to be honest with himself and honestly LOVE himself in the process, then that moment of self-actualisation will allow him to see his Shadow clearly, and integrate it through acceptance of his own flaws - that shame and guilt and all of that fear of failure will begin to be healed, and his Shadow will have no more emotional buttons to push in order to keep Cas cowed, mistrusting of himself, and defeated.

His conscious self (ego) will no longer be ruled by his unconscious (shadow).

So how does Cas actually beat the deal?

I mean, from that above reading, I would say that a very effective way for him to break the deal is to stop fearing that moment of happiness, and by no longer allowing his fear to rule him, being able to reach his moment of self-actualisation, and the moment of integration.

Cas choosing to become human would be a moment of honesty, of self-insight, of acceptance. It would be a moment of deep, deep self-actualisation. A moment of real internal peace, followed, I would say, by a moment of true happiness.

So let me paint you a detailed spec scenario, because it demonstrates why I am so behind this idea, not that I think this is The Scenario, but because it simply makes sense and ticks all the boxes for satisfaction that are at the back of my head.

Fully-fledged Cas is in Heaven (which is balanced out thanks to Jack/Michael/Death or whatever constellation is created to Fix It) and Cas is now faced with the option to stay an angel, or to go back to Earth a human. 

He makes the choice - meaning his moment of true happiness. *identity based*

The Empty appears. 

But the thing is, Cas now knows what he’s found for himself by making this choice - a loophole.

He cuts out his grace doubly triumphant: he gets to go home, and the Empty has no hold over him anymore.

He is not for the Empty - he is human, and when he dies, he will go to Heaven.

It’s not about taking anything away from him or saying that he’s not fine just as he is, it’s building on the narrative push for him to accept himself, just as he’s always been, and stop fighting it, stop questioning it, stop worrying that he won’t be enough without his powers, that he won’t be able to contribute, that he won’t be looked at the same, because, in the end, when it comes to self-actualisation, all that matters is what you think and what you know to be your truth.

Self-actualisation is about your acceptance of yourself, it’s about your ability to love yourself through that acceptance, and it, in turn, opening you up to receiving love, knowing, to your core, that you are lovable and deserve to be loved.

With this scenario comes a Big Lessons Learned moment that sets Cas up for a reward. 

And what should it be?

2. Family

As already mentioned, we know who Cas considers to be his family: Dean, Sam and Jack.

If Jack doesn’t end up sacrificing himself for the greater good (which I feel is more plausible a death than any other), then his human side would, most likely, keep him on Earth. 

And then there’s Sam. Dear Sam. Who’s a friend in need and a friend, indeed.

Lastly, there’s Dean. And the depth of what Dean means for Cas, and what Dean narratively has meant for Cas’ progression, is pretty much impossible to overlook. 

I know I already brought this up, but I think it’s important to note, because whether we get a textual  pronounciation and conclusion to the subtextual love story between Dean and Cas, or whether it’s kept in subtext and merely strongly hinted at, the fact of the matter is that they matter to one another, more so than anyone else have ever mattered to them and this would, of course, provide the tragedy of a goodbye, should a goodbye be required, and the ending be tragic, but it also pushes on the very real fact of how a reward, in any guise, would most easily be tied to what they’ve narratively (and very canonically) have meant for one another.

Yes, when I say they matter more to each other than anyone else, this means even Sam for Dean, because Sam isn’t the character in the narrative put there to help push for Dean’s progression - Cas is. 

To put it plainly: the codependency is the placeholder, highlighting the progression that’s needed to reach self-actualisation. The trust and healthy challenges Dean shares with Cas is the opposite, underlining the fears he needs to face, and where he should get to emotionally, once he has reached self-actualisation. 

Cas’ relationship with Dean - and how Dean was a role model in all things human, at least up until the moment Cas stated there was nothing left to say and stepped out of that bunker, because he’d learned what he could and he had no interest in learning how to be so unforgiving, which was a Big Lesson, since it takes the label of teacher off Dean and allows him to be entirely something else - could easily serve as a satisfactory conclusion and statement of Cas having incorporated all the lessons of the narrative, especially since so many of them tie directly back to Dean.

Cas embracing his own humanity, for himself, without worrying about what that humanity might mean for anyone else, and believing himself deserving of love due to letting go of all those old fears, thanks to him reaching a point of self-actualisation, would mean that he would stop waiting for Dean to make a move, and might very well make that move himself. 

Personally I’m doubtful it will be textual, but what stronger statement could the writers make of who ends up with whom than to end the series on Sam with Eileen, and Cas returning from Heaven, human, and giving us something very akin to that Cas is Back in Town moment (even if it’s only in spirit)? 

It would serve to let us know that, of course, Cas isn’t fearful of his mortality this time around. He’s empowered by it. And him returning to the bunker, to his family, to the life, to Dean, signals to us how he’s very ready to get back to it all, including going out hunting (with Dean).

Simple. Neat. Non-explicit, and yet undeniable. 

Aka closure.

The good kind. You know? The one that leaves you exhilarated and dancing around your room laughing with joy at how amazing all the subsequent fanfiction will most likely be, exploring all of their post-series finale shen-an-i-gans?? Yeah, that good kind. 

*head exploding*

Most of all, for the people out there who, like me, are thirsty for satisfaction, they will remain Team Free Will (hopefully 2.0), they will remain a family, they will remain. 

There may be new dynamics to work with, but they will still be them and they will remain as close as they ever were, with the promise of them all growing even closer, following each other’s continued progression as they all move into a new phase in their lives. But together.

3. Freedom of Choice

Cas choosing to become human would effectively demonstrate to us how he’s leaving behind the yoke of his previous sense of duty. 

Instead of praying for guidance, or relying on external forces to dictate what his actions should be, he’ll still be doing what has to be done, but he’ll be doing it purely reliant on his own personal view of the world and his place in it.

This would be a rather remarkable way to address how so many of his choices have been made under duress, either because he’s been manipulated into them without having the wherewithal to see through the manipulation (Crowley, Metatron, Lucifer) or because he’s simply felt lost, mistrusting his inner compass and unable to follow any gut instinct that would’ve otherwise been able to guide him.

In making the choice to become human, Cas would cast off his past, shake it off, as it were, and move into his future, free to take it as it comes in a way we’ve only seen him be once before. (as a human)

I suppose my hope is for our love story to grow into the text before the end, but I’m also very aware that we’re rapidly moving towards the 11th hour, and I doubt we’ll get a last-minute confirmation or the show ending on a kiss between them, because this show isn’t about them. 

What’s important to remember, however, is that the fear of happiness runs deep in Dean as well, and Cas has been shown to provide Dean with a source of happiness that he doesn’t get from anyone else, so if Dean’s journey is to end on a high note, and he’s to face his fear of true happiness  and believe he deserves to be loved and the reward being… not linked to Cas in any way? I have a very hard time seeing that happening. So, I have faith.

What I hope for, more than anything at this point, is for an ending definitive enough that we don’t have to wonder and we don’t have to make it up for ourselves. 

An ending that is open enough that we know they will continue on, something for us to build on, and we most likely and most happily will build on it for ages to come, no matter what we get (at least I will), but still, an ending, a conclusion, a statement.

Closure.

*for the love of Ash’s hair*

To Summarise

Here endeth my long speculation and gentle argumentation for Cas to choose humanity at the end of our remarkable narrative. 

To give a brief overview of the points I’ve tried to make (hopefully I’ve succeeded in making them) (whether you agree or not is a different matter) —>

In 15x18 Cas makes the choice to return to Heaven to act as commander of the (handful? or will Jack be able to make more as his powers grow without, you know, transforming human souls?) of angels still there and make a concerted effort to defend Heaven, while Dean, Sam and Jack rally the troops on Earth, and Rowena rally the armies of Hell (please!)

He gets his powers back because the choice is the right one to make as he narratively needs the perspective in order to truly decide who he is and who he wants to be, and the reward for that right choice is that he doesn’t have to face the final battle with broken wings

There’s an ET goes home callback that makes us all fucking cry when Dean and Cas say their goodbyes, Dean being supportive af because that would be awesome, showing his progression

All the while, Dean wishes, fervently, that Cas would just stay, and at some point it would be doubly awesome for him to vocalise this

There is the possibility that everyone understands that if they win this war with God, and things start going back to “normal”, the best thing for everyone would be for the gates of Heaven and of Hell to close, but this might also be something that’s realised once the war is won

(of course it will be won) (thank fuck)

So, either Dean and Cas’ goodbye makes us cry because there’s the understanding that Cas won’t be able to just flit back and forth between Heaven and Earth as he pleases and so it’s really goodbye

Or it makes us cry because it’s still the end of them, as Cas is bound for Heaven again, and their relationship seems to be reverting to S4 status like N-O P-L-E-A-S-E

But because the gates of Heaven are closing (or not) Cas is pushed into making this choice for himself, and naw, he’s not going to stay in Heaven

The moment he makes the choice to return to Earth as a human, the Empty shows up to claim him

But the loophole allows Cas to tell the Empty to fuck right off as Cas (or another angel) cuts out his grace and he falls back to Earth. (in his human vessel) (if Metatron can do it, then an archangel such as Mike or even someone like Naomi, if she comes back on the board, can do it) (eh?)

Cas reunites with the gang, Sam and Eileen are lovey dovey, Dean and Cas are happy for them, and either they part ways here, Sam staying with Eileen, Dean and Cas heading out to Baby, or they stay together, a family unit, with Jack as well, of course, and it’s not like everything is perfect and they’re surrounded by a white picket fence and there are butterflies fluttering, because there’s still evil in the world that needs to be hunted and fought and they’ll always have work to do, but we see them together and we just know they’ll be alright.

All is peace.

And we are done.

FADE TO BLACK.

Buh-LIEVE me, this detail spec is not what we’re getting and I know it isn’t, but I wanted to write it out to explain what I got in my head, why it felt viable to me, and why the worry that they’ll give Cas his wings back and pack him off to Heaven and leave him there made me feel the need to write down why that is just not a good idea. (!!)

Do I actually believe they would ever do that?

