#rubbing a bunch of butter under the skin

[baronfulmen]

I'm not a particularly good cook. But what the hell are you guys doing to your turkeys? They're always kinda dry and sad. I don't want to be a dick about it or sit here bragging but it is 100% a fact that my turkey is always fucking delicious. Every year.

I just had a bite that was reheated in the microwave. No gravy. No additional seasoning. Just a lump of microwaved turkey. And guys, it was perfect. Juicy. Flavorful.

I don't feel like I'm doing anything fancy, I don't know what's going on.

[vixnovacoda]

How The Pine Trees Fall || Chapter 2

Ford Pines x OC (Post-finale)

Word count: 4k

[CH1]

[AO3 version here]

Transcript of recorded statement 1.36: > The town of Gravity Falls is small, but the inhabitants it claimed as denizens were not. They are larger than life. Each and every one of them. > Trying to butter me up, already, sweetheart? > [CHUCKLE] Maybe I am...   For the record, that was the voice of one— > Stan, Stanford Pines! Mr. Mystery and proprietor of the infamous Mystery Shack, home to all life's greatest mysteries and spooks and stuff!

———

There was that face again. The one with the stubble and that jaw. That inhuman jaw. Burnt like a brand across her mind. It had been decades since she last thought about him, and now, now, he was stuck in her head. Never did she intend to see or dare dream of it again.

    Like a bunch of rocks had been thrown into a blender, that was how Lorelai’s brain felt upon waking up from her fugue state. She groaned and rubbed her head as the cold light of night nibbled along her skin, which was a full tone darker than she remembered. Had she truly been out for an entire afternoon? Fully prepared to blame the bizarre fantasy of falling into a hole and being saved by a familiar face she never expected to see again on a night of drinking or the result of being awake for twenty-four hours. That was, until her usual walls were instead wooden with triangular windows, and her bed a sofa instead. The pain that shot from her ankle as she went to stand further solidified the truth that the other day had really occurred. 

    With a yelp, she flopped back down. She couldn’t believe any of it had happened; the stepping on the butterfly, the scattered giant holes in the ground, the hole she fell in, and then Stan. Frankly, it was very strange – which she should have seen coming, as was the nature of Gravity Falls to be strange, after all. “Good, you’re awake.” There was that voice from the hole again, though it sounded a lot less swallowed-a-bunch-of-gravel-like and… just smooth, smoother than the scribbling he made on some paper anyway. Not at all how she remembered Stan sounding. It was easier on the ears and almost made her want to fall asleep – if not for the circumstance of being in a room she didn’t recognise. In fact, there were these minor differences she could just barely make out as she noticed him sitting in the corner of the room by a desk; the definition in his chin, the lack of five o’clock shadow, the glasses frame being rounder, the still waiting to grey out hair, and the trench coat - since when was he a trench coat guy? – it was as if he had stopped ageing and got an entire personality shift, and why was he coming over, and getting closer, and why was her heart pounding, and why was he shining a penlight into her eyes? “Tell me, does your head hurt at all?” prodded ‘Stan’.

    “Jesus, Stan! Take a girl to dinner first before you shove something in her face,” exclaimed Lorelai, lurching back against the sofa as she shielded her eyes. “And I’d feel a whole lot better if I could see.”

    “Stan?” He squinted, confused.

    “Wait, I mean, it’s almost hard to tell, but you’re really not Stanford?” she queried.

    That stumped him. Stumped him harder than she expected.

    He stepped back, scratched his head with the end of the pen and mumbled something about a ‘memory gun’, whatever that was. “I… Well, yes. I am. But I don’t know you. Do you know me?”

    She blinked and her stomach sunk. “You really don’t know me, huh.”

    “Should I?” He pulled his face back into a weird expression.

    Under the dim overhead light, she squinted as more things came to the light, such as what others may not notice at first; a curious sixth finger. Curious for a man she knew to have only five. It seemed the Stanford she had known was most definitely not the man before her now and, yet, they seemed so similar upon a glance. Two men with distinct similarities and slight differences and both seem to reside within Gravity Falls, too many coincidences to call it anything other than the obvious or maybe Lorelai just hit her head too hard on the fall and this was all some part of her imagination. But coincidences were unlikely to be anything other than connected in a place like Gravity Falls. But she couldn’t honestly be right. That would mean…

    “Geez, Ford, buy the lady some dinner first before you interrogate her,” came another man from the doorway on their side. Lorelai didn’t see him at first, but it was that gruff voice, that deep, bottomless-pit-ness she’d recognise anywhere.

    “Stanley, what an absurd insinuation,” bit back the other with a huff. 

    The second shrugged in response and made an undiscerning noise, which led to an endless back and forth between the two doubles as they used unsharpened words that Lorelai chose to tune out. She rubbed her head at the commotion. It was a lot to take in – and a sight for single child Lorelai to behold; watching them bicker, and push, and tease, but never in a way where they actually meant the things they said. Harmless, really. Ford was more blunt and defensive. Stanley was the sarcastic, joking one. Which was to be expected of the gold chain, white shirt, and denim-wearing man she knew as Stan.

    He had aged. Nonetheless, it was still him and not some double figment of her imagination or lookalike. It was him . And her earlier hunch was right. “Twins. You are twins,” blurted out Lorelai with a frown etched into her forehead, and her old southern drawl poking through. 

    At the drop of a hat they stopped. Sense switching in as they remembered why they were bickering in the first place. Stan turned to face Lorelai first, pivoting half-way on the ball of his foot like some awkward buffoon and looked her way. “Hey ya, toots,” broke Stan, the man who hadn’t changed a bit. Not truly. For she could swear she saw all those harsh features soften the second their eyes met. Suddenly, it felt real.

    She swallowed, her heart dropping.

    Twenty years.

    It wasn’t enough.

    “So, you two are… acquainted?” interjected Ford, gesturing between them.

    “… You can say that, yes,” answered Lorelai, plain and on the verge of pulling herself back together.

    “Yeah,” echoed Stan in a similar vein as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Urm… Where are my manners? Lorelai. My brother, the real Stanford Pines. He’s the one whose hole you fell in. Ford. Lorelai Summers. She’s—”

    “Farhaven. It’s Lorelai Farhaven now. I married… Was. I was married,” corrected Lorelai.

    He stared.

    She stared back. Unblinking, the pair of them.

    It took a while for it all to register in Stan’s mind. Though, the moment it did, Lorelai noted the whites of his eyes burn pink ever so slightly and gave her a look that said, really? And she looked back like she meant it because she had moved on (had she?). It was the final nail in the coffin. Unexpected, yet, bound to happen. He wasn’t really sure how to react.

    None of them did.

    Neither spoke – and Ford, respectfully, dared not intrude on what was a personal moment. For those next few moments there was nothing. Nothing except for the slow funeral march of her heart dragging along the awkward silence in its wake – ‘from the cold depths of her chest,’ imaginary Stan would add. That’s what she could once imagine him saying. To him, it might have been cruel, but he had left her unforgettable scars along the groves in her heart. That was cruel. They were both cruel to each other in the end.

    In an effort to lessen the addition of any more hurt, Lorelai broke first, opting to look elsewhere, anywhere that wasn’t him, which included Stanford who stuck out like an odd daydream with his idle stance of hiding beneath a maroon book as he kept to the sidelines. But no matter how hard she tried, she kept looking at him. The window, then Ford. The wooden architecture that suggested she was in a cabin of sorts, then Ford. The door she’d never seen, yet recognised the similar shapes from the others in the building, then Ford again. They were in the Mystery Shack, they were in a house so full of memories, and she couldn’t stop looking at him. Him. Him, him, him , Stan. Every which way she looked there was him. Even in this very room where she had never been before, there was him more than once. It wasn’t until she took a deep breath and actually closed her eyes that her thoughts returned to an ounce of normalcy as the reason why she was out here in the first place rose to the surface.

    She found it instantly on the sofa not far from her, like it had been calling, screaming to her this whole time. Moonlight shone along the broken fractures and cracks of the plastic that once held the machine and cassette tape together in its rectangular shape. The tape’s guts spewn forth from the compartment as the magnetic tape ran long spirals which pooled into a pitch black mess. A couple buttons destroyed, ‘record’ being stuck in place. Her tape recorder. Supposedly broken by her act of heroism.

    Hours of research, gone. Ruined.

    “This isn’t about some kid I don’t know about, right? Cause I’m not paying child support,” spoke up Stanley with that regular old mask back on again, playing serious this time.

    “Stanley,” chastised Ford, breaking his writing streak to glare lasers at his brother.

    “What? I’m not. They’d be a full blown adult now.” He threw up his arms.

    “No,” answered Lorelai, interrupting their second round of bickering before it could even start. “No, I came here for research purposes.” She cradled and bundled the broken tape recorder within her lap, careful not to disturb it further lest it be irreversible. “Though, I wish I could say it was to collect some money you owe for a few books.”

    “Ha, I, I don’t know what you mean.”

    “Library. Library books, you fool. I’m the new librarian.”

    Stan hummed in amazement. “Ah. You always were the smart one with your tapes and stuff.”

    She whipped her head up at him. “And buttering me up don’t work no more, hun ,” hissed Lorelai, an ancient venom bleeding atop her tongue meant to hurt him, and she watched as he shrunk in on himself like some turtle hiding in its shell. “I’m not going to gloss over all this so easily, not when it cost me so much of my work and years of you lying to me.” To which she eased her attention towards the man caught in their crossfire and clearly wanted no part in their feud. “Look, far be it for me to know why I never knew about you… Ford, personally, I do not care. This whole name, identity, whatever that was is a private matter for later on. However, can someone please explain what you’re doing digging massive holes in the middle of nowhere for people to just fall into?” she asked, still ever so irritated.

    “I, well,” started Ford, looking over at Stan as if for help.

    “She’s a born native, Ford, you can trust her,” chimed Stan out of a sort of reluctance.

    “Can I?”

    “I did. Do. I still do.”

    Ford sighed, also reluctant, putting away his book and adjusting his glasses. “Well, coincidentally, I was conducting a bit of my own research as well, searching for something as a matter of fact.”

    Well, she’d be damned. Could it have been the same thing she was looking for?

    Lorelai leant forward along the edge of the sofa as she peered over the rim of her triangular framed glasses and muttered beneath her breath while Ford began to delve into a lecture-worthy explanation of all that happened. “Fascinating…”

———

Transcript of recorded statement 1.40:

> Fascinating . . . Out of all the creatures in Gravity Falls, these little ones have been the most elusive of all, and yet we have happened to a gathering of them that won’t seem to leave us alone. What another strange anomaly. > I’d say what’s strange is the fact they’re all staring at us. They’re not poisonous or nothin’, right Lore? > Naturally a pattern such as theirs on their coat would be a warning to wannabe predators, mostly indicative of venomous animal species. > Wait, what?! > Shh... You’ll frighten them off, Stan. Here. [PLASTIC RUSTLING] > Why am I holding bread? > Testing a theory.  > You really are a strange one, toots. > I know, comes with the territory of dating a native Gravity Falls dweller, hun. Now, shush. [LONG PAUSE] > It’s as I predicted. They appear to be hungry. > ... I think one of them just licked their lips. That wasn’t just me, was it? > Note, despite the average diet of their non-cryptid relatives, it seems the plaidypus has a fondness for that of wheat, specifically, bread— > [HUSHED] Lore. > It makes one wonder how far they might go on an empty stomach for that which is their favourite? > Lore! [SILENCE. SOON FOLLOWED BY THE SNAPPING OF BILLS AND THE SURPRISED YELLING OF A MAN THAT CARRIES INTO THE DISTANCE AND LAUGHTER, BEFORE THE LAUGHTER SLOWLY HALTS] > Well, hi there lil’ fella, get separated did ya? [A SHORT SOFT SQUEAK] > You’re just like me then. [GROANS]. Heavier though. Softer too. I’d be damned, those lumberjacks were right. [CONCERNED SNIFFLES] > Don’t worry, I won’t harvest you like those heartless folk. Us strange ones gotta stick together. > [DISTANT] Lorelai, a little help! > They’re harmless, Stan! Just give them the bread! > [DISTANT] What? But you said they were venomous! Ah!— [SPLASHING OF SHALLOW WATER] > Hmm...  A coat, I think. A coat for a group of plaidypi.

