#roma wolfe

[valhdia]

CRACKSHIP - Carla Gugino & Michelle Yeoh ( roma wolfe-pagani & lauren chen-ashmore ) Ⓒ valhdia

[eopederson]

Lupo, arte di strada, Testaccio, Roma, 2019.

[bitter69uk]

“(Magnani was) an ordinary Roman who was anything but ordinary. Magnani was a volcano, a tempest, a devastating performer who seemed to live and breathe her art and whose best performances would rank among the most vivid and immediate and emotion-rich ever filmed. She was born in Rome in 1908 (and would die there in 1973), and she was a living symbol of the city: its she-wolf, its spirit goddess, the voice of its streets, the face and body of its native population … The piazzas of Rome may have been filled with women like Magnani but on screen, particularly among leading ladies, there was nobody to compare. She would never be mistaken for a beauty pageant contestant or some producer’s girl on the side: she was full-bodied, shaggy-maned, often slightly disheveled, with a long nose and a tendency to sport bags under her eyes. She projected no vanity and few pretenses. But she had a raw, titanic talent, especially for screen acting, where the camera could get close in on her and reveal her wondrous ability to channel the disparate emotions of a moment.”

/ From Dolce Vita Confidential: Fellini, Loren, Pucci, Paparazzi and the Swinging High Life of 1950s Rome (2017) by Shawn Levy /

Died on this day fifty years ago: the fiercely sensual, temperamental and magnetic earth mother of Italian cinema and Italy’s single greatest actress, Anna Magnani (7 March 1908 - 26 September 1973). As John Waters concludes, “She was earthy. God knows she was earthy!”

[harminder]

🐺 The Capitoline Wolf 🇮🇹

[bbbigforehead]

ngl racist dragon age/ fantasy fans in general saying poc can't be elves/ exist in fantasy cuz "it's only for white europeans" is SO ABSURD as a black slavic person

[purasvagancias]

Etruscan Pottery X: The Wolf-man or the Shape of Fate. por Egisto Sani Por Flickr: At center, infernal daemon represented as a Wolf-man. According to some scholars, this figure represents the soul of a man bound to the world of the dead. The Etruscan demonizing conception transforms this figure in a man-wolf, a daemon-wolf. Therefore the "monster" could be identified as a restless soul: primarily the spirit of people who had not received a ritual burial, or who had died violently or prematurely. See the cinerary urn - Volterra, Museo Guarnacci - depicting an enchained monster with wolf head who tries to get out of a puteal. Pontic Plate Height 9.4 cm, diameter 20.0 cm. Attributed to the Tityos Painter Ca. 520 BC From Vulci Rome, Villa Giulia, Museo Nazionale Etrusco

[thefriscalatingdusklight]

Romas Viesulas. Wolf, Blind in One Eye. 1957.

[untamedlobo]

Does the Rumancek family have any new years traditions?

Lynda: “I make a special cabbage rolls and usually have to fight Peter off the sweet breads or the cognacs” she chuckled.

“We also toss a coin in the river and try to find a bear or any thing resembling a bear ..” Peter mused remembering fun car rides to scavenger hunt for bears with his mom. “Bears are good luck “

[malusrecord]

[thunderstruck9]

Franco Angeli (Italian, 1935-1988), Lupa [She Wolf], 1982-83. Enamel on canvas, 80 x 100 cm.

Franco Angeli (1935-1988)—The She Wolf of Rome [enamel on canvas, 1982]

[blondephil]

hello (one of the) resident phannie data analyst(s) here with some parasocial stats on dnp’s movie tastes! following: distribution of dan and phil's ratings overall, movies they each rated 5 stars, their lowest-rated movies, and the similarities + differences in their tastes

(lore moment: yes i am a data analyst in my real job. yes i surprised myself with wanting to do this in my spare time. but then i remembered when we read dracula in college (yes i was an english major) and i graphed like, how many times dracula was referred to as vampire versus monster or something. so i shouldn’t be surprised.

first up, their overall rating patterns and by ~special status~ (i.e., wall-e, kill bill, avatar, lmao, plus big hero 6 for the fun of it)

dan’s rated 304 movies and phil’s rated 305. both of them have mean and median ratings of 4 with min 1 and max 5.

