#ruthless femslash

[torturedpoetskywalker]

Femslash February 2023

"You always think you're not thanking me enough, but the best gift you ever gave me is you." - Padmé Amidala/Sabé

wc: 262 | ao3 | femslash february: day 3 | femslash february prompts (@femslashfeb): 025, gift | femslash february prompts (@rollisicarisi): 026, safe | femslash february prompts (@disorientedrabbit​): 007, do it for her. 017, love languages | fandom: star wars - prequel trilogy |��rating: general

[reesesfastbreak]

016. Celebration

fandom: Do Revenge

pairing: Gabbi Broussard/Carissa Jones/Meghan Perez

summary: When Carissa finally gets her GED, Drea and Eleanor make it all about them

Happy 2024 everyone! Here's to hoping a fun and productive year to creative endeavors (or any endeavors really) to us all.

[dorotheafromthesea]

Firsts

Day one of Femslash February. It's only a small drabble but it's the closest thing to writing I did recently.

Fandom: Stranger Things

Pairing: Barb x Nancy

Nancy was a lot of Barb’s firsts. 

Nancy was her first real friend after they moved to Hawkins in third grade. Barb had been a shy kid, and coming to a new school where everybody knew everybody in the middle of the school year did not help in getting any new friends. But Nancy just sat down next to her and began to talk about Barb’s book. “I love Narnia. Did you read all of them?” When she answered she doesn’t have the other books at home, Nancy invited her over to read them together. And shortly afterward, they did everything together, projects and activities at school, reading their favorite books and talking about their own fantastic universe, doing sleepovers. Barb stayed for Dinner with the Wheelers, and Nancy joined the Hollands on weekend trips. They became Barb and Nance, always mentioned in the same breath and always together.

In middle school, when the other girls began to talk about boys, she didn’t understand what made them so interesting. They were still the same gross and nasty kids as before the summer. Instead, her mind wandered towards Nancy, how their hands happened to touch, how she could absorb her perfume during a hug, and how she wanted the same hug to last perhaps a little too long for normal friendship. In retrospect, Nancy was not the first girl she had felt this way about. But she was the first girl Barb realized others might not feel the same way, other girls don’t want to hug their best friend and never let go, other girls don’t want to kiss their female friends, other girls don’t dream of Lynda Carter and Olivia Newton-John, other girls fantasize about John Travolta or Tom Cruise.

Nancy was also her first kiss. It was not only a kiss on the cheek as some girl friends do for goodbyes, it was a kiss directly on the mouth. For practice, for their first boyfriends, for their real first kiss. At least that’s what Nancy said. For Barb, it was everything she wanted her first kiss to be. Nancy’s hair tickling on her face, her hands shoving them away and her fingertips stroking Nancy’s jaw, the warm and giddy feeling in her stomach, and in the end, the slight disappointment when Nancy withdraw herself. 

They continued their practice at each sleepover and her disappointment increased every time she couldn’t say that this right here was exactly what she wanted, that Nancy was who she wanted and not some stupid boy in some stupid sports jacket. As Nancy started to mention Steve constantly all the time, her disappointment grew into hurt and slowly into disillusionment. The worst part of it was she couldn’t even tell anyone how her heart was aching to confess her feelings to Nancy, how tedious it was to hear the name Steve in every second sentence, and how painful to see the two of them together. Not that Nancy would notice anyway, she was too caught up in Steve, his cool friends, and seemingly parties like these. But this wasn’t who Nancy is, or was, Barb supposed. This wasn’t the girl that defended her against all the ones who made fun of her glasses in middle school, this wasn’t the girl she’d talked endless hours about their dreams and how they don’t want to end up as mothers in the suburbs, this wasn’t the girl Barb fell in love with. But deep down, her Nancy must still be there, and what if she’d notice any moment and she’d come out and then no one would be there for her? She cannot leave her alone at Steve’s, she’d wait for her, drive her home, be the best friend Nancy saw her as, and continue to get her heart shattered into pieces and Nancy would become her first heartbreak.

[ronanceisintheair]

Day 3 of Femslash February is here!! I'm so proud of myself tbh. A little late but it's up🥹

Back to the ronance roots.

Day Three Prompt: Late Night Confession

[narcissasdaffodil]

Summary: When Marisol realises she has a crush on her best friend Lottie, she pushes it down. She couldn’t possibly like her best friend like that and there’s no way Lottie likes her back. But what if that’s not true?

