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Wait And Bleed
Murderdolls were on a high with their 2002 debut album. Before Joey Jordison knew it, Wednesday 13 had 30 new songs written…but was going it alone.
Words: Dom Lawson
On July 12, 2003, the band that Slipknot drummer Joey Jordison had formed with his friend, vocalist Wednesday 13, as a bit of light relief from the relentless touring and ferocious intensity of his day job, performed to a sold-out Brixton Academy in London. Within a year of releasing their debut album, 2002’s brilliantly snotty Beyond The Valley Of The Murderdolls, this goofy, sleazy horror-punk side-project had evolved beyond all expectations, like some kind of many-headed Frankenstein, and won the hearts of thousands of fans. In the UK in particular, Murderdolls rocketed from nowhere to the brink of hugeness, accruing a hysterical army of red’n’black-clad admirers who had fallen wholesale for the band’s party-all-night-and-fuck-the-consequences philosophy. What started as a liberating side-project had mutated into something with the potential to conquer the world…all of which makes the fact that Murderdolls left Brixton, buggered off back across the Atlantic and then vanished for seven years somewhat confusing.
But now it’s the summer of 2010 and Murderdolls are back at last. And so, as Joey Jordison and Wednesday 13 settle down on a small leather sofa in the air-conditioned downstairs bar of a swanky Soho hotel to speak with Metal Hammer about their reunion, imminent comeback and brand new studio album, Women and Children Last, it’s finally time to ask the question: Gentleman, where the fuck have you been?
“We don’t bullshit and there’s no reason to lie.” says Joey, shades on and as serious as hell. “After we got done with the tour for Beyond The Valley Of The Murderdolls, we ended on a high note at Brixton Academy, but then of course I had to go back and start up Slipknot again. Me and Wednesday were still in contact and he had demoed like 30 songs and sent me a CD, but the next thing I know, he’s doing a solo record and he didn’t tell me! I didn’t understand it. I was like, ‘Don’t you wanna do another Murderdolls record?’, but I can’t tell him not to go and do what he wants to do, you know? So I had to go and do my stuff with [Slipknot album] Volume 3 (The Subliminal Verses) and we did the whole tour, and we met up again during that tour. We hadn’t talked in a while, so it was kinda weird, but once we talked and crossed paths…”
“We met in a trailer at Rock Im Park in Germany.” recalls Wednesday. “It was 100° and all the crew people were like, ‘Get in there and work it out!’ and they threw us in there and shut the door! That’s when we sorted everything out.”
Having patched things up after what sounds like a fairly minor falling out, Joey and Wednesday still didn’t exactly rush into a Murderdolls reunion. In fact, another five years have passed since the initial exchange of apologies and explanations. In terms of squandering momentum, this hiatus will take some beating, and yet Women and Children Last oozes a level of intensity that was never even hinted at by Murderdolls first time round. Apparently absence makes the fire blaze harder…
“To other people, eight years [between albums] must seem like a long time.” says Wednesday. “But if you think about fuckin’ everything that Joey’s done and everything that I’ve done in that period, that’s a lot of shit! Combined, we’ve done more than bands do in a 20-year period. Joey did two Slipknot records, a Ministry tour, played with Korn, did Roadrunner United, produced 3 Inches Of Blood and played with Satyricon and I did three solo records, an EP, two country records and started a whole new band…”
“We were never enemies at all.” adds Joey. “We just got confused. After we met up again, we were on speaking terms and having conversations by texting and we were thinking that maybe we’d just let Murderdolls be the band with the cult following that it was and let sleeping dogs lie. But then the moment of clarity came to me about two years ago. I was at home on a break and I was sleeping on my couch and Headbanger’s Ball was on and there was this spark that jolted me awake. The metal scene in America and also in Europe, it’s all the fucking same now. There are some great bands, trust me, but everyone’s the same now. Labels are trying to survive because they’re going down the tubes. It’s all about who can play double bass the fastest. There’s no rock stars anymore. I called Wednesday at that point and I’m still in a sleep haze and I said, ‘Wednesday, I want to make another Murderdolls record!’”
A world apart from the comic book kitsch and pun-filled sloppiness of their debut, the second Murderdolls album might as well be the work of an entirely different band. Although still imbued with the hook-packed sleaze metal sensibilities that made old songs like Dead In Hollywood and Grave Robbing USA so irresistible, the new songs seem to have been beamed in from somewhere much darker and more real than their predecessors. There is no shortage of macabre humour lurking amid the pounding riffs and roar-along rage of Chapel of Blood and My Dark Place Alone but while Beyond The Valley…was all about taking the listener into a grim but ludicrous fantasy world, this record sounds very much like the work of men on a sincere and heartfelt mission. Murderdolls 2.0 mean every last fucking word, and as a result they have become a hundred times more believable.
“I said, ‘If we’re gonna do this, it has to be full bore and we have to make a real record.’” says Joey. “The first record is great for what it was and I love it, but I consider this to be the first Murderdolls record. This is the first time we actually sat down with a vision and wrote songs together, and it’s been one of the most gratifying records I’ve ever made.”