I actually don’t. But, by that same token, I don’t know they wouldn’t. And to calm myself, I had to write out why I actually don’t think they would. Because narratively I cannot see how it would ever actually work that he becomes fully-fledged and goes away. You know?

Either he’ll remain as he is, and the Empty, and the sad parts that come with him not actually self-actualising before our eyes will simply be what it is, and I’ll accept it as it is, yeah? 

Or he’ll become human.

He won’t die again. I just do not believe he will. But hey, I’ve been wrong before! That’s partly the fun of this. It’s always so satisfying when you get it even in the ballpark of close to what we actually get on the show. Mh mh goodness.

What’s interesting to me, though, is the whole callback to S8 idea that hasn’t really left me alone since it got in my head, because it would be so lovely and so heartbreaking and so poignant. For Dean to be put in a situation where he supports Cas’ choices and does so without hesitation, but where he also ends up being compelled to say something, to tell Cas he wishes Cas could stay, or hopes Cas will come back or anything that just speaks to how Dean has let Cas disappear one too many times without properly expressing how, maybe, Dean would rather Cas stuck around.

It would, of course, tie back to the prayer, and to how Dean was absolutely ready to look Cas in the eyes, even though there were less then three minutes left on that ticking clock, and tell Cas what he’d felt compelled to say when he thought he was losing him again. There was no need for Dean to repeat it in purgatory, but maybe that was foreshadowing for what’s yet to come.

Even with the impossibility of Cas actually staying, because they have a war to win and Cas is needed elsewhere, it would be lovely if this is the moment Dean makes it clear that, under different circumstances, Dean would have preferred it that Cas stayed.

And for Cas to, instead of having humanity thrust upon him, the way it was in S8 when Metatron tricked him and cut out his grace, getting to choose it this time, and choose it for himself. 

The ET goes home moment would reflect S8 kind of perfectly, but with an actually happy outcome, hinting at a new human!Cas arc and, for me, that would be as good as textual Destiel because they’re on fire in the human!Cas arc. Like, they are moving towards something actual and tangible, the way they’re flirting with each other in that bar. I don’t think there is a more endearing or adorable moment than Cas drinking his beer and paying Dean a compliment and giving him a wink. And Dean then returning the flirtation. 

Um. Yes, please.

By the way, let me make it absolutely clear that there’s no doubt in my mind that the culmination of the love story in no way is relying on Cas becoming human. This isn’t a They Both Have to Be Human to be Together argument, because Dean has been in love with Cas for a long time, long before the human!Cas arc. It doesn’t matter what form Cas takes, to Dean Cas is Cas. 

The question is one of obstacles. We ask ourselves: what’s been stopping them from actually being together this whole time?

To me, all the choices that the characters make throughout S9 is an enormous turning point for all of them, but especially Dean and Cas during the beginning of the season, as their choices give us so much of what they need to do, what aspects of themselves they have to address, if they’re ever to find their way out of self-destruction and self-doubt, and into self-worth, paving the way for them being able to believe they deserve the love that the other has been proffering for all these years, and actually seeing it in its true light, accepting it, trusting it, and returning it without any inhibition.

Add to that the already mentioned shared struggle, as Cas and Dean have always had a deeply rooted fear of happiness, and we can all see the obstacles they’ve had to overcome to get to a place where they can share a healthy relationship.

They have had to build that healthy relationship with themselves first, and the reward at the end: happiness and love. *fingers so damn crossed though*

It really would be beyond amazing if we have it textualised, however subtle it may be, by the end of the series, that they are each other’s happiness, and that, without the other, there’s not much happiness to be had. There’s moving on and there’s not giving up and there’s finding purpose outside this one relationship, of course, but a long and happy life?

Not so much. 

To me, this is a fact that has been covertly explored throughout the entirety of their joint arc, because whenever one of them disappears out of the other’s orbit, their progression pretty much crashes to an absolute halt, or even undergoes serious regression. I talked about that in that other long-ass meta I mentioned, so if you’re hungry for more… 

I digress.

My final point, really, is that getting to witness  Dean letting Cas go, supporting him returning to Heaven, and Cas rightly feeling compelled to fullfil his duty, because it will lead to him being granted the choice of who he truly wants to be, would be mind-blowing. And if it all leads to an underlining of how Dean is taking the narrative lesson of easing up on his need for control, learning to let go and trusting that it will be alright in the end, which then leads to the love of his life returning to him, and Dean, finally, understanding that this is what Cas always does - he may up and leave, but he also always returns.

Only, this time Cas is staying…

I mean. Right? Anything like this. Anything even in the vicinity of this. Oh my God. I’ll be dancing.

I’m intrigued by the fact that Cas is subtly set up as a blindspot for Chuck the Writer, who’s first draft when at Becky’s house doesn’t even mention Cas. I have a feeling Cas will be a pivotal ingredient in them winning this stand-off, as he’s proven himself to be already, throughout S15.

And I’m intrigued by the phrase that has occurred at least twice in our narrative since end of S14: I had to die to get what I want. 

Could Cas almost cutting out his “life force” and bringing himself to the brink of “death” (angelic, as it were) be foreshadowing for how his angelic side has to die in order for him to get what he wants? 

I guess we shall simply have to wait and see, eh?

End of the day, it’s a question of legacy. And I’m just very curious to see what sort of legacy the writers room are gearing up to leave us with. I have every faith - all the faith - that no matter what we get, it’s going to be

s p e c t a c u l a r.

[hope-faith-love-abide]

I haven’t been keeping up with Heartland season 14 updates the past few months, but I decided to catch up on some of it since the premiere date is coming up and the teaser trailer was released recently. And I noticed some interesting speculation about what might happen in the new season, and I have...a lot of thoughts about it, haha. I think I need to write it out in order to really sort out my thoughts and feelings on it, but I think it might get kinda long since it’s pretty major, so I’m going to put it under a cut. 

[NOTE: This post was written approximately a week or so ago, and I’ve been just sitting on it trying to decide if I wanna post or not. But having watched the full trailer for Season 14 now...I’m like 95% certain that this seems to be the route that the season is going. Still have about 5% doubt because trailers can be misleading and I could just be reading into it. We won’t really know for sure until we see the first episode, and I’m so torn between being somewhat excited just because I want to know for certain and nervous because I know I will still be sad if it’s true.

Either way, I wanted to get my thoughts down before the season premieres so here it is I guess lol]

So...it’s actually possible that Ty might die/be dead when this season begins? Which is utterly bizarre to think about because I never would have considered this to be an actual possible situation for the show. Even when there was that summary that leaked earlier this year, I still didn’t think it was a real possibility. I thought for certain that was fake, because this is Heartland. It’s one thing for a side character to disappear from the show or to be killed off, but a main character? A main character can be hurt, injured, and on the verge of death, but they won’t actually die. Especially not a character who is in one of the two major ships on the show.

Until now?

Of course, if this does happen, I don’t think it’s something anyone on the show wanted, not even the writers. In an ideal world where every actor wanted to be in every episode of the show, I imagine they’d be perfectly happy continuing to write that story.

But in cases where an actor no longer wants to be a main character on the show -- well, obviously I can’t say definitively that this is the case, because as far as I know he has never specifically said this in an interview, but from an outsider’s/fan’s perspective, it feels like that is a possibility. I don’t know the reasons behind it though, and I’m not going to go that far into speculation.

But let’s go with this scenario hypothetically. Because it does sometimes happen with television shows, where an actor for one reason or another no longer will be part of a show. 

What do you do with that character?

The character could be recast, I suppose, but I don’t think that would work in a show like Heartland. How would we explain in-universe why Ty suddenly looks different when everyone else is still the same? Even if you can find an actor that looks similar enough, we know what Ty looks like after 13 seasons, and I don’t think anyone would be fooled into thinking it’s the same guy. I guess it could be explained with the trope that he got into such a bad accident that they had to reconstruct his face, but that feels cheap and too much like a soap opera. 

So that’s a no.

The character could be written out in other ways. Ty could just be off screen somewhere...all the time. He’s at the clinic, he’s spending the day with Lyndy, he’s at a vet conference, he’s gone back to save wolves from poachers again, he’s gone back to Mongolia for the third/fourth/fifth/ten billionth time. 

That, honestly, would be frustrating. It’s maybe the least painful short term option, but long term, it’s not very enjoyable. It’s like when important side characters suddenly disappear from the show, occasionally mentioned but never seen on screen again, only 10 times worse.

Or he could be written off by...y’know, breaking up him and Amy. Which, frankly, is the absolute worst option in my opinion. It would immediately, retroactively, destroy the entire show, past, present, and future. Ty and Amy aren’t the only important part of the show, but they are a major part of it. The show has spent 13 seasons building up this relationship (with obvious ups and downs throughout, but I’m not focused on analyzing their whole relationship in this post), so to suddenly turn around and have them divorce would be an absolute trainwreck. 

What would even be the reason? Even with some of my disagreements in the writing of certain decisions the characters have made (*coughtheMongoliaplotcough*), I don’t think those are reasons enough for these two characters to break up over it. So something new would have to be invented, and it would likely be something completely ridiculous and out-of-character for them both and also likely ruin their character development from past seasons. 

Which leads us to yet another option: Ty dying. A year ago this was something I never would have considered for the actual show (or any of those other options, frankly). It could be interesting to explore in a fanfic, but on the show? No way.

But...things change. Reality sometimes gets in the way of a television show’s ideal storyline, which is one of the difficulties of the medium, especially a live action one. And just because one actor hypothetically doesn’t want to be on the show anymore doesn’t mean it should be derailed for all the other actors and crew who are on board.

So you get rid of the character. It isn’t hard to do. Probably the hardest part will be the very first episode when it’s revealed to the audience. How did it happen? Did it happen before the season begins, or does it happen in the first episode? Or if it happened before, do we get any flashbacks? 

Is it due to complications from the gunshot at the end of season 13? A freak car/motorcycle accident? An accident during a vet call? Depending on what it is and the context of it, it can be a strong final note on the kind of person Ty has become. If during a vet call/because of an animal, it happens while he’s doing what he loves, taking care of animals. If from the end of S13, it’s from him protecting his wife. If a car accident, maybe he was going to pick up Lyndy to spend time with her after leaving a vet call, because he’s a loving father. All of those are inline with Ty’s character and still support the growth that he’s had from the first episode to now. 

