#ryan ross one shot

[toppermostpoppermost]

@tolerateit's EDITING PROMPT OF THE MONTH: JANUARY EDITION

LIVE PERFORMANCES

PANIC AT THE DISCO I LIVE IN CHICAGO CONGRESS THEATER CHICAGO, IL I May 23 & 24, 2008

[icarusredwings]

I rewatched Deadpool 2 and took notes.

Disclaimer: He's mentally ill and does mentally ill things (GASP, who would have thought?). Also, violence. A lot of violence. It's really long. Like.. really really long.

The very first words he says is "fuck wolverine"

Then blows his own head off with a shit ton of gasoline. Wonder if he had insurance on that appartment.

He started taking worldwide cases

He also admits to knowing "8th grade spanish"

"Passion of the christ. Then me." Says the man whos marvel jesus now.

I wonder how much wade owes cab guy.

Cab guy killed bandu Lmao

"What is it?"

"My IUD"

"A bomb??" Tell me why he was lowkey excited for it to be a bomb?

I love how serious he gets talking about how scared he is to be a dad.

This empire joke traveled from the first movie too.

"Pretty sure it doesn't work that way but we can try" yes.

When making toaster strudles its almost as if he could sense them coming despite it being so silent. This kind of makes me think that Logans not the only one who just jumps up sometimes.

This man really just said "Fuck it" jumped out of a 2 story window, BOLTED after this guy as fast as he could, got hit by a car, rammed another car, and whole ass hugged this guy before jumping in front of a truck with him. I don't want to see anyone try to tell me he's one sandwitch drop away from jumping off a cliff.

Cinatography by Blind Al.

Directed by one of those guys that killed john wicks dog.

God I love Ryan Reynolds because you know it was him.

Wade stop peeing your pants in public.

Weasel "We still have bowie..." Yeah id lie to him too at this point.

"Yeah im fine"

Fucked up

Insecure

Needy and

Emotional. Kübler ross apprently.

"Buck no more speaking lines for you" and he meant that shit.

Al is so humble and sweet. Making tea and giggling. Tries to shoot him and then just hears him collapse on the floor. How many times do you think he collapses on the floor a week? Just to be drimatic?

"Sweetheart can you speak up? Its a little hard to hear you with yhat pity dick in your mouth" Oh so shes his mom. Al is his fucking mom. Hands down. And the best one.

I love how he decided to do an entire bag of cocaine before dying. There was no reason for it and honestly was a waste of cocaine until you realize that these cocaine is wades whiskey. Shots dont work for him really, probably because hes already done it so much, but its the same way how Logan chugs that bottle before wade kidnaps him. Its easier to blame it on a substance then accept those were your actions.

Ness is so cute. The poster behind her has "I love you wade wilson" scratched into it. Its nice to know that his version of heaven is literally just a cozy Saturday morning with his wife.

Colossus just walking in to find wades body parts everywhere and put him in a bag like old dirty clothes lol

"Why cant I fucking die" tone was SO serious.

The fact that theres an x men rule book and its lowkey thicker then a bible. I bet you scott and Logan made 80% of those.

"That asshole was me" oh the tears. Baby boyy.

Wait isnt cable literally scotts son.

Im never going to understand this fucking time line jesus christ

Mutant rehabilitation?? What is he a drug addict? That kid is clearly in pain dipshits.

"X men trainee" is so funny

"Please stop cheating on me"

Daniel the pedophile looking ass

Bro casually signs ryan reynolds on the wolverine cereal box and then destroys his knee caps.

"Those guys hurt you??" It was at that moment, wade went ape shit.

Wade having fun in prison is so him. But come on imagine going to prison just for standing up to an abused child. Not to mention, His face when he immediately realizes how fucked he is and that "oh shit I actually DO have cancer now and it SUCKS"

Is it just me or does Cable reminds you of forge with all his cool fix it abilities. Or is he just futurey.

He didn't say were not friends to make him upset but to draw attention to himself. Him just eye rolling when stabbed in the hand was so funny too because he was like "Ouch. God damn it. Ducking OUCH."

Hes literally pleading with russel to find someone else to peotect him or hes gonna get molested because he cant do anything. His entire power is replacing dead cells WITH new cancer cells. His entire body is dying 24/7 but never fast enough to actually kill him, always regrowing way too quickly. Cancerous is better then dead.

"Get away from me kid" yeah cause he knows hes trouble and he REALLY doesn't wanna watch this kid die.

"Who the hell tries to kill a 14 year old boy"

"Kids give us a chance to be better then we used to be"

Dopinder is so wholesome. I love him so much. No i dont care that he killed a guy. Hes the type of friend you call to take to the movies or the zoo once every year and hes stoked just to be invited.

Peter: I just thought it looked fun :D

Dopinder: FUCK

Peter is that one dad whos kids left the nest and now he needs friends and a hobby so searches for the biggest weirdos he can find.

"Grab the boy- NOT INAPPROPRIATELY >:("

i love his crayon maps/plans

Oh my god weasel im not telling you anything ever again you snitch (same dude, cable is terrifying)

After crying over the love he has for his new team (x force) Wade confirms that he spent 10 years in special forces.

I love how supportive wade is with Peter despite him just being a normal dude only for him to immediately die LMAO

He just cassually lets his impulse win in which he steals a moped.

Oh i just noticed Dominos vitiligo. I always loved vitiligo charaters. Theyre so unique and barley ever given movie roles. Like why not?? Why wouldnt you want someone so beautiful? Im pretty sure she just has make up but it would be cool if not.

Something else is that cable just starts yeeting criminals out onto the street lol

"Theres nothing I cant kill" Let me intorduce you to the man whos on a constant road to dying but can never actually get there.

Im assuming cable wants to kill russel because he unleashes a big bad guy or something.

*cassually snaps neck back into place* Oh god that hurt!

Oh I was right! It was Juggernaut :)

Wade: *gets excited about being PHYSICALLY ripped in half*

"Rub my legs mama 🥺 I got growing pains"

"Oh noo! No no no Dp not again!" We love you Dopinder. Do not ever stop caring. "This shits happened before!?" Yes weasel. Sometimes your friends get ripped in half. Get used to it.

Wade just moves her gun to the right position.

Wade talking about saving russel is so serious that it makes you forget that he has a tiny baby ass rn. I couldn't make a deal with someone woth tiny baby legs... just... no. Not to mention that those baby legs are made of cancer.

"50 years from now you're super fucking dead"

Wade standing outside of the xmen mansion with his phone and a picture of a boom box playing music for Colossus to come outside and help him save russel is something i can see happening to Logan. They have a fight and he storms off to the mansion only for wade to stand outside like that.

"Hi Wade🎀✨️" "Hi Yukio!🥹 you guys make a super cute couple 😊 where was I? 🤨"

"So you wear a helmet so your brother cant read your mind?" "Yeaaahh" average kid conversations.

"Lets fuck some shit up is my legal middle name"

Okay sir edgelord.

Apprently wade has a gluten sensitivity

What is it with wade and metal men??? My man has a type.

"Im just gonna use this brick and maximum effort" Same wade. Same.

Yaayy!! Go yukio! Eveyone loves yukio.

"Thats how we do it in mother russia" What? Shoving an electrical cable up their ass and then put them in a pool? Damn. Ok.

That "I never should have never left you in that prison" with the hug? Man hed be a decent dad I think.

"Dont be ive been trying to make this happen for awhile" okay someone supervise him 24/7. Hes on the active watch list.

Wade: *is dying* Hi Yukio :D

Yukio: Hi wade :)

"R-dog" Oh my god hes too cute.

Them carrying the racist joke all the way til the end made me cringe but that was the point.

His last words being "do you wanna build a snow man?" Is such a deadpool thing.

I was NOT expecting to cry at the end of this stupid ass movie, AGAIN

"Dont fuck colossus" VANESSA KNEW

THE FUCKING COIN

"Is there a knife in my dick?" "There's a knife in your dick."

Oh I just didn't even notice she has heterochromancia! <3 Aahh!!

PFFT DOPINDERS SECOND CONFIRMED KILL

"WERE DEFINITELY NAMINF OUR KID CHER"

"Dont scratch!" *shoots himself 8 times* "Love you! Bye."

Wolverine: ???

[bookdaddysworld]

Reader x Ryan Ross(protective)

*writing for a friend enjoy*

"Alright cut! That's lunch!" called the director.

The music in the background stopped and the lights went down as everyone stopped what they were doing to go and eat.

You walked away from your fellow performers to see your boyfriend Ryan waiting off to the side with a smile.

"Hey babe" He said.

"Hey!" You said as you greeted him with a hug.

You two walked and talked as you headed to the makeshift cafeteria that had been built on set. The music video for "I write sins not tragedies" was being filmed and you were lucky enough to not only be a dancer on the set but the girlfriend of one of the members, Ryan Ross.

"What do you wanna eat?" he asked.

"I trust your opinion."

"You sure about that?" he replied quirking his brow.

You laughed "Yes I'm sure".

"Okay, I'll be right back" he chirped as he walked away to the line.

While you waited you kicked your feet up on to a bench and put in your earbuds to listen to some music on your iPod. You weren't paying much attention so when you felt a tap on your solider you didn't expect to see someone other than Ryan. Instead it was a fellow performer who you had briefly been introduced to when filming started. You remembered his name was Tom.

"Hey Y/n" he said tapping your shoulder to get your attention.

"Oh um hey Tom, what's up?"

"Ya know just tryna find someone cool to hang out with".

"oh okay" you laughed.

You tried to go back to listening to your music but he persisted with his attempt to converse with you. Seeing as Ryan was taking forever you humored him and had a casual conversation. But you kept looking around wondering where Ryan was and Tom noticed.

"Who are you looking for" he questioned.

"Oh no one there's just so many people it's crazy."

"Oh yeah there really is but you're pretty easy to pick out"

"Oh?"

You laughed awkwardly but grew a little uncomfortable as you tried to figure out if he was trying to hit on you. You continued to carry on the light conversation but it was hard when he kept getting bolder.

"So what are you doing after this?"He asked.

"um probably hanging out with some friends" you say trying to be vague on purpose.

"Anything set or.."

"um kinda"

"Well maybe you should ditch your friends and come hang out with me" he said getting closer to you on the bench.

"I have a boyfriend you know"

"I don't see him" he said putting his hand on your knee.

Okay so he was a creep, great. You went to push him away and tell him to get lost when somebody from behind pulled him away. It was Ryan.

"Excuse me why are you touching my girlfriend?" Ryan said with a hard stare.

Tom eyes practically bugged out of his head as he stuttered out a response that required one braincell.

"Oh this is you're girlfriend?! I'm sorry I had no id-"

"No" Ryan cut him off "She told you she did and you still tried to come on to her.

Tom stumbled as he got off the bench I was sitting on. Attempting and failing to look cool as he bullshitted a response to my very angry boyfriend.

"listen dude you gotta understand man to man, you gotta shoot your shot when you can."

What a piece of work.

"Well dude you gotta understand that when someone tells you they have a boyfriend that you need to fuck off."

"why so serious it's not like she a 10 out 10 why are you so angry."

"The fuck did you just say." Ryan said quietly.

Ryan looked like he was about to lose his shit, which as hot as he looked was not what needed to happen right now. So you tried to interject.

"Alright that's enough, Tom you need to leave you're making a fool out of yourself"

People had started to notice the scene that was unfolding and you could see a security guard a ways away starting to notice the situation. Tom failing to hide his embarrassment turned on you.

"You need to learn when to shut up bitch!" Tom pushed you away and you hit the ground.

Before you knew it Tom was on the ground too and Ryan was seemingly hell bent on beating his face in.

You wanted to tell him to stop but was torn between that and letting that asshole get what he deserved.

Before you could make up your mine the security guard you had seen was tearing a slightly disheveled Ryan off of a bloodied Tom.

Ryan was breathing heavily and his hair was ruffled. He had a slight bloody nose and his knuckles were bruised but was otherwise unharmed.

