#rip to minos but i would have loved him.

[vamprisms]

minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son

[agloryofcelestials]

EE

[ultimateunidino]

now before I get into lore shit about this fuck I just gotta preface this.

Sariel lore applies by @muzzleroars fallen gabe Au and you can probably see a lot of inspiration from them in Sariels design and the other fallen angel ocs that are to come. (I've got another in the works but I'm trynna do get their fallen design completed)

THIS FUCK TOOK SEVERAL HOURS OF MY LIFE. I had to redesign his pre fall design (trust me the orginal looked like shit) and now that I'm so glad with how the redesign came out I wanna redesign his fallen design now. WHICH SUCKS.

Anyway lore and stuff below

Sariel before his fall was a high ranking virtue (like the highest rank a virtue can be before being an archangel). Sariel also was a highly skilled Archer, at one point being kinda the head of heavens archers.

This is the reason why the council decided that during the lust renousance that he would be one of the angels sent on a reconosanse mission just to see what was happening in hell at the moment.

During this trip he fell in love with a mortal women. Eventually though he did have to go back to heaven because the mission ended, but he'd still make special trips for them just to see them. Infact this affair lasted for a long while.

But eventually the council decided the lust renousance was to be ended. They appointed sariel to lead heavens archers but sariel refused. After a bit of prodding sariel eventually flat out protested ending the lust renousance. Which like pulling a loose thread on a sweater quickly lead to this affair being revealed.

But here's the neat part, when the council was about to inflicted his punishment instead of kneeling and accepting what was going to happen to him like most angels he did something different. He ran, he ran right out of heaven. (Which is considered a big nono!) It's considered cowardly not to accept defeat and specifically run from a fight or something like this. So if he wasn't in trouble before he's super fucked now.

So sariel ended up running to Hell. He went and found his love and then immediately told her to get the out of lust as fast as possible as heaven was going to burn the place to the ground any day now. This would be the last time he ever saw his mortal love again.

They hug and have a sweet moment before sariel rushes to try and get to where King Minos is to warn him of the impeding doom that is to come.

Unfortunately Sariel wasn't able to get to Minos Before heavens armies arrived. In the chaos Sariel ended up being caught and brought back before the council. Where he had his light ripped from him.

Now here's where Sariels story gets REAL interesting.

(but of a quality drop from the last one but eh)

Sariel some how managed to survive his fall and become a "fallen angel". Now since he ran instead of accepting his light being torn from him he wasn't treated with nearly as much respect as other fallen angels who get their own tombs. Sariel was left to rot where he lay. Only being dumped in the remains of lust.

Now here's the part where I answer the question on everyone's mind "why does fallen sariel look so human when he's a virtue?" Because it's his punishment.(I noticed that muzzleroars post about fallen angels didn't have a punishment for fallen lust angels but I kinda get why tbh so I had to come up with it myself)

Fallen angels of lust's punishment is to be forever trapped in the form they worshiped. Aka, trapped in their human disguise . Now to a human that doesn't seem that bad but that's since their human.

For an angel (especially less humanoid ones) it's highly uncomfortable to be in their human disguise for long periods of time. It's like wearing clothes several sizes to small. And now I wasn't able to convey this in the drawings but pre fall Sariel is taller then his human form by a couple feet minimum. Now from an outsiders pov there is no desernible difference from him being human. It also feels incredibly claustrophobic. I wanted to give Sariel a second pair of arms but I wasn't able to add it to the drawing.

But that's enough about his fall it's self let's get to what happens after.

So Sariel fell and is now in the middle of lust after it was decimated by heavens armies and now the corpse of king minos. At this point he's hopeless, he may have survived but to what?

Eventually he decides it would be better if he just descended into deeper into hell. On his adventures he started trying to build himself a replacement for his old armour which no longer fits him as it's designed to fit his much taller and more abstract body.

Although this had a surprising outcome. A pair of Street cleaners, being social creatures, noticed him one day going through junk to try and add to his armour. Well since he's an angel he's not techn biological. So they thought he was also a street cleaner. Just a heavily damaged one. They thought he couldn't beep and such because he was broken and that's why he didn't have aFlame thrower. And so Sariel completely defenceless in his human form was totally freaked out by these two machines.

But it ended up being like a wet stray cat being forcefully taken off the streets.

Eventually Sariel kinda ends up being the mechanic of the crew. He even ends up learning the language of beeps and boops the Street cleaners make although that took years.

They did eventually figure out he was an angel and not a fellow street cleaner but they all had known eachother for so long it did not matter.

This trio ends up going to wrath at one point (not sure why yet, probably blood).

But that leads to the next OC I've got lined up so no spoilers.

I'd also like to think at one point Sariel was by himself in heresy looking for machine parts probably singing to himself YMCA before he heard the distinct sound of one pissed off archangel, barely hiding in time. Only for Gabriel to like rage walk passed to get to the organ he was playing when he met V1 a second time.

He got the fuck out of dodge immediately after though.

That was also his closest encounter to any of the main four archangels in muzzleroars Au.

He had known of them maybe been in the same room as one of them but that was it.

[bellaswan-kinnie]

TTPD songs as characters from Greek mythology

I was inspired by the song Cassandra to find connections between other songs from TTPD and figures from Greek myth because it's not a Taylor Swift album cycle if I don't dedicate time to assigning each song to a fictional character!

I didn't do all of the songs because there's so fucking many so these are just the ones that first popped into my head... but there could possibly be a part two...

*TW: mentions of sexual assault and suicide

Fortnight // Clytemnestra

My husband is cheating I want to kill him

Of course I had to pick Clytemnestra for a song that references mariticide. Clytemnestra was the wife of King Agamemnon, the leader of the Greek forces during the Trojan War. Before setting sail, Agamemnon unknowingly killed a sacred deer of Artemis, and the goddess refused to let the winds blow any ships to Troy until he sacrificed his own daughter, Iphigenia. He told his wife and daughter that she was going to marry the great warrior Achilles, but instead, he sacrificed Iphigenia at the altar.

Clytemnestra spent the next ten years waiting for her husband to return from Troy. She began an affair with his cousin, Aegisthus, and together they plotted against him. When Agamemnon finally came home with the Trojan princess Cassandra as his war prize (yet another insult to his wife), Clytemnestra murdered both of them.

The Tortured Poets Department // Eurydice

You left your typewriter at my apartment Straight from the Tortured Poets Department Who else decodes you?

I chose Eurydice for this song only because I think she would relate to the shenanigans of dating a melodramatic musician. Eurydice was the wife of Orpheus, the most renowned poet and musician in Greek mythology. Most famously, when Eurydice died prematurely of a snake bite, Orpheus traveled to the Underworld and convinced Hades to release her. The god did so under the condition that Orpheus did not look back at Eurydice until they had reached the surface, but tragically, he failed. Orpheus was later ripped apart by the Maenads (female followers of Dionysus) in their anger at his unrelenting mourning.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys // Hera

I'm queen of sandcastles he destroys

Hera, queen of the Olympians and sister-wife of Zeus, was the supreme authority on being delusional in a relationship. Zeus was notoriously unfaithful to Hera (the goddess of marriage?!!?), fathering a comical number of bastard children. Hera was in turn notorious for taking out her anger on the women involved in these affairs, regardless of their willingness to participate in them, and the children they bore.

Down Bad // Ariadne

How dare you think it's romantic Leaving me safe and stranded Cause fuck it, I was in love

I actually started writing this post because I was listening to Down Bad the other day and it suddenly hit me that this song is soooo Ariadne.

Ariadne was the daughter of King Minos and Queen Pasiphaë of Crete. She aided the Athenian hero Theseus when he came to Crete to slay the Minotaur. The creature was contained in an elaborate labyrinth, so Ariadne gave Theseus a ball of thread to help him navigate the maze. After he killed the Minotaur, Ariadne ran away with Theseus, having betrayed her family and her home.

The pair stopped at the island of Naxos, where Theseus abandoned her while she slept. She awoke and watched his ship sail away in despair (literally "waving at the ship"), but soon the god Dionysus descended from heaven and made her his immortal wife.

But Daddy I Love Him // Helen

I'm telling him to floor it through the fences No, I'm not coming to my senses I know he's crazy but he's the one I want

Talk about a love affair causing a big ol' ruckus! Helen was the queen of Sparta and wife of Menelaus (Agamemnon's brother). When Paris, a prince of Troy, traveled to Sparta, the two fell in love and she ran away with him back to Troy (there are versions of the story where she's abducted, but I'm not referring to those here). This set off what we know as the Trojan War, the legendary conflict between the alliance of Greeks and the people of Troy. Paris was ultimately killed and Menelaus took Helen back to Sparta. Obviously the happy ending for the couple in "But Daddy I Love Him" is not what awaited Helen and Paris, but the sentiment is there!

Helen also faced a great deal of judgement from both the Greeks and the Trojans. She was blamed for causing all of that death and destruction despite the Greeks' preexisting desires to invade Troy for economic reasons. She was later dubbed "the face that launched a thousand ships" by 16th century playwright Christopher Marlowe. The scrutiny Helen has faced is akin to the kind Taylor wrote about in this song, especially considering how both women were unfairly blamed for the actions of others.

Guilty as Sin? // Phaedra

I'm seeing visions, am I bad? Or mad? Or wise? What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh Only in my mind?

This one's gonna be a little uncomfy but just hear me out!! Phaedra was the wife of Theseus, the slayer of the Minotaur who earlier I mentioned had abandoned Ariadne. Phaedra and Ariadne were actually sisters, and Phaedra was married to Theseus later in his life. He already had a son named Hippolytus, who had taken a vow of chastity as a devotee to Artemis. In Euripides' tragic play, Hippolytus, Aphrodite was insulted by this, so she made his stepmother Phaedra fall in love with him.

Phaedra was so deeply ashamed of her feelings for Hippolytus that she became suicidal. Her nurse tried to help her by telling Hippolytus about it in the hopes that he would reciprocate, but he was disgusted. Phaedra then hung herself and tried to hide her reasons by accusing her stepson of rape in a note. When Theseus read it, he called upon Poseidon to kill Hippolytus.

... So if there was one character I could say experienced a similar degree of shame-filled yearning as Taylor described in this song... Phaedra would be her.

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? // Medusa

Cause you lured me, and you hurt me, and you taught me You caged me, and then you called me crazy I am what I am cause you trained me

The most iconic female monster in Western culture, Medusa embodies the spirit of this song. "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" conjures up images of a terrifying, crazed female figure who lives in her lair and haunts the local population, similar to the infamy of Medusa and her Gorgon sisters during the mythical Age of Heroes. The Gorgons of Greek antiquity were described as hideous monsters with large tusks, golden wings, and snakes for hair, so terrifying that the sight of them turned the onlooker to stone. The demigod Perseus was sent to retrieve Medusa's head by King Polydectes as a ploy to get rid of him so he could marry Perseus' mother. With the help of Athena and Hermes, Perseus snuck up on Medusa while she was sleeping and decapitated her. He continued to use her severed head as a weapon to turn his enemies to stone, including King Polydectes.

The Roman poet Ovid included an alternate version of Medusa's origin in his narrative poem Metamorphoses. In it, Medusa was a beautiful maiden, most renowned for her luscious hair. Neptune/Poseidon violated her in Minerva/Athena's temple, and the goddess punished Medusa for this offense by transforming her hair into snakes. This characterization of Medusa as a victim of the gods' cruelty has become the predominant one in in our culture, and the idea of an innocent woman being turned into a monster by the powers that be is very resonant with "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?"

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived // Medea

Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden I would've died for your sins instead I just died inside And you deserve prison but you won't get time

There's so many songs on TTPD that are extremely Medea coded but if I had to choose just one it's definitely this (So Long, London is a CLOSE second. I mean... woman who sacrifices everything just to live in a foreign land with a man who doesn't love her... but I digress).

Like Ariadne, Medea betrayed her father, King Aeëtes of Colchis, to help the hero Jason steal the Golden Fleece and then ran away with him. Medea was a powerful witch who used her magic and guile to defeat many of Jason's enemies for him. Euripides' tragedy Medea told the story of the downfall of their marriage ten years later. The couple was living in exile in the city of Corinth with their two sons, but one day Medea discovered that Jason had left and married the local king's daughter. If that doesn't sound like the smallest man who ever lived I don't know what does!