And then there’s all the story potential and character growth that it opens up for all the other characters. Because this is something that majorly impacts the entire family. And the description of season 14 that was put out does talk about a “life-changing challenge,” particularly for Amy for obvious reasons.

How does she deal with losing her husband? They’ve been together for so long, not just as romantic interests but as best friends. What does her life look like without him in it? How does this affect her work? Is her work with horses a comfort for her, or does it remind her too much of him? How does she guide Lyndy through this? 

And then the rest of the family. How does Jack deal with his loss? Considering Ty became like a son to him and “officially” joins the family when he marries Amy, how does it affect Jack to lose him? Especially if it was in something like a car accident, similar to Marion. How does it affect Jack and Lisa’s relationship? 

Not to mention Lily, and Lou, and Georgie, and Tim, and Caleb, and Scott, and Cass. Ty was a huge part of all their lives, so this will affect them in major ways too. 

Again, it’s not ideal. But I do feel like this option provides the best story opportunities without ruining the characters in the process the way certain other choices would. 

And, of course, this is all purely speculation. We won’t really know what’s going to happen until the season actually airs, and it’s entirely possible that the “life-changing challenge” will be something completely different, and Ty will be fine. And if so, that’s okay with me. 

But if Ty is gone...I think I could learn to be okay with it. Though it does still depend on how they handle it. Like if everyone’s sad about it for one or two episodes, but then everyone immediately moves on and everything’s fine, then I wouldn’t be happy with that. We don’t need a whole season of everyone crying all the time, but we also don’t need this to be something that’s swept under the rug. We, the audience, will need time to grieve along with the characters. Because this is a main character that we could be losing here, not just a minor side character like Mr. Hanley for example. So I hope we get to see all of the characters going through the stages of grief and processing their loss in their own ways throughout the season.

Anyway, it was nice to write through my thoughts on this. It’s kinda funny thinking about how not that long ago, I would’ve been completely 100% against this idea ever happening in the show, but now I’m like almost on-board with it. Maybe it’s the effect of 2020 or something lol

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Women in SPN—Is it Really That Bad?

TL;DR: Somewhat, yeah, it kinda is.

This is going to be a series of long ones, people.

Before I jump head first into this giant vat of weird toxic shit, let me say something:

The thing about most of the female characters is that on their own? They’re perfectly fine, ranging from serviceable to the occasional flash of thematic brilliance. Barely any of them qualify as “this is hateful on its face and incompetent regardless of context and the writers should feel bad for ever conceiving of it”, i.e. the normie benchmark for justified criticism. It’s only when you put these characters next to each other that a worrying pattern emerges;

Although discussions about sexism in the media were very much a thing in the mid-2000s, as well as shows with characters whose primary role wasn’t to serve a man’s needs, I can’t honestly claim that the flaws of SPN are out of the norm for its time; and

The first few seasons could really do with a PSA at the start of each episode, something along the lines of “A part of the reason why female characters are killed off or written out with such regularity is rabid superfans who couldn’t abide anything with tits brushing against J2, srsly, the writing team and the 2000s’ fan base were a match made in hell, except it wasn’t the writers who couldn’t do with bitching on their LiveJournals about the gall of women to exist in the show, choosing instead to harass the creators and actresses and wives and call them every sexist insult under the sun AND I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE HAS THERE EVER BEEN A CESSPIT AS DISGUSTING AND NUKEWORTHY AS THE SPN FANDO—“

Anyway.

SPN has a legacy (as a posterchild for not knowing when to bow out gracefully, but legacy nonetheless) and isn’t watched in 2005 but in the year of our Lord Today. Meaning that as time goes by, the issues surrounding the show’s production retreat into the background and only what’s on the screen remains, to be judged on its own merits.

So let’s run down a list of the more noteworthy and relevant female characters of the first arc, focusing on their characterization, role in the narrative, and end. In the conclusion to this series of posts, the sum of characters will be analyzed as a whole to see if there are any unique tendencies in the show’s handling of women as opposed to that of men. I’ll do this for the original five seasons as the recent finale went out of its way to say that nothing after season 5 was strictly speaking necessary so why bother.

(Also because I died of frustration in season 8 and vowed not to subject myself to any more of the post-apocalypse fanfic era)

Angels, while strictly speaking genderless clouds of energy, will be classified as men or women depending on the apparent gender of the vessel they spend most of the time riding. The same goes for demons where I also take into account their stated gender while they were alive. That’s because although beings like Meg, Ruby, Anna, or Lilith can’t technically be considered women in the show’s present day, their consistent preference for conventionally attractive and/or female vessels throughout the original arc makes claims of genderlessness essentially meaningless. For all intents and purposes, we’re watching girls and women on screen.

Baby—the only true NB of the first run

All right, time to jump.

Say hi to our ladies!

Mary Winchester

Killed in the very first scene to give the story a reason to exist, she remains an active presence throughout the first arc where she has a wide-reaching influence on the plot and characters, driving the conflict on several levels. Fleshed-out more and more with each appearance to be more than just “the dead mom”, she’s portrayed as protective, pro-active, capable, and assertive, mirroring the duo’s desire for normal life and their inability to have it. Her story comes full-circle in season 5 when the personal tragedy of her fate is embedded in the wider tragedy of the Winchester family curse and the overall theme of destiny.

Status: Dead as of s5

Importance: Major

On her own: Textbook example of fridging… and that tropes aren’t bad in and of themselves.

Jessica Moore

Comparatively, if anyone doubts fridging can evolve into something meaningful, Jess drives the point home by having no personality and no point but to prop up her boyfriend before she ends up pinned to the ceiling, the reveal of which is the most interesting thing about her entire existence. At best she’s a symbol of Sam’s civilian life, at worst an obstacle to be removed for the story to happen.

Status: Dead as of s5

Importance: Major in terms of manpain, non-existent otherwise

On her own: A cardboard cut-out, barely qualifies as a character

Missouri Moseley

A psychic and the primary reason why John Winchester even knows to wipe his ass. Appears once over the course of the first arc yet everyone wants her to come back years later—that’s how awesome she is. Has this fantastic trait of being compassionate and empathetic while not taking a single speck of shit from anyone, especially when it comes from the two main dumbos who might just as well have been raised in a barn. Is very particular about the pristine state of her coffee table.

Status: Alive as of s5, killed in s13 (wait, what?)

Importance: Major…ly wasted potential

On her own: As strong a character as Bobby Singer, and as worthy of being elevated to the main cast.

Lori Sorensen

The writers can’t figure out why anyone in the universe would care about Jess either so they insert an intentionally awkward romance subplot to convince people the time’s not yet ripe for Sam to stop grieving and start slaying. The result’s… erm… well, awkward. Lori’s naïve, sheltered, devout though accepting of her non-repressed friend, and sort of on a religious crossroads because of her hypocritical preacher father. I guess the virginal power of her virginal virginity does… something in the plot? Primarily a vehicle for Sam to mark the stages of his moving on.

Status: Alive as of s5

Importance: Minor

On her own: A bit done. Like a bit lot. Like a “could be a trope namer” bit lot.

Meg

Boom, baby!

Arguably the chief antagonist of season 1 and one of the best things about it. The first one to point out the pervasive toxicity of the Winchester family business, so props for perceptiveness. Possesses the standard qualities of a lower-level henchman—manipulative, no-nonsense, and quietly sinister which, while not exactly groundbreaking, sets her apart from the other bad guys in the season as they tend to have no distinguishing characteristics at all. Plus Nicki Aycox makes the role seem more unique and “lived-in” by projecting a sense of understated amusement at the two main chucklefucks. Is one of S1’s turning points in blurring the lines between monsters and humanity. Has a face transplant twice—once to have revenge (good on her) and the other time to pursue someone else’s goals again before getting stomped into the ground like a mook.

Status: Alive as of s5 (?), killed in s8

Importance: Major

On her own: The actresses do most of the heavy lifting. Which doesn’t mean I don’t love watching the character burst onto the scene and announcing the end of the Winchester brand of bullshit.

Layla Rourke

A terminal cancer patient in a religious cult, she’s a more mature take on a Lori-type character and the themes of faith and doubt. Serves as a conduit for Dean’s budding survivor guilt, self-loathing, and sense of worthlessness. Is kind and cheerful, with strong hints that she’s relying on forced optimism to get through the days; also understanding of the circumstances of others while realistically freaked about the possibility of death. Weirdly, she enters the episode already in a state of acceptance and leaves it just as accepting when it’s confirmed that yeah, she’ll die soon. All expressions of anger at the injustice and senselessness are left to her mother which somewhat undermines the “struggling” portion of Layla’s character and renders the final scene where she makes peace with her fate a bit hollow.

Status: Implied dead

Importance: Minor in the overall narrative, major in the episode and Dean’s development

On her own: I want to like her, I really do, just… if only she were allowed to get pissed, once.

Cassie Robinson

Dean’s ex and that’s pretty much all there is to her. I struggle to pinpoint a single personality trait of hers—the 2000s idea of a “strong woman” and “not like other girls”, perhaps? Undermined as a love interest because TPTB don’t show the happy or any parts of her relationship with Dean so really, why should anyone care if two sniping assholes with little to no chemistry get back together? Memorable for being in a horribly scored softcore scene which YouTube tries to convince me lasts for shy over a minute, not the week I remember it to. Involved in the show’s first and last attempt at incorporating the issue of anti-black racism.

Status: Alive as of s5

Importance: Minor

On her own: She’s in the racist truck episode. ‘Nuff said.

Sarah Blake

A sophisticated people-person conversationalist with a love of high art and a deep sense of introspection. Ascends to the state of godhood by being able to pull off pigtails while adult. Bonds with Sam over responding to loss by crawling into a shell but deciding to move on. Doesn’t care for your fancy schmancy fine dining, Romeo. Isn’t ashamed to openly talk feelings which includes her explicitly asking Sam if they have a thing going on (honestly, this is such a breath of fresh air for a normcore romance). Despite being scared out of her wits, she refuses to be shoved into the helpless civilian box after learning about the existence of the supernatural; Dean creates a Pinterest wedding board in response.

