#s. it's because you taste like home. creek. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hostilemuppet · 9 months ago

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Brozone & Acquaintances: Fame and Blunders (The Rise And Fall, The Epic Highs And Lows Of Trolltwt) Part Seven

The Lucky Seventh Chapter: Seven TheyFAB Exes: The Seven Stages of Internet Beef

Viva: After “practising” throwing herself down the stairs for totally innocent and non blackmail reasons, Viva’s egg breaks. She is livid, not just because it’s her baby, but bc she is a fucking monster and only wanted the baby to control Clay, who still didn’t even know she was eggnant. Luckily........

Broppy: They’re expecting! They’re sooooooo happy, they just can’t wait to tell everyone! Poppy insists they get to tell her sister first, and Branch just cant say no to her ♥. However, Viva “talks some sense into them”. How can they have a kid? So soon? Poppy’s barely in her mid 20s! They’re not even MARRIED, are they really going to have a kid out of wedlock? What if they break up? You’d really traumatise that poor kid for your own gain? And so on. They end up agreeing that they should either abort it, or put it up for adoption, and Viva says she will take care of it, she’ll always take care of everything, she’d do anything for you, Poppy, and even though Branch and Poppy leave Viva and Clay’s pod missing an egg and of slightly duller saturation, Viva considers it a victory.

Satin & Chenille: Graciously invited to the Floyd & Creek [LASTNAME]-[LASTNAME2] household for dinner. Creek is the one who invited them, because he used to date both sisters (He dated Satin first, then started cheating on her with Chenille (on account of their societally accepted eating disorders they take a lot of naps at different schedules, and Creek planned around that), then broke it off with Satin to exclusively date Chenille (he’s the one who recommended her a doctor for her liposuctions) who eventually dumped HIM after finding out she was, once again, left with her sister’s sloppy seconds) and wants to “bury the hatchet”. Floyd does not know any of this. He thinks they’re just old friends.

Even though Floyd and Creek have experience pretending to be a normal couple they let it slip that they actually hate each other (in the most /pos /affectionate /sexual intent way possible) after they both get drunk and fight about Brozone, and TrollTube, and lactose intolerance, and lastly the fact that Creek killed their baby, which causes him to pounce on Floyd like an enraged chimpanzee in a way the twins think MIGHT have been foreplay? But was probably just some sort of domestic row. Unbeknownst to them, it was both.

Chenille captures half the fight on her trollPhone 15 Pro and S&C say they will both release the footage AND discuss the rest of their experiences on their podcast, UNLESS they get something in return for their silence. Floyd immediately tries to phone Clay (who does not pick up) to see how much they can afford to pay them off, but the twins say they don’t want their money (Satin still wants their money) and that they both have to be on their show. Floyd and Creek don’t think that sounds so bad! They’re celebrities, after all, they’re used to being interviewed. Floyd is the first to go on the show and he comes back home feeling emotionally violated. He assumes Creek will fare a lot worse but Creek is a sex pest and is not capable of feeling much shame anymore, so he’s doing okay. Really, he’s mostly concerned at the idea his husband will find out he invited two of his exes into the pod, but the twins don’t want people to know that either (not because he’s a controversial figure, since, samesies, but because they’re ashamed of how bad their taste was back then).

Hairgate: The twins send Creek home with complimentary Nova Swift Brand Shampoo and despite there being clear instructions on the label, he uses too much so his hair becomes frazzled and immobile. Floyd tells him that's just what happens to troll hair once you approach your 30s to mess with him, and even though Creek knows that's factually not true he is still inconsolable. Floyd has to actually help him after he tries to turn his hair into a noose, fails, and crawls into a ball and sobs. Floyd helps him condition with Nova Swift Brand Conditioner and after a week he's back to normal, albeit having once again been put through the emotional wringer. But that's what he signed up for when he proposed!

Demo: Val’s manager and roommate. Gave them a place to stay after they left Barb’s band and crack house and doesn’t know how to begin to tackle the topic of their racism. He can't even ask them to stop smoking weed in the house! At least use the window, Val!

He’s also the guy Gus usually queerbaits with, but only because he thinks Gus is actually gay. He thinks there’s a misunderstanding WRT Gus’ violent homophobia so he tries to “help his friend out”. Gus suggests they pretend to be a couple to get the heat off him and Demo agrees a little too quickly, despite already dating DJ Suki, who knows about the plan and doesn’t care. She and Demo’s relationship was already on the rocks after finding out she uses child labour, and after Gus starts to develop genuine feelings for Gus he breaks it off with her to tell him how he really feels, which goes about as well as you’d expect telling a homophobic straight man you’re in love with him to go. He tries to get back with DJ despite their issues and she says “nah”.

Cloud Guy: After being permabanned on Troll Twitter, he moves back in with his parents. He lasts a month before intentionally dissipating himself into mist. Rest in perspiration. Branch celebrates in the privacy of his own pod because he knows it’s a shitty thing to be happy about. Dante approves of this rare display of Branch’s sociopathy (he’s earned it).

Clay: Viva forced JD to let her see Clay, and she tells him that she’s got an egg, then shows him the little pastel pink + baby blue egg in her hair. He immediately goes back to her, thrilled he’s gonna be a dad, and convinced this is what it’ll take to fix their relationship. It is not. He still tries to make it work, and dedicates every waking moment to either prepping for the baby or doing whatever it is Viva tells him to do (he doesn’t want to provoke her, after all).

Dante: Sends a glitter bomb to Branch’s current pod (he moved out of his bunker. Because of Dante). Since they are trolls, the glitter bomb is treated with the exact same intensity and urgency as an actual bomb, which it probably functions as. Poppy visits Dante’s pod in The Crest and beats him over the head with one of the spikes she borrowed from Branch, because she’s too scared to skewer him, but she assures him that next time she’ll get over that fear. He calls the Classical Crest Cops on her, and you’d think small town police would have nothing on the Queen, but you’d be wrong. She spends the night in a jail cell before Branch is allowed to pick her up, and he has to break the news that Dante’s pressing charges for aggravated assault. They just can’t catch a break these days!

Bedgate: Guy Diamond doubles down on his controversial conservative parenting style and gets very public with how he thinks letting troll babies sleep in beds instead of in their parents’ hair leads to mental issues. His primary source is Creek’s conspiracy video (and accompanying community post) about the links between beds and Autism in troll babies, while Creek doesn’t believe this one bit and even lets his kids sleep in beds. He just says it for the clicks.

Floyd (either under the effects of miscellaneous substances or just wanting to make life harder for his husband) posts a "wholesome family photo" of him and his lovespawn (Creek is absent) in their room with their beds clearly visible, and the anti-bed crowd immediately turn on Creek for lying about his support for the cause.

Guy Diamond goes through Tiny’s phone after the "Tiny is famous Trollex stan account" incident and finds a message he sent on Troll Discord where he says he wishes he had a bed. Guy starts sobbing. It’s a deeper cut than him being Pro-Choice.

Barb throws her hat into the ring, because of course she does. She’s pro-bed, and thinks it’s awful that Guy wouldn’t love his kid even if he does end up "fucked in the head". Guy responds "Are you fucking kidding me? Are you serious right now? Am I being Punk’d? Why is the TERF preaching to me?"

Guy Diamond only bothered checking out Creek’s conspiracy videos because he wanted to reconnect with him after seeing how Creek fanart seemingly overnight pivoted into solely depicting him as a trans man. He now thinks the only reason Creek was so dismissive of him back when they were briefly together (while Guy identified as nonbinary and Creek only dated theyfabs who were not taking T) was because Creek was struggling with internalised transphobia, instead of regular transphobia, which Creek did used to have because he is a cis man and the only reason people draw him with top surgery scars now is because Harper started doing it (for the “representation”) and it caught on. He’s not trans, he’s just short and boyishly handsome. Guy thinks Creek now “accepts himself” (there is nothing to accept because Creek is a cis man) and is worth another shot (Creek is miserably married and has no intentions of ending the arrangement ever).

Veneer: Got hit by a bus. Velvet set up a GoFundMe to hold a proper funeral for him but she has no intention of actually holding a funeral. She spends it all on vanity purchases. Kid Ritz boosted the GoFundMe when it was in its infancy and now he feels super bad about it.

#text #twitter drama au

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lunarficial · 25 days ago

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// ( maris racal . cis woman . she / her ) . hana sayoc , a twenty - six year old , has survived another day in red creek where they have lived for almost their entire life . the chameleon is known for being effervescent and superficial and is often associated with the fleeting taste of a silver spoon, a mask hanging on by a thread, and the calm before the storm . in a small town where they work as a reader at sisters of the moon word travels fast . it’s hard to keep a secret , and it looks like the boogeyman knows that redacted .

CONTENT WARNING(S): mention of the red creek killings, non-graphic mentions of anxiety.

STATISTICS SHEET — click here.

at first glance, hana comes across as very effervescent— although that bubbly persona is a conscious choice. ever since she was young, she has longed to be the center of attention. a bright & cheerful personality seemed almost like a cheat code to garnering the attention she craved. some people are able to see through her calculated front, with superficial being the second most popular way to describe hana. it's hard to pull a meaningful conversation out of her— she's too busy trying to decide the 'right' & 'likable' thing to say rather than actually speaking her mind.

in childhood, hana lived a very sheltered, but very spoiled life.

the 1999 murders nearly drove her parents to become entirely reclusive. with half of the town terrified and the other half trapped in a vengeful haze, they had no choice but to retreat into their home. hana was pulled from kindergarten & home - schooled until she way 8 years old (cir. 2005). still, roman & isa hovered. they needed to keep an eye on their daughter at all times, if only to ensure she wouldn't land on a missing persons folder or become a page in a long - unsolved mystery.

her parents felt guilty for the extremely tight - leash they kept hana on, though their own anxiety would not allow them to loosen the reigns any further. instead, hana was spoiled beyond imagination. she hardly ever heard the word no, unless it was tied to a request to go out. (many people around town don't know this, but the sayocs got themselves into a lot of debt with this commitment to their child)

that aside . . . hana actually never minded her parents hovering. in fact, she enjoyed being the center of their universe – exactly where she felt that she belonged. the transition from home - school to public school was brutal for her, solely because she was no longer the star of the show. the concept of making friends was difficult, as she could not grasp the fact that there would be groups she'd fit in & people may not like her outside of that.

from a young age, hana mastered the art of being a social chameleon. the ability to morph herself into the perfect picture for any situation was incredibly useful as a child, building a bridge between herself & every other kid in her grade. however, as a teenager, it built her a bit of a reputation for being fake.

the older hana grew, the more she desired to the boundaries of her parents rules. it started small in her later years of high school, with breaking curfew by a few minutes. then progressed to sneaking out. then to entire weekend getaways. each time, hana was met with no punishment, just disapproving lectures from her parents.

a defining moment of hana's life (if you asked her) would be her reality tv show casting in 2021. the offer came from a new show on a largely unknown network, but they talked a big game.

hana always had a dream of getting out of red creek. (and by always, i definitely mean someone she graduated with moved away after high school & she was suddenly desperate for that sort of escape.) it wasn't the hana even disliked the town; she had simply 'outgrown' its population. (to be read as: people were becoming immune to her chameleon act and her attention meter was bottoming out) however, she seemed to lack the actual drive needed to leave home. in a moment of genius, she turned to online casting calls & eventually landed a hit.

the show did fairly well! 🤩 . . . for two seasons 😔 (imagine love island but if it was exactly like the app & crossed with like . . . jersey shore)

she was actually a fan - favorite during her season ! when they show was airing & she was allowed to see the support pouring in, she was convinced it was her big break. true to their pattern of spoiling her beyond their means, hana's parents somehow managed to fund her move to california.

then they filmed the reunion . . . and viewers were confused to witness hana's ability to switch - up unremorsefully. their bubbly season - favorite seemed to morph into a different person and back all the wrong sides. she tried to mend this, but it was all caught on camera </3 some ppl defended her online for a while but it seemed her 5 minutes of fame was up . . .

she managed to keep herself afloat in LA through commercial bookings and minor roles (think patient in a medical drama ep). this wasn't enough for long & she had to head home. big city dreams crushed, instagram privated, and back to her job from 2019.

back in red creek / present day . . .

hana is working as a tarot & palm reader at sisters of the moon, where long time customers will remember her as a receptionist from years earlier. current clients may remark that hana seems to know how to hit all the sore spots & touchy subjects, with some reviews regarding her readings as harsh.

may be known to buy into the rumor mill, but usually doesn't contribute. she just likes to know everyone's business <3

a people pleaser to an insane degree !! it may cause disagreements because she seems to have no loyalties, instead choosing to play on all sides of an issue

tragically an approval seeker too . . . she needs all the attention that red creek has to offer & she needs it to be as positive as it can possibly be

in regards to the boogeyman — when she was older, she was able to piece together that the reason for her strict upbringing was due to the 1999 killings. her parents never wanted to discuss that time, so hana did snooping of her own with other red creek residents whenever possible. she never found the 'right' person to ask, leaving most of that time a mystery to her. with the disappearance of daniela estrada, hana has uncovered some severe anxiety over the boogeyman tale. although she wasn't close with daniela, the fact that someone she knew of could disappear & someone so close to her age at that . . . maybe her parents were right to worry.

WANTED CONNECTIONS — click here.

#redcreek.intro #rewritten & improved hehe<3 #&. ─ 𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑨 ⁑ rendering. ❜#> template by @/yellowhelper !

