#ruinedmyself.

[downs1de]

@ruinedmyself

"Okay..."

"This feels weird."

[a-shadowedvales]

@ruinedmyself: you're bleeding.

cold ate though janessa's chest like a disease, taking root and preparing its crusade inside the rest of her body. it crept through her limbs, into her cheeks, barrelled to her stomach. until the real world abruptly returned in harsh flashes, blindfold ripped from her face in a sudden motion, like she'd been burnt. she gasped, a choked sound rising from her lungs, blurred trance immediately landing upon the winchester on the opposite bed in their dingy motel room. ❛❛ oh. ❜❜ she furrowed her brows, trembling hand reaching just below her nose, where a thick trail of crimson slowly ejected. her eyes widened slightly in surprise, and the tone of her voice matched the shock etched in her features. ❛❛ that hasn't happened for a long time. ❜❜ then again, before meeting sam, (and coming to the abrupt understanding that her life was, in fact, not what she believed) jane had no reason to return to the void. bones and blood in a tapestry of memories and endless travelling. experiences unlocked in a haze of cloud and storm; multiple attempts had already been made to peer into a past she scarcely knew existed, to discover her true origins, solve sam's current predicaments... one single demon bringing these children together, a union bound in flames and buried mother's.

❛❛ i couldn't see anything. i'll try again later. ❜❜ she sounded depleted, annoyed, shoulders slumped like she'd failed by incomparable amounts. she stretched across to the nightstand and pulled out two tissues from the box to halt her nose bleed. it physically pained her that she lacked control, was unable to follow the flashes of yellow possessions and unknown children appearing in her dreams and waking moments. hints and teases of answers she and sam desperately sought, but when she purposely tried seeking them by her own might, there remained so little to be found. like they were figments of her dark imagination. hence why she travelled out and away from hawkins with him. she conceived a working theory that perhaps the upside down (although sealed off the last thirteen years) interfered with her subconscious, and the strives to reach the other end of the supernatural spectrum. it was actually the first time she'd ever stayed in a motel: it wasn't nearly as exciting as she might've once thought.

❛❛ do we have something to eat? ❜❜ amongst everything else, the woman forgot how hungry she became after a trip towards shrouding black. she needed to recharge, get her strength back up; then she'd willingly stay in the void for hours if it meant securing information for both herself and the younger boy.

[temeryte]

The Used inspired starters + @ruinedmyself

In a dimly lit diner, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee lingers in the air. Benjamin is sitting on one side of a corner booth with a mug in their hands. One of their fingers traces the rim as they shift in their seat, a subtle attempt to stabilize themselves amidst the unease this encounter brought them.

Aside from the formal introductions, Benjamin remains silent for the most part, the clinking of utensils and the distant murmur of other customers serving as background ambiance. Mike's voice echoes a sinister whisper in the recesses of their mind.

Watch your words, Benji.

Keep up the act, or I'll take the reins for good.

This wasn't the first time Mike had threatened to seize control, but this is Benjamin's first encounter with a hunter—Mike can tell them apart, says they have a "smell," whatever that meant—and they're afraid they're going to slip, fail and lose whatever's left of their willpower.

In the outside world, sitting on the opposite side, the plaid-clad man's gaze bears on them, and they can't help but look away.

"You can't forget the past."

The words hang heavy between them, and Benjamin's green eyes meet Sam's with a flicker of apprehension. They sip their coffee, the warmth providing a momentary solace. The pause helps them think about their next move, as well.

"I don't know what you're talking about, man—already told you you've got the wrong guy."

They finally speak, a veneer of nonchalance masking the fear that gnaws at the edges of their composure. A drop of sweat falls from their hairline, and they catch it with the back of his sleeve-wrapped hand.

If Sam asks, they'll blame the heater for being too high.

[curlandshudder]

the urge to permanently ruin my life somehow is strong today. anyone else get that? the urge to do something so terrible and unforgettable that nothing will ever be the same again? is this normal? should i be concerned?

[existingillusion]

[lilrebelkat69]

[en-bitch]

Tip for becoming a better pet for your owners, if they tell you to edge to some porn as part of your training to become more obedient do not imagine yourself as the sex doll being fucked, immobilized and unable to close your legs as you are fucked without mercy, your body a toy for them to touch, grope and tease until they breed you with the first of many loads, otherwise you miiiight get to close to the edge and even if you ruin the orgasm, it doesn't count and you need to be punished like the disobedient bunny you are

[i-am-trans-gwender]

The internet has ruined the words mommy and daddy for me. I was watching Hazbin Hotel and I had to do a double take when Lucifer called himself daddy when talking to his daughter. I legit forgot what daddy originally meant.

[ownedbyaman]

I’m starting to love being denied. Being wet and desperate all the time is making me such a good girl for daddy.

I feel so different…so ruined.

[hellgivenhasmoved]

@ruinedmyself : 📸 to see 3 or more pictures that davina has taken.

[sassywiththesas]

My life is in ruins

and you caused it...

[jaxxrabbie]

When I was given love, I grabbed it, pinned it to the wall, and pressed my knife to its throat. I wanted to show love how it feels to bleed, I wanted to show love what the color red really looks like.

Ajax

[qapsiel]

// me using Beyoncé lyrics for dynamic tags? more likely than you think

[fallen-regentarc]

endless edits of Davina Claire & Sam Winchester ( ft . @ruinedmyself )

[existingillusion]

You lighten my days in a universe I despise.

[ofcrossrcads]

send 🌙 and i'll recommend a blog for my favorite character

My favorite character?? Oh jeez, okay, lemme think. I think Wynonna Earp (from the eponymous show) is my favorite character (at least my favorite character that has rep on tumblr - my soul for a Doc 😭 ) so I'm gonna go with @b4didea ! Meg plays an excellent Wynonna, among so many other rad characters! She's got a lovely writing style, and is such a delight ooc! She's also an absolute saint for putting up with me shouting about wearp all the time fjkshfkd

and a quick bonus round for other characters I'm obsessed with!

@timedten && the tenth/fourteenth doctor

@isbrilliant / @exrthgirl && donna noble

@clockturned && dee reynolds