In her rage, Medea decided to murder Jason's new bride and her own children instead of processing her feelings by writing songs about them.

The Albatross // Pandora

Wise men once said "One bad seed kills the garden" "One less temptress, One less dagger to sharpen"

"The Albatross" references our society's history of demonizing women as harbingers of destruction. Just as Judeo-Christian mythology blamed the origin of sin on the first woman, Eve, the Ancient Greeks credited Pandora as the curser of humanity. Like Eve, Pandora was the first human woman, formed from earth. However, Pandora (and therefore the entire race of women) was intentionally designed as a punishment for men after Prometheus gave them stolen fire from heaven. The gods made her irresistibly beautiful and gave her a jar which contained all the evils and hardships of the world, which she then unleashed by opening it. Only Hope remained trapped inside.

I Hate It Here // Circe

Lucid dreams like electricity The current flies through me And in my fantasies I rise above it And way up there, I actually love it

THE introvert of Greek mythology was Circe, daughter of the sun god Helios and the Oceanid Perse. She's best known for her appearance in The Odyssey as the witch who turned Odysseus' men into pigs when they landed on her island Aeaea. "I Hate It Here" reminded me of Madeline Miller's version of the character, who was forced to live in exile but found comfort in her solitude through her magical craft.

The Prophecy // Achilles

Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo The prophecy?

Known as "the best of the Greeks," Achilles was a central figure in Homer's The Iliad, the epic poem set during the tenth and final year of the Trojan War. The poem depicts Achilles' wrath, most notably, following the death of his beloved companion, Patroclus.

Prior to the war, Achilles' mother, the Nereid Thetis, prophesied that he would either achieve glory and die young or live a long, unremarkable life. When the Greeks started gathering their forces to invade Troy, Achilles attempted to hide and avoid the war, but Odysseus sought him out because he was also prophesied to be the only way the Greeks could win against the Trojans. Achilles ultimately fulfilled both prophecies, defeating the Trojans' best warrior, Prince Hector, and then dying in battle.

In The Odyssey, Odysseus travelled to the Underworld and spoke to Achilles, telling him how highly-regarded he was among the Greeks and the dead. Achilles expressed his regret over choosing the short and glorious life, saying,

I would prefer to be a workman, hired by a poor man on a peasant farm, than rule as king of all the dead.

Peter // Penelope

But I let the lamp burn As the men masqueraded I hoped you'd return

Penelope was the wife of Odysseus, king of Ithaca and a key figure in the Trojan War. She spent 20 years waiting for her husband to return from Troy, and during that time her household was plagued by suitors (the men masquerading!!) who tried to pressure her into remarrying. Penelope remained faithful to her husband and came up with a clever trick to stall the suitors until Odysseus returned. She told them that she would choose her new husband after she finished weaving a burial shroud for her father-in-law, Laertes, but every night, she would undo most of the day's work.

Unlike Peter in the song, Odysseus did return to Penelope, but she didn't accept him until he proved his worth and his identity.

The Bolter // Daphne

Then he'll call her a 'whore' Wish he wouldn't be sore But as she was leaving It felt like breathing

The nymph Daphne was the daughter of the river god Peneus. She was pursued by many but wished to remain a virgin forever like the goddess Diana/Artemis.

The god Apollo boasted to Cupid after slaying the dragon Python, and in retaliation Cupid shot his arrows at Apollo and Daphne, but the one that pierced Daphne inspired repulsion instead of love. Apollo then chased Daphne relentlessly. The nymph eventually tired from running and she begged her father to save her. She then transformed into the first laurel tree, whose leaves represent victory.

Really the only similarity between Daphne and "The Bolter" is the running bit... but I had to!

[minophus]

Have you any thoughts and headcanons on minos/sisyphus/gabe?

I wrote more than i thought i would

i love ponderinf their dynamic all togehter. gabriel is here to make sure everything is in order and minos is continuing to carry out punishments, sisyphus is visitng not just for possible political advantages and seeing if he can get any resources for his people, but also bc with the many times hes seen minos before theyve gotten quite close despite their differed ways of thinking and rule. Gabe uses this for an opportunjty as well to study sisyphus.

minos and gabe - also get along, but minos has a tendwncy to push gabriel to getmore comfortable..Cease donning thine armor, perhaps a toga instead? it will do better keeping you comfortable rather than that armor. they have discussions about his citizens and as the lust renaissamce began to rear its head minos would gush about how his city is flourishing and his citizens seem so Happy in their expression and it would make gabriel so uncomfortable because 1 the council wouldnt like this 2 hearing about free self expression and free will to do what people want to do with their bodies and with others. It cuts a little too deep into his masculinity. Minos' open expressions of femininity make him uncomfortable too as the two of them get closer and minos opens up bc hes shaking gabriels image of a man thats been forced upon him for milennia. Its very interesting.

minos and sisyphus - again, their relationship(not explicitly romantic, they couldnt uphold that) came about through political affairs. sisyphus trying to get resources to his people which he couldnt quite abundantly so do .. Until the renaissance:). they get along quite well time going on esp with Minos defying god as he does fpr the sake of his people Bejng a thing sisyphus seriously admires.. it helps that he has a city and not a wide open desert. minos is verrry physically affectionate w sisyphus not just out of bodily admiration(who wouldnt be. this guy works the hell out hes got good form) but also to combo w his verbal appreciation and admiration of how hands-on sisyphus is with helping his subjects as much as he can in his fleeting moments of grace. minos also has a Terrific libido and sisyphus is kind of the complete opposite of him. He likes to tease minos every now and then about it(can be taken two ways).

minos for the both of them LOVES offering food and fruits and sweets. gabriel always turns it down until that fated apple. Sisyphus absoluyrly tears up any meal minos has prepared for him. He fucks it up. He tears it the hell up. He asks for more and more until he cannot take it anymore(HA) and he will promptly fall asleep less than an hour afterward. After such hard work and such a good meal you can only imagine how sleepy he gets. minos joins him in the bed for cuddles before sisyphus conks out. If gabriel happens to visit at the same time(and if sisyphus let his guard down enough TO indulge and fall asleep)hed. very deep down. be very jealous. he wants to join in.

gabriel and sisyphus - very tense. Always a tension in the air when theyre in the same room. sisyphus isnt outwardly rude but hes very passive aggressive and kind of verbally rips into him and Reads him like an open book all on account of gabriel being an angel. Used by oppressors to further continue enforcing punishments, and he blindly follows them in the name of faith. another tjing sisyphus would call out.

Gabby @ sisyphus hmm, hes very polite w him upon first meeting. if sisyphus wasnt a lowly sinner he'd almost be intimidated. they wouldnt talk much outside of sisyphus prodding about this and that to have any chance to learn gabriels weaknesses, and gabriel does the same albeit not with tactical purposes in mind. i dont think he anticipated a rebellion. Sisyphus upon seeing a Pattern with how subtly flustered gabriel would use that against him(very silly way to passively take out anger on gabriel. he has hardly any control in his layer despite being king. he has so much passionate hatred for the angels. This is how he feels powerful)

..realistically all 3 would never willingly physically get super close solely on account of gabriel and sisyphus. yes gabsisyphus fall asleep w Minos a few times legs intertwined. but the two of them would never happen. But heres the thing im playing with my touys

[mr-f3l7]

While we're on the subject of Greek Monsters being Victims

I honestly feel pretty bad for the Minotaur.

First some backstory; A prince named Minos was competing with his brother from the throne of their island, Crete, and decided the best way to get a one up on his brother was to show the gods favored him. So he prayed to Poseidon for his favor and Poseidon decided, "Yeah, sure", and gifted Minos a pure white bull as a sign of favor.

(A side note, historically ancient Crete had a huge thing for Bulls, most of their surviving culture heavily featured bovine sigils which might explain how this story came to be and so on).

The Cretans, who loved Bulls, of course recognized what this meant and Minos ascended to the throne. Of course, here is where the classic mortal arrogance steps on divine pride comes in. See, Minos was supposed to sacrifice the bull to Poseidon as a show of thanks but Minos decided that he liked the white bull far too much to simply kill, so he sacrificed a different bull and kept Poseidon's cow hoping he could have his cake and eat it too. Poseidon was reasonably a bit pissed that this mortal reneged on their very simple deal and decided some wildly indiscriminate divine judgement was called for.

Poseidon decided the most poetic thing to do was to make Minos' wife love the Bull even more than anyone on Crete, even Minos... by, like, a lot. Like, a lot. Long story short, Minos had a bastard son who was half bull and was horrified. According to the myth, the Minotaur was originally raised by Minos' wife but quickly became vicious and as an unnatural beast feasted on human flesh since it had no actual place in the food chain. To contain it, Minos tasked Daedalus to construct a massive labyrinth to contain the Minotaur.

There it would languish for years, lost in the dark and even used as a sadistic form of execution for Minos' enemies, specifically Athenian men and women handed over to Minos after he waged war with them until eventually Theseus would arrive and slay the Minotaur.

Now, you may be wondering why I would feel bad for this guy. By all accounts, the Minotaur had no chance of growing out of its monstrous ways. Very quickly it turned into a man-eating beast with violent tendencies. How can it compare to another tragic myth like Medusa?

Generally, I think the fact it had no chance to begin with is tragic in and of itself. Medusa was a victim of divine crossfire between Athena and Poseidon, while the Minotaur was a victim of Divine Circumstance. Poseidon didn't care what became of the Minotaur after it was born, merely that it came into this world to torment Minos after he was slighted by the mortal. Perhaps there was a chance it could have overcome its base instincts, but the Minotaur was from the start designed and intended to be a horrifying beast.

It was despised by Minos from the moment it drew breath, and it certainly horrified the people of ancient Greece. It must have grown physically much faster than it did mentally, and with an unnatural mix of animalistic instinct and human mentality would have made it difficult to handle without being able to rip men and women limb from limb. It would spend the rest of its life wandering a dark maze, feasting on whoever Minos threw in there to survive.

I think the last point that gets me is that monsters don't have names. Minotaur is an anglicized version of its Greek name, Minotauros, meaning the Bull of Minos, which was a description of what it was but it also had a name; Asterion, after Minos' foster father. It was a half-animal that probably deserved to be put down, but in the end it was a thing that was brought into a world that would despise it and never had the chance to learn and be better.

It makes me wonder if the Minotaur being a mindless monster with no hope is the better option than a confused and neglected creature who had no choice but to become the beast his people saw him as.

[silversiren1101]

How about 'laughter' for the Hellpair?

OHHHH YES GREAT WORD GREAT WORD

Ask Game - Ship + Headcanons

Regill has an absolutely wonderful laugh - and not just because it's practically a once in a lifetime event! With how deep and silky yes gravely his voice is, his earnest laughter is just the same and incredibly endearing. It doesn't have an evil tone to it at all when it's entirely honest and natural and he's laughing because something is genuinely funny to him. [That being said, I don't think he's above a gloating 'muahaha' snicker/chuckle, especially since he does dryly chuckle multiple times during the game at various things.]

He claims it's only ever happened 4 times in the game, and I am absolutely claiming one of those as having been caused by Mino for sure. During a victory gala put on for the Hellknight Orders by House Thrune after the civil war, she purposefully tripped a minor Thrune cousin with her tail during a tandem dance he 'invited' (read: negged the shit out of her) her to share with him. The Thruneling hit the floor so hard that his doublet burst open, scattering buttons across the floor alongside an audible tear of ripping trousers. She had complete plausible deniability, especially as the guy had just insulted her dancing skills and claimed that he would go slow and simple since "surely she was so clumsy with that monstrous tail."

Regill had to swiftly excuse himself from the ballroom to not make the situation worse trying not to laugh. When she found him later outside, she commented on it with some really dry humor and he burst into a peal of laughter catching her so off-guard... and so painfully flustered. She then had to leave because of how hard her heart was beating and how sick she felt swooning over him - practically sick to her stomach and trembling from it.

Anyway - she makes him laugh a handful more times later in life when they get together, but it never stops having that same effect on her. It's her favorite sound, and so awfully rare. She turns into a giddy mess when she hears it, pretty much breathless and like falling in love all over again.

[concubuck]

Actually curious (sorry if this has already been answered) what inspired you to make a succubus alastor?

Several things!

Reason number one: I am ace/aro! Alastor is the first ace character I latched onto as a character I could see a facet of myself in (while prior ace characters, who kinda disinterested me, just sorta made me go "oh that's neat I guess"), and because of that, I like playing around with his sexuality and exploring his psychology in different ways in different fanworks.