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the-fiction-witch · 1 year ago

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23rd Hi Dolly

Media Phantom Halo

Character Samuel Emmerson

Couple Samuel X Reader

Rating Spooky

Halloween day 23

I sat myself on the little wooden rocking chair on our cold wooden porch, I couldn't help but smile as I looked across the fields of infinite stretching yellow and dark musky green, Broken up only by the small grey mismatched stone walls and the lines of tall trees in the sweetest fall colours, Orange, gold, marmalade and copper. I moved myself back and forth on the chair listening to the old wood creek and the wind whistle its way through. I did utterly love our little house it brought me such utter serenity after so long jumping from Ex-crack den to half-broken sheds owned by the shadiest or shady landlords. It wasn't an enjoyable time but it was the best we had then. Now dad's gone Becket and I had done our best to work our way in the world far from any stains our father had left even after his death. An utterly fresh start and we had made the most of it, he owns the laundrette and cafe in town nowadays. I worked there with him when we first came here but I didn't last long given without an education I struggled with a lot of basic things I found myself a job just outside of town doing work on a small egg farm for a very nice man. It wasn't much but honest work for honest money and as many eggs to take home as I wanted and when all the bills come out you don't get paid again for another two weeks, Believe me, there is a lot you can do with a few eggs.

"You ready to go Sammy?" Her sugary voice smiled as she closed the door and its screen I couldn't help my wide smile as I saw her she stood on the porch in her little brown boots, her long green skirt with some orange flower pattern, her little orange blouse top to match, her little crocheted bag over her shoulder, her hair up tight in a ballerina style bun very little makeup on her face but some eyeliner, a dusting of highlighter and the slight tint from her lip balm. I suppose it is a silly old story farm hand and the farmer's daughter but from the first moment I saw her across the hen shed I was utterly smitten and it didn't take us long to get chatting even if she, of course, was the first to speak up, we found we had a love for much of the same things, we'd spent our days off sneaking up into feed barn and reading comics for hours, she also had some insight as she had lost her mother to addiction so we had some similar horror stories that seemed to bond us to one another. It wasn't long until we were a couple, and soon after her father began to express his desire to retire mostly because he hated driving from their little house on the edge of town out to the farm every day. So after a few months of saving, I asked him if he would consider selling me the farm, and the old farmhouse that sat on the land. He was tentative at first but when he found out about me and y/n he agreed on the condition that... well I look after his daughter. Needless to say, we were married at the town hall about a month later and the farm was ours. The house was utterly wrecked but we slowly fixed it up room by room doing most of it ourselves with help where we needed it. Luckily we shared a similar frugality so many things had been thrifted, upcycled even dumpster driven for, suppose when you get used to having much every single coin feels so much more important and forty-five bucks for a rocking chair seems utterly scandalous when I can buy it for five bucks and a pie from the nursing home in town, just because someone died in it. it's fine we cleaned it. We had turned the place into our nice little home and it brought me so very much joy every day to think this is the life I have now.

"Course" I smiled getting up and fixing my shirt a little before taking her hand and giving her a soft little kiss "Ohh... that's not your normal taste?"

"I ran out of my normal lip balm I had to swap to the other one"

"Oh, but I like that you taste like oranges"

"Well now I taste like strawberries." she shrugs "I'm not buying a new one till this set is finished with"

"What's the next one?"

"Lime and lemon"

"Ohh, I'm excited"

"I'm excited for shopping day" she smiled

"Yeah me too"

We headed down from the porch and to the little garage opening it up to pull out my car We climbed in and headed into town parking up in our usual place. I held her hand again as we headed through town past the various little shops until we spotted the first little thrift store We both eagerly headed inside looking through various endless items of all styles, We separated as we looked through the many pictures in old dusty frames, the fraying cushions, old scratched jewellery. I spotted her waving across the store so I glanced up and saw her with a very nice wine glass,

"How many?" I mouthed she held up four fingers "Much?" I mouthed She held up six fingers I shrugged she did the little crystal test and she was unhappy and set them back. We didn't find anything so left empty "You sure those glasses aren't bad?" I asked her

"Chipped on the top I felt it"

"Ahh fair enough" I nodded "Next one?"

"Of course" she smiled so we headed through town to the next second-hand store doing much the same again digging through to see if they had anything we would want, need, or anything we could take for a good price and resell online. I was flicking through the pictures and I found a nice painting of some autumnal fields with a farmhouse in the background and a scarecrow in the foreground, it also had a very nice frame. it likely wasn't worth much but it would fit the style of our bedroom and it would look lovely above our bed. I gave her a wave and showed her the painting she smiled seeming excited

"Painting?" she mouthed and I nodded "How much?" I checked the tag and held up two fingers "Frame?" she mouthed and I nodded She came over and gave it a nice little check "Over our bed?"

"That's what I thought"

"Agreed" she smiled taking it "I'll pay, You go take it to the car?"

"I'll meet you in the next store"

She gave them the money for the painting and I happily kissed her and headed to the car making sure the painting was safe in the back, I headed back and met up with her in the next little store and I saw she had some items already a few balls of yawn they had bundled together for really cheap as they always did in this store and then -

"What the hell is that?" I asked

"Dolly," she says showing me the porcelain doll "She has a good mark on her she's a limited edition I checked online I can make a good profit on her," she says

"I'm pretty convinced that's haunted"

"Ehh free ghost? sell it on eBay" she shrugs

"Alright, but you're keeping it in your office,"

"Okay"

We went around to a few other places and found a few bits and bobs and we headed home.

I headed back to the house after the long day of dealing with the chickens and I saw that weird doll sitting on the rocking chair the chair gently moving "Y/n!" I yelled

"What is it Sammy?" she asks coming out flour on her dress from her cooking

"Did you move the doll?"

"What doll?"

"That doll," I told her

"Ohh, No. what are you doing here dolly? you should be upstairs in my office" she says

"You promise you didn't put it there?"

"Of course, I've been inside making dinner"

"Well I've been out in the shed all day and that chair was moving"

"Perhaps it was the wind" she shrugs

"Whatever just put her back in the office"

I sat with my comic often glancing up at y/n as she sat on the sofa doing her crochet, I heard a knock on the door so I got up put my comic down and kissed her head as I headed to the door, I pulled it open expecting the postman or something but I saw that fucking doll y/n bought sat on the porch. "Hell no!" I yelled

"What?" she asks coming to see "Ohh, Hi dolly"

"Nope. It's going in the pantry"

"Alright" she shrugs

I picked up the doll took it to the pantry and locked the door "Okay if I see that doll again other than when you post it to a buyer I'm drop-kicking it into the egg shed"

"That's fair Sammy" she smiled

I laid in bed very happily cuddling y/n in the sweet darkness half asleep already, But I don't know why all of a sudden I felt like I should move, I should put my hand up, I don't know why but I just felt like I should so I moved and put my hand up and immediately felt something hit it making me open my eyes seeing the painting from above out bed had fallen off the wall luckily I caught it but if I hadn't the large painting and its heavy metal frame would have hit both me and y/n in the head "What the hell?" I asked sitting up and putting the frame down by my table to put back tomorrow

"What is it?" she yawns waking up too

"Nothing, go back to sleep y/n," I told her but even in the darkness I saw that doll sitting on our dresser staring at our bed "What THE FUCK!" I yelled waking her much more and sitting up

"What is it?" she asks

"That fucking doll!" I yelled looking back but it was gone and our bedroom door slammed violently shut and loud feet ran down our stairs "Burn the doll?"

"Burn the doll" she nods

#tbs smut #thomasbrodiesangster #tbs imagine #tbs imagines #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster #tbs #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster smut #sam smut #sam imagine #samuel #sammy #samuel imagine #phantom halo smut #phantom halo imagine #phantomhalo #phantom halo

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tweekedout · 7 years ago

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replaying the civil war fight.

tweek: i am wondertweek, champion of justice! craig: that’s gay! tweek: you’re gay! clyde: wait, i’m confused.

tweek: i will right wrongs and triumph over evils! and that means you! craig: wait, me?

craig: lame. tweek: no you’re lame! you’re like the lamest lame of all time! craig: that was lame too!

tweek: this would be a lot easier if you just switched sides, craig! craig: guess we gotta do this the hard way! craig: augh! okay, you made your point.

tweek: augh! sorry about this, super craig! craig: augh! tweek calm down! tweek: no, you calm down!

tweek: supreme thunder! craig: don’t be a dick, tweek! tweek: you’re the one being a dick, dick!

tweek: craig, no! craig: ever get the feeling life is punishing you for being a dick, tweek? tweek: no!

craig: suck on this. craig: tweek’s hurt? what a surprise.

tweek: i call upon my storms to punish you! craig: ugh! tweek: don’t ‘ugh’ me!

craig: you asked for it, tweek.

#the fractured but whole #s. it's because you taste like home. creek.

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tweekedout · 7 years ago

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cre

biggest source of happiness lately

#s. it's because you taste like home. creek.

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chiwhorei · 3 years ago

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𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐚 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞?

Chiwhorei’s Kinktober: 𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏

Welcome, one and all, circus freaks and horror geeks, to a one-stop-shop of horror, smut, and things other-worldly. One thing to ask yourself before you proceed:

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞?

Grab a flashlight, because it’s dark up ahead. Five fandoms await you here, seven stories to devour (careful, before they take a bite out of you), and one month of salacious fantasy.

One: The house creeks, floorboards making way for nervous steps. Forward, backwards, you’re unsure of everything but the inevitable destination. Wherever you go, the same place awaits you. If home is a person, Levi is a haunted house.

Stepdad!Levi x Stepdaughter, Attack on Titan: Stepcest, Noncon, Cheating

Two: It drips down your skin, breath fanning like thick paint. His stare follows you, it holds you captive, it waits and watches. There’s no need to fear him. Tamaki loves you too much to hurt you— at least not too badly.

Yandere!Tamaki x Exotic Dancer, BNHA: Yandere, Noncon, Chikan

Three: Bound tightly, wrist to wrist, skin itching under silken ropes. He’s caught you in a spider web of red, you’re the reason he can see how good the color looks on you. You dangle, an offering, a sacrifice, a piece of art to display. His muse, his capture, his sister.

Big Brother!Sakusa x Little Sister, Haikyuu: Soulmates!AU, Incest, Shibari

Four: Your smell dances across the riverbed like skipping rocks, chasing him, calling him. Your body quivers in the cool water, innocence glimmering from damp skin. You shouldn’t be out here alone, little doe, there’s wild animals this deep in the woods.

Alpha!Jiraiya x Omega, Naruto: Fairytale!AU, A/B/O, Corruption, Age gap

Five: There’s no God to serve above you, past the ceilings, the clouds, the stars. There’s nothing beyond smoldering flickers of light and the soft burn of wax against your naked skin. His laugh is like a striking match. There’s no one to serve but the man in front of you, there’s no one to bow to but Beni. He’ll give you atonement, you just have to beg for it.

Dom!Benimaru x Submissive, Fire Force: S & M, Waxplay, Dom/Sub, Humiliation

Six: He’s so gentle, touches featherlight as they wrap around your neck. It hurts like a sugar-burn. What was in that drink he gave you? It tasted like sour apples and it went down like razors. Shadows of purplish black curve around your vision, the feeling of tendrils lashing against bare skin. “What do you think kitty,” Izuku’s tongue rattles against your neck, “of my dirty little secret?”

Pro Hero!Deku x Reader, BNHA: Drugging, Kidnapping, Tentacles, Sounding, Noncon, Sadism

Seven: The first thing you notice is a sound, a far away, muffled ticking. Tick, tick, tick— each moment holding its own eternity. Your limbs are frozen in place, but muscles ache like you’ve been running for your life. Have you? Itachi is starving, canines aching just to get a bite. He’s careful, calculating, patient even as his mouth waters. He can’t have you too scared, wouldn’t want to spoil the flavor.

Itachi x Reader, Naruto: Predator vs. Prey, Cannibalism, Bloodplay, Mindbreak, Noncon, Gore

✞ 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞: All writing is chiwhorei’s original content, please do not repost or modify. Do no read my content as asmr. Do not recommend me on TikTok.©️

#naruto x reader smut #fire force x reader smut #bnha x reader smut #haikyuu x reader smut #aot x reader smut #chiwhorei.kinktober #tw: cannibalism #tw: noncon #tw:incest #tw: dark content #tw: yandere #what goes hump in the night?

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entishramblings · 4 years ago

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The Restricted Section [Legolas X Reader]

A.N: hey guys! sO I ended up getting like super into this one-shot and it got a little off track but I feel as if it still matches up to the request! Also I do lowkey mention some “first age lore” but I pulled it out of my ass.....just go with it tho it’s fanfiction lol

Request: Anon — I've been seeing your AMAZING writing pop up on my dash and I love it!!!! If you're not too busy (and no pressure at all to write this in a timely manner), could you possibly write a short one-shot of Legolas' reaction to unexpectedly finding someone sketching him? Bonus points if the sketch is really good, and EXTRA bonus points (and digital cookies!!) if he secretly has a crush on the person sketching? Again, no pressure!!!

Pairing: Legolas X Reader

Summary: (Y/N) is Greenwood’s library archivist. Legolas comes to do some research. goddamn why does this summary sound dirty??

Word Count: 2,840

Warnings: none

(gif not mine)

MASTERLIST

Being Greenwood’s Archivist for the thousands upon thousands of treasured papers, scrolls, and books did have its perks one could say. (Y/N) not only wanted to be immersed in the secrets and stories of the world, but she was required to. She spent much of her time reading and cataloguing—not that she minded considering the knowledge she had obtained was vast and fruitful. Furthermore, she was basically permitted to do whatever she wished given that she only had to give reports to the King every couple of weeks. This left her with much appreciated free time.

Currently, the Greenwood castle was hushed as every elf was sound asleep, basking in their own dreams and memories, well...almost every elf. (Y/N) was wide awake. Her favorite time of the solar cycle was the silent hours of the night; because, here in the darkness of the sky, there was nothing more enticing than being alone in the vast silence of written secrets—especially when no one was around to catch you sneaking a peek in the restricted section.

(Y/N)’s preferred spot in the library was a very specific little nook for a handful of reasons. First of all, it was lined with tall shelves filled with different volumes and ledgers that created a private and secluded feeling. Furthermore, the lucky position of these paper-filled towers allowed for a clear eye-line to the main area of the library—an eye-line that could not be seen from outside the special little cranny. This, of course, was perfect for handling prohibited materials. Lastly, she was adjacent to a large stone fireplace where light and warmth were compelled to pour into her form. (Y/N) appreciated this, especially during the coldness of the winter months.

