#rosie is such a MENACE

[kim-tey]

😔 not alex getting relegated to the itty bitty titty committee

[inviisiiblelee]

Alastor & Rosie in a tea party setting, gossiping about anything really up to you, please!

REQUESTS OPEN

———

Rosie was always an incredibly gracious hostess, as far as Alastor was concerned. Before his disappearance, they'd often meet up just like this, Rosie having put together a little table by a window for people watching, tea glasses and pot ready and happy to share. It had been so long, and after the events of recent times, he really wanted to feel a sense of normality again. He arrived right on time, as always, and Rosie welcomed him with a big smile and open arms. They shared a brief hug, before the both of them settled themselves.

“Alastor, it feels like it's been ages!”

“Believe me, Rosie, I feel exactly the same. It's good to have real company for once.”

“Oh, you. Please, help yourself before we really dig in!” And he was happy to, finger foods galore and with the most pleasant of crunches. Nothing quite like a little bone marrow for lunch, indeed. She poured him a nice cup of tea, and he added a dash of cream to it before leaning back. 

“So, tell me, honey, how are things?”

“Insufferable, as usual,” came Alastor’s response, with a widening smile. 

“Oh, do tell, darling!”

“Things at the Hotel are just as miserable as you'd imagine! Charlie is just as fervent as ever, trying to get new patrons, and now that Lucifer is there—”

“So that really was him?”

“Yes, yes, he's chosen to stay there for the time being while he helps. Not that he's doing that much, anyway.” 

“He does seem a little empty-headed, doesn't he?” Her comment earned a laugh from Alastor, and some of the tenseness in his shoulders slipped away. 

“I am so glad you agree, Rosie. I've been doing my best to curb them all, and they're all terribly intrusive. Even Husker has been acting quite clingy."

“Really? He's always been a little protective, but clingy?”

“Exactly! After the end of the battle, he insisted on following after me and staying far too close. Even striking out didn't really deter him.” 

“You poor thing, you deserved plenty of space and rest on your own time!”

“Precisely my thoughts. I am fine, but he even sent Charlie checking up on me. It's been such a nuisance! So it's much nicer to be able to come out here.”

“Well, I am always happy to have you, you know that, Alastor! We all love you around here.”

“Oh, I know. If I could spend more time here, I would. But, please, enough of my silly tirade, how are things in your realm?” Alastor took a long drink of his tea, a delightful chamomile. Rosie grinned back at him, taking a drink herself.

“Things are lively as ever, of course. Susan has been less of a pain, all things considered, you might even be so lucky as to avoid her on your way out. The folks here are fairly happy, although there has been some talk of visiting the hotel from some, they've taken nicely to Charlie, as expected.”

“Naturally. I'm sure she'll be happy to have them in any case.”

“There have been a few sightings, though, of Vox and Lucifer both around these parts.” Alastor raised his brows. “They're both taking to spending an odd amount of time with Susan, I think she's developed some attachments. Whether she likes either of them, I have no real idea, I avoid them all.”

“That's probably for the best. Lucifer is infuriating to share breathing space with, and Vox has become quite the nuisance.”

Rosie peered at him for a long moment, but she brushed on to a new topic. “People have been saying something interesting, though, about someone unsavory coming in!”

“Oh? That sounds interesting, who?”

“Well, you didn't hear it from me … but they're saying it's you!”

The two laughed together happily, and Rosie shared more mundane little stories for his entertainment. She had many from the last several years that he hadn't heard, and he found himself happier than he'd been in some time.

[baubles-n-bones]

Let's. Fucking. Go! Look at this art by @yolki-palki!!! I cannot breathe. The detail is stunning, and the colors, and ROSEDOLL! *slams keyboard* Thank you so much. 😭 And thank you Choubidoubinette for commissioning it.

The story, if you'd like to read it!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60186904/chapters/153587296

[7sevenrings7]

Young and Menace - Chapter 1 Snippet

Hyperfixating on Hazbin Hotel? It's more likely than you think!

This is a snippet from "Young and Menace" - a reader insert fanfic pairing the reader (AFAB, she/her pronouns) with Alastor, Lucifer, and, eventually, Lilith.

Some at the same time? We'll see...full first chapter to be posted to ao3 next week.

You arrive in Hell with no memory of who you are, where you've come from, or how you got there. Oh well. Might as well settle into your afterlife. There's just one problem...

You're still alive.

Note: This x reader does NOT use Y/N - you are referred to as "Liv," but this is recognized as a nickname as you do not recall your actual name.

“Alright, my ace in the hole.” Rosie’s voice carried before becoming clear as she cast open the door. You shifted nervously as you sat on your bed. “Meet my other ace in the hole!”

Alastor was the worst demon you had seen yet. If your fear had been any less, you would have been able to scream.

As it was, you could only stare at him as if he were the personification of a train wreck you could not tear yourself away from.