The same could not be said for Tom

I looked at the security guard and saw a name tag that said "Mike".

He looked at me and asked "I saw what happened are you okay?"

I could only nod because my attention was on Ryan who was now in front of me helping off the ground.

"Are you okay" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine, you're bleeding"

"I'm fine and you're lying your hands are all scraped up"

"I honestly think that's the least of my worries right now"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes

" Come on let's get you cleaned up" I said grabbing his hand and leading him away from the screaming shitbag flopping around on the ground as Mike tried to restrain him.

I managed to find a first aid kit and lead him to a family restroom. I washed my hands off while Ryan waited patiently. He went and sat on the counter while I opened the kit and stood between his legs to begin cleaning and wrapping up his hands.

"You know" he said in a quiet tone "I should be cleaning your hands".

I scoffed "I washed them I'm fine, you are the one who needs first-aid".

"Well still you shouldn't have to do thi-"

"Oh my god", I stopped cleaning to look at him in the eye, "enough just let me help you".

"Okay" he said dropping the subject as I finished wrapping his hands and went to wipe the blood off his face.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that asshole" he said breaking the silence again.

"You have nothing to be sorry about". I paused then laughed before saying "plus you did one hell of a job at getting him to leave me alone".

We both laughed as I finished wiping his face and put down the wipe. When we stopped we just stared at each other in a silence that was steadily filling the room with tension.

He really did look good. His hair was still ruffled and he was so pretty you couldn't stand it.

"You know I'll always try my best to be there for you right?" he said grabbing my waist and pulling me closer to him.

I smiled as my stomach filled with butterflies "yeah".

He looked at my lips then back at my eyes then smiled.

"Good" he said leaning in a closing the gap between our lips.

A warmth starting at my lips radiated throughout my body as our lips slowly moved to together. I slowly brought my hands up his back and tangled them in his hair as he deepened the kiss, thoroughly taking my breath away. My mind became hazy as he became more passionate pulling me flush against him and running his hand up and down my body. I had forgotten where I was and was well on my way to forgetting who I was when there was a knock on the door.

I pulled away quickly, breathing heavily, as I said "occupied" while signaling to Ryan to be quiet.

He just looked amused. Well actually he looked far more than amused, he looked hot as hell with his hair messy and lips swollen, but I was too distracted by whoever was currently banging on the door.

After I was sure they walked away I turned back to Ryan.

"We should probably go."

"Already?" he said with a sad and stupid pout that made me laugh.

"Yea but" I said pulling him close to me again by the collar of his shirt "we can finish this later".

He smiled and looked me up and down

"Can't wait."

The End

*Did y'all get the five nights at freddies reference with mike the security guard or are you lame. Anyways y'all like it?*

[scribble-dribble-writes]

please make a masterlist I’m begging 🙏

Haha this is my first attempt at making a masterlist, so hope this helps!

I've attached the link to my A03 because everything is consolidated there.

Masterlist

Everything I write is fluff, angst or sensual romance. No smut.

Obiwan

Everything Obiwan - a collection on all the one shots I've written for him.

Conquered (on Hiatus) - a fantasy au with Obiwan as a Knight, Darth Maul as a warlord and the reader a Queen of a kingdom while being the last of her kind as a magical entity.

It's more Darth Maul x Reader but it wasn't getting any traction, so still debating if I should continue it or not.

Namor

Loveless (Completed) - a Namor x Shuri fic that picks off from where Wakanda Forever finishes. It also includes Attuma x Okoye and Everett Ross x Namora

The merman, the soldier and me - A one shot where reader is convinced she's in love with the winter soldier but that is only until she meets namor

Midnight Tides - just a late night cuddle by the beach wit Namor

Delirious - Namor x reader one shot request

Miguel O'hara

Miguel O'hara brain rot - A collection of one shots and requests I written for him so far.

General Hux

To save a mockingbird (on hiatus) - I began writing this story for Hux as a way to fix the sequels but then lost interest somewhere in the middle. I want to get back to it but haven't found time to finish it 😔

Ryan Ken

Plastic Hearts (completed) - a continuation for Ryan's Ken from where the movie leaves him. It's about chasing after dreams and becoming a self made person. Really had a lot of fun writing this one!

Buggy

The Sea Circus Captain (On going) - A buggy x mermaid female reader fic. You and him have a shared past but when you are taken away to be revealed as a lost mermaid princess to an island you never knew about, everything changes. Uses themes of second chance romance, longing, soulmates.

[prettyseaveins]

Lover Boy, Lover Girl - R.R.

Ryan Ross x female!reader one shot

SFW / No warnings 

word count: 748

Summary: a small snippet into a random morning with Ryan Ross

“Ryan, did you hear what the fuck is going on with the government?” you asked, your body leaning against an arm of their shared couch as you held a cup of coffee. A look of disbelief was on your face as your boyfriend sat down beside you, letting his eyes fall on the screen you stared at. “This literally means that the government is gonna start controlling our brains or some shit because they want to block the media we consume—which is complete and utter bullshit! What the fuck? Does this mean I am no longer going to be able to sing about socialism and shit?”

“I think you’ll be able to sing about your idealistic world of anti-capitalism and love for me no matter what the government says,” he smiled comfortingly at you and let a hand rub your thigh soothingly. “This probably won’t even pass. Do you even hear how dumb they sound? She asked him if some dumb meme caused kids to become communists. I think we’ll be fine.”

“I guess you’re right, but also, who said I sang about loving you? For all you know, I could be singing about my love for Pedro Pascal or another celebrity crush that is ranking high on the list. Who knows, it could even be one of your friends from a different band. What was that bassist that took over Jon’s spot? Austin, was it? Or maybe his name was Antonio?” You put a finger up to your chin, tapping it as you faked your pondering. “Oh, I remember! Dallon is his name! Isn’t he a part of some big and famous band now? Supposedly even better than that band you used to be in?” Before you could utter another word, Ryan grabbed the coffee out of your hands and pushed his free hand into your side, starting to tickle you.

“You better plead for mercy,” he said, continuing to tickle you as you giggled and thrashed around. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! You were right! All my songs are about you and not some stupidly gorgeous hunk!” Another fit of giggles and laughter left your lips as he continued to harass your side with wiggling fingers. “I said you were right! Please, have mercy on my soul!” After a couple more seconds of tickling, Ryan stopped and let you be free of the punishment.

“Thank you for admitting I was right,” he took a quick sip out of your mug, grimacing at the taste. “You put way too much creamer in here.”

“Yeah, well it wasn’t for you, it was for me,” you sat up and grabbed the mug from him before taking a sip of your own coffee. “I could make you a cup if you want. One that has less sugar for your poor old soul.”

“You can’t be mean to me anymore. I have fingers of steel that could tickle you for eons to come,” he wiggled his fingers to try and prove just how serious he was, but it only resulted in a cringe from you.

“Okay, lover boy. I’m gonna make you a cup of coffee so I can hopefully get that image out of my head,” you stood up and started walking to the kitchen, setting down your own mug to start making Ryan’s. “And can you please change the channel? I would love to stop thinking about how the world is coming to an end for one second.”

“As you wish,” he picked up the remote and flicked it to a different channel, letting a random episode of Friends play as you made him coffee. “Make sure to use the mushroom house mug.”

“You mean the only mug you ever use? Technically, it isn’t even your mug, I’m the one that bought it,” you countered, finishing making his coffee before walking back to the living room and passing the mug to him. “I made sure to keep it extra disgusting.”

“Just because I like my coffee actually tasting like coffee doesn’t mean it’s disgusting. Also, I will forever be denying the fact that this was ever your mug. They are forever mine,” you rolled your eyes at his statement and grabbed your own mug, it coincidentally originally owned by your boyfriend, before taking your own sip.

“Whatever you say, nerd,” you giggled and let yourself sink next to Ryan, resting your head on his shoulder.

“I love you too, lover girl,” he said softly, peacefully watching the television with you.

~

A/N: I just wanted to create more ryan ross content so i wrote this lol. i’m gonna write more so drop suggestions if u want to ! thank you :)

[lola-babylon]

Ryan didn't quit social media because of the "Panic stalker"

There's a weird narrative in certain sections of fandom that after going through the horrible experience of being cat fished through text message by a stalker impersonating Brendon in 2013, Ryan Ross retreated like a wounded bird from all social media, never to be seen online again.

If you've found this post through the Ryan Ross tags, we'll assume you're familiar with the story of the Panic! stalker; if not, the best write up is this one from Reddit, I don't want to give them anymore publicity.

Being cat fished is horrible experience; to have it happen publicly in the guise of someone who was once a close friend must have been a ghastly experience. But however Ryan dealt with it, it wasn't by suddenly abandoning all public life, or at least online public life, in 2013. He kept posting casual shots on insta for years. All of these are photos Ryan chose to share publicly on his official instagram account, thisistherealryanross, so posting these may be a breach of IP rights but not a breach of privacy. You can see the dates they were posted on the lower right corner of the images, or go to his instagram account and check for yourself.

2014

2015

2016

2017

2018

2019

And I just wanted to add a link to this video of Dottie, because she's just so darn cute. (There's a tonne of cute Dottie posts, but the lady has her own Tumblr so I'll leave it at that).

Ryan does seem to have stopped posting any personal or social pics in 2020, but that was such a batshit crazy year who knows what any of us were doing? If he decided to step back from social media, if that was a decision that worked for him then and still does now, cool. (Sure we'd like to see a few more pics of Dottie and Elwood, but if not, we're not owed).

Painting Ryan Ross as a tragic recluse haunted from public life and social media after a catfishing incident is demeaning to Ryan for the same reason as the misleading narrative that his legacy was stolen by Brendon Urie, leaving Ryan broke and broken; telling it like that robs the man of his agency, and I'm sure if he knew he'd be exasperated at being turned into the Syd Barrett of emo.

[magnoliacharmed]

It Takes Two To Tango

(not my gif!)

18+, Billy Gunn x Fem!Reader one shot

[Also available on Archive of Our Own!]

Word count: 2,592

Tags: Oral (female receiving), unprotected sex, swallowing, trying to be quiet, secret relationship

Additional characters: Ken Shamrock, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Summary:

Your real life relationship with Billy Gunn begins to pick up steam on TV. Your kayfabe boyfriend, Ken Shamrock, doesn’t like what he sees.

“JR, you see the way Gunn looks at me when I enter the ring! Always trying to peek under my skirt. I’m not having it any more.”

“That bastard really shouldn’t be treating a young lady like you in that way.”

“Well with the way she dresses, what do you expect?! I wouldn’t be able to contain myself either!”

“You’re such an old pervert, King.” Your voice crackled over the mic.

You readjusted the headphones squeezing your ears. This was your first time on commentary and it was a lot more fun than you expected. A hell of a lot more fun than interviewing backstage. Even with Vince yelling  in your ear the whole time, the banter between you, JR, and Jerry made it all worth it. It was also nice to get a break from standing around in your heels. You watched Billy enter the ring doing his spiel. It never got old and the crowd seemed to agree.

“… then I’ve got two words for ya!”

“SUCK IT!”

Billy thrusted, then pointed right at you.

“Can you abide by this?!” You turned your head to JR, your eyebrows scrunched up in overplayed annoyance while your voice raised a pitch. The camera caught JR shaking his head and Jerry laughing like a hyena.

Billy was up against Ken Shamrock. After dealing with Val Venis trying to corrupt his sister Ryan, Ken had gotten himself involved in a love triangle with you and Billy. So far he’d won in the ring, but he hadn’t been able  to capture your affections outside of it. Despite his gentlemanly behavior defending you against Billy’s lewd presence, the blond still edged him out. He was never exceptionally rude, just flirtatious in the way that confident people can be. It (unfortunately) was still working on you even though you knew he was no good.

Just as Billy geared up to do his signature Fame-asser, Ken managed to get out of the way. He got Billy with a clothesline and was close to getting him in position for an ankle lock, but Billy rolled out of the ring in a graceful flash. His eyes immediately focused on you, his stride long and slightly wounded as he made his way over. The mics on the table picked up his words.