Status: Alive as of s5, pointlessly dragged back to be murdered in s8

Importance: Minor in the overall narrative, major in the episode and Sam’s development

On her own: A great love interest that has enough writing behind her to fool you into thinking she’s something more.

Up next, whenever I feel like it, seasons 2 and 3!

[dotthings]

15.06. A great wrong has been righted. Hope is allowed in this narrative. I hope Chuck is brooding in his brooding dark castle somewhere, gnashing his teeth and cursing the heroes like a proper villain.

The Dean and Cas breakup and Rowena’s death are in the “Then” so I knew this was going to be a doozy.

Excuse me, random witch I don’t know STOP TOUCHING QUEEN ROWENA’S THINGS THIS INSTANT STOP THAT.

Back in the bunker, Sam is not looking good. Tired, a bit damp-eyed haggard, and randomly cruising weird lore and stuff on the internet, like he’s throwing spaghetti at the wall, any lead, any hunt, just something, that will help them or keep him from feeling helpless. Jared was so great in this ep, showing Sam’s anxiety about Chuck, his ongoing sadness about Rowena, but also hope and joy because of Eileen, and my heart just aches.

Dean’s still stress eating, shoving dry cereal in his mouth and pretending to be cheery and marathoning Scooby Doo (comfort watching). He turns down going with Sam on the milk run and is hanging around in his bathrobe. This is a lot like Dean in S14 after being possessed by AU Michael. Anyone still think Dean has been perfectly okay since 15.03? LOLOLOL. Nor is this just because of finding out Chuck is still out there. Dean’s been stress eating and day drinking and trying to hide behind food pranking before they found out Chuck was back. He’s still reeling and avoiding his Cas feelings, which were complicated by the nihilism Dean feels because of Chuck, and now on top of that, they know that Chuck isn’t actually gone.

While Cas’s coping mechanism is to go fishing, something he says he learned from a friend is a way to find some peace. So Cas is getting away from his feelings by emulating the person causing the feelings he’s trying to avoid right now. Also note, in S11 Cas dealt with trauma by turtling in his room marathoning tv shows, which is also a Dean method of coping with trauma. We get to see Cas standing on his own, an autonomous and competent hunter, and that’s important, but Dean’s impact on Cas, his link with him, their similarities, doesn’t go away.

I really like we get to see Sam jogging. It’s one of those things, like sparring, we’re told happens and don’t get to see. Cas goes fishing, Dean hides out in his bathrobe eating sugary cereal watching Scooby Doo, Sam goes jogging. Everyone’s got their way of coping.

EILEEN!!! EILEEN IS A GHOST IT IS GHOST EILEEN HI EILEEN HI HI!!!!

So she’s been trying to get them to see her and Sam finally does. Little bit of a parallel back to S8 and Dean haunted by seeing Cas everywhere and Cas turns out to be real.

So Eileen needs help getting her soul into Heaven. I’m disappointed she actually really was killed instead of my theories because the way she was killed irritated me so much but I’m really happy that despite that actual narrative mistake where spn mis-stepped, her story isn’t over, this hole in my heart is healing wow thanks spn.

Dean seems weirdly okay with the idea of Sam as heir to Rowena’s magical lore and I honestly expected him to be more resistant but a lot has happened, characters grow, Dean cared about and trusted Rowena. So that’s interesting. He’s for it.

Sam’s sad face is just getting to me all over this episode.

“I need to find my son.” Cas’s sad sad face listening to this distraught parent. Of course he’s going to help her find her son. Of course he is. Of course his fishing trip is over. A hunt found him and of course he can’t turn his back on a parent who wants to save her child. What we see in this ep is Cas enacting what Sam and Dean have been saying about why they do what they do, even if things are miserable and it seems hopeless, but if they help others, that makes things better for the world.

Sam empathizing with Eileen about having been in Hell. Oh, my poor babies.

All right, Columbo, I mean “Agent Worley” is on the case. And the local law enforcement wants to check with his supervisor OH GOD OH GOD THE PHONE IS RINGING IN THE BUNKER DEAN IS ANSWERING IT

“He wants to talk to you” OH THAT’S FINE MY HEART JUST DROPPED TO MY TOES THAT’S COOL COOL COOL

“Sam’s been trying to call you...check your damn messages” and Dean checking on Cas and warning him about Chuck. Listen, I am Cas in this scene, Cas is me. Cas just LOSES IT and so did I. Dean, wtf, my dude, my pet, my love, my dumbass, it was your idea to alienate him, and *now* you’re telling him not to be a stranger, and warning him about the big bad that is a threat to them all, oh Dean, oh honey, you really do suck at being done with Cas, and Cas sucks at being done with you.

So Cas has a smol nervous breakdown because DEAN and rubs his hand hard over his face and can’t hold character as Agent Worley then pulls it together to maintain his cover.

I know, Cas, I know. Dean can be A LOT.

Sam finding Rowena’s journeys has got me all thinking about how Sam goes from blood relative legacy of John’s journal that Sam didn’t really choose but eventually appreciated as legacy to found family legacy of Rowena’s journal, a bond and a legacy Sam chose.

Sam telling Eileen what happened to Rowena OH MY HEART. This episode is a lot.

Eileen trying to comfort Sam and her ghostly hand goes right through him...and at the end of the ep they can touch. I WILL BE SHOUTING ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE.

“Her magic. This is how she kept control.” Sam talks about how Rowena understood how the deck was stacked, Sam talks about Rowena in a way that shows how deeply he understood Rowena. *cries*

Sam wants to bring ghost Eileen back to flesh and blood life. *screaming internally*

Seeing Cas in researchy mode, helping others, giving others hope, being a competent autonomous hunter THIS IS SO GOOD.

Loved the way Sam and Eileen use sign in general. And Sam signing “my brother” to Eileen so she can get help for him as he’s captured by the witches.

Seems weirdly apt the actress who played Chuck’s publisher now plays one of the witches who kidnaps Sam.

We’ve often seen spn use toxic siblings as dark mirrors for Sam and Dean, cautionary notes and red flags. In this ep the toxic sibling mirror seems to allow to highlight the functionlity of Sam and Dean. The witch sister pranks that were malicious and harmful vs Winchester pranks that aren’t harmful, but done out of affection, and to lighten the strain they’re under from what they do.

Enjoyed these scenes with Melly and Cas as Melly talks about her son and how they fight but “we’ll get through.” Relevant familial stuff there, and applies for parents and kids, siblings, or, y’know, whatever pseudo-spousal thing Dean and Cas have going on. Cas also relates to Melly as someone who rejected their expected roles put on them by higher ups in the chain, and wanted something better. Free will.

Yes I so like that Cas gets a win in this ep. He finds the missing son, reunites a family. Melly and her son seem to take the whole supernatural being savior hero thing fairly calmly, considering. And this ep also reminds us, very clearly: Cas is a hero. Sam and Dean are not the only heroes of this story.

I enjoy badass Cas and Cas was an able hunter in this ep but he really is NOT okay. A simple clean kill would have been enough for this djinn, but the way he kept stabbing the monster over and over, splattered in blood that isn’t his own, he’s compensating or something. Cas looked anguished. Cas is dealing with a lot. Feeling rejected by Dean, losing the only family he has, and his anger at Chuck for messing with them all so severely. Cas went to the woods and the lake seeking peace and wound up covered in blood.

Hm, so Cas can heal the boy’s ankle but he struggles to use his grace, which seems to be spluttering like it’s low on fuel. Looks like those human Cas metas are still pointing in likely directions.

“If I stay nothing changes...it’s time for me to get back in the game.” Yes he could stay in the woods and the lake and fish and take the occasional hunt, and hide forever from the ones he still loves but doubts his place and hide from the urgent main fight. But he can’t. Back the game...is also coming home.

Ghost Eileen is a badass and saves Sam HELL YEAH. Rowena’s legacy, Dean racing in last minute, and ghost Eileen, all saved Sam in this ep.

“I learned from the best.” Sam using Rowena’s teaching to defeat the witches. There’s that legacy again.

The spell to restore ghost Eileen to flesh and blood involves a bath that seems ritualistic, with Sam performing the spell. I am NEVER getting over how Sam is shaking with emotion while he courteously keeps his back to her. Never ever ever. And then their hands...finally touching. Clasping each other. And Sam hugging damp Eileen. Sam’s FACE. Oh my god I’m never ever getting over this.

This is so hopeful and joyful and it still hurts, Sam has been through so much and he’s had so much pain, and since Eileen was introduced, she seemed to bring out a light in him that gave me a pang right here *taps chest*. We’re seeing it in this episode. OUCH OUCH MY HEART.

Eileen is a great character in her own right and I love her and disliked how she was killed off so so much and it helps so much that SPN did this and restored her, and Eileen and Sam together, just gets me. Right in the chest.

This last Sam and Dean scene. “I don’t know what’s God and what isn’t” says Dean. HELLO WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING AND SAYING ABOUT DEAN’S STATE OF MIND AND WHY HE’S ACTING THE WAY HE DID TOWARDS CAS.

“We’re the guys who break the rules.” WOW LOOK IT’S MY METAS ENACTED VIA DIALOGUE

Sam is basically taking my position—that while Chuck manipulates some events, he can’t control everything and they make their own choices and do the unpredictable things. While Dean is caught in the nihilism of believing everything was manipulated, almost nothing was real.

Just as I don’t think Chuck wanted Cas to come back in S13 and that was an unpredicted twist, I don’t think Eileen is back due to Chuck’s meddling. Eileen’s spirit sought out Sam and Dean, Rowena’s legacy, her unfinished spell for Mary, is what allows Sam to perform the ritual spell to restore Eileen. As Cas has been tied to Dean’s sense of hope, Eileen has been an immensely hopeful figure for Sam. I don’t think Chuck wants them to have this. Can’t be 100% sure, maybe he wants them to have their hope just so he can crush them even harder, but these relationships being part of breaking out of Chuck’s machine, to make their own rules, find hope despite those machinations, makes sense to me.

“I need my brother.” Yes, you do. You both do. Sam and Dean don’t just need only each other, but they are rule breakers and they do need each other. Team Free Will is essential to break Chuck’s machine, and Team Free Will is Sam & Dean, Dean & Cas, Sam & Cas, and all 3.