Sometimes that means "I'll write him as asexual/aromantic in exactly the same way as me." Sometimes it means "I'll write him as a sex-neutral ace having sex for the first time and being really bored by the whole thing bc that makes a lot more sense to me than all the 'naive virgin Alastor introduced to the wonders of sex' stories I see." Sometimes it means "I'll write him hypnotized to temporarily feel allo and focus on what's going on in his head as he slides in and out of hypnosis bc I think it would be interesting to feel allo for a day as long as I could turn it off."

And then sometimes it means going "My orientation affects not only my internal identity, but also my life goals and interests, how I approach my relationships with other people, and how I understand the culture around me. If I suddenly magically became allo, I'd feel like a fundamental part of my personality had been ripped off of me. So I'm going to inflict that on my favorite character."

I've seen a fair amount of Alastor shipping fanworks that attempt to make him demi-ace or demi-aro by, like, treating him like a Disney princess: he lives a pure, chaste existence untroubled by thoughts of romance (except perhaps for longing that he could experience it too) until his One True Love comes into the picture, at which point he naturally slides into very allo attraction for that one person, and the fact that that's the first person special enough to win his heart is treated as something romantic. And like, if people wanna do that, okay, that's their business, fandom is for wish fulfillment, I'm not gonna stomp on their fun. But it rings hollow to me. I've seen enough media that portrays the inability to love (sexually or romantically) as unnatural and a horror; I want to take a character for whom lovelessness is natural and portray forcing desire on him as the horror story.

There's a reason I wrote that he loses his asexuality* at the same time that he loses his humanity. I wanted to make them equivalent to each other.

(*although he hasn't technically lost his asexuality. Really, he still does meet the definition of ace—you may notice that he never expresses actual attraction to other characters, with the possible dubious exception of other versions of himself—but "ace cursed to feel incurable horny until he fucks" is far enough from where he started that he no longer sees himself as ace.)

Reason number two: I stumbled across some demonology lore somewhere idk when, over a year ago, saying that some texts on demonology claim that particularly impressive sinners might get promoted out of the general population of sinners to join the devils responsible for inflicting the punishments on sinners.

I've yet to track down the source of that particular nugget, although you can see evidence of it in Christian lore; for instance, King Minos of Greek mythology decides where souls go in Hades after death, and he's imported into Christian mythology with the same role in Dante's Inferno—which makes him a dead human who's been given judicial power and an important governing role in Hell.

Plus you've got Lilith—who usually I try not to dig too deep into, since there's like, basically no way to stick Lilith into Christian lore without it simply being straight up appropriation of a Jewish figure—but the fact remains that she HAS been put into Hazbin, and if they do ANY exploration of her backstory at all, the odds are better than not that they're going to stick with the "human who became a demon" backstory rather than making her an OC who just so happens to be named Lilith, which means her existence indicates there's a precedent within the Hazbin universe for former humans to be promoted out of their humanity.

I headcanon that one of Alastor's primary motivations is to become extremely powerful, but not as a way to control others; rather, as a way to free himself from anybody else's control. He's not unfettered as long as he's still an eternally convicted criminal stuck in a giant prison where an execution squad swoops in once a year to kill a random swath of the population. "Become a full demon and be freed from the sinners' imprisonment" would appeal to him, particularly since we know that the magical potential of humans caps out well below the potential of high-ranked demons.

Succubus seemed like a sensible position for where ex-humans would have to start out in Hell's hierarchy: it's low but not rock bottom on the social ladder, they physically resemble humans more than any other group of demons we've seen, and they're the only group of demons we've seen entrusted with jobs on Earth that involve socialization with humans. Myths about demons even claim they're reproductively compatible with humans (albeit via sometimes convoluted methods). So I decided that's where ex-humans have to start.

Reason number three: my asexuality manifests as "I don't wanna have sex, people don't attract me, even imagining myself in sexual scenarios grosses me out; but I dolike imagining imaginary people having imaginary sex." I wanted to manufacture a reason why it would be IC for Alastor to act OOC enough to have a lot of sex, but in a way that would still let me focus on plot development and characterization and angst because pure substanceless smut without an undercurrent of Character Study bores me after the first, like, two replies.

(And yet, for all that, thus far none of my actual kinks have made a full appearance on this blog. Unless you count the fact that Alastor's miserable. I'm pretty sure "giving my favorite characters a miserable time" counts as one of my kinks lmfao.)

[goodfemalecharacters]

because there’s nothing I do better than spite-write.  an AU where Sam and Eileen meet in 2002, when Sam is at Stanford.  1k.

Eileen doesn’t expect to see anyone in the library this early.  Don’t college kids have hangovers to sleep off on Saturday mornings?  And yet, she’s not alone in the stacks.

The kid in question is probably her age, maybe a year or two older, and he keeps staring at her when he thinks Eileen isn’t paying attention.  It’s annoying because the back of her neck won’t stop pricking, even though she knows some snooty rich Stanford student is hardly a threat.  Not for a seasoned hunter, anyway.  And no matter what Lillian had to say on the subject, Eileen is plenty seasoned.

It’s getting really hard to concentrate with the kid’s eyes on the back of her head.  It doesn’t help that he’s kind of cute in a floppy, puppy-ish sort of way.  He’s probably never worked a day in his life.  He has a stack of books next to him that’s nearly as tall as he is sitting down, which is really saying something.  Surely he doesn’t need that many.

Eileen rolls her eyes and returns to her book.  It’s in Greek, and she hates trying to read Greek.  Latin, she can handle, but Greek drives her up a wall.

The kid wanders behind her, ostensibly to run his fingers over the books on the shelf next to her, but Eileen can feel his eyes on the back of her head and then on her notes.  She fights back the urge to scoff.

“See something you like?” she snaps at last, whipping around to face him.

She very nearly smacks face-first into his chest because he’s standing almost directly behind her.  The kid takes a half step back, his shoulders colliding with the bookshelf.  He’s really a deer in the headlights, and for a second, Eileen almost feels bad.

“Um.  Sorry.” 

He puts his hand on his chest and moves it, counter-clockwise.  Eileen can’t stop herself from smiling.  He smiles, too, broad and dimpled.

“Actually, it’s the other way.”

He corrects it instantly. “Sorry.  I took a class last semester, but I didn’t have room in my schedule for the follow-up.”

“Most people don’t know any,” Eileen says with a shrug. 

It’s rare to find someone who bothers.  There’s Lillian, obviously.  But even she gets frustrated sometimes.  A few months ago, she’d made Eileen lookout on a hunt, and the ghost—identifiable to Lillian through its moaning—had turned out to be invisible.  Eileen had noticed it eventually, thanks to the dust on a bookshelf moving in a gust of wind, but it had been too late.  

(Eileen forcibly shakes off the memory of Lillian screaming loudly enough to shake the floorboards as Eileen stitched up her arm with shaking hands.)

“They should,” he says, awkwardly.

A smile tugs on the corner of Eileen’s mouth. “Yeah.  They should.”

The kid sticks out his hand.  Eileen hesitates for a brief second before taking it.  There’s a faint memory of calluses on his palms, which takes her by surprise.  She schools her expression back into something neutral by the time he meets her eyes again.

“I’m Sam.”

“Eileen.  Did nobody ever teach you staring is rude?”

He releases her hand so he can put both of his in the air defensively. “Sorry.  That’s usually my spot.  I’m not used to seeing other people up here, especially this early on a Saturday.” 

She raises her eyebrows. “You usually sit in the mythology section?”

“It’s quiet.  Besides, I’ve always sort of been interested in that sort of stuff,” Sam says with a shrug. “Classics major?”

“Yeah, that’s me.” It explains the Greek, anyway. “Big classics fan.”

It’s not like it’s against the rules for a member of the general public to be in this library.  But it would definitely raise more questions if Sam discovered that she wasn’t a student.  Stanford is a big enough school, even if Eileen’s too-big canvas jacket and mud-caked boots make her stick out like a sore thumb.

“I think I’m gonna be pre-law, but I’m a freshman, so I’m undecided so far.  There are too many interesting classes to take to commit yet.”

He takes the opportunity to lean over her shoulder again.  Eileen lets him.  It’s not like he’s going to be able to understand much of it anyway.  He smells like cheap shampoo, the kind that Lillian snags from the few motels they stay in that provide it.

“The word you’re missing there is ‘minotaur,’ I think,” he says, brow furrowed. 

Eileen looks down at it again. “What makes you say that?”

Sam shrugs. “Sometimes these things can be really metaphorical.  The more direct translation is labyrinth-dweller.  The most famous thing I can think of that lived in a labyrinth was—”

“Minos’ minotaur,” Eileen finishes, jotting it down. “That makes a lot of sense, actually.”

The first vic had been stabbed in the stomach.  They’d been thinking that it had been a weapon, but what if it had been a horn?  

When she looks up, Sam is all dimples again.  She smiles back.  It feels like when she and Lillian reach a conclusion at the same time, but better, because Sam hasn’t snapped at her about finding the answer quicker.

“Wait.  You can read Greek?”

Sam nods. “A little.”

Knowing the word ‘labyrinth’ in Greek is more than a little, but Eileen doesn’t say so.  For the first time, she notices a certain thinness to his cheeks, and a certain nervousness to the way his eyes dart around the room.

He didn’t have enough to eat as a kid, he’s assessing exits like his life depends on it, and he knows Greek off the top of his head.  Eileen wonders if he has a knife in the pocket of that big brown hoodie to match hers.

For a crazy, wild moment, she considers asking him.  Then, she crashes back down to reality.  If she and Lillian don’t get a move on, the Minotaur is going to strike again.  She can’t let an innocent person die because she’s too busy flirting.

“Thanks,” she says, gathering her papers together. “That was the last piece I needed.”

The papers crumple together in her duffle bag.  Eileen usually likes to keep her research tidy, but her last file folder ripped a week and a half ago, and they’ve been too busy to replace them.  She shoves the book in, too.  She’ll jog out of the library if the little alarm sounds.  Lillian prefers it when she can see the research firsthand.

“Oh.  You’re welcome.” Sam smiles. “Do you have somewhere to be?”

Another smile creeps up on her face before she catches it. “Why?”

“It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to talk Greek mythology with someone who knows their stuff,” Sam jokes.  Then, “Plus, I just earned my first free coffee at the shop down the street.”

Eileen feels a ‘yes’ at the tip of her tongue, but she forces it back.  She scrambles to think of a plausible excuse instead.

“Can’t.  I’ve got a study session.  I’d love to, though.”

His face falls, but he recovers pretty quickly. “Maybe another time.  Here.”

Sam hurries back over to his own table and pulls a piece of paper out of his notebook.  Eileen stands, hauling her duffle over her shoulder.  He nearly knocks over his stack of books in his haste.

“My number.  For when you’re free to talk about King Minos,” he says, holding it over.

Eileen folds it carefully and places it in her pocket. “Thanks, Sam.  Really.”

He signs ‘thank you,’ back to her, even though it doesn’t really fit.  Eileen hasn’t smiled this much in so long.  Her cheeks hurt.  She feels Sam’s eyes on the back of her head until she’s out of his sight, and she’s red to the tips of her ears.

Twelve hours later, once Lillian and Eileen have killed the Minotaur, Eileen takes the little scrap of paper and lets it flutter on to the floor next to its bloody corpse.  If Sam has really gotten out of this life, she’s not going to be the one to drag him back in.

No matter how nice his smile is.

(thanks to @uglyorangejacket for being so excited <3)

[imanativeofswlondondahling]

Becoming A Stark? (1) Peter Parker X Stark! Fem Reader

A/N: This will eventually be a Peter Parker X Stark! femReader. However, there was backstory needed so Peter won’t be introduced until Chapter Six. This takes place after Iron Man 3 but before AOU. However time is wishy washy and will pass in weird ways so lol opps. Let me know if you want to be tagged.

Word Count: 3073

Warnings: Swearing

You feel it in your soul that you will hate Tony Stark for the rest of your life. It doesn’t matter that you’re related to him. It doesn’t matter that you’re his daughter. He ripped you from everything you’ve ever known. You were happy living with your grandparents. Sure they were getting up there in age, but you were happy. You had a life, you had friends, hell you had been working on moving forward with your crush and were hoping to have a date to homecoming this year. But all of that was ruined the day that Tony Stark waltzed through your front door. You can’t help but think back to that interaction. 