It was his smile. A creepy, cheek-ridden smile. Yellowed teeth as large and as pointed as knives sat between lips spread what seemed painfully tight. His skin was darker than Rosie’s with eyes that were as red as blood and just as cold. He might have been Hell itself with how red dominated his person from his fluffy hair to his evening attire. What could have been ears framed two small antlers sprouting straight from his head. 

Later, much later in the quiet of the night still shaking from this very encounter, you would realize that his smile never wavered.

It did tremble, however - at least when he first saw you. The possibly-but-not-definitely-not-ears on his head went flat and you saw what seemed to be the shadow of radio dials turning instead of those red eyes. 

But then you blinked and Alastor’s smile was relaxed and warm…

...and growing larger as he approached you swinging a short-staffed microphone in his hand.

It, like the rest of him, was red.

“So…you’re alive.”

Rosie had implied Alastor had a unique voice. “Like butter!” she had claimed. Only it was far less sweet and far more static and sickening charm laid on thicker than thick. 

“I…seem to be,” you admitted, quietly. Almost reverently. 

Tilting his head at an angle too sharp to be normal, Alastor chuckled. “Maybe you were a comedian, my dear girl. No theories? No rogue memories flitting around in that pretty head of yours?”

By the time he finished speaking, he was immediately in front of you with a crimson-clawed hand patting your head patronizing and popping. 

You didn’t like it. Any of it. He reminded you of a cheap car salesman. 

“I don’t know who I am or how I got here if that’s what you’re asking,” you said, trying to ward the fear from your voice. “I remember life on Earth but…nothing stable. Nothing…nothing that tells me anything about myself.”

“Curious,” said Alastor, rounding you with eyes that were sharp as they were searching. “Very curious.”

“So, you remember that princess that I was telling you about, Liv?” asked Rosie. “The one with the hotel? ‘Member?”

Squinting as if trying to physically see the memory, you grimaced. “Um…it was…Lucifer’s daughter?”

“Bingo!” Rosie shouted. “Well Alastor helps run the place and it just got HUGE upgrades thanks to Mr. Big Man in Damned Demand. I was thinking…since they’re all about redemption…maybe they could help you more than I could.”

With a pause, Rosie turned to Alastor. “I’ve tried it all, Alastor. I don’t know how Liv ended up here but it was something bad done by something even badder. I thought she’d remember something by now but…zilch. And it’s not safe for her to stay here. I’ve done what I could to keep rumors from making it to the mill but she’s a very amnesiac steak in a town of ravenous wolves. Least there’s you at the hotel. She won’t worry for safety.”

At first you thought Alastor meant to remain silent. He merely stood staring at you with those terrible eyes, fingers shifting his microphone staff back and forth. 

But then he glanced to Rosie. 

“If there’s anyone who could get this poor soul her memory back, it’s Charlie.”

Weird, you thought. He kind of sounded sincere there.

Rosie hugged Alastor by his side before releasing him to clap her hands.

“Thank you, Alastor! Oh, you don’t know how happy I am that you’re back! Things are gonna be changing around here.”

Your heart might have stopped when a curl of Alastor’s lip revealed grayed gums. 

“Oh,” he said, static simmering around him. “Yes, they are.”

[trashbag-baby666]

The high school au cannot get enough of…here are some Headcanons inspired by me and @ihearteugeneroe conversation about Bucky being an absolute menace on social media…

*Image format trust me you’ll wanna take a peak after reading!

MOTA Masterlist!

•Bucky has a few different accounts.

•He has his main account, spam account, Gale fan account where he pretends to be Gale, and the “realest bombers”

•Bucky posts those videos of lotion being crushed and shooting out on his story and just tags @/gale_cleven05 in big text.

•Buck tells him to take them off his story

•He does not

•on the Realest Bombers Bucky posts the most raw footage of their friend group…

•Curt hitting five dispos at once.

•Bubbles failing at twerking (he’s flat asf 😭)

•Buck taking bong hits…

•Dougie and Hambone making out on the bus ride back from football games.

•ROSIE MFING ROSENTHAL PLAYING CARLESS WHISPERS ON HIS SAXOPHONE AT A PARTY.

•Croz forgetting his lines in the middle of rehearsal.

•Curt punching assholes/fight videos.

•Gale leaning on things CHEEKED UP

•Point fives of Croz sleeping (he always falls asleep first at sleepovers)

•Taco Bell madness with Curt/Dickie/Hambone (all three work there)

•Rosie and his twin sister arguing in German/Yiddish.

•Anyways it’s mad chaos…

[cure-rosie]

Finally did it. I've designed Wonderful Cures for my cat and I.

Cure Comfort, and Cure Flare, based off of me and my cat Spitfire respectively. Flare would be very aggressive, and excitable at the same time. She is filled with bloodlust. Her carnage is only kept in check by Comfort, who is usually very gentle and support based, but she can and will discipline Flare when she crosses the line.

