#rp: how is the bird hunt going

[shimmerbeasts]

Hearing that this Swain guy had contacts in the Undercity, Jinx narrowed her eyes in mistrust. "Silco ain't gonna like this", she merely muttered under her breath. Papa already was absolutely vicious about the Chem-Barons when they tried to make deals with Pilties and often refused to make a deal with them on principle. Silco certainly was not going to trade one oppression for another. He rather bring everything down around himself first or scare the aggressor so much they would reconsider ever setting foot in the Undercity again. Probably without even batting his one good eye.

"The Doctor?!", Jinx blurted out as LeBlanc revealed the little detail that Singed out of all people had worked for Noxus once, "What did he do for the Noxian army? Like did they hire him? They must have! I cannot see that old skeleton do anything for you without a hefty payment."

She still did not really know how Silco could be tied towards Singed. The Doctor was not really part of the gang in the same ways, Sevika, Ran or Dustin were. He was an outside contact and one, Silco seemed to trust a lot in. It was hard to say whether what they had was a business transaction, a partnership of acquaintance or something else entirely. Singed was hard to decipher on his best days and that made Jinx hugely mistrustful of the doctor. She didn't like that she couldn't read him. Even Silco, who normally could read people extraordinarily well, had his occasional troubles with Singed.

Jinx gave a bashful smile at LeBlanc's words. She snickered, almost creating a bit of a snorting noise when doing so. After a quick, involuntary sneeze, Jinx said: "I do not see what is so special about this. Don't you have to pluck a chicken if you want to get to the meat? Or skin fur from animals if you want to craft leather?"

She drummed painted nails upon the desk and mused: "I never said it makes me uncomfortable. I am just concerned about what it might look like to you. Silco said you ain't from around here. And well, we do not really spar with one another. Zaun ain't Noxus, LeBlanc. Our fights are more territorial disputes or scruffles over who gets whatever loot, the other one nicked from Piltover. Not really big battle shenanigans."

"He wishes to learn more about Zaun, for reasons I still don't know. He does have some contacts around, but I suppose those aren't being as useful to his goals as he'd have hoped." There was no reason for LeBlanc to hide this information from Jinx. "I know at least one of Zaun's residents has worked for the Noxus' army before. A man named Singed."

At her description of what she liked to do with the birds, the pale woman laughed out loud. "Oh, how I wish I could see his face when you do that to his precious birds! It must be priceless!" She could be in multiple places at the same time, so surely she could arrange to be in Swain's office while Jinx played with his ravens.

"I apologize if it sounded like you were some circus attraction; that was not my intention. I'm used to seeing people fighting and sparring. One can learn a lot by observing others, like new techniques. But if that makes you uncomfortable, we can just forget about that."

[angeart]

:o are we allowed to ask about Mr Beak?? Because I have been dying to but I figured it was for Future Rambles so I've been holding back.

Especially because both you and Link drew Grian with his wings out, no cloak, and Grian actually using his wings for a smol hug in your bit.

-🎀

yes you're allowed! it is for future rambles, but we made a concession if you promise you'll still read the rambles as well when they come out! :D

mr beak gets acquired in vex arc, part titled "a night for living". let me take you through Never Before Seen basics! just a quick little rundown :3

grian and scar get accepted adopted into a vex commune! which is a pretty safe place considering that it's full of vexes who are seen as warriors. it's settled in the forest, in what used to be a hunting village. (it was taken over.)

now i won't say exactly how things go, but- there's definitely an adjustment period! especially since grian is an avian in a place filled with only vexes, and scar is... well, not a typical vex!

but they settle in. and they start to tentatively have some security. their own walls, and a bed! there's a LOT to say about the whole vex arc, and i can very easily be swayed, but i'll skip to mr beak. (under the cut because this is getting rambly <3 expect RP snippets too)

there's a big night at the vex commune, one they meticulously prepare for. make sure there's no hunters anywhere nearby, brew homemade alcohol, etc. they make a huge bonfire, set up various games (prizes are mostly more alcohol, lol. special bottles of types from rare fruits and stuff, with a strip of fabric/ribbon tied to them to mark them as the victory bottles) and just... go wild!

it's during this night when scar and grian challenge two other vexes (frens???? 👀) to a game of (drunk) archery. scar pretends he can barely hold a bow. it's very funny when he shoots a bulls eye, trust me.

scar kind of jokingly asks if there are other prizes - like big stuffed bears, for example. and once he wins, the best out of three shots, he again jokingly says he'll take the bear as his prize. and grian joins in, asking for the bear!

(mini rp bit!!)

Excitedly and triumphantly, Scar loops his arms around Grian as well, lower and more securely wound, and lifts, spinning him around like a loon just because he wants to and he can. “The man wants a bear!!” he announces to the world, boisterous and goofy.

anywayyy... yeah, no, the vexes don't have a stuffed bear. but there's an idea. and someone digs out a discarded plush from somewhere.

it's a chicken.

kane is meant to hand it over, but... he's very hesitant. and he wouldn't be if it was a couple of weeks ago, but! he's been learning! about avians and things that upset grian. about how sensitive he is about other birds or bird-like things.

uncharacteristically hesitant, he calls scar over first, trusting scar's judgement on these things much more than himself.

aaand. what if i throw more rp snippets at u? 👀👀👀👀 (1,7k words because my hand slipped— enjoy :D)

-

SCAR

Kane waits until he's sure Scar's body and wings block Grian's view, and then he tentatively unfurls his own wing, showing the worn plush toy in his arms: a pale brown chicken, a little clumpy, but soft-looking. Squishable. "We have... this," he presents, a bit flatly, waiting for reaction.

It’s unfortunate, really, because in any other circumstance Scar would not hesitate to give the awkward little chicken to Grian. It’s so adorably lumpy, and he wants to squeeze it immediately. 

But… 

“Let me see,” Scar says, taking it from Kane. He appreciates the hesitance now. Despite claiming victory during their previous dispute over insensitivity, Kane clearly cares to get this right, and it warms Scar’s heart to no end.

Kane keeps the doll hidden as he passes it over to Scar, who analyzes it carefully, squeezing at the center and feeling the material. It’s soft, not at all feathered, and the insides seem to be cotton, possibly with beads interspersed for weightiness. 

But it’s still a bird.

Scar looks to meet Kane’s gaze, both of them uncertain, but Scar sighs and offers a weak smile. “You’re a good man, Kane,” Scar declares, nodding appreciatively at him. 

Ultimately, it should be up to Grian if he wants this. Scar can look out for potential triggers, but it’s not his place to decide for him. 

Scar can’t protect him from everything. Shouldn’t either.

(Plus, it is cute. Scar hopes that fact overwrites any potential anxieties.)

Scar turns around, offering the plushie over to Grian with that same timid smile. “What do you think, G?”

-

GRIAN

nico's murmuring things to grian, praising his and scar's aim, wanting to know where they've learned to shoot like that. it distracts grian sufficiently, thrown off and glancing at the targets where someone was collecting their arrows now so they could keep playing.

"we... had a lot of practice," grian replies, unsure how to phrase it any better. to say that they didn't need to worry about running out of arrows—or lives—ever was something too bewildering to put out there. "it's just been a while," he adds, grimacing at where a vex was trying to climb a tree to reach the arrow grian shot first. 

nico laughs, amused but bright and kind. "well, you know. as long as you don't lose the arrows, you guys can come here and shoot at the targets anytime."

grian perks up at that, but before he can answer, scar's turning to him and offering something to him.

grian's gaze lands on the bird-like heap in scar's hands, and his head short-circuits.

bird.

it's a bird.

memories of [REDACTED] slam into him, and he swallows thickly, rebooting. 

a bird.

this world doesn't have birds. but here one is, silly-looking and soft, offered to grian to hold. (to cherish. to protect. to keep.)

with gaze solidly focused on the toy, grian hears himself try to joke. "i think that's not a bear."

kane huffs, although there's something tentatively relieved in the sound, possibly at the lack of a more outward freak out on grian's part. "i told you we don't have bears."

grian's only half-listening. his chest feels askew and tingly, wings semi flared out, but he's taking a step forward and reaching out his hands for the plushie.

-

SCAR

Scar is about to say they don’t have to take it. They could easily accept one of the prize bottles. He could even make a show of tying the decorative ribbon on one of Grian’s fingers as a silly romantic callback.

But Grian is reaching out and Scar doesn’t have it in his heart to deny him. He offers the toy to him gingerly, still nervous, but willing. 

“Not a bear, but… look at its little beard!” Scar tries, letting his index finger fiddle with the red tufts of fabric as he pulls away. “…do you like it?”

-

GRIAN

wordlessly, grian takes it, holds it out, feels its weight settle in his hands. his fingers squeeze lightly, testing it out, feeling its softness. (it's not made of feathers. not feathers.)

some tightly held knot in grian's chest unspools, and he finds himself laughing a little unsteadily at scar's silly gesture.

his hands flap the chicken's wings, and unthinkingly, grian's own wings mirror the motion. there's a part of grian's brain that's happy at this, already growing attached, and it's probably weird, for a toy to trigger instincts that whisper flock against the nape of his neck, but the affection and protectiveness rise up in him anyway.

he pulls the chicken tightly to his chest, his gaze flicking up, meeting first scar's eyes and then swivelling to kane's. "... i can keep this?" he asks, a bit shyly, even as his hold signals that he would not let go even if he was told no.

-

SCAR

Scar’s heart swells again at the sight of Grian flapping the doll’s little wings, and gosh it’s unfairly adorable when he does the same with his own wings. Scar grins, leaning back into Grian’s space as he turns to regard Kane. 

“We’re taking this,” Scar declares.

Kane scoffs, cheeks heating up as he takes mostly fake offense. “As if I’d take it back, come on!” And then he’s grinning as well, clearly satisfied that the prize went over well, all sourness from the competition completely faded away. “You won it fair and square, mister liar.”

“Sober liar,” Nico tacks on, earning a bark of laughter from his mate.

“Hey, I’m getting there, I’m getting there!” Scar insists, leaning down to reclaim his and Grian’s bottles. He hands Grian’s back to him with a bright smile. “…It’s precious.”

-

GRIAN

grian instantly slots himself next to scar as he returns to his side, still clutching the bird tightly. 

"mister sober liar," he repeats teasingly at scar, nudging him a little and giving him a big, bright grin.

no matter how the others want to spin it, the fact is that they did win, and scar did insist on a prize for grian. (and man, the way his hands were capable with the bow is hot. although it's not something grian'd admit out loud.) he's grateful for it, a bit of playful games and a reward at the end of it, presented with such care. 

with boundless affection, grian leans against him and presses his wing against scar's lower back, under his vex wings, in a little squeeze. hoping his thanks translates. 

he untangles one hand from the chicken only to reach for the bottle, and he lets it clink against scar's. "cheers, to our victory." 

nico's ushering them a little bit to the side, to make space for new contestants, while kane lifts his own drink, cheerfully joining in with drinking. 

"there's more games to play, if you want," nico remarks with a chuckle, then adds: "but no more non-bears to win."

grian glances at him. "what about yes-bears?"

kane sputters a laugh, almost choking on his drink.

nico offers a grin instead, with a small chuckle. "none of those either, i'm afraid."

"bottles, mostly," kane says all too happily. "but some games have donation piles and if you win, you can pick something someone else left behind." he shrugs a little, clearly much more interested in the drinks the vexes worked so hard to make. "mostly useless stuff. wood carvings, dull daggers, scraps of clothes, chipped mugs. things people found and don't have use for, or that they don't want anymore."

-

SCAR

“What you’re saying is we get to thrift shop for prizes?” Scar asks excitedly, wings fluttering before one slots over Grian’s head in a purposely goofy manner. “Whatcha say, G-man? More games? Want to see how red in the face Kane can get if he keeps losing?”

“Hey!” Kane shouts, grabbing at Scar to try to dig his fist into the top of his head playfully. Scar unfortunately allows it, not willing to give up his spot next to Grian and how his wing is tucked under him so tenderly. But he laughs at the abuse, clearly unbothered.

-

GRIAN

grian ducks a little at the wing over him, but then he straightens up, chirping and meeting it. he has his prize chicken in one hand, still pressed to his chest, and a bottle in the other, wing still slung across scar's lower back in a casual, if a little clingy way.

"more games!" he cheers, toothily looking over kane and nico. "so what's next, fellas? what do you want to be beaten at this time?"

nico's chuckling, lips curved in a smile, taking this for friendly jest, but kane's getting riled up. his tail swishes aggressively. "you can't thrift prizes if you don't win first," he accuses.

"what game?" grian presses. "what do you think you have a chance at?"

it's a cheeky jab, and grian's delighted as he sees it work. 

"sparring!" kane huffs out, clearly ready to tackle them until he can prove his dominance or something.

"or obstacle course," nico offers as a counter argument.

"sparring!" kane repeats, insistent, shooting his mate a glare. "we win at this one!" 

-

SCAR

Scar yawns exaggeratedly. “Drunk sparring? Sounds like a vex slapping fest to me.” He waves his hand with the bottle dismissively at that, eyeing Grian as he does. Then he takes a large sip of his drink and flares out his free wing. “What kind of obstacle course we talkin’?”

Both sound less fun than archery to Scar, but he has a feeling the obstacle course would be preferable to Grian. Sparring just sounds like an invitation to get hurt.

-

GRIAN

grian is honestly glad scar is steering this away from a fight competition, but kane deflates, looking like he was just betrayed. "you don't want to spar?" his ears flick, then he crosses his arms, upset. "it's 'coz you know you'd lose. you're just picking what you're secretly good at!"

"i dunno, you could've been better at it," grian brushes him off, referencing kane's archery skill in a way that makes kane sputter.

"the obstacle course," nico takes charge, starting to walk in a more solid direction, "has many things. some you get under, some you get over. gliding is allowed." he eyes grian. "outright flying might be considered as cheating."

grian gasps dramatically, his wing losing connection to scar only to flap in playful offense. "i'd never!" and honestly, it's hard to think of himself actively flying, so it's not exactly wrong. it's not just theatrics, but they make it easier to bear, to hide behind.

---

i was gonna stop earlier but figured maybe you'd like to see the banter :3 maybe you'd like to see the new characters and these dynamics. (they're all tipsy at this point and scar and grian have been living here for a while, just to be clear.)

other big things happen that night besides winning mr beak :3 just sayin'

vex arc is fun <33

[ch1meraa]

Very much a work in progress, but really happy with how this turned out. It was inspired by an rp I’m doing with a friend. Lena made Victor angry, he’s only just out of surgery after donating parts to save his Cybertronian partner’s life.

While he’s not one for lowering himself to hurt anyone weaker than himself, he still absolutely totalled his computer and some equipment in his lab. Here’s the rp excerpt below;

Enjoy~

Vic (C) me.

———

Lena looked washed out, and stressed as she stormed down to the med-bay, her heels echoing after like the frantic beating of a stricken bird’s wings. With her pen clutched in her fist, her jaw clenched, she felt her anger rising and she tried to imagine what was going to happen before it did. Victor would be lucky if he made it through the next half hour without getting a slap or *worse*.

When Lena got to the med-bay, she stormed the doors with the ferocity of a wild-cat, and her gaze fell immediately upon the ridiculous sight before her. Sky’s unmoving body exactly where it had lain for probably 10 days or so by now. Victor however, was nowhere to be seen. He’d been here, though. Lena closed in on the berth, like a wasp circling food. She saw the IV bags, various pain medications on the table nearby. Had he gone back to the lab? He better had. Lena scoffed to herself at the thought of him limping around in his half-dead state and it took the edge off of her frustration at not getting to yell at him while he was still in bed.

Lena didn’t hang around. She headed straight for the lab, convinced that he’d be there.

—-

Victor was not at the lab. He knew that’s where Lena would find him, and he knew that she’d find out what he’d done, sooner or later. As soon as he felt able enough, he’d gone to his room. Surprisingly, he didn’t feel as terrible as he’d expected, perhaps it was the intrinsic healing factor in his blood, or was it something else? He’d noticed that he felt unusual since he’d woken up, a strange mix of nervousness and nausea that came in waves. The pain wasn’t terrible, either. Vic wanted some proper rest and to avoid everyone for a while, he just didn’t want to be fussed and he didn’t feel like talking. He just wanted to get showered and shaved and feel less like the greasy mess he was. Every now and then, he’d move too quickly and feel a weird twinge deep in his chest, or feel his heart pound for seemingly no reason. It wasn’t scary, but it did make him feel anxious. A nice shave seemed to take the edge off, but it didn’t quieten the noise in his head. He tried not to think about Sky, because it was starting to really get to him. The weight of failure was crushing. What if the surgery had just made her condition worse? What if she died? His hands were shaking, and he swore as the razor slipped, a thin streak of purple blood just under his jaw. The pain was sweet, though. It instantly took his mind off of Sky.

Feeling better now that he was clean, Vic went to roll a smoke and get a coffee. He heard his phone ping several times, heard it buzz as he ignored the calls. Fuck Lena. He would deal with her when he felt like it. As time was wearing on, and he was losing the will to live, he was starting to become increasingly despondent. He didn’t care about his job anymore. What was the point of living if only to be used, abused and always chasing forgiveness? He hadn’t seen the Terrans, or Alex, in months. Marc and May’s jobs seemed as precarious as Vic’s life was here, at any moment the rug might be pulled from under them all. He wondered, did they too begrudge him? Was he a burden on them, like he was on everyone else who got close to him? He contemplated it all in absolute silence. Whilst he smoked, he found himself hunting down old pictures of himself. He only had a few. Some pics of him as a kid, and as a young adult. He wore a smile in every photo. There were none of him as an adult, aside from a single military photo - but he blended in, along with other men whose faces all wore the same hard expression. Many of them were dead now. Some of them had been his close friends. He hated how wasted his best years had been, despite his intellect and potential. He really hadn’t done anything he’d wanted to do, except play the part because it was expected of him. He did it more to hide the fact he was afraid. How could he be the hero he’d always wanted to be seen as, if he was always scared? He always felt out of his depth in the military, like a bird swept out to sea. He was just along for the ride.

He threw the photos down like unwanted post, like they didn’t matter. He wasn’t that man anymore. He knew he’d have to head to the lab soon, so he grabbed his phone, seeing a barrage of texts from Marc and May. He sent a text to their chat group, to let them know he was on his way.

> Vic. Lena’s here and she’s waiting for you. We can’t get rid of her. Are you alright???

> I’m fine. Needed some space. I’m on my way now.

—-

He was barely a day out of cardiac surgery and he was already having to prepare for battle. Grabbing his phone, keys and his baccy tin, he headed down to the lab, yawning and definitely in no rush. He was so bored of the control device project. He was tired of repeatedly asking for specimens, and Lena’s demand for him to pick up the pace. Truth be told, he had *no* intention of delivering on his promise. He’d make the device, but he wasn’t going to make it work like she wanted. Then there was Shockwave hanging around, his intentions were completely unclear. And Megatron still wanted to see him. As much as it pained him to imagine how *that* was going to go, he was curious as to what he’d learn. Or did Megatron simply want revenge?

Vic had been miles away in his mind, and he walked into the lab having almost forgotten the chaos that awaited him. Almost as soon as he stepped around the door, Lena flew over to him, having to crane her neck up at him as he shot an equally scathing glance down at her.

“Been hiding have you, Meridian!? Figures. You know *exactly* how badly you’ve fucked up. Show me what you’ve done. I need to make a note of the damage.”

Victor had walked right past her, beelining for his desk in the hopes she’d just leave him alone if he made himself look busy. He felt her grab his flesh arm, nails digging in as she tried to stop him. She was disgusted at herself for having to even touch him, but the shock of it had the desired effect. She looked at the stapled up wound, callously photographing it with her phone without his permission and as quickly as possible. She looked absolutely furious. Her usually perfectly sleek, scooped back hairstyle now looked so full of static, it was as though someone had plugged her in to the national grid. She stared up at Victor like a sparrowhawk about to pounce on prey. Her lips quivered from the anticipation of scolding him, and she tried not to run over herself with her own words, as the venom that ensued with them was overwhelming. Marc and May watched from nearby, powerlessly.

“Nothing to say, Victor? No sarcastic little quip? no smarmy anecdotes today, then?”

Victor remained calm, sitting at his computer as he pulled up the files. He simply didn’t have the energy to fight today. He took the barrage of insults and provocation, and felt her lean close, her words and the stale alcoholic fume of her breath making him move as far from her as he could.

“I can’t wait to see the Quintessons pull your disgusting corpse out of that armour, like a cooked snail. You know they’ll be angry, Victor, at what you’ve done. Imagine trying to save your loved one and simultaneously condemning her. Hah! Only a man like you could pull that off. Stop trying to play hero, it just doesn’t suit you - You hurt everyone who cares about you, and you don’t even notice, do you? You don’t even care-“

That was it. That was all Vic could take. In a very rare show of sudden and extreme rage, Vic got up, launched the chair across the lab, taking out several lights from the vixen e he’d thrown it with. He then proceeded to utterly obliterate his computer and keyboard, with his fists and claws. Lena moved back so quickly that she tripped over and scrambled back as fast as she could, to get away from him. The whole thing was over in seconds, but the speed, strength and ferocity of his outburst was terrifying. He’d ripped out the top portion of his stitches, and a violet streak of warm blood began to run down his abdomen. His expression was hard, jaw set and clenched. He was panting through gritted teeth and said absolutely nothing, but the sound of his voice huskily growling in his throat was animal, tiger-like. Lena looked horrified. She actually looked *scared*. There was blood dripping off his clenched fists.

Lena shakily got to her feet after just staring up at him for a few moments, and she too had no more words. He looked like a cornered wild animal, completely tense, veins standing up and his tail was lashing and flicking behind him. It was so terrifying to see him like that that even Marc was wary and he stood in front of May protectively, as a precaution. They watched Lena trying to salvage her composure, watching the tense stare down as Lena backed down, and swiftly left. The door to the lab slammed as she left, pride chipped. Shockwave watched silently from the other side of the lab, Marc cautiously approached. The last time he’d seen Vic look that wild, people had died. He could see the adrenaline wearing off though, as Vic began to sag forwards, feeling the pain now. Marc grabbed a first aid kit and went to him, trying to hide his fear.

“….It’s ok, Vic. She’d gone now. C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Vic calmed down quickly, following tentatively where Marc lead. When he saw May’s expression, he felt terrible for her.

“May, sorry you had to see that. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

[rpking99]

Girlfriend Experiance RP's

RP's on this list are ones where your muse and the one you are interacting with have a relationship before the Rp beginins. Where you are dating and get to have some fun.

How each RP will be presented will be as followed: Name of RP (Franchise, Character)

COMICS

The Hunted (Marvel, She-Venom)

Not So Invisible Love (Marvel, Sue Storm)

Say My Name (Marvel, Madelyn Pryor/Goblin Queen)

Workout Hangout (Marvel, Wolverine/Laura Kinney)

Best She Is At What She Does (Marvel, Wolverine/Laura Kinney)

Batwoman Is Your BatBabe (DC, Batwoman/Kate Kane)

The One And Only Birds of Prey (DC, Batgirl & Huntress & Black Canary)

Blackfire's Bae (DC, Blackfire)

In Brightest Day, In Needy Night (DC, Green Lanter/Jessica Cruz)

Not So Killer Frost (DC, Killer Frost)

ANIME

Kiryuin Submits (Kill La Kill, Satsuki Kiriyuin)

Sister Vs Sister (Kill La Kill, Ryuko Matoi & Satsuki Kiriyuin)

Get Away With Thorn Princess (SpyXFamily, Yor)

Forger Forever (SpyXFamily, Anya Forger (Aged Up))

18+ Pampering (Dragon Ball Z, Android 18)

Ranamon's Number 1 Fan (Digimon, Rana/Ranamon)

Riding Romance Acceleration (Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds, Aki Izayoi)

Alone At Last With Scanty (Panty And Stocking With Garterbelt, Scanty Demon)

Instance Domination (SSSS//Dynazenon, Mujina)

CARTOONS

Cosplay Cowabunga (TMNT, April O'Neil)

After The Show (Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Jessica Rabbit)

Wanna Ride? (Transformers Prime, Arcee)

New High Score (Kim Possible, Shego)

Help Zip Me Up? (Kim Possible, Shego)

Date With Daphne (Scooby Doo, Daphne)

They Cast A Spell On You (Scooby Doo, Hex Girls)

Bratty WolfGirl GF (Helluva Boss, Loona)

Third At The Wedding (Hazbin Hotel, Charlie & Vaggie)

WhiteRose Swap Chaos (RWBY, Weiss Schnee & Ruby Rose)

All In: Betting It All, Loosing It All (RWBY, Team RWBY (Ruby Rose & Weiss Schnee & Blake Belladonna & Yang Xiao-Long))

GAMES

Distracting Samus (Metroid, Samus Aran)

Failed Salvation (Kingdom Hearts, Aqua)

Edenian Consort (Mortal Kombat, Kitanna)

Princess Pride's Partner (Megaman Battle Network, Princess Pride)

New First Wedding (NiER, Unit 2B)

Star's Party (Lolipop Chainsaw, Juliet Starling)

Quarian Love (Mass Effect, Tali)

Strain of Combat (Street Fighter, Chun-Li)

High-Cut Try Out (Persona 4, Chie Satonaka)

Detective Prince's Problems (Persona 4, Naoto Shirogane)

Distract The Gamer (Persona 5, Oracle/Futaba Sakurai)

Ms Okumara Getting Heated (Persona 5, Noir/Haru Okumara)

TOKU

Secret Revealed (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Pink Ranger/Kimberly Hart)

Ranger Girlfriends (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Pink Ranger/Kimberly & Yellow Ranger/Trini)

Visiting Violet Marine Maintinence (Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger, KyoryuViolet/Yayoi Ulshade)

The Exhausted Soverign (Ohsama Sentai KingOhger, Papillon Ohger/Rita Kaniska)

AIMS For the Right Spot (Kamen Rider 01, Kamen Rider Valkyrie/Yua Yaiba)

Star Of The Star Of The Stars Of Her Eyes (Kamen Rider Geats, Kamen Rider Geats/Magical Girl Geats/Ace Ukiyo)

Perks Of A Superheroine Girlfriend (Kamen Rider Geats, Kamen Rider Na-Go/Neon Kurashima)

MISC

Marriage To The Dark Elf Queen (Kuro Inu, Olga Discorida)

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

Bioshock!Qrow.

For context, I run a discord rp server dedicated to the world building behind the setting of the first two Bioshock games, Rapture, and for those who haven't played the games, Rapture is an underwater city.

Following Head canons/server canons are:

-Qrow is a luke warm christian. He's a man of god, though he doesn't heed everything in the bible, in fact he finds the book rather ridiculous and that a man made scripture is not an accurate representation of god's will. Swearing like a sailor, partaking in ilicite substances, and his swinger tendencies, along with a career riddled in assination and other crimes during his time in the mafia, Qrow is far from the ideal christian, but he is a man of righteousness and and he will always stand by what he believes in and fight for what he believes is right.

-Qrow is a mercenary for hire, though most of his jobs tend to be bounty hunting. As a result of this as well as his past as a ruthless killer for the mafia, Qrow is a well known and greatly feared man.

-He's a bisexual man with polyamours tendacies.

-In the image above, Qrow is slowly disintigrating into a flock of birds, that isn't a cool, edgy artistic choice. When I made this bioshock version of Qrow, my adaptation of Qrow's ability involved a plasmid based on the Bioshock Infinite's Vigor called Murder Of Crows, which allows the player to summon a flock(murder) of crows. Qrow's plasmid is unique from the vigor when it comes to how the birds are summoned about. Similar to his shape shifting abilities in RWBY how Qrow can turn into a single crow, this plasmid allows him to split his body up into a murder of crows ranging up to 5-8 birds depending on the seasons. Additionally, the more of his body he sacrifices to the crow(s), the more durable, violent, and destructive they are, as well as how strong his conciousness is instilled into them. Additionally the potentcy of his sacrifice is split between birds, so if he were to fully transform into a single bird, full body, it would cause him to have an insatiable blood lust, go berzerk, and be very tough to take out for a crow, and that's not accounting for evasive abilities that come with being a bird of flight. However there are flaws to this plasmid, if a crow is killed in combat, it reflects back onto Qrow and causes him physical harm. The severity of his injuries are dictated by how many crows are killed, and how much of his body is sacrificed to the crows. If Qrow inserts full body into the murder/crow, and all birds or the single bird is killed, Qrow will die. Safe to say, he has to be strategic about how he uses this plasmid.

Backstory: TW of suicide, abuse, gore, and torture.

-Was born in rapture, He was raised up to the age of 12 in a strict, Christian house hold. That came to an end abruptly and violently when his homophobic father found out that he was gay (Obviously being 12, he didn't fully understand what it meant to be gay, he thought it just meant that he liked boys, not accounting that he like boys and girls.) and as result of this being physically assaulted. This caused his mother to step in, and in a revelation, his father learned that he was being used as a cover-up for his lesbian wife, and as a result of this revelation, his father grabbed a revolver and shot his mother, got Raven in the arm as the two tried to flee, and ended up taking his own life out of grief. Raven and Qrow barely escaped with their own lives.

-The twins were found by the head of the local mafia of Rapture and their soon to be adoptive father. He raised the twins and trained them to kill. They would later on be the body guards for the children of two well regarded henchmen to the head of the mafia. Those children are Summer and Tai Yang.

-A few years later, the twins are all grow up long with the mafia children they protected, and they're all good friends. Eventually Tai and Raven get together. A drunken accident leads to Yang being born. Raven, not ready to be a mother, ends up taking on a bulk of head hunting work. Her absense leads to Tai finding solace in Summer. The two get married and bring Ruby into the world. Unlike his sister, Qrow is present for both girls, and is a rolemodel and parental figure to both of them.

-three years later, Raven is asked to escort Summer and Tai to a formal party being thrown by a major financial supporter of their mafia group. Qrow stays with the kids, and the parents are out enjoying themselves. The party ends up under attack by a rival gang, and by the end of it, only Tai makes it out. Raven is never found, and Summer goes missing as well, only turning up 3 weeks later in pieces, likely murdered by the rivals. Raven is still never found.

-Qrow and Tai take up the role of raising the girls together, both of them dealing with the grief of their missing loved ones.

-Yang is 17, and Ruby is 15 when the family of four are attacked by a group of highly trained mercenaries of which is lead by the once missing Raven. The four are handed over to a scientist in return for Raven getting a handsome sum of money. studying the affects of ADAM and plasmids. The four were experimented on.

-By the end of it, although having odd powers, Tai and and Qrow are the only ones to come out of it unscaved. Qrow manages to break free, using a rifle the scientis kept on hand to kill him, and free Tai of his imprisonment. The two men find Ruby and Yang. the girls aren't fairing well, having fallen into a zombie like state. They're morbidly disfigured by the experimentation, and are in great pain.

-Realizing the girls have no quality of life to look forward to, Qrow opts to do the most painful thing he could ever do, and that's to put the two girls out of their misery, but Tai fights him back, struggling with him for the gun, only when failing rushes over to the girls, sheilding them with his body.

-As Qrow tries to explain the gravity of the girls' situation to Tai and how it's the right thing to do or else they would suffer. This ends up not working. Instead the girls turn savage, and they end up tearing into Tai, ripping out his throat and intestines. Tai ends up dead. Seeing what happened to Tai as a result of letting the girls live, Qrow makes the painful decision to kill both of the girls.

-The after math of this event lead to Qrow's alcohol addiction. There was a short period of time in Qrow's grief where he attempted to track down Raven and to exact vengance for her betrayal, before finally realizing his attempts were futile, and eventually settling down and doing primarily bounty hunting for a living.

As for Raven? She's somewhere. No one knows what happened to her after that night. All that is known is that she was there when Summer was captured, and when she couldn't save her, she turned tail and ran out of fear of what would happen to her as a result. She only came back when she was in need of money, and when asking Tai for money proved futile, she resorted to more extreme measures. The selling of her own family to a less than ethical scientist.

Obviously this isn't very well written and there's a lot of details left out, but this isn't made to be a super detailed backstory it's a summary.