both rated kill bill vols. 1 and 2 a 5. wall-e got a 4.5 from dan and a 4 from phil (phake phans). both gave avatar a 3.5. and big hero 6 3.5 (dan) and 4.5 (phil)

rating distribution:

i did analyses here by genre but i need to fix the output (i’m writing all of these based on the markdown document from my phone on the subway, but i need to fix the outputs and i don’t have my computer. so those are pending but there are other genre analyses that i could do & haven’t yet!)

while i was sorting through the data i got the impression that dan overall rated movies higher than phil. so, among movies that they've both rated, here's some information

number of movies dan rated higher than phil: 65

Empire Strikes Back, Blade Runner, Return of the Jedi, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Nightmare Before Christmas, Toy Story, Phantom Mence, Donnie Darko, Attack of the Clones, Finding Nemo, Oldboy, The Notebook, Batman Begins, Brokeback Mountain, WALL-E, (500) Days of Summer, Up, The Hangover, Drive, The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Life of Pi, Skyfall, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Whiplash, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Room, The Hateful Eight, The Force Awakens, Manchester by the Sea, Deadpool, La La Land, Moonlight, Rogue One, Call Me By Your Name, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2., Wonder Woman, Spider-Man: Homecoming, I, Tonya, Thor: Ragnorak, Phantom Thread, Roma, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Toy Story 4, Midsommar, Ad Astra, Knives Out, Soul, The Green Knight, No Time to Die, Don't Look Up, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Turning Red, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Thor: Love and Thunder, The Banshees of Inisherin, The Fabelmans, Glass Onion, Beau is Afraid, Barbie, Oppenheimer, Poor Things

number of movies phil rated higher than dan: 55

Star Wars (New Hope), Blair Witch Project, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Ocean's Eleven, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Moonrise Kingdom, Iron Man 3, Gravity, Prisoners, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Imitation Game, Nightcrawler, John Wick, Gone Girl, Big Hero 6, Jurassic World, The Martian, The Revenant, Nocturnal Animals, Split, Get Out, Baby Driver, The Disaster Artist, Dunkirk, The Shape of Water, The Greatest Showman, The Last Jedi, Ready Player One, Crazy Rich Asians, A Star is Born, Rocketman, Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood, Joker, The Rise of Skywalker, The Invisible Man, A Quiet Place Part II, Greenland, Tenet, Malignant, Eternals, The Matrix Resurrections, Scream (2022), Nope, Prey, Talk to Me, Avatar: The Way of the Water, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

number of movies they rated the same: 99!

Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Se7en, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Spider-Man, Lost in Translation, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Mean Girls, Howl's Moving Castle, Children of Men, The Dark Knight, Pontypool, Inglourious Basterds, Avatar, Toy Story 3, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Black Swan, The Social Network, 21 Jump Street, The Hunger Games, Silver Linings Playbook, The Conjuring, Snowpiercer, Her, Thor: The Dark World, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Boyhood, It Follows, Guardians of the Galaxy, Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance), Interstellar, Ex Machina, The Witch, Avengers: The Age of Ultron, Mad Max: Fury Road, Inside Out, Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Your Name., Arrival, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, mother!, It, Blade Runner 2049, Hereditary, Black Panther, Annihilation, A Quiet Place, Avengers: Infinity War, Captain Marvel, Us, Avengers: Endgame, Parasite, It Chapter Two, Marriage Story, Uncut Gems, 1917, Black Widow, The Suicide Squad, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, Dune, Last Night in Soho, The Batman (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once, X, The Northman, Top Gun: Maverick, Bullet Train, Barbarian, Pearl, M3GAN, Dungeons and Dragongs: Honor Among Thieves, Evil Dead Rise, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., No Hard Feelings, Saltburn, Priscilla, Society of the Snow, Saw X, Leave the World Behind

i didn't analyse this by genre or anything, but i could -- so if you're interested lmk!

the 5 movies with the most different ratings between dan and phil

- Iron Man 2 (dan: 2, phil 3.5)

- The Greatest Showman (d: 2.5, p: 4)

- Malignant (d: 3, p: 4.5)

- Scream (2022) (d: 2.5, p: 4)