“Stop distracting me over here before I have to teach you a lesson.”

“Oh, please. Maybe become a better wrestler and you won’t have such an issue with distractions.”

Jerry’s high pitched voice let out an “Oh! OH!” Vince was close to blowing out your eardrums on the other end of the headphones.

“SHUT UP, YOU’RE ONLY OUT THERE TO LOOK CUTE.”

Billy huffed, close to being out of breath. You were supposed to be on Shamrock’s side. He was the good guy. He was the one who treated you with some respect. But that was so boring. Poor Ken.

Billy walked away, pointing at you again and gesturing towards his crotch. He re-entered the ring to struggle with Shamrock for a few minutes before finally being subjected to the ankle lock. Billy tried his hardest, but ultimately tapped out.

It was hard to hear over the cheers.

“How’re you gonna reward your boyfriend?!” Jerry asked, his voice keeping that hysteric note to it. You wonder where he got the energy from.

“Don’t worry about what I’ll do to him!”

You took the headset off in a rush and scrambled from behind the announcers table. You were almost in the ring, crouching down to get between the ropes, when Billy grabbed you from outside of it. He pressed his heaving chest to yours and began to whisper in your ear.

“I know you want me. You gonna let me make you feel good later?”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at his words even though they made heat pool down below. Wriggling out his tight hold took some effort. With a quick flicker of your eyes up and down his well toned body, something you were sure you’d catch some heat for, you turned away to run to congratulate Ken. He looked at you with a tired sort of skepticism as you planted kisses across his face that were more subdued than the crowd expected.

----------

Backstage, you thought about the night so far. Even though Vince treated you like a puppy that piddled on the nice rug, you were sure that this wouldn’t ruin your push. He didn’t immediately leave gorilla to fire you after it was all said and done. The love triangle was getting good pops. Ken looked sympathetic from losing his sister and girlfriend in quick succession. Billy was establishing himself as a worthy competitor. You were getting the chance to show off your personality, something you hoped to pivot into more in-ring action. Everyone won!

Well, everyone except Ken.

His steps were heavy as he approached you. It took a second to register that he was even there, your head so up in the clouds that your vision blurred into a watercolor painting.

“What the hell was that with you and Billy?”

“What was what?”

Ken was a lot more upset than you thought. This was nothing but an angle! You two had tried to go on a few dates, sure. There was no spark between you two. At least on your end. He was handsome and he was sorta funny…? In the end, he just didn’t do it for you. Whatever it was, that special X factor, Shamrock didn’t have it. Billy did.

“You and Billy at the end of the damn match. Are you two fucking?”

You weren’t going to let his sour mood ruin your high. He should’ve been happy the match went so well. Plus, he knew the deal— you were only dating on screen, and that was barely. A few decent dates don’t make a relationship.

“Is that really any of your business?”

“Are you?”

“You’re so nosy, Ken. No, Billy and I aren’t fucking since you want to know so badly. And I’ll say it one more time just so you feel reassured—“ Your voice rose.

“—I AM NOT FUCKING BILLY GUNN. You know I’m also not fucking? You. So don’t worry about what or who I’m doing in my free time, alright?”

“Yeah, alright. You just watch out and don’t get hurt.” Ken’s face was stony as he turned to walk away from you. You didn’t know he cared that much about you. That clouded up your thoughts again. You started to wallow in confusion when Billy rounded a corner. He had a smug smile painting his face walking up to you.

“Heard we weren’t fucking. You don’t know how sad that makes me.”

“Geez, I said that so loud you heard me?”

“Well I only paid attention ‘cause I misheard and thought you said that we would be.”

“Yeah, you definitely misheard.” He was pulling you right into his little flirtatious back and forth.

“That’s too bad. I’ve got a few things I wanna do to you that I wasn't allowed to say on TV.”

“Mmhmm, I sure bet you do.” Your voice was a whisper.

Gunn was undeniably sexy, an even tan contrasting with his blond hair. His  long legs looked powerful, like he really could fuck you as hard he did his taunt. His height wasn’t intimidating or foreboding. There was something in the way you had to look up at him, a spark that turned you on beyond belief.

“You know,” Billy popped his gum. “I heard Vince is gonna do a poll in the next issue of the magazine. ‘Who’ll be the next hot couple in the WWF?’ You think he’ll put you and Ken or you and me?”

A playful smile spread on his face. You lightly slapped him on the chest, then made a frown at hearing Ken’s name. He was the last thing you wanted on your mind.

“Vince probably isn’t too happy with me right now.”

“Was he screaming at you?”

“Absolutely.”

“I could hear it even all the way from where I was. You’ll be fine. He gives all the pretty ones a pass.”

“I see you’re using that famous charm of yours on me.”

“Yeah, is it working?”

You laughed and rose up to place a long kiss on his cheek. It was a kiss that the audience sure would’ve liked to see you give Ken. You bristled as the thought slid through your mind, but it was dashed away by Billy’s hand slowly sliding down to palm at your ass. His favorite way to tease you out on the mat was by doing anything he could to take a nice look at it. There were many times when he got hard just thinking about bending you over.

“Why don’t you let me tell you what was on my mind earlier?”

Billy got dangerously close to reaching under your skirt, his fingers caressing your skin with more gentleness than you expected. It made your head swim with dirty thoughts and lit a fire within.

----------

You bit down so hard your lip it started to bleed a bit. You had to keep your mouth shut! With the attention Billy was paying to your clit, his tongue swirling around it at an unhurried pace, it was hard to keep quiet. A buzzing feeling coursed through your body that made your nerves clench up in ecstasy. Billy’s eyes stayed glued on your tortured expression above him, the twisting of your features making his cock twitch. Little moans escaped you with every lick of his tongue.

“You’ve gotta be quieter if you want me to keep going.” He stopped, noisily releasing suction from your clit.

“Are you serious? Don’t stop, someone might catch us if we take too long.”

“They will catch us if you don’t try to keep your voice down.”

“I’ll be quieter,” Your voice was filled with grit.

You didn’t even finish the short sentence as Billy returned to eating you out. It took your all not to make a sound, especially when he grabbed your hips to pull you closer into him. You collapsed onto your elbows and threw your head back, feeling like you were ready to explode. It was hard to stay silent when he was giving you his all. Gunn kept his promise when he told you he’d make you feel good.

The heel of your shoe kicked against his back. It was the only way you could express how close you were to your orgasm. You could’ve sworn Billy smiled as he stopped again.

“You gonna come for me?”

You shook your head yes frantically.

“Tell me.”

The look you gave him could only be described as pointed.

“I’m gonna come for you, Billy.” You were close to losing your composure. You didn’t want to whisper, you wanted to scream.

Seconds later he was back and taking you over the edge. You completely collapsed on the desk below you, your legs shaking then going limp as Billy kept licking. He finally stopped but not before leaving a kiss on your oversensitive spot.

With one swoop he picked you up, your legs wrapping against him with no second thought. He carried you with ease and pressed your back against the office door. You watched as his lips moved in to kiss your neck, the feeling of his breath against your skin shooting through you like lightning. It was almost overwhelming how great his body felt against yours. As if it was meant for you to be pressed that close together.

“Shhh,” Billy hushed you as he slowly pushed inside you. His preparation wasn’t enough for you to mentally prepare yourself. A loud moan filled the room, spurring him on to thrust fast and deep into you. How he could do this while holding you up was beyond you. Your assumption about his legs was happily proven right as he maintained a good, hard rhythm.

Gunn’s hand quickly reached up to pull down the neck of your dress, your breasts suddenly exposed to the cold air of the room. The chill brought you back down from the stars. Billy tore his gaze away from your face to stare at the bounce of your tits, the mesmerized expression on his face giving you a boost of confidence.

“Fuck, you look so good.”

You buried your head in his shoulder and moaned again, deep and primal. For purely selfish reasons, he didn’t want you moaning. Of course didn’t want you to get in trouble… but he also knew he’d come too fast if he heard your voice making the noises he so loved to hear. It was too late. You were past the point of no return and didn’t care who heard you.

His tongue found itself back around yours. The sloppy kiss pushed you to the next level. His urgency was so hot, it was like he just couldn’t contain himself around you. You could always count on Billy to make you feel wanted.

“Gonna... oh my God,” You breathed right into his ear. As soon as you said it, every muscle in your body compressed. No one else was ever going to make  you come harder than he did, a fact he would have loved to lord over you if he knew it. Just when you were beginning to remember where you were, Billy pulled out of you and pushed you on to your knees.

“Where?” Gunn stroked himself with a tight grip, his words strained. His cock was still shiny from your wetness. It was hypnotizing.

You opened wide to take Billy down your throat with perfect timing. He released hot, your mouth getting coated while you sucked him down. Now it was your turn to look up at him, his lips parted in awe. He caressed your cheek with the same gentleness from earlier. When he began to soften, you took his cock out of his mouth to get a good look at it. It was beautiful, one thin vein running down the long length of it. The way you gazed at it made his heart thump loudly in his chest.

Your brain struggled to form words as he helped you up. His hand held yours as if he was escorting you to a debutante ball instead of picking you up after he came in your mouth. It did feel equally as magical.

“Now imagine how good I am when I have a bed.” Somehow he snuck a new piece of gum in his mouth when you weren’t looking.

“That’s an invitation, I assume.”

“Yeah, for tonight actually.”

The two of you put your clothes back on in a rush. It wasn’t a secret that you two were fucking. If it was, it was poorly guarded. You just didn’t want to deal with Ken actually catching you with that post-sex disheveled look. The two of you at least needed to be cordial to make it all believable on television. There was a little part of you that hoped Vince really would couple you and Billy on the magazine poll. Maybe you two would win and get paired together.

Stepping out of the office, you and Billy looked around. No one walking by, no one hanging out. Perfect.

“Don’t think about me too much before tonight. Save the stamina.” It was hard to play it cool when you knew that you’d be replaying everything he did to you for the next few hours.

Billy’s laugh echoed down the hall while he walked away from you.

[cellythefloshie]

ＩＭＡＧＩＮＥ: Being Jon Cooper's Daughter and Dating Sidney Crosby Celly’s 300 Follower Appreciation

NOTE: mentions of the pandemic/lockdowns.

