#romana reads

[romanarose]

Fic Recs for April

Hi everyone! These are my fic recommendations for March!

I havn't done a fic rec since december bc life has gone wild lmfaoooo so here we go!

Moon Knight

Triggered, @missdictatorme : Summary: During a rather heated love making session with Jake, he accidentally triggers to the front a long locked down memory of yours, which results in you having a panic attack.

Reader With Acne, @ninebluehearts : A drabble with Marc Spector and a reader with adult acne.

Feels Nice, my beloved, @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction : SOFT MMMAARRCCC with smut bc its us

Dark Necessities, @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction : Y'all GOTTA read this series, its amazing. Great Jake smut, great plot, great Steven characterization, 10/10

Triple Frontier

Feed Your Ego, my love @welcometostayingawake woweeeeeeee if you like fics with multiple of the TF boys, this is for you. Threesome with Santi and Frankie? Yes please.

Captain of the Team., @writefightandflightclub. The way this fic had me so shook it took like a day to read bc I used to just need to breath and stare off into space lmfao. Reader has a foursome with Will, Frankie and Santiago and just like most thing I write with the boys, it gets bisexual.

Worth the risk, @melodygatesauthor : innocence kink ;-; BFD!Santi!!!

What if he Never Had to Go? by @velocibeewords : This series man... I found it while taking a rest on a bachelor weekend and proceeded to keep reading. the CHOCKHOLDit had. I WAS AT A DAMN CASINO READING THIS the bride caught me and was so drunk and just loudly announced she was just happy i was happy lmfao. BENNY X SANTI!!!!!!!!

ALSO! Yours, by @velocibeewords If you are familiar with fics of mine like Yellow, or the triple frontier group sex series, awakening, you know a prominante feature in my smut works is explicate consent and constant communication. This fic is a beautiful version of this, but its reader assuring Will.

Ex-Machina

Get Well Soon, @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction : Nathan with a sick reader.

Sucker Punch

Not so Solitary, @melodygatesauthor : A real quick blue jones smut that makes my stomach do that flippy thing

The Last of Us

Literally everything by @toxicanonymity they are literally the reason I started writing dark fics over at romana-after-dark and why I started doing raider Joel. Incredible. BUT! Since raider!joel was my inspiration, I'll link the raider Joel series <3 DARK DARK DARK DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

Clumbsy Mess, @viquerz : INNOCENT VIRGIN READER!!!!!!!

Lucky for me, I run on of Sweat and Sweet revenge @jksprincess10 : No words. please just read it.

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way Master List

Gif by @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Raider!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Raider!Tommy Miller x Fem!Reader

Spotify Playlist

Inspiration came from @toxicanonymity and her fantastic Raider!Joel.

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, an both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

This is a reader fic, reader is early 20's, Joel is 40's at this point, reader is small enough that the men can lift her, but these are strong men. Reader is also refered to as little one, little girl ETC, but that's more in reference to her age/innocence than physical size.

Unknown chapters at this point but heres a starter

Chapter 1: Joel takes you away from everything you know

Chapter 2: Joel takes what he wants, Tommy tries to make things easier

Bonus Chapter: Tommy takes Little One's virginity

Chapter 3: Joel softens up, and readers learns her roll in all this

Chapter 4: Little One is getting cocky, and finds herself in trouble, but Tommy and Joel are there for her

Chapter 5: Joel and Tommy don’t feel good

Suggested drabble: Period sex

Chapter 6: Things change with Tommy, and Joel shows a more vunerable side during a near disaster.

Chapter 7: Little One and Lorenzo spend some time together, and Lorenzo drops a bomb on Little One.

sick bonus chapter

Chapter 8: For 6 months of Little One's pregnancy her relationship with Joel and Lorenzo shifts and changes.

Suggested Drabble: Brotherhood

Chapter 9: The aftermath.

Suggested Drabble: “It Wasn’t Always Like This”

Chapter 10: The escape does not go as planned.

