Ok so, I'm here to humbly request some Mullendowski from your amazing writing (I miss them so much)
Btw, bless your inability to keep it short <3
(Fun fact: I was nervous to ask and for some reason, I started typing in Spanish (?????? )
Hello my dear Nana <333
first of all thank you so much for your request 😘 and I'm so so so so horribly terribly sorry to be so late to answer it. I had my first session of exams for my theater school last week and the repetitions took all my time, and I was so unsatisfied of I had done for your little fanfic that I had to try to make better but i failed so... I just count on your understanding and your kindness.
As a compensation for being so late, I have decided to write you two little stories (that can be related if you want or not if you don't want). Also, somehow I'm unable to write anything that isn't sad this month (it must be the fall vibes) so...
Oh if you'd like, go for Spanish, i can't talk well but I understand, so if it's easier for you, I won't mind, at all : )
First story is inspired by the song El Perdedor by Enrique Iglesias so the tittle is... Los Perdedores
Qué más quieres de mí
Si el pasado está a prueba de tu amor
Y no tengo el valor
De escapar para siempre del dolor
Demasiado pedir
Que sigamos en esta hipocresía
Cuánto tiempo más podré vivir
En la misma mentira
One morning Thomas had read on internet news saying that Robert Lewandowski was considering leaving Bayern and he had laugh at these ridiculous rumors. He had laugh like that every day for months until, even him, couldn’t laugh about it anymore and fear, a terrible, dreadful fear sized his heart, the fear to lose something that perhaps, in the end, he never had.
Why would Lewy want to leave? Weren’t things great the way they were? Yes, that elimination against Villareal was a shame but… but Robert was still the best striker in Europe, and Thomas made sure that it was the case, and wasn’t that enough? What else should he has done to prevent this? What a terrible question was that, a question no one should ever asked themselves.
All those years, didn’t they carry any weight in Robert’s heart? Thomas had thought… How stupid was that? He had thought that with time the Polish player had got attached to Bayern… to him? But apparently all this didn’t stand a chance against… against what? More money? No, Robert wasn’t like that. Against the hope to finally win this stupid Ballon d’Or? Perhaps… probably… Against Lewy’s dream to still play at forty years old, something easier to do in a less intense league than the Bundesliga? Maybe that dreams weight much more than memories after all.
No, no vayas presumiendo, no
Que me has robado el corazón
Y no me queda nada más
Sí, prefiero ser el perdedor
Que te lo ha dado todo
Y no me queda nada más
No me queda nada más
At Bayern, the last game of the season his supposed to be a time for joy and celebration, the pinnacle of a successful season but today in the stadium the atmosphere is gloomy. No one talks about it but everyone knows. Thomas didn’t leaved Manuel’s side because he needed the strength of the goalkeeper calming presence. Next to them Robert was walking towards the stands. His face was livid but his expression determined. He waved at the fans and his eyes teared up and he stayed there for longs minutes, crying, a hand placed both on his heart and on the Bayern crest.
“If you care about all this, then why are you leaving !!!” Thomas was screaming these words again and again in his head, pinching his lips together to prevent himself from crying and from saying this out loud and then the pain became unbearable and he had to leave. How ironic it was! Robert was the one staying with the team, staying in the stadium, staying with the fans and Thomas was the one running away.
As soon as he was out of sight the Bavarian player started to run to hide himself in the darkest most recluse place of the stadium. There he let out a terrible, desperate, passionate scream - a scream closed to the one Achille let out when he heard the news of Patroclus death- and after this supreme effort all strength seemed to leave his body and Thomas collapsed on the floor, weeping. All the muscles in his body were tense, from his toes to his face which was deformed by the pain, making it hard for him to breathe. He was clenching his right hand on the air around his chest in a vain attempt to ease the pain of his heart. Memories, reproofs, pleas, imprecations, regrets or prayers… all these thoughts were whirling in his head. In that moment he was willing to offer everything, even his dear world cup trophy, to make Robert stay.