“We wrote all these songs from scratch, a few feet away from each other in the studio.” grins Wednesday. “The first song we did was Homicide Drive, and the drum take you hear on the record is the first take we did. It all happened that naturally. It was really easy and it was fun. We had a fuckin’ blast making this record.”
Just like their favourite band, Murderdolls fans may well be a little bit older and wiser eight years on from that first flush of anti-hero worship, but the goofy, light-hearted side of the band was always a major part of their appeal. As a result, there may be some who find the idea of a more serious Murderdolls a little alarming, but despite injecting their sound with a little more substance, Joey and Wednesday are still firmly committed to delivering the rock ‘n’ roll goods. It’s just that this time round the fire in their bellies is for real and not just cheap whiskey afterburn.
“It’s still fun but it’s more fun for me because I get to sing about personal stuff now.” explains Wednesday. “I’m not the same guy you saw before. This band has changed - this is a whole new Murderdolls, in terms of what we’re bringing to the table. When I sing My Dark Place Alone, that’s very personal to me. I’m going deep into the lyrics, and that’s something I’ve never been able to do before.”
“The first record, you could say we were a dumb horror punk band or something like that.” adds Joey. “The new one, this is like my other Slipknot, even though they’re like apples and oranges. On this record you go from a song like Chapel Of Blood to Drug Me To Hell, and then songs like Nowhere and Summertime Suicide and it starts getting poppier. It’s kinda like Slipknot, with all that diversity, even though we’re a rock ‘n’ roll band. That’s what’s gratifying to me, having a band that has its own style but is able to inject its own identity into each song. When I used to play in death metal and speed metal bands, it was easy to sit there and write a million riffs. The biggest challenge is to write an actual song, and only then do you know you’re a real songwriter.”
If everything goes to plan, the new Murderdolls album should swiftly restore the band to the levels of popularity they were enjoying when they took their extended hiatus. But if anyone needs convincing that Women And Children Last is the real deal, they need only acknowledge the presence of no less a figure than Mötley Crüe guitarist Mick Mars, who lends some hair-raising solos to Drug Me To Hell and Blood Stained Valentine, two of the album’s grittiest anthems. Mick doesn’t put on his top hat for any old rubbish, and Joey and Wednesday are visibly thrilled when they talk about his involvement in their new record.
“Mick’s one of the great underdogs and never got the respect he deserved.” says Wednesday. “We see him as one of the great rock ‘n’ roll villains, so what better guy to come out and play for us? It was so natural. He loved it!”
“We didn’t want any guests on this record whatsoever, but this was a little bit different.” smiles Joey. “It was definitely an honour to watch him play on our dumbass songs! I was just sitting there, almost blacking out, thinking about when I had Shout At The Devil on vinyl in my parent’s basement and I was thinking, ‘Man, this is fucked up!’”
Mick Mars aside, Murderdolls remain very much a two-man operation in the studio, but live performance is plainly a major part of what the band stands for and so, with that in mind, Joey and Wednesday have recruited a brand new lineup to assist them in their new crusade. Original members Acey Slade, Eric Griffin and Ben Graves have been usurped by new lead guitarist Roman Surman, bassist Jack Tankersley and drummer Racci Shay, who previously played in Wednesday 13’s solo band. Again, as with the songs themselves, fresh blood seems to have invigorated the whole Murderdolls enterprise.
“The first lineup and the first everything that we did, it was really thrown together.” admits Wednesday. “We did our first video without ever having played together in a room before. Me and Joey did the record by ourselves and then we found these guys through friends of friends and, of course, it was complete chaos. So this time, we purposefully picked people we knew and that we were friends with, and it’s been great. When we finally got on stage, it was like ‘Holy shit!’”
“What we’ve done now and the people we have now, they’re great players and they’re there for the job.” continues Joey. “They’re not there to fuckin’ party. They believe in the songs and they believe in the project and this is a big chance for all of ‘em. They’re all amazing players. I wouldn’t do this if my heart wasn’t completely in it.”
With a new warcry of “We live, we breathe, we bleed rock ‘n’ roll!” the all-new Murderdolls can hardly be said to have altered the main thrust of their philosophy, but everything about the new lineup, the new album and the intense demeanor of the two men steering the ship suggests that they are in this for the long haul this time, ready to do whatever it takes to bully the world into joining in the fun. Serious men on a serious mission, perhaps, but surely there is still plenty of room for a little chaos, mayhem and debauchery?
“Before, when we walked off stage, everything else was complete madness too.” Wednesday laughs. “It was a fuckin’ circus, but it was great. But we’ve moved on. We want to take the chaos from backstage and put it on the stage!”
“Now it’s just the most violent, fuckin’ sleazy, hideous, heaviest fuckin’ rock ‘n’ roll you can possibly imagine.” concludes Joey, with a snarl. “It’s a real band now.”
Women and Children Last is out August 30 via Roadrunner Records. Murderdolls will play Ozzfest in September.
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Six Stringer Joey Jordison’s Weapons Of Mass Destruction
Which albums inspired you to play the guitar?
“The first record that turned me on was the Stones’ Tattoo You. I remember my dad coming home with the album.”