While the ice has broken a bit between Dean and Cas in this ep, they still aren’t talking about Cas. But their biggest wild card is on his way home and they are Team Free Rule Breakers, all three of them.

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

13x15 “A Most Holy Man” “You think it could every change things? I mean really change things, stop all the monsters, all the bad...” “That would be nice.”

I never thought I would actually ever say this again while Dabb is showrunner, but I really liked this episode. And there is one thing, one masive thing that is the reason for why I feel this way about this episode and haven’t felt that way for most other episode of S13: It’s that the focus was entirely on the Winchesters. They were front and center and not just set decoration. They were the ones in action, that made choices, were the ones that mattered. And all that, all of that that used to be a given on SPN for years had been drained away throughout S12 and now S13, so this week’s episode gave a little back of what I have been missing dearly for a while. And for this sole reason, that Dean and Sam were the center of the episode I didn’t even mind that narratively and story wise this episode didn’t advance anything at all, but just strengthend further what the entire season has been hammering down with little subtlety: That you fight for the ones you love with all you got and that saving them by extension also means “saving yourself” a tiny bit as well.

I will give a few further thoughts on the episode behind the cut, but before I go there I have to verbalize how much I liked this ending scene. It didn’t feel forced or rushed or out of place or added at the end for sake of “typical SPN endings”, it felt organic and said so much with everything that wasn’t spoken, but delivered through looks and expressions (and yeah, I am sucker for that)- The way you can see Sam seraching for and needing Dean to reassure him that “all will be fine” - like the “stereotypical” younger sibling almost and the way Dean actually truly seems self assured here in a melancholic kind of way where he knows that it’s going to be hard as hell, but that they can pull through, because “he has faith”. Seriously, as a Dean!girl through and through and that theme being so integral to Dean’s arc from S1 and the episode titled that very same way onwards, this little moments made me very happy - because Dean always had faith even when he himself didn’t even know he had it. :’)

Yes, I like the certain sad, but also vaguely hopeful calm this ending scene evokes. The way the camera draws back and shows the brothers actually on eye level again here, not on opposing sides or separated visually, but facing each other and three huge green lights blinking in between them. I am always someone to overanalyze things in terms of silent storytelling and of course before things get better things will get worse towards the season finale, but still if I wanted to read into this visual, I’d say it’s a positive sign.

So yeah, I’m surprised, but this episode imo was one of the better ones in a long long time, now onto the rest of the episode behind the cut.

Alright, so bulletin style.

Of course like with everything under Dabb subtle this episode wasn’t in how the Father Lucca and everything he said and voiced perfectly resonated with the Winchesters and the obstacles they are facing. Whether it was the

“Imagine you woke up one morning and this thing you loved, this thing you and your parents and your children saw every week, this thing you prayed to ever since you were olf enough to form words was just gone - what would you?”

that of course was all about Mary or his monologue about. I mean, just look at their expressions here. It tells the full story.

“Good men doing good things, every day can get better.”

I liked Father Lucca and I really liked the actor too, if I had to choose a character they could definitely bring back (opposed to some others I could definitely live without), he would be among them. I liked how he delivered what the Winchesters needed in a non judgmental way and almost served as something like a therapist but without all the problematical stuff we had in the episode of that nature this season. It seems the Winchesters didn’t really know or realize but to me it felt like after meeting him both felt the weight of their shoulders lifted maybe for a tiny bit for a few seconds. So yeah, liked that character.

What I also really adored was this small exchange between Dean and Father Lucca

due to how deliberately the street light serves as a halo. For imo more than just one “most holy man”. Dean’s and Father’s Lucas entire conversation in the Impala was rather enjoyable as well and imo was made even more interesting due to the train horns - a recurring stylistic device and one that has often been used when talk of the divine has been going on.

So yes I am more than surprised to hear myself say this, but I enjoyed this episode a great deal for the reasons mentioned above. It wasn’t a perfect episode of course. The aproach to the noir genre didn’t work completely for me and the other bad guys/criminals were a bit too cardboard-y overall, but I could live with all of that since the pacing was better and much more than that SPN finally focused on who made the show successful to begin with: the Winchesters. More of that please and less of crappy handled side stories and too many side characters. :)

My rating for this episode solid 7 out of 10. Not in relation to other seasons - there are lightyears between S4/5 or S9/19 to what we see now, but within S13 to me this was one of the stronger episodes.

[pray4jensen]

Cowboy Boyfriends

🤠❤️1356 words, deancas, an imagined 13x06 where they share rooms and ride a horse together and get stuck in a closet because why not…🐴   

Okay. Dean tries. He really does. He tells himself to rein it in. He tells himself Conceal, don’t feel, even as he rushes forward to grab Cas’ duffel bag and carry it into the motel for him (they’ll all think that he’s just being a good friend, right?). He tells himself, Be careful, damn it, to stop reaching out to touch Cas on the shoulder so much, to ask him if he’s doing okay even if Cas is fine and it’s only been about twenty seconds since he last confirmed that particular fact. But…he’s hopeless. Dean knows that about himself. He’s hopeless because he’s got a lot of feelings swirling inside his chest and he’s not sure how he’s going to survive the next twenty-four hours without blabbing all of them.

So it’s no surprise that he ushers them all into the western-themed motel with a gargantuan grin splitting his face. It’s no surprise that Sam smiles softly and shakes his head, maybe a little embarrassed at his brother’s antics when Dean greets the receptionist with an overly-enthusiastic, Howdy (“God, Dean, you’re not five!” Sam scolds), even if the receptionist’s polite and she rallies back Dean’s energetic salutation with one of her own.

And when the rooms are paid for and Sam’s starting to assume that he’ll be sharing with him, Dean’s gone so far off the rails that he just can’t help himself.

He yanks a bewildered Cas inside and slams the door shut in Sam’s face.

“I, uh, thought we could use some quality time,” he tells Cas and he can’t stop the way that his face goes red at that.

The thing is, the get-up, it’s important. It helps them fit in with the locale, connect with the people better, and it just makes it all around easier to question them if they wear what’s ordinary hereabouts. Or at least that’s what Dean tells himself. Or at least that’s the answer that he gives the members of Team Free Will + Satan’s Spawn when he spots the shop toting authentic western wear and drags them inside.

“He really likes cowboys,” Jack observes and Dean tries not to let a stupid pleased smile cross his face when he hears Cas’ grumpy reply.

The rest of the time, he eagerly flits from one corner of the store to the other. He ushers Cas around, pushing him gently on the back in the direction of whatever he’s interested in while Jack dubiously backs away when Dean throws him a brief considering look. He fusses over Cas’ clothes, makes him try on twenty-three, twenty-seven, thirty hats. But when Cas picks the ugliest straw hat of the bunch and gives him a goofy smile, Dean falls head over heels all over again and buys it for him right away.

Sam and Jack loiter in the corner behind a coat rack and hope he doesn’t single them out next for a cowboy makeover (but truth be told, they have nothing to worry about).

Alright. So maybe he’s bad at hiding it, his feelings. Maybe he can’t stop himself from throwing Cas heated looks whenever he sees him. Maybe the damn cowboy get-up was important because Dean feels a certain way about it, and with Cas mixed in with all of his fantasies, maybe that’s something that’s a little harder to swallow and brush off.

Something about his behaviour—so maybe it has Sam noticing. Sam frowns at him when he sees Dean standing so close to Cas, and it’s not just a hand on the shoulder anymore. Sam watches him, watches how Dean’s got an arm slung around Cas as they observe the latest crime scene, and maybe Sam has an epiphany then. Maybe that’s what gets him to say, “How about Jack and I head over to the graveyard? Save some investigation time by splitting up.”

When Dean gives him a nod, he feels like he’s acknowledging something else.

Okay, he’s stupidly excited. His heart shouldn’t be racing like this, at the knowledge that he’s gotta ride after the gunslinger, after the entity that’s been terrorizing this small western town, but he is.  

He swings into the saddle like an expert. He’s got his hand outstretched to Cas without a second thought, even as he sees Cas going for another horse.

Cas hesitates. For a moment. But there’s logic in them going at it together and it only takes a split second for Cas to grab his hand and take his seat behind Dean.

Cas’ arms wrap around his waist.

They press together, snug and warm and tight.

When Cas tentatively rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder, Dean fumbles for a moment, brushes his hand against the one that Cas has got on his hip for maybe some reason that he’s perfectly well aware of.

Then he takes the reins.

They aim the rifle together when they take a shot at the gunslinger mid-chase.

He’s not sure what makes the situation take this drastic turn.

One moment, they’re winning and the gunslinger’s looking like a goner, but then God knows what happens and Dean and Cas are making a run for it, sprinting side by side, as fast they can to get away.

They end up at an old saloon. They end up there because of course this town’s got one, abandoned and run-down from 1898, and Dean scrambles into the nearest hiding spot, pulls Cas by the scruff of his neck into a closet that can barely fit them both.

He shuts the door.

It’s dusty and hot and they both pant to catch their breaths.

It takes some difficult manoeuvring. The closet door’s splintered with a gaping hole on one side, so they squeeze up in the opposite corner, toss their hats onto the floor where the gunslinger won’t be able to see them, and Dean’s got his back pressed flat up against Cas’ chest and maybe—maybe just for a damn moment—he forgets that they’re in danger.

Cas is breathing quick and reassuringly against his ear. Dean squeezes his eyes shut and collects himself.

Then they hear the creak of the saloon doors swinging open.

It’s kind of fucking terrifying.

The gunslinger’s firing his pistol haphazardly, and Dean doesn’t know how he doesn’t have to stop and reload after every bullet (but he’s an entity and maybe that means magic bullets).

A bullet flies through the hole in the closet, and then Dean’s being manhandled, by Cas, turning them around so that Dean’s shoved up against the wall, shielded from the spray of bullets by Cas’ body.

“Hey!” Dean hisses angrily, and he struggles to turn around again, until they’re chest to chest. “You don’t get to be noble, okay? You’re not dying on me again.”

But, “I’m an angel,” Cas says, just as a bullet comes flying through the wood and lodges itself into Cas’ arm.

