#0.5 timeline

[ymayonaka]

Chu Wanning again

[fredbydawn]

“Whatever happened to David? Did David become an apprentice? Is Saw 0.5 even canon?” Yes babez, she just transitioned… her name’s Amanda now 😌

[thegreymoon]

Post-canon Taxian-jun is 100% going to do boy math on both their ages and come to the conclusion that he is now, idk, some 42 to Chu Wanning's 29, just so that he can coerce him to call him "Gege" in bed 🤣🤣

[catradoraism]

and i hope you die. i hope we both die

[columboscreens]

[willforeverbemine]

This app has become so unusable since ads made its way over 😒

[suttttton]

ooooo what Is vampires 3

vampires 3 is a continuation of the saga of morally questionable vampire fics i've been writing with @inklingofadream that begins with my fic Two Names on a Beating Heart

in this fourth installment of the series we get to see our beloved gerry! i'm currently writing a scene where he zip-ties jon's hands together and shoves him in a closet :)

[beiasluv]

tis the dilf season | j. button (22)

a/n: ignore the timeline cuz it’s a mess (I actually tried to do the maths) enjoyy 🤭

yourinsta

liked by fernondoalo_official, aussiegrit and 482,167 others

yourinsta and the summer break begins! thank you everybody for this amazing season, it has been an honor to work as your engineer this season and looking forward to the next!

view all 254,156 comments

jensonbutton ❤️

liked by yourinsta

aussiegrit buy jenson some sunscreen, please.

yourinsta 😭 on it

lewishamilton 👊 thank you

yourinsta back to you 🫶

username yn try not to post your man challenge, she failed.

username PLEASE

username I come back to this post religiously everyday

username what am I supposed to watch now that my favorite grid is off for their summer break 😭

username PLEASEEE I need yn and jenson radio for life 😩

username this post was like 6 years ago????

username HE WAS 37!!! SHE WAS JUST BARELY in her 20s

username they didn’t date yet 🤷‍♀️

username Maybe because he WAS planning on it. creeps me out ngl

username shut up. I love my dilf and gen z duo

yourinsta

liked by lewishamilton, jensonbutton and 386,627 others

yourinsta wdym you guys won’t play mermaids with us??? ���

view all 96,510 comments

jensonbutton I deeply apologise. dinner, my treat.

yourinsta deal 😊🫶

username OMFG??? IT WAS NOT EVEN A QUESTION

username BRO who doesn’t play mermaids?

username duh, it’s childish asf

username blocked. bye.

username YN IS ON A HOLIDAY WITH JENSON AND MARK???

username she’s just using them to get her mclaren engineering position 🤷‍♀️

username their age gap is questionable

username EXCUSE ME?? have you seen the last 5 years of F1 championships? yeah, that’s miss girly there. stay mad, boohoo

username are we, as a SOCIETY, expecting a dilf to play mermaids?

username Yes. Stay mad

username OBVIOUSLY

yourinsta’s story

reply

jensonbutton: what is a 0.5? also, garage in 10 minutes, darling.

: it’s a secret 🤭

: okieee

jensonbutton: quickly then ♥️

f1gossips

liked by username, username and 37,101 others

f1gossips yn ln was seen entering the paddock and completing her track walk for the mclaren team grand prix this weekend. jenson button not spotted near or anywhere today.

admin, reported.

view all 5,751 comments

username miss gurl came straight back from summer break to work, grind that grind gurl.

username she’s just doing her job?

username you hatin for no reason??

username THE ENGINEER IS BACK IN DA HOUSE

username she’s everything and he’s just a ken 🤷‍♀️

username I’ll take jenson any day if she doesn’t want him 😩

username GIRL IKRR

username PLEASE TELL ME MY PARENTS ARE STILL TOGETHER

username somebody TELL ME why jenson is wearing a fireproof in yn’s story???

username exactly!! I thought he is still doing sky news

username GURL PLEASE TELL ME JENSON IS COMING BACK THIS SUNDAY

username I manifestt 😩 it’s wednesday, we can still do ittt

username NOT WITH THE OLD FIREPROOF AND EVERYTHING IN HER STORY 🗣🗣

jensonbutton

liked by mclaren, yourinsta and 696,517 others

jensonbutton it’s great to be back on the grid. (and to be working with my favourite engineer again. ♥️) yourinsta

view all 211,503 comments

yourinsta thank you, mr. button ✌️

username mrs. button when??

liked by jensonbutton

username SHUT THE FUCK UP. HE LIKED IT

username jenson returning as a driver WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD

username IKRRR (I manifested it, yw guys)

yourinsta

liked by aussiegrit, jensonbutton and 503,871 others

yourinsta happy birthday to my (second) favorite news reporter and some driver I guess 🤭 aussiegrit !!

thanks for taking care of my brit! have fun in the retirement gang, hope to see you soon!

view all 217,003 comments

aussiegrit cheers! 😁

yourinsta 🫶

username she can’t even post a happy birthday post without jenson 🙄

username ikr? give some respect

username tell me you’re new without tell me you’re new

username Exactlyyy. it has been the longest running joke that mark’s the third wheel. why are y’all getting mad for nothing 🤷‍♀️

jensonbutton

liked by yourinsta, sebastianvettel and 472,106 others

jensonbutton pretty sure it was her idea.. (love you ♥️)

view all 186,401 comments

yourinsta it was mark’s 😔✊

jensonbutton you’re kidding, darling

yourinsta 🤭 maybe

username couples do couples poseee

username she’s definitely pr training him for lifeee

username if they break up idk what to do

username I’ll take him any day GURLL 🤭

username I need someone to call me darling like Jenson does

yourinsta’s story

reply

yourinsta

liked by jensonbutton, danielricciardo and 452,627 others

yourinsta race dump, and you’re welcome for the surprise guest this weekend 😚

view all 216,016 comments

username EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU MISS GURL

okay…I started simping for him because of a tiktok edit 🤷‍♀️

like, reblog, COMMENTT if you liked it 😚 if not, then why not?

today’s a great day to take care of yourself!!

[tiamathh]

TIAMATHH'S PAID READINGS <33

24

Hello! Welcome to the new and improved Paid readings package list!! <3 You can select for $10 (839 rs) you get 9 questions for each Package, or provide some or all of your own questions. But if you want more than 9, that will be $0.5 extra per question.

NO MEDICAL OR LEGAL Qs, tarot picks up on current energy which can always change

For now these are the only packages I have, and I do not have any with single question ones which may be introduced in the future. 

Feedback: wi.paidfeedback

My email ID - ukiyowi.tarot@gmail.com

My Ko-Fi - http://ko-fi.com/taagen

My GPay - DM me on @tiamathh or mail me for the same.

LINK TO BOOK A READING <3

Let's have a movie night!! <3 Keep Reading for More Info

I reserve the right to refuse to do readings for some energies and will inform about the same beforehand it is not something that has to do with the customer but sometimes I am just not able to pick up on energies

Timeline for readings being delivered are upto 10 days for 9 - 12 qs, if it is more than that it may take 10-12 days, for more than 20 questions it will take around 15-20 days <33

PAID READINGS OPEN 17 SLOTS AVAILABLE

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ 500 Days of Summer - Current Relationship

Package: Package: Package: How can I improve communication with my partner? 

What are the strengths of my current relationship?

What challenges are we currently facing?

How can we strengthen our emotional connection?

What is the potential future of my current relationship?

What does my partner need from me right now?

How can we handle conflicts better?

What is the lesson I need to learn from this relationship?

