#roy energy

[courtmartialme]

wow more chimera riza !!!!!!!!!!!!! since riza "dies" not long after ishval the elrics don't meet her. so they learn about her when finding a picture in roy's stuff. hughes ends up being the one telling the elrics about riza (i think he'd convince roy to tell him about why her death affects roy so much, so hughes knows about the tattoo and stuff) before the elrics end up coming across chimera riza at devil's nest.

i usually completely ignore the elrics in these kinda aus❤️ but in this one it's thanks to them royai get to meet again. i don't care about roy and elrics interacting at all but in this au specifically i think it's cute if they bond over caring for riza after she's rescued

[jametartt]

2x02 / 3x03

[bleulone]

"And the most important, Roi, is that you have shown pride. And dignity. And balls"

JULIO PEÑA FERNÁNDEZ as ROI in BERLÍN (2023-)

[comfycel]

old man i need you x 1000

[marvelling-at-marvel-blog]

I like to imagine that after he retires from football, Dani becomes a match day commentator. Just imagine the pure energy and joy he would bring. I dont think he would be the most insightful, tactiful presenter of the boys from the team who could go on to do this, but he would be the most joyous

It would be the best and most frustrating thing ever. Like the team you loce is down 0-2 and his still so positive. Your lead goal scorer missed the easy goal, but Rojas commentated that his new shoes look amazing and he thinks they bring happiness to the field. He also likes to throw in random facts that he thinks will bring happiness or that someone has told him.

I mean, he chooses this carer because he wants to bring joy and foot all is life.

But there is a rule after the first time that he should not do mexico matches because that brings out a different Dani Rojas and the audiences ears still haven't recovered from the first time.

[kimwxlers]

Frankie Boyle and Ivo Graham in TASKMASTER: Series 15

[circusbythesea]

just a little kid in stitches

[gothamite-rambler]

"I am SNOWFLAME! Every cell of my being burns with white-hot ecstasy. Cocaine is my god, and I am the human instrument of its will!" Snowflame exclaimed.

Snowflame (singing in a gruff voice): Oh Harley! Oh Harley!

Harley (dread): Not this guy. Roy, stand back.

Roy (Arsenal): Can you not say my government name out here?

Harley (looking around nervously): Yeah, yeah, stay behind me.

Roy: Why, what's going on?

Snowflame: HEY I'M BEHIND YOU!

Jason (to Roy): Get ready for this.

The trio turned around, with Harley stepping in front to shield the bewildered Roy. They spotted Snowflame the cocaine powered supervillain, just as an electrifying guitar riff blared out, despite the fact that they were outdoors with no speakers around them.

Snowflame: I AM SNOWFLAME! EVERY CELL OF MY BEING BURNS WITH WHITE-HOT ECSTASY. COCAINE IS MY GOD, AND I AM THE HUMAN INSTRUMENT OF ITS WILL! COCAINE GIVES ME LIFE, ENERGY, POWERS MY SOUL! SNOWFLAME!

Roy (debating if the electric guitar riff in the background was real): Am I high or is there a guitar riff in the background?

Harley (aggravated): We still don't know where it's coming from. Are you high? If that's what's happening, get out of here!

Roy groaned, refusing to respond, covering his face in annoyance. Jason shook his head, signaling that Roy wasn't high.

Snowflame: Harley, Helmet man... Ginger man I've not met yet how dare you return to my jungle! I sell COCAINE to give others the euphoria that COCAINE provides! They can never be as powerful as I-

Harley (aggravated): Stop, stop, stop! Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I get it! He gets it. You say this speech every time I've had to deal with ya and turn off that guitar riff! I can't hear my thoughts!

Snowflame placed his hands on his hips, annoyed, then snapped his fingers, causing the music to stop. Roy looked around, surprised that the music had actually stopped.

Roy: What?

Roy started walking around, searching for speakers, while Jason chuckled, amused by the situation. Harley rubbed her forehead in frustration.

Harley: God, you're like the Creeper mixed with the Joker.

Snowflame (unhinged): You're no fun. Typical freaks like you who can't handle the true power that the life giver COCAINE provides!

Harley: Oh my God, Roy are you okay? Do you need to go a good distance. I know all the toxic drug talk is probably clouding your mind?

Roy (confused): I'm fine.

Harley: You sure? I get if you need to be away from this walkin' drug dealer.

Roy (offended): OH FUCK YOU!

Snowflame (gasping in horror): Have you deprived the follower of COCAINE the sweet white ecstasy to life? Ginger man, join me and we will rule the world with the power of COCAINE!

Roy (loud): I was never on cocaine! Harley, you don't seriously think- Of course you do... of course you do! Why did I go with you guys?!

Harley: That's what I'm sayin'. You can get a contact high from this coke head! Hood I told you to let him wait in the car!

Jason: Nah, I'm enjoying this.

Snowflame: Enjoy if you must, inferior male! My contact highs would explode your mind. Only I can feel the true power of my sweet nectar to life!

Jason (rubbing his forehead): I'm getting a headache being around him again. Roy, if you need another job he's hiring and pays in cocaine.

