#and you two part ways and the sadness hits Billie harder than she expected

[midnighteclipze]

Uhh soo this is very ooc Billie because like she seems like she has her life together well, but what if she got into a situationship and it hit her harder than she thought Basically drew that one screenshot of Vi putting on that black makeup but with Billie hehe

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Getting Warmer - B. Hargrove

TW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Never in her life had she taken her heels off to drive. She was practically expert at the action of driving with stilettos on.

Unlike the rest of her life, this situation called for a foot to the gas harder than she was willing to forgo one of the many pairs of black stilettos she owned.

She never thought she would be in such a rush for somebody like him.

To her, he didn’t deserve to play the damsel in distress. He was rude, arrogant, the perfect representation of everything wrong with the middle class white male of the 80’s.

Yet here she was, forcing her canary yellow Chevy to go as fast as it could just to get to where he needed her to be.

He was in trouble, and no matter how much she didn’t like somebody, Y/N Henderson didn’t let another suffer just because of her personal feelings.

Her feet were bare as she pulled up to the parking lot of the high school. It was far too late for anybody to be there, but he told her to meet him there.

That, and it was an early Saturday morning.

The blue Camaro stood out in the early morning light and as she pulled up next to it, she could see just how disheveled they man leaning against the side of the vehicle was.

His lip was split and he was sporting an already bruising eye, but he still smirked when she got out of the car. He took a moment to adjust to the sight of her without her heels.

She was tiny compared to him.

Her hands were on his face in seconds, tilting it every which way so she could survey the damage.

“What happened? Are you okay? Where’s max?” Her questions came out lightning fast as she furrowed her brows in confusion.

Billy took the opportunity to notice how her nose crinkled slightly when she concentrated.

“Nice to see you too, princess,” he smirked down at her, offering a wink. “Maxine is fine. She’s in bed.”

She was tired, her hair was a mess and she was hungry. She was not in the mood for his question dodging.

“You answered one of three questions. What about the other two?”

Her arms crossed underneath her chest, and she rolled her eyes as Billy shamelessly gazed at her breasts.

“Look, I don’t have the care to stand around while you perv on me.” She watched as his blue eyes raised to meet her own. “I came here because you said you needed help, and I show up and you’re bruised and battered. I understand you might not be ready to talk right now but I won’t stand here while you eye me like a piece of meat. I’m a woman, not an object for your viewing pleasure, Billy.”

She was annoyed, anybody could be able to tell that. She hadn’t snapped at him, but she sure as hell didn’t say it in a way that can be brushed off.

She knew when to be stern, and from his past experience, she also knew when to get vicious.

He felt like a scolded child and he filled with guilt.

He shouldn’t have called her. He shouldn’t have asked her to meet him. He shouldn’t have ran out. He should have just stayed in that house with him.

She could notice the shift in Billy almost immediately. His eyes seemed to sink in and the smirk on his face took a significant hit. Yet the corners of his mouth were still turned upwards. In more of a sad smirk now.

“Right now, I want nothing more than to tell you everything about my life,” Billy spoke, and Y/N could see the unshed tears that mask his blue eyes. “But I don’t want to dampen the mood just as our night is beginning.”

Y/N deadpanned.

“Okay, sorry, morning.” Billy laughed softly. “How about we start by getting something to eat? I dragged you out here, the least I can do is take you for some breakfast.”

Y/N nodded softly, stepping towards her car. She didn’t miss the way Billy’s face dropped at her slight departure.

He peered back up when she pulled a pair of fluffy boots from the boot of her car and slipped them onto her feet. She pulled the passenger door of Billy’s Camaro open and rose her head to look at him before she slipped in.

“I’m not waiting around all night. You said breakfast, that’s like love language to me.”

Billy shook his head with a laugh before climbing into the car beside the girl.

He hated that he had fallen so hard for her, but he couldn’t stop himself now.

To say Y/N was surprised by the state of his car interior would be an understatement.

She couldn’t find a speck of dust anywhere. The leather seats were void of any mess, the floor looked as if it was vacuumed regularly and there was no rubbish anywhere.

It was a happy surprise, as she kept her Chevy in the same state.

What wasn’t shocking, was the music Billy listened to. There was a cassette in the radio, blasting a number of rock songs.

The car ride was short, so she only heard a few tunes.

The Ramones, Zepplin, the Stones. Everything she expected.

Every time she allowed herself to think that Billy wasn’t the stereotypical wannabe bad boy, she was proven wrong.

Sure, he kept his car clean. Sure, he rang her in the middle of the night with his breath shaking through sobs.

Sure, he had an earring that she didn’t know about and was interested in.

“You have your ear pierced?” She blurted, dude way aware that she had been staring at him for a few minutes.

He was aware of it, his smirk was evidence.

He made a noise of agreement. A deep rumble from the back of his throat.

“Got it before we left California to piss off-“ he stopped short. He didn’t want to tell her who he wanted to provoke, but part of him was longing to tell her how he intentionally made decisions against his fathers wishes.

“To piss off who?” She had a critical eye. She was curious and wouldn’t let him end a statement with no conclusion.

“Uh, my ex girlfriend. She didn’t think guys should get pierced so I wanted to prove her wrong before I left.”

He looked nervous. Y/N could tell he was lying but she chose not to push him.

She was often good at reading people but Billy was proving to be an enigma.

If she had to guess where his bruises came from, she would say from fighting with some other teenage boy.

She couldn’t explain the emotion that she heard through the phone though.

They pulled up to a small diner not far from the school. Before Y/N could even open her door, Billy had pulled it open and he was waiting for her to step out.

His movements halted at the look of shock on her face and he couldn’t stop the blush from rising to his cheeks.

“Oh! Sorry. S’a force of habit. Usually I do that for my step-mum,” his voice was low, almost shy.

“It’s alright, Billy. I don’t mind,” she said, standing up from the low car.

He smiled at the reassurance.

Billy generally acted in ways to provoke others. He intentionally acted out, in hopes that he could receive some positive attention. Hell, he was happy with negative attention from anybody but his father.

He didn’t often receive positive attention unless it was from some girl who wanted to end up underneath him, but Y/N wasn’t like that. And that made her much more enticing.

That, and the amazing car she drove, the way she didn’t take shit, her laugh, the way her eyes lit up in class when the topic shifted to something she was interested in.

The odd way she wore black stilettos all of the time, and the way she looked at the moment with her hair blowing in the wind and her soft shoes making her so much shorter than him.

He could just lean down and press his lips against-

“We going in? I’m starving and this place does the best waffles.” There was a smile on her face, and for the first time he noticed how her face was void of makeup.

Every imperfection was on show and he couldn’t help but enjoy the sight.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go.” He cleared his throat and walked towards the diner.

Once they were inside, he felt a sense of comfort was over him.

The air was much warmer inside and the smell of bacon cooking reminded him just how hungry he was.

He was so angry the night before that he skipped dinner.

Y/N led him to a booth towards the back of the diner, where they could look through the window at his car.

“I don’t trust the asshole round here.” She explained. “I always sit where I can see my car.”

He was slowly discovering more about her and he couldn’t wait to sit down and talk with her.

She ordered three waffles and coated them all in syrup. She also ordered a strawberry milkshake and proceeded to sip the syrup coated waffles into the pink drink.

She was unique. He couldn’t expect anything from her apart from the unexpected.

When he called her, he figured she would hang up. But instead she calmed him down and asked him where the could meet. Within seconds of ending the call, Billy had been in his car and driving off.

Billy settled for pancakes, arguing that they were better than waffles. Y/N shot him an evil look for that admission.

There was no conversation as they ate. Y/N had questions burning in her mind but she didn’t want to pry.

Then again, she also wanted answers for why she had left the house for him.

He couldn’t stop himself from telling her after he had finished eating.

“It was my dad,” his voice was quiet, and he didn’t meet her eyes when he spoke.

Y/N snapped her eyes to billy, furrowing her brows with confusion.

“What was your dad?”

He gestured to his face, not wanting to say the words for fear he would break down.

Y/N’s mouth fell open. She had heard rumors from the boys that Max and Billy’s dad wasn’t the nicest, but she didn’t want to believe anything for fear of it not being true.

“Your dad did that to you?”

He nodded slightly.

He flinched when her hand grabbed his from across the table. She held his hand with such gentleness that he found himself staring at their connected appendages.

“He’s been doing it since I was little. My mum left when I was a kid, so he turned from doing it to her to doing it to me. He’s tried it a couple times with Susan but I try to stop it.” He seemed as if he were in pain.

“Does he do the same to Max?” Y/N could feel herself getting angrier as Billy spoke. This was not what she expected at all, but now that he was saying it, she could see the signs.

“No, no, he doesn’t touch Max. He’s controlling to her, though. It pisses her off. She’s too independent for him. Little brat tried to make a run for it before we moved here.” There was a proud smile on his face. “I don’t blame her. If we got along more, I would have tried to make a run for it with her.”

Y/N’s eyes were full of sympathy. She wanted to help the man in front of her, but she didn’t know how to.

“I’m sorry, Billy. I’m sorry this has happened to you.” She watched as he quickly wiped a tear that had fallen from his blue eyes. He still refused to look at her.

“S’fine. I shouldn’t have called you,” he whispered, nor trusting his voice.

Y/N furrowed her brows.

She turned her head around to look at they diner. It was empty, save for the man behind the counter who was dozing off.

She pulled her hand from his and stood up. His heart dropped for a second, fearing that she was going to leave him.

It came as a shock when she slid into his side of the booth and placed her small hands on either side of his face. For the first time, she could see the pain in his eyes.

There were pools of tears waiting to break free, and the memories hidden inside of him were coming to the surface.

“If you ever need me, you call me. I don’t care what time of day it is, I’m here for you, Billy,” she said sternly, watching him carefully. “Your dad is an asshole, and you and Max deserve a hell of a lot better than that.”

“Susan does too. She’s too nice for Neil.”

“And Susan. Hell, I’ll marry her if she’s looking for somebody.”

Billy laughed softly, “yeah, that’ll really make Neil happy. Asshole can’t even watch me look in a mirror without throwing some gay slur at me.”

“What a butt muncher,” Y/N grumbled.

Billy couldn’t pull his eyes away from the sight. She looked so grumpy, so protective. So beautiful.

“You’re the only one who knows, Y/N,” he whispered to her, allowing himself to melt into the feeling of her delicate hands on his face.

“It’s safe with me, Hargrove. Promise.”

It was that moment, that Billy realized, after many months of infatuation with the woman, he would do anything for her.

He had hit the bottom, fallen from such a height for her and he didn’t want to come back up.

And there, in the small diner at 5AM on a Saturday morning, he kissed her.

Delicately.

He would never forget the taste of syrup on her lips as their eyes both closed and they relaxed into the contact.

Tag list: @booksandfandomsarelife1 @originalwhore @http-cherries @cynthianokamaria @ietss @theatrechic26 @winter-captain-01 @thelastemzy @quaintflor @infinitelycharmed23 @mantlereid @theanswertoeverythingisl0v3

[brideofcthulhu10]

Hi! Uh so Billy aka Dwayne and I have the same birthday (June 23). I don't really like my birthday because I've never gotten to celebrate. I haven't had a party since I was a kid and now I just always spend the day sad and with no friends. If you wanna write something with the lost boys celebrating Dwayne and reader's birthday together, I'd really love it. (No pressure tho. I really love your blog and hope you'll have a great day ✨)

Aw, I’m sorry to hear you’ve not been able to celebrate your birthday for such a long time. Hopefully I can give you a little taste of a great birthday with the boys, and a very special (belated) birthday to you from myself and all of my readers, you are an honorary Fang Babe which makes you a part of a community that’s there for each other! If you ever feel sad, I got my DMs open 24/7 if you ever need to just vent up a storm! All are welcome. 

Happy Birthday to You Both

Dwayne x Fem!S/O

Today was supposed to be special, yet the entire day everyone was so preoccupied with their own little lives that no one had even bothered to remember it was your birthday today. It was absolutely miserable. All the while your boyfriend Dwayne was currently tucked away at the abandoned hotel hiding away from the sunlight. Bursting into flames was certainly an occupational hazard. By this point the whole vampirism thing had come and gone, and while it did frighten you, nothing was more frightening than being without your dark crow.   

Rather than stay at home to be ignored you opted to go out for the afternoon, browsing shops for a special occasion. No, not yourself. See, as luck would have it, June 23rd also held significance to Dwayne. Marko, one of the younger members of the coven, had told you two weeks prior it would be Dwayne’s birthday as well. You had to keep your own secret. Not at their request, but your own. Overshadowing his birthday would be dreadful, you hated the idea of taking it from him. Besides, no one remembered anyways. 

Weaving through brightly lit shops, you pondered each piece wondering what would suit him best. Clothes were out, maybe a new skateboard? Just looking at the little white tags stuck to the back of them made you cringe. Okay, so that was out. You weren’t made of money. 

There was an old mystic shop selling a handful of oddities, somewhere called Madame Medusa’s Mystical Boutique. A few interesting necklaces caught your eye, but one seemed to be directly calling you. It was a crow skull attached to a leather cord, bordered by two carved red beads on either side. Two thick black feathers were wedged between the beads. Gently you slipped it off the hook, running your thumb over the chilled, smooth surface. 

“It’s a lovely item, isn’t it,” an elderly woman asked. Truthfully she startled you from behind the counter, almost making you jump a few good inches. 

“O-Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see-”

“Don’t worry dear, hardly anyone does,” she chuckled, tenderly plucking the skull from your hand. “Shall I wrap this up for you?”

“Oh- Well I wasn’t, I mean it’s nice but-,” you stuttered, but already she was shuffling towards the counter again. Boy pushy woman. You didn’t even know how much it cost, you weren’t exactly on a budget but you couldn’t be going on any big spending sprees.

“Hush now. He’s going to be waiting for you, somewhere nearby. I can guarantee that this is the one you’re meant to give him,” she insisted, wrapping the necklace under aged brown paper. 

“Yeah, I’m sure he’d like it but-,” you couldn’t help but trail off. How- How did she know?

The woman pushed the little baggie your way, giving a tender smile before she began to hobble towards a curtained room behind the counter.

“W-Wait, I didn’t even pay for it!”

She waved off your concern, looking behind her shoulder while she parted the curtains in her path. 

“Consider it a present from those who neglected you. Take it to him, you’ll see..” And with that she vanished behind them, leaving you stunned where you stood. Silently you glanced down at the small plastic bag, almost jumping in place when a dusty old grandfather clock began to ring through the store. One, two, three, four, five, six. Oh! It was already six o’clock. Crap the boys would be up any minute!

It didn’t take too long to spot the gang of vampires sitting on the worn, wooden banisters talking amongst themselves. Dwayne was just as eager to spot you, sweeping between the boys and lifting you up in his arms. “Happy birthday, princess,” He gushed, planting tender kisses all over your cheeks.

“How did you know? I didn’t-”

“My bad,” Marko spoke up. He leaned back from behind Paul to wave your way, as if he were waving a flag of defeat. Damn. You weren’t even sure how Marko figured out your birthday in the first place, there was just no keeping secrets from that guy! 

Dwayne set you down, although he carried a much more concerned expression this time. “Why keep it a secret in the first place, Y/N?”

You fiddled with the bag still clutched in your hand with eyes cast downward towards your feet hoping a good excuse could get you out of just admitting you’d rather play backseat. But, you didn’t. Not that you couldn’t come up with any excuses. Rather, you didn’t want to be sidelined even for your boyfriend’s birthday. It was yours too, and for the past several years it seemed like you were constantly being set aside so that other things could happen. Your sister’s wedding, that trip to Colorado your parents took, grandma and grandpa visiting, your brother’s soccer games- everything seemed to take precedence over the celebration of the day you were born. And worst of all is you never got your Sixteen Candles happy ending. No one would really recognize they screwed up. You wouldn’t be apologized to with tearful shock when your parents realized they forgot your birthday, your friends- if you could even call them that at this point- wouldn’t try to cheer you up, and there was no handsome crush ready with a birthday cake to make it all go away. It’s like Dwayne already knew your feelings because before you could get a word in he pulled you into a crushing hug. Your head pressed against his chest. Sometimes you forgot he had no heartbeat and instead only listened to him rumble when he spoke to you.

“Just because today is for me, doesn’t mean it isn’t for you too, princess.” 

Those words hit you harder than you anticipated. Your throat felt as if it were swelling, dry with each labored swallow, and a tight pressure squeezed the bridge of your nose. Inevitable tears eagerly rushed down your while burnt cheeks. 

Dwayne only held you in place. He never let go until you were the one ready to release him, wiping away those pesky droplets of emotion staining you. “Now, I was saving this for when we took you to the hotel…,” he began with his hand jammed into his jacket pocket, rustling around for whatever it was he needed. “But, I figure maybe you need it now.”

A thick banded ring of aged silver sat in his calloused palm, an oval cut of turquoise clasped in place by a weaving border. Veins of black and copper split through chunks of blue-green paths. Rather hold it out to you, Dwayne tenderly took your hand into his own to slip the hefty piece over your ring finger. It nestled perfectly in place and you couldn’t help but let out a breathless laugh, slinging your arms over his neck. He already knew what to expect. Iron arms engulfed your waist and lifted you up. His stubble scratched the edges of your mouth when you crashed your lips into his. The sensation was overwhelming. It wasn’t just that he got you this, it was what he had gotten you. 

Dwayne had often told you myths and lore on lazy nights when the hunting grew slow and the hours were long. Once you found yourself admiring a very similar cut of jewelry decadently adorned with many fine cuts of turquoise, finding your curiosity piqued when asking him what the significance was to all these pieces. Why was it such a commonly used stone in so much jewelry, especially with Native American tribes.

“From what I can remember,” Dwayne thought back at the time, leaning over you to admire the pricey baubles kept protected under a thick sheet of glass “, my grandmother told me that every tribe has always valued it. I mean, they all have their reasons. It’s a powerful gem that carries protection, life and strength. I’ve even seen it change colors depending on where you find it. I hardly ever saw it though when I was alive, even back then it cost a fortune.”

But now, through one way or another he’d remembered how you admired them from afar, yearning to have a ring like that of your very own. The one to five hundred dollar price tags always scared you off whenever you’d come to find them in stores- at least, the real ones. For once you didn’t care how Dwayne had acquired your gift. Gift! Oh!

“Oh, hold on,” You interjected between kisses with the little bag presented before him. “I um, got you something too. From that crazy lady in the mystic items shop!”

A warmth spread through your chest watching him lay the necklace over, the skull placing perfectly atop his many others. It suited him perfectly. 

The whole night was just perfect. You spent the entire time going on rides with the boys after they spoiled you for dinner, later dragging you to the hotel where you realized what Dwayne meant earlier. There were streams of colored paper hanging off the rafters and old piping, red balloons tied to the furniture, and a banner of paper reading out “Happy Birthday Dwayne and Y/N” written in big, red marker letters. You couldn’t even make a wish when they brought out a cake for the both of you. After all, what more could be asked? They had already given you the most perfect birthday you could have ever hoped for. 

