#rob them blind

[drmajalis]

If you have been thinking of modding your 3ds, DO NOT UPDATE IT.

It's likely that the homebrew team will break this new level of security in a few months, but, goddamn it really shows how much Nintendo spites their own players to mod a system they don't even support anymore to make it harder to play games AFTER shutting down the eshop.

Fuck Nintendo, pirate all of their games, don't give them a fucking cent.

[goldfish-afterhours]

ROB THEM BLIND

“You don’t need to lower your expectations. You just need more money.”

Summary: Welcome to New Liyue, where the bank is the church and money is the religion. Cash is the lifeblood of this society, and there is nothing that money cannot buy.

Here, people strike rich or die trying. And in the case of the Guili Assembly, the most infamous bank robbery crew in the country, this certainly rings true. Even in the face of armed guards, they’re not afraid to rob the most secure banks dry.

But what exactly are they risking their lives for? What are they planning on doing with such a ridiculous amount of money?

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[dafukdidiwatch]

I'm salty that these guys and the Jaegars can't fancy party

But I'm glad they're having their own fun

[toesuckler]

worlds worst best siblings ever <3

[feroluce]

Not pictured: Aventurine asking Ratio if he remembers where they parked

[starry-bi-sky]

DPXDC Idea: Mother of Monsters Dan(yal)

Specifically Fem!Dan because I made this in mind with my Fem Danyal Au bUT. The best part about Dan is that I get to play dress up with her, and Fem Dark Dany is gonna go by Layal (pronounced lae-el) because it means "the nights" and it sounds similar to Danyal, and I think she'd choose that name to mock Dany. ANYWAYS

Mother of Monsters Danyal. She may be evil but she's an Al Ghul at her core (even with vlad's soul merged with hers - however, considering that Layal looks and sounds like Dany, she considers that soul to be the more dominant one.) and loves animals. And she might be heartless, but she adores the monsters of the infinite realms.

Mother of Monsters Layal who hates everyone but utterly dotes and adores on every manner of beast she comes across. Stealing the eggs and infant young beasts of the Infinite Realms to raise as her own because she wanted them. Her own island full of monsters, a monstrous menagerie of her own. She steals most often from poachers or exotic pet keepers and other menageries -- the full grown beasties can keep their young.

And with every monster she raises, she can shapeshift their features onto herself, allowing her to change her shape from humanish to any matter of monster or hybrid creature. She calls herself their mother, and them her children. Her precious little babies, capable of incredible mass destruction and mayhem.

From little griffins the size of kittens, to stymphalian vulture chicks, and leviathan young hatching from eggs the size of her pinkie, to creatures native of the ghost zone that didn't even have names in the living realm. There really wasn't a limit to what or who she would take in and she didn't limit herself to any form of mythology. If they were beasts and they were unwanted, she wanted them. And as such, amassed her own mini army of "children" willing to listen to her any command.

Earth doesn't know what hit it when she attacks them.

There are many monstrous forms she could take on, the first one I've thought of is a combination of various serpentine/reptilian features. The body of a naga -- her lower half long and serpentine, her upper still human -- with spiked fins connecting from the bottom of her arms to her sides, ever seen Sinbad where Eris goes "you might have seen my likeness on the temple walls" and her arms do that fin thingy? Same concept. Her hands are webbed and taloned, perfect for slicing through the skin of the living, and her teeth are needle-sharp and shark like. Her hair can either be spiny and feathery-like like the spines of a lionfish, or frilled like a frilled-neck lizard. It's perfect for dealing and doting on her reptilian and amphibian-inclined darlings.

I'm more of a fan of aus where Dan is a sibling of Danny's rather than their kid, so Layal's redemption(..?? probation?) proceeds with her legally becoming Danyal's "twin" sister, who had been lost to the foster system before the Fentons adopted Dany, and was only recently reunited with her. The two of them look so alike that the lie is easy to take root and spread.