It doesn’t seem to matter that he’s an angel.

The bullets are magic and Dean’s heart almost stops when he starts seeing blue grace leak from the wound.

It’s the heat of the moment.

It’s the knowledge that they’re both probably going to die if Sam and Jack don’t find them, so Dean takes Cas by the lapels of his coat and kisses him.

They get so desperate that they don’t notice when Sam and Jack do run in, when they save the day and banish the entity, because all Dean can think about is Cas, the only thing that he can hear is the drumming of his heart pounding in his ears.

They kiss so intensely that they fumble and trip and come crashing right out of the closet.

“Father?” Jack says and he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

They end up booking a few more nights at the motel.

They end up doing that while Sam nudges Jack hastily towards a bus and tells him that they’re going home without Dean or Cas.

“C’mon,” Sam says with a smile. “Let them enjoy their honeymoon.”

So that’s what Dean and Cas do. That’s what they do right up to the moment where the motel charges them $123,457 for damaged furniture because sex with an angel is loud enough to warrant a noise complaint and wild enough to destroy an entire room.

They flee.

But they’re happy. 

(s13 codas)

[flyingfish1]

“What troubles you?”

Last season, I wrote this post about the parallels between 12x12 and the Arthurian legend of the Wounded King.

I was reminded of that post the other day and I went, “!!!!!!!!” because of how perfectly it’s fitting into s13’s theme of clarification/honesty/communication: reaching out—asking, “What’s wrong?”—and getting an honest answer. What’s troubling Dean? What’s troubling Cas? They need to ask and answer those questions honestly if they want to heal and get what they want out of life.

Quick summary: The Wounded King is the guardian of the Holy Grail. A knight on a quest to find the Grail arrives at the Grail Castle to find that the king is suffering terribly of a lance wound to the thigh. The wound is caused by magic and it won’t heal. The Wounded King’s kingdom is suffering because he can’t adequately protect it—he can’t ride or fight—all he can do is fish (he’s sometimes known as The Fisher King, too). To heal the King, the Grail Knight must ask the Grail Questions, one of which is, “What troubles you?” Once he understands, he can heal the King and win the Holy Grail.

Communication and understanding heal you of your wounds and get you the goal of your quest. Ahh, foreshadowing!!

In 12x12, Cas is the Wounded King (with Ramiel playing the part of the grail guardian and the Fisher King. Sometimes those are separate characters in the old legends, too.)

(x)

It’s interesting to look back at season 12 and see that for all the communication in 12x12, Cas does still die at the end of the season. “I love all of you”/“You’re family” is enough to heal Cas and save his life, but only temporarily—only in that one episode. It’s not enough to get him out of the cosmic crosshairs. There are still some things that are left unasked/unanswered, and so he dies.

In season 13, Dean is the Wounded King, I’d say. 

The Wounded Hunter? c:

Cas’ death = the wound that will never heal It’s the thing that’s emotionally destroying Dean and leaving him constantly on the verge of death from 13x01-13x05 (dying in Patience’s vision; getting nearly killed by MotWs again and again; killing himself to get into the Veil and meet Billie). It’s preventing him from being able to do his job properly, also.

“How are you feeling about losing Cas?” = “What troubles you?”/The Grail Question He’s been getting asked that over and over again in various ways—by Sam, by Billie—and he’s been answering. Every time he truthfully explains how he’s feeling, he and Cas get a little bit closer to their reunion (as a lot of other people have pointed out!). Dean admits that he can’t move past Cas’ death, and Jack wakes Cas up in the Empty. Dean says the he has no faith anymore, and Cas gets himself resurrected. Dean tells Billie that he feels as though he doesn’t matter and that he’s fine with dying, and Billie resurrects him. Dean talks about his lack of faith some more and says that he needs a win, and Cas calls him to tell him he’s alive. Each bit of honest communication gets Dean a little bit closer to being finally healed of the horrible wound that is the loss of Cas.

Cas, alive and with Dean = The Holy Grail Well. That’s a pretty big win, all right :) And as of 13x07, he’s just out of Dean’s reach again. I guess we can say that Dean’s grail quest isn’t over. It’ll be very interesting to see what other tasks he has to complete, what other questions he has to answer, what other wounds he has to heal, to get him back.

[awed-frog]

You think Sam's turning into an unlikable character? I mean I know he has flaws he neess to address, but that seems a little extreme.

Look, I’m sure we all perceive this differently and that’s okay, but if I didn’t know anything about Sam - if I’d just started watching this show last night - then yes, I’d absolutely hate him. And that makes me sad, because in the beginning, it was mostly Sam I fell in love with - he was this stubborn, smart, incredibly brave guy who was going against everything he’d ever known on a point of honour - and wow. But now - as I said in my meta, I don’t think that’s his fault, or even character development - I’m inclined to see it as weird writing caused by several factors - so now, Sam is - I’m sorry, but he’s cold. Over the last four episodes (as plenty of times before), Dean’s had the measure of him way more than Sam’s understood himself. Because Dean is right - Sam doesn’t care about Jack. I know he said so, and maybe he even thought he meant it, but does he? Thing is, even when Sam does incredibly daring and stupid things to save Dean, he mostly does them - as he says himself - because he ‘can’t let Dean down again’ or something like that, which means he’s not doing those things for Dean’s benefit, exactly, but because he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t act that way. Right now, Sam is not thinking about Cas (because the writers won’t let him), and of course he doesn’t give a damn about Crowley (even if Dean does, which means Sam should), and we just learned he wants to save Mary not for Mary’s sake, but because he feels he deserves to have a relationship with her - see the difference? So that’s why I think that deep down, Sam doesn’t really care about Jack - what he meant with his little speech is that he won’t chuck Jack out of the Bunker and let him starve even if it turns out that Jack can’t help them, because Sam’s a good guy with a solid moral compass and I’m not arguing otherwise, but that’s very different form the instinctive, profound, immediate empathy Dean feels for mostly anyone. Dean connects to people in a way Sam doesn’t, or can’t, and this is not news, and it’s not bad, either - we’re all different and it’s perfectly fine - but the writers are now exacerbating this aspect of Sam’s personality and coding it as a Good Thing, and yes, to me, that makes Sam more than slightly unlikable. I mean, look at what happened: in one week, they’ve lost several hunters (and they were bound to know some of them), and Eileen, and Rowena (they did work with her a lot, especially Sam), and Crowley, and Kelly (and they did promise to help her, also it’s basically Sam’s fault if Lucifer got out and ended up sleeping with her), and Mary, and Cas. It’s a huge emotional shock, and, again, Dean is right here - Sam is in complete denial - he acts like nothing’s wrong, focuses all his attention on Jack because he secretly hopes he can get Mary back, dismisses his brother’s grief completely (and, come on, he knows how Dean feels about Cas - even if it’s platonic, it’s some deep shit), suddenly doesn’t give a damn about the bumper sticker (“Saving people means saving all of the people, Dean” - remember that?), is not even interested in helping an old friend of the family like Missouri, and treats Jack - well - he doesn’t treat Jack well, because, again, I’m believing Dean on this one - if Jack had no special powers, I really doubt Sam would be making him PB&Js - his usual MO with monster attacks victims is remind them he was a freak too and yet survived, ‘so, you’ll see - you’ll be alright’, and then send them on their merry way. Like, despite his deep talk and seemingly deep connection with Magda, he never even noticed she’d died, like, three hours after they’d left Iowa, which means he wasn’t trying to keep in touch with her, and that doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. And seriously, the way he acts with Dean is beyond dickish - how he says it’s Dean’s fault if Jack’s messed up, that it’s Dean’s responsibility to fix him, and, most of all, that John’s abusive parenting ‘worked’ for Dean - that’s very nearly unforgivable, especially considering Sam’s had a front row seat to how dysfunctional that parenting made Dean - and I’m thinking about the obvious here - the drugs, the alcohol, the self-hatred, the self-harm, the guilt - the utter impossibility to form a solid, healthy romantic relationship - seriously, what the hell, Sam? So, yeah - personally, I’m frustrated beyond belief, because Sam - they always write him as completely irrelevant in the narrative (and why?), but S13 so far - he’s been so callous he’s definitely out of character. #NotMySam, as John Oliver would put it.

[mittensmorgul]

Hi! By canon I mean them both realized that they feel the same way. And I may be wrong, but I don't see it in S12. (Sorry my English, by the way)

Hi… your English is fine! And again, this is really honestly impossible to speculate on for me, because the way *I* see it, they kind of do know it. I mean… they think there’s nothing they can really do about any of it, but they aren’t entirely ignorant of the fact that they’d both literally die for each other, despite both of them only wanting the other to live for them.

I mean, that’s canon. And the way it’s been framed for years is a pinboard frame of romantic tropes.

Technically it’s all still subtext, but that doesn’t mean it’s “imaginary” or whatever. Which gets us into the “subtext is a valid layer of the text that the show itself has textually invited us to examine critically” which opens up the gigantic can of worms about things like authorial intent and acting choices and editing choices and visual narrative… and all the rest of the choices that go into producing the end product we get to watch and interpret.

So for me, I’m waiting for some sort of mutual acknowledgement that they understand the other doesn’t WANT them to act as their guardian, and that they don’t just NEED each other, but they WANT each other. And so far in s13, that’s not just the subtext of the story, but one of the main pillars of the narrative structure itself. Dean’s grief over Cas’s death is textually his primary motivation for everything he’s done and everything he’s felt in the last three episodes.

They’ve clarified the I/we conundrum, separating out how Dean feels compared to how Sam feels as Cas’s “family” and made it impossible for Dean to continue hiding behind that vague admission.

And once again, because people still seem confused about this… META WRITERS AREN’T PSYCHICS! WE ARE NOT TRYING TO PREDICT THE FUTURE! THAT’S SPECULATION. THAT IS NOT META.

And again, because I’ve said it so many times, I HATE SPECULATION!!!!!

I honestly have very little interest in trying to predict what may happen on the show. I find it takes all the fun out of actually watching the show for me.

It also makes it hilarious when I get the whackadoodle anti’s sending me anons like, “You’re delusional for thinking destiel will be canon in s13″ or whatever, because I’m like… “Well, you’re delusional for thinking I’ve ever actually said that…” Because again, I HATE SPECULATION.