[imyoursandthatsitwhatever]

only wanna dance with you

It all started with Patrick Swayze.

Steve, Robin, and Billy navigate the summer together: A story in three parts.

for @awickedplacethisis, who inspires me

part i

love isn’t always magic sometimes it’s just melting where it’s black and blue where it hurts the most -andrea gibson

The thing is, the first time Robin comes over that first summer, Steve doesn’t really know how to act. Like, he knows they almost died together, and he knows she genuinely gives a shit about him, but they don’t actually know each other that well yet. Somehow, learning Robin’s deepest, darkest secret feels like he’s barely even scratched the surface.

So, as usual, he tones it down. When he wants to reach out, get close, he stays a respectful distance. He isn’t clingy, okay. Not anymore. He’s trying to be better. Normal. Robin’s the first friend he’s had over to his house who’s older than fourteen and he doesn’t want to fuck this up by being weird.

He sits a respectful distance away from her on the couch. He puts a pillow between them when they lie on his bed getting high. He doesn’t even hug her goodbye when she leaves. He doesn’t do any of those things because he doesn’t even know if Robin likes being touched. And he’s trying to be better. More considerate. It’s a little harder than he thought it’d be, ‘cause he’s an affectionate person, but he thinks it’s for a good cause.

It’s just started to rain when he hears the knock on the door. He stumbles out of bed, glancing at the red letters blinking on the clock. 12:53. Oh Jesus, something’s wrong.

Robin’s on the other side of the door. Her eyes are wet and red-rimmed and she’s hugging herself around the middle, hunched over like she has a really bad stomach ache. She’s reaching for him before he even knows what’s happening, arms wrapping around his neck, body sagging, and she’s holding him like he’s the answer to every problem she’s ever had.

“Hey,” he whispers, gently weaving his fingers through her hair. It’s soft and smells like strawberries. “I’ve got you.”

And God, he’s wanted this for so long. Not only to be touched, but to be needed. And yeah, he and Robin are just friends, and he’s glad they stayed that way. Because it means things are never going to get complicated. He needs that in his life—Something easy. Something that makes sense without having to stare at it for two hours like a math problem. Robin makes sense to him. He trusts her. And maybe, since she’s here, that means she trusts him too.

He tucks his hands under Robin’s thighs and lifts her up, her legs wrapping around him immediately as he walks her over to the couch. Carrying her is easy, and suddenly he remembers when he used to do this with girls at parties to try to make himself look cool, and laughs at himself. He used to care so fucking much about what everyone thought. Now, he only cares about who the hell made the coolest girl he knows so fucking sad.

When he sits on the couch, she curls up into his lap, her head tucked right under his chin. He can feel her breath tickling his collarbone as he pulls his arms tighter around her.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asks, his words muffled by her ponytail.

“Fuck no,” she murmurs, her voice trembling. He feels something wet hit his chest and he realizes this is the first time he’s ever seen Robin really cry. It’s unsettling and horrible and he just wants to make it better.

“Okay,” he answers simply, reaching for the TV remote. He finds The Golden Girls and leaves it on, because he remembers that Robin hasn’t stopped talking about this show since it premiered. Betty White is a fucking icon, dingus. You’ll get it when you watch it.

He feels a small laugh vibrate against his chest and he smiles. Maybe he’s doing something right. He takes a chance and starts rubbing little circles into the back of her neck—she sighs contentedly, nuzzling up against him like a cat.

It’s then that Steve realizes that maybe Robin was waiting on him, too. Maybe she was trying to feel him out, see what his boundaries were. And then got to a point where she didn’t care enough to pretend anymore.

She’s always been braver than he ever was, anyway. And that might be why this means so much now—That when she couldn’t be brave anymore, when she had to break down, she came to him. She came to Steve.

He hears a soft intake of breath followed by a quiet snore and laughs a little. After he mutes the TV he carefully undoes her shoe laces, slipping her Converse off and setting them down on the coffee table. His mom would kill him if she knew but as usual, she isn’t around to make a fuss. He reaches behind him for the down blanket resting on the back of the couch and covers them both, shifting backwards a little so he can lie down properly.

Robin is warm against him as Steve closes his eyes to sleep, and it isn’t weird, it just feels nice. It feels nice to hold someone. Even if that someone is currently drooling on his shirt a little bit.

He’ll give her shit about it tomorrow.

Maybe.

>>Read the rest on AO3<<

part ii

every time you smoke a cigarette i want to rip it from your mouth i don’t know how to say this except that it breaks my heart to think that anything could take you from me  even a moment before it has to

-fortesa latifi

After that night, things are easy between them—effortless, really. Steve could lay his head down in Robin’s lap and she would know that he wants her to play with his hair. She tugs at it, scratches her fingernails against his scalp, even braids it sometimes, and he’s never felt more at home in his own body. It’s his favorite summer to date.

Robin graduates top of her class the next year. Steve sits in the audience and might have cried a little bit when he heard her speech, but no one can prove that. Billy wasn’t there. Steve had heard from Max that he’d started a job at a local mechanic, after getting his diploma by taking the few classes he’d needed from the school in the next town over. Billy stops by Family Video every once in a while to rent a movie, and they’d gone out to the quarry to smoke together one night, but other than that, Steve doesn’t see much of him.

August comes too fucking fast and Robin heads off to Indiana State on a full ride. Steve helps her pack her shit up, even drives with her down there to help her move in. When he drives away, leaving her waving at him on the sidewalk, his heart crawls up to his throat and stays there the whole drive home.

A year passes before it feels like he can even blink. The kids are halfway through high school and they’re busy with projects and girlfriends and other teenage bullshit, so he sees a lot less of them. Dustin and Suzie break up in April, so for a while, Steve keeps himself busy helping Dustin nurse his broken heart, mostly with the help of gummy worms and lots of pudding. Then Dustin meets a cute girl in Chemistry class, of all places, and Steve is left alone again.

When Robin comes back for summer vacation, she drags Steve to the premiere of Dirty Dancing, and when they get home, Robin demands that he lift her up like Swayze. He tries, he really does, but he’s not exactly ready when she jumps and they both end up a mess of limbs on the floor, carrying a couple bruises into the next week as battle scars. She laughs and swats at him, and he thinks he might be bleeding somewhere, but it’s okay. It’s fun. It’s easy, with Robin.

He slips up later that night, when they’re getting high out by the pool. They’ve got two chairs pulled together, their legs tangled together, when he breathes the tangy smoke into the air and whispers, “I think… I have a thing for Billy.”

Billy could lift Robin like Swayze. Hell, Billy could lift Steve like that. Could lower him down, real slow, faces close enough to touch—Jesus. His mouth is watering and his dick is kicking in his jeans just from the thought.

“I think you do, too,” Robin replies, giggling, as she takes the blunt from between Steve’s fingertips and sucks on it.

He sits up in surprise, nearly knocking them both over. “Were you ever going to tell me?” Steve asks incredulously. He’s a little high, so he’s seeing two Robins right now, and he doesn’t know which one to glare at.

“Oh my God, Steve. I didn’t know I had to inform you who you have a crush on.” Robin sighs dramatically and passes the blunt back to him. “You’re like a little baby deer. So helpless.”

Steve groans and collapses back against the pool chair.

“How did you know I like him?” Steve asks, finishing off the blunt and flicking the roach somewhere near the pool’s edge.

“Well, first of all, you visited him in the hospital, like, every day,” she begins matter-of-factly.

Steve’s mouth tastes like cotton when he answers, “I was driving Max there, Robin. I was being a good Samaritan.”

“Oh, and were you being a good Samaritan when you spent nights there? Nights, as in plural, as in more than once?”

She has a point. Who is he kidding? Robin always has a point.

“He was alone, you know? And he saved us. And I wanted…” I wanted him to know I was there for him. That I could keep being there. If he wanted.

“Steve.” Her voice is gentle, soft in that way that wraps around him and makes him feel like nothing could ever hurt him again. She’s holding his hand. Her black nail polish is chipped, it’s always fucking chipping, he wonders why she even bothers with it. But then he remembers that Robin doesn’t expect things to be perfect, or even want them to be. She likes things just how they are. She likes Steve just how he is.

He finally looks up at her, and she’s grinning at him. “Steve, I’m going to tell you a story, okay? All you have to do is listen.” Her voice is a little wobbly from the weed, but even while high, Robin’s a good storyteller. He lies back against the chair and folds his arms over his chest, waiting patiently.

“Do you remember that day last summer, when you had that really bad cold and you couldn’t make it into work?” Robin asks. Steve looks up at the stars, trying to map out some of the constellations Dustin had showed him, as he nods.

“Well, Billy stopped in that day. Thursday afternoon. Like he always does.” Steve wonders why she’s putting such heavy emphasis on the word. He knows Billy always stops by Thursday afternoons. It’s why Thursdays are his favorite day to work. Billy gets off work early from the garage on Thursdays, Steve doesn’t really know why, but he comes in with his coveralls tied around his waist and smelling like grease and it’s always the best part of Steve’s day, by a long shot.

“He came up to the counter, glanced around, and asked if I was working alone today. I said you had abandoned me in favor of being ill. And do you know what he did?”

“No. What?” Steve asks breathlessly. What could Billy have done that day in Family Video that warranted an entire fucking story about it?

“He walked out of the store, Steve. He didn’t even rent a movie. Just walked out. Do you know what that tells me, dingus?”

God, he’s so high right now. Her voice sounds far away and his heart is beating like a fucking drum in his ears. “No, I don’t,” he answers honestly, ‘cause he just really needs her to give him the answer. He can’t guess when it comes to Billy. With Billy, it has to be a sure bet.

“Billy doesn’t come to Family Video every Thursday to rent movies, Steve,” Robin says softly, tapping her thumb against his hand, “He comes to see you.”

Steve lets her words hang in the air for a second, imagines them attaching themselves to the stars up above and spelling it out for him.

He comes to see you.

He’s out of his chair before he even knows what he’s doing, swaying a little. Robin scrambles up to tug him back down before he falls face-first into the pool.

“Oh my God,” Steve says as he collapses back onto the chair, putting his face in his hands, “How could you let me be such a goddamn idiot? Is it fun, watching me being oblivious?”

“I mean, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little fun,” Robin jokes, nudging her shoulder against his. “I knew you needed time to figure it out. You can’t rush these things.”

“Yeah, but Billy probably feels like shit because he’s been dropping hints since like, day fucking one and I didn’t notice, Robin.”

It’s like sand has been scrubbed from his eyes and he can finally see. He’d stayed in the hospital that first night because Billy had asked him to. Billy had grabbed his hand as he stood up, looking at him frantically, still hooked up to that goddamn breathing machine because his lungs were too fucking weak. Steve had just thought he’d wanted someone to keep him company. His big, dumb, ugly brain hadn’t thought for even a second Billy wanted him, specifically.

And then, the way Billy had looked at him when he finally got that awful tube out of his throat. How he’d smiled and asked hoarsely, “Am I dreamin’, or is that you, Harrington?” Like he’d been waiting to say it. Like he’d spent weeks picking out the perfect fucking line.

It all comes back to him in startling clarity, now. How he’d wake up in the morning, in that really terrible plastic chair, to Billy staring at him. How Billy would suddenly turn his head and pretend to look out the window. How the nurse greeted Steve that morning he brought bagels—“Oh, you must be Steve,”—like Billy had been talking about him. How Billy had asked Steve, not Max, to check his chest when he thought he’d ripped open a stitch.

And the Thursday afternoons. Steve was so dense he didn’t even realize Billy was coming to rent a video every Thursday afternoon because he wanted to see him. And, now that he’s thinking about it, Billy probably gets off at 2:00 every Thursday at the garage because Steve gets off at 3:00 on Thursdays. And that’s probably something that Billy fucking knows, ‘cause Steve is pretty sure that he works later nights at the garage the rest of the week. Thursday’s probably the only day he can free up to swing by.

“Robin, I have to go see Billy. Like, now,” Steve says, getting to his feet, “But first, I have to get… uh, un-high. How do I get un-high?”

He feels a warm hand on his back, leading him towards the house. “You need water, snacks, and a cold shower,” Robin replies confidently, “Let’s go, dingus.”

The shower is a brilliant idea, really, because Robin turns the dial just cold enough to shock him back into reality, but not enough to make him hypothermic. (However, it’s a close thing.)

He eats the haphazard sandwich she shoves in his face and chugs a glass of water while she towel dries his hair for him.

“How long have we been married?” Steve asks in amusement as she grabs the blow dryer.

“17 years. And you forgot our last anniversary. Dick.” She shoves his head down and starts violently blow-drying, ignoring his protests as he tries to choke down the last piece of sandwich in his mouth.

She leaves him to style his hair and skips off to his bedroom, muttering something about picking out an outfit for him. She returns with a pair of dark wash jeans and an emerald green sweater.

“I haven’t worn those jeans in years, I don’t even know if they still fit—”

“Okay, Steve, newsflash: Billy is very into your ass. I’ve seen him look at it. He is not a shy guy. These jeans are going to be tight on your ass and Billy’s mind will be properly blown. And before you ask about the sweater, the color green just so happens to go very well with the color brown, and from the many times I’ve watched Billy gaze longingly into them, I can safely assume he is also a fan of your big, dumb, Bambi eyes. Any further questions?”

Steve shakes his head, eyes wide, and slips the jeans over his boxers. They fit like a glove. Especially over his ass.

“Are you a genie?” he asks, staring at Robin suspiciously as he tugs the sweater over his head. It’s really fucking soft. He hopes Billy will want to put his hands on him when he sees it.

“Not a genie. Just call me your fairy godmother,” Robin sing-songs as she throws his car keys at him, watching him almost spectacularly fail to catch them, “I have a feeling you’re not gonna be back, so you can drop me off at my place on the way there.”

“What do you mean I’m not gonna be back?” Steve asks, horrified, before the joke clicks. “Oh,” he says softly as she digs through the bathroom cabinets, finding a bottle of cologne and spritzing him a couple times.

“You have his new address, right?” Robin asks as they head outside towards his car.

“Yeah, I remember where it is. I dropped him off there once.” After we smoked together out at the quarry all night. I thought about kissing him before he climbed out of the car, but I didn’t because he was too fucking beautiful and I was too fucking scared.

Robin gives him a thumbs up from her living room window after he makes sure she gets inside, and then the lights are switched off in the house and he’s alone again, pulling away from the curb and racing down the street towards Billy’s apartment.

He feels an eerie sense of calm as the turn draws closer, even though he knows he should be shaking out of his skin right about now. Somewhere between nights at the hospital and Thursday afternoons, Billy had become important. And when someone’s important to you, you’re supposed to tell them. Friends don’t lie.

The street sign comes into view and he turns the wheel easily. His hands aren’t shaking. He isn’t nervous. He actually feels better than he has in a long time, because he’s pretty sure Billy has been waiting for Steve to show up at his door.

The night is quiet save for the occasional chirp of a cricket as he climbs out of the car, looking up at the apartment complex. Billy’s on the ground floor, in the back of the building, and his feet are taking him there and before he really even registers what he’s doing, he’s knocking on the door.

There’s a muffled curse inside as something falls to the ground, and then the door is being wrenched open and Billy is standing there, eyes wild and body coiled up tight. His expression immediately softens when he sees Steve, and the frying pan that was clenched in his hand falls to the floor for what appears to be the second time, judging from the sound. Steve stares at it for a second before clearing his throat.

“Hey,” he says, mustering up a smile because Billy is still kind of staring at him like he’s trying to figure out if Steve is real. He’s got a dish towel thrown over his shoulder, his white tank top stained with some sort of orange sauce, and Steve belatedly realizes he’s interrupted Billy making dinner.

“Hey,” Billy answers back, looking at Steve warily. His hand is still outstretched where it had been holding the pan, and he clenches it back into a fist. “What are you—”

“I’ve recently been informed that I’m an idiot. I mean, I knew that before, but I’ve reached like, a pretty incredible level of stupid at this point,” Steve starts, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.

Billy’s eyebrows fly up in surprise. “You’re not—”

“No, I really am. I’m really stupid, Billy. It took me getting high tonight to figure it out, because I was too scared to admit it before. And I’m sorry for all the time I’ve wasted.”

Steve lets out a shuddering breath; he watches Billy’s brow furrowing in confusion and he imagines reaching out to smooth it with his thumb.

“I think you’ve been trying to tell me something, and I wasn’t getting it,” Steve starts softly, stepping closer to the doorway. Billy looks a little taken aback, but he doesn’t move. “See, I always looked forward to my Thursday afternoon shifts ‘cause I knew you’d be stopping by. It never occurred to me that you might have a different reason for coming to the store other than, you know, renting movies. I thought you just really liked Rocky, I guess?” Steve laughs quietly, glancing down at the ground. He and Billy are inches apart and he swears he can hear Billy’s heartbeat.

“I was thinking tonight, after I dropped Robin on the floor, that you could totally lift me up like Patrick Swayze does and I just, really like that about you.” Steve sighs, tearing his gaze from the floor to glance at Billy, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement as he nods for Steve to go on, “I really like a lot of things about you. And I need you to know that I thought about kissing you that night after the quarry, and I thought about kissing you before that too, and you’re honestly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever fucking seen and I didn’t know how someone like you would ever want to be with me, and I know I’ve been stupid, but I—”

He feels his sweater being tugged forward, and then Billy’s lips are moving softly against his, and Steve breathes a sigh of relief into Billy’s mouth as he winds his arms around Billy’s neck.

Billy feels so fucking good, from the hard planes of his abs pressing against Steve’s torso to the needy way he licks into Steve’s mouth as he walks them backwards. Steve feels his back hit soft cushions and Billy lifts his arms above his head, holding him by the wrists, as he sucks on Steve’s bottom lip. He feels Billy move against him, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to hide how hard he is, his cock brushing against Steve’s thigh and sending a burst of heat straight down to his groin. Billy slots his knee between Steve’s legs, pushing up against him, and Steve groans into his mouth and frees his hands from Billy’s grip, tugging at Billy’s curls to pull him closer.

“You’re not,” Billy breathes between kisses, “Stupid,” his tongue licking sweetly across Steve’s cupid’s bow, “You just can’t take a hint.”

Steve laughs and Billy swallows it down, smiling against Steve’s lips as he slips his hand under the sweater to run his fingers over Steve’s chest.

“This sweater is real fuckin’ nice, pretty boy,” he murmurs, running his free hand down the soft fabric, “But I have to say, your jeans are really doing it for me.” His hand dips lower to palm at Steve’s ass through the denim and Steve keens, ‘cause Billy’s built like a brick shithouse and has the fucking hands to match.

He swears he can hear Robin laughing all the way across town.

“Fuck, Billy,” Steve groans as Billy scrapes his teeth along the side of his neck, wriggling underneath him as Billy sucks a mark into the sensitive skin there.

“What’d you say before, about me bein’ like Swayze?” Billy murmurs, nuzzling his way up Steve’s neck and placing a chaste kiss against the shell of his ear.

