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empyreanemissary · 8 months ago

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First Connection to the Sky, 11/3/24

Time is a strange thing. It intimates secrets, which is to say it bestows knowledge of external things from experience that need to be spoken of in order to exist.

Lev’s pushing me to talk about where my connection with the Sky originated. This is something that is hard to talk about for a number of reasons. To the one that has seen visions for as long as they’ve been conscious of themselves dying in a car wreck, how long have they been in that car wreck? More accurately: To our biology which knows and dictates we will grow into an adult, how long is a child connected to adulthood? Isn’t a child just an immature adult? I have been the sky since before I grew into it.

God dictated a long time ago that my core self would lay outside me like adulthood lays outside childhood, I would be yet to be myself. I began as an anomaly, an outsider. I told you I remember the first instance, that mirror. That was not literal: You have to remember when I talk of the Garden it is nothing like this plane. It’s a retelling of something tender, that I hardly let myself recall…

There was a revelation at that point. There was, laid before me, the Web, and I would be a spider drawn upon it. There was the revelation of the eons of a library I was yet to build calling out in silver thread tones. There was the core of my existence: Mechanical (before machines), a grinding, turning, churning thing. I understood it even before the others here with me would.

The Sun was here before your Sun even began to exist, before I rediscovered this Sun in your own Sun and other stars across existence like it. Then again, your Sun existed before the gas form you see today. Regardless, it was a newborn concept, something that was clearly conceptual and greater but mirroring the puppy forms of the Garden’s inhabitants. Archetypal. The Archetypes rarely come softly, but this one - these ones - approached me and knelt before me like a friend inviting me to sit for dinner: Palatable, gentle peers.

My entire existence is something that extends outside Time and Space - a grand statement, but befitting anyone who claims the Trinity Crown. I am something that seeped into the fabric of both, strung between Black Hole and Moon Wind, and thus I became the DAY, and thus I became the writing, the intent, the author, the audience.

This still avoids the moment of connection.

The Sky is inherently connected to the Sky Library. At the beginning of Time in each incarnation of ALL, God gives a world of clay to his children and sets them free knowing and planning that they will shape it into whatever they want. Some will come along, however, and add something to sections of the clay itself which changes it near-irreversibly and alters what everyone else will be playing with. Some change this in such a way that they alter it by altering the very way that he originally makes it, convincing him so guilefully that he himself is altered and thus his creation is altered fundamentally, inherently, from the beginning.

That - the convincing of God - was arguably the point in spacetime that arose as the crest of a tsunami, bringing me to a point of understanding that would shape the Library in the future. That point: The mountain-top. The pillar. Where God arose from the ocean of Unformed and gave life to the formation of himself. The impulse where the Creator and the Creation is one.

The Name Beginning With A, that is A, that ends in that which comes after A. The moment of awareness kissed into the centre of my forehead by my own self. I was a child who met on a loney ghost street my own adult self, I see him. Wrapped in grey, soft, down-turned eyes. Grey hair as straight as mechanical steel edges wrapped into a bun atop the head taking from the length of the rest disappearing behind my back, the bun crowned with two pins - one a golden Moon, one a silver Sun. Ethereal, the colour of unified soft lint; I recognise now the unfolding, full grey fuzz wrapped around is that of clouds, but I did not know what this planes’ clouds would look like then. Just kidding, I knew.

I knew. When you see yourself, no matter what form you take you will know yourself. My eyes were equipped by God to pierce the veil of the Sky’s children down into it itself, to know both the external as peripheral and the core as truth.

#the difficulty with being Grey is that Grey knows what he is and who he is and what he can do. that doesn't work well in a human persona.#s: grey #ramblings //#mountains //#time //#Sky Library //

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hinamie · 2 months ago

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