What was the first guitar you owned?
“A harmony, which was like a Fender Stratocaster. I played it in my first metal band in fifth grade. I started playing drums aged seven and soon ditched the guitar.
How do you achieve your sound?
“I don’t normally tell people how I do it! Ha ha! I used a modified JCM 900 amplifier and a MXR distortion on top of that. I’m always involved with mixing and production and everything, so that has a lot to do with the sound on the record. My amp’s been modified.”
Who’s the most underrated guitarist?
“Probably Johnny Thunders (New York Dolls). He had something about him. Guitar is all about passion and playing with soul and style.”
How often do you practise?
“Right now, three hours a day! I’m going on tour with the Murderdolls so everything has to be up to par. It’s odd talking about guitar instead of drums. Drums always came natural to me. I still practise but I’m pretty much in the groove, but for the guitar I have to work real hard.”
What guitar do you play?
“I recorded with my custom BC Rich Bich. I’ve been using Gibson SGs and a BC Rich Warlock, plus I have my signature guitar coming out.”
#AHH so happy to finally have this magazine#enjoy yall#joey jordison#wednesday 13#murderdolls#metal hammer#i can only scan shit with my phone scanner so rip this is as good as it gets
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Tis The Season - Day 7
Settled at his writing desk in his New York apartment, Ron considered the lists of people he had pencilled down to sort out gifts for carefully. Family and the London Lot were catered for and as to his Stateside Pals -- bar maybe one or two, he was golden; had things got or things in the planning, no bother. A quick double check, pencil run down the edge of each list, indicated the same and so Ron sat back, pondering his next move.
He wanted something...more. To do something more this year since the city he now called home had welcomed him so completely. Business was booming, new connections were being made and nurtured, next year's performance roster was already locked in...He couldn't have asked for more in his wildest, and it was all down...
Well.
In part to him and the close-circle people round him, of course, but there were people beyond them he couldn't have done a damn thing without. His staff. There were eight of them front of house, eight more in the kitchen under May's hawk-like but also motherly gaze, three under Pat working security and that was that; a relatively small crew who'd made this Venture of his so resounding a success it'd spent every month of its first year open deep in the black for profits. Without that crew he'd amount to nothing and he knew it and so he was up and out his chair in a flurry and hurrying off to find May.
Two hours, a pot of tea and a close look at the online banking figures later, Ron sent a text round to his crew - all nineteen of 'em (discounting darling May herself and Pat, both of whom he'd already sorted festive gestures for) It read: [Update on Christmas bonuses - come by my office when you're next on shift, please. No bother. No drama. Just jingle bells].
He weren't about to tell 'em any more than that - it'd ruin the surprise. Weren't every day the boss took you aside one by one, asked what your biggest monthly outgoing was and paid it gross, wholesale for the coming three months, aye?
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Are looking for DIN 2714 Steel for your upcoming Projects in India? Forging Excellence, Shaping Tomorrow, Unleash Precision and Durability!
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Sourcing Furniture from Foshan China, LongJiang Furniture Manufacturer
Foshan is a prefecture-level city in central Guangdong province, People's Republic of China. The click here city has jurisdiction over an area of about 3,840 km² and a population of 5.4 million of which 1.1 million reside in the city proper (year 2000 figures).
Foshan is China's largest furniture manufacturer Center. there are about 2,800 manufacturers there, producing all kinds of furniture for indoor, outdoor and office use. This does not include the hardware and component suppliers.
Shunde and Nanhai are the two main districts in Foshan that house these seemingly endless stretch of Furniture suppliers..
Shunde, China Furniture Wholesale Market is located at Shunde district which links Lecong town and Longjiang town along the 10 km highway. Guangdong Province, China. Shunde has become the largest furniture wholesale market and distribution center in China and the world. It claims to be the The World Largest Furniture Wholesale Market. It was named as the China Furniture Business and Trading Capital by the China National Light Industry Council and China National Furniture Association. It covers a total area of approximately 32.3 million square feet (3 million square meter) and it includes more than 200 modern furniture sales buildings, such as Sunlink Group, Lecong International Furniture Exhibition Center, Shunde Empire Group, Tuanyi International Furniture City, and others.
The furniture wholesale market extends more than 5 km and is arranged by 12 rows and 20 streets. There are over 3,300 domestic and foreign furniture dealers and more than 1,500 furniture manufacturers. Jointly they display over 20,000 types of furniture and products ranging from living room furniture, dining room furniture, bedroom furniture, kitchen furniture, hotel furniture, hotel mattress, contract furniture, restaurant furniture, cafe chairs, bar stools, bathroom furniture, sanitary ware, furniture accessories, material & hardware. The market is open year round with furniture trading more than USD1 billion sales volume each year.
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Some worthwhile headcannons, fanfic prompts even, to ponder
I could just picture Pixie and Dixie, in their preparing another round of cheese and crackers, getting amused at the sight of "Stoned Wheat Thins" among the cracker and crispbread offerings at the local deli--prompting the clerk to note that Stoned Wheat Thins are stone-ground thin wheat crispbreads from Canada.