———

Gravity Falls was freezing. 

    No one told her how much more frigid the world had grown when night killed day hours ago. Lorelai shivered, burying herself into the smokey scent of her jacket as she cursed with each step that sent pain through her nerves (she couldn’t believe that she was actually missing being back in the Mystery Shack, stupid sprained ankle). Ford, however, did explain the purpose of the holes she had fallen victim to. In that he spotted some sort of creature while following a plaidypus one morning before falling victim to a labyrinth of winding trees at every twist and turn – turned out there was some strange event surrounding that part of the woods where it would send you around in circles at every bend, no matter which direction you went and time was fleeting. That the holes were a measure to capture what might have been the cause of such an anomaly. That he and his great niece and nephew, Mabel and Dipper, were out that morning to see if anything sprung one of the traps.

    The whole thing was, admittedly, strange. There were a million things waiting to burst from the seams of her mouth to just say, and ask, and discuss, and she would have stayed, dining upon his morsels of knowledge that she had gaps of, had she not been so burdened by overstaying her welcome at her ex’s abode after his proposal to drive her home. When she had left, she wanted to tell Ford that he was right, but her proof was poor and was nothing in comparison to how he may have genuinely stumbled upon the very thing she’d been searching for all this time. Him, some random scientific genius. All Lorelai had was a gut feeling.

    Then there it was again.

    Tug.

    She stopped dead in her tracks. Five feet from the Mystery Shack and that sensation returned as if it had been waiting like some loyal pup all this time for her to return to the wilderness, and it called. Almost imperceptible. A tug… tug… tug. A tug at her head, moonlight blinding her vision on the horizon. A tug at the feet. A tug at the hands. At her body. Desperate and pleading. A tug that was a whisper in the wind for her to follow. It sounded so familiar, So much like her own echo.

    Suddenly the cold wasn’t a bother any longer. Nothing was. Lorelai entertained the idea of rushing back inside and confessing to Ford. For a moment. Truth was, she couldn’t. Deep down, some part of herself wanted this discovery to be hers . She just had to move—

    “Ground control to Lore? You alright?” came Stan’s voice all garbled and scratching at the edges of her mind, slowly pulling her back to reality. She blinked. The world changed. It was actively changing before her eyes, the outdoors existing separated from her, rolling past in a haze from the window of a car, Stan’s car. Lorelai knew instantly from the first squeak of the passenger’s seat that she was inside his car, leather seats and all. While everything else changed, this had not. “I…” she wasn’t too sure what really happened, but she shook it off. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she told him. A yawn escaped her throat. She didn’t realise how tired she’d been this whole time. Probably just shock. Yeah, shock, or adrenaline.

    Stanley tapped the tip of his finger idly on the over-worn steering wheel. “So, married, huh?” attempted Stanley with what she assumed was the best opener he could come up with.

    “Yeah.” But she refused to play nice and forget.

    “Was it… uh, was it a good one?”

    Lorelai occupied herself with the side-view mirror, her reflection harsh and languid. “It was a marriage,” she replied, monotone.

    He chuckled. “Ha. Don’t I know it. Was married for a short while myself.”

    Thump . Went the car over a bump in the road.

    “When did you?—”

    “Why did you do it?” she demanded, her head hung and her words sharp.

    “Huh? What, get married? I could ask the same for you. Didn’t think you’d move on so easily.”

    “No. Why’d you lie to me for years?” She glowered at him from the mirror.

    Thumb . Another bump.

    He stalled as he refused to meet her intense, white-hot gaze. “Ah, that.”

    “Yes. That .” The plastic of the tape recorder dented under her increasing grip.

    “Well,” he started, running a hand through his hair and sighing deeply, “it wasn’t my intention. I wanted to tell you about everything. You gotta believe me.”

    “Then tell me now. Explain everything, right here, right now.”

    “I. I can’t.”

    “Why not?”

    “Because it’s complicated.”

    Red beaded droplets ran from her fingertips. By the time she noticed the stinging ache of the cuts, a few drops had already taken to staining a patch on the denim of her jeans. Lorelai bit back the pain as she withdrew plastic from flesh, releasing her tight grip on the tape recorder – in her hands it was small, something someone could properly grip entirely with one hand like a heart, her heart that now poured out blood from an old wound. But she brought it upon herself; shouldn’t have asked, shouldn’t have gripped the broken case so hard; she should have known better than to expect any other answer. It was always complicated .

    How foolish of her.

    Stan – Stanley – Pines was a liar through and through. If it’s trust he wanted, then he wasn’t getting it. Lorelai would not give him an inch, even if it cost her life. After all, had he learnt nothing from the last time? The pain, the suffering, all back within an instant like a bonfire eating away at rotten coffin wood where the smoke made white eyes red. Excuses after excuses. She had hoped the fire would eventually burn down to the truth after two decades of being lit, but all she got was the searing of her own skin. Enough was enough.

    Grimacing and mustering every fibre of her being, Lorelai commanded, “stop the car.”

    “But—”

    “I said, stop.the.car.”

    Stan tried to refute her, but the look she gave him was enough to cause him to gulp, put his foot on the brake and turn his skin inside out. Lorelai didn’t care about where they were, or how far she’d have to walk, nor the amount of pain she would be in. Sitting in that car with Stanley Pines was a far worse pain than any sprained ankle. Stepping out, boot against concrete, back turned and out of the car, Lorelai shut the door with a slam as she went to walk off in whatever direction would get her as far away as possible from Stan within the streets of Gravity Falls.

    But it wouldn’t be enough. More stubborn than a mule and going after her, Stan shouted out to her, “Lorelai, wait!”

    “What? What is it this time?” She stopped, her face still red from the neck up.

    “I. The tape recorder.” For the first time in a long time, his voice softened against the still and dreaded, chill air. Softer than she could imagine it going. “I broke it once before, let me try again. I owe that much to you,” he implored.

    “It’s a bit hard to trust you when all you’ve ever done is break things, Stan,” she argued, a frown upon her lips.

    “Well, I’m trying to change that.”

    “I don’t believe you.”

    “For crying out loud, it’s been twenty years. People change, haven’t you?”

    Lorelai fell silent. He had a point. By god, he had a stupid point.

    She turned on her heel before reluctantly crossing the distance wedged between them. “One chance. That’s all I’m giving you, Stanley Pines,” she told him and handed over the recorder, and he just smiled like some proud idiot, teeth and all. 

    “I like my odds,” said he, as if he had tricked her all over again into giving him her heart. But, she wasn’t the same woman he had fooled years prior, and he wasn’t the man she once knew. Then again, he never was. Doesn’t mean she’d forgive him for the past.

    She gave him a few days.

———

Transcript of recorded statement 2.36:

> Toots, do we have to do this? > You’re the one who wanted to stay with the times, hun! [CLOTHES BEING THROWN HIT THE FLOOR] > Christ almighty, you barely have anything salvageable in here...    Aha! This will work great. Here, put this on. > I’m not sure about this one, Lore. > Look, I know Mr Mystery is attached to the whole Mystery Question Mark symbol, hun, but a plain black suit will look amazing. Trust the vision. [A SIGH, FOLLOWED SHORTLY BY THE RUSTLING OF CLOTHES BEING REMOVED AND PUT ON] > Can’t believe you’ve been keeping this one from me this whole time, Stan. > Honestly, I kind of forgot about it. Probably because it’s the only one that’s not mine. > Suits you well though. > Really? I feel strange...   Was my fathers, think he meant for it to be some sort of wedding attire or something. > You’re just missing a few pieces, that’s all. Let me. [FOOTSTEPS ECHO AWAY FROM THE TAPE RECORDER AND MORE RUSTLING] > Lore? > Hm, yes? > Do you— Have you ever thought if marriage suited you? > Have you? [SILENCE] > Anyways, there, done! One eyepatch, the fez and a Kentucky bow tie, courtesy of my father, Jake Summers. > You sure I should have this, won't he miss it? > He won't even notice.   Besides, now it’s a lil’ bit of both of us. [SILENCE] > Hey, big guy, talk to me. Whatcha you feelin’? > A bit awkward, I guess. > It always fits eventually, Stan. Don’t force it. > Yeah. Say, be a doll and grab something from that drawer over there for me, will you? > Sure thing. [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH. A DRAWER OPENS. OBJECTS CLANK AS PAPER RUSTLES] > Wait, wait, wait— > ... What the hell, Stanford. What in the actual hell? > I can explain, just— > Stay awa— [A CRASH. TAPE RECORDER HITS THE FLOOR. STATIC] Statement ends. Transcript over.

[jordie-gvf]

cocoa butter kisses, sammy

pc : hannah wicklund on twitter

wc : 799

warnings : pure fluff, pregnancy hormones

this pregnancy was killing you. your feet were swollen, your back was hurting, everything was tender. but nothing compared to the itchy skin of your stomach.

your little boy was just starting to adapt to his environment for the next few months, making your skin itchy and tight. it had been unbearable, nothing worked for you. no balms, butters, or lotions could do the trick to soothe your delicate skin.

sammy had just come home from a quick recording session in the dawn and walked upstairs to find you deep in sleep. next to you was clementine, the snoring two year old. he made his next move back down the stairs and into the kitchen, making breakfast as his two beautiful girls slept soundly in the bedroom down the hall from him.

he knew your favorite, chocolate chip pumpkin pancakes with bacon. with clementine, it was dry cheerios and kale with lemon for breakfast, but he couldn’t bare to watch you eat by yourself, so he ate the same thing for breakfast almost everyday.

once everything was finished cooking and he grabbed fresh tulips from the garden and placed them in the vase, he quietly went upstairs to wake the two of you.

“my sweet loves, it’s time to get up,” he said gently, barely opening the curtains to let the morning soleil brighten the room.

clementine shifted first, which woke you up. “hi baby, howd you sleep?” he asked clementine, scooping her up in his arms and sitting on the bed, resting his back up against the headboard.

“mm” a quick mumble from the sleepy girl, her head remaining on her fathers chest. “and what about mama, howd she sleep?” he asked, nudging you awake. a moan left your mouth and you curled under the blanket. “come on clem, i made breakfast.”

he nudged your arm once again “come on, baby. i made your favorite. pumpkin pancakes and bacon. i can hear it down the hall, calling your name.”

“mhm,” turning around to face him. he placed his free hand on your face and rubbed your cheek lightly. “fine, i guess clementine and i will eat all the pancakes, and we aren’t gonna save you any”

“like you would ever let that happen,”

“yeah you’re right i wouldn’t, but come eat while they’re still hot”

you slowly made your way out of bed as sam left the room to get clementine set up with her breakfast. you went into the en suite bathroom and scratched your exposed stomach.

you went down the hall to the kitchen, seeing the extravagant breakfast sam had made. pancakes, bacon, fresh tulips, and a fresh cup of hibiscus tea.

you sat down in the chair sam had pulled out for you. he handed you your prenatals and you let out a big groan.

“i know you hate them but you need to take them, our little bluejay needs you to take them.”

you grabbed the tea and shoved the vitamins in your mouth, reluctantly taking them. sam sat down and cut up clementines fruit and put them in her oatmeal.

you all ate in comfy silence and enjoyed your breakfast. once you had finished, you got up and walked over to sammy’s side of the table. you leaned down and kissed his head as he rubbed your stomach, his calloused hand soothing your itchy skin. “thank you for breakfast, honey bunch.”

he smiled and gave you a big kiss. you grabbed the empty dishes and walked over to the sink. you tried to do the dishes, but sam came over and hip bumped you to get you to move. “i’m not moving, you cook and i clean, always. i wash you dry.”

the dishes had been done and clementine went down for a nap on the ottoman. you and sammy sat on the couch and put on the mandalorian for you to watch. he always laid first, laying you between his legs so he could have his hands on your stomach at all times, feeling everest move around in your belly.

he started to rub your stomach, sending you into pure tranquility. “i know baby, i know it itches. how about some lotion?”

“lotion never works sadly,” you said, slightly drifting off to sleep.

