#ruslana has a LOT

[oneirataxia-girl]

Ruslana Yang + 🥀

⇝ I'll be splitting this into two aus: one where she dies in narnia, and one where she dies in the real world

if she dies in narnia as Queen Regent Ruslana, Duchess of Lantern Waste, Countess of the Western March, Knight of the Nobel Order of the Table and Ruslana the White Sun (holy moly that is a mouthful amirite), she would be mourned by all narnians and would have a memorial erected for her near the spot she was buried, perhaps something like a gazebo supported by pillars made to imitate ice that redirects sunlight into thousands of little rainbows, where narnians can sit and rest and reminisce about the Lady that was a beacon of light to all of them, and point out the lantern that started it all, barely a few steps away from the grave/memorial. If the Pevensies were there though, Edmund would practically live there from then on, followed by perhaps Eustace? if he's there too

if she dies in this world as Ruslana Yang, Subject 21, well she wouldn't have a grave, to be perfectly frank. Ruslana would be quickly disposed of and became a warning to all the other children: do not disobey, or meet the same fate as 201. The Pevensies wouldn't even know she died.

However, years later, Subject 3207, later known as Wren Bulan, would find a way to contact the descendants of one Susan Pevensie, who were looking for a person or grave named Ruslana Yang to pay their respects...

send me one of my ocs + 🥀 and I’ll tell you who in their fandom would stay at their grave the longest!

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

LOSING MY MIND RN

[dorthes]

Chiara: Gen-Z lesbian icon we were waiting for

(This is a translation of Chiara: el referente lésbico Gen Z que estábamos esperando and some comments of mine)

Chiara Oliver Williams is one of the 16 contestants from the reality-talent show more successful of Spain: Operación Triunfo. She's 19 years old, she likes Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, Alanis Morissette, Stevie Wonder, Mariah Carey, Fleetwood Mac and Rosalía. She speaks four languages fluently, she plays the piano, the bass and the guitar, she's a composer, she's half English, half Spanish, and, without doubt, one of the most promising artists on the Spanish music industry. But we're going to focus on yet another aspect of her personality, last but no least: she's an out and proud lesbian.

"I'm Chiara, I like Christmas, girls, I'm a bit crazy and that's it." That's how she defined herself at the beginning of December (when the contest had barely started) when Ruslana, one of her housemates (bisexual wink) asked her to talk about her. And boy, was she right, because during the following weeks she has shown us that, if there's something crucial about her life and personality is, besides music and her talent, her lesbianism.

Let's start from the beginning. Chiara was one of the candidates that caught the most attention during the casting stage (in which 13 thousand contestants tried their luck) for her special voice, her artistic personality and her technical skills.

As early as the first week of the contest we know she's a raging homosexual when another one of her housemates, Violeta (also bisexual wink) asked her why several of her compositions are dedicated to boys (even though she would later explain they're not romantic songs) when she's "the most lesbian from all lesbians of Spain." However, her "official" coming out came later thanks to the LGBT talk scheduled in the show.

"Straight-passing", invisibility and lesbian pride

During that talk, Chiara spoke to talk about one of the problems femme lesbians often face: being pretty and femenine, and so, nobody expects they're lesbians.

And that's just what Chiara explained. It took her a while to understand not just to understand her lesbianism, but assume it, because how are you going to be a lesbian if you're not masculine and have grown up in a society which denies you like girls if you're pretty and femenine? Like, if boys like you and you check every box they look for, how could you not like them?

Basically, she talked abour her experience. "I've always been very feminine Society tells you lesbians are masculine, gays and affeminate, so I didn't realise until later because I told myself "I'm not masculine, so it's phisically impossible." But that's not the truth."

Chiara has what is known as straight-passing, that is, nobody thinks she's a lesbian at first glance, and nobody is going to think so if she doesn't say it. And that's a "privilege" and more so in a TV contest. But she decided not to "use" that "privilege" and she says every single day she's a lesbian. And, of course, she has "paid" the price, but we will talk about that later. All that matters is that Chiara's not only openly a lesbian, she has said it whenever possible, has coined "Go lesbians" as a personal brand alongside Bea, another housemate and a lesbian too and she says the word "lesbian" without any kind of taboo.

Lesbian is a word so charged with prejudice that a lot of lesbians refuse to use it and prefer some "euphemisms" like gay. So it is to be welcomed that a 19-year old Menorcan says it in one of the most successful TV shows in Spain (and with some repercussion in Latin America). With all its letters, with pride.

Chiara is a lesbian. And she also has all lesbian culture in her mind. She's a fan of Glee (particularly of Santana and Brittany), her favourite character from Grey's Anatomy is Arizona Robbins and she didn't like Bridgerton for being too straight. She loves Cate Blanchett, Sarah Paulson and Paula Usero. I Kissed a girl is a hymn in her life (and she sang it in the contest and finished it with a kiss with Violeta) and has covered Mujer contra mujer thousands of times.

She, self proclaimed "Spanish lesbian Olivia Rodrigo", also has various romantic songs aimed to girls and many of them composed during the contest (rumours say some of them are dedicated to one of her girl friends in the contest).

Ships

Of course people is going to ship her with her housemates. In fact, a bisexual boy, Paul, confessed his feelings for her knowing it was impossible, which he told her, and people suspect possible relationships with her mentioned before housemates Violeta and Ruslana. It's true they're all very good friends, but Violeta has a girlfriend already and Ruslana is dating another housemate. I (the translator) personally think this is not relevant but, to whoever may care, you can search Wartanera on YouTube.

Misogyny, lesbophobia and ableism

Well, obviously not everything could be rosy. This is the 21st century and Spain can be one of the most advanced countries on LGBTQ+ and women's rights, but lesbophobia still exists. Chiara started the contest as one of the favourite contestant to win, but for the lat month she has received a hate wave from a good chunk of the audience because, well, she's an easy target.

Reality shows audience look for people to hate, and nothing is easier than a lesbian girl with ADHD. Chiara faces double discrimination for her sexual orientation and for being neurodivergent. And the consequence is that she could leave the show this week.

How to save Chiara

If you have read all of this, if you like how she sings, what she means to us, please help us save her and stay in the contest, not only for Chiara, but all Chiara represents.

