#rip to phoenix's fics

[jlf23tumble]

hi jen, i dunno of youve done this before but do you know any great bottom!harry fics where Harry is a virgin? Like fetus!Larry days kinda thing. Kinda stuck on how to write 'lost of virginity' backstory for the fic I'm writing 😅. Hope its okayyy

It's ALWAYS okay, and I've definitely done one before, but I'll be damned if I can find it, plus you have an interest (probably related to that new video) that's more canon-y, so fuck it, we'll do it live! As ever, the big caveat is that the best of the best of this genre have been deleted, but the following baker's dozen should give you the flavor, even if some of them are only in the realm, so to speak:

give it to me like i want it, orphan_account, 1.4k

Sonic Sounds, orphan_account, 5k

Tigers Play Too Rough, blaaake, 5.9k

Tight Trouser Troubles, orphan_account, 6.4k

You Don't Need Me to Show the Way, loadedgunn, 6.5k

gets me overwhelmed, crybaby, 7.3k

someday you're going to realise, dontletmedown, 10k

give you my fever, beautlouis, 10k (IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE)

into another (another) serotonin overflow, mercutionotromeo, 11k

A Slow and Steady Rush, godots, 11k

turn you on, make you radiate, ballsdeepinjesus, 15k

knock knock, i love you, beautlouis, 86k

One More Time Again, orphan_account, 232k

[boop-le-snoot]

If the Valar have 1 hater, it is I. If the Valar have 0 haters, I have died and my spirit has been banished to the Void. If the Valar have 10 haters, I have cloned myself ten times over.

[missathlete31]

Left Behind Chapter 3

Masterlist to find other chapters: Here

Chapter 2 is here

Chapter Summary- The Funeral for Lt. Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin

Warnings- obviously a lot of angst in this chapter. Although Jake is still alive, the team doesn’t know this and so this chapter is when they hold the funeral for their fallen friend and teammate

I hope I did the scene justice

The remains believed to be Lieutenant Jake “Hangman” Seresin arrived at the docks of Miramar in the middle of the night and during a torrential rain storm. The disembarkment was immediately halted and Admiral Simpson ordered a guarded watch on the casket until conditions improved. The crew of the carrier all opted to remain onboard as a show of respect, while the Dagger Squad remained at Top Gun waiting for the clouds to clear enough for their teammate to come home.

Javy Machado eventually reached his limit though, his need for his brother to be back on land and in the closest place to a home he ever had winning out as he begged Cyclone to reconsider. Javy also couldn’t bear the thought of Jake being alone in the bowels of a ship for even a second longer, Jake deserved better.

So at half past two in the morning, in the pouring rain Javy stood at attention, his arm raised unwavering in a salute as six men carried the casket bearing what was believed to be Hangman down across the docks. The other Daggers all joined Coyote, standing in line and with respect to their fallen comrade. Not one of them brushed the rain out of their faces; instead they used it to hide their own tears that fell just as quickly.

When the casket was parallel to their group, Javy took a step forward, walking out of his post to come closer to the flag-draped coffin. He reached a shaky hand out, clutching weakly at the sodden fabric and felt his sobs shudder through his body. He stood there for a long while, the progression waiting for his cue, not a sound across the area despite the horrid conditions.

Finally, Javy pulled back and nodded at the leader, who clicked his heels and started the march once more towards the hangars. Coyote stumbled backward, his body at a loss as his heart felt decimated in his chest. Before he could fall though, strong arms gripped him, Payback taking one side while Omaha grabbed the other, his Dagger Family supporting Javy from all sides as he crumbled into tears.

The funeral was set for two days after, in the same cemetery that Admiral Kazanksy had been laid to rest. Captain Mitchell had gone pale when Coyote informed his Commanding Officers of his decision for Jake to be buried close to North Island but the older man didn’t argue, just gripped his Lieutenant’s arm tightly as they talked over logistics.

Due to the high priority mission that Hangman had been shot down attempting, the higher ups in the Navy had all been informed and were stated to attend. Admiral Simpson informed Coyote that even the Secretary of the Navy had confirmed his attendance for the event. Unfortunately the man was a family friend of John Seresin, Jake’s father, who had made quite a name for himself in Washington Politics as an oil lobbyist. The Naval Secretary had of course offered his condolences to the entire Seresin family when he stated his intention of going leading to John and his wife Corrine to find out the details of their son’s untimely demise. Despite the fact that they had all but disowned their son when he chose to enlist as a means to get out of the cold and abusive house they created, the Seresins were going to the funeral. As the old adage went, never let a good tragedy go to waste, and John Seresin knew that the death of his son could be the perfect stepping stone for his own aspirations of political office. The Texas Governor primary was only a few short months away.

Javy might have punched a wall in Admiral Simpson’s office when he found out Jake’s parents were coming.

Which was followed by Maverick punching a different wall when Javy explained the horrible abuse Jake suffered by their hands growing up.

Admirals Simpson and Bates were also upset, though they managed to keep their fists from going through anymore drywall. However if a few privates and administrators happened to hear Beau screaming in insubordination to Admiral Cain about sitting the Seresins in the front row, they all managed to keep it to themselves. Besides, Cyclone lost that battle before he even tried.

Javy wanted to be mad, wanted to scream and shout and cry and punch until the wound that had developed in his heart by the loss of his best friend stopped aching so desperately. He wanted Jake’s parents as far away from the funeral as humanly possible but yet he also wanted them right there, right in front so they could see the man their son was. The heroic and strong soldier, the ace pilot, the unbelievable friend; the man they should have loved and been proud of but instead they sneered at and tried to destroy.

The funeral was still by his design, despite the added attendees, and all Coyote really wanted was to speak on his friend’s behalf. Just like on the carrier that day when he fought over the debrief, Javy wanted to fight for the fallen pilot now, to show everyone the true Jake Seresin, the one that so very few people got the privilege to really see.

Cyclone of course agreed and so on the day of Hangman’s funeral, as the warm California sun hung high in the crisp blue sky, Javy stood in his dress whites and went to the podium. He was a horrible public speaker in school but at this moment his hands didn’t shake. He strode up there with purpose and with as much composure as someone in this sort of situation could manage. Javy squared himself as he set his papers in order, taking a glance at the crowd watching him. It was a good group, not the level that Admiral Kazanksy had gotten of course but it was still heartwarming to see the people who had come out. Every Dagger was there, and every Vigilante too, all the Cos standing tall and proud and even a surprising number of civilians. Penny Benjamin was there to pay her respects, her daughter at her side, each with weighty looks of grief for the loss. Javy’s own family came out in droves; the years of Jake attending all holidays with the Machados making them feel the loss as profoundly as Javy himself. Corrine and John sat in the front row, next to the Secretary of the Navy, the two parents wearing sunglasses to hide the fact that they had yet to shed even the slightest tear. Their son’s portrait hung right in front of them, Jake looking like the All-American hero that he was and yet neither could even bother to spare a second glance.

Javy didn’t let it deter him, instead he used it to fuel his speech even more.

“All of you here have come to pay your respect to Jake Seresin, but I’m sorry to say, I’m not sure if you all really knew Jake Seresin.” He looked up, expecting some looks from his words, a small feeling of vindication coming to him when he saw John Seresin squirm just the tiniest bit. “There were many faces to Jake, many different shows, all of them a part of him, but none the whole story. There was Hangman, the pilot, the best of the best, that’s the one most of you saw, the one he let the world see the most.” Javy huffed out a breath, “Hangman was Jake’s mask, the stone cold, heartless aviator that could swoop in and get the job done without breaking a sweat. Somehow that version of Jake became known for leaving his wingman behind. ‘Hangman leaving everyone hangin’” Coyote looked over to Phoenix, could see the young woman’s lip trembling with silent sobs, “I would ask Jake if it bothered him, that his call-sign was so purely insulting but he would always shake his head. ‘Let them say what they want Coyote’ he would tell me, ‘I’ll prove it to them in the end.’” Coyote sniffed back a sob, tears welling a bit in his eyes as he turned to the portrait of his best friend, “you showed ‘em man” he told the picture of Jake’s graduation photo, his green eyes wide, his hair perfectly coiffed and his smile just on the cusp of staying professional without looking too much like the cocky smirk he preferred. “Hangman was meant to be in the sky” Javy informed the group of people before him, “he was meant to be a pilot and he knew it. I wish that I could be as sure at anything as Jake was that the Navy was where he belonged. He excelled at it, in a way that was just unheard of. His skills were the best I’ve ever seen,” Coyote closed his eyes and pictured the times he got to fly with Jake in training, before the suicide mission and the pressure, when it was just Jake and Javy doing what they loved, “he devoured everything he could on planes and flying and the math and science of it all. He studied constantly, not just manuals but the mission logs of the men he admired most” Javy’s eyes roamed to Maverick. Pete was watching stoically, a twitch in his jaw betraying his emotions, though he stood straight and at attention. “Jake served his country faithfully, bravely, and heroically for over twelve years. He had countless deployments, endured things that would have broken lesser men and women but yet he never faltered.” Coyote sighed, “Jake took a life during one of his assignments, the first confirmed air to air kill in three decades. The Navy celebrated him, his team celebrated him, Hangman celebrated himself but Jake, the Jake he was afraid to let you all see” Javy shook his head, “he hated himself for it.” He looked over to the Dagger and Vigilante teams, all faced forward in respect but Coyote could tell they were all listening. “Jake was human, surprisingly so under all that cocky personality, and it killed him to take that life no matter what the circumstances.” He huffed weakly, “he’d kill me for telling you all this too but he cried all night that night after it happened, called me halfway through and I could barely understand him.” Javy motioned to his mother, Dorinda who was sobbing into Javy’s father handkerchief, “He even called my mother just to have that maternal figure to beg forgiveness from” there was a visible shudder from Corrine Seresin. “But Jake never needed to ask for forgiveness, not from us. He needed it from himself for the nightmares that plagued him for years after, that still plagued him, all the way until the end.”

Javy took a step back for a moment, flipping the page and taking a breather, his eyes avoiding the flag covered coffin and still staying on his best friend’s photo; the way he would always remember Jake, not a scorched body in a wooden box. Javy closed his eyes and tried to stay composed as his heart lurched thinking of Jake’s final moments. But he couldn’t lose it, not now, he still had more to say.

“Jake was not perfect” Coyote offered, “although if he was next to me he would probably have already grabbed the microphone to inform you that ‘yes in fact, he is perfect, in all things in fact’” Javy felt a little renewed at the wet chuckles from some of his teammates, “but Jake Seresin was stubborn, like a damn donkey. You couldn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to, believe me, 12 years of trying to get the guy to let me win one round of darts is the biggest proof of that.” The laughs sounded again, “And he was hardheaded; his three concussions alone can tell you. He pushed constantly, and not always in the right ways but it was for good reasons, I can assure you.” He looked up in the sky, “Jake wanted the best out of everyone around him because he believed that was the only way he himself could get better. He pushed you all” Javy looked to Jake’s former teammates, “and I know he pushed your buttons. I know there were times you wanted to punch him in his perfect teeth, some of you even did” he winked at Rooster, Phoenix, Omaha and Fritz, the latter two giving watery yet knowing nods back at him. “Hell I even punched him too one time when he mocked my landing after a long day. But you know what he did after? He got some ice for his blackening eye and then brought over the chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that he told me I couldn’t touch even though it was both of our favorites and he let me eat the whole thing. He never apologized for what he said,” Javy shook his head, “Hangman was not good at that, but he showed me that it wasn’t coming from a place of malice, just the need to make us all better. And that next day before we took off, he mentioned a few things he wanted to work on in his own landings, things he wanted to clean up-“ Coyote smiled to the group, “they were the things I needed to work on. Jake made it so we worked on it together.” The man at the podium scoffed fondly, “still felt good to get that punch in though, and seeing him with a black eye for a week did make me feel better, even if he got more attention from women when we went out because of it.”

As a few more laughs died away, Coyote looked down. There was one page left of his speech, the hardest page and Javy just closed his eyes for a moment and channeled his best friend’s strength. “I can’t say a lot about the mission that took Jake Seresin from this world. It was classified but let me assure you that what Jake and the rest of the team accomplished that day was nothing short of miraculous and we all should thank them for what they were able to achieved. Jake was shot down protecting a teammate” Javy’s eyes were still on his paper but he could hear the sudden sob of Rooster from a few feet away. Coyote knew if he looked up he wouldn’t be able to continue so he kept his head down and soldiered on. “He took a missile that would have killed a friend and it resulted in his own death.” The tears were falling now from the man’s face but he didn’t wipe them, “it hurts losing Jake like that” he told the crowd, “but it’s not surprising because it is exactly the way that Jake would have wanted to go.” Javy nodded to himself, willing his voice to stay steady, “for someone that was so cocky, and seemingly so full of himself, Jake had very little self-worth. I know that in his final moments he believed his life was not worth as much as his friends.” Coyote sobbed into his hand, which had started to tremble slightly as his emotions got the better of him. He dropped his head, cursing himself for failing to get through his whole speech when he felt a hand on his back. “You can do this” Captain Mitchell whispered softly, rubbing his hand comfortingly across the man’s spine, “you can.”

Javy shook his head, still not looking up, “no-“

“Yes,” Maverick insisted, surprisingly strong despite his own voice cracking slightly, “do it for Jake. Do it for your wingman.”

Coyote scrunched up his eyes and dipped his head a bit lower, thinking of his best friend; of all the times Jake was there for him, on early morning workouts pushing Javy to go a little bit further, up in the sky when he got Coyote to go just a bit faster, when he stayed with Javy and the rest of the Machados’ after the loss of Javy’s oldest sister, holding his best friend as he sobbed and being the strength that Javy couldn’t muster at the moment. Jake pushed him out of his comfort zone time and time again and it was only fitting that he would still manage it now, at his own damn funeral. Sighing out a long breath, Javy raised his head again, and powered on. “Jake was better than he thought he was, he deserved so much better. But even despite all that he still defied every expectation. I have never been more proud of him, my brother, than in his final moments. I want to end my speech today with some words from Jake himself“ Javy’s voice hitched as he unfolded an additional tinier piece of paper as carefully as possible, the writing a neat script that Maverick could see belonged to the deceased pilot. Javy cleared his throat, “the night before the mission Jake wrote letters for all of you.” He looked over to his teammates, “I apologize that it took me so long to be strong enough to go through his things to find them but I will give them to you after, so that you can hold a piece of him with you all as well.” Javy looked back down, “my letter, it-“ he sniffed, “it’s exactly how I would imagine Jake’s goodbye letter would be. I won’t read you all of it but there are some parting words I think you all need to hear to remember the real Jake Seresin by” he lifted the paper, afraid that if he kept it laying on the podium his tears might wet and ruin his best friend’s handwriting. “He said, ’I hope that if the worst has happened to me” Coyote began emotionally, “’that at least the rest of the team is okay. I’m sorry Javy, but I told you if the team leader spot is mine, I’m making sure they all get home, no matter what the cost. I hope you can forgive me-‘” the man started to sob again, Maverick griping his arm now to steady him. “’But they have more to give than this, more to give this world. You have to tell them to be the best of the best, goddamn it’” Javy wiped at his eyes, “’the tip of the sword, the pride of the Navy. Flying with them has been the biggest privilege of my life. I’m a better pilot, a better man, because of each and every one of them.’” Coyote looked to the Daggers, all of them openly crying, clutching each other in support as they listened to their fallen comrade’s words. “’I hope my final moments made them proud, that I made up for all the moments I failed them or let them down. I hope I made you proud too Javy, and your family. I could never thank you all enough for saving me all those years ago and showing me that family goes far beyond blood.’” The Machado contingent cried out louder, the entire distinguished Naval funeral collapsing into an emotional display of grief but Javy didn’t care. Jake deserved to see how much he was loved and Javy knew somewhere, wherever he was, Jake could see it. “Jake ended his letter asking for only one thing” the man told his audience, “he said, ‘If it’s not too much Javy, I wish that you and the others can think of me sometimes, just a couple of times as the years go on, so I’m not completely forgotten from this world. I didn’t do much but I hope I made a difference enough to you all that when you think of me it will be fondly. Please don’t remember me as Hangman but just as Jake. I might not have been a big part of all your lives but you meant the world to me’.” Javy lowered the paper carefully, and sobbed out a breath, “I will think of Jake everyday” he told the crowd, “and I hope you will too. And not Hangman like he said, but the real Jake Seresin, the man who loved his team and loved his country. The best man I ever knew.”

Javy left the podium with the help of Maverick, earning a hug from the man before being completely enveloped by his mother, father and abuela. When he finally got past his own family, Javy stood back with the Daggers, Halo reaching to clutch his hand and Bob, squeezing his bicep warmly on the other side. He felt pats on his back from some of the others but Javy kept his head straight watching as the flag folding ceremony took place as taps played out across the cemetery.

It was a somber experience, and he shed more than a few tears but there was no embarrassment, not there when so many of the bravest and most professional people Javy knew were just as emotional. Admiral Simpson even wiped his eyes discreetly a few times, while Admiral Bates was more open with his. Maverick left the tears to rundown his face with no shame, his grief palpable to all those in attendance.

After the flag was folded properly and the Corpsman moved to hand it to Javy, Jake’s mother started to cry, “My baby” she whimpered loudly, startling the solemn procession, “my baby boy.” Corrine shifted over to Lieutenant Machado with narrowed eyes, “you’re taking my baby’s flag” she accused, “he was my son, I should get it.”

Perhaps because he had Jake’s dog tags around his neck, or that somehow the coffin still didn’t seem real to him but Javy just inclined his head gently, motioning for the flag to continue down the line to Jake’s parents. He felt hands around him, it seemed both Admiral Simpson and Maverick were ready to stop this and bring the flag back to Javy as Jake’s wishes dictated but Coyote just waved them off. He was too tired all of a sudden and somehow he knew that Jake wouldn’t have minded, after all even he could never fully hate his mother and father.

As Mrs. Seresin clutched her flag and her husband held on to her, Javy did his final duty for his friend. He walked up to the coffin and stood at attention for a moment before removing the wings on his chest. He placed them gently on the wood before he raised a fist and smashed them into the casket, to be with Jake forever. Javy knew he was meant to walk away then, to get back to his spot in line but he took one last moment, one last touch to the wooden box holding his friend. Something in his heart ached the minute he made contact but it wasn’t grief, it was different, something he couldn’t explain. He had spent the whole funeral avoiding looking at the coffin because he didn’t think he was strong enough but now he thought it might be something different. It all just didn’t seem real.

Javy was startled out of his stupor as the flyover began, moving back to his spot in line with the others as the missing man formation flew over their heads. Javy’s eyes couldn’t stop staring at the lone plane that flew off the other way, the significance not lost as he questioned whether Jake was indeed fallen or just a missing man.

[rendevok]

fandom ask!!! 6 9 and 17 w/whatever character ((: also just wanted to let u know how much i've grown with ur art lol, i was a big caejose enjoyer and when i started getting into my aa phase i looked back at ur art and saw all the narumitsu stuff and was like hell yeah!!

Omg how fun! I love being able to see works from familiar creators when i explore new fandoms, I’m glad i could be that for you hehe ^^

6. Show us a bit of a WIP!

Since you got me feeling nostalgic, have this caejose wip that i love even if i may never finish it! (Werewolf/vampire au!)

9. Write a recommendation of someone else’s fic you enjoyed!

(tgcf incoming…)

tremble (for my beloved) by yilingcatriarch - there are no words better to describe this than “The Eming Fic”, and the reason it’s what i want to recommend out of the many many fics i’ve loved is because i read it like a week ago and i genuinely cannot stop thinking about it. Such a fun, sweet, and original concept & execution. I really enjoyed it! So- easy to read and easy to love! I really hope the author might consider writing a sequel someday, but truthfully it’s perfect as is!

17. What’s a book, movie, or show you think [character] would like?

OHOHOHOHOO OK SO!! (7yg narumitsu + trucy, no one is surprised atp)

I have a bit of a headcanon surrounding it, but i think that Phoenix, Trucy, and Miles would enjoy watching Perry Mason together to try and see who can figure out the truth/true criminal first! (Bonus points bc! MASON + 7YG!!) The hc is that they would habitually watch an episode or two at the end of the day, and compete see who ends up with the highest accuracy rate. This show has just enough niche/antiquated culture knowledge (Miles), random character motive bs (Phoenix), and “guy who was on screen but nobody noticed” (Trucy) for it to be a relatively fair competition between the three of them. Trucy definitely wins out in the end though, by a small but reasonable margin.

[abrthephantomq]

Miles ragging on The Plumed Punisher: Warrior of Neo Twilight Realm show and calling it an outrage -- especially its theme song?

Fuck I love him. I love him so fucking much lololol. Like Miles, my man, my beloved, it's a children's show. Your passion for it ripping off the Steel Samurai is incredible. There needs to be fanfic about him going on a rant about it online, somewhere.

[l0vergirlsw0rld]

ravish

hitchhiker!readerxperv!loganhowlett

a/n: i recycled this old fic and made it a logan one yay! this was written the day after i watched once upon a time in Hollywood in theaters, clearly. haven't written smut in so long ;_;

wc: 2.4k

NSFW

18+ MDNI | age gap,oral sex, masturbation and sexual themes

summary: Y/N was at a festival last night and needs to hit the road again to go on her next adventure. she hitches a drive with someone who might just be that.

au: 1970's

You squirmed as your now blistered bare feet stood on the sizzling hot concrete.

Your arm was out, holding a thumbs up, hoping that one of the roadside drivers pull over and give you a lift. The leather backpack you were wearing was so hot it began to burn your lower back; summers in Phoenix, Arizona were practically unbearable. 

The air was dry and dusty; the back of your throat ached for a gulp of water. You had been dehydrated since you had woken up this morning.

You had gone to one of the biggest parties you had ever seen. You hardly knew anyone, and that was the joy of it; You met people from all over the States, Canada even people from Europe.

You had consumed lots of drugs and fun drinks during the night, all given to you by generous strangers.

You had lost your shoes sometime during the night, but that didn’t stop you from dancing to the music that filled your ears. Guitar strums resonated throughout the field, each chord amplified by the psychedelics you’d taken, making you feel the music deep in your bones.

Lighters were held high, illuminating the dark field. It felt like you were one with everyone in the stars.

This morning, you woke up in the middle of a flower field.

The blazing sun had pierced your vision, ripping through the haze from the pollen white flowers. Multiple ants covered your sugary drink. Disgusted, you tossed it to the side, got up and walked to the nearest busy street, which was farther than you had anticipated.

You were dressed in your crochet crop top and cut-off jean shorts from last night. Your wrists were decked in various friendship bracelets that you had received during the night, an odd custom for a party, but now you had keepsakes. You smiled, remembering the connections you had made.