How about sending in El Kabong to break up bar brawls on Friday and Saturday nights in some tacky tourist trap especially popular among Joe Sixpack types too dependent upon Fox News and Walmart for their own good? Or could Hong Kong Phooey be a better choice in this respect?
Whenever Muttley's out in his back-alley mating escapades with kita-kawaii females, imagine such being scored to Perez Prado's 1958 hit "Guaglione" if for no other reason than--
Picture Penelope Pitstop crossing paths with Bristlehound and Dum-Dum in one of their Friday fish fry forays along the Upper Mississippi River, and managing to order broiled fish whereas Our Bhoys prefer it battered.
What Kwicky Koala wouldn't go for than some serious Australian tea. And Australian-grown such, at that, from Queensland's Cairns Tablelands. (Rumour having it that Kwicky sent a box of Nerada tea bags to Daphne Blake and Velma Dinkley of Scooby-Doo's crew to try out, with Dephne admitting that she was never accustomed to Australian tea before, let alone the Chinese and Indian sort, adding that the taste was "different, and then some.")
Dottie's ultimate desire with the Clue Club: Finding fingerprint samples as turn out to have been obliterated when a suspect had contact with some sort of caustic substance (acid, say) known to obliterate fingerprint patterns.
Perhaps the single worst nightmare of pizza restaurant buffet managers: Having the Hair Bear Bunch essentially plundering the noon-hour buffet wholesale.
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Lord Hobo Brewing updates their 617 series to include White Ale.
images courtesy Lord Hobo Brewing Company
Press Release
Woburn, Mass... Lord Hobo Brewing continues to diversify their portfolio with the new addition of 617 White Ale to their year-round offerings.
This will be Lord Hobo’s first year-round wheat beer in their traditionally hop-centric lineup. “We brewed this White Ale with approachability in mind. Bright orange and citrus flavors shine through in each sip with a crisp finish to balance out this medium-bodied wheat beer. The aroma brings forth subtle notes of orange peel rounded out by hints of clove, inviting you to take another sip,” states Lord Hobo Master Brewer, Keith Gabbett.
This is Lord Hobo’s third addition to their 617 brand family, behind the 617 Hazy IPA and 617 Lager. Aubree Karls, Lord Hobo Marketing Director, states, “Crafted with Bostonians in mind, 617 White Ale is the perfect beer to add to our 617 lineup. Whether you’re cracking a cold one at the ballpark or enjoying a couple at your favorite watering hole, we’re confident you won’t be able to have just one.”
Lord Hobo’s 617 White Ale is now available in 4-packs and 12-packs at retailers all around the Northeast. This beer will also be joining their 617 IPA and Lager at Fenway for the entire season. You can find the beer near you at lordhobo.com/beer-finder.
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About Lord Hobo Brewing
Lord Hobo Brewing Company, founded in 2015, was born out of a Boston craft beer bar. Now into our eighth year of operation, we continue to grow, bringing innovative New England style beers to our thirsty and dedicated fans. We are a self-made company that believes our consumers deserve to be recognized and appreciated for who they are.
Our brewery, located in Woburn, Massachusetts, is the nucleus of our company. Beginning with a small tasting room and only a handful of recipes, our Woburn Taproom now has a maximum seating capacity accommodating over 400 patrons. We added a full kitchen and a beautiful outdoor patio. Lord Hobo beers are currently available in 12 states throughout the Eastern United States with 15 wholesaler partners.
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#Massachusetts#MA#Woburn#Cambridge#Boston#Lord Hobo Brewing Company#Lord Hobo 617 White Ale#Beer#Craft Beer#Press Release
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Even in the crowded field of Russia’s brutal pro-war Telegram channels, Zverstva & Tochka (Atrocities, Period), a channel created by former Russian Orthodox deacon Pavel Shulzhenok, stands out for its cruelty. And from the channel’s posts, it would appear that Shulzhenok’s purported co-author and wife, a National Bolshevik named Monica, is even more radical than he is. But Monica doesn’t exist; Shulzhenok made her up. In his own account, he literally created Monica through a mental practice with roots in Tibetan mysticism, married her, and endowed her with her most salient features: radical political views and a hatred for all things Ukrainian. For the independent outlets Novaya Vkladka and Mediazona, journalist Ivan Kozlov dug into Shulzhenok’s disturbing story. In English, Meduza is publishing an abridged version of Kozlov’s article.
A warning to readers: Some of the language in the story below is offensive, hateful, and explicit.
A deacon visits the Donbas
Every day, Pavel Shulzhenok, the creator of the Telegram channel “Atrocities, Period: Where’s Kherson?” says good morning to his followers. The greeting is always accompanied by new, uncensored photos of dead Ukrainian soldiers.
In late December, Shulzhenok announced a contest that he called “Good Morning of the Year.” He invited his followers to vote for their “most beloved” picture of a mutilated corpse, giving each one a name like “Ghost Rider” or “Gingerbread Man.” “Let’s give their deaths a round of applause!” he wrote in his final post of the year.