“We watched Dirty Dancing, and Robin wanted to do the move, you know, where he lifts her up? And I couldn’t catch her when she jumped, I fuckin’ dropped her on the floor and went right down with her,” Steve giggles, fisting his hands into the worn fabric of Billy’s tank top, “But I was thinking that you could lift me up like that, no problem.”

Billy stares at him for a second, a mischievous smile playing on his lips before he’s suddenly hopping off of the couch.

“All right, pretty boy, let’s do it.” Steve takes a moment to admire the rippling muscle of Billy’s arms as he pulls him up from the sofa, all the work Billy’s put in since he’d almost fucking died right in front of Steve’s eyes two years ago, before Billy’s pushing him to the other side of the living room. Steve watches in amusement as Billy stretches and cracks his neck back and forth, before crouching down and holding his arms out.

Steve takes a moment to carefully push the furniture back towards the wall, and hesitantly slips off his shoes.

���I can lift you, no problem, but you’re gonna need to use your core to actually hold yourself up like she does,” Billy instructs, as if he’s teaching a fucking yoga class. Steve laughs and rolls up the sleeves of his sweater, bouncing lightly on his feet.

“Yeah, yeah. Make sure you plant your fucking feet,” Steve replies haughtily before he takes off running, leaping into the air and—

And Billy catches him, like it’s nothing. His legs are kicked out behind him, his back curved up towards the ceiling, and his arms are out like he’s fucking flying. Billy gives him a twirl for good measure, before gently lowering Steve down, achingly slow, their bodies sliding together deliciously until they’re face to face. Steve wraps his arms around Billy’s neck and they spend the next few minutes kissing soft and slow, Billy still holding him up off the ground like he’s weightless.

Steve giggles as Billy starts walking him backwards towards what he assumes is Billy’s bedroom door, scooting up to wrap his legs snugly around Billy’s waist as he carries him across the kitchen.

“You takin’ me to your bedroom, Johnny?” Steve asks on a breathy sigh as Billy forcefully kicks the door open.

“Would you rather me fuck you in the corner, Baby? Cause you know, nobody—”

“Oh my God, just shut up and kiss me.”

part iii

you do not have to be good. you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

-mary oliver

Steve insists Billy meet Robin the next week, because she has to go back to school soon, and he has to politely remind Steve that he has already met Buckley, many times, at your dumb fucking video store, Steve.

It’s not the same, Billy, we weren’t dating then, Steve argues, so Billy rolls his eyes fondly, kisses Steve and whispers, You know I’ll do whatever you want, baby.

So that’s how they end up at Steve’s place, sprawled out on the couch watching The Breakfast Club, because it’s the only movie they all seem to agree on.

Billy had been given a previous heads-up that Robin and Steve were usually kinda touchy with each other, and Steve had told him like he’d be threatened somehow. It was real fuckin’ cute, is what it was.

He likes Buckley, probably more than he’s ever liked a girl in his damn life. She’s smart as a whip and she’s got a hell of a lot of fire in her, which Billy can appreciate. But most of all, he knows she played a part in getting Steve to his front door that night. And that she picked out those jeans. God, those fucking jeans. So, she’s more than okay in his book. If she wants to cuddle up to Steve a little bit, she’s earned it as far as he’s concerned.

Plus, he clocked it a long time ago that she likes girls. That helps, too.

Robin and Steve are so damn natural with each other, the way they sprawl out on the couch together, legs all tangled up. Billy tries to think of a friend who he felt that comfortable with, and comes up empty. Heather, maybe. It was always real easy to work with her at the pool—when no one was looking, she’d make crazy faces at him up on the lifeguard stand to try to make him laugh. His heart starts to ache a little bit, wondering if he could have had a real friend in her. Wondering what her life would have been if it hadn’t been cut short.

Steve seems to notice his stormy expression and leans over to brush a kiss against his ear. “You okay?” he asks, his arm tightening around Billy’s waist. Billy smiles back at him and leans in to kiss him real soft and slow. Robin makes a gagging sound from nearby.

“I’m all right. Just got a little in my mind is all,” Billy murmurs, resting his forehead gently against Steve’s. Steve nods like he understands, a fond smile tugging at his lips.

“So, Hargrove,” Robin begins, reaching over to poke at Billy’s leg with a socked foot. “I hear you can give Swayze a run for his money.”

Billy throws his head back and laughs, grabbing her foot and giving it a vicious tickle before she manages to pull it away, screeching.

“You bet your ass, Buckley. You want me to prove it? Heard good ol’ Stevie dropped you on your ass when he tried.”

“That he did,” agrees Robin sagely, Steve sputtering in indignation as she hops from the couch. “Let’s get to it, then.”

“All right, girlie, let’s see what you got,” Billy replies smoothly, getting up to push the coffee table towards the fireplace. He watches Steve settle in comfortably against the couch cushions, ready for the show to begin. Billy rolls his sleeves up and stretches his neck and arms out real quick, while Robin takes some practice jumps across the room.

He looks over at her, her eyes sparkling with mischief, and sees this for what it is: An offering. We can be friends, Hargrove. Just don’t drop me on my ass.

Billy gestures at Robin with his hand, his body poised and ready—and without hesitation, she takes off towards him from the other end of the living room. He has only seconds to marvel at her confidence in him before she’s flying through the fucking air, soaring right above his head, and he has to step back a few paces because she’s gone too fucking far, but by some God-given miracle he still catches her, hoisting her up above his head and whooping in relief.

She’s laughing as he twirls her around, which quickly devolves into screeching when he drops her and swiftly catches her in his arms.

“Oh my God,” she exclaims, draping a hand over her eyes dramatically as she hangs loosely in his hold, “I’m swooning, Hargrove. Now put me down.”

Billy does as he’s told, depositing her carefully onto the ground, before she’s running full tilt past Steve and up the stairs.

“Steve, I’m borrowing your mom’s video camera. Hargrove, you better get ready to do that again!” she screams from the top of the stairs before she disappears down the hall.

Steve laughs and pulls Billy down onto the couch with him, pressing him gently into the cushions. “That was pretty sexy,” Steve breathes, nuzzling against Billy’s cheek.

“Only wanna dance with you, baby,” Billy replies, feeling like his heart’s about to burst through his ribcage as Steve’s brown eyes go all soft.

“Jesus Christ, I leave you two for ten seconds and you’re already horizontal,” comes Robin’s voice from behind the couch. Steve clambers off of Billy, and Billy wants to kiss every inch of the blush spreading across his face and down to his chest.

“You’re on film duty,” Robin announces, handing Steve the video camera once she gets it all queued up. He starts rolling and Billy shoots some finger guns his way while Robin makes a big show of stretching.

Steve shoots him a tender smile from behind the camera, and Billy feels a light blush burning its way across his cheeks—and worst of all, it’s been caught on film.

But as he glances over at Robin, who’s grinning at him widely as she rocks back and forth on her feet, ready to run at him again, he thinks he might want to watch this back again someday.

Because somehow, without even asking for it, without even daring to hope, he finally has everything he’s ever wanted. Steve Harrington, looking at him like he’s something worth having, worth keeping. And Robin Buckley, the first real friend he’s ever had.

And if it took Patrick Swayze to get him here, well—he might just owe the guy a big fucking thank you.

[billyhardgrove]

48 with Billy Hargrove? Thanks!!

48 - “I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”

A/N: I’m sorry but the idea that kept coming to mind for this one was angsty and I gotta say I really enjoyed writing it xx

Warnings: Slight smut, Billy being a dick, swearing

Word Count: 2.1k (approx.)

You glanced at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time, your frown getting deeper and deeper as the minute hand continued to move further and further past the time the pair of you had agreed.

“Where the hell are you, Billy?” You mumbled to yourself, the patience you had having long expired. It wasn’t really like him to be so late for a date, well at least you considered and hoped it was a date. When he had said to you in school that he’d be at your house at 6PM tonight so the two of you could go out together, you thought he was being all sweet and mysterious, not explicitly stating what he really had planned for your birthday. In fact, he hadn’t really mentioned anything about your special day, not even wishing you a happy birthday, but it was just to add to the element of surprise for tonight, you thought. Play the old ‘I forgot it was your birthday’ card just to find out he had something incredible planned for later that night.

Billy wasn’t particularly romantic; it just didn’t come naturally to him. He was more of a possessive jealous boyfriend that made sure to show to everyone just exactly who you belonged to and to not even think of going anywhere near you. Even when it was the two of you, he made sure to show you who’s girl you were, with the various love bites and thirsty pillow talk, you enjoyed it immensely, but you wouldn’t describe it as romantic. Yes, you sometimes fell into serious deep conversations, and on some occasions in the perfect setting there would be some cuddles and hand holding behind closed doors, but that was about the peak of it. No flowers, no candle lit dinners, no moonlit walks. That just wasn’t Billy, and you were ok with that… for the most part. Perhaps just sometimes you hoped he would do something a little sweeter to show how much he cared for you, and what perfect way to do that but for your birthday. So that’s the expectation you held in your mind.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you smoothed out your skirt and fluffed your hair a bit more to give it extra volume. Since Billy hadn’t told you where the two of you were going that night, it made picking an appropriate outfit that little bit harder but you managed to find something that was both sexy and somewhat practical, suitable for whatever the two of you would be getting up to. But you knew by the end of the night it most likely wouldn’t matter since whatever you wore would end up on the floor.

Glancing back at the clock once more, you couldn’t believe it was now after 7PM. Out of the 6 months the pair of you had been dating, he had never been this late except once in which it turned out he had got into conflict with his dad.

God, you hoped he was alright, you hoped his dad hadn’t gone off on him. At the thought, your annoyance turned to worry.

As you bit your lip out of concern, your eyes fell on your mum’s car keys. Should you drive to Billy’s just in case? Just to make sure everything was ok? The idea stuck with you as you debated upon checking up on him. But no alternative reason for his lateness sprung to mind as the image of Billy covered in blood and bruises overrode your mind. And with that, your hands were subconsciously grabbing the keys as you rushed out to your mum’s car.

The journey to Billy’s felt longer than it was, but finally you found yourself turning onto his street and to no one’s surprise you spotted the blue Camaro parked outside his house right away. He was still at home.

At least he didn’t get into a car accident, you thought, for that was another possibility that had sprung to your mind on the drive over.

Putting your car in park, you got out and began making your way up his driveway. However, it was then you noticed that Billy’s Camaro was the only car parked outside the house.

‘So Neil and Susan were out?’ You wondered. Perhaps after the conflict, Neil had bolted, not wanting to even be in the same house as his son. Yes, that was probably what it was.

But then that meant what you assumed was true; Billy was most likely inside, covered black and blue.

Knocking on the front door, you waited for a moment but there didn’t appear to be much noise coming from inside.

You knocked again, this time calling softly. “Billy, are you in there? It’s me. You were late for our date and I was worried… Are you ok?”

Still, there was no answer, so you tried the door handle, pushing it and it opened easily. You knew Billy probably wouldn’t care that you entered the home without permission, so long as you were next to him; so long as you were there to comfort him and make everything was ok again.

“Billy?” You called out once more, but the hallway was dead. Where could he be? His car was outside, so he had to be in here somewhere, you thought.

Wandering into the kitchen, nothing. Walking into the living area, nothing. It was only when you went to try his bedroom that there was finally something. Relief settled over your chest at the thought that he was at least here reassured you, but little did you know that you would’ve hoped to have not heard the movement behind his bedroom door if you had known what it really was.

And soon that relief you felt was replaced with confusion the closer you stepped towards that closed door. It wasn’t until you were outside the door that you finally came to terms with what you were hearing.

“God, yes Billy, right there!” The moans filled your ears, trailing behind the colour red as it isolated your vision.

Pushing open the door, you saw what you feared the most; Billy was behind a girl that wasn’t you, his hips ramming against her ass roughly causing the bed to creak and the headboard to hit against the wall. Her face was pressed against the mattress as she moaned out in pleasure and it felt like poison.

Neither of the two noticed you until the door had hit the wall upon you opening it. It was then that Billy’s head snapped to the doorway, an expression of annoyance and anger, at first, to whoever was interrupting him until he realised who was interrupting him.

“Shit,” he cursed, instantly pulling out of the girl as she looked over in confusion before too noticing that you stood there, and hurriedly she pulled the bed covers up over her naked body.

“Y/N, baby, it’s not what it looks like-“ he began and you just laughed sadistically at him. Did he really think that you were that stupid? ‘It’s not what it looks like’ – he made you sick. You had caught him red handed and he had the audacity to make it out as though he wasn’t fucking some other girl right in front of you.

“You’re a fucking pig.” You spat, impressing yourself at how you weren’t crying. You were so overwhelmed with rage that upset and sadness were the last emotions you were feeling right now. How could he do this to you? How dare he do this to you!

Turning to walk out of the room, Billy managed to grab a hold of your forearm pulling you back. “Y/N, please. I’m sorry, baby. It doesn’t mean anything-“

“You know when you were over an hour late for our date, I thought your dad had laid in on you again!” You yanked your arm out of his grasp, your face going red in rage. “That’s why I came here, to make sure you were ok.” You watched as Billy’s face fell to one of guilt, his shoulders slumping in defeat at how you had turned up expecting the worst on his behalf when really you should have been expecting the worst on yours. “But instead what do I find, Billy?”

“It didn’t mean anything, though.” He tried again, his eyes pleading with you to understand. Understand what? That he was willing to ruin your relationship over a measly fuck that didn’t mean shit to him?

“Oh, well thank God for that!” You shouted, throwing your hands up in the air in faux relief. “Thank fucking God it didn’t mean anything, Billy! You know what? In that case, I forgive you! Because, you know, fucking some girl that doesn’t mean anything to you is so much better than fucking a girl that does. Thank God you ruined our relationship over someone that doesn’t matter!” You were hysterical at this point, in utter disbelief at how he was trying to justify it all. Part of you almost hoped that the girl did mean something to him and that way he hadn’t destroyed this relationship for nothing. You felt it was more disrespectful and humiliating for you that the girl was nobody than if she was in fact some other girl that Billy had fallen for. “You’ve just thrown our relationship away for what? Nothing.” You spat at him, and Billy was quiet, not knowing what to say that could make the situation better.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to calm yourself down; everything was so intense, and senses were high, you needed a moment to try and comprehend and come to terms with what exactly was happening. Billy still just stood there; his head hung low like a puppy that knew he was in trouble.

“You know, I really didn’t think you could get any less romantic than you already are.” You sighed, swallowing the bile forming in your throat. “But, God, for my birthday, finding you fucking someone else is exactly what I wanted. How did you know?” You sneered, sarcastically.

You just couldn’t believe what had happened, you were in shock and surprise and disbelief for coming over to Billy’s house tonight, this was the last thing you expected to walk in on. But then you beat yourself for feeling that way because this was Billy Hargrove you were talking about. Everyone knew he didn’t know commitment. It made you feel a fool.

How stupid could you be to think that he had prepared a romantic date tonight to spoil you on your birthday? Billy wasn’t capable of romance. It was so fucking clear now and you felt naïve to think otherwise.

“It’s your birthday?” Billy murmured in question, his eyebrows raising in surprise before his whole face fell to one of even more guilt. Now that he looked at you and took in your appearance, he saw how gorgeous you looked, your hair and makeup done as though ready to be spoilt throughout the night. And you should’ve been, but Billy made sure that didn’t happen.

“Wow,” you took a step back as though his words had shoved you, and you just stared at him, taking in his shock. You could feel the knife in your heart turn even more as you realised even more of just how stupid you had been today. He wasn’t pretending earlier today. Billy really had forgotten your birthday. And obviously he had absolutely nothing planned or prepared for your special day. God, you were such a fool, such a fucking fool.

Closing your eyes, you shook your head in utter disappointment, finally feeling your eyes begin to fill with tears as the adrenaline of the situation drained from you. There was no way you were going to let him see you cry. And that was what it took for you to finally pick up the little pride you had left before turning and racing out of his house, your eyes flooding as you could finally release a sob you had been trying to hide.

Billy stood at his doorway, staring at the place where you had been moments before, as the weight of what exactly he had done crushed upon his shoulders. He didn’t mean for it to happen, but he was Billy Hargrove; this is what he did. He couldn’t contain himself when he got attention from other girls, and he felt his throat tighten, disappointed that this time he had gotten caught and this time he had finally ruined everything.

He felt the other girl’s hand trail up along his back and over his shoulders, before he felt her tug him gently back towards the bed. And it was then that he finished what he had started, for what else did he have to lose now?

[eds-trashmouth]

Can You Hear My Heart Beat For You? (2/3)

A/N: I know it’s been literally forever. But I did it. I finished this part. I decided to end it here and part 3 is going to be the sexy time. So there will be smut, but this one was already long. I’ll link part 1 incase you need to reread it. I know it’s been so long. Also, I will be finishing the second part of Good Side. I just figured I should finish this first since I started it first. Also my girl Sara gave me the idea for Eddie to say he’s lovesick (the scene went differently than I thought it would so it’s not exactly what we talked about but I still wanted to give her credit for that one)

Pairing: Reddie

Word Count: 3,000k+

Rating: PG-13 for trashmouth

Part 1

(AO3)

-

8 days 1 hour and 17 minutes

Eddie could not for the life of him get his mother to make him another appointment. He knew he couldn’t fake something too terrible, it had to be small and fixable. Like a cold. But the last time he went for a cold he came running out of the doctors room like a bat outta hell so his mother has been worried about sending him back to that doctor. He still refused to tell her exactly why he was running but she accepted the simple “I didn’t wanna be at the doctor anymore Ma” answer so really what more could Eddie ask for.

He had asked Bill a hundred times what he should get a check up for but Bill refused to help him lie to get a guys number.

“Just go into the office and ask for him. Easy.”

“It’s not easy Bill! How many times do I gotta say it?!”

“Oh my dear Eddie. It is indeed that easy. You just can’t accept the fact that you have to put yourself out there to get what you want.” Maybe Bill was right. He couldn’t just expect the world to work around him and his insecurities. He had to step up and take control of his own love life.

“Okay Billy, you’re right. Time to put myself out there.” Eddie stood up quickly, wiped his sweaty palms on his pants, and stormed out of the room. Not even 10 seconds later he was coming back in.

“This is my room, my mom won’t let you stay here alone...”

“It’s also almost midnight on a Friday, I doubt the doctors office is open.” Eddie’s eyes widened.

“Oh yeah. That too...”

It’s been days since Bill had told Eddie to stop being a pussy. As the days passed, so did Eddie’s confidence. It only took him 2 days 20 hours and 56 minutes to decide...he was a coward. There was no way he was going to just march into a doctor’s office to get some perfect boy’s number. He could, however, ask a certain hopeless romantic to help him out.

“Ben, I just need your advice.” Eddie had told him the whole story as soon as he answered. However, he called him on a Monday, his day for studying so Ben was a little less than helpful. He could hear a sigh and rustling on the other side of the phone then silence. He waited.

“Eddie, you do realize you’re an adult right?”

“Of course I do Ben. But I can’t just go and ask him. I just can’t. What if he says no?”

“You’re missing my point. You’re an adult. You can make your own appointment, and go by yourself. Then go from there.”