Ya no puedo seguir
Resistiendo esa extraña sensación
Que me hiela la piel
Como invierno fuera de estación
Tú mirada y la mía
Ignorándose en una lejanía
Todo pierde sentido
Y es mejor el vacío que el olvido
But Thomas was strong, and after this beak down he promised himself to have more control over his feelings. The next when Robert saluted the crowd from the balcony of the city hall, he remained stoic, as cool as the statues next to him. The rest of the time he laughed and danced and screamed and told jokes as loudly and expressively as always, even more probably, to hide the fact that his heart was so cold that no amount of May’s sun could warm it up. He even found the courage to trifle a little bit with Robert and, as a joke, he offered to his teammate to take a photo of him with the Bundesliga trophy. The Polish man accepted all smile and Thomas asked himself if all this was just acting, like it was for him, or if Lewy was really leaving with a light heart. The simple fact that this supposition could exist was so hurtful and enraging that Thomas chased this thought quickly in order to keep his composure.
The Marienplatz ceremony ended both too soon and too late for the Bavarian’s taste, torn that he was between his desire to spend as much time as possible with Robert and the exhausting weight that the striker’s presence was for him.
After two hours of partying to celebrate the league title during the banquet of the team, Thomas was quite drunk, using alcohol to empty his mind and to hide his pain. It had worked for some time but now that his mental barriers were weakened by the liquor thoughts and memories field his mind again. Lewy was dancing in the middle of the crowd, more handsome than ever. Things always appear the nicest to us when we’re about to lose them, no? After a long moment of contemplation, Thomas got up and with an unsteady walk he moved through the crowd, bumping in a few persons on his way, is eyes fixed on his goal. At that moment Robert looked at him, their eyes met and for an instant they stared at each other. ‘Such incredibly beautiful eyes’ thought Thomas ‘as beautiful as the sky in winter”. But, soon his teammate looked away, the German player tried to reach him but instead he tripped on his own legs and his arms grabbed nothing but air. Robert was walking away and Thomas would have fell on the floor if not for Serge catching him.
Yo prefiero dejarte partir
Que ser tu prisionero
Y no vayas por ahí
Diciendo ser la dueña de mis sentimientos
“Leave! Leave!!! Who wants you to stay anyway?! You’re just a selfish prick! I hate you !!!” Thomas had screamed with all his strength but Robert was already too far and the music was too loud or else he knew that, if his Polish teammate had heard him, this would have been the beginning of a fight between them. Perhaps that he would have preferred that, perhaps that it would have been better that this feeling of being invisible.
Thomas sized the first bottle of alcohol he could find, he took a large mouthful of it and then - addressing his speech to all the persons around him- he declared with a solemn tone and drunken voice: “You know what? I can play without him. I played without him for years, I won the greatest trophies of my careers without it. I can live without him, I lived the happiest years of my life without him. I don’t need him on the pitch or in my life! Plus, he is not that good, is he? Mario would have scored as much has him if the all team had played for him like we do. There is nothing special about him !!”
No, no vayas presumiendo, no
Que me has robado el corazón
Y no me queda nada más
Sí, prefiero ser el perdedor
Que te lo ha dado todo
Y no me queda nada más
At that moment Thomas had believed in what he was saying but it didn’t last for long and the next morning he had to admit to himself that all this was a lie.
During one month he lived with the fear that this disastrous night may turn out be the last time he would see Robert as his teammate. The news in the press were more and more pessimistic, the relationship between the Pole and the club more and more tense.
"I want the one who has been my offensive partner for years to continue."
This was more than what Thomas has ever dared to say in the press when one of his teammates was leaving, even for Bastian, but it was also so far from what he really wanted to say.
The night after this interview Thomas had written this message on his phone: ‘Would this change something if I tell you that I need you? That I love you. And that I could do everything for you.” The message was never sent.
A few weeks later, the news was official, Robert was leaving Bayern for Barcelona.