Alternate ending: a happier end

Canon Sequel Mini Series, Ghost of You

Follow Ellie's life sifting through to lies to discover the truth of her creation.

Dark Ending Timeline: Going Under

Going Under: Chapter 1:

Going Under: Chapter 2:

Going Under: Chapter 2.5:

Going Under: Chapter 3

Going Under: June and Tommy

Going Under: Chapter 4

Going Under: Finale

Suggested drabbles to see how the uncles are doing after the canon ending: Lorenzo, Zach and Tommy, and Better Than Revenge

If neither ending satisfied you or if there was something you wanted to see but didn’t, if you wanna write something in universe will be happy to link it to my masterlist!

Art by @melodymakesart

Drabbles, One Shots, Thots

Period Sex: Period sex with Joel makes Little One more confused than ever at what she is to Joel

Well, That’s Alright Because I Like The Way It Hurts: Joel is gone for longer than expected and you worry about him. When he comes back, you let him take his frustration out on your body

Brotherhood: Tommy and Joel reflect on their relationship as brothers.

“It Wasn’t Always Like This”: In Tommy’s arms, Little One thinks over her year with Joel

Lorenzo, Zach and Tommy: Lorenzo is slowly recovering, meets his niece for the first time

Better than Revenge: Lorenzo and Tommy can’t get revenge on Joel, but they can get revenge on the one who started it all

Zach and Lorenzo’s Wedding

Gateaway Car by Taylor Swift, thoughts by @fandxmslxt69

Art by @k-ra

Joel and Lorenzo by @fen-is-unwell

If this sort of thing doesn't interest you or triggers you, hide dub con and non con from your tags as I will be tagging any fics like that as such

Main Blog (filled with more normal fics lol): @romanarose

This is absolutely not anything anyone needs to do bc ur lovely comments are enough but if anyone makes a book board, art, a fic or anything based off this series, you absolutely can! I know some creators aren’t for it but I love when people do that, and I’ve written a few fics for a few series myself. If you are so inclined and are okay with it, I’ll attach them to this master list (that includes if you don’t like my endings you can make your own 😂)

But as always, nice comments mean the world. I know with this sort of content you may not want to Reblog it on your page, but if you leave a comment or send an anon, that means the world and keeps me writing!

[gallifreyanhotfive]

Just had a sad thought.

When do you guys think Romana found out what happened to Adric? She had to find out at some point, especially since she became Madam President.

[luunare]

for personal reasons, i am unable to rebuild my altars at this time. my adhd brain thrives on physical senses and contextualization in order to shift my focus and attention, and to build routine.

i'd previously had such a wonderful routine when it came to my devotions, worship, and relationship to the gods. however, now that i've essentially lost my personal space for the time being, that physicality is also lost.

do any of y'all, preferably other nd folks, have tips on how to devote and worship without a physical space?

[thebraxiatelcollection]

He brightened and adjusted Romana's lapels, to which she saluted brightly. "President, eh? Been there, done that. Didn't like it." "Personally, I think it rather suits me. I made my speech the other day. Read my lips, I told them, no more isolationism." The Doctor frowned, grasping his own lapels. 'That sounds dangerous.' Then he broke into a toothy grin. "I'm sure you know what you're doing." He reached out and pressed her nose, much to Spandrell's discomfiture. "Be careful, Madame President."

Doctor Who: Happy Endings by Paul Cornell

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

Being so deep into the lore of a piece of media is fun because you get to know things, but it also sucks because you can no longer have a conversation about your interests with anyone who’s remotely normal about that piece of media

[magicofthepen]

so i accidentally bought a used copy of Human Nature last weekend and read it all on Tuesday. and the TV episodes are fresh in my mind too, so Immediate Reactions (spoiler warning):

fascinating that in book!HN, the Doctor decides to become human for the hell of it, for emotional reasons. I’d assumed that it would be revealed eventually that of course he was doing it to hide from the Family (erm, I forget their species name in the book), but no, the Family was the one who turned him human. I do think the TV version works better as a premise—and the Doctor not explaining much and giving limited instructions works better if he was genuinely in a rush, rather than it being a personal choice. but still. huh.