So here Greenwood’s Archivist sat, curled into a dark cushioned armchair within a shrouded crevice of the Library, sketching the forbidden monsters from first age lore.

The faint scrapping sound of charcoal against yellowing paper faded into the crackling of the flames while (Y/N) skillfully manipulated the material in her small, leather-bound, sketchbook. Every so often, she would pause to take a sip from the tea cup that she placed on one of bookshelves. The flavor of the warm liquid melded into the woman’s mouth; the taste of ginger and cloves folded around her tongue and initiated a warm sensation throughout her body. She really did feel at peace in this moment, cloaked in the secrets of the night.

However, that tranquility was reshaped into alarm at the sound of the large wooden doors creaking open. (Y/N) stopped her sketching and cautiously peeked through the shelves. Her lips parted and her brows furrowed when her eyes rested on the intruder.

What could the Prince of Greenwood want from the library at this hour?

(Y/N)’s eyes widened when yet another thought crossed her mind.

What would the Prince of Greenwood do if he saw a book—a restricted book—in her grasp?

Quietly, the archivist tucked the dusty green volume under the armchair and turned her sketchbook to an unmarked page. But, before she started sketching something new, her curiousness compelled her to watch the Prince.

(Y/N) smiled softly as Legolas’s calloused hand gently stroked the leather spins of every book as he strolled through the aisles. His brilliant blue eyes wandered across each title, clearly searching for something. His dark brows furrowed when he reached the end of the shelf, apparently not finding what he had been looking for. The Prince continued weaving his way between stacks of books until he was directly on the other side of (Y/N)’s shelf.

The young woman held her breath as her heart pounded.

What if he caught her in here?

She inwardly chided herself. Why would she—the archivist—get in trouble for being in the library? This was her domain, her job. Her anxieties were completely unrational.

(Y/N)’s frantic thoughts froze when one of the books began to slide away.

Still unaware of her presence, Legolas opened it to read the text on the first page. It seemed that he was content with his selection for he turned on his heal. The Prince made his was to the center of the library and sat down at one of the tables that was lit with candlelight.

After a couple moments, (Y/N) quietly stood up and walked towards the shelf. She laid her hand on the now spacious gap. The young woman frowned. He had taken a book on forestry—the sickness index. Was there something going on within the trees of her home?

Deciding to push her concerns aside, for now that is, she snuggled back into the comfort of the armchair.

From her position she was able to see the elvish prince clearly.

A little grin stretched across (Y/N)’s lips. She picked up her charcoal once more and began to sketch the outline of his form. As time went on, she shaded in the curves of his jaw, the bend of his lip, and the scowl upon his brow. It was coming together quite nicely.

She did not know how much time had past, but when she looked up from her sketch Legolas was gone. (Y/N) tilted her head slightly in confusion.

She was just looking at him.

He wouldn’t leave a burning candle and opened book unattended, would he?

The sound of paper-filled leather sliding from the shelf behind her made the archivist turn quickly. The person on the other side had sensed her movement and peaked through the hole where the book had previously rested.

“My apologies, Archivist (Y/N). I knew not that you were here.”

The young woman stuttered out a response, “Oh um, it is alright, My Prince. I....I...was just—

A smirk pulled at his pink lips when his gaze landed on her open sketchbook. “Is that me?” He questioned.

(Y/N) cheeks began to heat as she slammed the sketchbook closed, “No.”

He raised an eyebrow before walking around the tower of books that was between them.

When he entered the tiny nook he looked around at her set up—stacks of many books and ledgers piled high upon the floor, a thick blanket dangling off the armchair, and a hot cup of tea upon one of the shelves.

“I almost forgot about this space. It’s quite cozy with the fire, is it not?” He said.

Legolas made his was towards her and gently held out his hand. Nodding at the leather-bound sketchbook, he spoke, “May I?”

She couldn’t exactly refuse the Prince, now could she?

Wordlessly she passed it to him.

Ever so carefully he began to flip through the pages—birds, horses, forestry, flowers, creeks, pillars, stones, and, of course, people. There were a handful of sketches of elves that he recognized as maids and servants—likely her friends, he guessed. Additionally, there was a fair amount of pictures of the guards and even one of his father. The coroner of his lip pulled upwards again when he found one of himself, and another, and another. His expression then changed to surprised amusement at what looked to be a demon. Strange. He shot her a playful look and by her reaction he was sure she knew which sketch he was looking at. Legolas continued studying the charcoal art pieces until he turned to last marked page—to the one she had just completed: him.

“These are quite good, (Y/N). Have you ever considered abandoning the library for art?”

“Well, no. It is just a hobby of mine, I suppose.”

He nodded and handed the sketchbook back to her, “And the demon?��

“Ahh yes....um, well....”

She glanced down at the floor as she stuttered. Anxiety flashed across her eyes at the sight of the corner of the green volume peaking out. She kicked it under the chair quickly.

However, her action did not escape the observation of the Prince. Yet again, he raised a brow.

Legolas knelt down and tugged the book out. He read the title aloud, “First Age Index, Volume IV. Morgoth’s Experimentation.” A deep chuckle escaped Legolas’s chest, which of course was not the reaction (Y/N) had been expecting. The Prince spoke again, clearly entertained by the situation. “Let me guess—from the restricted section.”

“Of course not!”

Legolas stifled a laugh. “(Y/N)?”

“Hmm?” She responded while avoiding his gaze.

“You are a terrible liar.”

The young woman looked up at him, “I—I am not!”

Legolas rolled his eyes. However, the playful expression faltered and his face instantly melted into what looked to be a sudden realization.

He swiftly stood up and tapped his palm against the cover of the book. “Does the restricted section have lore on earth sickness and forest disease from the first and second age?”

“I—erm...I haven’t been in the restricted section, My Lord,” she stammered.

He shook his head, “Again, (Y/N). You are a terrible liar.”

She sighed in defeat before speaking reluctantly, “It does.”

“Take me to it.”

The Archivist led him towards the gated shadow-ridden corridor and stood still.

Legolas offered her a sideways glance.

She sighed; now her days of browsing the forbidden knowledge were over.

(Y/N) pressed her finger against the lock and slammed a closed fist on the latch. It instantly creaked open.

The Prince’s eyes shown with amusement but she just shrugged and stepped through the gate.

He was enjoying this way too much.

They walked into the circular room; light poured in from a high window, showing the dust dancing through the stale air. (Y/N) led him straight to the section he had requested. She then began to pull out books, ledgers, and scrolls; placing them in Legolas’s arms until they were piled high to his chin.

The two then exited the restricted section and (Y/N) locked up the gate once more.

Legolas then followed the young elven woman towards the table he had previous occupied. The Prince carefully set the overflowing stack of knowledge down. He opened one of the books and skimmed the beginning index before speaking.

“Ada (father) did not believe me when I said something has been stirring in our forest. My senses pick up a darkness nearing for the trees have gone silent and the animals run west. Yet, the insects increase—specifically the spiders.”

She frowned.

Interesting. Interesting indeed.

The archivist rocked on her heals for a moment, contemplating asking the question that persisted in her mind. “So, does this mean I am not in trouble for reading the restricted section?”

Legolas shrugged, “What Ada (father) doesn’t know, can’t make him angry. Besides, this is too important.”

(Y/N) hopped up onto the table and sat with her legs dangling over the edge. She grabbed a book from the pile and began reading.

What was making their forest sick?

.....

Legolas and many members of the guard had just arrived back in Greenwood after patrolling the east end of the forest. The Prince sat in the armory ridding himself of the countless weapons that clung to his body. He let his thoughts wander as he did so.

Two months had past since he had come across (Y/N) sketching in the library; and ever since, the two elves had met every night—well every night that Legolas was not on patrol. They had moved from researching at the table to scrutinizing in the comfort of (Y/N)’s favorite crevice of the library. The archivist sat in her leather armchair while the prince rested on the floor, leaning against a bookcase. The space was quite cramped, but he didn’t mind. Besides, it allowed him to study (Y/N) as she sketched and read. He would be lying if he said his heart did not yearn for her.

Additionally, the formality of titles between them was left behind as the two had become quite close. Legolas appreciated this; often many treated him differently because of his royalty, but not (Y/N). Furthermore, no longer was she concerned about the repercussions of reading material from the restricted section. Besides, if Thranduil somehow found out and was to punish her for it, he would have to punish his son.

“Prince Legolas!”

He looked up as his name was called. Legolas offered a warm smile to the guard who spoke. “Meludir, I trust patrol went well for you?”

The dark hair ellon nodded in response. “Are you going to the library after this?”

Legolas shrugged, “Perhaps.”

A light laugh fell from Meludir’s lips, “To see (Y/N)?”

The Prince’s brows furrowed. “Well, she is helping me with some research.”

Meludir smirked, “Research hmm? You are aware there has been some whispers flying around?”

Legolas tilted his head in confusion.

“Well, you spend much time with her. Enough to end up in her sketchbook—on multiple pages.”

The blonde elf bit back a smile. Of course Legolas was aware that during their research (Y/N) would put down the scrolls and ledgers and pick up charcoal and paper; and, quite frankly, he did not mind. But he was unaware of how Meludir knew if this so he opted to ask. “How do you know of her sketches?”

Meludir grinned, “I may have stumbled across it in the library very late one night.” He paused, “You can imagine my surprise when I went to find light reading material but came across the Prince and the Archivist throwing books at each other’s heads.”

Legolas looked down at his dirt ridden boots to hide the smiled that surfaced from that memory.

This of course did not escape Meludir’s gaze. The young ellon chuckled at his superior’s behavior and clapped him on the shoulder. “Best you head over there then.”

.....

The sun had set and the moon had taken its place. Legolas strutted into the library after he had washed up and changed into fresh clothes. He quickly made his way to the little nook filled with all their research.

“(Y/N)?” He questioned when he came to an empty space.

“Over here!”

He whipped his head around to see the young archivist thirty feet up a ladder; she was reaching for a book that rested near the rafters.

She called out to him again, “Come catch this!”

He walked towards her until he stood at the foot of the ladder. (Y/N) then let the heavy book fall through the still air; it landed perfectly in the prince’s waiting hands.

The archivist grasped onto two more books before gracefully climbing down. “Come on then, we must get reading. The sun won’t stop rising for us.”

She plopped down in her armchair and Legolas sat in his usual spot across from her. After a couple hours of endless reading and research, (Y/N) gasped.

“Legolas! I have found it!”

His head shot up, “What?”

“The—the sickness...the darkness. What you have described to me is exactly what a scribe wrote in an old Quenya dialect: Telerin. I’ve been translating it.” She stated as she moved the position of one of the three books in her lap. “It says it right here. Before the rise of Sauron.....animals fleeing, insect population stirring, trees going silent—“ (Y/N) stood up in excitement. “I found it, Legolas! I found it!”

The Prince leapt to his feet. Full of emotion, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her form up. He spun around quickly as little laughs left the woman’s lips.

Legolas set her down, but did not remove his arms from around her waist. “After all this time of researching....you—you did it!” He paused, “You are very brilliant, you know that (Y/N)?”

She shrugged, “Well, I don’t—“

He interrupted her, “You are, (Y/N). You are. You know this library as I know the woods. You were able to make connections between books and scrolls that I never would have seen. You were able to analyze data and translate languages with no trouble. You are incredibly intelligent....and I admire that.”

The young woman’s eyes drew to the floor and her cheeks heated.

“(Y/N)...” Legolas whispered while cupping her chin.

He lifted her face and the air seemed to still between them as their eyes locked.

“Legolas, I—“ She whispered.

He did not let her finish. He gently pressed his pink lips against hers and (Y/N) instantly responded. The earthy smell of dirt and trees filled the archivist’s nostrils as paper and fire filled the prince’s. It was almost hypnotic. As the two let their mouths dance against each other slowly, reality melted away. Legolas pulled her form closer and she obliged. (Y/N) snaked her arms around his neck and tangled her fingers in his loose blonde locks. The Prince let his hands wander down her back and across her hips, feeling every curve. The young woman could not help but feel a wave of warmth wash over her for she had craved this. The kiss was calm, gentle, and full of innocent love.

When the two reluctantly pulled away for air, (Y/N) rested her head in the crook of his neck.

“Do you know what this means, Legolas?” She whispered.

“You heart craves mine as much as mine craves yours?” He responded quietly.

“Well yes, but no....I meant about the forest. The sickness—it’s darkness. Sauron’s darkness. He is returning.”

.......

Everything Tag: @sokkasdarling @scxundress @quilledinkpen @hufflepuffinblr @lea----b @aredhel-of-gondolin @princecami @the-fandoms-georgie @jazziwritestolkienprimary

Legolas Tag: @dark-angel-is-back

If you wanna be in the tag list lmk

486 notes · View notes

claireunoia · 4 years ago

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↬ 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬 | 𝐚. 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐥 ·˚✩

↳ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 | 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘹 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘯 ♡.

↳ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | 𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘯 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

↳ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 | 2,395 𝘰𝘰𝘰𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺

↳ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | 𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘭 (𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨), 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘦, 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘫𝘪𝘻𝘻 (𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘶𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦) 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘪𝘵? :)

⇢ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 : i’ve been really wanting to write for arvin for a long while now. i’ve just been running out of ideas and keep deleting everything i write. so this is my first arvin fic so lemme know how i did? also note i didn’t plan to make this the readers first time but it kinda just went in that direction but anyways yeah, i hope y’all enjoy <3

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

today was you and arvin’s date night. arvin bringing you over his, having dinner with his sister lenora and his grandmother emma.

emma practically insisting that you come over, being arvin’s first girl he brought home, she loved getting to know you. which instantly brought you to become close friends to your only girl friend in town, lenora. she was such a sweet girl and you liked her and she liked you and that made arvin happier than ever.

after eating dinner at arvin’s grandmothers, he took you to the creek to swim and gaze at the clouds, pointing out the ones that looked like a dog. arvin and you laughing and having fun the whole time there. splashing eachother while arvin picking you up and slamming you gently into the body of water.

a while later after being in the water, you both get out; laying down on the little blanket you brought and began air drying your bodies under the beaming sun because you both didn’t think to bring extra clothes. your head resting on his shoulders and he wrap his arm around you, enjoying the peaceful silence, just enjoying being in each other’s arms.