How can we make our relationship more fulfilling? 

What are the underlying issues we need to address? 

What do we both bring to the relationship?

What is blocking the progress of our relationship?

How can we better support each other's growth?

What does my partner feel about our relationship?

What is the key to maintaining our relationship?

How can we reignite the passion in our relationship?

What are the potential red flags in our relationship?

How can we balance our individual needs with the relationship?

What is the best way for us to navigate future challenges?

How can we ensure we both feel valued and appreciated?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara - Self-help

Package: What areas of my life need the most attention right now?

How can I improve my self-confidence?

What stops you and others from being more open with you

What are things you need to work through internally

Why do others love you

What is at your very core as a person?

What is blocking my personal growth?

What habits should I develop for a better life?

How can I better manage my time and energy?

What steps should I take to achieve my goals?

How can I overcome my fears and anxieties?

What is my biggest strength and how can I use it?

What do I need to let go of to move forward?

How can I improve my mental health?

What does self-love look like for me?

How can I better handle stress and pressure?

What is my life's purpose and how can I pursue it?

How can I improve my relationships with others?

What are the next steps in my personal development journey?

How can I cultivate a more positive mindset?

What limiting beliefs are holding me back?

How can I better balance my work and personal life?

What should I focus on to create a fulfilling life?

How can I become more resilient in the face of challenges?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Little Miss Sunshine - Family Relationships

Package: How can I improve my relationship with my parents?

What does my family need from me right now?

How can we resolve ongoing conflicts in our family?

What is the key to a happy family life?

How can I better support my siblings?

What role do I play in my family dynamics?

How can I help create a more harmonious family environment?

What are the hidden tensions within our family?

How can we improve our family communication?

What can I do to bring my family closer together?

How can I set healthy boundaries with my family?

What are the strengths of our family unit?

How can I heal from past family traumas?

What does my family appreciate about me?

How can I contribute to our family's happiness?

What lessons can I learn from my family experiences?

How can I balance my individual needs with family obligations?

What is the potential future of our family relationships?

How can we better support each other's dreams and goals?

What should I focus on to strengthen my family bonds?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ About Time - Future Spouse

Package: What is the potential timeline for meeting my future spouse?

What will our relationship be like?

What will my Wedding look like and be like?

What should I focus on in my current life to meet my future spouse?

What will our life together look like?

How can I recognize my future spouse when I meet them?

What are the common interests we'll share?

How will our families get along?

How will our personalities complement each other?

What will be the foundation of our relationship?

Their toxic traits

Your relationship dynamic

Your first impression of them

Their first impression of you

Where could you meet

Your first date with them

How will you resolve conflicts in the relationship

Obstacles the both of you will have to overcome

Their communication style and how they show affection

What will you like and dislike about them

What will they like and dislike about you.

How can I maintain a healthy relationship with my future spouse?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Sing Street - Career Reading

Package: What is the best career path for me?

How can I achieve success in my career?

What skills should I develop for my career growth?

What are the current obstacles in my career?

How can I find fulfillment in my work?

What is the potential future of my career?

What opportunities should I look out for?

How can I improve my professional relationships?

What steps should I take to advance in my career?

What is my true calling in terms of career?

How can I balance my career and personal life?

What are my strengths and how can I use them at work?

How can I overcome challenges in my career?

What should I focus on to achieve my career goals?

How can I make a positive impact in my workplace?

What are the hidden talents I can use in my career?

How can I improve my job satisfaction?

What is the best way to handle workplace stress?

How can I navigate office politics effectively?

What does the future hold for my career development?

How will my coworkers view me?

How can you manifest your desired career

Are you on the right path?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ 5 Centimeters per Second - Glow up

Package: What aspect of myself is ready for transformation?

How can I manifest my dream life?

What past experiences do I need to let go of to achieve my glow up?

How can I boost my self-confidence?

What hidden talents or strengths can I tap into?

What should I focus on to improve my physical appearance?

What habits are hindering my personal growth?

How can I enhance my mental and emotional well-being?

What steps can I take to create a healthier lifestyle?

What can I do to improve my social skills and relationships?

How can I embrace and love my authentic self?

What changes do I need to make in my daily routine to support my glow up?

How can I better manage stress and anxiety?

What is blocking my creativity and how can I overcome it?

What career or educational opportunities will aid my glow up?

How can I cultivate a positive mindset?

What self-care practices should I incorporate into my life?

What spiritual practices will support my transformation?

How can I set and achieve my personal goals more effectively?

What is the best way for me to develop a more positive body image?

How can I attract more positive energy and people into my life?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Fantastic Planet - Advice from Spirit Guides

Package: What do my spirit guides want me to know right now?

How can I connect more deeply with my spirit guides?

What is the message my spirit guides have for me?

How can I better understand the guidance from my spirit guides?

What is the purpose of my current challenges?

How can I align with my highest self?

What do my spirit guides want me to focus on?

How can I improve my spiritual practices?

What is the best way to receive messages from my spirit guides?

How can I develop my intuition further?

What is the spiritual lesson I need to learn right now?

How can I create more balance in my life?

What guidance do my spirit guides have for my relationships?

How can I find my true path in life?

What are the signs that my spirit guides are with me?

How can I release any negative energy or blockages?

What do my spirit guides want me to know about my future?

How can I trust the guidance from my spirit guides?

What is the best way to show gratitude to my spirit guides?

How can I live a more spiritually aligned life?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Whisper of the Heart - Future Energies (Choose Career OR self growth OR relationship)

Package: What energies are coming into my life soon?

How can I best prepare for the future?

What opportunities will present themselves in the near future?

What challenges should I be aware of in the coming months?

What aspects of my life will undergo significant changes?

How will my current decisions affect my future?

What positive energies are surrounding me right now?

What should I focus on to attract beneficial energies?

What future events will bring me joy and fulfillment?

How can I best align myself with my future goals?

What lessons will I learn in the near future?

How will my career path evolve in the next year?

What relationships will play a key role in my future?

What financial changes should I expect in the future?

How will my spiritual journey progress in the coming months?

What steps can I take to ensure a prosperous future?

What creative projects should I pursue for future success?

How will my health and well-being be affected in the future?

What future travel or relocation opportunities will arise?

How can I best navigate upcoming life transitions?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ First Wives Club - Platonic Relationships

Package: How can I strengthen my friendships?

What should I focus on to build new platonic relationships?

How can I resolve conflicts with a friend?

What is the current state of my platonic relationships?

What can I do to support my friends better?

How do my friends perceive me?

What is the most important lesson I need to learn from my friends?

How can I attract positive, supportive friendships?

What role do my friends play in my life path?

How can I balance my time between friends and other responsibilities?

What changes should I make to improve my social circle?

What new friendships are on the horizon for me?

How can I deal with feelings of loneliness?

What can I do to heal from a lost friendship?

How can I create lasting bonds with others?

What activities can I engage in to meet like-minded people?

How can I improve communication with my friends?

What boundaries do I need to set in my friendships?

What qualities should I look for in new friends?

How can I show appreciation for my current friends?

 What new people are coming into your life platonically

How will your friendship progress

What will they teach you?

What they think of you

What they like about you

What you’ve taught them and what they taught you.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Living in Oblivion - General Readi

Your aura and your energy at the moment. 

What is the overall energy surrounding me right now?

What recent events are influencing my present situation?

What is my current emotional state?

What are my immediate challenges?

What opportunities are available to me at this moment?

What should I focus on in the coming days?

What is the current state of my career?