dear lord this book is much darker than the TV version. the whole school getting blown up and most of the students dying, the bullies literally killing Tim and him being brought back to life…..

the one thing I liked better in the book was how it explored the Doctor-as-an-Ideal more—how anyone can be the Doctor. John Smith didn’t have to change back to embrace what the Doctor stood for—he chose to be the sort of hero the Doctor was himself, while he was still human. Tim learned that he can say no to being a soldier and there are other ways to do good — and literally became a doctor.

I am fascinated by John Smith surviving briefly as a separate person from the Doctor. I liked it as a plot resolution—the villain trying to absorb the Doctor and instead being thwarted because he absorbed the mind of a human. weird that he then. dies(?) but there was something quite interesting there briefly, about humanity being his undoing. and the Doctor and John Smith getting to talk to each other. and it was definitely unexpected, given how nothing of the sort happens in TV!HN. (the mechanics of becoming human and the Doctor’s memories being stored separately also being different.)

yes I did read this because I knew Romana would be mentioned. I’d heard that seeing a vision of her was what led the Doctor to realize the threat the Family posed—which is true! but I’d assumed that this vision was before the adventure, that this vision sparked his plan to thwart the Family by hiding as a human. so I was emotionally unprepared for it being John Smith having the vision. he didn’t even remember her, but seeing Romana executed was what convinced him to resist, to not give the Family what they wanted. y’all I’m feeling things 🥺

[gotyouanyway]

oh i’ve been re/finishing reading the novelisation of shada (which i haven’t actually seen) and it’s really fun except for all the sexism (many such cases)

[muffinrecord]

This is so unfair. C'mon!!!

[jetwhenitsmidnight]

Sargassa by Sophie Burnham

Release date: 8 October 2024

Genre: adult speculative fiction

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Synopsis

In a world where Rome never fell, an unlikely group of protagonists are ready to burn down the empire in the first of this new speculative trilogy.

Selah Kleios is twenty-two years old and suddenly one of the most important women in the empires. The role of Imperial Historian is her birthright, something she’s been preparing for since birth--but she was supposed to have more time to learn the role from her father, the previous Historian. In the wake of her father’s sudden and shocking assassination, Selah finds herself custodian of more than just the Imperial Archives. There’s also the question of the two puzzling classified items her father left in her care—an ancient atlas filled with landscapes that don’t exist, and a carved piece of stone that seems to do nothing at all.

Soon, though, it becomes clear that the Iveroa Stone is more than just a slab of rock. With the reappearance of an old lost love who’s been blackmailed into stealing it for an unknown entity, Selah finds herself in a race to uncover the mysteries the Stone holds. But she isn’t the only one with an interest in it—she’ll have to contend with the deputy chief of police, an undercover spy, and her own beloved half brother along the way. What begins as an act of atonement and devotion ultimately pulls her into the crosshairs of deep state conspiracy, the stirrings of an underground independence movement, and questions that threaten to shake the foundational legitimacy of Roma Sargassa’s past, present, and future.

Content warnings

Death, murder, violence

Sexual assault, sexual harassment, mentions of rape

Slavery

Classism

Misogyny, patriarchy

Unintentional misgendering

Enbyphobia, slight homophobia

Review

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC!

Not gonna lie, the beginning is pretty rough. The first 20% introduces brand new PoV chapters one after the other, with each PoV character being in a different place doing different things, plus time jumps, which made it hard to understand who's who and what's going on. I seriously considered DNFing, but I am so glad I decided to push through.

Once all the main characters have been established, the book kicks into gear. The plot is fast-paced and engaging, the story beats are on point and the build-up leading to the reveal at the end was so well-executed, I couldn't put it down. Speaking of the big reveal, looking back, there are elements that make so much more sense in hindsight, which shows how the author really thought everything through.