Even among Russia’s numerous pro-war Telegram channels, Shulzhenok’s cynicism is striking. Odder still is that Shulzhenok first gained public attention for his role as a Russian Orthodox church officer, when a user named uglich-jj published an incriminating LiveJournal post about him back in 2015. The post called attention to the fact that Shulzhenok, who was serving as a deacon at a church a St. Petersburg suburb, had shared photos online of his nights out at bars and of himself posing with piles of cash.
But those weren’t uglich-jj’s main issues with the deacon. Shulzhenok, it appeared, had visited the unrecognized Donbas republics in Ukraine to show support for local soldiers there and had subsequently begun posting calls on social media for the wholesale destruction of the Ukrainian state. In one post, for example, he wrote that “the rabid pigsty that goes by the name ‘Ukraine’ needs to have its spine broken.” Though they’ve since been normalized in Russia to a degree, inflammatory statements like these were much less common in 2015, so the LiveJournal compilation of Shulzhenok’s posts sparked a scandal that culminated in his dismissal from his church position.
For a while after that, Shulzhenok stopped posting so much online, but he became even more radical in his views in the years that followed, while also getting involved in increasingly unconventional spiritual and psychological practices.
Shulzhenok himself told Novaya Vkladka’s correspondent that in 2018–2019, he served as a volunteer soldier in the Donbas, where he “held the lines in the Mariupol and Yasynuvata areas.” He described the combat he saw as “exceptionally routine, though fairly bloody and deadly,” and he said he even came close to death himself a few times. In 2020, after returning from the front, he created his Telegram channel. It currently has about 8,500 followers.
‘I thought there were two crazy people’
Until recently, the question “Where’s Kherson?” in the name of Shulzhenok’s Telegram channel was addressed to a specific person: “Putin the Faggot.” As Shulzhenok told Novaya Vkladka, his radical (and often anti-Kremlin) views are a reaction to Russia’s numerous defeats on the battlefield in recent months. His frequent calls for the military to act more brutally and ruthlessly are the “only appropriate response to the challenges facing Russia today,” he said.
“People often draw parallels with past wars in which Russia managed to achieve victories after numerous failures. But in all of those wars, the enemies were treated like enemies,” said Shulzhenok. “It was acceptable during the Great Patriotic War to proclaim, ‘Kill the Germans!’ And nobody tried to sort out whether all of the Germans were equally bad, or whether there were some good Germans. Today, ‘Kill the Ukrainians’ is the same as ‘Kill the Germans.’ […] No mercy, no pacifism, no compromises — nothing but our full and decisive victory over Ukraine.”
From subscribers’ perspective, the “Atrocities, Period” channel is run by two people, and the second author’s statements are often even more extreme than Shulzhenok’s own. Writing under the name Monica, this user has written at least ten posts about raping people with dumbbells.
According to her posts, Monica is a staunch National Bolshevik, has two rich parents, and loves dancing, expensive cigars, and high-quality rum. She has her own separate Telegram channel dedicated to magical theories and practices, and she regularly publishes content about the occult, including videos of herself and Shulzhenok performing rituals. Monica even writes books: She’s authored a guide to magic and a novel, both of which are freely available online, where they’re categorized under “personal development.”
Pavel and Monica’s channel recently caught the attention of former National Bolshevik and counterculture researcher Raymond Krumgold, after one of the channel’s posts was shared by ultraconservative pundit Egor Kholmogorov; Krumgold said he found it it amusing that a conservative commentator who used to stay within certain boundaries was now reposting content from a channel whose primary purpose seemed to be sharing gore. He decided to look into the channel’s creators.
“[It was immediately] obvious [to me] that ‘Monica’ had nothing to do with real National Bolsheviks, and that this was someone repeating stereotypes from the outside,” Krumgold said. “But it was fully possible that the deacon had met a girl like that in real life. My first reaction was to think it was two demonstrative crazy people bringing out one another’s destructive tendencies. I was really surprised when I realized there was only one crazy person.”
‘If I said she doesn’t exist, I’d be lying’
Pavel Shulzhenok lives in Sochi, where he claims “ancestral” roots. A passive income, whose source he hasn’t revealed publicly, allows him to spend most of his time developing his Telegram channel and working on his Latin dance skills. He’s been dancing bachata and salsa for more than a year and a half, he told Novaya Vkladka, and he attends all of the Latin dance events held in Sochi and its suburbs.
According to Shulzhenok, he’s not interested in Latin dancing for its own sake but because it’s part of the “culture complex” necessary for practicing Quimbanda, an Afro-Brazilian religion associated with magic.
“In the city, I’m known primarily as the bearer of Quimbanda traditions,” he told Novaya Vkladka. “I can say truthfully that there are only a few people who practice [Quimbanda] in the entire country.”
Shulzhenok doesn’t see his Quimbanda practices as contradicting his Orthodox faith in any way. “It’s just that your spiritual practice and the number of, let’s say, saints expands and diversifies significantly,” he said.
Quimbanda often involves ancestor worship, and practitioners believe they can communicate with an entire pantheon of wayward spirits, including evil ones capable of possessing the unprepared. Raymond Krumgold joked that this may be what happened to Shulzhenok.