“what if i told you i made you whipped cocoa butter with frankincense.”

you turned your head to look at him and he held a glass jar in his hand as if it was his most prized possession. you got teary eyed, he made you something special that you would cherish forever.

“you don’t have to cry, love. it’s just body butter.”

he opened the jar and scooped some out with his finger and warmed it between his hands. “just relax, mon cheri. i’ll be here when you wake up.”

[emotional-moss]

physical self care tips for folks who don’t have the emotional/physical capacity to do so

disclaimer: these are not going to work for everyone nor are they a cure-all. sometimes you need additional help or sometimes these just aren’t going to work for you. this is not me assuming that every single mentally or physically disabled person is able to do all these. at the lowest points in my life i wasn’t even to get out of bed for days on end and once didn’t brush my teeth for several months. but these help some folks, and that’s all i’m going for!

can’t brush/floss your teeth? mouthwash. mouthwash always. plus you can get it in fun flavors :)

- additionally: are physically capable of brushing/flossing but can’t find the emotional capacity to do so? put on a video/show you like in the background. it helps me !

- oh also you can get toothpaste in fun flavors too if that helps

- you only really need to wash your face like once a day with a fairly gentle soap. like even a bar soap or a diluted hand soap works.

- don’t wanna deal with acne and stuff? pimple patches are your best friend (but wash your face first)

- additionally, acne is normal and common. you don’t have to have “perfect skin” and it’s super rare that people do (and if they do, they most likely invest in a bunch of expensive skincare products and routines).

- don’t/can’t shower? deodorant on stinky/sweaty areas. your armpits, your neck and upper back (trust me on this one), your crotch area, all that stuff.

- or you can just use a washcloth. wet it, put some soap on it, and then rub it on stinky areas. make sure there’s more water on it than soap so that you can wipe it off with a dry washcloth after.

- if you don’t wanna take care of your hair and you don’t need/want to keep it long, buzz it. or just cut it short!

- alternately, if you want/need to keep your hair long but can’t take care of it:

- if you have a looser hair type, run through it every now and then with a brush or your fingers. if you’re able, run through it with your fingers at least a few times a day. running it under water for a little and then gently running through it with your fingers/a comb works as well. also, dry shampoo is your best friend if you’ve got oily hair. if you don’t want to brush/wash it often, keep it in easy to maintain styles like regular braids.

- for black/coiled hair types: i’m not black and have 2c/3a wavy/curly hair so i really don’t know much about this so please do not take this as if i have firsthand experience, this is all internet knowledge/from black peers. i always open to better information, please tell me if you have any! from what i’ve heard and learned black/coiled hair doesn’t need to be washed as much. keeping it short helps because it shrinks easily and means you don’t have to wash/clean it often. but if you want to keep it long, it can get dry easily. separating it into sections and then running through it with a detangling brush helps (a good option is the Spornette DeVille Cushion Paddle Boar Bristle 344). protective hairstyles mean you don’t have to wash it that often as well. 

- some foods may not be healthy but if they’re easy to prepare and leave you sustained for some time, fucking go for it. as long as you don’t have any dietary/medical restrictions regarding them.

- foods like omelettes, oatmeal, microwavable burritos/ramen/etc, peanut butter on toast, tuna sandwiches, frozen chicken nuggets, bag salads, and mixed nuts are all easy to make and/or good sources of vitamins and protein.

- fatness isn’t a bad thing. you don’t need to work out or eat specifically to “stay in shape.”

- but if you do want to work out: i am not a physical therapist, personal trainer, etc. nor do i have much gym experience. listen to your body and consult legitimate medical sources/medical professionals. i am also not physically disabled. i cannot judge what is right for your body; only you and medical professionals can do that.

- remember to warm up and cool down. wear comfortable clothes that make you feel good. drink plenty of water!!!! and listen to what your body is telling you !!! if you experience pain/nausea, it’s time to stop for a bit and there’s no shame in that.

- simple workouts! focus on one specific thing, like flexibility or strength or something. walking/pacing is an easy one if you’re able to do that. listening to music while doing it helps too. - stretches are awesome. yoga is awesome. simple things that increase flexibility and don’t require a lot of physical activity are awesome. just a simple stretch now and then is rad as fuck.

- as always, laziness is a myth. sometimes your mind or your body just doesn’t want to do something and that’s perfectly fine. 

- that’s all i can think of for now i might add more later

[jhsgf82]

Without Success: The Failed Attempts of Peeta Mellark to Speak to Katniss Everdeen

For @dandelionlovesyou​

Failed Attempt #1 

Age 11 

The first time I try, without success, to talk to Katniss Everdeen, the girl I have this crazy crush on, is the day after I tossed her that bread… 

We’re at school, on the playground at recess. She’s off on her own as usual, and I’m near some of the other boys but ignoring them right now. My friends have been trying to get me to play ball with them, but I’m not in the mood. I can’t help watching Katniss...  

I’ve been feeling ashamed about it, the thing with the bread; I’ve had this sick feeling in my stomach ever since. I just keep thinking I should go over and apologize to her, for tossing her those loaves of bread like she was one of the pigs, instead of handing them to her directly. 

She probably thinks I’m a jerk for doing that, even if she did take them. They must’ve been muddy and gross, I think, frowning. And I feel bad they were burnt, but I knew that was the only way I could give them to her. 

Well, I must’ve been staring the entire time I was having these thoughts because suddenly, she looks up, and our eyes meet. I really like her eyes; they’re so pretty, and different from any other girl’s that I know. I freeze for a moment, because of her eyes; I guess that’s why I don’t look away like I normally do. 

She looks back at me from across the yard, then looks down, and for some reason, she picks a dandelion. She stares at it for a long time, and though it’s hard to tell from the distance, I think she smiles a little. 

I’ve heard that the dandelion is a weed. The yellow color is nice, though, and I like how you can rub it under your chin to tell if you like butter (if it turns yellow). Mine did. Of course, I like butter; I’m a baker’s son. Anyway, I have a thought. To bring her flowers. I’d like to bring her nicer flowers than dandelions, but there are so many around the schoolyard, and she seems to like them, at least, from the look on her face. 

I think to pick a whole bunch of them for her before recess is over, and I set to work. After I’ve gathered quite a few, I begin to head over to her… 

But then I stop. Reaching up, I touch my eye and wince, remembering my punishment for burning that bread. My brother, Rye, tried to cover up the deep bluish-purple color for me this morning with some of Mom’s makeup. He told me it didn’t make me a pansy. I was more concerned Mom would notice some of it missing. The stuff isn’t cheap. He said it was necessary, though, and he only used a little bit, promising she wouldn’t notice. Anyway, it sort of hid my black eye, and I’ve been doing my best all morning not to touch it and rub it off.

I wonder if Katniss will notice if I go up to her. Maybe not the makeup (the shade is pretty close to my skin), but surely, she’ll notice the swelling. Even though I had a bag of frozen peas on it for like an hour last night, it must look all puffy and horrible today. I can’t go up to Katniss looking like this. 

I turn away but look back at her over my shoulder. She still has the dandelion. She’s sitting on the swings alone, staring at it and pumping her legs a little. She looks cute, and lonely. I start to change my mind‒I could go over and sit by her, maybe a few swings down where she can’t see my face too good‒but then the bell rings. 

I shoot her one last look; she doesn’t look at me, and then I sigh. I drop the bunch of dandelions; they fall into a pile at my feet, and I head in with the rest of the class.  

All the way inside I’m beating myself up over my failed attempt at talking to Katniss. Actually, it’s not the first time, come to think of it. The first one was after she sang in the music assembly...  

From the moment she sang, I knew I was a goner. 

I was so impressed. I mean, it was beautiful, and she wasn’t even scared. I would have been scared, to get up in front of everyone like that…  

I wanted to say something to her then, something like… “You sing pretty.” Or, “You sing like the birds, but prettier.” 

I shake my head at my stupid five-year-old self. 

I’m braver now. Better with words, though apparently, not much. I have friends, and I’m even able to talk to girls. 

Just not the one I really want to… 

Maybe tomorrow. 

[sainthomura]

You guys I need to show you this cause I can’t suffer alone. Obviously it’s fake, but you cannot tell me you don’t feel like you didn’t feel get hit in the face with a baseball bat by 2012 reading this post

[I [23f] created a 1:1 scale puppet version of my boyfriend [22m] and showed it to him during foreplay as a joke. Now he hasn’t texted me in 12 hours and I’m starting to get worried. How do I get him to text me back?

The title pretty much says it all, but here are some more details: my boyfriend of six months and I have had a pretty cut and dry relationship up to this point. I’ve always been what some people would call “quirky,” so pranks are sort of my bread and butter. He, John, has expressed that he really likes this part of me and I’m just happy to be with someone who can handle all of my zest, lol! Sometimes I worry that he doesn’t actually think I’m as funny as he says, but he always reassures me that this is not the case. One of the ways we really like to express our humor to each other is in the bedroom, for example I love to do impressions of mostly Disney characters (such as the “paperwork” lady from Monsters Inc, haha). He sometimes does them too, but he’s not that good at voices.

So here’s where I think I may have taken it too far: I recently bought a sewing machine to try and make cosplay costumes and stuff, but something dawned on me as I was messing around with it. This was the plan:

We oftentimes sexytimes with a habitual back rub massage sort of thing, and we switch off. And then we progress into french kissing and then full blown you know what. One very important fact to tell you is that John does in fact wear glasses, so I will usually make a point to take them off and put them on the table for safety. During this particular romp in the hay, I got a really funny idea about how to take his glasses off next time and I couldn’t stop laughing. He asked me what I was laughing at because he has some insecurity about his appearance, but I assured him that it was nothing like that. We had our fun and John went home, but all I could think about was this plan.

So the next day I went to the fabric store and bought a bunch of skin colored felt and wire framing and cotton and got to work creating a muppet-style version of my boyfriend to put his glasses on next time we started getting dirty style. Honestly, the thing was looking pretty good and I even found some clothes at Goodwill that were his style. I dressed the puppet in the clothes, hid them under my collection of squishmallows that’s in my room, and invited him over.

To spare you all the explicit details, we did start kissing and taking clothes off and stuff, but my hands were shaking as I reached up to grab his glasses. Instead of putting it on my nightstand I made a point to say something like “I’m just gonna put these riiiiight here” as I stretched over to the squishmallow that was covering the puppet boyfriend’s head and put the glasses right over his felt eyes. He got confused I think and looked back to where I put the glasses and sat up, as a felt version of his face (very easily identifiable by the way, John has red hair and a mustache, so the glasses on top left little question of who this could be). He was silent for a second then said “is that supposed to be me?” as I was laughing. I said something like “do you like it?” as I took it out of the squishmallow pile and revealed the entirety of muppet John.

“Oh did you make that?” he asked, and I stood it up off the bed and asked him to stand next to it. “See? It’s just like you basically!” I said, but he still wasn’t laughing that much. I think he saw that the muppet ended up being just a little bit taller than him (he’s 5’7 and probably insecure about that, the muppet ended up accidentally being a little taller than him, around 6’1 based on seeing them side by side).

I noticed his disappointment and did a tried and true disney impression to make him feel better. In my best Goofy impression I said “Well, looks like we should call him Big, John, Hyuck!” John just took the glasses off of Big John and let him fall to the floor, and put the glasses on the nightstand and sat on the bed for a while but we eventually went to Sin city but it was a lot more quiet than usual. He left after that, even though we were planning on having a sleepover, he said he wasn’t feeling good. I texted him goodnight and went to bed.

So here’s the ish: this morning I haven’t gotten any good morning text, or any texts at all from him, even though he always sends me a good morning text. I’m worried that Big John was a step too far and that normal john didn’t think the joke was as funny as I did. I feel like he’s just putting me in an uncomfortable position by not telling me how this made him really feel, even though I thought it was pretty funny… Is this salvageable or am I effed?

tl;dr : Created a life-sized puppet of my boyfriend to put his glasses on. But, I think it made him insecure, and now he wont text me.]

Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/MgEPhDqnr0

[snowhashiraamiya]

KYOJUROU RENGOKU X ORIGINAL CHARACTER (OC) FANFICTION

Tornado of Opposites

WARNING: This fanfiction may consist of topics and scenes inappropriate for readers under 18.