- Beau is Afraid (d: 3, p: 1.5)

Interesting that even though dan has more higher rated movies, 4/5 of these ones phil rated higher.

next, their 5-star movies

dan's five stars: 80

Alien, Empire Strikes Back, ET, Blade Runner, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Jurassic Park, Nightmare Before Christmas, Schindler's List, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Toy Story, Fargo, Scream, The Fifth Element, Hercules, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Fight Club, Magnolia, The Emperor's New Groove, Donnie Darko, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Finding Nemo, Kill Bill, Oldboy, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Shaun of the Dead, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, Revenge of the Sith, Brokeback Mountain, No Country for Old Men, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Tree of Life, 21 Jump Street, The Avengers, Life of Pi, Skyfall, Under the Skin, Whiplash, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Sicario, The Hateful Eight, La La Land, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, First Man, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Parasite, Midsommar, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Oppenheimer, Poor Things

phil's five stars:

Star Wars (New Hope), Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Revenant, Arrival, Dunkirk, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Gladiator, Little Miss Sunshine

overlap: 39

Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick

& their lowest rated movies...

dan: matrix resurrections (1) , thor: the dark world (1.5), the rise of skywalker (1.5)

phil: crimes of the future (1), attack of the clones (1.5), thor: the dark world (1.5), don’t look up (1.5), the matrix resurrections (1.5), doctor strange in the multiverse of madness (1.5), beau is afraid (1.5), black bear (1.5)

not even chris hemsworth could save thor the dark world, i guess (kat dennings, though…)

movies they logged on the same date:

note that this is like, non-exhaustive, because this is only based on their diaries that list the date. i think in reality they've watched most of these movies together. frequently dan logged a couple days after phil which aren’t shown here. procrastination queen

Pontypool, Eternals, The Northman, Nope, Barbarian, The Banshees of Inisherin, Glass Onion, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Beau is Afraid, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, Saltburn, Poor Things, Priscilla, Saw X, Leave the World Behind

movies that one logged and not the other:

dan but not phil: 85

The Exorcist, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Home Alone 2, Schindler's List, Fargo, Romeo & Juliet, Hercules, Men in Black, Neon Genesis Evangelion, The Mummy, The 13th Warrior, Fight Club, The Emperor's New Groove, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Legally Blonde, Monsters, Inc, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Scooby-Doo, 28 Days Later, Matrix Reloaded, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, School of Rock, Matrix Revolutions, Saw, Shaun of the Dead, Shrek 2, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Revenge of the Sith, The Devil Wears Prada, Borat, Casino Royale, No Country for Old Men, Death Proof, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, There Will Be Blood, Tropic Thunder, Slumdog Millionaire, Moon, District 9, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The King's Speech, We Need to Talk About Kevin, The Tree of Life, X-Men: First Class, Prometheus, Argo, Les Miserables, Django Unchained, World War Z, Pacific Rim, Under the Skin, 12 Years a Slave, American Hustle, The Babadook, The Lego Movie, x-Men: Days of Future Past, 22 Jump Street, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, The Theory of Everything, Green Room, Sicario, Spotlight, The Big Short, 10 Cloverfield Lane, The Conjuring 2, Train to Busan, Hacksaw Ridge, Doctor Strange, Hidden Figures, Logan, You Were Never Really Here, Game Night, Isle of Dogs, First Man, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Suspiria, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Glass, Hustlers, Pig, Violent Night

phil but not dan: 86

Jaws, The Terminator, Beetlejuice, Die Hard, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Groundhog Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Leon: The Professional, The Usual Suspects, The Frighteners, The Sixth Sense, Being John Malkovich, American Beauty, The Green Mile, Gladiator, Catch Me if You Can, Elf, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Little Miss Sunshine, Pan's Labyrinth, The Prestige, Zodiac, Spider-Man 3, Iron Man, Juno, Lake Mungo, Twilight, Zombieland, Kick-Ass, Brave, Evil Dead, The Great Gatsby, Now You See Me, Monsters University, Man of Steel, About Time, Dallas Buyers Club, Edge of Tomorrow, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The Boy, Raw, Finding Dory, Suicide Squad, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, John Wick: Chapter 2, Lady Bird, The Ritual, Happy Death Day, Deadpool 2, Ocean's 8, Ant-Man and The Wasp, Bird Box, Booksmart, Crawl, Spider-Man: Far From Home, The Platform, Black Bear, Palm Springs, The Empty Man, The Innocents, Titane, Old, Free Guy, The Black Phone, Fresh, Watcher, Bodies Bodies Bodies, Ambulance, Aftersun, Crimes of the Future, Fall, Bones and All, The Menu, Sanctuary, Do Revenge, Smile, Hellraiser (2022), Mr. Harrigan's Phone, Plane, Missing, Infinity Pool, Past Lives, Knock at the Cabin, Scream VI