You can watch all of her performances on the official Operación Triunfo Channel (and clips of Chiara in general)

You can see what she has done in the Academy through Twitter and Tiktok searching for Chiara OT or the words "Kivi" and "Ruski" (her ships).

You can listen to the songs she has covered in the contest and follow her on Spotify where she will publish her own songs outside the contest

But the most important thing is to vote for free in the official Operación Triunfo App once a day until Monday 5th February. It's fast and easy. If you are from Latin America or Spain you can download the app for free. If not, you can download it from here. Follow the instructions below to vote. It's very easy. Save the lesbians, go lesbians

[hadesisqueer]

i don’t even know anything about operacion triunfo or whatever but what you’re talking about seems really stupid

Why are they holding whoever chiara to a higher standard

I hope she wins even though I don’t know her

It's not just Chiara they're holding to higher standards; it's basically all the women. It's been like this every edition I've watched; the women have to sing perfectly and they have to know how to dance and they have to be able to sing perfectly while they dance perfectly AND they can't complain about anything btw. Meanwhile, the men? The standard is holding the tune (optional) and maybe if they feel demanding, also asking you to do a choreography of three steps (it doesn't matter if you fuck up). Like, last week, Juanjo did horribly with his song 'Miénteme' and his choreography and he wasn't nominated; instead, he was praised for doing such a difficult challenge for him (dancing a little bit while he sings). Meanwhile, Ruslana —who's been doing songs with dances the entire contest— performed Miamor, which had a much more complicated choreo-- she was nominated for not being able to hold the tune in maybe three phrases of the song. Another example? Bea being nominated three times over some of her male counterparts. Another example? Denna being nominated in Gala 2 even though Álvaro did worse than her, and then nominated again in Gala 3 even though she did well. Another one? Violeta being nominated in Gala 6 for-- absolutely no reason, and yet the one being saved for evolution was Álvaro, not her, when the day before they said she had the most evolution. Another one? Chiara being also nominated in Gala 6 but not Paul even though he did worse than her. Another one? Chiara being nominated this week-- for absolutely no reason except that they had to nominate someone, said by the judges themselves (and then the judges looked upset at the teachers for saving Paul instead of her because they made it clear that she didn't deserve the nomination).

And then there's also the hate campaigns. Like I'm serious, the waves of hate literally every woman in this show has gotten is insane; I hadn't seen this level of sexism, lesbophobia, biphobia or ableism in any other edition. And mind you, telling you the truth because I like the guys but things are the way they are: the most toxic fandoms are Paul's, Álvaro's and Martin/Juanjo's (as much as they keep trying to say it's the Chiara/Violeta one, it's not true; none of us have made twitter spaces calling other contestants the r slur, or whores. The worst we've done is saying 'that person can't hold the tune'). Like, the way they make up narratives is unbelievable: they cut clips and post them out of context trying to make the girls look bad and get viral and suddenly everyone starts hating the person. Paul's fandom was the one that started hating on Salma MASSIVELY —and Naiara, though now they say they adore her; let's see next week—, yet it's the Violeta/Chiara fandom the one who gets blamed for the hate she got. They kept saying they bullied Paul, and for some reason dragged Violeta into the narrative saying "Violeta and her group" even though Violeta literally never did or said anything wrong. Then they kept trying to cancel Violeta saying she cheated on her gf with Salma —which, shocker, it turned out not to be true— and the softest thing they said about her is saying she was a slut; they kept saying everyone in that house hated her, too, that she couldn't sing, that she was a bitch and manipulative-- then they started hating on Chiara as well for absolutely no reason at all as well, to the point that when people vote for Lucas they're not doing it to save him; it's to kick her out because according to them her behaviour is awful (her behaviour: rehearsing a lot, eating yogurt, being funny, writing bops, saying she missed Violeta, randomly doing a somersault and hanging out with the other contestants who literally all adore her). Like, they literally say it's to kick her out, most of them don't actually care about Lucas at all, and it's even sad to think about. Oh, and how could I forget the last person in the hate train? Ruslana, who maybe three weeks ago was supposedly adored by every fandom and literally seen as the winner by nearly everyone —just like Violeta was at the beginning of the edition, just like Chiara was also well liked as well— is now hated by nearly everyone and the winner position has been taken from her and everyone is saying that she's an egomaniac and a brat for *checks* feeling pressured and also not letting the show turn her into a product by making it clear that she's not a pop girl, her genre is rock. Oh, and now they all say she's bullying Paul too with out of context clips, too. Oh, and they say that Chiara is the reason they hate her because she's a 'bad influence'. You gotta laugh.

To sum up: it's basically sexism. Both from the show and the fans. But honestly I don't even care anymore; if Chiara leaves, she has a strong fandom, just like Violeta did, and just like Ruslana will. They are the favorites of nearly every artist or influencer in the country along with Naiara, and the most followed ones. They have a future secured in the musical industry whether their haters like it or not. Let's see if Lucas and some of the others are even remembered at all in a few years; probably not, because unfortunely for them, it happens every edition. People hate on women, vote for the random guys to fuck over the women and then the guys are forgotten while the women are the still relevant ones after a few years.

[ameliathefatcat]

Parkwood headcanons

Penny first meet Skye when the Haywoods went to see a Wingtown Wanderers game. Skye was running around the stadium and ran into Penny

Neither of them remember this

Penny fangirled over school since their first flying lesson in first year

Skye didn’t really notice Penny. It’s nothing personal since Skye’s a Gryffindor and Penny a Hufflepuff

Skye struggles a lot with her lessons (she has some issues after nearly dying from dragon pox as a toddler) Penny o to tutor her

Skye was super grateful, she had to keep her grades up to stay on the quidditch team

During these tutoring sessions Skye and Penny got to know each other

Skye talked about her brush with death and that her mother passed away (she doesn’t like to talk about this) Penny talked about her own insecurities

Penny visited Skye all the time after getting injured.

Penny saw Skye’s soft side. She had to promise that she won’t tell anyone about this

Penny started to develop a crush on Skye towards the end of their third year.