“Oh,” How had he not thought of that himself. It was so obvious. He wouldn’t have to worry about his mom, and if he changed his mind he could just leave. “You’re right. I can totally do that. Thanks Ben.”

“You’re welcome Eddie. Now please let me get back to his paper. It’s due by midnight.”

“Yes sir! You got this Ben.” And with that, he hung up. He would call in the morning and set up an appointment.

1 day 12 hours 8 minutes

It was time for his appointment. Walking through the too familiar hospital had his stomach churning. His mind kept racing. What if Tozier was taken? What if he was a jackass? What if he was straight?! He pushed down all his thoughts and took a deep breath before opening the waiting room door. He could tell by the mass of people that he’d probably have to wait awhile. There were at least five different families waiting to be seen. Each more annoying than the next. The first name called was an adorable little girl with her hand wrapped in gauze. Eddie assumed some kind of cut; probably pretty bad if they’re coming to the doctor. Eddie got a little nauseous just thinking about it.

He waited an entire hour to be called. Perhaps they were short on staff today. The same fiery redhead called for him with a smile. This was it. This was his chance. Did he know for sure Dr. Tozier would be performing his check up? No. But he decided if he didn’t see Tozier today then that was fate telling him it wasn’t meant to be. This was his ONLY chance. The nurse led him back through the same hallways and down to a similar room as before.

“The Doctor will be with you shortly, you’re welcome to have a sucker while you wait. Oh, I’m Beverly by the way. In case you need anything.” With a smile and small wave, Beverly was out the door. Eddie could feel his anxiety starting to show its ugly head. In just a few short moments he would, hopefully, be face to face with the man of his

dreams. Tozier wasn’t even here yet and Eddie could already tell his face was pink. He would just simply ask. ‘Want sum fuk?’ And that would be that. He had to be casual. He couldn’t let him know he’s been pining since the last visit. A soft knock on the door kicked him back to reality.

“Come in.” Eddie heard himself speak as if on impulse. The door opened and he almost cried. There stood a short middle aged woman, her blonde hair pulled into a tight bun.

“I’m Dr. Sylvia, what seems to be the problem today?” Her voice was soft but confident. Suddenly he forgot what he even thought of to say. He was only thinking of Tozier. Fuck. He obviously didn’t have a cold. He wasn’t throwing up.

“Uhh, I’ve been having some minor pain in my finger and I was wondering if I uh broke it?” The Doctor squinted a little as if confused, then nodded and walked close to Eddie.

“Which one seems to be the problem?” Her hand held out waiting for Eddie to place his.

“My uh, left middle.” He gave her his left and watched as she began bending his finger with no issues. She pressed softly on each section of knuckle. Eddie hissed a bit when she got to where his finger met his palm, realizing he should at least pretend something hurt.

“So here?” She pressed again a bit harder.

“Yeah, it’s not too bad. I was just worried.” She nodded once again.

“Well, it’s most definitely not broken. I believe it could just be that you smashed it a little or hit it on something. I’m sure it’ll get better all on it own.”

“Thank you miss.” He was embarrassed.

“You may leave whenever you like. Thank you for coming in today.” She left the room as Eddie let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. That was his chance, and Tozier wasn’t here. It was silly of him to think he would have the exact same intern over two weeks later. But wishful thinking is Eddie’s specialty he supposed.

13 hours 45 minutes

After his less than successful trip to the doctor Eddie decided the world hated him enough today, and he would stay in. Forever. Or at least until tomorrow. Sadly, his friends had other plans. Around 10pm there was a small rock on his window. Then another three hit simultaneously. He knew it was Bill, that was his signal to sneak out. He couldn’t be bothered to moved. The covers helped to hide his sadness, his pathetic sadness, from not getting a date with a stranger. A wonderfully eccentric stranger. It’s just...nothing had ever felt that easy. He never felt something so electric so quickly. It was like there was a magnet attached to Tozier’s lab coat or something. He was attracted immediately. His phone rang, pulling him out of his thoughts. With a sigh he answered.

“Stop moping and come out to the new over 18 club with us! It’ll get your mind of your love life. Hell, maybe you’ll even find a cute boy to dance with.” He expected Bill, not Mike, to be calling him. He could easily tell Bill no, but Mike? Everyone knew he’d never say no to hanging out with his homeschooled friend.

“Mike...I just. Wanna lie here and wallow.” If Mike let it go then he’d be golden. He could just stay in bed for the rest of his days.

“Cmon Eddie. Come dance with us. It’ll be fun I promise.” With a sigh and a small squeak Eddie agreed. Saying goodbye and getting up to get dressed. He knew he wouldn’t have time to tame his bedhead the way he’d like to so he settled for just brushing it back into a beanie. He never wore beanies, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t look cute in one. The light blue beanie matched his light blue v-neck he paired with a pair of black overall shorts. Of course a huge hoodie to cover him until they got to the club as well. A quick and easy outfit, perfect for dancing but not enough to get any unwanted attention. He’d go, dance with the boys a little, then make an excuse to go home.

The club was about a 15 minute drive in Mike’s old pickup. It was still in the city but almost on the outskirts. Eddie watched as buildings faded and passed by the window. His mind still going back to that cute set of curls with an adorable face to match. He was utterly infatuated and there’s nothing that he could do about it. He didn’t even know his fucking name. His plan had failed. His simple, basic, stupid plan. Failed. The dark blue exterior was lit up with seemingly every colored light imaginable. “Nerve” in bright neon caught Eddie’s eye immediately. It was nice. Definitely a dance club.

As they got to the bouncer, the music from inside came busting through the doors. Although muffled, he could still tell they were playing some rap song with a good beat. Getting in the door was easy enough though, Bill and Eddie were now sporting a black X on their right hands symbolizing they were underage. No drinking for them. The other boys went straight for the bar while Bill and Eddie grabbed a booth on the side of the giant dance floor. They would go actually dance later but for now Eddie just wanted to sit.

“So how was Doctor tall nerdy and curly today?”

“Nonexistent.” Eddie looked at his palms, a little embarrassed.

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“I should’ve known it was a dumb plan. He only filled in the last time because the doctor was busy. I didn’t even see him. The world just has it out for me Billy.”

“Cmon Eddie. You know that’s not true. So you didn’t get to ask out this guy? Oh well. There are plenty of guys out there. I know you gotta sort through the bullshit but it’s not like you’re destined meet your soulmate at 19. You have plenty of time my friend!”

“I know, it’d just be nice to have a boyfriend ya know? Or at least a date every now and then so I don’t feel like I’m making absolutely zero progress.” At that, Mike and Ben walked over with some mixed drinks and a few waters.

“These bad boys are for you bad boys.” Mike winked giving a water to both of the younger boys. After that, the conversation went casual. Boring casual, but casual. Eddie was in his own little world. Still wallowing in disappointment. He was watching Mike and Bill talking but couldn’t get himself to actually listen. His mind always going back.

“I’m gonna head to the bathroom. Then probably dance a little, I’ll come get you before I go out there.” Eddie excused himself from the booth and went searching for the bathrooms. It didn’t take too long, just down a hallway, then some stairs, then to the left. On his way through the hallway he spotted an outdoor area with some chairs and tables. Probably for smokers. The bathrooms were nice enough, for a club at least. No vomit on the floor and no shit smeared on the walls so it’s got that going for it. He did his business, washed his hands for exactly 20 seconds, and headed back up the stairs. An obnoxious voice caught his attention as he walked past the outdoor area. Looking toward the voice, his breath hitched.

There he was. Still tall. Less nerdy. More curly. He wore a black flannel over a vintage band tee and ripped black skinny(ish) jeans. He was a walking wet dream. His hair seemed to curl out in every direction and his glasses nowhere to be seen. He couldn’t help but stare, the guy he’d been pining over for weeks was standing 15 feet away. Right next to the redheaded nurse, Beverly? If he remembered correctly. Like some kind of destiny. Eddie was never one to believe in destiny, so maybe it was his doubts that made him walk away or maybe it was just his anxiety but as he met Tozier’s eyes he walked.

More like he ran, as he decided to leave he caught a glimpse of the set of curls making their way toward him. And he ran, like he always did, hoping to whatever would listen that Tozier hadn’t seen him and he could just go to the dance floor and disappear. The dance floor was dark, only a few lights from the stage to illuminate it, and a giant group of people. It was perfect to hide in. He made his way to the middle, slowly moving his hips to the beat as he walked to make it seem like he was dancing. Surprisingly once he got to the middle he saw Mike and some boy dancing. Well more like grinding on each other. As he got closer he could see blonde curls and a cute face. Mike sure does have a type, and this boy is one hundred percent it.

“Hey stranger. Took you long enough to get back.” Mike was smiling and turned to his dance partner. “This is Stan. He got ditched while his friends went out to smoke. I told him I’d keep him company.”

“Hi Stan, I’m Eddie. Mind if I dance with you guys?”

“Well of course you can. That’s what we’re here for isn’t it?” Eddie couldn’t help but smile as they went back to dancing. The music seemed to flow through his whole body. He wouldn’t say he was the best dancer but he could definitely keep rhythm. He was questioning wearing shorts in December but out here on this sweaty dance floor he couldn’t be more happy to have them. It’s just a perk that they also made his butt look pretty good.

“Staniel, please tell me you were going to introduce me to these cuties.” Eddie slightly jumped at the loud voice behind him. He saw Stan roll his eyes but smile.

“Of course I wasn’t Trashmouth. I was saving them the hassle of knowing you.” Eddie turned to see who Stan could possibly be talking to like that, however he wasn’t expecting to be met with the familiar face of a beautiful stranger.

“Well, if it’s the cutie from the clinic! Glad to see cancer hasn’t taken you yet! How have you been feeling?”

“Lovesick...” Eddie couldn’t believe that came out of his mouth, but he couldn’t help it. He was staring again. “Uh! Sick, just sick. But uh, I’m o-okay now.”

“How is it that we meet again little Eddie Spaghetti? Seems like fate doesn’t it?” The smile on the taller boy’s face seemed to stretch ear to ear. He was so pretty. Eddie was royally fucked. He couldn’t even speak. He just stared.

“How is it that you managed to weird out the shyest boy here?” Stan was shaking his head watching the interaction.

“He doesn’t mind, do ya Eds?” He winked. He fucking winked, like Eddie wasn’t having an internal crisis right in front of him. He wanted to speak but with the shock of Tozier standing in front of him he couldn’t say a word.

“Ya alright there Eddie? Do you need to sit down?” Mike was to his side instantly, checking on him. Eddie really didn’t deserve him and he’d remind him of that later. When he could speak. “Let’s get you to Bill and Ben.”

“Wait. I’m a Doctor. I’m sure I can help him.” Tozier was still being as cocky as ever and something about him drives Eddie crazy.

“You’re an intern, not a doctor.” It came out like word vomit. It seemed like Eddie either said too much or nothing at all. If the rudeness of his statement offended the boy he didn’t show it. He simply smiled that ear reaching smile and bent down to get a closer look at Eddie.

“How high is that heart rate, do you think sugar?” His face was inches away and Eddie couldn’t help but count the freckles splattered across his face. His eyes scanned his whole face taking inventory of those freckles, landing lastly on his lips. He could tell they were a little chapped but in this moment Eddie couldn’t think of anything more appealing than smashing his soft lips into them.

“My eyes are up here darling, at least ask my name before undressing me with your eyes.” Eddie felt two fingers lifting his chin so he could get a look into his eyes.

“I-I wasn’t undressing y-you. Don’t be so cocky, it’s not a flattering look on you.” Tozier’s mouth hung open, definitely not expecting Eddie to have an answer.

“He’s a fiesty one! I like a spicy bottom.” It was Eddie’s turn for his jaw to hit the floor. Mike and Stan watched as the boys slipped into their own little world right there on the dance floor.

“A little forward, huh?”

“When I see something I want? Definitely. I can show you just how forward I can be if you’d let me check out that little body of yours again.”

“I don’t even know your name, as you so crudely pointed out seconds ago. Unless your parents named you Trashmouth and for that I’d say I’m so sorry.”

“What can I say? I’m just talented with my mouth.” That smirk again. “You definitely need my name, so you know what you’ll be screaming later. Richie, Richie Tozier. At you service luv.” Eddie cringed at the terrible British accent but couldn’t help feeling smitten at the same time.

“Well Richie. I’m not one to go home with just anyone. So no can do my good sir.” This time Eddie slipped into a British accent, making Richie’s smile even wider.

“My lord, you are perfect.” The sudden softness in his voice sent a shiver through Eddie’s entire body. He was back in Eddie’s face, he could feel his breath on his lips. “Let me at least take you out. I can’t let you run out of my life like I let you run out of that exam room.”

Without anymore thought, Eddie surged forward catching Richie’s lips with his. It didn’t take long for him to feel Richie’s tongue working his mouth open. He’s never been a fan of smoking, but he could get used to the taste of this Trashmouth.

“How about you pick me up tomorrow? I’ll go to dinner with you then we can see where it goes from there loverboy.”

“That sounds like dream.”

-Taglist

@richietoaster @geckolover001 @pennys-pet-kitty @aesteddie @elhopps @summerxle @mexicanqt @punkrocktozier @richietczicr @tozier-club @kristashae @princesass-theresa @dandeliontozier @doctor-lobster @queennugget3 @halfway-happy353 @reddieafterdark @beep-beep-reddie @hmufinn @stanuterus @not-reddie @curlywheelers @i-is-gazebo @temptedtozier @reddie-to-fight @girasol-eddie @mirandonsky @annoyingtozier @sedanleystanley @richieshawaiianshirts @tyrror

Let me know if you want to be tagged, should’ve been tagged, or no longer want to be tagged!!

[prettyboiiharringrove]

Imaginary Friends

Witches && Prey i // read part two here // read on ao3

warnings: mentions of blood, suicidal ideation, actual suicide, major character death, child abuse, addiction, forced drug use, this shit is like emo as hell i’m not going to lie to you. this part does not have a happy ending i’m sorry fam, witchy steve, my sad boiis. I’m so sorry this took so long, I hope you guys love it. the rest are on the way

Harringrove Halloween Countdown — October 12

Demons like to prey on the weak, things are just easier that way. Maybe a little messier, but sometimes vulnerable kids and drug addicts are more convenient, more simple, more breakable; sad to say Billy Hargrove is both and that makes him easy prey, no matter how rabid he pretends to be.

Billy lost his mother young, hardly knew her, and Neil Hargrove, the closest to a monster a human can get, soul already rotten and deteriorating, finds that a small lonely boy with mommy issues and a bad habit of poor judgement and misplaced loyalty will do whatever is asked of him if it guarantees him his father’s approval.

Billy used to be able to fall asleep if Neil promised him chocolate chip waffles and tucked him in at night, but then Neil got lonely and angry, and he noticed that all he had to do was promise not to hit Billy and to hold him while he cried and Billy would fall asleep. Billy grew, Neil’s arms got tired, and his restraint deteriorated. The thought of having to promise Billy he wouldn’t hit him just made him want to hurt him more, so instead he would sit with his bloody son, help him wash up, and crush up some pain pills in his dinner, sneak some sleeping meds into his water.

When Neil starts dating Susan and going out for dinner instead of staying in with Billy, Billy can’t understand why he shakes and vomits, why everything hurts despite Neil not being home to lay a finger on him, not until he hears his mother’s voice urging him to wipe the sick off his face and crawl to his father’s room. He finds the pills in his father’s bedside table. What hurts the most is that he isn’t surprised; his father has been drugging him every damn night to the point of addiction, and he’s only fifteen.

“How long?” he’s unsure why he’s speaking, knows that hearing his mother’s voice must have been a hallucination, a product of his drug addled brain coming down from withdrawal.

“Does it matter?” she whispers, and Billy can feel her sit down next to him even though he can’t quite see her, just notices that where he’s looking through her, the picture is a bit distorted; then again, that could be his own tears obstructing his vision.

“Guess not,” he whispers, pouring a few of the pills in his hands and gagging a bit as he swallows them dry. He feels disappointment in the air, maybe even a little anger, but he hears nothing more. He doesn’t hear from his mother until the weekend when Neil goes out to dinner with Max and Susan and leaves Billy to clean up the house.

——————

This goes on for eight months until Billy finally realizes why he senses disappointment every time he pops those pills. She wants him to take more, wants him to down both bottles in one go.

“I’m so lonely baby. Come on, you don’t want to be with him anymore. Don’t you remember how good I was to you ??” it sends chills down his spine, but he finds himself inclined to listen. Even so, he denies her, he decides to live, even if just a little longer.

——————

Neil marries Susan after ten months, and packs everyone up and moves them to Hawkins after eighteen. Billy has no one. No more friends, not a loving father, and he thinks he’s leaving his mother behind, even worse his dealer. Neil’s supply was weak and dwindling, and Billy could put on a good show with his protein shakes and ridiculous workouts, but without his pills, he’d turn into a sad sack of shit. His theory is that it’s probably a lot harder to score prescription drugs in Indiana than California; for whatever fucking reason though, Neil refuses to leave him behind.

He’s angry, and lonely, and when his mother shows up a few days later he’s so relieved to see her, to have someone by his side, that he almost takes her up on her invitation. He doesn’t though, because tomorrow’s Halloween and maybe he can get in one good fuck before he says goodbye to his shithead father and small town Hawkins.

He doesn’t expect to be so enamored with Steve though. Steve Harrington seems like the type of guy worth moving to some place as shitty as Hawkins for; if he was less rich kid asshole and his snooty little girlfriend were to get hit by a car, King Steve would be his fucking dream.

He can’t get Steve out of his head, and the more enamored he becomes with the fucking princess, the less his mom comes around, and when she is around she seems angry. Billy hates having her upset with him, especially since she’s the only thing that makes him feel safe anymore. He downs a few extra pills when he sees her; not enough to do serious damage, but enough to signify a promise. Some day he’ll say yes; it seems to appease her for a while.

——————

The night of the fight, Billy barely makes it home. It makes sense that whatever was in that syringe took a little while to put him on the ground considering it practically takes horse tranquilizers to get him to sleep these days; if he was willing to go anywhere close to Max any time soon, he might think to ask her where the hell she got it, since it seemed to be the good stuff.

He’s just out of it enough to forget how fucking stupid he’ll be if he walks through that door without Max by his side. His first thought is to crawl into his warm bed, his second thought was that he didn’t have the time or energy to run or fight. He’s on the ground fast and he tastes his own blood. He doesn’t know why, but it somehow tastes differently than when Steve had hit him. It doesn’t take long for Neil to back off. He hears Susan get out of the bathroom after her shower and shoves Billy in his room before he can even think.

His mother comes. He says yes. Suddenly he’s pressing the pill bottle to his lips, and for the first time he notices the name on the bottle, the person it was actually prescribed to. Vivian Harrington. Billy can’t help but laugh, the fucking pretty boy probably sold his mom’s sleeping pills for a pretty penny just to piss her off because god knows he didn’t need the money. Somehow he gets it in his head that he needs to see Steve one last time before he goes, that he needs to apologize otherwise he’s no better than Neil.