I’m back for another round of Femslash February! This time I’m using multiple different prompt lists, and choosing the prompt for each day. This one is Marilottie plus vampire cats, and pretty short. This one is for the prompt Firsts by @disorientedrabbit

Tag list: @ariendiel @bypine @starsarestars @alyburrito @rebelrayne

[poorlittleyaoyao]

top 5 widely accepted fanon you have beef with, go

OH MAN. My dash is curated like a well-funded museum so I am blissfully sheltered from nonsense. However, based on hearsay and in no particular order...

Literally anything about Mo Xuanyu. My primary frame of reference is CQL (a disclaimer I feel obliged to put on any meta posts, this one included!), which says next to nothing about MXY. I genuinely thought, based on what I'd seen in fandom, that Novel MXY was canonically a petite uwu soft goth boi who'd been part of the Jinlintai Demonic Cultivation Research Department until JGY falsely accused him of harassment and expelled him as part of his Evil Keikaku(TM). And like... that's all possible, and fully workable within the canon framework, but it's not indisputably textual. It's a shame, because I'd find all of these fanons compelling if they weren't repeated as fact!

Mean Lesbian Wen Qing. As with the above, this is fully workable within canon, and I fully sympathize with being a queer woman who wants to see other queer women in fiction. This is even hypocritical of me, perhaps, given how I am so deep in the weeds with the fanons of Lesbian Margaery Tyrell and Lesbian Johanna Mason (for the books, not the adaptations) that I genuinely forget that this isn't canon. But Johanna and Margaery both have meaningful (and quite charged imo!) on-page interactions with other women outside their families in their source material. Wen Qing doesn't, because this canon is deeply disinterested in what its female characters are up to. Lesbian Wen Qing feels less like desperately latching onto queer subtexts and more like a convenient way to remove her from the male characters and/or dunk on Jiang Cheng. If there were an abundance of Wen Qing femslash to accompany this fanon, I'd fell differently, but as it stands... nah, son.

Mean Hypermasculine Dom Nie Mingjue. Maybe it's different in the novel (though based on my understanding of Novel Da-Ge, why would you bother?), but in CQL? Where he feels his emotions up to 11 and cries about all of them? Where his memories of Meng Yao in Nightless City feature an assertive Meng Yao with flawless contouring, on-point eye makeup, and a level of manhandling and verbal degradation that is not at all present in the original version of this scene? The sensitive man with comically horny memories of being captured by his ex gets off on being a macho seme caricature? lololol okay.

Jin Guangyao and Nie Huaisang, Diabolical Murderous Supergeniuses. Canon is quite clear that neither of these men are the brilliant chessmasters fanon makes of them. Jin Guangyao plans meticulously, but he's far from ruthless; as others have pointed out, Jin Guangyao preserves a whole slew of people it would've been more practical to kill, with results that lead directly to his downfall. Nie Huaisang is ruthless, but he doesn't plan for shit; his strengths are his swift reaction time and his ability to hold a grudge, because it is straight-up not possible for Nie Huaisang to anticipate all of the events after the timeskip. They're both forces to be reckoned with, but they both get too much credit as schemers.

Wei Wuxian is basically A-Yuan's dad. This might not even count as a fanon, but 1.) I cannot STAND the tendency for fandoms to impose nuclear family roles onto character dynamics, and 2.) Wei Wuxian knew A-Yuan for like 1.5 years when A-Yuan was a toddler and wasn't even his primary caregiver. Do you think of your preschool or kindergarten teachers--who spent more time with you per day than Wei Wuxian spent with A-Yuan--as your long-lost parents? PROBABLY NOT.

[mikaharuka]

Most Recent Releases!

Heyo y'all! It's been forever since I last posted about anything here on Tumblr, so... here I am, with a handful of links to my most recent fics! There are a couple of different fandoms (Twilight/Life and Death, FE3H, Madoka Magica, and Ace Attorney) and a couple of different ships (slash and femslash alike), but I had fun writing them all!

(Side note - the final fic on this list, Seduction of the Phoenix Bride just revealed today for the Mitsunaru Day 2024 Exchange!)