Cars sped by, giving you somewhat of a  'refreshing breeze' to withstand the scorching heat of today. 

Your arm began to prickle, and the pounding headache of a hangover formed in your temples. You sighed impatiently as you tapped your foot on the ground.

I don't even care who picks me up, just get me out of here,

You thought.

Your stomach growled with hunger, you had only consumed liquid in the past 14 hours.

You observed the people in the cars that passed by you:

Well-dressed women who deliberately ignored your presence.

Families in full cars, with fathers who noticed your needy figure but quickly averted their eyes, conscious of their wives in the passenger seat.

Young men, young women.

New, inexperienced drivers

As you began to lose hope, a dodge challenger pulled over in front of you.

Cracking a smile, you skipped to the passenger window. The unknown man leaned over the console and rolled down the window.

"Whereabouts are you headed?" You asked, propping your elbows on the edge of his piping hot car. "I'm headed through Tucson, then El Paso." He spoke. 

The truth was, you didn't care about where you were going, you just wanted to go somewhere else. You had been hopping from state to state for the whole summer now, and you weren't going to stop.

You were young, wild, and free. 

"Perfect." You grinned and opened the door cheekily.

You sat down, propping your practically black feet up on the dash nonchalantly. The man just grunted and steered the car back onto the road.

You observed him quietly. 

The first thing you noticed was his height; he barely fit in the small car seats. His large hand wrapped effortlessly around the steering wheel, knuckles still marked with dried blood—evidence of a fight from the night before.

He had a tanned complexion, with dark hair that looked soft to the touch. His broad, muscular shoulders nearly brushed against you, and you caught a faint scent of cologne mixed with whiskey and woody cigars.

He wore a white tank top beneath a flannel, paired with worn work jeans. A pair of tinted aviators rested on the bridge of his angular nose, and his work boots, as dirty as your own feet, pressed down on the gas pedal.

 "What do you do for a living?" You continued eyeing him.

The man snorted. 

"I do all sorts of things. Mostly any job with tools." He replied. 

"So, a handyman?" You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. 

"You could call me that." He rasped.

"So, is that why you're going to El Paso? To work?" The car stopped at a red light.  The man reached into the glove compartment in front of you, his arm hair brushing against your thigh as he grabbed a box of cigars.

"You're a smart kid." He mumbled as he stuffed a cigar between his lips. He lit the end and took a drag;

"And you're running away from home," He offered you a cigar.

"Uh-no, I'm just on a solo adventure." You took a cigar from the box.

He lit the end with a swipe of his thumb and you inhaled; a dry scratchy feeling in your throat made you erupt in a coughing fit, trying to catch your breath.

The man found this amusing, his eyes crinkled as he grinned.

"If you don't smoke, kid, don't start now." He pulled the cigar from your lips and placed it in his mouth, where it joined the one he was already smoking. Now, two cigars jutted out from the side of his mouth.

"Jesus, you don't need to out-smoke me, I think you already did that." You crossed your arms with a huff.

"You're too innocent for smokes anyway...Also too innocent to wear whatever you have on now. It ain't covering much." He practically scolded, tightening his grip on the wheel.

Your cheeks flushed a bright pink.

"If it bothers you so much, stop checking me out, then." You rolled your eyes.

"Don't need to when it's all in your face. Can see your whole stomach and half of your ass is hanging out." He flung one of the cigars outside. 

"Perv." You looked out your window.

The man swallowed hard and stayed quiet, driving behind the other vehicles.

You picked up on his silence.

"Oh, you didn't like that did you?" You continued. 

He ignored you as you re-drew your attention to him, he stayed focused on the road in front of him.

You grinned.

This was amusing, you had a man about 20 years older than you all flustered because you caught him checking you out. You were probably his fantasy; young college girl age, petite, adventurous, non-commital. Compared to uptight, old fuller marital women of his age. 

The truth was, you've always liked older men but never attempted to be with one outside of your fantasies.

It was common for younger women to be coupled with older men, but the men from your town were distasteful, not like this man who was sitting next to you. 

You turned around in your seat and laid down to where your head was on his lap, and your feet were sitting on the passenger side door.

"What're you doin' kid?" He grumbled looking down at your face from the wheel.

"You want me to suck your dick don't you?" You met his eyes.

He scoffed and turned his attention to the road again.

"How old are ya'?" He took a drag.

"Pfft, I'm old enough." You replied.

He hummed in acknowledgement.

"Guess how old?" You added. 

"Early-twenties." He blew smoke out the window, cherry wood.

He guessed correctly. A devious smile curled at your lips.

"You sure know your young women pretty well, sir." You chuckled at your own joke.

The man took the hand that held the cigar and cupped your face roughly pressing his thumb on your lips, shutting you up. His cigar burned centimetres away from your face, a faint heat could be felt from the lit tip and the smoke drifted in your nostrils, the smell was intoxicating.

"Don't say things like that." He grumbled. You bit his calloused thumb seductively, giving it a soft suck which earned a raspy "fuck" from the man. 

"What's your name anyway?" He removed his thumb from your mouth placing the hand on the steering wheel. He squirmed slightly in the seat, readjusting his hips, and your head moved with him. He was getting harder by the minute.

"It's Y/N. You?" 

"Y/N?" He tasted your name on his lips. "-Logan." He growled, in a husky voice.

Your hands drifted down to your shorts, and you unbuttoned them. His eyes darted to your hands, and you felt his chest expand against your head as he took a deep breath.

You pulled them under your hips and let them bunch at your ankles. You spread your knees apart, exposing your clothed goods. You were wearing a light blue thong.

"You want to feel?" You lightly stroked your legs, prompting him to go the same.

Logan took one last drag of his cigar and threw it out the window, like the first one; his right hand was now free.

Instead of taking up your offer, he just returned his hand to the wheel, ignoring you.

"Fine then," You whined.

You pulled the fabric to the side, revealing your now wet folds.

You began to play with yourself, slowly. Rubbing supple, soft circles on your clit. Quiet moans escaped your lips as you built a rhythm. You knew where it felt good, you weren't new to touching yourself.

You turned your head to the side, facing Logan's shirt, you inhaled his scent and let out another moan.

Logan let out a low grumble from his chest and lowered his hand onto yours.

He guided your hand to insert your fingers inside of you. You let out a surprised whimper as he worked your hand to fuck yourself.

"Mh- I want- ah- your fingers, not mine- ah-" You managed between thrusts.

He removed your hand from your core and lifted it to his face, he inhaled deeply before mumbling another fuck.

"Taste yourself." He commanded as he brought your fingers to your mouth.

You complied, inserting your index and middle finger as deep in your mouth as possible, looking up at him while doing so. He watched you while biting his lip.

His hand snaked under your crop top, lifting it, exposing your breasts.

"Fuck sake," He breathed out after seeing what was underneath.

"Can't do this here." He jerked the wheel aggressively to the side, pushing you further into him.

He had pulled the car into an off-road wooded clearing a few miles away from the city; of course, it didn't take long for him to get there, he had gunned it the whole way; after all, he had more pressing matters to take care of.

You.

The both of you had made your way into the back seat of the car, your knees hung over his bulky shoulders, his face buried deep between your legs.

You were completely naked and he was fully dressed aside from the flannel that was discarded moments ago.

You gripped fist fulls of his hair as he lapped at your sensitive spot. Logan loved eating you out, your taste was sweet and your smell was intoxicating. Your wetness dripped off his chin as he sucked on your clit, sending you to another dimension entirely. He was skilled with his tongue, he knew how to keep a steady rhythm and when to switch it up. He groaned against you, savouring every second he had with you.

Logan had never been with such a pretty young thing like you before, he couldn't get enough.

He pressed his thick calloused index finger at your entrance while still using his tongue. Slowly, he pumped it deeper and deeper inside you, eventually reaching his knuckle. You moaned into your hand, trying to muffle the noise you were making. The two points of stimulation were too much.

You were already approaching your orgasm; Your hips bucked against his jaw and hand as you escalated gradually to meet that sweet release.

"Logan ah- I'm gonna cum" You exclaimed tightening your grip on his hair. This was the motivation for him to go even harder. He caught his breath against you between his thrusts. Pushing back against your clenching thighs and dove deeper, licking long fat strokes on your swollen clit. His coarse facial hair rubs against your skin, causing a slight burning sensation. Your knees shook as he picked his pace and enveloped your sensitive bud between his lips, sucking hungrily and giving it a slight bite.

Logan groaned as he heard your moan of surprise, you didn't know you like that. But he did.

You felt the pressure begin to pool out as your head tilted back with a loud moan:

Your fingertips and toes began to tingle.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

Your back arched instinctively.

Logan sent you over the edge, you fell in shambles of moans and whimpers as he slowly helped you ride out your orgasm.

"That's it sweetheart, good girl." He murmured with his mouth full of you as you caught your breath.

He slowly lapped you clean until you began to feel sensitive. Logan pulled back and looked at you hungrily as he licked your cum off his lips.

"You really like doing that don't you?" You asked breathless.

He snuck his hand down to your slick and now swollen pussy, using his fingers to spread you open. He observes it in awe as if he hadn't spent the last few minutes with his face right up there.

"It's... pretty...n' soft." He mumbled under his breath. Logan ducks down and places a long kiss right on the sensitive area, breathing you in once more.

You flushed a bright pink, embarrassed. You had never had a guy ravish you like this.

"Your turn, let's switch," You said propping yourself up on your elbows.

Logan chuckled."Nah, kid, we gotta hit the road." He tugged on his pants to relieve the pressure of his hard-on against the denim.

"But you-" You start but Logan cuts you off by pulling you in for a hungry kiss. His hand tangled in your hair as he pressed you to him, sucking your bottom lip between his teeth and biting. You moan in his mouth again and he pulls away with a smirk.

"Later," He grits, pocketing your panties. "Get dressed," He spanks your ass and gets out the back seat.

"Yes sir," You excitedly find your clothes.

i feel like logan loves to eat out, oops :)

->-> click here for part 2 <-<-

->->click here for part 3<-<-

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[midnightdevotion]

Not Real (1)

Hi Guys!! I mentioned writing this fic back in august??? anyways sorry for taking so long. I'm trying to have more balance with my creative hobbies and do them more regularly.

Description: Hangman, ever elusive and avoiding commitment finally finds the one. Except she doesn't think love is real anymore. Part 1

Warnings: Depression, Reader loses themselves, Slow burn, and I do use y/n so sue me ig

Pairing: Jake Seresin x female Reader

Readers POV

It's an uncharacteristically rainy day in Southern California. You heave a small sigh at the ever lasting grey clouds. To be completely honest, your life has felt like an everlasting grey cloud recently.

Heart broken one too many times, seemed to take the color out of life. You were someone who looked at fuzzy bumble bee's and grinned. Who felt the wind blow against her skin and let it relax any tension.

Now it was like nothing but grey existed in your mind. You didn't know how to escape the hallow shell you have turned into. It felt like the person you were is so far gone and yet you still vividly remember every thing. Every thing you loved about the version of you, you just can't seem to reach any more.

The easy laughter no longer came, the yellow sunshine your personality was described as now ashes and dull. The worst part of all of it was nobody noticed.

Nobody put together how your entire world was ripped away and nobody saw how it changed you. How you could barely get through the day, crawling back into bed as soon as you get home.

These endless grey days lasted months. A good thing would happen, you got a raise, and cried to yourself later that night. It was good, why didn't anything feel good, why didn't you feel like enough anymore.

------

You could feel the change, not sure when it happened but it felt like it was so slow and then all at once. One day you couldn't imagine being happy ever again, and suddenly, one day you had your spark back.

You'd never wish on your worst enemy the 8 months you had just lived through, the thoughts that haunted you now just painful memories you can push to the side and leave behind.

You found friends you genuinely feel happy to know. Who have your back in every scenario. It started with meeting Phoenix, or rather Natasha. You first met Natasha after forcing yourself to go to the gym regularly. Hoping the endorphins that release from exercise would help your depression.

In ways they did, like the butterfly effect. You went to the gym, every day for a week and Natasha noticed. She noticed the empty eyes, and came up to you one afternoon. She introduced herself and asked if you wanted to be friends, In her exact words

"I'm sorry if this sounds weird but I work with all dudes and I genuinely need someone to talk to that doesn't rage testosterone, soooo brunch Sunday?"

And it sparked a real laugh out of you, a sound that use to be so common to you now unfamiliar to your own ears.

It's been six months since then, you and Phoenix have grow very close, She has introduces you to a few of her coworkers 'the safe few' she has dubbed them.

It was a usual Thursday night for you when you get a call from her, asking you to come to the hard deck. Which is unusual for her, she usually liked to keep her aviator life separate from her friendship with you.

It didn't bother you, her reasoning of pilots are assholes and your aversion to getting hurt again made it pretty straight forward to take her word for it.

So when you pulled up to the parking lot of the infamous bar she frequents with her navy friends. It feels a little like going into the lions den.

You roll you shoulders and sigh. An old version of you tickling the back of your mind that this is what you should be doing when you're young and single. Not moping because your heart got shattered beyond repair. Or so you believed anyways.

The loud ambiance of the bar was startling slightly, for a Thursday night the bar is packed. A sea of never ending khaki it takes you a few minutes to find your friend.

"y/n!" Rooster calls, one of the few 'safe friends' you have met. He has always been nice to you, and in fact regularly joins your girls nights.

"Hi rooster" you grin at the mustached golden retriever. Giving him a side hug, trying not to feel intimidated by the eyes on you. "nobody told me khaki was the move tonight" you laughed

Rooster shook his head grinning. "I know, it's bad isn't it" and okay it definitely isn't the look for some, but you will definitely attest that rooster and every in this area seems to pull them off well.

"oof" a grunt leaves your lips as you are suddenly hugged from the side, a slightly taller brunette almost taking you down with her on impact.

"Nat what on earth" you laugh.

"I-II knew you would c-come!" She slurred her words and her eyes looked at you unfocused. You furrow your brow and help balance her.

"uh phoenix why did you ask me to come? do you need a ride home?" there was a small part of you that was hoping she would say yes and you could leave the loud crowd, especially feeling like a sore thumb being one of the very few people in denim shorts and a tank top.

"No- No, si-silly. Hangman here said I didn't have any friends, so I bet him I did and that you would come here and prove it." you laughed because Natasha was always betting on things, especially when she gets tipsy. "he owes me fifty bucks now" she grins

"HANGMAN!!" you wince as she shouts in your left ear. You hear a slow drawl that sounds like he's somewhere from the south in reply.

"Yea yea Phe, I will get you cash tomorrow" You turn your head and notice the tall blonde man leaning against the wall. Clearly watching this whole interaction. He gives you a wide grin, one you can tell right away means he gets what he wants and has no problem breaking hearts.

"what I can't figure out is why phoenix has been hiding you all this time" his eyebrow raises when he notice you grimace, his clear attempt to be charming not impressing you.

"probably cause pilots are assholes" is your albeit maybe a little to monotoned reply. It's not that you wanted to be mean. You just had to shut down any attempt at flirting. You don't think any version of your heart could ever love again.

What you didn't expect was for him to cock his head a small smile playing on his lips.

"well Phoenix has always been smart that way" not offended that you basically called him and half the people in this bar an asshole. "I'm Jake though, or as you heard earlier, hangman"

You just nod, finally getting introductions to the rest of the group. Excluding bob and rooster, the only other pilots you had been introduced too.

Despite only being called upon to win fifty dollars (which phoenix is buying brunch for on Sunday) You found yourself enjoying the company and getting to know the people Phoenix spent most of her time with. Finally putting names to faces she has definitely complained about.

At a certain point rooster goes up to the piano, something you had heard he does before coming tonight. You exited the bar for a few minutes to breathe. Thinking about the past and how the old you would be relishing in the socialization, singing along with rooster and the others, no worried and unbroken.

"Penny for your thoughts?" you startle looking to the left and seeing hangman leaning against the wall to the bar.

"Trust me you don't want to spend a penny on those" you laugh, but it feels a little hallow.

"why not, I already spent fifty bucks to prove you existed" that laugh comes a little easier.

"why'd you do that by the way?" you question. he had to have known you were real.

"honestly because phoenix talks about you a lot, and rooster and bob started mentioning you and I was curious"

"curiosity cost the cat fifty dollars apparently" you throw a grin at him, walking out to the sand kicking your sandals to the side to feel the coldness of the sand touch your skin. You weren't surprised when he followed, you kind of expected it.

"it sure did... but I have a gut feeling it was the best money I've every spent" It makes something old and dead flutter inside you, and it scares the shit out of you.

"I don't know you ever spend fifty bucks on pizza when it's just you? cause that's some pretty good self care to me" you can't tell how he takes your evasion of his comment.

"that's pretty good too, but my gut feelings are usually right." in the past maybe heat would've rushed to your cheeks at his comment. Now though, fear rushed to your heart. You turned to look at him. No response on the tip of your tongue, and you were scared how awkward this interaction was going to get.

"well goodnight Darling, hope I see you again soon" and he smiled at you, then turned and walked to his truck. You watched as he pulled out of the parking lot, until his taillights faded. You headed back into the bar to say your goodbyes.

Later that night as you crawled into bed, mind blazing over everything that happened unexpectedly and knowing you'll be in for a tired tomorrow.

You couldn't get the thought of a certain blue eyed pilot out of you mind.

----

Jakes POV

He'd been hearing stories about you for months, Funny, sarcastic, kind, caring, every thing you could imagine in form of stories for months. At first he thought nothing of it, Phoenix having a girl friend is probably good when she deals with him everyday.

Then Bob started talking about you and funny stories with you and Phoenix. Then Rooster added into the group. It was safe to say Jake was feeling severe FOMO.

He had a plan. Get phoenix tipsy and she's pretty suggestible to anything, especially betting. So yes he planned on getting you to the bar, shamelessly flirting with Phoenix's friend and annoying Natasha the next day.

The universe had other plans, because when Jake laid eyes on you, it was like a spotlight was shining on you, he couldn't see anyone else. The bitter rage he felt at roosters hand on your side when you gave him a sheepish hug, burned hot.

So when he hit you with a flirty one liner, and you retorted, usually he wouldn't have given up. He saw it though, in your eyes, the cold dark fear. He became curious, what happened to make you so guarded, and why did he want to solve that so badly?

He sat in that bar and watched you laugh and joke, the smile never really reached your eyes though.

So Jake went home that night, focused on a new goal.

He wants to make you smile-- really smile.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

hi!! do you have any fic recommendations that is similar to song of the phoenix by graveltotempo? or just something about stiles and the nemeton being connected?

I think so!

The Walls Are Breathing In by secondstar

(7/7 I 41,879 I Explicit I Sterek)

Nothing could go wrong. It was just supposed to be a safe trip to the Nemeton. But this is Beacon Hills and things are rarely that simple. Welcome to the life of Stiles Stilinski.

Or, that time that Stiles accidentally became a sorcerer against his will.

The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades by Bittah_Wizard

(20/20 I 65,142 I Explicit I Stetopher)

"It’s funny. It is. It’s abso-fucking-lutely hilarious because this is the seventh time in a calendar year that Stiles has been on the run from a bloodthirsty monster and the thing that still trips him up—quite literally—is that he still hasn’t gotten any better at running through the woods."

An AU where everything he loves gets buried in the dirt, so Stiles rips apart the space-time continuum.

song of the phoenix by graveltotempo

(26/? I 104,409 I Teen I Sterek)

In a last ditch effort to save Beacon Hills after everyone else has died, Stiles channels all of his energy and magic into cleansing the Nemeton and the magical core of the town.

But he is more powerful than he knows, more connected to the Nemeton than anyone can guess, and a group of kids, teenagers and adults wakes up in the middle of the night ten years earlier with a second chance they didn't know they needed and a bond they don't understand.

Guardian by Lerya

(100/100 I 202,041 I Mature I Steter)

After Stiles finally realises how little he means to Scott, and how little his opinions and even his research mean to the 'true Alpha', he's had enough. With most of the original Hale pack getting away from the Hellhole that is Beacon Hills, he prepares to do the same. The extra addition wasn't planned, but most welcomed, as was an invite by the counsel.

He could do this, going around the world, helping other Supernaturals, getting to know the world, and learning about himself and the community.

Bite Me (Terms And Conditions Apply) by Morraine

(98/? I 337,609 I Not Rated I Steter)

What if Stiles had accepted Peter's offer to bite him, after all? What if there'd been actual negotiations? How would that impact the story?

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

Mother~Mother River – Short Fic

Chapter #1 - Mother-Mother River

!Not connected to Cursed Warlords Au! This shall henceforth be known as the Mother AU, for obvious reasons. Just under 8,000 words, damn I did not think it would get this long. Oh well hope y’all enjoy!

The group passes by the mother-mother river. Macaque has to fight with himself out of making a terrible decision. Wukong, however, has other plans when he hears the nature of the plan. You are oblivious to their scheming. Believing they see you as a friend.

How terribly wrong you are.

>>>>>

“Wow, what a surprise. Another… fucking RIVER!” Wukong yelled kicking his feet angrily.

Wukong stared at the damned water with anger in his red rimmed golden eyes. His golden fur was not meant to be wet, it was meant to be properly groomed, he hated when river water soaked it. He was a STONE monkey one who sank, so as soon as he saw the water of course his anger spiked. His tail snapped to the ground, a single golden band that was wrapped around it dented the ground from the strike.

He could barely believe he was still on this stupid mission. He should just go back home back to his people. There was no reason to stay-

“Wukong please calm down,” Your voice spoke up, your ever beautiful voice. The group had just gotten him to rejoin the journey and you really didn’t want him running off again.

Oh, that’s right. Wukong stared at you for a moment before huffing, you were the reason they were staying. If it hadn’t been for your damned shield than they could have simply taken you back to Flower Fruit Mountain without having to stay. It would be easy, so easy to just grab you and take you back to Flower Fruit Mountain where you could live happily and peacefully.

A slight ache in his head reminded him of the other reason that he didn’t wish to think about. The circlet had made itself very well known on his head. The dull aches it caused were annoying and honestly he wished for nothing more than to rip the thing off. However he knew that it didn’t work that way, not even close.

The feeling of warm, gentle hands rested on his head and he all but purred as you gently rubbed the edge of the band. The phoenix stone that hung from your ear, while an annoying thing was useful at times. And when you used the healing ability it had it felt absolutely heavenly. He almost whined when you took your hand away.

“You feel better?” You asked with a gentle smile.

He let out an exaggerated sigh as he followed closely behind you. You looked back to see him nod and you continued on your way. He should have just trapped you on the mountain the last time you came over. Your shield was unable to move so it wouldn’t have helped you much. Besides you would have gotten over the Monk’s death eventually. The thought crossed his mind again, it was such a lovely dream. Unfortunately one that would have to wait until he found a way to break the damned shield. A way that wouldn’t harm you anyways.