:·ﾟ✧:·ﾟ✧ :·ﾟ✧:·ﾟ✧ :·ﾟ✧:·ﾟ✧ :·ﾟ✧:·ﾟ✧ :·ﾟ✧

the sun was beginning to set and you and arvin were in the backseat of his car, making out as you began to take your shirt off. arvin taking his jacket off, slinging somewhere in the front seat, discarding his hat somewhere in the same direction, soon his shirt following. his hands cupping your face in his hands as he locked his lips against yours lovingly.

he moved his lips down to your neck, sucking and kissing gently. moving down to your collarbones, continuing his ministrations.

“arvin...” you whisper against his brown curls, your hands running through the locks.

“yes darlin’” he lowly drawl against you, his low voice and his little names he loves calling you, specifically “darlin” gets to you every single time. always knowing how to make you feel good and just knowing the right things to say to you. always such a gentleman.

you place your hands on his shoulders, bringing him to look at you. “i want you. i want you to take me” arvin smiled softly at you, kissing your lips but cutting it short when he pulled away from you, his brown orbs looking into yours.

“ya’ sure, angel?” to confirm his extra suspicion you nod your head, pressing your swollen lips back against his hungrily now. arvin quickly kissing you back with even more vigor; his tongue coming out to swipe against your bottom lip before swirling his tongue with your own. a breathy moan leaving your lips at the feeling of his tongue pressing against yours, the kiss now becoming messier and messier.

arvin’s hands went to the back of your bra, unhooking it after a few seconds of semi struggle. revealing your breasts to his eyes, the soft peak of your nipples hardening due to being exposed.

“y’er so beautiful, y/n. absolutely beautiful” arvin whispers out to you, eyes focused on your chest. he leaned forward, his lips close to your nipples, your breathing quickening a bit from the feeling of his breath on you.

“is this okay?” he ask, his eyes now looking at yours, looking to find any hesitation or doubt. you nod your head, giving him a sincere look that made him smile.

without any other words he took your nipple into his mouth. his tongue swirling around the hard bud sensually, his eyes locking intently on yours when he heard a soft whimper escape your lips. arvin’s hand coming to massage your unnoticed breast, making sure to give both the same attention and affection.

“that feel good, doll?”

you licked your lips before replying, “mhm, oh-“ you cut yourself off with a gasp when you felt arvin’s hand lift your skirt up, his hand cupping your warm panty covered mound, the friction against you making your hips buck up, wanting more.

“my god darlin...” arvin pulled the fabric to the side to show your glistening pussy to his awaiting eyes, “shit, you’re so fucking wet” he moaned, his finger started to inch to your slit where your arousel was collected but halting his movements. “this okay, angel?”

you look at him with a slight pout, you nod. “yes, arvin... please” with a soft smirk, arvin collected your wetness on his finger; rubbing it against your swollen clit gently. he looked up at you and watched how your face scrunches up cutely at the pleasure you were receiving. his hand going to adjust himself as he felt his boner grow harder each second as he watched you.

you saw that and slowly grabbed his bulge through his jeans, a groan leaving his lips instantly when your hand made contact with his sex.

“take it off” you whisper, arvin nodded and began unbuckling his belt; pulling down his zipper. he hurriedly pull his jeans all the way down, kicking them off on the floor of the car, his underwear soon following.

when arvin freed himself your eyes instantly made contact with his impressive sex. arvin noticed this and the corners of his lips twitched upwards to a soft grin. “it’s all yours, sweetheart” he states, guiding your hand to his shaft, whining out a bit when you close your fist around it. gentle praises leaving his lips when you began pleasuring him, your hand gliding up and down his cock.

“oh fuck- that’s so good darlin’. just like that baby, doing such a good job” he coos, bringing the hand on his cock to his lips; gathering the saliva in his mouth before spitting it onto your hand, the saliva dropping onto your skin slowly. his eyes on yours the whole time.

you never thought seeing someone spitting could make you wetter than ever before. a low mewl leaving your lips as you watch him.

when he was done he guided your hand back onto his cock, getting the hint you began to lather your spit covered hand along him, wetting it so you could glide your hand against him better.

he decided to leave your skirt on and began to take your panties off, you lifted your hips so he pull the fabric over your bottom smoothly, letting it hit your feet before you kick the rest off. arvin’s hand immediately went to your core, rubbing the swollen flesh gently as you jerked him off.

both of your moans combining into the air, filling the car with both of your sounds.

arvin’s cloudy lustfilled eyes boring into your passionate ones as you both pleasure each other.

unexpectedly arvin’s fingers went into his mouth, soaking the digits with his spit before entering your hole until all you could see was his bruised knuckles. a shocked gasp escaped from your lips as he pushed his fingers into you, the stretch burning a tad but the pleasure overcoming the pain was so delicious.

“that okay?” he asks you, being the gentleman he always is. making sure you were okay with everything that was going on. you nod your head vigorously, moaning loudly when he started to pump his fingers into you, your thighs shaking a bit at the new sensation of his fingers massaging your walls.

“fuck arvin...” you keen, the never before feeling you were currently receiving shocking your body like electricity as it flowed through you beautifully.

one particular swipe of your thumb over his tip cause a loud groan to erupt from arvin, his hips involuntary jerking up against your hand. your breath being taken away when arvin collide his lips to yours roughly. his breath consisting the tangy taste of cigarettes and the refreshing taste of toothpaste. a surprising mixture you love.

moans left both of your lips left and right as you brought eachother to the edge, feeling a unfamiliar feeling pooling in your tummy had you clenching your fist around arvin tightly, a loud almost growl like sound leaving him as he kept fingering you, the pace of his fingers never letting up. “baby- i feel s-something” your small voice spoke out to him, your moans gradually getting higher and higher with each pound of his fingers.

arvin peppered wet kisses all over your neck before replying something back to you. “don’t try and hold it, peaches. just let it go... let go for me” arvin whispers, out of breath himself as you brought him close to falling.

when you felt the shocking waves coming closer and closer, you listened to arvins words and just relaxed and let the feeling take over you.

your eyelids begin to flutter as your toes curl painfully tight causing a cramp to form but that wasn’t even remotely close to what’s going on in your mind. the feeling you can only describe it is absolute pure euphoria.

endless shockwaves flowed through you as you orgasmed, the hand you had on arvins cock stopped moving; just stopping all together. arvin’s intense brown orbs intently watching you as you came. seeing you jerk and shake under him had him more turned on and hard he’s ever been. him bringing you to your first orgasm had a feeling of pride swell inside him aswell.

a soft smile is on arvin’s face when you come down from your orgasm. your heavy breathing the only sound filling the car at the moment, your chest rising and falling in a relaxed rhythm.

“how’re y’er feeling, peaches?” he asks you, taking his fingers out of you. grabbing his handkerchief that was on his dash; wiping your cum off his fingers before wiping you down.

it took a few seconds for you to respond. “amazing...” was all you slurred, a chuckle leaving his lips at your blissed state. you finally open your eyes to look at arvin, his handsome face coming into view.

but you couldn’t help but let your eyes travel to his still hard as ever cock. you notice how red his tip was and ask, “you didn’t let go?” you ask almost innocent like, doe eyes peering up at him.

arvin smile and laughs at you before pecking your forehead softly, “yer’ cute you know that, darlin’” you giggle and smiled right back at him and nod your head.

“don’t worry about me, peach. its all about you” he answers but that didn’t satisfy you. you shook your head at him and grabbed his bicep, “no lemme help you let go like you did with me, arvin” you spoke gently, drawing invisible shapes on his arm.

“y’ sure? you don’t have to do anything because you think you do-“

you cut arvin off sharply with an ‘i want to do it because i want too’ he nods his head at that and began to kiss you again, his rough hands cupping your face gently. without another second you wrapped your hand around arvin, a groan immediately leaving his lips. already being close to cum when he was fingering you, it wouldn’t take that long for him to cum.

“can i try something, arvin?” you ask not stopping your movements as you speak to him.

“yeah..”

you move to the floor of the car and got on your knees, arvin now sitting in front of you as you started to timidly lick his sex. the gasp arvin let out made you wet all over again. at his reaction you started to gain more confidence with your ministrations, your tongue now licking his base and going all the way up to his red tip.

“fuck- damn darlin’ ... i thought you said you were a virgin” arvin groaned with a chuckle, his hand now moving to your hair. not forcing you down, just laying it there, running his fingers through the strands of your hair.

you giggle at his words, “i’m that good, babe?” you question with a teasing smirk that arvin copied.

“y’ such a little tease, sweetheart” he drawl, his accent sounding even more delicious than it already does. with another cheeky giggle you started to lick him again, now taking his tip into your mouth. his moans and low groans pushing you to go faster.

his breathing began to get shakier and shakier each passing second.

you then started to push him down your throat slowly, your eyes flicking up to arvin’s when you heard him take a sharp exhale. his eyes meeting yours as you instantly whimper around him when you saw the intense passion and lust pooling in his irises.

sweet praises left his lips as you tried to take him all but you couldn’t so you just took the rest of him in your hand, jerking the rest of him that couldn’t fit in your mouth. “fuck- i’m so close, angel” arvin pants heavily, his chest rising and falling each passing moment.

and with that you speed up your movements. the filthy sounds of you slurping and gagging pushed arvin right to the surface, feeling ready to burst you pushed him back down your throat and that was it for him. he came in your mouth, catching you off guard for a second before recollecting and swallowing it all. the back of your hand coming up to swipe across your lips, wiping the rest of his cum off.

making sure he got it all out you stroked him one last time before letting go of his softening cock.

you grabbed your little blanket from the front seat and straddled arvin, draping the blanket around the both of you. you rest your head on his shoulder as arvin came down from his intense orgasm, his breathing evening as he cuddled against you.

a couple of silenced moments passed as you both sat there just in each others arms, both of you calming down. a second later, arvin’s lips made contact with the top of your head; laying a sweet kiss there lovingly.

“i love you pretty girl” he whispers.

“i love you more arvin”

arvin then looks outside the windows to find darkness, not noticing time flying by that quickly.

“gotta getcha home soon” he chuckles, smiling when he heard your giggle vibrating against his chest, “yeah but let’s stay here together for another moment” you reply with a dreamy like sigh, feeling at home with arvin as you always do.

𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 : @ballyhoobarnes @cloudystevie @dummiesshort @itstaskeen @buckybarnesplumwhore @itscaminow @blossomparkers @brattycherubwrites ♡♡.

#arvin #arvin russel x y/n #arvin russel x you #arvin russell #arvin russel imagine #arvin russel x reader #arvin russel smut #arvin russell smut #smut #fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland smut #the devil all the time

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capaimagines · 4 years ago

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jeong yunho - let me

Pairing: mafia leader!Yunho x Reader | Genre: angst | Warnings: mentions of physical assault, mentions of miscarriage, depression, alludes/suggestions to suicide, suicidal thoughts, weapons, swearing | WC: 2.3k

Request: Oh I'm glad you're requests are open! Can I request for a yunho mafia au where the reader is pregnant and was planning to tell him but the rival gang kidnap her. Maybe she gets really badly beaten and she's scared and yunho and San find her and she's even hesitant when they go to touch her??

You honestly don’t know how much time has passed since you’ve been trapped in this dark room that smelled of mold and rust. One of your eyes was swollen shut, your lip was bleeding because you could taste the iron every time you swallowed. You're pretty sure your wrist is broken unless it’s supposed to bend almost all the way to the back like that. Yet, you no longer felt any pain.

The last thing you remember was talking with San about how excited you were since you had found out you were pregnant. While San was part of the notorious mafia syndicate, ATEEZ, he was a softy on the inside, you were like his sister. He was helping you plan a small reveal party with the other boys so you could tell Yunho that you two were in fact going to have a baby.

Instead, now, you were here. In this crappy warehouse or house or room, you weren’t too sure. It’s too dark to tell and you had been knocked out before they grabbed you. You weren’t naïve enough to believe that something like this would never happen given Yunho’s career choice. You had just hoped that it would have happened before you were pregnant or after because even though it was the early stages, about ten weeks or so, you just knew earlier when your kidnapper kicked you multiple times in the stomach that there was no chance that kind of trauma could be good for you or your baby.

Which is probably why you felt numb now. You knew if you didn’t cough up information your life would be next, but you didn’t care. All that was running through your head was that there was way too much blood on the ground that you know didn’t come from your split lip or bleeding head. You wanted to throw up, you wanted to scream, cry and thrash about. Though, with your hands being tied way too tightly behind your back and your feet secured tightly, you couldn’t do that.

Plus, your life or not, you would never sell out Yunho. He was your husband. You loved him, despite how violent he could get. He was never violent with you or the people he cared about though. You were able to see the sweet, puppy-like features that you saw when you first met him in the small café you had been working at. You heard the door creek open and you stiffened.

“Ready to give me what I want?” You scoffed at your attacker’s voice, spitting blood on his feet.

You were instantly punched in return which caused you to let out a whimper, “Just kill me. I’m not giving you anything,” You tried to sound tough but you knew your voice sounded like anything but tough.

You weren’t giving him any information, especially now that you knew that blood was because of your baby. What more did you have left? It was your fault that you couldn’t protect your unborn child enough. You should have fought back more, blocked your stomach, begged or pleaded for him to hit you anywhere but there. Dying would be better than the torture your head was giving you. Torture that the guilt was giving you.