Penny started to ✨Gay panic ✨ around Skye and it made tutoring hard

Skye didn’t notice this

Penny asked Skye out in their fourth year

Skye was too busy with quidditch and not failing her classes to date. So she said no

Penny was heartbroken and was an emotional mess for about a week

Amelia (mc) had to explain to Penny that Skye was super busy and didn’t have the time or energy to date

That year Penny found Skye feverish and half a sleep in the library.

Penny tried to convince Skye to go to the Hospital Wing

Skye feel asleep on Penny’s shoulder and Penny carried her to the hospital wing

Skye has fallen asleep on Penny’s shoulder serval times before that officially started to date

Half way through their fifth year they officially started to date

They off and on dating though out there time at Hogwarts

After one Gryffindor Quidditch Party Penny got drunk for the first time and was extremely hungover. Skye helped her though that hangover

There was a lot of drama In Hufflepuff girls dorm. Penny dating a Gryffindor chaser and Tonks dating the Ravenclaw seeker

PDA overload

Often made out under the Quidditch stands

Skye helped Penny though all of the trama

After graduation they took a break from dating so Penny could focus on being a potions master for St Mungo’s

Shortly before the war started Penny and Skye started to date seriously

Skye moved into Penny’s small flat

They attended Ben and Amelia’s wedding together

The two joined the Order of the Phoenix

They both fought in the Battle of Hogwarts

Penny took care of the injured and Skye was on of those to ride into battle on broomstick

Skye seriously injured her knee during the battle

Penny took care of Skye as her knee healed

Skye proposed to Penny in 2004

They got married in 2006

Both wanted kids. They looked into IVF but won’t eligible due to the dark magic they were exposed too

They turned to adoption, Ben and Amelia having several adopted kids helped them through the process

 Around 2012 they got approved to adopt two kids either nationally or internationally

Penny heard about a set of possible magic twins in Ukraine

After seeing the pictures of the twins both Penny and Skye knew that they were their daughters

In early 2013 they travel to Ukraine to adopt their daughters.

Dawn Nadiya Parkin-Haywood and Nephele ‘Ellie’ Ruslana Parkin-Haywood officially became Skye and Penny’s daughter on February Eighth 2013

The twins were very sickly, at nearly five years old they were size of small toddlers and could barely eat or walk on their own or speak

When they got home to the UK Dawn was diagnosed with heart condition and both girls were particularly deaf

Penny and Skye didn’t give up on their girls. The girls made great progress and by their adoption anniversary they were running around and knew about 20 words

Skye is Mummy/Mum and Penny is Mama

Ellie was diagnosed with Type one diabetes at age seven

Penny took great care of the twins many health issues and wanted to wrap them in bubble wrap at times

Skye taught them quidditch and told them that they could be anything they wanted 

Penny freaked out seeing the twins on brooms. Skye told her to take a chill pill

Both Skye and Penny cried when the twins started Hogwarts in 2019

Both Dawn and Ellie are Hufflepuffs like Mama and chasers like Mum

Skye is little spoon and Penny is big spoon

But if Penny needs to be little spoon Skye let’s her

Penny is the more emotional parent

Skye still dyes her hair bright colors (as well as brown to hide the grays)

Skye and Penny always make sure to have date nights at least once a month. When their daughters were little they would go to either Uncle Orion or Uncle Murphy for the night

Push for more LBGTQ acceptation and rights in the wizarding world

Penny often had to stop Skye from beating up homophobes

Skye and Penny are the twins #1 fans and are super embarrassing

[eurovision-revisited]

Eurovision 2005 - Number 39 - Javine - "Touch My Fire"

Javine Hylton is the woman who was almost in Girls Aloud. She took part in the 2002 TV talent show that put the group together, Popstars: The Rivals. She came sixth. The last singer eliminated before the group was formed. Given the subsequent mega-success of the group, that's gotta sting.

Nevertheless, the music industry immediately took to Javine. She was signed as a solo artist and had a string of four UK top 20 hits in the two years after the competition. She had name recognition, she was young, could dance, looked great and most importantly she could sing well. Getting her to be a potential candidate for Eurovision at this stage was almost beyond the BBCs wildest dreams.

She went straight into the line-up of Making Your Mind Up 2005 as the clear favourite. The song she was given was Touch My Fire, written by industry stalwart John Themis, a man who had written and performed on many songs notably with Culture Club and Boy George. He's also written for former Spice Girl Emma Bunton and Kylie Minogue giving them big hits. This was a serious effort to get the UK to the top of the scoreboard.

It's clearly a song that has been paying close attention to the last two years' winners. It's almost the Platonic ideal of a girl bop, with eastern strings recalling Sertab and Ruslana. The dancing is vigorous and sexy. Javine wants you to know exactly how hot she is. There is very little doubt she's absolutely smouldering.

It almost swept the national final with its regional televoting contrivance, save for the Scottish region which preferred Katie Price. Javine was on the plane to Kyiv with the re-ignited hopes of a nation on her shoulders. But there was a problem. The song itself.

There were questions about whether it was trying too hard to fit the pattern established in the previous two years. That it was not only a copy of them, but that it wasn't as good in comparison. And it wasn't authentically British was it? That eastern touch was the dead giveaway - it was a rip-off, meta-chasing written for an unimaginative music industry for one of their own. Almost cultural appropriation by a colonial power.

Whether you think that or not, it was not favoured. It was also drawn second in the running order. The death-slot did not inspire confidence. Those doubts and fears came to pass on the night as it got only 18 points and finished twenty-second of the twenty-four songs, leading to outrage in the tabloid press and the kindling of Terry Wogan's terminal disillusionment with Eurovision. Javine was the woman who deserved more and here she was being served with a whole lot less despite the best efforts of everyone involved.

It killed her career almost stone dead. The only thing that Javine was famous for after this was having an affair with MC Harvey, then married to the nation's sweetheart Alesha Dixon. There was one more single six years later which flopped and nothing else.

More than any other act, Javine and Touch My Fire is the one that pushed the UK into the 'Europe Hates Us' mindset when it comes to Eurovision - an attitude it's taken nearly twenty years to come close to shaking off. This is also the song that cemented the belief the music industry attitude to Eurovision that performing there was career suicide for anyone. Javine was rock-hard evidence that Eurovision was only for the desperate.