when you have been invited to join your father at the 2019 NHL Awards in Vegas you had merely been excited to experience the city with the greatest nightlife in America

but it also left you nervous

you hadn’t attended an event of such scale before

there were players from all over the league who were nominated

all of the NHL’s elite to be honoured

and it left you surrounded by stars

as you walked the red carpet with your father you couldn’t help but feel a little star-struck when you caught sight of Ryan O'Reilly with the Stanley Cup

and you couldn’t help but be a little tongue-tied when you found yourself in an awkward conversation with generational talent Conner McDavid and his girlfriend as you went looking for a drink

but the overwhelming feeling was but at ease when you found familiar faces

Nikita Kucherov, Andrei Vasilevskiy and Victor Hedman had all been nominated along with your father for awards that year

seeing them all brought you instant relief

the team was like a second family to you 

having them all there together put you at ease 

making you a little too comfortable

it left you cheering a little too loud for Andrei as he took the stage to accept the Vezina Trophy

and louder again when Nikita accepted the Hart trophy to add to his already impressively earned Ted Lindsey and Art Ross Awards

you were standing right up out of your seat

your hands sore from the applause when you felt a pair of eyes on you

scanning the room casually from where you stood your eyes were quick to find Sidney Crosby who was all too shameless about his stare

he wore a coy smile

one that only grew as he realized you had spotted him

not once did he look away until the crowd had begun to calm and his attention returned to the stage

settling back into your seat he remained on your mind the rest of the night

and you could feel his eyes on you on occasion

you didn’t need to look his way to know it was him that was staring

you didn’t know why he would be staring

but the fact that he was left your mind to wander with curiosity

Sidney was older, very handsome, and undoubtedly the greatest player of his generation

and that night he only had eyes for you

or at the very least it seemed that way 

and it became all too clear at the after party

you should have been disappointed that your father had lost the Jakc Adams to Bary Trotz

but you had your father’s sportsmanship

you would always respect those who were victorious even when it meant taking a loss

and so you mingled at the after-party offering your congratulations to those who had taken a trophy or two home that night

you enjoyed a drink or two

and the finger food that was served

it was when you were out mingling

and your father was distracted by an enthralling conversation with Ben Bishop that Sidney approached you

he was nothing but respectable

not even touching you when the media came by taking some candid shots of you both in casual conversation before asking for a photo together

it was just when you thought you had gotten ahead of yourself in thinking that Sidney Crosby might have - at the very least - been interested in you

because the conversation was much too respectable and intelligent to be fueled by attraction

that he surprised you by asking to get away from the party

you were taken back by how forward he was about it

but you didn’t decline

it only took a moment for you to make an excuse 

you slipped away for only a moment to feed the excuse to your father who gave you a quick hug and a kiss on your temple

then you snuck out of the party with the Pittsburgh Penguins Captain

he was nothing but a gentleman as you took to the city together

finding a place to eat a real meal together 

and enjoying some of the nightlife before ending up back in his hotel room

you were sure it was going to be a one-night stand

because you didn’t leave him your number when you snuck out of his room at an ungodly hour and back to your own

and you didn’t hear from him again for weeks

not that you had given him many ways to reach you 

but somehow he had managed to get ahold of your phone number

you didn’t believe it was him at first

he was very much out of your league

older, and could get any woman he wanted with ease

plus, it was just a number on the screen after all

but when he texted you the ungodly things he had done to you in that Vegas hotel room you knew it was him

and not only was it him, but he also wanted to see you again

when you had hooked up with him you didn’t even think it was a possibility 

and yet you were making plans to see him again during the summer

A secret meet-up or two during trips that you claimed were girl’s trips were spent on private all-inclusive resorts where Sidney got to know you better than anyone

but then the hockey season came

his time was focused on his team in Pittsburgh while you were in Tampa

and you were ready to accept that it was just a crazy summer romance that only the two of you knew about

but by some chance, your paths crossed in New Jersey

you were on a work trip

and he was set to play the Devils

you convinced your colleagues to go to the game

and by the end of the night, you were in his bed

and suddenly the season was halted

put on pause as a pandemic consumed the world

and you were stuck in Jersey

flight cancellations left you grounded, unable to return to Florida without having to get a rental car and make the drive

before you could make the arrangements to get the car your company had already agreed to work from home

and you were suddenly not needed in Tampa beyond your parents insisting that you return home

but instead, you were faced with another option you hadn’t even considered could be a possibility

Sidney offered his home in Pittsburgh to you

it was a grand home, with only him to occupy and with no one knowing how long it would all last he wasn’t going into it without company

and you couldn’t stay no

at first, you had to make excuses

telling your mother and father that you were still with your coworker in a place you were able to rent in Newerk

but in reality, you were in Crosby’s home playing house

you worked from his office while he worked out in the gym

the two of you cooked your meals together 

and you kept yourself with busy with Netflix and your antics in the bedroom

but soon the secrecy was becoming too much

and your relationship with Sidney was becoming more than just killing time when he let the first “i think I’ve fallen in love with you slip”

you knew you had to tell your dad but you were worried about just how he was going to take it

telling him over a zoom call just didn’t seem right

yet that’s how it was done

and your dad was furious

not solely at the fact that you had been “dating” a hockey player

because he had always warned you to stay away from dating them

but that you had kept it a secret from him

and while your relationship with Sidney was long-lasting

your father still was never very approving of him

And neither was the team

fast forward to March 3, 2022

you returned home to Tampa to watch the Pittsburgh vs Tampa game

and you had an announcement to make over dinner before the game

Sidney had proposed

your parents couldn’t have been happier

but the Tampa Players were less than enthused

maybe it was the timing of it all

but they were all very protective of you

you were like a little sister to them and you deserved the world

they didn’t doubt that Sidney was going to be able to give that to you

but that didn’t mean they weren’t going to give him a hard time as you would forever have a roster of 22 - and alumni of big and little brothers to look out for you

when it came to game time Tampa found itself in familiar turmoils 

they went down 2-0 early in the first

and by the end of the second period, things were heated

a scrum broke out in front of the net with Cirelli going after Sidney only to face Rust instead

no one got to mess with the Captain

and when penalties were handed out and the Bolts took an extra penalty the overprotective nature of your father mixed with his passion for the game and there was no controlling him 

he was yelling so loud that the whole arena could hear it, and the officials weren’t having it

and your father was ejected from the game before it could reach its halfway point

leaving your seat you moved through the halls of Amalie and found your father alone in the locker room

he was still pretty red in the face but calmer now

you couldn’t help but feel a little responsible for his outburst as you moved to sit on the bench beside him and wrapped him in your arms

he welcomed your embrace

his cheek coming to rest against your hair

and it was there holding you that he apologized

for the outburst and for how he has been throughout your relationship with Sidney

always supportive but not always approving

because you were his daughter 

he was always going to be skeptical of a man’s intentions with you

and the engagement left him relieved but saddened

you weren’t his baby girl anymore

you were all grown up

and he couldn’t be more excited to walk you down the aisle

[ciaraloveswriting]

- requests & guidelines

people i'll write for

••••

- ryan ross

- noodle (gorillaz)

- 2d (gorillaz)

- damon albarn

- graham coxon

- alex james

- gerard way

- spiderman (any variation, i do love tasm! tho so

and probably more; so feel free to request anyone else. these are just the people who come to mind immediately.

••••

feel free to request one shots or full ass story ideas

i will do smut at request, but i wont do it if the person its about is against it. (if i know, so be the bigger person 😭)

••••

[fuck-showers-in-general]

d. do you want to tell us about the history of panic at the disco. i feel like you want to do that.

YES I DO (small unreality cw for a few of the jokes i make in this)

so back in like 2005. this emo boy from suburban nevada named ryan ross and his childhood friend slash the only drummer he knew (spencer smith) decided to start a band together called pet salamander. they also got this other guy named brent wilson to play keyboard but brent is a bitch and they kicked him out after the first album so this is the first and last time you will hear me mention him. ryan was singing, playing guitar, and writing music, which was a lot of work for a depressed teenager in his first band ever, so they ended up trying to find someone else to either play guitar or sing, and end up putting out an ad in some newspaper or something. up turns this kid named brendon urie! he can do both. they end up just having him sing though, because ryan still wants to play guitar. it was also some time around this that they realized pet salamander was a stupid ass band name, so they changed it to panic! at the disco. and thus the most band of all time was born.

ryan, pretty much by himself, writes an album called a fever you can't sweat out, which takes heavy inspiration from chuck palahnuik (im totally spelling his name wrong but idc), moulin rouge, and ryan's own childhood living just outside las vegas. it toes the line between pop punk and cabaret goth, or more accurately pirouettes along the tightrope between them. it is a picturesque score of scandals, sins (not tragedies), classic literature, dark circus couture, and a troubled childhood. it still genuinely astounds me that this album was made by a bunch of teenagers. it is an absolute fucking masterpiece. panic! records a few demos, and then gets the bright idea that "hey, ryan's a huge fan of fall out boy, right? that pop punk band from chicago that's really popular right now? like, he's super obsessed with pete wentz's writing. and pete is really active on social media. what if we shot him a few demos?"

and what does peter lewis kingston wentz the motherfucking third, known lacker of common sense, do?

he makes an entire fucking record label just to sign panic!.

ma'am what.

pete decides to start decaydance records, a sublabel of fueled by ramen, and signs a bunch of his friends' bands, along with these random kids from nevada, because he thinks they have potential or whatever. panic! fully records afycso, and releases it on september 27th, 2005. it becomes a smash hit near immediately, and i write sins not tragedies remains to this day a staple of 2000's emo hits. and what, logically, do they do after this? well, first, they go on the nothing rhymes with circus tour, which i would have absolutely killed to get tickets to had i been, like, alive at the time. but after that they, of course, get this guy named jon walker to join the band as a bassist, take the exclamation point out of their name and retreat into the mountains to hotbox a cabin and write a classic rock album. of course. perfectly logical next move. ...look, they swore to shake it up and we swore to listen. this is on us.

some time in mid to late 2006, panic emerges from the mountains with an album called cricket and clover. after recording demos for pretty much the whole album, they realize, oh, we totally cannot release this. so they rework it into an album called pretty. odd., which is an absolute masterpiece. i don't understand why people don't like it. it's so fucking good. if pretty. odd. has 10000 fans i am one of them if pretty. odd. has 10 fans i am one of them if pretty. odd. has 1 fan it is me if pretty. odd. has no fans i am dead. i don't have as much eloquent stuff to say about p.o. as i do with afycso. i just really like it.

[bad wilbur soot impression] it was at this point that brendon decided to become a problem.

so ryan was struggling with a lot of mental health issues right? you would expect your bandmates, especially the one you trusted to sing the lyrics you expressed and processed a lot of those mental health issues with, to not make fun of you for that, right? you would think? brendon did not think. ever. that man has not had a thought in his life and i mean that as an insult. things get so bad eventually that panic splits in half, with ryan and jon splitting off to form a band called the young veins that released one album in 2010 and then broke up, and spencer and brendon being left with the record deal but being explicitly told by ryan to not use the name panic at the disco. which, technically, they didn't. they went back to panic! at the disco. but still. dick move, man.

panic! is still touring pretty. odd. at this point (late 2009), so they need some touring musicians, because they no longer have a bassist or a guitarist. so they hire. i believe ian crawford? but don't quote me on that. as a guitarist, and, more importantly, dallon weekes as a bassist. dallon becomes a full member of the band soon after, because they flat out don't have a bassist anymore, nor a songwriter, but dallon just so happens to have written music for a (very good) band called the brobecks since before panic! at the disco was even a twinkle in poor ryan's eye. justice for ryan ross. but dallon writes an album called vices & virtues, featuring a couple of songs (mostly bonus tracks) from our good friend pwentz, a song brendon wrote about his wife (the worst song on the album honestly), and like half a song left over that ryan wrote when he was still in panic!. which makes vices & virtues the only panic! album that has had every official panic! songwriter on it. four of them. what is wrong with this band. v&v is a fucking amazing album though. i love it so much.

after that, dallon gets to work on panic!'s fourth album, too weird to live, too rare to die!. his original draft is a fucking masterpiece, but unfortunately most of it never sees the light of day (as in, basically nothing minus all the boys, a demo of far too young to die, and the original lyrics to vegas lights) because brendon comes in and ruins the whole thing and turns it into a marketable alt pop album. as he does. justice for dallon weekes. justice for anyone who has ever interacted with brendon ever actually. twtltrtd is still an amazing album, don't get me wrong. just not as good as it would have been without brendon's meddling. i may be a little bitter.

dallon, inevitably, leaves the band, because not only has brendon been fucking up his writing, he's been harassing him, harassing his wife, and on top of it all, paying him so little he had to get a second job to support his family. spencer also leaves, for unclear reasons. so brendon's got three albums left on a record deal for a band that no longer exists. what does he decide to do? pretend the band still exists and is more than just him, of course. this band and its associates have a history of logical decision making and everything they have ever done was a good idea. of course. he releases an album called death of a bachelor in 2016, which was actually pretty good. you will come to see this is a fluke.

two years later, in 2018, brendon! at the disco releases their sixth album, pray for the wicked, which had like four good songs on it total. however, something much more important happened that year. see, something had been happening in the shadows of salt lake city. someone had been plotting. playing shows. a band that didn't exist had been popping up around, with a disturbingly long name. were they here from the past? were they, perhaps, back from the future? we'll never know. all we know is that the band consisted of dallon weekes, a man* who definitely had no connection to panic! at the disco, and ryan seaman, a man who definitely had no connection to falling in reverse. both of whom had dubious connections to the brobecks. and in 2018, they released their first single, a song called modern day cain.