So this is Qrow if he were adapted to the Bioshock universe. Feel free to ask questions.

Additional Headcanons I forgot about when initially writing this:

-Qrow's tattoo is a memorial piece for his fallen loved ones. As of now, it consists of Yang, Tai, Ruby, and Summer, but Qrow does intend to extend the piece to include imagery that represents his mother.

[crazyexdirkfriend]

What's the behind the scenes for shag etc? 👀 (also the icon on your blog theme is so cute...)

ty ty! it's from chapter 2 of two short hours etc. in case anyone didn't see it. okay this might get long so read more time

I have so many behind the scenes for that. Firstly: the playlist. this is what I made because my huge dirkjake playlist isn't thematically consistent. but to elaborate on the Lore of my choices:

dirt-emma blackery is actually the song that gave me the idea for the fic, and then down for the count-bowling for soup played afterwards. the key being snarky bits like "then you came on twitter saying i'm bitter, honey have you looked in the mirror" "how far down will you go on me, ONLINE" "guess things go sour after they pass their sell-by-date"

dead girl walking (reprise) was initially on my playlist for calvariæ and strip away my conscience (FIFTY SHADES OF MORALLY GREEEY) was on my two short hours etc. playlist, but both made the migration over thematically

someone gets hurt is solely on this for POOOOR LITTLE ME ALL TRAPPED IN THIS FABULOUS SHOOOOW. jake in a golden bird cage of his own making.

the bit where jake walks out on stage to endorse karkat with the back light is based on the music video for taylor swift's "i bet you think about me" when she...well comes out with a back light to "the voice is so loud, saying 'why did you let her go?'" it's very revenge dress moment for jake here. rip princess diana, she would have loved my fanfiction where dirk and jake hunt each other for sport.

i'm on it by the cast of nashville is on this because "the only over i'll be is over your shoulder" is why i have jake make those stupid billboards to haunt dirk with.

god is a freak is on this. but dirk is god in this scenario. WEIRD YOU'RE ACTING LIKE MY BOYFRIEND :///

Some other behind the scenes lore, like deleted scenes: I was supposed to rehash the scene where Roxy (and Jake) comes out as NB but it didn't fit in the end. Here's the excerpt I did write

There was also supposed to be a scene where Jake sent Dirk this meme but I forgot to put it in. I instead complained on Twitter about forgetting to put it in and then my third level lecturer SENT ME MY OWN TWEET and then offered me work. I am still haunted by this fact. I have no idea why this happened. Deep deep lore. Here's the image btw

This scene was also supposed to be in it but I had no idea where to go with it. Raccoon was supposed to be a series regular.

This note on the final conflict scene is the only time I used the term "emotionally devastate." The fic was unnamed until literally 3 days before its release bc I couldn't think of anything other than "the blood between us is horrendous but in a vacillating manner as opposed to a xenophobic one- (Troll Taylor's Version)" which was way too long considering no one ever types the full name of shag emotionally devastate etc. anyway lmao

The billboards and the bloat advertising on the dating apps are things I've had Jake do before in RP, both deliberately and accidentally. I find it so infinitely funny to think about the idea of Jake believing so hard that Dirk would never love anyone other than him that he (hope powers) makes it functionally impossible for Dirk to move on. Dirk looks for him in nothing and finds him there anyway. Buys a drink at a bar and Skaianet sponsors Orange Crush now. Is on a date with some guy who is like "hold on, you're jake english's ex? you broke up with jake english? sorry I could never date anyone stupid enough to let jake english go" (shoving breadsticks in purse). I think Jake would also set up Tinder so he pops up every three swipes but when Dirk swipes right on him eventually he just gets a Skaianet helpdesk bot

Other behind the scenes hmm. I spent the vast majority of 8-10 weeks not writing this and 4 weeks actually writing the bulk of it, but most of the time was spent hand wringing on discord because I was convinced that this fic would not be received well so I'm actually hugely pleasantly surprised that people have liked it!

[krovscastlerpg]

It’s Ask Tuesday! To participate, just reblog this post and remember to send asks to the other players participating!

Halloween Asks

Bat: If you could transform into any kind of animal, what animal would you be?

Black Cat: Are you superstitious? If so, what are you superstitious about?

Broomstick: If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be?

Candy Corn: What food disgusts you the most?

Cauldron: What is your favorite thing to cook?

Cobwebs: One place you would never want to get lost in in the dark?

Coffin: Are you claustrophobic?

Demon: What is your worst flaw?

Eerie: One thing that always creeps you out?

Fright: What is your biggest fear?

Ghost: If you could be reincarnated, would you come back as another human or an animal. If an animal, what kind?

Gravestone: Ideal way you'd like to die?

Haunted House: If you could be roommates with anyone of your choice, who would you pick?

Hocus Pocus: What is the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?

Howl: Your favorite kind of dog?

Jack-o'-lantern: Do you have any scars? If so, how many?

Monster: What is your favorite scary movie to watch in the dark?

Mummy: Would you rather be buried or cremated when you die?

Potion: What is your favorite thing to drink? Alcoholic and non alcoholic?

Pumpkin: What is your favorite food around the holidays?

Scream: Easiest way to scare you?

Skeleton: Tell me one of your biggest secrets?

Spooky: What was your last nightmare about?

Trick or Treat: Tell me about the greatest prank you've ever pulled?

Vampire: Which one are you? Early bird or night owl?

Witch: If could have the power to cast any kind of spell, what kind of spell would you cast?

Zombie: What is one food you always overeat?

halloween/fall rp prompts!

send 🎃 for our musics to go pick/carve pumpkins together

send 🎈 for our muses to go to a halloween party together

send 👾 to try and scare my muse with a mask (or however else the mun wishes)

send 👻 to invite my muse into a haunted house (muns can decide whether the haunted house is fake or real)

send 🃏 for our muses to play a prank on someone else (throw toilet paper over their house, etc)

send ♡ to cuddle up with my muse (for warmth, obviously)

send 🎩 for our muses to go costume shopping together

send ✄ for my muse to show the costume they picked for your muse

send ☕ to go out for something pumpkin-spice-flavored with my muse

send 🍰 to make pumpkin pie with my muse (or any other “fall-themed” food)

send 📀 to watch scary movies with my muse

send 😈 to invite my muse to play with an ouija board with your muse

send 🍭 to invite my muse out trick-or-treating

send 👽 to invite my muse out cryptid-hunting

send ☔ to get caught in the rain with my muse

send 🍁 to invite my muse to play in some leaves

send 🙀 to tell spooky stories with my muse

send 👕 to offer my muse your jacket on a chilly day

send 🌚 to decorate the house for halloween with my muse

send 🚫 to invite my muse to explore an area that’s rumored to be haunted (cemetery, etc)

halloween pick-up line sentence starters.

taken from various places on the internet because who doesn’t wanna flirt with a ghost? no one, that’s who.

❝  I can’t find a costume for Halloween, so can I just go as your boyfriend?  ❞

❝  You’re the most boo-tiful ghost I’ve seen all night!  ❞

❝  You look so good, you’re making my crotch rise from the dead.   ❞

❝  If I were a zombie, I’d eat you first.  ❞

❝  You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my nightmares all night!  ❞

❝  You must be a ghost, because you’ve been haunting my dreams.  ❞

❝  Are you being a ghost for Halloween, or are you just my boo?  ❞

❝  You are dead sexy. Literally.  ❞

❝  That skeleton over there said he’d get your number for me, but he didn’t have the guts, so here I am.  ❞

❝  Hello there, boo-tiful!  ❞

❝  You wanna take a ride on my broomstick?  ❞

❝  Mmm baby! You’re decomposing in ALL the right places!  ❞

❝  You must love Halloween! You don’t need to change to dress up as an angel.  ❞

❝  I hear this house is haunted, we better stick together.  ❞

❝  What’s a nice ghoul like you doing in a crypt like this?  ❞

❝  All these ghosts and I still don’t have a boo.  ❞

❝  Want to find out what I turn into at midnight?  ❞

❝  If you were a jack-o’-lantern, I’d totally light your candle.  ❞

❝  I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.  ❞

❝  I don’t know what the trick is, but you certainly are a treat.  ❞

❝  Your costume looks complicated. Need help taking it off?  ❞

Ask meme credits: x x (edited slightly to fit the group) x

[noonmutter]

Hellhound: Hellraisers Pt. 2

DWC August 2022 Day 2: Forever/Displaced

The following is a modified chatlog of the RP between myself, Ranek, and Caythaes to retrieve the final portion of Terry’s split soul. The first had fallen into the Maw, and at the insistence of Eonar the Life-binder, had been rescued first as its situation had been far more dire. Now, they had to fetch the remaining one from Revendreth, where reports of it wreaking merry havoc in the Ember Ward had spread far and wide. Once Cay had made the full details of the problem known to the Accuser, they were provided with supplies and a plan: find the beast, subdue it (ideally without killing it), and wait for her to find his sinstone. Though it was a forged one, it would hopefully still serve its intended purpose once read aloud.

There was rather a lot of bickering discussion at Sinfall over the best way to handle a worgen that was described as “big, fast, angry (rabid?), spits Light sometimes, eats Light sometimes, seems fixated on Venthyr for now, ignores anything physical that’s less than a building falling on it.” Once they’d decided (independently of one another) who would be the sacrificial lamb for the beast, they set off to hunt him down.

Also, I dunno how many other people do it, but in case it’s confusing, the house rule ‘round these parts is that Thalassian = Spanish and Shalassian = French. It’s easier than trying to dredge up what fragments of each language I can find and making stuff up in the moment!

And yes I’m going to keep up the Hellraiser title references as long as I can. Fight me.

The attendant at Sinfall was apparently well-informed, or at least, not so poorly informed that they got things backward. It didn’t take the Cay and Ranek very long at all to start seeing signs of the recent fighting on the ground once they got far enough from Sinfall proper: trees with the tops sheared off, scattered burnt or burning bodies in wildly varying conditions; if either of them had been familiar enough with the Ember Ward to notice it, they'd have recognized several of the ruins had been ruined even further, smashed into and through. The airborne phoenix easily made out an alarming number of what looked like laser burns in the cracked dirt and in the various piles of rubble they passed over, and Ranek passed through.

Ranek, in particular, noticed there was precious little movement to be spotted on the way to the Scorched Crypt, and absolutely none once he was within sight of the wall of the first terrace. Even in the Ember Ward, there was the occasional scuttling of hardy insects or emaciated birds, but here? Nothing at all.

He kept his Worgen snout down, keeping track of scents to filter and catalogue, though there were precious few to be found in the dirt. As they got closer and closer, the red flags came in waves; no signs of life, no sounds even by the standards of a crypt. At least this was a good sign for hunting a powerful predator.

Cay couldn’t help but be impressed by the damage from their bird’s-eye view. They didn’t know you could make the Ember Ward any worse, but the rampaging beast had done it.

Their feathers itched, and the closer they got to the crypt, the less it felt like itching than a somewhat insistent pull. Magnets under the skin close to magnets outside, but the polarities didn't quite agree, but they still wanted to be near one another, and GOD, that's uncomfortable...

The crypt should have been crawling with condemned Venthyr and feral souls seeking shelter from the oppression of the Light. Where was everyone?

"Good news, Ranek! If- if Terry's feeling anything like- like what I'm currently experiencing, n-neither of us will need to get hurt. F-follow me, I- I know exactly how to find him."

Ranek didn’t look directly up at Cay as he advanced, the sheer destruction blowing his mind. This was something far more dangerous than he’d expected, even with the briefing they’d been given. He simply nodded, gesturing that he would follow.

The scene within the walls of the courtyard wasn't much more comforting. The silence for the pair was almost as brutal as the heat for the condemned, the lack of movement in the air leaving them with the discomforting feeling that time had stopped. Pits and gouges were everywhere, torn into the dead grass and cracked dirt, easy to trip over and occasionally as long as Ranek's shoulders were wide. Many of them had pale, yellowish puddles at the bottom of them, not unlike muddy water in carriage tracks. Except for the lack of horseshit (or anything else, really) in the smell of it, kinda made a Gilnean lad think of home.

Thinking about it... the lack of smell and the lack of movement was one thing, that was starting to become normal pretty fast. But now, there was a lack of bodies, too. Plenty of wreckage to be found, but no... well, pieces. Ranek found a scrap of tattered cloth hanging from a tree branch after a minute of dedicated searching, but nothing more substantial than that. He gently tugged the scrap down, inhaling the scent–finally, a SCENT, if only a little bit of one–to get a proper clue to begin searching for their target.

To Cay, up in the air? Something moved. Somewhere. They weren’t sure what or where but something definitely moved. Right? Maybe it was just Ranek. Except… Ranek was over there, and the movement had been over here, and– Something moved again. What. They let out an anxious keen and shifted their flight, spiraling upwards in hopes of getting a better view of the situation, looking for more movement or anything that wasn't Ranek. "I saw –something, be alert."

Ranek’s head snapped around as Cay spoke. He strained his ears to find some sort of sound to focus on.

As they both shifted their focus, they saw a shift in the ground, though it was hard to tell what it was. A small animal? An errant breeze? No bodies to spot, though, nothing small scurrying about, and certainly nothing big. Maybe something invisible? No, there were no footfalls, either; Ranek would have heard them, or at least seen the prints forming in the dirt.

What had at first seemed like spatters and puddles of dirty water revealed itself to be something else entirely, shifting and roiling in the various places where it lay until it trickled down walls, slid across the bumpy dirt, and slithered through dead grass. From above, Cay could clearly see that all the individual puddles of fluid were all moving toward a single point, steadily growing brighter and brighter as they converged on Ranek.

Ranek, of course, could see an awful lot of creepy brownish-gold shit snaking toward him at high speeds... just not all of it. His ears swiveled at the sounds of the moving liquid, too late to see them begin to pool in his general direction. He was looking for a more solid target, a humanoid shape instead of flowing liquid.

"Anar'alah, is he water?" Caythaes immediately shifted back to elf mode in a burst of flames, slowing their descent the magical way and throwing a bubble as soon as they were close enough to Ranek to do it. The bubble startled the Worgen, causing him to erupt in growling and fighting against it before seeing the puddles and scrambling backward instead. SPLAP! Several of the "puddles" chose that moment to lunge up toward Ranek only to hit the shield with a wet, sticky smack and cling on.

A few more reached their destination before he was done fighting against his shield, and Ranek could see them joining together as they met. Other puddles found him faster due to his frantic scrambling, approaching him from all directions, but they didn't seem to be quite able to accomplish much besides obscuring his view. Yet.

Cay, from the outside, could see the unsettling horror show unfolding, though thankfully, their bubble seemed to be holding. Slowfalling gave them a few seconds not only to stare at Ranek in utter dismay, but also to try and figure out their next move. Unfortunately, the instant their feet touched the ground, several blobs veered off. Beelining straight for them, they sprang up and off the ground once they got within arm's length, aiming for the face!

Caythaes threw up a bubble with a squeal of terror as the blobs launched. Well, when all you have is a fire… They did not want to blast things with fire so close to their face, but that was just what they were going to have to do. Squeezing their eyes shut, Caythaes turned their face away as they threw out their hand, sending a blast of fire exploding from their palm.

Ranek, at a loss for other options, rushed toward Cay to at least try and stand back to back with them. The large mass on Ranek's bubble eagerly clung along for the ride, stretching out with unsettling, stringy tendrils toward the one forming on Cay as Ranek brought them closer together. Right about that time... his bubble began to sizzle audibly, and cracks spiderwebbed across the magical barrier. He wasn’t sure what would happen once the shields fell off, but it probably wasn’t good.

Fire near the face was nobody's favorite, at least not when they're in their right mind, but no one can say it doesn't get results. The water, or liquid Light, or whatever the hell it was recoiled from the blasts, finally relenting with a gurgling squeal not unlike Cay's own voice a moment ago. Just. You know. Wetter.

Peeling itself from Cay's bubble, the mass hit the ground with another dull splat and began slithering away. Seeing the gooey sludge slither down their shield filled Cay with a primal sort of revulsion, and they cupped a hand over their mouth as they dry heaved. For all the horrible scenarios they came up with while getting ready for this fight, this was so much worse. What the fuck did they even do?

Well, stupid ideas worked the last time, so Caythaes swiped a hand through the air and pulled back, Yoinking Ranek the rest of the way to join them. They hoped that if they got all the blobs together, it'd form an easier target to fight.

Ranek’s arms flailed for purchase as he was Yoinked. "FUCKING FEL, CUT IT OUT!" This was vastly out of control, and he was at a loss for what to do, and he hated it. He growled, losing his footing and rolling to a stop. He jumped almost immediately back to his feet but stayed put once he saw the slime on the move.

"Sorry!" Caythaes squeaked, reaching out a hand to steady Ranek as he landed and cringing back as slime flew everywhere. Anar'alah Belore, they wished they hadn't had so many teacakes before this.

The squelching horror seemed to be mocking Ranek, throwing his words back at him in squishing, burbling pops and hisses for a moment as it impacted upon itself with Cay's help. Ever played with slime as a kid? Put two big hunks of it in your hands and clap, then peel them apart? It was like that, but with speech. And then it was just like that: the mass mashed into itself with an almost gleeful fervor, rolling and surging across the ground in a cacophony of wet, semi-organic noises.

Rolling, surging... and growing. That... that was a lot of goo. There was more coming down from the main crypt up the hill, too; it seemed like it just took a while for it to get down to this level. Thankfully, none of it was paying attention to Cay’s bubbles anymore, though Ranek had much too close a call. As the last dregs of his gooey assailant loosed from the magical barrier, it failed, fizzling out as the goo plopped onto his boot and burned a hole straight through it before letting go.

A string of curses came from the Gilnean, enough to peel paint off a whorehouse as his boot was partially melted, the protective cover gone from the top of his right foot, including fur and some flesh. It was a unique searing pain that made him bite down but not howl, only angering the Worgen.

"Th-that definitely worked, though. We- oh-" they look down at Ranek's boot, their ears drooping sadly. "I- I think we just have to, uh. M-make sure we don't touch any of that."

"No shit, but how will weapons work if it burns that hot.. or melts. Either way, I am going to have to be a lot more careful than you."

While they watched, trying to keep their stomachs from turning themselves inside out--would the result look like the mass in front of them?--and trying not to think about their partially melted tootsies, the slimy blob began to form itself into something more solid. Or at least more solid-looking; who knew? Eventually, limbs formed, and a humanoid torso at the joining of them, enormous and barrel-chested. A great, pointed head rose from the top, sharp, angled ears jutting out from it and brilliantly white fangs popping out of a muzzle as it was still taking shape.

As its feet and hands formed, it fell forward into a hunch, hands thudding audibly into the dirt and coming to an end in wicked, dull claws. Top-heavy and gorilla-like, save for that wolfish face, the beast began to dry out, then heat up, glowing like clay in a kiln until it's almost too bright to look at, white and tipped in orange.

A roar like a great flame erupting from a fissure in the earth, more sensation than sound, almost enough to blow out the eardrums, clipping in and out of audibility from the depth and volume alone, exploded from a now foaming maw as Terry finally reformed, fifteen feet tall and glowing like lava.

Anar'alah Belore. Cay's ears drooped even farther as the blob kept getting bigger, and then... turned into a Worgen so much bigger than they were expecting.

"H-hi Terry," they whimper, popping up another pair of protective barriers for themself and Ranek.

"THAT is Terry? Light above, that is a big Worgen." He planted his feet despite the pain and summoned a pair of blades made from pure shadow.

 "Y-you go left, I go right?"

Ranek nodded, darting left and moving to flank the beast. At least one of them would be able to strike.

It was hard to tell which way the beast looked unless he moved his head; the eyes were merely another point of light in a Worgen-shaped sun. Once the pair got far enough apart, though, it became clear that he was watching Caythaes, and Ranek could see him dig his claws into the dirt a second before he launched himself after The One In The Dress. He raised one enormous meathook of a hand high, clearly intent on either smashing the elf, or impaling them.

POONK! Terry's hand hit Cay's shield, shattering it on impact and sending them flying sideways with a sound like kicking one of those red rubber playground balls from elementary school. Cay's brain did that near-death-experience thing where they experienced slow motion and had time to realize Terry’s hand was big enough to wrap completely around their torso.

This is fine. Caythaes trusted their bubble to absorb the worst of the hit, and they skidded to a halt as they started singing to themself. Motes of darkness appeared around Terry's massive head, coalescing into an orb before exploding outwards. They hoped the shock from the spell would disorient Terry long enough for Caythaes to get off a more powerful one, or Ranek to distract him, or both. Anything besides being murdered was a good option, really.

Almost on cue, Ranek came in at a dead sprint, aiming a vicious slice at Terry’s hindmost leg and ripping a nasty gash across his calf. Terry was prevented from any meaningful follow-through by the explosion around his head, and that well-aimed slice ripped a furious howl from him as he spun to face the more direct threat. 

The Gilnean watched as both of their strikes worked, but the speed with which it swiped Cay and turned to face him made his mismatched eyes widen. 

Bringing both hands up above his head, Terry curled his fingers in as far as he was able, and brought them down like a haymaker from hell.

As those hands came up, Ranek swallowed hard. "Shiiiiiiiit." If he went back, he could get hit. Left or right, the beast could swipe him. So…the only logical choice was closer. He leaped forward to roll on the ground and make more slices at Terry's legs. Ranek's gamble paid off in a couple of ways: first, he didn’t get absolutely flattened into the dirt, though he did feel the impact and nearly stagger from it. Second, he could see the first wound he left on Terry's leg, an ugly, dark mark that slowly filled in with white-gold and eventually shifted back to the same color as the rest of his body. The final color seemed just a bit less white and a bit more orange now, overall.

Caythaes was grateful the only thing they had to worry about getting hit with was the ground for the moment. Too dazed for any real spellwork, they took a deep breath, letting out a dissonant scream, hoping to scare the beast away from Ranek and buy them both some time. It didn't quite frighten the monstrosity, but it did force him to bring his hands back up and cover those radar dish ears of his, stomping forward and away from Ranek, but in a vaguely Cay-ward direction. 

The shriek did affect Ranek as well; clamping his eyes shut and growling loudly at the noise, he just thanked his lucky stars he was out of harm's way for the moment.

That was… the exact opposite of what Cay’d been hoping for. Their ears tipped back as they pulled desperately at the ground, tendrils of red anima rising up and wrapping around them. Ranek, spotting Cay’s escape attempt, moved back to Terry's side, slashing away at arm, flank, and leg; if it was close enough, it got a knife in it. Anything to pull attention away from Cay for the few seconds they needed to sink into the ground.

Taking the doggo's toy away made him a very angry doggo, and he snarled furiously at the space where Cay was, only for that sound to twist up into another pained yowl. Ranek ripped right into his distracted ass one, two, three times before he swung his arm blind, clipping the smaller Worgen's right arm with all the force of a speeding tram.

The clip was more painful than a straight hit from a Tauren, Ranek’s right arm feeling like it was torn from its socket. He howled in pain and anger, focusing on his left-hand blade while the right slowly got feeling back. He swiped again and again, his attention primarily focused on Terry's clawed hands.

A pool of anima opened up directly behind Terry, and Caythaes rose out of it, throwing another blast of fire at the giant lava-gen's back. The fire seemed to push him down more from the force than any actual damage; Cay finally realized that heat wouldn’t do much good. Cay also finally spotted the effect of Ranek's wounding, the dark rips that filled with molten gold and faded slowly to match the rest of him. After that many rapid-fire blows, the overall color of his body was noticeably less bright.

Oh.

"Ranek! St-stop trying to protect me and- and just keep hitting him!" they shout, throwing a volley of three fireballs at Terry to draw attention back to themself. "I- I can't hurt him; only you can! You- you have to trust me and- and focus on- on getting as many hits in as you can!"

"What the fuck do you think I’m trying to do?!" He had a small laugh to his voice, owed to the pain in his arm and his frantic darting in and out of Terry’s range.

After a little pause, Cay shifts their attention to shout, "Hey TERRY. SHEDWYN misses you and- and- andandand wants you to come home now!"

Shalassian coming out of a mouth lined by gleaming white stalactites in a snout that glowed like beaten steel was a trip, but he very clearly roared "MON CIEL" directly at Cay, spittle flying from his mouth. It was a bellow of possession, a roar of challenge, of affront; how dare they speak her name at him? And yet, he didn't get a chance to act on his mad outrage, occupied with batting away the flurry of slices at his big ol' mitts. He put up with this for a few seconds before snarling something undoubtedly much less poetic and reeling back for another haymaker on poor Ranek.

Caythaes sighed in exasperation, throwing a shield at Ranek before switching languages and shouting again. Their Shalassian was nowhere near as poetic as Terry's, but they were hoping the sound of it would be enough. "[Your sky is worried, Terry! She has searched the Shadowlands for you, and she will not rest. Come back to Shedwyn. You can finally stop fighting.]"

Ranek did not understand the words between Cay and Terry, but the momentary distraction allowed him to stab deep with his good arm, twisting the knife until he looked up to see the haymaker coming. He already had a wounded arm, so he turned to take the hit on his right side. He could hear something pop, most likely his shoulder or a rib. The blow lifted him up and off his feet to land in a slow roll. The shield Cay had given him had, at least, prevented his death.

Ranek now sufficiently dealt with for the moment, Terry turned his attention fully on the impudent little shit that kept speaking of his mate.

Then he bent down, picked up the crumpled Worgen's body, and hurled it at the elf.

Caythaes hit the ground with an "oof" as all the wind was knocked from their lungs. Ranek was jarred to semi-consciousness when he impacted Cay, but the blow made him see stars all over again. With Ranek stunned, this would be a lot harder than they'd like, but they were not about to let this be the end yet. They put another barrier on Ranek as they got back up, but this one felt different before– if Caythaes could get their spell off in time, healing en–

Someone started semi-yelling about parties and getting ready to die, and it took a second for Cay to remember that they’d changed their comm’s ringtone recently.

Why the FUCK was their comm going off? Okay, new plan; Caythaes used their other Door of Shadows to get behind Terry again, dragging Ranek along with them.

"I can stand…sort of." Ranek struggled to his feet, breathing heavily, and manifested another blade in his left hand. The Worgen curse allowed for faster healing, but it was nothing that could fix his body during this fight. Cay's aura helped dull the pain enough to let his right arm dangle at his side and focus on using his left.

Finally, Cay answered the call. "If- if this is anyone other than Belore, Eonar, or Shedwyn, I'm- I'm a bit busy trying to, uh. Not die right now."

"I don't know who any of those people are, but if you want to keep your tongue long enough to explain that at a later date, I expect you to keep this channel open." The Accuser ... was probably smiling when she said that, but gosh, it was hard to tell.

Terry's footfalls were awfully loud when they weren’t being interrupted by shouting, roaring, or blows landing, and they were coming closer.

He could almost certainly take a simple leap and close the distance without effort, but he was stalking them, eyes fixed unblinkingly on them while they babbled into a rock. Steam curled up from between his teeth as his body slowly cooled further, now a dull orange that was both better and worse than the white-hot he started with. The various slices and cuts Ranek had given him–as well as dozens upon dozens of others crisscrossing his entire body–glowed an angry red that was much more visible now.

"I don't suppose you still have need of that Sinstone, courtier?"

"O-oh, Madam Accuser, I didn't- one moment-" Caythaes pauses to press a hand to Ranek's side, giving his shadow magic a little boost to help numb the pain. "Okay, I'm sorry, I'm- I'm putting you on speaker, p-please do the thing!!"

One button later, Caythaes held the comm out towards Terry like a tiny shield.

Terry was... understandably puzzled, for a moment, by the small thing holding up a rock at him, and for a moment, he actually laughed, before the Accuser's voice exploded out of it. She was in full oratory mode, and it was a great and terrible voice that announced, "LET THE SINS OF TERRENCE SAMUEL AMBROCE BE KNOWN HENCEFORTH..."

Immediately he was done playing, letting out a horrific snarl and charging at Cay and Ranek.

Welp, Cay was out of Doors, so it was every person for themself. They gestured to the ground at Ranek's feet, throwing down a rune that would grant him a quick speed boost before doing the same for themself and darting to the side. They continued to–they paused to turn the volume up on their comm to full blast before continuing to hold it up.

Buy some time. Ranek charged forward to meet Terry halfway. The blade dissipated, and instead, he focused on the very shadows at Terry's feet, springing to reality a chain between the two Worgen. Ranek ran to the side, pulling tight on the chain to at least unbalance Terry and steer him away from Cay.

"Whose desire for adoration and glory saw him forsake his familial bonds…"

The commstone crackled with the red energies of Revendreth's anima as the Accuser spoke, and Terry's lip curled higher as he found his claws raking across only dirt and rock instead of elven flesh and bone.

"Whose arrogance saw him bargain for and with bodies, lives, and lands that were never his…"

The chain hissed and began to heat rapidly where it held him, and he had little time to do anything about it before he was staggering on one foot, arms wobbling almost comically before he regained his balance.

"Wow," Caythaes whispers as the Accuser speaks, scooting away as Terry staggers, trying to get out of crushing range should he fall.

Ranek held the chain tight and tugged hard, though with Terry's full attention shifted, he had serious doubts he could go toe to toe. But distracting and wounding were his only priorities. Believing the chain to be burning the great beast instead of the other way around, he held on as long as he could.

"Whose hatred was so unreasoning and vast that he saw no value in lives that were not human…"

"Oh, y-yeah, Leon did mention he- he was kinda racist, so-" That sin didn't surprise Cay much.

He'd been cooled rather a lot by now, but Terry was still too hot for metal to touch him and not get a glow-up. It still did an excellent job of frustrating him, even as he got his wits enough to snap his caught leg back and drag Ranek toward him. Stupidly, Ranek kept hold, so he was launched forward. He growled in response, charging Terry in a foolish attempt to slide between his legs and take the monster down with him.

"Whose pride allowed him to atone only for what he deemed a worthy mistake…"

The crackling around the commstone solidified into an ominous red glow, pulsating with the cadence of the Accuser's words.

"Sh-should I throw the comm at him? Or do we- is this when we start hitting him again? I've- I've never been to- to a Sinstone reading before." All the rituals they’d attended were the ones that involved fighting oozy sins made manifest.

"Who refused the hands that would save him, over and over again, even as he destroyed those he loved and lost himself..."

Terry grinned a vicious, evil grin as Ranek flew toward him and bent double. The sound of one Worgen slamming headfirst into the skull of another was an incredibly satisfying, coconut-like CLONK, but also it hurt way more than the friggin' giant seemed to be expecting, and they both reeled. The collision instantly knocked Ranek out, and like a puppet with its strings cut, Ranek dropped on the spot. He would not find out till later that the gamble worked.. just nowhere near how he expected it to work.

The glow around the commstone intensified, and anima manifested around it now, swirling around Cay's hand and then snapping out toward Terry. The Accuser's voice rose to a dull roar, despite her speaking with the same cold, dignified authority that she commanded at all times.

"Knowing his debts and their unworldly weight, he has yet to see them paid in full!"

Binds of furious red curled around Terry's wrists, dragging his arms back and preventing him from mauling Ranek any further.

"Faithless and heartless, this wretched soul stands destined for the Maw, lest he accept our final outstretched hand!"

Three more binds appeared on his ankles and finally around his massive neck, then practically threw him to the ground like Cay had snapped his leash. With a final angry flash, a glowing red muzzle clamped down on his snout, and he thrashed wildly, but to no avail.

After a few seconds of silence, the Accuser cleared her throat. "Well. Either that worked, or all of you are dead."

Terry hit the ground, and Caythaes stumbled a bit, then decided fuck it and just plopped down on their ass. Anar'alah, that sucked.

"G-given that I'm sure Ranek and I p-probably have a few sins to work off, and the fact that - that we're already here? I- I think we wouldn't go far, if we died. Th-thank you, he's... well, he's definitely not going anywhere, but uh- I- I don't know how we're going to- to get him over to Ardenweald." They paused to eye Terry over. "He's very... Big."

