Dick knows anger better than most.
Since the night of the circus it's been all consuming each day a test to see if he finally gives in. Hiding behind smiles and laughter.
His siblings especially test his control.
Not what they do Little Wing could flat out murder him and he would brush it off.
Every bruise, every cut he sees on his Robins forces him to breathe. So he doesn't hunt whoever did it.
He knows Jason understands or at least is aware he watched the fights that occurred between Bruce and him.
But only one sibling understands exactly what he would do what he could do with the right motivation.
He killed the Joker if it wasn't for Bruce the clown would be six feet deep and he wouldn't lose a wink.
He knows Ra's has had a slight obsession with his Baby bird, his baby brother.
He didn't realized how far it had went. What Ra had orchestrated what he had tried to take from Tim.
His baby bird laid it all at his feet. Those eyes that once were so full of light shining with unshed tears. Haunted in the same way Dick's are when it rains.
His little Brother who no matter what will always be under his wing.
Ra was dead before Tim woke up the next morning.
When he did he found Dick Grayson sleeping chair facing the door escrima sticks in hand waiting.
He made the mistake once of letting Tim fly by himself.
Never again will his Robin walk alone.
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I love that kaz's revenge kind of... fails. I really love that he doesn't quite get a satisfying revenge on rollins, and I've always thought that was... well, the point. I said more about the specific scene with pekka here but like. it IS a turning point for kaz, it's just not the one he wanted. kaz gets about three narrative warnings/pieces of foreshadowing that it's not going to go how he wants it to go, but he really doesn't heed them until it's too late.
the first is the broken leg from the heist on the bank that helped pekka scam them; while its main narrative purpose is that it's the source of kaz's disability ofc (which feeds into his personal arc and his dynamic with wylan), and it exists outside of the pekka stuff, it arguably has a secondary purpose as the first in a series of 'don't pursue this, it's going to hurt' warnings, which he ignores.
the second warning comes when kaz lets pekka out at hellgate for personal score settling reasons, wastes time and fucks up the plan, and then starts a big domino effect where rollins turns the dregs on him, teams up with van eck, and hires dunyasha to attack inej.
(there are lots of other mini-nods to kaz absolutely refusing to let go of what happened and it informing everything he does; making nina give muzzen fake firepox, the fake pandemic, his interest in fifth harbour being implied to be because that's where he crawled out of the harbour, his dynamics with jesper and wylan, the body boats taking everyone out of the city, etc, but these are the big slip-ups)
the third strike feeds from that; the sweet reef sugar silo job is an almost perfect copy of the second stage of rollins' scam on jordie and kaz; sugar stock prices being driven up due to scarcity. it going so horribly wrong (because pekka anticipated it, of course he did, he made it up) and almost getting inej killed by dunyasha is a final warning to kaz to, effectively, let go or be dragged. if he carries on living in the past like this, he's going to lose his new family, not just his old one.
I think pekka's inability to remember jordie's name was more crushing than kaz admitted to himself, at least on the page; "it was a start" feels almost defeated after all that, and it lacks closure. kaz only gets one more point of view chapter (iirc?) one which feels quite reticent (it's the council of tides one and it's quite short) and he's quite quiet for the rest of the book, at least until the last inej chapter. he gets probably the cruellest wake-up call he could have been given. he doesn't get what he wants, and he'll never get it, because rollins still can't remember jordie's name by the end of the novel. it's time to move on. to his credit, he does it; he does what he always does, which is rise to a challenge. half of kaz's appeal lies in his ability to do that, no matter how hard the task, but it's a hard bandage to rip off.
unfortunately he does not really let go until he's being dragged, when his idea of what his confrontation with pekka should be like, crumbles in the face of pekka just not being able to remember jordie's name, no matter what kaz does. kaz is dragged to the precipice and told, look– here's inej, here's rollins. choose. and that's when he finally has to let go and start doing things for the future and inej, not the past and rollins and jordie. (remember that bit when he's drowning in SOC and he tries to think of revenge, and he can only think of inej instead? he always knew what he was going to pick, really).
he gets rollins out of ketterdam, but it's definitely hollow, in my estimation; the one thing kaz wanted him to remember, and he couldn't, because it wasn't important to him like it was to kaz. there's one final nod to kaz making everything about what happened to him and jordie (sneaking the grisha, colm, and matthias' body out of the city via the bodyboats and 'the bodymen don't bother to rearrange them') but I think inej saying "he doesn't say goodbye. he just lets go" comes at the perfect point; up until then it wasn't true, but now, kaz has finally been forced to (somewhat) let go, having never ever done that before.
but kaz buying inej her ship and a berth at fifth harbour (where he crawled out of the harbour and vowed to start the entire revenge plot) is a nice indication that he is trying to close that part off and move forwards with her, rather than staying in the past. and I really like that it's inej who actually makes the threat against pekka's life, to make sure he stays out of ketterdam; it's hard to know if kaz told her anything that prompted that visit (if he did, I doubt it was much, and I actually suspect he didn't know she'd gone there at all) but no matter what the circumstances, it indicates that he doesn't have to go on alone anymore, and he can finally turn away from that obsession. shared burdens n that. it's not a sad ending, it's honestly a good one for both of them, but it was a pretty rough journey to get there, and he had to fail first.
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Just went to eden on sunday with a friend for the first time, it didn’t seem too hard
I’m ready to get fucking obliterated when I go there on my own this saturday (i hath collected all my wongs back)
Is eden hard by your standards
Also how the fuck do I get new cosmetics i look like a moth people keep trying to uber me around I CAN FLY ON MY OWN LEAVE ME ALONE
oh lil guy, your next step is teasing krill and flying through eden to skip 99% of the path... to then get lost oobs and very confused if you're half-awake doing it
Eden is stupid easy, but it has gained more difficulty due to the fact you now crawl... so it's far more difficult to get all the statues.(of which I do, I nearly always get still the last statue unless I'm fucking around.)
the more difficult part of eden is when you've done it so offen it feels like a chore to recollect all that winged light. that's the real horrors of eden.
but uh anyways, bud you're still a moth. You're just very independent for one. Moths are simply new players- you're going to be one for a while (until you are oddly skilled at a good portion of the sky mechanics imo, but also doing eden first time alone is a major milestone).
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