“Whatever,” He rolled his eyes slightly annoyed with his own thoughts.

Sha Wujing spoke up next, “Brother monkey, please calm down. We need to be resilient until we reach the Buddha.”

“Quite whining already,” Zhu Bajie snapped in annoyance.

Wukong just rolled his eyes again, the river demon was far too cheerful for his tastes. The only ones he enjoyed seeing that much joy on were his people, his moon and you his soon to be bride. As soon as he broke the shield and properly courtnapped you that is. Turning he was about to start ranting again when he noticed that his mate wasn’t in front of him, specifically his shadowy mate. You were in view but where did Mac go?

He looked around for a moment before finding him walking farther back from the group. This by itself wasn’t all that off but what was odd was the way Macaque was staring at the river. He was staring at it intently with a look of concentration and something else. Curious he found himself hopping backwards to meet his mate’s slow pace. His eyes still hadn’t left the water.

“Moon~ Is there something wrong?” He asked cautiously, if there was something wrong that was never a good sign. His mate could hear many things that he couldn’t possibly hear himself with only two ears. He was always first to know when there was danger around the corner. It was best to be prepared now.

“… Don’t… Don’t drink the water,” was the only thing he said. Wukong’s face scrunched in confusion but shrugged as they finally reached the bank. They were far enough back that no one else head what they said.

On the river bank the group noticed a boat. At least there was a way to cross safely. Wukong stared at it for a while but after seeing that it was a normal mortal woman who was perched in it he shrugged once again. He didn’t care to know why this woman was doing a man’s job and wasn’t going to pry. He was much more concerned with the way his Moon continued to stare at the water. His dark purple eyes were dilated and his tail lashed back and forth, while his hands were clenched into fists while he hugged his arms around himself.

The glamoured pitch black monkey kept his mouth shut. His deep purple eyes staring at the water, as his ears fanned and flicked at every small sound. The array of purple, blue and red was always a sight to see in Wukong’s correct opinion. Along with the swaying tail that flicked, the golden ring around it shining in the light of the sun.

“Does anyone need a ride?” The woman spoke up with a warm smile.

You the kind soul you were replied with an equally warm smile, “That would be greatly appreciated actually.”

Wukong examined the way that Macaque’s eyes snapped towards their soon to be bride when she spoke. The way his tail puffed up and the way his gaze snapped between the water and her. Something was up, there was something brewing through his mate’s mind and he was going to figure it out. One way or another, his mate was hiding something and he did NOT like being left in the dark.

“Moon~ Would you care to explain your nerves?” He whispered as he leaned against his mate’s ears. The three closer to Wukong twitched before lowering closer to his head. He was definitely hiding something.

The moment their eyes met when Macaque turned to look at him, Wukong knew that there was some plan forming in his head. Some sort of plan that made him both excited and desperate. What the plan was however was beyond him. Something must be special about this river and it wasn’t a demon that would attack them. Macaque would have already said it was if that’s what it was. Whatever was different about the river and the plan that was clearly forming in his mind were connected.

Whatever his plan was must be something fantastic if it was coming from his beloved Moon though. He wanted to know what was going on, his mate should let him in on what he’s planning, especially if it had him so deep in thought.

“…” He didn’t respond instead turning away again causing Wukong to frown. He must be really deep in thought to ignore his own mate.

>>><<<

Deep in thought he was. Macaque knew what the river was, what it could do. The Mother-Mother River. It was right in front of them, it was right there. All he had to do was mix some magic from him and Wukong and then… the very thought made him almost droll.

Fuck! You would look so damn cute, nice and round with their cubs. So, so cute and delicate. It would be all the more reason to take you back to Flower Fruit Mountain, where you would be safe and protected from all sides. Where you could be safe and provided for at all times. Where you could raise their cubs happily and safely. Where you couldn’t escape their grasp.

The thoughts pounded through his head. It was wrong, so so very wrong. It would be wrong to do that to you. You deserved to choose, to choose when you wanted cubs. Macaque was more than willing to wait for such a time. He was willing to wait. All he had to do was court you properly and you would eventually be willing to have cubs with him and Wukong.

But… It was right there. You could be having their cubs growing in the next few months. The would have his Sun’s beautiful golden eyes. They would have your pretty hair color too. They might have his six ears, though he’d be fine if they only had two. There were so many possible outcomes of how they would look. They would be so small, so cute and so- so perfect.

He’d wanted cubs since well before the attack against the Celestial Realm. Both he and Wukong had wanted cubs but his mate was so reckless that he didn’t believe it was the time. The thought of not only having cubs of their own but their beautiful, sweet, merciful flame being the one to carry them… It sent him spiraling with selfish desire.

It would stake their claim on you. You might hate them for it. You would be theirs. You already were theirs. But it could hurt you. The thought of hurting you gave him a feeling of disgust for not only the idea but himself for actually thinking about going through with it. It would break your trust in them, possibly forever. He despised the thought of hurting you… but the thought of losing you was a thousand times worse.

They had already slept together before though. It’s not as if you’d know that it was because of the water… because of him. It could have been that night, that beautiful blissful night, when you three got drunk. Of course you were such an adorable and flirty drunk. He had never even thought that you’d come onto them but that night you were… so open and welcoming. He adored it.

He only wished he had made a better show the next morning. Instead of slipping up his words as you fled in embarrassment. And of course when he thought about going after you, fucking Zhu Bajie had to come to wake him and Wukong. Wukong who actually started a fight with the pig for interrupting his morning. They hadn’t been able to broach the topic since, especially with you being the Monk’s shield. The thought made him want to snarl.

His eyes drifted back to the river. So many thoughts flew through his mind as he tried to tell himself that it was a bad idea, a terrible idea. You weren’t pregnant, you would have shown symptoms by now surely. It was such a long time ago… five months. You would know that it wasn’t from that night. Unless… it wasn’t as if Celestial Primates bred that often. There were only four in existence. There were no studies that showed how long it took for one to be with child.

Fuck!! He was thinking about it again! All it would take is one, tiny sip. Then you’d be so well and throughly claimed as theirs. Even more than you were now. The image of you draped in blankets, heavily pregnant and barefoot in their nest, forced its way into his mind. The very thought had Macaque purring, you would look so utterly perfect.

*Snap* *Snap* *Snap*

“Macaque!” You called out from aboard the boat, causing Macaque to flinch in shock out of his thoughts.

His face burned when he noticed everyone staring at him. They were waiting for him to get on the boat. He grumbled a ‘sorry,’ more so for you than anyone else. As he jumped onto the boat right next to you who was looking at him with a worried expression, he calmed himself. As the boat began to move he felt the back of your hand grace his forehead.

“You’re not overheating. So no fever,” You frowned, the worried expression refusing to leave your face.

You were so precious. Seeing him so concentrated and she was worried about him. It almost made him flush, but he refused to let that happen.

“I’m fine,” He grumbled forcing himself to pull away from you. He needed to keep his thoughts to himself right now.

“Are you sure?” You questioned, your face still covered with worry.

Oh what he would do to keep you by his side. It would be so easy, all he had to do was… his eyes glanced back at the water once again. You wouldn’t even suspect a thing, all you would know would be that you were gaining weight. At least at first… How cute and perfect you would look, you would be shuffling around not only in their nest but also simply on Flower Fruit Mountain. You’d never be out of their sight again, protected and cared for at all costs.

He wanted that, he craved that. To see you curled up in their nest, safe and sound away from this dangerous journey and happy. You’d be happy… at least he wanted to believe that you’d be happy. He knew how much you wanted to return home… but he didn’t want you to leave. It was selfish and it was kind of cruel but… you were theirs, you belonged with them.

Feeling your hand on his shoulder he jumped back a bit. He needed to get those thoughts out of his head, they were much to dangerous to think about- But you would be bound to them… not only as their mate but as the mother to their cub, no their cubs. They could have a whole tribe of cubs, they would protect them, love them, feed them… you would breast feed them of course, as long as you could. You could grow another one during it~

No… no you all would want to space it out, wouldn’t want too many cubs at once. That would be far too overwhelming. The first one could be from the river water and after that they could properly woo her until she was sure not to reject them. If you had their child, you wouldn’t be able to bring yourself to keep them away from the cub! You were far more likely to stay by their side, after all you wouldn’t be able to protect them alone. You would need help, their help~

“Hey Moon! You’re distracted again,” Wukong poked at him from beside him, floating next to the boat on his nimbus.

Just like that his fantasy popped and he was forcing himself to calm down once again. The whole plan was stupid, stupid and downright cruel. They needed to woo you first before any plans of cubs should even arise. They needed to properly court you, like properly, with the gifts, the shows of their skills, providing food and valuables for you, scent marking you, courtnapping you~

At the thought of that he felt you shake his shoulder, saying something. Immediately he jumped up from the boat and jumped onto Wukong’s cloud. Wukong nearly fell over in shock as Macaque cuddled up into him. Surprised by the turn of events but he didn’t reject his mate from the offered cuddles. It would be even better if you were cuddled with them, but that would have to wait for next time. Because the last time he’d tried he got decked in the face. Probably because he scooped you up without even revealing what he was doing but that was besides the point.

“Hmph, he must be in a bad mood,” Zhu Bajie grunted in annoyance.

“You thin?” You bit back slightly before looking up at the duo on the cloud. That… that was too bad, hopefully he would feel better soon.

“My Moon, what are you-“ His words were cut short when his mate whispered into his ear.

“The river below us… The river is the Mother-Mother River… it makes those who drink its water become pregnant. I can’t get the thought of it out of my head… tell me- tell me that it’s a bad idea,” Macaque whispered and all at once Wukong knew what his mate had been thinking.

A bad idea? How was that a bad idea? He absolutely LOVED that idea! Oh that would be the perfect plan. He didn’t have to even explain the plan. No Wukong knew what it was. He could already imagine it. The thought of their sweet, beautiful bride ripe and round with THEIR child! It would prove even more just who you belonged to, just who you were mated to. None other than the Monkey Kings of course!

Why would Macaque ever think that was a bad idea? Why did he look so nervous and worried about this? Of course Wukong would agree to this plan! To have you come back home to the island not only as their official mate but as the mother of their unborn cub would be a dream come true. Of course he would agree to this plan. In fact this was one of the best plans his mate had come up with in a long time.

>>><<<

“Hey Reader… are you alright?” Tripitaka asked as he glanced at you with a worried expression across his face.

You looked at him for just a moment before laughing it off, “Oh yes. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure about that dear?” The boat maiden asked, her gaze was both soft and kind.

Even a stranger could tell? You thought to yourself with a bittersweet thought. Those two really did do a number on your emotions didn’t they? You pushed the thoughts aside, they were your friends, mere friends who you were traveling with for but a few years of their immortal lives. You tried to push the bitter pang out of your chest. It didn’t work.

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine. I’m just worried about my friends is all, he isn’t normally that… standoffish,” You muttered… friends, they were your friends, right?

They had stopped trying to attack the group a long time ago, and they started to give you gifts too. They clearly wanted to show you they didn’t mean any harm, even if some of the gifts were rather off. Like the time Wukong tried to give you a still beating and bloody heart. You honestly weren’t sure why they insisted on giving you gifts when they were clearly just trying to make friends. But you also knew they were monkey demons, and as such they expressed their emotions differently.

So of course, you all were friends. You could say that confidently, after all why else would they be so protective? Why else would they make sure you were provided for? Why else would they get so pissed off when another mortal tried to court you?

That- That had happened after… that night. Her face flustered at the mere memory. The memory of their arms around you, the memory of naked skin against fur, the memory of- Hold it right there! That was not at all appropriate thoughts for your friends. Neither Macaque nor Wukong had mentioned it again and you had all been drunk. It meant nothing, it was nothing but a drunken mistake that you would take to your grave.

“If you say so young lady. But bare in mind when the mind is plagued, it can cause you to loose focus on what really matters right in front of you. The here and the now,” The woman finally responded after a long moment of silence.

“You sound like the Master-“ Bajie snorted with a laugh.

Sandy smiled and nodded with his brother, “You are a very wise woman.”

“Thank you gentlemen. We’ve arrived, I wish you all well on your travels,” The Maiden said with a slight bow as the group slid off the boat with ease. “And young miss.”

“Yeah?” You responded almost immediately.

The maiden looked at you with kind and almost sad eyes, “Take care to figure out what it is your thinking so deeply on.”

You felt your face flush again. You knew what you were thinking of, that wasn’t the problem. No the problem is that you were thinking of such things at all. Those thoughts were both impure and inappropriate. Wukong and Macaque were your friends, nothing more and nothing less. Though a part of you, a very small part of you kind of wanted more.

You glanced up at the monkey kings who were still sitting, half on top of each other on Wukong’s nimbus. You couldn’t help but smile, maybe Macaque just needed some alone time with his mate. You were glad they were happy together, they truly were like the Sun and the Moon, always longing for each other. There was no room for you in that dynamic, it was best to get those thoughts out of your head.

Turning around you followed after the group, your thoughts still plagued with the two monkey demons. You should give them privacy. You were completely unaware of the argument that was being spoken by the two simians above the group. No, you weren’t aware of the dangerous and life altering argument that they were having.

The group continued walking for a while. Tripitaka atop Ao Lie getting the easiest ride. Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing were following after carrying the little luggage that was required for the group. Bajie and Wujing were rather large demons and only took on more reasonable sizes whenever you were near or at a human settlement. Such as on the boat, while now they decided to return to their regular forms.

You… you didn’t have a horse, nor did you have the advantage of size to travel easier. It was merely by the grace of Ao Lie’s slow pace that allowed you to keep up. You didn’t have the true speed to keep up with any of them, and you could be easily left behind. But… you weren’t. For that you were quite thankful to the white horse-dragon. Along with the slower pace, you traveling by foot also resulted in you needing to rest more than the others.

As the group continued to walk, you could see the upcoming town. A breath of relief left you, if there was a village than surly the monk would decide to rest there for a proper night of rest. If you were lucky then you’d stay there for two or three nights. However you knew that was rather unlikely as none of the group had any serious injuries. One night, one night would be enough.

Up above you, there was tension between the two monkey demons that were getting into a heated argument.

>>><<<

“Damnit Wukong! You’re supposed to help me NOT find the good in this stupid, idiotic idea!” Macaque seethed to his mate, his tail flicking angrily as he gripped the cloth of Wukong’s hanfu.

“Stupid? Idiotic? No love, this is a beautiful and absolutely PERFECT idea. It would be so easy too,” Wukong purred at the thought.

Macaque tightened his grip, “Wukong. I want this as much as you but it’s wrong. It’s wrong to force something like this onto her.”

“Oh my Moon~ We don’t have to FORCE her. All we have to do is offer the water, she can always reject it~” Wukong muttered leaning in to give Macaque kisses across his ears. “It’s not our fault if the river isn’t… regular water~”

A shiver ran down Macaque’s spine, he knew what his mate was thinking. He knew his mate very well and knew when his mate was thinking up some plan. He was going to offer the water without telling you about what it is. No, this was wrong. This was all wrong and terrible and a bad, bad idea.

“Wukong-” Macaque began.

“Think about it~ She will look so beautiful when she’s with OUR child, OUR CUB. Just imagine it,” He whispered. He gently biting one of Macaque’s six ears, causing a shiver to run straight down his spine. It wasn’t just because of the bite but also the image forming in his head once again of you heavily pregnant and thoroughly claimed in their nest.

“But- But we don’t even know if she wants cubs-” Macaque tried to persuade his mate as well as himself. He shouldn’t have said anything, he should have kept his mouth shut. Especially when all of his reasons were so easily deflected, especially when his mate who he wanted to stop him was trying to tell him all about how much of a GOOD idea this was.

“You and I both know that she wants cubs. Not to mention she was so good with the baby monkeys on the mountain. Remember~? They were climbing all over her, such curious little cubs they are, all interested in meeting their new Queen~” Wukong purred once again.

The memory was tranquilizing, it made his whole body stiffen. You had been so careful, so kind and so motherly when the baby monkey climbed up into your arms. You had cradled it gently to your chest and cooed as if they were the most precious thing in the world. The beautiful little cub that cuddled up to you was lost and clung to you while you found it’s mother. One who was so grateful to you. Neither the mother nor the cub had even sensed any danger from you at all.

“Come on! Just think about it. She would have to stop this stupid journey and come home with us. She wouldn’t be able to use the artifacts anymore because it could danger the cub and we both know the mere thought would devastate her. She would soon become ripe and round with OUR cubs. She wouldn’t even be able to fight back against us anymore like that~” Wukong sighed at the mere thought of you being unable to fight against him and his mate while also being pregnant with his cub. “We would keep her safe, and provided for. No one would ever be able to even think about taking her away from us~” Wukong chirped into Macaque’s ear happily.

It was the last sentence, the one about no one being able to take you away. The one about you staying with them and no one else that made the moon monkey’s resolve crack. His eyes dilated into slits as his tail curled with his mate’s. A deep purr rumbled through him and Wukong knew that he had won him over. They were going to have a cub! A precious little cub with their beautiful, merciful Reader! The thought caused him to start purring too.

As dazed eyes looked back up at his, Wukong grinned happily. A kiss landed on his lips and Wukong leaned into his mate, his clawed hand pulling Macaque closer into him. Claws dug into fur as they both purred happily, neither of them were letting go of the other. Each were practically trying to devour the other. They only released the other when they heard that annoying pig.

“Oh! Master told me to go get the water! You two have to come with!” Bajie called with an annoyed look across his face. He looked as though he was trying to get a rouse out of them. He also clearly didn’t expect for the monkey duo to agree however it was the perfect excuse to get exactly whaat they wanted.

“Ugh!” Macaque groaned dramatically, while hiding the thoughts that were swirling around through his mind. They were going to make you theirs! You were going to be theirs and absolutely NO ONE could stop them or take you away from them EVER.

>>><<<

“Are you sure it was a good idea to send Sun and Mac with Zhu Bajie?” You asked nervously looking back towards the river that they all headed towards. With how they act around the pig demon you doubted it was a good idea to leave them alone.

Tripitaka shrugged, “It should be fine. They don’t attack people anymore remember? They have been on their best behavior for a while now.”

You only grew more nervous. Sure, the two hadn’t outright attacked any humans in their path recently but.. that didn’t really say much. You still saw the glares of disgust and the annoyed expressions they gave any time other humans were around and whenever you had to come to a village. As much as you care for the two at this point, that didn’t mean you fully trusted them to be alone. Especially with Bajie, who had a tendency to piss them off to no end with his own arrogance.

“If- If you say so…” You muttered quietly, it would be fine. They wouldn’t kill the pig demon, that would send them both into painful torture for hours maybe even days. The pain of the tortuous headbands was something that the two avoided at all costs. They weren’t stupid. Reckless, stubborn and destructive? Yes. But by no means were either of them stupid in any sense of the word.

>>><<<

Meanwhile with the two monkey demons in question.

Bajie had gathered some water front the river in his water skin, lifting it up and taking several gulps without thinking twice. Macaque snickered to himself as he watched the unsuspecting demon. If he were kind maybe he would have warned him, but not only would that spoil their plans. He also loathed the existence of the pig for all the pain and humiliation he liked to cause the duo.

Wukong held in his laughter as the pig started his trek back. He didn’t even bother looking over his shoulder to make sure the two were following him. He didn’t care, the lazy pig simply wanted to return and get back to sleep in the inn. The inn that the rest of the group had probably already arrived at.

“Now. How do we make sure that its OUR cub she conceives. There has to be something special we have to do,” Wukong said quickly as Macaque looked at the water, a small water skin in his hand.

The shadow monkey stared at the water he collected. The best way to make sure that you conceived their child? The best bet would be blood and magical essence surely. Maybe they could have tried to mate after giving you the water- but he wasn’t sure you’d allow that. This was the best bet to make sure you were all well round and pregnant.

“Give me your hand, I need some of your blood,” Macaque said and without another word his mate gave it to him, his claw slicing through the stone monkey’s flesh. The skin healing quickly but after applying enough pressure there was blood left atop the now healed skin.

He sliced his own hand and added just a drop of blood from each of them. That should be all it takes… on second thought maybe they should add some magic too, just to be sure that it works. He allowed his shadows to easily flow into the water and Wukong added in his own powerful magic. Looking into the water it looked normal, he swished it around and his eyes widened as a shimmer of light purple and gold was visible. It was faint and almost unnoticeable hopefully you wouldn’t notice.

“We should get back now, we’ve been gone long enough,” Wukong grinned, a smile so wide it looked like his face might split.

“Yes! Let’s go and get our darling pregnant,” He giggled while wagging his tail happily.

>>><<<

It didn’t take much longer for you until the two monkeys suddenly appeared in front of you. Right out of your shadow. Wukong let out a loud hoot as he jumped out of the shadow portal his mate opened and pulled Macaque with him. You couldn’t help but chuckle at their giddy nature.

“We’re back… how did you too get here first?” Bajie asked his face covered in an irritated expression.

“Because you’re slow, duh,” Wukong laughed at the offended shout of the pig.

“There is no need to fight,” Tripitaka spoke up calmly as he was handed water.

“Sorry Master,” Bajie apologized but Wukong only rolled his eyes, not interested in apologizing at all.

“Wukong,” You said sternly.

He grumbled under his breath before sarcastically saying, “Sorry master.”

You knew that was the best you were going to get from the demon. He wasn’t one who liked to apologize or admit he was in the wrong. But he was getting better, slowly very, very slowly.

“We got some water for you too,” Macaque said as he held the small water skin up for you.

You blinked in surprise when he held it for you, but as you thought back on it there were many times that the monkey demons had given you food and water. You couldn’t help but smile softly. It was in their nature to provide and take care of those who they considered friends after all, at least that’s what you told yourself. You accepted the bag from his hand, not noticing the ay his eyes twinkled in excitement and his tail wag happily.

If you had looked into the bag and looked close enough you might have noticed the slight gold and purple glow that shimmered through the water. But the bag was mostly closed and you closed your eyes as you drank the water. So in the end neither color was noticed as you finished off the water.

“Thank you, I honestly didn’t realize how thirsty I was,” You laughed, truly thankful that they were so attentive.

“No problem,” Wukong grinned, a lovesick smile across his face at the successful plan.

“Do you need anything else? Food? More water?” Macaque asked as his tail thumped against the ground. His initial poor mood seemingly gone, though you still didn’t know how he came to be in that sour mood from before.

You pointed towards town and grinned, “No thanks. We should head over to the inn though, we’re almost there.”

“Of course,” Wukong grinned back at you, answering for himself and Macaque.