The thing that disappoints me most about the reception for Touch My Fire was the opinion that it wasn't British. This song is absolutely representative of Britain - it's just not what others think of as British. This is the song that shows that to be successful in Eurovision, you have to fit the popular image of your country and not be what your country actually is. Going against this can occasionally be successful (i.e. Athena in 2003), but generally there's a tourist-like reaction against anything unexpected and different.

Be warned. Authenticity is in the eye of the beholder.

[gaycelebtea]

I just sent you an anon but yo add on on why ruslana was there. I just assume she was there because Martin invited her so he wouldn’t be alone with Alberto possibly. Like I said before, he doesn’t like other people it seems. So he probably didn’t want to be alone with someone he doesn’t know well. Or maybe they just wanted to have a sleepover with all 3. Ruslana lives in Madrid which is where I think Martin were staying and where the series will be filmed. Btw I also don’t like ruslana lmao like I said she seems like a very selfish teenager that has a very high opinion of herself but I don’t think she is trying to ruin their relationship. I go back and forth between if anything has happened or is happening. Even if she did want to get with Martin, I really don’t think she’d want to be in a relationship with him. Who knows tho 🤷‍♀️

I agree with a lot of what you said here. It's possible he was nervous so he invited Ruslana. I still think it was kinda weird though, like she isn't part of Martin's new show. The tiktok they posted also felt very cringy and awkward. Good to know I'm not the only one disliking Ruslana, she has a very high opinion of herself, but she is very immature and shelfish imo. I have no idea if something happened, but you're right, even if it did I doubt she wants to be in a relationship with him.

[rwhiteside123]

Salt Paper

Ruslana Whiteside

This image is a female that is sitting in the bathroom, looking very confused and wanting to understand what she's going through life by just understanding why is she in this position? - this photo has taken me to understand the techniques of the colors and willing to put a lot more effort on this post and creating a very sharp image towards the salt making process.

The second image is one of my girl sitting in the mountains, glaring out, looking at the view, and having a peace moment with her self. - this one I wanted to make a large piece of image to get a sense of the landscape and the person that is sitting with the landscape.

This image is a picture of me with a knife, going down a cutting board, feeling very dedicated and willing to get a specific image that I wanted and create some thing, so motivating and capturing a moment of motivation. - this image took me once, and in a blue moon to understand, giving it a different color paper alternative, and it turned out the way I wanted it to be.

The fourth image is a picture of a woman, staring directly onto the camera, giving it a soft texture look, giving it a motion of love and self-care - this image took me three times to achieve, but I wanted to make this image understand the worth of the beauty and the texture of the lightning and giving it a beautiful outcome.

the last picture is a picture of a woman giving a fashion onto the clothing model outcome. I wanted to give a different color of black and white/Tan. That's how it turned out during the process of doing salt paper. - this one only gave me one try, and I really like the finish look of the image. Gives a brown and black and white tone throughout the whole image.

Overall

Overall, the salt paper was very difficult in the beginning to understand how to do the brushstrokes, but after that, I understood the process and the steps of doing salt paper. I really enjoyed this type of understand, mint of using salt and other chemicals, combining all in one to make an image. I do believe if making more I will be able to really get some good images in the future. I'm super excited to learn more about salt making and making big images for fun.

[insomniac-jay]

Winter's Kiss

Full Name: Ruslana Edita Darya Kozlova

Age: 28

Gender: Female (Cis, She/Her)

Nationality: Russia, America

Ethnicity: Russian-American

Occupation: Pro Hero, Pro Figure skater

Affiliation(s): Winter Castle, Russian Olympic skating team (Formerly), American Olympic skating team

Description:

Design notes:

Parts of her body such as her lips, fingertips, toes are blue as a result of her Quirk.

She is constantly cold no matter what season also because of her Quirk.

Is right-handed.

Personality: Ruslana is a serious woman who has no time to waste on childish and/or empty people. She expects that her time be used wisely and not wasted by other's antics. This stems from the strict way she was raised and the beliefs her parents instilled in her.

She is determined to prove herself as both a hero and an athlete. She often calls herself the golden standard due to how powerful her Quirk is and her extensive villain capture and arrest record.

Ruslana often goes beyond her limits during training and ends up either slightly injuring herself or almost doing so. This is another teaching instilled in her by her parents, who were her managers during her early figure skating career.

Quirk: Winter's Wrath

An Emitter/Mutation Quirk that allows Ruslana to convert the water either in her body's water reserves or the air around her to generate snowstorms, ice storms, and blizzards strong enough to freeze over the entire area she's in. As a result, her core temperature is so low that doctors would say she was a walking and talking corpse. Another is that her body requires and can hold a lot more water than the average human's.

Unlike standard cryokinesis, Winter's Wrath is actually controlled by Ruslana mentally.

Family:

Alexei Kozlov (Father)

Khioniya Kozlova (nee Chernova) | Queen Cold (Mother)

Mikhail Kozlov | Tundra (Older brother)

Paired with: Nia King | Queen X (@calciumcryptid) (Formerly), Tobiko Akiyama | Aether

@floof-ghostie @s0ursop @opalofoctober @elflynns-horde-of-stuff @pizzolisnacks @peachyblkdemonslayer

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

she’s perfect your honour

[unibrowzz]

Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part VI: The 00s

So I gave the 2000s a lot of shit back when I was rewatching them, mainly because the contests became much longer now with the introductions of so many more participants that semi finals had to be introduced, and also because the song quality nosedived. With the televote now in full control of who won, all you really needed to do to get a good result was either send somebody well known in your geographical area, and/or send something weird that would stand out amongst 40+ participants.

This is where the illusion of “bloc voting” came from.

So song, quality for the most part, was compromised in favour of either sending an attention-grabbing vote trap or just somebody famous. But that’s enough about the contests overall, how’s about them winners?