“Nana, who’s this?”

“Tony Stark. Genius, billionaire, philanthropist, Iron Man, to name a few things. I’d offer a hand but that’s not something I normally do. I guess, maybe I should due to the circumstances but…” It’s not the first time you’ve seen his face. The Avengers have saved New York a few times, but it is the first time you’ve seen him up close. The dark haired stranger trails off and you’re put off by his attitude alone. Why was someone this stuck up standing in your living room? So instead of saying anything, you turn your head back to your book. Tony decides to take a seat at the opposite end of the couch and tries again. “What are you reading?” 

Instead of answering, you just hold up the book and let him read the cover. Once and Future, spelled out on the spine of the book that you had removed the book jacket from while you read. “Y/N, maybe put the book down for a few minutes. I think Mr. Stark-”

“Tony is fine.”

“I think Tony and you need to discuss something.” You hesitantly pick up the receipt you had been using as a bookmark and slide it into the book, not wanting to leave Ari Helix behind, but you wouldn’t be rude to your Nana on a good day. On a day that you had trudged through the snow in your converse, maybe, but not on purpose.

“I don’t know him. I don’t think we have anything to discuss.”

“You’re right, we don’t know each other yet, but I’m hoping that will change with everything that’s going to happen.”

“What’s going to happen?” You can feel your eyebrows fall towards your eyes as you feel as though something is about to change without your permission.

“Well Y/N, I’m… I’m your dad.”

“Bullshit.” You say quickly. “Tony Stark doesn’t have kids. And if he did, there would have been a fucking gossip blog screaming about it already.”

“Well you definitely have my mouth if nothing else.” Tony adds with a chuckle. 

“I don’t have anything of yours, because you’re not my dad. I never want to see you again. Get the fuck out.” You push off the couch and turn to run off to your room.

“See that’s going to be a little tough seeing as you're supposed to come live with me.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” You turn on your heels, the anger building quickly. You’ve always been a bit of a hot head, but in this moment you don’t even try to control your temper. “I have a home, thank you very kindly. I don’t fucking know you. And I’m not looking to find a dad anytime soon.” The words spit out of you before you can stop any of them. 

“See the thing is, you’re fourteen and I’m your dad. Custodially, you’re supposed to live with me.”

“See the thing is,” you mock before continuing, “You didn’t care for fourteen years, so I don’t give a shit what you think you’re supposed to be doing custodially.��� You can’t help but add air quotes around the word custodially. It burns as it leaves your lips. He hasn’t cared about you for fourteen years, why start now? 

“That’s because I didn’t know you existed Y/N. I found out about you twenty four hours ago and I’m stepping up now.” The words leave his mouth in an exasperated tone, but he doesn’t raise his voice.

“How?”

“How what?”

“How did you find out about me?” 

“Your high school.”

“What?”

“When you registered for school they had your birth certificate. They needed more information. Since it listed me as your father, they reached out to Nat- to my assistant. It was quite the shock to me that my child’s school was reaching out to me, since I didn’t know I had a child but the timing adds up and looking at you, it makes a lot of sense.”

“You were listed on my birth certificate?” This question was aimed at your grandparents more than at Tony-your father.

“We didn’t know if it was true or not. Your mom was in a bad place when she had you Y/N. So we had to take everything she said with a grain of salt. Was she beautiful and loving and did she love you? Yes completely. But did a lot of what she said during that time make sense? No, not at all.” Your nana says as she sits down on the couch, rubbing her knee. It’s probably another bad day. If you leave, who will make sure Nana and Pops are ok?

“I can’t go with you.” You cross your arms as you speak to Ton-your father.

“Why not?” His eyebrow raises over his square glasses.

“‘Cuz someone has to help Nana and Pops around the house.”

“I’ll make sure there’s a nurse helping them. Or better we can move them into a nursing facility where they don’t have to go up and down a bunch of flights of steps all the time.”

“Why would you do that.” The question came out as a demand, especially since you don’t want to believe this man that’s taking you away from the only family you’ve ever known would do something… nice.

“Because they’re your family. I’m not heartless. Well I guess that depends on what your belief on science is and arc reactors are, but technically I do still have a heart underneath all of this.” He points to where you know there would be metal and lights under his suit. “But for right now, we need to focus on getting you to the tower.”

“What tower?”

“Avenger’s tower? It’s closer than Malibu? And in less shambles.”

“So you’re moving me from the home that I know and love, but you don’t even live where you’re moving me?”

“I live there a lot of the time. And the Avengers are there most of the time which means you’ll be very safe. But I do have to travel for business.”

“Then I’ll stay where I am thanks.” Tony goes to speak when Wallace goes off. The beeping is only jarring for him since you and your Nana are used to it going off at random times.

“What the hell is that?”

“That is Wallace.” You say, not clearing up anything. Hmmm, your Dexcom says you’re 205 and rising? You could have sworn you had insulin on board. So you unclip the pump from your side and tap the screen to enter your blood sugar. No correction needed. 

“You good babydoll?” Your nana asks from across the living room.

“I’m good. I have insulin on board.”

“You’re diabetic?” Tony asks, putting two and two together.

“Yup. Have been since I was four.”

“And Wallace?” He asks hesitantly.

“Do you honestly care?” You say before rolling your eyes and walking towards the kitchen. Mentally, you slap yourself. You should have grabbed your book. Now you’ll either have to start a new one or wait until your father, you roll your eyes at even saying it, leaves so you can continue your space adventure. Walking down the hallway you enter your room and close the door behind you. All you want to do is shut out the bombshell that was dropped on you and not deal with it. But for some reason you get the feeling that Tony Stark, freaking Iron Man, isn’t one to just let things go. 

Giving up on the idea of starting another book, you open your computer and click your Spotify to start playing the playlist you had paused this morning when you had left to run errands with Pops. You only have two weeks of summer left, so you had spent time getting school supplies and groceries before returning to the apartment. While Hitchin’ A Ride by Green Day starts playing, you open Twitter, hoping for anything to distract yourself. But somehow you find yourself on Tony Stark’s Twitter. It was less narcissistic that you imagined for him. Some retweets about Stark Industries, a few comical tweets about wanting a cheeseburger, and then a tweet from twenty four hours that just said HOLY SHIT in all caps and nothing else. Could that be about you? Closing out Twitter, you find yourself opening up your Tumblr to scroll as Lithium by Nirvana played. Or well you tried to scroll, but a knock on your door interrupts you. 

“Can I come in?” Tony’s head peaks in.

“If I say no will you go?” You say without looking up.

“Probably not. The people in my inner circle say I’m fairly stubborn.”

“Hmm.” Is the only reply you give him. To be fair, a lot of your friends would say you’re stubborn too so it’s not that surprising that your father is too. 

“I know you don’t like it kiddo-”

“Don’t call me kiddo.

“-but we do need to head to the Tower soon. Happy’s been parked downstairs for about as long as he’s allowed to be there.” Tony continues as if you hadn’t said anything. “So how about you pack up stuff you’ll need for the next few days and then I can send Happy and some other people to come get the rest later on?”

“You’re going to send people to pack up my stuff? You know how invasive that is?” 

“Ok, I’ll send you over with them, you can pack it up and they’ll move it to the tower, it’s your choice. Or to Malibu if you’d rather. Well that is once the rebuild is done. Long story. But if you stay at the tower, you won’t have to change schools.”

“Yippee. Everyone at school will get to find out that Tony Stark is my father. How much fun will that be.” Your voice is dripping with sarcasm. “I definitely wanted to be ostracized my first year at high school. Thanks for making it even better than I could ever imagine high school being.”

“Look I know this isn’t a win/win scenario, but we can keep your name out of the press until your eighteen if you want. You’re a minor-”

“Yeah, but when the paparazzi see me coming out of the tower, that won’t tip them off.”

“I’ll have Happy drive you. There’s a garage entrance. No one will see you coming or leaving.”

“Great so I just have to give up my freedom. That’s even better than I imagined.”

“Y/N, I know this isn’t what you wanted, or even what you want, but I think we can come up with something that works in the long run. Plus I’m having Pepper, you’ll meet her later, take over SI so I won’t have to do as much. I can try to stay in New York as much as possible. Because no matter what happens, you’re my daughter and I want to know you.” You don’t say anything in response. “I hope one day, you feel similarly.” He says softly.

“I doubt it.” You say honestly. 

“Well even if that’s the case, right now we do need to pack up some stuff to take to the tower for now. Want me to hel-” He starts to pick up a sweatshirt from the end of your bed and you snatch it from his hand as you reply.

“I’ve got it.”

“Y/N, we’re here.” Your father’s voice pulls you from your thoughts and you look at the non descript parking garage that is under what you assume is the tower. The man you’ve figured out is Happy, though he’s the exact opposite of Happy, opens your door and you climb out, knowing that Tony will be behind you. Happy goes to grab your bags from the trunk, but you stop him. 

“I’ve got it.”

“It’s part of my job.”

“I don’t have an issue carrying my own stuff like some people.” From the trunk you lift out your purple backpack, the black rolling suitcase, and the canvas bag that’s filled with all your pump supplies, sensors, and insulin. You follow Tony and Happy towards an elevator. 

“JARVIS take us to the main floors.”

“Certainly sir.” You look up expecting to see a face or something but there’s no one there.

“JARVIS is the AI that runs the whole tower. If you need anything JARVIS is the one to ask. If there’s specific food you want or if you need stuff for school or, well, anything really, just ask JARVIS. I’ll get you added to the levels of clearance that allow you to order anything that you want.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Part of you living with me is that I’m going to provide for you. JARVIS is part of providing for you. I’m not the best at remembering to like grocery shop or send the laundry out so JARVIS helps with that.”

“Send the laundry out? Do you not have a washer and dryer in this whole place?” You cock an eyebrow at how spoiled he sounds.

“We do, but there are other things that take time away from me.” You add continue to do my own laundry to the mental list of things that will make you different from your father. Tony notices the disapproval marked in his daughter’s face and hopes that maybe meeting the Avengers will make up for the disappointment he’s been to her so far. The doors open and in the living room Natasha and Clint are sitting watching a movie while Steve sits in a chair reading a book. “Where’s Code Green?”

“In the lab,” Steve comments, not looking up from the page he’s on.

“That’s Capsicle. Legolas is sitting next to Nat. Big Green is down in the lab and Point Break is currently back at home but you’ll meet him eventually, though hopefully not his brother.” At the sound of being introduced the three in the living room look up and see the girl standing next to Tony in surprise.

“Uh, Tony, are we taking pint size Avengers now?” Clint asks.

“I might be small, but I can kick your knees out just as easily.” You pull on the strap of your backpack, not really wanting to be in this room much longer. 

“Ok, before you kick anyone’s knees out. This is not an Avenger recruit. This is Y/N Stark, my daughter.” Ok taking on his last name was something you were going to have to talk to him about because you were perfectly happy being Y/N Y/L/N, not this Y/N Stark bullshit.

“You have a kid?” Steve asks, genuine confusion spread across his face. 

“I do. I didn’t know until yesterday, but I’m doing the right thing.” You can’t stop the snort that escapes you. Tony looks over at you.

“Sorry,” You say although you don’t mean it. “Can I es- go to my room?”

“‘Yes, you can escape to your room. I’ll show you where it is.” 

“I got it boss. I think you have some people that need answers.” Happy offers. You’re silently relieved that Happy offered to show you. If you had to spend another minute with your dad, you might lose your mind. Happy walks you into the kitchen and opens the fridge as you go past it. You look at him, trying to figure out why he’s opening it. “Tony told me you’re diabetic. You have insulin that needs refrigeration right?”

“Oh, yeah I just didn’t know he told you.”

“Head of security. There’s not much he doesn’t tell me.” Happy turns them towards a staircase leading away from where all the Avengers are. “But you know if you need someone to talk to, or grab a cheeseburger with, there’s things he doesn’t have to know about.”

“I don’t eat meat, but I appreciate it, Happy.”

“He’s going to say you’re not his kid if you don’t eat cheeseburgers.” And for the first time since all of this started, you actually let out a laugh.

Tony’s head turns towards the sound of the laugh. It’s unfamiliar, but he wants to hear more of it. He’s missed fourteen years of your life, but he wants to make things better, he does. He’s just not sure how.