Usually they would travel on his cloud or Macaque would take a nap in someone’s shadow. It was odd to see the two monkey demons walk right next to you, though it wasn’t the first time they had done this, but it wasn’t often. At the change of their demeanor, a strange feeling settled into your gut. You narrowed your eyes, what did they do? Surely it was something if they were acting like this.

Just as you were about to speak up and ask, you heard Pigsy groan in pain. You’re head snapped towards him before Tripitaka followed suit in pain. Running over you noticed that Pigsy was on the ground clutching his stomach while the monk slid off the horse almost hitting you before you helped him the rest of the way down.

“Are you two okay!? What happened?” You nearly yelled as you got to them, fear lacing every word.

Macaque’s eyes darkened, why should you show them such care? He and Wukong deserved that attention far more than either of them ever would. Oh what he would give to slice them limb from limb, maybe even gift you their hearts to show that he was the stronger one. He was the one who deserved your attention. HE could gift you the monk’s flesh and with it immortality… he shook the thought away. No, you would only hate that. You and your ever soft heart.

“My stomach hurts,” Tripitaka groaned as you helped him to sit on the ground, he sounded as if he were about to die. A part of you told you, he might be dramatic knowing the monk, but you weren’t for sure.

“I’m dying!” Bajie groaned, now he was definitely being dramatic.

You immediately took your phoenix stone in hand and tried to help the pain go away for both of them. However as you tried the magic from the stone glowed for a moment before flickering out. Your eyes widened in shock, what the- You tried again, it wasn’t cold out there was no reason it shouldn’t work. Fear struck you and you summoned your shield… why did it work and your phoenix stone not?

“Reader are you alright, what’s wrong?” Macaque spoke up as he came over, crouching down to look at you as you allowed the shield to fall.

“It’s not- It’s not working,” You stuttered eyes watering when your only actual weapon wasn’t working.

Macaque glanced at the shield, it was a protective thing, one that didn’t require your magic. He wanted to grab it and shatter it, maybe then it would be out of his sight. If it required energy than maybe it wouldn’t work either, unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Instead of it not working it seemed to be even stronger, the magic within it sensing your more vulnerable state. He was actually impressed, Su was able to make such a strong enachantment and one that could sense you immediately.

In your state of turmoil you tried to think of a reason when Wukong placed a hand on your shoulder. “We’ll have to figure that out later, right now Master seems to be sick.”

You nodded, as you pushed the thoughts out of your head. Now wasn’t the time to freak out, no your friends needed you calmer. Taking a deep breath you looked around and noticed an elderly woman walking up to your group, seemingly on her way towards the river.

“Are you all okay?” The woman asked, quietly eyeing the demons in the group before turning her attention to you.

“We don’t know what happened! Our master and our companion suddenly fell over after drinking some water!” Wujing nearly yelled, completely freaking out over the situation. He tried to help Bajie sit up the same way you held up Tripitaka.

“Water? What water did they drink?” The woman asked, her fave creasing with worry as she pursed her lips in thought.

You didn’t notice the way that Macaque bit his lip in worry and irritation. You were about to find out the truth, what they had done. No! You had no way of knowing that they knew what they were doing, he knew this was a bad idea- but… you- you were carrying his child now. The thought sent a shiver of excitement down his spine. It was only a matter of time-

“The water from the river-,” You began to say, but as soon as the words left your lips the woman began to chuckle before falling into a fit of laughter.

“What’s so funny!” Bajie shouted through his pain, anger splitting across his face.

“The river, you drank the water from THAT river?” The woman asked pointing back to the river that they had just left behind.

You nodded irritation covering your face at her nonchalonce and clear amusement at your companions suffering, “Yes, THAT river. What about it?” Why would someone laugh at someone else’s obvious pain?

You also couldn’t figure out how the river could be causing their pain. After all Macaque and Wukong had gotten you water too and you were perfectly fine. Besides the artifact not working you were perfectly fine, absolutely nothing was different. Then again… with your forest stone- you were immune to most poisons but surely there wasn’t a whole river that was just poisoned… right?

“You see my dear, this is the land of women. There are only women who live her,” The woman began with a kind smile.

“Okay? Cool what does that have to do with-“ You cut in but was cut off by the woman who was telling the story.

“We have no men here, so when a woman wants a child and to be pregnant… they go to the mother-mother river. When she drinks of the water, it makes the woman conceive a child,” She finished explaining completely calm about what she just said.

There was a moment of silence as the facts slowly settled onto the group. Tripitaka, Bajie and you had drank the water, the water from the mother-mother river. You- you were all… pregnant!?!? No-No this couldn’t be happening!

“What!?” You shouted in shock, your worry for your friends completely cut off when the fact that you- yourself were pregnant. Pregnant with a child, a child. You were pregnant!! Child, you were going to have a child!? Were you ready for a child? How were you supposed to continue the journey with a child at your hip!?

Of course, you tried to push those thoughts away when you looked at the other two. You had a female body, you had the organs to carry the child… Tripitaka and Bajie- they, they were men. They couldn’t carry a child, what- what would happen to them!? Would it kill them? Their bodies were not designed to carry life within them like a female’s body did. It was a part of nature that way. The mother-mother river wasn’t meant to be drank by men!

“So… you’re telling us that, Tripitaka, Bajie and Reader are… Pregnant?” Wujing asked, his shock evident across his entire face.

Behind the group Wukong suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. He fell down to his knees as he clutched his stomach, deep laughter rolling freely out of him as he cackled. He had been so caught up in their plan to get you to drink the water, for YOU to get pregnant that he didn’t even think about the monk or the pig demon. He laughed and laughed unable to control his fit of laughter as he realized that they were both indeed also pregnant.

Faintly he heard Wujing follow suit with the laughter. He wasn’t as worried and more amused at the situation. Of course the river demon would also find this situation as amusing as Wukong did.

“What!? No that can’t be!! How- How can we fix this!?” Bajie shouted angrily at the woman, his whole body shaking with rage at the mere thought of it.

“Fix it? Oh of course. You must follow the river up to the source where the river begins inside of the mountain. Within the mountain there is a spring separate from the river, that is where one can choose… to terminate the pregnancy,” The woman explained calmly as she eyed the group, holding back her laughter.

Almost immediately you felt yourself relax, your friends would be safe. You didn’t need to worry about them, there were three others who hadn’t drank the water and could get to the spring. You knew that a child could not grow within them, it would die before their life could even begin and it would probably take them with it. Your heart was pained at the thought, but you knew there was nothing that could be done about it.

“Wukong, Macaque, and Sandy you three go find the spring and bring back some water,” Triptiaka ordered quietly as he clutched his stomach in pain.

Wukong’s laughter all but seize up almost immediately before he looked at the monk and scowled. He hated when the monk told him what to do. He hated how the monk thought he was above him! He had no right to… but that wasn’t what he was most worried about right now. No. If they got the spring water then his own cub… NO DAMNIT! His face twisted into a snarl. You were carrying their cub! There was no reason for you to get rid of such a blessing!

“Hold up! Why should we fix your-!?” Wukong shut up when Macaque placed a hand on his shoulder and squeeze almost threateningly.

It was a silent but very real warning, if he kept talking it would ruin their oh so well thought out plan. Or rather the plan that they both jumped into without pausing attention to the consequences, even thought they knew what they could be. They had only thought of themselves and what this would all mean for them. Macaque knew very well that they were on thin ice, they were so close to being found out. He couldn’t have that, they were expected to fix their compainions’ fuck up. They needed to stay calm and think.

“I-I drank the water too though. Why am I not in pain?” You finally spoke up worry and confusion covering your face.

“… That would probably be because you are female. You are female are you not?” The woman asked with a warm and kind smile.

“Yes. I was- I AM female,” You nodded.

“Your body has accepted the child gracefully. However neither of your companinons are well- female. They cannot exactly carry the child so their body’s are clearly rejecting it and it is causing them a great deal of pain, and eventually it can lead to their death,”. The woman explained calmly.

The explanation calmed you down slight but it also worried you a great deal too. They were like this due to their anatomy, in pain with the possiblity of death looming over their heads. As for you? There as no threat to your life with a child growing in your womb. The worry for yourself had vanished but… your companions-

“Sandy, Wukong and Macaque go get Tripitaka and Bajie the water,” You said glancing at the three who had still not moved.

“What about you? You’re weak like this-“ Wujing asked, a worried expression crossing over his face for your safety as well as his other companions.

You stayed silent, you weren’t able to use your phoenix stone and you had no idea how long as that would last. You knew that it was dangerous in this world to be stuck without a weapon but- you could still use your shield. At least- for now. You didn’t know what to do you needed to protect your friends, and what would happen when- when you returned back to your world.

No! That’s not what was improtnat right now. Your shield still worked, you would be okay. You felt your eyes water and your vision blurred. Tears threatened to spill down your cheeks but you fought them back. It would be okay- Besides they wouldn’t be that long.

They would probably bring you some water to- the thought crossed your mind. You weren’t sure if you wanted any but Wujing was clearly offering to bring you water too. Was this the right choice? You were weak like this and you would grow even weaker as months passed. You weren’t even sure how long it would take to get back to your world, would the child be born here? Or there? Would you be able to protect them? So many questions filled your head and you had no idea what to do about any of it.

Was giving up the child the right decision, but it was a child- YOUR child. The thoughts wouldn’t leave your mind as you looked up at the worried expression of the river demon. You didn’t notice the deadly aura that was slowly coming off of the monkey demons behind you. You were completely unaware that they knew what they did that they had decided to do it freely and willingly. All to have you to themselves with a little one one the way.

They would NEVER allow for something to happen to you or your- their cub. Even if you didn’t know it yet.

OKAY!! Finally finished the first chapter. How this turned from 4,200 words to almost 8,000? I have no idea. But I hope everyone enjoys. I’ll probably rewrite the rest of the story too, but damn I don’t know if the other chapters will be this long. This- is really long. Well I hope everyone enjoys! Right now I just want to know everyone’s opinion on it, if you are willing to give it that is.

[ereardon]

Before I Knew [Jake Seresin x Reader] Chapter Six

A Jake Seresin unexpected pregnancy fic

Overview: On your first night after moving to San Diego to spend more time with your brother Bob, you unknowingly have a one night stand with his teammate Jake Seresin. For the first time in his whole life, Bob has a closely knit friend group and you’re desperate not to rock the boat. But an unexpected and unplanned pregnancy upends your world, forcing you and Jake closer together, against Bob’s wishes. What will happen when you find yourself actually falling for the father of your unborn child? 

Pairing: Jake Seresin x Reader; Bob Floyd x Sister!Reader 

Warnings: Pregnancy, cursing, eventual smut, angst

Chapter summary: Ducky goes to her first doctor's appointment; Bob and Jake fight it out; Jake makes a staggering proposal

WC: 2K

Masterlist here; previous chapter here

You caught the bus a few blocks from the library and rode it across town to the doctor’s office. Waited in the front area with all the other women in various stages of pregnancy. Your heart sank as you watched woman after woman file in with a partner at her side or a friend. 

You felt utterly alone as they called your name and you stood up alone. 

The sonographer pushed off of her stool and smiled. “The doctor will be in soon.” 

You nodded, laying back against the paper-coated exam table. When the doctor entered, she smiled softly. “Hi there, I’m Dr. Whitman.” She took a seat on the stool. “Let’s take a look here.” She pulled up the sonogram charts. “Everything looks good. You’re measuring at eight weeks and three days. How do you feel?” 

“Nauseous,” you replied. “Tired.” 

She smiled. “That’s par for the course, unfortunately. The second trimester gets better for most patients.” 

“Thank God.” 

The doctor clicked off the screen and folded her hands in her lap. “Y/N,” she said softly. “A core part of a pregnancy is a support system. Are you married?” 

You shook your head. “No.” 

“Do you have a boyfriend or family to lean on?” 

“It’s complicated,” you whispered. 

“I understand.” There was something so soothing about her. “But I also know that what many people don’t realize is that a core part of a healthy pregnancy is having people to lean on. Stress is not good for the baby.” 

“I barely know the father,” you replied. “And I’ve been staying with my brother. But he’s not happy about all of this.” 

The doctor nodded. “No pregnancy is easy to plan for,” she replied. “But keeping your stress levels low is critical, especially during this first trimester. Do you have any friends who can help support you?” 

You thought of Phoenix. So far she was the only one who seemed to want to help. You nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” 

“Good.” The doctor scribbled on a pad. “I’m going to write you a prescription for an anti-nausea medication. Take it once a day for at least a week to see if it helps.” She ripped it off and then handed you the sonogram. “And here’s a photo of your baby.” 

You held the black and white photo in both hands, choking on air. For perhaps the first time, it dawned on you. 

You were going to be a mother. 

***

“Fucking shit, Floyd, what the hell was that?” Jake whipped off his helmet the moment they stepped foot on the tarmac. 

Bob grunted and turned to storm away. Phoenix put one hand on his arm and he shrugged her off. She looked at Jake and raised her eyebrows. “Above my pay grade.” 

“He’s your back seater, Natasha,” Jake said and Phoenix’s lips pressed into a fine line. Jake only called her by her first name when things were serious. 

“He has his own mind,” she hissed back. “I can’t help it that you knocked up his sister.” 

Jake’s green eyes went wide with anger. Bradley stepped between them, trying to diffuse the attention. “Alright, hold on. Let’s just take a step back here before we say things we don’t mean.” 

“I meant it when I said you only think about yourself,” Phoenix said. Her words landed on Jake with a solid delivery. It had been three years, but their last fight still stung. 

Jake shook his head, heading toward the locker room where Bob had disappeared. Behind him, Bradley held both of Phoenix’s arms, keeping her back, his whispers blending into the whirring background noise of jets landing on the tarmac. “Floyd!” Jake’s voice rang out in the empty changing room. He was quiet for a moment before a clang caught his attention, the sound of a locker door slamming. He moved further down the halfway, rounding the corner where Bob stood wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans, a frown laced over his delicate face. “Floyd, listen–”

“I pretty much raised her,” Bob interrupted. Jake frowned, but stayed silent as Bob laced his shoes, refusing to make eye contact. “Our dad left. Our mom worked all the time to put food on the table. So that left taking care of Y/N to me. And I did it, because I loved her. I did it because I wanted what was best for her.” He looked up, blue eyes hollow against sullen skin. “And now you’ve shown up and ruined everything.” 

“I didn’t know she was your sister,” Jake said. “And we didn’t mean for her to get pregnant. It just happened.” 

“But it happened to her!” Bob shouted and Jake took a step back. There was something unhinged about angry Bob. So different from the wallflower that he had always been. You were the one thing that he cared enough about to pick fights over. “You happened to her. You ruined her fucking life, Hangman.” 

“But that’s just it, isn’t it?” Jake said. “It’s her life, Floyd. Not yours. It’s hers. You’re acting like I did this to you as a personal attack.” 

“She was just starting to get her footing,” Bob said quietly. “And you took that away from her. You took away her future. Everything she worked so hard for. Everything we both worked so hard for. To get out of Chattanooga. To not end up like the rest of them.” 

Jake sighed. “So that’s what this is about, isn’t it,” he said. “It’s not about me. And it’s not even really about Y/N. It’s about you.” 

Bob squinted. “What?” 

“You’re mad because you think this foils all of your plans, all of your work, everything you did to get the two of you out of that small town life.” 

“She deserves better.” 

“I agree.” Jake shook his head. “Listen, man, I’m not going anywhere. This might not have been what I expected. Hell, it might not even be what I want. But it’s where we are. I’m not going to leave her alone in all of this.” 

“She isn’t alone,” Bob said. “She has me.” 

“Does she?” 

***

A little girl set a pile of library books on the counter in front of you. She was barely tall enough to reach, her thin arms struggling beneath the weight of the books. “Hi,” she chirped.

You turned and smiled. She had big ears and a wide, uneven grin. “Hi there,” you said, scanning the first book. “Wow, you scored big.” 

“I like bugs,” she explained and you slowly noticed every single book was about snakes or bugs. You could feel bile creep up your throat as you nodded. 

“That’s nice.” 

“Do you like bugs?” 

“Not really.” 

She frowned. “That’s too bad. Do you like puppies?” 

“Yeah, puppies are better.” You finished scanning her books. “Do you need a bag?” 

She shook her head. “No, my mommy is over there.” She pointed at a pregnant woman standing next to the door looking at her phone. The little girl cocked her head to the side. “You look like her.” 

“Really?” You squinted. The woman by the door was taller, with different hair. “How so?” 

“You’re going to be a mommy,” the little girl said. “All mommys look like that.” And then she grabbed her books and jogged off toward the door. You had to practically pick your jaw up from the ground, hands dropping to your barely visible bump. How had she known? Then again, kids were like animals. Sometimes they knew things. You watched the little girl hand the books to her mom, who slid them into a tote bag before grabbing her hand tightly. 

Something stirred inside of you. It was too soon to be the baby, realistically you knew that. But somewhere, deep down, you knew it was the baby making their presence known. 

“Hi there,” you whispered, one hand over your belly button. 

***

It was late. You were asleep on the couch when the door opened. You opened your eyes wide, watching as Jake and Bradley dragged a barely coherent Bob through the door. You stood up, wiping at your eyes. “What the hell?” 

“He’s wasted,” Bradley said. “We tried but we couldn’t stop him.” 

You put your hands on your hips, turning to Jake. “Did you do this?” 

“I’m so tired of everyone blaming me,” he replied. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. 

Bradley cocked his head. “Here, let me take him.” Easily, he slung Bob over one of his shoulders, carrying him straight into the bedroom. You dragged your hand over your face, turning to Jake. 

“What’s going on with him?” 

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Jake replied, looking at his feet. “He and I, we uh, we had a fight.” 

“About what?” 

He lifted his gaze to yours. “You know what.” 

“Oh. That.” 

Jake nodded as Bradley stepped back into the living room. He looked at you, and then Jake. “I'm going to head out.” 

“Thanks for bringing him back.” 

“Any time.” Bradley paused by the door. “Hey Y/N?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Be patient with him. He’s still processing.” The door shut softly. 

“He heard me say that I hate him,” you whispered, moving back onto the couch, curling into a ball. Jake followed, sitting on the other end of the couch, a safe distance away. “Maybe he hates me, too.” 

“He doesn’t hate you,” Jake replied. “He wouldn’t act like this if he didn’t love you.” 

“Then why is he hurting me?” you whispered, a tear slipping down your cheek. 

“Because he’s hurt, too,” Jake said. “And it’s easier to be mad.” 

You tipped your head to one side. “That night we met. You had no idea I was Bob’s sister?” 

“Fuck no,” Jake replied and you smirked. He shook his head. “You’re gorgeous, but I never would have looked at you, let alone did what we did if I had known.” 

“So it wasn’t some ploy to get back at him for whatever the hell you two have beef about?” 

“This has become a lot bigger than I ever imagined.” 

You sighed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t a cool girl you met in a bar and had sex with and never saw again. I’m sorry I’m ruining your whole life.” 

“Maybe it’s not so bad,” Jake whispered and you looked up, surprised. “Maybe I needed something to change.” 

“So you’re not upset?” 

“I’m upset,” Jake clarified. “This isn’t at all what I expected. But it’s done, right?” he asked. “We just have to deal with the consequences.” 

“How romantic.” 

“Fuck.” He leaned back. “Shit, I, I didn’t mean it like that.” 

You shook your head. “It’s OK, it was a joke.” 

“But is that what you want?” he said quietly. “Something romantic?” 

“No. I don’t know.” You pulled your hair back into a loose bun, fighting for words. “I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know anything.” 

“Are you happy here?” 

You frowned. “What do you mean here?” 

“Staying with Bob.” 

“He’s my brother.” 

“I know, Y/N.” Jake rolled his eyes. “That’s why we’re in this lovely predicament. I’m asking if you feel safe here.” 

“Bob would never hurt me.” 

“I think he already has.” Jake’s words stung and you realized for the first time that hurt was much more than just physical. “I was thinking. There’s an apartment across the hall from mine. It’s two bedrooms.” 

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” You practically scoffed. 

Jake shrugged. “Why not? At least for now. Until he cools down.” 

“That’ll only make him angrier.” 

“I don’t give a shit about what makes Floyd happy,” Jake said. “I care about what’s best for you.” 

“Do you actually?” you pressed. “Or is that just what you think you’re supposed to say and feel and do? Take away all of the outside voices and opinions. What do you, Jake Seresin, want?” 

He was quiet for a moment. Then, in the smallest voice you had ever heard, he replied, “To be a good dad. To do the right thing.” 

You nodded. “OK. I’ll move in with you.” You looked up into his clear green eyes. For the first time in weeks, you felt hopeful.

Please follow my library page @ereardonlibrary as that will largely serve as my tag list. Anyone I previous promised to tag is here:

@bobfloydsbabe @blue-aconite @wkndwlff @mamachasesmayhem @mandylove1000 @djs8891 @clancycucumber230 @rosiahills22 @buckysteveloki-me  @kmc1989 @gigisimsonmars @eloquentdreamer @mjisbby @shanimallina87 @seresinslady @seresinhangmanjake @blackwidownat2814 @yanna-banana @bbyvanessaa  @mrsjobarnes @midnightmagpiemama @ingoaliesitrust @rockbottomphilosophies-blog @iangiemae @joaquinwhorres @boiolay @sometimesanalice @spinning-away @mycobrakai1972 @xomrsalliej4787xo @na-ta-sh-aa

[short-honey-badger]

Peppermint Tea 36 - Hibiscus 1

Summary: The bun in OUT of the oven. Mihawk and Shanks meet another female they'd burn the world for.

*warnings* childbirth. I'm no doctor so I tried my best!

Notes* There’s a lot that happens in this chapter! I've got one more planned to wrap this monster of a fic up and then an epilogue with an open ending if I want to come back to this and do little one-shots or what have you. I really hope everyone who's been with me through this has enjoyed! ❤️❤️

Peppermint Tea Masterlist-> HERE

A scream rips from your throat, chest heaving as tears stream down your face when pain arcs up your back. Both of your hands are occupied, Mihawk on one side and Shanks on the other. This was hour two of your labor, the Red Force having arrived on Sphinx Island just in time for your water to break, sending you and the two men that had done this to you into a panic. Mihawk did a good job of hiding it, but Shanks could see the anxiety lingering in those golden eyes. The redhead wasn’t doing a great job of hiding how worried he was, but he was here and that was all that mattered right now. 

Marco, bless him, stood at the end of the table, hands gloved and surgical mask on as he peeked between your legs, “Just a little more, _. I can see their head, you’ve got this.” 