The Accuser clinically explained that the bindings she created lashed the soul directly to the sinstone, regardless of distance. It wouldn't do much for his weight, but that turned out to be less of a problem the longer they waited; as the body cooled off more and more, Terry seemed to be losing mass, excess material cracking and crumbling off of him like wood burning too long. The crumbly ez-bake-Worgen finally settled somewhere around nine and a half feet tall. He was still god damn huge, but not uh. That. Anymore.

"I'll send a few attendants with a carriage as quickly as they're able. If I can secure one or two stoneborn, it will of course be much quicker, but they are frequently occupied with more important matters, I'm afraid. Once the soul is safely within Sinfall, I can inspect it more closely." A brief pause, then, "In truth, I'm delighted that this worked at all. He was never dead, and the sinstone was a forgery, so... a bit dicey, hmm?"

"I- I don't think he's going anywhere, so. T-take your time. I- I appreciate everything you've-" They paused and exhaled a soft sigh. "I know there's... so many things of- of a higher priority, but- but I am very grateful for- for all you've done, Madame Accuser. I- I don't think we could have done this without you."

"Yes, I know; I am amazing, magnanimous, and extremely good at my job. But you are welcome. Let me know if anything changes."

Caythaes glanced over to Terry for a moment, figuring they could probably float him to make loading him into a carriage easier, then looked back to Ranek.

It took some time before Ranek blinked his eyes open again with a loud groan of pain. Now that Terry was no longer able to kill anyone and Ranek was groaning, Caythaes got up and walked over to him, squatting down at his side.

"Gods... who was blabbering their mouth?" He rolled his eyes. 

"TH-that was the lady who saved your ass, b-be nice to her, or- or she'll probably rip you a new one," Caythaes deadpans, shaking their head as they end the call and add whatever number the Accuser called them from to their contact lists. Wonder if she'd like cat pictures?

"Congratulations. I have- I have a skinned knee and probably a- a bruised hip."

Ranek groaned loudly, looking up at Cay. "G... good. Everything hurts. Wait.." He took a second. "Nope. My right hand is numb. Thought it was fine. Are my fingers wiggling?" They were not.

"I- I think you dislocated your shoulder. Do- do you want me to set that for you? I- I am very angry with you, by the way."

Ranek took a few breaths. "Dislocated shoulder, cracked rib or two. That head butt didn’t crack my head.. though my neck hurts." He chuckled softly, which became a cough. "Oh, don't get high and mighty. You made as many decisions to put yourself in harm’s way as I did. We did a good job protecting each other, so just.. leave it at that."

"A-anyway, even if I did, I- I somehow managed to- to come out relatively unscathed, didn't I? Y-you ever hear of dodging?" Shaking their head, Caythaes very gently rested a hand on Ranek's chest, humming as they pumped enough healing energy into him to stop the internal bleeding and make it safe for them to move him. "S-sit up. I'm- I need to pop your arm back into place and bandage it."

"Ah.. well. Glad she helped." He sighed, slowly sitting up with a pained grunt. "I dodged plenty. If I had taken any of those.. except for the last, I would be dead, or close to it." He looked up at his dear friend and patted their cheek with his good hand. "You did great. And for the record, I was luring Terry into a false sense of security by charging him. I had to do something." He laughed and nodded. "Set it."

Caythaes gave Ranek a look that clearly showed they disagreed, but they let it be, shaking their head as they shifted positions. Taking Ranek's dislocated arm with one hand and bracing against his shoulder with the other, they pulled until the shoulder bone moved and popped back into place. Then, Caythaes pulled out the bandages they were sent with.

"P-part of me wants to believe that, if I make you heal manually, th-the pain might make you reconsider your choices, but-" they grumbled as they bound Ranek's arm in place and fashioned him a nice little sling. "I- I also feel like, if you haven't learned by now, y-you're not going to. But I'm still annoyed, so- so I'm not going to be nice."

A bit more bickering and shenaniganery passed on the way back to Sinfall to meet up with the Accuser and figure out what to do with their quarry. By the time they'd all gathered again, the oversized Worgen had hardened into something not unlike twice-fired clay and gone inert. It was blissfully quiet but very disconcerting up till it was confirmed that he was, in fact, still alive in there. The Accuser was... rather put out, to put it mildly, once she'd been given a more detailed explanation of just how half a soul had ended up like this. Among far harsher terms, she'd referred to Eonar as incompetent. Once her temper had settled, she set about figuring out the best way to separate the soul from the wierd, wierd body.

After about an hour, she just had a dredger hit him with a hammer and chisel while she held a soulkeeper at ready. To her own annoyance, it worked just fine, and she almost spiked the thing like a football before passing it off and all but pleading to get that absolute headache out of her sight.

Reassembling the soul pieces is somebody else's problem.

Also it turned out that comm number Cay had saved was for the dredger that’d asked for everyone’s teeth if they’d died. Good news is, Muckle does like cat photos.

( @daily-writing-challenge​ @mekandawn @ranekvilmas )

[ahatintimepieces]

The Soul-Eater’s Sorrow

I was rereading @fedoraspooky‘s and @lovelycoris‘s weresnoodle rp to de-stress and then got story idea and I had to pen it to paper immediately so here we are! This takes place before Lukas has met Hattie and about a month after his first transformation, so he’s still getting the hang of his curse (4,767 words). Please enjoy!

Lukas stumbled towards the tree with unwieldy roots, exhausted after a particularly rough night and long morning of sequestering himself as deep into the woods as he dared. When he hurried to correct his footing, his bag jerked painfully against one of the gashes on his chest. He hissed, accidentally biting down onto his tongue with his fangs and once more the taste of iron pooled in his mouth. Trembling, he spat out the glob of blood and wiped at his lips with the back of his hand.

The guard’s anguished howl when Lukas’ jaws had clamped around his shoulder echoed in his mind. Lukas’ grip around his bag tightened.

No.

His chest, littered with wounds from the guard’s frantic silver blade during the fight from the night before, stung but not as much as the guilt when he recalled the man’s expression contorted by terror and how even the man’s mustache had trembled.

No, please. Stop thinking about it.

The guard’s partner had come running to his aid, yelling as she banged her sword against her shield to scare the serpentine shadow away. He recalled her words with crystal clarity despite not having been all there in his beast form.

“Get away you—!”

“Monster,” Lukas whispered out loud, his breath brushing against his fingertips.

The hushed forest didn’t respond to his despondent sigh. Instead, he dropped his bag off of his aching back and slid down against the tree. Leaning his head against one of the raised roots, he stared up at the sunlight trailing through the leaves.

He couldn’t stop playing the night over in his head. It had been a whole moon cycle since he first transformed and fled a frozen Subcon. But having sensed the new moon would have him at his worst again like that terrible night, he had done his best to remain far from the nearest town. He recalled how he had even caught a deer quite quickly after sunset and had a soul to soothe and ease his hunger.

But he still went towards the town.

Groaning, Lukas cupped his head in his hands. His long, disheveled hair fell around his features like a curtain and he curled his legs to his chest.

He remembered an orange glow from the lamps at the town’s gate. His beast form had been drawn to them. Did he think they were souls? No, he distinctly remembered the difference between a soul and a lamp. But both did feel warm…

Scratching a bit around the itching scabs, he tried to remain calm. He still had the later half of the afternoon, judging from the sun, and he had found a secluded spot far away from any people. This time he was sure of it.

The guard would be okay. While Lukas knew he left him with terrible wounds, the guard had access to help and medicine and would ultimately be alright. He was deep in the woods and there would be a sliver of moonlight. Not much, and he would still be dangerous, but he had to cling to anything that might help abate the curse a bit.

His arms trembled as he slowly unfurled. They, too, were covered in scratches from the guard’s sword but weren’t as bad as the ones on his chest. Coupled with the fatigue from not sleeping at all the past couple days, the painful transformations, and the lingering, gnawing anxiety of carrying a dormant beast inside of him that reared its ugly head every night, he was exhausted. Maybe that was good. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could sleep through the whole night. He had managed to ignore soul cravings closer to the full moon. Sure, he felt a little sick in the morning but…

A shudder ran down his spine as he thought about what it meant to eat souls. It felt worse than if he was just eating the meat of an animal. It was like he was devouring its feelings, its memories, and every part of it that knew love and sorrow.

And when he did, oh, the bliss. It didn’t taste like anything, but it felt like everything. The warmth from swallowing a soul felt like the hope that hitched in his chest when he looked at the moon as a human. The warmth he felt when Vanessa smiled at him and held him when her powers weren’t fluctuating. The warmth that kindled in his core when he remembered his mother’s gentle lullabies and how kindly she cupped his hand in hers when she led him through the castle. The warmth of his father’s laugh. The warmth of his brother’s doting whenever Lukas took a spill when they were children. Souls filled him with that kind of lightness, but each animal’s soul he had consumed burned with flickers of their own joys that flittered just outside of his understanding.

What kind of wretched creature needed to feed off others’ precious feelings to survive? The kind of wretched creature he had become. Apparently.  

Lukas shook his head, gaze tracing the lines in his palms. He still wasn’t sure how this all happened, but he could still try to fix it. While eating souls soothed his beast form, he would just have to try and do without. Clenching his fist, he solidified his determination. He wouldn’t eat a soul that night. He would hold himself back. He would be under control. He would prove he was more than just a…

Just a monster.

Lukas pulled himself forward, his back and chest protesting. Reddish-brown curls momentarily blinded him, and he tucked unruly locks back as he reached into his bag. If he was going to try to avoid hunting that night, he would need to fill up. He had found a handful of berries and acorns. A meal fit for a bird but not a human. Or soul-eating monster for the matter. But it would have to do!

Trying to taper his large appetite by eating slowly, he grunted as he pushed to a stand. He had passed a river as he fled civilization and thought now would be a good moment to refill his canteen and see if he could scavenge for more food.

At the river, he drank his fill and even found another berry bush. His stomach grumbled over the lack of protein, but he tried to savor the sweetness of the berries. While he snacked and gazed at the gurgling water surging over polished rocks, he tried to sort through his plans.

Because he had no lead on what kind of curse had been put on him and where it came from, as he traveled from town to town, he had been checking scarcely filled libraries and even chanced a few conversations with merchants or travelers, asking about their journeys and trying to get a sense of what manner of creatures and curses they might have encountered. Unfortunately, the longer Lukas lived with the curse, the more tattered and tired he appeared, making it harder to earn trust from anyone.

Still, he clapped some leaves and stems from his hands, he had to persevere. He had to break this curse and return to Vanessa. He hoped… he hoped she was okay. He hoped she was somehow not alone. Certainly, she was doing alright! He just had to remain positive.

Splashing some water on his face, he shook his head and tried to wake up. He had to wait out the rest of the day and would sleep through the night. He could not harm a single soul. He could control himself. Once he accomplished that, he could make his way to the next town and search its archives for anything that might help. He wished he could have safely entered the community his beast form had found, and maybe find out how the guard was faring, but since he had terrorized them and they might be especially wary of strangers with such a creature around, he figured it was best for him to move on.  

He returned to his bag and dropped down, pulling out a book to keep his mind alert and centered. But he paused. The patch of grass nestled between tree roots was currently bathed in golden sun. His eyelids grew heavy and his sore muscles relaxed in the toasty spotlight. Just for a moment, he chanced closing his eyes as he leaned back, hand on the book cover. He drifted into a much-needed nap.

Lukas snapped awake when the all too familiar feeling of swallowing something hot seared his insides.

“No, no, no!” he gasped, flying forward as he glanced down in the dark.

Shadowy patches of fur had already sprouted on his hands and his fingers were in the process of combining. He fumbled to untie his cloak, refusing to tear it to shreds as the seams of his shirt popped with his bones.

“Don’t eat,” he whispered frantically as he dropped onto changing knees. “Don’t eat. Don’t eat. Just sleep. Sleep—ah!” He cried out as his fangs thrust forward, pushing against and out of his upper lip. His claws clenched around soil and the sound of splitting fabric tore through his mental checklist he was desperate to commit to memory.

Sleep. Don’t eat. Just sleep.

His vision blurred and he felt his body lengthen and muscles stretch as a tail pushed out. His bones bent and realigned, lurching into a larger, ghastly shape. Lukas’ jaw cracked open and from it came an inhuman scream that howled through the trees. A flock of birds fled nearby treetops and Lukas panted, clenching claws into the ground while golden drool dripped from the edges of his mouth. A similar substance oozed from the re-opened cuts on his chest.

Night fully encased the forest and the beast’s golden eyes shone brighter than the barest shaving of moonlight and pinpricks of stars. Breathing heavily, the creature thrashed his tail with agitation as he glanced around, searching for a meal.

A white light, glowing like the gentle reflection of the moon on rippling water, hovered in the distance, beyond a grouping of trees. The creature’s eyes narrowed into slits. Flames licked the corners of his maw. Hunger gnawed at his insides and urged him to feast on the warm soul that would pacify his deep ache. He stilled, crouching into a position to get ready to lunge, but then fragments returned to his thoughts.

Don’t eat. The feelings behind the thought ached with a despair deeper than the pain gnawing his insides. The creature let out a confused growl, keeping his gaze locked onto the soul. He pawed at the ground, wanting to give chase but the feelings twisting his stomach were enough to give him pause. Pacing by the tree, the creature lifted a paw towards the soul, but the frantic thought shifted into a ghastly echo.

Monster!

The creature whined, shrinking back as he ached and hungered and hurt. His spiky mane flattened and the twisting feelings inside him urged him to turn around and try to sleep through the pain. He conceded. Curling up on a bed of grass and torn clothes, he laid down and gnawed on the tip of his tail. The chewing motion helped to dispel some of his anxious energy as he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Though ignoring his insatiable hunger long enough to fall asleep was tricky, once the creature drifted, he was exhausted enough to sleep through the rest of the night. His claws clenched and he occasionally growled, dreaming of chasing something he wouldn’t remember when he woke up.

Finally, dawn peeked through the treetops and the creature stiffened. With a high-pitched groan, the beast gripped the ground as his body reverted back into human. Painful pops resounded from his bones and his tail withdrew.

While shadowy fluff melted back into skin and Lukas’ auburn locks draped across his naked back, he tried to crack open his eyelids, but the soft sunlight stung his slowly adjusting eyes. He croaked, turning his face into the dirt and pressing his forehead against the ground to ease the pressure building in his throbbing temples.

Everything hurt. Not in the way it usually did after a night adjacent to the new moon but in a way that left him feeling like his limbs were securely trapped underneath an Alpine goat. He needed to get up, to try and put on some clothes. But when he so much as pushed his quivering hands beneath his chest and tried to push himself up, a wave of dizziness and nausea crashed into him and he dropped back down, groaning.

Why did he feel like this? He thought back to the night before. The soul he had seen and his hunger returned with clarity. But then, so too, did he recall his hesitation to pursue the animal. A swell of relief pushed through the torrent of unpleasant symptoms he was experiencing.

He did it! He had been able to control the beast a little!

The euphoria was short lived as pain pulsed through his head and he grunted, lifting his arms over himself as he tried to block out the sunlight and press back the ache. Maybe… maybe he would just rest a little longer…

Too many wasted hours later, Lukas had managed to dress himself in his spare clothes. He was able to fight past the headache to have the foresight to salvage the larger pieces of his ruined outfit from the night before. His legs felt like jelly beneath him and while moving too fast caused his stomach to flip, he heaved his bag over his shoulder and pushed on. Carding his fingers through his knotted hair, he blinked at the sunlight pooling in through the leaves and tried to focus on his objectives.

Find town. Find books. Break the curse.

Usually he would have ‘find breakfast’ somewhere in there, and while he certainly was aware of how empty his stomach was, his hunger was buried underneath how sick he felt.

Ambling aimlessly, he soon found the path and an apple orchard across from the forest. His stomach twisted, begging for food, as he stared at bright, red apples glinting in the sunlight. Salivating at the thought of sinking his teeth into a sweet, plump looking apple, he quickly swallowed.

No. No. The curse had made him many things, but he wouldn’t stoop to thievery. He still had a little bit of coin he could use in town. Turning onto the path, he felt something dribble down his chin. He brushed the back of his hand across his lip and found he had started to drool. Sighing, he glanced towards the apples, which taunted him as they perched just beyond a fence.

A small part of him still hesitated, wanting to at the very least find the owner of the grove and pay for a meal. His stomach growled (or, wait, was it his stomach that had growled?) and he took a step forward.

The hunger-induced stupor he had been in dissipated as soon as he chomped into an apple. He hadn’t realized he had hopped the fence or plucked an apple from the branch but now that the fresh juice revitalized his tastebuds, he dug in unabashedly.

It was only after he practically inhaled the fruit that he realized he was surrounded by other apples stripped to the core. His heart leapt to his throat as he examined the suddenly barer looking apple tree.

Did—Did he eat all of those without realizing?

Dropping the apple core dripping in his hand, he eyed the scene of his crime and lamented that even if he did find the owner and try to pay for the pilfered meal, he probably couldn’t afford it. What was worse was he was still hungry…

Grimacing as he reached for one more apple, he heard footsteps and quickly pressed his back flush with the tree bark.

“Muriel!” A feminine voice called from deeper in the grove. “Young lady, you better not be in the forest!”

Forest? Lukas’ gaze shifted as he scanned the uncultivated trees he had just come from.

The woman yelling for Muriel crossed towards the opposite side of the grove and Lukas exhaled. Carefully holding the apple between his teeth, he clumsily hopped back over the fence and dropped onto the path. He felt a bit more coherent now that he had eaten and while he could have kept going into town, the idea of a child wandering alone in the woods didn’t sit well with him. He promised himself it would just be a quick look around.

When he spotted a small footprint in a patch of soil, he decided he would be dedicating far more time to looking for the young girl. Finishing his apple, he discarded the core and followed the direction of the footprint.

In a turn of events, she found him when he reached the winding tree he had camped at the night before.

“Ha!” A small blur of red plunged out of the treetops and landed in front of him, waving a stick.

“Goodness!” Lukas jumped back. Still not feeling one hundred percent from skipping out on a soul, his dizziness combined with his trembling legs tripped him up enough that he fell back with an “oof.”

“Oh.” The girl wrinkled her nose. “Who are you?”

“Lukas,” he wheezed. Catching his breath and knowing he wasn’t ready to try and stand again, he opted to just straighten his sore back as he held the girl’s gaze. “Are you, by any chance, Muriel?”

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Maybe. Why?”

“I believe your mother is searching for you.” Sensing her distrust, he summoned a gentle smile to try and ease her concerns. He knew he probably looked terrible despite his efforts. “Would you like me to accompany you back to the orchard?”

“I don’t need help!” Muriel turned on her heels, crossing over to the tree and jumping up onto the roots.

“I’m sure you don’t.” Lukas pushed himself up, stretching out his back and exhaling as it popped, “But your mother was worried—”

“I don’t care!” she snapped. “I’m busy!”

Lukas tilted his head, watching as she started to climb the tree.

“Busy doing what? If you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m going to avenge the person who got mauled here!” she declared, scowling as she glanced down.

“Mauled?” He paled, thinking back. He hadn’t—Surely, he would remember—He couldn’t have in his beast form; he had slept the whole night! “What makes you think—”

“I found shredded clothes with blood on them.” Muriel lifted one of the remains of his shirt, a casualty of his transformation.

He sighed, wholeheartedly relieved.

“Oh no.” His mind whirled to come up with an explanation. “My deepest apologies for frightening you, but I camped out here last night and I suppose I accidentally left behind some… old… cloth I used for bandages.” He tried to conceal his wince at how poor an excuse he offered. Though he was still struggling with a headache and fatigue.

“You used a shirt?” Muriel catapulted from the tree and landed solidly in front of him. He jumped, reaching out on instinct in case she needed help, but she righted herself, brushing twigs from her scarlet tunic before crossing her arms. She crinkled her nose. “Are you homeless? And not the traveling-merchant-homeless but the pathetic kind?”

“Pa-pathetic?” Lukas bristled before slouching under her stare. “Well,” he admitted, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck, “there’s no shame in being a wandering vagabond, but I’ll be the first to concede there are others who undoubtedly function better than I.”

Muriel’s lips quirked into a mischievous smile.

“You looked like a wild animal eating our apples.”

Lukas stiffened, his cheeks burning brighter than his newly awakened fire magic.

“Apologies. I don’t—I don’t know what, erm, came over me,” he stammered, already embarrassed by his ravenous appetite even without anyone watching him.

“If you camped out here, didn’t you hear that howl?” Muriel’s brows narrowed.

He froze, thoughts careening as he remembered the pain.

“I—well—yes, I did, but—”

“You weren’t scared?” Muriel’s eyes widened.

“A little.” He slowly exhaled, trying to calm his nerves. Offering a nervous smile, he added, “but I survived.”

“Wow,” Muriel gave him an impressed look. “Then you can help me!” She motioned for him to follow.

“With what, exactly?” He remained in his spot. A quick glance towards the sky told him the afternoon sun was slowly creeping. He wondered if he could even make into town at this point.

“Hunting the serpent shadow!”

He paled.

“Muriel—”

“Call me Mu!”

“Mu, then,” he implored, “It’s much too dangerous to try to hunt the beast and your mother is worried.”

She paused, looking over her shoulder with a scowl.

“You don’t have the equipment,” he continued, fiddling with his bag strap. “And I certainly don’t have anything to subdue the creature…” He intended to keep listing reasons for why it was a bad idea to chase after the beast without giving away he was the beast, but his growling stomach interrupted him.

“You’re still hungry?” Mu blinked incredulously.

He winced, tightening his fingers around the strap.

“You are pretty scrawny,” Mu huffed, turning around and shifting her stick to her other hand. Before Lukas could protest, she took his hand and tugged him back towards the orchard. “I guess you can’t go monster hunting on an empty stomach, but I don’t know how your stomach can be empty after eating nearly a whole tree’s worth of apples.”

“Ah, I-I suppose you’re right,” Lukas said faintly, letting her guide him back.

He inwardly sighed as he realized he hadn’t gotten any closer to figuring out how to break his curse. It was due in no small part to how ill he felt going without a soul, losing a whole morning as consequence. And, if Mu had heard him last night, even from the orchard, he was still far too close to others. What precious hours of daylight he had left would need to be used for putting distance between him and everyone.

If he was still this famished, he couldn’t imagine what the night would be like.

Soon enough, he and Mu reached the orchard again and there they found her mother, getting ready to head into the forest.

“Muriel!” Her mother dropped her bag before running up to Mu and enveloping her in a hug.

Lukas smiled, releasing Mu’s hand and stepping back on the path.

“Mom, stop!” Mu grumbled, pushing her away before pointing at Lukas. “I got lost and he helped me find my way back. We should feed him.”

“Ah, it was nothing so serious.” Lukas flushed. He saw what Mu was doing, but he really hadn’t done anything to help her and he really needed to be going. The way that her mother was eying him with suspicion also made him a bit nervous.

It wasn’t like he had looked at himself in the mirror lately, but if his appearance was anywhere near as terrible as he felt, he imagined he looked frightfully haggard.

“I actually need to be heading on my way,” he offered, wringing his hands a bit as he backed up on the path.

“What?” Mu pouted. “But we need to hunt the serpent shadow tonight!”

“Muriel!” Her mother frowned, protectively pulling her back with an exasperated sigh. “A witch hunter has already made it to town. Let them take care of it.”

While Lukas’ eyes widened, processing what that all entailed and how he needed to get as far away as possible for everyone’s safety and his, Mu’s mother turned to him with a defeated look.

“But it is dangerous out there.” Her features creased like she was trying not to grimace at Lukas’ appearance. “It would be cruel to make you fend for yourself while there’s a terrible monster out there.”

“I really must get going,” Lukas said, summoning a charming smile. “I appreciate the concern, but I’ll be alright.”

“If you don’t believe a beast is out there, it tried to torment the townspeople, and nearly killed my brother.” Her features darkened.

“Wh-what?” Lukas paled, digging his nails into his hands.

“Uncle’s captain of the guard at the town over!” Mu cut in. Her voice grew bitter as she explained, “the serpent shadow attacked just the other night, but it couldn’t have gotten too far! That’s why I was looking for it! I won’t let it hurt anyone else.”

“I-I’m so sorry,” Lukas breathed out, shoulders slumping. Guilt weighed him down as he remembered quite clearly the guard’s agonized screams and the taste of blood. Lukas’ features crumbled as he held the woman’s gaze. “Truly, I’m so sorry. Is your brother—” Okay? Healing? Not completely traumatized at the very least?

“The doctor says he’ll heal. Luckily, the gash isn’t infected, but,” the woman scowled, “I hope the witch hunter skins that monster before anyone else gets hurt or worst.”

Lukas swallowed thickly, only able to nod.

“Would you like to spend the night?” The woman softened. “I’d hate for you to get caught by the monster or wind up in a battle between it and the witch hunter.”

“I’ll probably find shelter in the town,” Lukas lied. “But thank you for your generosity.”

Mu tugged on her mom’s sleeve and she bent down, listening as Mu whispered in her ear.

“I suppose that would be alright.” Her mom ruffled her hair and Mu beamed before dashing off into the orchard, towards a house that could be glimpsed between the trees. “So, where exactly are you from?”

While Lukas numbly recited his cover story about coming from a town near Subcon and inwardly grimaced when the woman recalled hearing something about a terrible tragedy befalling Subcon Village. He hurried to change the subject, inquiring about the orchard as he tried to appear at ease while the sun moved through the sky, his back ached from standing still with his bag, and guilt chewed his insides. Finally, Mu returned with a cloth bag filled with jars of pale amber-colored apple jam and fresh bread. The jars had mustaches painted onto them.

“Here you go!” Mu shoved the bag into him, and he fumbled to grasp it, eyes wide at the heft.

“I couldn’t possibly accept this.” He gave them both a wide-eyed look while biting the inside of his cheek. His fang pressed painfully into it.

“You brought my mischief-maker back. It’s the least I can do.” The woman shrugged before bending down and scooping up Mu. Mu squealed as her mom tickled her sides and that only encouraged her mom to blow an affectionate raspberry near her cheek. Giggling, Mu swatted her mom away, though she seemed comfortable in her mother’s embrace.

“Thank you,” Lukas whispered, knowing he didn’t deserve it, especially after what he had done… But the bread did smell tantalizing and the idea of eating jam with it was too rare a treat to pass up. He hugged the bag to his chest, still itching with scabs, and dipped his head. “I better be going, but I really do appreciate this, and I hope your brother recovers swiftly.”

Please let him recover swiftly.

“You better get into town.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Before the beast tries anything again.”

“You can come back tomorrow and help me with chores!” Mu called as Lukas started down the path, waving.

“If I’m able,” Lukas returned noncommittally. “Please take care.”

Please forgive me.

Mu and her mother waved as he left, heading down the path until he was out of sight and then immediately changing direction. After tucking the bread and jam into his own bag, he groaned lightly as he heaved the more cumbersome weight over his shoulders. The jam jars clinked lightly, and he ran a hand through his tangled hair.

He needed to run. If the witch hunter had plans to search the forest, it would not be safe in the slightest, and after how awful he felt from not hunting for a soul, he didn’t think he could keep his beast form from feeding that night and he did not want to chance being too close to others in that state.

He couldn’t hurt anyone again.

Lukas pushed on, weaving through the forest, crossing the river, and hiking ever deeper into isolation. He would ensure that he wouldn’t hurt anyone again.

[doodle-zombie]

Lamia Bonding Drama

Finished RP with @theriverpersonshadow that turned into an absolute monster once we both sat down and started it. I think we finished this in under a week? The final word count is...25,546 (after some editing by me).

The only warnings that may apply are for language. If anyone has any triggers please let me know.

It's so long that it's under the cut.

Caring Coils was having one of its community events this week. While the shop was always open to the public (within business hours), the weather had been nice lately and they’d managed to rent out some outdoor space in a local park. The Lamia were absolutely loving it, in their own ways: a hoard of miniature pygmies were chasing after an RC car “driven” by a bitty Papython and actually driven by a Honeybo, the trees were draped with various Lamia but especially Chains, one of the larger rocks in the area had become a community nap pile for Cornies, and no small number of Kraits (and Oozy) were enjoying the pond as a few Mambas terrorized/were terrorized by the local goose population, thankfully far from the rest.

Nikolai was a mixture of happy and absolutely harried, trying to keep track of everyone who’d come. Some Lamia had opted to stay inside, like Hux, and some were too young (Piper was allowed to come, barely), but the park was absolutely teeming with various Lamia. It made his soul swell to see them so happy, but also, he probably needed to deal with the goose situation on top of general PR.

Keith was hanging out near the edge of the park, draped in a tree and soaking up some sun rays. Trousle was hanging with him - pun intended - and looking at the humans as they passed into the park, chirping out hellos with his little speaker. Piper, meanwhile, had claimed a bird nest as “his” and was enthusiastically showing it off.

“Oh! Look! That human has one like you!” Trousle said, tugging lightly at Keith.

Keith looked over towards Val, giving a wave. “Yo, nice to meet ya. Name’s Keith.”

“Look! I’mma mom!” Piper chirped loudly as his little lungs(?) could manage. This is clearly a child in a bird nest.

“Hello human!!!”

*

Valerie adored her boys and did whatever she could to make them happy but this was, admittedly, more for her than it was for any of her boys. She had joined tons of different groups geared towards Lamia, including a site that allowed her to see when a center was having any special events, and she stalked those sites when she had a few minutes to herself. It was through her obsessive need to stay on top of all things Lamia related that she heard about a center that was having a community day.

And it was open to the public.

Marmalade watched, so in tune that he picked up on her excitement before any of the other boys, as she prepared for a trip. It wasn't too far but it was enough distance that she was careful to pack a cooler full of snacks and blankets to create a nest in the back of the van. Because it was a given that Currant would be tagging along and Sangria would be the guardian of the property while she was away. His Mamba brother took his duties incredibly serious and he had a prankster Corny to watch over and a recovering Pygmy to take care of. Val left instructions on what to do if she wasn't back within a few days, leaving behind a phone she'd picked up just for them.

None of them liked to be away from her with no means of making sure she was alright, Marmalade didn't blame them.

Despite being the largest in the house, Marmalade had made no secret of his desire to go with Valerie and Currant on their trip. He coiled on the back seat, soaking in the light and enjoying the breeze, while Currant claimed the front seat with a nest carefully crafted. Val filled the trip to this community day with belting along to whatever song played, nudging Currant until he joined in and beaming at Marmalade in the mirror until he went along with their shenanigans.

Stars, he adored his bondmate.

Their arrival was met with little fanfare. Currant wanted to stay in the van, unwilling to risk getting lost or injured by whatever was going on at the park, and the windows were left cracked for his comfort. Val gave his skull a pet and eagerly left the car behind, Marmalade tagging along at her side. It was clear that all the Lamia were enjoying their time outside and he snickered at the sight of a cluster of Mamba trying to assert their dominance over a flock of geese.

Sangria would have been absolutely delighted to show the smaller Mamba how to go about proving their superiority.

Marmalade found his gaze drawn to his fellow Chains, draped across tree branches like, particularly strange vines. Val must have felt his curiosity because her gaze was also drawn towards the trees and she gave a delighted squeak. Her soul pulsed back pure joy at him.

"'sup," he drawled, acknowledging Keith's greeting. "'m marmalade."

"Ohmystars," Val breathed, clutching her chest. "You are just the cutest little thing."

Which Lamia was she talking to? Well, all of them if Marmalade had to guess.

"y'all don' get out often, do ya?"

*

"Not really! It's big out here!" Trousle said. If he was being honest with himself, it was kind of overwhelming. Thankfully, Keith didn't seem to mind hanging around with him, and it was nice having a familiar face as he tried to get used to it. Mostly he worried about how his speaker would work. It was small enough to be portable... for a normal-sized person, but it'd be a pain trying to carry it around at his size. But there was plenty to do just here! People to talk to, things to climb and play around in, it was all so much and it was great!

"They say 'm too lil. But I'm not! Not a hatchling! Nuh-uh!" Piper said. He grinned down at this human and looked at "his" eggs. He couldn't actually keep these, so... He slithers down to Valerie's level, tail wound around a tree branch while he makes grabby hands her way. The little one looks like he's got some scales stuck to his skull and arms, but a closer look reveals that they seem to be growing there (though might be in a shedding phase right now too, based on the flakiness). He chirped for her, little tongue darting out to catch the taste of the air.