Layal is very indignant to the fact that she's now ten years in the past and has to restart her menagerie all over again. Do you know how much blood and sweat went into raising those children? How dare you separate them from their mummy. Although she'll admit she does miss their juvenile years, so she won't mind (too much) needing to raising them again. Dany is helping her retrieve all of them though, dammit.

long story short: epic the musical's "Scylla" has a CHOKEHOLD on me and this is the result of it

Unlike her Dan counterpart, Layal's voice is dancing and sirenic. It's purposely alluring and motherly, in order to lure people into a false sense of security until she feeds them to her "children." Echidna doesn't have shit on her. She almost seems friendly and reasonable, until you get too close and realize it was all an act and she drops it to metaphorically swallow you whole. She's like an anglerfish that way. She and Dany both sound like Scylla from Epic.

[beanghostprincess]

I want Lucci to fight the World Government to protect Kaku

Me too,,, Me too,,, There is just something about making Lucci actually, genuinely care about Kaku to the point of facing the thing he has been fighting for in the face and betray it to save Kaku,,, It was an unexpected turn of events in the manga and I am SO happy there is something going on there now.

[legionofpotatoes]

We started a new co-op campaign so I finally made myself a dino-tav. Her name is Gertie

[bespectacled-bookwyrm]

Colress: Um, Grim? W-why are you pretending we're all chummy with Ghetsis?

Grimsley: We need money.

Colress: So you’re scamming him?

Grimsley: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him.

Colress: *who is VERY aware of what the Shadow Triad and Ghetsis are capable of* What? No way.

Grimsley: Why not? We already stole his puppet king.

N: Hi, new uncles.

Colress: No, we didn't. N is a bright young man - he can do whatever he wants.

N: I wanna steal.

Colress: *mortified gasp*

Grimsley: *cackles*

[foreverfandomobsessed]

I'm 100% the crew is going to send the kids a back-to-set list for when they go back to vancouver to start filming season 2

[eebie]

least favourite animal?

mosquitos are the answer that most people go for so i’ll say the proboscis monkeys. those things are freaks!!! have you seen the photos of them. there’s a reason that they’re usually cropped to be above waist-level ….. it’s funny but i dislike tjem because i found this out at school with several people looking over my shoulder at my screen

[goldfish-afterhours]

ROB THEM BLIND - TWO

— Home // Genshin Impact Bank Robbery AU

“Mind your step. We’re here,” Xiao said.

The blindfold fell from Lumine’s eyes, and she squinted, her eyes adjusting back to the sunlight streaming through the half-opened windows. 

When you think of bank robbers, you would usually think they would be rolling in cash. There would be briefcases upon briefcases stacked in the corner with dollar bills, golden statues, priceless art, the latest gadgets and toys. And for the Guili Assembly, the most well-known and successful bank robbery gang in all of New Liyue, they should be able to afford all the luxuries that money can buy with the way they robbed the highest security banks dry. 

But as Lumine looked around the run-down site that could perhaps be called an apartment by a cheap businessman who loves health code violations, she could only wonder how the most infamous bank robbers could be living like this. The paint on the walls was peeling off, and water stains splotched the ceiling. An old dusty couch sat in the corner of the main room with a flickering television set that looked at least thirty years out of date. A boy with dark hair was sitting on the couch, clearly having been watching TV before something more interesting strolled through the front door. 

���Home sweet home!” Itto exclaimed, running inside. 

“I wonder if dinner’s ready yet?” Ajax stretched leisurely, as if he had just come home from a regular office job and not from committing a felony. 

How pitiful…Lumine thought, and it must have been written all over her face, because Xiao let out a cough. “This isn’t our real base. No one with a brain would bring a stranger there,” he explained, but with the way an embarrassed blush coloured his face, Lumine had a hard time believing him. 

But she wasn’t in the mood to piss off anyone yet, not when she’s already come as far as visiting their base without getting her head blown off. So she just nodded. “Ah…of course,” she said pleasantly. 

“Welcome back, you three!” a man with fluffy blond hair popped his head out from the next room, a big smile on his face. A pink apron was tied around his neck, and he was holding a spatula, wet with oil on its blade. “Oh, who’s this?”

“We were wonderin’ what took you guys so long. Thought you got caught by the police or something, but it looks like you guys caught one yourself.” The boy got up from the dusty couch. He walked over to them with an air of arrogance as he looked down at Lumine through large dark eyes. “Welcome to the demon’s den, little girl. Regret playing hero yet?” He threw his arm around her shoulder, smirking. 