Consists of: Sexual Trauma, Assault, PTSD, Cursing, Bodily injuries, Death, Suicide attempt.

⚠️Proceed with Caution⚠️

MILD KISSING/SPICE at the end of the chapter

Chapter 11: Soft Touches

A month later

It had been a month since kyojurou and amiya had confessed their feelings for one another. The time between, was filled with countless dates, laughter, love, and joy.

Now, Amiya was strolling through the market in a nearby village, the master had granted her a few days to relax, considering she’d gone on a very difficult mission as of late.

Her cherry red hair flowed down her back as she wore a simple colored yukata, people amongst the crowd eyed her strangely bright colored hair and eyes.

Kyojurou has been gone on a mission for a week now, the loneliness was eating at Amiya, but she knew it was all part of being a hashira.

“Excuse me?”

Amiya shook her head and her eyes landed on a small little girl in front of her, Amiya smiled and kneeled down to her height level.

“Hello sweetie, where’s your mother?”

The little girl giggled, “Mommy’s over there!” She pointed toa nearby woman who smiled and made her way over, “Sorry, she tends to wander off-“

“It’s okay.” Amiya smiled and rubbed the childs head, “Hey look!! It’s the flame hashira!!” A bystander called as a bunch of people started migrating to an area of the market.

Amiya’s eyes widened and she felt her stress subside, she lifted her head and strayed from the crowd.

Kyojurou made his way through the surging crowd, his tall and muscular form slicing through the sea of people like a dagger through butter. He was scanning the crowd for her, unaware that his love was a short distance away.

The people surrounding him continued to praise him and ask him questions, their voices blending into a constant buzz of noise. But Kyojuro's focus was solely on finding her.

A few women stopped him, bombarding him with questions. Amiya opened her mouth and called to him to get his attention, “Darling!”

Kyojurou's head whipped around at the sound of her voice, his eyes scanning the crowd until his gaze landed on the Amiya. A wide smile spread across his face as he saw her.

Excusing himself from the group of women who had been clamoring for his attention, he pushed his way through the crowd and made his way towards her.

She smiled while rubbing her arm, it’s true she was proud of his accomplishments, but the crowd of people tailing him, was slowly becoming overwhelming. She even struggled to look him in his eyes.

Kyojuro noticed her subtle avoidance of eye contact, and he chuckled softly. He knew her well and could tell when something was on her mind. He stepped closer to her, tilting her chin up gently, forcing her to look at him.

“Darling..” Amiya gasped, a little relieved that he’d returned safe and sound to her.

Kyojuro's eyes locked with hers, his gaze soft and affectionate. He smiled back, his hand still holding her chin, his fingers gently caressing her skin.

"Yes, my love?" he murmured, his voice low and warm. “You’re home..” She murmured and breathed with a gentle smile.

Kyojuro leaned down and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead, his lips lingering a moment longer than necessary, relishing in the closeness between the two of them.

Once the two of them arrived home and Kyojuro settled down from his mission, the two sat on the couch. He watched as she picked up a book and began to read, his eyes admiring her focused expression as her gaze scanned the pages.

He leaned back and let out a deep breath, his body relaxing as he savored the rare moment of peace and quiet at home. He shifted closer to her, resting his chin on her shoulder.

Amiya smiled, they hadn’t been this close since he’d left, even if it wasn’t long, she often found herself needing to be close to him. She leaned her head back and kissed his cheek with a smile.

Kyojuro melted under her affectionate gesture, his cheeks flushing a light pink at the feel of her lips against his skin. He shifted even closer to her, his arm snaking around her waist, pulling her against him.

He nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, his breath warm against her skin. Then, he kissed her neck gently, his lips brushing against her sensitive skin.

Amiya’s eyes widened, this.. feeling, it was different, not a bad feeling, but it caused shivers down her spine, was this normal?

Kyojuro wrapped his arms around her, completely enveloping Amiya in his strong embrace. He held her close, his body warm and solid against hers. His hands stroked her back gently, his touch soothing and caressing.

He let out a content sigh, his face buried in her soft hair, inhaling the familiar scent of her. It was moments like these that he cherished most, when he could simply hold her close and bask in her presence.

She breathed and tilted her head back, pressing her lips gently against his strong jawline, what had come over her?

Kyojuro let out a low groan as her lips grazed his jaw and earlobe, the sound sending a jolt of pleasure through her body. He tilted his head to the side, giving her better access, his skin tingling wherever her lips touched him.

His hand moved from her back, tracing a lazy path up her arm, his fingers leaving a trail of heat in their wake. He cupped her chin gently, guiding her face up towards his.

Amiya turned in his arms and looked up at him, her baby blue eyes peering into his golden hues, the sight simply making her heart race.

Kyojuro's hand moved to cup the back of her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair as he slowly closed the gap between their lips. He pressed his mouth against her, his kiss gentle but insistent.

His other hand slid down to her waist, pulling her even closer as he deepened the kiss, his tongue tasting and exploring her mouth with a familiar hunger.

Amiya whined softly against his lips, a small sound that would simply seal her fate for the evening, because as soon as the sound left her lips, Kyojurou’s eyes flashed open as he ravishing her mouth gently but with love and passion.

He groaned in response to her soft whine, the sound sending a wave of desire coursing through his body. He shifted so that she was now straddling his lap, her legs resting on either side of his hips.

His hands went from her hips to the small of her back, his fingers kneading the sensitive muscles there, as if he never wanted to let her go. He broke the kiss for a brief moment, his eyes locking with hers, the intensity in them almost overwhelming.

She let her mouth fall open, she looked so beautiful, how her eyes were hooded and her cheeks flushed a beautiful pink.

Kyojuro's lips continued to travel up her neck, leaving a trail of fire wherever they touched. He could feel her body arching and writhing in response to his kisses, and the sound of her hums and whines only fueled his own desire.

In one swift motion, he gathered her in his arms and pressed his mouth to her ear, his teeth gently nipping at her earlobe as he whispered,

"You're so damn beautiful."

With that he was on his feet in a flash and carrying her bridal style to the bedroom.

“You, my sweet love, have no idea what you do to me.”

HA! Finally, another chapter!

You’re just gonna have to wait for smut in the next one 💕

Chapter cover art: yooruseo on Instagram

[maxinesgun]

say please ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader

summary: abby gives you what you need when she returns from a long patrol.

cw: nsfw, soft dom!abby, thigh riding, praise kink, cursing, no plot to be seen, just super horny. 1.3k

a/n: just a short and very smutty thing i wrote bc i am feeling things about this woman. please help me

“You missed me?” Abby grinned against your lips as you wrapped your arms around her neck, practically clinging to her. She was warm and solid in your arms, smelled of cloves and musk and… Abby. God, you loved it. Loved her. She would have to pry you off of her, after the long day you’d spent without her.

You just captured her lips in another kiss, your tongue skirting over her full bottom lip, and she hummed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“So much,” you said, a little breathless, when you pulled back. Your eyes roved over her face, taking in the sight of her with proverbial hearts in your eyes. She was so pretty, a few wisps of hair hanging loose from her braid, a faint smile on her lips as she gazed back at you. Her hands were on your waist, holding you against her as you leaned in to continue the kiss. 

You found yourself breathing out small giggles as she kissed you back with fervor, and she moved you backward until you bumped into the wall behind you, causing you to let out a little gasp against her lips. Your hand came forward to cup her jaw, pulling her down into you as she began to shrug off her gear, tossing it down on the floor unceremoniously without breaking the kiss.

Just the feeling of her hands on you was enough to have you breathing harder, have the familiar ache between your legs demanding attention. A needy sound slipped out of you, and Abby drew back slightly, bracing an arm against the wall beside your head as she looked down at you.

“You’re eager today,” she said softly in that velvety voice of hers. Her other hand rubbed at your waist, toying with the hem of your shirt as she slotted a muscular thigh between your legs, just lightly pressing it up against your heat. “Must’ve been waiting all day for this, huh?”

“Mm. You know I have,” you breathed, your voice slightly shaky as she moved her thigh just a bit to press more firmly against you, angled just right to rub against your sensitive clit. Your hands bunched in the front of her shirt, clenching into fists as the heat flared in your abdomen.

“Lucky me.” She leaned in to bring her lips to your neck, just under your jaw. Her kisses were hot, slow, lingering as her hand slipped higher under your shirt, calloused fingers exploring your bare skin. They drifted higher until they reached your chest, and her big hand cupped you through your thin bra, squeezing lightly. 

You let out a sigh at the feel of her all over you, your eyes fluttering a little as your whole body practically pulsed with need. The ache between your legs was growing more persistent, and you rocked your hips forward against her thigh, the firmness of it and the rough fabric of her cargo pants stimulating you just right. Pleasure shot right through you, and you hardly even realized it when a soft moan slipped from your throat.

Abby’s lips trailed from you neck to your jawline, and she moved back to look at you again, her darkened eyes drinking in your flush, your lowered eyelids. A light chuckle rumbled in her chest. “Look at you, all pretty like this. I barely touched you,” she said lowly, a slight teasing note in her voice.

Her hand in your shirt drifted back down to your waist, holding you in place as she slowly, deliberately, canted her thigh forward, rubbing it between your legs with more pressure. Instinctively, your hips attempted to rock forward again in her grasp, desperate for more friction. “Is that what you want?” she asked quietly, her face inches away from yours. Her voice was melted butter. “Does that feel good?”

“Mhm,” you hummed through another shaky sigh, too preoccupied at the moment for words. You hitched your leg up around her waist for better contact, and the heat was delicious as you ground your hips into her again. You were so sensitive, aching for her. She moved to hold your leg against her hip, steadying you as she leaned against you, pressing you harder against the wall and her firm body as you fucked yourself against her strong thigh.

She was hovering over you, arm braced against the wall, eyes glued to your face as you desperately chased your pleasure. You bit your lip, trying to hold in the sounds that were threatening to come out.

“Come on. I wanna hear you, baby,” she murmured, gaze dropping to your mouth. Relenting, you stopped holding back, allowing your breathy moans to slip out with each shift of your hips. Abby’s breathing was growing heavier, too, just from the sight and sounds of you coming undone so easily for her. “Good girl,” she said softly. The praise went straight to your core, and you whimpered, head tilted back against the wall in pleasure.

“You’re getting close, yeah?” You were—her thigh was pressing into you right where you needed it, and you were properly panting as you felt the heat begin to build steadily, becoming more intense. “Not yet,” Abby said quietly, a bit roughly. “Not until I say so. Understand?”

“Abby—ngh, I’m gonna—fuck,” you moaned, your eyes dropping shut. She was pressed flush against you, those hard, taught muscles like a solid wall as you ground yourself against her, needing more, needing release. Her grip on your leg tightened, and she picked up her own motions, helping you get there as she rocked her thigh against you. You were so turned on that you were sure there would be a damp spot left on her pants. “Abby, fuck—”

“You need to come? Hm?” she murmured, her voice a bit shaky. She could see the desperation in your movements, the way your eyebrows were kitting together, telltale signs that you were nearing your peak. Little whines had started to escape you as you tried to hold off as long as you could, but it was hopeless—you were losing it, so close to toppling off the edge. “Say please,” she said firmly, quietly, her warm breaths puffing against your face as her lips ghosted over your jaw.

“Please,” you half-whimpered, the word barely intelligible. Your mind was clouded with pleasure, and it was a struggle to keep yourself tethered to anything but the feeling building up inside you. “Please,” you tried again, the moan slightly more coherent. 

You heard Abby release a heavy breath, felt her eyes on you. “Go ahead,” she breathed. “That’s it, come for me.”

As soon as she said it, you were clenching around her, moans rising in pitch as you teetered on the edge. A few moments later the pleasure was crashing over you, and you were clutching Abby’s shoulders as you rode out your orgasm. She was half-holding you up as she pressed her thigh into you, encouraging your pleasure for as long as possible.

You cursed under your breath through the aftershocks, feeling a bit shaky as you lowered your leg to the ground in the aftermath of that intensity. It took a moment for your breathing to slow, and you leaned back against the wall, Abby leaning in to kiss your collarbone gently. You ran your hands down her arms, a breathless chuckle bubbling from your chest. 