“So you found out you have a kid?” Steve asks, his book forgotten now.

“Yeah, yesterday I found out I had a fourteen year old and then it’s been a whole process of finding out that since she’s mine I have custody technically.”

“So you took her away from all she knows?” Natasha's voice comes softly from the couch. 

“I guess you could say that.”

“Did you give her a choice?” Natasha asks, harsher this time. In her eyes anyone could see the remainders of another girl that was taken from all she ever knew and replaced with a hard boiled assassin.

“In the eyes of the state she doesn’t really have a choice.”

“So you didn’t give her a choice.”

“She’s got a medical condition that was costing her family thousands a month on top of her grandparents’ conditions. I’m helping!” Tony’s voice raises for the first time this afternoon since he tried to stay calm around his kid.

“You think you’re helping, but you’re taking her from the only life she’s ever known and I’m betting you gave her no choice in this. All you might get out of this is four years with her and then she disappears from your life.” Clint says softly, not trying to upset Tony, but also hearing the points that Natasha was bringing up. 

“You’re going to have to work hard to make this worth it to Y/N, Tony.” Steve says before picking up his book.

[ziracona]

Hello! I have always believed that Michael needed better doctors and good treatment. He was simply billed as "Evil". Sometimes I think that at that time they were unaware or ignorant of mental illness, and that is why Michael did not recover. I wish it had been treated better. I would like to know your opinion about it ;v;

Oh, absolutely. Michael is a very tragic character, and what happened to him was almost entirely Loomis’ fault, secondarily the system and his parents’, and like onyl 0.8% his own. It’s true that mental health aid has historically been really bad in most places, and even today treatment and acceptance—even in specifically medical settings—tend to be abysmal. Of course people knew less than they do now about how psychological stuff works, but bias, cruelty, and superstition as well as a system that enables and even to degrees outright encourages that is to blame for the awful treatment people woth mental illnesses and personality disorders faced and continue to face, not just a lack of knowledge, and the history is really heavy and awful to look over. : ( It’s horrific some of the things doctors have done and do to people just trying to get help.

Like, in Michael’s case, we’ve had a name and understanding of psychosis since the 1800s. Canonically, by the time the poor kid was six years old, he was hearing voices telling him to do bad things to people. He told his parents, seeking help, and they did nothing to help him—just told him it was his imagination—despite knowing hos grandfather had suffered the same symptoms. If they had only taken him seriously and given him therapy and possibly medication too, Judith never would have died. (I am not goong to say it every time, but all this information is official canon) Michael’s reason for killing his family members is wanting the vocies talking to him to be quiet, because it’s agonizing. If you’ve ever had intrusive thoughts (stuff like “pull into oncoming traffic” or “break that and see what happens” and such that don’t actually compell or force you to do it at all, and are always things you as a person deeply do not want to do, but nevertheless are really annoying or distressing to hear in your head), imagine that cranked up to 1000, endless and constant, but from voices that seem to come from around you instead of in your head. Especially as a young child, with no understanding what is happening to you, this would be incredibly scary and distressing—doubly so when dismissed by your parents, whose sole job is supposed to be to love and protect you.

The voices say they’ll be quiet if Michael kills Judith, so Halloween night, he does. Important to note here Michael is recently six years old at the time, which developmental psych literally is not old enough to have a complete understanding what death itself is, let alone complex morality. You /cannot/ be evil at six, you simply don’t have a complex enough understanding of right and wrong or of consequence to /be/ evil. Also at this age, usually kids see death as a vague concept, but one that applies to people they don’t know only, not to them and their loved ones. In Halloween 1978, immediately after stabbing Judith, Michael looks away while he keeps doing it, and his breathing speeds up in a scared way. He barely looks at the body, and immediately goes down stairs to wait for his parents—probably for them to fix it—and does nothing to flee or hide what he’s done. He looks traumatized when they take his mask off. (Lots of little notes here like that Judith when she sees him seems annoyed but not very, and when he attacks her, tries to shield herself and call to him to stop, rather than fleeing or fighting back, which [appealing instead of fight or flight] is pretty exclusively something you only would use if attcked by someone you are on good terms with—I mean, Michael is six—if Judith had /tried/ to fight back, no way she would have died—so there’s less than nothing to indicate they had anything but a loving familial sibling relationship. But if I list all these I’m gonna launch into my six page Michael Myers meta so I will speed through the rest.)

Anyway! Sorry, I have many feelings. About...everything. Including Michael for sure. So, immediately after killing Judith, Michael stops talking. He also shows other psychosis and trauma readily recognized side effects, like catatonia, slowed movement. In Halloween 1978c Dr. Loomis claims he tried to treat Michael for eight years, then spent another seven trying to keep him locked up because he realized he was evil. This is a /blatant/ lie, as in film canon Loomis, by Michael’s review hearing I believe four months in? Six or less for sure, I believe it is four. Loomis has /already/ become convinced Michael is a demon in human form, faking his symptoms, and itching to kill again. The other doctors think Loomis is crazy, as does the other doctor who examines Michael, but they’re awful people so they let him stay Michael’s doctor anyway, even though they refuse to move him to Litchfield maximum security. By this time only a few months in, Loomis is canonically also threatening the six year old in his care and constantly telling him he is an evil being who wants to get out and terrorize again. (Also, I will die enraged the sentance Michael gets for killing Judith is to remain locked in solitary in a sanitorium for /15/ years, until he turns 21, at which point he will be tried as an adult for murder??? The fuck?? You CANNOT charge a 6 year old’s crime in adult court! ‘Tried as an adult’ is meant for like, when a 17 year old dismembers their family and eats them! It’s for particularly heinous crimes, committed by someone /very/ close to being legally an adult, and that /only/. The idea of waiting fifteen years to try someone as an adult for something done at age six is laughable and sick).

Okay this is already long, I get carried away rip. Uhhh, anyway, yeah. In Smith’s Grove, Michael is visited by mom and Laurie once, then never sees any of his family again, because his dad hates him and forbids the others—finds out because Laurie is four and talks that they went /one/ time, and physically beats four year old Laurie for mentioning his name until she trauma blocks out ever having had a brother. From then on, Michael spends /fifteen/ years and all the dest of his developmental stages of childhood in a sanitorium with Dr. Loomis—a man who on wild religious superstition grounds assumes by his own admission /on sight/ that Michael is evil, and no other human contact. According to canon, Michael spends at least four hours of /every/ day with Loomis, his /only/ human contact, who threatens him, promises to stop him, and endlessly barrages him with “You’re evil, you’re not human, you want to kill again, I /will/ stop you,” and nothing else. He also canonically keeps Michael overdosed on a type of antipsychotic that, while a fine drug if used normally, if overdosed can deeply worsen symptoms, and can cause permanent brain damage.

Honestly, if a six year old is exposed yo major trauma, none of their issues are explained, legitimized, or believed, and almost all of their developmental stage is spent with endless voices they don’t know the cause of suggesting murder and violence, one human being and authority figure telling them over and over and over for fifteen years with no other constant in their life or human contact period that they are a demon in human form who wants to kill and is /going/ to do so again...? How else was that story ever going to end? I’ve said it before, but that’s beyond conditioning; it’s lab growing a human child to one day walk out and murder Laurie Strode with a large kitchen knife.

I stand by Halloween is a greek tragedy more than a slasher, and Michael and Laurie are both victims. He’s the Asterios, she’s the Ariadne. Loomis the Minos, the real villain. (Or the Poseidon choose your poison).

Anyway, I 100% agree! If he had just gotten help from his parents, Judith would have never died. If he’d had good doctors, none of the events of 1978 would have come to pass, or anything after it. Loomis single-handedly causes the deaths in 1978 himself through years of cruelty, and bigoted bias towards a small child in his care who needed his help, not his abuse, but he chose to break as much as he possibly could despite his responsibilities as a doctor, an adult, and a human.

If you’re interested, I did a canon-deep-dive character study short story on Michael on AO3! Halloween is such a sad story but it’s fascinating. God, poor Michael and Laurie deserved so much better than they got. It’s a testament to Michael’s character that even after 15 years of Dr. Loomis, he really only kills his intented target(s) in search of quiet from the voices, and anyone who sees him/would be a threat, and not other people. Makes no attempt to kill any of the kids in Halloween 2018, and only kills Bob when he literally opens the door to his hiding spot and Michael is found and Bob becomes a threat to him. In H20, after Michael has had 20 years on his own, you get arguably the least brutal Michael, who intentionally passes on killing the mother and child, and the security guard he walks right past, because they don’t see him and thus he doesn’t /have/ to. Halloween II is less intentionally avoiding, but even then he still does the same multiple times too, like with the old lady making a sandwich, or the scene in the incubator room. Anyway he desevered better fuck Loomis all my homies hate Loomis.

[minophus]

do you have like. general hcs that you'd like to share maybe

Yessss.

i think he prefers meat in terms of food, likes his shit SEASONED and JUICY (helps to support his bodyaswell outside of taste, he needs a lot to do a lot!). Though i think he looves tearing up a salad too bc the crunch makes him happy. a cool salad feels good to eat when he runs so warm

loves to swim. I know he loves to swim. Puts his hair up and he could chill in a pool for hours. loves sneaking up on minos while hes relaxing after he joined him in his temple pool and pinching his thigh. Physical comedy(slapstick?) is his favorite kind i think. rest in pussy sisyphus you would have loved looney tunes.

I think he enjoys a little two person dance aswell though not to say he doesnt do it on his own. need to research some dances i think hed do but by god. The dancerrrrrrr

He likes to do his subjects hair if he can make the time for it. in any moments to relax he likes to sneak in a braid or fix up this piece or that part bc i imagine itd be the very last piece of self expression theyd have

He verbally rips into the virtues as ooftenn as he can bc they cant do jack shit about it. its not grounds to punish him. So they just have to endure his horrifically effective persuasiveness and judgement and how deep his insults cut

[shadowfae]

Uhhh since you're dealing with people being jackasses: talk about a thing you've been wanting to talk about; or tell a story you've been dying to tell but haven't had a good time to tell it.

Things I want to talk about, hmmmm.

See, the twins’ birthday is on Friday, and it seems I’m writing More Porn. After that is Minos, next Thursday, and that’ll be fun because I know exactly what to write for his birthday, and that’s the fic of how he becomes a Spectre wayyyy back in the Age of Myth. (This is about Saint Seiya, for those of you who don’t follow me on my main.)

King Minos of Crete’s story is a fascinating thing. And the thing about a lot of retellings of Greek myth is that the running theme is almost always “...and the myth got it all wrong because what makes for a good story isn’t what actually happened” and that really got me to wonder how I could spin this guy into a sympathetic villain. Then, of course, I put on Gang of Youth’s Achilles Come Down and that was it, my dude.

So consider this: a young prince and his brother, being prettied up for the throne of Crete where Zeus was born in the most prosperous, if young, kingdom in the Mediterranean, four thousand years ago where this is where most human development is going on right now. That seat of power will move to India next during their Golden Age (as they don’t get their shit wrecked by Santorini and become the Atlantis myth) but for now, it’s in the sea that breathes and is as warm as a bath to dive on into, in the sea where everyone is right now.

A young prince whose brother is pretty and not much else, who knows he has to rule because while his brother is popular, he doesn’t pay attention to his studies and would drive the kingdom immediately into the ground with his enjoyment of finery at the expense of all else. A young prince who knows if he wants his kingdom to survive, knowing full well how many settlements and lives depend on Crete to run supply, that he’s going to have to do some evil and damn himself to save the kingdom. It doesn’t even matter if he wants to be king: it’s just that Rhadamanthys won’t do a good job, and there’s no way he can get him to abdicate, and good sake he doesn’t want to murder his own brother.

But then they get into a catfight over a pretty farmboy that they both like. Rhadamanthys likes Miletos’ smile and the way he talks to plants. Minos likes his wit and how he knows how to keep a farm running and what every problem’s solution is. Rhadamanthys sees a trophy to win, Minos sees an advisor. They both fall in love. Aphrodite from her throne laughs at the thought of two heroes to make a tragedy out of, and lets them start to rip Crete apart.