i’m interested to see how this varies by genre!

miscellaneous non-statistical things that made me parasocially emotional and/or laugh during this process:

they watched nope together on christmas eve 2022 <3

dan rated moulin rouge a 5 <3 nature boy <3

he also rated shrek a 5. of course. (valid).

4.5 from dan and 4 from phil from the notebook

5 from danny for brokeback mountain <3 and a 4.5 from philly

cmbyn, yes, has its issues, but dan rated 4.5 and phil 4

the shape of water got a 4.5 from monsterfucker phil lester (dan gave it a 4)

surprisingly phil rated rocketman higher than dan! surprising because dan liked so many musicals

dan gave hustlers a 3.5. i don't know why i think this is funny, but i do. phil doesn't have it logged or rated, lmao.

a 4 (d) and a 3.5 (p) for barbie!

phil gave twilight a 3. lol.

phil also gave do revenge only a 3.5. tragique.

phil watched a LOT of horror alone in october 2022 (aka while dan was on tour). anyway he's just like me <3

[hitomisuzuya]

Blade x fem!reader. Kafka x fem!reader. A few paragraphs of smut (Cunnilingus) Itty, bitty description of blood. Somewhat fluffy.

I meant to write this a whole lot earlier, but I had my hands full with Roma. She's very scared of fireworks🥺

If there was one thing that Kafka enjoyed teasing you about while she made you cum on her tongue, it was your obvious feelings for Blade. As much as you'd like to think you could hide them, in reality you knew you couldn't hide anything from Kafka.

"Bladie would enjoy hearing you moan like this," She would look up at you to see the shy blush dust your cheeks, prodding her tongue against your clit to make you grind on her mouth.

That was one of tame ones.

You wanted more than anything for Blade to acknowledge. Problem is Blade was the type of man who you didn't know what he was thinking. You are a Stellaron Hunter. And you weren't one for nothing, your strength more than proved that.

You were always pushing yourself , even going in over your head in battles alone. This was one such time.

A nest of the Swarm proved too much for you. You ran out of strength, and a True Sting put you down for what you are certain would be the last time. Nobody knew you were here.

You laid on the ground, cut up and covered in blood, ready to accept to your death with quiet dignity. You had gotten in over your head, all for a collosal crush and you now you are paying the price. The disgusting bug leapt into the air down towards you, and in that moment time slowed down.

You weren't even aware of the tears falling from your cheeks until now. It wasn't from the pain of steadily bleeding wounds, but the pain in your heart. You raised a hand, bloodied from gripping your sword so hard to cover your eyes. You couldn't handle the last bits of your pride being stamped away, crying in front of the enemy before you died.

You wouldn't get see Blade again. Or Kafka. Silver Wolf or Firefly.

"I'm sorry I messed up badly," You sniffled softly, "I really did poorly this time, didn't I?"

You braced yourself for the inevitable.

The inevitable that never came.

Strong blades of wind cut through the air, instantaneously obliterating the True Sting. You tried to focus your blurry vision. What the fuck just happened?

You were bewildered to see Blade standing over you. How did he know you were here? Nobody did. (Silver Wolf did. Your phone didn't get broken in the fight. That's all she needed.) "Blade?" You asked weakly. You had to be sure it wasn't a hallucination from blood loss.

Blade nodded, scooping you up bridal style in his arms. "Hey, wait, no. Blade I can (you can't) walk on my own," You protested shyly. Blade let you jostle yourself around in his arms a bit, forcing you to recognize just how much pain you were in.