How are my relationships impacting my life right now?

What habits should I change for better well-being?

What is the lesson I am currently learning?

How can I best support myself emotionally?

What creative pursuits should I explore?

How can I improve my daily routine?

What messages do my dreams hold?

What advice does the universe have for me?

What is blocking my progress right now?

How can I align myself with my true purpose?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Scott Pilgrim vs. The World - Next Relationships

Package: Energy with your current partner

What qualities should I look for in my next partner?

How will I meet my next significant other?

What should I be aware of before entering my next relationship?

What past relationship lessons do I need to remember?

How can I prepare myself for a new relationship?

What will be the nature of my next romantic relationship?

What are the potential challenges in my next relationship?

How will my next partner influence my life?

What should I avoid in my next relationship?

What will be the most rewarding aspect of my next relationship?

How can I attract a healthy and loving relationship?

What role will my next relationship play in my personal growth?

How can I ensure open communication in my next relationship?

What should I focus on to find the right partner?

What can I do to heal from past relationship wounds?

What signs will indicate that I’ve found the right person?

How will my next relationship affect my social life?

What spiritual connection will I have with my next partner?

What boundaries should I set in my next relationship?

How can I maintain my individuality in my next relationship?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Paprika - Pick n Mix

Package: Your own questions! Have fun 9 Questions for $7 and $0.7 for every other q <3

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Everything Everywhere All At Once - Advice from Ancestors

Package: What guidance do my ancestors have for me?

How can I connect more deeply with my ancestral roots?

What wisdom do my ancestors wish to share?

How can I honor my ancestors in my daily life?

What lessons from my ancestors should I apply to my current situation?

How can I heal generational trauma?

What strengths have I inherited from my ancestors?

How can I continue the legacy of my ancestors?

What traditions should I revive or maintain?

What messages do my ancestors have for my spiritual journey?

How can I ask for support from my ancestors?

What ancestral skills or knowledge should I rediscover?

How can I make my ancestors proud?

What challenges faced by my ancestors can I learn from?

How can I create a better future based on my ancestral heritage?

What rituals or practices can help me connect with my ancestors?

How can I show gratitude to my ancestors?

What unfulfilled dreams of my ancestors can I achieve?

How can I integrate my ancestral wisdom into my modern life?

What is the most important ancestral message for me at this time?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Om Shanti Om - Past Life

Package: What past life influences are affecting me now?

How can I uncover memories of my past lives?

Is my Karmic Cycle still ongoing?

What lessons did I learn in my past lives?

How can I heal past life traumas?

What talents or skills have I brought from past lives?

What relationships in my current life have past life connections?

How can I use past life knowledge for personal growth?

What was my primary purpose in my past life?

How can I integrate past life experiences into my current life?

What past life karma am I working through?

How can I break free from past life patterns?

What spiritual practices can help me connect with my past lives?

How did my past lives shape my current personality?

What unresolved issues from past lives need attention?

How can I access past life wisdom for guidance?

What past life events are impacting my current relationships?

How can I use past life insights to overcome current challenges?

What role did I play in my most significant past life?

How can I release any negative energy from past lives?

What is the most important message from my past lives?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Perks of being a Wallflower - Social Life

Package:

How can I improve my social interactions?

What steps can I take to expand my social circle?

How can I become more confident in social settings?

What can I do to strengthen my current friendships?

How do others perceive me in social situations?

What social activities should I engage in?

How can I deal with social anxiety?

What role do my friends play in my personal growth?

How can I balance my social life with other responsibilities?

What should I be aware of in my social environment?

How can I attract positive, supportive friends?

What changes should I make to enhance my social life?

How can I better communicate with others?

What is the current state of my social life?

How can I handle conflicts in my social circle?

What new social opportunities are coming my way?

How can I create deeper connections with others?

What social habits should I change for better relationships?

How can I be more open and approachable in social settings?

What social skills should I work on improving?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Encanto - Spirituality

Package: How can I deepen my spiritual practice?

Is a Deity trying to reach out to me, what deity could this be?

What spiritual path should I explore?

How can I connect more with my higher self?

What messages are my spirit guides sending me?

How can I enhance my meditation practice?

What spiritual lessons am I currently learning?

How can I align myself more with my spiritual purpose?

What role does spirituality play in my life?

How can I cleanse my energy and aura?

What rituals or practices can help me feel more connected?

How can I overcome spiritual doubts or fears?

What should I focus on to grow spiritually?

How can I better understand my spiritual experiences?

What blocks are preventing my spiritual growth?

How can I integrate spirituality into my daily life?

What messages does the universe have for me?

How can I develop my intuition further?

What spiritual tools or practices should I explore?

How can I balance my spiritual and material life?

What is the next step in my spiritual journey?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Uptown Girl - Inner Child

Package: What does my inner child need from me right now?

How can I nurture my inner child?

What past experiences are affecting my inner child?

How can I heal childhood wounds?

What can I do to bring more playfulness into my life?

How can I reconnect with my inner child?

What activities would my inner child enjoy?

What does my inner child want to express?

How can I create a safe space for my inner child?

What messages does my inner child have for me?

How can I balance my adult responsibilities with my inner child's needs?

What childhood dreams or passions should I revisit?

How can I show love to my inner child?

What fears of my inner child need addressing?

How can I celebrate my inner child's uniqueness?

What can I learn from my inner child's perspective?

How can I incorporate more fun and joy into my life?

What memories from my childhood need healing?

How can I honor my inner child's creativity?

What role does my inner child play in my overall well-being?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Baby's day out - Parenthood and Future Child

Package:

What qualities will my future child inherit from me?

How can I best prepare for parenthood?

What kind of parent will I be?

Messages from my future child  

What lessons will my future child teach me?

How can I support my future child's growth and development?

What challenges will I face as a parent?

How will my life change with the arrival of my future child?

What role will my future child play in my family?

How can I balance my personal goals with parenthood?

What values should I instill in my future child?

How can I nurture my future child's talents and abilities?

What kind of relationship will I have with my future child?

How can I prepare my home for a future child?

What traditions or customs should I pass on to my future child?

How can I ensure my future child's emotional well-being?

What will be the most rewarding aspect of parenthood for me?

How can I handle the responsibilities of parenthood?

What kind of support system will I need as a parent?

How can I foster a strong bond with my future child?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Secret life of Pets - From Your Pets to You!

Package: What is my pet trying to tell me?

How can I improve my bond with my pet?

What does my pet need from me right now?

How can I better understand my pet's behavior?

What can I do to make my pet happier?

How can I ensure my pet feels loved and secure?

What changes can I make to my home to benefit my pet?

How does my pet perceive me?

What can I do to improve my pet's health?

What is my pet's favorite way to spend time with me?

How can I help my pet feel more comfortable around new people?

What is my pet's biggest fear, and how can I alleviate it?

How can I create a more stimulating environment for my pet?

What should I know about my pet's emotional needs?

How can I better communicate with my pet?

What activities does my pet enjoy the most?

How can I support my pet during stressful times?

What are my pet's favorite treats or toys?

How can I ensure my pet feels safe and secure when I'm not home?

What life lessons can I learn from my pet?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Jennifer's Body – Your Sexuality (18+ ONLY)

Package: What qualities make me sexually attractive?

How can I enhance my sex appeal?

What do others find most alluring about me?

How can I embrace my sensuality more fully?

What barriers are preventing me from feeling sexy?

How can I boost my confidence in my sexual attractiveness?

What aspects of my personality add to my sexiness?