“You need me to carry you? Or can you walk?” Abby teased, a slightly smug smile on her face as she peered down at you, caging you in against the wall. You batted her chest playfully, smirking, even though you were tempted to accept the offer. 

“Hush.” Instead, your hands went down to the button of her pants to return the favor.

[thechestnutworkshop]

buttermilk & herb chicken with garlic crostini and simple salad 🅟

I love roasted chicken—something so incredible and fresh about its burnished blistered skin, crackling to unveil the juicy bouncy flesh in the heat of 450F. The drippings that render from chicken naturally, even when just showered with salt and freshly crushed black pepper, already have an indescribably complex and full profile.

However, if you do wish to infuse aromatics, it is paramount that they are stuffed under the very skin itself, which not only is sufficient to halfway imitiate the incredible juiciness of a brined bird, but perhaps more importantly also gives heady infusion of the marinade right into the drippings; these drippings have a taste just so far removed from your idea of flavored chicken fat that it was incredibly hard not to scarf down the whole loaf of crusty bread with it, dunking and munching (my favorite bread to have with is one with very high hydration, nearing a pan cristal, with a shatteringly thin crust and a porous supple inside). Merely stuffing the cavity offers the most feeble suggestion of aromatics that it's as if the drippings were muddied, rather than flavoured.

The other option is, of course, a marinade or brine, as I'm doing here if you can afford yourself some weekend leisure—and perhaps its potency is none better showcased than with a buttermilk brine. Alone the chicken takes on an unimaginative milky note, but the herbs introduced turn the dish into indescribable magic. A heady amount of chives with the buttermilk gives the chicken a bright flavor somewhere between a green goddess and a buttermilk ranch/sour cream & onion at first bite, but the woody herbs finish the palate with a warm complexity. The buttermilk also gives a wonderful contrast between parts of the skin that become charred and other parts that have a wonderfully bouncy mouthfeel to them—a sometimes welcome break from the incredibly thin, crisp, and crackly skin of a normal roasted chicken.

Serve a side salad with this, and you have the most perfect lunch under early summery skies.

buttermilk & herb chicken with garlic crostini and simple salad

for the roasted chicken chicken 1 liter (33.8 fl oz) buttermilk

fresh herbs: 2 bunches (2 cups) of roughly chopped chives 2 tbsp minced parsley 2 tbsp minced basil 1 tbsp thyme 1 tbsp marjoram 1 tbsp minced sage 1 turkish bay leaf salt a touch of honey (just the smallest bit to assuage the tang of the buttermilk and to blister the skin, but it should not assert its sweetness in the slightest) cultured butter (a tbsp or so) brine chicken with buttermilk, herbs, salt, and honey overnight. pat incredibly dry (you do not want curdled buttermilk in your pan drippings), stuffing some of the herbs into the skin. scatter knobs of the cultured butter over the chicken before roasting—this part is essential for the most unbelievable flavor pairing with the marinade that returns pure chicken jus elixir. 450F for 25 minutes for already partitioned chicken pieces, and broil until the skin is slightly charred (the buttermilk discourages this). - for the crostini crusty bread garlic clove californian olive oil maldon salt in a dry pan toast a crusty piece of bread. while warm (very important), rub a cut garlic clove onto it. drizzle californian olive oil and maldon salt. - for the salad greens (I chose little gem, chicory, and frisee from the farmer's market) californian olive oil champagne (or white balsamic) vinegar salt tear greens gently—that way, the torn edge of the leaves will preserve the same texture as the rest of the leaf. with your hands, gently toss the greens with the olive oil, vinegar, and salt.

🅟 indicates a high-protein meal (that is, at least 10g of protein for every 100cal)

[chefilona]

CHEF ILONA: Getting squashed!

When I was growing up, the pumpkin was always a popular ingredient in my home. My father who is of Armenian heritage loved eating not only the pumpkin flesh but relished coaxing the pumpkin seed from its shell after they were freshly roasted. Eating seeds in this way is ubiquitous in Middle Eastern culture and preparing squash in the fall was a favourite childhood memory of mine.

There is a myriad of varieties under the autumn squash umbrella and a plethora of unique species within each subset of varietals that would add seasonal flair to your table. Butternut squash is certainly one of the most readily available of the autumn squash, but I urge you to head out to the farmer’s market nearest you, or pop over to the many pumpkin patches that dot Atlantic Canada to try something different.

I recently went to a farm market in Summerside and learned a lot about different varieties of squash and I even got to try some varieties that I had never heard of before.  For the recipe I am sharing with you today, I picked up two smaller varieties of the Hubbard squash, Winter Sweet and Ambercup, and a white acorn squash. To make my double stuffed fall squash it really doesn’t matter which variety you choose, I personally prefer the smaller sizes because they are quicker to prepare and easier to serve.

You can play with the filling to suit your taste preferences. I used kale, but spinach, dandelion greens or Swiss chard would be equally delicious substitutions. I also opted to add cheese curds into the mix because they are like little nuggets of lactic joy, but feel free to use any cheese you like. If you want to enhance the sweetness profile, a ¼ cup of maple syrup or dried cranberries would work well with the flavour profile. If you want to make the stuffed squash a showstopper, consider garnishing with some pumpkin seeds, chopped pistachios, and pomegranate arils.

Double Stuffed Autumn Squash

Created by Chef Ilona Daniel

Serves 4-6

2 butternut squash or 4 smaller squash like Hubbard Burgess Buttercup, Acorn, or Sunshine Kabocha, halved and seeded

1 bunch kale, roughly 2 cups chopped leaves only

5 cloves garlic

 ¼ cup butter

1 cup cheddar, grated

1 cup cheese curds

1 cup plain sour cream

½ tsp nutmeg

3 tsp summer savory

Freshly ground salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Place your squash halves cut side up and drizzle the flesh with olive oil then season with salt and pepper, rub the flesh evenly. Bake for 40-50 minutes or until squash is fork tender.

While the squash is roasting, sauté the chopped kale with the garlic, summer savory and butter until the kale just begins to wilt.

Once the squash is cooked, scoop out the flesh into a bowl, being careful not to pierce the skin.

In the bowl with the squash flesh, add in the cooked kale, half of the cheddar cheese, sour cream, nutmeg, summer savory, and salt and pepper to taste.  Mix everything together with a fork until creamy then add the squash mixture back into the about halfway, then sprinkle with cheese curds and top with more of the squash mixture. Sprinkle cheddar cheese over the top of the stuffed squash. Bake for another 15 minutes at 400F or until the cheddar on the top is melted and bubbling.

[mouthfulloftoothpasterry]

It’s my wedding too

Warnings: none, a little angst.

Summary: y/n gets a little possessive when planning the wedding. Younger racer!harry

“We should go with those flowers.” Harry mumbles, pointing to the purple flowers on Y/n’s phone while she scrolled through a floristry’s online shop. “Those don’t go with the colors. Our colors are cranberry red and white.” She says, being oddly specific. Harry quirks an eyebrow, looking down at the bunch of flowers splayed out and the large vision board she created for the wedding. “So no purple?”

“No, Harry. You always do that.”

“Well it’s my wedding too! You haven’t let me make a single decision for our wedding, last time I checked you’re not the only one getting married.” Harry grumbles, standing up from their shared loveseat and stomping up the stairs of their expensive home. Y/n watches as he throws his small fit, letting him walk away angry and annoyed.

She stays down stairs in the living room, scrolling through the flowers and trying to decide what would look best with their tablecloths they already chose about a month back. She thought she was in the right until she went back and looked at everything they (she planned) had planned. All of the china, the caterer, the photographer, and even designed the save the dates. She felt bad that Harry wanted to be so involved with the wedding unlike most guys and she hasn’t even let him.

She wanders up the stairs and walks to their room, silently opening the door and climbing on the bed where he was sitting, facing away from the door and looking down at his phone. She wraps her arms around him, kissing his neck then laying her head on his shoulder. “Hi lover.” She mumbles into his warm skin while trying to butter him up since it looked like she really upset him. She rubs over his back, massaging over the spot that is always hurting him. “I’m sorry. It’s your wedding too and I should be happy you even want to be involved. I really appreciate you... I was thinking we could either do poppies, or tulips. But you can pick whatever you want.”

“I want poppies and baby’s breath.” He finally speaks after what felt like centuries of silence. Y/n nods, jotting it down in her notes as a reminder to place an order for the flower before her hands move up to rub over his strong back again. “That will be perfect. I’m sorry I’ve been leaving you out. I feel really bad, lover.” Harry shrugs and shoves his phone under his thigh, twiddling his thumbs. “What’s wrong?”

“I just want to be able to remember this and I feel like I don’t even know what our wedding is going to look like.” A frown framed his fiancés face, pulling her arms down to anxiously pick at her nails. “That makes me feel like a shit wife.” She breathes with a laugh, rubbing over her eyes so she doesn’t get over emotional and start crying. Harry's face pinched together, shaking his head. “M’sorry lover. I don’t want to make you feel that way. I just want to be more involved, I’m really excited.”

She maneuvers around and sits next to him, resting her forehead on his arm and holding their hands together in his lap. “I’ll show you everything we have so far and I’ll let you make any changes you want.” Harry thanks her, pressing his lips firmly to hers in a bit more than a peck.

“Thank you. I love you, wife.”

[peakyblindersxx]

come home with me - finn shelby x reader

a/n: you have @michaelgreys to thank for this one (& the gif!!! check her out she's amazing). s5 finn cause god damn!!1 i honestly dont have much to say about this one other than it's definitely self indulgent and not even god can help me at this point. i'm working on p4 to whiskey buisness rn as well as some requests, thank you for all the sweet comments!!

love, abi xxx

my masterlist

prompt: finn hates you so much he might want to fuck you.

warnings: nsfw!! smut, pretty fluffy cause he's baby 🥺

Working for the Shelby Company wasn’t difficult, except for one thing: Finn Shelby. You were one of the many secretaries, in charge of conveying messages, filing papers, and many other important things, such as making sure the glass decanter of whiskey sitting on the bar cart in Tommy’s office was never empty. It wasn’t a very taxing job, but Finn went out of his way to get under your skin in every way he could. Maybe it was the fact that you wouldn’t back down, having a quick retort to anything close to disrespectful that he said to you. The other brothers never said a thing to intervene, Arthur even telling you he was glad you had a backbone.

“Finn’s a cocky thing, eh? Too cocky for his own good. A girl like you’ll put ‘im in his place,” he had slurred, while you collected the letters he’d asked you to mail.

“Dunno, Mr. Shelby,” you’d mused. “Seems like he’s got some sort of problem with me.”

“Don’t even bother with that, he’s just an arrogant fuck. Probably got some sort of crush on you an’ is too shy to do shit about it. You know, first time he fucked a whore, he said sorry,” Arthur grunted. You’d chalked up his admissions to the half empty bottle of whiskey that he was clutching and the light dusting of snow on his right nostril. Still, you couldn’t help but wonder if the looks Finn shot your way, though seemingly out of irritation, meant something more. You couldn’t lie, you’d thought about what it’d be like to feel the youngest Shelby brother’s bow-shaped lips on your neck, his hands on your waist. It couldn’t be true, you resolved; Arthur was just wasted and you were delusional.

Monday came, and Tommy had asked you to work in the betting shop for the next few weeks. “Make sure Finn’s not fucking up,” he had grunted, taking a long drag of his cigarette, clear blue eyes barely leaving the stacks of paper that littered his massive desk. Of course you’d agreed, but you were nervous. Something about it made your heart beat faster in your chest. You took a shot of whiskey before you left, hoping the dark liquor would help calm your nerves. Isaiah insisted on accompanying you, telling you there were too many people that didn’t like them around there and to make sure someone was always with you for the next few weeks. You were grateful for his presence, the jokes he cracked easing your mind as the two of you walked briskly along the cobblestone streets. It didn’t take long to get there, Isaiah holding the door open for you as the warm air inside the betting office washed over you. Finn turned to see who it was, a scowl tugging at the edges of his mouth once he saw you.