[Also, tagging just to remind y'all that I'm still on this weird site XD - @udaberriwrites @mrsmungus @sliebman10 @tsunderesalty @axolotlsupremacyowo @fattybattysblog @bleepbloopbotz @narcissasdaffodil @oceangirl24 @danceswithdarkspawn @hylianjo @lena-hills @bees-and-sunshine @kayedium-writes @aleksandriel @0nelittlebirdtoldme @sergeantneko @four-white-trees @precambrian-sea-pancake @evelinessa @argyleheir alongside many others!]

Danza de las Flores || Twilight, Life and Death Mature || 1500 words || Carine Cullen/Bella Swan (F/F)

Bella swings by Edythe's house to get some help with dancing, only to run into her long-time crush and Edythe's older sister, Carine. Fortunately for her, Carine is very willing to help her out. [Inspired by my musings on a swapped version of my Verse!]

Semper Felidae || Twilight, Life and Death Mature || 3000 words || Carlisle Cullen/Beau Swan (M/M)

From the fall of his beloved Adrian to the return of the curious and all-too-familiar Beauregard, Carlisle and his feline companion, Orion, have borne witness to it all. [A prelude to Apricity from Carlisle's POV, set in my overarching Winter Light Verse]

Febris Amatoria || Twilight, Life and Death Explicit || 1800 words (so far) || Carlisle Cullen/Beau Swan (M/M)

The evolution of Beau's and Carlisle's relationship and intimacy over time, captured through a series of erotic moments set in the Winter Light Verse. [Side note, I finally released chapter 3]

The Sun, Moon, and Stars || Twilight, Life and Death Mature || 900 words || Carine Cullen/Edythe Cullen (F/F)

To Edythe Masen, Doctor Carine Cullen was everything- her sun, her moon, and her stars.

In Draconic Harmony || Fire Emblem Three Houses (FE3H) Mature || 900 words || Dorothea Arnault/Edelgard von Hresvelg (F/F)

After spotting her two advisors sharing a quiet moment together, Edelgard decides to sneak away for an intimate moment of her own.

The Die is Cast || Puella Magi Madoka Magica Mature || 900 words || Akemi Homura/Kaname Madoka (F/F)

The stage, home to Homura's arduous journey, has seen many tragic curtain calls, until an unexpected element enters stage right.

Ruthless Seduction || Ace Attorney (Gyakuten Saiban) Explicit || 1500 words || Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright (M/M)

Miles Edgeworth, prosecutor and magic user, is working a late night at the office when his vampiric partner, Phoenix Wright, decides to swings by. Phoenix is determined to make his partner take a break from his work... except it comes around to bite him in a rather pleasurable way and both of them enjoy the outcome.

Seduction of the Phoenix Bride || Ace Attorney (Gyakuten Saiban) Explicit || 7600 words || Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright (M/M)

After receiving a strange black invitation in the mail one day, Phoenix and Maya take the plunge and meet their client, Lady Franziska von Karma, who asks them to deliver some important paperwork to her brother, Lord Miles Edgeworth. When they arrive at his manor, Phoenix is faced with an overwhelming rush of new, yet strangely familiar sensations and memories, along with some odd circumstances and fantastical dreams as he slowly unravels the mystery.

[dotcomgirrrl]

some things i still dont fucking get:

cursing is just as rampant in heaven as it is in hell??

whats the difference between human souls and people born in heaven/hell (this is the biggest one imo)

do people have kids in the afterlife or is it coincidental?? if they have kids in the afterlife and in mortal life do they have any connection or memories? how do mortal connections in general translate to afterlife

why isnt husk a gambling dog. this is just me hating the design choices

viv couldnt be assed to put in more effort or show us more of charlie and vaggies relationship

ADAM??? what authority does he have. why did he call alastor a mortal soul but he was earlier referred to as "the first human soul in heaven"

alastor in general. good god its a mess.

vaggie should have been way more ruthless about killing sinners. would have been loads more interesting to have been stuck in hell due to lute sabotaging her out of jealousy and having to be stealth. this is the femslash equivalent of unseasoned chicken.

why is lucifer blonde

why did their designs get way more cunty and interesting in the final ep

jesus cameo when

designs in heaven and hell are pretty much the same other than color

[tallysgreatestfan]

Tag game for fanfiction authors !

