#rushed bc its rlly late

[midnighteclipze]

Uhh soo this is very ooc Billie because like she seems like she has her life together well, but what if she got into a situationship and it hit her harder than she thought Basically drew that one screenshot of Vi putting on that black makeup but with Billie hehe

[notiddygothgf]

ii.

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ You're drunk. ❞ ❝ Not that drunk. ❞

★ c.w.: tension. drinking. reader embarrassing the hell out of herself omg. not beta'd

★ a/n: oh my god i was so excited after the amount of love i got on the last chapter that i absolutely had to rush this one out!!! i was literally ripping my shirt off bc of the tension i just want them to fuck omg. (Jk... not rlly tho stay tuned). anyway if you couldnt tell im super aki hungry lately. this chapter is the result of that. we get to see a different side to the cold blooded captain.... i think yall r gonna like it just trust me ;) 

again i apologize for the fast pacing, pls remember that this is a short story! (though shameless was supposed to be short too so who knows i may rewrite it into a longfic teehee). you know the drill! leave lots and lots of comments for me to read and ill make that next chapter come out stat! get ready... its a long one lol xx

★ w.c: .5.2k

pornstar ; chapter index

THE NIGHT – for the most part – had just started. Your drinks, on the other hand, hadn't waited up. You were three beers deep, head perched on your hand, peering at Himeno, who was telling some wild recount of the mission you had just had. Everyone else was listening, too, heads turned, eyes wide while she described the way you had "swooped in and saved the day" (something Hayakawa had chewed you out for).

"She blew a hole straight through the building," She was saying. "But there were no casualties. Talk about precision, am I right?"

And, eyelids droopy as all hell, you laughed, swirling the piss yellow liquid around in your beer mug. The pleasant buzz from the few drinks you'd had were beginning to seep into your skin, warmth washing over you in slow, comforting waves. You basked in it for a moment, tuning out of the conversation being had only a few feet away.

You tuned out and, instead, your attention shifted. You see, it was hard to stay focused when a certain someone you hadn't expected to show up actually wound up pulling through, now seated at the other end of the table looking far too uptight to be at a friendly gathering. He was wearing his Public Safety uniform – the one you had never seen him out of... not that you were thinking about what he looked like out of uniform, or anything like that – and he looked good enough to have you questioning your own sanity.

You swore it was the alcohol – you swore it was. Nothing else could explain the way your pulse thrummed a little harder in your veins when he looked up and caught your gaze, cobalt eyes tearing you apart at the seams. Hair pulled back perfectly into his signature ponytail, not a strand out of place. He hadn't taken off his suit, but you were suddenly rather conscious of how much larger than you he was – of the way he seemed that much taller than you, even when he was sitting down, of the way his suit accentuated his broad shoulders. His jawline was sharp and angular, just like the rest of him, and his eyes... fuck, his eyes...

Were staring right at you.

Biting back a shriek, you averted your gaze, glaring into your lap like that would make the situation any better. You had to take the situation at face value – you had invited your superior out to drinks and were now making a complete and utter fool out of yourself by spending the evening making goo-goo eyes at him. 

Oh, and not to mention the fact that you were supposed to hate his fucking guts.

Shaking yourself out of it, you tuned back into Himeno's conversation, trying to latch onto her words like a lifeline.

"So then, this asshole pops out of nowhere—like, I swear to God, he came out of thin air—and he goes for her throat. But!—" She punctuated her words with an exaggerated hand motion, nearly knocking over her beer in the process. "She dodges like it's nothing. I mean, I've never seen reflexes like that. It was unreal."

You managed a laugh, though it came out a little delayed, like your body had to remember how to react. The alcohol had made you sluggish, slow, and the warmth in your chest had turned sticky, clinging to your ribs. You weren't even sure what you were feeling anymore, but something about it didn't sit right.

Your gaze slid back to him—because of course it did. And this time, when you looked, he wasn't looking back.

Instead, Aki's attention was on something else entirely—on someone else. He was speaking to one of the girls from another division. Kobeni, you realized. She was nodding, awkward and stiff, while he spoke, his expression the same measured, unreadable one he always wore.

You let your head drop onto Himeno's shoulder, exhaling through your nose. What the hell is going on between us?

It wasn't like you. You weren't the type to get hung up on things like this. But tonight, the drinks had loosened something in you, and you could feel it unraveling, thread by thread. Aki was a pain in your ass. He was the one constantly calling you reckless, the one always tightening the reins when you stepped even a little out of line. You weren't supposed to care. You weren't supposed to notice how sharp his jaw looked under the dim bar lights or the way his hands moved when he spoke.

And yet.

Himeno, drunker than you were, said nothing about the way you leaned against her, only let her head tilt slightly against yours like it was the most natural thing in the world.

You shut your eyes for a moment. Maybe if you pretended you weren't watching him, pretended you weren't thinking about this at all, it would stop feeling like something.

But it didn't work.

No, once more, your gaze drifted back to the damn captain. This time, when he spoke to Kobeni, she smiled – wide enough to crease the skin at the corners of her eyes. She was a pretty, young thing. She had pretty eyes and pretty, chestnut brown hair. She was shy and timid and took orders very well – everything you were not. 

I wonder if he likes her, You couldn't help but wonder, smile dropping from your face while you observed the two of them in conversation. 

A strange feeling clawed its way over your chest. Something you couldn't name. It was a horrible, rotten feeling. One you hadn't felt since you were a highschooler. It sat in your stomach like a brick, burning its way through your arteries, prying at your lips for escape.

It was jealousy.

Oh, what the fuck?

She definitely likes him, you thought. That much was evident by the way she leaned into her superior's space, eagerly taking in every word that left his mouth. Her eyes glimmered with something that made your stomach churn.

It was jealousy, you knew that, but... why? Why him? Why now?

Why the fuck did you even care? 

Why did you feel jealous over a man you hated?

Himeno's hand on your shoulder shook you out of your drunken gaze. You perked up, lifting your head from the crook in her shoulder, turning your attention away from the scene in front of you so you could dedicate all of your attention to someone more deserving of it.

"You know, kohai," She giggled, face flushed with a drunken shade. "You're really pretty."

Am I in the twilight zone?

You smiled at her, "That's coming from you."

"Oh, shut up," The woman replied, batting you away with your hands, laughing up a storm. "I wanna ask you... ask you 'sumthin."

You knit your brows together, pursing your lips. "What's up?"

She looked at you, then, lashes fluttering over her one good eye, mischief written all over her face. You knew you shouldn't have asked, but you were even more shocked by her answer, "Would you kiss me?"

You laughed at that – you couldn't help it, truly. Himeno had kissed just about every person in the division (though you weren't sure if that excluded a certain stuck-up bastard, and you were even less sure that you wanted to ask). Still, it was because of that fact that you knew her request was harmless. It was... just her way of showing love while drunk. She couldn't help it.

"I didn't know you could swing that way, Himeno," You laughed.

"I've never tried– hic– tried," She shrugged, as if she was asking the easiest question in the entire world. "'M jussst... curious, aren't you?"

You answered back, "Not really."

And she pouted at that – like she was a child and not a drunk-ass, grown-ass woman, "Why not? Am I not your type?"

No, but apparently someone else is.

Peering down at the table, vision a little hazy, you polished off the rest of your beer. Then, you added, "You could say that."

Why do I feel drunker than I did a few minutes ago?

"Who's your type, then?" She asked, leaning forward, all up into your personal space, and it would have bothered you if it was anyone else, "Do you like girls? Guys?"

"Never really explored, but..." You hummed. The beer made its way down the back of your throat, warming your vocal chords, your stomach, your chest. "Guys, I guess."

Then that devilish little grin of hers was back on her face. "If you could fuck anyone here, then, who would it be?"

"Sober or drunk?" You laughed, setting your empty mug down with a soft clink.

Himeno cackled, tipping forward slightly in her seat. The alcohol had turned her loose, made her limbs sluggish and her voice louder than she probably realized. "A few shots, maybe. Not drunk."

You hummed, drumming your fingers against the table, pretending to give it some thought. But the answer was already there, sitting heavy in the back of your mind, waiting for a moment of weakness to slip through the cracks.

Captain Hayakawa.

The name surfaced so quickly, so naturally, that it startled you. And before you could stop yourself, before you could even pretend to fight it, your gaze flickered back to him.

Big mistake.

Because Himeno caught it immediately.

She gasped, sharp and dramatic, smacking a hand over her mouth like she had just witnessed a crime scene. It was so loud, so cartoonish, that a few people turned to look, and you had to resist the urge to sink into your seat.

"No fucking way," she whispered, but there was nothing subtle about the gleam in her eye. She practically vibrated with excitement, like she'd just stumbled upon the juiciest piece of gossip imaginable. Then, with a grin, she leaned in, voice hushed but not nearly hushed enough. "You're hot for captain?"

You snapped your head toward her so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash. "No—no, no," you hissed, gripping her forearm in a weak attempt to physically shut her up. "Shut up, Himeno."

She wasn't having it. She wiggled her brows at you, eyes twinkling with amusement. "No fucking way," she repeated, drawing out every syllable like she was savoring them. "I thought you hated his guts."

"I do," you shot back, a little too fast, a little too forceful. It was immediate. Instinctive. A reflex.

And she noticed.

The look on her face turned downright smug.

"I don't have the hots for him," you corrected, shaking your head, willing your face to cool down even as it burned. "Now would you keep it down?"

Himeno held up her hands in surrender, but there was something devious in the way she did it, like she was still holding onto the truth of the situation, just waiting for the right moment to pry it back open.

She sat back slightly, but then, after a beat—because of course she couldn't just leave it at that—she leaned in again, voice dipping lower, eyes gleaming. "If you were a little drunker, though..."

You groaned, slapping a hand over your face. "Enough," you hissed, dragging out the word, but your voice lacked bite.

She was full-on giggling now, shoulders shaking, thoroughly enjoying your suffering.

Then, her laughter faded—just a little—and she tilted her head, giving you a look that was too knowing, too amused. "Not even a kiss?"

"No," you said, firm. But somehow, it didn't feel quite as firm as it should have.

The night went smoothly after that. Drinks and conversation were flowing, you were sufficiently drunk, and the lot of you were laughing loud enough to disturb any of the other patrons who came to this poor izakaya to get moderately tipsy. 

The drinks kept coming, conversation swelling louder with each round, the izakaya thick with smoke and the scent of grilled meat. You were properly drunk, the kind where your limbs felt loose, where laughter came too easily, where everything should've been fun, should've been easy.

Except it wasn't.

Because across the table, Aki was still talking to Kobeni.

And you didn't care. You didn't.

You had no reason to. You weren't friends. You weren't anything. If anything, you hated his guts—his quiet, know-it-all demeanor, his stupid pretty face, the way he always acted so fucking above it all. Like he was better than the rest of you just because he didn't get sloppy drunk, didn't fuck around, didn't let things get to him.

And yet—

Your drink was empty again. When had that happened? You barely remembered drinking it. You reached for the bottle to pour yourself more, but your hand wasn't as steady as you wanted it to be. Himeno laughed beside you, grabbing the bottle before you could knock it over.

"Take it easy," she teased, topping off your glass anyway.

You snorted. "I'm fine."

Himeno grinned, and for a moment, you let yourself focus on her instead. It was easier. She was warm, easy to be around, all teasing smiles and the kind of confidence that made everything feel simple.

But then—

Another laugh from across the table. Aki's.

You hadn't even known he could laugh like that, low and quiet, the kind that didn't come often. Your stomach twisted before you could stop it, your head snapping toward him on instinct.

Kobeni was leaning in, her hands curled in her lap, nodding at whatever he'd said. And Aki—he wasn't even looking at her anymore, just staring down at his drink, lips twitching like he wasn't sure if he should be amused or annoyed.

You clenched your jaw.

It wasn't like they were doing anything.

Aki wasn't flirting—he wasn't the type. You knew that. He wasn't the kind of guy to lean in too close, to lower his voice just enough to make someone's breath hitch, to toy with people the way Himeno did. He was the exact opposite—quiet, serious, all sharp edges and self-control.

And yet, there was something unbearable about the way he was sitting there, across the table, listening to Kobeni like she was worth listening to.

She was talking—some pointless, forgettable thing, probably about work—but her body language spoke louder than her words. The way she fidgeted with her glass, how she kept sneaking glances at him, how her voice wavered slightly before picking up again, like she was hesitating before every sentence. She was nervous. And that alone made you feel like something was pressing against your ribs, like a slow, smoldering ember was settling somewhere beneath your skin.

She was trying.

Trying to impress him. Trying to be seen by him.

And Aki—Aki, idiot that he was—just sat there, unreadable as ever, nodding along, responding just enough to keep the conversation going but not enough to give anything away. Not pushing her away. Not shutting her down.

Letting her talk. Letting her have his attention.

Your fingers tightened around your drink.

It was stupid.

You didn't even like him.

You weren't sure if you even respected him. Half the time, you couldn't stand him—his rules, his orders, the way he always acted so damn above it all. You'd seen him roll his eyes at you more times than you could count, seen the way he sighed when you got under his skin. You weren't his type, and he sure as hell wasn't yours.

So you had no reason—none at all—to feel that awful, simmering thing curling in your stomach.