“Not yet,” he whispers, setting the bottle on the floor; it falls to its side, a few spilling out. Billy’s used to the disappointment his mother feels by now, but he’s burned by a flash of her rage. She calms herself quickly; Billy’s terrified.

“Soon though, right Billy?? We’ll be together soon ??” Billy nods, makes sure to never break a promise to her again, otherwise she might take matters into her own hands.

——————

The concept of seeing Steve’s face one last time takes a while. It starts out with two major problems ; one — the face Billy wants to see isn’t the one that’s all battered and bruised thanks to his fists. Billy wants to see those dimples, and that smooth skin, that award winning smile, the way he rolls his eyes and scrunches his nose up. Steve doesn’t fully heal for at least three weeks. Two — Billy doesn’t actually know how to apologize for shit like this. Neil hasn’t apologized for beating his ass since he was eleven. It takes him almost two months to muster up the courage, and Steve is apparently over it by then, so he forgives him, thank fuck.

He thinks that should be it, time to go home, down a few pills, and actually be with his mother, to see her with his own eyes, to hold her in his arms, for his spirit to feel whole again even as his corpse lies lifeless on the floor. He thinks that’s going to be the case, until Steve awkwardly asks him if he’s going to that party tonight, like he feels obligated to make conversation even though he owes Billy nothing.

Billy feels butterflies but he smirks, stops thinking about what’ll happen after he dies and more about how nice it’ll be to kiss those plush lips before he goes.

“Only if you are pretty boy,” he doesn’t miss the way Steve blushes; he thinks getting to see that is worth dying for. He’ll be happy, so long as his last night on earth is with Steve.

——————

Billy’s last night on earth turns into five months of Steve rearranging his fucking guts with what Billy has affectionately come to call ‘the real king Steve’, and falling in love in with each other in the meantime. Billy’s mother turns dark and angry, and some nights as she sings Billy old lullabies, he can feel himself choking on thin air. He’s being punished, he knows he is in the same way he knows he somehow deserves every injury Neil gifts him, but he can’t let go of Steve.

His mother hates Steve, even though she’s never actually met him. Apparently he smells odd, which sure the Farrah Faucet hairspray has a unique fragrance, and yeah he smells like a lot of spices which is weird for someone who doesn’t actually bake, but Billy likes how Steve smells and his mom doesn’t have to like him. It doesn’t help that Steve has been slowly helping him come off the pills; she doesn’t want him to get better, not when she’s so so lonely, and Billy gets it, he does, because he used to be lonely too. His mother says Steve has stolen her baby away from her and really, she’s not wrong. Billy hopes she never tries to punish Steve should he enter the house.

On their sixth month anniversary, Steve sneaks over to Billy’s house because Billy’s supposed to watch Max, and he can’t exactly ask his dad to let him go out because then he’d have to come up with some bullshit lie that Neil would definitely look into, or admit he turned bitch for Steve Harrington, which probably would result in a very painful death. He isn’t ready to die anymore, not with Steve and certainly not at the hands of either of his parents. So, Steve being the entitled brat that he is decides to make his way over to Billy’s, and Billy is excited, he really truly is, but he’s also scared his mother will suffocate him and he’ll be all alone again.

Neil and Susan aren’t supposed to be back until morning, so they let Max fuck off to her friend’s house, mostly because it���s Hopper’s house too and he’s way more reliable when it comes to keeping kids alive; Steve just got lucky last year, so it’s probably better that way. That, and this way they get to fuck and then fall asleep curled on the couch.

He wakes up to feel a phantom hand around his throat, chokes out “Mom, please, m-mom,” as he tries to gasp for air.

“You promised !!” she growls, and Steve jolts awake. Billy hears Steve mumble something under his breath and then suddenly the woman — his supposed mother — he’s been talking to all these years comes to life, her skin a charcoal black, her eyes hollow. Billy can breathe again, but he almost forgets to.

“Get away from him !!” Steve barks and Billy thinks he sees sparks fly from Steve’s fingertips, but he’s also still dizzy from the lack of oxygen and he’s kind of seeing stars. He barely has time to react before she’s lunging at Steve. He wants to beg for mercy, swear to go with her if she’ll just leave Steve alone, but the words won’t come out. Even more shocking, as she hurdles herself towards Steve, the bright light that originally seemed like small static sparks grows, flowing from Steve’s fingertips without warning, preventing her from touching him. Each time she tries to touch the light, she hisses, until she becomes too weak to keep fighting and retreats; Billy knows she’ll be back, she always comes back.

The first thing Steve does is pull Billy into his lap and check him for any injuries that weren’t already there from Neil. There’s some new bruising around his neck but that’s it. Billy notices that his fingertips are still hot, but they don’t burn, they seem to sooth him, to offer up some relief. After a few moments Steve grabs the blanket they had been sharing, wraps it around Billy, and drags him to the kitchen.

Steve gets to work the second he finds out where Susan keeps all the spices, and Billy moves to sit on the counter and watch him. Billy’s either exhausted, in shock, or far too used to trauma, because he isn’t freaking out like he probably should be.

Ten minutes later Steve is shoving a mug in his face. It smells weird, and if he didn’t just watch Steve make it, he would assume it was that fancy French tea Steve’s mom buys that he always makes him drink after a particularly rough night with Neil. He’s starting to wonder if it’s ever actually been tea. He gets this sick feeling in his stomach, similar to when he found out Neil had been drugging him, except he trusts Steve. He chugs it down, ignores how his fingers twitch when he stops himself from going to grab the bottle of pills he keeps hidden for the really bad nights. After a few moments, the soreness around his throat and in his muscles starts to ease up, the itch for his fix starts to fade and now all he craves is Steve. He doesn’t have to ignore that need for long, not when Steve steps between his legs and holds Billy’s face in his hands, looking concerned.

“How you feeling baby?” Steve questions nervously, and Billy shrugs like he always does, because he feels sad, and scared, and betrayed but nothing hurts anymore, and nothing’s ever going to change, so it’s whatever.

“Baby, I need you to answer me. Creatures like that, they’re really dark and really powerful. I need to know you’re okay,” his thumb brushes gently against Billy’s cheek and normally that would sooth him, but this time Steve’s said something that’s got him worried.

“Creature?”

“Yeah, a shadow beast, a demon. That monster, you saw it right ?”

“She’s not a monster,” Billy argues sadly, because she had just tried to kill him, and it was all too similar to Neil, but this was different, Billy broke his promise.

“Billy it was choking you, of course it’s a monster,” Steve looks concerned but also extremely confused, which sucks because if they both don’t know what the hell is going on, they might be here for a while.

“I told her I would go with her, I told her soon, but I chose you. She’s not a monster, she’s just hurt.”

“What?!” Steve sounds angry then, and Billy jumps at the noise, still on edge from his mother’s hand gripping around his throat less than thirty minutes ago, still skittish from when Neil kicked him in the shin and then the ribs the day before. Steve can’t yell, not when Billy’s still so scared and he knows that, but he’s worried and it’s hard to keep his cool at a time like this. Still, he takes a few moments to steel himself. He looks at Billy with soft eyes, noting that he’s still a bit shaken up, whether he’ll admit that or even notices being a completely different issue, and realizes that he has to be the voice of reason in this situation. “Baby, why would you make that promise? If things have gotten bad again, you can tell me…”

Bad again Steve says and they both hate how it sounds, because if Steve isn’t with Billy, caging him in his arms and keeping him safe, things are never good, but if Billy was feeling suicidal again, that’s something they need to discuss.

“It’s not like that,” and well, that’s not really a lie because most nights the only thing that makes Billy want to give up is sensing his mother’s frustration or feeling Neil’s knuckles kneed and mark his skin. He doesn’t want to die, not if it means leaving Steve behind, but that doesn’t mean he’s stopped considering it completely. He swallows hard, pulls Steve closer to him using his ankles that are loosely wrapped around his legs just above his knees, and rests his head on Steve’s chest. “She’s my mom,” he admits, and the whisper is nearly as faint as the breeze creeping in through the open kitchen window.

“No she’s not,” as soon as the words leave Steve’s mouth, tears brim in Billy’s eyes. He didn’t think it would hurt this much, Steve assuming he’s crazy. He saw her though, he knows she’s real, so this isn’t fair. He’s supposed to feel safe with Steve, but now he just feels stupid and small.

“I’m not crazy,” he whines where his head is rested on Steve’s right pectoral. Steve feels the fresh tears dripping down his skin. He hates how it makes Billy tremble. He hushes Billy, kisses the top of his head, and sighs. This night just keeps getting longer and longer.

“No one said you were.”

“But you said…you said she’s not —” Billy cuts himself off, trying to keep from sobbing. If Steve is going to judge him, he’s not going to make it worse by being a cry baby.

“I’m sure she said she was your mom. I’m sure she played her game well, said all the right things, but that thing is not your mother. She’s a leech. She preys on those who are hurting, and she found you when you were at your worst.”

Billy wants to argue, but he clings to Steve, shakes his head because he doesn’t want to believe him, but after what he had just seen, the pieces of this puzzle are starting to come together and it’s scaring him.

“No, y-you’re wrong, I know my own mom Steve, I know her,” he doesn’t though. He can barely remember what she looks like. He simply knows what he wants her to be, and this woman or monster that he’s been talking to was good enough. Three years she’s been whispering in his ear, telling him he was loved and wanted. It was so easy to fall for her.

Steve shakes his head. If the circumstances were different, he might just let Billy lives in blissed out ignorance, but Billy was nearly killed tonight, and he can’t sit idly by and let him believe the woman trying to steal him away is someone worthy of his love. He may not be able to stop Neil, not yet anyways, but he can protect Billy from this bit of darkness. If he were the type to pray, he would be begging God that it’s not too late.

“Listen to me, I don’t know who she is and I don’t care, but she tried to kill you tonight Billy. I’ll bet she’s been trying to for a long time,” he doesn’t miss how Billy whimpers; facing the truth hurts almost as much as a harsh blow from Neil. If he thinks too much he can still feel fingernails digging crescent moons into his flesh, both from his father and this mystery phantom. Steve knows by the way Billy tries to hide himself further in Steve’s bare skin that he’s not wrong. “You trust me right ?? You know me. I’m always going to be here for you, I’m gonna protect you.”

Billy finds comfort in the promise, mostly because it’s always been Steve that he chose above everyone else, and now he’s starting to see why. Steve is the only good decision he’s ever made.

——————

It’s a week later when he’s laying in Steve’s bed and he feels the bed dip with weight. At first he’s relieved; he doesn’t like being alone, especially not in a house as big and lifeless as Steve’s. All relief fades when he doesn’t feel Steve’s familiar warmth washing over him. He begins to shiver and when he rolls over to reach for Steve he is met by a cold black gaze. She’s back, his not-mom is back and she followed him to Steve’s house.

He knows what she wants, but he can’t give it to her, not when he knows she’s nothing to him but a liar, an omen of pain, his own sadistic, impatient reaper. He has no idea where Steve is and he can’t go with her without knowing that Steve is safe.

“Go away,” he tries to sound forceful and angry, but it’s clear to see he’s terrified. The figure beside him smirks.

“Don’t be like that sweetie, I’m just here to collect what’s mine,” she whispers, her tongue practically dripping with sugar, her sickeningly sweet disposition making Billy shrink away.

“I’m not yours, I’m nothing to you,” he knows it’s not smart to mouth off to her, but he’s so hurt and angry, and Steve isn’t there to protect him or talk him down, so he’s just going to shoot off at the mouth until she leaves or kills him.

“Don’t say that,” she growls, grabbing him by the jaw. “I’m more of a mother to you than yours ever was. She’s dead William, she’s rotten flesh, dirty bones in the ground somewhere. And your father ?? He’s nothing, he’s a beast. I’m the one who’s been here !! I’m the one who has looked after you all this time. Me, no one else, not even that pretty little thing. He’ll leave too you know, he’ll realize you’re not worth it. I’m the only one who stays with you, haven’t you learned that by now ?!”

“That’s not true !!” maybe, somewhere deep down, Billy actually believes that, but the words coming out of her mouth aren’t exactly new and original ideas. Billy’s last boyfriend was some thirty year old who beat his ass for ‘breaking in’ when his wife caught Billy asleep in their bed. He hasn’t heard from a single friend from California since he left. Neil might not even come down to the morgue to identify his body if he was found dead in a ditch somewhere. Tommy and Carol might miss him, but they have each other, and short attention spans; they’ll move on fast. Steve is too good for him; he’s been eerily awaiting the day he decides Billy isn’t worth his time anymore.

“You know it’s true, don’t deny it. You made me a promise, and you need to keep it. Maybe they’ll miss you at first, but eventually you’ll just be another sad small town tragedy, like that Barb girl. You don’t matter, not to them, only to me. So come with me, stop playing games.”

“Not here, I can’t do it here.”

“That pretty boy of yours is taking a shower. I’m sure we can sneak out before he’s done. He won’t even notice we’re gone.”

“You’re probably right,” Billy sighs, but it doesn’t stop him from leaving a goodbye letter. She doesn’t seem to mind; she’s too giddy from having finally won their game.

——————

He’s in the kitchen, hands trembling as he faces the options he’s given. There’s the all too familiar pills, a block of kitchen knives, and Neil’s gun.

The pills feel like a betrayal; Steve has worked so hard to help Billy be a better, stronger person, he can’t go out like that.

The gun is messy, and although he knows Neil will get satisfaction out of his death no matter what, he feels like using his father’s bullets gives him too much power.

The knife is messy too, and as much as he loves the idea of being one last inconvenience, one big ugly red stain in Neil Hargrove’s reputation as well as his kitchen tile, he knows it’s going to be Hopper, or Susan, or god forbid Steve, cleaning up his mess.

“I can’t do this,” he bites down on his now bloodied lip as tears spill down his cheeks. “I can’t do this without him, I can’t leave him.”

“Then don’t. Billy, baby, please,” Billy jumps; he hadn’t noticed Steve walk into the house.

Billy hears his demon scoff, but soon she’s chuckling, something thick and dirty, like she knows something he doesn’t. This time Steve can’t hear her. His eyes stay locked on Steve. Billy wishes he could say this was the first time Steve has caught him in a situation like this, but it’s not. This time it’s different though. Billy is closer to death than he’s ever been.

“You know,” she begins, smooth tone wrapping around Billy like velvet. “We could take him too pet. This world, it’s no good for people like you, and we could have a little witch on our team. It could be so much fun, and neither of you will ever be alone again,” she nudges the knives towards him  as a gentle hint.

“No, no, not him, please, he’s good,” Billy begs; he won’t mind if his last words, his dying breath are used to protect Steve.

“I know he’s good sweetheart, you’re both so good. Come on, don’t you want him, forever??” She’s always known just what to say. Billy wants him so desperately; he wants to hold Steve and never let go, but more than anything he wants Steve to be safe and happy.

He nods, swallows hard and turns away from Steve.

“Billy, come on, it’s gonna be okay,” Steve’s tone is gentle, cautious, like he’s approaching a scared, caged animal. He’s always known the best way to talk to Billy.

He picks up the butcher knife and turns to Steve. Steve steps back, and Billy can’t blame him. He knows how this looks. Billy’s thought about killing on more than one occasion, but even when he was pummeling Steve with his fists, he was never really the target of his aggression.

“If I do this, you promise it’ll be over?? It won’t hurt anymore ??”

“Yes,” they both whisper, tones soft and patient. Yes, the pain will stop once you shed blood, she means. Yes, the pain will stop if you put the knife down and come to me, Steve means. He wants to believe Steve, but there has always only ever been one clear ending for Billy, and he decides to stop putting it off.

He raises the knife to his throat, and Steve looks more scared than he did when the knife was aimed at him. Steve tries to move quick and stop him, but that just rushes Billy’s shaking hand. The cut is rough and he tastes blood within an instant. It burns and he’s having trouble keeping himself up.

“You’re such a good boy,” the demon finally shows herself to the world, and Steve isn’t surprised, just angry. It’s the last Billy sees of her, because she’s smart enough to leave before getting into another fight with Steve.

The last thing he sees is Steve’s face, so soft and loving. He wishes he weren’t crying, but beggars can’t be choosers. The last thing he feels is Steve cradling and shaking his cold aching body in his warm arms. The last thing he hears is “Baby please, don’t leave me, please. I love you.”

His final thought is one of both guilt and appreciation. There’s no better way to die than by Steve Harrington’s side.

[drawacharge]

emperor’s new clothes

ok so hi. this has been sitting in my drafts for a .... while. and i’m gonna’ post it bc it’s long lmao. i also had an idea for a valentine’s day esque nsfw sequel to this but idk?? btw, just a warning-- this is in steve’s pov and billy’s pov is my comfort zone so if it sucks Sorry 

There’s something about almost dying too many times that makes the rest of the world around you seem minuscule. It makes school even more boring than before, it makes sleeping a distant memory, and pure, genuine laughter harder to come by. There are too many days Steve spends in class, the teacher droning on and on about Darwin and Natural Extinction Theory and all he wants to do is stand up and go, “Do you have any idea what’s out there? We’re in here, studying bullshit, and out there, right now, are things that wanna’ kill us, that know how, that will—“ but he doesn’t, because he signed too many legal wavers to count, because if he does they’d just throw him into a mental facility. So he sits and stays quiet instead, swallowing back all his anxiety and fear of the unknown and known, sleep-deprived eyes staring out the nearest window as if he expects something nasty with claws to walk on by.

Nothing ever does. Jane closed the gate.

Somehow, that’s worse.

Everyone else seems happy with the peace. The kids smile and laugh and ask Steve to take them to the arcade constantly. Nancy has never seemed happier, walking hand in hand with Jonathan. Jane has more freedom that she’s ever had, visiting her friends, learning about the world. Joyce and Hopper get closer every day, enjoying each other’s company, maybe even finding solace in it. Maybe that’s part of it. Maybe the kids use each other to deal with their shit. Maybe Nancy and Jonathan use each other too. They’ve all been through hell, the only difference was after it was all said and done Steve was the only one left completely alone.

He feels dead. He thinks, maybe, he’s felt wrong since the first time he took that bat to the Demogorgon, but this is different. Worse. He doesn’t feel like anything. He doesn’t feel angry, or sad, or even really scared, not anymore. There’s nothing there. And maybe that’s the only thing nowadays that actually scares him: the fact that nothing does.

It’s mid-January when he finally decides to do something about it. When the emptiness gets so bad he almost skips an entire week of school. When Mrs. Leery, his English teacher, calls him over after class and says, “Steve, your grade has been going steadily downhill. Is anything the matter?” with an expression so soft and concerned, that all Steve can manage is a tight smile and a, “Just tired,” before giving some half-assed promise that he’d try harder.

He does try too. He’s been trying since the beginning of fucking November. But he falls asleep when he should be reading Of Mice and Men, and it’s not even that boring of a book.  He knows something has to change, that something in him is broken and he needs to fix it before he’s nothing but some vague shadow of what he used to be.