How can I project more sex appeal in social situations?

What should I focus on to feel more attractive?

How can I make my physical appearance more appealing?

What kind of energy should I exude to be more seductive?

How can I better appreciate my own sexual allure?

What can I do to feel more comfortable in my own skin?

How do my actions and behaviors affect my sexiness?

What should I avoid to maintain my sexual attractiveness?

How can I use my sexuality to empower myself?

What can I learn from my past experiences about my sexiness?

How can I express my sensuality in a healthy way?

What role does self-love play in my sex appeal?

How can I make my inner beauty shine through more visibly?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Boogie Nights: Sex Life (Fs/Next Partner) 18+ ONLY

Package: What will my future sex life be like with my partner?

How can I improve my sexual connection with my future partner?

What will be the biggest challenge in our sexual relationship?

What positions should we try out and why?

How will our kinks align

Their fantasies about me

My fantasies about them

How will my first time with them be?

How can I seduce them?

How can we maintain passion in our sex life over time?

What will my future partner appreciate most about our sexual relationship?

How can I communicate my sexual needs effectively to my future partner?

What fantasies might we explore together?

How will our sex life evolve over the years?

What role will intimacy play in our relationship?

How can we ensure mutual satisfaction in our sexual relationship?

What will be our greatest strength as sexual partners?

How can we keep our sex life exciting and adventurous?

What should we focus on to deepen our sexual bond?

How will our sexual chemistry influence our overall relationship?

What should I be aware of regarding my future partner’s sexual needs?

How can we balance our sexual desires with other aspects of our relationship?

What surprises might we encounter in our sex life?

How will our sex life contribute to our emotional intimacy?

What role will trust play in our sexual relationship?

How can we support each other’s sexual growth and exploration?

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

🎟️ Zoolander - Fictionals/Hypotheticals

Package: What would my relationship be like with [fictional character/celebrity]?

How would [fictional character/celebrity] influence my career if we were friends?

What challenges would I face if I were in a romantic relationship with [fictional character/celebrity]?

How would my life change if I became best friends with [fictional character/celebrity]?

What kind of adventures would I experience with [fictional character/celebrity]?

What lessons would I learn from dating [fictional character/celebrity]?

How would my family react to my relationship with [fictional character/celebrity]?

What kind of impact would [fictional character/celebrity] have on my personal growth?

What would our biggest conflict be if I dated [fictional character/celebrity]?

How would I balance my life with a relationship with [fictional character/celebrity]?

What strengths would [fictional character/celebrity] bring into a relationship with me?

What weaknesses would a relationship with [fictional character/celebrity] highlight in me?

How would my friends view my relationship with [fictional character/celebrity]?

What kind of romantic moments would I share with [fictional character/celebrity]?

What would be the outcome of a long-term relationship with [fictional character/celebrity]?

How would [fictional character/celebrity] support my dreams and goals?

What role would [fictional character/celebrity] play in my life story?

How would a break-up with [fictional character/celebrity] affect me?

What unique experiences would I have with [fictional character/celebrity]?

How would my personality change through a relationship with [fictional character/celebrity]?

Your relationship with the character/celeb (romantic or platonic)

Their toxic traits

Your relationship dynamic

Your first date with them

How will you resolve conflicts in the relationship

Their communication style and how they show affection

What will you like and dislike about them

What will they like and dislike about you.

Their first impression of you and your first impression of them

[xtaleunderverse]

Celebrating Underverse's 7th anniversary with concept art: Doodles of Underverse 0.5, 0.6 and 0.7 part 1 from my notebook! (Some pages alternate between Spanish and English, this is how I usually brainstorm ideas, sorry in advance ;w;)

0.5 - Hopeless Snas telling Frisk they're alone in this

0.5 - XGaster monologuing and trying to persuade Frisk

0.5 - Mettaton vs XMettaton fight scene ideas

0.6 - Muffet and her new pets | Cross in the Omega Timeline

0.6 - Core!Frisk and Epictale

0.6 - Cross and Dream talking | VS Nightmare and Killer fight concepts

0.7 part 1 - Overdrive X!Mtt beta concept

0.7 part 1 - XTale!Papyrus

0.7 part 1 - Weak X!Chara

BONUS: Underverse 0.7 part 2 - Surprise

[gametriprant]

WTF Steve

If you're not interested in the umbrella academy and worldbuilding/continuity or you want to avoid spoilers, skip this:

So, let's list the number of things that are just plain wrong:

-Luther had the gorilla's body because he had an accident. It was unrelated to Marigold, he was super strong, the simian body was to save his life. Without the saving his life, he should get just super strong.

-The umbrella academy are just the babies that Reginald bought. There were 43 of them in total. That's why Lila, not part of the original family, also had powers, she was one of these 43 babies. They all also had Marigold. If all particles are needed, you'd need these too.

-If you make people erased from history and all timelines, by default their children will also be erased from history and all the timelines. You cannot save them if you want to be erased afterwards.

-Allison had white creepy eyes when using her powers, not yellow. Also she wasn't telekinetic, she could manipulate people so they'd do what she wanted, or maybe she was reality-bending, but then reality would need to bend, it's not telekinesis.

-Viktor had white or pale blue coloured auras and powers, not yellow.

-If 5 was trying to prevent the world ending by creating the agency, this contradicts the agency being ok with the timeline where the world ends.

-If their powers got bigger somehow, Lila's laser eyes or Klaus flying makes also no fucking sense, power-wise.

-Who fucks with the timeline and the universe is Reginald, that's the problem right there. Alternatively, 5. Or alternatively, any person that, affected by the Marigold, has learned to time-travel. So only these are needed to be removed.

-Either there's Marigold in every timeline and then you cannot just mix it in one to solve the issue, or there's only Marigold in one timeline and then the rest of timelines cannot have people with superpowers.

Things that while not wrong, made no sense:

-Klaus could use his power to make ghost physical as shown in season 2 and 3. No need for possession and he could have made the dog physical.

-Allison's power allow for most plot points to be resolved in 0.5 seconds. She only needs to rumour people so they tell what they know, they help them or similar, and that's it. I know they're not the smartest but really.

-Why was Jennifer inside a squid? Why did she mention the cleanse?

-Why Abigail didn't grab the marigold and, while pretending to be someone else, give it to Jennifer, instead of involving everyone else?

-Why mixing these two particles creates a huge disgusting monster? it should be something more like a nuclear explosion/planet-wide contamination, the monster makes no sense.

-Why in all timelines 5 and Lila were shot at and hunted? This should only apply in some timelines, in others everything is ok, the problem should be to return, but it should be possible to get out and go to places and buy stuff and rest.

-Why Diego doesn't do the cool bullet trick in the rest of moments when people are shooting at them?

-Why Jennifer had the other particles? If the particles exists outside a body, why involve her at all?

-Why Reginald sent them to the Jenniffer mission if he could have done that himself and actually went there too, if touching her could end the world?

-Why people had memories from other timelines? Shouldn't the world-ending thing in s3 be enough to delete all these previous times and memories?

-In this universe there's clearly an afterlife. So, wtf happens when you mix this with timelines? Is the afterlife part of the timeline? In s3 when everything, including apparently other timelines, except the pocket dimension ends, Luther and Klaus are chilling in there, so this is outside. Well, its clear nobody thought too hard about all this, but really?

-5 and Lila. No need for further discussion here. The reasons are abundant, some of them I may disagree with, but it's wrong in general.

-Viktor can remove Marigold, they could have done that and then throw that at Jennifer or remove her particules too.