Lumine pushed his arm off of her. “I’m not a police officer, and I wasn’t playing hero. I’m here to talk with your boss.” It was hard for her to keep from smiling in satisfaction at the boy’s surprised expression. Unfortunately, he quickly recovered. 

“And what makes you think our boss would want to talk to someone like you?” he scoffed. “The pockets of that jacket better be filled with cash if you think—”

“Hush, Kunikuzushi.” A soft, low voice from behind made the hairs on the back of Lumine’s neck stand up. She whipped around, but suddenly jerked to a stop when she felt something familiarly cold and metal press against her temple. 

“No sudden movements, girlie,” Ajax said breezily. “We’re all a little jumpy here.” 

Lumine felt sweat dripping down her back and her heart pounding in her ears, but it wasn’t because of the gun against her head. 

No, it was because she did not hear the door open, did not hear any footsteps, did not even feel the air move around her. This person, this man, was able to avoid even Lumine’s attention, the most sensitive person to sounds and presences she knew? 

Who the hell is this guy?

“Stand down, Ajax,” the man behind her said. “She’s unarmed.”

“As if that ever stopped anyone,” Ajax responded, but he immediately lowered his arm to his side. Though he did not put it back in the holster around his thigh. 

Slowly, just in case someone thought she was a threat again, Lumine turned around. The man behind her was tall, with long brown hair tied in a low ponytail at the base of his neck. He had eyes the same colour as sunsets, and though he wasn’t smiling, there was a softness in his face that took her back even more than the elegant tailcoat he donned. This man looked more like a financial consultant or a bank manager than a robber. 

“What is your name, brave one?” he asked. His voice was low and melodious, as if he could be reciting a poem. 

“...Lumine.”

“It is nice to meet you, Miss Lumine. Shall we go to my office? It seems we have something to discuss.” The man gestured around the corner. 

Without looking at the other men, Lumine followed him. It led down a narrow hallway, much longer than she expected for what had originally seemed like a cramped one-bedroom apartment. Another hallway broke off to their left, with what looked like a bathroom on the other end. The one they were walking through eventually ended at a row of doors, and Lumine followed him inside the last door at the end of the hall. 

The leader of the Guili Assembly did not have a luxurious executive desk, nor did he have fancy furs covering the dents in the floorboards. Instead, a low wicker table sat in the middle of the room. There was no chair, but a pillow was placed behind the table. Perhaps the most expensive part of his office could be the floor to ceiling bookcases filled to the brim with books and scrolls. Even then, Lumine found it to be run-of-the-mill. 

The man gestured at the single pillow. “Have a seat,” he said. 

“No thank you, I prefer to stand.”

“If you are more comfortable to do so, then I will not insist. So,” the man folded his hands behind his back. “I do believe there is something you would like to discuss with me.”

Lumine swallowed a lump in her throat. Despite his mellow appearance, the hair on the back of her neck was standing up. His face expression was relaxed and mild, but something about the way he looked down at her through amber slits made Lumine want to dash right out the door.

They were the eyes of a dragon looking down at its prey. 

“...You owe me.” She had to keep her voice from trembling. “At the bank. I was just about to rob it when your group broke in.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “I see. I offer you our humblest apologies. But surely you did not follow my men for an apology, did you,” he said. It did not sound like a question, and he clearly did not mean it as one. 

“No, I didn’t.”

“Then you must be looking for monetary reparations.”

“I don’t want your money. I want to join your group.” 

The man’s amber eyes widened in surprise. Lumine could see the thoughts swimming behind his pupils. He stared at her, unblinking, and for a moment she felt like she was going to be swallowed whole by those amber slits. 

“Interesting.” The corner of his mouth twitched. “And for what reason are you selling your soul for money?” 

Lumine clenched her fists. “...My brother. He’s been missing for years, but no one has seen or heard of him. It’s like he vanished into thin air. I need money so I can find him. All the money I can get my hands on.” 

He studied her face, and Lumine stared right back, determined to not back down. 

Finally, he turned to one of the bookshelves and pulled a piece of parchment and pen from one. He elegantly sat down at the wicker table. With grace befitting a musician plucking a guzheng, he wrote on the parchment with a flourish. 

“Here you are,” the man said, drawing the last period before setting the pen down. 

“This is…?”