The ex-commander of the Whitebeard Pirates hadn’t thought that he would wake up this morning and deliver a baby, especially a child made from two of the most powerful men in the Grandline, but here he was. Not that he was complaining, mind you, he was a doctor, and that meant it was his obligation to help those in need. After having the three of you in his office, he decided that they needed all the help they could get. 

You grit your teeth, brow furrowing as you do as instructed. There was so, so much pain, and if you hadn’t been coated in your boys’ haki, you were sure you would have burst into snowflakes after the first contraction had hit. You weren’t used to pain. You had always been careful your entire life and cautious, so this was excruciating. You gripped their hands harder, nails biting into their flesh as you pushed again. 

The morning after your reunion with Shanks and Mihawk, they had taken you aside and listed off the men and women who they knew to be doctors. You had immediately declined the help of Tony Tony Chopper, not wanting an underage reindeer to be the one to deliver your baby. Crocus and Dr. Kureha were too far away, and closer to your island than where they were now, so that had left Marco the Phoenix. 

Shanks had told you that he was a good man, and one that could be trusted to keep you and their daughter a secret, so in the end, it had only been logical that they would contact him and see if he could help. The redhead had grinned and disappeared, only to come back with a snail transponder that was already ringing. 

Ca-lick

“Shanks, this better be good and not another attempt to get me to join your crew.” 

The redhead had laughed sheepishly, especially after seeing the looks that his treasures had sent him, one of curiosity and the other annoyed. He hadn’t ever mentioned to them that he had tried to recruit the Whitebeard member. 

“No, no. Nothing like that. I’ve actually got a favor.” 

There was a curious pause on the other side of the phone, and then Marco’s exasperated voice. 

“...What kind of favor?” 

Seeing the hesitation on Shanks’ face, you rolled your eyes and snagged the snail away from the redhead. Mihawk couldn’t have been more proud. 

“Hi, Marco. My name is _. I’ve known Shanks for a while now, and well. I’m having his baby, and he said that you could be trusted. So, could you help us?” 

There was another silence over the phone, and if they were at Sphinx, they would have seen Marco’s jaw drop in shock, and then smooth a hand over his face as a weight settled over his shoulders. 

“That’s some favor. You must be something special to have gotten him to stay loyal.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh, though you glared at the redhead, who wilted further when Mihawk joined you with his own piercing look. 

“I can’t take all the credit, I had some help keeping him in line. You’ve met Dracule Mihawk right?” 

All you knew about them knowing one another was what the warlord had told you about Marineford, which was before the two of you had met. You understood that it was a huge battle between the navy and pirates, and you’d been surprised that Mihawk had fought for the Marines at first, but he’d explained what his duties as a warlord entailed, so you kind of understood. It’d make you giggle when he admitted he left, he refused to say escaped, when Shanks had shown up. 

“...An emperor and a warlord? Should I be worried about my health?” 

You could hear the joking tilt in Marco’s voice, and it made you like him even more. The two of you spoke for a while longer, the doctor in him coming out and inquiring about your health before he’d given the okay. 

“Sounds like to me you’ll arrive at Sphinx about the time for you to give birth. Stay off your feet as much as you can these next weeks, and I’ll send Shanks the coordinates to the island. It was good to meet you, _.” 

You’d smiled and thanked the doctor, and then ended the call. Mihawk had taken it away to set aside, and then the two of you rounded on Shanks, twin glares that had the redhead shrinking away. 

“I think we should remind our dear Shanks why he stays loyal to us, don’t you think, my dear?” Mihawk had rumbled and advanced on the other man, a possessive gleam in his golden eyes. You’d gotten quite the show that morning. 

“Fuck both of you,” you snarl hotly and glare at both men, eyes alight with fury as you take short, stuttering breaths, trying to keep yourself from passing out from the pain. Marco was a doctor, and a good one at that, but childbirth wasn’t something that he did very often, so he didn’t keep very strong painkillers on hand, “We’re never having sex again.” 

Shanks can’t help but laugh, though it ends with a wince when you squeeze his hand so hard his bones ache. He didn’t realize that you had such a good grip. 

“You say that now, my love,” Mihawk murmured beside you, and you gave him a smile full of teeth. It was not a nice one. 

“I’ll castrate you both.” 

Marco glared at all of them, eyes narrowing in on the two men, “And I’m going to help her if you two don’t stop distracting her. Come on, _. You’re almost there.” 

You scream again and put all of the strength you’ve got left into the next push, and then you feel a sudden relief, fluid and blood leaking from between your legs. All you want to do is sleep, but then you hear a piercing cry, and all that exhaustion leaves you in that moment. Your eyes snap open, and you look across the room at Marco and the screaming baby that he holds in his arms. 

“Oh.”

You pry your hands from your boys and hold out your shaky arms, tears of elation in your eyes when Marco rounds the bed and offers you the bloody bundle. You feel something in your chest click into place when he settles the babe against your chest, and then Shanks and Miihawk are there, pushed close so that they can see, too. 

“A healthy girl. Already has a good set of lungs on her,” Marco says, and you raise the blanket that holds your daughter, cleaning off the gunk that clings to her little face. You smile when she opens her eyes, and then hear a gasp behind you. You look up to see Mihawk staring at their daughter with a rapturous look on his face, ringed eyes wide as he reaches out to gently rub his thumb over her cheek. 

“Your eyes, darling,” you say, and then you are wiping at her hair, expecting the red of blood to fall away and reveal dark hair, but the tint just doesn’t want to leave. You lick your lips, eyes going wide as you look at Shanks, “And your hair.” 

Marco watches the happy couple, throuple, really, with a small smile, though he is a little confused because that’s definitely not how genetics work. He wonders if it had something to do with you. Regardless, the three of you had made a beautiful child, and he was sure that she would turn heads when she got older. He steps forward with an apologetic look. 

“Not to break this up, but I need to stitch you up, _.” 

You grimace at what he says and reluctantly hand your daughter off to MIhawk who takes her with gentle hands. He steps back and Shanks takes his spot, offering you his hand when Marco crouches between your legs to clean you up. You wince at the feeling, but it is nothing compared to birthing your daughter. 

Mihawk stares down at the babe in his arms. He can’t seem to take his eyes off of her, for she is the sweetest, and most beautiful being he has ever laid eyes on. She is pale, fair-skinned like her uncle Tomura, but her eyes and hair were all his and Shanks. She was a perfect combination of the man and woman that Dracule loved, of all three of them. For the first time in decades, he feels his eyes grow wet, a lump in his throat as he holds his daughter close. He would burn the world for her if she so desired. 

“Mihawk,” you call to him softly, and he is at your side in an instant. You reach for him and pull him close so that you can press a kiss on his cheek. Shanks is next, and then the three of you are staring at the babe that rests in her father’s arms. She stares up at the blurry figures that she has felt all her life, garbles some nonsense, and promptly closes her eyes. You snort and Mihawk pulls away, reluctantly handing her over to Marco when the doctor asks for her. 

“I’ll just be in the other room. Just a quick check-up and I’ll clean her for you, too,” He assures them, and then he is gone, leaving the three of them alone. 

“How are you feeling, baby?” Shanks asks and crouches by your bedside, dark eyes curious and concerned. You give him a tired smile, eyes feeling heavy. 

“I’m okay. Exhausted and still hurting, but it’s not bad right now,” You murmur, and despite your tired mind, a thought pops up, “We never thought of any names.” 

Shanks laughs, the sound a little wet, and you look over to see tears in his eyes as he reaches out to cup your face in his hand, leaning in to press a kiss to your brow, “We didn’t did we?” 

“I did,” Mihawk says, and rolls his eyes when his two lovers give him a look, lips turning up in a tiny, bemused smile. 

“Care to share with the class?” Shanks grumbles, and Mihawk flicks the other man’s forehead in retaliation for the attitude. 

“Joyeuse,” He says as Marco enters the room, and you reach for your daughter, settling her against your chest and watching her latch with a fond expression, though your eyes widen when Mihawk continues, “Dracule Hibiscus Joyeuse.” 

“Bit of a mouthful, but I love it,” Shanks says, and you nod, still in a bit of a daze. You flick your eyes over at the redhead who is smiling so wide that it would blot out the sun, “We’ll call her Joy for short.” 

“Darling, what do you think?” Mihawk asks, and you can hear a hint of nervousness in his tone. Wanting to dispel that quickly, you smile up at him, eyes filling with tears once more. 

“It’s beautiful, but Dracule? Not Delemur?” 

He’d told you your family name on the night he had come clean about his connection to your past. You weren’t complaining, but you were just a little confused. You blink when he smiles down at you, leaning forward to kiss you before he pulls away. 

“Of course, darling. You will take my last name as well, once we find someone to bind us.” 

Bind us. 

“You mean you want to get married?” you blurt a little too loud, and wince when Joyeuse makes an unhappy sound before falling silent again as she nurses. 

Mihawk suddenly looks a bit taken aback, and you watch him lick his lips and stand straight. You realize that other than that awful day you sent them away, this was one of the only times you’ve seen the peculiar man nervous. 

“Yes, if that is agreeable to you.” 

Shanks can’t help but laugh at the scene before him. He and Mihawk had talked about this before, and since he didn’t really have a last name, it only made sense that you would take the warlord's name. 

“Look at what you’ve done, baby. Got the hawk all worked up,” He teases with a grin at the other man, “Relax baby, you know that she’ll say yes.” 

You don’t even have to think about it. You’ve imagined this far too many times to ever say no. 

“Of course, I’d say yes. Why would I not?” You ask, and the warlord looks away, a blush staining his cheeks. 

“Our past, my love. I would understand if you would not want to marry the man who lied to you for so long,” He says, and you soften immediately. You adjust Joyeuse in your hold and reach out to snag his hand, holding it tightly and bringing it up to kiss his knuckles. 

They had talked about their mistake of keeping secrets in the two weeks it had taken to make it to Sphinx Island. They had promised to never lie to you or each other, vowing that, even if it was something that would make the other mad or upset, it would be spoken about. 

“It would make me very happy to be your wife, Mihawk,” you say, and your tone is soft, but brokers no room for any kind of arguments. 

Shanks beams when he watches the warlord swoop down and seal his lips against your own in a kiss. It makes his chest alight with happiness to see the two of you and his daughter like this. He had a family now, and there was nothing in heaven or earth that he wouldn’t do for them.

You yawn loudly when Mihawk pulls away, feeling the exhaustion creeping up again. Your daughter has eaten her fill and you allow the warlord to take her away when you look at Shanks, brow furrowed. 

“Don’t you want to hold her?” 

The redhead licks his lips. He wants more than anything to hold his daughter, but he doesn’t think he would be able to do it properly or without hurting her. So he gives you a weary grin and gestures to the empty sleeve at his side, “I don’t think I can, sweetheart.” 

Dracule frowns, looking stern, “Nonsense. Sit, Shanks.” 

The redhead does as ordered quickly, recognizing that no-nonsense tone that his lover adopts when he refuses to back down on something. He steps closer and adjusts Shanks’ arm, and Marco helpfully hands over a folded towel to make a sort of nest in the crook of his arm before Mihawk carefully lays his daughter against the redhead’s chest. 

Shanks can’t help but hold his breath, eyes wide and fearful when she is sat down. He tightens his arm, worried that she might fall, but Joyeuse just makes tiny baby sounds and drools against his shirt, content as can be. He doesn’t realize that he is crying until his eyes go blurry, his lip tucked between his teeth to try and stop the sob that wants to wrack his chest. 

“Gods she’s so tiny, “ He whispers, and Mihawk snorts from where he stands behind him. He leans down to reach out, trailing the back of his knuckles along her cheek. Joy opens her eyes at the touch and glares up at her fathers, which only makes Shanks let out a wet snicker. 

“She already has your looks, Hawkeye.” 

You watch them from where you lay in the bed, heart light with contentment. You can’t help but think that her name fits your daughter. She would bring these two men so much joy in the years to come, and you couldn’t wait for the three of you to get back home and discover what parenthood entailed. However, thinking about your home makes your heartache. You would no longer be safe on your island. Too many people knew about it now, and you were certain that the Big Mom pirates had destroyed everything that you had worked so hard to build. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? Not in too much pain, are you?” Marco asked when he heard you sniffle from the bed. Shanks and Mihawk zeroed in when you sniffed again and raised a hand to wipe at your eyes. 

“It’s manageable right now. That’s not what I’m crying over. My home, my island isn’t fit to raise her, not anymore,” you say and by the looks on their faces, they knew it to be true too, “Where are we going to go?” 

You don’t think you could live on a ship, and while Gloom Island could have been an option once upon a time, Mihawk had gotten word that the warlords were to be disbanded after the mess that happened in Dressrosa. It was a relief that he and Perona hadn’t been there when the Navy had shown up to try and arrest him via Buster Call. It had infuriated the now ex-warlord to know that his home for the past decade had been destroyed, all that knowledge lost to the ages, all his worldly possessions lost to the sea. 

“You can stay here for a while? Sphinx is too poor to be on the navy’s radar, and the people here won’t pass up the added protection,” Marco suggests with a shrug, “Plus I’ll be able to keep an eye on you and Joy.” 

It’s not a bad idea, but it still wouldn’t be a long-term solution. Regardless, you gave Marco a kind smile and dipped your head in a nod. 

“Thank you, Marco. I’ll make sure they stay on their best behavior.” 

Shanks makes an affronted sound and Mihawk rolls his eyes at your quip, lips pursed in a pout, though he’d never call it one. 

“We’re not that bad,” Shanks grumbles petulantly, and his daughter fusses at the tone. He winces and drops his tone into a whisper, “Sorry sweetheart, your momma is being mean to your daddy.” 

You roll your eyes at them and share a look with the doctor who laughs and goes to step out of the room, “I’ll be back in a while. I’m going to see if I can’t find you a house to settle down in. I won’t be far if you need me.” 

-----

Marco indeed finds the four of you a house near the shore that’d been abandoned for a while. It needed some work done, but it wasn’t like the Red-Haired pirates were doing much right now and had gladly volunteered to fix it up. They had fallen head over heels for Joyeuse once they had been able to meet her. Marco had kept you in the small operating room for a week, just to make sure that you and your daughter were healthy enough to start moving around. 

You needed help, a lot of help actually, but Shanks and Mihawk jumped into action the second that they noticed you needed something. Joy grew stronger every day she was in the world, big golden, ringed eyes curious about everything around her. Her hair had darkened as well, and now was only a shade darker than Shanks’ own. You couldn’t help but wonder how else she would change as the years passed by. 

Mihawk and Shanks flanked the two of you as you waddled into your new home. Shanks’ crew had done a fantastic job with remodeling the house. It was quite a bit more modern compared to your cottage, but that didn’t bother you. You were just happy that you could sit down on a comfy couch while your boys took care of Joy. 

Yasopp, who had taken one look at her and burst into tears, blubbering about how cute Usopp had been when he was born, brought down your fur children, and they would finally be meeting your daughter. 

Hank carefully crept forward, nose sniffing loudly. He had known that you were carrying a pup, had known even before you did, and it filled the old dog with glee to know that you had finally given birth. He carefully climbed up the couch, his upper body close to his mother, and took in his new sister with big brown eyes, and then glanced up at you when your hand came down on his shaggy head. 

“This is Joy, Hank. You’ve gotta protect her like you did me, okay?” you whisper and the dog whines, nudging forward to sniff at the pup and memorize her scent like he has done for you and the two men who had become a part of their family. Hank would make sure that nothing would come to harm his baby sister, he was the eldest after all. 

A loud meow introduces his little brother, and Hank watches the orange fluff ball jump up on the couch, big golden eyes searching out their mother when he finally realizes that there is something in her arms. Sukuna eyes the babe, eyes narrowing as he flicks them up to you and yowles again. 

Joy grumbles and cracks her eyes open, meeting the gaze of the loud thing that wouldn't let her sleep. Sukuna and she stared at each other for a while, the cat slowly deciding that the kit wasn't too bad since she was being so quiet, and began to loudly pur. You can't help but laugh softly when Joyeuse goes straight back to sleep. 

You adjust your daughter so that you can scratch behind the cat's ears, and Sukuna just purrs louder for you. It makes you happy that they had accepted Joyeuse so quickly into the tiny pack that the three of you had been, and couldn't help but think about how much it's grown in the past couple of years. 

What once had been just you and Hank had turned into you Hank and Mihawk. And then he had brought in a tiny, angry kitten and an ornery goat. Shanks had come along as if he was always meant to find your tiny island and with him the gift of your chickens. There was just one thing that you felt that was missing. Your brother, Tomura. The man that you could hardly even remember. 

“Darling, is something wrong?” 

Mihawk's voice brings you out of your thoughts and you glance up to give him a small smile, shaking your head. 

“Nothing wrong, per se, but… Mihawk you told me about my brother. I want to meet him again. Joy should know her uncle.” 

The ex-warlord purses his lips. He hadn't mentioned the marine because he was selfish and wanted to keep you all to himself, but he should have known that you would ask about your brother at some point. 

“He is waiting for us at your island. I didn't want to overwhelm you with someone new after what happened,” He says and joins you on the couch, taking Joyeuse when you hand the babe over so that you can stretch your arms over your head. 

“Then I'll talk to Marco about my brother coming here,” you say, and Mihawk gives you a look over his daughter's head. 

“He is a vice-admiral in the navy, my love. Do you really think that would be wise?” 

You frown and cross your arms over your chest. You don't want to do anything to get Marco in any kind of trouble or put Sphinx in the eyes of the military, but Tomura was your brother. You couldn't just leave him out of your life, “Can I call him, at least?” 

“Who do you want to call, sweetheart? The most important people in your life are right here,” Shanks teases when he walks into the living room. He'd been busy catching up with Marco and getting the down low about what was happening around the island. Turns out not much. 

“My brother, Shanks. I want to get to know him again, and he deserves to know that he's got another family member,” you tell him and the redhead makes an ohhh sound, his dark eyes wide as he smiles. 

“Don't worry about that, baby. I called him before we even made it to Sphinx. He'll be here in a week or two,” Shanks says proudly, and shrugs at the annoyed look that Mihawk gives him, “We can't keep them apart forever, you know.” 

Mihawk sneers and rolls his eyes, “And why didn't you mention anything?” 

Shanks just beams and steps close to you, sliding his arm carefully around your stomach as he presses a kiss to the side of your head, “It wouldn't have been a surprise if I had.” 

You snicker and tuck yourself closer to the redhead, elated that you would see your brother in the next coming weeks. Your life has changed so much since meeting Dracule Mihawk, in ways that you'd never expected, but you wouldn't give it up for the world

Tag list: @writingmysanity @djbumblebee @goth-mami-writer @myradiaz @fluffybunnyu @bookandstar @foggyturtleknightangel @browneyedhufflepuff @anastasiyax @jaguarthecat @atricksterwithwings @black-swan-blog27 @breadedloafs @enpvrirnce @gottalovethefandom @mfreedomstuff @caniseethefourthsword @olenoname @glitterystarfishfestival

[kcrabb88]

QuinObi Fic Rec List

QuinObi week isn't until October, but like I did last year, I wanted to drop some of my favorite QuinObi fics to get y'all excited! This list is not exhaustive, just a starter, but I hope you'll enjoy!

Hush by @violentcheese: a gorgeous Padawan first kiss fic! Made me a bit teary, tbh.

Don't Waste Your Treat by @ninjigma: Obi-Wan and Quinlan are on a diplomatic mission. They bicker over a popsicle and are very into each other. This fic had me sweating. <3

Flu Season by @coruscantrhapsody: Padawan Obi-Wan has a huge crush on Quin (which is definitely returned). A QuinObi Week 2023 fic by my bestie

Reach For My Hand by jelucan: Quinlan was presumed dead but it turns out he wasn't. He and Obi-Wan wander through Coruscant and have feelings. This is one of my personal fave fics for these two.

With a Little Help From My Friends by @palfriendpatine66: Quin, Obi-Wan, and Siri are best-friends-with-benefits. A piece from last year's QuinObi week that I adored!

On Your Best Behavior by wanderingjedihistorian: Obi-Wan and Quinlan accidentally get married on a mission. Why not have a wedding night?

To Our Halcyon Days by @lothcatthree and @krispyscreams: Obi-Wan and Quin reunite during the empire when Quin finds out their son Cal is alive. A great and super romantic multi-chapter!!

Shaking From Holding You Back by @ashinaburrito: Obi-Wan rips Tarkin a new one when he's rude to Cody, and Quinlan thinks that's hot. Smut ensues in a closet.

Counting to Coruscant by @fanfic-phoenix. This whole series is WONDERFUL and has everything from Padawan Obi-Wan and Quinlan to their lives during the war (and the moments of romance they're able to snag) to the aftermath of Rako Hardeen. Super super recommend!

Red and Orange Beacons Go Forth by @ashinaburrito: Quinlan gets caught in a psychometric vision and Aayla calls Obi-Wan for help.

Betrayal by @brachiosaurus-on: Obi-Wan and Quinlan reunite in the OWK show era. Beautiful, Beatiful fic.

Ride Around the Moon for a Velvet Kiss by blackkat: Snarky and wonderfully in character smut set during the Clone Wars.

Stumbling on the Way Home by CapGirlCanuck: a comics based one-shot that pays homage to Obi-Wan and Quinlan's long friendship. Lovely.

The Beach by @lilywhoisapotato: Stranded on an uninhabited planet, Obi-Wan blames himself for their predicament. Luckily, Quinlan knows how to cheer him up.

Liability by KCKenobi: Quinlan takes care of Obi-Wan after Qui-Gon's death.

Everything They Shouldn't Be by @noncanonship: After Obi-Wan's Starfighter suffers an unplanned fall out of hyperspace, he finds himself stranded near Karfeddion, exactly where Quinlan Vos is on a longterm undercover mission. Obi-Wan intends to avoid Quinlan in order to protect his cover, but the Force has other plans.

I'm going to be annoying and include a few of my own QuinObi fics (there are many because I love these two but I won't list them all):

Kill the Lights: Fix-it that centers on changing the Fives incident in TCW. Quinlan searches for a captive Obi-Wan with Anakin, Padme, and the Jedi's help. Featuring huge amounts of QuinObi (with lore I created based lightly off the Orpheus and Eurydice myth, but happier in the end).

Blood Makes Noise: My QuinObi-centric AIDS Crisis AU set in 80s/90s New York.

After the War (Part the First): It's Quinlan who goes on the Rako Hardeen mission.

After the War (Part the Second): Obi-Wan and Quin reunite via the Hidden Path

Always a Little in Love: Post-Geonosis. Quinlan bursts into Obi-Wan's room to yell at him for almost getting killed. Obi-Wan wants to forget about the war in it's infancy. Feelsy smut ensues.