2000- Fly on the Wings of Love

Country: Denmark

Artist: Olsen Brothers

Language: English

Thoughts: I wonder how it feels to wait nearly 40 years to win again only to win as a complete surprise with a song 100/1 in the odds. Must be weird. My feelings towards this song are… kinda mixed. It sounds like the kind of song you swear you’ve heard before over a million times, be it in advertisements, on the radio, being played by buskers or bored guitar kids at parties. But at the same time it feels so completely different compared to other winners and, Hell, even other Eurovision songs at the time. It’s a very striking and recognisable song when talking about Eurovision music, sure. It’s very chill, and relaxed, and the singer has a bizarre voice which somehow sounds heavily autotuned even when he’s performing live.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Not really

If no, what is? Sweden- Roger Pontare- “When Spirits are Calling my Name”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 46th

2001- Everybody

Country: Estonia

Artist: Tanel Padar & Dave Benton

Language: English

Thoughts: And this folks, is what you call a guilty pleasure. I avoided this song for a while because I just knew it was objectively terrible. I knew this barely qualified as a song, that most of it was just two mismatched dudes shouting at each other over a disco track, that the lyrics aren’t that great at all… Et cetera. And yet, trashy as it is, I still really like this song. I don’t really know why, maybe it’s my barely-hidden desire to be an obnoxious contrarian, maybe it’s because the chorus has some fairly decent lyrics (especially for an eastern European entry), maybe it’s because it’s catchy… Or maybe because it’s fun, I dunno.

Is this my personal winner for this year? 2001 really sucked tbh

If no, what is? Honestly yeah, this song shreds

Personal ranking (out of 67):  13th

2002: I Wanna

Country: Latvia

Artist: Marie N (Or, Maria Naumova)

Language: English (I think…?)

Thoughts: You want a song which hasn’t aged well? Well here you go.  I’m sure this song was MUCH more bearable back in 2002, but listening to it now is just... What on Earth is she even saying?? I don’t think I’ve heard a song with such garbled lyrics before. On my first listen, I couldn’t even distinguish what language this song was in, and when I finally realised it was in English… good Lord, the lyrics are complete nonsense. And the rhyming? It’s non-existent. The funny thing is Marie herself speaks really good English, so why this song sounds like it was run through Google Translate five times and sung by someone who only started learning English 5 minutes ago is beyond me. But enough about the terrible singing, lyrics and butchery of the English language, does this song have anything else going for it? Not really. I’d put this song into the same category as “Diva”, in that it’s trying desperately to be the next big disco track of its decade, but it just never reaches the crescendo it sets out to achieve. It just drunkenly fumbles around until it ends. What a graceful entry.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? United Kingdom- Jessica Garlick- "Come Back"

Personal ranking (out of 67):  59th

2003- Every Way that I Can

Country: Turkey

Artist: Sertab Erener

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the original ethnopop winner. I’m still not 100% sure what ethnopop is, but I’m guessing it’s just slang for the kind of music you’d hear in a gay bar whilst on your holidays. Not that I would know. This is yet another winner where it took me a good few listens to properly enjoy it since I thought the lyrics were a bit… bad. But unlike those other songs, I got into this one way back in (checks playlist) 2014, and I still haven’t managed to fall out of love with it, so to speak. I still really like this song, I’d go as far as to say it’s in my top ten favourite winners in fact. A statement which still hasn’t changed after I watched the 2003 contest recently in July of 2020, so hooray for that. And ethnopop isn’t really a genre I tend to gravitate towards, but I think what makes this song stand out to me at least is how heavy it is. This is a very slow song when you look at its BPM, and the beat just pounds loud and clear all throughout it. It’s not as obnoxious or in-your-face as other songs of its genre, it’s its own thing and that’s what makes it a cut above the rest for me.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67):  5th

2004- Wild Dances

Country: Ukraine

Artist: Ruslana

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the superior Ukrainian winner. This song is kind of similar to the one above, in that just like “Every Way that I Can” this is a big, stampy dance number, only this time with the distinction that the lyrics were written in 30 seconds rather than a few minutes. It doesn't get lazier than this folks. But I'm willing to forgive lazy lyrics if the song can distract me from them, and thankfully this song can. Plus it’s not like this song needs good lyrics anyway, I get the feeling the focus is more on the beat and instrumental more than anything. And luckily I’m a sucker for that.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67):  7th

2005- My Number One

Country: Greece

Artist: Helena Paparizou

Language: English

Thoughts: I’ll give you “My Number One crawled so Fuego could run”, more like My Number One won so Fuego could pull up the rear in second place behind a song full of chicken noises. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This song I feel is the one which really popularised that… certain brand of Eurovision song. The female-led, east Meditteranean origin, “Yas queen slay” brand of Eurovision song. Yanno. The true gay bar song. Which is, as I said earlier, not really a genre I like nor care for. Do I like this song? Eh. Kinda. I can’t really bring myself to hate it, since I have some good memories associated with it, but... … Well, I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it, put it that way. It feels kind of aggressive, and not in a way I’m all that comfortable with. The way she snarls that she’ll “get vicious” if her love isn’t reciprocated especially doesn’t sit right with me. Like I don’t want to be a That Guy™ who says people would get offended if a man sang that line, but it still puts me off a bit.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Hungary- NOX- “Forogj, Viláj!”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 36th

2006- Hard Rock Hallelujah

Country: Finland

Artist: Lordi

Language: English

Thoughts: My mother always asks me “how did this win?” And I always tell her, “Well it’s been nearly 15 years since it won and you still remember it, so clearly it left an impact on people.” So, obviously, this is a gimmicky entry; without the giant monster costumes I highly doubt this would’ve even qualified, let alone won with what was then a record-breaking score. After all, rock/metal songs don’t tend to fare well at this contest. Even with the drunk European public in full control of the vote, most of them are lucky to even make it onto the left side of the scoreboard, and getting into the top ten? Forget it. It's too niche of a genre for it to have broad appeal, especially given how a lot of viewers (in my experience at least) DO tend to be older and more conservative, shall we say.  Now, I'm not an expert on rock or metal myself, so I can't really say whether this is a good representation of the genre or whether this is what outsiders THINK it's like, but even to my untrained ear this does sound very tongue-in-cheek. Like I don’t want to go so far as to say this is a parody of metal music, but it definitely doesn’t seem to take itself too seriously. The song, I mean. Apparently the band is very serious about their monster aesthetic; but I digress. That said, I do have a soft spot for whatever sub-genre of metal this is, so I don’t mind this one in the slightest. 

