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spaceorphan18 · 7 months ago

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X-Men Fic (Rogue/Gambit) : Toys

A/N: Yes, this was inspired by that clip that's been going around of Gambit's VA for XM97 playing with action figures. I cannot believe this is what I'm writing for my first real fic for this fandom. Dear lord, forgive me for the shenanigans... also, unbeta'd. I just wanted to get it out into the world and be done with it.

I'll post this tomorrow on Ao3

Rated: T for suggestiveness

Summary: Rogue catches Remy playing with toy action figures of the X-Men. Shenanigans. Set in the 616 comic verse, but some fun meta-y references to XM97

****

Toys

Upon arriving home, Rogue comes in through the open kitchen window because why bother with stairs when you can fly? It’s been a long day, a long week, a long life… All she wants to do is curl up on the couch with the cats and a trashy book and hopefully Remy’s home so she can get a back massage. Hell, forget the book, she’ll gamble for the massage first. Save the trashy for later.

She grins, thinking about her husband’s warm hands on her skin.

Remy is, indeed, home; standing at the kitchen island, his back turned towards the window, so engrossed in what he’s doing that he doesn’t hear her come in. And what he’s doing takes her by surprise.

The kitchen counter is covered in half open boxes, plastic containers, cardboard, and little zip ties. There are a good, half-dozen or so action figures all lined up in a semicircle; each one of them a well detailed, classically designed replica of, well… the X-Men. Oh, dear god, what did she walk into?

“I’ll take ya down in one slice, bub,” Remy says, holding the Wolverine figurine in one hand, his voice low as he attempts Logan’s gruff voice. Remy LeBeau is good at a lot of things, Rogue would be first to give you a list, but doing impressions is not one of them. She bites her lip, fascinated to see how this plays out. Remy grabs the Magento figurine as his voice shifts to imitate Erik. “You incels!” Remy screams; loud, exaggerated, and carefully enunciated. “How dare you try to take down me; the questionably dressed, ego too big for my helmet, Master of Magnetism?”

Rogue puts a hand up to her lips, holding back an amused snort. Oh, Remy…

Remy loses the impression as he lunges the Wolverine figurine at the Magneto one. The Magneto one floats away. “You fools! Don’ you remember I control the metal?” Shaking the Wolverine figurine violently, Remy lets out a feral scream and the figure is flung to the side, landing with a clatter in the sink.

Magneto is discarded for a moment as Remy picks up the Scott and Jean figurines. Scott has his hand to his visor while Jean has both her hands on the sides of her head. “Jean! I seem to have made a tactical error,” Remy cries in Scott’s no-nonsense voice. His voice then slides higher as he mimics Jean. “Scott, my telepathy. It out o’ whack! Oh, Scott!... Jean!… SCOTT!.... JEAN!!”

Rogue is dying inside. She holds herself tightly, trying as hard as she can not to burst out laughing.

Scott and Jean are shuffled into one hand as Remy picks up the Magneto figurine again. “Enough of this!” Remy says, back in the Magneto voice. He then lets out another dramatic scream as he tosses the Scott and Jean figurines onto the pile of boxes, scaring Oliver, who had been inspecting one of the twist ties.

He picks up the Storm figurine next, raising her arms to the ceiling. “An’ now you deal with Stormy, who will smite you with her lightning blasts.” He jolts the Storm hands into Magneto, making little sound effect lightning blasts as he does so. “Fool, I am impervious to lightning… How dat possible? Lightning an’ magnetism are not the same thing!... I can control static electricity!... Dat…still don’ make any sense!... Begone, weather witch!”

Rogue has tears in her eyes. She’s biting her lip so hard, it’s beginning to hurt. Thankfully, Remy is so lost in his make believe world that he can’t hear her snickering.

The Storm figurine is placed gently face down on the counter as Remy picks up the Gambit figurine. Rogue’s eyes grow wide, intensely waiting to see how this will play out…

“Ohh, you goin’ down now, mon ami,” Remy’s voice grows low and serious. He starts making explosion sound effects, as if the Gambit figurine is throwing little playing cards at the Magneto one. Remy then throws his head back in a villainous laugh as he goes back to the Magneto voice. “You seriously think a few mild explosions could ever touch me?”

Remy stops, and grins that cocky, beautiful grin of his. “Non, but it enough to keep you distracted.” He starts turning the Magneto figurine around, as if it’s confused. “See, I always gotta ace up my sleeve.”

In a quick second, he drops the Gambit figurine, and grabs the Rogue one. Her arm is out, one leg up, poised to fly. Remy slams the fist of the Rogue figurine into the Magneto one’s head. “Howdy, sugah.”