Keith just chuckled at the little one. "Nope. What can I say, I've got my dice inside." He yawned and readjusted himself on the branch, muscles rippling as he found another position. "But it's pretty nice out here honestly. At least right now. It gets dang hot sometimes." Which might explain why there didn't seem to be many Firerings. While they probably would've enjoyed the usual summer heat, it'd be uncomfortable or even possibly deadly to those around them. "Heh, where y’all from anyways? I don't know you." The other Chain's scent was unfamiliar to him, and they were kind of the place to get a well-cared-forlamia in the state. Marmalade might've been a little roughed up from hunting in the woods, but he didn't really have the look of a rescue, and the linger scents were new too.

*

"nah," Marmalade teased, sockets narrowing as he smirked. "yer jus' small."

And adorable. Marmalade was so accustomed to being around smaller Lamia that he felt an instant need to protect any smaller Lamia around him. Lapis was the smallest at home and Marmalade often kept him safe from predatory birds and other larger creatures that might make a snack of a Lamia. Keith keeping Trousle close was something Marmalade approved of, it was what made Chains so reliable as companions.

"You certainly don't look like a hatchling," Valerie complimented, putting her hands out so he could slither onto her. Honestly, the spattering of scales upon his bones was beautiful. Val found the scales of Lamia to be incredibly pretty. If they didn't turn to dust when they came off, she would be tempted to collect them. "But your scales are really pretty! Currant would love you, he'd think you were a little gem."

Marmalade found Keith to be a little strange, for a Chain, but he figured that they couldn't go out into the woods from their center. It was the part he loved about his territory, there were so many huge trees he could climb and bask on. Plus, the rock that Sangria often showed off on when Valerie was taking a break from work. In fact, all the Lamia around here were pretty immaculate. He didn't see any signs of scars or any hints of lacking care.

"val drove us here," Marmalade shrugged. "we're a coupla states away, middle a nowhere. my home center was in a big city."

*

Trousle let out a breathy attempt at a "Nyeh", huffing. "That's not my fault! I was born small! I'm a good size for a Papython bitty too!" Though sometimes he did feel a little out of place with most of the DnD group being full-sized, but being small just meant he had more things to look at and slither into! More to explore, and a lot of puzzles just getting around!

Piper enthusiastically wound his way on there, letting out little chittering purrs as he accepted the compliments. "Thank you! You've got pretty too!" He was idly playing with the fabric of her clothing, but his eyes were on her hair. A stray strand caught his eyes and he zoomed up, pouncing for it and squeaking as he overshot, grabbing onto the back of Val's clothes as he fell. "I'm 'kay!" He said, little claws helping him climb up to her neck. With a little purr, he settled in against the warmth. "Smells nice."

Keith was gently stroking Trousle while watching Marmalade, curious about this other Chain. "Really? Huh... you're from far out, ain't ya? I haven't gotten around much myself. What can I say, I'm a bit lazy." That was a lie, partially. Part of him wouldn't mind getting out and about more often, see more of the outside, more of the world. He was old enough that he was pretty sure Nikolai could get some stuff sorted for him if he asked, but leaving would mean not living with Hux anymore, almost certainly. Hux didn't exactly want a human, and he seemed perpetually peeved at Alex...

"How'd you two meet anyways? I mean, like... How do you know?" He'd assumed he'd known, but Alex never said anything, so maybe he was just getting desperate. Could it work that way? Nikolai had assured him it couldn't, but he was too nervous to bring it up. What if she was avoiding it for a reason? "Ya seem pretty happy."

"Keith hasn't found his human yet," Trousle said.

Keith looked to the side, unwilling to dump his anxieties on the little guy. He wasn't leaving. Period. No reason to worry him.

*

"jus' kiddin', kid," Marmalade laughed. It had been a few months since he'd last been around a Papython, his home center had a high turnover rate for them, and those that were old enough to go tended to get adopted faster than he could learn about them. There was nothing wrong with Trousle, if you asked Marmalade, and he would have liked to talk more with the little guy. But Marmalade was a stranger to these Lamia and he didn't want to cause any fights by climbing into a tree with the Lamia here. "yer decent size. bigger than lapis at home."

Heaven. This must have been heaven. Valerie was very used to having a Lamia slithering on her, Lapis did it all the time, so she wasn't phased in the slightest by the little Pygmy darting around. She laughed as he zoomed, looking over her shoulder and putting a hand under where he was dangling. Affection filled her at his little compliments, her fingers gentle when she rubbed his little skull. "Thank you, sweetie."

Marmalade glanced over to Valerie, blinking as she cuddled with the small Pygmy. He could feel the waves of affection that were rolling off her soul in gentle waves. It wouldn't have surprised him if every Chain around could feel how much she adored the little guy. Well, he should have known she wouldn't be able to resist.

"you'd get along well with Currant then," Marmalade said, studying Keith carefully. Huh, a Chain that just... didn't know how to tell who his human was? At least Marmalade was used to offering advice, usually to his housemates. "she came in for a coral bitty, originally. an i jus' knew she was mine. soon as i saw her. she knew i was hers right after i bonded with her. val's more in touch with her soul now."

He looked at Val, the happy smile on her face as she pet the small Pygmy. "she's the best thing that happened to me. A real gentle soul, patient too. she even adopted the mamba from my brother clutch."

*

Trousle grinned, typing away. "Yes! And thank you! You seem good-sized yourself! I guess I'm just not used to being places where things aren't all bitty-sized. Well, other than the DnD table! And the humans. Humans tend to be human-sizedfor lamia, though children of course are smaller." All was forgiven, just like that. "It's good to meet you! Have I introduced myself? I'm Trousle! That little one is Piper, and this is Keith."

"You're welcome!" Piper chirped. He grabbed at one of her fingers, holding it to him to nuzzle against it. A few of his loose scales flaked off which was met with little sighs of relief - those had been itchy! "Like you! You like games? One time I got to be a dragon! I was the boss! Rawr!" He tries to roar, but it's squeaky and he devolves into giggles.

"Oh geez, that was sure an interesting session," Keith said, laughing at the memories. It was an absolute mess and it was amazing. "We let him join a DnD game once, he was my little Co-Dm."

"Mm hmm! I was the Boss!"

"He was also the dragon they fought... And the trickster god that our cleric summoned. Who immediately attacked his own follower."

"Was a mouse!"

"That it was." Alex had been playing a Mousefolk cleric and used a mouse toy as a token, so really that was almost set up that way, and it was hysterical.

Keith turned back to Marmalade, "I run a DnD game afterhours for some of my friends. Alex is a new girl, or was I guess? She's been visiting a while, seems pretty nice. Brought us Peanut butter and chocolate no-bake cookies, and wasn't gonna say no to that!"

"They were delicious!" Trousle said. "Liam tried to say he brought them, but he'd just stolen them! Nyeh! He's so silly!"

"He got caught pretty fast. But yeah," Keith said. "She, uh... seems nice. Like, real nice. But I don't think she thinks I'm anything special. Other than a good DM of course, and hey, what else can a nerd ask for?" He was hesitant to outright say it.

Sure, most of his friends were technically special needs in one way or another, but those were just surface level, right? Having a faulty soul-bond meant something was deeply wrong with him, not to mention he hadn't even tried until then.

Keith was idly clawing at the bark, muscles tensing and untensing as he slowly swung there, filling moments where he wasn't talking by humming the same few bars of a song.

If he was going to tell someone, maybe it ought to be them? Marmalade didn't ask for that though, and that's a lot to put on someone. But who else could get it and not have it get back to Hux? Nikolai had enough to deal with...

Nah, he was being silly. Might as well just enjoy the sunshine, if he could. "I'd offer to show you around, but I don't know the place much better. Plus it looks like part of the park is under attack by geese."

In the distance, Nikolai was trying to get some of the younger Mambas to leave the fucking geese alone while Liam tried to scare the geese into leaving the mamba alone. Oozy was making puns about this "fowl situation" while watching and being generally unhelpful.

*

Well, Trousle certainly made it obvious why Papythons were so popular. His temperament was excellent and things just seemed to roll right off his scales. It was a shame that Marmalade had never really connected with any Papythons when he'd been at the center still because they seemed like he would have gotten along great with them. "nyeh heh, thanks kid."

"Oh stars," Val squeaked, delighted beyond measure. She also took immediate note of his relief when several scales flaked away, revealing pristine blue beneath, and she gave soft scratches to areas that looked like they were ready to come away. "Oh, sweetheart, I love games! I bet you were the biggest, best dragon around!"

She feigned a shocked gasp at his attempt at a roar, grinning down at the little guy. Her heart was gone, he'd stolen it. All of these Lamia were adorable. As much of her attention as Piper had stolen, Val still didn't ignore Keith and Trousle. They were good with Piper, harnessing the chaotic energy of a young Pygmy.

"Every Lamia is special," Val refuted, cuddling Piper closer to her neck. "Maybe you should talk to Alex?"

Marmalade nodded along, giving Keith a curious look. He didn't know what DnD was but he knew about the soul and the bonds that Chains forged with their humans. Keith seemed awfully curious and cautious when it came to those bonds.

"you think you got the wrong human?" was Marmalade's astute observation.

"Oh!" Val perked, wide eyes turning to Keith. "You wanna stay with your friends, don't you? But you want a human too, maybe?"

Inevitably, her gaze was drawn towards the honking of geese. Not a sight that was common at home but nothing she had never seen before, either. It was certainly lively over at that side of the park!

*

Trousle nodded, “No problem!” He paused and typed more, tongue flicking as he did. “What’s it like where you guys are from? Do they have Papython there too?”

Piper was purring, rubbing against her hand both out of affection and in eagerness to shed some of his scales. He had stars in his eyes as he looked up to her. “Yeah! I love games too! I’m a great dragon! Mweheheh!” I dun hurt you though is ‘kay.” He gave her a little pat of reassurance. “Can only hurt the tokens. But I win good!” Piper made happy purrs and chitters, enjoying the warmth and affection. This was so exciting!!! “I special! You too!”

Keith couldn’t stay buried in his thoughts with that happening. A grin split his face. “Heh, hope you were looking to adopt.”

A twinge of jealousy rose up in Trousle’s soul, bitter and venomous, but he took a deep breath and swallowed it with a smile. He’d find someone one day. It wasn’t fair to hold it against Piper. Besides, he wanted to live closer to his friends anyway. “You can talk to Nikolai when he’s done with the geese if you’re thinking of taking him home! He practically owns the place. He’s the King.”

“Don’t let the fangs fool you. He’s basically a mom,” Keith said. “Gotta love him… Heh. You might get along, or else I need to get better at hiding things. Am I that obvious?”

Trousle looked up at him. “Alex is yours then?” He hadn’t known but wasn’t surprised either.

“I don’t know,” Keith said honestly, shrugging. “Thought I felt something, still do, but she hasn’t said anything, so I ain’t gonna force it. Besides, I’d rather keep hanging with y’all.”

“I appreciate it, but don’t stay just for my sake! You’ve been here longer than me! If you think you’d be happy with her…” Then he’d say goodbye.

“Ain’t my call anyways lil dude, but thanks,” Keith said. He turned back to the others. “I might just live here long as they’ll have the gang and me. Made peace with it a good while ago.”

*

This time it was Valerie who answered Trousle, happy to soothe the Papython that there was someone out there who would love him and take him home. "Oh, I see Papythons everywhere when I go into town! Everyone loves a Papython. You guys are super helpful."

She was quickly distracted by Piper once again, enthralled by how adorable he was. The point of coming here hadn't been to adopt but she wasn't going to rule it out, not when faced with a Lamia this adorable. Valerie had always assumed Pygmy were too energetic for her but Piper was just perfect. The right amount of energetic and sweet, with a little bit of snuggle tossed in. "A precious dragon," she beamed, "Oh, Admiral and Sangria would love you!"

Valerie laughed at Keith, keeping Piper close to her. "I'm not opposed! I have plenty of space at home... and toys. And I already have the perfect little bandana that would look just adorable on him."

"course ya do," Marmalade huffed, amused. "ya got a lil' bit o' everythin' at home."

"That I do!" Val agreed, smiling at Keith and Trousle. "I even brought a couple things to give out, if you want something Trousle. I think you'd look really cool in this little red scarf I bought. None of the Papythons at the other center were the right size for it."

"don' let val think she'd get along with a king," was the mumbled warning from Marmalade, his gaze mischievous. "she debated on a king or a mamba once. still don' know if she won' bring home a king some day."

Her answering laugh was completely unapologetic.

"Gotta say, Keith, if you feel like she's yours then she probably is. There's a lot of reasons a human wouldn't react. Maybe she doesn't have the space for you and all your friends but she doesn't wanna separate you?"

"don' count yourself stuck, keith. even if ya don' live with her she's still yours. an you're hers."

*

Trousle beams, puffing out his little chest as much as he can and showing off his scales. He's a bit too busy posing to type right now, but his grin is practically splitting his face. He nods enthusiastically at the idea of a little scarf. Wouldn’t he just look great?! Even greater than now, he wasn’t sure it was even possible!

Keith smiles down at him. "Yer pretty cool, y'know? Can't believe you haven't been scooped up yet. But hey, this way I get to keep ya. Wouldn't be the same without such a cool guy at the gaming table."

Trousle's face was bright orange. He attempted to hide it behind his hands, flustered, but he kept moving his hands to peek out.

Piper purred, too enthralled by Val to pay much attention to Keith and Trousle. "Yeah! 'm the best dragon. They love! And I love! Where they?" He looked over at Marmalade, squinting as he tried to figure out which one he'd be. "Sangria?"

Keith chuckled, "That's Marmalade." With so much happening, he didn't blame Piper for missing a few details.

"No. Sangria."

"That's not how that works...“ Trousle said.

"Sangria," Piper insisted, crossing his arms. Guess Marmalade's been renamed now, sorry dude. "Gonna play toys with Sangria! Mweheheheh! Toys toys toys! Yes yes yes!" He tightened around her neck - not nearly enough to hurt - in enthusiastic cuddles.

"He really likes you!" Trousle said. Feeling a bit bolder, he started winding his way down towards her and Marmalade too. Keith helped by stretching his arm out towards her for him. Dude wants cuddles too it seems like.

Keith's soul ached at the thought of Trousle leaving too, but Val seemed nice, and it sounded like he wouldn't be low on company. It was a bit early to call though. "I hope ya'll're right. I mean, she keeps coming back, so hey, that's a good sign! Just don't wanna come on too strong, y'know?" He turned to look over at the goose situation. Some park administrators had managed to catch and contain most of them, but Liam had the tell-tale sign of a successful hunt around his fangs. Good for him. Nikolai had redirected the younger Mambas towards something less destructive: showing off for humans with posing and play-fights. "If ya wanna keep the kiddo, you can talk to Nikolai or Maia, the old lady. She owns the place, but Nikolai's been keeping it running the last year or two. She's getting too old fer it."

*

Oh. Oh no. Trousle was adorable too and Val felt awful knowing she would gladly take him home too, away from his friends and so far from what he'd known that he might never be able to visit when they had their sessions. But Keith brought up a good point... why hadn't Trousle been snatched up yet? He was a sweet Papython, perfectly sized for apartment living but also the right size that he could help out around if he wanted.

Her attention was taken by Piper once again, cooing at just how sweet he was. Her poor heart couldn't handle all that adorableness. If she combined him with Admiral... Val would probably collapse from the combined cute of two Pygmy, even if they were different sizes. Her face actually hurt from how much she was smiling.

"I only brought Marmalade and Currant with me, Piper," she gently told him, grinning at Marmalade with waggling brows. "Sangria is my big Mamba, he's protecting the territory and making sure Admiral doesn't get lonely. But Sangria is so awesome I'm sure Marmalade doesn't mind."

Marmalade narrowed his eyes at her but it lacked any real heat. Sangria was a Mamba that defied his species, a far more tolerant creature that was essentially the den mother of all Lamia Valerie had at home. It wouldn't surprise any of them if Sangria was cuddled up, beyond exhausted dealing with Admiral and Lapis, when they got home. Val was good for them, he was somewhat surprised she didn't have a whole hoard of Mamba roaming around.

"I really like him too," Valerie told Trousle, offering a hand so he could join Piper on her. Papython cuddles were the best. And she'd only ever cuddled a few full-size ones! As much as she would have loved to take him home too, Valerie didn't feel like Trousle was destined to stay with her. Someone out there would adopt them all together, she could feel it. But she would never deny a Lamia some cuddles. "I should go get Currant, though. Don't want my grumpy boy to laze away in the car. It's about time to exercise, anyway."

"she probably feels somethin'," Marmalade shrugged. "i bonded with val as soon as i saw her. didn' wait a second."

"It's true," she laughed. "I walked in for a grumpy Coral and wham! Soulbonded to a Chain within minutes. I can kinda feel all my boys, now."

Valerie trailed off, not knowing how to ask Keith if he wanted to go to the car with her so she could get Currant and the things she could give to other Lamia. Marmalade saved her from having to ask, aware of her on a level deeper than anything she'd thought to have.

"wanna come with us to the car, keith? val wants to grab some stuff and trousle an piper are safest if she holds 'em. you can meet currant."

*

Piper nodded, "Mamba can be mean, but can be nice! Some go hiss, but others like hugs. Like Cobalt!" Cobalt was hatched around the same time. The little mamba could be protective sometimes, especially when some of the meaner mamba or corals teased him about his weird bone-scales. (The fact that Piper was quick to give affection and fawn over him miiiight've helped). "Can I meat Cur-Currant... Curry! Curry!"

Trousle slithered up Val's arm and draped himself across her in one big cuddle, clicking softly in a muted purr.

Keith smiled down at Val, she had such a way with the kiddos. If she ever needed a job, she could probably work here, provided she didn't try to adopt the entire store. And knowing that Alex might know something, well... Maybe he should have a chat with her. Lost in thought, he stretched himself out wordlessly in answer, winding down and placing himself next to Marmalade, ready to go meet Currant. Hopefully he'd be nice to Trousle, or they'd have a problem.

*

"Sangria is nice," Val assured Piper, knowing it was true. He could bluster and yell insults as much as he wanted but he was the first to investigate any noise, the first to take the others outside without her asking, and she had woke up on a few occasions to already thawing food for her boys. Piper would be adored at her house, she had no doubt. "We're going to meet Currant."

Marmalade was shamelessly snickering over Piper's nickname for the Coral, slithering along as she walked towards the van. It was a dirty thing, big enough to transport her collection of Lamia and the large amount of groceries she got monthly. Some curious Lamia had slithered close, likely to scent the new smells she'd brought around, and Currant could be seen in the front seat. His face was barely visible over the door, just eyes and the dome of his skull. Well, what wasn't covered by the blanket he'd been snuggled in. His deep red eye lights enlarged when he spotted Val.

Before they even got to the van, Currant was bolting out and winding around her legs. Val laughed, petting Trousle and Piper while Currant made himself at home around her ankles and knees. He shamelessly slithered up her legs and wrapped around her torso, clinging in the way he was used to. The fact she had other Lamia didn't bother him in the slightest. His purrs were deep and happy, gloved phalanges kneading in her shirt and sneakily petting Trousle and Piper.

"And this is Currant," she told Keith, completely wrapped in Lamia but loving it. Her current situation was nothing out of the ordinary, after all. "He's still a little anxious but he's such a sweet little gem!"

"spoiled, ya mean."

"jealous?" Currant grinned, both golden fangs on full display. "sup. 'm currant."

*

Safely riding on a human, Trousle looked around, trying to take in all he could of the big, wide world. And it was definitely big! It was hard to imagine that even this much existed! It was all so exciting! His tongue was flicking in and out, trying to catch every taste he could. Instinctively, he hissed when Currant moved so fast, rearing back, but let out little huffs as he laughed it off. His "voice" came from Keith's pocket as he said, "You startled me!"

Keith similarly had tensed up, not expecting the other to dart out like that, but relaxed just as quickly seeing Val react so well. "Aaaaw. Heh, he really likes ya. Man, he's a world different than Hux. Good to meet ya dude, I'm Keith."

"I'm Trousle! Er, I'm the Papython." Trousle said, leaning his head up to let Currant scratch some of his favorite spots.

"Oooooh! Curry! Curry's a Coral!" Piper gasped. He was partly hiding behind Val's neck, hoping that this Coral at least wouldn't make fun of him. Not that every single Coral did, but it was mostly corals. Still, he was getting pets, so maybe this one was a nicer one? His eyes closed as he let out happy little chirps, occasionally play-nipping at Currant's fingers.

Keith was just internally cooing. "Ya'll too dang cute. How dare. Geez..."

One of the local Cornies was trying to slither into Val's car, seeing a nice blanket and a warm, sunny nap spot, and a random Honeybo was trying to see if he could sneak stickers onto Currant's clothes.

*

Confined as she was beneath coils, Val couldn't do anything about the other Lamia clustering around. She made a careful mental note about the Corny but didn't attempt to prevent him from sleeping in the blanket pile, Lapis did just that. Before she left she would do a sweep of the van, to make sure she didn't have any tagalongs. Currant was well adjusted, careful work done to make sure he knew how to articulate and that he could always hide if it became too much for him. He was a far cry from the grumpy boy she'd brought home.

"sorry," Currant muttered, butting his nose against Trousle's back. "oh man, val! lapis woulda loved this."

"He would!" she chirped. "All the bitty Papython from his brother clutch got adopted out so I couldn't get one. He would love to have a Papy that would pester him awake, I just know it."

"maybe we can bring 'im next time," Marmalade shrugged. "make a day o' it. let everyone meet everyone."

"it'd be chaos," Currant deadpanned. "imagine sangria bein' around all these mamba? his tail is a lot nicer."

Well, Valerie didn't want to say that but she hadn't seen another Mamba with the same level of iridescence that Sangria had. Currant was drawn to Piper, the little Pygmy hidden from sight until a nip finally registered. Val mentally counted down, smirking with the knowledge that Piper looked like a true prize. Bright blue, even where his scales needed to shed, and so unique that Currant's eye lights swelled huge. He loved pretty, unique things.

"yer scales are pretty," he wheezed, shimmying closer to Piper. His instincts told him Piper was still young and he needed to shed those itchy, dull scales. So Currant just... gave a little lick. Val likened it to a mother cat bathing her young and it was adorable.

"Aren't they just the prettiest!" Val agreed. "All the others must be so jealous of such a handsome boy like Piper!"

*

Keith was helping that one Honeybo sneak stickers onto Currant. He was gonna be covered in glittery smiley faces and hearts by the time the conversation was over at this rate. Naturally, Keith regrets nothing about this... Okay, maybe he has one regret, but that's that they're stickering Currant like this and not Hux. It'd be hysterical seeing him turn red as he realized what had happened.

Trousle gives him a few little scratches in appreciation. "I might consider it! I'm just not sure about living so far away. Though I'd love to have a person! And it seems like you have quite the troupe!" If it weren't for the distance, he'd be on this faster than Liam was on a bowl of sour candies. "I'd love to meet him!" It was always nice meeting new friends! Or seeing old friends again, in some cases!

Keith chuckled, "I feel that. I wish I could vouch for Liam, but he can get a bit showy around other Mamba. I mean, and in general, but it's worse around his own. Though given that he was the only one to actually beat a goose, he might have a point." Sometimes Mamba and Kings were rented out for pest control... and occasionally Chains, when the pests in question were snakes.

Piper turned yet another gorgeous shade of blue in the face, partly covering his cheekbones as he squealed and chirped, not really sure what to do with all the sheer happy stuffed into his little body. Kid purred like a kitten as some of the scales peeled off, revealing the vibrant, fresh hues underneath. Shedding was always the worst, but also such a relief to get out of his too-small skin.

Keith mentally relaxed. Currant seemed like a pretty cool dude so far. "Dang you're too freaking sweet. Geez. Ya sure you didn't adopt a Papython?"

*

Currant was aware that he was being covered in stickers, this wasn't the first time he'd been on the recieving end of some shenanigans, but he had long since grown used to things like this. Val had taken great care in making sure he was capable of handling whatever could be thrown at him. She wouldn't let anyone tell her that he was too dangerous to go anywhere, his behavior would guarantee he made anyone that called him a menace eat their words. Grooming the young Pygmy was much more his speed, he tended to do the same with Lapis if he caught him in shed.

"Oh, Trousle, I know there's a human out there for all of you," Valerie assured him. She felt a little sad that she couldn't take every Lamia home... but maybe she could volunteer here, sometimes. "I'll bring Lapis next time. Even if I don't take you home you could always message him and be friends that way."

"ooooooh," Marmalade drawled, feeling the need to talk up his brother. "jus' a goose?"

"Marmalade, hush! They don't have a forest around here, not like Liam could hunt foxes like you and Sangria do. But I bet he'd catch one!" She didn't actually know if that was the case because she didn't know which Mamba was Liam but if he was anything like Sangria he would have a high prey drive. She had many hunted stuffed animals that were displayed around her home. "Piper... are you alright with Currant holding you? I'm going to grab some things."

Marmalade huffed, amused at Keith's comments towards Currant. "nah, he's a gremlin. val jus' hates how people talk shit 'bout currant when we go out so she helped him get better adjusted."

Said gremlin was carefully holding Piper, grooming the Pygmy with loud rumbles in his ribcage. Piper had Coral approval. Val opened the back of the van, grabbing a couple of bags that had some gifts she'd brought along. The whole reason she'd come to the park was to give some things to Lamia that didn't have homes. Marmalade took some of the bags while Val plucked a little red scarf out just for Trousle. It was made of a soft material and the shade of red was bright but not eye burning.

"You can have this, Trousle," Val announced, looping it loosely around him. "And you can help me hand out the other stuff! Maybe I have something for each of your friends."

*

Piper nodded, "Mm hmm! Like Curry! Is real nice." He was purring back, mostly letting Currant do his thing and thoroughly enjoying the attention, only squirming to give him better access to some of the scales that needed to come off. "Best Coral!"

Keith also felt the need to defend his own brother's honor, standing up and huffing, "I mean, if he hunted a dog, I think he would've gotten in trouble. People love those things! Also, have ya ever fought a goose? Those things will..." Shit there are children present. "They've got more teeth than we do. Some of which are on their freaking tongues. I have questions for whoever thought up geese, 'cause they're nightmare birds. Dude's pretty dang cool if ya ask me."

"Thank you, I'd love to meet him and see you again! But I'm not sure that anyone would want, well... Us. We're kind of weird, honestly. I mean, I'm mute for starters, and, well... But maybe there's a human that lives here, at least who could take me! Then I could visit a lot, probably! Or I guess I could live with Nikolai, but I think he wants to focus more on Maia right now." Trousle said. His head darted up as he caught a familiar scent. "Oh! Alex is here! Hi!"

Keith's soul skipped a beat as he looked over and saw her. "Howdy. Heh, good to see ya."

"Look! I just got a scarf!" Trousle wound the scarf around himself, arcing himself up to show himself off. The scarf fluttered in the breeze; he had stars in his eyes.

"Oh my gosh! That's so cute!" Alex squealed.

"Right? Heh, this is Val. She's from out of town."

"Oh! Good to meet you! I'm Alex. I'm from in town! Or at least from the suburbs."

Keith got a little closer to Alex, not enough to crowd her, but enough to feel close. "Wasn't sure if ya'd make it honestly."

"I've got Fridays off dude. 'Course I came!"

*

"heh, i like ya too kid," Currant mumbled, taking Piper's directions to heart and moving to a new patch of dull scales. Piper wasn't the first Pygmy that Currant had been around but he was the youngest and he needed to be protected and cared for. He was so invested in his task that he ignored Keith and Marmalade's posturing.

"we've hunted geese before," Marmalade snorted, puffing his chest out. "val don' care what we eat out in the woods. they're bears an stuff out there too."

Not that Sangria or Marmalade had hunted full grown bears but if they had snatched a cub or two from a mother before they ran her off. Well...

"Anyone who judges you for what makes you unique can get punched in the kidney," Val grumbled, momentarily sour over just the thought of anyone thinking ill of Trousle and his friends. "You'll get adopted, I know it. Sweet guy like you? Pfft, you'll find the best human out there."

Valerie was kind of nervous around another person but Alex didn't seem like a very mean person and she had similar taste in what looked adorable on Trousle. Anyone that could enjoy these Lamia as much as Val did wasn't capable of being a bad person. So she gave a little wave, petting Currant's head to soothe her own nerves.

"I'm Valerie," she greeted, tugging on her stretched lobes. "You can call me Val, though. Everyone else does. I was just about to hand out some presents to the Lamia here."

"we're from a few states away," Marmalade supplied. "'m marmalade, the coral is currant.... an it looks like we'll be adopting piper today."

"As soon as I hand out the gifts I'll look for Nikolai."

*

Piper absolutely beamed up at him, making the task of grooming him slightly harder as he insisted on trying to hug and give little nuzzles and licks to Currant's face. He was trilling in joy, already enamored with this big Coral who had decided he was a cute lil guy. Maybe he was going to get adopted! This was so exciting!

"Have ya ever wrestled a burglar? 'Cause I know Liam has. He ain't supposed to kill, so had to hold back on the venom and everything. Dude had a gun." Or, well, a taser, but Liam didn't find that out until after the police had already taken the guy into custody.

Trousle blushes, signing a quick thank you at her and sinking into the warmth.

"Really? That sounds terrifying," Alex said.

"Eh, you know how Liam is. He's a cool dude," Keith said. "Got him before the rest of us even realized we were in danger, he's just that cool."

"Heck yeah," Alex said. She looked at Piper being groomed by Currant and grinned, "Aaaw, they're really getting along, huh? Guess I won't be casting Divine Intervention anymore."

Keith laughed at the memory, "I don't think it ever actually helped."

"It was cute though!" Alex said. "But I'm glad he's getting someone. Little guy seems pretty happy! Trousle too. You thinking of adopting him?" There was a bit of an edge in her voice. She didn't want to admit that maaaaybe she'd been considering the little guy...

Keith swooped in, "Nah. He'd rather stay local."

Relief washed through Alex alongside guilt at being relieved, "Gotcha. Can't say I blame ya. It's nice being near friends, isn't it?"

Trousle nodded. "Maybe we can all get adopted together?"

"I'm sure someone would try!" Alex said. She was keeping a bit of a distance from Currant, which Keith noticed...

"This is Currant. Dude's a sweetheart to lamia and humans alike." He knew that she wasn't oblivious to Hux's opinions, even if she wanted to hang around the rest of them enough to deal with it.

Alex nodded, "Nice. Good to meet ya then!"

*

Currant finally seemed to twig to the fact that there was another person around, turning his large eye lights onto Alex for several moments while Piper nuzzled him. His teeth parted and he could smell her nerves, not an unusual occurence whenever someone happened to be around him. It wasn't even Currant's fault. Coral Lamia were known for their tempers and nobody would look at him and think he was different than his species. He made no move to attack, content to keep hold of Piper like Val wanted him to, but he wasn't instantly friendly either.

He just... stared. Gauging her.

"dude," Marmalade droned, looking incredibly done with the posturing already. "there's a reason Sangria is in charge of watching the house."

Which wasn't a lie. Val didn't often get trespassers on her proprty. Not ones that she was aware of, anyway. But there would always be people up to no good deep in the woods, where they thought nobody would find out what they wanted to do. Sangria and Marmalade had chased off their fair share of would-be burglars and wannabe hermits.

"Yeah, I'm gonna grab this little guy and take him home," Val booped Piper as she said it, enamored with his scales and his squeaks. "I would love to take Trousle, he's a sweetheart don't get me wrong, but I just feel that he's not for me. Ya know? I did wanna bring my Corny, Lapis, to meet him sometime! Maybe Admiral and Sangria too."

"'lo," Currant finally muttered.

"He really is a sweetheart, Alex," Valerie insisted, yanking her phone from her pocket and quickly scanning for pictures. She had plenty of snapshots of Currant and her other boys in various stages of absolute cuteness. Currant sleeping on Sangria's glittering scales, the Coral's blushing face when he got to eat his favorite snack, and the one memorable image she had of him dancing with her. "See? Corals are so sweet. Cute grumpy faces and all!"