-Time travel, in general, as 5 and Lila do so effortlessly in one of the dimensions, lets you also fix any issues really.

Things that are just ethically wrong:

-Diego is fit as shit, not fat.

-Where is Sloane in the end? Where is Sissy? Where are all the others that are more important than the fucking Handler?

-Yep, as lots of people commented, if you have trauma the best thing is to stop existing. Your rotten remains may give life to nice-looking flowers! Yay. Great message Steve.

I'm missing other thigns but I'm too mad to keep listing stuff

[sanb3rry]

can u expand on suna being a silly bf please 🙈

totally can omg !!!!!!!

suna totally has like domo-kun charms on his backpack or his 3d, he gave you a matching pink one,,,,

he collects old ps and nintendo games. he probably went to a thrift and found some and started collecting them cause they look cool.

also collects yugioh cards, it's in a pokemon themed tin-can under his bed. ironic, i know.

he def played tony hawks pro skater when he was a kid, he tried doing a trick from the game and broke a bone... his little sister made a joke about it in front of you and he was pouty for the entire day.

he plays doll house with his sister. OH! totally the type to make two dolls kiss obnoxiously while teasing his sister about her crush.

would totally let you practice makeup on him, and he will somehow look prettier. don't ask how, it just happened. he let's his sister braid his hair and but sparkly butterfly clips on it.

has those stupid ironic t-shirts, some of them are his dad's that he took. he once forgot to change when you came over and got so red, it was very cute.

binge watches cartoons with his sister, he first complains on how she's hogging the tv and then he actually gets invested, asks too many questions, his sister gets annoyed and leaves and he's left there flabbergasted on how she could leave him on a cliff-hanger like that.

knows everything about the fnaf timeline, also watches wendigoon. he def plays roblox with you and bullies kids on there.

once on halloween when he was younger, his sister was a princess and insisted he would be a prince. he tells people how that experience was horrible but he secretly enjoyed every second of it.

loves taking 0.5 pictures of the both of you, has a whole album filled with it. also loves taking pictures and videos of you liekke, and they also look so good. your personal photographer fr.

he has a small cactus in his room, jokingly calls it his and your kid.

does not like kids, but he's really good with them.

he likes pinching, poking and squishing your cheeks like a grandma, lolol. randomly comes up to you in the hallways or during break and does it with no explanation.

i've written sm ofmfkejdns, tell me if you want more!!

© sanb3rry2023

[lachicavoltron333]

⚔️Ranwan 0.5 timeline🌸

"the love was there. it didn't change anything. it didn't save anyone. there were just to many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was still there."

[jozor-johai]

Days, Moons, Snow, and Letters: Proposing an new timeline for the ADWD North

The timeline you think you know around Jon's death is wrong, and this post is to show you why. Every discussion about who really wrote the Pink Letter is missing a crucial detail: Jon dies a month before Tycho Nestoris even reaches the Crofter's Village.

Yes, I am aware this sounds like an unbelievable claim. I would love for someone to convincingly prove me wrong, and if you believe you can, please let me know. However, I am reaching this conclusion using only the facts, which I will break down for you here.

Based on Asha's careful count of the days in The King's Prize and The Sacrifice, Jon's account of the moons from Jon VII onward, and Asha's, Theon's, and Jon's account of the snowstorm around Winterfell, I believe I can convincingly argue that by the time Tycho Nestoris arrives at Stannis' camp at the end of The Sacrifice—before any battle has taken place at all—Jon has already been dead for a month.

Very long (and dry) explanation below the cut. Please enjoy.

At the end, there's a Timeline breakdown illustrating the rough outline by the day, so don't worry if my tally of the weeks starts to get confusing, there is a clarifying list at the end.

The intuitive version—where George is giving us helpful hints

Jon VII, The Prince of Winterfell, and The King’s Prize. 

In The King’s Prize, Stannis’ host sets out from Deepwood Motte. Because this is important for timing everything else, let's call this Day 0.

In Jon VII, during a new moon, Jon receives a letter informing him of this plan ("we march against him")—I believe we can sync these events as occurring roughly contemporary to one another, with Jon VII happening a few days later. For ease later on, let's say Jon VII happens ~0.5 weeks after Asha departs Deepwood; this is ~Day 3.

Very shortly after that is Prince of Winterfell and Jeyne’s marriage: during this chapter, Roose receives word that Stannis has left Deepwood Motte. Allowing for just a bit more wiggle room (for Arnolf Karstark to have received a similar update as Jon did, and then to forward that information to ahead to Roose) we can place Prince of Winterfell fairly soon after Jon VII, itself after The King’s Prize begins. Let's call this ~Day 6.

Theon in Winterfell

Thanks to Asha keeping track of the days to the number, we know that Stannis' host spends at least 34 days on the march (Asha notes that "On the thirty-second day" grain ran out, at least two more days pass—the day "Lord Peasebury turned against the northmen" and "The next day the king's scouts chanced upon an abandoned crofters' village") and then Stannis' camp spends an additional 19 days at the Crofter's Village before Tycho and Theon arrive ("they had been three days from winterfell for nineteen days"). Therefore, we can almost exactly place Theon's arrival at the Crofter's Village no sooner than 53 days from the time they left Deepwood Motte. (It's possible, but not necessary, to insert more days between 32 and the Peasebury day, and we're trying to keep this march as short as possible.)

Therefore, the entirety of Theon’s Winterfell arc occurs during this time, since Prince of Winterfell starts right after the announcement that Stannis has begun to march, and because accounting for a ~3 days' ride between WF and the Village, Theon I occurs ~3 days before The Sacrifice. We can actually reasonably sync these chapters, but for the most part we don’t really have to—Ghost of Winterfell begins four days prior to Theon I, so that only needs to align with Tycho's arrival, and the Turncloak can just happen somewhere in between. But:

The one interesting thing to note is the snow in The Turncloak, when snow begins to fall heavily ("by nightfall snow was coming down so heavily"), and the snowstorm begins. However, it is also in this chapter that two scouts return to inform Roose that Stannis’ host has begun to break apart in the snow and had "slowed to a crawl". Comparing that to Asha's updates, this is at the earliest ~1 week into the march by Asha’s count, or anytime afterward ("fourth day of the march... snow began to fall" + "third day of snow, the king's host had begun to come apart"). So, by the time it starts snowing at Winterfell, or Asha, it's already been snowing a few days, at minimum. Accounting for additional travel time back to Winterfell from wherever Stannis is, and considering that this report comes just as Winterfell is getting snow, that means Stannis’ host got the snow roughly over a week before the snow reached Winterfell.

Almost like the snowstorm is following Stannis there. ;)  

Asha's Days

As for Asha and Jon’s storyline—where it actually matters here—it appears remarkably easy to compare time:

I believe Asha counting the days must be an exercise with narrative importance, and it's incredibly useful. As I said above, we can pin nearly to the day how much time elapsed from the beginning of Stannis’ march from Deepwood Motte until their arrival at the Crofter’s Village (no less than 34 days, cited above) and then add another 19 days at the Crofter’s Village in advance of Tycho’s arrival.

Together, the time from the beginning of The King’s Prize to the end of The Sacrifice is, at minimum, 53 days. Let's say Theon and Asha reunite on Day 53.

TWOW Theon appears to occur just before dawn the next day, and since The Battle at the Crofter’s Village appears to begin immediately after TWOW Theon ends, we’ll say that the Battle, therefore, is Day 54, or 7 weeks and 5 days following Stannis' departure from Deepwood Motte.