Tagged by @riotbrrrd

The story you're proudest of: 

"Sins Unexplored", this longfic about Entrapta and Hordaks developing relationship and how their disabilities and trauma affect that.

Not just is it fairly long for my standards and I wrote longer than a year on it, I also put so much of myself and my own experiences in it, and, and that sounds pretentious about a fic, but these are such important topics, ableism and disability and queerness and how that affects someone. I even got feedback from people feeling seen in it!

Your story that's gotten the most love online:

Again "Sins Unexplored", absolutely justified.

Tease a current WIP or idea you're working on: 

Oh god I have so many Uglies fics in my folders to publish somewhen after the movie came out and the fandom resurrected, most of them about Tally/Shay post-canon, shortly after Extras, and how their trauma and neurodivergence and body image issues affect their relationships (see a pattern?)

Your top 3 fandoms:

Babylon 5 - Because this fandom is like the toxic ex I just can't get rid off

She-Ra - Because this was, despite how incredibly toxic the fandom and how... badly executed some parts of the series were, the first time I not just saw someone like me in mainstream media, but relationships like mine, between two disabled queer people

Star Trek Discovery - First femslash ship I ever had! But then the series did a 180° and I didn't even finish it, and by now I write much more Locked Tomb or Uglies

Your top 3 ships:

Delenn/Lennier (Babylon 5)- Just the femdom and how this is both messy and complicated and badly communicated but also so deep and loving. Ruthless but wise high priestess turned politician/younger, naive monk who is her assistant. Not healthy, but fun, and wow are they both pretty.

Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra) - They're mad scientists. They are also deeply traumatized and lonely disabled people bonding over being different. Also femdom. And a really sexy monster boy design, and Entrapta is hot too.

Katrina Cornwell/L'Rell - An alien torturer and an human admiral, meeting as enemies, but coming to respect each other. Both women. The have exactly two (2) scenes together, but wow is their chemistry intense.

Rec someone else's fic:

Don't really read that much fic right now, so this is a bit difficult. The last really good one I read was:

"A Star Chart In Rotation" by halcyonine, which shows the tender beginnings of the doomed relationship of Teixcalaan Emporer Six Direction, future Empress Nineteen Adze and Lsel ambassador Yskandr Aghavn from "A Memory Called Empire". It is just so bittersweet, and gets the dynamic and worldbuilding so right.

Pick one!

Fluff or Angst (Fluff is nice sometimes too, but I love how deeply Angst can go into how a character works)

Oneshots or longfics (Both for writing and reading, because while longfics are amazing, I just don't have the energy for them most of the time)

Canon compliance or canon divergence (If I would want canon, I would watch or read the media. Also canon divergence just has so much more possibilities)

AO3 or FF.net (Not just the better functionality, the culture there feels much more open and welcoming, and also smut is allowed)

tagging @a-certain-elf and @entrapdaknation if you want

[torturedpoetskywalker]

Femslash February 2023

"I feel like we can be great together!" Shuri notices what she just said, the true meaning behind it, so she tries to reform the phrase. "As work partners, of course." - Shuri/Riri Williams

wc: 231 | ao3 | femslash february: day 24 | fluffuary (@fluffbruary): day 14, idea | femslash february prompts (@disorientedrabbit): 003, late night confessions. 024, I wanna ruin our friendship | fandom: mcu - black panther | rating: general

[reesesfastbreak]

001. Firsts

Hey, so I’m using Femslash February to venture into new fandoms. This is my first time writing any of these characters and I have been terrified of writing Nancy Wheeler for a long, long time. Pre-canon seemed like the best place to start.

Fandom: Stranger Things

Pairing: Nancy Wheeler/Barb Holland

“This is just practice, Nance. Relax, it’s okay. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Why does a part of Nancy want it to?

Nancy regrets suggesting it the moment after it comes out of her mouth, but neither her nor Barb have been kissed by a boy or kissed a boy. Logically it made sense for them to kiss each other. It did, but Barb’s looking at her with a raised eyebrow, that familiar knowing look that makes Nancy feel as if her best friend sees right through her— knows more than maybe Nancy knows herself. It’s always a bit unsettling, but it’s good to be known.

Barb’s silence feels loud and becomes uncomfortable. Nancy’s jaw sets visibly, her face not showing how she feels like she may have made this awkward beyond a point of return. Her face not showing that she worries that she put untrue ideas in Barb’s head.