One last training session and everything was going to be over. They all behaved extremely well that day. Robert was all smile but not too much either, witty and charming like he knew how to be and everything went really well. Thomas didn’t even cry, he had passed that point, he was just looking at Lewy hugging each player of the Bayern’s squad one by one and, in his head, he was talking to his soon to be ex-teammate saying the things that he could never say out loud: “I gave you all I had to give, I gave you everything I could give to someone. I changed the way I play for you, I changed the way I use my qualities to help you more, to make you shine more. But all this wasn’t entirely altruism, I wanted you to depends on me Iike I depended on you, I wanted to become essential to you, I wanted to create a special bond with you. I gave you everything and I don’t regret it, even now, because this is what it is to love, it’s to give without expecting anything in return.”
¿Qué más quieres de mí?
Si he pasado esa prueba de tu amor.
Lewy has fallen in love with Thomas the very first day they met and yet it took him years to realize it. Knowing very way that those feelings could never bring anything good to him he fought against them. In desperation, he tried to leave Bayern but the fear of not seeing Thomas every day turned out to be greater than his fear of suffering. Four years later, it was the opposite, his heart was burned, devoured by repressed and unrequired feelings and both his mind and his body were exhausted of this situation. Leaving Bayern was the hardest decision he had ever made and the hardest to execute but it was necessary.
And the second story tittle is: Delusion and Disappointment and it's inspired by what happened after the Bayern-Leipzig game in 2020.
I'm sorry at the time I didn't knew how to register screen and to use it to make gifs so I only have those blurry pictures to show you the situation.
It was a hard match, probably an interesting game for a neutral spectator but for Robert it had been half and an hour of nightmare. He hated matches like this, those matches that would remind him of how useless he could be. They haven’t even lost but this 3-3 draw felt like a defeat to him. He was exhausted, he had fought against Upamecano and Konaté for the all game, without success. He just had one single opportunity and of course he has missed it, but not only was he unable to score or even to create chances for himself, but he was also unable to bring anything to the team, on the long balls he had lost all his aerial duels against the two Leipzig’s defenders and when he had gone to the midfield, in order to finally have a chance to touch the ball, he had been unable to turn around and make a forward pass because of the opponent’s pressing. His all body was hurting because of all the blows he has taken. As a football player that was something normal, they all play with pain here and there, this is something you have to get used to, and at the end of each game new pains appear in your body and you have to deal with them for the rest of the week. But that day it was a bit different, the Leipzig’s players hadn’t been soft with him and the euphoria of the victory wasn’t there to ease the pang.
Robert with his pride, was determine not to show to the opponent that they had succeed in hurting him (both physically and mentally), so he was walking slowly but firmly and steadily towards the referees to shake their hands, just like usual. Around him the other players were talking together or exchanging a few words with the Leipzig’s players and trainers.
From the corner of his eyes he caught sight of Thomas encouraging and congratulating Jamal. His German teammate seemed as full of energy as always. For a second, Robert asked himself how it was possible. A traitorous voice in his head answered him: “He has scored a brace, him” but Robert disagreed, Thomas was not like him, he cared about the team first and his statistics secondly, him scoring wouldn’t be enough to make him forget the disappointment of a Bayern bad game. No, his teammate was either stronger than him mentally or he was hiding his feelings, not by pride like him, but because he probably considered that it was his duty to cheer up the rest of the team.
Sometimes he wondered about who would be there to cheer up Thomas when the young man needs it, and sometimes he would also hope to be that person, which was ridiculous because he was so bad at comforting people. When his father died, several times, he had caught his mother crying alone in her kitchen, he had wanted to go to her and to speak to her but each time he had always been stopped by the same questions: What should I say? What should I do? What if I do something wrong and I make it worse? And instead of moving he had stayed where he was and watched her for long, long minutes.
Robert extended his arm to shake the sideline referee’s hand, not feeling like saying anything and he was about to move on to the next person when he was suddenly stopped by someone grabbing him from behind and putting his arms around him, there was a strange mix of strength -almost of roughness- and softness in this gesture, just enough to annihilate all ambiguity and he knew immediately who it was: Thomas.