Forty Years of Knowing: Obi-Wan and Quin commit to each other and extremely tender smut happens. Set in my RoTS fix-it verse but can be read on it's own.

Shoulder the Sky Verse: My RoTS Fix-It verse, including the initial RoTS AU of the same name, and it's sequel, Whispers from the Dead, as well as several one-shots. STS features QuinObi friends-with-benefits-to-exclusivity and WFTD has them in a committed relationship (and said relationship is a big part of the fic).

[goddesspharo]

fic: rip it out and we'll restart it Top Gun: Maverick (Hangman/Phoenix)

"Comparatively, I'm a catch," Jake points out once they get back to his car and he holds open the passenger side door for her. "Comparatively, you're still an asshole," Natasha shoots back, but there is no real bite there. If anything, it makes Jake's smile grow wider. (Or: the one where Phoenix has an extremely protracted lapse in judgment.)

[shu-box-puns]

I never would have given you to them; not for anything

(Tsu’tey x Reader)

Part 1 -> Next Chapter 

If you prefer to read on Ao3, you can find the fic here!

Summary: The RDA unknowingly revives a traitor through Project Phoenix. 

Word Count: 11,251

Reader uses they/them pronouns.

NOTE: The term 'Zaza' is a gender neutral way to address a parental figure.

Connecting to the Tree of Souls was always bittersweet for Tsu'tey.

Eywa was a kind mother. For a few short moments, he could be reunited with everyone he had previously lost. He could ask Eytukan for guidance on being Olo’eyktan, or speak with Sylwanin when his grief threatened to overwhelm him.

And other times, Eywa would gift him a glimpse into a vision that could’ve been his reality, if events had played out differently. 

The phantom of HomeTree was booming with life. Those who lived there were distant and concealed from view by the colossal roots of the great tree or simply occupying the foliage beyond its shade. Tsu’tey found himself sitting upon a log, his knife in hand which he was using to shape an arrow head.

A fire roared at his feet, meat cooking over the flames whilst the joyous yells of children darted to and fro behind his turned back. He couldn’t help but smile softly to himself, reminded of the early years in Spider’s development when the boy had finally grown large enough to comfortably fit into an exo pack. Tsu’tey had been delighted, eager to take his son from the confines of the demon compound and let him loose on the clan.

Spider took to the outside like an ikran to the sky. Staring in wonder as Tsu’tey carried him into the heart of the village. Na’vi of all stations had cooed at him, offering Tsu’tey honest congratulations even if their eyes had held poorly concealed hesitance at the toddler giggling against his chest. 

Within the hour, Spider had become fast friends with Jake’s children - Eywa help him - and was gleefully dirtying his loincloth as they tumbled and played. 

“He has grown significantly.” A voice to his left suddenly commented, ripping Tsu’tey from his private musings. He made to turn to whoever was sat with him, but some untold force kept his gaze glued to the arrowhead he was carving. 

“Children tend to.” Tsu’tey responded easily, the English falling thick and accented off of his tongue. 

His secret companion merely hummed, leaning into his side. Tsu’tey caught sight of blue skin in his peripheral. Five fingered hands falling to demon style clothed knees. His expression tightened. Confusion swirling beneath his skin.

“A mighty warrior in the making.” The stranger praised, undercurrents of pride lacing their tone. “I am glad his aim has greatly improved.”

Tsu’tey lifted his gaze from the arrowhead as the words registered. His questioning response was halted by the sudden absence of the clan chatter and the crackling of the flames at his feet. His eyes flickered, expressing softening as he realised the scenery had changed.

Now, he and his companion sat on a tree branch overlooking the Omaticaya flight range. Targets lined the far perimeter, whilst na’vi of all ages stood in uniformed rows at increasing distances from the targets, their bows drawn. Tsu’tey’s gaze immediately zeroed in on Spider.

Here he was about twelve, Neteyam alongside him as the two practised in companionable silence. Despite being a full year younger, Neteyam easily towered over the older boy, his frame lean and long, whilst Spider had grown strong and thick in the shoulders. His son held his bow with ease, the strain long having lessened with hours of practice.

The presence at his side had shrunk somehow. The warmth no longer reached his shoulder. A soft brush of skin to his lower bicep indicating that the na’vi who had sat with him had shrunk to a more human stature.

Tsu’tey could not place who this was. They did not sound like Grace Augustine who possessed both avatar and human forms on the off chance she visited him in the tree. Nor had he befriended any of the scientists who possessed avatar bodies.

A celebratory whoop drew his attention back to Spider, who was receiving awed high fives from Neteyam. Glancing to the target, Tsu’tey swelled with pride at the three perfect bullseyes. 

He blinked, and he was in the old shack. Although in his present the stolen compound was overrun with wildlife and had fallen into disrepair, here, it looked well preserved. As fresh and disorganised as it had been the night the humans left for good. 

It looked homely. 

Lived in. 

He was sitting on a bunk much too small for his large frame with a baby carrier strapped across his chest. His son was nowhere to be seen in this particular vision, but as always, he felt no sense of panic within Eywa’s care. He simply observed the small room around him, noting that the presence at his side had disappeared with the flight range.

The messy sheets he sat on told of a good night’s rest. The military boots neatly lined up by the door and the camouflage jacket hanging on the back of it, reassuring him that whoever he was visiting was close by. 

Tucked under the window, the desk was a mess of coffee stained reports and various pens. Even from the other side of the room, he could make out the shakily written na’vi phrases repeated over several pages. He’d never seen his language written out before, since his people had no use for it, but somehow he instinctively knew the phrases.

Oel ngati kameie.

I see you.

Three words his mate had been practising behind his back. A secret he was very much aware of, but content to allow them to figure out. 

The sound of the door opening drew his attention from the desk, and he found said mate looming in the doorway, their son cradled to their chest. They looked exhausted but proud of themselves. Spider was sound asleep, nestled into their tanktop, with one chubby fist clenched tightly around the courting necklace Tsu’tey had presented them with several moons ago. 

“I finally got him to drop off.” His mate sighed happily as they stepped further into the room and quietly pulled the door closed behind them.

Tsu’tey could only hum. Greedily drinking in the sight of his mate and son. Gazing at the face that had been snatched from his too early, and the youth and innocence of Spider. He was sixteen now, years past infancy, but still Tsu’tey’s little boy. Whilst his mate was frozen in time. Forever held by Eywa.

“You good big guy?” The use of that ridiculous nickname snapped him back to the present. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

His lips stretched into a tight smile. The irony. 

“I am fine.” He insisted. His english heavily accented and rusty from disuse. Since Spider had become fully fluent in na’vi, he hardly ever had to use the demon tongue. But somehow, Eywa always switched them back to that language, despite having learnt plenty of na’vi through him.

Their proud grin dropped a fraction, their eyebrows drawing together. “Are you lying to me?”

He scoffed. “Olo’eyktan’s do not lie.” He said simply.

“You aren’t Olo’eyktan here.” They argued. Approaching him on quiet feet. 

Feeling called out, Tsu’tey had to work hard to keep his ears from flicking back in guilt. Instead, he chose not to respond as his mate stepped into his space. Their scent wafted over him as they expertly manoeuvred the slumbering infant into the net tied across Tsu’tey’s chest. The motion was practised; familiar in a way his mate hadn’t had time to master.

Spider went easily. Instinctively curling into his father’s warmth and finding something new to latch onto. This time, Tsu’tey was not fast enough to keep his son from grabbing onto one of his braids. Even in sleep, Spider yanked hard on the braided lock of hair, making Tsu’tey wince. His mate chuckled softly, reaching up to carefully untangle Spider’s fist, to which the infant immediately curled his fingers around their index instead. 

The scene was domestic. Something he had mourned when his mate had passed.

“You look tired.” His mate stated, those eyes studying his expression. 

Tsu’tey could only nod. What use was lying to a memory anyway?

“I am.”

“You should rest.” 

They titled their head, and Tsu’tey knew this was a battle he had no hope of winning. “Spider is waiting for you.” They said.

Carefully, they raised their free hand to hold his cheek, their expression worried. He leaned into the touch, savouring the warmth of their tiny hand against his cool skin.

His words were slow to come back to him. But they waited patiently, idly tracing the stars of his freckles as he gathered himself, his breathing uneven. “No. I want to stay here, with you.” 

There was a power behind their words now. A greater knowledge they should not be privy to. Tsu’tey knew this wasn’t his mate speaking to him anymore. Despite looking and sounding like his human, this was Eywa gently nudging him. Reminding him that he had responsibilities to attend to and a son waiting beyond her realm.

He followed his mate’s nod towards the window where he found a sixteen year old Spider standing patiently at the treeline, looking longingly towards the compound. He knew without looking down that the infant was gone from the sling at his chest. His son wore his exopack and was wringing his hands, head darting too and fro in search of someone. Rocking on the balls of his feet as often did when unsettled.

Tearing his gaze from his son, Tsu’tey found and held eye contact with the Great Mother disguised as his lost mate. “Will you allow him to visit today?” He asked.

“He will See soon.” Eywa replied in their voice, untold power building behind every word. 

His mate’s hands were small but strong as they took him by the wrists and helped him rise from his seat on the bed. “He is waiting.” They informed him, gently guiding him away from the desk littered in papers and towards the closed door. Tsu’tey’s heart ached at the familiar gesture. This part was always the hardest.

“He misses them.” He told Eywa and she could only nod in acknowledgement. “He watches their video logs.” He insisted, stomach sinking at the thought of his mate not knowing how badly Spider loved and missed them. That they might believe they had faded from the child’s memory, when in truth they’d always played such a crucial role. “He asks about them, always. Demanding memories, facts. Anything.”

“He will See soon.” Eywa repeated, and Tsu’tey knew she understood. 

They squeezed his hand and he realised he was standing before the door with the boots neatly lined up beside it. He glanced at them one last time, absorbing all their little details and committing them to memory. His mate smiled at him one last time, before they dropped his hands and stepped back. 

“I know.”

“You will See soon.” Eywa assured him, but Tsu’tey was no Tsahik and did not understand how to interpret the phrase. So he simply nodded.

>_&lt;

They said no more as he raised his hand to push the door open, and in kind, Tsu’tey could only nod as his words got lost in his throat. Instead of responding, he turned and stepped out of the bedroom into the hall. 

The sounds of the forest came back to him slowly. He felt the change of the humidity as Eywa gently returned him to his body. He sat crossed legged under the glowing vines of the Tree of Souls, his heartbeat still pounding in time to the gentle pulses of the ancient tree. Animals moved in the bushes behind him, uncaring of his presence and content to go about their evening. 

He felt the familiar dry, flaky sensation of mourning paint running from the top of his brow down the line of his nose to his chin. His bullet scars felt stiff against his skin with every deep breath. Whilst a body leant into his side. Small and warm in a way that na’vi were not. 

Slowly, Tsu’tey peeled his eyelids open and glanced down to find Spider curled into him. His exopack was digging uncomfortably into Tsu’tey’s ribs, but he didn’t care. Now sixteen, his boy leaned into his side and had dragged Tsu’tey’s arm out of his lap to rest across his back. Keeping him safe and secure whilst his father communed with the ancestors. 

His tail swayed happily at the adorable sight. 

Sensing a shift in him, Spider groggily raised his head from Tsu’tey’s rib cage. His eyes were unfocused as he lifted his heavy head, only to find Tsu’tey already looking at him. He blinked slowly, drawing in a deep breath as he stretched and sat up. 

<”Who was it today?”> Spider asked in fluent na’vi, his tone heavy with sleep. 

Tsu’tey felt the corner of his mouth stretch upwards into an adoring smile. His boy was so precious. <”Zaza.”> He replied simply, to which Spider returned his smile. 

<”It is late.”> Spider agreed, to which Tsu’tey playfully ruffled his braids, ears pricked at the boy’s mischievous grin. Carefully, Tsu’tey reached up and disconnected his kuru from the tree, sending a prayer of thanks to Eywa for her gift.

<”And where did you end up going?”>

<”The old shack.”> Tsu’tey replied simply, reaching up to disconnect his tswin from the Tree of Souls. <”They were trying to convince you to go to bed.”>

<”We should return to the village.”> 

<”Only if you carry me.”> Spider stated, lifting his arms expectantly to Tsu’tey who rolled his eyes.

<”You have been hanging around Lo’ak too much. So whiny.”>

<”You are old enough to carry yourself.”>

<”But it’s late!”> Spider retaliated. 

<”Don’t let him hear you say that or he’ll become ten times worse.”> Considering the boy was Jake’s son, Tsu’tey didn’t doubt it. 

>_<

The last thing you remembered was lying down in a link unit. 

The smell of silicone had been poisonously strong in the tight space as one of the scientists closed the lid on you with a firm click. Your heart had been pounding, your plan to escape and meet up with Jake plaguing your mind. Distracting you from the half assed explanation of why Selfridge had ordered all military personnel into the link rooms.

You weren’t sure if you made it out of Hell’s Gate that night, let alone if Trudy had managed to drive you to the secret compound. If you’d been caught, or if your squad had noticed your absence. 

Not that any of it mattered now, considering you were in outer space and the Battle for The Tree of Souls had ended fifteen years prior. 

Now, you stared blankly at the pre-recorded video of yourself in that same laboratory. In the video, you were decked out in your usual, military attire and were horribly explaining what was going on. Floating in zero gravity, your hand - now blue and much, MUCH bigger than you were used to - kept you in place before the monitor with an unnervingly tight grip.

The you of the past wasn’t focused on their task. You could tell from the shift of their eyes as marines moved around them behind the camera. In a similar situation, your nerves were also all over the place. Your eyes were constantly darting around the small bunk room as your tail thrashed. So many enemies in such a small place.

It had been a fucking shock to wake up disoriented on a small hospital bed with a heart monitor beeping away in the background. Only for a massive, blue forehead to dart into your line of sight, dragging with it, a pair of large, unblinking eyes. You screamed, flailing weakly at the enormous bald head of Lyle Wainfleet.

You recalled blinding rage in your most recent memory of this man.

He had grinned at you, yelling loudly, “morning Private!” 

You had punched him, that past anger carrying over as you shoved him away with an additional well placed kick to the stomach and a ferocious hiss. Movement in the corner of your vision kept you from following him down, intending to choke the life out of his stupid, grinning face.

Alexander had been quick to grip your bicep, holding on tightly. He was smiling at you. And it was fucking disorientating to see his face on a na’vi body, his eyes too far apart and his nose flatter than you were used to. It stunned you into stillness.

On the floor, Lyle had chuckled good naturedly and complimented you on your improved strength. 

You hadn’t responded, your eyes widening as you took in your reflection in the one way window. It was you, but it also wasn’t you staring back. 

On the monitor, the human version of you scratched the back of their neck, clearly reading off of a script to the side of the camera, blurting some bullshit about the RDA storing your memories and implanting them in an avatar embryo. Your expression remained neutral as you glanced down to past-you’s throat. 

Mostly hidden beneath the hem of their camouflage shirt, you caught sight of a pretty little choker, the polished beads catching the laboratory lights. It was simple in design, layered three times tall with long, brown beads as the centrepiece, framed either side by carefully selected circular red beads.

Subconsciously, your blue hand reached to your own throat, frowning at the naked skin only for your fingers to catch on the metal chain of your dog tag. It sent a stab of phantom pain through your chest, which you were quick to rub away.

You remembered who had given it to you. What he had been to you. But you didn’t know how it had ended. If the RDA had resurrected you for this stupid little project, then chances were, the human version of you was dead. 

You had no idea who had died during the Battle of The Tree of Souls - clearly a lot of you judging by the number of recoms the RDA had paid for. There was no solid knowledge on how far the RDA had won, or how much of Pandora they had destroyed. For all you knew, everyone could be dead. The Omaticaya clan wiped off the face of the planet. 

The windows of your little bunk room overlooked the vast embryo tanks of the recoms. As you half-listened to the video, you watched a trio of three scientists carefully extracting the body, of who you recognised to be the na’vi version of Mansk, from the closest tank. They took great care in cleaning the embryonic fluid from his airways before flying the body out of sight through an open door. 

/Remember Private,/ the video stated, drawing your attention back once more, /the mission is not over./ There was something unreadable in human you’s eyes, their rage momentarily broadcasted across the screen. /Fight hard. Make me proud./ 

They couldn’t see you, but you found yourself nodding anyway. 

Those words gave you a direction. Past you didn’t believe the fight was over, so you just had to pick up where you left off. And to do that, you needed to get back into the forest.

>_<

The RDA had made special uniforms for all the recoms and required you to be dressed and ready to move into the base upon landing. Their first mistake was willingly handling you a gun. Evidently, they had never recognised you as a traitor. You’d died with them still believing you were loyal. Now, you would exploit that weakness.

For now, you decided to play nice until they willingly unleashed you into the forest. You made jokes with Lyle, established yourself as one of the team. Laughing with the other recoms about escaping death, making wild accusations about what you’d do the next time you saw that traitor; Jake Sully. 

It was easy. As it always had been. 

As if nothing had changed. Like you were back in school and you’d all come back from the summer having had growth spurts and been up to god knows what.

As a squad, you fitted together effortlessly. Falling into a routine of sleeping in the dorms, getting up early for drills and training, only to spend the evenings goofing around. The recom bodies were years younger, practically brand new, so the energy required for such shenanigans was effortless. 

Within a week, it felt like nothing had changed. The squad was blissfully unaware of what you had done in your past life behind their backs. To them, you were still their comrade. 

Initially, you’d attempted to keep your distance.

The forest called to you. It’s pull even stronger now with the additional na’vi instincts, and the small hallways of Bridgehead that were clearly not built with you in mind. You felt out of place in its tiny, box-like layout. 

Your comrades weren’t too sneaky in trying to ease your nerves and welcome you into their chaotic escapades. 

Lyle had always been an overbearing extrovert, chomping at the bit to challenge you into pushing yourself harder and harder during drills. 

Mansk, in his own quiet way, insisted on dragging you to the kitchen every mealtime to assist him with cooking. He stated that he had no idea what to do with the new Pandoran ingredients required for their recom bodies, but you could tell he was bullshitting you to keep you out of your head. It worked; mostly. 

Whilst Z-Dog had taken it upon herself to make sure your shooting skills were up to scratch - they were. And had sparked many competitions out in the shooting range.

Even the colonel seemed to have caught on. And that man was in no form of the imagination a family man. He was a leader. Your boss. The man you had to impress or risk getting killed. But recently, he’s been acting like some weird version of a father figure. Offering silent nods and backhanded compliments in his usual condescending tone whilst observing your training with your comrades. It would always be paired with a playful smack to the shoulder or a rough ruffle of your hair whilst the squad sniggered.

It was easy to remember why you’d stuck with them for so long. Because despite their missions and the people they killed, they had been your family on Pandora since you’d woken up from cryo sleep. A reluctant one. A ragtag bunch of trigger happy idiots, but they’d always watched out for you.

You also knew that they would kill you if they ever found out about your little personal mission. They made you feel safe within Bridgehead, but you knew they would turn on you instantly. 

Lyle wouldn’t hesitate to cuff you and drag you to the colonel. Whilst Quaritch would go real quiet, ordering you to hand over your gun which he would use to shoot you on the spot. Z-Dog would make it look like an accident, whilst Mansk would hide behind his sunglasses and deal with business himself, stealing your dog tags to take back to the colonel.

It was imperative you remained vigilant. If anyone remembered or found out, you were fucked. So you had to get out. Fast. At the first opportunity. You could figure it out from there.

>_<

The moment the samson chopper landed in the undergrowth of the rainforest, you leapt out. Lyle was hot on your tail, peeling away from your side to secure the perimeter as the helicopter finished landing. 

You didn’t bother pretending to be scoping the landscape. 

The hum of the forest had grown steadily stronger throughout the trip, and now it slid through you like a melody. Calling to you more strongly than you’d ever felt. You took in greedy lungfuls of the damp, humid forest air. The scents of dew and vegetation invaded your nose, a world away from the canned air the recoms were forced to breathe in Bridgehead. Your ears swivelled towards every little sound, tail swaying to show content despite the mission ahead. Pandora was as gorgeous as she had ever been. The dappled sunlight peeking through the trees as the exotic fragrance of the plants filled the air. 

As a human, it had never been this pretty. Behind an exo pack, you had never been able to smell the world, whilst the sights had been smudged by the acrylic screen. 

This was freeing on an entirely new level.

Someone smacked you upside the head, abruptly shattering the nostalgia of finally returning to the forest. You choked, spinning in place and immediately stood to attention under the Colonel’s unimpressed glare. “What are you playing at Private?” He barked.

You could see the rest of the squad pretending not to look your way. Z-Dog and Walker had promptly turned their backs, clinging to each other as if it was the funniest thing in existence. 

“Apologies sir, I got excited.” You replied sheepishly. "Needed to stretch my legs."

“Focus!” Quaritch stressed with an eye roll. 

“Yes, sir.”

He nodded once before motioning to the others and leading the way into the undergrowth. 

You fell into line, gun aimed on your surroundings as the squad moved further and further away from base. 

Within the hour, the squad stumbled upon a broken AMP suit collapsed in front of an abandoned compound. The building looked like one of the remote link compounds the scientists used to use during avatar exertions. What it was doing so far away from its assigned location, you had no idea.

Quaritch immediately issued orders for the site to be secured. Whilst Z-Dog investigated the building, the rest of the squad fanned out into the clearing. Half went to search the undergrowth, whilst you remained nearby, eyes more focused on the compound than the forest.

The colonel and Wainfleet remained close to the AMP suit, quietly analysing the corpse impaled within the ribcage of the dismantled robot. 

You swept close on your return pass, ears pricked as Quaritch glared daggers at the skull. Peering over his shoulder, your eyes widened at the pair of na'vi arrows jutting out of moss covered bone and the scar of a viperwolf scratch carved into the skull.

Quaritch's corpse.

And whoever had got him had been merciless in finishing him off.

The sight made you uneasy. Reminding you of the threats Pandora possessed. You were glad when a shout from the forest and the call for backup drew you from the suit.

No one knew how long the kids had been there. Whether they’d gotten curious and followed from the moment the samson touched down, or if they had been lingering around the shack. Either way, the petrified scream of the youngest girl had drawn the rest of your squad to the scene. 

There were three na’vi kids in total, and one human child. All held hostage by a recom, whilst Quaritch interrogated each of them. You watched the scene from the sidelines, assuming Quaritch would decide they weren’t worth it and let them go. 

But when the na’vi boy swore at him and Quaritch grinned with a simple, ”you’re his.”

Jake’s, you realised. 

Your heart began to pound as you rounded the rear of the group, eyes narrowed as you took in the side profile of the boy. His too small eyes, the slope of his jaw, the fifth finger on each hand. At a glance, a full blooded na’vi. But you’d been around avatars long enough to pick out the little imperfections. The broader set to his shoulders, the lower position of his kuru that indicated human blood somewhere in the line. 