Jon's Moons

Meanwhile, every subsequent Jon chapter gives us either a moon phase or an account of days past:

Jon VII occurs during a new moon ("They had no moon to guide them home, and only now and then a patch of stars.") The weather is notably clear, clear enough that it's a plot element: this is the reason for heading to the weirwood grove now. When Jon returns he get the news of Stannis’ departure from Deepwood. We've allowed for some raven time, so we're calling this ~Day 3.

(As an aside, it’s been storming the last seven days, so the latest Mance could have left is a week prior, though obviously since we’re syncing this with Prince of Winterfell, Mance likely left earlier than that.)

Jon VIII occurs just before the half moon, about a week later. A moon "but half-full," to quote the text exactly. This is when Val departs to find Tormund. I interpret "but" to mean just before half-full, so we'll say this is 6 days later: ~Day 9.

Val says she will return on the "first night of the full moon." No one ever says she’s late, and Jon never worries about her being gone too long, so we can assume this is true—Val returns on the first night of the full moon, with Tormund, in Jon X. We can even be generous and say this is ~9 days later, and say Jon X occurs ~Day 18.

Since Val leaves in Jon VIII and returns a week later in Jon X, then Jon IX has just over a week’s period to occur. If we’re being generous, we can say this occurred only a few days after Jon VIII, around the actual half moon. Let's say Jon IX happens ~Day 11.

In Jon IX, Selyse arrives and declares she intends to stay “no more than a few days,” and while this prediction is not a trustworthy source, it might give us some kind of ballpark. Jon also notes the weather is clear in the morning for once, calling it a “respite.” He thinks the snows have "moved off to the south" (to Stannis?) but by the evening, the snow is "coming down more heavily". The next day, Tycho appears to be gone, and Alys arrives. 

So: Tycho appears to leave just over 1 week after Jon VII, when Jon received word that Stannis planned to march on Winterfell. This way, it makes intuitive sense that Jon sent Tycho to Deepwood Motte—barely any time has passed. It seems entirely possible that Stannis had yet to leave, or at least that Tycho could catch up with him on the march. So far, this feels entirely believable and logical.

In Jon X, Alys weds. Flint and Norrey have "hied" (hurried) to Castle Black for the Wedding, which is possible if we've said that Jon IX was ~1 week ago. The snow is still falling "heavily". Jon receives a letter confirming that eleven ships have left Eastwatch for Hardhome (likely a few days prior). Val arrives that night—our full moon, we presume. Again, this is Day ~18.

Jon XI begins the next morning. ("that day" until "finally, as the shadows of the afternoon grew long"). There is no place to fit any time in between here and Jon IX, because this chapter includes Jon showing Val her new quarters ("I've had the top floor made ready for you"). This is ~Day 19.

Also in Jon XI, Jon notes that the snow has finally stopped after two weeks ("a fortnight"). The last time we know the weather was clear for more than a few hours (so clear it was a plot point!) was Jon VII, when Jon went to the weirwood grove. By our count of the moon, Jon VII was two weeks ago, so this lines up exactly.

Tycho

So: we've said Tycho leaves in Jon IX, which is just over a week since Jon VII. If, at an estimate, we're saying Jon VII probably occurred about a half a week after Stannis actually left, Tycho departed Castle Black 1.5 weeks into Stannis' march. Again—he could catch up here, so makes sense that Jon sends Tycho to Deepwood Motte first.

Meanwhile, thanks to Asha, we know Tycho makes it to Stannis’ camp 7.5 weeks after their departure, on Day 53. If we are roughly syncing the start of The King’s Prize half a week before Jon VII, and seeing Tycho set out from Castle Black only a week later, then Tycho takes ~6 weeks to reach Stannis, and he’s not a teleporting banker at all. ~42 days is plenty of time to reach Deepwood Motte, negotiate the exchange of hostages, travel to Winterfell in the storm, grab Theon, and then make it back to Stannis’ camp. Again, this makes sense.

Jon X—Jon XIII

However, we now run into the problem of how much time has passed since Tycho left.

We said before that Jon X and Jon XI (the next day) occur ~1 week after Tycho departs. Jon XI is ~Day 19.

After that, Jon XII occurs exactly three days following Jon XI—there’s no space to add any extra time here. In Jon XI, Tormund and Jon agree to let the Wildlings through in three days' time, and Jon XII follows that event proceeding as scheduled. We can safely place Jon XII ~1.5 weeks following Tycho’s departure. Jon XII is ~Day 22.

Jon XIII is the only remaining Jon chapter without a moon phase or a clear date. However, there are a number of events that demand it be soon after Jon XII.

First, there's Tormund's return. Back in Jon XII, Jon says Tormund will take men to Oakenshield in “within a day or two.” In Jon XIII, Toregg returns in the morning to announce that Tormund has settled his people at Oakenshield and is returning in the afternoon. Tormund arrives that afternoon.

Then, there's the matter of Hardhome. In Jon XII, he recieves news of the disaster at Hardhome ("Very bad here. Wildlings eating their own dead"). Jon XIII begins with Jon and Selyse discussing Hardhome, seemingly for the first time; Jon later discusses a Hardhome ranging with Marsh and Yarwyck, also for the first time; Melisandre also tries to stop Jon from leaving for Hardhome, also for the first time. Jon XIII occurs as soon as Jon makes the plan to leave for Hardhome. He sounds hurried; he says "they are starving at Hardhome by the thousands," and he makes a plan with Leathers to arrange the meeting in the Shieldhall in time for Tormund's return from Oakenshield—the only thing holding them up from leaving is Tormund's return.

Up to you how long you think Jon would have waited to discuss this—I don't think very long. In order to argue that more time passes between Jon XII and Jon XIII, we need to argue that Jon hears of the starving Wildlings eating their own dead and waits for weeks before acting.

Additionally, Cregan Karstark is taken out of the Ice Cells in Jon XIII after having been imprisoned there sometime before Jon X. Considering Jon X and Jon XII have to be four days apart, that's fine, and we might imagine that Cregan has been there for maybe over a week, or more. However, Jon spent four days in an ice cell in ASOS Jon X and in this time Alliser Thorne threatened that Jon would "die in there." With that comparison, we're limited in the timeline by imagining how much longer than ~1 week we can keep Cregan Karstark alive in the ice cells prior to his release in Jon XIII without him freezing to death first.

Soon after, the Bastard Letter arrives, and Jon is killed.

Personally, I think it’s most likely that Jon XIII occurs only a few days following Jon XII. If I’m feeling generous, I’d say we can put Jon XIII ~1 week following Jon XII, and being generous we’ll say that Jon dies ~2.5 weeks after Tycho departs Castle Black. That is, therefore, 3.5 weeks after Jon first heard word that Stannis was leaving Deepwood Motte, and (we're guessing) ~4 weeks after Stannis actually left.

So Jon dies on ~Day 30. By this count, Jon's dead, and Tycho Nestoris still won’t arrive at the Crofter’s Village for another ~3.5 weeks—he can't come any faster, Asha's been counting.

Next, I'm going to propose (and acknowledge) the ways that other versions of this timeline will fix this problem, though I don't like them exactly. Then, afterwards, I'm going to give a last piece of evidence why I believe in the version of events I've just described.

If you're unintersted in "what-ifs," scroll down to "The Snowstorm"

The Less Intuitive Version—where George sneaks in "The Mystery Month"

Because I'm arguing that Jon appears to die on ~Day 30, and Tycho doesn't even reach Asha until Day 53, in order for us to believe Jon XIII happened after TWOW Theon, we’d need to invent a month to add in to Jon’s storyline. Jon XIII has to occur after Day 60, at minimum.