He would never, for anything in the world, show it or worst admit it but he was glad and grateful. For the briefest instant, for less than a fraction of second, he let his body melt in the embrace and then it was over, he wouldn’t be guilty of any other moment of weakness. Thomas almost let his chin rest on Robert’s shoulder to talk to him, but for some reason he didn’t went all the way. “You’re so stupid, Robert! Your vision is so limited that you’re not even considering that we have scored two of our goals thanks to you, are you? Of course not. Think a little about that pass between Upamecano’s legs, think about the way you have created space for me on the header and stop feeling sorry for yourself!”
If anyone else in the team had talked to him like that, Lewy would have probably told them to leave him alone in a rather brutal way but Thomas had some privileges.
However, Robert was determined to remain impassive – at least externally-, while his teammate was talking, so he offered his hand to the central referee, exactly as if Thomas wasn’t here. But his teammate was the not the kind of person to be deter by so little. He circled Robert, his harm sliding around the Polish man’s torso and then resting on his stomach. Now they were standing face to face. Thomas’ stubbornness was Robert’s greatest delight and greatest torture.
Lewy immediately looked away, concentrating all his attention on the central referee. Robert then had the impression to hear his teammate sighing briefly but he convinced himself that it was in his imagination. Thomas placed his right hand on the striker’s neck, a familiar gesture between them. From time to time, during all these years they have played together, the German player would do that to him, sometimes to tease him, sometimes to encourage him, sometimes with no reason. There was nothing intimate, nothing tender in this gesture and yet there was something frighteningly pleasing in the sensation of this large, strong, slightly calloused hand on the soft skin of his neck. Frightening because it would be so easy to let himself melt in it, to let himself be hold by someone else like that and lose control.
It only lasted for a brief moment and then Thomas let go of him and started walking past him, saying: “Take care of yourself it’s not good to stay in pain.”. Robert refrained himself from smiling. “Of course, he knew, thought the polish player, of course… Thomas always knew when something was wrong with him”. Perhaps that he was too easily readable or perhaps that his teammate was too good at that. There was just one thing that Thomas would never see or understand about him because Robert himself had decided not to see or understand it.
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Fanfic Masterlist
So, some of you probably have known that I write fics (mostly Arsenal and Germany NT), and therefore I’m just going to use this space to shamelessly promote my own fanfic. New ones will be added accordingly.
So, enjoy! (or not)
--
Series of Oneshots
passing the limits of your senses. germany nt. supernatural au.
tastes like sunshine. steno. marc-andré thirsts for bernd’s blood.
promises you whisper between your teeth. philipp lahm/per mertesacker. what happened behind closed doors.
just plain vanilla. neuller. manuel’s blood is tasteless but thomas loves it anyway.
when being normal is underrated. schweinski. bastian wishes to have a superpower and lukas wishes to be normal.
the grand sorcerer and the apprentice. miroslav klose & manuel neuer. manuel can’t deceive miro to save his life.
firsts. germany nt (gen), minor steno, hömmels and götzeus. the players tell the stories about the first time they manifested their powers.
red lights. arsenal fc. supernatural au.
the distance between you and me. onesided!bernd leno/lucas torreira, minor steno. lucas falls in love with a tall, blonde, glove-wearing german in his new club.
running to neverland. onesided!mikel arteta/robin van persie. mikel and robin talks about the latter’s transfer to man united.
a peculiar introduction. lucas torreira & shkodran mustafi. lucas learns how musti utilizes his power.
the dark side of defeat. bernd leno, héctor bellerín, pierre-emerick aubameyang, and mikel arteta. the aftermath of man city vs arsenal game.
into your bloody trap. gabriel martinelli/bukayo saka. bukayo figured out about gabi's ability.
not as easy as magic. lucas torreira & héctor bellerín. the tale behind lucas’ insta-story.
war and peace. mesut ozil/arsenal, minor samisut. mesut might not be allowed to play, but that doesn't mean he couldn't help his team in his own way.
not just a phase. héctor bellerín & kieran tierney. kieran calls héctor in the middle of the night.
the wolf of colney street. héctor bellerín/dani ceballos, onesided!héctor bellerín/kieran tierney. kieran finds a wolf in arsenal’s dressing room.
divine intervention. arsenal fc/gen. lucas' obsession with magic gets a little too much and bernd stages an intervention.
rebel just for you. robcal. an unfair decision from the ref and rob's rage kinda throw calum off-balance.