When Shulzhenok first created “Monica,” he referred to her as a tulpa, a term taken from Tibetan Buddhism. In simplified terms, a tulpa is a virtual being that’s created through the power of a person’s thoughts, and that becomes tangible for its creator, supposedly even taking on subjectivity of its own. Judging by the numerous descriptions of people’s experiences “making” tulpas that can be found on the Internet, the process is laborious; people often claim to have spent months or even years training their minds to enter into dialogues with imaginary beings and gaining the ability to “perceive” them.
By the late 2000s, this initially esoteric practice had gained relatively widespread popularity thanks to anonymous imageboards and other forums. Today, the Internet is full of “tulpamancer” communities and detailed guides for creating tulpas. Studies have found that “tulpamancers” are most often young, single men.
“The explosion in popularity […] was more than predictable,” Raymond Krumgold told Novaya Vkladka. “[Members of] the anonymous subculture that’s developed on imageboards would never have been able to pass up a practice that offers them a chance to get close to their favorite waifus [fictional women characters from non-live-action visual media]. Like a lot of topics and memes, the concept of ‘thought forms’ or ‘tulpas’ has made its way out of the chans to the larger Internet and is now scaring normal Internet users.”
These days, Pavel Shulzhenok hardly ever uses the word “tulpa.” For a while, he preferred the word “psychoemulation” and even started a page on the Russian social media site VKontakte dedicated to the term, but he drifted away from it after he recorded a series of courses on the topic and was unable to find a mass audience.
It was around that time that Monica first appeared. According to Shulzhenok, she seemed “more substantial, socially significant, and social” than all of his previous work. He told Novaya Vkladka that he tries to present Monica as neither fully real nor fully fictional.
“The seriousness of my relationship to this entity constantly forces me to confirm her existence. And if I said that she doesn’t exist, I would be lying first and foremost to myself. Monica is primarily a Symbol and a Dream. A Symbol that has absorbed all of our passion, all of our perfect qualities, love for the Motherland and a thirst for adventure — everything that once brought us to the Donbas in 2014.”
‘A new Russian deity’
In addition to having a detailed biography written by Pavel Shulzhenok, Monica has a real-life prototype: Kristina Kuzmenko-Levash, a dancer and model and the star of a dance show on the Russian TV network TNT. Shulzhenok takes Kuzmenko-Levash’s photos and videos from social media and photoshops her into photos and videos with him, telling himself and his followers that Kuzmenko-Levash is Monica.
Kristina Kuzmenko-Levash herself didn’t respond to Novaya Vkladka’s request for comment, but an acquaintance of hers named Yelena said that Kuzmenko-Levash is aware of the situation and is shocked and upset by it. Yelena said she first met Pavel Shulzhenok after a friend of hers died in the Donbas in 2016, and she started reaching out to his fellow servicemen on social media to find out where he was buried. Shulzhenok’s was one of the accounts she stumbled upon.
“At the time, he seemed perfectly normal, but when the special military operation started, I went to his page and was confused; [I thought], did he get married?” Yelena recalled. “The photos were strange, like they had been photoshopped. I thought he and his wife were just messing around, but it turned out that the person in these photos was this woman, Kristina. I wrote to her too. She knows that he’s using her photos and videos and photoshopping her everywhere, including onto erotic photos. She’s shocked and doesn’t know what to do.”
But Kristina’s appearance is all Pavel Shulzhenok gave to Monica; her personality, ideological position, and extreme cruelty regarding all things Ukrainian comes from himself and others who hold similar views.
“Her genesis, without a doubt, comes from outside my own psychological games,” Shulzhenok said. “Monica was born from a living sense, a dream, a desire inherent not just in me but in an entire wave of angry young Russians. It’s something that was generated by Russia itself. I would even say that Monica is a new Russian deity if I weren’t a Christian. […] My firm and final word is that yes, Monica exists. This is the truth — just like it’s true that Russian will win.”
“The word ‘tulpa’ isn’t applicable to me,” reads a Telegram post signed by Monica. “The word ‘tulpa’ is nonsense. It’s like when children are lonely, so they befriend [the storybook character] Karlsson-on-the-Roof. Which, by the way, is a normal and widespread phenomenon, though people are ashamed to admit that Karlsson or Mary Poppins has remained with them into adulthood. Or they’re not ashamed, and they spend time in chatrooms for tulpamancers 😄 […] But as for me, I’m real. Hundreds of people will vouch for me, and in time, it will be thousands.”
‘In a normal society, this would be harmless’
Raymond Krumgold was the first person to bring wider public attention to Shulzhenok’s disturbing evolution, but not the first person to notice it. A subscriber to “Atrocities, Period” who asked to be called Andrey told Novaya Vkladka that he first started following the channel in April 2022, when the Russian army began its retreat from the Kyiv region. Andrey liked Shulzhenok’s harsh criticism of the decision, as well as the other things he had to say about Russia’s leadership; Andrey refers to himself as an opponent of Putin but a supporter of the “special military operation.”