You closed your eyes when you saw him raise his knife, waiting for the blow but it never came. Instead, a single gunshot that had him screaming in pain and dropping his knife to the ground. You opened your eyes wide as more gunshots rang out, more screaming, eyes searching wildly for the one person you needed right now but you were soon distracted when you felt someone come up behind you which caused you to scream with the little energy you had left.

“Y/N! Hey, it’s me! It’s San!” He yelled frantically as you let yourself fall limp whilst he cut your bindings off and picked you up, staring at you worriedly.

“Y-Yunho, I need him. S-San, where's Yunho?” You whimpered as you gripped the collar of his shirt.

“He’s here, baby. He’s here, I promise. Now, let me get you out of here first,” He said as he expertly carried you out to their awaiting car, sprinting once he was outside. He saw the blood on the floor. He saw how pale and sickly you looked. He knew you didn’t have long if you didn’t get help now.

He threw the back of the door open, “Yeo! Hwa! You need to help her! Now!” He shouted in fear as he laid you down across the back seats.

Yeosang and Seonghwa gulped once they saw your state and immediately got to work. All of the boys loved you, you were their family. Sure, not all of them had been as welcoming as you would have hoped when you first met them, but that was expected. They were trained not to trust outsiders. Though you had a knack for making others feel comfortable around you. Thankfully it didn’t take too long for them to warm up to you.

“You can’t let her die,” San yelled as Yeosang glared at him, “She’s not going to San. Now shut up and get out of the way.”

As San went to move to get in the driver's seat, he remembered something vital, “Wait Yeo, Y/N’s pregnant. She only found out last night that she was a few months along,” Yeosang and Seonghwa wanted to be excited, wanted to be happy for you, but they couldn’t right now. There was certainly no baby if there was no you.

“I’ve got it San. Start driving and get us back home,” Yeosang said anxiously.

Once the boys arrived home, they cleaned and bandaged you up. Yeosang had already given you a heavy dose of a sedative, wanting you to at least sleep through tonight in some sort of comfort instead of crying out in pain.

“The baby?” San questioned weakly as he sat next to your bed. Yeosang looked to the floor, as Seonghwa intertwined his fingers with his and squeezed them to hint that it was okay to go on.

“We- there- no,” He said nervously, not being able to think of the right words to say in this kind of situation to which San looked confused, eyes darkening.

“What do you mean, no?” He stood up, feeling a little pissed to which Seonghwa cleared his throat, standing to full height, reminding him that he was not the one to blame.

“There was no heartbeat San, the baby is gone,” Yeosang explained, doing his best to keep his tears at bay. At that moment, Yunho burst through the doors, blood splattered on his clothes as he took your hand.

“Y/N, baby. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m here, I’m here now and that’s what matters. You’re okay, we’re okay,” He said as he kissed your temple and squeezed your hand. He looked up at Yeosang, eyes pleading for good news.

“She’s alright Yunho. Pretty banged up, but physically, she’ll heal with time,” Yeosang went to open his mouth, to tell him about the baby but San’s glare and Seonghwa’s harsh pinch to his arm had him closing it in a matter of seconds.

A few days later, you were awake and in an immense amount of pain. Your body hurt, your head hurt, your heart hurt. You had barely spoken three words since you woke up. Currently, you were seated by the window, staring out at the blue sky and bright sun. However, nothing felt right. You still felt empty and cold inside. Yunho had tried to hug you when you had first woken up but you flinched away, panicking at the thought of him holding you, someone touching you.

He had backed off and hadn’t tried to since. San had tried to grab your hand but you harshly pulled it away, refusing to look at him. It had hurt; San was probably the one boy you were closest too and now you could hardly bring yourself to face him. Let alone, your husband. You weren’t blaming them for anything. You weren’t angry or upset with them, but you were with yourself.

How could you look at your husband, knowing that you had killed your child? The little boy or girl that would have been running around in months, bringing joy to everyone’s lives, was now gone. All because you didn’t try hard enough to protect them. How could you look at San, your best friend, knowing that the reason he would never get to see the face of his niece or nephew was because you didn’t block your attackers kicks? It was all your fault, only you were to blame.

Wooyoung had tried talking to you, but you refused. How could you look at the people that have treated you like nothing but family and tell them that all you thought about when sitting by that window was if it was high enough to kill you if you jumped? How could you tell them that you wanted nothing more than to just die? It would be much better than this guilt you were carrying.

Yunho frowned as he watched you, staring blankly out the window as he slowly made his way towards you, placing a kiss on your head. You jumped, turning around with wide eyes but relaxing when you saw it was him.

He had his hands held up in surrender, “Sorry, I’m sorry baby. I just- missed you, that’s all. I forgot,” He sighed.

You offered him a weak smile, patting his hand. You could hold his hand for a minute, until the guilt ate away at you and you’d have to let go.

“Let me help you, Y/N. Please. I love you. Just talk to me,” He begged.

You felt even more guilt pile up as his voice cracked. How could he still love you after all this? You bit your tongue, refusing to say anything. You just couldn’t. Not now and maybe not ever.

“S-San told me about the baby,” He said as he noticed the way you tensed up and refused to meet his gaze. He now knew why you were acting this way, “It’s not your fault, not even close. We’ll get through this, please just let me help you. I’ll have someone to come talk to you. Someone who knows nothing of this life. Please, baby. Please.”

You still didn’t say anything, unshed tears building up in your eyes. He knew that you failed to protect one of the most precious things to you. He didn’t want to leave, but he had too. He had another job and he needed to be there, “I’ll find someone. You’ll talk to them and everything will be okay soon,” He hoped it would be okay, but you knew you would never be okay again.

You were left alone, still trapped in your mind. Then, you couldn’t take it anymore. It was silent but you knew Yunho had left one of the boys behind in case you needed anything. So, you did your best to stay quiet as you made your way to the bathroom and grabbed the pills and you swallowed them all, without hesitation. It didn’t take long for you to feel numb, dizzy, it was hard to breath, but a broken rib or two could do that to you. You laid in your bed, closing your eyes and for the first time in a week, you felt at peace.

***

“Don’t you dare let her, die! She is not going to die. I swear to god if you let her die, I will NOT forgive you,” Yunho bellowed.

You were cold and clammy. Barely breathing as Seonghwa and Yeosang tried to bring you back. Yunho was not going to let you die. He shouldn’t have left. He should have sent someone else and stayed here with you, because now did he not only lose his child, he was also close to losing his wife. Until he heard the beat of the heart monitor. Until he saw you gasp in a breath of air, starting to scream as to why they saved you. Why they brought you back. How could they bring you back after what you did?

His heart broke and before he could stop himself, he was wrapping his arms around you and squeezing you to his chest. Kissing your temple and letting his tears fall, “It’s okay, Y/N. You’re here. I’m here. The boys are here. We’ve got you and we’re going to get through this. By God, we’re going to get through this,” He said as you clung to him, screaming and sobbing. You missed his touch, his comfort.

One by one, the others wrapped themselves around the two of you. They would be damned if they let you die. They’d be here, always, and if that meant getting out of this life, they’d do it. They would do it if it meant they could help you, keep you. Yunho had already made up his mind. Maybe they couldn’t leave this life entirely just yet, but someone else could run the business until you were healed.

Until then, he was going to sit by your side every day. He was going to be there for you every waking moment. He was going to spend whatever time he had left in this life showing you, telling you that you deserved to be here. That it wasn’t your fault and that he would always love you.

For the first time, you felt that maybe, just maybe- it would be okay. Maybe not now, maybe not anytime soon, but one day it will be okay. You will be okay.

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ambrial-blog · 3 years ago

Photo

The Harvest moon: shone through parted trees casting it haunting glow upon a babbling creek below where a prone figure of an imp lay his body contorted in agony as he chokes and gargles on his own blood.

He was so close, a mile down from his family’s farm. if he closes his eyes he could still picture the light of the porch lamp flicker.

He could hear his uncle calling to him... along with the neighbors.

But it couldn’t be... because Scarecrow didn’t know he was coming

He could almost hear his uncle’s boots stomping through the marsh, see the flickering lanterns but with a mouthful of blood it was impossible to call out.

“Wishful thinking... he told himself. He was leading Mammon straight to scarecrow. he knew he was being hunted.. Fizz was relentless

He could them move through the thick brush, he could barely move his body. as he cranes he neck to see, blood dripping from a head wound. He didn’t want to perish here: cold, wet and hungry. he wanted some dignity in death.

He grasps a lump of grass pulling his body up and out of the creak. he rested his head on the ground closing his eyes.

Amber eyes pop open at the distant sound of howling.

“Wolves or hell-hounds?” he thought.

Wolves: the scavengers of the night, were notorious for their ravenous hunger: leading them straight towards the injured imp.

Lord Mammon: the king of greed had really done a number on him: it was bad enough he was the butt of everyone’s joke. not only was he made to dance around like some thoughtless marionette.

Blitzo groans in pain: the trackers beneath his skin giving off a faint glow. If the wolves didn’t get him Fizzorolli sure would he needed to move.. but he just couldn’t.

He wanted to scream but the tick coppery taste of blood kept choking him, gagging him making it difficult to call out for help.

“Can’t stop now” he thought pulling the earth dragging his body along the wet muddy plains before passing out... by a pair of muddy boots.

The sound of spurs... as someone shouts “OVER HERE! yells a stranger with a deep timber-like voice. “COME QUICK! HE”S INJURED! calls one of the boys.

“Blitz hang in there” says one male.

“What the fuck happened to him?” asks another.

“Can you hear me! shouts another.

“Keep him talking! yells a voice off in the distance, keep him lucid”

“FIND SCARECROW! AND RATTLE shouts Derringer.

“Sugar-cube, say something... calls a sandy haired snake imp, with piecing green eyes.

The sound of a gun cracks through the stagnant night catching everyone attention. A wolves body went flying over head, being speared by a pitchfork.

Another wolf gives a sharp yelp, before his body is thrown to the ground a smoldering bullet hole wedged between his eyes.

Through the thick fog, Striker could make out his father: smoke coming from the barrel of his revolver. his eyes were wide and fearful as he looked at his son. Striker had Blitzo’s blood all over him. he refused to give Blitzo to Drake and his brothers who had the peach-skinned serpent cornered, his hat was tilted over his eyes as he hissed at the other snake boys his tail flicking side to side.

“Call off your son! growls Draimen “doesn’t he see, that Blitzo is bleeding out”

Suddenly a pitchfork flies through the air wedging itself between Striker and the brothers reminding everyone of the precious time they had to work with in order to save the loveless Harlequin.

Mammon had crossed the line this time, and as Scarecrow’s walked through the thick fog: he recalls burrying his sister.. the last words she ever spoke to him. and the asshole whole sold his niece and nephew into the circus. all paled in comparison to the way he felt now.

He scoops Blitzo up into his arms, “Run boys! he calls over his shoulder, as more wolves began to appear. Six-snake imp boys darted out of the woods followed by Rattle who brought up the rear end. A snarl in the back of his throat. Blitzo was finally home where he belongs but for how long?. that was the question.

#Hellvua Boss #The Tormented Heart #Rattle/Scarecrow #Blitzo/Striker #Drake/Blitzo #Derringer #Drover #Draimen #first look

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cooking-in-the-desert · 3 years ago

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My favorite salad ever

So, those lucky folks in real life who know me know that I'm an absolute salad junkie.

And no... I don't mean the kind that usually feature in the greatest hits of every midwestern mom's church cookbook that feature cool whip or Jell-O. No - I'm talking about crunchy, fresh, salads with a lot of flavor, texture, and aren't reminiscient of 1950's nostalgia.

Salads are a common weeknight feature in my house since they're easy to prep and throw together and don't require much effort. And if like me, you keep around a bunch of random mason jars from various canning experiments or jars from the Bonne Maman jam you keep buying because it's delicious and the closest thing to your grandmother's homemade jams you can find in a store, making dressings is wicked easy too.

Now - this salad isn't one of those strange salads like the ones you see on tik tok or instagram by that Baked By Melissa chick - I've tried those, and honestly... wasn't that into them. I mean, salad on a chip is great - but honestly I'd rather just go make a big 'ol nacho salad w/ fake meat and cheese. The Baked By Melissa ones make gargantuan servings of healthy tasting salad - and who the hell likes healthy tasting salads? Not me - I like salads that taste like they contain a billion calories and want nothing to do with dressings that contain raw spinach as an ingredient - like, I put raw spinach in the crunchy green part of my salad. That is *more* than enough healthy for me, thanks.

I admittedly like my salads to taste good - and 'healthy' salads often taste like grass to me. If eating grass is your schtick, then by all means, go for it - but I am emphatically not a fan.

So anyway - here's my absolute favorite salad and dressing.

Note: Before anyone comes for me - the honey I use in the dressing recipe came from a hive that was recently removed by a professional beekeeper from a friend's property because the hive was massive and threatened the integrity of a structural wall in their home (some friends recently purchased a house that was vacant for over a year, and a hive of africanized bees set up shop behind the stucco and went to town making themselves at home - the bees had to be removed for everyone's safety - and the honey would have gone to waste otherwise).

Feel free to use bee free honee, maple syrup, brown sugar syrup, or agave nectar in it's place.

Balsamic Dressing

Ingredients:

1/4 cup balsamic vinegar (I like an aged vinegar, such as Oak Creek Olive Mill's - it's locally produced and really delicious).

1/4 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil

3 tbsp honey

3 cloves garlic, finely minced

1 tsp dried basil

2 tsp dijon mustard

salt and pepper to taste

Method:

Combine ingredients in mason jar or container with lid, and shake to emulsify, or whisk to combine well.

Spinach Salad:

1 cup spinach

1 cup romaine lettuce, chopped

1/3 pkg Tempeh bacon (I followed a recipe by the Minimalist Baker - located here):

2 tbsp vegan feta (optional)

5 strawberries, chopped or sliced

1/3 cup cooked quinoa

8 small cherry or grape tomatoes, halved

1/3 cucumber, julienned

1/8 red onion, sliced

2 tbsp sliced almonds

1/2 avocado, diced

2 tbsp dressing

Croutons (optional - if that's your thing).