One part that was kind of lackluster for me was the characters. There isn't anything wrong with them, and objectively, the character work is great! But I just couldn't connect with any of them. The romance sub-plots are also kind of meh. I didn't dislike them, but I also didn't root for them.

At its heart, though, this book is about classism and injustice. The author does an excellent job of tackling these themes with the portrayal how the caste system works, as well as how the system is built to discriminate against the lower class while protecting the upper class. I find this especially timely, with everything going on in the world right now. This book is brimming with visceral rage, from rage against the system of oppression, to rage against personal injustices.

Besides the rough beginning, this book is fantastic, with a brilliant plot and well-developed world-building and themes. I cannot wait to read the sequel!

[putridcowboy]

my beloved, foreboding son has died of the plague

[raspberry-gloaming]

I'm currently listening to Skin of the Sleek and The Thief Who Stole Time and fuck me ik obviously she gets rescued but the idea of a Time Lord drowning... fuck that's fucked up.

So you're sinking, and there's no way to not, and you use your respiratory bypass for as long as you can - and then you hold your breath for as long as you can - but then it's all water in your lungs and gold, gold, gold, and you are still drowning.

Would it happen again and again? Would you keep drowning, gold and gold. The panic that would set in - would you even use your respiratory bypass or would you - by instinct, by terror, take the first breath of new life with new lungs and gulp in water? Would the body that finally sinks be so removed from the original that sunk that in your final moments of writhing you didn't know who you were anymore. I imagine it would be torture - would you wish you couldn't regenerate, that you were another species? There's no way of survival - they could just get on and die, but it's so dragged out for you.

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way: Chapter 1

Raider!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Raider!Tommy Miller x Fem!Reader

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

Chapter 2

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, an both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, attempted sexual assault (not Joel), somno, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot)but fair warning, major age gap

This is a reader fic, reader is early 20's, Joel is 40's at this point, reader is small enough that the men can lift her, but these are strong men. Reader is also refered to as little one, little girl ETC, but that's more in reference to her age/innocence than physical size.

*******************

The first time you met Joel Miller was a flurry of events.

“C’mon Joel, I don’t have it this time but I promise, next month its yours”

Jaimie, your dad, stood in front of Joel, who was unarmed but guarded by his group of fellow raiders who had guns pointed at Jaimie and his men. “Next time you’ll owe me nearly double, I’m tired of waiting, I got a reputation to uphold.”

Jaimie owed Joel money, and a lot of it. The amount of land Joel controlled was expansive, a damn near kingdom at this point that FEDRA didn’t bother with since it was so far out in the middle of nowhere. Joel and his gang of raiders made a near Viking-like living out here. You could either pay Joel monthly with small amounts of food or resources and in return you have a modicum of protection from him and other raiders as Joel’s men patrolled areas under their control, or Joel just raids you and takes everything you have. Easy enough choice. Problem was, if Joel’s men raided your farm or town, in general, they didn’t kill you if you didn’t try to fight. However, if he didn’t get what he expected from you, he was none too thrilled about using his men's resources to protect people who weren’t paying, and that debt could easily end up with someone dead, and that’s how Joel came to your dads house.

“Fine” Joel grumbled, turning to one of his men, a tall redhead. “Kill him”

“Wait!” Your dad shouted, and Joel held up a hand to stop the gunman.

“I’m listening”

“I have a daughter” Jaimie offered.

Joel narrowed his eyes at that. “You think I need help getting my dick wet?” He began to turn to the red haired man again, when your dad shouted the words that really piqued Joel’s interest.

“She’s a virgin!”

Jaimie continued, motioning for one of his men to get you from where you were hiding in the hall. “You can have your way with her, as long as you want, knock off some of what I owe you, and next month I’ll have the rest, unless of course you want her again.”

You’re pulled in before the two groups, and had the distinct feeling you were on display.

A man to the right of Joel, looking a little younger than him but only by a few years, with longer, dark hair, finally spoke. “You pimping out your own daughter?” He said with disgust.