Putting a hand on your head, he rested it against his chest. "Firefly was worried about you," He said, and you swore you thought you saw a momentary softness flicker through his beautiful eyes.

What he said next, you thought your heart stopped in my chest and restarted seconds later from the shock.

"You did good," Three simple words were enough to make you hide your face in his chest. Too bad you missed the soft smile briefly tug at the corner of his lips.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Anna Magnani (Rome Open City, Mamma Roma, The Rose Tattoo)—don't take my word for it, here are some of the things she was called during her career: "la lupa (the wolf) of Italian cinema," "passionate, fearless, and exciting," "the volcanic earth mother of all Italian cinema," "one of the most impressive actresses since Garbo," "Whenever Magnani laughs or cries (which is often), it's as if you've never seen anyone laugh or cry before: has laughter ever been so burstingly joyful or tears so shatteringly sad?" and maybe best of all, from Tennessee Williams, who wrote multiple roles specifically for her: "She is simply a rare being who seems to have about her a little lightning-shot cloud all her own...In a crowded room, she can sit perfectly motionless and silent and still you feel the atmospheric tension of her presence, its quiver and hum in the air like a live wire exposed, and a mood of Anna's is like the presence of royalty."

Nutan (Bandini, Anari, Seema)— In an era where plump and petite women were considered the height of beauty, Nutan was thin and gangly. While her beauty is obvious today, she was considered somewhat unusual throughout her acting career, which contains over 70 films. Contrary to the belief that female actresses careers ended after marriage, Nutan won four of her five Filmfare Awards after her marriage and the birth of her son. Nutan was known for her gorgeous, emotive brown eyes and her incredible singing voice.

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Anna Magnani:

An icon of post-war neorealist italian cinema - an unbelievably good actress. Also, the first non-english speaking actress to win the Oscar for Best Actress (in 1956)!

realness!! amid the typical hollywood pristine glamour anna magnani stuck out as sexy in a really real, grounded way. so much so that even shallow 40s hollywood allowed her to come over from italy to be in some high profile movies. an icon

She smoked, she drank, she didn't give a f-. Her acting was described as explosive, with a lot of emotions and drama and they called her a she-wolf. Playwright Tennessee Williams became an admirer of her acting and wrote The Rose Tattoo (1955) specifically for her to star in, a role for which she received an Academy Award for Best Actress, becoming the first Italian – and first non-English speaking woman – to win an Oscar.

Nutan:

[bitter69uk]

“She was earthy. God knows she was earthy!” John Waters on Anna Magnani. 

Born on this day 115 years ago: Italy’s single greatest actress Anna Magnani (7 March 1908 - 26 September 1973). The volcanic, temperamental and fiercely compelling Magnani was the sensual earth mother / she-wolf of Italian neo-realist cinema, working with all the key post-war Italian directors (Rossellini, Visconti, Pasolini, Fellini). In addition, she was a friend and muse to American playwright Tennessee Williams. “She has the warmth and vigor of a panther!” Williams once gushed. “Her figure is the very meaning of sex.” I treasure Magnani’s operatic performances in L’Amore (1948), The Golden Coach (1952), Bellissima (1952), Wild is the Wind (1957), The Fugitive Kind (1960) and Mamma Roma (1962). Pictured: Magnani (in a blonde wig) in The Passionate Thief (Risate di gioia) (1960).

Anna Magnani │ Risate di gioia, 1960

[copperbadge]

[ID: A graffiti drawing of a wolf on a stucco wall in an alley in Rome; the wolf's eyes and muzzle have been replaced with the word "Lupo". This is likely a reference to the Italian idiom "In bocca al lupo!" which literally means "in the mouth of the wolf" but is a phrase you use to wish someone luck.]

I didn't post about NaClYoHo yesterday, but I have been doing it! Hasn't been much to post because I'm still doing the digital cleaning, but I took the day off from answering asks and emails (communication is tiring!) to continue sorting photos for my annual photo yearbook, which is a bigger task this year because I haven't done one for the past two years. I'm on 2023 now, and thus working my way through what I want to put into the yearbook.