I call this the “Mystery Month”—is there a missing month in Jon’s storyline, or isn’t there?

There a couple ways to make this happen, and I'll explain why I don't believe them.

The trouble with slow ravens

Number one, across the board, it feels very tempting to add buffer time by imagining that Stannis left Deepwood Motte even earlier than we estimate—maybe a whole week, or even longer, before Jon hears about it in Jon VII. The main issue with this strategy is that Stannis has to send the letter, so the raven leaves at latest when Stannis does, and so now we're arguing that a raven takes over a week to fly to reach Jon .... which means that now we're also adding additional estimated time for how long it took a raven to deliver the Pink Letter, and everything has to be pushed even earlier.

That is to say: if we said it takes two weeks for word to reach Jon before Jon VII, I would say now the "battle" in the Pink Letter has to happen weeks earlier to account for this extended raven time.

The long wait before Jon XIII

The first, simplest way to add a month, is that we say this: Jon XIII happens a month after Jon XII. It took Jon a month to plan for and to bring up Hardhome to Selyse, Selyse has waited over month to plan her weddings with Gerrick Kingsbloods’ daughters, and Tormund has been at Oakenshield for over a month. The Letter arrives a month after the Wildlings come through, and so long as the King’s Prize also began over a week before Jon gets the Letter about it in Jon VII, we can make this work. Tycho arrives on time, we skip ahead a month before Jon XIII, and then Jon dies after the battle.

Yes, this could be how it happens, No I do not think that it's convincingly possible that Jon XIII happens a month after Jon XII.

If we don't want to try to force in a lot of time between Jon XII and Jon XIII, there are a few other ways to attempt to solve this (though these are still three timelines of entirely my own invention):

Skipping a moon before Jon VIII

We could add a month in between Jon VII and Jon VIII, where Jon VIII is not the waxing half moon following Jon VII’s new moon, but the one after that. We're locked in at the moon cycle, so instead of one week, this has to be a ~5 week gap. The major issue with this is: we’ve lined up Jon VII roughly with the beginning of Stannis’ march, and Tycho still hasn’t arrived at Castle Black yet. If we place Jon IX right after Jon VIII again, we'll add a month to our previous estimate of Jon IX can say that Tycho leaves ~Day 39.

With this timeline, Tycho has ~2 weeks to catch up with Stannis’ host, reaching both Deepwood Motte and Winterfell along the way. This seems unbelievably fast (considering that Deepwood to Winterfell alone was over two weeks in good weather).

The thing is, that doesn’t even matter: since this doesn’t change our earlier estimate of how long Jon has left to live after Tycho’s departure (~2.5 weeks), that still means Jon dies roughly around the same time Tycho arrives.

There's an even bigger logical issue here: in this scenario, that means Jon, who heard five weeks ago that Stannis is marching on Winterfell—which is apparently a two-week march ("fifteen days")—still sent Tycho to Deepwood Motte to catch Stannis. Why would Tycho go to Deepwood first, and not Winterfell, if Jon learned Stannis marched five weeks before Tycho left? It's true that it happened to work out, but Jon wouldn't have known, at this point, how snowed in Stannis is.

The Val takes three weeks version

Alternatively, here everything is spread out more, which is closer in spirit to what the Unofficial Timeline suggests.

We can try to give both Val and Tycho a little more time before Val's return, but we’re always trapped in a moon cycle between Jon VIII and Jon X because otherwise Val’s promise to return at the full moon doesn’t make any sense. The best way to do this is to imagine that Val leaves on a waning half moon, rather than waxing half moon. This means that Val has three weeks to travel, and it also means we have move Jon VIII to three weeks after Jon VII (and therefore ~3 weeks into King’s Prize). Here, Jon VIII is ~Day 24.

(However, this is counterintuitive—it’s more natural to imagine that being shown a half moon following a new moon would mean the waxing half moon. Also, I believe it goes contrary to the actual description: Jon notes the moon was “but half full,” and the “but” makes it seem like it will be half-full soon, not that it just was. Again, we can allow it. This also means that when Val looks at the half-moon and says: look for me at the first week of the full moon, she doesn’t mean next week, she means in ~3 weeks from now—after the moon has gone to new and then back to full again. Once again, this feels very counterintuitive to say, but it will give us more time.)

In this version of events, Tycho and Alys can still arrive as early as right after Jon VIII, and therefore that Tycho left Castle Black ~3 weeks after Jon VII, roughly around ~Day 26. (Once again, this doesn’t make too much intuitive sense to me: why would Jon send Tycho to Deepwood Motte three weeks into a two-week march?) 

This doesn’t change our count of time from Jon X—Jon XIII (a generous ~1.5 weeks) but now we’re saying say that Tycho left Castle Black three weeks prior to Jon X, so this gives us 4.5 weeks between Tycho’s departure and Jon’s death.

This solves the issue of the teleporting banker: Tycho leaves ~3 weeks into Stannis’ march and has ~4.5 weeks to make the trip, so he’s faster than Stannis but not impossibly fast. However, because the moon phases are still locking our ability to only month here for the moon to align, we still have Tycho arriving roughly the same time Jon dies.

Mystery Month+

Since we're trapped into a vague schedule by Jon's noted moon cycles, the only remaining option is to assume that one of the above is true, and that Jon XIII happens at least two weeks after Jon XII. That would also make the timeline work.

However, to me, this all seems highly counterintuitive and unlikely…

And that’s before we factor in the accounts of the weather. 

Yes, I have one more piece of evidence to propose, and although this is a bit more debatable, I believe it corroborates my initial timeline.

The Snowstorm

Asha sets out from Deepwood Motte, and four days later, the snows begin. By a week into the march ("third day of snow"), the host has begun to separate, and slow to a crawl.

Around this time, or a little later, we imagine the Bolton scouts see the Stannis host struggling, and turn home to report back. Several days later, accounting for vague travel time (because Stannis is less than halfway to Winterfell by this point), they report this to Roose, and it begins to snow in Winterfell, too. Let's say, roughly, it begins snowing at Winterfell around ~2 weeks after Stannis departs, maybe adding a couple days. This is when The Turncloak happens—let's say ~Day 16.

Remember what I said about the snow in The Turncloak being interesting?

In Jon VII (at my estimate, ~Day 3) the weather is clear—clear enough that Jon heads north of the Wall. If we're aligning these moments, this seems to be true for Stannis, too.

The first we hear of snows to the south in Jon IX ("moved off to the south"), and in Jon X, we hear that south of Castle Black the "kingsroad was said to be impassable" from snowstorms. In Jon XIII, Yarwyck points out that the Wall is getting snow blown against it because the "wind's from the south". This is three different accounts of harsh weather to the south, and all of this points to this being the storm at Winterfell. 

If we go back to my original timeline, Stannis leaves Deepwood Motte a little before Jon VII, and Jon X occurs two weeks later around ~Day 18. In that timeline, then those reports of impassable snows to the south line up exactly with when the snows appear to have hit Winterfell, from our estimation of the sync between King’s Prize and Turncloak. Snows hit Winterfell roughly ~Day 16, Jon gets reports that the Kingsroad is impassable ~Day 18. That lines up.

According to my proposed timeline, this is still four or five weeks before Tycho Nestoris arrives. A week later, in Jon XIII, when the winds from the south are only getting worse… that fits, because Asha and Theon have another three or four weeks of snow to go. And Jon is dead.