Maybe it was just the alcohol.

Or maybe it was something uglier.

Maybe it was the fact that if Aki ever looked at you the way Kobeni looked at him, you wouldn't know what the fuck to do with it. Maybe it was the idea that he could like someone like her—quiet, nervous, too polite for her own good—when all he ever did with you was act like you were a fucking nuisance.

Maybe it was that, deep down, you had always assumed Aki didn't have the capacity to like anyone at all.

And now, watching him sit there, watching Kobeni work up the nerve to inch closer, to brush her fingers against the edge of his sleeve like she was testing the waters—you weren't so sure anymore.

You downed your drink, jaw tightening.

Himeno nudged you, her voice playful but perceptive. "You're awfully quiet," she mused, lips quirking.

You exhaled sharply, barely processing the words before your own were spilling out.

"I changed my mind."

Himeno blinked. "Huh?"

You didn't think.Didn't hesitate. Didn't second-guess yourself.

Your hand curled into the fabric of Himeno's collar, tugging her forward with more force than necessary. There was barely a beat of surprise before your lips crashed against hers, the alcohol burning hot in your veins, your pulse hammering in your ears.

The izakaya erupted around you. A chair scraping against the floor, a loud whistle, the sharp intake of breath from someone—Kobeni, probably. Laughter. Someone shouting something half-coherent in encouragement. The kind of scene that would normally make you self-conscious, make you want to shrink away from the attention.

But you didn't shrink away.

Because Himeno kissed you back.

And she kissed you like she meant it.

Her lips tasted like warm sake, sweet and sharp, the scent of cigarette smoke clinging faintly to her. Her fingers slid up your neck, slow and deliberate, curling at the base of your skull. She deepened the kiss, tilting her head just enough to press closer, her breath mingling with yours.

For a second, it was grounding.

For a second, the heat of it, the weight of her hands, the press of her body against yours—it was enough to drown out the gnawing, ugly feeling twisting in your stomach.

You could feel her smirk against your mouth. Himeno had always been good at this—at teasing, at making things feel light, easy. Like none of it had to mean anything.

When she pulled back, her grin was lazy, her eyes lidded and amused. Her fingers stayed in your hair, playing absently with the strands.

"Damn," she murmured, voice low enough that only you could hear, "You kiss like a man. I like it."

The words should've embarrassed you.

Should've made you regret it.

But you just laughed, breathless. It felt a little hollow.

Because when you glanced toward Aki's seat—

He was gone.

Your stomach dropped, the lightness of the moment collapsing in on itself.

And just like that, the heat you'd felt seconds ago twisted into something unbearable.

The room was too loud. Too warm. The laughter too sharp, the smell of alcohol suddenly cloying. Himeno was still watching you, her teasing smile lingering, but you couldn't focus on any of it.

Your hands curled into fists at your sides.

It shouldn't have mattered. It didn't matter. But your heart was pounding anyway, and suddenly the room felt too loud, the heat of it unbearable. Himeno was still looking at you, a teasing remark likely on the tip of her tongue, but you couldn't focus on any of it.

That asshole, you thought – ideas ruminating in your mind. I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind, leaving with no excuse like that.

You pushed your chair back, barely hearing the legs scrape against the floor.

"Where are you—?" Himeno started, but you were already moving, shoving past the press of bodies, stepping outside.

The night air hit you immediately, a sharp contrast to the stifling warmth of the izakaya. The street was damp from earlier rain, neon lights from nearby signs reflecting off the slick pavement. The noise from inside was muffled now, like it belonged to a different world.

You didn't stop until you came face-to-face with an intimidating figure. You exhaled slowly, breath curling in the cold. And then—

Aki.

He stood a few steps away, his back against the wall, a cigarette balanced between his fingers. He wasn't smoking it, not yet—just twirling it absently, gaze fixed on some distant point down the street. His expression was unreadable, the way it always was.

And he was devastatingly handsome, even now – fucking asshole.

Biting back a drunk little grin – and realizing that you knew damn well you would never, ever have done this sober – you approached him, hips swaying from side to side. Whether the motion was due to your trying to come off as enticing or due to the copious amounts of sake and beer you had ingested, you weren't sure. Hell, you weren't sure about anything anymore. 

And, the moment those baby blues of his flicked up to meet your gaze, you immediately regretted coming out to find him. The fact that he was perceiving you now in such a drunken state was enough to have your heart beating against your ribs like an animal at the zoo (but not enough to make you back down now that you had him alone). You knew it was stupid, fuck, you should have turned back on your heel and gone back the way you had come, but you couldn't stop yourself.

No, I have to give him a piece of my mind.

His eyes dropped down to your outfit – the little black dress you definitely hadn't picked out with him in mind, making sure that it revealed just the right amount of cleavage, hugged you in all of the right places – and then back up to your face. The movement was small, almost perceptible, but in your wasted state, you were hyperconscious of his every move, of the way his eyes widened when they saw you, the way you could smell the scent of him from where you were standing, masculine, woody, ambery cologne mingled in with the faintest hint of smoke.

You were so drunk that you were practically seeing two of him until you refocused your eyes. So drunk that, for a moment, you couldn't say anything – realizing that you had forgotten to come up with an excuse to see him at that moment – and neither could he.

You were the first one to break the silence. "You're such an asshole."

He didn't look the slightest bit phased by your words. Instead, he reached into his pocket and searched for his lighter, holding it up to the end of the cigarette and striking the wheel until the flame took. 

"You just... left," You swallowed, throat suddenly very dry.

He held the cigarette up to his lips, popping it between them like it was the most natural thing in the world, taking a deep breath. You watched the tension melt away from his shoulders, smelled the nicotine as it wafted up into the air around you. 

Then, finally, he glanced at you, raising an eyebrow, "Yeah."

Your pulse jumped at the sound of his voice for no reason whatsoever. Pouting, you crossed your arms, damn near stumbling as you did so, "You didn't even say anything. No goodbye, no nothing."

"I was stepping out for a smoke," He breathed smoke out into the air. "Didn't think I needed to."

God, he pissed you off. Him and... his... his beautiful, blue eyes, and... fuck.

"You could at least pretend to be fun sometimes," You muttered – you thought it was beneath your breath, but when you caught the way his head tilted at your words, you knew that wasn't the case. So, instead of apologizing for insubordination like you probably should have done, you decided to dig your grave a little deeper. "You just sit in there– hic– all stiff, barely... barely drinkin', actin' like– like you're... too good for the rest of us."

"I'm tipsy enough," He hummed. "Not that that's any of your business, and I wasn't acting like anything."

Now, this was the point where any sane person would have dropped to their knees and apologized to him.

Not you, though.

No, the liquid courage coursing through your veins deluded you into thinking that you could talk some sense into him.

Actually, what came out was something entirely different.

"You were all over Kobeni," You narrowed your eyes. The words left your lips before you could even stop them. Immediately, regret settled in your chest, washing over you in waves – making your face burn. 

There's no way I just said that to him, you chastised yourself internally, Fuck, I'm gonna be fired.

Aki didn't react at first. Just stared at you. Then, after a beat, he let out a short, dry sigh.

"You're drunk."

You pouted, "Not that drunk." (Which was a total lie. You were practically smelling colors).

He studied you again with those fucking... hawk eyes of his, gaze sharp in a way that made your skin crawl with anxiety. He wasn't looking at you the way Kobeni had looked at him – wasn't waiting for something, hoping for something. But he was looking at you. 

Finally looking at you. And somehow, that was worse.

"She was asking me about an upcoming assignment," He commented, voice flat. You should have been grateful that he had even decided to humor you and your drunk interrogation, realistically. "That's it."

He's... surprisingly patient today.

I wonder how far I can push him until he snaps, you thought, not really knowing why – or, for that matter, what the hell had crawled into your brain to control you and make all of these stupid decisions.

You huffed, "Oh."

"Yeah," He pulled another hit from his cigarette, and this time, you observed him – the sinful way his lips wrapped around the end of it, cherry glowing orange while he took another deep breath. Then, you watched him breathe the smoke out through his nose. "You're a real pain in my ass. You know that?"

You didn't know why – the same way you didn't know why everything was happening, but you laughed. It was more like a giggle, really, a bubbly, drunken noise that you practically choked out. Either way, it was enough to have him looking at you like you had two heads.

You stumbled a little closer to him and, to your surprise, he didn't inch away. Instead, his gaze followed your sluggish movements, different, this time – like a cat eyeing up a naive little mouse. Like you were prey.

"What the hell's gotten into you tonight?" He asked.

Stumbling over your feet, you braced your hands on the wall in front of you, dropping your head and laughing a little harder. Truthfully, you didn't know why you were laughing. Nothing was funny. None of this was funny.

Even more truthfully – as you peeled your gaze up from the ground, from Aki's shoes, you realized that you weren't leaning on a wall at all. 

You were leaning on him. 

I'm fucking dead, you thought. If I wake up tomorrow, I'll be handed a letter of termination.

You met his gaze head-on, half-lidded eyes peering up at him through your lashes. He didn't break eye-contact this time. No, he was looking at you the same way you were looking at him – like neither of you knew why any of this was happening, like you weren't quite sure if you wanted it to stop, either, even though you knew it should.

You could see it again – the faint shift in his expression, in the way he looked at you. Something had definitely changed. There was an unreadable glint in his eyes. Maybe if you were sober, you would have been able to tell what it was.

Then again, if you were sober, you would have done the right thing tonight and stayed inside. You certainly wouldn't have been there, leaning on his shoulder, looking up at him and realizing that everything was different. 

It wasn't just the alcohol. No, he was different.

"I hope you're not driving home," He commented, though his voice lacked its usual tenor, its usual confidence. "Not like this."

Why's he actin' so weird?

"Since when did you care?" You pouted. When he said nothing, you answered. "Okay, I walked here."

"Good," He sighed. 

"You wanna walk me home?"

The words slurred out before you could even process them, and you immediately regretted asking. Aki, cigarette hanging loosely between his fingers, exhaled a cloud of smoke, watching you from the corner of his eye, but his gaze didn't soften.

"No."

His response was quick, firm, and just a little too cold. But the way his gaze flickered over you, almost a little too long, made you wonder if he wasn't as unaffected as he wanted you to think.

You blinked, not entirely sure what you were expecting but not that. "Why not?" you asked, and your voice came out more whiny than you'd intended.

Aki didn't immediately answer, flicking the cigarette ash onto the ground, the ember glowing brighter for a brief second. He looked at you, expression unreadable for a moment. Then, his voice was low and tired. "Because I don't feel like it."

You frowned, feeling the weight of his words tug at your chest, though you couldn't fully explain why. "Lame," you muttered. You weren't sure what you were even getting at anymore, but the thought of being alone tonight felt worse than anything else.

He eyed you for a second, but there was something softer in his expression now. Maybe it was the alcohol kicking in for him, too. "You're drunk," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, a gesture you weren't sure was out of discomfort or something else.

You smiled—more like a crooked grin, but you couldn't help it. "I'm not that drunk," you protested, but you swayed on your feet as you said it, and he didn't look convinced.

Aki's lips curled into something between a smirk and a sigh, clearly not buying it. "Uh-huh. Sure, you're not." His eyes flicked to yours again, a little too keen for someone who was supposed to be this dismissive.

"I just... don't wanna be alone," you muttered, the words coming out before you even realized you were saying them.

Aki stared at you for a long moment, and you swore there was a flicker of something in his gaze—annoyance? Amusement? But it passed just as quickly. "Well, that's your problem," he said with a dry chuckle, his tone flat, as though he were trying to make it clear he didn't want to hear it. "Not mine."

You stumbled slightly, both from the alcohol and the sting of his words. "Right," you muttered, trying to steady yourself, feeling the warm rush of liquid courage running through you. But as you stood there, looking up at him, something started to sink in. This was Aki. You knew him. Knew his moods. His indifference. But this, tonight—something was different.

"I... just," you began, trying to find the right words, but they came out jumbled. "Just... help me, okay?" The desperation was there, but you weren't sure if he saw it.

His eyes softened slightly, the sharpness in them dulling just a little as his cigarette burned down to a stub. "Help you? What, do you expect me to just babysit you?"

You winced at the word, the thought stinging more than it should have. "No," you murmured, taking a step closer to him. "I just..." You trailed off, biting your lip. The alcohol was starting to cloud your thoughts even more, but you couldn't shake the feeling that if you didn't convince him now, you'd really be on your own. And you couldn't handle that tonight.

Aki raised an eyebrow at you, clearly unsure of what you were getting at. "What?" he asked, a little too bluntly for your liking.

You stared up at him, breath a little shaky. "Please," you repeated, but this time, there was something more vulnerable in your tone. "Pleeeeeeeasee."

The words felt like a weight that had to be lifted, but they also made you feel foolish. You weren't that drunk. You weren't. But the world felt like it was spinning out of control, and you didn't know where to place your feet anymore.

Aki took a deep breath, dragging a hand down his face as if trying to process everything you'd just said. There was no edge in his voice anymore, just a weariness that made you wonder if you weren't the only one who'd had too much to drink.

"You're really something," he muttered, shaking his head. "I don't even know why I'm putting up with this."