Harley: Hood! Stop it. Roy-

Roy: Stop calling me that! I'm not Ginger Man, and for this mission, I am not ROY! Is the name Arsenal that difficult to remember?! I was never on COKE either, you jackasses!

Harley (shielding Roy): I know how those gateway drugs work. Snowflame, keep ya distance from us we don't want your coke crack.

Roy: Those are different drugs.

Jason (trying not to laugh): You're not helping your case.

Roy crossed his arms and walked a few feet away, reluctantly agreeing with his friend.

Snowflame: You may attempt to inflict pain on me, but I warn you, one blow to me will make me stronger! I am no ordinary man! You see before you a man ON FIRE! A man who has consumed enough cocaine to kill a bear, but not I! I will not give up my magical powers that are provided by COCAINE! FOR I AM SNOWFLAME!

Roy: Is he OD-ing or is this some torture method from the matrix?

The guitar riff blared back to life. Jason laughed at the sound, while Roy looked bewildered.

Roy: Seriously, how does he do that?

Snowflame: COCAINE MAKES ME DO THIS. AND WHAT IS THIS OD? OVERDOSING? BAAH! I am IMMUNE to such a weak act! I BURN with thought, accelerated thought! Always moving. Always on! I never sleep! I am the ONE!

Harley: Says the man who ate three bricks of cocaine like they were brownies.

Jason (clapping): Okay... I can't every time... he's like an escaped mental patient.

Harley: J- Red Hood, you are insulting your boyfriend!

Roy: I'm not insulted... We're not dating! I'm embarrassed for this Snowflame nutjob and pissed off.

Harley (turning to Snowflame): See what you done? He's mad.

Snowflame: Hahahahaha! WEAK! Another FREAK who can't handle the true flame to life! I will never give up my COCAINE! COCAINE is my God, I am its vessel and I am the human instrument of its will! I relish you weaklings to defeat me for I know you will LOSE!

As the guitar riff came to an end, Snowflame nodded, pleased with his monologue. Meanwhile, Harley glanced at her nonexistent watch.

Harley (irritated): You done?

Snowflame crossed his arms and nodded, as if to indicate that he had successfully made his outrageous point.

Harley: Goodie… can we have a moment to chat?

Snowflame: Yes, I will prepare over here! Precious COCAINE let's get started.

Snowflame sat down on the ground next to a cutting board piled high with white powder. He began chopping it up with a credit card, treating it as if he were dining on a gourmet meal.

Jason stood by, chuckling at the deranged drug addict. Meanwhile, Harley walked over to Roy and yanked him by the arm, keeping a safe distance from the cocaine-fueled supervillain.

Harley: We got about a minute, look at that man's smile. There's only one thing runnin' through that coke fiend's mind and it's snortin' coke which gives him more energy. What’s your plan, Jason?

Roy (suggesting an idea): What if-

Harley (raising a hand to silence Roy): Nuh-uh, R-Arrow man? Nah, that’s not it… I forget your hero name most of the time. Ginger man, I can’t, in good faith, let you be close to him. I don’t want you relapsin'. Sit this one out.

Harley turned Roy away, snapping her fingers like a strict parent and pointing in the direction of the car. Roy growled in frustration, gripping his bow tightly in anger.

Jason (nodding in agreement with Harley): I can't believe I'm saying this, but she has a point… A solid point. I got a contact high just from punching him once, so yeah, sit it out.

Roy: But-

Harley: Nuh-uh. Car. .

Roy (pouting and stomping his foot): Man, this is embarrassing! It wasn’t even coke I was addicted to; it was heroin! I’ve been clean for years! Damn it!

Roy took a few steps away and sat down, clearly annoyed. He refused to go to the car like a child.

Harley (to Jason): Jason, what’s the plan?

Jason (holding up his gun): Can I shoot him?

Harley: Yeah, but he’s strange. He can take a bullet, I’m not sure-

Jason shot Snowflame five times as the man bounced around after snorting his booger sugar. Snowflame fell to the ground. Five seconds passed then he jumped to his feet.

Jason (surprised): I forgot he could do that, but I was high after punching him. You gotta admit that is kind of awesome.

Harley groaned, rolling her eyes.

Snowflame: FOOLS! You think your measly human bullets can stop the COCAINE that flows through my blood! I am a TRUE GOD! Fueled by sweet co-

Roy (at his breaking point): Would you shut up!

Roy shot Snowflame with an arrow. The guitar riff abruptly cut off, but the former addict paid it no mind as he grabbed another arrow and nocked it in his bow.

Roy: I didn’t go through withdrawals, one relapse, custody battles, and losing my father figure just to deal with some 80s villain!

He fired another arrow, then another, and another—totaling four in all. Snowflame toppled backward, one arrow embedded in his arm, one in his stomach, one puncturing his hip, and the last lodged in his thigh. Despite the injuries, Snowflame remained hyped up but severely wounded.

Snowflame (weakly): Snowflame ... Will tap out.

Jason clapped as Roy seethed, letting out a frustrated groan.