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Croatia

If no, what is? Croatia- Séverina- “Moja Stikla”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 30th

2007: Molitva

Country: Serbia

Artist: Marija Serifovic

Language: Serbian (Translation: “Prayer”)

Thoughts: Ah, this one takes me back. This was one of the first Eurovision songs I remember truly falling in love with way back in 2013. I must’ve been about 16 or 17 at the time, heavily into dark, edgy music, and this song was just pure heaven for me. Ticked all the right boxes. It’s dark, it’s brooding, it’s sultry, the vocals are stellar, the lyrics are incredible; like, I wanted the title of this song tattooed on my wrist, I loved it so damn much, I just wanted to declare to the world that I loved this song. But that was then, how do I feel about it today? Obviously not the same, tastes evolve over time and after a while I wasn’t so easily suckered into this song’s spell like I used to be. But at the same time, I can’t deny that this is a fantastic song across the board, and one I still like despite it being my edgy favourite from back when my taste in music was terrible. Plus this is also the best-sung song of the 2000s, but that’s like being the tallest person in a room full of toddlers.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal Ranking (out of 67): 3rd

2008: Believe

Country: Russia

Artist: Dima Bilan

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes. The song that finally made Terry Wogan quit after 30 years of “commentating”. The song that proved to the people of the UK once and for all that the contest was rigged to favour certain countries and that countries in western Europe would never win again. Was it worth it? Not really, but I’m not complaining.  Now, I don't like Wogan's commentary at all, but really? This song? This is the straw that broke the camel’s back? This song isn’t bad per se, it’s just… Very underwhelming. And outdated. Like I can smell the 2000s off this one and it smells like Lynx body spray and hair gel. It's stuck in that awkward phase where it's too old to be cool, but not old enough to be retro, and it’s forever doomed to be a product of its time. It’s just an average, generic, “I have a dream and I can achieve it” pseudo-ballad; nothing outstanding or special. The performance feels very stale and formulaic too. The only way to describe it is it’s what I imagine an American person would THINK a winning Eurovision song would be like based on what they get told by their European pen pals. Dated music, hot Russian men, over the top presentation, like this just reeks of what outsiders (or British people, for that matter) think Eurovision is made of. On a different note, mediocre and dated as this song may be, I can still kinda see how it won (and no, it has nothing to do with Russia’s international relationships). Dima himself is a very… unique performer; one who performs with the questionable energy of an overexcitable children’s YouTuber, and his dramatic and exaggerated movements make this whole performance a bit of a blast to watch. But that doesn’t really save how painfully bland the song is.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Latvia- Pirates- "Wolves of the Sea"

Personal ranking (out of 67): 48th

2009: Fairytale

Country: Norway

Artist: Alexander Rybak

Language: English

Thoughts: I’m not going to lie, my feelings towards this song are incredibly mixed. There’s a lot of appeal here, with wild violin solos, swooping vocals and a pounding beat, as well as a very singalongable chorus; like, this is a good, solid song. But… something here just doesn’t gel with me. This, to me, is one of those “good by default” songs that’s a solid ‘A’ across the board, but something’s just… missing for me. There’s not enough here for me to go out of my way to download and listen to this on a regular basis. It's in the same boat as “Waterloo” in that I don't dislike it, because it’s still a good song, but I can't say I like it either, because it’s such a default "best Eurovision song”, so I can’t sincerely say I like it. Am I making sense? Probably not. But basically my thoughts are “it’s good, but it’s not my kind of good.”

Is this my personal winner for this year? Ehhhhhh

If no, what is? Germany- Alex Swings, Oscar Sings- “Miss Kiss Kiss Bang”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 29th

[hadesisqueer]

They are trying to fuck Ruslana and Chiara over a lot this week. Ruslana has already seen what the show was doing and is not going to let them turn her into a pop girl as they wanted, and Chiara is of interest inside AND outside... I'm starting to guess what they want to do tomorrow, and so did they when they mentioned it the other day: that they thought they might end up nominated against the other this week. And I'll riot tbh I had enough with Violeta vs Denna and Chiara vs Violeta, if they do Chiara vs Ruslana I will end up going to Terrassa and kill myself in front of the judges and producers to change the trajectory of their lives (now, jokes apart, ffs I would be so done)

[eurovision-revisited]

Eurovision 2004: The Scoreboards

For some reason, I've neglected to mention that, for the past two years, each host has selected a slogan or theme for that year's Eurovision. In Tallin it was A Modern Fairytale, in Riga it was Magical Rendez-vous. This year, TRT have gone with Under the Same Sky which given the location of Istanbul, the city that's in both Europe and Asia makes a whole heap of sense.

That theme is reflected in the layout of the scoreboard. Two arcs of nations either side of the spokesperson delivering the results. Albeit with the implication that the European half of the results are a much, much better than the Asian side.

Another first is that the flags of the countries are present inside heart-shaped cut outs. That heart is going to become ubiquitous. It's used all over the place this year and will be back in the future.

Now there's a semi, there's more than one scoreboard. More for the graphic design department to do - although not too much more. The scores aren't given at the end of the semi, only a list of the winners. That's a relatively simple task.

The results reveal for the semi final is done in a very traditional manner with the hosts picking from a set of red envelopes at random to reveal each of the qualifiers. It should be tense, yet somehow it's not quite there yet. Work to do.

Time for the spoilers.

The ten qualifying countries were (in order of the number of points they received):

Serbia & Montenegro - 263 points

Ukraine - 256 points

Greece - 238 points

Albania - 167 points

Cyprus - 149 points

Netherlands - 146 points

Bosnia & Herzegovina - 133 points

Malta - 74 points

Croatia - 72 points

North Macedonia - 71 points

There was quite a big drop down to Israel in 11th place who had 57 points. These scores were only released after the grand final.

Those ten countries joined the 14 other pre-qualified countries in the grand final. There was a lot less tension in the scoring this year. Two countries jostled for the lead for most of the sequences, but in the end Ukraine pulled clear with a few countries still to go. Slovenia this time were the third last voters and it was once again joker Peter Poles delivering the points that cemented the winner. With two countries to go, Ukraine couldn't be beaten - even though they were the final country to vote.

At the bottom end of the scoreboard, there were no nul points this year, but there weren't many points in total at all. The seven bottom countries all got fewer than 20 points. There was chasm between the top 6 and everyone else.