"I'll cry," you said, half-laughing, half-serious. The words felt ridiculous, but they slipped out anyway, desperate in their simplicity.

Aki's gaze softened a little, though the smirk that tugged at his lips was almost imperceptible. "Go ahead," he said, voice flat, but his eyes held something deeper.

The silence stretched between you as you waited for him to backpedal, to somehow take back that easy dismissal. But instead, his shoulders sagged, and he sighed, long and loud. He took a last drag from his cigarette, flicked it to the ground, and ground it out beneath his heel.

"Fine," he muttered, and the words caught you off guard. "I'll walk you home."

For a moment, you didn't believe him, like the weight of what he was agreeing to was still sinking in. You blinked, slightly stunned. "Wait, really?"

He shot you an incredulous look, though his eyes softened just a little, like he was too tired to argue anymore. "Yeah, really. Can we go now, before you start actually crying?"

You blinked, a small, unsteady laugh slipping from your lips. You hadn't expected him to cave so easily, and it made you feel like you'd gotten away with something. But then, the weight of what you'd just gotten him to agree to settled in. You didn't want to push your luck any further.

Aki took a step back and gestured toward the door of the izakaya, his voice dropping lower. "We can't leave together. Not like this. If people see us leaving at the same time, it'll look weird."

The realization hit you. Of course. Everyone had been watching you all night, and there was no way you could just stroll out of there with him without someone noticing. "Right," you mumbled, feeling a little embarrassed at how quickly you'd forgotten about that. "Okay. You go first."

He nodded, his expression softening just a touch. "I'll wait a few minutes, make it look like I'm staying." He gave you a dry look, his lips curling into that familiar smirk. "Try not to make a scene on your way out. Himeno's gonna wonder what's going on."

You winced, the reminder of Himeno's playful teasing still fresh in your mind. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be fine," you muttered, more to yourself than to him. You were still trying to process the fact that Aki—Aki—had actually agreed to walk you home.

He gave you a brief nod before turning to head toward the back of the bar, disappearing behind a row of drunken patrons and laughter, the sound of his footsteps muffled by the noise inside.

You took a deep breath and steadied yourself, trying to ignore the swirl of thoughts that followed you like a second layer of fog. You'd barely had enough time to process everything that had happened between you two tonight, let alone now have to pretend like nothing was different.

You swayed a little as you turned back toward the group, feeling that odd combination of exhilaration and dread settling in your chest. When you reached Himeno's side, she was already watching you with that sly little grin of hers. She could probably read you like a book, even if you were still half-drunk.

You straightened your shoulders, trying to force a smile. "I'm heading out," you told her, your voice still a little shaky. "Long day tomorrow."

Himeno raised an eyebrow but said nothing for a moment, like she was trying to make sense of something you weren't telling her. "Uh-huh. Sure," she replied, her voice a little too casual for your liking. "Alright. Be careful. You arewalking home, right?"

You nodded quickly, swallowing down a lump in your throat. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'll be fine."

Himeno eyed you for a beat longer before shrugging. "Okay. Have a good night," she said, her smile unreadable.

With that, you gave her a brief wave and turned to walk out of the izakaya. The door swung open, the chilly night air rushing in and hitting you like a bucket of cold water. You paused just outside, feeling the weight of the night settle around you.

Aki had said he'd wait a few minutes, and you weren't sure whether to be nervous or relieved.

Your feet shifted restlessly, the cold air biting at your skin as you leaned against the brick of the building, trying to look casual—like you weren't waiting for him at all.

You glanced around. The street was quieter now, with fewer people out and about, but still, the idea of walking home with Aki felt... strange. The thought of him so close to you, especially after everything that had happened, was almost more than you could handle.

Just when you thought maybe it'd be better to leave and get it over with, you heard footsteps behind you. Aki's figure appeared through the dim light, moving with the usual purposeful strides that somehow felt different tonight.

Without saying anything, he walked past you, his shoulder brushing yours just slightly as he headed down the street. He didn't stop, didn't turn around, and you could feel the shift in the air. The tension between you was undeniable now.

For a moment, you just stood there, your feet feeling rooted to the spot. You weren't sure what to do. You didn't want to make it obvious that you were waiting for him, but at the same time, you couldn't shake the odd sense of unease creeping over you. What was happening? What wasn't happening?

Finally, you exhaled, pushing yourself off the wall and walking slowly toward him. You didn't call out; it wasn't like you had to. It was clear that he wasn't planning on walking that far away from you.

Aki moved at a steady pace, hands shoved into his pockets as he walked ahead, the cool breeze tugging at the collar of his jacket. You felt a weird, unfamiliar pressure building in your chest as you matched his steps, not sure if you were keeping your distance on purpose or if it was because you didn't know where to start.

When you reached his side, you glanced at him briefly. He didn't acknowledge you, not really. It was like you were walking side-by-side by accident, like this was just some strange, unspoken part of the night that neither of you could quite comprehend.

You couldn't help yourself. "So," you started, your voice a little wobbly. "I didn't think you'd actually do it."

Aki turned his head, those sharp eyes of his flicking over you. "What? Walk you home?" he asked, voice rough around the edges. He didn't look at you like he normally did. There was something more distant about it, almost like the alcohol had drawn a line between you.

You nodded, feeling the weight of his presence beside you. "Yeah. Didn't think you were... I don't know, the type."

He snorted softly, a smirk tugging at his lips. "I'm not," he muttered, as if it was obvious. "But you were whining enough to make me reconsider."

Your stomach twisted at the thought of how easily he gave in to you tonight, like it was no big deal. But then again, you weren't sure if that was comforting or more uncomfortable.

You walked a little further before speaking again, your voice barely above a whisper. "So, what now?" You were almost afraid to ask, but at the same time, you had to know. Was this just a one-off thing? Was he going to pretend none of this had happened?

Aki didn't answer right away. Instead, he kicked a small rock out of the way, his eyes focused straight ahead. "We're going to your place," he said, his tone back to its usual flatness. "Wherever that is."

You didn't know why, but you couldn't shake the knot of disappointment tightening in your chest.

Before you could process it, Aki's voice broke through your thoughts again, low and dry.

"You good, or you gonna keep asking me questions?"

You swallowed hard, suddenly too aware of your drunken haze. "I'm good."

A moment passed. You paid close attention to the sound of your heels on the pavement, the sound of his sneakers touching the same surface. 

"I just realized I don't even know your address," He added, almost like he felt bad about shutting you up. 

"I live at the– uh... you know where the post office is?" You rattled off the top of your head. He seemed like a man with a good sense of direction.

He nodded.

"Okay, well, I live right across from it. At the apartment complex," You finished.

His eyes narrowed, "That's only three blocks away."

"Yup," You nodded.

"You really couldn't walk that on your own?" He reiterated.

"Nope."

The cold air against your skin had sobered you just enough to think more clearly, but you still couldn't shake the feeling that something was... off. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol still buzzing through your system or the strange tension between the two of you, but the air felt heavy.

Aki was walking beside you, as stoic as ever, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket. He hadn't said much since you left the izakaya, and you weren't sure if that was his usual silence or if something else was bothering him. Either way, it had you on edge, and you couldn't resist breaking the silence.

"So... tonight's been pretty weird, huh?" you said, glancing sideways at him as you tried to read his expression. You needed something from him, but you weren't sure what.

Aki didn't respond right away. He just gave you a quick glance, his sharp eyes flickering over you before he answered. "Weird how?"

You shrugged, feeling the alcohol's effects still lingering on your tongue. "I don't know. You've been quieter than usual."

Aki didn't seem particularly moved by that observation. "I'm not in the mood for small talk."

You exhaled in frustration, rubbing your eyes with your sleeve. "I guess not. But it's just... I've been acting weird tonight. Doing things I wouldn't normally do."

"Like what?" Aki asked, his voice flat but with a slight hint of curiosity.

"I kissed Himeno," you blurted, half-smiling to yourself at how ridiculous it sounded coming out of your mouth. You almost regretted saying it. But it had to be said, right?

Aki's head turned just slightly, but his face didn't change. "Yeah, and?"

You blinked, a little caught off guard by how quickly he dismissed it. "You know... it was a kiss. Just... fun, I guess."

"Fun," Aki repeated, though his voice was laced with a certain dryness. "Right."

You kept walking, feeling an odd twist in your stomach at how unbothered he was. You'd expected more of a reaction—something. Maybe you were wrong about trying to make him jealous. Maybe he didn't care at all.

But you didn't want to admit that. Instead, you pressed on. "She's a good kisser, though. Didn't think she had it in her."

Aki shot you another glance, his lips pressed together in a thin line. You could see the faintest shift in his expression, but it was gone so quickly you weren't sure if you imagined it. "Himeno, huh? You really go for the easy ones, don't you?"

It was a subtle jab, but it still managed to hit something inside of you. "I wouldn't say 'easy,'" you muttered, trying to shrug it off. "But yeah, I guess I've got a thing for—what?—fun, spontaneous stuff. You know, the kind of thing you wouldn't normally do."

Aki didn't answer right away, and the silence stretched between you. You could feel his eyes on you, but it wasn't the usual detached kind of look. No, this time, it felt like something more. Something that tugged at you, made your chest tighten in a way that was impossible to ignore.

"I've heard she's kissed just about everyone in the division. Wanted to see what the hype is all about," You tried again, "Have you tried it?"

Finally, Aki spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't kiss my coworkers. If it was just fun, then why are you still talking about it?"

You stumbled in your step, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten. "I don't know," you admitted, your voice a little unsteady. "Maybe I just wanted to see if it would get a rise out of you."

What the fuck.

Why did I just say that?

Aki didn't look at you, but you could feel the slight shift in his posture. His shoulders tensed, just a little, as if he were trying to suppress something. "And what would you do if it did?"

"I don't know," you said, a little too quickly. "I just wanted to see if I could get you to show some... something. You know? Anything. You're always so cold towards me."

Aki was quiet for a moment, his jaw tightening as if he were holding something back. "You're a pain in the ass."

You almost laughed at that, a little breathless. "Yeah, I know."

But there was still something there. Something in the way he'd said it—something just beneath the surface. You weren't sure if it was jealousy, but it was definitely something. Aki wasn't being completely himself, and it was enough to make your heart beat just a little faster. But you weren't sure if it was what you thought it was.

"Did it work?"

Aki suddenly stopped walking, and you nearly collided with him. He turned to face you, his eyes locking onto yours in a way that made your breath catch. "Don't start up again. You're drunk."

You smiled, a little too wide, too tipsy to care. "I'm not that drunk," you said, though the slur in your words gave you away.

Aki's eyes narrowed just slightly, his expression unreadable. "You're still making me walk you home."

You shrugged, too giddy to care. "Yeah, guess so. I'm... not really in any shape to walk by myself."

He muttered something under his breath, a faint exhale through his nose that could have been a laugh, but it wasn't. It was something else. "You're lucky I'm not putting you in a cab."

You grinned at that, though you felt a twinge of something you couldn't quite explain. "You're just saying that 'cause you're being nice tonight."

Aki shot you a quick glance. For a moment, the playful banter fell away, and there was an unexpected quiet between you. You both kept walking, the sound of your footsteps the only thing filling the space between you. It was hard to tell if anything had changed, but it felt different somehow. The weight of the night was still there, but there was something new, too—a strange kind of closeness.

You turned to look at him again, but this time, the words caught in your throat. You didn't want to ask him, not now, not when you didn't know if it was a mistake.

But then, in a flash, you tripped.

Your heel caught on the uneven pavement, and you felt your body lurch forward. Before you could even react, Aki was there, his hand gripping your waist with surprising gentleness, steadying you before you could fall.

"Careful," he muttered, though his tone was almost... softer than usual.

He's so hot.

He's so hot and I'm tired of hiding it, you thought. Why do I want him?

Fuck! He's such an asshole.

"I'm fine," you said, shaking it off with a breathless laugh. "I'm just a mess tonight."

Aki didn't respond, but you felt his hand tighten around you just a little. The next thing you knew, he had shifted, his arm going around your waist and lifting you effortlessly over his shoulder.

"Hey!" you protested, half-laughing, half-protesting. "Put me down, asshat!"

Aki didn't even glance at you as he started walking again, his tone dry but with a hint of something else beneath it. "You can barely walk straight."

You grinned, a little more giddy than you should have been. "You're gonna hurt yourself!"

"Relax," He sighed. Still, he handled you with a dizzying ease. Like you didn't weigh anything at all.

I knew he was strong, but...

"Do you work out?" You spat out.

He didn't respond, his steps measured and steady, though there was something... different. 

"Of course I do," He answered, like that should have been obvious. "Never know when I'll have to carry a drunk idiot back to their apartment."

His posture was firmer than usual, and for a split second, you could have sworn there was a small, satisfied edge to his voice. Maybe you weren't imagining it.

The night was still strange, but as Aki carried you through the darkened streets, you couldn't help but wonder just how much of this was real—and how much was a game you both were playing without even realizing it.

Aki carried you up the three blocks with the same steady pace, his grip around your waist unwavering as the night air nipped at your skin. Each step he took was deliberate, his posture firm, almost casual as though carrying you wasn't the slightest bit out of the ordinary. But you could feel his muscles shift under the weight of you, his body solid against yours, and it was hard to ignore how easy he made it look.