He changed his opinion after he started talking with Shulzhenok in the Telegram comments; Andrey thought he was dealing with a more typical Orthodox deacon (albeit one who had been dismissed from the church), and some of Shulzhenok’s statements stunned him. Once, for example, Shulzhenok gave him a long lecture about the “joys of three-way sex.” Unable to shake the sense that something was off, Andrey decided to investigate. He eventually realized that Monica doesn’t exist, at least in the physical sense.
Andrey had help from Yelena, who he met in the comments under one of Shulzhenok’s posts. Together, they analyzed Shulzhenok’s online activity over the previous eight years and found that he had a history of creating artificial entities, but that most of them had been typical sock puppet accounts: “Many of the commenters on his channel come from his own pages; he runs them himself and comments from their names.”
Around 2019, Shulzhenok began photoshopping an anthropomorphic pink bear from the video game Fortnite into his photos. Eventually, however, he stopped using the bear, and in the fall of 2020, he started working on the experiment that would eventually lead to Monica. On September 17, he wrote on his VKontakte page:
I’ve decided to conduct a rigorous experiment on my psyche. Maybe you already considered me crazy, but now I’m really crossing the boundary of what’s commonly accepted. I hope I won’t fall out of society. […] I won’t reveal the details, but I’ll start keeping something like a diary. I’ll track my progress or my regression. Maybe that will save me from true madness. Maybe.
Shulzhenok really did start keeping a detailed journal of his “progress”; according to his records, he determined Monica’s physical parameters on the first day of the experiment. On the second day, he announced that she was a National Bolshevik. That evening, he wrote, they got into their first argument.
Before long, he began presenting Monica as his full-fledged partner, and then as his co-author on “Atrocities, Period.” On May 20, he announced that he and Monica had been married, and he marked the occasion in real life by filling out a marriage certificate and inviting some acquaintances to a nice restaurant. Monica was there, too, in the form of a lifestyle cardboard cutout with a wedding dress and Kristina Kuzmenko-Levash’s face.
Pavel Shulzhenok appears to have had a real wife at one time. According to Yelena, his wife died of cancer in 2016, and her father, Shulzhenok’s father-in-law, died several months after. An online announcement for a fundraiser held by the Orthodox organization Russian People’s Front for Shulzhenok in February 2017 says that he lost his wife “after a prolonged illness” and was left with two small children. As far as Yelena can tell, older relatives are now caring for the children. Shulzhenok provided detailed answers to all of Novaya Vkladka’s questions except for the ones concerning his family.
Raymond Krumgold told Novaya Vkladka that he believes Shulzhenok’s Telegram channel is dangerous:
As [pro-war propagandist] Andrey Nikitin […] put it, ‘The channel […] satisfies a social demand for a Mickey and Mallory [from Natural Born Killers] of the special military operation.’ Shulzhenok, as someone with no shame or inhibitions, truly is voicing what others have been afraid to, and is finding a small but stable audience. If anyone from his audience is on the front, it could lead to real bloodshed. In a normal situation and a normal society, the deacon would be harmless. But Russia in late 2022 is utterly abnormal.
Pavel Shulzhenok himself may soon be back at the front; he’s promised as much to his audience, and he confirmed his intentions to Novaya Vkladka. “For me, this is already a settled issue. It will be in the spring of 2023, and a more precise timeline will be determined as I make preparations. There are a number of family-related issues I’ll need to solve, considering that I could die.”
“We’re currently living in a deeply radicalized world, and a crazy deacon who takes orders from a tulpa doesn’t stand out much,” Krumgold said. “[…] This is essentially the zeitgeist of the 2020s. Congrats to all of us on that.”
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“GENERAL ESCAPE AT TORONTO JAIL FRUSTRATED BY A NARROW MARGIN,” Toronto Star. May 4, 1921. Page 1. ---- PRISONERS WHO FIGURED IN ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE FROM TORONTO JAIL From left to right are shown: Water Hale, chauffeur, bed as a material witness in the trials of Hotrum. McFadden and the Conleys following the Sabine murder and many robberies; Charles Heber, sentenced to three sears in Kingston for robbery, who is one of the men suspected of sawing a bar from the jail window; Roy Hotrum, awaiting trial charged with murder, who is suspected of sawing a bar from his cell door; George Clemence sentenced to 3 years in Kingston, on whom the saws were found: Eddie Goodfellow, sentenced to Burwash, and Solly Flaterwasser, sentenced to Burwash. Goodfellow and Flaterwasser are suspected of being implicated in the attempt to escape ---- Notorious Criminals Awaiting Transfer to Penitentiary, as Well as Prisoner Held on Serious Charges, Saw Bars of Cells and Almost Gain Their Freedom. ---- SOAP USED TO HOLD SEVERED BARS IN PLACE === Two daring attempts to escape from Toronto jail, by criminals convicted and others waiting trial were discovered and frustrated within.twelve hours over night through the vigilance of the jail guards. With these attempts, it makes three since Friday.
The first attempt, which would have been a wholesale get-away, involving eleven men, was being effected in a wing on the third floor,where Charles Heber and George Clemence were found by Guard Spanton standing, suspiciously near a window, in the bathroom, at 9.30 last night. Guard Spanton examined the bars of one of the windows, and a section of a bar, about one foot in length, came out with the pull of his hand. Heber and Clemence were sentenced to three years and are waiting to be called as witnesses in other trials and later to be taken to Kingston penitentiary.