The grand final full results were:

Ukraine - Ruslana - "Wild Dances" - 280 points

Serbia & Montenegro - Željko Joksimović and Ad-Hoc Orchestra - "Lane moje" - 263 points

Greece - Sakis Rouvas - "Shake It" - 252 points

Türkiye - Athena - "For Real" - 195 points

Cyprus - Lisa Andreas - "Stronger Every Minutes" - 170 points

Sweden - Lena Philipsson - "It Hurts" - 170 points (joint 5th)

Albania - Anjeza Shahini - "The Image of You" - 106 points

Germany - Max - "Can't Wait Until Tonight" - 93 points

Bosnia & Herzegovina - Deen - "In the Disco" - 91 points

Spain - Ramón - "Para llenarme de ti" - 87 points

Russia - Julia Savicheva - "Believe Me" - 67 points

Malta - Julie and Ludwig - "On Again... Off Again" - 50 points

Croatia - Ivan Mikulić - "You Are the Only One" - 50 points (joint 12th)

North Macedonia - Toše Proeski - "Life" - 47 points

France - Jonatan Cerrada - "À chaque pas" - 40 points

United Kingdom - James Fox - "Hold On to Our Love" - 29 points

Poland - Blue Café - "Love Song" - 27 points

Romania - Sanda - "I Admit" - 18 points

Iceland - Jónsi - "Heaven" - 16 points

Netherlands - Re-union - "Without You" - 11 points

Austria - Tie Break - "Du bist" - 9 points

Belgium - Xandee - "1 Life" - 7 points

Ireland - Chris Doran - "If My World Stopped Turning" - 7 points (joint 22nd)

Norway - Knut Anders Sørum - "High" - 3 points

[gaycelebtea]

Ruslana is also with Omar so there’s that. Idk if anything happened (as you e already said) but ruslana is VERY affectionate. Martin isn’t tho so that’s why I found it odd. Also it could be an age thing because Martin and ruslana are very much teenagers. They don’t really care about others. Ruslana didn’t even hug Lucas when it was said she was saved over him and kiki. She also was screaming and having a fit when they got their scores and said “what did he do” obviously referring to Paul, juanjo, or Lucas. So she has a lot of growing up to do as does Martin. Martin doesn’t mention anyone except ruslana, kiki, or juanjo which is sad because I thought they also gave him tons of support especially Paul. I know people say Martin is mature for his age but I don’t see that at ALL. They are only 18/19 so it makes sense. The others are very young too. So it’s not an excuse but an explanation. Hopefully ruslana and Martin continue to grow and don’t stay in their tantrums or whatever you want to call it lmao

Ruslana comes across as very insecure and childish to me. Extremely selfish too. There is just something about her... like I remember once inside Martin needed/wanted to talk to Juanjo ALONE. Ruslana came up to Martin because she wanted to be the center of attention (like always). She had no care what Martin wanted or what Juanjo wanted. It was always about her and her wants and needs. She is so immature. That's what's pissing me off the most about her. I understand she is close with Martin, but if she was mature she would understand and realize he also needs time alone and time alone with his boyfriend, and set her own needs and wants aside, in support of Martin. She never did that. It pissed me off.

Btw; I think Martin is mature in some ways, like he is very in touch with his feelings, very calm and thinks before he talks. But in other ways he still has a lot of growing up to do; like... he comes across as insecure sometimes. He never stands his ground. For example he never lets Ruslana know that he wants/needs to be alone. It's like he's scared of hurting her or something. And yes, I agree. Hopefully they grow and mature! They are very young after all.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 45 - 41

45.  Rasmussen - “Higher ground” Denmark 2018

[2018 Review here]

FRIZ DEE YERRO, WINDY YERRRRR

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Remember when Christer rejected “Higher ground” from Melfest and it was the fucking WORST Melfest ever? Remember how Denmark recycled it and let it win DMGP? Well...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOWNED SO HARD!! and not just Sweden to be honest, because “Higher ground” slaps, even a full year after the fact. It’s a paragon of righteous scandi energy, conceived in a mancave over a keg of mead, inspired by a tale of medival pacifism (which actually makes it non-toxicly masculine), imprinted on by Game of Thrones (a wonderful tv series that ended when the White Walkers melted down the ice wall and murdered everybody in Westeros ^__^)

In a nutshell, an absolutely kick ass entry.

Truth be told, it is IMPOSSIBLE to not get up from my chair, pound my chest and march along with the Old Norse (😍) post-chorus chanting. Rasmussen DELIVERS a performance so intense it rips the space/time continuum and creates a portal to the good old Viking days. 100% deserving of being 2018′s KEiiNO and the highest Danish entry on this ranking!

________________________________________________________________

44. Pasha Parfeny - “Lăutar” Moldova 2012

THIS DRAMPET MAKES U MIME GIRL

Pasha Parfeny looks like this now:

😬 

Years of being awesome clearly took their toll on poor Pasha, but I will cherish him for the fountain of fun he has always been.  “Lăutar”  is such an uninhibited display for Moldovan FOLK, bringing out the dulcimers, horns and “drampets” to bring a much-needed ethic palate cleanser after the musical genocide committed on the Baku Stage. It also features some of the best dance choreography found in this decade, in which Pasha and dancers hop around the stage like overexcited gerbils <3

(btw: the pink dancer SLAYS me every single time.)

Such a frivolous, playful, adorable act that radiates mirth from every pore. 😍 But wait, we aren’t done, because “ Lăutar” also features some of the more memorable, hilarious, iconic butcherings of the English language found in this decade (”You haven’t seen before the looks like drampet. 😍 Butter sound go straight to ur soul”😍). It certainly helps that Pasha is like a male Ruslana, struggling to express himself and resulting some hilarious awkward interview gold (Eurovision.tv: “Pasha, what is your secret for happiness” Pasha: “Make good sex ^__^”  Eurovision.tv: “. . .” 😍)

Naturally, a Pasha write-up cannot be finished without noting how central he is to ‘Moldova in Eurovision’, almost as much as Moldova’s staging is. This little man’s (literally. He’s like 1.65m lol) musical legacy includes:

- writing and performing Lăutar in 2012 - being a former vocalist for Sunstroke Project - being the mentor of Aliona Moon and writing her 2013 song - being the original songwriter for DoReDoS before Kirkorov took over   In other words, he is ~CONNECTED~ to every epic, high-tier Moldovan entry. WHAT AN ICON. Stay Safe Pavel!!