Rogue tilts her head, amused. Remy’s imitation of her own voice is so comically off, and yet incredibly endearing.

“How ‘bout you leave my family alone!” The Rogue figurine crashes into the Magneto one again. This time, Remy charges the Magneto figurine, causing it to glow purple. He tosses the charged Magneto figurine up, letting it explode in mid-air with a bang. The charred remains drop to the counter with a clang before it bounces into the trash next to the counter.

Remy then picks up the Gambit figurine and brings it in close to the Rogue one. “Anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are when you’re punching people, chere?...Why don’t you shut up and kiss me, Remy…” Remy starts clicking the faces of the two figurines together, making little kiss-y noises and ‘mwa’ sounds as the action figures ‘make out’.

Rogue grins wildly, expecting nothing less. She crosses her arms across her chest, casually walking forward to let her presence be known. “Whatcha doing, sugah?”

Remy gives a startled jump, the figurines dropping out of his hand with a clatter. He’s not the least bit sorry he’s been caught, however, a devilish grin quickly sliding onto his lips. “Jus’ havin’ a bit of fun testing some of these toys that show sent us.” Rogue picks the destroyed Magneto figurine out of the trash. “Some of dem defective,” he says slyly.

“Defective huh?” She drops the figurine unceremoniously back into the trash and comes in close, wrapping her arms around his neck. She knows the show is a sore spot, no matter how much free merch they’ve gotten from it lately. “You still salty about all that?”

He lets out a grumble, but still wraps himself around her, just the way she likes. “Don’ act like you wouldn’t be, too, if they killed you off like dat. Middle of the first season, too. What’d I do to deserve dat?”

“They just knew you were the best one.” She runs her fingers through his hair. “Who else gonna go out in a fiery blaze of heroism like that?”

He smirks, though she can still see a hint of sadness in his eyes. “It was pretty epic, non?”

“The best…” She draws him in for a kiss, sweet and gentle and comforting. “Forget that show, Remy. That ain’t our life. This is.” She kisses him again, a little bit harder, grounding herself in his embrace. He had tortured himself wanting to keep watching that show, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. She didn’t want to imagine herself going down a path she would never recover from. “Besides…” she says, trying to keep it light. “I’m sure season two will have me pulling your pretty ass back from the dead one way or the other. And if it doesn’t, you best bet I’ll get those writers fired and write it myself.”

“I ever tell you how sexy you are when pulling me back from the dead?”

“Shut up and kiss me, Remy.” He does and they do. Forget the massage tonight, they’re going straight to the trashy. She’s hungry to feel him everywhere tonight.

They break apart once again, breathing heavily as Rogue leans her forehead against his. “Hey, Remy?”

“Oui?”

“Why don’t we leave this mess for later and go play with some of the toys we’ve already got.”

He laughs into another kiss. “You always have de best ideas, chere…”

****

Later…

In the stillness of the night, long after Remy’s fallen asleep, Rogue gets up for a glass of water.

The kitchen is how they left it hours ago, a mess of trash and action figures scattered around the room. The cats had gotten into some of it. Poor Scott had fallen to the ground. She picks him up, placing him next to Jean, giving him a little pat as she does so.

She wants to ignore the others. Wants to ignore the strange sensation it is to have your likeness in toy form. Still, she’s drawn to the little action figure her. She picks it up, inspecting it. It’s her old green and yellow uniform, one she hasn’t worn in years. She doesn’t even know where it is, probably having been trashed in some long ago fight. Unsurprisingly, the boobs are a little too big, the waist a little too small, and the hair a bit ridiculous. But it’s oddly still her. A little version her.

She looks down to the Gambit figurine and smiles. The trench coat, the staff, the ridiculously abbed pink breast plate. The cocky little grin. They got his likeness perfectly. And yet it doesn’t even hold a candle to the real thing.

“Love ya, Remy,” she says softly, as she takes the Rogue figurine and gives the Gambit figurine a kiss with it. She laughs at her own silliness, but still takes a moment to place the figurines together, resting against each other, as they should be.

She grabs her water and turns off the light and heads back to the bedroom, where she’ll soon curl up against her husband and fall asleep.

#xmen #x men 97 #(sorta)#rogue #gambit #romy #anna marie lebeau #remy lebeau #roguegambit #romy fic #xmen fic #idk what else to tag it #s.o. writes things #good lord it's late #maybe that's a good thing #i'll just put this out in the world and maybe one of you will find it humorous #please let me keep playing with the toys - i'm still learning

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