The Europe trip was a little bit a mixed bag which was to be expected given it was my first time; I loved it but I had moments of anxiety and upset as well. Still, very much a net positive -- I enjoyed every city I was in, even Amsterdam where I didn't have the greatest time. There's just something about Rome.

I spent the least time there, the museums I went to in London and Paris were bigger and nicer, the food in Rome was great but Paris was better. Rome just...calls to me. I thought about the next Europe trip I want to take, and I thought, well, I could just split the trip between England and Amsterdam (to give it a more fair shake) with a daytrip to Paris for the D'orsay...but if I go to Europe I have to go back to Rome.

Maybe it's because I spent the least time there, or because it was jammed full of intense emotion, between visiting the Great Synagogue and seeing the AS Roma game. But also I think it's just...a city I will love for reasons that will always be a mystery to me. Boston is the same way. Something about old cities with weird histories and streets laid out like you're never supposed to find where you meant to go. And very intense love for sports teams involving the color red.

I love Chicago and my life is here; I think at this point it would be extremely difficult for me to relocate anywhere. But the very short list of places I would move to if I did leave definitely includes Rome.

[still-fatemeh]

♤Wolf in sheep's clothing♤

Fyodor Dostoevsky X reader

[The reader is named Anna. As in Anna dostoevskaya, the writer's second wife. But, doesn't necessarily nod back to the real life person, just like how asagiri went with Nobuko Sasaki for the antagonist in dazai's entrance exam novel. I just pick a name because I hate using Y/N, that's all. Also, this goes back in time (fyodor's old as fuck) about the age where he met bram. My English is limited, there may be grammar mistakes. Enjoy 💜 it's hella toxic]

The reflection of flames in the violet eyes of the man, was a subdued version of what the fire truly was. It was a fire as destructive and scorching as a volcano, devouring anything that came in contact with it and giving back ashes. The aftermath was going to be a hassle, something similar to incendium magnum Romae.

She watched the hazardous catastrophe in the form of a fire from above, watching the people and their blood-curdling screams, all terrified, who'd sacrificed all they had for the fire to consume and grow bigger, burning even further. Her expression was tight, unimpressed even.

Clutching the pendant of her pearl necklace in her palm, her eyes stared straight ahead, no uncertainty or fear could be seen in them. It was rather difficult to guess where her train of thought was heading. But to fyodor it wasn't at all hard to guess, he'd come to know her mind well and, also the fact that he was the root of all this chaos.

"Are you enjoying this?" Anna asked him with a hint of disdain in her tone, her eyes still fixed on the fire.

"They aren't suffering for my pleasure, sweetheart. It just happened to be what they had, had to be sacrificed for the cause. For a beautiful world, free of sin." He said simply with a graceful smile as his gaze shifted to look at her instead of the burning city, it was true that a step closer to fulfilling his goal was a beautiful event, but she... She was far more beautiful.

Before she could voice her thoughts regarding his cryptic answer, he spoke again. Partly to kill her train of thought, to prevent her from berating him for being so guiltless and hypocritical. She wasn't going to stay that way for too long though. "Why, are you mad?"

She shook her head in a manner that indicated a negative answer. "No, I have no reason to be mad at you."

"Why?" Fyodor asked, curious.

"Because I'm no eye of God to judge people for their deeds, not the immorality that I, myself assisted in creating. I'm no hand of God to deliver his justice."

Fyodor mused.

"Why? Don't you think of yourself as worthy?"

"It's not a matter of worth, it's a matter of place. And it's no one's place to claim the position of the almighty."

His smile broadened, her words, strangely enough, seemed to amuse him to no end.

"Do you think of me as some lunatic trying to play God?"

He asked once again, his eyes deceptively soft as he awaited her answer.

Her eyes were still on the fire with the same pointed gaze as before but now, they had a glimmer of resignation in them.

"No, I don't think of you as such."

"Why?"

And there came another demand from him; for her to reason, but she was afraid this was a question she didn't have an answer to, her Achilles heel.

Her eyes trailed from the fire to the railing of the balcony, the hint of sharpness in them giving it's place to melancholy.

"Is it because you love me?"

That rolled off his tongue oh-so-easily.

"It's too soon for me to be deciding that." It came off as uncertain, abashed even.