Layer quinoa, lettuce, spinach, cucumber, onion, tomato, chopped or sliced strawberries, avocado, feta, and almonds. Top w/ as much dressing your heart says to go with today and toss to combine. Serve immediately.

#vegan #vegetarian #salads #eatyourgreens

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tweekedout · 7 years ago

Photo

Youthful days

Circle/ artist: Derpy

Language: English

#s. it's because you taste like home. creek.

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annaofthenorthernlights · 3 years ago

Text

It´s your life

Chapter 3

New world

Kristanna Modern AU

Rating: G

Word counting: 2228

Previous chapters (on AO3)

Note:

I´ve been to Disneyland Paris (Europe) before. Please forgive if there are inadequacies about the resort in CA.

Along this chapter I figured this fanfic takes place around spring 2014. Why? You´ll see…😊

Another note at the end of the chapter.

“You didn´t!”

Anna shrieked with excitement when they turned around the corner, entering the Western-Town-Alley. The imitation of the pioneer-aera town would catapult their guests into the time of cowboys and saloon girls roaming the street. So, the saloon would make the breakfast room, while bank building contained the tourist-information, informing all guests about major events, tickets selling of all sorts and providing material for the trip along the parc. Along the alley there stood little buildings as accommodations from single up to family rooms. At the end of the road there was the “great Casino”, the dining hall. That´s where they would eat shortly, so there was not that much time of wandering about.

The room was clearly expanding the feeling of being thrown back in time. It was situated further down the “towns street”, which was great. Because then one would need to walk all the way along the buildings and exploring the “western flair”.

Anna gnawed on her lower lip as she plunged herself on the wood framed bed, bouncing on the mattress to check its sound and feeling. Okay, it was sturdy, because there was no sound of a squeaky slatted frame.

Kristoff had put down their bags and looked at her amused, sitting down next to her. “You like it?”

“Are you kidding me? I love it. This is so great. Thank you so much considering this type of accommodation.” With that, she perked a kiss to his cheek, laughing and glancing around their nest. It was a simple room, but with a lovely charm to the details of interior and decoration. Nothing fancy, all wooden furniture and a woolen knotted carpet in front of the bed. Not much more. Th bathroom was modern of course, but simple in style, too.

“Glad you do.” Kristoff smiled and lay back for a moment. “I´m still sorry, I can´t give you the exquisite room in the princess hotel… But to be honest, I like it in here quite the more…”

“Stop that!” Anna scolded. “It´s really great, I love it. And I love it even the more, because you do this all for me.” She leaned over and cuddled against his side. Then, she pushed up on her elbow, looking around one more time.

“You know what? This reminds me so much of a story I have recently read on an internet blog site. It´s not a real story, well you know it´s a so-called fanfiction – a story about a story…Never mind, it´s called “Where the world is in the making”, taking place about 150 years ago, pioneer-aera. A young girl from the east coast travels west to marry a young homesteader by advertisement. It´s a hard life but they gradually and slowly start falling in love with each other, without realizing it of course… It´s so romantic and tragic all in one.” Anna laid back into her man´s embrace and sighed. It was good to know, they wouldn´t have to go over to some creek to get some washing…

Kristoff had listened. He was not the reader, but he liked listening to her story telling. He had heard of it before, of women traveling far to get married to some advertising men in the west. That was so crazy. But it was a different time and apparently it had worked. Somehow. Maybe. Who really knew today what they had lived like?

*******

Their table at the Casino restaurant was situated by the window and they had the perfect view onto the street. Anna sat beaming, and glancing around the place in disbelief. She could hardly take it all in, the moment was to blissful to her. She pulled up her shoulders and pressed her lips together.

“I can´t believe we´re sitting here. This is… wonderful. Thank you so much!” She reached over and Kristoff responded by squeezing her hand, smiling. “You´re welcome. Glad you enjoy yourself so immensely.”

A young woman stepped up to their table and pulled them out of their stare. She smiled so naturally and handed the menu. “Hi. I´m Honeymaren and I will be your server tonight. What can I bring you for drinks?”

When the server had left with their orders, Anna leaned back in her chair and tilted her head in thought.

“A penny for your mind.” Kristoff leaned back himself.

“Hm. I was thinking.” Anna fiddled with her fingers. “About that story, that I´ve told you just before. Those times must have been harsh and dangerous, too. I wonder how brave people back then must have been. I mean, they have left their former homes, pursuing a dream to find a golden future in the western realms. They have built new homes, towns, and established communities. Okay I´m not going into the dark chapter of forcing whole folks to move and leaving their land of ancestors. That was the bad history… But they had literally formed a “new world”. Like in that story I read, it was in the making. Are we still “in the making”, or is it all done and settled?”

“That´s a good question. I think we should never be “done” and stop dreaming of a better world. Otherwise, we get lazy and inattentive. That´s dangerous.”

That moment, Honeymaren appeared with their drinks and was ready to get their meal order taken. While Kristoff and Anna still take a quick moment to gaze into their menu cards, the young woman looks back and forth between them, curling her lips. When she´d taken their wishes, she smiled, thanked, and disappeared. Once behind the bar, she hurried to the phone and started to dial a number. “Mathias! Hi. Honeymaren here…”

“I hope Elsa is alright.” Anna bites her lips and looks genuinely concerned. “I mean, it was not nice of me to cut her off like that. It´s not her fault, our family is in that business. Now, she had to deal with excusing me in some way. But then, the time would never be right for this, no?”

“No. It´s not. Whenever you would want to decide for yourself, you´d be the “troublemaker”. But Anna. Again, no matter what happens, I will be there for you. Not telling you what to do, but to support you. Okay?”

Now, her smile was back. “Yes, I know. Thank you. It´s just… Well, I guess that I will get to hear my lot. And I´m sure grandpa won´t put up with my “rebellion” and support me in this. So, I was wondering if I might be even able to finish my exams in the first place. I will have to take it step by step once back home. But that´s okay. I have time, don´t I? Otherwise, I will change plans and do something else. Something useful, that I know I will be good at, somehow. Around normal people, in a normal world.”

“Yes, you will!” Kristoff smiled at her reassuringly.

***

Kristoff held the little gift in his hand, unsure to give it Anna yet… When he had picked her up today, he had not expected the call Anna would get from Elsa. For some reason it had hit him in a spot, he had not realised before. Kristoff loved Anna for so many reasons. Maybe the greatest one was the fact that she loved him so naturally, so unconditionally, even though she was raised in such high standard surroundings.

But then, she had suffered this ugly betrayal, painfully facing the smirked mask of greed, when Hans had dropped her like a cheap cloth to the ground. She had been nothing more than a good trespass into the Rendelle business. Once his chances of career at the well named establishment got shrinking, she had been of no interest or rather use to him anymore. He was gone, faster than he had shown up. She´d been so embarrassed and devastated.

So, when Kristoff had first met her, it had been merely per accident. They had bumped practically into each other on a birthday party, neither of them had been eager to attend. That friend of hers from Senior High had moved on ever since. Kristoff had been invited by Sven, who had been invited by the birthday girl´s boyfriend. Sometimes the world was just small indeed.

Kristoff smiled at the memory of that first so dreadful evening, that at the end turned out to be so warm and wonderful. They had – by fate? – landed sitting next to each other, both kind of uninterested in great talk, while Anna was the one starting the conversation. First on a more polite basis, where at the end, they found themselves wound up discussing all sorts of things, from music, movies, food tastes, cars (well that was more his part, but she had listened and shown great interest best she managed), up to holiday spots worth dreaming about. And when he told her about his passion of working with wood and tools of all kinds, her eyes sparkled with pure and honest interest. He was bewildered at this recognition and asked her about this affection. Anna had smiled and explained, that she loved it when people were excited about what they did or loved. She didn´t know that much about passionate work or hobbies because all she was ever taught was to work hard for the family name and focus on that career. There was not much space left for anything else.

And when he had invited her to come and look at some of his and Sven´s projects, she had eagerly agreed and had never failed to show her pure interest.

Kristoff was positive that Anna would make her way and do a great job, no matter what she would do. If it were to help with guests and provide breakfast for them at his parents boarding house. She would do it enthusiastically and passionately. If she would defend some kid from being accused of robbery or any other unproved mischief, and then getting the best deal sorted out at court – she would be great. He was sure.

But now, he was wondering if his plans would fit her upcoming life. Just today, she had taken the courage to step away from an old life that had kept her in its forceps for so long. Was it fair if he asked her into his world like that? Binding her to him in this way, that maybe meant that she would be kept captive again? She deserved all freedom to herself now.

Kristoff sat on the edge of the bed, turning the little giftbox in his hands, waiting for Anna to emerge from the bathroom. When he heard the shower being turned off, he quickly stored the little box off into the nightstand drawer.

***

A desperate yell from the bathroom, followed by a shower of swearing from Anna´s exaggerated and clearly annoyed and shocked voice startled the young man to jump and hurry over to the bathroom door, just to push it open.

“Goodness, Anna! Are you alright?”

She stood wrapped in the towel, fumbling within her toilet bag, all the while stamping her foot, frowning, and swearing to the bag. Then she looked up, a miserable expression on her face, close to tears.

Kristoff stepped closer, worried she was hurt or in pain or whatsoever. “Hey, honey, what´s the matter?” He didn´t dare touch her while she looked so furious in a way.

Anna let out a heavy sigh, shrugged helplessly, and then held up the accusing delict.

Kristoff studied the little white cotton thing that was swinging in front of his nose and once recognising what it was, he grimaced and withheld the laugh.

Anna blurted out in a wild explosion, “I´m so sorry! It´s terrible, I had forgotten completely about this. It started just this evening. I´m so sorry….” She pleaded frustrated… At some point she had lowered her hand, fumbling with the tampon, annoyed...

Kristoff couldn´t help but laugh inwardly. Yep, that was bad timing, but for sure not her fault. So, he wouldn´t blame her or anything. That was after all a nature´s circle and part of the game.

He shrugged, scratched at the back of his head and sighed.

“Well, that´s too bad, isn´t it. I mean, think of it. Every princess of this resort and her catch ´might have sex tonight, except for us. Not think of what Mickey and Minnie Mouse will be up to…?” He grinned.

Anna stared at him. He was the best. Surely, he would be upset. But then, he was always so considerate when it came to her various conditions. By now, she shook her head in amusement and punched a fist to his upper arm.

“You pervert!” Then, she laughed and gnawed her lower lip. “Dam it! Now, I can´t get the picture out of my head!”

“We can change that.” Kristoff remarked, and pulled her close to him, “I´m sure we figure out some other ways of cherishing our time together.”

Anna frowned again and sighed, “but…!” She gestured to the room. “But… This is sooo amazing, and I screw it up!”

“No. You don´t! This not your fault and it isn´t like we wouldn´t get some other chance, wouldn´t we? Still… I do envy Mr. Cotton a bit, you know.”

That was it. Anna shoved him out of the bathroom playfully scolding him along the way.

*********

Note: The idea of mentioning another fanfic within the fanfic was very spontaneous – including the authors´ consent (WTWIITM – thanks to @upthenorthmountain and @karis-the-fangirl) 😊

#Fanfiction #Frozen fanfic #Kristanna fanfic #Modern AU #mine #fanfic within the fanfic surprise #Anna #Kristoff

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Top 12 Christmas Episodes!

Merry Christmas Eve Everybody! We’ve reached the end of my christmas reivews and what not on this blog.

But as a wise barrel chested canadian man once said, I fucking love christmas, So if i’m finishing up the holiday on my blog I want to go big and stay home. So in honor of the holiday, my memories of it and just how GREAT it makes me feel i’m counting down my top 12 christmas specials! After last year’s worst of list I really wanted to do the oppsiite.. but it was naturally a lot harder. Shows usually put a LOT of effort into their christmas outings, even the ones who do so once a year, so the good FAR FAR OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. To show the contrast I could only find like.. 8 I was comfortable with putting on the worst list and even some of them aren’t that bad just not good. With the best of list? I had over 60 considered and even once I started narrowing down.. it was still around 30 or 40 REALLY GOOD specials I had to work down into this list. It took a lot of work and up to the last one it was really HARD to cut it down this far. But this is the best of the best of the best of the best of the.. you get the bit. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover and this review was already supposed to come out on christmas eve, so, since I won’t be able to use this for another year...

Er. Top 12 Christmas Specials.

12. Merry Christmas Johnny Rose (Schitt’s Creek) So I finally watched all of Schitt’s Creek this year.. and i’m kicking myself for not powering through it’s terrible starting decent ending first season earlier because the show is easly one of the best comedies of the last decade and rightly earned it’s emmy sweep this year. Heartfelt, hilarious, and starring some of the best names old and new in comedy, the show is really great and I recommend checking it out.. just again be aware the first few episodes are not very good and if it wasn’t vital to the rest of the show story wise, i’d just recommend skippping season 1. While the characters minus patriach Johnny are insuferable at first... it’s their growing from self absorbed assholes to still self abosrbed but really good and decent people that is the beating heart of the show. And no where more is this heart on the show’s sleve than at christmas time as this episode is baked in just how far our cast have come.

The episode centers on Johnny Rose, played by Eugene Freaking Levy who co created the show with his equally talented son Dan who desrves the lion’s share of the credit for the show’s upturn in quality. Since the Roses used to have big lavish christmas parties once a year, Johnny decides to throw the equilvent of what they can do on a budget at the Motel they all live in. But his family all has other plans with daughter Alexis, now happily with Ted again, meeting his friends for the first time, son David, played by Dan Levy, busy at his store with his partner, in both senses, patrick and his wife Moira having a performance with her acapella group. At first it just comes off as something typical of johnny: Something well meaning and what not but ultimatley just not something his family is into or that he planend well for.