And they are untrue. She’s not doing this because she’s interested. Nancy thinks about the Reagan sign outside on their lawn, her father’s response anything about the epidemic comes on the tv or in the newspaper.

Barb’s silence and that look are both becoming unbearable. Nancy wants to take that look right off of Barb’s face. Nancy sighs hard, breaking the silence that she knows she caused, “Steve’s interested and I don’t want to him to think I don’t know anything about relationships,” A pause before she adds, “or intimacy.”

The statement does make that look on Barb’s face change, because she’s rolling her eyes now. Like the idea of Steve Harrington being with Nancy is the worse thing that she can think of. “I’m sure that’s part of the appeal for him—but okay.”

“Okay?” Nancy hopes that doesn’t sound as hopeful to Barb as her own voice sounded to herself.

Barb nods, “Okay.” She pats the spot on the bed (Nancy’s bed) beside her. “Come here.”

Nancy, who was at the foot of the bed as she did homework, sets her things fully aside and joins Barb up at the head of her bed.

They both stare at each other for more than a moment— almost like neither know how to proceed and Nancy hates that because she suggested it, she should be taking initiative. It’s Barb who does though, bringing her hands to cup Nancy’s cheeks softly and leaning in— pressing her lips to Nancy’s just as gentle.

It’s barely a kiss, but Barb pulls back anyway. Her eyes searching Nancy’s face as if to see that it’s okay she did that at all. Like she’s trying to see if Nancy had changed her mind and it wasn’t okay, if Nancy was angry or disgusted.

Nancy’s not. She smiles at Barb almost shyly before going in again, and this— this is a real kiss.

Nancy always expected her first real kiss to be awkward, never convinced it was like the movies. This kiss is awkward, but not in a bad way— they both just don’t quite know what they are doing. Not yet.

Once they do though, Nancy feels a warmth in her chest and a fluttering she did not expect at all when she suggested she and Barb be each other’s first kiss to just get it over with.

And she panics. Pulling back from Barb so quickly that she about falls off her bed. Barb’s soon got her by the arm so she doesn’t and Nancy’s heart feels like it’s going to pound out of her chest.

Barb’s face is soft, not reading pity but comfort. Her voice is also soft in an attempt to reassure, “This is just practice, Nance. Relax, it’s okay. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Barb’s right, and Nancy relaxes a bit. However the thought rings in her head, why does part of me want it to?

“So I have flash cards. Would you want to go over them for a bit? I’ll quiz you first.”

Nancy nods, settling back on the bed beside Barb and looking at the ceiling, “Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.”

Everything feels normal again and Nancy plans to gloss over whatever that feeling was and this moment entirely. It’ll be something for them to laugh at someday.

Everything is normal again, but Barb holds her hand the whole time she quizzes her anyway.

[nimuetheseawitch]

ship game! hangster and jennifer/larrin!

Ooooh, you know me well. Thanks for giving me more excuses to talk about these ships.

Hangster

1. What made you ship it?

Reading fanfic. Did not ship it at first (and Macheresin still has my heart), but the fandom got me. I blame you for getting me into this fandom. But even when I didn't ship it, I still thought their whole dynamic was pretty gay. I mean, come on, Slow Ride is a song about sex.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

When they're *both* assholes. And idiots. And an absolute hot mess. Preferably exes. Love it when they're divorced. They're ridiculously hot and they know how to get under each other's skin, but Bradley has too much trauma and has not gone to enough therapy. Also, I love a man in a Hawaiian shirt and a mustache, what can I say?

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Bradley is an asshole. The fandom seems to be split on this, but he has a temper and says the meanest things and cut Mav out of his life for over a decade. He's an asshole.

Jennifer/Larrin

1. What made you ship it?

I had just rewatched Firefly and was thinking about Stargate and of course was thinking about Kaylee and Jennifer and what they did or did not have in common, and then I thought about some of that Kaylee mechanic energy being turned on a Wraith ship, and then I tripped and fell into the idea of Larrin kidnapping Jennifer and Jennifer having to save the day by doing surgery on a Wraith ship and then Larrin just being very into her competence. Shep Shep encouraged me, I wanted some femslash practice, and a ship was built.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Competence. I think both characters are a little underutilized (and often were used as pretty objects to prop up male characters) but the good characterization we do get of each of them shows them being incredibly competent, even if Jennifer lacks confidence at first and Larrin is a bit ruthless. But they both obviously appreciate competence and have to be good at what they do, so it is right that they appreciate it in each other. Also, they both look great when they smile with confidence.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

No. Because I am the Captain of this ship. I am the only one writing fic so far, and everyone has been very supportive. I guess, technically, the entire ship could be considered an unpopular opinion. But I just doubled the fic count on ao3 (bringing it up to a whopping 2), so...