Minos realizes what’s going on, of course, why wouldn’t he? He wants his kingdom to survive, and this isn’t that. Good sake he doesn’t want to take Miletos prisoner, he knows how the heroes’ stories end and he doesn’t want to be betrayed. So he chases Rhadamanthys out of Crete and stuffs Miletos onto a supply ship heading into Thessaly and bids him that if he likes being alive, he should lay low and stay far from either brother, but gives him a good bag of drachmae and food anyway, and probably a scrap of parchment with an address to a temple of Demeter. Enough that he can save himself if he uses his wits, and Minos knows Miletos has wit.

He becomes king. He saves the kingdom from his brother’s idiocy, knowing Rhadamanthys will never forgive him, knowing that their warring would have destroyed the Mediterranean. This is the cost of what it is to be king of the powerhouse of the cell world. You sacrifice everything you love, everything you are, and you save everyone but yourself.

Kings and heroes have a lot alike, and Minos is a son of Zeus. It doesn’t stop him from being angry with himself. It doesn’t stop the gods from taking an interest in this plucky young man. It doesn’t stop Hera from being angry at Europa all over again. It doesn’t stop Aphrodite from being angry that he denied her the tragedy. He hasn’t proved himself, not to them. So they set him trials. Conquer this kingdom and liberate it from the evil king. Kill that monster and liberate that city from it. Do this, do that, and just when you think you’re done, someone else goes mad and starts killing their own civilians.

Minos doesn’t realize at first that he’s become a terror. That he’s the ghost king already, the one that queens and princes and servants whisper about when their king has so much of a cold. He’ll go mad one day. He’ll go mad and then King Minos of Crete will come by with his armour and his sword, high on his own heroism, walking the road to hell with the very best of intentions.

Minos will care for those kingdoms. He’ll send his advisors and sell them their necessities at half price, help the fledgling kings that rise in the throne still bloody from his conquest until they’re steady under the crown. He makes alliances and plays the game well, but he’s still killing people who never asked to be killed. Still saving people who never wanted to be saved.

He finds a wife in a nymph-goddess and he loves her, he loves her hard, and he’s still scarred from Miletos, he’s afraid to love Pasiphae even though he does with all his heart. She’s powerful, daughter of Helios who blinds him with her sunlight. He kneels before her and tells her that if anyone including himself but save his kingdom tries to take him away from her glory, he will kill them to make her happy.

He doesn’t know he’s already evil. He wants to make his wife happy, wants to not make the mistakes his father did that resulted in his existence. He wants to apologize to Hera for his birth by valuing what she does, and never doing to Pasiphae what his father did to her. He doesn’t know he’s damning himself with every move. But he swears his life to the girl of sunshine and brings her home to celebrate. Crete rejoices, they’ve always had the best of him, they’ve always loved their king who saved them and risks himself to save everyone else. He’s brought home the sun for them, hasn’t he?

They have children, his pride and joy, and he hires the best of tutors for them. He finds a son of Athena who’s known for his brilliance and pays him to teach his son, finds a son of Ares content with his spoils to teach his daughters and his youngest, loves them all and teaches them how to rule when he has to go out and save another city from a mad, dying king. So that when he gets himself killed being stupid, Crete isn’t damned and the world can run without him, because his wife and his children will continue the throne of power. They’ll run the supply lines and find a place for those who need to run, and they’ll save as many people as they can.

Hera likes him well enough for his love, hates him for what he is, hates him more for that he doesn’t understand why the mad king’s wife wants him dead. Aphrodite stings from that he earned Pasiphae’s love with a pledge he didn’t know the consequences of, that he denied her the messy child’s-love of Miletos. Zeus thinks he has farther to go. Poseidon, who Minos doesn’t love as much as his father but whose sea is the very reason he’s as powerful as he is, whose sea he loves more than most but doesn’t remember to thank, shakes the bottom of the Mediterranean in jealousy.

Poseidon makes his displeasure known. Minos appeases him, as best he can, and like every awkward nephew, asks if he needs further repayment or if he has earned his forgiveness. Poseidon smiles, thinks of how Minos does not know how the gods can suffer, and sends him a while bull that shines like the moon.

Minos presents it to his wife, thinks of the white dove that Zeus was for Hera. It’s a long habit he’s fallen into, appeasing Hera at every turn just in case. Amphitrite too, actually, and Artemis for his daughter Ariadne who loves to weave. Pasiphae loves the bull, and shows their children, and Crete understands that the gods love their king as much as they do.

Daedalus, whose son’s education Minos has paid for but who isn’t allowed his freedom to wander - he’s quite useful, and Minos has figured out that people will stay if you give them a reason to, but not that he needs to ask if Daedalus needs anything he might not ask for in supply requests - listens to Athena whispering of kings who didn’t deserve to die and kingdoms robbed of their ability to stand on their own, indebted to no one.

Aphrodite hates the pretty fantasy Minos and Pasiphae have created, hates that they have always gotten along. Hates that they still trust in the vow they made and haven’t had any reason to question. Love is suffering, love is war, and she wants them to prove that they understand her as well as they understand Hera. She goes to Poseidon, shaking with jealousy, and they hatch a plan together.

If he sacrifices the bull, he honours Poseidon. But the dreams of his sleep say that if he does not keep it to show the wealth of his kingdom, he rejects Zeus. There is no way to win. But maybe dreams are just dreams. He breeds the bull several times, to spread the wealth of the blessing to more than just himself, to honour Zeus by keeping what he can. Minos goes to sacrifice it, and finds it missing. He searches with his three eldest children and does not find it until morning, when Daedalus has put Pasiphae back to bed and has burned the contraption he made in a frenzy for his mother’s appreciation. He does not sacrifice it on time, and though he does the moment he finds it and checks that it has not been injured, it isn’t enough.

Three weeks later, they find Pasiphae is pregnant, and although Minos doesn’t quite think the math lines up, sometimes children are weird. Stranger things have happened, and it is a time to rejoice. The pregnancy is difficult, and he spends many days by her side, asking for the best physicians they can find and hopes that they can save her. They make it all the way to the delivery with her still breathing, and when the time comes, the physicians who have helped her through several births know by now to send him to fetch water from the other side of Crete to keep him out from underfoot.

He returns with water he knows they don’t actually need but is willing to fetch for love of Pasiphae, and finds that his wife is dead, and there is a curse within the kingdom that nobody knew about. He thinks of how Poseidon could have swept them all away with a tsunami, and knows that this is his punishment, not Crete’s, and he vows to keep it that way. He thinks another moment, thoughts too quick for anything but grief and shock. He thinks of how Hera might hate him now that he cannot apologize to her. He thinks of how Aphrodite ripped his family apart, and he hasn’t spoken to or seen Rhadamanthys in thirty years. And Minos realizes the question he’s always asked of why kings go mad has an answer, staring him in the face this entire time, and he’s just now seeing it.

It isn’t too late. It can’t be too late. He takes in a breath and asks to see the child. It’s... kind of cute, actually. Half cow, of course, and most certainly a monster, but it’s a baby monster, and when he reaches to hold it like he would any other child of his, it reaches back for him. He half-expected it to bite, and it doesn’t. Really, it’s acting like any other child he’s ever seen.

He swore to Pasiphae he’d keep her safe from everything, and the only thing that would sunder him from her side was his kingdom. She understood his reasons and loved him anyway. A goddess of a woman, and he’d still choose his kingdom over her.

He loved his father, and he loved Rhadamanthys, and he had chosen his kingdom. He loved the gods, as all men did. But he loved his kingdom more. This child is a monster, and monsters need to be killed. Children need to be loved, and killing a child brings down the wrath of every god he knows the name of. He closes his eyes, and opens them again. He loves his kingdom more.

“His name is to be Asterius,” he says, thinking of his mortal stepfather, who loved him more than he loved the gods. “He is a blessing from Poseidon, and though he comes with the death of our queen, we will love him as the prince he is.”

The physicians stare at him as though he is already mad. The glint in his eye probably doesn’t help. They know his words are a lie, and so does he. But sometimes it’s lies that keep a kingdom together. Crete is confused, but rejoices nonetheless, and when Asterius is put to bed, he weeps where his children can see. When he’s done crying for Pasiphae’s loss, he collects himself, and tells his children what he knows, and admits he knows the gods are trying to kill him.

Ariadne puts her hand, calloused from her weaving, on his shoulder, and twisting a spindle of thread in her other hand, swears they’ll always find a way through the machinations of the gods. Minos nods and thanks her, and is comforted by this. The vow has magic to it, not that they realize it, yet. Androgeus twists his sheathed sword and tells him that he’ll go be a hero where he can’t hurt his family, so when the time comes, he will be king and give his father a better way out. Minos looks up at his son, who looks heartbreakingly like Rhadamanthys but with all of Miletos’ wit, and knows that when there is no other option, his son will kill him as a monster, and only his family will know any different, and he will save the kingdom.

Crete has always come first. But his children love him, for they have always seen the best of intentions and only just now do they begin to see the road to hell, and they understand his determination. Blood of a hero’s blood. And by Asterius, too, blood of a monster’s blood.

The kingdom rejoices. Asterius grows in royalty and plenty, knows nothing but kindness as Minos makes it clear anyone who treats him more different than necessary can find another kingdom to serve. He slides down polished palace floors into his stepfather’s arms and Minos laughs. He dares the gods in the silence of his own mind to shatter a bond so gentle and innocent as this.

He does not forget that the gods thrive on challenge, and on bleeding out the innocent. The first assassination attempt happens when Asterius is three. Minos has the man jailed, but released when he doesn’t remember anything and can’t tell him why he wanted the young prince dead so badly. After two more, Minos orders Daedalus to build Asterius a paradise where nobody can find him when he doesn’t want to be found, where he can’t be hurt by the sight of a knife and the fear of his family. Asterius is visited every day by his tutors, escorted by his siblings, and sees the outside world only when Minos is there to ensure his safety. He loves him, and he does not want to see his youngest son hurt.

When Asterius is seven, Androgeus goes to Athens to compete in a tournament. He does not return, murdered by his own fellows in envy for his skill. Minos taught him everything he knows about fighting, and in his rage, he conquers Athens (again) and demands a sacrifice every seven years of fourteen youths and Crete will do with the sacrifices as they will. He returns home to plan the funeral and weep, and Ariadne bars his way to the throne room and starts yelling at him, tears bleeding through her voice.

He realizes what he’s done, and the implications of his words. Now everyone thinks that he’s going to feed Athenians to Asterius, all except for those who are perfectly aware that Asterius is a vegetarian, and can’t really stomach meat anyway. He can’t exactly go back on his word, it shows weakness. Kings pay for their convictions, and Crete comes first.

When he can think straight, after crying some more, they hatch a plan. Really, Ariadne is the genius here. Minos is going to go mad no matter what they do. He will have to die a villain, though she fears that with Androgeus gone, she will have to kill her father in his stead. So she proposes hiding the sacrifices in the labyrinth, so Asterius can have friends for once, and when it is time for Minos to go, they will ‘resurrect’ the sacrifices, and show that Crete once more has the blessing of the gods. Minos starts to laugh, and he laughs until his laughter turns into sobs, and he holds his daughter while his family cries.

This is what it means to be king. Crete will always come first.

They manage fourteen years of sacrifices, twenty-eight friends for Asterius who are all relieved to not be dying, who are glad to know they do get to go home one day, and are perfectly happy to keep up with the con so long as they can have some fineries they’ve never been able to reach. Minos smiles and gets them what they’d like. He can’t give them freedom, but for now, he can give them a home.

Theseus is in the third group of sacrifices, and Minos doesn’t know he’s danger. Ariadne takes a shine to him, gives him her thread that she swore to her father would always find the way through the machinations of the gods. Like every weapon, it has a double edge. By giving it to her love, by letting Aphrodite in, she sacrifices Hera. She goes to her father and asks if there’s not a way they can put on a secret wedding, so that he can still walk her down the aisle, knowing he will not be able to live to see his son-in-law free. He agrees.

They never get that far. Daedalus is bitter from the loss of his son, a messy affair that could have been rectified if he’d only asked for his freedom for a while and had sworn to keep his king’s secrets that still keeps Minos awake, crying from all the mistakes he’s made and the fact that his wife will never be able to soothe him back to sleep, and he offers Theseus a faster deal. The red shine of Ares glitters in the young hero’s eyes. The king of Crete has gone mad, and he delights in drawing out the suffering of Athens. A hero must liberate them from the evil king.