For a moment, it felt like the entire world had faded out—just you, him, and the soft thud of his footsteps on the pavement.

The dark streetlights flickered overhead, casting long shadows across the sidewalk as you glanced at the city around you. Aki's pace didn't falter as he walked, but you were still aware of how close you were to him, how warm the space between you had become. It was like there was an invisible tension that grew the further you got to your building, one that neither of you could shake, no matter how casual the night seemed.

You shifted on his shoulder, trying to adjust, but the dizzying sway made you a little unsteady. "You really don't have to carry me, you know," you muttered, half-laughing at the absurdity of it all. "I'm not a child."

Aki didn't respond immediately. His fingers tightened just a little, a firm grip that told you he wasn't letting go until you were safely where you needed to be. Finally, he let out a quiet breath and murmured, "You're acting like one."

You rolled your eyes, but it wasn't like you could do anything about it. You were too comfortable in his hold, too grateful for how effortlessly he was handling the situation. "Okay, Dad, fff-fuck you."

You really needed to learn how to hold your own liquor.

"Not my fault you need someone to take care of you when you drink," Aki muttered, but the words held a different meaning. You didn't know if it was the alcohol or just your imagination, but there was something softer, almost protective in his tone. The walls he usually kept up were still there, but they were cracked just enough for you to catch a glimpse of something else.

Before you knew it, the three blocks had passed, and Aki had stopped right in front of your apartment building. He gently set you down on your feet, but you wobbled as soon as your heels hit the ground.

"Careful," Aki said, his voice low but with an undercurrent of concern.

You gave a half-hearted attempt at standing straight, but it was futile. "I'm fine," you muttered, your fingers fumbling for your keys in your purse. The alcohol was still buzzing in your head, making it hard to concentrate, but you finally felt the familiar cool metal of the key between your fingers. "Just—just give me a second."

Then, you dropped the damn thing. It fell to the floor with a frustrating clatter. With a groan, you bent over, plucking them off the ground and–

For a moment, you could have sworn you saw his eyes lingering on your backside.

No, it's just a trick of the light, you thought, I'm fucking plastered.

Still, it made you straighten up a little faster than you probably should have, locking eyes with him as you regained your balance. His expression was unreadable, but you didn't miss the way his lips tightened slightly, like he was keeping himself in check. Or maybe it was just his usual lack of interest. Either way, the tension between you two wasn't lost on you.

"Thanks for walking me, Captain," you said, trying to brush it off and make light of the moment. You threw in a sloppy salute, the gesture clumsy and half-hearted. You weren't even sure why you'd done it. Maybe to break the silence. Maybe because you needed to be something other than nervous.

Aki raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "You really trying to salute me now?"

You just grinned, more out of awkwardness than anything else, and straightened yourself up again. "It's the least I can do. I'm lucky I didn't trip over my own feet the whole way."

He rolled his eyes at your antics, but there was something softer in his gaze as it met yours. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was just the way the moment had lingered, but something felt a little different, like the usual distance between you both was starting to shrink.

Neither of you spoke for a beat, the silence hanging heavy in the air. You couldn't help but feel the weight of it. You knew you were both trying to act like this was just another night—nothing special, just a little drunk and out of place—but there was something in the quiet. Maybe it was the way Aki was standing a little closer, or how his usual guarded expression had softened, just a little, in a way you weren't used to.

You finally broke the stillness, desperate to fill the void. "You know," you started, your voice just a little slurred, "You're not as bad as you act."

Aki's eyes flicked over to you, his gaze narrowing in that familiar, assessing way. But you could've sworn there was a slight glimmer in his eye, something you couldn't quite read. "What's that supposed to mean?"

You grinned, not entirely sure what you were saying, but the words felt right. "You're actually kind of... cool, under all that grumpy, 'I hate everyone' thing you have going on."

Aki didn't respond right away. Instead, he just stared at you for a moment, like he was weighing the meaning of your words. You weren't sure if you meant it or not, but there was a certain honesty in the moment that you couldn't ignore.

"You don't know what you're saying," he finally muttered, his voice lower than usual, but not in the usual sarcastic way. He was almost... mellow, in a way you hadn't expected.

For a split second, you considered what he said—how he didn't shrug it off immediately, how his expression hadn't closed back up. It wasn't a compliment, not really, but it was something that almost felt like one.

You shifted awkwardly on your feet. "No, really. You're really cute when you're not being an asshole."

Why did I say that? Why did I say that? Why did I say that?

Oh, my god, You winced the moment the words left your lips. You were astronomically fumbling tonight – a feeling that made your whole face flush when you realized what you had said.

Aki said nothing at first. Instead, he just stared at you, his gaze a little too intense, like he was trying to read you, trying to figure out what the hell was going on in your head. You could feel the weight of his silence, his eyes on you, steady but unreadable.

Your heart was pounding, and all you could think about was how stupid you must have looked. You needed to get away from this, away from him, before you embarrassed yourself even more.

But before you could come up with an excuse to leave, Aki spoke again, voice slow and calculated, the usual bite of sarcasm absent. "Fuck you."

It didn't sound like a harsh retort. It didn't even sound annoyed. It sounded almost... amused. Like he wasn't angry, just a little perplexed by you. And you hated how that single, simple phrase made your heart race. You wanted to get away from the tension building between you two, but the magnetic pull only seemed to draw you closer.

"You'd be a hell of a lot cuter if you just... shut the hell up once in a while," you said, the words slipping out before you could stop them. There was no filter, no hesitation this time, just the raw honesty that came from being tipsy and irritated by how much you'd been holding in all night.

Aki didn't respond at first. His lips barely moved, but you noticed the subtle shift in his expression. Something in his eyes changed, a flicker of something almost... warm? Maybe it was just the alcohol messing with your mind, but you swore you saw it—his usual guardedness faltering, just a little.

You were standing there, staring at him, feeling that rush of warmth in your chest. There was something in the air, something electric and charged. The proximity between you two felt suddenly so close—and it wasn't just the alcohol making your head spin anymore. It was something else, something real.

You wanted to say something else, something to break the silence, but the words got caught in your throat. You could smell him now, that subtle, comforting scent of him that had always been there, but tonight it felt sharper, more intoxicating. His cologne mixed with the warmth of his skin, and it made your thoughts scatter, dizzy and disoriented.

Before you could stop yourself, your body was moving. You weren't sure why, but it was like something inside of you had completely snapped. You wanted him closer, wanted that distance between you erased.

You didn't think. You just acted.

You stumbled toward him, your hand reaching up without hesitation. In one swift movement, you grabbed him by the tie, yanking him down toward you. He was caught off guard for just a second, but his eyes never left yours. You could feel the tension radiating between you as you pulled him closer, your heart pounding in your chest like it was about to break free.

His breath hitched just barely, his body stiffening for the slightest moment, before he relaxed. The shift was subtle, but it was enough for you to notice. The air around you both thickened, the silence stretching between you until it felt suffocating.

Aki didn't speak. He didn't even try to stop you. He just stood there, still and silent, waiting for whatever you were about to do next.

And then, before you could talk yourself out of it, before you could think of all the reasons why this was a bad idea, you kissed him.

a/n: muaaahahaha.... MUAUAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!! OH MY GODDD AGRHJDSBG i fucking loved writing that last part. i know, hate me all u want for blue balling you. yall know i wont keep u waiting too long tho xx. (jk its a slow burn so i will). (at least the romance aspect is. the smutty aspect? maybe not). please please please let me know what yall thought in the comments, i love love love reading everything you guys have to say. seriously. yall have made my whole entire week LMFAOAOAO. im so glad u love this story as much as i do!! new update should be out soon (not as soon as this one was but who knows we'll see bc im an attention whore and u guys fw this story). ily all xx

credits: einruji__ on twitter . I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

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wanna join the taglist? | pornstar ; chapter index

[fantasynsuch]

Adam Stanheight SFW + NSFW headcanons

REQUESTS FOR SAW OPEN!

2.3k words

Sfw

How you meet!

you two meet probably in the hallway of your crappy apartment complex.

you run into him from the corner, he had his headphones in and was listening to it on full volume, and you were running late for work

crashing head first into neighbor? you dick he probably thinks to himself as he realizes he just ran into his neighbor.

he'd seen you around before: mostly rushing to whatever crappy retail job of the month you had

he had thought you were really beautiful, but he was a coward at heart, so never did anything about it

this time he didn't have the choice to not interact with you: well, without looking like a dick

"I am SO sorry. I'm such a dumbass." He rushes out before he can think

Youre still kinda in a little bit of shock, so you just look up at this incredibly handsome man who just face planted into you for a long while

he thinks your silence is you rejecting his apologies and he quietly apologizes and runs off

but you just were so enamored by him that you couldn't say anything

at work all you can think about is how you didn't accept his apologies and probably made him feel horrible

you were determined to make things right so after work you grab a couple packs of the smokes you always saw him with from the store and rush to his apartment

you timidly knock on his door and wait with bated breath

he sees you through the peephole and momentarily considers not answering it

but he sees the bag you have in your hand and is curious

he opens it, fully expecting to be yelled at for running into you

but all that happens is you raise the bag up quickly and say "i'm so sorry i didn't say anything, i feel so bad. i just was in shock because you're s-" you stop and say nothing after realizing your rambling

he looks in the bag and notices the smokes

you smile at him shyly

and that starts a beautiful relation

how you are as friends

you stay over ALOT

he tends to not eat the best so you make him alot of dinners and lunches to make sure he's eating regularly

his work as a professional stalker keeps him up at odd hours so those pre made meals are rlly a life saver

buying each other candy and snacks alot

when the other was having a rough month fiancially, you would try to pick up the slack andhelp them

that means buying the other small groceries and items to get them through till the next check

you stay over sm the other has toiletries like tooth brushes n soap at the others place

going to parties together but only talking to one another bc ur both not super extroverted

you just go for the free alcohol

speaking of which,,, taking care of each other when the other is drunk

he holds ur hair when ur sick in the toilet,

you rub his back when he's sick

when the other is actually ill as in cold or the flu, bringing each other soup n montioring each others temp

making sure the other takes their meds to get better

inevitably the other gets sick with the same thing, but it just ends up the same way with the other taking care of u

leaving notes in his mail slot when he's busy, and since its 2004, no fast messaging so "coming over at 5!! xoxo" in his mail slot

he lives kinda like a typical man with basically only a chair and essentials , bare ass living room

taking him to the thrift store to get like a decent couch n maybe an arm chair

helping him expand his wardrope to something beyond crappy second hand flannel n white shirt (preferably without blood on it)

helping him get through his trauma over the trap

you cant exactly help him get over it, but ur there when he has bad moments

holding him while he sobs in ur lap

just stroking his hair n reminding him hes here n not at the god awful bathroom

it really calms him down and reminds him he is present in this moment, not that one

he sometimes gets insecure about his scar on his shoulder and tries to hid it but you remind him that he shouldnt be embarassed for being strong enough to survive

helping him get back into normal non stalkery photographer- his need to make money to live kinda outweighed his desire to just take pics of birds

speaking of which: he def loves nature photography

he lives in new jersey, so its rare he gets to do that, but its a nice treat

road trips with him n he spends the whole time as a passenger princess asking you to stop n take pics of a dead tree that has a rlllly nice backdrop

ur crappy car probably breaks down once or twice but its part of the adventure

In a relationship

kisses. lot of f'ing kisses

neck kisses, forehead kisses, navel kisses. any types!

probably is the little spoon lbr

follows ur lead for the most part

want to go to the theatre? it may take out half his money but he WILL pay for the date

probably gets u sweet treats alot n writes a little note that says "love you babe!"

he def clings to you everywhere u go

got to go to the kitche? catch him hugging u from behind n not letting go

can't fall asleep without each other anymore

he used to have a twin sized mattress but he decided to buy a full after u moved intogether

speaking of which, he definitely moved into your apartment

you have a two bedroom n that allows him to have a red room for his photography and a bedroom

he probably only had a redroom and slept on the couch at his apartment tbh

typical man

very clean n likes to take showers with you

his fav thing is his hair being washed by you

the scraping on his scalp is incredibily grounding

he loves washing you as well, and not in a sexual way.

theres something so domestic about cleaning each other that he loves.

ultimately i think his interactions with cheating rich men has spoiled a bit of his view of marriage, but with you he really can see himself settling down and being a forever thing. beyond everything, he trusts you

he craves domesticity so he will enjoy providing for you and helping with the house

loves to cook, his mom probably taught him

doesn't really have a jealousy problem, though he can get jealous from time to time

very rare, but if he does, there might actually be a substantiated reason

doesn't want kids atm, as he can barely support himself and you.

waiting up for you to get home no matter how tired he is

wants to make sure you're home safe

rlly co dependent directly following the trap. can't be in the bathroom by myself, it reminds him too much of the trap. he needs you to be in the room with you while you speak to him through the curtain, or even better, being in the shower with you.

needs constant reassurance he isnt a burden on you

he feels like you don't deserve to be with a man who has so many problems

you tell him constantly that you will be there no matter what

holding hands just to remind him of your presence.

calms him down alot more than you expect

if you happen to be late getting home from work, he may partially freak out: thinking you left him finally

you'll find him sobbing on the couch curled in on himself

he's so vulnerable after lawrence left him there

he doesn't know that lawrence didn't break his promise intentionally so he holds alot of resentment for him

kissing his cheeks and telling him you'll never leave

onto more happy things:

MOVIE NIGHTS!!! you religiously watch movies together and spend most of the time talking about the stupidity of the characters or something.

never meeting his parents bc he's not on good terms with them

LOVES THAT YOURE ABOUT HIS HEIGHT, he's not a tall man and has never been insecure about his height, but the fact he's eye level with you makes it extremely intimate in his opinion

or if you're taller than him, his man brain goes ooga booga and thinks "tall woman/man" and all bets are off

NSFW

okay, to go ahead and put this glaringly obvious thing out there: HE HAS A THING FOR BEING A SUB!!!