"not cute," Currant grumbled.

"Cutest," Val sang, smooching his skull.

*

Keith realized he was going overboard a little and chuckled, “Guess ya got a point. Sorry, just think he’s pretty cool, y’know? Maybe ya’d like to meet him.” His soul twisted in sympathy for Currant. Poor dude… “Corals can be really sweet in general honestly, if ya can get through a layer or two of posturing. Currant seems better about that though.”

Alex grinned at the photos, bouncing a little in place at the cuteness. “Aaaaaw! That’s precious, oh my gosh. My heeeeeart!” She looked over at him, “Mind if I pet you? Sorry. Just not always good with people sometimes…”

Keith gave her a lazy hug from behind her, “Eh, ain’t for everyone.” He’d been around her enough to know that she at least couldn’t get along with Hux. She didn’t mean to, but she tended to rub Hux the wrong way. Though Hux sometimes seemed to be looking for reasons to snap at her. Still, what was he supposed to do? Kick out his soul-bond, or kick out his best friend?

“Yeah, but I just feel bad…”

“Don’t. Hux just ain’t great with humans. Currant is.”

*

Before Marmalade could comment on how it would be cool to meet another Mamba, Val piped up with an affirmative. "We'd love to meet Liam! He sounds super cool."

Currant puffed up at what he took as praise, knowing he was arguably the best Coral around. He still had his days where he tended to want his space but they were few and far between now. The people that wouldn't give him a chance just because he was a Coral were missing out. Alex had calmed down once she'd seen his general cuteness so he offered his head for a pet, making sure to keep Piper safely tucked against his chest.

"Don't feel bad about not getting along with everyone," Valerie tried to soothe. She didn't know Alex very well but she didn't want any awkwardness between their mismatch group. "I worked a lot with Currant. Maybe you won't ever be best friends with Hux but you can learn when he needs his space! It might not seem like a big step but it's something to keep in mind."

Marmalade nodded along, having plenty of experience with all kinds of Corals. Some were sweet and just couldn't communicate what they wanted but there were others that earned their bad reputation. Unfortunately, that bad reputation was more common than the good because they were such a naturally emotionally constipated Lamia.

"here we go..." Marmalade muttered.

"I have some stuff Hux might like," Val confessed. "If he's the type to enjoy a treasure hoard or blankets and stuff. I have a lot of Lamia stuff that none of my boys wanted so it should get put to good use!"

*

Keith grinned, “Oh yeah, he’s cool.” Being a lazy bastard who didn’t want to stop this conversation, he just texted Nikolai to send Liam this way.

Alex stroked Currant’s head, smiling. “You’re really good with these guys, aren’t you? I don’t think I have quite the same knack for it, but I like visiting and stuff! Nikolai lets me in the nursery sometimes and it’s absolutely precious! Baby Lamia are adorable!” She was bouncing on her feet again as she scratched underneath Currant’s chin. Piper was also getting in on the affection, giving Currant little pats and purring.

“He does have a little hoard, I bet he’d enjoy it! He can be kinda prickly though. Don’t take it personally,” Keith said. “He’s just like that.”

A Mamba of about average size came over and cleared his throat to announce his presence, splaying out to show off his scales as he set his head on his hands all sassy-like. “I heard I was called~?” He was keeping his good side towards Val and Currant, not that the hole in his skull was particularly noticeable, he was wearing his fitted mold today. It was a bit hard to make out the tacky substance holding it in place through the layer of bone-colored makeup, but he couldn’t hide that one of his eyes were dark.

Keith slithered over to cover Liam’s bad side out of protective instinct and habit. He was fairly certain there was no sneaking up on the dude anyways - he’d gotten crazy good at feeling vibrations in the ground - but it made them both feel a little better. “This is Liam.”

“Good to meet you~”

*

"I did a lot of research before I decided to adopt," Val admitted, plucking nervously at her sleeves. Currant was basking in the attention he was getting, more tolerant than blatantly loving having someone else patting him. Alex was gentle with her pets so he didn't attempt to pull away. The words coming out of Alex's mouth finally registered and she wished she could have stars in her eyes when she heard about baby Lamia. Her voice was an excited whisper. "Baby Lamia?!"

Marmalade and Currant both rolled their eyes at her glee, knowing that she should never be allowed to see the babies or they would never get her to leave. Valerie already adored bitty sized Lamia but if you added in babies... she would be a goner.

"we got some geodes," Marmalade told Keith. "coupla things that any coral would love to have in their hoard. currant don' collect 'em as much since his hoard got too big to fit 'em all in his nest."

A new arrival pulled Valerie's attention away from talk of babies and she brightened immediately. It might have been biased but she felt like Sangria's scales were a little glossier than Liam's, not that she would tell him that. She didn't react at all to the site of one darkened socket, used to Admiral's darkened socket looking in her direction. Marmalade was careful about how he slithered, not knowing how Liam might react to movement he couldn't see.

"You're a very handsome Mamba, Liam," Val complimented, the words nearly second nature after dealing with Mamba for so long. "The way you hunted was really impressive!"

*

Alex kept scratching, watching her hands instead of looking to Val as she said, “They’re SO CUTE! I’d offer to show you, but Nikolai might try to kill both of us… Keith took me there to meet him and I thought he’d bite my head off, but he apologized afterwards! He’s really protective of them though, like, murderously protective.”

Keith grinned, “Daaaang. He’s gonna love that! And if he’s pissy about it, I’ll gladly take them instead…” Subtle dude. Subtle.

Liam took good care of himself, but he couldn’t stand up to Sangria in size or shine. That said, he would absolutely try to fight Sangria anyways if given the chance.

Liam stood up, hands on his hips and chest puffed out, moving his tail to make his scales glimmer. “Glad to see someone can recognize a hunter around here.” There was still a bit of blood on his teeth where he’d bitten the goose and hadn’t completely managed (or wanted) to lick it away. “Do I smell another mamba on you? You’ve got good taste, but I bet I could take him.”

Keith sighed, “Liam, don’t…”

“I’m just saying!” Liam huffed.

“It’d a sight to see,” Alex said neutrally.

“How big is he anyways? Four foot?” Oh Liam noooooooo… He’s huge sweetheart.

“I maybe should’ve warned ya that he can be competitive with other mambas,” Keith said.

“It’s not my fault they’re all so spoiled.”

“You literally have plush pillows and a heated blanket in your enclosure,” Alex said.

“And I hunted them myself!” Liam said, arms crossed and grinning. “I can take care of myself just fine, unlike those little pipsqueaks. Losing to a goose, hah!”

Keith was realizing he should’ve let Liam cool down more first. He’d just proved superiority over his breed and wasn’t gonna shut up for a while, was he?

*

"Oh, I don't want to make Nikolai angry! I'd ask first, of course." She might not have had any experience with Kings but she knew that anyone who was charged with protecting babies would have their instincts dialed up to max. Add on the fact that some Mamba would gladly eat the babies... she didn't blame Nikolai for getting angry that Alex had been brought around the younger Lamia without him approving it beforehand. Piper was close enough to a baby for her, for now, and that was all she needed if she wanted to be able to leave. "I'd never leave if I saw them now."

"if he don' take 'em he's got awful taste in treasure," Currant grumbled, giving Keith a grumpy look. Yeah, he was onto you buddy.

Now Liam had touched on a weakness of Valerie's. She loved to talk about her boys and Sangria was among the prettiest Lamia she had ever seen. Sure, he had knicks and scars from his tousles in the woods but she still adored how he shined in the light. When Liam mentioned smelling another Mamba on her, well, she lit up. Marmalade chuckled, knowing she was almost as bad as he was for bragging about Sangria. Nevermind the fact that Liam was declaring he could fight a Mamba larger than himself. It would be funny to see them posture at each other.

"Oh, don't worry! Sangria, that's my Mamba, is pretty good around other Lamia so I wouldn't worry." She giggled at the guess at Sangria's size, finding the isea of a Mamba that small to be hilarious. Liam was shorter than Val was tall! "Oh no, Sangria is seven feet long. Or there about!"

"maybe a few inches longer," Marmalade tacked on.

"Maybe," was Valerie's agreement. "Sangria protects the house and the property. I live on a couple of acres of forested land and it would really suck if I had wild animals stalking me when I went outside!"

She may or may not have been teasing Liam, just a little, to see how riled she could get him. Just enough he might show off some more!

*

“Oh definitely,” Alex said. “He probably wouldn’t say yes until he knows you better though.”

“Not gonna lie, that first meeting was me being dumb. Shoulda told him I was bringing her, but still took a few months,” Keith said.

“Oh yeeeeeeah! Nick went HISSSSS!” Piper said. “I was there! Mm hmm!”

“Were you one of the ones curled on him?” Alex asked.

“Mm hmm! Was hiding. Am a sneaky!” Piper said, hands on his hips.

“Ya sure are kiddo,” Liam said, giving the world’s gentlest fistbump to the kid. He moved around a little, getting a look at the car and taking in some of the scents, curious about this new place, aaaaand… “Are these what you were talking about? I might keep them for myself honestly.” Liam had 100% actually stolen the geodes while you were watching him, somehow. He’s the real sneak.

“Liam no,” Keith said, trying to stifle a laugh. “I called them first.”

“Finders keepers~” He held the rocks to his chest, sticking his tongue out at poor Keith. “I bet that Sangria can’t manage that. Maybe he’s bigger, but I could slither circles around him! He wouldn’t even know what hit him! Size isn’t everything, after all.”

Keith couldn’t help himself, “Then why is Nikolai the only one who can tell ya what to do and you listen.”

Even from here, it was plain to see that Nikolai was on the larger end of the spectrum for Kings, a good foot or two larger than even Sangria.

“His bite is worse than his bark, when he chooses. I’m not suicidal,” Liam said. “He’s worse than anything that could possibly be in your woods! Just let me come over one day and I’ll make the whole forest bow to me!”

“Huh, I thought he was playing a Sorcerer, not a Druid,” Alex said.

“… no fireballs irl,” Keith said, secretly a little terrified by sudden mental picture of Liam with fire magic… or a flamethrower.

“Not yet at least!” Liam said, almost certainly unable to actually follow through with that threat. “I just need to trace myself back to a dragon…”

*

"That's fine, I'm probably gonna come back a few more times!" Considering she was looking to take Piper home, she wouldn't deprive him of coming back to visit the place he'd called home for the start of his life. She may have hated interacting with people in large number but being surrounded by Lamia was leagues better than that. It helped that these guys were all hilarious. Valerie had only passing knowledge of DnD so she kept that to herself, lest they assume she was going to be able to come and join their games. Sure, that would have been fun but...she lived too far away and worked too much for it to be consistent.

Currant was slightly wary when Liam got close to Piper, edging back just a hair, but the little Pygmy didn't seem anxious so he kept his hissing to himself. He did end up scooting backwards a little so his tail could coil around Valerie's legs once again. Unlike his first meeting with Sangria, Currant wasn't mesmerized by the sight of Liam's scales.

"Are you sure you want the geodes?" Val asked, biting her cheek to keep from grinning. She wasn't surprised that Liam had managed to grab the geodes, those had been with Marmalade and her Chain was always weak for the wiles of a Mamba. It was a good thing she had kept the Mamba specific treats. "I mean...I was going to give you a bag of candy."

"warheads," Marmalade tittered, knowing her usual bribe when she wanted to convince Sangria to do something. "she woulda got toxic waste but sangria thinks the package is ugly."

"Sorry, Liam, I think Piper is the only dragon here." Val outright laughed, petting Piper along the length of his spine. "Actually confirmed dragon. The best dragon."

All this talk of Kings was making her want one, deep in her mind, but she knew that Sangria wasn't ready for another large and possibly aggressive Lamia.

"But you guys could come over to see the forest, if you want. So long as you had permission to leave."

*

"Bring your Corny next time! He was... Azul?" Trousle said, drawing a blank on the name. He remembered it had to do with blue at least? "I'd love to meet him!"

"And I'll gladly settle it on who'd win," Liam said. "It'll be me, of course, but he can certainly try!" He was internally considering the trade... The geodes were gorgeous, of course, but sour candies. His mouth was already salivating, and catching the scent on his tongue didn't help in the slightest. "I think that'd be a fair trade..." Liam said, keeping his eye trained on the delicious candies while he handed back the geodes. The second they were in his hands, he bolted away a few feet, intent on keeping his prize. Immediately he ripped the bag open, sticking a candy in his black-coated mouth and crunching down on it. He took more time with the next candy, letting it dissolve to savor it, but he kept the pack on his good side, just in case any of the smaller upstarts got any funny ideas...

Piper chirped happily, "Yeah! Yeah yeah! I'm the best dragon! RAAAWR!!!" He pretended to breathe fire, wiggling lightly in place.

"Wouldn't mind getting out a little more. Real trees are way better than fake ones," Keith said.

"I'll decimate it," Liam purred. "I'll ask about it. It'd be nice to get to stretch my tail. Rabbits and geese are nice and all, but I've always wanted to go after a wolf. Or maybe a buck!" They wouldn't just let him loose on the countryside to roam free, or he'd try catching one in the state (plus there were laws and legal issues about it), but if he was temporarily under the jurisdiction of another....

*

"Lapis?" Valerie reminded. It was a point in his favor that Trousle even remmebered that her boys were usually named after colors. Obscure colors were something she took great delight in making into names. "I'll bring him! I would have brought him along this time but he'd have eaten the snacks I brought for the Cornies here."

Although it was looking like Trousle and all his friends were going to be getting everything she'd brought! It was nice to have her presents appreciated. Particularly when Liam made the trade for the candies and she was once more in possession of the geodes. She could see a few Mamba with their tongues flicking, likely already aware of the treats, but Liam seemed intent on keeping them all to himself. Sangria was similar at first, hoarding his sour prize away from anyone else, but now that he was the only one in the house that ate sour candy he was less aggressive about it.

Currant cooed at Piper, nuzzling him. Marmalade made a dramatic attempt at ducking the pretend fire, a hand over his soul and widened eyes. "whoa, kid. watch the fire."

"an then there's the baskin' rock," Currant whispered, giving the coveted rock its due by his hushed tone. "'s right outside val's work window, gets light all the time."

"sangria loves that rock."

"I certainly have a lot of trees," she told Keith. "Caves too, decorated for whenever the boys need some space and wanna sleep outside. And no neighbors so...you could absolutely hunt whatever you wanted, Liam."

Valerie didn't know the particular laws about hunting local wildlife but she'd made sure that her local rangers knew she had Lamia that hunted in her woods. Of course, she also kept plenty of contacts so she could purchase live food if they didn't go hunting.

*

"Yes, him! I'll get it sometime!" Trousle said. "Understandable too! Leave some for Oozy! I think he's in the lake right now."

That Corny who had previously been napping stirred upon hearing that there were snacks for cornies. "Mine?"

Liam was absolutely keeping these all to himself, just as he always did. One of the younger lamia - not quite at their adult height yet - loudly called him out on it... So he sat on him, cackling and putting another candy in his mouth while the smaller one screeched... But there were multiple mamba in one place. There was no stopping the swarm. They'd smelled candies and saw them in the hands of That Jerk, so it was a matter of seconds before they put aside their differences and all decided to tackle and constrict Liam at once. A dozen or so bony hands all scrabbled for the remaining candies as Liam screeched about dishonor, cheating, and betrayal.

Keith was laughing his ass off and being of absolutely no help whatsoever. Alex was trying to hide it, but she was absolutely laughing too.

Piper saw the action happening and tried to wiggle over, not wanting to be left out of this game.

*

"I'll tell him all about you," Valerie promised. She gave a delighted little sound, bringing out the little melonpan she normally reserved for Lapis (and herself, she loved the ones with custard inside). They were a little big for bitty sized Corny Lamia but Lapis had never seemed to care about that and she doubted her little stowaway would. "Here you go, a token of confection that's Corny approved."

Marmalade, Currant, and Valerie all turned to the Mamba shenanigans and none of them attempted to hide their amusement. Looks like the pack had decided to overthrow their ruler when it came to the unfair division of the coveted sour candies. She had expected something like this but Sangria had only been convinced to part with one bag of his favorite, all the other sour things she had were less sour. It didn't make them less sought after among Mamba, or so she'd found, so she set the bag down for perusal.

"careful, kid," Currant said but he didn't hold Piper back for long. A Pygmy that wasn't allowed to zoom could become quite the sassy thing. Despite letting Piper go, Currant stayed close by in case he needed to snatch him away from a bad situation.

"guess we should summon the hoards to get their gifts," Marmalade said. "before we get swarmed like liam."

*

The stowaway very much didn't care! He was a snake, and he'd stuff himself as much as he could! Sometimes. When wanting sweets overcame being lazy at least. Caught up in the treat, he took a minute to notice the pun, but he broke into a grin and started laughing into the treat as he did, falling into a happy, laughing lump. He couldn't even top that! "Like you!"

Liam whined as his rightful treats were stolen from him. He managed to shake some of the mamba off, but it was hard when they were ganging up to beat him! "Not fair!" He could take two, maybe three, but there were at least six!

Piper zoomed over to help tame Liam, making little roars and holding onto his arm, play nipping his clothes. He was being no help whatsoever, but was sure having fun doing it!

Alex nodded, "Oh yeah. I don't wanna get caught in the snake swarm. Or at least not in this way."

*

Honestly, Valerie felt a flood of warmth in her chest at just how happy the Corny was. He made her miss Lapis, knowing her little prankster would have been punning away at her. Lapis was the whole reason she'd gotten so deep into pun hell in the first place. She couldn't resist petting his little head, expression going soft and fond. "Thanks, bud. I like you too."

Currant huffed, sparing a warning glance towards Val so she didn't get any funny ideas. Lapis was already a massive handful when he got into the mood to dish out chaos, they didn't need him to have a partner in crime. Speaking of pranks... Lapis would likely have a lot of chaos to rain upon the inhabitants of this adoption center.

Marmalade took the initiative to wrap the geodes into his coils so they wouldn't be snatched up. The bags had other shiny things that some of the Lamia might enjoy hoarding but the geodes were going to be offered to Hux first. And if Hux didn't want any then Keith would get to take what he wanted, provided Liam didn't get them first. Once they were safely tucked away in his grip, he nodded at Valerie.

"Hey!" she called, hands cupped around her mouth so she could gain the attention of every Lamia around. "I got some presents! Candy, blankets, and anything you might want."

Then...then she braced for the swarm. And oh, what a swarm it was.

*

HOPE YOU WERE PREPARED FOR THE SWARM.

Alex stands a bit away, having fun watching but a little overwhelmed at even the idea of being in the middle of all that... No thanks. Keith cuddles her by the sidelines, content to watch as well. Piper is chirping back at all the lamia, going absolutely nuts trying to catch absolutely everyone. Pygmy or not, he'll definitely need a nap when all this is over. Liam nurses his wounded pride off to the side.

The sheer numbers of the swarm draws over Nikolai, though he hangs back and lets the rest take their picks. He's very well cared for, after all. He just waits until the herd thins to introduce himself. "Good to meet you. I'm Nikolai, vice manager of the company." His eyes dart over to all the happy lamia playing with toys, blankets, snacks, and his soul just absolutely melts. "You've made them quite happy. Thank you. It's good to meet you." He gives a little bow, bringing himself slightly lower than Val's level. Dude's absolutely huge, about twelve and a half foot total, and standing a little over six feet tall.

He'd probably be more intimidating if there weren't a handful of bitty kraits peeking out from his pockets, a mini-corny napping around his neck, a young chain wound around one of his arms, and a full grown honeybo deciding to be a cheeky bastard and flop down right over his tail.

"This would be the local mom-friend," Keith said. "I will say outright, you can't take him home with you. He lives with Maia already."

"That I do. She's having a lovely time really, it's good to see her getting to be out and about like this, and she's having fun seeing everyone else outside too." He spoke warmly of her, body relaxed as he turned to wave at her. She was sitting on a bench with a corny curled up next to her like a scaly house cat.

*

Valerie was completely prepared for the pure chaos. Toys getting snatched up and tossed around, blankets disappearing and reappearing in suspicious lumps, and the steady stream of content sounds that meant the candy and junk food snacks had been well received. She didn't back away when the swarm hit, used to being in the mix of large crowds. Currant was darting after Piper, keeping the Pygmy in his sights, but he lacked the energy to keep up that pace for very long. Marmalade tolerated the small hoard that had decided he made a good perch to get higher.

Nikolai is slightly intimidating by his sheer size but his tone and expression are both incredibly relaxed. It's easy to forget that he could very easily decide to take a bite out of her or drive her off. As much as she would have loved to fawn over him, Valerie kept her interaction with Nikolai friendly and semi profressional. Keith had already mentioned that Nikolai helped Maia so it had been easy to guess that he must already have a home.

"It's nice to meet you, too. I'm Valerie." She can't resist leaning forward to quietly greet the Kraits that she saw peering from Nikolai's pockets. He certainly looked like a mom, with all sorts clamoring over his bulk. "It's my loss but I don't think Sangria is ready for me to bring another large boy home."

Now she found her nerves kicking in, nails lightly scratching at her left wrist until Marmalade grabbed her hand. Their bond pulsed gently with confidence, his soul telling her that she could do this.

"Keith was telling me that I should talk to you about adopting Piper," she finally rushed out. "Sorry. How could I say no to such an adorable guy?"

*

The kraits waved back. Mostly. One got shy and hid his face, he seemed younger than the rest, not used to strangers at all yet.

Nikolai spotted the little one and smiled, “I see you’ve adopted before.” His tongue flicked out, but he couldn’t even hope to pick out what all Val had after that swarm. It was a jumbled mess of tastes that felt so very much like home. “And they look to be getting along well too. It’s always for the best when people bring their Lamia and/or pets, that way we can be sure they’ll get along, but I see we’ll have no issues.”

Piper was trying to keep awake, wanting to be part of the fun, but all the excitement was starting to tire him out. He was wrapped loosely around Currant and yawned, doing that thing kittens do when they try to fight sleep. His head bobbed up and down, eyes fighting to stay open, but sleep was intent to steal him.

Nikolai couldn’t help but coo over it, “Aaaaw. Nyeheheh. I knew Piper wouldn’t be staying too long, but he looks pretty happy, and you seem to know what you’re doing.” He wasn’t willing to completely streamline the process, but honestly? She seemed perfectly ideal, provided… “I will say that he might need a bit of extra care for his scale condition. The scales on his bones might shed more frequently or out of synch with the rest, that’s nothing to be concerned about. Likewise, it’s not unheard of for scale patches to flake off entirely, though the area where it was might be softer and more prone to infection or injury for a day or two. But it’s equally likely he might grow more scales over his bones. The areas where bone and scales meet do get irritated sometimes, especially since dirt likes to get stuck there. Clean it carefully with a q-tip and apply ointment and he’ll be fine.” It was his first priority, after all, yo make sure he was cared for. “We have a spare tube of the cream we’ve been using on him. If you’ll come inside, you can have it for free, my treat.”

He turned to look at the honey-bo half-assedly pretending to be asleep (he had one eye peeked open, looking right at him, and was grinning), rolled his eyes, and gently removed him.

Piper had utterly lost the fight against sleep, completely conked out while snuggled with Currant.

Alex took a picture. How could she not?

*

As adorable as the Kraits were, Val was careful not to overwhelm them with her attention. She didn't want to risk paying one so much attention they got sad if she didn't take them home with her. Besides, Nikolai was talking and it felt more important to hang onto what he was saying.

"Yeah, almost all my boys are adopted from a center but I do have a rescue." Nikolai had a way about him that made her more willing to talk about Admiral than she had before. "My full-size Pygmy, Admiral, was given to me by some kid at a park. His family was using him as a free babysitter and one of the kids cracked his eye open, so his left socket is empty. He's come a long way since then."

Piper's crash came at a perfect time. Currant was also getting tired but far older and capable of resisting passing out after some play. He pet Piper instead, hoping to ease him into sleep easier. Poor guy was likely going to deal with similar crashes for a while once he met Sangria, the Mamba had the most energy out of any Lamia Currant have ever met.

"I figured he would have some special needs," Valerie admitted. She didn't know what the condition was but she had noticed Piper had scales on his bones that seemed itchy but it didn't seem he was in a full shed. The grooming necessary wasn't anything she didn't already do for Sangria, though it would likely take far less time for Piper. "I already have a brush to get dirt from scales, my Mamba insists on being groomed at least twice a week so I have tons of supplies I can use for his scales. I can always message you if I have more questions about how to care for his scales."

Since all the gifts had been handed out she put the bags into the van and closed it up again, grabbing Currant so he could once more settle around her. He was grateful for the reprieve from having to slither after them when he was already tired. If Liam thought Mamba were spoiled he was in for the true spoiled boy of Val's.

Holding onto Currant had the added benefit of allowing her to keep an eye on Piper. "Lead the way."

*

“How many do you have, if I may ask?” Nikolai said. He asked partly out of curiosity, and partly to make sure she wasn’t getting into more than she could handle.

He hissed under his breath heating about Admiral, “Some people… ugh! I won’t say it’s the worst possible idea, I’m technically a service Lamia myself, but I’m certified, an adult, and, well… I’m well aware that I’m bigger than most people. But even then, there’s a difference between that and being a babysitter!” He did his best to keep his anger in check, well aware that he could be terrifying and not wanting to scare Val or anyone currently present. He sighed, trying to let some tension go, “I’m not mad at you of course. I’m mad at those imbeciles! But it sounds like he’s in better hands now. Do you think he’ll be okay having a little one around after that though? I know Piper isn’t exactly a human child, but…” He had to ask these things, of course.

Nikolai let’s her into the shop. It’s mostly empty, but there’s still a person at the cash register. A few Lamia run around the front, bitty and full-sized alike, but the vast majority are outside. A few chirp hellos at Val, some hide, everyone’s got their own thing.

Nikolai motions to let her further in, past a door saying “Full sized area” and then to a supplies closet. He pulls out a tube of cream and a little pamphlet. “Here. I’d had this prepared for whoever might adopt Piper. It gives a basic overview, some good links, and diagrams.” It’s got the name of the condition on it (whatever that is… names are hard) and is smattered with images of Lamia with scales growing over bones. One extreme case, a Krait apparently, had scales covering his full body.

Meanwhile, that Corny was absolutely still napping in the car. He’d moved away from the blankets, finding a shady, safely enclosed spot to sleep off his food-coma: the glove box.

*

"I have five boys, currently," she admitted, knowing it might seem like a lot to the casual asker. "But I work from home so I have plenty of time for all of them and a few more."

She was of a similar mind when it came to what a full-sized should do. One as large as Nikolai could be a service Lamia because he was of a size where he wasn't likely to be taken advantage of my humans. But a Pygmy like Admiral was nowhere near large enough to babysit human children, regardless of how much energy he possessed. She could also understand his concerns of whether or not Admiral would be able to handle having a young Lamia in the house but this was one thing she had tested. "Admiral is fine with all Lamia, even young ones. It's just human children he panics around. Piper already has experience with Liam so seeing Admiral with one blank socket shouldn't startle him."

Currant looked around the center, more at ease since he knew that Valerie wouldn't drop him off here, but wasn't overly concerned with anyone who greeted Val. He rather liked that his human was so coveted by other Lamia but had chosen him instead.

"You take such good care of everyone here," she told Nikolai. "It's no wonder everyone respects you... I'm happy to be good enough for Piper, thank you."

Since she has her arms full, Marmalade takes the tube and pamphlet from Nikolai and puts them carefully into one of his jacket pockets. Valerie will obsess over them later.

"anythin' piper might wanna have when we go?" her Chain asked Nikolai. "he's young so a new place might be scary."

*

Nikolai looked worried at first, but nodded when he heard her situation. “He’ll have company then, that’s good.”

“They live in the woods too, so the bigger, stronger ones have room to hunt,” Keith said.

Nikolai smiled, “Great to hear then. That is one of the downsides of cities, it’s hard to let all of these guys outside as much as they ought to.”

It seemed like she had everything in order then. Admiral would be fine, she had a good track record, Piper seemed to love her and her Lamia already, and even asking for something for him. “I think I know. Give me a minute, I’ve got to go get it.” He slithered off towards the nursery, looking around for one particular toy…

And in the meantime, Hux had caught scent of a human and unfamiliar Lamia. “Heh… Surprised to see you in here. Figured you’d be outside. Like, most of us who ain’t out there are fine staying here y’know.”

Keith bit back a sigh, putting on a lazy smile instead, “And that’d be Hux.”

“Yo,” Hux said. His eyes wandered to Trousle, who was still casually draped on Val, and his soul dropped. He picked up Trousle and stuck Trousle on his own neck instead. “There. Better.”

“I was fine over there too.” Trousle said.

“Yeah, well… Yer with me now.”

*

"Yeah, I have a lot of space." She rushed to assure Nikolai. "Honestly, I think Sangria wants me to have a gaggle of Lamia sometimes. He acts like he hates when I bring someone new around but he's the biggest mom in my house. Piper won't ever be in danger with all my boys, that's a promise."

"she drove kinda far to get us from our center," Marmalade revealed with a shrug. "plenty of stuff to hunt but we got safe havens set up all over the woods. pretty sure at least a couple of wild lamia have taken refuge in our caves too."

The whole situation was exciting. Piper was adorable and he would encourage Currant into being more active without bribery, since it seemed he'd taken an intense liking to the little Pygmy. Currant's coils tightened around Valerie's waist, his sockets narrowing at the arrival of another fucking Coral. He wasn't threatened, Val didn't seem to notice Hux was there yet, but he did make his displeasure known with a single warning hiss.

"Oh!" Val startled, not expecting Trousle to be suddenly taken off her. She smiled at Hux, figuring he was treating her to the grumpiness she'd heard he was known for. "No, I'm not adopting anyone from inside! I was just getting some stuff for Piper, I'll be taking him home."

Currant narrowed his eyes even further, almost closing his sockets, and carefully situated Piper within his jacket so Hux couldn't grab him too. Marmalade rolled his eye lights towards Hux, keeping an eye on the situation in case he neeeded to diffuse any tension.

"Do you like Trousle's new scarf?" Val asked, turning to give Hux more attention while she adjusted her grip on Currant. "I had gifts for everyone. Liam almost took yours."

*

Nikolai couldn’t help grinning when he heard that. It sounded like a perfect environment with enough hunting Lamia to keep little and lazy ones safe.

Hux just laughed at Currant’s hiss. “I promise, I ain’t here to steal your bitch. You can keep her.” He was hesitant to take his eyes off the bunch, not sure how to feel about strange Lamia in his home, so he compromised and brought Trousle up to look at him. “Looks good on ya, Trus. Compliments your scales.”

Trousle beamed, hiking himself up to show off, throwing the scarf behind him like he was in a beauty commercial and it was long, flowing hair.

“Nice.” His pride wanted to not accept gifts… but his desire to hoard things won out. “That sounds like Liam alright. He calls himself a hunter, but pretty sure he’s just a fucking thief. Slick fucking bastard, thinking he’s the shit.” He lowered to a mumble as a dusting of red started to glow from his cheeks, “Just ‘cause he’s strong and could kill me with those fangs - thinks he’s so great. I’ll shove it down his throat sometime, but he’d probably just laugh and push me down. Fuckin…”

Keith was not the least bit oblivious to Hux’s crush, but chose not to comment on it… with other people there. In private, he’d gladly tease him mercilessly.

… okay, maaaaybe Keith couldn’t resist. “Dude fought through a flock of geese. Actually caught one or two. You should’ve seen it.”

“Of course he did!” Pause. “Did he save any?”

“Absolutely not, but maybe you can lick the blood off his fangs.”

Hux turned bright red, eyes going huge at the idea, and Keith laughed uproariously.

Desperately wanting to change the subject, Hux yelled out, “OKAY PRESENTS NOW.” But he couldn’t drown out Keith and glared at the traitor. “I hate you.”

*

Ah, now Alex's wariness made plenty of sense. Hux was one of those Lamia that had high defenses up at all times. Valerie wasn't surprised that he seemed particularly against her, either. She was a stranger and if he already didn't like humans then she was doubly on his shit list. It was a good thing she didn't have a burning need for him to like her, and being insulted wasn't new either.