“Why the fuck is she here,” he drawled, sitting at his desk with his feet up, a half-finished cigarette dangling from his fingertips. As much as you hated to admit it, he looked fucking good, hair neatly combed back, smelling of expensive cologne in a pressed navy blue suit. He was tall, legs stretching across the desk as he sent a glare in your direction, you rolling your eyes in response.

“Tommy said,” Isaiah interjected, sensing the tension in the air. “He said you said you needed more help, or somethin’.”

“Fuckin’ christ,” Finn mumbled, taking a drag from his cigarette before putting it out on the crystal ashtray that sat on his desk, standing to grab a stack of books from one of the shelves behind him.

“Jesus, it’s like I’m the fucking plauge or something,” you retorted, Isaiah stifling his chuckle as he looked anywhere but at the two of you. Finn ignored you, instead setting the pile of books on his desk.

“Come look at this, before I change my mind,” he said, instead. You obliged, walking behind his desk to see what he was gesturing to as Isaiah excused himself, something about “gettin’ fucking plastered, mate!” Finn was easily a head taller than you, so he practically towered over you, engulfing you in a cloud of his intoxicating cologne as you stood so close to him that you could practically feel the heat emanating from his body.

“So, these are the bets, and those are the outcomes,” he explained, arm brushing against your body slightly as he pointed to the different columns written out in the log. To your chagrin, your skin prickled in response, your body unable to control itself. Yet, you pushed it down, not wanting to give Finn the satisfaction of knowing that you wanted him. God knows he’d hold it against you forever. What he was explaining was simple enough, and you were able to grasp it fairly quickly. He was all business, handing you the logs he needed you to double check, as you sank into the desk adjacent to his, pouring over the books and coming to him to confirm small corrections.

However, after a couple of drinks of whiskey (some of which you admittedly consumed), Finn started talking. Small things, like how irritating Tommy was or how much they’d made off a certain horse. He’d never opened up to you like this; it was always a snide remark that usually set off an argument, since the two of you were fairly hot-headed. This time, it was different. Finn was still looking at you, but with slightly rosy cheeks and a smile threatening to spread across his face every time you made a witty remark. This time, you liked the way he was looking at you.

***

Two thirds of a bottle later, you were both on the floor in front of the fire, laughing at something Finn had said. Admittedly, he had said it just to see you laugh. He liked when you laughed, he realized. It was much better than the irritated look on your face that he usually saw. In all honesty, it was probably his fault, he thought to himself. Maybe it was the whiskey talking, but he really wanted to see you smile for the rest of his life. You sat next to him, shoulders brushing as the two of you talked, your jacket long abandoned, revealing the flimsy straps of the black lace dress. You looked so fucking pretty, he couldn’t help himself.

“You’re fucking beautiful, you know that, right? Always wondered why you hung ‘round us lot, bunch of mean fuckers.” The words fell out of his mouth, hovering in the air between the two of you. You stared at him, slightly taken aback, but the liquor was doing the talking for both of you, it seemed.

“Look who’s fucking talking. Half the girls in Brum would gladly fuck you, even just for a night.”

Finn paused, lighting a cigarette and offering you a drag.“What about you?”

You accepted, taking a puff before passing it back. “What about me?”

He cracked a grin. “Would you fuck me?”

His bluntness took you aback, but you were too far gone to think properly. “Maybe,” you admitted, a coy smile playing at your lips. Finn’s eyes darkened, closing the distance between the two of you until his body was almost touching yours, the tension between you crackling like the fire just a few feet away.

“What about now?” he muttered, lips brushing ever so slightly against your neck, causing you to shiver. He noticed, his hands finding the curve of your hips, searing through your dress. You couldn’t help but tilt your neck back slightly, a gasp leaving your lips as Finn pressed an open-mouthed kiss to your skin.

“Finn,” you moaned quietly, the smile on his lips growing wider as his hands fiddled with the hem of your dress, fingertips sliding underneath to grip lightly at the soft skin of your thighs. “Fuckin’ do something already, christ.”

Finn grinned. “Always got a fuckin’ mouth on you, eh? You’re lucky I find that attractive,” he teased. You opened your mouth to retort, but before you could, his fingers found your silk panties, pushing them to the side to rub lightly against your clit, causing you to jolt in pleasure. You were already wet, to Finn’s satisfaction, and he had no trouble pushing a finger inside of you. The moans that were leaving your mouth were sinful, and he savored each one, watching the way you squirmed when he added another, curling them inside of you.

“Look so goddamn pretty, stuffed full of my fingers,” he crooned, sending your eyes rolling back in your head, eyelashes fluttering.

“Finn, please,” you whined, his nimble fingers deftly unzipping your dress and sliding it off, leaving you in your black silk bra and panties. Finn paused, taking a second to drink you in before pressing his lips to yours. They were softer than you could have imagined, hands gripping at your waist as he tugged at your bottom lip for access. You let him in, melting at his touch like butter.

“Want you inside me,” you mumbled against his lips, causing his muscles to stiffen as he sprang into action, pulling you on top of him, lining his already hard cock up with you. He was big, and if you weren’t already so ready for him, you might have been a little nervous. He slowly pushed inside of you, helping you sink down on top of him with one hand as he swore under his breath, using his other hand to unhook your bra, throwing it to the side and exposing your breasts to the cool air, nipples hardening at his touch.

“Fuckin’ gorgeous,” Finn growled, unable to resist from taking one of them into his mouth, rolling it between his teeth. The sound you made in response was pathetic, but fuck if it wasn’t fueling his appetite for you. He couldn’t help but push up into you, a tight grip on your hipbones, holding you up as he rammed into you, cock pressing up against your g-spot, sending your vision spinning.

“Fuck, Finn, m’gonna cum,” you cried, eyes sqeezed shut, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of pleasure he was giving you. Finn grunted, somehow increasing his pace, pressing kisses to wherever he could.

“Go ahead darlin’, want you to cum all over my cock,” he cajoled, the words sending waves of pleasure through you. You couldn’t help but follow his orders, colors flickering across your eyesight. The image of you cumming just for him sent Finn over the edge, groaning your name as he finished inside of you, dripping down the inside of your thighs. You looked so fucking angelic in the firelight, he had the sudden urge to take care of you.

“Y’alright?” He asked, reaching for a rag to clean you up. You nodded, smiling softly down at him as he couldn’t help but press a kiss to your hipbone. He looked up at you, eyes full of adoration.

“Come home with me?” Finn murmured, hands fidgeting.

“Yeah,” you replied, a glow tinging your cheeks as you looked at him the same. “Let’s go home.”

[alurrina]

Yes ik billy is a big tough macho man- but he’s IN PAIN OK???

Hehe sorry, this is my first time writing fanfic. I love writing but I normally do things like that for schoolwork, I’ve never done something like this so let me know if there’s too much of repetition or if there are things I that need to be fixed, or if it is too much idk!

Just would loveeee some feedback <3

And I just came up with it bc I was thinking abt @prettyboiiharringrove and their amazing writing/ their omega!billy and alpha!steve fics (so credit to them). But I don’t think I’ve seen them do one with this context (if that makes sense), or I’ve not noticed anyone write it like this- anywayyyyy!

I hope y’all like it! Pls go easy one me :,)

Steve had an off feeling. He was coming home from a long day of work, exhausted and in need of his omega. He had bought billy some peanut butter cups and Oreos, his favourite treats since being pregnant.

He wanted to surprise billy so he made sure to stay quiet while entering. Though he couldn’t stop his sinking heart when he closed the door and heard his lover crying and screaming in pain. He immediately dropped everything he had and ran up the stairs. Groans, sobs and shrieking was all that filled his ears.

“Billy! Billy?!…. Baby I’m here, I’m coming!”

The sight he found was one of the most gut-wrenching thing he’s ever seen. His poor billy was over the bathroom sink, knees weak arms dangling but still trying to grip onto the sides of the counter top. No clothes just boxers. Billy groaned trying not to cry and to stop his wails, but to no avail. It tore Steve’s heart up. He knows that his lover has been in pain for a while now (being extremely pregnant), it just hurts him so much to know that he wasn’t here to comfort and hold his baby in his arms. But that didn’t matter now. He’s here and that’s all that counts.

Steve bolts for him. “Hey, hey baby it’s ok, I got you, I’m right here.”

Steve got one hand under his large stomach, and one across his chest and underarm so that he was able to turn him face-to-face.

Billy draped his arms around Steve, gripping his shoulders as hard as he could. “Stevie-e…ah-ha….” Billy let out in the most pained voice, it broke the brunettes heart. Steve cupped one of Billy’s cheeks and rubbed there faces together, taking time to look into his eyes. They were so full of pain and tiredness. He wished he could take all the pain his lover has, he’d give anything for billy to feel good and happy.

Billy was still whimpering and letting out small mules and groans.

“Oh baby…. My poor baby, Im sorry…. I’m so so sorry..” Steve said looking into his eyes. He nuzzled his neck and peppered kisses ad he lifted billy up, turning him bridal style so it wasn’t too uncomfortable. They nuzzled up to each other, Steve whispering sweet nothings in Billy’s ear as he leads them to their bed.

Steve gently places Billy on the bed. Bunching up the pillows around him and wrapping a small fuzzy blanket over his body. Steve takes off a few layers of his clothing so that he’s left with his socks, jeans and nothing more. He’s never seen Billy like this but he knows that when he’s upset he likes to feel the skin of his own and his lovers’ touching.

Steve brings Billy to sit somewhere in between his legs, closer on his left leg and wraps his arms around him, peppers kisses all over his face and neck, snuggling together as he puts the blanket over them.

“It’s ok my love I’m here. Please don’t cry. I love you so much, I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” Whispers Steve; kissing and sniffing the other, wiping away his tears.

“Baby- please.. don’t apologise…” billy let’s out through groans. “I was just in some pain… it’s getting harder closer to the due date- ah ha- but I’ll be ok. Baby’s just exited.” He huffed, trying to lighten the mood.

Steve couldn’t help but let out a little snort, smiling a little sadly at his lover, nuzzling his face into Billys cheek, still giving him kisses while rubbing his stomach soothingly.

“ I just wish I was here for you more so that I know when shit like this happens. so that I can be there for you and help you…. why didn’t you call me?” Steve questioned.

“ I don’t know… I guess, I just didn’t wanna…. bother you-?”

“Hey! Nuh-uh, I’m not sure how many times I’ve gotta say this till you believe me, but I’ll keep going until you do.” Steve said using one of his hands to turn Billys face so that they can look at each other. “You. You, Billy Hargrove will never ever, be a burden to me. I’m sorry for all the shit that people have put into your head and the assholes that have treated you bad. but with me, I’m sorry baby but you’re not getting any of that! you could beat the shit out of me and I’m still gonna be there for you! I could have been shot and I still would not be bothered by you if you came to me.” Billy vision went foggy.

“ if anything I want to be doing that for you. you’re carrying our pups baby! you need to have more faith in yourself and trust that I could never be bothered by you and that Ill always love you no matter what happens.”

Steve honestly felt like crying himself. He just hated that Billy felt this way.

He looked deep into Billys aquatic eyes and Billy started to cry. Steve immediately wrapped his arms tighter around Billy, turning him to be more in his lap, kissing away his tears and massaging his body, while running his fingers through The thick curls he loves so much. He squeezed Billys thighs and cuddle him so tight, Billy was practically sucked into him. Billy took deep long sniffs of his lovers sent, to help him calm down. Steve whispered loving things into his ear while kissing him all over nuzzling their faces together.

Once calm, Billy grabbed Steve‘s face between his two hands, “I love you… so much Steve. Thank y-you for showing me… how to love. And what it feels like, to be.. Lo-oved as well.” Billy smiled at him with a tear streaked face, eyes still wet. Steve kissed him soft and tender. Cupping his face then running it back over Billy’s body.

“I’m glad that’s how you feel. I don’t think you understand how much I love you baby.”

He rested their foreheads together and asked, “ are you okay to tell me what happened? you don’t need to if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t know baby it’s just all the stress of what would happen when I deliver and everything about having a baby. it’s also just very painful, so yeah..”

“yeah I’m so sorry baby, I wish there was something I could do but I promise you, it will be worth it when they’re born.” Steve said smiling wide and staring lovingly at Billy, as he did it back.