Quaritch was precise in his motions. Taking the kid’s kuru in hand to begin interrogating him. The colonel was rough with him. Spitting sharp commands before yanking his knife from his thigh strap. The boy’s eyes widened a fraction. You saw the raw fear swimming within them as he stared blankly up at the snarling colonel. Refusing to back down. Refusing to waver. 

Quaritch’s expression tightened as he raised the knife a fraction. Logically, you knew the first strike would be a fake, to scare the boy into spilling information with minimal effort. You were lurching forward half a step, ears fanning wide in alarm before you could stop yourself. 

The motion of that knife froze mid air, a testament to the Colonel’s reflexes as his burning eyes flickered to you. You made an effort to smooth out your microexpressions, hands limp at your side instead of reaching for a weapon like you so desperately wanted to. Something in the kid’s face had made something tight and protective flare up between your ribs, and the Colonel had noticed. 

Quaritch’s gaze was stern as shook his head in disappointment. “Don’t go getting soft on me, Private.” He reminded, grasp shifting on the kid’s kuru. “I know you had a soft spot for them back in the day, but none of that bullshit now.”

“Sorry sir.” You grit out, but didn’t retreat. He glared at you, you maintained steady eye contact until Wainfleet pulled Quaritch’s attention to the older na’vi girl. He had her fingers splayed for the colonel to see, chuckling at her five fingers. 

Their conversation quickly dissolved into the back of your mind as Quaritch handed the na’vi boy off, putting blessed distance between the kid and his knife. 

Tracking the Colonel’s movements as he approached the older girl, you found your attention drawn by the human boy. You blinked at his intense gaze, at the storm of unexplainable emotions swimming behind his eyes that you felt dizzy just looking at him. Despite his face being locked away behind an exopack, his gaze was no less piercing. He seemed to see you. 

The squint of his eyebrows seemed to suggest he saw you. Not a soldier. Not a recom. Just you. As if he could see beneath the scientifically created body to the memory chip beneath, to what remained of your soul.

But that was probably just you projecting.

To distract yourself from the tightening of your chest, you also studied him as your comrades kept interrogating the children. Their voices grew distant as you inspected the blue stripes painted across tanned skin. The traditional Omaticayan weaving style of his armband as well as the songcord attached to the hem of his loincloth. 

Your eyes caught on the necklace at his throat. A style that matched the one your human body wore in the video. Down to the brown and red beads. The familiar weaving style. Even at this distance, you recognised Tsu’tey’s handiwork. 

And whilst it reassured and relieved you that he was still alive, that somehow, in some way, this child had a piece of him, you were confused. How had he gotten his hands on one of Tsu’tey’s pieces?

Then he steeled himself. Quaritch’s bulk warmed your back, his shadow falling over your left arm. In a shockingly gentle tone, Quaritch asked for the boy’s name, and surprisingly, he gave it.

”Spider Socorro.” He blurted in strained english. 

Your ear flickered back at the colonel’s sharp inhale. “Miles?” 

Spider straightened, chin lifted in defiance. “Nobody calls me that.”

Quaritch’s expression was unreadable. He didn’t bother to respond and stepped away to talk into his neck piece. He didn’t go far and simply turned his back, speaking to Ardmore as the squad shifted uneasily. 

The kids hissed as the recoms began moving them towards the compound where the shuttle would more easily be able to let down the ropes. Your stomach tightened at the thought of dragging them back with you. To know how they felt and be unable to offer sympathy.

Quaritch motioned to the children. ”Keep hold of ‘em. Shuttle will be here in ten.”

Your stomach dropped. Not the shuttle. Not yet. You couldn’t stomach the idea of going back to Bridgehead after this. After such a short taste of freedom. 

”Colonel.” You said loudly, making the man pause midstep. He levelled you with an unreadable look as you struggled to find your voice. “These kids are useless to us.”

As soon as the words left your lips, his expression visibly shut off and you knew you would not be able to get through to him. “I’m not gonna repeat myself, Private.” He snapped, pulling rank to put you in your place. You squared up to him. Chin lifted.

A distant bird call had your ears pricking. It was short. A burst of a sound. It had the kids straightening, all their ears fanning towards the sound. 

The bird called again. That one note echoing through the trees.

Shifting uneasily, your eyes followed the direction it had come from, momentarily breaking eye contact. Quaritch smirked as if he’d won a great battle. “Take the na’vi boy.” He ordered, motioning to the kid who was promptly handed over, and then raised his voice to the squad. “Into defensive positions!”

The group fell into formation as the sun began its nightly cycle behind the moon, bringing with it a rain storm. The boy’s neural whip between your fingers quickly grew saturated, making your weak grip slip with every sharp movement he would make. That bird call did not grow distant or stop. In fact, you could’ve sworn it was getting closer.

There was a moment of stillness. The forest holding its breath as the recoms kept whispering to each other, kept moving noisily through the undergrowth. Blind to the silent warning. 

You held your breath, going unnaturally still as the boy in front of you did the same.

There was a cut off shout. An explosion of movement near the main body of the group.

Keeping your position, your head snapped towards the sound. Mouth going dry at the na’vi arrow protruding from Fike’s skull. It had embedded itself into his eye socket, almost straight through.

Whatever was making that sound had clearly found the squad. And it wasn’t pleased.

As the group erupted into chaos, you saw your chance. Loosening your grip on the kid’s kuru, you slowly stepped back, praying the steady movements would not draw that hunter’s eye to your form. The kid spun to face you, wrists bound, looking wide eyed and terrified. 

You raised your hands in surrender, head dipping. <”Get out of here.”> You hissed, nodding to the trees. 

His ears fanned wide as a satellite. Momentarily frozen in time. Eyes studying your own for the trick.

A gun went off at his back, snapping him out of it. More arrows were fired and more recoms died. 

He turned his back to you, and with a burst of speed began shepherding his little sister towards the treeline. The girl went easily, grabbing at his bound wrists and dragging him away. 

You kept your attention on their backs, hand hanging close to your gun in case someone turned their attention on you. 

The recoms were dying in disorganised clusters. The smart ones like Wainfleet and Z-Dog had already taken cover behind trees as the onslaught of arrows threw everyone else out of formation, causing them to scramble for cover. It gave you a sick sense of satisfaction. 

A shout drew your attention. 

Walker had the older girl by her kuru after she’d tried to make a break for it with Spider. She struggled as she yanked her back, her gun useless in her focus on keeping hold of her. 

Your gaze narrowed. Your rifle was in your hands before you could think to check if anyone was looking. The trigger was smooth under your finger. And with a light squeeze the machine roared to life and shot a hole through the tree to her left. 

Walker shrieked, hand spasming in fear as she instinctively let go of the girl’s neural whip. Spider was quick to grab her arm and run away, whilst an arrow found its mark in the recom’s chest. She collapsed in a heap. Dead on impact.

You grimaced. 

The rain muffled your footsteps as you carefully retreated into the shadows of the trees. Thankfully, the squad was too preoccupied to notice your silent escape. 

You felt like a traitor for withdrawing into the forest quietly. Which was funny considering that’s what you were. Your ears were pricked and your body low. Eywa must have wanted you to succeed because no arrow pierced your back. 

The screaming from the small clearing had begun to die down now, but was quickly replaced by the sound of a machine gun going off. Definitely Mansk’s hand, he had always been quick to react in any situation. You quickened your pace, knowing the distance those things could reach. 

The aim was to get as much distance between you and the squad as possible. Then, you’d tear off any and all equipment that would hinder your survival out in the forest until you stumbled across a clan and could ask for uturu. The word and its meaning came to you from a distant memory. A simpler time when Grace had been ranting about some new discovery she’d observed out in the field whilst you’d simply been trying to microwave your dinner. 

One of the explosions went off a little too close to you. Making your pace falter as your head snapped up to watch the branches above burst into flames. You squinted as a figure got thrown clean off by the blast. They seemed to collide with every branch and bush in existence on the way down, screaming the whole way.

<”SPIDER!”> Yelled the older girl from before, appearing over the lip of the branch but not daring to jump after him.

Instinctively, you leapt forward, gun falling back on its strap as your arms came up to catch the falling kid. He crashed into your embrace with a punched out wheeze. Blood oozed from many cuts, whilst his back was warm to the touch, not burnt, but still caught by the flames. 

Another explosion went off, spurring you back into motion. You tried to set the kid down, but he groaned painfully, clutching at your bullet proof vest as his legs failed to hold his weight. 

“Shit.” You cursed under your breath. Glancing back to the branch, you realised the girl was still there. Still watching your every move. And still way too close to Quaritch and his squad. To the inbound airship. 

Shifting the kid so he was supported by one of your arms against your body, you strained to relieve your feet of the heavy duty avatar boots. The laces were slippery from the rain, slithering out of your grasp and making you growl lowly to yourself. It felt like hours, but it could’ve only been seconds before you were barefoot, your shoes and socks discarded in the undergrowth. 

”Hold on tight!” You instructed the kid, who dutifully wound his shaking legs around your ribcage and hooked his arms around your neck. You supported his back with one arm whilst you scrambled to begin climbing back up the hill he’d just tumbled down.

The soil was loose from the rain. The bushes offering no firm support due to your weight, their roots easily giving way if you dared hold onto them for support. 

You hadn’t climbed anything in this body yet. With the base possessing stairs, and your memories of climbing trees locked away in a past life, there was no real need to. And yet, it came easily to this body. As if it had been born to scale the trees of the Pandoran rainforest despite being grown by aliens in a test tube. 

The girl was quick to grab the back of your bullet proof vest once you were high enough. Heaving you up onto the branch with her whole body thrown back. Curling your toes into the uneven bark, you swayed in place, tail compensating for your shit balance. ”We need to move.” You insisted, once again readjusting your grip on the shivering child in your arms.

She nodded dutifully. ”This way.” You kept a hand on her bicep to steady her as she took off down the branch, leading you away from the gunfire. 

With practised ease, she reached the end of the branch and smoothly dropped to the forest floor before scrambling away. You were slower in following, your body protesting the intense movements before your knees groaned at the sloppy landing. To his credit, Spider didn’t complain as the jerky ride, his eyes half closed behind his mask. 

You pushed through the bushes to find the three na’vi kids waiting by some ikran. Eying the beasts wearily, you slowed your pace, listening to the older girl reassure her siblings with soft words at your approach.

You needed to be quick. The owner of those arrows would be returning for their kids soon. And whether or not it was Jake, they’re bound to kill you on sight without checking your face.

”He’s wounded. You must get him to the Tsahik quickly.” You explained as you approached, dropping into a crouch to set Spider down gently at the kids’ feet. He protested again, putting up a valiant fight to keep a hold of you, but you were stronger than him. Your touch was firm as you removed his limbs from you and sat him down.

Kiri was quick to drop to his level, frowning hard at his bloodied appearance. Feeling sorry for the wounded kid, you dared to take a couple of extra seconds pulling out a knife from your belt to cut him free.

He pouted as he rubbed the circulation back into his wrists. Those piercing eyes darting all over your face.

You turned to leave, but the youngest kid was quick to waddle up to your side, her bound wrists extended. ”Can you cut me loose too?”

”I /really/ need to go.” You reply softly, before cutting her loose anyway.

You shifted back, only for the older pair to immediately extend their arms expectantly. You audibly groaned, before reaching for the boy since he was closest. 

”Zaza?” Spider croaked, making your brows furrowed at the odd word. Around you, the older kids had gone unnaturally still. <”Is that you?”>

”Zaza?” You repeated, finding the word felt odd on your tongue. It sparked a distant memory, of a late night sprawled on a bunk with someone beside you. Someone tall and distracted. The memory brought with it a sense of dread; a distant threat. You discarded that train of thought before it could distract you for too long.

<”It can’t be.”> The na’vi girl commented, and now it was her turn to begin studying you. 

”I don’t know what that means.” You pleaded, hands frozen in time, the knife still poised. A headache was beginning to form between your eyes, and your stress levels were incredibly high, but no one was giving you a straight answer. All you knew for certain was that you didn’t recognise this boy, and yet, he looked at you as if he knew you. 

<”Holy shit.”> Was all Spider replied with, slumping against the forest floor. 

<”No way.”> The na’vi boy agreed with a laugh. He was grinning hard, ears perked. 

His younger sister looked as confused as you felt. Whilst the older girl was inspecting you in a way similar to how Grace used to look at something that deeply fascinated her.

Out of nowhere a large, calloused hand wrapped around your shoulder, yanking you back and away from the kids. The hand moved with the momentum, throwing you off balance to land hard on your back. You gasped loudly, your knife flying away into the bushes. The kids were already yelling as you struggled to gather your bearings.

The barrel of an old model RDA rifle came into focus, inches from your face, making you gulp loudly. Following the line of the weapon, your gaze travelled up a blue arm to a scowling face that you hadn’t seen in decades.

<”JAKE DON’T!”> Spider yelled. Despite the frantic edge in his voice, he remained unmoving. His eyes as large as the moon as he stared unblinkingly up at the na’vi’s turned back. 

<”DAD! NO!”> The oldest girl shrieked, clumsily shoving her bound hands into the na’vi’s stomach, her eyes wide and pleading. 

The boy was quick to jump to your defence. <”They helped us escape Dad- SIR! Don’t!”> 

<”DADDY!”> The youngest shrieked, joining in at her older siblings’ reactions. She promptly latched herself onto his leg, clingy tightly and making his strong stance waver. If you weren’t seconds from dying - again - it would’ve been a comically domestic scene. 

You shifted your gaze back to the man in question. Jake looked different. He was older now. Tired. Blue. Very fucking blue. His expression was aged, his hair in dreadlocks. You barely recognised him. 

Movement over his shoulder brought your gaze to yet another kid. Older than the others, he shared the same hard expression as his father, an arrow notched and reading in his bow. Clearly, there was no chance of escape. If Jake missed you by some miracle, that boy would finish the job for him. 

Jake hadn’t lowered his gun. He was still studying you, blatantly ignoring his kids as his narrowed eyes swept over the planes of your face. The weight of the stare was heavy as his frown deepened. 

Somehow, you managed to unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth, terrified but fucking estatic that he was alive. ”Long time no see, marine.”

No reaction. The gun didn’t lower. His expression didn’t change. Remaining cold and closed off. 

Your smile faltered as you realise he probably didn’t recognise you. You expected the gun to be shoved back against you, for a bullet to shoot through your body and for you to die again. 

Nothing happened. 

Then something seems to click. ”Impossible.” Is all Jake said, and he lowered his weapon. The kids collectively breathed out and moved out of his way. 

His brow was furrowed now as he dropped into a crouch. Jake loomed over you, his shadow blocking out the moon as his arm shot forward to grab at the front of your bullet proof vest to yank it down. You jerked, instinctively growling at him as his large hand grabbed your dog tag chain and pulled it out of hiding. The chain pulled taught as he dragged you in by the neck, in turn, Jake stooped lower, eyes squinting to read the printed metal in the pathetic light of the forest. 

He sucked in a breath. <”What kind of sick-”> He cut himself off with a swear, dropping the tag like it had burned him. His eyes shone with a dense swirl of emotion when he caught your gaze again, his voice punching out of him in a yell. ”You should be dead!”

Your expression furrowed. ”Sorry to disappoint?”

He cursed again. <”Kids, get to the ikran. Your mother should be waiting for you.”> None of them moved. Jake growled. <”Did you hear?”>

You could make a break for it right now. Roll onto your stomach and dart off into the forest whilst he was preoccupied. The boy with the bow had loosened his arrow when Jake had dropped the gun from your face. But there was no guarantee he wouldn’t put a bullet between your shoulders for your hard work. 

In another life, you had been friends; comrades. But now, he was a stranger. And you were decked out in enemy gear. 

The heat of the jungle was getting to you now. Causing sweat to bead on your brow and moisture to collect under the heavy, bullet proof vest clutching tight to every movement of your torso. The military grade trousers clung uncomfortably to your legs, your boots long gone but your feet weak and vulnerable against the rough terrain of the jungle floor. 

In contrast, Jake was in his element. Adorned in traditional Omaticayan attire and walking around barefoot without an issue. 

<i>Private!</i> Quaritch’s calm voice over the com sent chills down your spine, making you stiffen. <i>Private! Do you read me?</i>

You dared not respond. Jake was still studying you. Those unnatural glowing eyes pinning you in place.

<i>Y/n! Dude, you alive!</i> Lyle’s loud voice had you wincing. Jake’s head snapped down at the sound, ears fanning wide as Lyle kept trying to coax you into responding. Making your insides twist tighter and tighter. 

You’d been hoping for a clean break that would spare your conscience. They weren’t supposed to have noticed your absence yet. 

Fuck, Quaritch was gonna kill you for getting cornered by Jake. That is if Jake didn’t kill you first.

You were so caught up in your musing that you didn’t notice the man in question had moved, until a hand clamped hard around your queue, snapping your head back from the harsh yank. The sound you let out could never have been produced by a human. It echoed through the trees, making your ears flatten.

Jake paid you no mind as he harshly dragged you to your feet. 

”Jake!” Spider yelled at him, eyes hardened. 

The marine waved him off as you struggled to comply, your balance all thrown off and mud clinging to your ass and back. His movements were sharp, making you gasp. In one swift motion, he dug his finger under your earpiece and tossed it away into the undergrowth. 

”Jesus, you’ve gotten cranky in your old age.” You complained, struggling to relieve the pressure on your kuru.

Jake let out a surprised burst of air that could’ve been a laugh. ”Glad to see whatever they’ve done to you hasn’t dimmed your humour, Private.”

”Fuck off with that military shit.”

He kicked at your calf, tripping you into walking faster. Snapping your teeth at him, you followed the sound of the kids retreating into the undergrowth. Jake’s grip was painful on your kuru, but he was no longer using it to guide you along like a misbehaving horse, so you would take it.

”You started it.” He blurted in that typical knee jerk reaction of his. You huffed at the familiarity of it. ”Now start walking.”

”You’re not seriously considering taking me with you? Are you?” He didn’t respond and you let out a bark of laughter. ”You’re being an idiot.”

“I’m sparing your life.” Jake replied sharply. ”Usually, people are grateful.”

You saw the ikran first. They weren’t as big as you remembered, but still scared the shit out of you. 

<”Ma Jake, what are you doing? Kill-”> Neytiri hissed from beside her mount. The youngest girl cradled to her chest. The woman stepped away from her ikran’s side, bow slung over her shoulder and her expression thunderous.

Jake pulled you up short, startling a second shout of pain from you. ”Dude! Ease up. Come on!”

Neytiri suddenly appearing in front of you had you stiffening. Her gaze pierced through you, studying your face with a hunter’s precision. She recognised you much faster than her mate.

“Would you quit whining?”

”You’re being an asshole!” 

You could only watch dumbly as her eyes widened, mouth dropping open whilst her ears fanned wide as the membrane of a frilled lizard. The hand not cradling her daughter flew to her mouth as that expression morphed into one of fiery rage. 

”What did they /DO/ to you?” She shrieked, the sheer grief in her tone making you flinch. Her breath stuttered, glancing at Jake before finding your pained expression again. “Eywa took you home.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself of that fact. 

The kids shuffled on your peripheral. Unsettled by their mother’s blatant grief. Neytiri drew your attention back.

”How is it that you stand before me now?!”

Her cry echoes through the trees, bouncing back to your bent ears with the same gut wrenching emotion as they had had leaving her mouth. You stared blankly at your friend, feeling all sense of hope and joy at being found drain away.

She was looking at you like you were a ghost or some kind of illusion. Waiting for you to evaporate or cease to exist at any moment. 

Your presence had unknowingly opened an old, festering wound that had barely healed the first time.

This wasn’t the reunion you’d been expecting. This wasn’t the open arms and tears you’d been praying for whilst you planned your escape. This was everything you didn’t want. 

“I’m sorry..”

>_<

Jake’s grip was unforgiving as he hauled you off of his ikran at High Camp. Your arms strained against the vines they’d used to bind your wrists, fingers failing to keep you on your feet as he forcefully yanked you down off of his ikran and onto the uneven cliff edge. One hand still grasped your kuru, whilst the other bit imprints into your bicep. 

They’d stripped you of your gear before wrestling you onto a banshee.

Now, your weapons, bullet proof vest and any form of communication with the RDA lay soaked in rainwater somewhere in the forest. You didn’t mourn the loss of the devices, since the RDA could no longer track you without them. But you did miss the false protection of the knife and the warmth of the vest against the frigid mountain air.

Goosebumps erupted up your forearms as you were dragged further into the heart of the camp. Tents had been erected inside the cave system, made homely by the cooking fires within and the decorative rugs lining the cold, stone floors.

You glimpsed a compound on one of the rocky rises. The shining metal stood out like a sore thumb against the wooden structures of the tents and the warm glow of the fires.

Jake kept you walking, guiding you through the gathering throng of clan members. Some you recognised, many you didn’t. They all stared at you the same. With pinned back ears and judgemental eyes. 

It was a relief when you were shoved between the flaps of the largest tent so far. The atmosphere was tense inside, with a fire burning low in the centre and various belongings stacked up against the walls. Herbs dried where they hung from the ceiling, whilst a hammock hung suspended against the back wall where two figures crouched over a map.

Your heart leapt into your throat. The rest of the clan and Jake’s unforgiving grip on you fell away as your eyes widened. 

The years had been kind to Mo’at. She still wore her red beaded shawl, but had updated her headpiece and decorative necklaces, one of which appeared to have been made by a child. Her intelligent eyes snapped towards you in the small space, the weight of the years portrayed in the heavy crow’s feet and bags pulling at her cheeks. That expression did not change as she studied you. 

Tsu’tey shifted at her elbow, looking as handsome as he always had. White paint ran down the line of his nose, from forehead to chin, standing out brightly against the soft blue of his skin. He carried himself with an undeniable sense of authority, chin lifted as that razor sharp glare cut you down to your very core. He no longer wore the necklace that had matched the choker your human body wore, but the rest of him had not changed. He studied you wordlessly, his lips dragged down into a frown as if he’d already analysed all he needed to know. 

Your eyes caught on the bullet scars that adorned his left shoulder. They were old, faded with time but obvious. Your stomach tensed at the thought of what he had been through in your absence. 

Wordlessly, you watched as Spider - who had slipped in behind you - skirted the fire and walked straight for Tsu’tey. “Dad.” The boy breathed, barely loud enough for you to hear. The hunter immediately opened his arms for the boy to fall into, his tail swaying anxiously as he whispered inaudibly to the young boy. Spider finally lost the tension in his body, whilst your stomach clenched painfully. You hated to imagine what their closeness meant. 