Roy (fuming): What an asshole. I can’t stand guys like that. I’m heading to the car, and it’s my choice!

Harley nodded, thinking she admired Roy's determination. Meanwhile, Jason noticed how irritated Roy was by the coke addict bragging about something he had struggled with for so long, a battle he had fought to escape from that dark place.

Harley: I'm proud of him. High-five?

Jason brushed past Harley to reach Snowflame.

Jason: You’re lucky Arsenal got pissed off.

Harley shrugged and gave herself a high five.

Harley: My years as a rehab counselor are paying off.

Jason: You were a drug counselor too?

Harley: I was a psychiatrist, obviously. And I didn’t sleep with my teachers!

Jason (laughing): Understood.

[jamietwat]

Jamie and Roy spending ridiculous amounts of time together and Phoebe knowing about it definitely means that Jamie’s around Phoebe a lot more in the off-season when she’s off school and Roy’s off work but still being Jamie’s personal trainer for free (and she definitely likes bossing Jamie around just as much as Roy does and finds the ridiculous shit Roy makes him do hilarious)

And you know that thing where kids love to randomly go watch this, I can do a somersault or want to see me do a cartwheel? and then you just have to awkwardly stand there and be like wow whether they actually can do them or not (and sometimes several times in a row have to try to think of something new to say the fifth time they do the exact same thing and then look to you for a reaction)

I’m just saying at some point they’re in some park and Phoebe definitely pulls a look how good I’m getting at cart wheels, Uncle Roy! around Jamie at some point and while Roy just stands there like 🧍‍♂️ and gives compliments that gradually get more and more deadpan and debates turning it into saying how much more impressive that is than anything Jamie’s done all morning but he doesn’t because he’s 90% sure that would just lead to Jamie getting all indignant and competitive and proving he can cartwheel too as if Roy isn’t already annoyingly aware of that from when he was dying trying to keep up with Jamie in Amsterdam while he was cartwheeling and practically skipping

But obviously Roy not saying anything doesn’t matter anyway and Jamie turns it into being like watch this to Phoebe and cartwheeling too and turning to Roy after like well go on, tell me how good I am at that too

Roy deadpans somehow it’s far less impressive watching a grown man cartwheel for attention. It’s just sad, really

But Jamie isn’t offended at all and just shoots Roy an obnoxious smirk and insists you’re just saying that because you know you couldn’t do one. Even trying would probably end with you needing a hip replacement or something

But before Roy can even properly argue or say something bitchy back, Jamie’s turning back to Phoebe with a how about this then? But even though it’s her he asks, it’s Roy he looks to the moment he finishes running a few steps and doing a one-handed cartwheel

And Jamie’s like well now are you impressed??? And god, Roy resents that he is and he could make a dig about how useless of a skill it was as an adult and how that wouldn’t accomplish anything on the pitch and he’d just look like one of the kids that picks flowers on the pitch instead of playing or even paying attention to where the ball is, but instead he rolls his eyes and says yeah okay

And Jamie beams but he doesn’t have time to properly gloat and give Roy shit because Phoebe’s already bossing him around telling him that he has to teach her how to do that too

[pluckyredhead]

Okay hear me out: DC 10 Things I Hate About You AU. (I guess really it's a Taming of the Shrew AU but honestly fuck The Taming of the Shrew. Leave that shrew alone.)

No capes (although working capes into this somehow would be hilarious).

Bruce won't let Tim (freshman) date until Jason (sophomore) dates. He let Dick (senior) date as a freshman and it was a mistake, mostly because he had to listen to so. Much. Drama.

No one will date Jason because he is terrifying.

Kon (who has no money) wants to date Tim so Bart comes up with the brilliant idea that they get Bernard (who has money) to pay Roy (Dick's weird ex-junkie ex-friend who went to rehab for a while and isn't afraid of anything and also there are RUMORS about his BIG SECRET) to date Jason.

(The BIG SECRET is Lian. Roy is a Teen Dad.)

Bernard isn't the villain in this or anything he just has money.

Tim doesn't even particularly want to date anyone anyway. He's busy mousing around the linkfarm.

Maybe Kon and Bernard wind up dating???

Anyway then the plot of 10 Things I Hate About You happens, I don't have to explain this to you.

Damian is like 9 and a turbo brat to everyone all the time.

The "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" scene is exactly the same.

[junotter]

Roy asks for help understanding this "tiktok" Phoebe keeps talking about but Jamie is no help

[puppypeter]

royjamie AU where roy is himself and in the hospital for his knee surgery with complications and a long recovery and jamie is a pediatric nurse with colourful scrubs who Dr O Sullivan assigns to her brother because he won't stop acting like a little kid

[bleulone]

JULIO PEÑA FERNÁNDEZ as ROI in BERLÍN (2023-)

[pectinpeeress]

I kind of find it funny when people speculate over whether or not different FMA characters are neurodivergent… like bestie their magic system is powered by obsessing over chemistry and physics they’re certainly not neurotypical.

[loveandthings11]

My mind immediately went here

[earthiron]

chose your type of classic sitcom nerd