“Yeah I know, I can’t wait.” Billy said with a smile, biting his lip and looking down at Steve‘s hands rubbing over his belly. He loved it when Steve did that showing love to him and the unborn baby. But he knew Steve was staring at his stomach and as always would have the tiniest bit of insecurity no matter what was going on. Steve noticed the sort of slight panic that Billy had and watched how he twitched and shifted in his arms. Before he could hide away though Steve looked at him,

“Baby look at me.” Billy’s head moved up a little and Steve‘s hand went to his cheek making sure that he actually looked at him.

“ I know that I can’t make you believe something that you don’t think is true, but please baby. let me admire you for a little bit. you don’t understand how beautiful you are, carrying our pups. your stomach is perfect and so is the rest of your body! you’ll always be the same gorgeous guy that I first fell in love with no matter how you look. Abs or round belly, so please stop worrying as much about these little details, it’s gonna make you stress more it’s not good for you or the babies, please my love..” Steve said seriously at him, but showed loving eyes. He is sure his heart would’ve turned to dust by now if it wasn’t for the fact that Billy needed him now.

Billy looked back at him almost shocked, but at the same time what could he expect? There wasn’t a day that went by without 100 compliments from his love. His eyes stung and watered but only one or two drops came from them.

“Thank you for loving me. I love you so much baby.” Billy said, looking deep into coco brown eyes.

Steve mumbled something along the lines of ‘always B’, then kissed him on the eyes, cheeks, nose and mouth and said ‘I love you too’.

“C’mon let’s get some rest. We both need it” Steve whispered as he laid them down. “Mhm’”. He pulled billy into him and cuddled him, kissed him until he finally fell asleep. soon following after.

[aetheternity]

Sight, smell, touch, taste, sound and which one I believe would draw the Aot girls to you. Kinda Modern Au 🤷‍♀️ idk you be the judge.

(Pov: none of you asked for this but I got bored and decided to give it to you anyway.)

Mikasa

~Touch

The first time you touched her it was to pat her shoulder and tell her, "good luck" on a mission and she's been riding that high til the day she finally had you.

She was already so infatuated by you to the point that every bit of your touch became a daily necessity.

Locking you into her tight hugs late at night.

Pulling your lips back into hers whenever you try to escape.

She'll give you tiny kisses spread all over your face as soon as you wake up. And she's a huge fan of eskimo kisses. You might even trigger a little giggle from her when you initiate them.

She wants to rest her head on your chest and fall asleep to your heartbeat.

She's got your fingers perfectly knotted with hers in every situation.

Tangles your legs when the two of you are resting on the couch.

"I have to get up sometime Mikasa." Not today you don't.

Her favorite spot to scratch is your lower back. She softly circles her nails over that bit of skin after hiking your shirt up.

Please let her spend the day with you in her lap it's the perfect amount of intimate for her.

Annie

~Touch/Sound

One day you came to her with concern filling your eyes and hugged her even though you never had before. You simply told her, "I feel like something's wrong but I won't pry. Just know I'll be waiting for you to come back to me." So softly in her ear and despite her push back at first her feelings for you grew stronger everyday.

She grew to adore the smallest things about you.

The sounds of your low morning yawns before you kiss her face.

The warmth of your knee resting between her thighs

Loves when you whine her name. It sends heat flowing through her entire body. "What do you want?" (She'll pretend she hates it tho.)

Whenever you two are alone she has her head firmly placed on your chest, falling asleep to your heartbeat. Just like Mikasa (No you do not have to pee lay back down)

Loves when you card your fingers through her untied hair. (Sometimes you make her hum when you scratch the back of her head just right.)

She's gotta have your hands when you two are cuddling. Holding you like she's scared you're not really there.

Whisper in her ear and she just might shiver for you.

Laugh when she's sarcastic and watch the pretty pink color dust over her cheeks.

Tells you she loves you under her breath and melts when you say it back after kissing her cheek or neck.

Sasha

~(Sweet angel 🥺) Touch/taste

She held your hand like she'd always done with you and asked what you'd want your last meal in the world to be. Fucking around you said, "You." And the girl practically burst into flame. Meanwhile Connie at the opposite end of the table is mocking y'all talking about some, "Get a room already!" And then you did 😏

Oh, you just had some candy? She's biting your lips and sucking on your tongue.

Oh, your shampoo/body wash smells like banana, coconut, strawberries etc? She's got her face in your neck giving you little kisses. (Sometimes she'll give you a little kitten lick but it's fine cause you love it 😃).

She likes mutual feeding (ik that sounds weird idk how else to put it.) Like if you guys are eating popcorn together while watching a movie, she likes when you place the popcorn in her mouth and she does the same for you.

Licks the butter off your fingers when the popcorns gone.

When you stretch your arms next to her and then proceed to wrap them around her neck or waist she's in heaven.

Adores the feeling of your fingers splayed over her stomach right after she finished eating and the way you tease her by stroking her inner thigh.

Randomly jumps in the shower with you so that she can run her hands up and down every inch of your skin.

Sometimes she wakes you with a bunch of forehead kisses.

"Five more minutes please.." You beg

If you wake up before her though she'd love to be wrapped in your arms as she eats breakfast.

Hitch

~Sight (y'all already know my baby's a lil shallow)

It was like a movie scene. She saw you across the room during a small party for the anniversary of the military police first debut and she just had to have you. And bug you.. she stayed by your side as often as possible after that.

She'll laugh so that her compliments on your body sound less genuine but she means it every time.

And when you're not looking she's got her lip between her teeth, eyes working up and down your body.

"I wanna see you in this honestly." She'll say late at night handing you a picture and covering her face as you look at it.

"Reminds me of your pink dress?"

"Yeah! Yes.. that's the point we'll match."

Doesn't matter how long you've been dating. She'll always build a little tension before every kiss by looking directly at your lips then back into your eyes with a little smirk.

Whistles when you wear an outfit she recommended.

She never straight up says it but her favorite part of your body is the part you like the least.

Backwards ass compliments.

"You know orange isn't normally your color but today you made it work." And "You seem really confident despite wearing those pants."

Don't worry it's how she shows affection.

Makes you blush as often as possible because she just can't get enough of how gorgeous you are when you do.

Pieck

~Sight/taste

From the second she saw you she knew she had to get you out of your little bubble. You'd both done the warrior training as kids and you always kept to yourself. She thought a person like you looked like you had a lot of secrets. And she was gonna learn as many as possible. The older you guys got the more attractive you became to each other and you kinda fell back into the nervousness she thought she'd driven out of you. Eventually she got you to accidentally blurt a confession. Next thing you knew her tongue was pulling all conscious thought out of you.

Idk Pieck gives me the vibes that she'd always be looking for a way to stick her tongue down your throat?? (Just me?? Alright..)

She'll twirl you around with a hand around your waist. Unabashedly checking you out.

Loves long sweet kisses while she rests between your legs.

Will never stop smiling at you when you exit the shower in only a towel.

Brushes her lips over your stomach to wake you.

She's so enamored by the twinkle in your eye when you talk with the younger generation of warriors.

Playfully suggests you just walk around the house completely naked so she can really appreciate your body.

Her heart one hundred percent drops when she sees you sad for even a second.

Let her kiss you wherever she wants! It's a lot easier than arguing with her!

And she will try in some weird places. (She gives me body worshipper vibes.)

Yelena

~Sound

She heard about you due to rumors about your incredible fighting style. But what made her seek you out was the knowledge that you were next in line to become a titan shifter. It was hard to tell if her affection was due to interest in you as a person or your incredible fighting style but one day she asked you to live with her in the new world. Of course you said yes.

She loves the sound of you singing. (If you can sing) Sometimes she actively seeks you out and asks for you to sing to her.

Your war cries make her back arch (shh I didn't say that).

The second you guys started dating she developed a sixth sense of some sort where she just shows up if you're crying or if your day has been going terrible.

She just adores the sound of your voice and she can't get enough of it.

I could see her dragging you off some place where the two of you can just talk.

Within less than a week of dating you she's already got ways to get any noise she wants out of you.

Graze their neck with the tip of your nose for giggles and kiss the tips of their ears for I love you's.

That sort of thing.

Whenever you make a noise she hasn't heard before she's dying to force you to make it again.

Idk what it's called but I feel like Yelena has that thing where noises are attributed to colors in her brain. And at some point she explains all the colors she sees whenever you make certain noises.

Hange

~Sight/touch

Moblit had to take a.. short vacation after one of Hange's lab disasters nearly crippled him.. so Erwin had asked you to fill in and you said yes. It was only for a couple weeks and during that time Hange stuck to you like glue. Throwing an arm over your shoulder, stealing little glances and laughing loudly when you'd catch her. It felt like normal Hange stuff. But on the last night before Moblit's return, Hange was weirdly not.. Hange.. being quiet, filling in data and barely making eye contact. You asked if you'd done something wrong but Hange barely said anything back. Before you left she was nose deep in paperwork. You said your goodbyes and you were about to leave when Hange asked if you'd be willing to go on a date. When you looked back she hadn't even looked up but you smiled and nodded with a little yes and the rest was history.

It's a no brainer that you spent all your free time in Hange's lab to be Hange's other support system other than Moblit.

And when Moblit died, Hange's entire support system.

Her touch lingering on your lower back as you lean over to check her notes.

Completely enamored with the glint in your eye whenever the two of you come up with a sort of breakthrough.

Deadass pulls you into her lap at the most random times.

Oh hey the meeting finally finished? Yanks your frame right into her lap and laughs at the eye rolling of fellow colleagues.

Hange will say sorry but that blush on your face was so worth it and she's so glad she did it.

Rubs your back as you sleep on the work piled on your side of the desk.

Probably accidentally wakes you up a couple minutes after you fell asleep though.

Hange once sat you on her lap after a meeting right before Erwin tried to hand her some papers over the table. Without thinking she stood up to grab them and your face slammed into the table while her hips were pressed against your ass. Immediately getting everyone's attention. Safe to say you no longer sit next to Hange at meetings. (I had to add this even though it's a little off topic and random.)

Historia

~Smell (First one here.)

She had to share a room with you until she became queen. And almost every night she'd have some kind of nightmare about Ymir. You didn't mean to make a move but one night she crawled into your bed like she always had and you wrapped your arms around her shivering form like you always did. She had her nose trapped in your nape and you pressed a kiss to her forehead hoping it would stop her harsh breathing. And it did. She froze, the world froze, everything froze. You had leaned back to apologize for overstepping her boundaries and she kissed you back.

She'd gotten so comfortable with your scent that not only did it constantly lull her to sleep but always gave her a sense of security.

You're her security blanket. I don't make the rules.

Speaking of blankets. You gave her yours when she moved into the castle.

Whenever she gets even an hour alone she's trying to get you in the castle so she can sit in your lap and bury her nose in your nape like she always has.

She also steals your shirts and hoodies as often as possible until they smell like her then you have to take them back and cover them with your stink again.

Spending early mornings in the castle after washing your hair and her telling you over and over that she missed your smell.

It's legit like having a long distance relationship while being in the same place.

And she doesn't let you go until the last second before you both have to go back to work.

If you guys have time and you shop together she'll keep the candles that you believed smelled the best in her room.

All in all give Historia your shirts to wear cause she loves them/they look great on her.

Ymir

~Sight/touch

You're probably either super sweet like Krista or really sarcastic like her and that's what draws her to look more in depth into you. When she finally gets a chance to actually look at you fully without the odm gear she finds herself fixated, tracing your figure with her eyes. You guys finally become friends, who mutually enjoy bullying Reiner. But she finds that she hates it. Thinks you're teasing her every time you brush her fingertips without actually holding her dammed hand. One day she just reaches out and grabs you properly and doesn't let go. Yeah, you're dating now.

What can I say except, she likes running a finger over the lines on your palm.

She's always grabbing you out of nowhere but you don't mind. You just let her hold you.

"You look extra beautiful today, bet you'll look even better when I put a ring on your finger."

Puts her hands under your shirt with no fucking shame.

Stares at you and yells at the first person that mocks her. Reiner/Connie

Can and will find a way to smack your ass the second she gets you alone.