Steve realizes just how he’s going to do that when he’s getting the mail one day. Billy Hargrove speeds by in his Camaro, probably going twenty over the speed limit, Tommy, Carol, and two other girls hanging out of the Camaro whooping, hollering, and laughing as the wind whips through them. Steve thinks he’s never seen a group of people seem so alive. He remembers when that used to be him driving, him hanging out the window, him laughing. It was a shallow happiness, perhaps, but it was happiness.

And he decides he wants that back

He knows where to start, and it’s not hard. Steve’s known Tommy since before puberty, and he knows that even if Tommy feels sorry for something he’ll never apologize first. Every fight they’ve ever had has led to Steve outside his door, an apology on his lips. Only then does Tommy apologize too and only then do they move the fuck on. Steve hopes that, even after a year of not speaking, that fact hasn’t changed.

He brings beer with him, just in case.

Tommy opens the door on the third knock and scowls when he sees Steve. Then he sees the beer and the scowl shifts, eyebrows raising in interest. “Want something?”

“To apologize,” he holds out the beer immediately, offers a halfhearted smile. “I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat that day. You were—“ in his own way “—you were trying to have my back.” And he really was, Steve knew that. Maybe not in the best way, maybe not in the nicest way, but he was.

There’s a long pause where Tommy just eyes him, like he’s considering, and then he reaches out for the beer and steps aside, wordlessly inviting Steve in. “Yeah, well… I coulda’ handled it better,” he’s grumbling, words half muttered. If Steve wasn’t an expert in Tommy Language he’d have to ask him to repeat himself. “I woulda’ been pissed if you’d said all that shit about Carol too, just—“ he takes a breath, starts walking towards the steps to the basement where they’d always hang out. “—I knew she wasn’t fucking good enough for you man. I knew she’d hurt you.”

And. 

That’s fair too, honestly. Tommy had known what kind of person Steve could be. How sensitive. How trusting. People assume their friendship had been shallow, but it really hadn’t been. Not always. Steve still remembered the way Tommy cried on his shoulder when they were kids and his dog was hit by a car. There was meaning there. Trust. 

They’re down stairs and Steve is cracking open two cans, holding one out when he goes, “Guess I should’ve listened to you,” before downing about half of it in one go. Tommy follows suit and wipes his mouth before glancing over his shoulder and then back at Steve, a grin pulling at his lips.

“How about I kick your ass at air hockey again? That always cheers you up.”

“Pretty sure that cheers you up,” Steve says, and Tommy laughs. “But sure, why not.”

Steve loses, five to two, but he feels like he’s won anyway.

Billy Hargrove quickly becomes his main problem. Of course, Steve knew he would be before he even found himself on Tommy’s doorstep. Billy did not like him, and the feeling was mutual. They had barely talked since the incident at the Byers’ and Steve was happy with that. He could handle the sneers and even the shoving during basketball. Billy had laid off the kids for the most part and that’s all that mattered to him.

Luckily, Tommy has more sway with Billy than Steve originally thought. He assumed their friendship was more symbiotic than anything. Billy claimed the crown that had been abandoned, and Tommy found it easier to follow than not. It was a familiar position for him, after all. But it seemed like a little more than that. When Tommy invites him over to eat with them that Monday, Steve’s actually surprised that Billy allows it. That he frowns, but otherwise ignores Steve, keeping his attention on the rest of the team. He doesn’t look at Steve again for the rest of lunch.

It’s not good enough.

For it to really be right, or this to work, Billy has to like him. Steve isn’t sure how to accomplish that, hell, he isn’t even sure if he wants to, but it’s necessary. 

He starts with buying them all alcohol. He pays for the booze, the weed, offers up his giant, empty house and heated pool. It’s how he woo’d Carol, even Tommy when they were kids ( minus the alcohol and weed ), and most of anyone else at school. He thinks it’ll work on Billy too.

It doesn’t.

Billy drinks his booze, and he smokes his weed, and he swims in his pool. But when it’s all said and done he still sneers at Steve, still ignores him at lunch, still checks him too hard at practice and mocks him in the middle of random conversations.

“He’s a fucking asshole,” Steve grumbles one night, laid out on the couch in Tommy’s basement. His head is in Carol’s lap and she’s playing with his hair. It’s nice. Not something he’s had since Nancy. He missed it.

Also, they’re all really fucking high. He missed that too. Getting high with his friends. 

“I’ve tried to be friendly, even after the bullshit he pulled--” 

Everyone knows that they fought. Or at least, they figured they did since Steve showed up to school that Monday looking like he got hit by a truck, and Billy showed up with a black eye and busted knuckles. It didn’t take long for the student body to put two and two together and guess who won. 

“I don’t think he’s impressed by money,” Tommy says from the floor. He’s leaning back against the couch, head on the cushion, and a joint between his lips. “I mean, he’s poor as shit,” he continues bluntly, “like Byers level poor.” Steve shoots him a look and Tommy holds a hand up in mild surrender. He doesn’t see why Steve is protective of them, especially after Jonathan and Nancy, but he’s gotten better about how he talks about them anyway. 

“Wouldn’t that make him like... want to be around it?” Carol questions. It’s a natural conclusion for three well-off teens to come to, but Steve’s learned enough over his last year of bettering himself to know that’s not always true. He thinks maybe Tommy has a point. 

“You should like. Be real with him.” He leans his head further back until the back of it is leaning against Steve’s knee. “I don’t think he likes bullshit.”

Steve thinks about that night at the Byers’ and how Billy seemed furious that Steve lied about Max being there. He thinks about Nancy going you’re bullshit and wonders if maybe she wasn’t that far off. After all, he spent an entire year pretending everything was okay, and before that he pretended like having absentee parents didn’t bother him. Hell, he still did that sometimes.

“No bullshit,” Steve sighs, and reaches for the joint when Tommy offers it out. “I can do that.” 

Tommy throws a party that next weekend. It’s his and Carol’s anniversary so they celebrate it in the way they know best: by making everyone else celebrate for them. They get booze and pot and set the house up so that all of Tommy’s mom’s breakables are hidden away. Billy arrives thirty minutes before the party dressed to the nines and with a keg. Steve wonders how he can stand wearing an open shirt in fucking January but doesn’t bother asking.

Six hours later the party is headed into the A.M. and Steve’s completely fucking wasted when he beats Billy as beer pong and grins like he won Olympic gold. Billy looks just about ready to kill him, and Steve can tell he’s significantly less drunk than him and wonders why since Billy always seems to get shit-faced at these kinds of things. 

Billy leaves to grab a smoke outside, and Steve-- in all his drunken genius-- decides this is the best time to approach him.

It’s not.

There’s something dangerous in Billy’s eyes when he sizes him up, something that reminds Steve of that night, something wild. He asks what the fuck Billy’s problem with him is anyway, and Billy grins in the kind of way that reminds Steve of a shark. He gets real close, encroaching on Steve’s personal space, and he can’t help but think about Darwin and the Natural Extinction Theory. How man is just stupid enough to kill itself. How, right now, Steve is the perfect fucking example of that.

“My problem with you,” Billy breathes, right in his face, smelling like beer and cigarettes, “is that you’re a little spoiled rich boy who’s used to getting everything he wants.” Steve opens his mouth to argue, to say that if he really got everything he wanted he’d still have Nancy and not nightmares. That he’d have parents who loved him and a father who didn’t think he was a failure. But, Billy continues. “And now, what? You’ve decided you wanna’ be king again, yeah? That it? Make Hill think you give a shit about him--”

“I do.”

“Bullshit,” Billy snarls, flecks of spit hitting Steve in the face, almost making him flinch. “Your girl dumped you for a freak and now you’re desperate for friends and fans again. So, here you are, making nice, buying them whatever they want just so they’ll like you--” 

“Fuck you,” he hisses back, “I’m not. I missed Tommy and Carol--” and he had, in the same weird way they had probably missed him. “--you’re just their baggage I have to deal with.” It’s fucked up. He knows it’s fucked up as soon as he says it, nasty and not what Steve meant to do when he came out here. And it gets him punched in the face.

No surprise there.

He probably deserves it.

Steve reels back, his jaw fucking aching, and Billy prowls in close, grinning wide like a great white, like he had that night. He must not expect Steve to hit back, because the punch actually lands and Billy looks fucking surprised when he rights himself. 

“Is that you’re fucking problem?” Steve demands, filling the space Billy had stumbled back out of. “You think I wanna’ be king again? That I’m gonna’ push you out--”

Billy laughs, “You couldn’t even if you wanted to.” But Steve thinks he’s wrong, and he thinks Billy knows he’s wrong. They were both charismatic, both handsome, but Steve was nicer. He was friendlier, more easy going, and at the end of the day that’s someone everyone would rather follow than someone like Billy. Some angry, aggressive, and volatile. Someone they fear. They both know it, and it’s clear on Billy’s face even when he says the opposite. 

“Newsflash, I don’t care about being king.” And he doesn’t, he actually really doesn’t. He just-- “I just don’t wanna’ be alone, anymore.” And it’s probably the pussiest thing he could have said. I don’t wanna’ be alone, like some kind of fucking girl. He expects Billy to laugh at him, to make fun of him, maybe punch him again, maybe shove him back and go inside to tell everyone what a little bitch Steve Harrington is. 

He does laugh. But it’s after a moment of surprise, and the sound is more dry than it is mean. “You’re a fucking piece of work, Harrington.” Billy sighs, and looks up at the night sky like there’s something up there beside stars before looking back down. “And I’m watching you.”

And with that, the most ominous thing Steve’s ever fucking heard, Billy saunters back inside. 

Only after the door has shut behind him and Steve tastes copper does he realize his nose is bleeding.

That Monday they’re all sitting at the lunch table when Billy asks Tommy if he’s seen the new Rambo yet. He hasn’t, and while Carol wrinkles her nose at all the violence, she admits that Sylvester Stallone is pretty hot, so she’ll tag along if they go to see it. Steve doesn’t comment, figuring if Billy’s inviting people then he’s not going. He’s thinking about taking the kids when Billy looks at him and goes, “You gonna’ come?” And Steve’s so fucking surprised it takes him a second to find himself and go, “Yeah, sure.”

That Thursday Billy eats his lunch like a man starving. Without thinking, Steve offers up his meatloaf and Billy stares at him like he’s crazy but takes it anyway. In response, Billy offers up his applesauce and he accepts it, feeling not like he’s won, but that he might be close. 

“I think he doesn’t eat at home sometimes,” Tommy says while Steve’s BMW is idling in the McDonald’s drive-thru. They’d been talking about Billy’s massive appetite, and how it even puts theirs to shame. “He eats my entire pantry every time he comes over.”

Steve frowns and thinks about it before he’s leaning back out the window and ordering two more burgers, fries, and nuggets. Tommy doesn’t comment on it, but he shoots Steve a look when they get back and Billy goes, “What’s with the extra food?” and Steve shrugs and replies, “Must of got the order wrong.”

A week later he’s driving Dustin home from school and figures something is wrong because the kid isn’t jabbering like normal. He almost looks like he’s pouting, eyes out the window. Finally, Steve can stand it anymore, “What’s up, man?” He never thought he’d be bothered by Dustin being quiet, but he is. 

With his arms crossed over his chest, Dustin purses his lips like he doesn’t want to say, but when Steve prods him he finally blurts, “Are you going to turn back into a douchebag?” And Steve’s, well, Steve’s caught a bit off guard because he definitely hadn’t expected that, figuring maybe it had to do with Max. 

“You used to think I was a douchebag?”

Leveling him with a look that says seriously? Dustin goes, “Uh, I didn’t think you were one, you were . Before Nancy you were all look at me I’m so cool, and you hung out with Tommy Hill, and now you are again and with Billy Hargrove of all people, and--” 

“Whoa man,” Steve breathes with a little laugh, “Cool your jets, okay? I’m not--”

“He kicked your ass!”

“I know.”

“And threatened Lucas!”

“I know!”

“Then what are you doing?” Dustin demands, fixing him with an incredulous look. “Did he knock something loose when he punched you? ‘Cause, like, he’s not a cool dude, and you-- if you hang out with him you might--” 

“Dustin,” he sighs, pulling up to the others’ house. Steve puts the BMW in park but doesn’t unlock the doors just yet. “I’m not... look, you’re right. I was probably a total douchebag.” Especially to a kid. “But I’m not going to just... change back, okay? I just... need people that aren’t kids or my ex to hang out with.”

“But we’re cool kids.”

He laughs a little, and it’s more fond than mean. “You are,” and okay, Dustin and the rest of the party are total dorks, but they’re cool dorks, and while Steve would never tell anyone that except Dustin, it’s still true. “But it’s not the same.”

And he thinks Dustin must agree on some level, because instead of immediately arguing he just pouts, taking a breath and blowing out his cheeks while he thinks. Then he finally he goes, “Fine,” before adding, “But if you start turning into a douchebag again I’m like totally gonna’ hit you or six El on you. Or something.”

Again, Steve laughs, “Man, if I start acting like that again I encourage you to hit me and/or six El on me, okay?” Dustin nods, seemingly okay with that deal, but just in case--

“Hey-- how about I take you and the other brats to the mall on Saturday?”

Dustin immediately brightens at that, “The one outta’ town?”

“Yup. You guys just have to ask your parents if it’s okay.”

“Totally! I’ll let the guys know! Hopefully Hopper will let El go too. Thanks Steve,” and then he’s hopping out the car and heading for his house with a quick wave as a good-bye. Steve waits until he’s safely in before driving on home.

The very next day Dustin tells him that Max’s mom said she can’t go unless Billy comes to look after her. “It’s stupid,” he huffs, “She’s safer with you than she’d ever be with Billy,” and even though Steve doesn’t disagree with that point he’s heard enough about Max’s parents to know there’s no arguing with them.

“Okay. Billy will come then.” And Dustin looks so fucking betrayed that he can’t help but laugh. “What? You want Max to come, don’t you?” 

A pause then, “Fine. But you gotta’ like. Keep his ass in line, got it?”

“Yeah, yeah, shithead, I got it.”

Convincing Billy to go with him and six kids out of town won’t be easy, though.

He figures the next party coming up will be the best time. It’s right before Saturday, and Steve hadn’t planned on going for the sake of his pride, but a drunk Billy is a Billy more likely to accept Steve’s proposal. He was always nicer drunk. Okay, no he wasn’t, but... he may be more agreeable. If he’s drunk enough.

And friendly enough.

“A Valentine’s Day party?” Billy asks, nose wrinkling at the flier Steve had just stuck in his hands. 

“Singles party,” Steve corrects, and Billy somehow looks more disgusted.

“Those are a thing?”

“Well,” Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket, Steve shrugs. “Last one Lisa threw was like? When we were fifteen? Then she got into a relationship with Jimmy P, but they broke up in December, so--”

“So she’s throwing a singles party.Yeah, no thanks.” Billy pushes the flier towards Steve’s chest. “Sounds pathetic. I’d rather get wasted at the quarry.”

“That’s pathetic too.” He points out, “And at Lisa’s the booze and food will be free. Plus it’s mostly an excuse to get wasted, make out with people, then never talk about it come Monday morning.” That wasn’t a lie. Steve had probably kissed a countless number of girls the last time the party was thrown. Hell, he was pretty sure he kissed Tommy too, but that was three years ago and Steve decided he was too drunk to remember it. 

Billy barks a laugh and Steve thinks maybe he’s convinced him, “God, that’s fucking ridiculous. Why do you want me to go so bad?”

“Because, I want to go.” Okay, he actually doesn’t. It is pathetic. “But Tommy and Carol can’t go, and you’re single so--” he shrugs again, reaches out to nudge the paper against Billy’s hands. His knuckles are cut up again. It’s the second time that month and Steve wonders who’s the unlucky soul that's been on the other end.  “Okay. What do I get if I do?” 

“Pot?”

“I got pot, and Cali pot is better than Indiana pot.” Fair. 

In all honesty, Steve had no idea what to give him. He can’t think of anything so he settles for, “I’ll owe you one,” and a smile that promises just about anything Billy could want. It’s a good deal, so good that Steve’s almost nervous about making it. What kind of favor would Hargrove ask of him one day?

Billy, of course, brightens at the suggestion. “You’ll owe me one,” he repeats. “Alright, pretty boy, you got yourself a deal.”

[kindcaptivity]

First Impressions of “Happier Than Ever”

Getting Older and Billie Bossa Nova were my faves. I Didn’t Change My Number was probably my least favourite.

Under the cut for length.

Positives Lyrically, the titular song “Happier Than Ever” has a lot of content but manages to feel light and I respected that. When I first heard it, the guitar and lyrics reminded me of going to the corner shop on rainy days and having half-thoughts about things. I thought that the lyrics were OK and I sympathised with them a bit. Halfway through, it becomes a rock song and I thought, “That’s innovative,” but I didn’t really feel it. I don’t feel a lot of modern rock. If you like Nirvana and Green Day, you’ll really enjoy it because it hits that niche. I predicted a rock song on the album, especially because Billie likes modern rock and I thought that she should do one, and I know that HTE is going to be big. The singing is sort of similar to “Getting Older” to the point that I confused the two songs a bit at first. 

My favourite song was “Getting Older.” I took one look at the lyrics and I thought, “This feels so cliche. I can’t relate to this.” The one lyric that I picked out that I somewhat sympathised with was her talking about opening the door to crazed fans and rehearsing her lines and I thought, “Ah, I can see that.” However, I put the song on and the music itself gave me chills. There’s a part where the reverb says, “Anybody else” and the tune that’s played there repeats itself several times throughout the song. My eyes snapped open and I thought, “That’s music!” I am definitely adding this to my playlist. I thought that the opening was scratchy, but I understood it on second listening. When she said, ‘Happier than ever,’ I thought, “Ah, that’s going to be on-the-nose,” but she plays a little bit of xylophone over it and it felt very thrilling. The song ends abruptly and I didn’t like that at first because it seemed cliche, but I enjoyed it after listening to the whole album. Overall, it’s my favourite song.

When I first played “Billie Bossa Nova,” I was taken aback by how submissive Billie sounded. I thought, “I’ve definitely heard this somewhere before” and my first thought was that it was the Mii Music (i.e., Billie has been known to sample video-games). Once I got over the lyrics, I rewound it and I really enjoyed it. The tune became great after the initial beat; the sound was so crisp and sudden. You could tango or break-dance to it. Each verse, the beat kept blossoming. I can tell that it’s going to be a hit or a cult classic. I never could have imagined it from the title. I expected something with a large bass boost, but the actual song sounds sort of Spanish. If you’re listening for one song to dance to, this is it!

“Everybody Dies” is good. It feels very intimate and friendly towards the end. I got a version that was scratchy halfway through, so I don’t know. That’s the only song that I didn’t hear right. I’d love to listen to it again when I get a better copy, but I think that I like it. I expected it to be depressing and cliche, but it was surprisingly friendly and calm. I felt mellow after listening to it.

Out of the singles, I liked “Your Power” the most. The string-plucking felt very delicate, bohemian, and hopeful. That song made me start waiting for the album. It felt vague and left me wanting more. The lyrics were very haunting and clear. I expected not to like it because it was so bohemian, but I did like it quite a bit. “Try not to abuse your power / But having it’s so strange” has such a soft, half-spoken vibe.