“A contract.” He turned the paper around so it was the right orientation for Lumine to read. “You will become one of us, a member of the Guili Assembly. You will earn a percentage of everything we obtain, regardless of how much or little you participate during the heist. In exchange, you must assist us in our endeavours, as well as never betray us.” 

Lumine squinted her eyes at the dignified characters on the page. She expected flat-out rejection to her request, a physical test at best. She did not expect a contract, as if being a bank robber required a legal contractual agreement. 

“What happens if I break the agreement?” she asked. 

“Then you can expect a visit to court in the future, who will certainly levy a hefty fine. But I’m sure that would be an inconvenience to both of us,” he answered charmingly. 

That doesn’t help at all, Lumine thought. Still, she picked up the pen and signed her name at the bottom of the page. She spun it back around to face the man, and he leaned forwards to sign his name. 

Zhongli.

“Well, Miss Lumine, I formally welcome you to the Guili Assembly.” Zhongli held out a gloved hand to her, and she shook it. 

“Thanks. Looking forward to working with you, I guess,” she said. 

“I will introduce you to the rest of the group. But first—” Zhongli pointed a finger at Lumine’s torso. “I believe you have something in here of interest.” 

Did he notice my gun? The alarm bells started ringing in her head as he pointed. But then she realized he wasn’t pointing at the holster around her waist, but the pocket of her jacket. 

She reached into her jacket and pulled out a blue charm. 

“Ah, there we are. Would you mind giving that to me? I’m sure Ajax will cease his moodiness once it’s returned to him,” Zhongli said pleasantly. 

This guy could be a big problem, Lumine thought. Still, she achieved her goal—she’s been welcomed to the Guili Assembly. The largest hurdle is over. 

She put the blue charm in his open palm, hoping he couldn’t hear how fast her heart was racing through it. 

[sarellathesphinx]

Constantly torn between genuinely loving the remake timeline’s depiction of Reeve and Cait and being immensely sad that pretty much all of my favorite lines of theirs from the original were totally excised or bc of plot developments will never be said

[steelwoolcardigan]

Just some self canon stuff once more

*My Tav donates to the refugees, then plays them a song.*

Gale: How considerate of you!

Astarion: Ugh, why do you have to be so nice?

Wyll: Perhaps we could give them some more supplies.

Lae'zel: tsk'va!

Karlach: You're awesome soldier!

Shadowheart: You're bleeding heart will be the end of us.

*Tav proceeding to pickpocket the shit out of everyone afterwards. Even innocent bystanders.*

(partial) Rest then repeat

[feroluce]

So I went to the wiki page for the henghill Bullet & Brain mission of 2.2 looking for some dialogue I had missed and

a) I found something incredibly tasty that slotted into some other thoughts I'd been having, more on that on another day, and

b) I saw this super fun little trivia at the bottom, which!

I knew Penacony characters like Boothill took a lot of inspirations from old movies, but I didn't realize it was even in his and Dan Heng's relationship, that's so cool!!

It fits them very well, it's such a fun reference. "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" was an old buddy Western film (from 1969- nice) about a pair of outlaws. Butch Cassidy was the leader of a gang, and described as clever, affable, and talkative. Meanwhile, his closest companion, the Sundance Kid, was known as a man of few words.

Cassidy's original birth name was much more plain, but similar to Boothill, he took on a new moniker when he became an outlaw. "Cassidy" had been the last name of his beloved mentor, who taught him how to shoot and ride. And Sundance Kid was known as he was because Sundance was the name of his hometown, and it was the only place that had ever managed to catch and jail him, back when he'd been younger (also similar to Dan Heng, but ouch).

These two stick together like glue throughout the length of the film- through Cassidy's leadership of the gang being challenged, through a train robbery gone wrong, through being pursued by mercenaries, and even through fleeing to Bolivia and trying to start over together.

I don't want to say too much more, since the mission title is referencing one specific movie that I've never seen. I kinda wanna watch it now, though, just to see the inspiration that went into Boothill and Dan Heng and how they get along. I just think it's really sweet that these two were literally made to be the best of bros, how lovely is that. 💕

[lowkeyfalleninlove]

I WAS READING THE SCRIPT FOR MALEFICENT AND IM SORRY?? THIS IS HIGHWAY ROBBERY?? NO WONDER THE ACTORS THOUGHT THEY’D BE TOGETHER LIKE????