He needs you to take control and tell him what to do

grab him by his hair and shove him in between your legs? yes ma'am

ask him to kneel and eat you out on a hardwood floor? done

he absolutely would do anything for you

he needs reassurance what he's doing is good: and rest assured, it is

he probably is a bit messy, and not very controlled

sloppy licks and desperate sucks are common

same thing for when he's inside you

ragged thrusts and a desperate pace

hes probably desperate bc you havent let him cum the whole session

his cock is probably a bit under average length wise, but good god is his girth something to marvel at

everytime he takes you he stretches you

very skinny man, and once you get your claws into him, he probably gains weight which gives him a cute bit of chub that you love to grab onto while he's thrusting into your hole haphazardly.

its almost like a leash

he absolutely needs direction the first couple times, hes so nervous he's shaking

you ask if he wants to keep going and he nods quickly n says theres nothing he's ever wanted more, but assuming this is following the trap, he absolutely needs someone to tell him what to do

could definitely get off from watching you cum (it's def happened before, his poor red cock hadn't been touched all night beyond the grinding on the bed he's hidden from you while eating you out and seeing your intense pleasure just,, he couldn't hold on anymore)

probably circumcised with a tasteful amount of hair, enough to be cute but not enough to be annoying

his nipples are probably so sensitive and he doesnt even know it, he's never thought to play with them

the first time you brush them he gasps and leaks precum

from then on they become a regular part of your routine when playing with him

PLEASE CALL HIM A GOOD BOY!!!

the first time you do, his head is thrown back in ecstasy from your mouth on his cock, and when you pull up, you tell him to look at you while still stroking his cock, and you say "youre my good boy. cum for me my baby boy."

he immediately cums and is embarrassed for weeks, even with your reassurance that it was the hottest thing you've ever seen

speaking of head, he loves getting it but he absolutely enjoys giving it more

theres something so sexy about being able to lick you to completion

when he gets head, he's so lost in his own pleasure that he forgets to breathe and when he remembers, he takes deep breaths

is so in love with your body

he thinks your the hottest person he's ever seen

would probably want to call you mistress or momma. i dont make the rules

RIDE HIM RN

he loves when you're on top, it makes him feel so helpless

alright so: he definitely wants you to peg him

grip his hands and place them above his head, and shove his head into the mattress

anything

his fav position is with his ass up in the air with his head shoved in a pillow and his cock hanging pitifully untouched. shove your strap into his ass while he begs you to make him cum

grab his face and kiss him while he wails out from the pleasure

shove your tongue down his throat,,, something!!

IN THE ODD OCCASION HE IS FEELING DOMINANT!!

rare

but it happens

he isn't some hard dom who leaves you bruised up

he will take care of you just like he does when he's subbing, but he won't let you order him around

grabs your neck and just holds. not enough to prevent you breathing, but enough for you to know its there

still sloppy either way

with him, aftercare is a must

thing is: you can't leave him alone after he's finished subbing, as it sparks some trigger that brings him back to the bathroom, where, in his mind, lawrence left him to die

you have to take him with you

you found out after he cries out and practically tackles you begging you to not leave and to stay with him and to not abandon him

its alot of rambling, but once you get him to calm down, he is pretty embarrassed, but you understand

you tell him to get up and hold his hand, or hug, while walking to the bathroom

wiping a rag on his oversensitive cock to clean it and seeing his face scrunch up is ur fav thing

you might make him eat his cum out of you to clean you up, but it just depends on how he feels. and it might start up a whole nother round so its a gamble

he probably doesn't fall asleep immediately afterward, and will stay there stroking your hair while you sleep to remind himself you're there, you aren't leaving and you love him

LOTS OF LOVE YOU'S DURING AND AFTER!!

something about you telling him you love him does something: it might be from him feeling useless and like a burden

when he finally sleeps, he's the little spoon and he whispers a quick,"thank you"before nodding off

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!!! I LOVE ADAM AND SAW AND AND pLS REQUEST SOMETHING!!

[elainsgirl]

Azriel also barely knew Elain during the cauldron scene. They had just interacted once. Meanwhile when gwyn gets kidnapped, he had already felt a spark in his chest and they were friends. All of their scenes happen before the blood rite. Yet despite all of the “obvious mate language” he shows no mate behavior. We know that if Elain had been taken, Azriel would’ve reacted the same way Cassian did.

@elrielffs just made a rlly good post on this exact point,

Gwynriel’s point out how there’s mate language between gwynriel (there literally isn’t) however they can’t actually prove gwynriel are mates because Azriel has never once shown any mate instinct towards Gwyn. At what point is the potential bond going to snap for gwynriel? it didn’t snap between them when Gwyn was in danger twice like it did with Feysand & Nessian. So When is Sjm going to start showing us that Az and Gwyn are mates? Bcs here’s the thing:

You have Azriel’s eye fill with rage as he says he will get Elain back. He went to enemy territory- tho it would have been more useful of him to have stayed back and kept himself out of harms way so he could have been in top shape for the war - yet he still went to save Elain. Just like with the BR he could have died - yet did Azriel care? No. He went regardless. All of this was written so impactfully between elriel despite the fact we didn’t have Azriel’s pov - you could feel his determination. You felt his panic when elain was gone & then to get the chains off her.

Compare this to gwynriel w the same stakes: Azriel’s only reaction is his siphons flaring that too - BOTH Emerie & Gwyn were mentioned. Thats it. You tell me, which one is more mate like? Which one is more romantic?

If Sjm is trying to foreshadow gwynriel as mates 1) its a bit too late considering the mate imagery and scenes used already for elriel 2) shes doing a terrible job. The fact you pointed out how he felt the spark in his chest prior to Gwyns kidnapping- and if that was a mate bond coming to life, then his reaction to Gwyn being taken should have been so much more noticeable and strong. Even after, Sjm could have had Azriel rush to gwyns side, checking on her or mention how Az had gone to check up on her when she went back to the library & once again we get nothing.

If Elain had been the one kidnapped- I just know Rhys would have had too physically restrain Azriel from entering the BR. Even then, the men that took her would not be alive.

[tinsyfairy]

09.20 food diary ! 🍂

*note : this is not intended to encourage anybody or follow my habits i'm just documenting my life and i want to find others who are like me :)

₊⊹ intake limit : 1.3k

₊⊹ water intake : 1.5L

₊⊹ f4st¡ng time : 21 hrs

⌗ breakfast :

– n/a

⌗ lunch : banana toast 🍞

– low c4l pumpkin spice latte (87)

– 2 slices of toast (130)

– 2 tbsp choban¡ yog (39)

– 1/2 banana (53)

> total : 309

⌗ dinner : fish sandwich 🥪

– 2 tilapia fillets (200)

– 2 pieces of bread (130)

- cheese (35)

- 1 handful of spinach (7)

– sweet corn (90)

> total : 461

other :

– 1/2 banana (53)

– 12 baby carrots (49)

– sf cherry jello (5)

> total : 107

☆ total : 877

☆ burned : 593 / 18k st-ps / 10 min y-ga

☆ net : 283

— log :

hi friendsss!! its rlly late so i rushed to make this log!! anyways I officially escaped 140 jaill !! anyways I wasn't that hungry today so I stopped my f-st pretty late but when I did start e-ting I felt even more hungry?! idk how to explain it T_T had a b-nge urges after dinner and im really hoping they go away but if anything I'll just up my intake tmrw. tmrws busy bc im going shopping but on the brightside ill be distracted andd I might get my mom to buy me more safe foods while we're out?? stay safe n hydrated :P

[haxo-wolfie]

my honest thoughts on burst angel after watching it:

i really enjoyed it! but i feel like alot of things weren't clear or explained like at all unfortunately

just because i say i enjoyed it doesnt make up for the fact that the anime is bad

though i do really enjoy all the characters, they were written very well. the plot was just really all over the place. episodes would start where i wouldnt know what the fuck was going on that really shouldnt happen!

jo and meg should've definitely been around 18-19 and sei should atleast be like mid-late 20's. the canon ages are stupid and i hate how much they sexualized meg as if they didnt make her a literal child. it wasnt as prevalent in the beginning but i feel like the mid episodes really started making her fanservicey.

i think the designs are fine, but i would tweak them to make them less like. revealing. ( minus sei. shes fine since shes an adult ) amy doesnt need the tummy window shes like fucking 9

the ending was super rushed and i wish it would explain things better, but i kinda like the idea that meg kinda takes up jo's work. i kinda imagine if there was ever another season or a sequel to burst angel, there would be signs of jo outside tokyo and meg makes it her mission to find her once again. ( im still cooking w/ this idea but i still think its rlly cool )

i feel like meg should have somewhat kept her clothes and just added jo's jacket onto it to kinda make her own identity bc i feel like her just getting jo's clothing is lazy character design

the worldbuilding is really good but poorly executed.. the fact that they're making mutant people and then using their brains to make powerful, intelligent, military war robots is insane and i really like it. but then again, the episodes felt rough with explaining it and i didnt really get what they were doing until like episode 12

most of the fights were really fucking cool, especially with the mechs. they honestly really impressed me

i really enjoyed those tender moments jo and meg have, it was really heartbreaking to see jo hit her unconscious so she wouldnt get hurt thought.

i wish they had meg be in more fights instead of her being a damsel in distress most of the time. like i understand shes not some hyperflexible fighter like jo, but i'd be nice to see her kick ass too

THEY NEED TO REANIMATE/REMAKE BURST ANGEL IN THE OVA'S STYLE LIKE IMMEDIATELY. The OVA did everything so right it was genuinely my favorite piece of burst angel media. ( minus the part where meg was being racist but that isnt real to me <3 )

adding onto the last point, i feel like there were points in the anime where they lost the budget and it made me laugh a bit.

i doubt they'd ever reanimate burst angel but if they do god please stop sexualizing them if you're going to keep your characters as minors its weird and gross

ok thats it for my little rant :3 im currently reading the manga and its really fun so far!! im enjoying it. i wish there were more than 17 chapters tho :( a shame

[prettiedup]

hiiii girl ~ huge fan of your work btw

this is a really weird and kind of random ask buttttt I rlly rlly RLLY want to start writing some x black reader! content on here bc it feels like we never have enough of it 😭 plus I love writing so it just seems like a fun hobby to start lmao

soo do you have any tips? like how to gain/keep a following, or how to be consistent with writing schedules? like there are so many amazing writers on here but I want to make a mark without overshadowing them ykwim?? I hope this makes sense lol

Hiiii sweetness ,

Okayyy ik im soososososo late but here r some of mi tips 💕

🎀 watch movies & read books for inspiration (take bits and parts and imagine yourself in that scenario)

🎀 write with no endgame , literally just open a doc and write wtv comes to mind until u cant anymore . Sometimes feeling like u have to upload something can put ur mind in a halt

🎀 take breaks throughout ur writing and reread what u’ve put down so far . Once u process everything your mind will kind of branch off and give u ideas on how to keep it going

🎀 gaining a following is kind of tricky , cus u can have smth that blows up nd u get 300 followers overnight . u can also have something that u put ur all into and gets veri little engagement . I think , remind urself dont write for followers write because its smth u enjoy doing

🎀 Make sure to use tags that yk fs are trending and go with ur fic . If its abt cars tag #cars and not #plants

🎀 trust me babi it is veri unlikely it’ll b viewed as overshadowing . If anything ppl will jus add u to their fav writers list

🎀 if u wanna leave a mark , i think writing lengthy fics wif super super good & engaging plots will help .