Asterius enjoys swordplay, wants to honour his big brother, is delighted that Theseus can spar with him for a while. Theseus’ blade is much sharper than Asterius has ever remembered a blade being. He dies, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Theseus grabs Ariadne, all but limp from the shock and the horror and the sudden, raw guilt of believing Theseus could love her and yet let him near her baby brother, and he runs. Daedalus opens their way, and knows exactly what he’s doing.

Minos is woken by his eldest, Catreus, who already knows what it is to be king, and he sends his father after not Theseus but Daedalus. The mastermind of the cruelty this day. Catreus orders Theseus found and brought to Crete for the crime of murdering a prince and kidnapping a princess. Minos takes up his blade and he runs after Daedalus.

He finds him not far from Sicily. It’s been months on the road, and he knows when he returns with the man’s head, he will have one night with his family, and Catreus will kill him with a kiss to the forehead and a sleeping poison to ensure it doesn’t hurt. Is it really so bad, then, that he draws it out? He wants justice for his son, he always has, but he also isn’t quite ready to say goodbye to the world, even though he knew it was coming for years. Even though he has made every preparation he can for the ending that’s inevitable. The gods win, but Crete will survive.

He wishes he could stop in Rhadamanthys’ kingdom, apologize to his brother for everything, see him one last time before he lets the gods win. He can’t. Daedalus ensnares King Cocalus’ three daughters, and when he finds him there, he accepts hospitality as one final thank you to the world. The bathwater is scalding. The princesses look at him like the monster he’s become to save them all.

Minos finds himself in the Underworld and he does not weep. Not yet. He’s still on a quest. It’s not over yet. Charon takes him to the judges’ hall, where Hades and Persephone look upon him, fascinated, tie him to a chair with chains, and ask for this story.

He tells them, and it’s not until Pasiphae’s death that he has to stop to take a breath, so the tears can fall. He chokes out the rest of the story, makes it to the end, and it’s beginning to set in that he doesn’t get to see Catreus again. He won’t see Ariadne brought home. He won’t get to tell his children that he loves them, that he’s proud of them.

Persephone fixes him with a stare so much like Pasiphae that he weeps stronger, and then forces himself to stop. When Pasiphae gives him that look, she wants him to listen, and when Persephone does it, it seems habits die long after he does. She asks him what he considers his single greatest mistake.

He’s blindsided by the question, but thinks. Starts to answer treating Athens with cruelty, pauses. He wants to make sure he gets this right. Takes a breath, and with more conviction, says that he didn’t treat Rhadamanthys and Poseidon with the same love he treated Zeus and Hera to. Persephone nods, expression stoic, and asks what his greatest achievement is.

He thinks of his love for his wife, and his kingdom. He admits that he wants to say it’s saving Crete, but it came with so much suffering that he isn’t sure it counts. And then he says that his greatest achievement is Asterius, who had everything stacked against him, but Minos loved him, and by the time of his death had never become a monster because Minos had saved him, and the only suffering there was that he would be missed and mourned by all of Crete.

Persephone smiles, just a little. She asks him one last question. If she could snap her fingers and he woke up just outside of Sicily in an inn with Daedalus dead and himself alive, would he ask her to? Would he go back?

He doesn’t need to think. Of course he would. He wants to see his remaining children. He wants to tell them that he loves them. He wants to give them a better ending to this chapter of their lives, even though he knows they’ll have to kill him for his crimes. It won’t do anything for him, not really. Not even for Crete. But he wants to save them, one last time.

She glances at Hades, who smiles for the first time since the trial began. He says that while he cannot give Minos what he deserves, not with his contemporaries so angry with him, he can offer him a choice so very few humans ever achieve. He can send him to another Underworld, held by different gods, and offer him paradise somewhere else. He will never see his family again, not even in death, but he will have a chance to rest, and celebrate, and be happy. Or, he can stay here. He can serve two gods who will never toy with his heart, so completely under their claim that no other god would dare reach for him again, wait for his family, and help them build a kingdom here.

Minos blinks. He isn’t going to be king, not here, not with Hades right there. But it’s a chance to start over, build a place of pride, and when his family returns to him, he can give them all they deserve.

He agrees enthusiastically. He would love to help. He likes building, loves seeing Crete in full festival and laughing. And it means he gets to see his family again.

A fish-god in a wheelchair and a tail for legs wheels themself forward with a metal griffon at their side, and says that the griffon will train him. This looks already better than anything Daedalus came up with, and he’s intrigued. He reaches out to the griffon to shake their paw, only to find that they are now armour, wrapped around him, wings and tassets and gauntlets and all. The Griffon Surplice laughs a little in his ear, their head his helmet and two minds right beside each other, and he smiles.

Hades welcomes his new Spectre, Griffon Minos, and Minos finds himself immediately slammed into by something twice his size. When he gets over his shock, he realizes he’s looking at Asterius, clad in green armour not all that different from his own, and he shines.

Asterius whoops that he knew Minos would stay, that he loves him, and that he thinks Minos has always been the best to him, and that while Pasiphae isn’t here, Androgeus is, and so is Rhadamanthys. Minos starts to cry again, but these are good tears.

He’s finally home.

[pcygoldenchild]

The Traveler

🥀summary: Running away was useless in your world, but that didn’t stop you from trying. But Baekhyun was skilled in finding anything. Especially if it was you. Especially if it was a chase. Traveling was his hunting sport.

🥀genre: slight smut&angst//mafia au!//adult themes//sexual content. maybe a part 2

Pride was a blessing and a curse. Turmoil and suffering with a little mix of pride made you the person you were today. The person who ran away no matter what. The person who would hide from trouble instead of face it straight on. There was never a problem that you have encountered that you faced. It wasn’t like you. It scared you to confront something. But that’s because the things you would have to confront, were things that could kill you. Death would look you right in the eyes if you had yours open. You witnessed your brother die right in your arms when you were only 5. You heard your mothers screams as you hid under the bed in a raid of your house. Your father, the only one left of you, was the one who told you it’s ok to run. But you can’t run your whole life.

But that’s all you’ve done. You had to run. You were wanted. You were being hunted. You were the prey. You were a killer.

You killed once. You killed once and it was the end of your life. Your own life was on the brink of falling off a cliff and you had to do what you didn’t think you would. With a gun to your chest you couldn’t think straight. The only reaction was shoot. The gun in your hand firing a single bullet through his head. Through Mino’s head. And he was dead. And so were you.

Ever since then, you had a silver bullet with your name on it. And your father had a pretty bronze one just like yours. But it was not your fault. You were kidnapped, abused, used for ransom and information. You had no choice and everyone knows that. But a murder, is a murder. And you had to leave.

You left without anyone knowing. You couldn’t tell your father, he’d be killed for information if not for being your father. So you told no one and left in plain sight. It would be less conspicuous if you did. You left while the house was busy; Chanyeol, Jongin Baekhyun, Junmyeon and your father all doing work to ensure your safety. The safety of a lost soul now leaving right under their noses. They said their goodbyes thinking you were only going to your daily shops. They made sure your driver took you everywhere and followed you in and brought you out. But you knew ways around that. Eyes weren’t always on you. There were blind spots.

You went to the coffee place you always went to and got you and your driver a coffee. You added a little something to his, just to help you get away from him. You made a few stops around, grabbed a few things you would need for your escape. Only two hours later, you noticed your driver become sloppy. This was your time to leave and you took it. You left the shop with him waiting by the dressing room and called a cab to the outskirts of the city.

You had to go somewhere no one would figure you’d go. You had a condo in the city but that’s exactly where they’d look. But they wouldn’t look in the woods. Your mother had a little cabin, not very little but it was homey. Only you two would go there while the boys were hunting or working. You figured you’d stay there for a few days until everyone cooled off.

You settled in and made sure to lock all the windows and doors. You turned off your location to all of your contacts. You only used lights of rooms you were in. You stayed off your phone and limited social interaction if you had to leave. But even then, it only took 3 hours before someone contacted you. Baekhyun.

↳ B. : i’m looking for a little princess who seems to have lost her way home

↳ B. : she’s cute and funny. brown long hair and deep beautiful eyes. a really pretty smile that makes your heart flutter and a clearly useless brain if she thought she could run away

↳ B. : so where is my princess? do you happen to know?

You had to answer. He was the last person you could stay away from. He was the last person to let you stay away from him.

↳ you: yes.

↳ B. : hey princess

↳ B. : mind telling me where you slipped off to? you’d make me a really happy man

↳ you: no.

↳ B. : no? is that your final answer princess?

↳ you: B don’t do this.

↳ B. : you give me no choice

And that scared you. You and Baek have a history no one knew about. Other than the obvious that you two were close. He was the one who found you after your brother and mother were killed. He was the one always finding you when you wanted to be lost. It was his title now. He was your hunter but he looked at it as your savior. And you knew there was nowhere you could go that he wouldn’t find you. But you didn’t mind it. You didn’t mind if he found you. You didn’t want to be found by anyone but him.

↳ B. : tell me one thing? how do you think I feel when you run away?

↳ you: I’m not running away from you B

↳ B. : it doesn’t matter who you’re running from. you leave the only place that’s safe for you.

↳ you: I don’t want to have any of you hurt

↳ B. : it hurts me more that you leave my side

↳ B. : it hurts me more that you think anywhere you go, I won’t follow until you can’t run anywhere else.

↳ B. : it hurts me more that when I look for pictures of you in my phone, you’re happy in my arms or my bed. and the next time I could see you, you could be dead because you don’t know how to stay put.

He was doing what he always did. Made you feel guilty for leaving him. But he knew you didn’t leave because of him. It was for your own good. But he would say it was being selfish. It’s selfish to make him have to look for you whenever you wanted to be dangerous. But it was all you could do to keep them safe. But he would always say,

↳ B. : I don’t need your protection princess. I need you here with me to protect you. To love you the way you know I can.

It rips you apart. It breaks you down. He was good at breaking your wall enough to see through the crack. That’s how he always found you. But not this time. You couldn’t let him in.

↳ you: B let me do this. I’m ok and safe.

↳ B. : it’s not up to you anymore.

And that was game. He wouldn’t listen to you. He wouldn’t stop until his hands were somewhere on you.

The first 5 hours were the quietest. You needed to leave to keep him off your trail. You jumped state lines and stayed in one of your families camp houses. Staying in the woods was the best option. He’d never looked or found you there. You’d ran away enough to know his first places and last places he’d look for you. He didn’t say anything until it was well into the midnight.

↳ B. : on the move princess?

↳ you: B stop.

↳ B. : why would I?

He was getting into it now. If there was one thing he enjoyed, it was hunting. Hunting down his enemies, your enemies, your families enemies. But you, looking for you was his favorite sport. Because everytime he did, he was rewarded with your weakened heart craving nothing but his touch. He thought, at one point, that you would do this for the sake of getting him to find you. But he learned that you were just too scared to stay put.

Every hour he’d send you his location for the first 4 hours he was in the city. Then every 30 minutes he’d send you pictures of yourself and him. Some cute and innocent. His tactic to make you miss him but you were already missing him. You always did.

Then the pictures and messages got to be deeper. There were pictures of you in nothing. Pictures of you on top of him. Pictures of you that you sent to him. He was doing something you didn’t get to see before. He would have found you by now. This must have been a new stage. And it was breaking you down.

↳ B. : I miss my princess...

↳ B. : tell me where I can find her so I can do whatever she wants. anything my princess wants.

He was teasing you. He knew your weakness. You wanted to be his. But there was a father who wouldn’t let that happen at home. But here, in the woods, he could have you and make you his; as loud as he wanted to. But you couldn’t do it.

↳ you: B please.

↳ B. : I love it when you beg for me. Nothing makes me harder than your voice. Let me hear you.

You wanted to do nothing but let him hear you. You wanted nothing but to hear him. He was so devine when he wanted you. His voice deeper and huskier. You almost called him. Almost fell for his trap. But you knew he could track your call faster than anyone else.

↳ you: B just stop. It’s not working. Just go home.

↳ B. : I’m not going anywhere without you princess. You just wait until I get to you.

And you did. You wanted him to reach you. But you wouldn’t go home even if he did. You weren’t going back. But it was now the next morning and you needed to move.

You flew three states over. To the place that always rains. It was your favorite. Maybe it was a bad idea to hide in plain sight. The place where you would go to in a heart beat but then again it was so obvious that no one would look. So you thought.

↳ B. : good morning princess ;)

↳ B. : had a dream about you in my empty bed. wanna know what it was about?