_______________________________________________________________

43. Dino Merlin - “Love in rewind” Bosnia - Herzegovina 2011

Finishing 6th place from the death slot when will ur faves...x Man I do love my narrative entries, and it doesn’t get much better than an old man reflecting back on his life’s had, satisfied with its outcome. It’s such a c00t premise and Dino Merlin plays the part of the adorable grandfather with conviction. 😍 Even manages to transform Maja Sar into a fun hume for once:

“Love in rewind” really is all about the group effort. Dino himself is of course fantastic and makes this performance, but his troupe of ragtag troubadours carry a lot of weight as well, providing a wackadoodle wonderland for Dino to project his nostalgia onto.  

And then there’s the question of “Love in rewind” itself. It is easy to lump it in with all the other frivolous folk, but in reality it’s an experimental avant garde song disguised as folk 😈 (exactly like “Putnici”, in fact!). The song is made into an artform by a few unorthodox, sudden key changes. Key changes hated by the millennial wannabe pitchfork crew, but here at BorisBubbles we don’t support weakness so let’s wave them all goodbye in celebration of what is easily Bosnia’s best Eurovision entry:

 _______________________________________________________________

42. JOWST ft. Aleksander Wallman - “Grab the moment”  Norway 2017

[2017 Review here]

As a shameless EDM Hound, I have to admit that I am totally smitten by this piece of electronic undergroundness. A wonderful epileptic seizure of pitch black and lavender, executed to perfection by Aleksander Wallman. “Grab the moment” offers show-stopping visual effects, great vocal execution and an additctive beat. THE TRIPLE THREAT OF LIVE MUSIC!

Fortunately, there’s also a great underlying message. I haven’t really talked about the Mental Health Anthem all that much in this ranking, but that’s mostly because I haven’t ranked most of them yet. Any song that inspires people to believe in themselves, that it is okay to be imperfect and that tackles social issues such as procrastination and neurosis HEAD ON and WITH RESPECT, deserves praise.

Which is exactly what JOWST & Aleksander do, specifically by addressing young heterosexual men. 😍 (ie: the demograph that is the least likely to reach out for a support when they need it). They do this very cleverly, by using teenspeak to discuss the ever-relatable theme crippling anxiety and how to lay it aside and get shit done. 🤜🤛 so let us all 

KILL k177 K!££

~ThEvOiCeInMyHeAd~

________________________________________________________________

41.  Ruth Lorenzo - “Dancing in the Rain Spain 2014

THE RAIIIIIN THE RAIIIIN THE RAIIIIIN

Ruth. Yo quiero ser Ruth. Because Ruth is emblematic of Spain’s biggest (only) strength in Eurovision: the LOUD OVERDRAMATIC SCREECHING POWERBALLAD 😍 There are so many precedents to Ruth, from “Él” to “Vuelve Conmigo” to “Bailar pegados” to “Quedate conmigo” but “Dancing in the rain” may be my favourite of the lot. In part because Ruth is a GODDESS and I was *invested* in her success the second she won the NF:

Which she then followed up by forming a backstage bitch coven with Conchita and Suzy. 😍 Excuse me for a moment, I have to lay myself down and blow myself with a fan because that alliance contains so much awesomeness it gives me palpitations. 

But I mostly love “Dancing in the rain” because of the performance. It’s a great composition in its own right, providing intense screaminess, well-executed language changes and of course, literal stage rain. 😍 However, Ruth is SO intense in her delivery it becomes a moment of contemplation, of exaltation, and of stupefication as Ruth’s SONIC ENERGY washes over us like a tsunami of sound. DEJA CAER, DEJA LA LLUVIA CAER, THE RAIN THE RAIN THE RAIN

________________________________________________________________

and since this is the last update for Spain, Bosnia, Moldova and Denmark, I’ll include my overall thoughts below. 

DENMARK

The only people who like Denmark in this decade are those with negative taste and no self-respect and those desperately wanting to be Swedes but never will be Swedes (ie: Danes)

MOLDOVA

Not a ‘perfect’ track record, but still an excellent showing for a country with so few resources. Moldova is one of my favourite countries in ESC and this chart should show you why. 

BOSNIA - HERZEGOVINA

Bosnia - Herzegovina participated four times in this decade and were epic exactly once. Thank you for that... now I normally would add that I miss them but, nah. Bye. 

SPAIN

I am honestly shocked Spain didn’t do worse on my ranking?? I don’t think they’re like.. a ‘TERRIBLE’ esc country the way Ireland and Montenegro are, but jesus fuck out of the cavalcade of incompetent countries that have no idea what the fuck they’re doing, Spain is the giantslewofincompetentcountriesthathavenoideawhatthefuckthey’redoingest. Which is puzzling given that all of their high results come from kickass female-fronted powerballads, ie: the easiest trope to nail. (case in point: Macedonia scored a top 10 with one. Macedonia.) JUST STICK TO THOSE and ditch the wannabe reggaetons. 

[kseniazhuk]

Ukraine for the ask thing!

yaaas thanks

ok so my top 5 entries from ukraine are...

5. o torvald - time

unpopular opinion but this song slaps and o torvald’s music is great and i just wish they staged it differently, they could’ve done a lot better with a better staging i think :(

4. zlata ognevich - gravityv o c al q u e e n. seriously, how does she sing that?? so well?? apart from a really well composed and original sounding song which combines like ,, disney vibes with chants and digital modern music that’s really catchy and really captures my attention zlata’s just an immense talent

3. alyosha - sweet peoplean absolutely fantastic rock ballad delivered by another vocal queen !!

2. ruslana - wild dances (yup, you’re seeing this post and thinking i’m basic for having the winners as my top 2) childhood bop...i listen to this when i need energy and it cheers me up. it’s just so catchily written and absolutely perfect for eurovision in combining catchiness, memorability, uniqueness with some sounds of the country it was sent by. the ukrainian part is the best

look this was one of the three gifs that came up when searching for ruslana so i had to use it

1. jamala - 1944

this is my favorite eurovision winner song, it’s so beautifully composed and performed, and it has such a unique and original vibe and melody to it, and jamala is a g o d d e s s