THATS RIGHT THIS POST IS ABOUT I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME NOW BBY

iDKHOW ended up also releasing their first EP in 2018, called 1981 extended play. it is an absolute masterpiece. i did not care that it was 6 songs, i listened to those 6 songs on loop for months on end. they did not release a full album until 2020. so clearly those months turned into years at some point. i lost track. their first album, called RAZZMATAZZ, came out in october of 2020, after making everyone wait way too fucking long for a full album. you may recognize that album name. that is because it's my name. i am way too obsessed with this band. they haven't been around for very long, so they don't have much history for me to infodump yet, but i am very proud to say i was one of their first fans, and i'll be a fan until the day i die.

nowadays, jon's still releasing solo music (also we are tiktok mutuals), ryan is a hermit, dallon was never in panic! at the disco at all why am i mentioning him, and brendon released an album called viva las vengeance that bombed so hard he announced the formal disbandment of panic! at the disco last month. the evil is defeated. thanks for coming to the circus, everyone. you can go home now.

[cookies3038]

ABSENCE (BRENDON URIE X RYAN ROSS)

TW: Self harm, self harm references, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, child abuse, blood, sharp objects, suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts and suicide references .

Please do not continue to read if you are sensitive to any of these topics!

Angsty/fluffy Teen! Brendon Urie x Teen! Ryan Ross oneshot.

Word Count: 6753

Hope you enjoy, please comment on any errors or improvements/suggestions or if there are any trigger warnings i missed! This is my first post. I apologise if it's bad yikes >_<.

Also put any one shot requests you have here:

If you have any other ships or x readers (of emo men) put them here:

Also! Credits to one of my best friends called Ash!!! Haha joking, fuck you ella. :p They helped me with the story line, especially the angst :3

—————-

Ryan kicked his shoes off and walked into his house. The horribly familiar scent of alcohol filled his nose, quickly running upstairs to avoid his dad. They lived in a relatively small town, his dad only went to his job for alcohol. He was getting money from his dead wife's bank account; he figured that kept Ryan’s needs sorted. Ryan would often get beatings from his dad, he never had a safe place until he went to school. Even at school he would be bullied and Ryan usually went home to cry himself to sleep. He always wishes everything would be different. Perhaps it would be better if his mom was here; he still went to visit her gravestone every weekend. His dad didn’t care for her except for the money he obtained from her death.

Ryan usually woke up at 5:45am to get ready for school. He had to do everything himself, so it took him longer than others who had their parents support. Ryan had set out all his clothes for the day, until something caught his eye. He looked down at the faded scars on his wrist; they reminded him of the times where he used to self-harm to feel better. Especially after his mother’s death. He stared around his room; the wooden box containing blades had an unusual enticing aura. fuck. He couldn’t relapse now, he’s 3 whole months clean; nearly 100 days.

He swiftly grabbed the blade and made 7 deep slashes across his wrist. He grabbed a tissue to clean himself up.It was the middle of summer and 71.6°F outside. He’d either just have to risk being spotted by teachers or wear a jacket all day. It was way too hot for a jacket and he had sports today; there is no way he could go with a jacket on all day. His school didn’t even have any goddamn air con. Ryan eventually decided to leave his jacket at home and try to cover up his fresh scars with band bracelets. He scrambled down the stairs with his bag slung over his shoulder.

“GET HERE RIGHT NOW!” His dad furiously shouted, Ryan could feel his stomach bubbling with anxiety and dread. He had to obey his father otherwise the punishment would be 10 times worse. He knew what was coming, it happened everyday. His father would punch him and occasionally break glass bottles on his head. Ever since he was born his dad became addicted to drugs. He blamed it on Ryan as he became a father when he didn’t want to.

As Ryan obtained eye contact with the burly irate man, he could see him clench his fist and shake with frustration. He braced himself as he took a clean strike straight to the head, that would definitely bruise quickly. Ryan always had to lie to the teacher and make up excuses. For example ‘I fell over.’ or ‘I got in a fight with another student.’ but Ryan knew he couldn’t keep up th at counterfeit for much longer.

Tears burned his face as his dad yelled for him to leave. He didn’t have anyone anymore. No mother, an unloving father and zero friends. The teachers that he could supposedly go and talk to didn’t even care, that's their job! They're supposed to fake sympathy even if they don't even mean it.

Ryan slammed the door and shoved his headphones in his ears. Even if he didn’t have any special people in his life, he had music. One day he dreamt of being famous. School had recently been getting worse for him; people would constantly call him gay or emo. Sure, he dressed in band shirts but he wasn’t the definition of emo. He never dated anyone, how would he even know if he was gay! His favourite band was my chemical romance, he always looked up to them. Everyday he would listen to them on the way to school. They truly changed his life, they were his source of comfort and inspiration he needed.

Ryan sucked in a deep breath as he arrived at the school gates. Almost immediately getting shouted at. When would this stop? Would it ever stop before it got too much? He just headed to his locker to prepare for English. BANG. There he was in Ryan’s eyeline, the well-known school bully. Already being bullied 3 minutes into the school day…yay. Ryan hated this, being bullied everyday just to go home to an even worse environment. He learned life isn’t always fair but can always be unfair.

He sat in English literature class, alone and bored. The students awaited the arrival of their teacher, Mrs Kay. Everyone was throwing paper aeroplanes and pencils at each other; until, Mrs Kay walked into class with an unfamiliar student. As she saw the disastrous sight of the classroom, she gave a disappointed sigh.

“Class! sit down, please welcome to our classroom a new student. His name is Brendon Urie.” He slowly made his way to the back of the classroom and sat in one of 3 empty desks next to Ryan. He tried to ignore the stinging on his wrists as a new wave of anxiety hit him. He tried to cover his fresh, beedy, scarlet cuts as best as he possibly could; hopefully no one would notice because then he’d be perfect for the bullies to target. They already did anyways, he just couldn’t have anyone see what he went through. His mental state was at an all time low. But, his thoughts were quickly interrupted by the new kid.

“Hey, as you know I’m Brendon. I thought you look pretty cool; I like your style. So, I thought I’d come sit next to you! What’s your name?” Ryan stared at him with shocked glassy eyes. No one had ever been this nice to him.

“Oh, um hi, thanks I’m Ryan Ross. I like your style too.” A smile crept upon his face. He hadn’t felt a genuine smile since his mother was still alive. Brendon shot back a true friendly smile back at him.

“I was wondering if we could have lunch together? If you have any friends I’d love to meet them!” Ryan’s smile faded away slowly. The other boy gave him a sympathetic confused look. He cleared his throat as Ryan just stared off into space.

“Shit, sorry. Yeah I’d like it if we had lunch together,” Ryan paused before continuing with the hard part. “I don’t have any friends though, the only human interaction I usually get is teachers or bullies,” He sighed and let out a small laugh. Brendon stared wide-eyed at the skinny tall boy.

They sat through the rest of the English lesson quietly, occasionally making jokes or commenting on things Mrs Kay said. Ryan kept seeing the teachers glance at his wrist, he continued to shift in his chair. RING. That was the bell for class to be over. Finally! He could get to know Brendon a bit more. But he just had to be interrupted by Mrs Kay.

“Ryan, could I have a word with you please?” Of course Ryan had to agree to it. Who was he to refuse a goddamn teacher? There certainly is no way to get out of this. He just nodded his head and walked towards her. “Ryan, I’m concerned about you. I’ve seen your wrist and I have these mental health concerns and possible ways to fix them on these documents. I need your dad to have them, is that ok?” His palms became sweaty and he tapped his fingers together.

“Is there anyone else we could give it to Mrs Kay?” Ryan anxiously asked.

“Do you have any friends that could help you?” She questioned, obviously knowing the boy’s social life.

“Actually I do,” Ryan replied as he snatched the papers out of her hands and ran to go meet Brendon in the lunch hall.

He took a deep breath before he entered the grand lunch hall. Ryan sat down next to his new friend; he quickly grabbed his lunchbox out of his bag.

“Hey, so I need to tell you something important. Then I have a huge favour I need to ask you,” He spluttered as Brendon took a bite of his sandwich. He happily replied with a simple nod. “Around 5 months ago my mother died,” Brendon looked at the boy with a flabbergasted expression upon his face. “Also, my dad beats me and he is addicted to drugs and alcohol. Obviously having all of that happen to me is quite a burden, after my mom died I fell into a deep spiral of depression…” Ryan didn’t quite realise how many tears started flowing down his face at this point. Brendon wrapped his arm around him as a source of comfort.

“It's ok Ryan, take your time,” He took a small slurp of his drink before panning his attention back to him. Ryan sucked in a deep calming breath before continuing. Words failed to come out of Ryan’s mouth, so he did the next thing he could think of. He carefully removed all the bracelets for his wrist and showed them to Brendon. “I get it Ryan, I’m here for you.” He engulfed him in a warm caring hug.

“I’m sorry, we just met. I shouldn’t have told you this, I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore.” He got up to run away but Brendon grabbed his arm to pull him back. Ryan winced at the stinging sensation reappearing.

“Ryan. I still want to be your friend. I can tell beneath everything that you’ve put up with is a boy who just wants to feel loved again,” He stared at him with an understanding look in his eyes as Ryan slumped back down. “Anyways, what was this ‘favour’ you needed me to do?”

“Mrs Kay gave me these papers about mental health. She said I need to give them to someone because they might be able to help me with panic attacks and stopping self harm,” Ryan sniffled. Brendon took the papers out of his hands and quickly scanned over them.

“How about we go to my house later? We can get to know each other even better and we can discuss these papers,” He flashed a toothy smile at Ryan. He just replied with a simple nod.

The rest of lunch and school went a lot smoother than usual from Ryan’s perspective. Having a friend around really does make life more enjoyable. They agreed to meeting each other in the parking lot after school.

Brendon talked about himself on the walk to his house, simply so Ryan could get to know him better. They scraped their shoes along the warm concrete sidewalk as they approached the Urie’s household.

“I’m home now mom!” brendon shouted as he took a step closer to his kitchen. “I brought a friend over, hope you don’t mind,”

“Of course not honey!” Mrs Urie exclaimed whilst wiping her hands on a towel. Ryan nervously gulped before gaining the courage to speak. His eyes nervously flickered around the room, seeing quite a few religious items such as multiple bibles.

“Hi Mrs Urie, I’m Ryan, nice to meet you!” He blurted before being pulled into a motherly hug. Tears filled his eyes. He forgot what a mothers love felt like.

“Nice to meet you too Ryan, friends are always welcome here!” He only had time to reply with a small nod as he got dragged upstairs by Brendon. Before he knew it he was entering Brendon’s colourful yet very teenage room.

“So, I had a look at the papers and it’s just about frequently checking up on you. I think we can handle that,” Brendon cheerfully explained.

“Yeah, I think we can!” Ryan replied with a cheshire-cat-like grin spreading upon his face. His smile was clearly contagious as brendon has an identical one spread across his face as well.

They continued chatting together but were eventually cut off by Ryan’s phone buzzing. Seeing as it was his dad, he thought he better answer it or there would probably be consequences. “Sorry Brendon, I have to take this,” Brendon simply nodded as Ryan headed just outside his room.

“RYAN! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?” His dad shouted down the line. Ryan started to anxiously pick at his nails as he thought of his response carefully.

“I’m at a friend's house, sorry.” His breathing slowly picked up as he awaited his dad’s reply.

“Just get home now, I’ll just have to punish you later!” He sighed. Ryan’s eyes pricked with tears as he slid down the wall. Teardrops soaked his jeans as he quietly sobbed. He ripped a piece of paper from his homework and wrote an explanation to Brendon.

‘Sorry. I had to leave :P’

He grabbed his bag from the hallway and left the Urie house. Thank god his house was only a couple blocks away. God only knows what his dad was about to do.