(im)probable coincidence. arsenal fc/gen, bernd leno-centered. there are disadvantages of being a super.
chasing starlights. fc bayern münchen. supernatural au.
end of a day. manuel neuer-centered. a background story behind bayern's win against psg in the ucl final.
we found love right where we are. arsenal fc. valentine's day fluff. what the couples in arsenal do during valentine's day.
Multi-chapter/Multi-part fics
the sweetest temptation. hömmels. supernatural au. mats is a seducer and benni is somewhere between misunderstanding and denial.
even if my body goes up in flames (i’ll save you anyway). bravertz. supernatural au. kai havertz can see the details of someone’s death.
in weakness and in strength. steno. supernatural au. three things bernd learns after he starts dating a vampire.
in this white frozen world. steno. future au. bernd leno goes on loan to real madrid.
spellbound. neuller. supernatural au. throughout all the frenzies that are football, transfers, blood and magic spells, they fall in love.
countless reasons. steno. supernatural au, future au. marc transfers to chelsea and moves in with bernd.
One-shot
two points. héctor bellerín & bernd leno, minor steno. supernatural au. héctor reflects about being a wizard, supernatural life, and bernd leno.
cold as ice. jerome boateng/robert lewandowski. supernatural au. jerome takes too long in the bathroom so robert pranks/punishes him.
you're my fortress, shield, savior, armor. alexander nübel/niklas süle. supernatural au. niklas defends on and off the pitch, and alex enjoys it.
love at second sight. hector bellerin/multiple. supernatural au. five times hector got into some "complications" and one time he found his true choice.
love scenario. kieran tierney/martin odegaard. supernatural au. kieran wishes to stay away from love. his plans fall apart when he meets martin.
-
And oh, if you guys are interested in reading my old fics in livejournal and asianfanfics, feel free to do so I guess, though I have to warn you they’re shitty af.
Happy reading! :)
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Moody - Robert Lewandowski
Who: Robert Lewandowski
Request: Hey there! I just saw your new prompts and was ecstatic to see Lewa on your list! So, can I have whichever's available of 2, 13, and 17 with him? Have a lovely day 💐
Prompt #17: Moody
Requested by: @nyctophilic0vitnir
Warnings: none
A/N: prompt number 17 was still available, so I wrote that one
The whole team immediately knew Robert’s mood was far below zero today. From the moment he arrived at Bayern's training centre for that morning’s team meeting, he wasn’t his usual self. Where he usually greeted everyone with a big smile and a joke, they were now only greeted with a sullen, “morning.”
Robert slumped down in a chair in the club's meeting room. He folded his arms across his chest and remained silent.
“You alright, Lewy?” Manuel raised an eyebrow at him.
“No, it’s not my day today,” Robert grumbled.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in such a bad mood before.” Benjamin sat down next to Robert.
“I’m treating you to a first, then,” Robert grunted back. Benjamin laughed quietly at the reply.
“And what exactly is causing this mood?” Manuel asked carefully.
“My wife was up sick most of the night, I haven’t slept much, I have a headache,” Robert summed up, “do you need me to go on?”
“Yeah, that’s tough,” Benjamin agreed.
"And, don't get me wrong, I'm happy to care for my wife when she's sick, but it means a broken night and apparently I don't do those that well anymore." Robert passed a hand over his tired face.
"Is she at least feeling better?" Benjamin enquired.
"Yeah, she's doing better, thanks," Robert nodded, "probably something she ate."
“Well, luckily for you, boss is doing a presentation today,” Manuel announced cheerily, “all you have to do, is sit and listen.”
Robert yawned and settled a little lower in his chair. “Sounds fantastic.”
Tags: @glam-khal, @evie-pr, @gryffinwars, @auawdo, @meteora-fc, @de-geas, @stonesyyyy, @drizzyreese, @hbstre, @soccerfanfiction, @sternennebel2001, @celessence
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Click here for more of my Robert Lewandowski imagines.
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