(From an academic standpoint, I’ve never read a single argument from an anti that even merited engagement in a debate, because they’re all strawmen or ad hominem attacks, or the most ridiculous sounding “because I said so” sorts of nonsense. Like, sure Jan.)

Reducing all the meta to this “but when will it go canon?!” question is just… missing the entire point of what meta even is. It’s like… we’ve written literally millions upon millions of words about practically every aspect of this show, because that’s the part we find fascinating. And then somehow the tl;dr takeaway of that entire endeavor seems to be “BUT WHEN ARE THEY GONNA KISS?!” And it’s just frustrating.

Sorry, I’m not upset with you. More like this persistent misconception about what the point of meta is in the first place.

As for how I’d *personally enjoy* seeing it go canon? Please see my entire AO3 account. Some people speculate, I write fic where I get to have any ending I want. And I’ve written dozens.

I can’t tell anyone else how to watch the show, how to interpret canon. All I can do is keep writing about how *I* personally see canon unfolding.

Sorry I turned your question into a long and seemingly off-topic ramble, but I am tired. For a defense of my viewpoint on this, please see my whole entire blog (except the cat gifs, I guess. They’re probably not gonna give anyone any insight into how I analyze and view this show. Then again, even Chuck enjoys a good set of cat gifs.)

I analyze this show for fun. I continue watching for fun. Making predictions about whether or not the characters will continue along the arcs that (in all honesty) seem kind of obvious at this point… I mean, I am perfectly willing to give the Magic 8 Ball answer and say “Signs Point To Yes” or whatever, but as to the rest of it? The details of when and how all of it will actually happen on the show? Trying to guess how that will happen is just a pointless waste of time. For *me personally,* trying to do so defeats the entire purpose of even watching the show in the first place. It takes all the fun out of it for me.

Based on my understanding of how stories work, from a lifetime of media consumption and a decade of writing semi-professionally, from knowing hundreds of writers and others in the publishing industry (because that is my background– not television production or screenwriting, but the concepts and storytelling function on the same principles), at best I can make vague guesses based on the sum total of the story to this point, and extrapolate out how those particular narrative trajectories may continue into the future.

NO ONE CAN SAY FOR SURE IF THOSE PROJECTIONS WILL ACTUALLY MANIFEST IN REALITY. Except by continuing to watch the show, watching those narrative and character arcs evolve.

We can read the broad strokes, the major narrative themes, the character development and motivation... and we can make educated guesses about these main themes going forward based on what’s happened so far, because this is how storytelling works. There are basic rules that apply to how a narrative is structured, and we all have a subconscious understanding of it just from having consumed stories our entire lives. We’re not working magic here, we’re just paying attention, because this is just our particular brand of nerdery, you know? We’re like that one jerk in the audience at a magic show who’s figured out how all the tricks work. We can’t guess which specific trick is coming up next, but we probably have a general idea based on the story the magician is trying to tell-- his last three tricks have involved small animals appearing and disappearing, but now he’s taking off his hat... I bet he’s got a rabbit or something hidden in there... And once we see it what he pulls out of the hat, we can explain how and why he did it.

I really hope this makes sense, but I’m so tired of being asked to essentially ruin my own enjoyment of the show in order to pretend like I have some sort of crystal ball, or that I even have an opinion about what will or should happen in canon. It’s just not how I approach the show, or what the point of meta even is.

[tinkdw]

I know the running theory is that spn might end by season 14. But television is a business. If they end up extending it a couple seasons more than you predicted, any thoughts (or preferences) for how they would do so? Cool blog btw

Yeah they absolutely might, it’s money at the end of the day :)

The reason many of us feel it is winding down is that they’re tying up the boys’ endgames very very quickly in relation to how slow it has been in the past, it’s like…11 years of foreplay and in a couple of episodes spread over s12 they just went WAM BAM!

Ofc they set it all up over those 11 years so that it wouldn’t be out of the blue, but the feel is kinda like the big themes and big ‘things’ that need to be addressed were done so in season 12 and if this continues on course a natural ending around season 14 makes sense, due to each of TFW coming to some kind of a climax around the s12 finale and the next part seeming to be a denouement (Sam = self forgiveness/leadership, Dean = self acceptance/facing his past to move forwards, Cas = depression arc/belonging/humanity). Of course some more than others, I expect Sam and Cas both to have a much bigger climax in s13 for example.

So yeah there are still a lot of things for the boys to work on so of course it’s not likely to be DONE really quickly, even those who said they felt s13 would be the last are now I believe changing to think probably s14 and hey it could be that s14 isn’t the last, in which case we should see another added loop to the spiral, more regression / reasons why they can’t move forwards like Sam’s codependency arc in s8, Dean’s MoC arc that stagnated his for years, Cas’ depression arc that stops him moving forwards with the belonging/humanity arc…

All those things are basically ways to draw out the story and ‘put it on hold’ because it’s I believe relatively clear what their endgames ARE, see above ^^^.

They absolutely could drag it out, in which case fine, as long as it does eventually get to where it’s been telling us it’s going, I’m down for that :) I would rather they didn’t or if they did they chose a way to make it drag out that wasn’t negative for the boys though, something that is an exterior threat/influence, where they can be more ‘together’ and much closer to their endgames, dare I say it, not perfectly already at their endgames because that would lead to a plot driven story rather than character driven which is boring, we need them to be finding themselves until the last couple of episodes imo, where, fully ‘finished’ they can defeat the last big bad and win together as the best they they are. 

Perhaps Sam starts taking leadership of the MoL/Hunter community and comes into trouble trying to lead and meanwhile is learning magic but also hasn’t fully accomplished it yet, maybe Dean does come out as bi and he and Cas are textually a thing that is likely going to happen, making the GA notice and root for it, but it hasn’t happened yet, maybe Cas is with the boys and has his thing going with Dean but they’re not together and he’s not human yet or perhaps he’s human but there’s a whole arc around his belonging / fitting in / learning to be human that still has to be played out. Then only at the end is Sam leading and doing a great job, is a good witch, Dean learns to say I love you and to have it said back to him, they have a family all around them, Cas is happy and fulfilled as human, he gets validation for who he is etc etc etc.

I would love it if they didn’t just regress them again basically, but ‘put it on hold’ in a way that enabled them to be better, more developed versions of their characters cos it’s kinda getting old now imo, I would like to see more of them doing better, happier if not fully ‘finished’ with their stories. But this is my wishlist… I don’t think it’s necessarily likely.

That’s why my more ‘solid’ speculation is all meta-based and is ENDGAME.

All the season 13 speculations I make, same as my season 12 speculation, are short term ‘hey I think this will probably happen’ and I see a theme happening around ‘this’ speculation rather than actual ‘this is DEFINITELY going to happen in this episode/in this season’ speculation.

I have thoughts and themes for individual episodes in season 13 however because I did for season 12 and was right about my gut instinct so I am a smug irritating sob who will continue to do this until I’m proved consistently wrong, because I enjoy the speculation and my followers seem to enjoy it too. 

I have it all mapped out for where I would take the story now and what I believe they are doing, because I enjoy thinking about this and ticking or crossing things off the list, potentially reassessing and understanding it from a different angle if I am wrong about something (ie. I thought we would see Eileen again in the finale, but now I know it actually makes much more sense if she is back between 13x02-06 if she is back at all and I might be totally wrong and she might be totally dead, in which case I will reassess!).

Part of what I enjoy about it though too is that I will not be upset if I’m wrong, I just enjoy thinking about it and when I’m right it’s FUN. 

If anyone wants to take my word for gospel, well, they shouldn’t, I definitely don’t. Chuck I couldn’t imagine being so arrogant that I’d think I was so absolutely right and couldn’t be wrong about something as to get upset about it if I was wrong. I don’t work for the show, I just read what I read and I see what I see and so far I’ve enjoyed it so much and been right so I’ll keep going for now :)

In terms of when the show ends, yeah, basically if it goes on for longer then I just see them putting it on hold but the endgame speculation still stands unless they throw spanners in the works that go against 12 years worth of narrative, which they absolutely could do, who knows! :)

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 7x09: “How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters”

THEN: Leviathans are confident, smart, and unstoppable. Crowley tips the Winchesters off about Dick, and is stepping aside so the bros can wipe out Dick and the Leviathan. Frank Devereaux and the new lifestyle he’s set up for the boys. Dean is downspiraling and Sam is too.

We got two dumb dumbs “glamping”. What is even the point??

RIP first victim. Killed by unseen monster.

Hammonton, New Jersey.

Back to squatting.

Bobby! I’m gonna cherish every moment you’re on screen. :(

“Weeks, guys. Weeks. We've been living with cold showers, cold Hot Pockets, cold freaking everything. I mean, this is the bottom that we're living in.” That is a new low for them.

Welp. There goes the power.

“Stop trying to wrestle with the big picture, son. You're gonna hurt your head.“ Sage advice, Bobby.

The Jersey Devil!

“Something's out there in the woods. Hey, we're going honest to goodness wilderness hunting. I haven't used my .30-30 in a while.” Bobby’s going back to old roots.

“Sam?”

“High-end camper. TV, A.C., Wi-Fi. Back to nature, zero inconvenience.”

“That’s idiotic.”

It absolutely is.

Biggersons.

Ranger Rick Evans, who is stoned af.

“Come to think of it, I haven't seen Phil in a couple of days. He's supposed to call from whatever station he's checking off.”

“But you think maybe your assistant chief ranger might be missing?”

“I should probably report that.”

w o w

Suited up Bobby. Always a fave of mine.

“Hey, uh, douchewad, a hostess will seat you. Do I look like a freaking hostess?“

“Do you want to look like a hostess?”

What exactly was Brandon’s problem??

Dean...hon.

“Sidewinder soup and salad combo goes to Big Bird. TDK slammer for Ken doll. And a little heart-smart for creepy uncle.”

I wouldn’t tip at all, fuck this dude.

“New Pepperjack Turducken Slammer.”  Dean would fall for that.

“Bunch of birds shoved up inside each other. Shouldn't play God like that.” hahahaa.