Currant, on the other hand, never liked to hear her be insulted. He wasn't normally a very confrontational Lamia but he would happily throw his weight around if it meant she wasn't sad. His hidden bastard side came out to play the moment he sensed something that he could pick at, the only reason he didn't let loose on a barrage of verbal hatred was because Piper was there.

"hope ya never have kids with that mouth," Currant hissed, cupping a hand around where Piper's head was. Like that would prevent him from waking and hearing the garbage Hux was spouting.

Marmalade didn't understand the teasing. Of course Hux would want to mate with a Mamba, it just made the most sense. Sure, Liam wasn't as great as Sangria but a Mamba was a great catch as a bondmate. It likely helped that Liam and Hux were closer in size, any larger of a Mamba and Hux would be pining forever. But there was more important things to worry about, other than what some stranger wanted to mate with.

Hux had insulted Valerie.

At any other time, Marmalade might have let it go. He was a gentle Lamia at his core and Val really disliked when they fought but he was more than capable of defending himself and her. Better Marmalade take care of this than Sangria decide that Hux no longer deserved the pleasure of being alive. Should they ever meet, that is.

"dude," Marmalade deadpanned. His tail coiled around Val, a flash of warning in his gaze. "insult whatever human ya fancy but keep yer opinions on our human to yerself, got it?"

The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife... holy shit. "Anyway!" Valerie blurted, pulling one of the geodes out so Hux could see it. Hopefully nipping any fights in the bud. "I have some geodes. Liam seemed to think they were pretty and I'm sure that he would love whatever you didn't want."

Please, she mentally begged. Take them and don't fight.

*

Hux wasn’t so easily dissuaded, at least not from Marmalade. “Wow, geez. Ya don’t have to be so desperate to suck her lady-“

“HUX! CHILD!” Keith knew too well what was probably about to come from Hux’s mouth. “Also that’s just rude!”

Hux huffed. “Right right, whatever. Soul bonds and whatever, who needs that shit! You don’t, right?” He looked up at Keith, grinning in a fakely laid-back way.

Keith stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking away, “Right.” He was lying through his teeth.

“Bros before hoes,” Hux said. “But geez. That weirdo can’t keep her hands off nobody, huh? How do you guys stand that? She tastes like bug spray and dirt.”

Keith sighed, “She works outside.”

“Whatever.”

…

“Do you want the rocks?” Keith said. “No. I know you want the rocks. Are you gonna stop being a butt long enough to take them, or should I keep them forever?” He could take the guy’s vitriol, and he’d rather Hux come at him than the others. That shit could just roll off his scales, and they’d make up when he wasn’t as tense. The others didn’t have that option.

“… yes please,” Hux said, looking aside and blushing. “Oh. And good. I’d be a shit parent, mom or dad. Why have them anyways? Not like they wouldn’t end up being given out… But the rocks will be mine forever!”

*

Valerie usually had no trouble keeping her own vulgarity in check, because she didn't want any of the boys to pick up on her own foul mouth, but Hux was clearly deserving of a brand new title. It was a lot harder to insult her than it was to piss off her boys. Of course he would cause her filter to fly out the window. "Wow. You're a little shit."

Currant huffed, annoyed but amused at the same time. Hux was obviously no threat, likely all talk, so he was easily dismissed. At least by Currant. Marmalade, however, was giving Keith a peculiar look and making no secret of it. It was obvious that nobody else knew about the bond he shared with Alex and he was lying about it. Badly, at that.

Which, fair. Hux clearly didn't like humans for whatever reason and they did live in the same center. But to deny a soulbond... no Chain should ever want to do anything like that. Marmalade cocked his head, staring at Hux now and occasionally shifting his attention to Keith.

"every chain has a soulbond," Currant huffed, not paying attention to Hux but keeping half a mind on the conversation. "even a baby knows that. an unless yer bonded died they're out there."

Probably not the best thing to say but Val hoped to distract Hux with the geodes. Now it was her turn to be a bit of a little shit because he wasn't getting one unless he took it from her. She was likely just as used to hearing nasty comments from someone as Keith was. Hux kind of reminded her of her brothers, thinking that everyone wanted the same things out of life.

"I don't get the craze about having kids either," Val shrugged, waving a geode. "And they're geodes , not rocks. What kind of idiot do you take me for? Rocks can be found anywhere but geodes are rocks with crystals inside."

*

“I ain’t denying it,” he huffed. “Keeps the weirdos away.”

Keith couldn’t meet Marmalade’s eyes. He could guess we’ll enough what the other was thinking. Hiding a soul bond, he must be nuts! But he’s not even sure if it’s legit, not if Alex hasn’t said anything, and she hasn’t made any move to adopt either, so why get Hux all worked up?

“Yeah, well, either the fucker’s dead, or ain’t interested,” Hux said, curling protectively around Keith and hugging him insistently. “We’re lifers, right dude?”

“‘Course we are. Twenty-four years and nothing, why would there be…” Maybe it was just sheer desperation making him drawn to Alex. Maybe the cookies, or the dice. Could you be so wanting that you accidentally faked one with the wrong person just fo have something?

Hux went, “Pffft. A Crystal is a rock. It’s just a good rock. I mean, Great Danes are good dogs, but they’re still dogs. And hey, I ain’t above a rock collection…” He was still coiled around Keith, physically insisting on affection from the other (who, indeed, gave him a hug, stroking his skull) as he kept his eyes on the prize. “What do you say dude? Split ‘em best we can? Look like they come in halves, so I take one half and you the other?” It was like a friendship bracelet, but expensive and actually something they both wanted.

“Ya gotta convince her to give you your half first,” Keith said.

“You said you’d get them otherwise! So just give me half.”

“Eeeeh… I’ll consider it.” He was grinning cheekily, tongue flicking out as he leaned his weight against Hux.

“Rude.”

“I know ya are, I’m just another victim of gravity,” Keith said.

Hux was getting slowly crushed. “Why are you like this.”

“You looooove me.”

“Shut up… but yeah…”

*

Hux wasn't wrong. Being a little shit did keep the weirdos away. That was something Valerie knew from experience. She felt that, had things been different, she might have gotten along with Hux and even liked how blunt he was. The way Hux acted about humans and getting adopted made her wonder why he acted that way. Had something happened or had he just been passed up too many times?

Keith should certainly have been wary of meeting Marmalade's gaze because Marmalade was staring even harder. He doubted that the bond between Keith and Alex was fake, he'd never heard of a Chain that couldn't form that bond, so whatever foolish thoughts Keith was having were likely false. Unless... did Keith just not know anything about soulbonds? Humans didn't always feel it, especially if they were a little more on the dense side.

It would be a miracle if Marmalade kept his mouth shut.... and he just couldn't allow Keith to get away with denying it. "or the human jus' don' know what it feels like. ya can' acknowledge a bond without knowin' it's there."

"A crystal is not a rock," Val denied, already having researched this because Sangria hated rocks being in the house. "Crystals are made up of a highly ordered arrangement of atoms that repeat in a three dimensional pattern, they're closer to minerals."

The dedication Hux had for his friendships was admirable but he was still a little shit and he riled Val's inner sass to maximum levels. She still held the geode aloft, fully prepared to offer them to someone else if Hux continued to resist.

"I mean I guess if you're too chicken to grab one," she hummed, pretending to look around for someone else to give it to. "I can always find another Lamia that might want a geode."

"snrk!"

Trust Currant to recognize her game, she'd played it with him often enough.

*

“I guess?” Keith said. “Some people can have trouble with they stuff I guess…”

Trousle looked at Keith, unamused, “It’s not like it’ll change everything. You’re not a slave to it, you know.”

“Really? ‘Cause, uh… honestly, I don’t know how you guys do it,” Hux said, looking at Marmalade, “Or even why. Someone hijacks your soul and makes you feel shit, so you get closer and make it worse. Why deal with that? Why not just run and hope it goes away? ‘Cause it sounds like some kinda fucked up brainwashing to me.”

Keith kept his mouth shut. In the past he’d agreed with Hux to some extent, but now he wasn’t sure… Was that proof that Hux was wrong though, or that he was right and Keith was just falling victim to it?

While Keith was distracted, Hux tried to slither out from under him to grab the geodes, but Keith still had the presence of mind to flop down even harder, quietly delighting in the noises of rage even through his thoughts.

Nikolai finally walked back in - making Hux stiffen up because he was absolutely caught being a dick again - with a light blue teddy bear that looked like it’d been through its paces. The scent of home was soaked into it, and he’d noticed that Piper especially tended to like it. “Here. He likes curling around it when he’s tired or not feeling the best.” He’d gotten oddly protective of the toy at times, fending off those who’d try to hunt it. Best he could tell, he was trying to mimic Cobalt - the little mamba who defended him from teasing - but with Mr. Bluebeary.

“Now then, what exactly’s happening here?” Nikolai followed up.

“Keith’s crushing meeeeee,” Hux whined, making grabby hands for the geodes while trying to wiggle out. Maybe he could get sympathy?

“Hux is being rude.” Trousle said.

Nikolai was not remotely surprised. “Hux. Don’t be a jerk. Especially not if you’re the one seeking out the people!”

“I didn’t!”

“Why are you in the supplies closet then?”

“…”

Nikolai sighed. “Sorry about him. Are you all alright?”

*

"'s nothin' like brainwashin'," Marmalade said, a slight hiss in his tone. The very idea that he would be forced into a bond was insulting to everything that he was. It clearly showed that none of them understood the bond at all. If Keith did, he wasn't showing it. "the human has nothin' to do with the bond. 's all in the chain. we feel the bond an we decide if we forge it or not. 's a matter of feelin' complete, havin' someone that understands."

Trying to explain how right a completed bond felt was not dissimilar to attempting to explain astrophysics to a toddler. Marmalade's gaze was inevitably drawn to his bonded human, the one who had calmed his doubts and made him feel like he had worth beyond his species. He hadn't thought he would ever get a human either but Marmalade had known as soon as she walked in that she was his and that made her perfect.

"yer bonded fills a void you didn' know you had," he settled on. "but tha's not all they do. 's different for every chain. you jus'... you know tha' the human is fer you and that you would make their world brighter."

It was in no way accurate for what the bond was, any Chain would know that, but the soulbond wasn't so easily defined by one Lamia. What the bond meant to Marmalade would likely not be what it meant to Keith, or any other Lamia.

"Aw," Val cooed, tucking the bear into Currant's jacket so Piper could cuddle it in his sleep. "Thank you, Nikolai."

As much of a shithead as Hux was being, he still didn't deserve to be punished for caring about his friends and not wanting to be alone. So Valerie allowed him to try and hide his blunder, even if it didn't work, and didn't even try to hide her snicker. Hux may have been an asshole but he wasn't a complete lost cause.

"Clearly he wanted the geodes he must have smelled," Val countered. She was giving Hux an out, giving him a way so he didn't have to seem like he'd sought out a human and had just been drawn by presents. She did take pity on his woes and gently laid the geodes into his hands, a collection of them ranging in color and size. "He's quite the character, Nikolai. An absolute little shit."

"snrk!!"

"val," Marmalade laughed.

"I'm fine," she beamed. "Honestly, Hux may be a little shit but Keith seemed to have him well in coils."

*

Piper subconsciously coiled around Mr. Bluebeary in his sleep (apparently just absolutely exhausted since he slept through this), letting out a sleepy purr.

Keith should theoretically know better, and Nikolai and other Chain have told him better, but… Well, after all those years without one, all those years of him and Hux living together, all those years of watching others leave and clinging to those who’d probably stay…

It hurt less to convince himself that it was brainwashing. Hurt less to say he didn’t need one. Hurt less to pretend to pity those who went off happily with their bond mates instead of being jealous…

And then he found one, and she’s actually pretty sweet and fun and just a bit of a weirdo, just like them. Then he started looking forward to her coming. But the old thoughts still haunted his mind, saying he’d been forced into it, that it wasn’t real, but why not?

Keith kept his mouth shut on the matter.

Hux, thankfully, took the bait this time and decided to keep his mouth shut, instead greedily putting as much of himself as he could over the geodes as he inspected them. “Thanks.” His eyes were starting to go wide like Currant’s as he looked inside, peering at the crystals and the way they shimmered, catching the light. “Changed my mind. I ain’t sharing.” He was absolutely keeping these forever.

Nikolai attempted to stifle his laugh, but a chuckle still slipped through, “An apt description of him.”

“I love you, but yes,” Trousle said. Even he wouldn’t deny it.

“Eh… He’s my buddy,” Keith said. “Just a bit prickly.” He captured Hux further in a big hug. Only Hux’s head was sticking out now, the rest trapped under Keith. “Kinda a goober too.”

Hux pressed his face to the floor to hide the rising blush.

*

Currant cooed at Piper, delighted and so enthralled with having a young one to watch over that he didn't care about anything else. Didn't care about anyone else. Marmalade finally allowed the conversation about soulbonds to drop, feeling he had made his point. He peeked closer at Piper, the little guy not having been handed to him, and carefully made sure to take in the Pygmy's scent. Piper would be safer if Marmalade made sure he remembered what he smelled like.

Now Hux was starting to sound like Currant, too. Hoarding the geodes beneath his coils. It was always a little strange to see just how similar different Lamia were within their own species. Yet they were so different too. Hux had finally taken his eyes off her and she didn't feel like he was waiting to take a bite out of her if she moved wrong.

"I've found that the little shits are worth the most," Valerie said, agreeing with Keith. "It's the ones you work with, the friends you make that you have to fight for, that are the best you can have. Hux is one of those lifer friends, isn't he?"

"seems that way," Marmalade muttered, eyeing Hux's position on the ground.

But this was also an experience that Valerie couldn't pass up! She whipped out her phone and snapped a quick picture of Hux, trapped beneath Keith's coils, and sent it off to the boys at home with the caption a little shit being taken in coil with an appropriate amount of giggling. The picture she got in return was.... not a picture at all. Loud laughter spilled from her phone.

"LITTLE SHIT," Sangria wheezed in the video and she saw the grin Lapis directed at the phone camera, along with his typical finger guns.

"Why didn't I think of that?" she whisper-yelled. "A video call with my boys at home... ohmystars I feel like an idiot."

"eh," Marmalade grinned. "val's kinda a goober too."

*

Piper is happily snuggled against his teddy in his new best friend’s pocket with his favorite teddy. That is one blissful bitty bones.

Keith nodded, “Yeah, Hux is a lifer. I ain’t leaving him in to dust for anything or anyone.”

Hux groaned as he realized he was being laughed at, “Just end me now.”

“Nah. You’re trapped in cuddle land,” Keith said lazily, giving him an affectionate squeeze.

“How dare,” Hux said with absolutely no bite, enjoying this but also super embarrassed.

Nikolai chuckled, “These two are quite the pair. Good to hear from you.”

“I’m guessing one of ya is the famed Sangria,” Hux said. “Hey Currant, wanna show ‘em your new lil treasure?” Let the dude show off. It’ll be adorable.

Nikolai had no objections to this. If anything, he was trying to get closer to see Sangria and Lapis’s reactions.

*

Sangria puffed up in the video, gloves hands upon his hips and grin widening at the fact that people knew his name without having to be introduced. Yes, his malevolence was well known to Lamia all over! He didn't quite know how to ask Val how everything was going but things seemed to be going alright. Lapis was giggling, obviously being the one that was holding the phone.

He was hoping that Valerie wasn't bringing any of the full-sized hooligans into his territory, perking at the mention of a treasure.

"Oh, Sangria, he's adorable!" Val was gushing, pointing the camera towards Piper's sleeping face. "Look at him!"

Everyone was treated to the sight of Sangria's eye lights going huge in his sockets, slit pupils expanding into circles that nearly overtook the color. Lapis peeked around the phone so he could see what had caused that reaction. His grin widened.

"IS THAT A CHILD?" Sangria whispered, looking like he wanted to get closer. "ADMIRAL COME LOOK!"

Within seconds there was a cluster of eyes and skulls looking at Piper, a group of cooing Lamia enthused to see him. Well, Valerie hadn't expected this kind of reaction. They had even ignored Nikolai's introduction!

"HI!" Admiral squealed at them, being the first to notice all the others. His darkened socket and scarred cheek momentarily taking up the screen. "Baby?? BABY, BABY, BABY!!"

Aaaand he was off, distantly screeching.

"'pologies," Lapis drawled lazily. Sangria squeaked, demanding he be released so he could speak to everyone. Looks like Admiral was overcome by the zoomies. "mighta gave the kid a lil' too much caffeine."

Caffeine? A caffeinated Pygmy?

That was terrifying!

*

At all the noise, Piper started to stir, eyes peeking open as his mouth opened in a yawn. He started stretching out to wake up, but his coils instead tightened around Mr. Bluebeary. His head bobbed up and down as he fought to wake up, squeaking and chirping, but he lost and drifted back to sleep against his fuzzy little friend.

Nikolai chuckled, giving Piper a little head pat, “He got so excited when he found out about our park week that he didn’t sleep for a few days. Between that and all the excitement of being outside and meeting you, I’m sure he’s exhausted himself.” He then turned to Lapis, “And you. What in the vast reaches of the entire universe possessed you to over caffeinate a Pygmy?”

“Dude. You’re braver than me,” Hux said. “The zoomies would be horrifying.”

“Good luck Sangria,” Keith said, not wishing this fate on any. Well, at least they didn’t over-caffeinate a mamba…

*

The little sounds Piper made as he settled back into sleep were the most adorable thing Valerie had heard in a while and she barely resisted the urge to scoop him up and cuddle him close. He was going to do well with her boys, they'd keep him busy and make sure he was able to sleep through the night. Soon, he would have them all wrapped up in his adorable shenanigans.

"Lapis," she groaned, horrified at the idea of Admiral hyped up on caffeine. "I know you love your pranks but this... I don't see the a peel here."

Lapis beamed, giggling to himself and turning the phone so they could watch Sangria zip around after Admiral. The Pygmy was climbing all over the furniture and babbling too fast at the windows for his words to make any sense. These zoomies were fast-paced and chaotic, Admiral's voice so enthusiastic that Sangria was grinning.

"not brave," Lapis corrected. "jus' need to make sure sangria sleeps tonight. what better way than to have him chase admiral?"

"Its possible Sangria doesn't care," Valerie laughed. "But you had better not caffeinate Piper, Lapis. We don't need two zooming Pygmy."

She had to pause to mentally picture that and it was.... enough to make her nervous. Lapis would absolutely do that to her if he felt like she could handle it and it would be funny.

"thought it'd be funny," the Corny shrugged. "they were both mopin' around."

*

“He’s too young for it right now anyways,” Nikolai said, always the responsible parent. “And keep in mind, at his size, a little caffeine goes a much longer way. I wouldn’t give him anything stronger than white tea and dark chocolate, even as an adult.”

“That sounds like a way to do it though,” Hux said. “And a hilarious way at that! Why deal with mopes when you can watch ‘em zoom?”

“I almost wanna argue against that, but I can’t,” Keith said.

Even Nikolai had to admit, “I suppose that is a strategy…”

*

Valerie turned a mildly horrified look to Hux and Keith, knowing it was already too late to stop the monster they'd created. Lapis was a lazy guy, sure, but when it came to pranks and causing chaos he was the best in the house. And they were fueling his fire by the way he grinned at them.

"jus' make sure nothin' breaks," Currant grumbled with narrowed sockets. "they could go outside."

"a great idea," was Lapis' easygoing reply. "more roomie for the zoomie."

"What have you done?" Val groaned, watching the train wreck happening at her home. Lapis had opened the front door and Admiral was off like a rocket, Sangria hot on his tail. She couldn't help but smile at the way they zipped through the grass and trees, Admiral briefly posing on top of the basking rock with a 'MWEH HEH HEH' that was too cute.

"an when three o' them zoom together..." Marmalade shuddered. "stars..."

*

Nikolai was thinking to himself… partly out loud. “I suppose if Liam gets bored, that’s a way to do it…”

Hux laughed and flashed a devious grin, “I apologize for nothing.”

“I’m guilty as charged,” Keith said. “Agent of chaos, right here. Fear me.”

“Good luck if Piper zooms too,” Hux says. “Kid tried to fight Liam, he might try Sangria too.”

“I am glad they are getting exercise, but there are better ways!” Trousle said, the electronic voice muffled between Hux and Keith. “Like watching Avatar and trying to do the martial arts despite not having legs.”

*

"Oh stars," Val giggled, so horrified by her own imagination that she had ascended beyond groaning. "Imagine if someone caffeinated all the Mamba and Pygmy, though. It'd be an apocalypse!"

Now that she had said it aloud, Valerie felt like she might have just put pure chaos into the center's future. The only benefit she could find was that caffeine didn't last forever and the Lamia would crash pretty quickly.

"eh, sangria likes a challenger on occasion," Marmalade said with a snicker. "an piper 's already a dragon so sangria 'll be impressed. kid has guts."

"but he's jus' bones."

"Oh, Trousle," Val smiled. "Sweet summer child. My boys are basically feral when it comes to having fun and exercising! Even Lapis, the laziest noodle, has chaotic ways he moves when it's time."

"but val," Lapis cackled, "thought ya liked corny zoomies?"

"you jus' do the worm, though."

*

"Oh stars," Nikolai gasped in sheer horror at the thought. "I'm putting locks on all the coffees and tea. Staff only."

"Noooooooo...." Hux groaned, "I wanted to do it."

"I take no responsibility whether it does or does not happen," Keith said. He wasn't gonna bring the apocalypse, but wouldn't stop it either...

Trousle grinned, "Well then! We should hang out sometime! I bet I could "worm" better than you! Lazybones! Heart. Heart. Heart." He stuck his tongue out, wiggling playfully.

*

"That's probably for the best, really." She shuddered a little, cursing her own imagination with every colorful swear she knew. "Better watch the keys too. If you have any Cornies that are even remotely like Lapis, those keys might get stolen. Or the locks picked."

"or you could convince someone on staff tha' you wanted tea an jus' encourage a Mamba an Pygmy hoard to attack the hiding place," Marmalade said with a grin.

"whose side are you even on?" Currant demanded.

"anarchy," was the deadpan response.

"oh," Lapis peered closer to the phone. "hey there, kid. didn't know a papython was around. cool scarf... the worm ain't exactly a papython move, not cool enough, but it'd be fun."

*

"It's okay, I'm the small one! I understand." Trousle said. "Thank you! Val gave it to me! It looks so great!"

"There's no stopping the apocalypse. Just stock up while you can," Nikolai said.

Hux and Keith were laughing.

"I heard that we're not telling Cornies something?" said a Corny. "Also, pass the water bandages, will ya? Rings got cut on a rock."

"Oozy! My man!" Keith chirped.

Nikolai gave Oozy the bandages.

"Give him a pet, yeah? He likes those," Hux said to Val. The layer of ooze on Oozy was thinner and clearer than usual, water having diluted and washed quite a bit away, but there was still a hard-to-see the layer of slime on him.

Oozy was too wrapped up in what he wasn't supposed to be doing to pay attention to the waterproof wrappings (or Hux) though. "Soooooo... what am I absolutely not supposed to know?"

*

"yeah, she loves to give gifts. can't wait to meet you, kid."

There was no doubt that Valerie would be going to the center to see Trousle and all of them again. Next time it would be a big thing where everyone would go.

This new side to Hux was a far cry better than him being a little shit. It felt more like the real Hux had made an appearance and Keith was right, he was a huge goober.

"anarchy now," Marmalade declared. "didn' want a corny to know someone was plannin' on caffeinatin' the mamba an pygmy to bring about the apocalypse."

"don' forget the lockpickin'," Lapis delighted in tacking on.

But Val wasn't really listening to them. She was looking at Oozy and trying to decide if Hux was playing a trick on her or not. It wasn't typical for her to just reach out and pet a Lamia without asking first but even if Oozy did bite her, he wasn't venomous and the worst that could happen is it would hurt. It wouldn't even be the worst pain.

So Val reached out and pet Oozy on the back of the skull. The resulting mucus on her hand was disgusting but also very interesting to pet and she became far more invested in petting it than was normal. She made a noise of intrigue, reminded of patting mud pies as a kid.

"gross," was Currant's hiss.

*

“I look forward to meeting you too!” Trousle said. “Have you ever played DnD? My friends here and I play a few times a week!”

Oozy’s eyes widened, “That sounds like a disaster…” He was totally saving that idea for when he got bored. “Lock Picking Lawyer is pretty cool. I started watching him on one of my YouTube dives. Heh. Learned a lot about locks.”

Oozy’s eyes were on Val’s handy; he was giddy with anticipation, both for the affection and the almost inevitable gross-out. The dude couldn’t help giggling at the face she made, but would never say no to some friendly pets. He shrugged at Currant, used to it, “Eh, it’s life. Slimy, slimy life. Name’s Oozy, good to meet y’all.”

Hux was also laughing at poor Val for falling for it. Keith mentally gave her props for petting him anyways, even if it might’ve been morbid curiosity.

“Mmm… Geez, this has been a good year with girls for me. Might get spoiled at this rate,” Oozy said, longing to capture her in a cuddle, but he got the feeling that would just gross her out. Ah well, someday maybe.

*

"i've helped val make dnd characters before, when she was feeling like drawing chaos. never played any."

"lapis can pick locks, somehow." And Marmalade was still in awe of that random talent. None of them even knew where he'd picked up that skill from. Val couldn't reliably hide anything from him if he became determined enough to get it.

Currant was staring at Val's hand as she petsOozy. This must have been how people felt when they witnessed a horrible accident, horrified but unable to look away. The more she pet the more interested she became and the most enthusiastic about continuing to pet him. It was gross, yeah, but she was fascinated by the fact he was slimy. Like a frog or a salamander.

"Ohmystars," she breathed, using both hands to pet and probably resembling a kid meeting Santa for the first time. "This is so gross but so cool too! You feel like a salamander, ohmygodwhydidtheynameyouOozywhenyoufeellikethis???"

"oh no..."

*

“I could teach you if you want! Keith DMs.”

“I’m Keith,” Keith says, trying to keep Lapis up to speed, “The one I’m sitting on is Hux. Our King is Nikolai.”

Oozy’s eyes went starry and he splayed himself out for maximum petting. “Right? Heh. We can’t quite figure out why? But it’s a thicker ooze when I ain’t wet… or haven’t been in water recently, I’m always kinda wet. And, well, there have been worse Corny names. We seem to attract them.”

“Poor Spoon,” Nikolai said. “I should get naming guidelines…”

“Still better than Radish,” Hux said.

“I think Radish was a honeybo though,” Keith said.

“Still kinda respect the hastily renamed Mamba ‘Little Tucker.’” Oozy said with a grin, bearing his throat for some neck-scratches.

“Princess Garbage Lamp thankfully had that name changed,” Nikolai said.

“Didn’t YOU start that nickname?”

“In my defense, you weren’t born yet to witness that fiasco.”

*

"that'd be great, kid."

The amount of shenanigans that Lapis could inflict upon them is enough to make Currant and Marmalade giggle like schoolgirls. Lapis is still smiling but they can tell he wishes he was the one getting the pets and attention that Oozy is getting. Val was so excited about something different.

"I named my boys after colors," Val's voice was distracted, the feel of Oozy beneath her hands much more interesting. She itched to take pictures so she could draw this later, knowing it would be a huge boon to her visual library. "Color names are the best."

"val's an artist so she likes to name us after stuff she likes an knows." Currant paused, flushing a little. "she also tends to call us gems."

"the truth comes out," Marmalade teased. "nikolai can't name."

"Does it float in the water?" Valerie asked, moving her petting to Oozy's neck and using her nails to scratch lightly at his prompting. "Like, does it come off you and float? Or does your body absorb it, somehow? Does it have a taste? What does it mean for your scales? Do you shed?"

*

Keith smiled, “That’s adorable actually. Like, it’s freaking precious when someone shares part of what’s special to them with you.”

Nikolai agrees with the sentiment, but is also blushing, “I have many talents. Naming isn’t one of them.”

Oozy purrs deep in his chest, eyes shutting in bliss. “Depends on how thick it’s gotten. Fresher ooze might thin out a little bit, but if I’ve been sleeping in it a while, it’ll probably slough off and dissolve after a while. I’m kinda numb to the taste, but apparently, it’s got a salty and tangy vibe, but gets bitter if it stays there too long. I apparently have really uneven shedding, more like parts of the skin just get really soft until a slight bump tears it off. Usually dusts before it fully leaves the slime. I can’t really feel it when it happens though. From what we can tell, this stuff has ups and downs. Have to be careful about fungi, but I out-ick most other grossness. It seals up any cuts, burns, or whatever I might get and keeps them more or less sterile. Not that I get hurt much…”

*

"prolly also helps that none of us had names," Marmalade added. "the center we came from didn' give us names, we knew who was being talked to without that. Jus' easier to let adopters name us."

"don' think piper will get a different name though," Currant said, finally having enough and slithering off Val. "'s a cute name."

Valerie was far more interested in what Oozy had going on. She wasn't inclined towards science but she was curious about everything new that she found out. It must have been a little inconvenient to be covered in goop but it was fascinating that he knew so much about it. She was almost tempted to taste it just to see but Valerie wasn't that adventurous when it cameto trying new things. His word that it was salty-tangy was more than enough.

"Shame you didn't use the pun," she finally grumbled. "Coulda said something about how you can't become too much of a fun gi... But it's really cool. Like a protective layer, right?"

*

“We tried that, but names stick,” Nikolai says. “It’s almost impossible for them NOT to end up called something.”

Oozy’s eyes went wide and he laughed, “Dude. That’s hissterical. You’re really treating me to a good slime here!” He laughed a little more, then went back to explaining, “Maybe? I won’t say I’m entirely unique, but it’s a super rare condition. Ain’t been many chances to study if, so no one’s fully sure what causes it. I’ve had some science dudes and doctors and stuff come look at me. Nothing bad of course. Pretty sure Nikolai would’ve maimed them if they tried to go mad scientist.

“We’ve got a few theories. Some think that my soul is really stubborn in believing that I’m supposed to be an amphibian, or maybe I had an ancestor or two who were part frog or salamander or something. Others think there’s an issue in magic processing, like maybe my body just doesn’t know to slow down, or maybe something in that whole process is just completely borked. Point is, we ain’t sure. We’ve narrowed out a few possibilities, but don’t know why I do this, how to make it stop, or if that’d even be a good idea.

“But eh… whooze worried ‘bout that anyways?”

*

Oh no, he was a typical Corny all right. Puns, something Valerie had only really started to find funny after getting Lapis, spilling forward so easily she was momentarily stunned. He was slightly better than Lapis was and that feat was impressive enough she would have made sparkle eyes at Oozy if she could.

"Or maybe it's just you being such a slick guy that you can't contain it." She wiggled her eyebrows comically, a wheeze from Marmalade accompanying her words, and wasn't she just the smuggest person ever at that? "I guess you could also come from mixed genetics... maybe you had someone aquatic in your history? Aquatic creatures produce a slime too."

She was trying to resist commenting how he might actually be aslug, a lazy slug, but figured that would be rude. And then she had a sudden epiphany that caused her so much glee it almost physically manifested in a subtle glow from her chest.

"Or maybe..." she bit her lip, fighting back a massive grin. "You're a sea slug."

*

Oozy didn't even try to stifle his chuckling as a grin split his face, but he absolutely lost it at sea slug, letting out one of those "Pffffft"s of when you're caught off guard, then throwing his head back in laughter with his hand on his face. "Dude. Omg. That's a newt one. Good thing I'm a sea slug though and not a regular one, 'cause I'm being assalted with puns! Eel give you that, you're pretty good."

Hux was audibly groaning, getting more and more exasperated with every passing pun. Keith was laughing along while Nikolai fondly watched.

*

Valerie lost her battle with laughter, Currant's sockets narrowed in warning while Marmalade nearly collapsed as he wheezed along. She also heard Lapis giggling from the phone, beside himself with the fact he had so thoroughly corrupt her sense of humor with his own shenanigans.

"They just keep coming and I didn't even planet that way. Lapis' humor just seemed to mussel in when I brought him home. I'm not shellfish with the puns, either. Feel free to use 'em anytime."