🎀 make friends & mutuals . That way u guys can support each other , reblogging goes a long way

🎀 if u do anonymous asks , engage wif people . That way people don’t see u as cocky or like robotic

🎀 dont rush to publish anything !! Youre not gonna write wif ur best potential if u just skim through writing. People use reading as an escape, nd as a writer we want to be as descriptive, thorough, nd engaging as possible

🎀 find a target audience . Frm what u’ve told me , im gonna assume ur hoping to reach black readers . When ur writing be descriptive of the mannerisms of da reader. Dont make them stereotypical but yk how we would respond/act in certain situations lmfaooo . uplift them thru ur works so that people like it enough to repost and ur works gain the attention of even more people in ur target audience

I hope this helps u in any way ! I wld love to support u as you begin writing

[tirasamu]

mai!!!! I saw in one of your recent asks you said you feel awkward on here and I totally understand BUT I just wanna say I love you, your blog, and any writing you post. the vibes you give off are so soft and warm and I just want to wrap you in a blanket and give you hot chocolate with a mountain of marshmallows and keep you cozy at all times yknow???

i mentioned before (anon that remembers nagicore! hihi!) that I was so happy I found your new blog and to be reunited with one of my fav writers! I mean it! I do be checking your blog regularly. this is such a little safe space you’ve curated! (also I saw someone shared links to your old writing and I was so happy I have a place to reread! I die for sunny side up everytime btw) also I am beyond happy to see that your posting everywhere, everything bc I loved it so much! don’t want you to feel pressured to write tho! please take your time. I will be waiting patiently for literally anything you write haha

Anyways enough about then, let’s move on to now! I hope school is going well!! and what you said about your industry switch?? I’m so happy to hear! seeing people find what they love and where they belong (at least something close to it) is always so comforting! wishing you all the best, and sending so much love, hugs and good vibes! —🪽

omg its u again !! my og nonnie 🥹 or i guess i should call u angel nonnie now !! its so funny im using the same pfp i did back then too, koala nagi will forever be on my blog

reading this on my period was a mistake because one paragraph in and my eyes are watery :< my heart grows a little bigger every time someone calls my blog their safe space. i think everyone feels kinda off on here sometimes but getting asks like this make me feel so so grateful i keep coming back T^T i love YOU so much and im so beyond happy that i can give u a little escape <33 i’ll gladly take that hot cocoa but only if u let me bake u something in return and then we share it together

OMG SUNNY SIDE UP !!! I CANT BELIEVE U REMEMBER IT TITLE AND ALL theres like a handful of old fics id love to rewrite and thats def one of them !! but pls dw i dont feel rushed by u at all i promise, i actually feel kinda motivated now !! almost all of my free time lately has gone to drawing or hsr but i miss writing like i used to :<

thank u so so much !! im so excited ab it too, its something i had on my mind for a little while and i was so nervous ab it but everyone irl has been so supportive ab it w me. its going to be a lot of work so im taking a little break before diving back into school all over again but im so so happy w my decision !! i hope everything has been going okay w u too and u’ve been taking good care of urself and getting lots of rest <333

i love u w all of my heart, thank u so much for stopping by just to be so kind 🫂🤍 i rlly do mean it when i say stuff like this means the world to me and i never ever forget it

[taserblade]

omg monday was such a good day!!

hot manager opened n i brought us energy drinks!! he gave me a big hug when i walked in, n then showed me the paper him and a coworker were burning (burning her stats to say shes on fire like doin good i believe??). this all made sense when he said he only got like three hours of sleep.

after that me n him sat in the office n just talked for awhile n i had finally washed my new underwear so i could show him!! he liked them :-)) then we decided to open the restaurant late n chill for a bit longer, buT THEN!! BUT THEN!! oh my fuckin god he let me literally pull out his dick and the only reason i wasnt confused when he just stood infront of me with his hands behind his head was bc him n a coworker literally were having a conversation ab how they r during blow jobs (i dont remember how we got there, hot manager and john cena cannot be in a room together for more than 5 mins without makin a dirty joke) and he said he was the lean back type of guy. anyways, he had told me many time how big it was but like omg its actually the perfect size. i wont even lie i wanted to put it in my mouth but i got nervous god i was probably so fucking red. he put it away and we continued talkin for while before it was finally time to open.

and the rest of the day was honestly so much fun. it was slow as shit so we just kinda fucked around the whole shift and flirted n just talked ab whatever. like how am i getting paid for this?? dream job fr. god i wish i had had a chance to write this post sooner i feel like im missing so many fun details :-(( so this next section is gonna be random things i remember but i cant remember when!!

OH!! at one point he pulled me in the office and i didnt realize he had ice in his mouth, and he just lifted up my shirt and put it on my nipple like holy fuck i almost fell over kinda knocked my breath out for a sec omg it was fuckin heavenly!! and he also said we should watch evil dead, which ive never seen!! we were talkin ab the terrifier series, which i cannot wait to see the third one with my sis!! n at one point i know he kissed me n spit ice into my mouth, which isnt the first time he’s done that :-))

he left at 4, which i was also supposed to leave at 4, but my relief was serving, and she had this one two too that just wouldnt leave oh my god!! luckily, conspiracy theorist was there, and we deadass talked ab zombies for an hour. lowkey convinced me to read world war z. and this series called zombie fallout? he said he used to get high n listen to the audio books, which sounds ab right for him. i will get high with that man and ask him ab conspiracies (and apparently also have to fight him off from tryin to fuckin me?? im too hot, all the managers want me) i just know i would have a fucking blast.

finally got home around 5:15, n then i went shopping!! i went to marshalls, five below, and ross to look for some fall decorations but i rlly didnt find much. i got two rugs, a bathroom organizer, and some new place mats for our table. i wanted to spend more but there was genuinely nothing there i wanted :-((

got home n told my bf i wanted to go to my sisters work n get some food n drinks up there!! we got there around 7:30 n luckily the rush had just died so she wasnt busy at all. i got two amazing margs n the same food i always get n it was so good omg. and while we were there, she told us that our younger sis snapped her n told her that our mom finally told her shes divorcing our stepdad!! rlly proud of my mom bc shes been saying this for years, but i guess shes finally pulling the trigger!! me n my sister r going bong shopping for her roommate wednesday n we r gonna call her together to get the full scoop.

all in all, monday was a rlly good day n i cant for wednesday to hang out with my sister!! and i know me n hot manager work together on saturday!!

cant wait to tell yall what my mom says!!

[chososcamgirl]

HEYYY SIGMA ALPHA IYAAA GMMM HRUUUU ‼️🔥🤗 DAILLYYY CHECK INNN TIMEEE YK ITT RISE AND GRINDDD 🐺🐺

IM SERIOUSLY LACKING IN MY ASKS RECENTLY SO IM SORRY ABOUT THAT POOPIE PLS DONT BITE ME 😖😰

IM SO GLAD WORK IS GOOD BUT TRY AND GET MORE REST ‼️🔥 U CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN U ALPHA 🤞🐺

IM GONNA RETURN THE CHARGER TODAY (and hopefully buy some things 😈😈) BUT GIRLLL I DO NOTTT WANT TO PAY THAT FEE URNENRNR KINDA WISH I WENT BACK AND RETURNED IT BUT IT WAS RLLY LATE AND WOULD HAVE BEEN DANGEROUS AND A GIRL NEEDS TO GET HER PRIORITIES STRAIGHT YKYK⁉️

OKKK THOUGHTS ON LAST CHAPTER 😈🐺🔥

nadnndbMDNDNEISNSNDNE DNENENEKE FUCK DUXK FIXKKKK I KNEWWWW IT WAS GONNA BE MEGUMI THANK YOU QUEEN FOR NOT GIVING IN TO SUKUNA BECAUSE GODDDDD 😭😭🔥🔥 BUT OMFGG??? “‘YOU SURE YOU DONT WANT TO STAY?’” OH MY GODD I AM SATTT UGHH THE PET NAMES, PERSONALITY SWITCH, EVERYTHING OMFGGG I WOULD HAVE CLUNGGGG ONTO THAT FUCKING MAN OMG YHE CHOKEHOLD THAG THIS CHAPYER HAD ON MEEE UGHHHEHHEHEHESK

IM SUCHHHH A SLUT FOR CLINGY MEN PLEASEEE LIKE OMFG JUST FUCK ME ALR HWBEBEBSKENNEND TWEAKING RN CUS THATS LITERALLY SO 🤗😍🔥😚🤤 I NEED SOMEONE LIKE THAT SOO BAD KEND GNAWING AT MY ENCLOSURE AND DROOLING RN OMG THE WAY I WOULD FORGET ALL OF HIS RED FLAGS LIKE I GUESS YN IS STRONGER THAN ME AFTER ALLLLLL WNNENEN AND THE FACT MEGUMI WAS WAITING FOR THAT TEXT OMGG ITS A NEED NOT A WANT 😍😍 ME AND WHO??? LIKEE WHENS IT MY TURN

the ai anon… I AM OUTTTT TO GET U HOW DARE U HO.. 👿👿 but iya.. ur writing is so fire you got your first allegation.. THATS HOW U KNOWW U MADE IT WHEN PEOPLE START ACCUSING U OF SHIT ‼️ guessing ai anon said that out of jealousy bc they can’t cook like you can iya but still.. ai anon i am OUT to get u 😡😡 the new chapter was SO FULLING KMFG IM FILLEDDD (in more than one way)

THANK YOU FOR BLESSING US ONCE AGAINNN IGNORE AI ANON THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEYRE TALKING ABOUTT UR SO FYA 🔥🔥

toge running in on yn… omfg the way I RECOILED. Like I would just start digging my grave ON THE SPOT bc you KNOW I would never be caught sleeping with the ops (unless toge was the op but he would never be one 🥰😍🤗 [please let me hit im so desperate] “‘…but you owe me.’ There was a glint in his eyes, hinting at the mischief he always seemed to conjure.” OH OKAY 😍😍 WHAT WOULD THE FAVOR BE⁉️⁉️ 🤤🤤🔥

Maki going straight to yuta after the fight… OKAY GIRL GET UR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT 😭😭 how is this man still a side hoe/fwb I’m FUMING for him LMAO someone get them tg already ‼️

Sjap toge ily please marry me 🙏🙏 i can provide a good sense of humor, cunt, and lipgloss please give me a chance 🤤🤤🤗🤗🥰

CANT WAIT FOR NEXT CHAPTERRR DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO RUSH GIRL THE EDGING KEEPS US UP 🤗😍‼️

Sigh.. guess who’s ovulating.. on their own.. on a weekend.. ALONE… cramping… 💔 (hint: it’s me) UGHH I HATEREE BLEEDING MY PUSSY OUTT ESPPP WHEN I GET JT ON MY SHEETS. I WOKE UP TO A MURDER SCENE. ON MY WHITE SHEETS. WHITE. SHEETS. I’ll never recover from this 💔 BUTTTT I means I’ll be period free for the next month!! And that includes HALLOWEEN WEEKENDDDDD SENNENDNEN 🔥‼️ im doing matching costumes w my friends but we don’t know what yet 😭

I HAVE MY AMBASSADOR MEETING TMRWWW GANG WISH MY LUCK ‼️🤗

LYCHEE⁉️⁉️ OMG I LOVE LYCHEE.. THE OLIVE THEORY.. WERE SOULMATES 😍😍

MY HOT TAKE… I HATE DR.PEPPER.. IVE TRIED SOOO HARD TO LIKE IT BUT IT JUST TASTES LIKE CHERRY COUGH MEDICINE 😭🔥

OKOK QOTDDDDD… WHATS A LIFE HACK YOU SWEARRR BY ⁉️⁉️🤞

HOPE U HAVE AN AMAZING DAY/ HAD AN AMAZING DAY ‼️‼️ ILYSMM BYE SIGMA 😈😈

- 🐺

HI ALPHA!!!🐺🐺

NO UR SO OKAY!! i’m getting to ur ask now i promise ill be on top of them more as well😓😓 THANK YEWWW im feeling much better now so im happy <33

GIRL JUST KEEP IT ATP😭 do NAWT pay the fee🫵🫵 $40 is actually ridiculous and yes prioritise ur safety first over anything🙏🙂‍↕️

LMFAO IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT😈😈 sjap megumi is CLINGY. he was waiting for that exact text since they’ve met like and when he got it trust he was jumping up and down😏😏😏 sjap clingy megumi truther FOREVER 💯 also the ai anon I KNOW😭 eh i didn’t really bother w them i know they don’t mean any ill intent but it was just a weird ask to send like atleast don’t put urself on anon and face it but we ball🔥🔥🔥 thank you poo poo 🫂🫂 also i started calling my cat poo poo bc of you and i laugh everytime 😭😭😭

I KNEW YOUD LOVE THE TOGE BIT😭😭😭 fan service for you but omg the favour is going to be [REDACTED] so yeah🙂‍↕️ i NEED to write a sjap toge spinoff after i finish this one i just cannot i know it’ll eat so hard🗣️ YUTAMAKI TRUTHER FOREVER (i still love nobamaki too tho)

NAUR NOT THE WHITE SHEETS😭 omg when i hate when you can physically feel it come out of ur pussy like omg it’s like SUCH A GROSS FEELING EAUGH. BUT YESS HALLOWEEKENDDDD i’m supposed to go my co workers party but idk if i want to LOL i still have no friends in this city besides my co workers but idk i’m content rn i know uni is starting next year but that’s not until 6 more months😭 but we’ll see

YAYY I HOPE IT WENT WELL ALPHA‼️‼️ I KNOW U DID GREAT <3 OMG THE OLIVE THEORY😍😍😍 yes we r soulmates… ive never tried dr pepper mainly bc we don’t have it here so i wouldn’t know😭😭😭

AOTD‼️ IDK MANY BUT the post used one i do is putting a wooden spoon over boiling water so it doesn’t overflow (idk if that counts but yeah) HBY🫵