Brendon slowly creaked his door open; it’d been 10 minutes since Ryan left to take the call. Surely it can’t take that long. To Brendon’s surprise, Ryan wasn’t there at all. He frantically scrammed back into his room to flop back onto his bed. Had Ryan text him?

From Ryan:

I left a note, sorry.

His heart raced as he crept back outside and read the note. He left Ryan a few texts along the lines of ‘Don’t worry’ or ‘Where did you go?’ to say he was concerned about him was an understatement. He was extremely distressed over his new friend. What if he gets beaten again? Even though he only met him today, Ryan was his number 1 priority. The scent of food disrupted his thoughts. He went downstairs and slumped down at the dinner table.

Ryan took a deep shaky breath as his dad opened the door. “Get here you little shit.” His dad’s voice rang through his ears. The only sound Ryan could let out was a weak whimper. Before he knew it, an empty beer bottle was smashed against his head. His dad gave out a menacing chuckle, pushing him straight to the floor. “You are garbage, don’t forget it.” Ryan sluggishly walked upstairs; he felt exceedingly lightheaded. Even more than all the normal times his father beat him, he was so used to the sensation. But he could tell this was unusual. When he entered the bathroom, his vision went blurry and dark as he collapsed into a heap on the ground.

Three hours later.

It was 8:15pm, 4 whole hours since Brendon last spoke to Ryan. Brendon was casually scrolling myspace, until he noticed how alarming it was that Ryan hadn’t responded. His mind panned back to what he had told him earlier, wait, did he go home? What happened with his dad. He didn’t have any time to waste as he chucked on his shoes and yelled to his mom. “I’m going to check on a friend, is that okay?”

“Of course honey,” and with his mom’s confirmation he sped out the door. His sneakers scuffed along the damp concrete and he puffed out heavy exhausted breaths. Rain fell upon his face as he ran so hard his legs nearly gave out.

Hang on, how was he going to get in? Fuck. He should've thought of this before he sprinted here. After pondering on what he should do, he spotted a window which was cracked open. He squeezed his body into the tight gap and got into the house. He could see the staircase from where he was standing. Loud chuckles and clattering of beer bottles against tables were erupting from the room next door. So, if that was Ryan’s dad he could easily get upstairs without being caught.

Once he tiptoed upstairs, a thud sound came from behind a closed door. Surely no one else was here, right? As the cogs turned in his brain, it came to him that it was Ryan. Frantically, his hands turned the doorknob to reveal Ryan curled in a ball on the ground. Brendon examined his whole body checking for injuries; blood was streaming out of his head. He inspected the injury closer and pulled small shards of what looked like beer bottle glass out from his brown locks.

“Ryan, can you hear me?” Brendon calmly spoke as he shook the young boy. He didn’t respond. His body laid unconsciously on the freezing tiles. Small teardrops turned into loud sobs as Brendon held Ryan as if he was fragile porcelain. He picked up Ryan and retraced his previous footsteps to end up back at his house. “MOM!” Brendon let out a shaky cry out of terror.

“Brendon? What’s wrong honey?” His mother quickly rushed to the front door and gasped before being interrupted by Brendon.

“Help me to get Ryan to hospital please,” He said through his teeth whilst choking back tears.

“He’ll be okay honey, I promise. Now, go get in the car,” She quietly answered as she rushed to get her keys. Brendon buckles his seatbelt faster than ever as he props Ryan up against him. Mrs Urie didn’t say a word to him; it was clear he was very distraught about this whole situation. I mean, who wouldn't be?

Brendon wiped away his tears as they stepped into the Emergency Room. His mom rubbed his back as a source of comfort; he just hoped that Ryan would be okay. Brendon sucked in a deep breath before talking to the worker at the front desk.

“What seems to be the problem?” The worker asked in a caring tone.

“My friend has an abusive dad, he didn’t respond to my text for hours. So, I went to check up on him and found him with glass in his head and he was unconscious on his bathroom floor.” He sniffled as he awaited the response.

“Ok, your friend will be in to see a doctor in 5 minutes max,” They thanked them before sitting down. Brendon anxiously shook his knee up and down as he waited. Ryan was so precious to him. They’ve only known each other for a day, but Brendon still felt this overwhelming need to take care of him and be there for him.

After a five minute wait, the nurse asked for them. “Ryan Ross? Doctor Lockwood is ready for you.”

“I’ll wait here, good luck.” Brendon’s mom gave him a pat on the back. He carried Ryan to the doctor; then he was instructed to place him on a hospital bed. Before he could even blink, the doctors got straight to work as they stitched up his wound.

“Mister Urie,” Dr Lockwood began. “I would like to discuss Ryan’s injury with you,” Brendon sat with the doctor for 45 minutes and explained. Worry ran through his veins as he thought about Ryan. “Well, Ryan’s stitches should be finished, if you would like to go and see him!” Lockwood exclaimed whilst looking at his rusty watch.

Brendon nodded and rushed to go see his friend. “Hi Ryan, how are you holding up?” He quietly whispered.

“I’m good, what happened? I don’t remember much..” He sniffled and gave Brendon a half smile. He explained for a 3rd time what happened and after an hour Ryan got discharged.

They got back into their car and Brendon sat in the back, just in case anything happened. “Ryan,” Mrs Urie spoke up, “I don’t think you should go back to your house, at least not tonight. It really does not sound safe for you, also I’m sure Brendon wouldn’t mind a sleepover!”

“B-but my dad will be really mad if he finds out I left and I’m not there.” Tears slowly welled up in his eyes.

“Ryan, I promise I won’t let anything happen to you. May I have your dad’s number? I’ll tell him you're staying at ours, then I will have to tell the police, okay?” Mrs Urie had her mind set on this, it was extremely wrong to do this to a kid. What a monster he must be. Ryan just leaned his head on Brendon’s shoulder, occasionally lifting his hand to wipe his tears away.

They silently unbuckled their seatbelts and made their way inside the house. Brendon led Ryan upstairs to the bathroom and got a spare toothbrush out for him.

“Uh Brendon, I don’t have any clothes to sleep in,” Immediately after, he went to get clothes for him. He grabbed shorts and a baggy hoodie. Ryan took the clothes from Brendon and muttered a small thanks.

“You can get changed in here, I’ll go to my room.” Giving him a little smile, he exited the room.

A few minutes later, Ryan was ready for bed. He stared confused at the floor; oh great, there’s only one bed. “Do you want me to sleep on the floor, Bren?” His heart fluttered at the thought of a nickname. Brendon blushed before clearing his throat.

“Oh no, I don’t mind you sleeping in my bed! It’s massive anyway,” He awkwardly chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. Ryan slowly crawled into bed next to Brendon. He clicked off the bedside light and snuggled down into his pillow. “Night Ry,” Ryan felt his cheeks heat up and glow red with the simple nickname. No one ever made him feel this way, what emotion even was this? He couldn’t quite figure it out; he copied Brendon’s previous movement and fell into a calm slumber.

-

The next morning, Ryan awoke with an extra warm sensation to one side of him. It seemed that Brendon had attached himself in his sleep. He wasn’t complaining, it was quite relaxing. He reached over to his phone on the oak table. His eyes squinted as the bright screen flashed violently. Brendon stirred in his sleep as Ryan took a few pictures on his phone. He could tell Brendon was waking up, his deep snoring stopped and he was constantly moving. Eventually he ended up with his head on Ryan’s chest, Brendon rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“Morning Ryan, sorry for kind of sleeping on you,” He let out a content sigh and grabbed a bottle of water. Ryan stretched out his long arms and sat up.

“It’s ok, I don’t mind,” He grinned and headed to brush his teeth. Brendon quickly did the same thing, after proposing the idea of pancakes. Ryan eagerly agreed as he leaped down the stairs.

They sat together on the couch with the white noise of the television buzzing in their ears. After they had finished their pancakes, they shared memes on their phone and had a normal chat. Brendon’s mom interrupted them with an idea. “Y’know you guys could go out today!” Ryan quickly accepted the idea with a cheerful nod. Brendon exchanged glances with him as they decided upon a final decision. “There’s lovely restaurants in the town centre, I’ll give you some money boys.”

“Oh, It’s okay Mrs Urie. You don’t have to give me any money; you’ve done more than enough by letting me stay here.”

“Don’t be silly,” She chucked, “having your company is lovely, I don’t mind giving you money!” Mrs Urie smiled as she handed Ryan $50.

“Let’s go get ready then!” Brendon grinned as he excitedly ran upstairs. “I’ve got some clothes you can wear,” He shouted. Ryan flinched at the loud shouting, growing up he always hated shouting, even before his dad started to abuse him. His dad would usually have screaming wars with his mom; no matter what, it would end in his mom crying and Ryan trying his best to comfort her. He was only young, he couldn't do much about it.

Twenty minutes had passed, they were both completely ready and went out. “Mom! We’re going now,” He yelled, waiting for his mother’s response.

“Okay, remember to be safe!” Mrs Urie scrambled to grab her phone as they left. She dialled the police’s number to tell them about Ryan’s dad. Ring. Ring. Ring.

“Hello ma'am, what are you calling us for?” They answered; she went on to explain about his situation (In extreme detail) for almost an hour straight.

“Thanks for your report, we’ll send the police around there now and hopefully remove any harmful substances from the house.”

“Thank you so much, goodbye.” With that being said, they hung up and presumably got to work.

Brendon and Ryan were in the town centre now; they walked the streets together, hands occasionally grazing each other. They eventually entered a small restaurant tucked in the corner of a street. Two lengthy hours sharing conversation and eating lunch.

Once they had finished their meals, Brendon had called the waiter over and paid for the food.

“How about we head to the restroom quickly and then go home?” He suggested with a small smile on his face as he admired Ryan. He replied with a mini nod and smiled back at him.

Brendon was washing his hands in the marble sink as Ryan stared at him. He grabbed a few paper towels, drying his hands off. Straight after, they left the restaurant, feeling content.

“That was a really good meal!” Ryan beamed but was abruptly cut off by a man in all black + a mask attack Brendon. He was put in a headlock and had a gun put to his head; it wasn’t a busy street and the restaurant windows were tinted. No one would see.

“GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!” The man barked. Brendon whimpered as he couldn’t reach his pockets and stared at Ryan for help. He proceeded to punch the man square in the face. He couldn’t stand to watch Brendon be hurt any longer.

“Fuck off; don’t ever threaten us again.” Ryan growled as he scrammed. Brendon had tears in his eyes, frozen in shock. He engulfed him in a hug, Brendon only responded by resting his head on Ryan’s shoulder.

He rubbed his back and sighed. They stayed like that for a good minute until Ryan cupped his cheeks and wiped his glistening tears away. Their eyes were locked onto each other as they breathed deeply. Brendon slowly leaned closer and just before he could pull away; Ryan’s lips collided with Brendon’s. It was a sweet caring kiss, nothing but care and affection.

A moment was spent with Brendon longingly looking into Ryan’s hazel eyes. Suddenly, Brendon pulls back and pushes him away, a new-found rage filling his pupils.

“Ryan, boys can’t love boys,” He said as he ran away, shouting at Ryan to not follow him.

The bus was due in 3 minutes.

Brendon ran like his life depended on it; his lungs felt as if they were collapsing. His feet were on fire, he finally reached the bus stop just as it arrived. The bus hissed as the air brakes were being used. The double doors swung open as Brendon eagerly ran inside and raced to the back of the bus.

His hands traced designs on the polyester fabric of the bus seats. Thoughts raced through his mind at a 1000mph. Brendon couldn’t get Ryan out of his head. Every thought or idea was centred around him.

Shit.

He didn’t like Ryan. He couldn’t! His mum simply would disown him, she’s the most religious person he’d ever met. She would NEVER let Brendon see Ryan again. But, did Brendon actually have feelings for him?

The way his stomach gets butterflies whenever he thinks of him. The way a light dusty blush brushes his cheeks whenever they touch. The way he admired every movement Ryan made.