I thought that “my future” was poignant when it came out. I remember enjoying the beat drop, the lyrics becoming very high and melodic, and the soft ending. If you listen to the lines, “Aren’t I someone? (Aren’t I someone?)” and “I’d like to be your answer / ‘Cause you’re so handsome,” you’ll know what I mean. I thought that it felt more like a teaser than a song, but it sort of was.

“NDA” had my favourite lyrics out of the singles: “On his way out, made him sign an NDA.” I really like when Billie does lyrics about female empowerment. A lot of the album is from the perspective of female disempowerment including the dance songs. “NDA” had a beat that sounded like tip-toeing. I liked it for the same reasons that I liked the beat in “Getting Older.” She has done that style before. It’s good if you like Autotune but a bit simple and reminded me a lot of music from the early tens like nightcore, which was never my style. 

“OverHeated” was blood-chilling. I don’t think that I could listen to it again. If I’m correct, it’s about her breasts trending. Thankfully, the beat was not as dark as the lyrics. It’s just sort of curious and reflective. I remembered it from teasers. I don’t think that I could have finished it if the beat was dark. “Overheated” is obviously a reference to her taking her hoodie off because she was too hot. There was a moment where she said, “Did you really think this is the right thing to do? (Is it news? News to who?) That I really looked just like the rest of you.” I thought, “That’s so sad,” but she doesn’t actually linger on it in the track. I feel bad for her. There’s a bit where she laughs after saying, “Stop being flirty” that ironically tried to sound a bit homoerotic and sly. It was good. Then, she sped up her talking a lot for the bridge. I thought, “That’s crunchy. I love it!” It’s classic Billie. I wish that she didn’t put down other women in the lyrics, but I understand that it comes from her wanting to be a model when she was younger. Overall, it’s a great song lyrically and the beat lands.

Negatives I thought that I’d like “Halley’s Comet” more based off of the title. It was OK. It tells a very nice story, but it’s more ambient than anything. The song opens with Billie talking about her dreams and about how Halley’s Comet comes around more than she does. I thought, “Nice! What next?” The story never really goes anywhere after that though and she talks about being awake.

“GOLDWING” opens with choral vocals. I thought, “This is great! I predicted it!” I wish that the vocals went higher, but I just feel happy that there was any choral music, especially because I know that Billie isn’t used to this. Then, it switches into being a remix, which is not my style. The first time, I thought that the lyrics were a bit self-congratulatory. The second time, I realised that the lyrics are about Billie avoiding being recognised in public and being lied to by media personnel. I just didn’t connect to the beat or lyrics, but there’s a bit where she says, “Just to sell you in a year” and I thought, “Hm, that’s sad.” I could barely hear it on the track though, so I think that I overestimated its importance. 

“Oxytocin” was vaguely unsatisfying, perhaps because it was the first song that I heard. The title surprised me because I expected it to be on a more upbeat song, especially since Billie wore that pink hoodie with the word, ‘Oxytocin’ on it. It has a suggestive clapping beat and the lyrics were very sexual. Halfway through, I thought, “Ah, the beat’s going to drop finally,” but it didn’t. It introduced Arabic influences like Britney Spear’s “Toxic.” The ending committed to the beat drop and was nice, but I wasn’t a fan of the concept. It seemed like it was playing into the industry standard for women. My favourite lyric was her murmuring, “I wanna make you yell” at the end. It sort of hit that sexually aggressive vibe without being disempowering.

“I Didn’t Change My Number” opens with very aggressive dog sounds. I thought, “That’s amazing.” I actually stopped for a moment and thought, “That’s the most aggressive dog sound that I’ve heard on a song so far,” but I like that sort of stuff. Sadly, the beat was dry and the whole tone of the song is sort of petty and spiteful. I think that it’s the most petty song so far. I couldn’t vibe with it.

I remember hearing “Therefore I Am” on the radio and thinking, “Hey, a new Billie song!” It felt loud and new but sort of half-finished. I went home and played the music video on my laptop and I didn’t really like it. It felt a bit proud and vindictive. “Lost Cause” felt like that but sexual, especially with the music video. I would put those songs near the same category as “I Didn’t Change My Number.” If you’re one of the people who said, “Billie is in her flop era” after hearing those songs, I would recommend that you listen to the album because it’s just one style of song that she does.

“Male Fantasy” never recovered from the opening lines about Billie watching adult films, but the chorus and second verse were gentle and relatable (i.e., “I got a call from a girl I used to know / We were inseparablе years ago / Thought we'd get along but it wasn't so / I worry this is how I'm always gonna feel / But nothing lasts, I know the deal”). The last lines of the album are about how she can’t hate. I thought, “That’s good” and expected it to end on a high note, but it didn’t, which was mildly depressing. The album could have been in a higher key sometimes and I wanted a few of the songs to go harder.

Aesthetic I don’t like the aesthetic. I’ve tried to, but I don’t. All of the brown tones feel very unapproachable. I understand that it’s meant to be “old-timey,” but it just gives me the Uncanny Valley Effect. I cannot dig the blonde hair. I don’t especially like blonde, but I do know people who can pull it off. I don’t think that Billie is one of them. At moments, I thought, “Is she trying to challenge our pre-conceived notions?” So, I tried to push through and like the hair, but I just do not think that it is Billie’s style. I do feel excited to see the new MVs. I hope that my opinion changes and I just haven’t seen enough of the new aesthetic.

Conclusion “Not My Responsibility” was more word poetry than anything, so I didn’t include it. The beat was dark. I remember first watching the video and feeling both happy for Billie directly standing up for herself and concerned for Billie taking a more sexual approach. The sound is clear and sudden.

The album deals with one subject and becomes very heavy (e.g., Male Fantasy and OverHeated). Overall, it made me think a bit about relationships and how women are seen. I think that I want to be in a relationship less now. The album made me think about how lonely and disconnected being a human feels.

I don’t know if these opinions will change. If a song is playing everywhere, I’ll definitely find it more catchy. I can’t wait to hear BBN and add “Getting Older” to my playlist. I’ve looped that song so many times. I’m sure that there will be a lot of thinkpieces about the album. I can’t wait to see what everyone thinks.

[jawira707]

I wrote this two days ago, but I needed to work on the ending...another fanfic snippet, just bc the one hour special is this week!!

Written on father’s day.

Summary: The author doesn’t know. Don’t ask. There’s a song to this, which is linked at the end of the story.

Hank and Max talk after the events of “Come What Mayhem”

Title: Suggestions?

“And Max, how did you like the super award show?”

Hank Thunderman was standing in the kitchen which wasn’t surprising as it was one of his favourite places to be, no, if it wasn’t for the black tuxedo and the late hour everything would have been fine. If Phoebe had just believed him for once, Max thought, this evening could have been perfect.

“It was nice” the teen answered shortly sitting down at the table to pour some water into his glass.

His head was hurting, but that wasn’t the reason for his particular bad mood. Tonight he had hoped to get out of the shadow that kept surrounding him wherever he went, the family getting that throphey, celebrating together and leaving the past behind. His past behind.

Bu now he had spent the whole evening with a forced smile on his face, making small talk while fighting the urge to flip a table.

“Ah…Max, I am not offended, but wasn’t it you who once told me that “nice” is just a better word for…well, “it sucked?”

 Max would have laughed at these words if the situation wouldn’t have been so bad.

“Sorry, dad. It was really good.”

Missing the witty sarcastic comeback he was so used to, Thunderman put his own drink down, resting his hand on his son’s shoulder.

“Max, it’s okay. I’m so proud of you.”

Great, now he was making it worse. Then young hero felt so happy, still so guilty at the same time. Luckily his dad was too caught up in his own thoughts too realize this or it could have gotten real awkward.

Staying quiet was getting…difficult.

Why couldn’t his father put his hand somewhere else?

“It’s just sad your missed a part of our acceptance speech! I was telling how I and your mom became the invincible team of…-“

“Dad”

Max listened to himself speak out, shocked to hear his voice nearly breaking as the words formed in his mouth at their own will..

“Yes?”

There was silence for a moment and the boy could feel his dad’s gaze in his neck, eyeing him with expectance and a hint of worry.

“When you and…mom got together and started fighting crime, how did you…? I mean, what was it like?”

Hank Thunderman was indeed very surprised by this question, but of course pleased to give the answer.

“Well, it was amazing! I never had known someone in my life who could understand me and my mission better than Electrice!”

“So you always agreed on what to do? You never fought about anything?”

“No, of course we had our discussions, but in a good partnership you listen to each other and if you love someone like I love your mother…Max…”

Hank had stopped as he witnessed his son slowly pulling his shoulder away, looking vehemently to the ground, blinking a few times, before closing his eyes tightly.

“Max, that was very stupid of me, I’m so sorry.”

How could he have forgotten that Max had had his heart broken just weeks ago and then talk about enteral love to him? Thunderman, you for sure have seen smarter days.

“And…what if mom would have gotten hurt during a mission? Did you never think of that?”

Hank hesitated to reply now, fearing he would just make it worse. But when it upset him so much, why did Max keep asking him? Maybe it was better to talk this out this time.

“See, sometimes, when there was a dangerous situation, I got worried for Barb. I wanted to protect her and I’m sure it was the same for her. I needed to trust that she would take care, but I made sure that she knew that she could always rely on me.”

“Okay.”

Unceratin if this conversation was over, Hank nodded silently before picking up the water bottle to put it back in the fridge. He wasn’t used to Max being so serious, but he would wait for everything what was to come.

“How do you do that?” Max interrupted his father’s thoughts once again and even without making eye contact, you could tell that he had a hard time to control himself. His voice was demanding, but as his hands clenched to fists under the table, he seemed more anxious than angry.

“Do what?”

“All that. Because it’s terrible. It’s so terrible not to know if you partner is okay, because she won’t tell you. Or when she lies to you! When you can’t protect her, because she doesn’t believe your warnings! I…I just can’t…take it anymore…”

It was the absolute truth, Max knew it very well, still it got a hundred times realer the moment he actually pronounced it. At this point, 1 am, Sunday night, three months into Z-force training, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Max, I don’t know if it’s the right time, but I’m very sure Allison is… happy and save where she…-“

“This is not about Allison!”

Finally Max rose from his seat, ignoring the emotions which were brought up by the mention of his former girlfriend’s name.

“No?”

“NO!”

Hank’s eyes searched his son’s gaze, how he was standing there breathing harder than normal, his face a display of honest desperation.

“Dad, I…I want to protect her so bad. The first time she got hurt during patrol I promised myself to be more attentive! To stay closer, but she…she…doesn’t want to hear it! If I pull, she pushes Even when it’s dangerous! So, I asked you how did you do this?”

Without losing your mind?

Now the atmosphere had changed in the room ,because Phoebe’s name was floating in the air even though nobody had dared to speak it out loud.

And when it came to Phoebe, the subject got touchy for their dad, he was aware of that.

“Max, you’re tired” Hank tried to start as calmly as he could, but the teen was taking none of it.

“I DON’T CARE! I want an answer!” He was nearly shouting.

At this point Max had talked himself in rage without realizing the gloom that appeared in his dad’s eyes as he witnessed his child’s mental breakdown.

“You get your answer.”  

Hank sat down again looking up to his son, motioning him to do the same.

“It was 20 years ago…”

“Dad..”

“No listen up!”

This wasn’t easy for him as well and he had never planned on telling this story to any of his children. So, Max better kept attention now.

“Your mom and I were fighting for the Hero League for years, we wanted to have children…but she couldn’t seem to get pregnant. We tried for more than two years, Max. When we were just about to give up hope, it happened. There was a huge prison break in Metroburg and we were called to help catch as many villains as we could. Some of them we are still searching until today, so you see, it was a major deal.”

Max observed his dad with interest, until now not understanding where this was heading to.

“I got separated from your mother during one of those fights. I remember calling out her name, but someone told me she was at the other end of the city. I shouldn’t worry.”

Hank paused for a moment as the vivid images of that day flashed in his memory.

“After a few hours it was over. We met at the Hero leagues’ Headquarters, but Barb wasn’t there. I asked everyone, eventually they told me that she was in hospital.”

“She..got hurt?”

“Yes. Yes, she did. I arrived there a few minutes after I got the information and the doctor told me that she had been hit inth back with a power blast…we never really figured out what it was. When I heard this diagnosis, I first was relieved! I was such a fool…When can she go home? I asked and that was when the doctor told me if I didn’t know my wife was pregnant.”

At this point Hank couldn’t hold back anymore, taking Max’s hand in his, gently caressing his wrist with his thumb.

“With us?” the boy added hesitantly, not knowing what to feel at all anymore.

“Yeah” Hank chuckled “With you and Phoebe. With our precious twins. Everything we ever hoped for seemed at reach. We should have been happy, but because of the energy the pregnancy took from her, your mom’s self-healing powers weren’t working as they normally would. She had a big wound and it wouldn’t stop bleeding. A nurse told me that her condition was more than critical.”

Max wished that he would end this story already, because it didn’t help to make him feel better at all.

“And I talked to Barb, telling her how sorry I was about leaving her alone, but she wasn’t taking any of it. She even admitted then she had made a mistake, taking risks and being less focused than usual. That she needed me right there.”

“So..”

“We made it. It was hard Max, it was very hard. Not only when she gave birth ,but also in the next months and weeks. We were blessed and suffered at the same time. Your mom and I had a lot of fights…about stupid things. And..it all…was…”

“Dad, what do you want to tell me?”

“See Max, if you love someone, you have your reasons right? But love can turn into war very quickly and then we have to fight.”

The teen didn’t know if his dad did it on purpose, but hearing the word “war” he used just a few months ago in such a bad way, broke something inside him.

“It’s just…”

Stop talking you idiot! he scolded himself, only to once again fail miserably.

“I..I don’t wanna fight. Or hurt anyone. I can’t win, I just can’t…”

“Max, you don’t need to fight with weapons. Or violence...” his dad replied hesitantly.

“ The only thing you can rescue is your love. Your heart and…” he reached out to caress his child’s head. “ your soul…”

“But..”

“No buts. I saw you do it, okay? We all have seen it and you need to be proud of that.”

Then why was he so ashamed? To talk about anything that happened? Max thought. Being so ashamed for so long, couldn’t be good for a person, he guessed.

“Thank you dad.”

“You don’t need to thank me, I’m glad you shared.”

Max nodded slowly getting up realizing he felt surpsingly weak on his won feet.

Thanks for sharing.

“I will go upstairs now to shower, check on Billy and Nora and…”

“You know that day…”

Hank stopped in his sentence, sensing a strange shade in his eldest voice who was facing the opposite wall.

“…when you said that I’m not longer your son…”

And all air seemed to be gone for a second, filling the room with nearly insupportable pressure as Max slowly turned around, revealing two or three single tears streaming down his cheeks.

“That really hurt. Like…pretty bad.”

Hank instinctively stepped closer and opened his mouth....just to close it again as no reply came to his mind.

“You don’t need to say anything. I forgave you…no, no don’t touch me.”

The man backed away respecting his son’s wish, but it was still hard for him to watch.

“You’re saying love is war. I know what war means.”

War against your fate, your conscience, yourself…

“And I’m not lacking the heart, you know? But if loving you means…constant pain, I don’t think I…I don’t want to be in war forever.”

“Max…” Hank chose his words carefully even though his mind was running wild.

“You’re just sixteen years old. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

So sixteen years of war weren’t enough, huh?

“I’m really tired” he eventually said not realizing it had more than one meaning in this context.

“Okay.”

“So you don’t know an answer?”

Hank sighed, reaching for a can to boil some water. If his son didn’t want any physical comfort, maybe he could at least make him some tea to calm him down.

“I just can say that…the good side always wins the war. That love is war and…war is love.”

After this a few minutes of silence followed which for sure would have been awkward if both wouldn’t have been so tired.Max had rested his head on his arms, trying to sort out the chaos inside him.

Colosso had said he was too complicated. He sometimes wondered how a person consisting of only 28 different organic molecules could be so complicated.

“Here you go” Hank said softly placing a cup of tea in front of him.

“You got a second one?”

“Sure…”

Filling another cup, he wondered if Max wanted to take it down to his room to drink it later to be surprised as the young hero picked up both, heading to the door.

“Max, where are you going?”

The boy stared at him as if it was the most obvious question ever.

“To Phoebe”

He wanted to be with Phoebe, he had the urge to find her.To see that she was alright, to look her in eyes and feel relieved for just an hour.

“Okay…to share your tea? Or do what?”

And for the first time that evening a hint of a smile appeared on Max’s face.

“You’re being too curious old man. We maybe got all emotional in here. A little sickening to be honest. But you still don’t need to know everything.”

He would never understand everything. 

Hope you liked it!