Neytiri burst into the tent behind you, making your ears shoot up and your body jerk. She paid you no mind, kicking at the back of your knee to force you to kneel. You gasped as Jake’s grip left you and Neytiri took his place. Her nails digging crescent moons into your scalp as she grasped the back of your neck with unforgiving tightness.

<”Daughter, what brings you here with such rage in your eye?”> Mo’at asked carefully. Her familiar voice sounded so calm, so familiar. You squeezed your eyes shut at the sudden weight behind them. 

<”The Sky People have found a new low.”> Neytiri declared loudly to the silent tent. Mo’at hummed. 

Somewhere behind the canvas of the tent wall, you heard small feet shift. Glancing to the side, you saw a tiny eye peering up at you from the gap between the material and the floor. Those unnaturally large eyes bore into your soul, making your tail thrash with nerves.

Neytiri’s fingers turned into claws in your hair, snapping your attention back to the situation at hand as she grasped a fistful of hair and yanked. <”They have begun to resurrect the dead.”> Your head snapped up from the motion, causing your neck to crack and warm pain to deep down your spine. Your mouth opened wide with an involuntary, pained gasp.

Mo’at didn’t move. 

Tsu’tey was scowling hard at her side, Spider wincing in sympathy at your treatment. Two sides of one coin. An odd pairing in appearance, but even in the short time you’d seen them together, you knew there was a bond there. Probably years old.  

With the crack in her daughter’s voice, Mo’at rose from her seat. On silent footsteps, she rounded the fire. ”What are you called?” 

You could tell that who you were still hadn’t clicked into place for Tsu’tey from the way that his ears flickered in uncertainty. Still looking confused, he composed himself, sitting back on his hunches to look at Neytiri. <”What is the meaning of this? Why have you brought this puppet to High Camp.”>

<”It protected the children.”> Neytiri returned easily. Making it sound like you were a pissed off thanator that had by some miracle, spared her offspring. <”It recognised us.”>

”Neytiri-”

<”You do NOT speak here.”>

Your name sat frozen on your tongue. The reactions of your previous two friends made you not want to reveal yourself. Neytiri shook you painfully by the kuru, letting out a warning hiss.

You spoke your name, eternally grateful that Mo’at’s towering form blocked Tsu’tey from view. 

More humming from Mo’at as she reached for the tiny blade concealed within the sheath of her head dress. You eyed her wearily, held still by Neytiri’s hand in your hair as she pricked your shoulder. She pulled the bloodied blade back, tasting the drop of blood. 

Her ears pricked at the taste, staring at you with a newfound revelation. ”It is you.” She confirmed, and something seemed to unwind in both Jake and Neytiri. ”But altered. You are not as the Great Mother intended.”

She motioned to her daughter, expression pinched. Neytiri tried to protest, but at her mother’s stern glare, her hands retreated from you. Your posture immediately slumped, relieved tingles echoing across your scalp and down your back.

”Explain.” Mo’at boomed, commanding your attention once more.

That finally got a reaction from the hunter still crouching over the map. 

”The Sky People grew this body as they grew the avatars.” She nodded along to the simple explanation, sharing glances with Tsu’tey over her shoulder. You swallowed. ”They uploaded my memories into it. This body is me.”

Jake sidestepped, putting himself back into your line of sight. ”So you aren’t linked up?” There was something unreadable in his eyes. You almost mistook it for hope.

You shook your head. That body was long gone. ”This is my body now.”

Spider had sat down on the mat beside him by now, and shifted uncertainly as the man wordlessly rose from his couch with the authority of a king rising from his throne. Mo’at stepped aside as he took slow, menacing steps towards you. Swallowing hard, you dared to meet his burning gaze highlighted by the soft white paint. The vibrant grief and rage swirling within those gorgeous depths was startling to behold.  

His hand went to the knife at his waist, wrestling it free with the practised song of the blade against its bone sheath. Your fight or flight threatened to kick in as you recognised the same hunter’s stalk he had performed the morning Neytiri and Jake had officially mated. 

<”Olo’eyktan?”> Mo’at asked, eying him wearily. 

He ignored her, storming past her fast enough to have her braids dancing. That gaze was narrowed; honed in on prey. 

His arm drew back. 

Your eyes widened. 

With a yell, he took a swift swipe at your head which you barely managed to dive out of the way of.

<”DAD NO!”> Spider yelled from across the tent. He was on his feet in minutes, scrambling forward, only for Mo’at to hold him back with her arm.

Neytiri tutted at the poorly aimed blow, her tail thrashing on your peripheral as you cowered in the dirt, your arms still bound and braced against stone. Vulnerable skin tore on uneven rock as you scrambled away, kicking yourself for turning your back, but knowing distance was more important.

At least Jake seemed to have your back.

<”Tsu’tey, what are you doing?”> The marine asked, immediately jumping in to stop him from striking again as you scrambled to get your feet under you. With your hands bound, it was a struggle. Your tail thrashed, attempting to aid your balance as you scrambled away.

Tsu’tey was like a man possessed, shoving Jake off balance and making another stab at you. His ears were flat on either side of his head, eyes wild and manic. You’d never seen him so pissed. And certainly not so quiet whilst being so angry. It was somehow more terrifying than if he were screaming at you. 

Jake scrambled to stay on his feet, his arms wrapping around Tsu’tey’s waist and yanking him back. Causing the knife to fall short of slicing through your side. The Olo’eyktan shrieked, a noise you had never heard a na’vi make before as his nails clawed at the man’s arms, failing to tear him off. Your ears flattened at the heart wrenching sound. Eyes not quite leaving the knife still in the Olo’eyktan’s grasp. A knife which he was quick to recall and hurl at your head. 

“Jesus FUCKING christ!” You swore, ducking again. “Calm down!”

He hissed in retaliation, ears pinned back from the ferocity of the sound. You stilled at the glint of water staining his cheeks, the redness of his eyes. ”I mourned you!” He cursed. Still struggling. Still trying to close the distance and kill you. 

Scratch that last part. Seeing him cry and begin to break down was far worse than anger.

”I buried you.” He screamed, the shout echoing around the tent and no doubt chasing itself out into the main cavern. ”I visited you in Eywa!”

Numbly, you took a step back. Towards the tent flaps. 

This had been a mistake. Coming here was a mistake.

”I have made my peace with your passing! What purpose do you serve? Why have you returned to haunt me?” There was so much anguish in his tone, you would’ve preferred a punch to the jaw. ”WHY!?”

”I couldn’t stay there.” You breathed, straightening your shoulders when you realised you’d curled in on yourself under that venomous glare. ”I couldn’t stay there!” You repeated, louder this time. Needing to be heard. Understood. ”With them.” Your throat was uncomfortably tight. ”I wanted to come home.”

”THIS IS NOT YOUR HOME, DEMON!” Tsu’tey was quick to snap back. His expression shattered, the rage giving way to a tsunami of grief so strong it made you sick. ”LEAVE!”

But you were frozen in place.

Tsu’tey took it as a challenge. With strength that made your eyes bug out, he stomped on Jake’s foot, shot his arms back, grabbed the marine by the weapons belt and yanked him up and over his shoulder. Jake hit the stone floor hard. With a wheeze, he collapsed in a heap, momentarily stunned. 

You gawked. 

Spider seemed to come back to himself. In your peripheral, you watched the kid expertly duck under Mo’at’s arm and dart around the fire, with the ease of someone who’d been doing it his entire life.

Tsu’tey’s form blocked him from view. His muscles were bunched like a thanator preparing to pounce. 

”GET. OUT!” Tsu’tey screamed again. He made to step over Jake, only for the man to grab his ankle and yank, causing the hunter to crash at your feet. You leapt back as his hands shot for your ankles. 

Spider was at your side in moments. ”This way!” He yelled, grabbing at your bound wrists and dragging you towards the tent flaps. You obeyed, but your eyes remained glued to Tsu’tey. To the hands that would drag you down and gladly wring your neck. To the twisted expression on his face, so alien to you and causing the white paint to bunch and flake. 

Mo’at tutted at his back. <”You do not think clearly.”> She narrated, stalking around the fist fight now commencing on her tent floor. 

”Come on!” Spider urged, tugging sharply on your wrists and tearing your attention from Tsu’tey and the rest of them. ”We have to get you out of here.”

<”Give me a head start?”> Spider joked with a hoarse laugh, the furious screams of Tsu’tey biting at your ankles. 

Neytiri appeared at your side, yanking aside the tent flap and helping Spider shove you outside. <”Take the ikran.”> She urged the boy, her expression icy. <”They cannot remain here.”>

You had FUCKING GATHERED THAT MUCH!

Neytiri nodded sharply before barking out loudly, <”Neteyam!”> 

A flurry of movement by the side of the tent revealed the older son from before. His expression was painfully neutral as his gaze slid from his mother to the teenager holding you hostage by your bound wrists. 

<”Take the demon to the forest.”> Neytiri stated. She didn’t wait to see if he acknowledged her command before promptly ducking back into the tent. The flicker of a memory tickled the back of your mind at her sharp cursing as the ruckus within the tent continued.

The boy, Neteyam, barely spared you a glance before heading back the way you’d been dragged into the camp. Despite being dragged all the way here for the Olo’eyktan to pass his judgement, the Sully family were doing a spontaneous job of doing the opposite of his will. You had no doubt that Tsu’tey would have gutted you regardless of his knee-jerk reaction. 

You were lost in your musings as Neteyam hollered for his ikran, three bursts of sound that had the magnificent beast dropping from a higher level of the cave system to stand before its rider. The boy was quick to form Tsaheylu, before fluidly mounting up.

<”Where are we headed?”>

<”The old village.”> Spider replied simply, guiding you towards the back of the mount with firm pushes. 

Part 1 -> Next Chapter 

[incorrectpizza]

speaking of modern aus idk if i've ever posted about my rebels journalism au which exists solely for my own self indulgence.

hera's a journalist with the phoenix press, an underground anti-establishment newspaper. ahsoka's the editor, bail's the publisher. she lives in an apartment above the newsroom, which has a front as some sort of coworking space.

chopper's the cat who showed up as a tiny angry kitten and just never left. cat distribution system, all that. now a grown up angry cat.

sabine's the "receptionist." say the right words, you get in, say the wrong ones, you get a death glare. her parents are furious that she's pursuing anything other than a military career and so when she switched majors from military science to art and photography, she got kicked out, dropped down to part-time enrollment, took on a job and ended up moving in at hera's.

zeb's a good cop in a world full of bad cops. kallus is the worst of his bad cop coworkers. he feeds hera intel on the injustices and helps out whenever he can, til he gets caught doing something too nice and has to flee (to hera's apartment).

ezra's a runaway foster kid who kanan finds and rescues from getting involved in black sun (drug running gang) and tells to go to hera for a job. hera hires him to deliver papers, and when she learns the truth about him...he ends up moving in, too.

and kanan? kanan's hera's top informer, the one with the shady connections outside the government, who she meets with every single friday morning. they get coffee. it is not a date, no, strictly business. he's a mostly recovered alcoholic but one day, he relapses hard, winds up in the police station, and calls hera to pick him up. she does. he never leaves.

and that's how hera ends up with everyone in a tiny apartment with sleeping arrangements that make no sense to literally anyone involved (ie she and kanan don't share a room until they've been "secretly" married over a year and she's several months pregnant with jacen), living the dream (overthrowing the government with words), trying not to die (there's a few car chases and at least one motorcycle crash (rip the phantom)).

highlights include 14yo homeless ezra coming in and applying as dev morgan, a 17yo who lives in the empiree state building; chopper drawing blood on numerous occasions, especially zeb and kanan; and the time a tabloid publishes an article about their drama and hera gets FURIOUS ("they claim i'm kriffing my informant in the newsroom! i'm making love to my husband in the apartment above the newsroom").

is there a plot? not really. will there ever be a fic? almost certainly not. does it still live rent free in my head? yes. yes it does.

[celestialbruise]

Can you give Taxian-jun and Chu-Fei a happy ending in their timeline? ❤️🙏

let me just say I LOVE YOU for this!! this truly feels like fate, because the morning I received this beautiful prompt the first thing I thought of when I woke up was 0.5 ranwan and I spent the entirety of my morning routine thinking about a canon divergent fic where taxian-jun and chu fei get their happy ending then I logged onto Tumblr and found this ask in my inbox :’)

I’ve had this idea in my head for awhile and some day I would love to turn it into a fully-realized fic, but the basic premise is a month before Mo Ran lays siege to Taxue palace and Chu Wanning dies, he has a dream detailing the event, every last gory detail. it disturbs Mo Ran so much that he temporarily calls off the plan, and while he’s busy thinking of a way to destroy Xue Meng that won’t have Chu Wanning sacrificing himself, Chu Wanning manages to save him in the interim. 

spoilers past erha volume six ahead!

to be completely honest I don’t know entirely how the flower works (I know about its existence but not much else) but in my head canon, aka for my own personal sanity, I do believe that there is a way for it to be removed, and in this AU Chu Wanning removes it, and though it would take time, and healing, in the 0.5 timeline, they would find their way back to each other, and they would never again part.  

I hope I was able to do your prompt justice, as I truly had such a wonderful time writing this<3

-

In the lonely dark, deep into the night, Taxian-jun woke with a scream trapped in his throat, desperately grasping a body that was no longer in his arms. 

He was alone in his bed. No longer was he laying siege to Taxue Palace, kneeling in the blood-spattered snow, holding a deathly cold, winter-pale Chu Wanning who had whispered….

Who had asked him with his dying breath-

“Mo Ran…forgive yourself.”

Mo Ran tore out of Wushan Palace like hell’s hounds were nipping at his heels, ignoring how the winter wind bitterly nipped at his cheeks, at the wetness staining his face, intensifying the chill and its painful bite. 

He couldn’t be gone. He just couldn’t be. 

He couldn’t leave Taxian-jun. Chu Wanning couldn’t leave Mo Ran.

If Chu Wanning left-

If he was dead, then-

What would Mo Ran have left? Who would he even be?

What would be the point of living in a world devoid of Chu Wanning?

Mo Ran ripped open the doors of the Red Lotus Pavilion, his feet automatically carrying him to Chu Wanning’s room, where he found Chu Wanning, lying in his bed, wrapped tightly in blood-red sheets, curled into a tiny ball, just as he always was. The sight both eased and aggravated something that seethed deep within Taxian-jun’s chest. He wasn’t able to breathe. Not yet.

In his haste he stumbled, almost fell, hurrying over the Chu Wanning’s side and without preamble or finesse, yanked one of his arms free from the blankets to clutch desperately as his wrist, searching for a pulse. Mo Ran only needed a single heartbeat to discern that, while softened by slumber, life did indeed still live inside Chu Wanning’s body. And then another heartbeat later, phoenix eyes fluttered open, moonlight catching on long, dark lashes that lifted to reveal hazy amber eyes.

“What-” Chu Wanning started, voice slurring with sleep, eyes only beginning to sharpen with that familiar hate when, without hesitation, Mo Ran pulled Chu Wanning into his arms.

“Wanning!” Taxian-jun gasped, wet, against the side of Chu Wanning’s neck. “You’re here. You’re okay,” Taxian-jun said this as if he couldn’t quite believe it. As if he daren’t hope.

“Mo Ran!” Chu Wanning thrashed inside his arms, hitting his shoulders, but Mo Ran bore it. He wouldn’t risk loosening his grip even a fraction. If he did, if he was careless, if he allowed Chu Wanning to slip away from him, a ghost once more…..Mo Ran hugged him tighter, tight enough to break him. Tight enough to break them both. Soon, Chu Wanning’s struggle ceased. He stilled, stiff and awkward in the cage of Mo Ran’s embrace. When he spoke next, his voice was quieter, a question Mo Ran had no idea how to answer, unable to grasp what the question even truly was.

“Mo Ran?”

Mo Ran shuddered, pulling away, looking into Chu Wanning’s sharp phoenix eyes, eyes that glimmered with light, with life. Eyes that had gone openly, nakedly wide.

“You aren’t allowed to leave this Venerable One,” Taxian-jun hissed vehemently, his heart a painful beat inside of his chest as his hands cupped Chu Wanning’s face, forcing him to meet the fire raging in Taxian-jun’s eyes, the flames that threatened to swallow them both. “Do you understand? This Venerable One forbids it! I forbid you from - who do you think you are……”

“Mo Ran,” Chu Wanning gripped his wrists, pulling Mo Ran’s hands away from his face. A face, Mo Ran realized with a start, that was shadowed, filled with too many lines to ignore. “Calm down. You’re shaking.”

Was he? Impossible. But as Mo Ran glanced down to where Chu Wanning’s pale hands tightly gripped his wrist, he noticed his fingers flexing, curling around nothing, wracked with unceasing tremors. 

It was cold outside. He’d run straight out of his bedroom, dressed in only his inner robe….of course, he was shaking. He was furious - Taxian-jun was livid, filled with fiery anger that would not abate, that roiled through his veins like fire. It was maddening. It had nowhere to go. Taxian-jun couldn’t understand it, couldn’t make sense of it, why it felt like he was being torn apart from the inside out. All he knew was that he had held Chu Wanning’s cold, lifeless body inside of his arms, and it had felt real, in the way nothing had in a long, long time. Chu Wanning had left him. Chu Wanning had left him behind, and he wasn’t supposed to leave Taxian-jun, not until Taxian-jun allowed it, which he never would, because Chu Wanning was his, dammit. Despite his hatred, or because of it, Chu Wanning was Taxian-jun’s, and Taxian-jun was-

A cough crawled up his throat, and another, and another, until soon his chest was heaving, his ribs shuddering, his lungs bereft of all breath. Distantly, Taxian-jun registered the taste of blood filling his mouth, cloying and astringent. Taxian-jun felt like laughing. Mo Ran felt like crying.

But when Mo Ran saw Chu Wanning lift a hand towards his wound, a flare of panic ripped through his heart, an icy-cold, paralytic horror he hadn’t felt in years. Mo Ran caught Chu Wanning’s wrist, squeezing, needing the reassurance of a pulse.  

“Don’t. Don’t do it,” Mo Ran rasped, hating how his voice broke. “If you heal this wound….I’ll never forgive you. You can’t.”

Chu Wanning looked at him, brows furrowed, mouth set in a soft frown. Taxian-jun hated it. Hated how Chu Wanning would take this pathetic display as weakness. He was probably judging Mo Ran right now, sneering at him inside his heart, thinking him such a fool-

Taxian-jun almost flinched when the back of a soft, cool hand came to rest against his forehead. He felt his lips part, but no words came to rush out. No insults, no curses, no words of pure, unadulterated hate.

Foolishly, for a moment, Mo Ran wanted to call a name that he hadn’t in years, “....Shizun?”

“Mo Ran,” Chu Wanning whispered, a cold hand cupping his cheek, a gentle thumb drying a stray tear he hadn’t realized had fallen. “You must wake up.”

Taxian-jun stared at him, dazed. “Wake up?” He muttered, shaking his head, voice shrinking as he breathed, hesitantly. “This is….just a dream?”

The delicate jut of Chu Wanning’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, “Mn,” and then, with featherlight fingers, ever-so-carefully, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind Taxian-jun’s ear. For a second, Mo Ran found himself leaning into the touch. “It’s just a dream.”

“I didn’t know,” Mo Ran told him, hushed like a secret. “It felt so real. This Venerable One….is confused. I’ve just been so confused, lately. It’s Xue Meng’s fault. This fucking wound - it hurts, all of the time. My chest won’t stop hurting. It’s driving me insane.” 

Mo Ran bit his tongue before he could reveal more. Even in a dream, it felt far too vulnerable, far too stupid to reveal such a fear. Mo Ran had ears and he heard all the rumors the people whispered below his throne. He was a tyrant. He was bloodthirsty, cruel, worse than a beast. He was losing himself. 

He was going mad. 

“Wanning, how do I….how do I know what is real?” Mo Ran muttered, burying his face inside his hands to hide his burning eyes. He was just-

Mo Ran was tired. So, so very tired. He ached, down to his very bones. 

“Lie down,” Chu Wanning murmured, guiding Mo Ran to the bed. “You’ll feel better after you’ve slept.”

Something in Mo Ran protested this gentleness - surely it was only a prelude to more cruelty? But exhaustion was a heavy, pressing force. Inescapable. Like a limp puppet, all strings cut, Taxian-jun allowed himself to be arranged supine, and though every fiber of his being shied away from the almost gentle way the blankets were tucked in around his body, for some reason he couldn’t muster up the strength to bat Chu Wanning away, like he normally would have. In fact, Mo Ran couldn’t seem to tear his eyes, lucifugous and hot, away from Chu Wanning at all. And when Chu Wanning stood it was entirely involuntary, the way Mo Ran’s hand shot out to grab his wrist.

“Will you be here, when this Venerable One wakes?” Taxian-jun asked, and maybe he meant it as a threat, but it came out as a desperate plea. Still, the derision and contempt he had come to expect from Chu Wanning was nowhere to be seen on his visage which looked in the shadows, simply put, haunted. Conflicted. 

Lovelorn. 

“Mn,” Chu Wanning sat down beside him, and didn’t try to free himself from Mo Ran’s grip. “I’ll be here.”

“You won’t leave?”

“I won’t leave.”

“Promise?”

“....I promise.”

Taxian-jun nodded, and though he began to drift, caught in-between veils of the living world and the insensate realm of black, his grip around Chu Wanning did not loosen, and he still found himself whispering a question, one he somehow knew only Chu Wanning held the answer to. 

“Do you think dreams have any meaning?”

Just before unconsciousness could claim him once more, a whisper rang through his ears, soft-spoken yet achingly clear. 

“Sometimes.”

Then….Mo Ran just wouldn’t go. Chu Wanning couldn’t do anything foolish so long as Mo Ran stayed to make sure he behaved. Right? He couldn’t let Xue Meng live, or that damn Mei Hanxue - but he could think up another plan. He had time.  

-

Chu Wanning didn’t know how long it had been since Mo Ran had cried in front of him. Certainly, not since he was a boy

That meant he was still in there, somewhere. A heart still beat within the blackened, thorny brambles wrapped around Mo Ran’s chest.

There was still hope. 

There was still a way back from hell. 

Chu Wanning’s breath shuddered as it left his lungs. 

He wouldn’t leave his disciple. He wouldn’t stand back and watch as Mo Ran lost any more of himself than he already had. 

“It will be okay, Mo Ran,” Chu Wanning murmured, watching how the moonlight flickered across Mo Ran’s sleeping face, and how the knot of tension in between his brows only smoothed out when Chu Wanning squeezed his hand, tight, tight enough to leave his mark. “This master promises. I won’t leave you behind.”