Your dad glared at him. “Judge me all you want, Tommy, not all of us have powerful family to protect us” he turned back to Joel.

Joel held out a hand, stopping the interaction, then turned to you. His gaze was intense, focussed, harsh, and you couldn’t help but be afraid. You were used to this, of course, your dad using you as a bargaining tool, bad men who had used you and hurt you, leaving bruises and scars that were visible even from where Joel stood, but Joel was different, Joel was powerful, Joel was a cold blooded killer, and was not someone you wanted to upset or god forbid disappoint when he took you; you might end up with a bullet in the head if he wasn’t happy with a blowjob. 

Joel scanned you, taking in your body and no doubt the marks that littered your skin. “You let them do that to her?” He referenced the bruises.

Your dads hands were still raised. “Other men have used her mouth, but nothing other than that. Some men just want to toss her around, rough her up a bit, get themselves off like that, but you’d be the first inside her.”

“Joel.” The younger man spoke with a warning. “Don’t”

“I’ll do damnwell whatever I please” Joel grumbled, turning to your dad. “Mouth only, I’ll see if she’d worth buying more off after that.”

Jaimie nodded. “Sure! You can rough her up too, if you want, that’s extra, of course-”

“Shut up, I’ll decide the price when I’m done with her.” Quickly, Joel strode over to you and hanked you out of the other man’s grasp, half-dragging you to another room, your dad calling out to you not to mess this up.

Joel grabs you by the neck and shoves you to your knees, the cold, hard floor stinging against your kneecaps. You try your best to suppress the shaking fear inside you and play good little whore, reaching up to undo his belt buckle but Joel smacks your hands away, yanking you by your hair to look at him.

“Listen to me, sweetheart.” Despite the pet name, his tone was harsh and condescending. “I don’t need you to do anything, you’re just a warm, wet hole for me to get off with, got it?”

You nod.

“Just stay still and this will be over soon enough. Hands behind your back, now.” He demanded and you did as you were told, holding both your hands behind you and opening your mouth.

Joel took his cock out, and an involuntary whimper escaped you; you’d never been with a man this big, and if he liked you, he was supposed to deflower you? How was all that supposed to fit?

Joel must’ve seen the fear in your eyes. “I’ll start slow, but after that, I ain’t taking it easy on you, little girl.”

You nod quickly, thankful for even small mercies. 

Joel kept his word, sliding into you slowly, carefully, pausing when you gag, and allowing you to adjust when his full length was inside. Tears pricked at your eyes, it hurt so bad, but you needed to do good. If Joel didn’t like you, whatever you dad would do as punishment would be way worse than this.

He pulled himself all the way out, and told you to take a breath. “This is where the fun begins”. When he thrust his dick inside you, you heaved so hard that if you had eaten anything, you would’ve thrown up all over him, spit spilling out of your mouth mixed with stomach bile, your scalp stinging from his painful grip on your hair.

“Fuck yeah, gag on it” You can hear him say above you, and it’s not like you have a choice, continuing to make a mess on him and yourself, the drool dripping down your chin.

“Such a pretty little mouth” he grunts with each thrust. “Wonder what that tight little cunt would feel like.” You can’t help but whimper, knowing how much it would hurt to feel Joel stretching you open. His breathing becomes heavier. “Don’t know if I can have you just once, princess, just look at you…” His fingers entangled themselves deeper into your hair, holding you still as he fucked your face. “Might just have to keep you, be my little pocket pussy to use whenever I want, you want that? Hm?” When you don’t respond, you keep your eyes tightly closed, as the pain in your throat grows.

Joel huffs a laugh when you don’t respond, not that you could say much of anything either way. “Well, you don’t really have much of a choice. But wouldn’t it be better? Only me? No more random men? Of course, I’d fuck you, be the first one inside you…” His pace was faltering, imagining breaking you open, your blood on him… “Fuck!” Joel cums in your mouth with no warning, and you begin to cough and choke, cum and spit falling out of your mouth and he pulls you off him by your hair, throwing you to the ground. 