Trails little butterfly kisses over your shoulders when you're trying to get dressed in the morning.

Literally everything you do is weirdly skillful to her.

Like you're peeling a potato and she's like, "You're so amazing at that.."

Let her lean on you for absolutely no reason she loves it. 🤷‍♀️

(I realized after writing this that Annie and Armin have the same one even tho I don't ship them at all 😕)

[muffindaddystyles]

More of desi y/n imagines?? I really like all of yours imagines desi and other

DESI PREGO READER DURING QUARANTINE WITH HARRY!!

It was the best, delightful time in Harry’s life. During quarantine when they found out they were two months pregnant and to say the least Harry wouldn’t stop crying into Y/N's chest because he may not thought of becoming a dad so soon but it still cocooned him with such a sanguine feeling – he became a puddle of sweetness at Y/N's toes.

After telling their families. It was bunch of well wishes and advises from them well more of Y/N's mum teaching her a list of their old traditional tricks and eating habits to stay healthy.

Y/N didn’t need a pregnancy pillow at all. Harry fulfilled that role with such dignity and proud, happy to have her bump over his tummy and her thighs slinked around his own while she snored with little wheezy drooly breaths against his cheek wiggling everytime he traces his fingertips under the crescents of her plum tits.

They had all the time to themselves doing face masks made out of turmeric, yogurt and chickpea flour and he is never able to resist but to sneak his palm under bum and nudge her up into his lap to suckle soft kisses at her lips because she looked heart-achingly adorable in shalwar kameez Anne had tailored for her from one of her closest Indian friend for Y/N to wear in her pregnancy (because Y/N’s wardrobe’s already filled with many of them and she finds herself most comfy wearing them).

Her womb starting to get beautiful and big with passing months heralded Harry about her jesting cravings and her tremendous hormones.

He'd drive an hour to get to Waseem's grandma to get some desi makhan (organic butter) for Y/N since she’s Punjabi and it just rotted her mood when her favourite South Asian store down the block was shut most of the time, having dry parathas in brekkie used to be no fun.

“Hmm. Smells so nice.” Harry hums tipping his nose, nostrils expanding greedily to soak into it as Y/N made them passing him a cheeky smile, “It was worth tha’ boring drive,” The corner of his lips denting into a looping smile as he flutters his eyelashes up at her with his chin buried in his palm and elbow bent upon the counter.

“She even taught me how make desi makhan at home!” His chest boasted out proudly and Y/N’s head lulled at her shoulder with giggles slipping past her rosy mouth, she rounded over the counter to reach him and he had his hands already splayed forward to hold her and bring her into him.

“You’re g'na make makhan for me?” Pure love if you ask me so. When Harry rattled his head happily her lips wobbled terribly eyes glossing from feeling lightheaded with his affection and caring assiduousness for such intricate wishes for her spreading in to her bones.

“I love you, so, so, much.” She squished his cheeks between her spread palms and mantled his simpering lips, bushy cheeks and eyes with wet gaspy kisses -- sweeping his tufts of curls away to press her lips against his forehead while he kept on hugging her from belly swaying them ever so lightly.

..

They'd be binge watching Sharukh Khan's rom-coms on Netflix when she’d whine into his throat about how she’s craving jalebis so bad, she’s ready to walk bare foot to get a takeaway if that’s possible and Harry would just chuckle at her dramatic antics kissing her temple feeling the healthy pulse there and would take her along into the kitchen.

“No need fo’ tha’ baby. We could make them at home.” Harry learned to make jalebis for Y/N when they first started dating -- they had this huge fight and Y/N refused to let him be anywhere near her. Harry knew it shouldn’t have hurt him this much since he considered it just a fling, but when in a lonely bed all he missed was her warmth and her fragrance looming around him as some sort of comforting blanket he realized he wouldn’t be able to spend another night without her.

At, three in the morning he learned how to make jalebis and they might were topsy-turvy leaving stains on his clothes, sticky gooey fingers the sentiment behind it was just so pure and loving.

Y/N still remembers him popping up at her doorstep barely recognisable drenched in rain while he tried to keep the container safe under his hoodie all she was able to do was smash her lips against his wet slippery ones not caring if they tumbled into mud from her literal passionate attack.

“How ‘bout we open a sweets shop instead?” He grinned taking perfectly orange sorbet jalebis out from oil, bunny teeth fully displaying now when she giggled softly wiggling her brows at him, “Touring the world's no more fun ey?” Her heart thumps sadly when a pregnant pause lingered in air and she cooed when his shoulders slumped, fingers fumbling with the tissue paper.

“No more without ye'.” Her arms wrapping around his torso, cheek smushed under his shoulder blade as they let themselves divulge into tranquil calmness.

“Good thing's now you’ll come back to the two of us.” She tried to cheer him up and he just rubbed his stinging eyes with the heels of his palm, sighing then turning towards her to cradle her face to make her look up at him.

“You make me s'happy, y'know that?” His thumb swooning over her bottom lip tenderly and she gave him a playful nip with mischievous eyes, “Defo knows that –- gloats me ego.” She smiles into the their messy kiss tugging onto his flimsy shirt to keep her upright and snacking the plate of delights from behind him.

“Oi! Come back here y'greedy goat!” He'd complain practically stomping behind her to their bedroom.

..

The mornings are quite an experience for both of them. She’d wake up to the elated sight of him snuggled into her side, suffocating him with his rings of curls all over her face and his swelled up bulge resting heavy against her thighs.

To ease it for him she slithers her hand into his sweats brushing her fingertips along his stiffy length and giggles hoarsely when he stirs and squeezes her tighter whining aimlessly in her neck.

“Harry ...” She whispers knuckling a hand up his soft cheek and he quips lightly with a snore, “Mhmm. He’s asleep.” So, Y/N shrugs and retrieves her hand away from around his throbbing cock that supports a semi after her attention.

“No baby!” He pants out sleepily catching her wrist and guiding her touch under his heavy balls.

“Shh. Shh. Gimme a kiss.” She prods his chin with her nose to petal a warm smooch against his mouth and he pities a mewl panting ‘yeah —- yeah faster’ and ‘mhmm rub my balls uhmm j‐- just like that’ as he rocked his hips against her hand nibbling onto the sheeny skin of her exposed collarbone.

“Stop ..” He growls out pressing his bicep into mattress to lift himself up and skims tiny kisses all over her face when she whines a complain raking her palms from underneath his shirt, “But whyyyyy ....”

“Wanna cum inside you, love. Fill y’up nice and warm.” With a gentle push he presses her into pillows, hauling her leg around him —-- finger pads digging pudgy into her flesh as he lubes her to give her one of the best morning fuck.

[divinefireangel]

Pay Attention to Me

Optional SF9 bias x F! Reader smut.

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: Baby Blue! I'm so sorry this took so long 🥺 I tried my best so I hope you like it! 💙 ngl I kinda feel like I did it in a rush TwT

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 18+ and female readers (nothing specified with respect to appearance, etc of reader). There's, choking, spanking, hair pulling and unprotected sex. Do not do this until and unless you actually want kids. Lmk if I missed something!

Requested: Y E S by the oh so lovely @inseongsfoxybae !

Hey, babe! I'm here to request something 🤭

Can you write something like the boy and his gf was spooning while watching a movie, but then things get steamy and lead to couch sex, please?

Since you don't have a bias in SF9 yet, you can choose the member you think that better fits this plot.

Thank you in advance 💓 Love you ❤️

1048 words

"I can't believe you've never seen 'The Princess Bride'! "

"I am now! So you can't say that I haven't seen it at all. " He said.

Coming to lay behind me on the couch, nuzzling his face into my neck he pulls the thin blanket over our bodies.

"If you fall asleep on me I swear to god I will hit you a pan."

"I won't! Don't worry." Raising his hands up in defense he widened his eyes. Grinning he wraps his hands around me pulling me flush against his chest. Rolling my eyes atat his clingyness I press play, smiling as the movie began. It's about time my boyfriend saw my favorite movie.

'As you wish' I mouthed along with Westley. How nice is it to have a secret way to express love for each other. Blushing I look at him, his starry eyes staring at the screen ahead of us. I really am lucky to have him. Kissing his cheek, I turn my attention back to the movie.

The thing about comfort movies is that no matter how many times you see them, you are always surprised at every turn of event. Feeling him smile at my reactions, I cuddle further into him to hide myself. He only giggles and kisses my jaw, finding my actions cute. He rests his face in the crook of my neck.

"You smell nicer than usual" He remarks breathing in my scent.

"It's a new body butter. Now hush." I whisper to try and get him at watch the movie again. After not even a minutes passing he nuzzles his nose further into my neck.

Pulling my shirt collar to a side he places feather light kisses on my exposed skin, nibbling and biting on it. Gulping, I try my best to ignore his attempts to distract me from the movie. Dragging his lower lip up my skin where he left marks, he moves his hand under the blanket to the hem of my shirt. Moving his fingertips up and down my thigh, moving my shirt up till it bunches at my waist, he sucks my neck lightly. Secretly pressing my legs together, trying to move away from his grip and failing to, I silently gasp.

"Pay attention to me." Rasping in a whisper he moves his hand to part my legs. Fuck fuck fuck why did I not wear panties today. Lifting my leg over his thigh, he grazes his fingers across my pussy.

"Oh so you were paying attention to just me?" He says smirking, as he notices my wetness. Rolling my hips slowly against his I feel his *very* prominent bulge. Biting onto my shirt collar I can't help but close my eyes as he smoothly moves the juices from my entrance to my clit.

Closing my legs when his digits reach my clitoris, I trap his hand there, moaning at the pressure. Grunting he pulls his hand out. Pushing my upper leg further till it's bent at the knee, I help him pull his shorts down.

Pumping his cock a few times, he places the head at my entrance. Breathing heavily I lean back, letting him do whatever he wants to me. Leaving open mouthed kisses from my neck to mouth he glides himself into me. Swallowing my pleasure sounds he moves his dick in and out of me. Gasping as he grabs my boob over my shirt and twists my nipple, he starts to rub my sensitive bud.

Squealing I clench around his length, causing him to falter his movements with a groan. Removing his hand from me he gets up and on his knees. Removing his shirt he stops me from laying on my back.

"Pull your shirt up to your chin baby." Biting his lower lip at my naked breasts and peaked nips, he pushes into my entrance again, leaning down to capture my lips into his as his hand resumes it's position on my clit. Moving my bent leg around his hip, I allow him better access to my aching pussy.

"More" I moan closing me eyes, he quickens his pace, grinding himself into me, biting my still exposed collarbone. Crying out I clench my walls as the feeling of him filling me to the brim of my uterus. Spanking my ass he thursts roughly a few times, rocking my body across the couch.

Pulling out of me again he guides me on my hands and knees, making me rest my face on the armrest. Entering me the third time, he grabs my hips as hard as he drives his dick into me at an ungodly speed.

"Your ass is out of the world babygirl." He compliments spanking me again. Grabbing my hair in one hand, making a messy ponytail, he pulls me up till me back comes into contact with his naked chest. Drilling into me, I feel his pelvis hit my buttcheeks as he begins to rub my clit again, his lips finding my neck again. Feeling my hair come down from the makeshift ponytail, the airflow in my throat starts to become restricted.

Choking my throat he pulls my head back till it comes in contact with his shoulder, attaching his mouth to my mouth sloppily, increasing his pace on my clit. Gripping the hair at the back of his head, I try and meet his hips, gasping for air as the pleasure in my lower stomach starts to become overwhelming. Moaning I release on his cock, shaking mymy thighs as I see stars. Letting me fall forward on the couch, he pulls himself out, pumping hishis cock a few times he cums on my ass and my back.

Satisfactorily admiring his work, picking up his shirt from the floor, he cleans his cum off as we try to breathe normally again.

"Wow" I whine.

"Wow indeed babygirl" He agrees bringing his lips to mine as sweetly as ever.

Completely laying on my back, I gesture him to cuddle me by opening my arms for him. Smiling softly with warmth and love on his face, he lays his head on my chest, as we resume to watch the movie from the beginning. Halfway through thethe movie and petting his hair, feeling drowsy, I nap with my exhausted lover in my embrace.