#rn she's not with me

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[eightofpents]

I'd be perfectly willing to just chalk this up to dumb animation.

But it's more fun to say it's canon that Nathalie's the sort of person who jumps small fences and such with no regard for social mores.

[lazylittledragon]

i need guenhwyvar to be Cat so bad

[ribbittrobbit]

these kids are incredibly stressed out

[opikiquu]

[midoristeashop]

don’t even THINK of going thru my 2023 drawings of her they’re all embarrassing,,,

Anyway w the amount of protein intake + axe throwing + training she does,,, buff Astrid,,,

[t4t4t]

Hi !

I got bottom surgery on July 25th :3

I'm recovering well but I'll be on bedrest for a while. Collie and I will need rent help for September/food/gas/utilities/etc. Two disabled trans women. Anything helps ! Thank yall so much for all you've helped so far, it's saved my life ❤️

https://venmo.com/u/nora-esther-rose

https://www.paypal.me/NoraEstherRose

https://venmo.com/u/Leah-Esther-Rose

https://www.paypal.me/androgynophore

[batsnipp]

kristen applebees is MY president

[breakbleheavens]

TAYLOR SWIFT performs WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME? for the first time ▸ The Eras Tour — Paris, France (Night 1) | May 9, 2024

[juricore]

toxic yuri this toxic yuri that. and just when you think it couldnt get any crazier they break out the spinning piano

[marskid11]

I've been looking at this screenshot of right before their lips touch and I think I'm gonna die

[taitavva]

body swap

[obsob]

love is stored in the parallel play

[fox-guardian]

starting to feel like part of the reason that Sam and Celia's romance thing feels a little off rn is cuz like. what do you mean they're actually dating. he asked her on a date and she said yes. and it's working out so far. it's chill and fine. what do you mean they're not pining for 4 seasons, not communicating, and then getting together only after one of them walked through hell to drag the other out and make sure they know they're loved and wanted. they haven't even patched each other's wounds yet hello. aren't y'all moving a little fast.

[cptnwynnie]

Pop quiz! What do you do when you come home and find a kid in your office who is actually an alternate version of your best friend from another universe who has somehow ended up here via vague hand-wavey undefined circumstances?

[lazylittledragon]

ok i’ve got shadowlach wedding on the brain again and i’ve been cooking a Thought

you know how people will jokingly send wedding invites to royalty/celebrities and sometimes they actually show up

karlach would 100% invite drizzt do’urden to her wedding