You lay there, heaving and coughing, face covered in spit, tears and cum and maybe a little blood, your throat burns and your just want to curl up and cry, but Joel is pulling you up. “Let's go” he’s yanking you around again, and you stumble to the door, feeling somewhat like a rag doll. Before opening, however, Joel stops, wiping his sleeve roughly on your face. “Can’t let them see what a pretty mess you make, princess.”

When he pulled out outside, where it seems the tensions hadn’t eased, Joel announces he’s taking you.

Your dad immediately protests, and for a moment you think he might actually care about you, until he gives his reason, being that he sells your mouth for extra money, and Joel can’t take that away from him.

“I’ll wipe your debts clean” Joel isn’t even looking at him, yanking you to where his men had loaded resources onto their horses.

“But that’s-”

“And the next three months free.”

Your dad seemed to recognize that Joel wanted you, and tried to trade for more and Joel hoped on his horse, never letting go of your arm. Effortlessly, he reached under your arms and pulls you up onto the horse, and you suddenly realize the weight of the predicament. Joel was taking you, and you weren’t coming back. He was going to fuck you until he was tired of you, then throw you away, if he doesn’t kill you. You were never going to see your friend or your brother again.

“Joel, come on, she’s my only daughter” You dad tried one more time, and you begin to squirm in Joel’s lap, wanting out. “She’s worth a little more than that, untouched.”

“Dad, please, don’t”

Joel wraps an arm around you and points a gun at your dad's head. “Three months, and I don't blow your brains out right now.”

Raising his hands, Jaimie backs down, giving up.

“Lets go” Joel says to the younger man from before, and turns his horse around.

You hear your name called from the house, and turn to find your brother running outside. 

“ZACH!” You scream for help, the fight in you kicking in, desperately trying to get out of Joel’s arms. The horse takes off, and you turn to see Zach getting on his own and starting after you and your dad telling him to stop.

Turning around, in one movement, Joel turns your head into his chest to cover your ears, and shoots.

You scream, and turn to see your brother fallen off the horse, laying still.

The first time you saw Joel Miller, he fucked your face, bought you, kidnapped you, and killed your brother in a span of ten minutes.

“One stop princess, then we can go home, and you get to be my little toy.” Joel spoke, his breath hot in your ear, as if he was your husband taking you home after a wedding, not the man who just uprooted you from everything you know.

The stop, as it turned out, took 2 hours to get to, and you were exhausted and in shock by the time you, the younger brunette and the redhead separated from the group. Joel had tied up your arms in front of you, not that you could escape even if you tried. Joel was much stronger than you. You were nearly nodding off, Joel’s hold on you keeping you upright, the adrenaline rush leaving you bone tired, when you heard a woman’s voice.

“You trafficking girls now, Joel?”

You open your eyes wearily to find a woman on a horse with two others flanking her, she had dark skin and her hair was in braids, eyeing Joel with disgust.

Joel’s hand ran across the top of your chest, closer to your collar bone but enough to make your whimper. It was a display, more than anything, meant to get a rise out of the woman. “What would you do if I was?”

“Not much I can do, it seems.” She seethed.

“Relax, Maria. Her dad was the one was selling her, I bought, she’s staying with me.”

You were dreary, unable to keep your eyes open, only listening to the voices.

“And that’s supposed to be better?”

You could feel Joel shrug. “Maybe, maybe not. But she’s not getting passed around like she was at her dads. We ain’t making a habit of it, if that makes you feel any better.”

Joel motioned the redheaded man over, who Joel referred to Nick. “Take her, just up the hill there, out of earshot, but where I can see her. Do. Not. Touch.”