It’s only when Johnny finds himself alone at the local diner with Moira coming to see him we find out why he’s REALLY doing this: the old lavish parties, which we see one of at the start.. ultimately ended up with him alone, sad and everyone off to their own corners. WIth the family having actually come together over the past 4 seasons, Johny simply wanted to celebrate that and says such in one of the best moments in the entire show and with one hell of a line.

"I just thought, in spite of all the hardship, we found ourselves coming together, the kids, you and me, as a family. And it just seemed like the perfect day to celebrate that. The perfect day for a Rose Family Christmas Party." But Moira has already taken care of it and thus takes JOhnny home to find all their friends and the rest of the family gathered, wtih the Jazzagals serandading eveyrone with a beautiful rendition of silent night. It’s just a warm, well done character piece that really fits the holiday while also really cementing what the show had become: a show not afraid to make dirty jokes or humilatie it’s cast but one that has a true sweetness to it. It’s only that the first half’s jokes don’t quite pop all that well and feel a bit at johnny’s expense that holds it back. Otherwise this is one i’ll be coming back to every year.

11. Father of the Bob (Bob’s Burgers) Bob’s Burgers is a damn great show i’m season’s behind on. Warm, charming, weird and with an expansive side cast played by a whos who of whose in comedy today. It’s a damn fine show and i’m happy it seems to have manatained it’s quality long after the simpsons and family guy lost theirs. And the show really loves christmas.. and halloween.. and valentine’s day.. and thanksgiving. Oh god does it love thanksgiving. Point is, the shows good at holiday episodes and loves doin em and has produced some stellar ones and I had a lot to pick from here.. but I ended up going with my gut and my personal faviorite. It’s not the most christmasy despite the trappings, but the character work is just too good to leave it out in the cold. It’s Christmas Eve and the Belcher’s are visiting Bob’s Dad. As you can tell by the fact the most we’ve seen of him is a picture of his restraunt, big bob’s diner in the belcher’s living room and a flashback where he told bob to work instead of play as a kid that set off an episode’s plot, they don’t have the best relationship. Bob has a firm rule about not spending more than 15 minutes with his dad, as that’s the point they run out of things to talk about and his dad starts getting overcrytical and making jabs at bob’s life and restraunt. Linda, being Linda, decides to meddle and when she finds out Big Bob’s short order cook is missing, has our Bob fill in. But as we see in flash backs it’s not THAT easy to repair things, as there’s a long, bitter history between the two: When a youngbob made his first unique burger and served it to a customer, his dad threw it out without even letting anyone taste it. He then offered bob a partnership when bob was a young man but Bob snapped at Big Bob in front of his friends and left to make burgers his own way, leading to where we are now. And honestly i’ts the perfect origin story for Bob and adds a lot of shades to his character. He’s obessed with the restraunt not just because he genuinely loves cooking but because it’s HIS. His place, to create creative burgers, his family and his regulars. It’s his corner of the sky. It makes the restraunt’s existance and surivvial that much more heartwarming to know the meaning behind it.

Naturally things end up blowing up with Bob pointedly serving the burger to make a point and Big bob walking out angrily and sadly. It takes bob’s gift from the kids, who had their own neat subplot of making gifts for bob in the basement, a snowglobe wrapped in newspaper.. to find out hsi dad kept the newspaper with the review of his first restraunt and kept ALL reviews of Bob’s Burgers. Despite being a stone faced critical ass on the outside, Big BOb STILl cared.. and bob relizes he needs to make amends and actually make an effort instead of just avoiding his dad or gettin gback at him. And through the power of gay club next door line dancing, and nick offerman whose a wonderful guest star here, the two reconcile with Bob admitting he shouldn’t of humilatied his dad even if he had to go his own way, and Big Bob admitting he’s hard to work with, the loss of his wife hit him hard, and he was a bit too much. The two hug, and it’s genuinely just a good, well done story of father and son that somehow gives even more dimension to Bob, an already pretty damn fleshed out character. Just a really great episode whose holiday timing makes it better.. though not being AS much a holiday episode as a really good bob’s burgers that’s enhanced by it is why this one’s so low. Next!

10. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (MST3K) I”m honestly surpised i’ts taken me THIS long to get to something MST3K related. I’ve loved the show since high school, first exposed to it thanks to a dvd from the library and continuing from there to present day. I love the show’s combination of riff’s on perfectly cheesy movie and fun skits with really good puppets especially for the budget. It’s just good comfort food in show form and no where is comfort food more welcome than christmas, and each era of MST3K, so far hopefully the show will come back again eventually, has had i’ts own damn good christmas special, with this being my faviorite out of the three.

The other two are good: ironically I have a poster for the santa claus over my computer, or rather crow and tom as santa and pitch aka satan respectively. Yes really, that’s the premise. IT is as awesome and batshit insane as it sounds. Point is I like that one and year without a santa claus, this one just has more personal warmth to me. I jus tlove the holiday feeling of joel and the bots readying for christmas in the host segments. It just feels like christmas and it’s wonderful to see the bots act like kids. That being said.. it’s still also fucking hilaroius, with the mad’s hilariously petty wish squisher, a device that turns good gifts into socks and other unwanted presents, the best Crow T Robot quote of all time as he gives joel his santa wish

And of course, one of the best and most patently insane christmas songs ever: Have Yourself a Patrick Swayze christmas, which has become oddly sweet after his death and got me to watch road house for the first time last year... and it’s as awesome and wonderfully rediclous as this song inspiried by it and even better once you get the refrences

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But while the host segments are what push this film into the list, the movie is still a delightful bit of 60′s cheese as, to restore their children to being children, a couple of martians kidnap santa to bring christmas to mars. Fights iwth robots, an asshole martian and an obnoxious sidekick named droppo, yes really, insue. IT’s just some fun cheese for the holiday and a staple of my holidays.

9. The Three Wise Men (Letterkenny) It’s no secret Letterkenny has quickly become one of my faviorite shows. After watching it last January, it’s become part of my being and one of my go too feel good shows, a funny as hell, uniquely weird slice of life show set in rural canada. While like it’s fellow recent legend of canadian television Schitt’s creek it’s first season CAN be a bit rough.. but it’s not as rough and getting through it is worht it as the show immiedatly picked up and became one of the funniest things to ever exist. It’s also uniquely tied to christmas as every year a season of the show has dropped on that day on it’s home streamer Crave TV in canada, and on boxing day here in the us. So it’s only fitting the show also has a REALLY great christmas special.

It’s Christmas eve and our heroes the hicks, are having a christmas party. For the uniniated the hick’s aren’t really all that “hick” ish just hardworking farmers who still accept everybody and work damn hard. Leading man, terse talker and certified badass Wayne is suprisingly really into christmas, as he spent pretty much every holiday spouting out inacuracies about it but this day? He genuienly enjoys, even insiting on awful holiday drinks only and a midnight toast, the titular three wiseman (Canadian, irish and American Whiskeys, one shot of each). “It’s tradition”. And thanks to tradition we get the main gag of the episode: most of the episode is wayne calling in various members of the town, most of whom he dosen’t like very much and some who deeply annoy him, to give them presents. And while i’ve admitted to being a guy who dosen’t like a plot that basically repeats itslef.. it works here.. mostly because while the setup is the same, each member provides something new and hilarious: while it starts innocently enough with Bonnie Mcmurray, local fanservice, nice lady and fangirl of wayne, getting a camera and offering to be an elf, an offer wayne is forced to take up, it soon becomes a parade of weirdness and bullshit Wayne really dosen’t want to put up with and that really makes me laugh hard: Local loveable sex maniac and bar owner Gail goes on for a good minute about her sexual antics with Wayne’s beloved departed uncle eddie after Wayne gives him a picture of the guy, Glenn, another of wayn’es unwanted admirers and local pastor, obsesses over a christmas themed digeredoo, local druggies and emos the skids intitally refuse to open their gift out of prinicpal until wayne simply asks “What if theres drugs in it” (It’s insted vitamin d), the local hockey coach sings a hilarious and gloriously cringe song about having sex with his wife when they were alive and the hockey players make wayne uncomfortable both by crying a bit. Also tanis gets an apron.

But even if the reactions horrify or piss off our hero into needing his elf’s help, the heart is in the fact that despite hating most of these people, he still got them a gift and one that’s hearfelt and well meaning. And naturally the sweetest is saved for his family of choice with the hicks: Squirrely Dan gets a pencil case for his oft talked about women’s studies class, Dary gets some clonge since he wears his barn clothes everywhere, and Katy gets an obscure korean christmas movie since her subplot that episode had been spent trying to get a christmas movie going, only for everyone to pick it apart: from the racisim of santa and co towards rudolph to pointing out how profoundly fucked up the premise of the santa claus is (including the fact various serial killers could’ve gotten the suit), which I agree with, it’s just a sweet gesture that shows how well he knows his friend. Overall it’s just a fun hangout of an episode that feels like a real christmas party and in these troubling times we could all use that. Now let’s all have a spit.

8. The Feast of Alvis (Sealab 2021) Another Christmas staple for me.. and a gloriously strange one at that. This time we’re checking under the sea with Sealab 2021, one of the earliest adult swim shows and the blueprint for the abriged series format, it took a dry hannah barbara show about an underwater research station and remixed it into the antics of a bunch of idiots and lunatatics throughuly unequipped for the task. Except Dr. Quinn, the only sane person aboard.. most of the time. It was comedy gold courtsey of Adam Reed, creator of the later Frisky Dingo, a throughly underated show, and Archer, which is like Frisky Dingo but refined into it’s truest and most sucessful form. It was magical and just talking about it makes me want to talk about it again at some point, probably in a best of list. So naturally this madcap energy was perfect for the holidays. Originally the crew planned to use ACTUAL religions for this, but were forced by network to change it.. which ended up being one of those cases where the network ended up actually making the right call as the creators instead created thinly veiled substute for the various religions... and centered it around Alavanism, which is christianity.. but if christ was instead born in the us at some point, and instead of being a pacifist, was a drunken beligernt gun loving redneck who shot a guy in the face, has “vengance is mine” as one of his quotes (from said face shooting) and still had pomp and circumstance as part of his holiday. Helping this though is our Alvian for the evening is Captain Murphy, the series best character and often the center of it’s best moments, played by the wonderful and sadly late Harry Goz, a half crazed half chidlish cloud cuckoolander who often comes off like a demanding child in an old man’s body. So naturally this holiday is for him and even more naturally he’s holding a massive alvis day cermeony that’s as batshit as he and his religion are in the main deck: he’s got buffalo, a buffet that’s deeply unsanitary, and a hallogen light mimickign the alvistide star that he wants to plop a baby under. Naturally no one else is happy about this. Well Stormy, local hilarious dumbass, is as the only other alvian on board for this, and a general sucker for dumb shenanigans but he’s so plastared he’s even less coherent than usual and can mostly muster the desire to kick something’s ass or a weak “shut up” Most of all Quinn and his girlfriend debbie, who point out religious tolerance is a part of the sealab charter and that this kind of grotesuqe celebration really isn’t in season. I’ts also a nice dig at “War on Christmas Assholes”, long before that was as big a problem with Muprhy very much being the asshole and his cleebration rapidly crumbling. He also attempts to fire Sparks for being a wiccan stand in so yeah he deserves it. It’s all capped in Muprhy getting visted by a drunken halucination of his lord. All in all easily one of the best and most insane christmas specials ever put to film. If you have HBO Max watch it today or tommorow you will NOT regret it.

7. Arnold’s Christmas (Hey Arnold) A classic of my childhood, Hey Arnold is one of the best animated shows period. It’s something i’m not shy about saying, I bleivie I said it in my thanksgiving list and i’ll say it quite a bit. It’s not PERFECT, it has it’s flaws.. but it’s still damn good and the golden standard for slice of life shows.

This episode naturally is one of it’s best and, while I didn’t catch as a kid the signifigance or what this was about, touches on of all things the vietnam war and the children who were helicoptered out. In a heart destroying story, Mr. Winn, one of Arnold’s boardinghousemates, reveals he has a daughter he has no idea where she is as to give her a better life, he made sure she got on one of those helicopters as an infant. While he was able to immigrate later, he never found her. Arnold being our own personal jesus, refuses to let this stand and goes out of his way to figure it out and goes on a quest that seemingly ends in failure. It falls on Helga to save the day as Helga actually gets what she wanted from her parents, a pair of nice boots, and gets the rare moment where they actually acknoledge her.. but loving arnold and seeing the noblility in his quest.. she gives it up. Just to make someone elses’ dream come true. He may never know who did it and tha’ts okay. An utterly heartwarming and heartbreaking episode. Nuff said.

6. Santa Claus is Comin To Town Speaking of classics this is how you do a santa origin story. Not the first or last i’d see, and we’ll get to one of those in a moment. While i’m not a huge fan of Rankin Bass’ other big hit with Rudolph, this one really hits the spot for me and is only this low because it’s pacing is really slow at points. Otherwise this special is near flawless, looks good and holds up today. As I said this is a good Year One for santa establishing how he became immortal, how he met the elves, he was raised by them, how he started giving out toys, how he met mrs claus you know all the stuff you’d ask about. To me what really sells it the best though is Mickey Rooney as Santa. While I had no idea who played him till literally writing this article in my mind his earnesness, kindness and genuine nature just.. fit the old elf to me even as a young man and everything from his humble beginings to his wanting to help children just out of kindness to his teaching an old man to dance to his romance just feels.. genuine and warm like christmas should. It just makes me feel good and like others on this list.. FEELS like christmas if that makes any sense. Not a lot else to say. Burger Meister Meisterburger isn’t the best vilian, but it was the early 70′s and we weren’t quite to diamond levels of complex interesting villians just yet so fair enough. Baiscally I don’t have a TON to say about this special in short, I may review it next year, we’ll see, but it’s really good, really fun and sometimes simple just works I guess? Speaking of stop motion..

5. Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas (Community) I love a good sitcom. I haven’t shared that love enough on here, I should try and change that at some point, but I do, as a fourth of this list should make crystal clear. So while sadly some of my faviorites like Brooklyn Nine Nine, Parks and Rec and Roseanne didn’t make the cut, Community thankfully did. Community is a show that’s really damn good and had THREE awesome Christmas episodes. All three, all winners and all in contention for some time. Regional Holiday music just barely didn’t make the cut. But ultimately I went with the best of the best, the most creative, most character driven, and most intresting. And the one that in Community’s traditional style, decided to take a spin on an old genre. In this case Abed, the study groups resident pop culture junkie, guy who thinks in tropes and future Huey Duck, is seeing everything in stop motion and may get thrown out of school as a result. With his friends deeply worried, they turn to Greendale’s local psychologist and british areshole Professor Duncan, played by my spirtual father John Oliver. ALL HAIL THIS MAN

Duncan takes the two into Abed’s fantasy and thus into a rankin bass special where Abed slowly weeds out his friends and tries to get rid of Duncan, whose naturally only intrested in proving a case. It’s a fun, chaotic ride including christmas pterodactyls, and the cast all in bizzare forms based on what Abed thinks of htem. it’s really damn creative and beauitfully animated at that. Naturally like most of these what clinches it is the heart and soul. We find out towards the end WHy this happened: Abed’s mom is spending christmas with her new family instead of him and it’s broken him to not be able to watch specials like they do> Thus the group rally behind their friend, beat duncan in a wonderful christmas number and watch specials with their buddy, as the weird ass family some of whom have or will make out, they are.

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas With my love of comic strips and sentiment, it should suprise absolutely no one this is on here. I love peanuts and have only grown to love it more over hte years for it’s mealancholy, finely constructed cast and weird bits people forget about like Snoopy’s disco phase, that really damn good arc where his house burned down, his brother stealing his fiance only to have her stolen from him, the fact Lucy threw Linus out once, that peppermint patty was once held back a grade and her snores took her place at her desk, the fact there was a character named 5, Charlie Brown and Linus’ friend roy who introduced peppermint patty to the cast, the fact a character named crybaby boobie exists, the fact there are specials devoted to a pastiche of call of the wild, a friend of linus’ getting cancer, and Flashbeagle. Just flashbeagle.

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It is glorious. And I really need to add that to my review queue.. maybe for late january. Seriously, tis glorious. And I OWN this one. So yeah. What were we talking about? Oh yes the special that made all the specials, especially flashbeagle, possible: A Charlie Brown Christmas This one has always been part of my life, but even beyond it’s signifigance to me, having grown up with it and grafted it to my soul, it’s just .. good. It has some good commentary on the consumrisim of the holiday with Charlie Brown rightly a bit upset about it and ending up roped into directing a christmas play. Great gags, and charlie brown trying to stick up for a scragly tree no one enlse likes insue. Oh and scripture as this is probably the only overtly religious special on the list. Not that ther’es anything wrong with not being religious and celebrating christmas: i’m not anymore but I still do and while I respect people who celebrate the holiday int he spirit of christ I have none for people who bash anyone who dosen’t just see it religiously and whose over zealous about it. Your just as bad as war on christmas people and you should feel bad. But yeah overal it’s just an inconic special whose clunkyness in production and audio just adds some charm to it. It shows it’s age.. but only in the animation and production values, which is just.. charming. It’s message is timeless, it’s characterization is perfect as you’d expect from peanuts in it’s prime, and i’ts ending is truly heartmelting. If you’ve never seen this one.. just go do that. I can wait.

3. How Santa Stole Christmas! (Ducktales) I”ll be brief on this one as, since it only aired a few weeks ago, i’ve already done a full review on it. But I will justify why such a recent special is this high up: because it’s just that good. It may of JUST been aired, but it’s as good as anything else here and age dosen’t matter. Quality does. There will likely be future specials worth this list i’m sure but for this moment in time this one earns it. It has Santa perfectly charactrized and tells an utterly heartrending story of friendship that ends up ending simply because the two are moving in opposite directions and of Scrooge learning the meaning of christmas. Not thorugh the ghosts, they already brilliantly messed with that one. It’s just really fantastic, gets the christmas spriit perfectly and uses the characters just as flawlessly. I will defintely be watching this one every year. Just a warm, creative, funny as hell special.

2. Comfort and Joy (Justice League) Speaking of reviews I held off reviews of my final two so I could save more thoughts here. I probably still will review them eventually, especially this one, I just felt i’d be repeating myself or have to be brief like the last one. But yeah this one slaps. The Justice League cartoon is easily one of the best superhero cartoons, if not superhero properties, period. Taking the base already built in from the previous three dcau cartoons, this one builds out the world and expands it , and introduced a young me to my lifelong loves of Martian Manhunter, The Flash and especailly the green lanterns with John Stewarts badass reciting of the oath easily etched in my brain. The only reason he isn’t my faviorite lantern is because mogo exists.. aka the lantern that is a living planet.

You can see why. But yeah Jon stuck in my mind. So it’s probably no suprise that the christmas special heavily featuring all three. It’s Christmas Time and after the league stops it’s usual disaster, they head off for their usual holiday activities. Batman and Wonder Woman are missing, but it’s fine. While I love both, especailly DCAU Batman, the episode is probably better off not trying to shove them in there just for the sake of it. One of the show’s greatest strength’s was character ballance, not forcing EVERY member of the big 7 into every episode and just using whose needed and shuffling them in and out FAR BETTER than say, Ducktales. Point is this, much like being loved by anyone, was not unusual and it makes the episode tighter. Even more so since this is the ONLY half hour episode in the first two seasons, the rest are basically hour long episodes split into two parters, though still paced for being two episodes so it’s good.. and three movie length three parters for the premire, and the season finales. Fun Fact: As a kid I missed starcrossed and thus had to find out second hand, and barely at that, why hawkgirl was gone at the start of unlimited. I still have not seen it. I will correct this eventually. It was a diffrent time.

So yeah this episode not only has a main character cast of 6, with 3 other major supporting characters, but is handily split into three amazing plot lines. The first has Green Lantern try to teach Hawkgirl how to have christmas fun by playing on a snowy world, while Hawkgirl takes him to a bar to show how she celebrates.. i.e. getting hammered and starting a fight. Nanananana, she’s gonna start a fight. It’s a fun really sweet segment, and some nice ship tease between the two. The other two though are what make this special.. not that the first one is bad these two are just really inspiried for the characters involved: For the Flash, who in this series is both Wally and a bit of a smug quipster.. we see beneath the ego and flirting he’s really a sweet, caring guy and spends his christmas finding a toy for the orphans in this case a rapping duck.

Not QUITE as embarassing btu close. He runs into the Ultra Humanite whose destroying the toys because he hates the comercialism and how it dumbs things down for the kids. Have I mentioned that I love the Ultra Humanite? Because I do.. the animated version. The comics version is REALLY fucking creepy but this version? He’s fucking great, an intellectual whose a formidable threat.. and honestly sympathetic. His motive here, while misguided, is well meaning and his price for selling out the injustice gang and going back to jail quitely? one of the best gags in human history. Getting PBS to say “This program was supported by viewers like you.. and the ultra humanite” He’s just awesome and i’ts a shame he never returned for unlimited. His comic version, while not BAD is just.. not NEARLY as intresting or deep and I wish the comics would have him take after this version. And that depth shows as once he learns what was going on, he willingly helps flash and simply reprograms the duck to recite the nutcracker. It’s a really nice gesture, that flash returns by giving his foe a christmas tree. Really good stuff. And I saved the best for last. Heading home for the holidays, Clark takes Jonn with him since otherwise he’d be stuck at the watchtower and batman was apparnetly “Begging” for duty. Granted one wonders what his surrogate dad and adopted sons think but odds are alfred would just drag them up there anyway no mater how much Dick protested. And of course Alfred has watchtower clearance, he’s alfred: he’s the only one besides Diana looking out for bruce.. and no I don’t buy the bullshit from the batman beyond comics that never happened. And Clark too, this is true... but it takes a village to get bruce to go the fuck to sleep and most of that villiage is alfred. And if your wondering “wait won’t he be in danger”... the only thing that can kill this man is apparently bane. He’s survivied earthquakes, poisonings, turning into a supervillian via radaition induced crazies, yes really, apparently dying leading to the supervillian thing, being stabbed, being shot at, having to help raise damien... my point is the guy’s been through a lot in comics, I doubt the dcau version is any less resilent and god damn I miss this old man. Salute alfred, salute. Where was I oh yeah, Clark insists on taking John home. And it’s stuff like this why I freaking love superman. Many dismiss him as corny, unrelaistic or boring.. all untrue. Sure he’s a boyscout, but he’s meant ot resprsent the best in mankind, what we can truly be powers or no, what we can achieve and the kind of moral, kind person we can be. He’s an inspiration for us all. And this kind of act is what shows that: his response to one of his friends having nowhere to go on christmas and not having been around the holiday? Take him to his house to share in the warmth and love. And Clark’s parents here show WHY he’s the hero he is and why I freaking love them in all flavors.. except Zack Snyder flavor and even then tha’ts only for Pa “Letting people die is the right thing to do now i’m going to throw myself into a tornado to prove that” kent. But it’s christmas so i’m not here to bitch about zack snyder and if you want that in full, you can pay for it. My point is they show, as they should how he became the moral paragon he is: they meet a man from mars, who they’ve never met and their son just invited.. and welcmoe him without a thought. While this isnt’ their first alien obviously, and they say so, it’s still really sweet they just warmly welcome the man in and give him their surrogate daughter/their sons’ biological cousin’s room while sh’es away. Oh Kara’s away conveniently skiing with barbra. Also she lives with them in this continuity. Also maybe that’s where dick is. I dunno, but I hope so. Dickbabs for life.. depending on the continuity. I”m still dick and star for life in the titans cartoon. Point is we get nice of sweet, and hilaroius, holiday stuff: Jonn is suprised to see this side of clark: while he’s always warm and inviting as Clark.. he can also be relaxed, enjoy the holiday and get real spirited. For one day he dosen’t have to be superman. He can just be clark. Evne superman can take a day off.. and he’s superman, he desrves one. Let Bruce and Diana take care of it after they finish marathon sex and Diana finshes with Cheetaah and Maxwell lord. But yeah as I was saying hilarious as we find out clark used to peak and they had to, and still do, line it with lead foil to make sure he can’t peak, and Martha gives John a sweater, saying his company is all they need for a gift and when it’s a bit big he charmingly grows into it. Jonn also walks among the humans a bit and we get a great little bit of him sneaking down a chimney after hearing the thorughts of a girl whose worried santa isn’t real. It’s just all great stuff that cumilates in Jonn joyfully singing a song in his native tounge while stroking Kara’s cat Streaky.. who sadly does not have a cape or super powers in this universe. Yet. Just a really good superhero story, a damn fine christmas story and one of the best episodes of a stellar show that thankfully is still remembered in this new age of heroes.

1. It’s Christmas You Dorks (Harvey Beaks) Yup not probably a lot of people’s first choice but fuck it. I’ve loved this one since i saw it a few years ago shorlty after the series ended, having grown far behind and caught up just as it was ending... and regretted it as Harvey Beaks is easily one of my faviorite shows from the wall to wall hit parade that was the 2010′s. It’s charming, hilaroius, heartfelt, and creative.. and really weird if not as weird as CH Greenblaht’s previous show chowder.. but still weird enough.Thankfully Big City Greens is carying the banner for this kind of show, as is Craig of the Creek, so the kind of gentle, slice of life stuff hasn’t gone away, but this show was still it’s own thing and i’m sad it’s gone. But while it was here it was spectacular and this is one of the best of em if not the best. And naturally for a show like this it has a neat approach: The episode is dialouge free, only having some singing in the last act and that’s diagetic, the characters singing a christmas song. We’ll get to that. This isn’t the FIRST silent christmas special i’ve seen, Courage the Cowardly dog did it’s own take on the nutcracker, but it’s still the best. And given Courage the Cowardly Dog is one of my faviorite shows, that’s high praise. Each segment is charming, unique, and well done.

As for what each are: The wraparound is a gorgeously animated bit of stop motion or something like it where the spirit of winter goes around and turns fall to winter or helps the kid with winter fun. It’s a bunch of really adorable stuff. The first proper one is the kids having a snowball fight when a bunch of asshole adults interupt, and hte kids end up getting even by hiding in some snowmen. Again just some really fun, really well done stuff. But the first one that really makes it follows Technobear, local wannabe ladies man in training who has a crush on Harvey’s mom and fantasies about giving her some lovely read shoes and skating with her. His hopes are dashed when instead her daughter michelle, the horrifing baby child pictured above, takes them instead. But not only is it heartwarming to see the stone faced future rule of the world crack a smile, Techno instnatly realizes whats’ improtant and takes the bby ice skating. The next segment is just some goofy googus with the squirrels, the local crooks who are also squirreels, but it’s still pretty good. We then get Jeremy trying to be santa which is both funny but genuinely heartwarming and finally the best bit as Dade, local killjoy, gets annoyed at everyone singing a popular new christmas song instead of the old standard he likes and being a dick about it before softening a bit when Harvey genuinely offers him camradere. It’s just.. good stuff that’s hard to put into words, and given putting it into words is my thing, it really speaks to just hwo good this special is. it just, makes me feel nice, and really gets the spirit of the holiday in all it’s forms. It’s gorgeously aniamted, well paced, and never stops being entertaining and that’s why it’s both my faviorite and why every year.. i’ll be coming back to little bark. And if nothing else.. it’ll keep this warm, great show alive in my heart. So with that I end this list. If you didn’t like it tha’ts fine, this is my opinon. But I wanted to share my faviorites with you and hope you’ll check them out this or next chirstmas. Until we meet again... Merry Christmas to all,and to all a good night.

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