The next attempt was discovered at 10.30 this morning by Governor Major G. Hedley Basher, while he was testing the cell doors and windows. He found that a bar had been cutout of the cell door occupied by Roy Hotrum, awaiting trial with William McFadden, charged with murdering Cecil Sabine. Hotrum was not in the cell at the time, and had been transferred to another cell while his cell was being cleaned.
McCullough's Escape Recalled. From details given to The Star by Governor Basher, it seems that, due to the crowded conditions of the jail, he had been forced to place fourteen men in a wing not suitable for housing prisoners, such as he is holding at the present time. This wing is in the northeast section of the jail, on the top, third floor, directly over the death cell, looking into Riverdale Park.
"All prisoners were put in their quarters at eight o'clock," said Governor Basher, "and lights extinguished. It was at nine-thirty when Guard Spanton visited the corridor, making his rounds, when he saw Heber and Clements, not in their beds, but standing by a window in the bath-room. He examined the bars, and found one had been sawed, and then held in place with soap."
The window is about ten feet from the ground, and the bar, when taken out, left a space about a foot square,insufficient, to permit a man to get through. If a second bar had been removed, it would have made it possible for a man to get out. From the window to the ground is a sheer drop of thirty-six feet, into the death.yard, containing "murderers' row."
A jump of this distance would have certainly caused injuries, and a further difficulty would have been encountered in scaling the fifteen-foot jail brick wall skirting the jail. In the room with Heber and Clemence were the following men: Robert Colestock, Hewart Gunn, Hughie Dickie, Reginald Thomas, Eddie Goodfellow, Walter Why. Walter Hulse, John Tinsley and Solly Flaterwasser. Goodfellow has been sentenced to two years less one day in Burwash. Walter Hulse is the driver of the taxi in which the Conleys, Hotrum and McFadden operated, and is held as a material witness in their coming trials. Flaterwasser is going to Burwash.
Two Small Saws Located. Following the discovery, Governor Major Basher questioned the men.They all denied knowing anything of the attempt, but on searching them, two small four-inch pieces of hacksaws were found secreted in Clemence's clothes.
He also denied knowing anything about it. Unable to find an admissions to the leader, or as to the one who conceived the attempt. Governor Basher singled out Heber, Clemence, Goodfellow and Flaterwasser as suspects, and immediately isolated them, to "let them cool off," to use Major Basher's words. The bar had been sawed clean through at both ends. The marks are quite fresh, and would indicate that the work on them had been very fast, as the men had been in that room only two days.
The cell which Hotrum occupied is next to one occupied by John Doughty and two cells distant from the one formerly occupied by Arthur Conley, who attacked Guard Crowe on Friday night last. Hotrum had apparently worked fast, in the last day or so,and completed his work on this bar, although if he had gained freedom through his cell door, he would have only been in his corridor, and no nearer freedom.
Hotrum is now in another cell, and although he was searched this morning, nothing was found upon him.that would have aided him in sawing the bar. Men Have Been Separated. How the saws were taken into the men is not yet known by Governor Basher, although it is assumed they were taken in either by the men them-selves, through means unknown, or in food taken to the prisoners by their friends. Men who go into the jail are stripped of their clothing at their first admittance, but it might have been when they were taken to the police court that they obtained the saws. Heber was in the court of general sessions recently as a witness while the Conleys, Hotrum and McFadden have not been there for some time.
To-day, Major Basher stated he had broken the men up entirely. McFadden, Hotrum and the Conleys have been taken away from coming indirect contact with other prisoners and are in close confinement.
"What action are you going to take?" Major Basher was asked. "Are you going to cut off visitors to the men, or parcels coming in?"
"We cannot stop everyone who wants to visit prisoners," Major Basher replied, "or parcels coming in, but in view of what has taken place since Friday, I am going to stop all visitors or parcels to the Hotrum, McFadden and Conley gang.”
Must Have More Accommodation. Prior to the attack made by Arthur Conley upon Guard Crowe on Friday last, there has been rumors afoot throughout the jail that something was going to be done, and in view of the fact that the trials of Hotrum and McFadden were first set for Thursday and now set off until next week, something in the nature of an attempt to escape has been anticipated. After Conley's attack, more were heard among the men,that "that was nothing compared to what was going to happen."
Governor Major Basher told The Star that it was absolutely imperative that the east wing of the jail be reopened in view of the crowded.condition. The wing was closed some time during the war, with the hope that prisoners would be taken care of at Burwash. "The wing should be opened not only to take care of the large number of prisoners, but in order to classify the men," said Major Basher. The plumbing of the wing is not yet in a fit condition to put men in. There are 120 men in the jail, and according to Major Basher, it requires one guard to ten men.
#toronto#toronto jail#jailbreak#attempted escape#prison break#sawing bars#death cells#sentenced to the penitentiary#kingston penitentiary#sentenced to prison#burwash industrial farm#armed robbery#armed robbers#robbery gone wrong#sabine murder#crime and punishment in canada#history of crime and punishment in canada
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