Falling asleep against your best attempts to stay awake, you feel yourself getting picked up and handed off into another's arms. Over the next few hours, you were in and out of sleep, unable to fully rest but unable to stay away either. Passed back to Joel, who you only knew was him from the smell of his leather jacket, and another long ride for god knows how long, you finally awaken when Joel passes you down from the horse and into the brunette man’s arms before climbing down and reclaiming you. You felt like an object they just passed around as needed, no regard for you. You open your eyes in front of a large house, trying to take everything that had happened in the last few hours, but between your sleep addled brain and the general shock of it, you found yourself unable to. This is where you’d stay for the remainder of your short life, Joel rapeing you and letting god knows who else do the same until you die. Joel starts pulling you inside.

“Please” You whimper before you can stop yourself.

Joel thrust you up against the door, his face right next to yours and his beard rubbing against your skin, burning it. “What was that, little one?”

But you don’t reply.

“Joel…” the younger man says from behind the two of you.

“Shut up, Tommy.” He pulls you back, opening the unlocked door. “You ain’t fucking in charge here. I paid good money for her.” He snaps to Tommy, his large hand around the back of your neck tightening, making you whimper. “And I’m bout to get my money's worth.”

“I know” Tommy steps forward, carefully, like he has experience cooling his leader down. “We just road 4 fours, maybe you should wait, you’re tired-”

“You calling me old?” Joel fully turned around, his hand moving to the front of your throat, pressing your back into his front.

“No, that ain’t what I’m saying, Joel. I just mean you got her as long as you want her, no need to do it tonight, you can enjoy yourself more later.” Tommy’s eyes flickered over to yours, and you saw just a smidge of sympathy before they went back to Joel. “She’s had a long night, Joel, she just lost everything. Give her one night, please?”

You stood there in Joel’s arms, your hands still tied in front of you, feeling the rapid rise and fall of Joel’s chest, praying to whomever that you can have this; if Joel took your virginity tonight, you were sure you’d simply break.

Grabbing your bundled hand, Joel begins dragging you inside, and you see why the door wasn’t locked. In the living room, several more men were sitting inside: some drinking, some playing games, some just… sitting. Joel turns to them “She is mine, no one fucking touches her.” he demands as he pulls you, stumbling and trying to keep up with his long strides. Opening up a door, Joel thrusts your back to the wall, taking out his knife and you gasp, trying to get away; to where, you don’t know.

“Hold still, woman, or I’ll cut you for real.” Joel cut off your hand ties, and literally threw you onto the dirty mattress. He stomped over, towering above you, and pointing. “One night. Tomorrow I get what I paid for, and you’re mine, wherever, whenever, and however I want you, no matter what Tommy and his bleeding heart think. Understood?”

You nod, but that's not enough for him.

“Say, ‘yes, Sir’”

You swallow, and speak as much as you can imagine. “Yes sir”

“Go to sleep”

And with that, he leaves the room, and you can hear it locking. How are you supposed to sleep after all that? After everything?

Not long after, the door opens again, and you scramble up thinking Joel changed his mind; it was Tommy, but that didn’t ease you at all. Maybe Tommy showed you mercy to save you for himself.

“Relax, I ain’t gonna hurt you.”

He’s got a bowl in one hand and a bag in the other. “Don’t got much by way of a bath tonight, but here's hot water and a towel, you can at least wash your face, and here’s clean clothes and a pillow”

You don’t move, frozen in fear, almost as if he was a t-rex; if you didn’t move, he wouldn’t see you.

A soft smile. ”Alright, I’ll get out of your hair” and with that he leaves you, your room dark save for the moonlight coming through the window.

********************

You know, when I made this side blog it was initially gonna be like. Secret. Like I wasn't gonna tell my mutuals i had a side blog for dark content

But even if I decided to stay anonymous, the fact I have a fic with a song title, a shitty dad and a good brother would've given it away lol

Anyway, if you want to read more, comment to be added to the tag list!

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

[reflection-s-of-stars]

don't worry, before the locked tomb series gets better, it gaslights you for a whole book. also poor magnus 😭

I miss him so much it’s not even funny

[paganpillar]

Nothing is more powerful than custom or habit.

- Ovid

[flovverworks]

five yrs in forgotten valley would help akira tremendously