"Worry not, dearest. You have all the time in the world to consider it." He said with a reverent smile.

.

.

.

After a moment of perfect stillness, Anna spoke again.

"My father admired you and everything you stood for, that's the reason I don't think of you as evil."

"And yet his corpse is burning in the same fire that I made. He lost everything trusting one man."

He stated the obvious and her eyes clouded over with unimaginable grief.

"Are you... calling him... foolish?"

She could barely force herself to say the words. And more than the painful question, she dreaded his answer, she feared it.

"Yes."

Fyodor said firmly. Anna's head snapped in his direction with a stunned expression.

"His trust was valuable, and his belief was that of a correct nature. And he gave it away to make himself a martyr for the cause. He was foolish for giving away his trust so freely but not for believing that good exists within everyone, that God made us in his own image, perfection."

He paused, his face painted with an image of indifference.

"People take refuge in God because they're afraid of the burning fires of hell. The firewood comes from their own crimes, as punishment. The lava that eats up their ashes stems from the volcano of their own wrongdoings. They fancy they serve the cause of religion because the devils show them their horns from the other world. But your father was rather exceptional..." He was having fun with words, and she was listening like she's never been before. As if he was giving her the sweetest promises... Anna was all ears and trembling, as if listening to a pastor preaching about doom's day.

His air of intentness faded as he spared her half-questioning face a glance and gave her a subtle smile. "And he brought up an amazing woman, to continue his legacy. That's not an easy task by any means."

She gulped, shame flooding her expression.

"You... don't have to rub salt on the wound, you don't have to keep reminding me of my betrayal and ungratefulness. I'll stand by my promise, you don't need to take any extra measures to ensure that..."

Fyodor's lips twitched into a thin smile.

"So... you know yourself worthy of telling me what to do, what measures to take, what measures not to take, what to decide..."

Fyodor's tone had a lilt of amusement to it at seeing her mortified expression, she anticipated exactly what was about to come. Smart woman.

"But you don't consider yourself worthy of playing God?"

His voice suddenly became dangerously low. His hand raised her chin to look her in the eyes. Anna held his gaze really well, she was courageous enough to ignore the screams of every fiber of her being begging her to run. To get away from this man. It was also a display of pride, to show him a hint of the noble blood that coursed through her veins. She was raised for greatness, after all.

But all fyodor saw was a sparrow trapped in a predator's grip, unable to flee, her fate as clear as day, her fate as dark as the abyss.

His hand wandered higher, forcefully cupping her cheeks. reddened due to the heat that the huge fire exuded. Her face remained stoic but her eyes were extremely expressive, they gave her away. He could see the fear, the agony, the feeling of worthlessness, determination, devotion, guilt, grief, everything. And above all, despite her unawareness, those doey eyes spoke of innocence. God, her eyes glistening was such a sight. It was as if she was sculpted by the greatest of the great artists, so talented that they could bring the epidemy of perfection and grace to life. And he couldn't wait to take that all for himself.

"You betrayed the man that put his all into raising you... You threw him away for the evil incarnate that I am... Don't you dare think of me as hypocritical when this is what you are... How am I supposed to know you won't betray me for the next man that comes your way? You set yourself up for failure, sweetheart..."

She was frozen, afraid but also... she was still standing. Shivering, but still on her own two feet.

"You bit the hand that fed you,"

His hand wondered lower this time, letting go of his grip on her jaw and grasping the necklace around her neck.

"Now you're going to be licking the boot that kicks you."

He pulled the necklace forward so hard that the thread holding it together snapped and it fell apart. All she could hear was the sound of pearls hitting the ground.

She had nothing to fear anymore. She no longer had anything that she dreaded losing. She was a traitor, a betrayer of her father's trust and she deserved to burn for it...

"Don't be afraid, dearest. I'll rewrite your fate for you. I'm not ever going to let you betray me. You don't even think of such thing, right? Because that'll make you even more worthless. The most worthless harlot that has ever set foot on this earth. But, I'm a generous man. I'm willing to forget the past if you're willing to leave it behind..."

All she could hear was the agonising cries of a mother who was carrying the burned corpse of her child...

She was paying for her crimes but what crime did the poor child have to pay for?