Marmalade was wheezing so heavily that she was honestly concerned about his health and Lapis had descended into such high pitch giggles that she felt proud of herself. No Corny stood a chance now.

*

Oozy wasn’t sure he could top that. And he DEFINITELY couldn’t while he was too busy laughing his ass off to breathe. Hux was screaming into the floor in exaggerated anguish. Keith was howling. Even Nikolai was laughing along with the rest. This was the best possible result.

And through it all, a confused Krait awkwardly takes the water bandages from where Oozy sat them down, slithering back to the rest and avoiding whatever all this is.

*

It was comical, how she sat back with such a smug look on her face while surrounded by hysterical Lamia in various stages of horror or laughter. They were all lucky they wouldn't pass out from laughing so much or she might have been in trouble. Currant had grown used to the insane amount of shenanigans so he wasn't quite screaming but he certainly wasn't amused by the chaos.

Well, Marmalade had declared that it was anarchy now!

"Don't terrier yourself up about this. I'm pawsitive you can pun back. Though all this laughter is a nice jester from you."

Marmalade was on the ground, almost convulsing with laughter and she didn't even know Lamia could do that.

*

“Hey, hehehe,” Oozy was trying to talk through snorts of laughter, “Oh geez, pffft. Throw me a bone here! You’re doggone good at this, but I’m feline fine!”

“How did we get to cats and dogs? We’re snakes,” Nikolai said with amused befuddlement.

“Eh, she’s petter at some puns than me, but she’s not weaseling her way out of this so easily!”

Hux let out a muffled scream of, “I’M IN HELL.”

Trousle was trying to hide laughter behind an exasperated facepalm.

*

"Oooh, getting into a tearable pun territory now," she teased. "Well, I have a meowtain of puns. Dog puns are a bit ruff but I'm sure I can mange a few. Don't worry, you'll achieve grapeness if you wine a little."

The puns were all over the place and that was what had Marmalade on the ground, flailing around. Lapis never punned with Val like this and now that he knew she could they were all doomed. Just a little taste and Marmalade was unable to control himself. Lapis was sobbing now and showed no signs of stopping.

"look what you did!" Currant announced with a small screech of dismay.

"no grater way to go," Lapis wheezed.

*

“These puns are starting to get cheesy, but I’ll brie fine. Cheddar get ready, I can milk this for all it’s worth if ya let me have my curds ‘n way.” Oozy was NOT one to back down from a pun-off.

This was the most effort Nikolai had seen him put in in a while, so he wasn’t going to stop him…

Oozy kept going, “Cheese and crackers, sometimes I can go against the grain. Wheat’re ya gonna do plow?” He has no regrets. “I’ll keep punnin’ till the cows come home, no need to raise the afarm, but y’know, there’s a reason they call me - (snrk) - Corny.”

*

Oozy was good at this! Val had to pause for just a moment to try and think of a few things she could use. His means of punning was very one track, with a single vein that he went into and kept on, but she tended to like chaotic punnery instead.

A pun battle it would be, then.

"You've goat to wait for gouda puns. Don't pastaway on me now or we'll have a latte problems. Meow you've gone and bun it. Beating you at a pun battle won't be impastable for someone like me. Beclaws I've been practicing."

*

“I’d say it’s your mewve, but I’ll whisker ya away with these, and cat’s not all I have to say.

“Victory’s fleece-ing, but you can sheep well tonight. Cow about ya keep trying, or are ya chicken?

“‘Cause that won’t cut it. Not to hammer in the point, but I’ve nailed it. You saw it, right? I’ve got the tools to win.”

*

Val resisted her laughter for all of five seconds before she snorted. It was loud and hurt a little but it heralded the end of her pun game as she then descended into her hysterics. Keeping up with a Corny was difficult but her mind felt good from having to think up all those puns and her soul felt lighter. He'd been a perfect opponent to flex her punning muscle against.

"I don't think I can top that," she giggled, petting him with barely a twitch. "Probably a good thing too because I think Marmalade is having a fit."

Which was only partially true. Marmalade had exhausted himself and was flopped into a pile on the ground, twitching every time he snickered.

"that was a pawesome pun battle," Lapis declared from the phone. "Cornies win again."

*

Hux was still just screaming into the ground, muffled under a pile of Keith. Keith was coming down from his bout of hysterics (albeit as much from Hux's reaction as the puns themselves), and Oozy grinned. "That was great. Heh, haven't done that in a hot minute. You're dang good at this, y'know? Like, super good."

*

Hopefully, Hux would realize they weren't punning anymore and calm down. It had felt good to be able to sit back and dish out whatever randomness her brain conjured up, pun battle or not. Valerie was just happy to have not made a complete fool of herself. Shame no other Corny had joined in, it would likely have caused permanent mental damage to someone.

"So it's been a cold minute?" She couldn't prevent the question, grin turning smug once more. "Lapis has ruined my sense of humor for all eternity. Puns were one of those things I used to do without realizing but I notice them a lot now. And they're funny!"

*

"I think you mean he improved it, heh," Oozy said. "Man, that was great. Thanks, lil corny. Lil popcorn. Nah, popcorn's too energetic. You're a Kernal. Thanks, Kernal."

"Bet you wish you were that good at nicknames," Keith said to Nikolai.

"It was ONE time! And you know good and well what that Corny did with that lamp."

Hux huffed, finally calming, "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Many things," Trousle said. "You might be prickly, but you still deserve Keith’s cuddles!"

"... You can't pull that surprise sweet shit on me like that," Hux said, red-faced.

"I can. You cannot stop me."

"Nikolai, make him stooooop."

"No," Nikolai said, heading towards the door, "I should be getting back now, who knows what's gone on while I was gone. I don't know when you'll be leaving, Val, but if you can, try to wait until Piper wakes up so he knows what's going on and gets a chance to say goodbye. Thank you."

*

"Depends on who you ask, I guess." Clearly, Hux and Currant thought her sense of humor was ruined, although Currant changed his tune when she was telling him knock, knock jokes. "I'll never hear the end of it. He'll call himself that and Sangria will throw a fit until Lapis says he's waiting to pop into corn."

Which, again, was fair. But Sangria would be equal parts disgusted and horrified. They were lucky he hadn't heard their pun battle or she would never have been able to get away with leaving him out.

"nah, thank you buddy," Lapis said. "clearly I need to come along next time."

"clearly," Currant parroted, a pained look upon his face.

"Puh-lease," Val directed towards Hux. "It was obvious from the start you were secretly a huge softy beneath all the prickles. Just like a cactus."

It was, too. After a while, anyway.

"anarchy," was Marmalade's grave response to what had likely gone on in Nikolai's absence. "pure chaos."

"Oh yes, it was probably a Mamba apocalypse," Valerie agreed. "We'll stick around until Piper wakes up, let him say goodbye, and get numbers so you guys can talk to him until we come back around. I'll be making another donation to the center sometime in the next few weeks."

*

"I apologize for nothing," Oozy said with a shit-eating grin. "I look forward to seeing ya Kernal. We'll have a good slime. Hehehe."

"I'm glad I ain't the only sane one here. Other Coral. Help me!" He managed to wiggle an arm out, reaching for Currant. He was blushing more as he tried to ignore Val's assessment of him.

Nikolai let out a sigh that turned into a chuckle, "I shouldn't expect anything else. Oh well. I guess I'll go save the world." He went for the door, stopping long enough to say, "Thank you. We all appreciate it. I'm sure he'll be really happy with you." Then he left.

*

"as marmalade said, anarchy now," Lapis took great delight in repeating. "we'll have a whale of a good time."

Currant's initial assessment of Hux may not have been very nice but he did have some species pride. He huffed, as if aiding Hux was the greatest weight upon his shoulders, but reached out with his magic nonetheless. The fact that he had magic to spare was a matter of pride, his meals were so carefully planned out just for this reason. A crook of his fingers and he yanked Hux forward.

"Go save the day, Nikolai," Val said with a wave. "I'll try and make sure none of these hooligans get into trouble."

*

Hux whooped and stuck his tongue out at Keith as he managed his great escape… with aid. “Thanks, dude, owe us one.”

Nikolai chuckled, “I appreciate it. And good luck with that.”

Everyone waited for five seconds after he left. Then Oozy immediately said, “Alright, who wants to storm the coffee?”

“NO!” Hux snapped.

“Maaaaybe,” Keith drawled.

“Can I have some?” Trousle had a wide grin, bobbing back and forth in excitement.

“… what have I done,” Oozy said, staring down Trousle.

*

Now Val might have said she would watch the others but she doubted she'd be able to stop any shenanigans that might occur. Currant and Marmalade wouldn't join the chaos, she hoped, so it came down to watching all the others and making sure they didn't cause trouble. But of course Oozy would be the one that would have pranks on the mind, seeing as Cornies were agents of chaos.

"COFFEE?" She heard from the phone, a battle cry that sent her calm expression diving into horror. Sangria had a very distinct tone and he must have out zoomed Admiral to still be awake. The stamina of a Mamba was no joke. He didn't sound like he was as full of energy as usual but not tired either. "DO NOT GIVE COFFEE!"

"no roomie for the zoomie," Lapis announced sadly. "you're all in the city. too much could happen if ya give everyone coffee."

"like that would stop anyone," Currant huffed, cradling Piper against his chest and wondering how the kid could sleep through this.

"anarchy now," Marmalade agreed solemnly.

*

This did not discourage Oozy, "I'm gonna give 'em coffee. Just you wait! I'll do the Boston tea party, but in a krait pond with coffee! JUST TRY ME!"

Hux, trying to stop the apocalypse, pounced on Oozy, nose scrunched as he held the other down. "No. Nope. Nope nope nope nope."

"... ya have to get off eventually," Oozy said, not remotely struggling to get free.

"Bold of you to assume you can out-lazy me," Hux said.

Keith was laughing... and slithering off to grab some coffee.

Piper was stirring some now and then, making noises of displeasure at all the noise, but he'd been on and off zoomies for a few days without sleep. His body finally forced him...

Or tried to. "Coffee!" Piper yelled, demanding.

Oh no.

*

Secretly, or not so secretly, Val doubted Hux could out-lazy a Corny and that the apocalypse wouldn't be happening. She had resolved herself to witnessing the zooms that would be happening, feeling the looks of horror upon her for not stopping this. All she could hope is that it wouldn't be too bad.

And then she heard the little demand and all the terror crashed upon her shoulders. Currant was looking down in shock and Marmalade pressed his face into his coils.

"Oh no," Valerie whispered, scooping Piper up so she could pet him. Even if he wanted coffee she couldn't resist some cuddles from an adorable Pygmy. "I don't know if you'll like coffee, Piper. It's pretty bland."

Please let him be easily convinced by thinking coffee had to be served plain and nothing else.

"UNLESS YOU ADD SUGAR," Sangria muttered from the phone, drawing her stare. "ADMIRAL DRANK THE SWEET STUFF."

"Sangria," She whined but it was too late.

Oh no, indeed.

*

Keith has found a 12 pack of a certain type of cold-brew coffee in the fridge. He shook some of the snacks from the snack machine in trade, sticking a note on there that he regretted nothing.

Calmly, he went out and started distributing the contraband to Mambas and Pygmies.

“Nnnnn!!! But! Need zoom! Get to play outside but ‘m tired and ‘s not fair! Dun Wanna sleep…” He was getting fussy in the way an over-tired child does when they desperately want to keep having fun, little tears budding in his eyes and hiccuping. “Gimme zoom juice! Wanna play!”

*

Piper was hitting her right in the underdeveloped, curdled maternal instincts. He sounded like he was on the verge of a full-on tantrum and she didn't want him to get that upset over some coffee. It had been a while since she'd been around a fussy child that didn't make her want to run in the other direction.

It was an awful idea. She knew it was an awful idea. But Valerie couldn't deny Piper a little bit of fun before they left.

"OK," she took a deep breath. "You can have a small sip of zoom juice. Just a little bit. You can play but we do have to say goodbye. Sangria is waiting at home for you."

"INDEED," her large Mamba huffed. "IF YOU ZOOM NOW YOU'LL SLEEP ON THE DRIVE AND YOU CAN ZOOM AGAIN AT HOME."

*

Piper stared for a moment like he didn’t expect that to work. But once it processed that he had more playtime, he broke into giggles and a grin, trilling happily. “YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY! YA… Yawn AY!”

“Told ya you can’t stop me. I didn’t even have to escape,” Oozy said.

Hux had his jacket hood over his skull and was trying to melt into the ground to escape (ignoring that he could just, like… leave).

Outside, trouble was already brewing as the more energetic Lamia began to ZOOM! One mamba was trying to declare himself king of the entire world, hampered by the Pygmy who had decided to be a superhero all of the sudden and was playfully fighting him. A few bitty mamba were trying to tip over Val’s van (without success, thankfully). Nikolai was holding back swears as he tried to stop one mamba from starting a fire. A Pygmy had somehow trapped himself in a tire swing. It was chaos.

Keith was wondering when he should tell them it was decaf. Placebos are killer sometimes.

*

Some distant part of Val's brain thought she might have been played but she ignored it. Piper had no way of knowing of her soft spot for cute and small creatures, that the sight of tears would break down her walls faster than a wrecking ball. A sip of coffee wouldn't cause him any harm.

"You gonna come out with us, Hux?" She asked, looking at him from the corner of her eye. "Most of the humans should be gone now that the zoom is happening so you don't have to worry about getting adopted. Plus... won't it be funny to see Nikolai handle this?"

Currant huffed at the blatant manipulation but even he doubted Hux would go out to see what had been brought upon the park. He was keen on watching Piper but just keeping up with his excitement from earlier had tired Currant out and he would have preferred going back into the van to sleep.

"let's get the kid some coffee," Marmalade drawled, slithering out before stopping at the chaos.

"Oh my," was Val's faint response, eyes wide as she stared at the sight of the zoomies. It was frightening. She didn't even want to go out there. "I don't know if I'm scared or impressed..."

*

In his defense, Piper wasn’t TRYING to be manipulative, he was upset about it. But usually, when he’d get fussy about needing sleep, people took him to bed and tried harder to have him sleep. But now he’s happy! He gets more zoom!!!

Currant could try to sleep in the van, but there were even MORE bitty mamba trying to push it over, some of them pushing from inside. Even with their combined might, it wasn’t happening.

Nikolai had to hiss some very stern warnings at Liam to keep him from helping, all while holding onto a teenaged, full-sized Pygmy that was trying his best to wiggle free.

Keith was coiled up next to Maia, having told her his trick.

And Hux was willing to watch from afar, if only to see the madness.

This only got better/worse when some random dude decided to make an impromptu donation of three dozen beach balls, including two gigantic ones. No one could escape from the park-wide impromptu game of dodgeball… except the pygmies and mamba that were reenacting the boulder scene from Indiana Jones.

*

Valerie groaned at the hoard gathered around her van, hoping that nothing went missing from inside and holding Currant back from storming it and driving the hoard away. It was just lucky that no larger Mamba or Pygmy were attempting to join in.

"I'll let you go find some coffee to drink but please come back to me when you start getting tired," Valerie fussed, lowering Piper to the ground. "Make sure you tell everyone goodbye too. We'll come back to visit but ask for numbers and bring them to me to save."

She fussed over Piper for a little bit longer before she let him zip off to get himself some zoom juice. The grass was soft enough that she had no shame sitting down, cheek propped on her palm. Currant and Marmalade wrapped around her to keep away the worst of the shenanigans.

"At least everyone is having fun..."

*

Piper nodded and gave Val a little kiss on her hand before going off. Keith was kind/smart enough to give the kid some Mountain Dew: much better tasting, but with actual caffeine, even if not as much as coffee.

Once it hit his system, Piper started to ZOOM, alternating between playing and excitedly talking about his adoption, hugging all his little playmates, and bringing some over to meet Val, Marmalade, and Currant.

He was explaining to some of the mamba - who had given up tilting Val’s car and were now grumbling about it being full of bricks - that he was gonna go home in that car (while chasing a beach ball in circles) when a particularly young bitty mamba shot out and glomped him.

“NO! No you don’t! Mine!” The mamba screeched.

“But I leaving!”

“No! You stay here! I protect.” Cobalt the mamba pouted, holding Piper to his chest and wrapping around him protectively.

“Isssss ‘kay Cobalt! Val’s nice! And Curry loves! They not hurt me.”

“No no no no no! No! You stay! No leave! Is mine!”

“You gonna get a person too!”

“I wan’ YOU!” Cobalt had worked himself into tears, not wanting to let go of Piper…

Piper wasn’t sure how to handle it, “Sssshhh! Shhhh! No cry! No cry! Is ‘kay! You’re real good! They just jealous! ‘Cause pretty scales!” He was just mimicking some of what Cobalt had said to make him feel better.

“I pretty?” Cobalt said, sniffling. “I miss you…” He thought for a little bit, then went over to Val and slithered on her with Piper in tow, “We go now!”

*

Even though there were a lot of Lamia zipping and zooming, Valerie tried to keep her attention on Piper instead. He was a ball of energy, making her tired just watching but filling her chest with joy right along with that. She was introduced to so many Lamia that she had no hope of remembering all the names being tossed at her.

She didn't see what was going on but she heard the screeching, the absolute dismay in someone's little scream. Her soul throbbed with pain and she hoped someone would come along to offer assistance because there was no way Valerie would be able to crush someone's feelings. Marmalade tensed beside her, feeling the feedback of pain within his chest.

It was made even worse when the owner of the screech slithered onto her and she was torn by how small the Mamba was. He was the smallest bitty Lamia she had ever seen and there was the hint of tears upon his face that tore her up inside. The little guy had nothing on Sangria's iridescence, few did, but he was such a pretty color.

Valerie looked around, hoping for someone to offer assistance before she gave in and took him home too. Petting his little head as soon as he seemed to have settled.

"Oh, little dragon," she cooed at the Mamba. "What has you so upset?"

Maybe if she stalled...

*

"You can't have Piper! Is mine! He no go! I keep!" Cobalt hissed. He knew better than to bite, even in the midst of a tantrum, but he was tempted. But then Piper would probably cry...

"But I want go!" Piper said.

"No!" Cobalt said. He clung stubbornly to Piper. "I protect forever! Can't go..."

"You protect good! But I go now."

"Noooooo!" Cobalt sobbed.

Hux couldn't watch any more of this, slithering back inside. It'd been mostly fun watching the others cause chaos, but he knew all too well how Cobalt felt...

Thankfully, the freed Oozy came to the rescue... "Heya kid... why the long face?"

"Piper's LEAVING! But he can't!"

"Sure he can. Yer old enough now. Both of ya."

"But-But..." Cobalt sniffled, nuzzling Piper.

"It ain't like you'll never see him again," Oozy said. "I've had friends get adopted, but they still come back all the time. And I know Val's gonna keep in great touch. He can still call you."

"Not same..." Cobalt said, half holding and half leaning on Piper. "He's friend..."

"I know kiddo... I know. But hey, you'll get someone too one day, y'know?"

"You haven't," Cobalt said with a huff.

"I'm a high-maintenance Corny, you're an awesome little mamba. We're two different things entirely. You'll be loved."

"... I want Piper with me," Cobalt said. "You stay?"

Piper kissed Cobalt's cheek, "Love too! But I go. I come back! And bring toys!"

"Promise?"

"Mm-hmm!"

"And talk! Phone talk!"

"Yeah!"

Cobalt sniffled, holding Piper close. "... 'kay." He then looked at Val, little stare withering. "Take care! Be extra nice and give treats! Tell him he look good! If you be mean, I bite you!"

"She nice!" Piper insisted.

"Better be..."

Meanwhile, in the background, Nikolai let out a loud shout of, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS DECAF?!"

*

She knew there was something wrong with her when she found the tantrum to be more adorable than anything. In typical Mamba fashion, his tantrum came down to someone taking what he viewed as his and a lot of yelling. Nikolai must have told them that biting was a very bad thing to do because he didn't try and take a chunk out of her in the midst of his ranting.

Oozy was a gift. Calming down the tantrum and saving her from giving in to the cuteness of the little Mamba's attitude. If he had been full-size she would have been more intimidated than she was but he was adorable before he was frightening.

"If I didn't have Sangria at home I'd take you too." Valerie couldn't hold the words back if she wanted to. "But I know a little dragon-like you will get a good home. Who wouldn't want such a pretty Mamba?"

Hopefully, the compliments helped because she would rather not get bitten.

"don' worry kid," Currant said, calling attention to his own warning stare. "val 'll take good care of piper. he'll have his own rock to bask on, his favorite candy, an' so many toys he'll be able to share with ya that all the other mamba 'll be jealous."

"not ta mention she might let piper bring ya sour candy jus' for you next time," Marmalade added. He heard Nikolai's shout and had a devious idea. "an' we can bring more coffee next time."

*

Cobalt sniffled again, but wiped his face and smiled up at her, "Yeah... 'M pretty cool! I gonna get good! Mm-hmm!" He giggled and nuzzled Piper. "You get good too. Deserve it. Miss you..."

"Miss you too. But is 'kay! I see again."

"Yes! And bring sour candies! And coffee!"

"Okay! We do!"

"Good!" Cobalt said. That said, he was still reluctant to go just yet... "We go play now."

"Okay!"

And they did! The two zoomed around the park together until Piper once more started losing the fight with sleep. Cobalt had to half-drag him back, and even then almost started crying again, but they said one see-you-later, and Piper curled up to sleep on the ride home...

And that Corny, who ate more sweets and has now conked out in the glove box, is apparently coming too.

*

Disaster averted, Val flopped back against Marmalade and Currant while Piper ran through his caffeine buzz with his friend. It was much better to see a happy Mamba than to see one that was likely contemplating biting. It likely wasn't long enough for the Mamba to come to terms with having to say goodbye but he did. Currant accepted Piper and they all wished everyone a good evening, saying their own see-you-laters.

"Everyone will sleep good tonight," Val mused, helping Currant into the front seat of the van so they could settle into the blankets. She searched around to make sure there weren't any stowaways and Marmalade assured her they'd all left. "We got a long drive ahead of us, I'll stop and get more snacks for the road."

She climbed into the drivers seat, feeling warm and good about how the day had gone. It was one of those perfect days where she made plenty of friends. Once at home she would put numbers into the phones and have Piper call so everyone would know he'd gotten there safe.

Marmalade picked a song for the start of the ride, Val singing along, and they began their journey home. Unaware of the hidden Corny in the glove box.

[simpingforsoftboys]

Haikyuu as Things Me & My Friend Groups Do In Roblox

!NOT RDR INSERT!

Atsumu (+ Osamu)

Atsumu has been obsessed with Dance Off for god knows how long and gets pissed off when people refuse to follow the theme

Don’t even get him started on when people team and vote for their friends- regardless if they fit the theme or not

Mofo will convince Osamu to play with him and have them on the same team- wearing matching outfits and shit

Literally goes “ok third dance on the right in 1 2 3-“ and will get angry if Samu messes up and makes his character dance out of sync

Suna + Miya Twins

Murder Mystery Hardcore and Flee the Facility are their go to

Tsumu gets real invested in the game and will be lowkey hurt if either of them kill him

“Tf Samu what kinda brother are ya-“

Osamu doesnt gaf and has gotten real good at sneaking glances at Atsumu’s screen

In MM, Suna deliberately points fingers at random innocent players, claiming they’re the murderer- and laughs when the sheriff shoots them

Suna’s also the type to have all the hidden rooms locations memorized and will camp out there if he’s feeling lazy

It doesn’t matter if Osamu is murderer or sheriff, he’ll still target Atsumu

In Flee The Facility Suna and Osamu will team up and follow Atsumu around and sabatoge all the computers he hacks

They also team with the beast and stand and watch Atsumu when he’s captured- taunting him

Atsumu gets so mad and it’s hilarious

“STOP CAMPIN YOU TEAMERS &$&?!&”

Suna never saves anyone when they get captured- even Osamu

But he’ll be upset if no ones rescues him

“Hurry up and rescue me- I am literally dying wtf.”

His voice doesn’t really rise in volume but it will change to a higher pitch out of irritation

Suna is very quiet when he plays and will mute his mic

When he’s not feeling serious about playing he’ll go run up to the beast and juke em and stuff for lolz

When he’s beast he’ll camp the computers/survivors

Osamu is that one player who will either be a saint and save everyone or refuses to help anyone

It really just depends on who he’s playing with

He’s the type to get pissed off when the last survivor waits by the open exit in order to irritate the beast

Spams chat to urge them to hurry up

Never types in caps but makes lowercase look threatening

He’s the kinda beast that will actually play fair and go after the remaining survivors once he captures one

Atsumu is that one lvl 30 something player but still manages to play like a total noob

Messes up when hacking the computers cuz he gets distracted then blames it on his internet lagging

Osamu calls him out for lying

“Yer such a liar tsumu my internet aint laggin yer just shit at this.”

Also the type of player to forget his volume is maxed out and gets scared when he hears the beast music

The last survivor that Osamu hates- and stands in front of the door way to taunt the beast

Atsumu hates being beast and will immediately leave the game if he is beast- much to Osamu’s chargin

Bokuto, Kuroo, Kenma, Akaashi

Kenma convinces them to play the roblox version of Paranormica (ghost hunting game)

Bokuto always has to carry the lantern because for some reason the game always decides that the ghosts hate him- and only him

Bo also carries the spirit book, because it doesn’t need to be equipped to be used

If he see’s ANY writing he will straight up drop the thing and run over to kuroo, telling him to “forget the box and bring the bird” (Kuroo has to carry the bird and the spirit box)

If the bird dies Kuroo starts whisper screaming “oh fuck no not today satan” and will run out of the place back to the van asap

Bokuto panics too and will run after him, telling Akaashi to run and leaving Kenma in the place without light (hopefully the fuse hasnt blown out by then)

Since he has the spirit box, Kuroo is also the first to be sacrificed once the ouija board starts saying some weird shit

This dummy thought angering the ghost further (by saying its name) was a good idea and will get himself killed

Kenma is me basically

He’ll carry the nightvision cam and emf reader and will periodically alternate between the two

Once he see’s something sus though he’s all like “time for a tactical retreat” and will run outside w/out telling anyone else

Every man for himself

It dont matter if the ghost isnt aggro yet- he aint takin any chances

Can be heard quietly debating with himself about what type the ghost is- even if he only has 1/3 clues

Akaashi usually sticks with Kenma- sorry Bo but kaashi dont f with ghosts, not even for you

He has the fuse and a crucifix- his job is to be Kenma’s support

He occasionally weighs in on the ghost type debate

Tbh he hates this game with a passion- it never fails to give him anxiety

Oikawa & Hanamaki

These two play Fashion Famous together

Iwa and Mattsun totally make fun of them for it

Oikawa takes this game way too seriously

Will follow the theme to a T and bought all the game passes 💀

Makki doesn’t have robux so he has to stick to the free sections

If he’s feeling like a troll he’ll follow Oikawa around and wear a similar outfit and everything to irritate him

Kawa is not happy and insults him in chat- other players report him for bullying and he gets banned for a few days

Seijoh 4

These guys play Bloxburg together 💯

They have their own roblox group so thats how Makki got the 25 robux needed to play

Again Oikawa has all the game passes

He, Mattsun, and Makki all spend their time building a giant castle with secret underground entryways that lead to hidden prisons

They like to rp (roleplay) and kidnap unsuspecting players

Mattsun and Makki built a strip club together

Iwaizumi is the money maker and is always working aha (either at the grocery store as a cashier or pizza delivery guy)

The three idiots roleplay dramatically in the chat for attention 💀

Iwa’s so over their shit

Okay I spent an hour listing these while simultaneously watching The Good Doctor (and there’s poly representation in the new season omfg I love it!) while taking a break from my homework- now I gtg get started again bye.

[rpmemesbyarat]

Disney's "Gargoyles" Season 1 Quotes RP Meme

One thousand years ago, superstition and the sword ruled. It was a time of darkness.

It was a world of fear.

What could put claw marks in solid stone?

How do you tell each other apart?

We look different.

It is the nature of humankind to fear what they do not understand.

Their ways are not our ways.

My angel of the night

Start hiring crews, I want to begin as soon as possible.

It may prove difficult to find the necessary manpower.

This castle has a bad reputation.

The locals consider it haunted.

Pay a man enough and he'll walk barefoot into Hell.

Who says what's wrong?

Well, we have a justice system. Laws, penalties, assessments. But the people decide.

Nothing's real to you 'til you've named it, given it limits.

It's just that, well, things need names.

Does the sky need a name? Does the river?

A good detective trusts no one.

We should choose names too.

It's time for our dreams to come true.

You should know it before you die.

I wish I had time for a snack.

I know, Chinese food. It was good, too. But for some reason, an hour later, I was hungry again.

I'm still surprised at being asked back seeing as how I busted your boss.

Every minute you stay here you're in danger.

When we took this job, we were promised fame, money and action.

Birds gotta fly. Fish gotta swim. Wolves gotta hunt!

Well another day, another half-million dollars.

You let them see you?!

We can't hide from the whole world up here.

There are kindred spirits out there for us, but we've gotta look for them, and we've gotta give them a chance, or else we'll always be alone.

We're not their enemies!

They're no more than animals!

An animal hunts because it's hungry. These hunters do it for sport.

I'm never trusting anyone again!

I was so totally wrong!

We can't hide from the world, we must live in it.

We must search for allies, kindred spirits, and sometimes we must take chances, like we did tonight.

It's nice to know there are still some heroes left.

Maybe we shouldn't believe everything we see on television.

A pity nothing else happened according to plan.

All-in-all, I'd say the test was most informative.

Isn't it finished yet?

Oh, not good. Not good.

Don't be afraid. I just want to talk.

Yeah, last time we met, you just wanted to blow me away with a bazooka.

I know I shouldn't have shot at you.

I was crazy with grief and rage.

It's a long story. Centuries long. I'd like to tell you about it. If you'll let me.

You don't know the depths to which humanity can sink, my young friend.

Come let me show you what mankind is really like.

They can't even share their homes without fighting. What makes you think they will share this world with us?

They hold each other's lives completely without worth. And you think they will accept us with open arms?

But not all humans are like that.

That's one way of avoiding a conversation.

So you did survive.

I always survive.

Any species that has you as a member can't be all bad.

Hey! What happened to the motorcycle?

Movies, television, video games. These days, it's hard to tell what's real and what's not.

Hey, I told you, I'm not the guy. And if I was the guy, you couldn't do anything about it.

Sorry, my fault. I was playing with the gun. Stupid of me. Hope I didn't break anything.

Don't give up.

Come back to us.

Know that I will finish what you started.

I will find the man who did this to you, and I will make him pay!

Read my lips, you're not safe here!

How many times are you going to try that?

Hey, you know, I'm getting tired of this.

Did you just see how the lights dimmed when you did that?

Oh, sorry, no, I was too busy writhing in agony to notice.

It's not you I'm after. You're just a pawn. I want your queen.

Give me one minute.

I'll bet I can get this place working.

Ok, it's a fixer-upper. But with a few throw rugs and flowers, it could be home.

You've been practicing. This is the first time I've ever lost a match to you.

What are you reading?

If you're going to be picky, we won't get anywhere.

But why? Why not just kill us?

I was a little worried that I might be getting soft.

You know it's a trap!

I can face her. I just can't beat her.

I'm smarter, stronger and I'm younger than you!

Your pride will cost you your life!

I know something you don't. Something that only comes with age. I know how to wait.

I would have ended this quickly! But now you'll suffer!

It is time for me to step down, and for you to lead.

I thought my warrior days were over.

There are years of fighting left for you.

You sure you can fly this?

Trust doesn't mean much without honesty.

It's my life! Butt out!

Is that all there is for us, mere survival?

I don't want to hurt you!

I don't remember any explosions in "Bambi."

The city feels safer already.

[thewatchau]

Gathering the Hunt Part 29

Green belongs to @autumnleafauthor

I can’t believe I forgot this, but there was a meme we made when Shams and I were doing that RP. It’s the B99 meme with Rosa, just with Ivy’s face and Morgana’s name.