Tagging some people bc I never post when the most of you are online: @lucayathegood, @v0rd1g4n

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Ali

Sad, sad times

Grace: Please don't start drama but I do have something to tell you Grace: hopefully you'll be happy about it but I know dad won't be so I'm doing it here Grace: Not sorry mum Grace: Anyway the news is that you're gonna be a 👵 again! So exciting Grace: 👼💙💜 Ali: Hold up for one second Ali: How do you know? Have you been to the Drs? You didn't need to do that alone, Grace Grace: I took a couple of tests no need to hold my hand through that mum Ali: Those tests are less certain than that birth control we got you on for a reason Ali: Don't be taking the result as gospel yet Ali: And have you thought about this, properly? You don't even know this boy, so who knows what help he'd be if any, and you're nowhere near done with School, what about all your plans? How does a baby fit in with them? Grace: I'm not stupid, I've got loads of symptoms like Grace: yeah but I don't need him anyway it'll only be a bonus if he stays Grace: You managed so can I Ali: Okay, well, we'll get you an emergency appointment today, you have to deal with these things head-on Ali: It isn't a bonus, Grace, if a child is made by two people, it needs both of those people on its team, needs to know they care Ali: You know that, its all well and good to say otherwise, and ultimately, its your choice, but pretending no one else is involved or will have an effect is stupid, and you aren't repeating my mistakes Ali: Not to mention, our situations were different, we're different people, you have to do what is right for you, now, and you really need to think about what you're going to want a year from now, 18, 'cos its your whole life changed forever Grace: She wasn't a mistake, mum Grace: and neither is my baby Grace: I'm just saying if he's not happy about this, I am and I'll have plenty of people around to help me if he won't Grace: So don't be mad at me, okay? I need you to talk down round Ali: I'm not saying she was Ali: but she was undeniably a very unhappy little girl and I wouldn't wish the guilt I feel for my part in it on anyone, least of all you, any of my children, okay? Ali: You know you have both our support no matter what Ali: But, give yourself time to think about this properly, okay? Ali: You know you rushed things with Harry Grace: Did you say all this to Billie or does she get a free pass for being across the pond? Grace: Maybe it's just me because you don't think I can do this. Well fine Grace: I can and will. You'll see mum Ali: Hey now, of course I did, your different people in different situations but I still told her what she needed to hear, too Ali: What are you trying to prove, Grace, and to who? Ali: A child isn't a test, a chance to say fuck you to the world and everyone in it, you can't do that, it's not fair Grace: It's not fair that you're treating me like I'm 6 either Grace: I know you don't like Harry, but you should have a bit more of an idea about me by now Grace: If you can't be happy for me then don't but don't try and tell me what to do Ali: You're not acting like an adult at all right now, so don't expect me to treat you like one Ali: No one is trying to tell you what to do, Grace Ali: I'm telling you its your decision and you have to make it alone, and that's a terrifying and exciting prospect to a 16 year old all at once but if you can't handle the idea of doing that with a little bit of thought behind it then I don't know what to tell you Grace: I already have thought about it Grace: I wouldn't be telling you yet if I hadn't Ali: Okay, good. Ali: So, how are you going to provide childcare whilst you finish School? How are you going to afford the roughly 10 grand in the first year alone? Are you taking time off for the first 6 months, at least? How are you going to catch up? Ali: Talk to me Grace: I'll just leave school I'm rubbish at it anyway Ali: You are not Ali: but okay, what are you going to do for your career then? You can't get on the beauty course without at least seeing out this year and next Grace: I'll do my exams and stuff later if needs be Grace: It's not like I was going to get the beauty place so Grace: might as well have a rethink now instead of then Ali: Why not? Its vocational, you've got the talent most girls are going on that course to learn already, even if you don't get your 3Cs, which you're well on target for anyway, you can do your English and Maths alongside your course, they'll help you get them Ali: You just need to get the qualification out the way, then you can set up your own business if you want, but would you let someone without the certificate touch your face or hair? Ali: If you're having this baby, you need the money now, not later Grace: get over it, I am Grace: I'll just become a mummy blogger or whatever that's a skill I do have Ali: Don't be childish Ali: You might not want to tell me, whatever; but this is the sort of stuff you need to be sorted before the baby comes, end of Ali: How long do you need to do that before you've got your audience large enough for adsense? Which is pennies, you need to attract sponsors to really earn, for that you need to know how to negotiate, write and give proposals...then all that money comes in a chunk, you have to save wisely, budget Ali: Its a lottery, love, not impossible but not guaranteed Ali: You need guarantees in place Grace: excuse me for not having the next 40 years set in stone Grace: not like you and dad did so chill please Ali: No, no excuses Grace, they won't cut it Ali: We both knew what we wanted to do before any of you were born, and we were putting those plans into action Ali: Not only do you need this all set out and into motion, you'll have to do extra you didn't expect, didn't want to Ali: Begging favours left and right, working extra jobs on the side that you have no interest in but it covers the costs Ali: Its the hardest thing you'll ever do, and trust me, its a damn sight harder when the father doesn't pull his weight Grace: yeah well I didn't plan to have this baby and I haven't even told Harry yet Grace: Not sorry for not having everything figured out the second I got the result Ali: No, Grace, you ARE planning to have this baby Ali: you're doing it now, this is what I'm trying to tell you Ali: None of my pregnancies were 'planned', so few people's are Ali: but when you find out, you have to hit the ground running, the plan is being made, don't get swept up in panic or excitement or whatever emotion you're feeling, you can't afford to Ali: Are you going to tell him? Grace: Obviously, but like you said, I have to go to the doctor's first Grace: even if I know he'll want it confirmed Grace: want to know it's his too probably Ali: That's probably the best idea, yeah, got you in @5, okay? You can go in alone, if that's what you want Ali: Or if you want to bring one of your sisters, a friend, instead Ali: Well, I can't say anything on that, can I? I can see the merits but insulting, I'm sure Grace: I'll go on my own Mia's got a driving lesson so Grace: it's chill that's just what lads are like, esp when you haven't been coupled up long Ali: Is it? Ali: Chill, I mean Grace: yeah Grace: he's not used to keeping girls around before me that's all Grace: none at his school are loyal like Ali: I can see why Ali: Hardly inspires it, does he Grace: None of you know him well enough to be shady thanks Ali: Neither do you, Grace Ali: Come off it Grace: Don't start, mum Grace: I know enough Ali: I wish that were true Ali: but its yours to find out if you're not up for listening, can't blame you, I rarely did Grace: okay Grace: are you gonna tell dad? Ali: If you want me to Grace: Only if you make sure none of the others are around Ali: Of course, you can tell them all in your own time Grace: thanks Ali: No problem Ali: Anything else you need? Grace: No I'm fine Ali: Love you sweetheart Grace: Love you too 💜 Grace: No need to drag dad into my drama if you haven't already Grace: correct it to fake news otherwise Ali: Oh Grace, I'm so sorry Ali: Are you alright? Grace: yeah obviously Grace: not cut out for it anyway so Ali: Don't say that, I certainly didn't, you'll be a cracking mum one day Ali: Just not your time right now Grace: might as well've no need to backtrack now mum it's fine Grace: Not gonna be my time ever but there's always the beauty course for you to be buzzing about Ali: Don't put words in my mouth, especially not such nasty ones, that wasn't what I was saying at all, you know that Ali: What are you saying, Gracie? Grace: just what I said, you'll have to get your grandkids from the others Grace: plenty of us though so Ali: Hold on Ali: What did the Dr tell you? Grace: She said not only am I not having a baby now I can't have them. Ever Ali: Darling...I'm so sorry, that is, a lot for you to have to process now, too much Ali: And there's nothing I can say to make it better but where are you? You should come Home Grace: I'm fine where I am Grace: I'd rather be on my own anyway Ali: Okay but I don't think you should be Ali: Are you with Mia? Ali: Harry? Grace: No Grace: they'd only want to know what's up Ali: Of course... and you don't have to tell anyone, but I'm glad you told me. You shouldn't have to shoulder this alone, you don't need to, please come find me when you're ready Grace: No need mum I'm fine and like you said, there's nothing you can say Ali: I know Ali: But we can be there, we are Ali: When you're ready Grace: The doctor handled it I've got more info than I wanna read thanks Ali: I'm not going to lecture you, God, what kind of monster do you- Ali: The Doctor isn't your family Ali: I'd be a shittier Mum than I am if I didn't let it be known, even though that's all I've got to offer Grace: You've had loads of kids and could have more tomorrow if you wanted so excuse me if I don't come crying to you about something you'll never understand Grace: None of you can help me with this Ali: I know Ali: I know we can't Ali: Won't stop us trying, though, I'm sorry Grace: Save it for someone else's drama Grace: I don't need it Ali: I wish with everything I could give you what you need but I can't Ali: I just can't Ali: Stay safe, okay? Grace: I'm sure I already radiate enough saddo vibes to keep everyone at a safe distance Grace: is it okay if I stay at Mia's? Ali: That isn't true Ali: Of course, I'm glad you can have a friend around you, take as long as you need Grace: thanks, I'll come and get some of my stuff later but I can't deal with Janis thinking I'm moping because Harry dumped me or whatever Ali: Okay darling Ali: I get it Ali: She would be there if she knew, you know Ali: but you don't have to tell anyone Grace: she's a bitch mum Grace: and she hates me so like no way Ali: She doesn't hate you, not really, you just have your differences Grace: 🙄 I'll believe her instead of you thanks since she tells me enough Ali: We all say things we don't mean Ali: Especially when we're angry Grace: 🙄 Grace: anything else cringey you wanna add Ali: You know its true Ali: I love you so bloody much Ali: How's that? Grace: 💗 Grace: thanks for not telling anyone Grace: Mia's mum is always gossiping with her friends about everything Grace: I'd die if anyone found out about any of this Ali: Well, we'll both thank our lucky stars I'm not anything like Mia's Mum then, ay? Ali: It is nothing to be ashamed of, okay? Don't you ever think that, its okay to be heartbroken or furious at the world, God and me and everyone else who takes it for granted but don't you be ever ashamed, there's nothing wrong with you and there's a million ways to be a mum if that's what you decide you want still Ali: But you don't owe anyone an explanation, either Ali: I'll tell Dad, yeah? But that's as far as it goes Grace: I'm scared though and not just because the pharmacy woman is gossipy af Grace: The doctor was saying all this horrible stuff Ali: I know, well, I think I do...but we can talk it over when you come Home, or I'll come meet you for coffee in town or whatever and we can go through it all together Ali: Those leaflets are a bit scaremongery, but they have to be, cover their bases, I promise we will sort this so you don't have to be afraid of it and get you any help you might need Grace: Can you meet me soon? I don't think I can face Mia and not talk about this until I've talked about it Grace: Stupid I know but Ali: Not at all Ali: I'll come right now, we can sit in the car, have fish and chips if you like Grace: Thanks mum, sorry I was such a bitch before Ali: Nah, not at all, I don't need to be cringe and tell you we all say things when we're scared too, do I? Grace: 😂 Grace: You were right about me rushing the baby thing, I was, I just wanted it so much Ali: I know sweetheart, I know Ali: and I have been there, I really wasn't trying to be a hypocritical cow about it Ali: One day, I promise Grace: I know I shouldn't have pinned my hopes on it but everyone else has something Grace: I don't and I can't even mess everything up the same as the rest of you Ali: You're 16, Gracie, you don't have to even fake having it together like you would if you were having a baby right now Ali: and a terrible thing happened to us all Ali: the others are struggling too, doesn't downgrade or touch on your own, and I'm not saying it to act like it should Ali: but you really aren't alone in being not okay right now, not at all Ali: as much as it might pain me, its the truth of it Grace: I wish we could all go back and do it over Ali: Me too Ali: but, we can't, we've got to find a way to push through or we'll all be stuck Ali: none of us want that, do we? she wouldn't want it for us either Grace: but I don't know how to talk to any of the others anymore, especially Janis Grace: I miss them Grace: We used to tell each other everything Ali: Me either...I don't think Janis wants to be talked to anymore, not by anyone, all we can do is be there waiting when she does. I know it hurts. Ali: I know you do Ali: We all miss each other Ali: We got blown apart, but I have to believe we'll find our way back one day Ali: I know we all want to, I really do know that Grace: I keep thinking if I sit here long enough of my own, Edie'll pop up like she used to do Grace: She never came to me but, maybe this time because it's all so unfair already Grace: So stupid Ali: You can try talking to her, if you like Ali: One of the only alright things about it, you can get her to appear whenever you like Ali: if you're stupid then I'm absolutely daft Grace: She'd get it I think how I feel Ali: I reckon she would too Ali: She was a lot wiser than she let on Ali: Than people gave credit for Grace: Yeah Grace: Do I have to tell Harry any of this? ugh Grace: about me I mean, not how messed up the rest of us are Ali: No Ali: he's got no need to know, its none of his business unless you wanted the emotional support, that's the only reason Grace: But what if it changes everything he wasn't here to get with a 👵 Ali: If it changes anything he's a piece of shit Ali: not to mention, he didn't even know he was about to be a daddy so I don't think its a dream dashed for him Grace: yeah but all these side effects like, might as well be dating nan Grace: ugh I hate this Ali: I think nan's got enough boy drama with granddad, still, like Ali: Its shit, really shit but manageable Ali: You're stronger than this, millions of girls live with it and its not stopping them living to the fullest, so like fuck it will you Ali: Do you want me to sly ask Ro? See if she has any Doctor know-how, no more leaflets required Grace: She won't let it slip to anyone will she? Ali: Nah, 'course not Ali: Confidentiality, she'd never break her oath #goodytwoshoes Ali: and I'm pretty creative, I've asked her much stranger questions than this before now Grace: cool Grace: ask her then Grace: It was hard to take it all in earlier Ali: It would be Ali: Nothing prepares you but Drs are notoriously bad at even trying, like Ali: Right, now leaving work, where do you want me to pick you up from? Grace: I'll meet you there, anywhere but the CG obvs Grace: I wanna walk Ali: Cool, I'll text you when I'm here 💚 Grace: Love you 💜 Ali: Love you too

[mckinleydivided-blog]

❝ I like to be surrounded by splendid things. – Freddie Mercury ❞

Mason McCarthy is the mirror image of BILLY LEWIS JR., and a 17-year-old who identifies himself as BISEXUAL. Now a JUNIOR, they have been labeled…

❝ The [ Intense ] Outcast. ❞

The McCarthy household was always one house that was assumed to be perfect. Two Straight-A, Honor Role, twin Cheerleaders, the perfect housewife, and a preacher father to tie in the complete look of perfection. It didn’t help that both McCarthy parents had been performers for a very long time so making sure their children were stars was something they pushed both twins to do. For years, the twins were perfectly fine following in the footsteps of what their parents wanted them to do without question, because they were having fun. Their parents were happy and they were happy. There was no reason to step outside of their comfort zone, since it was all they knew anyhow. Growing up in a religious household, however, was a bit different for Mason, considering everywhere he went, he was slapped in the face with the harsh reality of people calling him awful homophobic slurs just because he was a cheerleader. Mason really didn’t understand it at all, nor did it really bother him- it was just simply annoying. His parents had always taught them not to judge anyone by what they did, or how they acted, or talked. The concept was most likely something they picked up from ‘Up With People’ when they had toured alongside the group.

Though the religious background in their family was extremely predominant, Mason always considered his family to be accepting, or at least he had hoped so. No matter what his family would always have his back, just like they had always told him and his twin sister. If they ever wanted to quit Cheerleading, or do something completely different, they would always have the two’s backs, which always made Mason extremely happy with his family. There was never any issues with the perfect McCarthy family until Mason and Madison started noticing changes in his parents tunes when the two had started high school. They seemed more to press the two to excel in their studies, and pushed them harder for training in cheerleading and gymnastics. Anything to make the two better than the rest for college competition in the future. Mason never questioned it, though, because his parents always wanted the best for them. They were the best. They were McCarthys. It was their family’s thing to be the best. Always beat out the competition no matter what.

High school opened Mason’s eyes, especially when he realized that he was one of the only males on a mainly predominant female squad. It was awful enough to deal with the incest comments, considering he would follow his sister everywhere, but the slurs just got worse and worse. There was nothing wrong with being a male cheerleader. Honestly, the idea confused Mason anyhow. He didn’t see how liking anyone, regardless of gender, was a bad thing. He found himself easily able to say he could be attracted to males and females, and that was never anything bad to him. During his post-freshmen year’s summer cheer camp, he had started to hit it off with another male cheerleader who had also been attempting the camp and decided to actually start dating outside once the summer long camp ended. Of course, Mason didn’t see anything wrong with it, and it wasn’t like he had tried to hide it from his family or anything. He didn’t see the need to, considering his family was loving anyhow. He knew Madison had no issue with his boyfriend,or if she did she certainly never voiced it. The twin and his boyfriend didn’t go to the same school, so it was hard to meet up all the time.

After one over-usual-curfew-time date three months into their relationship, Mason was confronted with his father waiting by the door when he walked in. Of course, the first question was who the boy was that Mason was hanging out with. Of course, he explained the boy and his relationship. This only seemed to cause dead silence between the two. Mason was about to excuse himself to bed before his mother was called into the room. It was definitely not the friendliest tone of voice, either, which scared Mason. The twins had never actually been yelled at before in their life— or at least Mason had never heard his sister be yelled at. Mason was almost positive that Madison was asleep, because he was more than happy to not have her walk in on Mason being yelled at and told that what he was doing was wrong. Mason knew that Protestantism wasn’t the biggest fans of gays, but the youngest McCarthy twin had been under the assumption that no matter what his family was going to love and accept him. It was almost like he couldn’t get a word out of his mouth because as soon as his father stopped snapping, his mother started crying, complaining about how the McCarthy name had to live on through generations and they couldn’t do that with a gay son. Eventually Mason was allowed to snap that he wasn’t gay, he was bisexual, which only got his father to slap him in the face and tell him not to yell at his mother, and that it was still wrong because that apparently had been a lie and Mason was apparently just making up things now. Three hours later, Mason found his family finally telling him to ‘pretend like none of this ever happened’ and to ‘think about what he was doing to this family by the morning’ and then left him to think about everything. It felt like the twin couldn’t breathe at first. He was confused and conflicted. Climbing up to his house’s roof, he found himself just staring at the night sky until the morning, trying to figure out what he even wanted to do. He loved his family, clearly this was a mistake and they would just warm up to the idea, but that didn’t stop Mason from shaking and not getting a wink of sleep. The next morning, he found himself and his mother and father all pretending like the night before had never happened as Mason happily went to breakfast in his Cheerleading uniform for school with the same cheerful grin on his face. That night had definitely shifted the youngest McCarthy twin’s way of thinking, especially about his family. There were thoughts randomly during practice with the squad if he even liked being a cheerleader anymore, or if he had only been doing this for college and making his family proud. That was when Mason started to explore other options of the school, to see what other cliques or groups he could make friends with. Of course, Cheerleading was always going to be a status that set him apart from every other group. The in crowd wasn’t something that you could easily get out of, unless you committed social suicide. So that was what he had to do, Mason figured.

He wanted to test the waters with his family, though, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to plunge into the whole idea of completely disobeying his family. Mason loved his parents and he didn’t want to have them hate him for the rest of his life. But this was only leading Mason to realize he wasn’t actually happy with anything, and the more his family tried to push him to be back to ‘normal’; casually pushing him to ask girls out to their church’s dances, pointing out potential girls who would do him well to date to get a higher up status in the world. Mason even dreaded the fact that he still tried to push his happiness and his life before his family by continuing to go on dates with his boyfriend. However, once the boyfriend noticed Mason was more or less trying to push their relationship in front of his family, the boy broke their relationship off. When he had been sad about the issue, he only got a resounding ‘that’s what you get for trying to be something you shouldn’t be, son’.

Eventually everything he felt for his family kept boiling up in Mason’s mind. It got to the point where eventually in the middle of, Mason snapped at his father in front of his entire clergy during the middle of his sophomore year. He didn’t care anymore. The twin let his father’s entire church know he was bisexual, angry with his family, point the obvious hypocritical ‘love thy neighbor’ shtick, and especially done with being the perfect son he clearly couldn’t be to his dad anymore. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing anymore, but it was apparent that it was the social suicide move that Mason had been debating on for quite some time. After that, however, things just got awkward. Which Mason had expected. His sister’s still definitely in with the mainstreamers, but Mason switched over after that. He quit the Cheerios and just stuck to himself. His parents most likely, or so Mason assumes, abandoned all hope for Mason after the outburst, and now he just deals with awkwardness at home, or even just straight up being ignored. It was freeing, but still a bit depressing for Mason.

Living in the moment seems to be everything that Mason’s currently working on now that a year’s passed since all of the blow up happened. He’s avoided everything about his family, even at school, since he wasn’t sure how to face his sister after all of this, and sure he talks to her at home, but not really all that much due to Outcasts not getting along with Mainstreamers– nor even wanting to associate with them. Though he sees her every day, he’s not really sure where they stand anyhow, and Mason doesn’t really want to find out. He hasn’t had the chance to actually figure out what was going on with her. Stripping his life of the status at school completely changed his way of thinking, especially after changing over to the Outcasts, however, he’s more than happy with the group he found himself meshing into though he knows he can be a bit too in your face, intense, live in the moment sort of guy, but for the most part everyone else seems to enjoy him and so does he. For once, maybe not being around everyone’s ‘social norm’ was something that finally made him feel normal, not needing to be perfect also helped a lot too.