THANK YEW ALPHA!! I HOPE U HAVE A SUPER SIGMA DAY!! <33

[miracleqmusical]

weeks pass by like days now

theres only 4 days till christmas, how?? i swear yesterday was 12/1. time goes by extremely fast as well when i dont have school. and now that i dont have school i just .. idk. i dont feel real at times, too. being separated from the world and isolated in a house with a ten year old (😭) surely isnt what id like to be spending my time doing. i love talking to my online friends! however.. they get most active past 12am.. like fnaf.. lol

i love staying up late talking to them but i hate the consequences that follow. im tired all day and i risk getting caught! if i get caught being up late especially talking to online friends ohhh my ass is grass.

i uh

i think they are getting like tired of me tho, maybe they are just changing, like friendships do. but i dont want them to change, i dont want us to change. i dont handle loss very well so change always makes me feel its gonna turn into a loss

im nervous

i try to talk to people as much as i can but no response , is it me or the other person ⁉️ i need to make more friends. but at the same time i dont think i could ever build the same bond or relationship (/p) with anyone else the same way i have with my other friends. they hold a special place in my heart. but idk if i have that place in theirs 😰😰

it’ll pass

tomorrow is friday. the next day is saturday. i get to see my cousin! and maybe get stoned . dont ask :3

my dog is supposed to have puppies anytime now. shes been having contractions all day and its stressin me out. i wish she’d just hurry and pop these pups out already. december 22nd sounds like a pretty birthday

i blocked him on twitter today. and now imessage. i dont really have a reason.. i just dont wanna talk to him. at all. ive lost the love i thought i had for him. he wasnt a bad boyfriend i guess but he was a bad friend. well maybe its the other way around… or maybe hes just bad all around. he wasnt the one and i knew it from the start

theres only one guy ive been certain about but i gave up on him a while ago. i also recently thought i liked a friend of mine.. but i think its better if we stay friends :’| love is hard. i dont know how to wait and let it come naturally. well. maybe i do wait.. at least i have been for the past week. but past relationships ive been in felt so rushed!! i dont think i’ll ever be able to love again if i keep loving and loving then getting my heart broke

ive started liking a kids movie franchise. trolls. is that embarrassing? should i be embarrassed? ashamed? im not rlly.. but i feel like if i express it to certain people i’ll get bullied LOL

ive been asking for music recommendations far and wide bc i feel like when someone asks me for recommendations i have nothing to offer. i get a lot of my favorites from tiktok. well.. actually.. most of them are from my friends! i absolutely love listening to the music they give me and thinking abt them the whole time. my friends are how i found laufey, tyler, lord huron, lil peep, and some others. music is probably my favorite thing. ever.

well i think im done yapping. for now. goodbye

[cloudydays69]

Ty for the tag!!! :∆

Tag game with no name game!!!

1. why did you choose your url? I literally have no idea LMAO- It was something I randomly came up with a while back and just rolled with it tbh

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. Nope, none at the moment! Though, I do plan on making some random ones, haven't thought that far yet :p

3. how long have you been on tumblr? I think i joined it about 10 months ago!

4. do you have a queue tag? Nope

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? UHHH ok sooo, I wanted to finally experience it for myself because I wasn't able to when I was younger? (thank FUCK I didn't LMAO) I mainly joined for fandom reasons tho :3

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? I choose my pfps based on the next BIG thing I'm currently into!! I chose this Connor icon bc.... Pretty...

7. why did you choose your header? Same thing as before, usually to go along with the theme/vibe of the pfp

8. what’s your post with the most notes? That FUCKASS smug jug post with 198 notes. The other one is a re-animator anniversary thingy!!

9. how many mutuals do you have? IDEK HOW MANY I HAVE- THERE'S A LOT! (/pos) I love y'all tho, even if I don't rlly know how to express it sometimes /p

10. how many followers do you have? 70!

11. how many people do you follow? 187 :3

12. have you ever made a shitpost? Absolutely LMAO

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? It changes a lot- Like, one day I won't go on here at all, and another I'll be there almost all day

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Nope, luckily ^^"

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? I really don't have an opinion on them, I don't mind posts like that. If I reblog it, I do, and if I don't, I dont

16. do you like tag games? YESSSS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! it's a really fun way to interact with people and I love it :D

17. do you like ask games? SAME AS 16!!!

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? ....@twyz , @bugsb1te and @my-autism-adhd-blog (big blogs with cool art and other stuff intimidate me :<)

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? uhm (it's complicated. I don't know what this feeling is :[ )

20. what is the last song you listened to? Blasphemous Rumors by Depeche Mode :]

21. what are you currently watching? Shows or movies? None atm, on anything else? Just a bunch of tiktok stuff, basically whatever comes on my FYP LMAO

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? SAVORY AND SPICY!!! (not a fan of sweet stuff.)

23. what is your current relationship status? Single and fucking confused man

24. what is your current obsession? OKOKOK SO RN, ITS THE ROBLOX GAME "PRESSURE" AND ELECTRIC DREAMS

25. what are nine albums/songs you've been listening to lately? ALRIGHT BET (I'm going off of my recently played songs... Yea it's all Dm)

Blasphemous Rumors - Depeche Mode

Condemnation - Depeche mode

The Things You Said - Depeche Mode

World In My Eyes - Depeche Mode

Walking In My Shoes - Depeche Mode

Rush - Depeche Mode

It Doesn't Matter - Depeche Mode

If You Want - Depeche Mode

Master and Servant - Depeche Mode

26. Tagging!! @gayfraggle @dandelions-arent-weeds @cervus-canadensi @twyz @just-a-living-meat-thing and anyone else, no pressure :3

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

(thank you for the tag @lianhuajing !!)

1. why did you choose your url? uh. it was a play on "rose tinted glasses"

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. nope!

3. how long have you been on tumblr? I think 2022? i knew about it before, just never bothered to make a blog

4. do you have a queue tag? don't kill me, what's a queue tag?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? I had some Thoughts about Blue Lock and wanted to post meta for it

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? uhh Flora.

7. why did you choose your header? Reo is one of my Blorbos and I just really liked that panel of him

8. what’s your post with the most notes? probably the "do you download fics" poll

9. how many mutuals do you have? about 20? i don't remember

10. how many followers do you have? 120?

11. how many people do you follow? 91

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes. i think.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? an hour?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts meh. some of them are funny i guess

16. do you like tag games? yep! it's nice interaction

17. do you like ask games? i do! but uh. it's a silent empty void here. an echo chamber, if you will.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i have no idea but i see @kingsandbastardz a lot in the mlc community

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

20. what is the last song you listened to? 若梦 by 周深

21. what are you currently watching? i just finished The Double! probably starting on Dashing Youth next

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? The Double,,,,

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

若梦 by 周深

如故 by 张碧晨

如初 by 张碧晨

借过一下 by 周深

万物不如你 by 张杰

Our dawn is hotter than day by Seventeen

Hitorijana by Seventeen

my music taste is kinda...i tend to stick to a few artists...

26. tagging (no obligation to do this!) @randomingoftherandomness @good-vs-evo @chrysofightme @bbcphile

[m-kyunie]

just wanted to doodle the venvan from an AU I thought up at work one day & now obsessively think abt — post canon they go to school in twilight town (w/Roxas, Xion & the twilight gang!!) to experience sum normality :0 

they live in a tiny place & go back to TLoD on weekends. Basically, I just thought it'd b neat if Vanitus became fairly popular (good 2 sports & [unintentionally] funny) while Ven’s feeling sum typa way abt it haha.

later Ven wld overhear Vanitus being confessed to but wld turn away b4 he heard the rejection (u_u. queue 1 tearful convo w/Terra later & hed have to rlly think abt how he views his new dynamic w Vanitus..........to sum it up teehee.

at the end he gets a lil part-time job @ their normal grocery bc he's Bored™ but his coworker is the girl who confessed & now he's gotta deal with that mixed bag bc she Can Tell

[roenais]

cleanin out the askbox! some of these are actually a lil old, so sorry that i missed them they got buried under requests and such </3

GIRL HELL YEAH oh introjects approving my art is like the #1 compliment to me, very glad that its gender even if unintentional!! (also i saw u on my dash with that icon and had a !!! moment hewwo)

awwww thank you, thats rlly sweet. normally id warn against assuming randoms on the internet are good people dmgkemgk but i will absolutely take the compliment and wish u the best too my dude

THANK YOU!! no bother at all omg, ur so sweet. i should rlly do more animations that i actually spend time and effort on cause everything ive posted here was a rush job but lmAO im glad people like it

*throws a cookie into the void* thank u so much

oh yeah i draw all characters with higher up ears and glasses like that! i dont... know if itd actually work in practice? i imagine the arms being like a bendy plastic. like a silly straw or jelly material. but like. what else are they gonna do, tape them on? LMAO

THANK YOU :D im legit so excited that ppl like it cause ive been having so much fun with it lately. win/win situation we r all happy.

SSKFMK my grian is so small. i would feel bad about chibi-ifying him so much but he also calls his own skin adorable so i think i'm allowed. he's not human he's just a skrunkly little guy <3

THANK YOU honestly it seems like people dont put together me and my art sometimes? which is v funny. i am an enigma i guess.

oh dude relatable tho, there are SO many artists that i didnt follow for months even tho i saw and reblogged their art constantly bc i just forgor. heck i didnt even subscribe to any of the hermits until the moon crash lmAO. but thank you!!!! im glad you like it and hope u have a good day too :D

[pluviophile-imagines]

LOWI CONGRATS ON THE FOLLOWER MILESTONE!! 🥺💞💞💞 u deserve it and so much more!! for the kiss prompt could i get 18 with shinsou ?? 🥺👉👈

TYSM SOFFFF so uh. I’ve been fuckin stupid dkfnskfb my dumbass rlly wrote Shinsou correctly on my master post like a week ago and then still managed to write for Shigaraki instead when it came to the actual piece 😳 so thanks to my handyman brainrot you get two—that’s right, two!—characters for the price of one ur welcome ♥️ I cheated a lil bit so shinsou;s not sitting in the reader’s lap it’s just his head but i think its cute 🥺 also Shiggy’s is like twice as long as ive been trying to write them oops i rlly like the jealous reader premise 👉👈 it’s under the read more bc of that and bc of kiiiinda spoilers? if yall arent caught up to the manga you won’t get it but if u are it’s canonical. Whew that was a lot! Enjoy!

Kisses where one person is sitting in the other’s lap

Shinsou

To say that your relationship with Shinsou is new would be an understatement. You’ve been friends for years—ever since the third year of high school when you’d been assigned to him as his support—but you’ve never been particularly close until recently when you’d once again found yourself working on his hero costume and support items.

He’d only asked you out yesterday after nearly two months of tension-filled glances and fleeting touches. Now, the two of you are watching a movie at your mutual friend Kirishima’s apartment, sitting quite awkwardly on a loveseat and pretending like you don’t want to get closer to each other. You haven’t told your friends yet about your new relationship status, but that’s not entirely what’s holding you two back. If anything, it’s run-of-the-mill first date awkwardness (if watching a movie with six of your closest friends around can be considered a date), too afraid to initiate anything.

The movie’s dull; the two of you have pulled out your phones to snark at each other through text, a strategy you’d begun weeks ago after being hushed one too many times by Kaminari because you were talking too loudly. The bright screens probably aren’t all that much better, but you two are in the back anyway; nobody can see it unless they turn away from the TV.

You risk a glance up and end up locking eyes with Shinsou. Your face heats up, heartbeat quickening, as he gives you a charming smile. You watch him glance around the room, unsure at first why he’s doing it until he turns his attention back to you and slowly, silently, moves over across the loveseat into your personal space.

Your legs are touching now, faces so close your nose is nearly brushing his. One of his hands has come to brace against the armrest you’re leaning on, allowing him to stay leaning in.

“Hey,” he says, little more than a whisper and clearly hushed so the others don’t hear.

“Hey yourself,” you respond, earning yourself a low snort.

Instead of vocally responding, he pushes himself back up to a sitting position and then moves his hands to maneuver your legs until you’re no longer curled up against the couch’s backing but sitting like a normal person.

Then he lays down, head resting on your thighs, and turns to face the movie.

You’re grinning uncontrollably. All possible self-conscious thoughts of the others seeing you are dashed from your mind; you like the weight of him in your lap too much.

You spend much of the rest of the movie like that, easily over half an hour. A few minutes in he reaches down to find your hand and bring it to his hair, encouraging you to stroke it. It’s even softer than you’ve imagined in the past, fluffy and thick and genuinely nice to run your hands though. There’s a surge of contentment that rushes through you, and maybe a little bit of pride at the knowledge that you can do this pretty much any time you want now.

By the end of the film, you’re pretty sure Shinsou’s fallen asleep. He gives you the scare of your life, however, when he grabs your arm as you’re trying to pull away. His eyes open, purple irises trained on you.

What happens next you blame on grogginess, him still not quite being awake. He blames it on you; whenever you mention it, he says he saw you and had become consumed with an overwhelming desire to just lean up and kiss you. Whatever the reason, it’s nice for you.

His hand comes up to the back of your neck, tugging you down just as much as he lifts up. It begins soft, kind of sweet, just lips as the two of you melt into each other—but it doesn’t stay that way for long. Within moments the two of you morph the kiss from a quick peck after a movie to a very passionate makeout, and frankly you’d be more concerned if they hadn’t interrupted the two of you.