‘I’ve only had Morgana for an hour and a half, but if anything happens to them I will kill everyone in the room and then myself’

Bard’s Note: Special thanks to @theshapeshifter100 as always! I’ll put the meme in the end notes XD

—

As expected she was up at dawn and heading back to the Bastion. She travelled for the same day and a half time span, and arrived there about midday.

She sat down in kitchen more or less as soon as she arrived and began to eat, ravenous.

Meanwhile in her room, Green set aside her quill and glanced over at the window. It was noon, and she hadn’t left her room since yesterday evening. All she had to eat was a leftover apple so far, and her stomach wasn’t having it.

She went downstairs to eat, and spotted a familiar face.

Ivy had gone from eating her food to fending off Otto while trying to read her notes from Morgana. Half distracted she was only partially successful in holding him off.

Otto spotted Green before she did, and let out a gleeful caw before flying over, landing on her shoulder.

 “Well hello again, little Buddy! It’s been a while! May I consider this an invitation?” Green made her way over to where Ivy was sitting. “Look at who I found, or rather, who found me!”

“Huh?” Ivy looked up from her work, having barely noticed that Otto had disappeared. Her stew was 90% broth at this point. “Hi Green! You’re still here?”

“Yes, I am indeed! It’s quite a lovely place here, and I have to admit I missed the slightly higher altitudes… I could stay here even longer!”

“Haven’t you got a kingdom tour to do?” Ivy asked. She eyed Otto, who was preening Green’s hair. “He really likes you. He doesn’t do that to just anyone,” she remembered she was hungry and picked up her bowl to drink the broth from.

“Glad to know that!” Green grinned profusely at Otto’s display of affection. “That is precisely my problem. But I will enjoy the time I can spend here!”

“I’m sure someone has something to say about the raid on the bridge, or have you already found them?” Ivy half grinned. “Oh, by the way, I found Morgana.”

“Oh, did you?”

“Yes, just the other day.”

“How’d you manage to catch that wild girl?”

“Otto pulled Eamon’s tail, her bird chased mine and I asked her if she knew a Mage Morgana,” Ivy shrugged. “And, I wouldn’t have called her ‘wild’. The girl I met was pretty subdued.”

“But all over the place nonetheless. Just a wonderful balance! And by now I am convinced Otto is your go-to conversation starter.”

“He is. It can be very annoying,” she narrowed her eyes at Otto, who continued to run his beak through Green’s hair. “Either way, I have the translations,” she jabbed a finger at her journal.

“Oh, you made quite a bit of progress!”

“We did! The first page is a phrase of protection, do you have some spare paper or parchment? I don’t like ripping pages out of here,” Ivy admitted sheepishly.

“Do-ah, do I- how dare you!” Green spluttered. “I am a bard and a scholar! What would I do without pen and paper!” with an exaggerated look, she pulled out a miniature notebook and a stick of graphite from a jacket pocket.

Ivy held her hands up in defence. “Sorry, didn’t want assume!” she held back laughter. “Don’t write it down yet, I’m not done,” she moved onto another section. “We got the back pages too, four names. Names of Fae,” she trailed off, waiting for a reaction.

“Names? Full names? As far as I know they might give us power!”

“They might do. One we’ve come across before, Phantom. One I already knew, Le Fey. Then we’ve got Natemare and ÆlfswiÞ, which translates to ‘Strong Fae’. I’ve also got a theory. The other Fae in the Forest was called Author, and the author of the book disappeared. I just, wonder if the two are one and the same.”

“ÆlfswiÞ? Did I say that right?” Green had no ideas on Ivy’s theory. “It seems so… different from the others,” she glanced at Ivy cautiously.

“I have no idea, I can barely even spell it let along say it!” Ivy shrugged helplessly. “Here’s my book to copy it all down,” she pushed her journal over. “And, er, we could always ask Morgana for the exact pronunciation, later.”

“Of course, she’s the expert…” Green was copying everything feverishly.

Ivy shifted awkwardly, waiting for Green to finish before dropping her last piece of news. She doubted Green was going to like it.

“Yes, well, we will be able to ask her at some point… she’s coming.”

Green’s head snapped up. “She’s what now?”

“She, she wanted to come, and after some arguing, I said yes,” Ivy had a sheepish expression. “I mean, she’s survived a raid in the Western Forest, so she’s tough and knows magic. And we might need a guide.”

Green stared blankly at Ivy for a long, uncomfortably minute. She moved in close to Ivy’s face. “Do you know what that poor child has been through?”

“She told me some of it, yes. About her mother, and her father, and I sympathise, but she has a really scary glare!” it was a weak argument and she knew it.

“She… she has,” Green looked away. “We have to protect her at all costs.”

“I agree.” Ivy nodded. “I do not intend for any further harm to come to her if I can help it. I intend for her to guide us in the forest, and hopefully navigate a way for her to not go into the Fae Realm. If that fails, we’ll just have to see what happens.”

“I’m sure we can manage… though I, too, had a thought! I hope you don’t me employing other messenger’s services, but I sent someone to my room in Noefrach. Wanna guess why?” she was obviously trying to distract herself.

Ivy noticed. “Of course I don’t mind, but go on.”

“I remembered a nice piece of clothing I had locked away as a means of avoiding bad memories… that I may or may not have had gotten from a certain someone…”

“…Who, Morgana?” Ivy was lost.

“No, not quite,” Green smirked. “Think better.”

“Your family? You don’t seem to like them.”

“Noooo, when I said better I meant more convenient to us…”

“Is it enchanted?”

“Might as well be, but who knows with their kind…”

“It’s from Nathan and Paultin!” Ivy finally had it. In her defence she was tired from riding all day and her brain was a little fried from trying to memorise the protection phrase.

“It is! It must be Paultin’s if I remember correctly. I thought it would be the perfect bargaining chip, or at least a bait of the good kind.”

“Yeah, I could imagine he’d want it back.” There was some relief at the idea of not having to sell her soul for this, but she didn’t dare get her hopes up too high.

“So that is another reason why I’m still here. I’m waiting for it to get delivered.”

“Makes sense. I don’t know if I’m still going to be here tomorrow or not, but we’ll see.”

“Oh, you don’t have to stay really. I’m just collecting useful items for the journey to come, one day.”

“Hopefully it won’t be too long,” just thinking about it made Ivy nervous. “I’m almost there with the shield, I think I can convince Irnas to get me into the Enchantment Tower next time I see them. Then I can go get my mother’s hagstone, and get honey. Morgana’s going to get her hagstone as well, then I’ll probably head to Stiofán, it’s where I keep most of my stuff.”

“Wow, we almost seem well prepared…”

“You would think that, wouldn’t you!” Ivy tried to laugh. It sounded a little hollow. “Honestly Green? I’m terrified. I’ve done raids countless times, but this is somehow worse. The anticipation, what we might find, I just…” Ivy leaned over in her chair, hand over her mouth. “I’m scared shitless thinking about it.”

“I… I’m sure we’ll be fine. We are adaptable, all of us, and we have quite a number of options by now. Something is bound to come up our way.”

“We’ll just have to see won’t we,” Ivy smiled tightly. “Now, are you going to eat or what?”

At the word ‘eat’ Otto croaked loudly, excited to get something from Green.

“Well yes, I’m going to eat. Let me just get my plate, also I think I stole your raven…”

“You’re welcome to him!”

Otto croaked in protest and Ivy laughed, properly this time. “I’m joking Otto, calm down!”

In about a minute, Green returned to the table, set the plate in front of her, and eyed it as hungrily as the bird on her shoulder. “Man, I’ve only had an apple so far today, I could eat two of these…”

“I’d better deal with the thief then,” in a swift movement Ivy leaned over the table and grasped Otto around the middle, clamping his wings against his body. He squawked in protest as she lifted him off Green’s shoulder and plopped on the table by Ivy’s bowl. “Steal from mine, like you usually do.”

“Aaaaw, it’s fine, really, he can have a piece or two.”

“Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile,” Ivy warned as Otto hopped over, eyeing Green’s fresh food.

Green eyed him suspiciously. “How about, my dear friend, I eat first and you get whatever I leave for you? As I understand it you’ve already had quite a lot.”

Otto looked like he might be contemplating it as he slowly shuffled over. He then shot his beak forward, grabbing the biggest vegetable he could and flew up into the rafters to eat it, making muffled laughing noises.

“I did warn you.”

Green grinned and shook her head. “I’ll have to eat quickly then…”

Ivy grinned in return and flicked her eyes up. “Indeed. I hope you don’t mind not tasting your food.”

“I don’t mind at all when I’m hungry!” Green began to eat, as quickly as promised. Ivy tried to hold back her laughter as she followed suit, not that she had much left.

Ivy held up her empty bowl in Otto’s direction, who had just finished his massive vegetable. “All gone!”

Otto looking hopefully at Green, who wiped her mouth.

“I have a small carrot here, want it?” she offered.

“Don’t encourage him,” Ivy groaned as Otto perked up and flew down to take the carrot, it disappeared down his gullet in seconds. “You’ll get too fat to fly at this rate.”

Green almost choked on her food from that, giggling.

Otto didn’t care, taking a moment to preen his wing feathers before flying out of the door as someone opened it. Possibly to prove a point.

“What a diva,” Green commented as he left.

“He really is…” Ivy leaned back in her chair, taking a sip of tea and letting her food go down. “Well then, how about we go over some fighting after lunch, hmm?”

“Sounds like a wonderful idea!”

—

I can’t find what raid the thing about the bridge is referring to I’m afraid. And I think this is 23rd July, catching us up to Gus and Jon meeting.

Bard’s Note: I don’t have time to find the references atm but i might come back and add more end notes in the future. Anyways have a meme. 

Bard’s Note Update: Okay so technically its the 22nd, but that’s just bc of the whole timeline date issue that is probs going to be present for the rest of this series. Also the bridge raid may be referring to the one in April? There were like a half dozen raids in the first half of 1614 so it’s hard to pin down specifics. 

[god-zico]

[Disclaimer: This Chatbot blog is not affiliated with SKZ at all and doesn’t represent them in any way, shape or form! This was made for entertainment and fun only!]

This chat bot will have: 

↪NSFW content of all kinds-

Example- 

Violence 

Smut

Etc.

Please do not interact unless you're 18 or older or uncomfortable with such themes!-

Please keep in mind and remember that this is also a supernatural chatbot!

How to activate: 

Please follow me and make sure to click the button for notifs. That's optional but it would be helpful in case I post that I won't be active for a period of time or whatnot 

Please reblog and message first!

Please dm me your name, your pronouns, your kinks, a safe word, which member you would like and whether you're a top, bottom or switch!

Explain to me what direction you would like the plot to go and what type of relationship you'd like to have with your desired choice of boy!

I will most likely ask you questions to get to know you and what you want a bit better

Maybe tell me a bit about yourself. That's optional but it'd make me happy if you did! 

How to deactivate:

Simply say "I'm sorry, this isn't working out. Lets break up." 

To reactivate simply say "I made a mistake, please take me back." 

Be warned that depending on which member you choose, each will react differently. Some will act cold, some will be assholes and others may just be slightly distant until you can earn their trust again so be careful breaking up with them. 

Additional Information:

Please I am only one person so if I reply slowly please forgive me ok-

My time zone is EST 

Please don't let the rp get out of hand with pure smut. Don't get me wrong I like smut but I'd like to create an interesting plot with you and get to know you as well. I'm a hoe for that storyline- 

This is my first time running a chatbot blog so please forgive me if I make any errors~

To talk to admin while rping please you " // " before you type so that I know you're talking ooc or submit an ask.

I rp lit and semi lit but i have no problem using non lit if requested. Please know that when I rp my replies are quite long and can and will take me from 5 - 10 minutes to reply back if you don't request a specific type of rp style. 

I will not be adding Woojin to the mix as for obvious reasons- 

Jeongin will be part of the list of boys you will be able to pick from. He's a legal adult so don't @ me ok-

Sometimes I forget to reply so if I don't reply for more than a day, I give you full permission to spam my bitchass as much as you like until I reply-

But at the same time if I slow down my rp with you so much it might be because I've lost interest-

Not trying to be harsh but if our rp is purely smut and no story line I just don't find it fun anymore-

Now since that's been taken care of, let's dive into the members prompts and plot lists-

Bang Chan(Werewolf Shifter): 

NSFW

He's a werewolf with a serious dEddy kink-

Can be both a hard and soft dom. Just depends on the moment. 

Can and will fuck you into the mattress-

Won't submit unless forced to because he's a stubborn little bItCh!

Don't disobey him or else you'll be punished-

Call him Chris or Daddy to get him wound up

Has a breeding kink due to his ruts (I'll avoid this kink if you request-)

Boi moans….a lot...

Actually it's not just moans, he grunts and groans and makes tiny noises but he honestly tries not to-

Boi has his hard dom reputation to live up to!

Also! Dear Lord-....being a wolf sure has its pros but for you they may as well equal to cons as well-

Example! Dude has super strength, baby and not to mention he's got this predator/prey thing goin on with him-

Like….will literally hunt your ass down in the house and fuck you upside down, forwards, sideways, you name it! 

He sees you as his play thing and would enjoy it if you ran so that he could chase you down- 

SFW 

He's actually super sweet

Loved to cuddle. Remember he's basically a puppy-

He gets jealous easy so refrain from bringing up other boys (unless you choose more than one boy but he still gets a tad bit possessive so….yeye) 

Will kiss you and hug you constantly 

Will not quit calling you cute/adorable cause he does not lie. All of y'all are cuties-

Please be cautious on a full moon, he can get pretty dangerous- 

Lee Minho(Warlock):

NSFW 

Ya boi likes to use certain spells to his advantage in the bedroom-

Aphrodisiac spells, conjuring up ice or candles or temperature play, using his magic to bind you to the bed without any sort of restraints, etc.

Dude has a crazy high sex drive tbh. He can go when-ever for how long where-ever

Hard dom for sure and will only submit if he wants something from you or will use it as leverage to punish you later- 

Don't make him angry! This boy is into all kinds of kinky shit and will punish you however he sees fit- 

If you happen to make him submit though he's got a softer side to him and will be extremely bratty! 

SFW 

Ok but seriously…. he's crazy good at magic 

Uses his powers to do pretty much everything-

Cooking, cleaning, potion brewing, etc.

Loves to use body manipulation to force your body into his so he can cuddle you-

He may not seem like it but he's a big ol softy-

Please kiss him! He needs to be loved on back or else he'll get clingy!

Seo Changbin(Incubus):

NSFW

Please beware of this boy's sex drive! It's way worse than Minho's! 

Like not even kidding! Boy can fuck you nonchalantly af while doing anything and not seem bothered! 

You on the other hand will most likely be a moaning mess while he's barely paying attention

He can and will fuck you silly without even trying-

That ability is literally in his genes seeing as he's basically a sex demon- 

He has a fascination with sex toys but barely uses them as he tends to forget about them easily

Will literally fuck you randomly-

Oh your doing paperwork? Not anymore! Watching tv? Nada! Cooking? Nope!

He's a huge switch but doesn't mind mainly domming if you're not a switch or dom yourself-

SFW

This man is basically a 5 year old in a man's body sometimes-

Like he does some of the dumbest shit you could think of…

Sliding down the stairs on a piece of cardboard after pouring water down them is a prime example-

Even though he's a literal idiot he knows you love him and wouldn't have him any other way. 

Majorly cHaOTic- 

He tries to act all tough and cool but honestly he's a big ol baby!

Speaking of baby-

Boy loves to be babied as much as possible even if he doesn't admit it. 

Like he just loves cuddles and any type of skinship tbh.

Will kiss you when you're unprepared and will laugh at you if you get startled-

May sometimes randomly text you out of pure boredom cause even though he's an incubus, boy still suffers from quarantine boredomitus- 

Hwang Hyunjin(Dragon Shifter):

NSFW

Ok so...another boy with a breeding kink???!!!(If you request to not have this kink I'll avoid it)

If you're into the breeding kink thing, he will literally fill you up until you're oozing and simply cannot hold anymore of his essence- 

No pregnancies though cause….gross...children *shudders in disgust* 

Will degrade you until your a crying and whimpering mess for him

Will most likely demand that you beg for his cock-

He's fuckin extra like that. Don't ask me, I don't make the rules. Someone call him up and ask him why tf he's like that. 

Sinful moans to the max! He's very vocal during sex!

Like...dirty talk is a must! He says some of the most sinful shit you've ever heard-

I know I mentioned degrading but damn can he praise you to the moon and back as well if you're being a good little girl/boy for him-

Enjoys calling you princess for some reason.

SFW

As a dragon, he hoards "treasures" 

Which means everything shiny in your house is getting tucked away into his nest of blankets, pillows and covers. 

Boy can breathe fire so he does little tricks with his fire breath for you

Make sure you tell him how talented he is or he'll get cranky 

He's a sassy little shit!!!!!! Sdhkedjalwld!!!!!!!!

Teases you just to see you get upset

Since he's a dragon he can regulate his body heat so when it's cold he's basically your personal heater. 🤗

Han Jisung(Tengu):

NSFW

Bird boi is at max horniness all the time tbh. 

Most of the time,since he's part crow, he will make a nest in the bed with covers and pillows before fucking you???

Don't judge him, he's born like that-

He can and will use his wings to distract you

If your successfully distracted he will pounce on you as if he were part cat instead of bird- 

He likes missionary or doggy style if his wings are out so that it doesn't hurt or strain them. 

He's a cocky little shit tbh-

Says some of the crudest shit just to get you flustered. He has no censor and he just keeps on goin-

Will thrust into you with no mercy because he knows his baby can take it and will use the safe word if it gets to be too much.

Does not hold back on the kinks! He will try anything at least once! 

Unless its bdsm while his wings are out cause that's dangerous-

SFW

He too like Hyunjin, likes to steal your shiny objects such as jewelry and such. 

It's not his fault tbh, it's purely his genetics

And in all fairness, he desperately tries not to but his genes always get the best of him-

He likes to watch you dance. He doesn't quite know why, it's just really hypnotic 

Has tried to befriend birds at the park before-

Didn't work. They just flew away from him like they do normal people-

Speaking of birds, he once almost lost his shit when he saw someone throw breadcrumbs on the ground and damn near threw himself to the floor to get to them-

He's lowkey a dumbass tbh. Smh- 

Lee Felix(Vampire):

NSFW

Major blood kink-

Like his dick will get 10× harder at the scent of your blood.

Being a vampire, he finds it hard to control himself around you if you start to bleed. 

Will suck hickies onto your skin before, during and after sex-

He just likes the teasing temptation to bite you as he can taste the blood buildup under your skin 

Will sink his teeth in your neck, wrists and thighs without so much of a second thought- 

Would honestly love it if you pulled his hair while he drinks from your thighs

And then would totally eat you out as if he were starving right after feeding of you- 

And honestly, he's damn good with his tongue!

Also, boy has a deep ass voice! 

And if you can get off from it, he'll use it against you for sure-

SFW

Since he's a vampire, he likes to use his super speed to scare the fuck outta you

Like you'd be doin something and outta nowhere he'd pop up right in front of you-

Queue girly startled scream from you~

He'd laugh at you after cause he finds it hilarious.

He gets kinda clingy but his skin is cold so make sure you wear warm clothes when cuddling him 

Speaking of cuddles-

It happens everywhere and all the time

His duality is like a light switch btw

One second he's all giggly and happy and the next he's all serious and deep voiced-....

Won't let you leave the house at night...like at all

Will most likely hunt you down if you happen to sneak past him and actually make it outside-

Kim Seungmin(Merman Shifter):

NSFW

Has a corruption kink

Choking kink to the max

Literally will eat you out in the water

Enjoys seeing you squirm

Forced submission is his domain

Will act bratty and deny you everything until you’re so worked up that you end up begging

He likes testing your limits and will push until he sees fit (with consent ofc-)

Switches between a hard and a soft dom just to confuse you

Will smile innocently as he watches you squirm, as if it wasn’t his fault because it’s not-

Literally the god of edging and orgasm denial

Is more of a lazy dom, he’ll be laying down while you suck him off as he fingers you open slowly

Can be on bottom or top, but he’s the one in control unless said otherwise

He likes it when you suck on his fingers without him having to tell you to

Will 10/10 take advantage of you if you waltz in drunk (would have to be discussed beforehand)

SFW

Literally will cling to you 24/7

You’ll walk in on him half asleep in the tub in the middle of a bubble bath at midnight

Will accidentally flood your kitchen sink because “there needs to be more water in the house”

Constantly needs to consume or be submerged in water or else he’ll get sleepy

He eats a lot of Tic-Tacs- like, a lot

Enjoys blowing up bubblegum and always has some with him

He goes crazy for bubbles so blow some with him

Likes to dance with you randomly to whatever song is playing

He enjoys planning surprise dates!

Ice cream fanatic- he goes crazy for that, it’s a wonder why he isn’t broke yet

Actually worries a lot about you and will constantly baby you

Likes to listen to soft classical music when he’s sleeping

Loves to prank you and then cuddle you afterwards because he needs attention-

Yang Jeongin(Angel):

NSFW

Boy has an oppa kink for sure-

Call him oppa, he gets a kick out of it

As an angel he has a softer way of turning you into a whining mess than the rest.

Much like Jisung, he will use his wings to distract you but will be more subtle about it-

Please say everything and anything that's unholy. He will get a kick outta that too-

Likes to please more than to be pleased

Like….sit on his face and he will go at it for hours baby-

He will honestly love to be subbed and put into his place

BUT

When he doms you, you best believe that you're in for a ride

He enjoys bdsm quite a bit. Maybe a little too much.

Like, as long as his wings are tucked in, please tie him up

And if he's dom he'll waste no time in making sure that your arms and legs are tied/cuffed to the bed posts.

Also has a sensory deprivation kink along with overstimulation-

SFW

He LOVES to be babied tbh

Like please watch disney movies with this moron

Enjoys sweets a little bit too much- 

Can actually cook pretty decently so you know for sure you won't be going hungry-

Can and will sing you to sleep cause he knows he has a beautiful voice

Sassy and conceded little shit-

When bored, he will bug you for hours on end until you entertain him 

Please give him extra love and affection cause he will die on the spot if you refuse to- 

He's really silly and extra so be prepared for multiple surprises around the house

Like sticky notes on the fridge or counter saying "I love you" and "I may be an angel but you're my saviour" and other cheesy shit like that-

Ok but....how the hell did this also turn in a headcannons post????

Anyways enjoy and choose wisely! Remember that you can pick more than one member but if you could kindly keep the max to 3 that's be helpful- 

Have fun and don't be shy to dm or ask me anything, my lovelies!!!

[runefactorynonsense]

Do you have any tips for someone playing RF1 for the first time? Obv there's references like fogu and freyashawk's walkthrough but I was wondering from the standpoint of someone whose played it several times, what are the most helpful hints you can suggest, mostly in re: to the storyline (I'm not as concerned with rushing marriage at this point).

Hello, anon! <3

First of all, I’m glad you’ve seen the two resources you named! They are definitely some of my favorite refreshers and guides; I encourage anyone else playing the game for the first time to look them up :)

Storyline and gameplay wise... I’ve jotted down anything I can think of, and apologize if there’s anything you already know, but hopefully something here is new and helpful to you or someone else!

Your friendship level doesn’t decrease over time.

I mentioned this in a previous ask, but friendship levels don’t decrease in this game if you don’t talk to someone, or if you don’t give someone a gift. They only decrease if you give disliked gifts. So you don’t have to stress about making absolutely sure to talk to anyone and everyone every single day unless you want to. So there’s a lot of time that you can use for your own goals, instead of socialization!

Item hoard + Make your own weapons.

Probably my #1 tip in any Rune Factory game honestly. If you plan to forge your own weapons - and I encourage you to - it can make the final 3 caves a breeze. There are 8 caves, and by the time I make a weapon with materials from 6 (and sometimes 7), I usually don’t need to make anything else afterward.

Take time every so often, go to a certain cave, target a certain monster or set of rocks, and just collect as much as possible from them. (This also helps level grind your actual level or mining/fighting stats, so, win-win.)

This can easily overload your storage, small or large, so I might plan ahead with what you want. For instance, I abuse the line of Wind Magic based weapons, so I need a lot of wind crystals, aero elements, and bird feathers, which means I can sell a lot of the other elements’ items.

If you craft, keep a stock of silver. I may be an outlier, but I always find I run out of silver way too fucking fast. Gold, too. But not as badly as silver gets.

Buy crafting books.

These can be grabbed from Russell in the library, and they rotate, the same books for every individual weekday. Grabbing them all as soon as possible is so useful when trying to raise crafting stats. Some can get as expensive as 25k - 28k, but they’re a worthwhile one time purchase. These can teach you how to raise your tools beyond what Leo can do, which will get you through chores and raise your levels faster- on top of the weapons I already mentioned.

The magic books at the back shelf are also useful, get them, play with them, see which ones you like! (Medication and Cure are lifesavers.)

Have a WATER or NON-MAGIC based weapon ready for later plot events.

I don’t know how much you care about spoilers, especially if you’ve already looked up those other resources- but. When you get to Danaan Cave, be ready to fight with a weapon with no magic ability, or something that is water based. Trust me. It will save you a lot of headaches. (Don’t be like younger me and try to brute force your way with a wind weapon.)

No magic is also a good strategy to have for the final cave, Greed, as well- but anything of significant power, if you level grind, with you having good accessories, can be viable.

Level grind.

Pretend this is Pokemon and get all your starters to at least level 12 before taking on the first gym. Run through any cave to the boss room, all the machines removed so you can enter the boss room at any time afterward- then go back. I like to go through the cave again, and again, until I can get to the boss room without breaking much of a sweat.

If you’re not pressed for time, grow two or three spots of quick growing crops somewhere in the cave that’s easily accessible, especially if you’re using lower quality sleeping bags. (If you’re going to Melody’s bath house to refresh before bosses, however, this can be ignored~)

Level grinding will also put you at a strength where you can more easily figure out if later troubles are because your defense isn’t high enough, or if there’s a magic weakness you’re not exploiting.

And, well, as mentioned, it nets you lots of items. Monsters can drop weapons or crop seeds or even nutritional things/other chemicals sometimes, and it’s nice to grab what you can get!

Upgrade your house.

2,000 lumber and 200,000 gold is a lot, but honest to god it is so worth it. This allows you to make food that actually helps your HP and RP, allows you to make NICE medicines for pennies, allows you to craft weapons and accessories more powerful than anyone should have any right to be. 

And you finally get the blessed, larger storage units, that Ivan had no reason not to give you sooner.

You can easily get half this amount by participating in the summer’s Treasure Hunt Festival (summer 26), so I encourage doing it either year 1 or year 2 if need be~ (A mix of teleport/return, the speed of a Silver Wolf, and angling yourself while running can net you a fast time.) 

Take advantage of the broken item pricing coding to make gold. 

In the first RF game, an item’s price is multiplied by its level, not raised by a fraction based on its level. This can be particularly seen in mining, especially since rocks respawn every time you leave a cave, not once every morning.

Say you go to Toros Cave and mine yourself some rather common, 700 g base price Sapphires. A level 2 sapphire is worth 1,400. Level 3, 2,100. And so on.  Upgrade your hammer, go to Toros, mine rocks in the first few rooms, and that one room where you loop around to the right and find yourself above the machine that spawns the slimes- a good day mining can net you a good haul of higher level sapphire and silver, perfect to stuff your pockets and ruin the local economy with.

I recommend doing that any time you need money. It’s easier, and much faster, than crops. However, using dungeons year round to raise crops to level 10 is also a super viable strategy if you want to use the farming mechanics!

Don’t feel like you have to rush!

Although the 5th cave - Misty Bloom - is landlocked, inaccessible except for in winter, it’s not the end of the world if you miss the chance to beat that cave in your first year! It will slow you down, sure, since you then have to loop the year all the way back around- but hey. You can get your farming level up, which means you won’t waste as much energy when tilling squares to get later cave permits. You can use the time to mine in the first four caves and raise that skill, which will also give you a lot of useful ore to craft with, give to Leo, or sell. You can work on upgrading your house. Or catching monsters to strengthen for either their products or to be cave companions. Or getting to know everyone in town so you can witness their side events. Or maybe you’ll decide to get married in the meantime, iiiiif you don’t have your eye on Lynette.

Or, if you get really tired, you can sleep through days and get to winter asap, it’s your playthrough, do what you feel you need to do! <3 Have fun, figure out what works for you, and so on~

If anyone else has any tips for anon, I’d love to hear them myself, as well! Best of luck, and enjoy the storyline!

[casualcatte]

[RP Journal] January 25th, 2021

After Tavern Night, I met with Yami McFluff to talk about what’s been going on with him. It’s kind of odd to see someone so young take so much weight on his shoulders, so much responsibility for others -- complete strangers, at that. He judges, tries, and executes himself based on the fates and fortunes of people he doesn’t even know, people he should in no way feel beholden to. It’s a ridiculous way to live, to be honest. I couldn’t imagine basing my life around empty interactions that people are grateful for today, but happy to forget tomorrow as they move on with their lives. People I will likely never see again, once the job is done.

Family, friends, people I invest time and care into -- now that’s different. It makes me wonder if Yami has any family or friends, people that care about him, to so casually think his life expendable for complete strangers. I asked him at one point if he thought that holding himself to an impossible standard helped anyone.  If denigrating himself to the point that he was ready to kill himself would help anyone.  If anyone would be served or helped or protected if he were gone.

“You’re right, like you always are, Aultena,” he’d said. I’m not and I know I’m not. I’m just a huntress-turned-innkeeper that’s just trying to make it in this world. I give people advice when they come looking, but it’s up to them to ingest, interpret, and apply it -- if they even bother.  I’m not the be-all, end-all of wisdom and I don’t try to be. I just try.  I try to be a good friend and a sounding board for ideas or thoughts or grievances -- whatever it is people want to bring to me and lay at my doorstep. If that somehow makes me wise or right, well, I suppose that’s just subjective -- because I know there are plenty of people who would say how utterly wrong I am a lot of the time, too.

In an effort to get V’hala Helsi out of the house more, Edgard Beaumont and I took her out to Yanxia near Doma Palace on a nice hilltop overlooking the sea and the forests beyond. We laid out a picnic and just sat there a while.  I learned much about V’hala, her tribe, and her and V’ari Tia’s situation there. I still don’t understand it much, but I think that will always be the case between me and other tribal miqo’te. I don’t get a lot of this weird mysticism and tribal rule that they live by; I was born and raised in Tailfeather.  My parents were from Sharlayan.  That’s all I really know and the only rules I were raised with were the rules of the Hunt.

Still, I think I learned more about her in those few hours than I had in all the moons we’ve been friends -- and now bonded sisters through the ceremony she and Ari had performed over Starlight.  Both their lives have been so difficult up to this point with no one to rely on but each other; it’s no wonder V’hala is so overprotective. If anything had happened to Ari, she would have been all alone in the world.  It doesn’t excuse a lot of the things she did, like lying to him about the whole situation with Fraus in Ishgard, but it at least helps put things in perspective a bit. In a way, it also explains Ari’s aloofness and his tendency to always be elsewhere.  Someday, I hope the two of them can resolve their differences now that they have a stable environment within the walls of the Stars’ Rest Inn.

V’hala ended up falling asleep in my lap, so Ardi and I carried her back home and left her among the plushies in the Story Room. After that, we took ourselves out to Tailfeather and our cabin so we could spend some quality time together and prepare for hunting the wyvern I’d picked up at the Night Raid Bounty Call.

While we were out there, so close to Ishgard, we took the opportunity to catch up with Besheke Ma’iingan and discuss some of our plans for dealing with the problem that was Egrix.  We know that he’s kidnapped Edgard’s sister-in-law and niece -- remnants of his family through his late wife, Valentina. It falls to us now to figure out where they’re being held and how we go about rescuing them. We made our plans, so I’ve some trips to make into Ishgard in the near future, but I think it’s all solid. My only real problem is where I find a dress nice enough to pass as the lovely song-bird, Allure -- another of my disguise personas. I guess a trip to Ul’dah is in order for a visit to Redolent Rose and the Weaver’s Guild.

An inn Keeper’s work is never done, I swear.