The End

TL;DR: Comparing Jon’s tracking of the moon, Asha’s tracking of the days, and accounts of the snowstorm around Winterfell all lead me to believe that Jon dies four weeks before Tycho Nestoris reaches the Crofter’s Village.

In my proposed timeline: Tycho leaves ~1 week after Stannis does, he takes ~6 weeks to make it to the Crofter’s Village, and Jon’s already been dead for a month. So, there's been a month since. This way, Jon sending Tycho to Deepwood makes sense, and Tycho taking 6 weeks to make the journey makes sense. The accounts of the snowstorms line up.

What doesn't make sense is: the Pink Letter arrives over a month too early to be real.

Implications

But what could I possibly be saying? I don't even really know. This is such an unusual conclusion that there is very little theorizing in the fandom about what this would mean.

.... Although, I do have a pet theory for this: it does feed into my desire for the Wildlings to make a surprise appearance in TWOW.

Take this with a grain of salt. BUT. We know from AGOT that it usually takes ~3 weeks to travel from Castle Black to Winterfell. That means that a Wildling host would have a month, or even five weeks, depending on timing, to have marched from Castle Black to Winterfell afterward, and could arrive at Winterfell right on time for Stannis to advance. If that were the case, it could explain why Stannis seems so unhurried at the Crofter's Village. Maybe he's waiting for them to arrive. It could work that way. I'm not getting into any other logistics here, because this is a tall tale to defend.

On the other hand, as much work as this was, I’d love to be proven wrong here! It's all in the name of science, if by science I mean obsessive analysis of fiction. If someone has a detail I’ve missed, please let me know.

TIMELINE

Day 0: King's Prize: Stannis Marches. The King's Prize begins.

Day ~3: Jon VII: New moon, word from Stannis.

Day 4: King's Prize: Snow begins for Asha.

Day ~6: Prince of Winterfell. Word from Arnolf that Stannis marches on Winterfell.

Day 7: King's Prize: Stannis' host begins to break apart in the snow.

Day ~9: Jon VIII: ~Half moon, Val departs and will return in ~a week.

Day ~11. Tycho Nestoris arrives and Jon sends him to Deepwood Motte. Jon notes it seems there are snows off to the south.

Day 15: King's Prize: Stannis has moved less than half the distance.

Day ~16. The Turncloak. It begins to snow heavily in Winterfell.

Day ~18. Jon X. Val returns, new moon. It's snowing heavily in Castle Black. Word comes that the Kingsroad south of Castle Black is impassable from heavy snow.

Day ~19. Jon XI. Jon meets with Tormund, shows Val her new quarters. Wildlings cross in three days.

Day 20. King's Prize: Asha loses her ankle chains because her horse dies.

Day ~22. Jon XII. The wildlings cross. Clear in the morning but Tormund notes snow will start again overnight. Tormund plans to go to Oakenshield in a day or two. Word of the Hardhome disaster.

Day 26. King's Prize: Stannis' host runs out of vegetables.

*Day ~30. Jon XIII, by my estimate. Jon plans to leave for Hardhome. Strong winds blowing snow from the south. Tormund returns from Oakenshield. Bastard Letter, Jon dies.

Day 32. King's Prize: Stannis' host runs out of grain.

Day 34. King's Prize: Stannis' host reaches the Crofter's Village.

Day 45. The Karstarks arrive at the Crofter's Village. (The Sacrifice)

Day 47. The Ghost in Winterfell: Ryswell man-at-arms found dead. Snow makes visibility outside Winterfell near-zero.

Day 48. Ghost in Winterfell: Aenys Frey's squire found dead in the morning. Flint crossbowman found dead in the afternoon. Stable collapses at night.

Day 49: Ghost in Winterfell: Yellow Dick found dead in the morning. Visibility so low Theon cannot see "three feet in front of him." Confrontation about whether Theon is the killer.

Day 50: Ghost in Winterfell: Theon stays up all night; just before the dawn the sounds of horns and drums outside wakes everyone Winterfell. Theon is found in the godswood by three of the spearwives and taken to meet Mance in the Burned Tower. Theon I: A raven arrives (from the Karstarks) informing Roose of Stannis' location. Theon and Jeyne escape and are found my Mors.

Day 53: The Sacrifice: Tycho Nestoris arrives with Theon, Jeyne, and the Ironborn from Deepwood Motte.

*Day 60: At minumum, earliest time Jon XIII can occur for the Pink Letter to be accurate.

[thegreymoon]

Do you think Mo Ran is misogynistic to Song Qiutong? How do you feel about Rong Jiu and Song Qiutong writing in 2ha?

I'm assuming that this ask is from the same person who sent that other one I just answered.

No, I don't think that Mo Ran is misogynistic. In his right mind, he has been nothing but loving and respectful to all women he came across, with the exception of Song Qiutong whom he hated for the kind of person she was, not because she was a woman. In fact, his deep hatred of Song Qiutong is not even so much about hating her, but about hating what she enabled him to do. She encouraged the worst side of him, and even though she was the one who betrayed the Rufeng Sect, he was the one to raze it to the ground and kill Ye Wangxi. All the evil she caused as Empress (up to and including torturing Chu Wanning) was because he gave her leave to do so. She was the one who opened the doors to let Chu Wanning escape for that final 0.5 fight, but it was Mo Ran's actions that led Chu Wanning to such extremes in the first place. She disgusted him, but his hatred of her was magnified because she was so intimately tied to his own regrets and shame.

Honestly, I find Song Qiutong and Rong Jiu (and Shi Mei) fans who level these kinds of baseless accusations at Mo Ran to make their slimy faves look better completely exhausting. Yeah, Mo Ran hated Song Qiutong in a sea of other women whom he was very respectful of because she was a vile person who was intimately tied to his own evildoing. No, he was not misogynistic, he was just in a toxic marriage and hated this one woman in particular, not all women as a group. No, he is not a rapist for frequenting brothels and sleeping with Rong Jiu. Yes, Rong Jiu did actually scheme to murder Mo Ran in both timelines, it is not Mo Ran's "biased-ass POV" baselessly accusing him (an actual thing I've had a Rong Jiu stan tell me). Yes, both Rong Jiu and Song Qiutong were doing their best to survive, but just because they were born into horrible circumstances does not change the fact that they were also horrible people who never hesitated for a moment to throw others under the bus if it meant they would benefit from it, up to and including murder (or in Song Qiutong's case, the slaughter of entire cities).

Another thing that I find especially hilarious about these accusations against Mo Ran is that there is usually an overlap between Rong Jiu and Song Qiutong fans and Shi Mei fans. It is so funny that they are so ready to hate on Mo Ran for what he did to Rong Jiu and Song Qiutong but conveniently forget that Shi Mei killed them both in a pretty brutal fashion in the second timeline just because it was useful to him. He did not even have a personal grudge the way Mo Ran did. Also, it is no coincidence that there are so many parallels between Rong Jiu, Song Qiutong and Shi Mei. The likeness between them is not just skin-deep. All three of them are cruel opportunists with no conscience to speak of and only their own self-interest in mind.

I feel that Meatbun wrote her novel as a detailed commentary on evil and human weakness and how people end up there, starting from mundane, petty, self-serving evil that is on display in a multitude of scenes in the book among ordinary, common people, to the absolutely unhinged extremism that we saw in Shi Mei. Song Qiutong and Rong Jiu are somewhere in the middle of the scale.