[ronanceisintheair]

Here's my day 1 of Femslash February. Honestly the pieces aligned and came together better than I though!

So have at it I guess.

Prompt: Firsts

[narcissasdaffodil]

Summary: As Marisol’s magic repairs, she grows cat ears and a cat tail, and she starts to remember more of her past with Lottie’s help. She also goes outside for the first time since she discovered her vampire cat identity.

Another Marilottie plus vampire cats thing for Femslash February. This is for the prompt Kissing in the Rain by @disorientedrabbit

Tag list: @ariendiel @bypine @starsarestars @cranesandshipyards @rebelrayne

[spicywhumper]

@febuwhump 2024: day 07. suffering in silence + @femslash-february bingo 2024: knives

series: crimson history (phase: coven kid) | rating: teen and up audiences | word count: 1,066

content warning: blood, stab wounds, implied past child abuse, and scars.

Peyton tries her best to not stress herself too much.

it's impossible, really. even if the mission is supposed to be simple, just observation and with clear orders to not engage. the people being spied are dangerous, considering they're in the market of stealing magical goods. Patricia sent her best apprentice and her best unofficial apprentice. only if Leon wasn't her best friend and Jay wasn't her girlfriend. but they were good, seemed to work together nicely enough, and they needed Leon paired up with someone willing to get bloody knuckles because he's soft like that.

they don't talk about Jay's combat training, but Peyton's aware that Patricia could and should use it to her advantage. it's not like you can find strong magicians trained in the ruthless ways of a coven soldier that aren't loyal to their coven.

Jay (who sometimes still didn't answer the name, but she's trying to get used to, better than being upset about being called Jessica, Jessie, or Jess. Peyton avoids thinking about why she'd be upset by her own name) had been suspicious. she frowned at Patricia as she was told what the older woman wanted. but nodded along, something like excitement in her eyes. she is a soldier, a fighter, and sparing is way less exciting than the idea of possible altercations with dangerous criminals.

dating her is extremely stressful.

Patricia is telling her it's a simple and safe mission, they'll be fine when the commotion hits them. she follows her mentor out of the small office adjacent to the medbay. Liam and Sage at helping a pale looking Jay into it, he catches her eyes and makes the most apologetic face she has ever seen. her girlfriend's sweating, Peyton recognizes the delirious look in her eyes, she has seen it before, and Jay doesn't make one sound of pain despite her appearance.

"what happened?" Patricia asks, healer mode on in the blink of an eye.

"they detected us, somehow," they detected Jay, probably. "she shielded me from their attack before banishing us to an alleyway nearby."

Peyton almost throws up as the pair put Jay on top of the closest bed, with a small grunt of effort since she's much, much heavier than you'd expect. (and you already expect her to be heavy with her pushing above 1,80 of more muscle than anything else).

she counts seven knives buried across her back, all to the hilt. Jay breathes slowly and shallowly, three of the knives where her lungs are. there's almost no blood to be seen, with the blades still in their respective wounds and keeping them from bleeding.

Sage leaves the room, Liam steps back and he looks so guilty. he doesn't look at Peyton, she knows him, he'll blame himself for Jay doing exactly what they expected her to do: keep him safe.

"Liam, leave. Peyton, come here, be professional," Patricia orders.

"O-ok."

"I'll do superficial healing, keep the bleeding under control, as you pull the knives."

her hands are shaking, she doesn't think about how it'll do more damage, Patricia is the superior healer for more reasons than decades of experience. the knife on her lower back is dangerously close to her spine, there's one that had to lacerate her liver. as she pulls out one of the three on her lungs area, she feels the bone.

Jay is silent, she doesn't react at all.

Patricia nods at her, comfort her as I heal her. Peyton watches her mentor pick up the scissors before the crouches, not wanting to see the injuries more clearly. not wanting to see the scars she's familiar with by now.