You pull away when you hear Kaminari’s wolf whistle, left sitting on the loveseat with a burning face and your boyfriend in your lap, still half asleep.

Shigaraki

You’re not jealous.

No, you’ve been dating Tomura for months. You can’t be jealous when he’s, well, yours, and has been for quite some time. You’re his first relationship, his first everything, and it’s frankly foolish of you to feel this insecure just because some floozy is simpering at him from across the enormous room where you and the rest of the League are scattered about. It’s not like she really wants him, or even knows him; he’s just the hew big-shot leader and she’s decided being his lover sounds good. Too bad that role’s already taken.

Still, there’s a sinking feeling in your chest—an ache in your heart, a burning lump in your throat—that says now that Tomura is Grand Commander he’ll drop you for someone better.

You don’t realize you’re glaring daggers at the woman until she catches your eye. She has no business looking that smug; the only reason she’s allowed in the room is to give Tomura reports. You’re the one lounging next to him as she approaches; he has your legs over his lap, his thumb absent-mindedly rubbing circles on your thigh.

And when she bends down to drop the report on his lap (as if your damn legs aren’t there, you want to scoff) she draws the eyes of every League member except the one she wants, because you’re the one who has Tomura’s attention.

He’s wearing Father, but you’ve long passed being afraid when he looks at you from between those lifeless digits and you can see the expression beneath; those lips tugging down slightly in a pout, brow furrowed, eyes far softer than they have any damn business being while hiding behind the severed hand of his old man. He’s concerned, and a little confused.

Tomura plucks the report from your legs and sets it aside, reaching to pull you fully into his lap. To your surprise he takes Father off, too; he buries his face into your neck to prevent the outsider from seeing, lips just brushing your ear so that you can hear him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hm?”

“You’ve been pouting ever since the secretary came in, brat.”

Like hell you’re saying anything in front of her. You remain stubbornly silent.

He doesn’t like that, you can tell, but while the secretary’s interest is lost on him he knows you well enough to tell that you’re uncomfortable with her. Presumably that’s why he doesn’t press the issue and kisses you instead.

You don’t expect it. Tomura’s not exactly one to shy away from PDA (you’re sitting in his lap in front of the whole League, for fuck’s sake), but intimacy is something he’s never wanted to take beyond closed doors. When he’s in a sour mood you’ll kiss him sometimes, even in public (he’s invigorated by your affection in many way, but never anything you’d call heated.

This kiss, though, is. It’s anything but chaste, perhaps even downright lewd. He’s all but initiating a makeout with you while Miss Secretary is standing right there. Maybe his affection-motivated ways are rubbing off on you, but it helps more than it probably ought to.

You’re dazed by the time he pulls away. The sound of the door slamming closed snaps you from your trance. The secretary, ploy foiled simply by your annoyed expression, had left. It doesn’t matter. None of this was ever really about her in the first place.

“There,” Tomura says, audibly quite pleased with himself. “She’s gone. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

You sigh, leaning in to tuck your own head into his shoulder. Your voice is muffled when you speak, quiet so that only he can hear.

“It’s dumb.”

“It’s bothering you,” he says simply. There’s an underlying statement there: tell me so I can destroy it for you. In many ways, Tomura is a predictable man.

You know he’s not going to drop it, so you accept your fate. “She was making a pass at you.”

He tenses beneath you, holding you closer. You risk lifting your head from where it’s buried to see the way his nose is scrunched up. “She wasn’t.”

“Yeah, she was.”

There’s a pause, like he’s processing everything you’re saying. Then, seemingly finally registering what exactly is bothering you, his hands move to grip your hips and maneuver you to straddle him, sitting fully on his lap facing him. “Fine. Why’re you pissed about it, then?”

You lean in again, arms coming to wrap around his neck as you bury your face into his chest and try to ignore the tears that are coming. You’d never be able to live it down if any of the others saw you crying over the fucking secretary.

But you know more than anyone thanks to many late nights assuring your boyfriend he’s the only one for you that Tomura can empathize with this insecurity. It’s a little strange how the script has flipped.

“She’s a high ranking MLA member, she probably has some crazy strong quirk. I’m quirkless. I dunno. I guess I’m scared you’ll drop me for someone like her. Like I said, it’s dumb.”

He doesn’t speak for a moment. You sit there, listening to his heartbeat and matching your breathing to his. Then he speaks.

“Your emotions aren’t dumb. It’s okay that you’re feeling this way. Thank you for telling me.” He’s parroting you, you realize; this is what you tell him every time he comes to you for comfort when he’s gotten in a mood. You feel a little fuzzy, warmth flooding your chest. “But I think we both know they’re irrational.”

“Tomura… I—”

“I’m not interested in some lame-ass NPC,” he interrupts, no hesitation and entirely sincere. He doesn’t even need to think about it. “You’re my player two, my endgame. The only thing in this world worth protecting. You really think that secretary can hold a candle to you? I didn’t even notice her. Why would I when you’re here?”

You can’t help it, you surge upward and kiss him, just as passionately as he had you mere moments before. His right hand traces up your spine to find the back of your neck and pull you closer, sending a thrill through your body as your own arms tighten around him.

“Oi! Horndogs! Get a damn room, don’t make us see that!”

You break away at Dabi’s words, panting slightly, and if the sincerity of Tomura’s little rant hadn’t convinced you that his words were true, the look of utter adoration he’s regarding you with would have.

[t0shii]

hq boys when you're feeling anxious or stressed

suna rintaro, hinata shoyo, oikawa toru x gn!r

!warnings! mentions of anxiety, reader comparing themselves to others, mentions of food & hunger, driving. this is like all fluff no angst rlly tbh.

SUNA RINTARO.

he could tell something was up but conviced himself he shouldnt pry as he had already asked you twice if you were feeling alright, to which you reasurred him with a "yep" both times, it was suspicious but he thought maybe you just wanted to be left alone. meanwhile you weren't sure why you lied him, you obviously were not doing okay at the moment. currently he was driving you home and your anxiety was going absolutely crazy from the amount of school work that was piling up on you, it's unfair you thought to yourself, looking out the window. not only were you stressed from work but trying to keep up with your friend was hard, to say the least. they were phenomenal students, straight As in their transcript and though your grades were just fine, you couldn't help but feel inferior and insecure. it's unfair how effortlessly smart they are and how i'll never be able to catch up.... oh boy if your thoughts weren't running wild before they definitely were now, you hadn't even realized your boyfriend pulling into your driveway until he slightly tapped your shoulder. "are you sure you're alright? i don't wanna pressure you ofcourse but, you know you can tell me anything right?" ... and there were the water works! the little string holding you together had snapped just like that. you sat there in the passengers seat sobbing into your hands and suna rintaro hadn't a clue what to do in the moment.

"give me just a sec" you heard him mumble but not before he gave you a kiss as light as a feather on the top of your head. somehow you didn't notice him exit the car and rush to your side until he opened your door and hugged you so tight you honestly couldn't breathe. after a few seconds your boyfriend let go of the embrace which, to his dismay, only made you cry even harder. now, he knew he was known for being quite... stoic but he was definitely panicking on the inside and it was really difficult to remain calm on the outside. your boyfriend carefully reached over you to unbuckle the seatbelt that you had yet to unclasp. "lets go inside baby." his voice was so gentle it would've taken you by surprise had you not still been crying. you nodded in response and he helped you carefully out of the car, holding your hand all the way to the door, "d'ya have your key?" you nodded trying your best to unlock the door, after a few struggled and shakey attempts you finally had your door unlocked but not without rins help because he couldn't bare to watch you struggle any longer.

stepping inside rin helped you take your shoes off, removing his own after, "bedroom?" having calmed down a little you whispered "yes," with a small nod. he nodded with you in response and took you to your bedroom. after helping you change into comfy clothes he helped you into bed, crawling in right behind you. your back was snug against his chest and he held you super tightly, it was silent for a few minutes until finally he spoke up, "please tell me how i can help" you could feel your lip quiver. "well... you don't have to say anything right now, you know i can wait. i'll even leave if you want, i just wanted you to know that you can tell me whenever you're ready and that i'll listen." neither of you were sure when you'd be ready to admit what had gotten you so upset but you felt comfortable knowing suna rintaro would be there whenever you were ready, whether it be minutes from now or even months.

HINATA SHOYO.

your silence on the walk home was starting to concern him.. maybe im just talking too much... he thought, "hey... im sorry if im talking your ear off.. how was your day angel?" to say he was disappointed with your response would be an understatement. not thar you HAD to talk but usually you were talkative with him and the worry in his tummy was only growing more. a simple, "oh.. my day was alright sho," simply woundn't cut it! "hey, are you feeling okay?" it was silent for a few seconds before you answered a mumbled "i think so, are you feeling alright, sho?" he simply nodded with a "mhm" and you told him to continue on with his story from earlier.

he complied but only to fill the silence. hinata decided to trust you when you said you were okay because you know your own feelings and he knows for a fact he's made it clear before that you could and should let him know if something was bothering you. though you enjoyed listening to hinata's stories you only found yourself getting lost in your own mind whilst he rambled on.you could tell he was suspicious of your behavior but was grateful he had left his curiosity behind because you were sure you would snap if he had asked you if you were okay again, you really didn't want to cry in front of him. truth is, your thoughts were running wild, stressing over the smallest things; assignments due at the end of the week, what you were gonna get your boyfriend for your anniversary, how you were gonna make time for your friends surprise birthday party and helping sho with his studied all the while trying to take care of your own self and keep your own grades afloat. "y/n..? we're at your house.. are you sure your alright? you look a little pale, are you ill?" crap! how had you not noticed you were approaching your own driveway you wanted to slap yourself for being so clueless. you couldn't help but feel horrible for not listening to your boyfriends story also.

"yes sho i'm fine really, i just didn't have time to eat lunch today but i have food inside so don't worry m'may?" he looked at you suspiciously and you knew he was onto you, "y'know y/n, i'm not gonna force you to tell me what's going on but just know i'll always be here for you, okay?" he gave you a small smile before engulfing you into a tight hug, it honestly melted your heart. surprisingly, you didn't start crying on the spot. "y'know, i wanted to trust you when you said you were okay but now i'm not so sure if you were telling the truth," he mumbled into your shoulder. you sighed, giving up the facade. "sho.... i just don't know what to do honestly, i have alot on my plate right now and i'm really stressed with all the responsibilities ive piled onto myself," you admitted. he nodded lifting his head from your shoulder, giving you the brightest smile, "well, i can always help out! i might not be the mooost helpful person ever but i'll try my best, and if anything i'm good moral support!" you giggled at that but suddenly you felt your lip quiver from the sudden guilt you feeling, "i'm sorry for lying to you sho-", "hey! its alright! you dont need to apologize. especially dont need you crying on me now!" he smiled cupping your face in his hands, wiping away a few stray tears of whom managed to escape.

OIKAWA TORU.

you smile back at him and thought of how silly it was that you tried keeping your feelings a secret from your boyfriend of two years, hinata shoyo, feeling glad that you confided in him. he knew you were upset as soon as he saw you that very morning, he could read you like and open book and you knew that fact very well. still though, you tried your best to hide yourself from him, though it was hard considering you sitting right next to him in the passenger seat of his car. finally after a whole day of being worried sick, he was tired of leaving things left unsaid "babyyyy," he sang for you from the kitchen, "please come here a sec!" he yelled for you louder. soon you came trudging down the hallway, blanket wrapped around your body, he couldn't help but smile at how adorable his s/o looked.

"c'mere quickly," he said will a grin, opening his arms for a hug, which you gladly accept, wrapping your arms around his waist tightly. "now, i know you know that i know that you're not feeling well, so please tell me what's got my angel so upset?" he said softly rubbing his hand lightly over your back, his voice a little muffled from his cheek being squished against the top of your head. you let out a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding, "'m sorry tooru, i don't know what's wrong with me today.... just not feeling well." you felt him nod against your head in response, "well good thing your amazing boyfriend is here to make you feel all better huh?" you let a out small giggle at that. "you know you can tell me when you're feeling down right? you shouldn't keep things bottled up inside", "i know tooru... im sorry, i just dont really know wbat i'm feeling so down about though," you admitted shyly. "hey that's okay! there absolutely no need to apologize for that, here, look at me, angel," he tilts your face so you're looking up at him, his big soft hands holding your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks lightly, "i'm here whenever you figure it out, hell, even if you dont figure it out or there just isn't any reason at all. you know i'm always, always, always here. i promise you that, m'kay?" he finishes his little speech with a smile, smothering your face in kisses. you could only feel relieved, thankful and loved. because you knew that you would always have your soulmate, oikawa toru by your side.

( a/n ; ahh so im sorry if this has any spelling or grammatical errors it's sort of late as i'm writing this! and im too lazy to proof read.... also it might just all be word vomit and if it is im so sorry 😩 ++ i'm positive ive kept the reader gn throughout the whole thing but if there are slip-ups i promise i'll do better next time! i rlly wanted to write some hq boys when ur feeling anxious and beyond stressed because i have been MEGA struggling with my own anxiety lately, especially bc of school so i just needed to let my feelings go! anywhooo i hope everyone who reads this has an amazing day or night! ) p.s. im new to writing so be nice 2 me or whatever 😩🙄😌👍🏻