Bobby in his element.

Sharing old stories.

“You used to take us hunting. Remember? Dad had a case, he'd just dump us on you. Shoot, you must have taught us most of the outdoor tracking we know.”

“Yeah, what I could get to stick. I never could get you little grubs to pull a trigger on a single deer.”

They found Phil.

And now the monster has Ranger Rick.

“It's got him up in the trees. Lights off.”

“What?”

“Wait, Bobby, you think that's really a good idea?”

“Shut up, shut off, and listen.”

Bobby is a fucking legend.

“Damn thing’s eating Rick.”

“Man, I liked Rick.”

Not now, Dean. But that was the first indicator that he was stoned.

Bobby shot and hit that thing with both eyes closed, WHAT A LEGEND.

That thing is literally the most disgusting looking thing ever.

RIP monster. Killed by Sam, Dean, and Bobby.

Gerald Browder.

Ranger Rick, pine cone, a pack of gum with the wrapper still on, more humans, a cat’s head. Things found in Gerald’s stomach.

I mean...this is disgusting.

“Is that right? Do rats shake their ass, or is it something else? Eh.”

fff ahahaha. I love stoned!Dean.

I love how they swan wrapped it.

“I'm fine! I -- I actually feel great. The best I've felt in a couple months. Cas? Black goo? I don't even care anymore. And you know what's even better? I don't care that I don't care.” Iconic.

EWW. That is literally like that one episode of Spongebob.

“I think you pissed of my sandwich.” hahaha.

“If I wasn't so chilled out right now, I would puke.” lmaaooo. I love ya, honey.

Now Dean’s wiped out.

Sam worries about Dean.

“... and we lost Cas. I mean, you ever feel like he's -- he's going through the same motions but he's not the same Dean, you know?”

“You know, you worry about him. All he does is worry about you. Who's left to live their own life here?”

I’ll die on the “Bobby was a good father to Sam and Dean” hill.

Sam’s hand cut coping mechanism.

Get in the car!

Brandon! You turd.

Dean’s up again.

Edgar’s back.

So is Dr. Gaines!

RIP weirdo gross monsters. Burned to death.

Bobby had his heart to heart with Sam. Now it’s Dean’s turn.

“I've seen a lot of hunters live and die. You're starting to talk like one of the dead ones, Dean.”

Can you imagine Bobby trying to deal with S13 “just lost Cas and Mary” Dean?? He’d go out of his mind with worry.

Ouch, a Ben and Lisa mention.

“Now, you find your reasons to get back in the game. I don't care if it's love or spite or a ten-dollar bet.”

“You die before me and I’ll kill ya.” A little too late for that Bobbers, but I know what you mean. And I also know that you don’t have to worry about that...

The Montage of Dick Roman.

“The Rise of Dick” huehuehue

“A vocal member of the NRA and a steadfast supporter of the second amendment--” Dick Roman would fit right in today, jeez.

“Remember when Crowley kept going on about hating Dick? I thought he was just being general.” Really??

“The food additive that I've introduced into the Turducken has a near-100% rate of effectiveness. Once the subject tries it, they crave more within a few hours. With the very first dose, it starts to work on their DNA, slowing their metabolism, causing weight gain, and dampening their emotional range, which makes them perfectly complacent.” Thank god Sam and Bobby stopped Dean from eating anymore.

RIP grandma.

“I want to turn this little mistake into a big fat teachable moment. Will you help me with that?” He’s dead.

“Listen, sir, I will do anything. I will give anything to make this right.” Shouldn’t have said that.

RIP Leviathan Dr. Gaines. Death by bibbing.

NOO, they got Bobby. God no, it’s coming.

“Dean, there are at least four Leviathans out there. We don't even know how to kill one.” You know how to slow them down.

Bobby pretending to be unconscious, haha.

“So you got Dick Roman.”

“We can have whoever we want. We could have you, for example. If you were worth the effort.”

Ooohhh, I’m being reminded on why I hate this jackass.

“Like the late, great, actual Dick Roman used to say to the whores he'd kick out of the presidential suite... ‘cute don't quite hack it, sugar.’” Real Dick Roman was an asshole too.

“I'm gonna eat you, Bob.” I know for a fact you won’t, so fuck you.

The power of Power Clean!

Bobby should’ve just taken the files and the loaded gun and gotten out of there sooner.

Fuck, Bobby saved Sam there.

Bobby run!

Oh god, I know it’s coming. My stomach’s in knots.

There it went.

Fuck me.

[amwritingmeta]

Hello. I don't know if you already made something about it but I wanted to know what is your opinion on Cas/Chuck relation. We saw a lot about Cas loosing his faith in Chuck for a long time now but very little on Chuck's part. I feel like I'm missing something, some sort of closure. Am I the only one?

Hello, my dearling!

I have talked about Cas’ relationship with Chuck, but I do believe it was ages ago, and well before we got Chuck as the Big Bad, so let’s revisit! *fun!!*

The thing about this is that I feel there’s a pattern with them that has everything to do with the “disposable” line fed to Cas in S11. For Cas to believe himself disposable, he can’t have his father figure acknowledge him, which is why they didn’t exchange a word (and barely a glance) once the end of S11 rolled around. 

Add to that the fact that Cas, by S11, had already been so far removed from Heaven and had gotten so much closer to his own humanity and we see how there’s even more reason for why there wouldn’t be a scene between them. We got Lucifer confronting Chuck instead, and I would say there were a lot of Cas’ frustrations with his father baked into Lucifer’s.

Headcanon would be that Cas also had his eyes fully opened to the darker sides of his father’s nature via Luci’s knowledge of Chuck’s motivations: to be worshipped. 

Cas didn’t entirely embrace this knowledge, didn’t entirely believe it, not even when AU!Michael brought the darker sides into the light, underlining their creator’s nonchalance and casual cruelty. It wasn’t until Chuck’s sadistic side finally and truly revealed itself that Cas saw God for what he truly is, and by then Cas had already confronted and beaten back his own Shadow figure enough for him to have no need to personally confront this one.

Chuck killed Jack, but Cas has no drive - not like Dean does - to see Chuck dead over it. Cas holds no vendetta, and he’s clear-eyed enough to see the journey he’s undertaken as the root of his personal growth, not merely an expression of Chuck’s manipulations, providing a beautiful and necessary contrast to how Dean is entertaining an opposite view in that he feels as though all his choices have been pointless and all the pain and suffering has been pushed on him for nothing, and he can’t reconcile himself with the idea that this is only a half-truth, and one that he’s actively choosing to believe in. *gah dean gah!* *because the POV you need to reach through your inner work is the POV that Cas has held ever since Chuck’s true nature was revealed!!* *gah!!*

Now, the transition of Dean as Cas’ marker for humanity, to Cas becoming the marker for humanity for Jack has happened gradually, ever since the beginning of S13, but I do believe the transition is complete. After Cas’ speech in 15x15 it’s hard to think otherwise.

Cas knows who he is, where he belongs, and what he must do: find another way. So that he can save Jack. 

Cas is stepping into his core trait of acting the shield, rather than playing the role of weapon, showing internal balance and a connection to his own priorities that is utterly thrilling! 

Sure, it more or less tells us that there’s no narrative need for human!Cas and, hey, as much as I’ve always wished for that to be what the narrative has been driving him towards, he’s still more human now than he ever was. So he’ll live forever and watch Dean and Sam die and have to go chill with them in their Heavens, so what? That’s fiiiiiiine. 

No, really, as long as they end up not dead, it’s fine.

And I get the strong sense they might not. End up dead. *yay!* I mean, it’s perfectly clear that Dean and Sam will live to fight another day, what with Jensen mentioning the possible probability of bringing the boys back for a six episode smashravaganza in five years or so. But what I mean is: they may not all of them end up dead. Even Jack might live! *happy days!* They might also not all end up together but that’s for other meta to speculate on! I’m more hopeful than ever that we’ll get a balanced ending, though. *g a h*

Anyway: Chuck.

I understand where you’re coming from 100%, but personally I don’t feel the need for there to be an exchange to cap off Cas’ relationship with Chuck, because of all the above mentioned reasons. Make sense? 

Chuck isn’t really figuring that hard in Cas’ progression right now, apart from how he’s affecting Jack. 

Cas has already let go of his earlier need for his father figure to act as a role model. “Because God commanded it” is a long, long time ago. “Give me a sign” is as well. Cas is well beyond these stages of internal confusion. And Chuck the Big Bad, as said, holds no real sway over Cas’ choices anymore. Chuck’s words and deeds no longer serve to inform anything that Cas does, apart from acting as a spur for action, for thinking outside of the box, for tapping into his protectiveness and healthy father figure traits in order to act as a guide to his own son.

In Dean’s progression, however, Chuck is now the ultimate Shadow figure, embodying the final last push for Dean to truly confront himself, look himself in the eye, and let go of the self-hatred, fear and faithlessness. Let go of his need for control and start trusting. Trusting that, in spite of everything, good things do happen and good things can last. If you let yourself feel how much you want them. If you go for it without holding yourself back.

Come on, Dean!!

And this is my reading of this narrative so pinches of salt, but with Jack as representative of Dean’s inner child, it feels pretty bleak if he were to die. And though I can take the Shadow (Chuck) needing to be symbolically eradicated, I remain skeptical, because destruction is not integration... Anyway, more on this in upcoming metas!

I’ll leave you with this: I’m intrigued by how the narrative - which technically means Chuck - has always treated Cas as a secondary character, even though it’s perfectly clear that he’s integral to the growth of Dean, and by proximity Sam as well. Cas now stepping in to find this other way makes sense to me, because I do believe if an unforeseen blow is to be dealt to Chuck, it should come from Cas, whom he’s always sort of overlooked. Even when sitting down to write his ending at Becky’s desk, there’s the Sam and Dean Poppies, yeah? As are two feathers. Sam and Dean presides, as ever, at the forefront, but those feathers, for those of us who love them, are hard to miss.

I hope that answers your question! Bit of spec in there too, but I’m in a speculative mood as I finally watched 15x15 and 15x16 back-to-back last night and oh boy the old cogs are a-turning. :)

Hope you’re well, lovely!

xx