Jay's eyes are half-closed, she opens them a little bit more as she notices Peyton in front of her. she looks even more delirious, she should be trashing and screaming in Peyton's experience with patients. instead, she stays eerily still and breathing calmly, almost like she's sleeping. it's disturbing, not only seeing it, but thinking about whatever training she went through to be taught how to simply suffer in silence.

"how bad is it?" Jay mumbles. her teeth are stained with blood.

"could be worse, the knives kept you from bleeding out," Peyton reaches and caresses her hair. it has grown just a bit, Jay likes to keep it in a buzzcut. she says it's practical. "you'll probably need rest for weeks."

"I heal fast."

"you still need to take it slow," she smiles a bit when Jay closes her eyes, she's like a cat who enjoys head scratches. so Peyton gives her head scratches. "rest and let your body recover."

"I have duties."

"you have a mission here and there that Patricia sends you to," Jay always frowns a bit when she calls Patricia by her first name, instead of mentor Crawford like the other students, like Jay herself. "she won't send you again anytime soon."

"I sure won't," Patricia confirms, Peyton looks up to see she has prepped for stitches. "I need to stitch you up, I can heal most damage, but it's never good to heal everything. ok?"

"fine."

if Jay was a normal patient, Patricia would give her, at least, some numbing agent. but Jay didn't like any form of anesthesia and they've quickly learned that most potions and medicine didn't work well in a hybrid. all Patricia could give was a warning before sawing wounds shut.

Peyton doesn't like that aspect of healing. potions and spells are easy, cleaning blood is annoying but easy, she can deal with gaping wounds and with infected, death-smelling wounds. but treading a needle into skin makes her stomach turn for some reason.

she focuses on talking to Jay, soft voice and random words. she's goes on and on about her current project. since Jay has told them about her primary magic, Patricia has been worried and Peyton has been curious about Bloody Runes. Jay mumbles confirmations and adds a thing or two. they can have an actual conversation about it when Jay's not out of her mind from pain as Patricia closes the gashes on her back.

the pit on her stomach feeds rage on her ribcage, rage at whoever has taught Jay she shouldn't react to pain. she'd rather have to restrain someone than to watch them suffer without a noise.

dating Jay is really, really stressful (and she doesn't regret any of it).

[madtomedgar]

Would you ever genderbend Garak DS9, and if so, how would that go? If you wouldn't, just tell me some of your favorite things or headcanons about him!

oooooooooh ok so i am actually watching a kdrama right now with @lilac-buttons where the main character is a woman who gets the Garak treatment (it's called Alchemy of Souls, very very fun, but sadly not much femslash potential).

So the answer is, yes I would love for more female characters to get that story line of like. Villain forced into early retirement. Where they had previously been a ruthless and powerful figure and now they are stuck in bumfuck behind enemy lines, washed up, maybe in hiding, running a very boring shop, mad about it, and gay.

The thing with Garak is that because it's a sci-fi setting, you just change the character's gender and nothing else. I would also change Bashir's gender, to keep it gay. You could have the shop be something besides clothes and replace the queenery but I don't think I would here, because the line "oh just something I overheard while hemming someone's pants" is too good. It would make the Dukat hatred even better.

Also, it opens up an avenue for some very crunchy sexual tension with Major Kira, who in this would by the butch lesbian she always should have been. Like...you would have older queen femme Garak acting protective of her around Dukat, Kira picking fights with her, which is how Cardassians flirt, and Garak being like "well mark me down as scared AND horny" in every scene where Kira is doing violence, especially the ethically dubious kind. And then they wind up co-parenting Ziyal. Damn we were robbed. It would be the kind of thing where I wouldn't want it to go anywhere in the show, except maybe a Xanthy fever episode (a Betazoid disease where they project their emotions onto others, reverse telepathy, you now feel what they're feeling. The character who has this condition is on the prowl when it hits, and everyone winds up in a comedy where they suddenly HAVE to fling themselves at anyone they had a repressed crush on). But I would "ship" them in the sense of "I need there to be a healthy fanwork ecosystem churning out lots of hot hate-sex, fake-dating, there-was-only-one-bed etc scenarios for them. Bashir can come too but that's a "this does can and should happen in the show" kind of ship, which is different, you know.