Fuck. He wasn’t just simply in love. He was head over heels. He had to tell someone, it had to be Ryan.

His mind wandered, taking him back to a time where his mother had a strong point of view.

~ Flashback ~

“Brendon! Pay attention, young man,” His mother disciplined as he played with his shoe laces.

“Sorry,” He muttered, turning his attention to the boring pastor. The pastor was talking about being homosexual, he didn’t appear to have a very fond opinion of it. Brendon’s mom was so brainwashed by him, she fully believed his opinion on homosexuality was right. It wasn’t; everyone should be accepted for who they are.

In the end, her views were so extreme that homosexuality is the reason they moved. She’d found out that there was quite a few homosexual kids at his school and refused to stay there.

~ End of flashback ~

Brendon had come to a realisation, he was bisexual. Even though his current love interest was a man, he had felt sexual attraction to women as well.

The bus came to a halt. He rushed out of the musty bus and raced to his house. He needed to make things right, but first he needed to know Ryan was ok.

Swinging open the door, he shouted for his mother. “MOM!” He yelled in a frightened tone.

“What is wrong? Where’s Ryan?” Brendon felt a sickening sensation form in his stomach at the small mention of the boy.

Ryan sat cross-legged on the sidewalk, tears flew down his face as he thought of Brendon. How could he just ditch him like that? He thought that Brendon was there for him after the incident with his dad. Oh, that was another thing to sob about. His shitty father. Why did he have to end up like this? Ryan reminisced on all his memories with his mother, tears increasing their quantity.

He did know one thing that would make him feel better. He knew it wasn’t the best solution, but it would put a temporary stop to his emotion. Cutting himself, that's all he could think to do. The sky had dimmed, now being a dusky grey. Ryan shuffled down the alleyway and yanked the shiny, metal blade out of his pocket. His hands roamed to pull his sleeve up. A few cuts, that's all he needed. He couldn’t seem to stop.

Ruby blood pooled around him and darkness overcame him.

“Mom, I left Ryan in the town centre. We had a slight argument,” Brendon whimpered. He curled up into a ball on the floor and weeped. “Please, go get him,” He pleaded.

Mrs Urie nodded and responded in a soothing voice, “Ok dear, you go upstairs and calm yourself down!” She exited through the front door and started up her car. Brendon dragged his body upstairs and flopped onto his comforting bed, recollection of cuddling up to Ryan washes over him.

After a while, she arrived at her destination. She glanced around the restaurant, Ryan was nowhere to be seen. Un popping her pocket, she grabbed her phone out of her pocket.

To Brendon:

Hey, is (restaurant name) where you went? I can’t s-

Her typing was cut off by her view being attached to a boy in the alleyway. Hurriedly, she scrambled over to him, her heart felt as if it was in her throat. It was Ryan.

“Ryan,” she called out, “I’ve come to get you!”

No response. Dead silence. The blood glimmered in the dull street lights.

“Oh my…” She gasped. Mrs Urie picked up Ryan in her arms and ran as fast as she could to the car.

She frantically propped his body against the leather seats. Her hands rummaged in the back of the car for her first aid kit. A green bag was quickly opened, strings of bandages were pulled out.

Slowly, stretchy bandages were wrapped around Ryan’s wrist, she applied firm pressure as it soaked up his blood. His limp body was put into a more comfortable position, buckling up their seatbelts, she started the car.

Ryan stirred in his slumber, his eyes soon adjusted to the colourful street lights.

“Mrs Urie?” He earned a small gasp out of her mouth.

Shocked and stunned, she replied, “Yes Ryan?”

“Where are you taking me?” He said with his eyebrows knitted into a confused expression.

“Just back to my house,” She said with a friendly smile on her face. She pondered for a moment, then got the courage to express her thoughts. “What happened between you and Bren?”

Several tears were appearing in his eyes, just at the simple mention of the boy. Gosh, he really was in love. It was just a shame his gay realisation had to be so tragic.

Eventually, he spoke up, “Uh, I kissed Brendon,”

“YOU WHAT!” She screeched.

“I don’t even know! It just felt right at the time…” He trailed off.

“You and Brendon are seriously in for it when we arrive at home! And do not even THINK about texting him to warn him!” She scolded. Ryan sat silently for the rest of the ride; he wished the ground beneath him would open up and swallow him whole.

They arrived and to say Ryan was horrified was an understatement. His hands were shaking and his eyes were threatening to spill tears.

“BRENDON! GET HERE NOW!” She squawked. Brendon knew that he was in for it. By the tone of her voice, reminding him of his father, Ryan grew more anxious.

Thundering steps boomed down the staircase as Brendon came rushing down. His eyes bulged out of his head; as he looked at Ryan, a panicked expression spread across his face.

“What happened Ryan?” He blurted with a soft, worried voice.

“You! You don’t care about me,” Ryan yelled, emotion loud in his voice. Brendon stared at him in shock, he felt as if a piece of his heart shattered into a billion pieces.

“Ryan, listen to me!” He pleaded, but Ryan slammed the door and ran to their bathroom. Brendon thought that Ryan hated him; little did he know, Ryan was going through the exact same thought process.

Ryan curled up in the corner of the bathroom, tears didn’t just fall, they were crashing around him. He thought back on wanting the world to swallow him up; he realised he was just suppressing his feelings. Ryan was suicidal.

He balled his fist up and shoved them inside his denim jacket pockets. Something cold pressed against his knuckles.

The blade.

Resisting wasn’t an option, he was overcome with an extreme need. A need his mind said he must fulfil.

However, he found his wrist wasn’t enough this time. He needed more. More blood. More thrill.

More pain.

This urgency for more resulted in him slitting his throat. First, only starting off with small cuts, blood rushing to the surface, but not dribbling onto his skin. The emotion had gotten so intense, he began to cut deeper. Blood rushed down his neck, ruining his shirt and occasionally dripping onto his jacket.

Ryan had started to feel light-headed. He stumbled around the bathroom; fuck, how was he meant to hide this scar. Before even taking any protocols into consideration, he began to clean up. Brendon didn’t have anything to clean cuts with. Of course he didn’t, what was Ryan thinking?

Carefully, his freezing hands pressed the paper towel against his neck. Sucking in a breath - caused by the pain - as it began to sting.

Why didn’t his attempt work? All he wanted was to be gone, he’d thought there was nothing else left for him on Earth. He might as well just die. He thought he was pathetic, that's what drove his passion for pain.

A knock came from the old, creaky door.

“Ryan,” Brendon said firmly. Ryan’s heart leapt out of his chest, he couldn’t face Brendon, at least not now. Quickly, he wiped his teardrops away and tried to steady his voice.

“Yes?” Ryan said, his voice slightly shaky from previous events.

“Come out, please…” His tone was hopeful; all he wanted was for Ryan to come out of the bathroom.

Ryan choked back his tears as he examined his neck in the mirror. “I can’t,” Ryan thought carefully about his response, but nothing was a good enough reason.

“I promise I don’t hate you…” Brendons voice trailed off before he continued. “I actually have some, uh, complicated feelings. I'd like to talk to you about it. But only if it’s alright with you!” He took a huge gulp, awaiting the other boy's reply.

No reply was made. Ryan lowered his head into his knees; he’d never been this bad. He let everything get to him, every comment, every action and most importantly everything. Some things (or people) are better off being shut out.

“I’m coming in Ryan; I can tell you're not okay,” Brendon waited for any final reponses. Finally, he turned the door knob with his hand.

He was speechless, bloody tissues and more cuts on his wrist. But, he hadn’t seen the worst of it yet. Brendon sat opposite Ryan.

He rubbed Ryan’s shoulder comfortingly. He was waiting for some form of eye contact; looking to find meaning and emotion in his eyes. Any form of communication would work, a sign even!

Ryan pricked his head up. Brendons breathing faltered as he saw his neck. Hundreds of thoughts ran through both their minds.

Suddenly, a harsh slap was delivered to Brendon from Ryan. It was all too overwhelming for him. His brain was shutting down and he wasn’t thinking straight.

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” Ryan raised his voice.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE! RYAN, I’M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU!” Brendon felt his eyes rapidly well up.

“Well. Maybe I don’t want your help!” He said, quite a bit quieter this time.

“Clearly, you need someone's help! You can’t go a single fucking day without cutting yourself,” He muttered, Brendon was extremely pissed off by now. He had never been in a situation like this; all he yearned to do was help. Help the special person in his life.

Brendon realised that he shouldn’t have said that, he could’ve just ruined their (complicated) relationship completely. He seemed to snap out of his thoughts when Ryan was sobbing.

Brendon did that. He realised he made Ryan this sad.

“I’m so sorry Ryan, I wasn’t thinking! I didn’t mean it,” He apologised, Ryan meant so much to him. How could he do that to him?

“Go away,” Ryan sniffled. “I hate you,” He wept. Brendon knew he didn’t actually mean it. Even Ryan knew he didn’t mean it. Ryan had also come to the realisation that he did in fact need help.

Brendon stayed sat opposite him. He was lost for words; he had no idea what to do. He stayed silent, wishing that Ryan would say something first.

Fortunately, his wish came true. Ryan finally spoke up after what felt like an hour of silence - in reality it was less than a minute.

“Bren,” His cheeks dusted a pink shade at the pet name. “I need help,” He said and took a gulp of courage.

Brendon took Ryan’s hand in his hand. “Y’know I’d get you any help you needed,” He told him, maintaining a calm eye contact.

“All I need is you,” Ryan sighed softly; finding a sudden surge of confidence. Their eyes were like gravitational pulls towards each other; not leaving their view.

Brendon pulled Ryan into a deep, passionate kiss. Breath slightly shaky as their lips parted.

“When I left, I realised that I’m in love with you…” Brendon blurted. His cheeks burned a bright pink hue.

“I guess it’s true,” Ryan snickered, the other boy just stared, confused.

“What?” He questioned, trying to think of the answer, mind blanking.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,”

—

A/N That is the end of this oneshot! Hope you enjoyed it! Fun fact: this was based off of something I wrote in class :p

[bootyshaker900o]

“Playlists of my unhealthy obsessions/Simping”

These men have caused such a brain rot- that like they are my whole personality. I made a little playlist of songs for them

Dave/William Afton (🧍‍♂️ I have problems)

Jocelyn Flores - XXXTENTACION

Can You Feel My Heart - Bring Me the Horizon

Yandere - Jazmin Bean

Sex, Drugs, Etc. - Beach Weather

R U Mine? - Arctic Monkeys

Play Date - Melanie Martinez

Perverted - Elita

The Neden Game - ICP

Stalker’s Tango - Autoheart

Say My Name - Alex Brightman

Imma Kill You - ICP

Blow My Brains Out - Tikkle Me

CHOKE - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Ryn, Rabinit Run - Flanagan and Allen

Boogie Woogie Wu - ICP

Donnie

Dirty Harry - Gorillaz

Me and Your Mama - Childish Gambino

Hell of a Ride - Bo Burnham

Family Jewels - Marina and the Diamonds

I’m still standing - Elton John

Puppet Boy - DEVO

Afraid - The Neighborhood

Reflections - The Neighborhood

Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys

One day - Lovejoy

The Ending - Hobo Johnson

Trouble - Hazel Bloom

Teen Romance - Lil Peep

Alien Blues - Vundabar

Team - Mag.Lo

Bad - Michael Jackson

Orphan Tears - Your Favorite Martian

Draxum

Problems - Mother Mother

Zydrate Anatomy - Paris Hilton

Toxic - Britney Spears

Liquid Smooth - Mitski

W.D.Y.W.F.M? - The Neighborhood

Trom Cat - Tyler, the Creator

E.T. - Katy Perry, Kanye West

Molly - MSI

Enemy - Imagine Dragons, JID

Never Satisfied - CORPSE

Desire - Meg Myers

Venom - Little Simz

Daddy AF - Slayyter (don’t ask)

Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

Such A Whore - JVLA

Six Forty Seven - Instupendo

Silco

Daddy issues - The Neighborhood

Genius- Sia, Diplo, Labrinth, LSD

Same Old Love - Selena Gomez

Guys My Age - HEY VIOLET

Life of the Party - The Weeknd

High Enough - K.Flay

Government Hooker - Lady Gaga

Why don’t U - Father, ABRA

New Americana - Halsey

Do You Even? - Jorge Aguilar II

Sugar Daddy - Qveen Herby 

Royals - Lorde

I Feel Like I’m Drowning - Two Feet

New Person, Same Mistakes - Tame Impala

Cold - Maroon 5

Come As You Are - Nirvana

Fantasy - Bazzi

Raph (my sweet baby boy 😭)

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

Somebody To Love - Queen

Careless Whispers  - George Michaels 

Her - Tyler, The Creator 

Are We Still Friends? - Tyler, The Creator

Trumpets - Jason Derulo

Hold On, We’re Going Home - Drake

Rodeo - Lil Nas X

Ms. Jackson - Outkast

EARFQUAKE - Tyler, The Creator

Mine - Bazzi

Die for You - The Weeknd

Love on the Brain - Rihana

Crazy In Love - Beyoncé, JAY-Z

Lucifer

Gooey - Glass Animals

Love Me Dead - Ludo

The Distance - CAKE

Like A Stone - Audioslave

Luxurious- Gwen Stafani

Applause - Lady Gaga

Please Me - Cardi B, Bruno Mars

Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand

Alejandro - Lady Gaga

Love Is a Bitch - Two Feet

Aint no Rest for The Wicked - Cage the Elephant

Animal - Sir Chloe

Mr. Saxobeat - Alexandra Stan

Judas - Lady Gaga

Livin La Vida Loca - Ricky Martin

White Flag - Bishop Briggs

River - Bishop Briggs

Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke

Sway - Michael Bublé

Juicy

Monster Energy Gun - KevinKempt

Chop Chop Slide - ICP

Get Low - Lil Jon

Crazy - Gnarls Barkley

Star Shopping - Lil Peep

Never There - CAKE

Shake That - Eminem, Nate Dogg

Everywhere I Go - Hollywood Undead

Revenge - XXXTENTACION

POLTERGEIST! - CORPSE

My Mom - Eminem

Asshole - hooligan chase

Under the Influence - Eminem, D12

Shots - LMFAO

Him and I - G-Eazy, Halsey

The Hills - The Weeknd

my boy - Billie Eilish

Leo

Ain’t Shit - Dojo Cat

Feel Like God - Gazy

Nightmare - Halsey

Good-Old Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

Mujeriego - Ryan Castro

Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics, Annie Lennox

Let’s Groove - Earth, Wind, and Fire

Pizzazz - Akintoye

Slumber Party - Ashnikko

INDUSTRY BABY - Lil Nas X

Milkshake - BBY KODIE

Bad - Michael Jackson

Pony - Ginuwine

Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At the Disco

Blah Blah Blah - The Oozes

Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic

Joker (Joaquin & Heath’s) (don’t ask- please dont)

Purple Lamborghini- Skrillex, Rick Ross

Fame - David Bowie

Wolf is Sheep’s Clothing - Set It Off

To Catch a Predator- ICP

Back in Black - AC/DC

Tentative - System of a Down

Rainbows and Stuff - ICP

Hokus Pokus - ICP

Murder Go Round - ICP

The Juggla - ICP

HAHA - Lil Darkie

Broken - Lund

I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace

Criminal - Britney Spears

Cradles - Sub Urban

Loki

Mind Games - Sickick

I’m A Slave 4 U - Britney Spears

Who is She? - I Monster

A Pearl - Mitski

Cigarettes Out the Window - TV Girl

Redbone - Childish Gambino 

All for Us - Labrinth, Zendaya

Sucker For Pain - Lil Wayne, Imagine Dragons

My Ordinary Life - The Living Tombstone

Bubblegum Bitch - MARINA

I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At the Disco

Partition - Beyoncé

Suit and Tie - Justing Timberlake

Jealous - Eyedress

Yellow - Coldplay

My Oh My - Camila Cabello

[damnitiloveyou]

I’m seeing a lot of hate for the guy who plays Ross. Do you know anything about that?

I don't know that hate is the right word but Robron fans certainly didn't care for him. He was just always kind of an ass, anon. He would say nonsense on Twitter to try and start things with certain fan groups. He would take cheap shots. There were some things that went on behind the scenes several years before he left that involved Danny and Isabel (Victoria), but I honestly don't remember the details enough to recount it with any kind of accuracy. He mostly seemed jealous of the attention that Ryan and Danny got and generally acted like a child throwing a tantrum whenever he had the chance. I also flat out couldn't stand Ross so that certainly didn't help him. He got his 'sunset' ending when he left though so I can't wait to see what ridiculous reason they came up with for him to move back. Of all the characters who have left he has to be about the most useless one they could have brought back. So I have no idea what he will have to do.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

I just really can't fathom what the show are aiming for with this John nonsense. If they want to move Aaron on to a new love interest then you would think they would want to give it the best shot of working and in order to do that mentioning Robert or anything connected to him as little as possible would be the logical way to go in the hope of having Aaron/the audience forgot him and move on. But instead they are doing the total opposite and connecting it all to Robert! It's so beyond weird.

Yeah it's a weird choice.

As I mentioned at the end of my last ask, if they want Aaron to be a viable character again and Ryan refuses to come back, they need to have him fully move on and get a new love interest because they don't seem interested in doing other stories with him.

That doesn't mean you can't connect it to Robert, just not like this. One of my many other "better" versions of a love interest story for Aaron was bringing Seb back to stay with Victoria after Bex and Ross break up and she can't handle him on her own. Aaron slowly rebonds with Seb who has grown up with a picture of him and Robert and still knows him. Lots of Robert talk but in a way that makes sense in show. And then Aaron ends up falling for the social worker who does regular checks on Seb who starts out with Vic and then eventually Aaron does become his legal guardian. You can have the social worker love story going along side of it and because he's trying to make it not an HR violation story, at like the last check in, he passes it off to a colleague cause he knows he can't be objective and Aaron panics and thinks he's ruined things. The check in is momentarily thrown into chaos but everything works out in the end and Aaron gets to keep him and then social worker guy shows up after or during I don't know, and says that he chooses Aaron and Seb.

So like...you can totally have the Robert connection with Seb but just...not with his long lost brother for absolutely no reason.

I don't know what they're thinking either.

[lola-babylon]

Ryan Ross has said, in a podcast appearance with friends in 2019, that he doesn't regret leaving PATD. Which is good. It's a terrible thing to live with regret.

A question I'd be more interested in, is whether he regrets that Panic got so big so quickly? Does he ever wish they'd had more time to mature, musically and individually, and to develop their sound and fan base over time? It may not have been likely from a clashing personalities point of view but I'm most interested in how he views the situation as a musician, whether he ever wishes they'd had more opportunities to focus on the music, which is hard to do when you're 19/20 years old and suddenly facing a crazy situation like Panic were thrown in when AFYCSO blew up.

I'd kind of compare Panic's situation to that of The Strokes with Is This It and the media frenzy that created, except The Strokes:

Were just a couple of years older - which makes a huge difference at that age;

Broke big just before the early days of social media and didn't have the teenage fan base with all the intense scrutiny, bandom and shipping;

Refused to do anything "commercial" (you wouldn't see them on a tour sponsored by a car manufacturer) so The Strokes kind of handicapped themselves with sales and promotion right there.

Also as opposed to Ryan, Julian Casablancas is the primary songwriter and lead singer, which gave him a control over his band that Ryan didn't have.

Just thinking out loud, but if Ryan gives any interviews in the future I'd like someone to ask him how he feels about this as a musician, rather than asking him about a quip he made about spray cheese 20 years ago.

About shippers, though.

The Strokes provided so, so much source material for shippers. What Brendon and Ryan hinted at in their stage act...

The Strokes spelled outall the damn time.

Then there was whatever Julian had going on with Jack White.

A direct quote from Jack White: "Julian stayed at my house and slept in my childhood bedroom, even wore my pajamas. He came into my room in the middle of the night thinking it was the bathroom and we laughed." (From Meet Me In The Bathroom)

Oh bandom shippers, why are you searching for crumbs from Petekey when there is this much juicy meat to gnaw on?

I'm not implying that the Strokes had greater artistic integrity than Panic for rejecting commercial opportunities. For most bands, the dream is just to be able to support yourselves financially by making music, and even if you achieve that it can end at any moment. If you're offered commercial opportunities, you pretty much have to take them; this could be the one shot you have to establish some financial security beyond the grind of life as a touring musician. That wasn't an issue for the Strokes - (in)famously, most of them came from wealthy backgrounds. They could afford to say no to commercial opportunities - even if that didn't make sense to people in their inner circle. To quote Amanda de Cadenet, wife of Strokes guitarist Nick Valensi: "They're the band that turned down a million dollars for some Heineken ad. That's dumb. Ryan [Gentiles, the Strokes long time manager] has taken a lot of flak for not being able to do things that we all think they should have done, but nobody can get these fuckers to do anything they don't want to do." (Again from Meet Me In The Bathroom).

The main point of this post is wondering if Ryan Ross, as a musician, ever wishes Panic had had a slower burn, more of a chance to find their feet as people and a band before the onslaught of fame. But in research for this post I found photos I just had to share, and here we are.

[cloddot]

How the choir fit into Ghosts Au -

Every member of the choir died at age 17 after riding the cyclone, however they all died in completely different time periods 

.Constance was first to die with her falling victim to the cyclone in the early 60s -

.her family moved to uranium as the mines were starting up in the 50s, setting up shop running the Blackwood cafe in town 

 .she grew up with the town, being one of the first to ride the cyclone when the fair originally opened, instantly falling in love with the ride 

. She went to the fair a lot during her work breaks, with one of these breaks being when she eventually lost her life

.Ocean died next, with her death being in the mid to late 60s -

 .Her family moved to the outskirts of Uranium during the hippie boom with them being one of the original settlers at Elysium community farm 

 .she didnt get to leave the commune much after they moved if at all and she hated almost every second of being stuck there 

 .After finally biting the bullet and breaking a rule she snuck out of Elysium with her first adventure leading her to the fair, were she eventually rode the cyclone 

.Ricky died in the late 80s/ ealry 90s -

 .this is my au, I make the rules, I get to give them all the any pronoun trans fem swag I like :)

 .with their prognosis looking grim the local church his parents attended took pity on Ricky, offering her a make a wish sort of situation 

 .Her original idea got shot down almost immediately, with them having no way of being able to send her space, especially not for that. The churches plan B also fell flat due to him being banned from almost every seafood restaurant in Canada due to what can only be described as the SHRIMP HEAVEN NOW!!! incident. This led to the church being kinda lost for what to do with the lad, with them eventually just sending Ricky to the newly reopened fair with a chaperone in hand 

 .They took full advantage of the trip, using it to ride the Gravitron a total of 28 times back to back, pissing off their chaperone who insisted they go on something else, leading them to take a ride on the cyclone 

.Noel died in 2009 -

 .EMO NOEL!!! EMO NOEL!!! EMO NOEL!!!!

 .This boy is obsessed with Ryan Ross and Pete Wentz and you can not convince me otherwise 

 .I am so sorry Noel Gruber enjoyers but i currently have no clue how he ended up at the fair, if you have any ideas please send them over 

.Mischa died in 2016 -

 .After stealing three boxes of communion wine Father Marcus took Mischa under his wing in an attempt to keep him out of trouble 

 .Somehow He ends up finding out about BadEgg and Mishas passion for music and tries to get him to join the choir, with all his attempts failing miserably up until he manages to coax him into coming with them for the Kiwanis International singing competition 

 .Mischa skips the actual competition though using the time to talk to Talia 

 .Trying to make the most out of the trip he also decided to wander around the fair, eventually ending up taking a ride on the cyclone to see what all the fuss is about after hearing the multiple ghost stories that now surround the ride