[thesullengrrrl]

True or false. Elaine once went to “ pick up” Rosie from work late at night only wearing modern lingerie and above the knee heel high boots and a really long coat. They didn’t leave his office straight away 😏

you know she is that girl 😏 making her way to his office, she goes in and asks him if he's ever coming home (he's working late 'cause he's a lawyerrrrr~). doesn't even lift his head up from work until she's like "robert look at me" and when he finally looks at her...well. paperwork can wait 😉

[revvethasmythh]

still genuinely think that shadowheart and gale (in that order) have the best parallels to the durge storyline. imo actually really sad we don't get, like, any durge specific dialogues for them because their parallels are so obvious and interesting

[gingerwerk]

Writing modern day Rosie and making him an absolute menace because I think it’d be funny

[feathers-second-face]

Random Alastor headcanon

I like to think he cries blood (*cough cough* my last post- *cough cough*). I mean- Mostly for aesthetic purposes and because hes just edgy like that buuuuut...

I got some rambles under the cut that would help it fit into the shows lore better.

This might get long-

So we've been told a few things determine a persons appearance when they die. Their death, the way they lived their life, and aspects about themselves that they hate tend to be amplified.

And another hc of mine (which I think a lot of the fandom shares, but I haven't seen it directly confirmed?) is that Alastor hates crying. He sees it as a sign of weakness, so he avoids it at all costs. In life, he would keep himself from crying for that reason, even if he was alone.

Now as a result of this, he cries blood after his death. Tears are see through, so you can easily wipe them away and even if they smear, they're typically not noticeable afterwards. Blood however, is not that easy to hide. You'd have to wipe your face far more or wash it entirely to get it away. This would make his crying far more noticeable. Whether or not people piece together that his bleeding eyes signals hes crying likely wouldn't matter, so the 'amplify traits one hates' rule is probably only to cause the individual themselves annoyance/anger/distress over it.

That being said, imagine the potential for throwing misery at this man. Everyone's favorite thing to do! :D

I mean- Imagine he has some sort of breakdown. He can't hide it when hes only given a few moments because blood smears. Someone like Rosie sees him and gets concerned because his eyes are bleeding. He knows what it means but he sure as hell isn't about to let anyone else find out. Only problem is that refusing to explain the real reason behind it leads her to think hes hurt or something.

And imagine how he'd feel when she inevitably found out! He'd flip shit. He hates showing the slightest shred of vulnerability, and while I strongly believe he tends to relax around Rosie, he probably still wouldn't want her to see him cry, because why would he ever do that? No doubt shed piece it together eventually, and if she didn't straight up ask him or tell him shed figured it out, he'd figure out that she knew eventually anyway. Neither of them are stupid.

He would 100% have some sort of breakdown about that- I mean, it probably takes a lot to make him cry to begin with (since having a large wound across his chest and a crisis about friendship didn't do the trick-), but hes been in Hell for like- 90ish years? And (at least I like to think so) hes probably known Rosie throughout most of that time, no way he'd never cry once in that time, and no way she wouldn't see it.

TLDR: Alastor cries blood because he hates crying and would avoid it (not confirmed). This makes it harder for him to hide it since you can't wipe away blood as easy as you can tears. Rosie (or another close friend) finding out or seeing this has major angst potential.

If there's any art/writing or anything that portrays anything like this, I would love to see it. Please let me know if you've seen anything that is like- similar to this. My only request would be that it avoids anything relating to s*x or romance (I'm s*x repulsed aroace, so those things make me obscenely uncomfortable).

[sunattacksthemoon]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE TAGS @pretentiouswreckingball @fxreflyes

CAT PICREW MAKER THING

bonus, I also did Rosie

tagging- @ryder-the-writer @silverscreenlipstick @boitterfly @culdogs @gauchereverie @texaschainsawmascara @themuseoftheviolets @saturninebutalive @cobic @pancakehouse anddd open tag!!

[hereliesbitches--me]

Fun dating Rosie is that as a cat she has designated hours of zoomies so in the oublic she us a serious respectable figure...

Behind closed doors she's trying to stick her fingers or tongue up your nose, your ears, maybe just lick your face, bite you lovingly with her monster teeth, and suffer cuteness aggression that involves a whole lot of kneading them cheeks.

You can try to tell someone, no one will believe the respectable Sphinx would ever do such a thing :)

[fstbmp-a]

i'm still proud of crystal the scourge, frankly. making it a title really elevates the name, imo.

[baubles-n-bones]

Chapter 1/2 of ✨️Enchanté✨️ is up! Rosie/Velvette and Alastor/Vox shenanigans, for the Halloween Party prompt. 😈

[confused-pie]

Irl example of what being friends with someone like they're your sibling looks like

[damnedrainbows]

oh its chewsday?? I should be biting people