#s: big bang theory

[harveybwabbit92]

R/n, about the Ultra brothers: It’s sweet that you care so much about them.

Zoffy: I do. And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to them, and I wasn't at their bedside to say "I told you so".

[harveywritings92]

Cami, after König tells her his real name: Okay, Eugen, here's something people do not know about me. Before I moved out to Niagara-falls, I did a topless scene in a low-budget horror movie about a genetically altered cop who could turn into a dinosaur. Ugh, after I did it, I felt so ashamed. Thankfully, that thing never came out.

König, awkward: Oh, uh...I've seen that. 

Cami, looks at him wide eyed:............What?

König : j-Ja. "Raptor Cop". Hutch found it online the day we met you.

Cami: Oh, God.

König: And it was literally the moment you walked out the door.

{My headcanon name for König is Eugen Brändle, Cami only calls him that when they’re alone.)

[incorrecthuntingdogs]

Tecchou: Tachihara made it very clear that my allegiance should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.

Teruko: ...is it possible he actually said "bros before hoes"?

Tecchou: Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid offending the hoes.

[ap-kinda-lit]

Bulma: Look, I know Goku can be aggravating, but you have to remember he's not doing it on purpose. It's just how he is. He’s also loyal, and trustworthy and we have fun together.

Piccolo: You know you just described a dog, right?

Bulma: …he did bite me once. But, in his defense, I snuck up on him while he was eating.

[incorrectlis2]

Daniel: You’re giving me a sticker?

Sean: Not just any sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Daniel: I’m not a preschooler.

Sean: Fine, I’ll take it back then.

Daniel: I earned this. Back off.

[totally-correct-tbp]

Vance: You’re giving me a sticker?

Finney: Not just any sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Vance: I’m not a preschooler.

Finney: Fine, I’ll take it back then.

Vance: I earned this. Back off.

[caracolcondiarrea]

I love how Sheldon is canonically a SpongeBob fan.

[godsofhumanity]

Zeus: I care too much about other people's feelings. It's always been my fatal flaw. Hades: I don't think- Zeus: Not now, Hades. I'm growing as a god.

[totallycorrectresidentevil]

Leon: Is Claire always like this when she loses? Chris: Oh, yes. You should’ve been here for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2008. Claire: YOU BUMPED THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW IT!

[tychos-huzband]

GELP I FORGOT NOT EVERYONE IN KY SETVER READS PENHY ARCADE TOO

( @alaskacoolkid1 imsosorry --)

[harveybwabbit92]

Tregear: You know, there’s a foundational idea in string theory that the whole universe may be a hologram.

R/n: What do you mean?

(Tregear takes out a small device and a hologram of planet Earth appears in his palm.)

R/n, as she stares at the hologram in awe: Oh! Wow!

Tregear: Well, the holographic principle suggests that what we all experience every day in three dimensions may really… [changes view to solar system] …just be information… [changes view to the galaxy] …on a surface located at the farthest reaches of our cosmos. [spins the hologram of the galaxy] So it’s possible that our lives are really just acting out a painting on the largest canvas in the universe.

R/n, staring at Tregear dazed: Hmm.

Tregear, feeling his cheeks burn: What?

R/n: Sometimes I forget how smart you are. It's cute.

Tregear, flustered: Oh... *ahem* th-Thank-you.

[harveywritings92]

Soap: I invented a fun game we can all play. It’s called Gun or Ivy. I give you actual quotes I heard and you tell me if Ghost was talking to his gun or his girlfriend.

Ghost:...

Orphan( Aka Ivy): ...

Ghost: I don’t think I’ll like this game...

[Cut to few days later, Soap is playing said game with Laswell and Price.]

Soap: Okay, so it’s one vote Gun, one vote Ivy. Laswell, you’re the tie breaker.

Laswell: *thinking* Say the quote again.

Soap, mimicking Ghost: “I’ve never seen a job done so efficiently, Love.”

Laswell: Hm…I’m gonna say his gun.

Soap: Yes!

Ghost, walking in on that exact moment: Oh fucking hell...

[ap-kinda-lit]

Kagome: How do you feel about children?

Inuyasha: They're okay, I guess. I wouldn't throw a rock at one.

Kagome: Why would you throw a rock at a child?

Inuyasha: I just said I wouldn't.

[incorrectlis2]

[After finding Mushroom]

Sean: I think she looks like someone’s pet. Maybe we should put up posters.

Daniel: Yeah, it should have a big picture of her and the words “Is this your dog? Not anymore.”