↳ B. : i’ll tell you anyway. I tied you all up and told you never to leave me again. I did whatever I wanted to you. You liked it like you always do. You always have liked the way I fucked you don’t you? What is it? Is it the way I touch you? Is it the way I talk to you? Tell me while I’m still in bed so I can come and find you faster.

It was driving you crazy. He was good with his words. He was good with his hands and everything. He was good. Perfect. That’s what it was. But you wanted to tease him how he was teasing you. You figured he didn’t find you yet because he liked this game. He’d found you way faster any other time. And now you just wanted to be found. So much you wanted to go to him.

You didn’t reply with words. You sent a picture. One of you in nothing sitting in the bed. Sitting on your knees with your legs open and chest perky and bare.

↳ B. : dangerous to tease me like this

He replied with his own attachment. A photo of his chiseled body in silk sheets with his manhood in his hand. It burned your core.

↳ B. : but you are a lot closer to me than you think princess ;) see you soon

How? How were you so dumb? The picture you sent showed your window. The grey skies and trees. But there was one thing that gave it all away. The clock on the wall. You could barely see it but he knew it better than anyone because he made it for you. He knew where you were. Exactly where you were. And he’d be there before you could get far. So you stayed.

Only 30 minutes later a knock on your door, soft and small, made your heart stop. You knew it was him. You put on a robe and walked to the door shaking. You weren’t scared but you knew what he would do once his hands were finally on you. You opened the door to see him standing tall and triumphant. His princess in front of him. His chase finally over.

“Hello Princess.” he said.

[masked-disciple]

19 through 25? :0

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

Hmmmm.... Honestly, not that I can think of? I mean characters in my head sometimes walk up and inform me they’ve committed incest again, but that doesn’t usually make it to AO3. (Shoutout to Rhada for informing me of a whole lot of shit he did with Sisyphus, who is related to him in Mirrorverse on a fucking technicality, jfc. But also Rhada’s been committing incest by way of sleeping with Gordon, aka Minos’ son, since the bronze age so.) 

I mean, I probably overuse Toby quotes, but tbh I actually can’t think of something I overuse too much. Huh.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

I’ve already done this a lot (I’m actually answering this last because I’m trying to think of my favourite here), and. Hmmm. Honestly, I’m gonna go with IKM Minos, because while I have rambled about him before, only in DMs, and I haven’t talked about IKM much yet.

The thing is, I know as much about him as y’all who follow the series do. He’s very quiet in my headspace, and only ever comes out when I sit down and write him. But he’s four things. Four things, completely at odds with each other, and yet completely in harmony. He’s a griffon, he’s a Spectre, he’s noble, he’s feral. And everything he is can be summed up in those four traits.

He’s a griffon, to start. Half cat, half bird. All the casual arrogance of cats, all the flock behaviour of a bird, all the loyalty, all the insistence to guard. That’s what griffons do. They guard. And that’s his fundamental beginning: he’s a griffon, once you strip everything else away from him.

On top of that, he’s a Spectre. He’s casually cruel and vicious, very traumatized (how, I don’t know, he won’t tell me), he’s a strategist, he prioritizes his own survival but looks out for the others in his division, and he’s very very choosy about who he trusts to not hurt him, who he trusts he won’t hurt on purpose.

Then, his demon star, Nobility. This comes from the Age of Myth. He’s at ease with humans, can interact well with them, can slip around their social etiquette with grace, despite being nothing like them. He’s a little bit chivalrous, has honour enough, tries not to get too messy, actually does have a moral compass of sorts.

Lastly, he’s feral. Wild. Untethered and unforgiving and free. This is the opposite of his demon star, yes. But it is what he is, and he has no issues stripping free of his fancy clothes and running naked through the mud with nothing but fur to cover him and howling at the moon as he rips through prey with his teeth. 

Seems contrary, and indeed, he’s a very contrary person. The real joy in how those go together.

A griffon Spectre means he’ll guard his division. He doesn’t need to love them to have no option but to guard and protect them. He’s the leader of the flock, and he’ll do what needs doing. He’s cruel, he’s responsible, and he does what he needs to. This ties in well with Nobility, his star, because he has enough of a moral compass to know when he has to sacrifice someone, and how to feel bad about it, while his Spectreness allows him to not feel as bad about it as he could.

Naturally, most of the time, he’s noble, a bit fussy and imperious, likes his poetry as a way of speaking. But the more he’s hurt, the angrier he is, the more upset he is, that stripes away into his feral nature. His nobility is a mask and a shield for his true nature: simply a wild griffon, untethered by any rules and unforgiving to any that meet him. I’ll explore this part a bit further later on as this is the part of him that Alba really falls in love with, but this is where his personality begins to really shine. That duality between his noble, imperious nature and his honest, wild self.

He’s a hard as fuck character to write. But oh, I love the results. 

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

As answered previously, I Have No Fucking Idea But Probably Anime.

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

As also answered previously, yes, because I have no other choice if I want to see my damn rarepairs most of the time, and I enjoy doing so because I like most of my fics. 

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

I answered last time as Rose’s story, but I checked my spreadsheet for what I’d forgotten and gold star me, I forgot about one I really do want to talk about: the TLC version of Seanan McGuire’s Every Heart a Doorway as a long fic! Harry Potter AUs are out. Wayward Children AUs are in as fuck.

What I know is that Aiolos and Aiolia run a school like Eleanor does. It may be located not far from Sagiverse’s Saint Shion’s University, probably Academia Terrestria. Most of the cast is TLC, Golds and Spectres mostly. It follows the adventures of one young Sasha, kicked out of her world by Hades himself after going mostly all the way through the plot of TLC itself, as she deals with coming back without her brother - a possibility she’d already made peace with - but with him still in Sanctum Greece, out and committing mass murder - the part she isn’t cool with.

She walks in during the first few chapters to meet Aiolia just as Minos - from a high Nonsense, high Wicked world where everything is the theatre and the rules make you think it’s Logic and it’s not - bolts across the room, swings a grappling hook around the chandelier, and scales the wall in the nick of time before Pandora throws her trident at him. They’re roommates. Pandora’s from Prism, Kade’s world, as the Goblin Princess so she is understandably wanting Minos dead here.

Sasha blinks, immediately goes on the defensive because hello, two Spectres, but neither know who the hell she is. Lia takes her with him as he negotiates getting Minos into the tower room with Albafica, from the Moors where he and his dad fend off vampires with a strain of woody rose poison they put into their blood, and then puts Sasha in with Pandora, who helps her figure out that just because she knows all of these faces and names doesn’t make them the same people. (This is after watching her freak out over Minos and Alba sharing a room, because she watched them kill each other.)

And then like two weeks later Alone shows up, immediately throws himself at the Dragon Prince Rhadamanthys, who is sixteen and doesn’t know how to handle a small child without a tail and shares the attic with Aiacos, who lived in a world of fire and brimstone and light and wind, moderate Virtue, moderate Logic. Sasha freaks out, Pandora sits on her, and it is discovered not that long later that Alone brought Hades with him.

I have no idea what the plot is past that point. I figure I’ll be asking Zander or another system how I should best write Alone and Hades, which is a standard possession that I want to be thinly-veiled multiplicity, because really those two things are the damn same from where I’m standing and that would be cool.

I’ll write it when I’ve got a plot. Gah.

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Oh abso-goddamn-lutely. I finally figured out how to show and not tell so much, and how to vaguely fix my biggest problem that I had forever: expanding individual threads so I didn’t rush everything. Now that I’ve figured out how to do that, I’m pretty sure I could redline for another writer struggling with the same thing. One of the bits of advice someone said that really fixed my writing was the idea of one, ‘always name at least two sensory details in every paragraph’, and two, ‘for the next six months never write ‘they saw that’ ‘they felt like’ ‘they wanted to’ etc etc, and find a way to say that without saying that, take no shortcuts and never say it outright’. Once you understand why they’re telling you to do that, you can go do it again and avoid the purple prose, but it teaches you how to expand things.

Instead of just going ‘he was sad’, if you can’t say that, then what ends up happening is that you quietly restate he was sad by referencing it in his every action. Body language. Tone of voice. Show don’t tell is advice that works great with examples. Take out every ‘they were’ ‘they saw’ ‘they felt’ and you have no choice but to show it without telling it. And it makes your writing so much stronger.

Another thing I learned was that a Mary Sue isn’t a level one character, they’re a level twenty in a level-three-recommended story. Their backstory is their plotline. This one I learned from Betsy Lee, with No Evil versus Brother Swan- specifically, Ozma Angeline. Look at her child form. Now look at her adult. Her adult is the perfect idea of an edgy Mary Sue. But it’s clear the moment you see her child form, that her every adornment was gained after she first appeared. She wasn’t born that way. Every mark she has is a part of her story. I first met Angel in NE, and I got to know her. Then I saw her in BS and I was like “is that fucking Angel???” and suddenly everything made sense. That’s a well-written character. Sure, we see fuckall of her arc, but that’s when I finally understood how to write a powerful character without making them a Mary Sue. Because nothing stands in the way of a Mary Sue, they never struggle. You set the Mary Sue as their endgame, twenty years after the series ends, and you’re golden.

The last thing I really learned that helped me so much owes itself to Seanan McGuire, of course the Toby books. Specifically: Luna Torquill. This is where I learned that allies become enemies offscreen if they want to, and how to give your side characters a true arc without ever giving them the spotlight. Toby characters don’t feel like they’re just waiting for Toby herself to check in with them. They go do their own stuff when she’s not there, and actively get more development offscreen without ever feeling out of character. Luna is the most obvious example, but Sylvester, Antigone, Tybalt, and Cass all do it too. Actually, the only one who didn’t was Connor and he died and I didn’t like him anyway. Luna really showed me how to bring my side characters to life, and in that understanding helped me really get how to write a character arc.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Sneaking in metaphors and foreshadowing and recurring motifs and parallels, and doing so accidentally because I’m just that good. /lh No really, I love having parallels and shit in my writing that make me look smarter than I am, because most all of them are accidental and I only notice after someone points it out. I look like a genius. I’m bullshitting it the entire way. But when I do actively do it, and it works out, I like it even more. I love hiding little things that reinforce the storyline and atmosphere and add a deeper meaning to my work.

Like, for example. In Aeternum, specifically As We Watch The Hourglass, Tsuko pointed out that the state of the boiler room perfectly represents Minos’ mental state. She’s fine, she’s fixing things, and then outside circumstances causes her to fall apart and Alba just attempts to patch it up enough that it’s vaguely safe enough to work with, but still very very fragile and prone to collapsing at any second. Add in that she’s an engineer and this is her specialty and biggest talent, and it seems like a super cool parallel to do, especially since I really like reflecting my characters in the world around them.

It was completely accidental. I wanted to show that her sadism that canon Minos has is in there, that she isn’t totally OOC and just hasn’t yet become more like her canon form (he’s more traumatized and has gone down a path she’s only inching onto at the moment), but I also wanted them to get a damn bath so Alba could bitch about his hair, while showing that Minos is actually surprisingly useful. In order to do that, I needed the boiler room, I needed to show her fragility, and then I needed to show what was underneath that. And then I needed the threat gone so they could do other shit. In order to make that realistic, I forced her to not panic about it even though she really wanted to, and Alba did a shoddy job because we gave him like an hour and he’s running on little food and less sleep. That was it, that was my entire thought process. And on the page, there’s symbolism that makes me look smart.

When I go to rewrite Aeternum, I’ll be showing more of their early relationship, so she actually is useless onscreen for a bit, so the scene has more oomph when surprise, she has talents after all. (Later those talents will prove very important, but I haven’t written that part yet and won’t for a while.)

So yeah. Accidental symbolism. I love doing that shit. 

[severetimetravelnerd]

I Don’t Know (ft. G Dragon and MINO) (3)

Part 3

While you and Minho talk about your past, Jiyong is forced to do a little introspection.

This series will be updated once a week, every Friday! No specific time though lol. It’s an AU where Jiyong has a younger sister and you’re her best friend! Featuring my OC Mirae as the Best friend. Just saying, it’s not related to any of the scenarios I’ve written so far. Please do leave me some comments or asks! I love receiving them! It’s also a bit of a love triangle situation, so yeah :)) There will be eventual smut in this series.

(I don’t own any of the images used. All credit goes to the original owners.)

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

Taglist:

@kwonnansi​

@unabashedturkeytreeslime​

@happiestgirlontheeastcoast​

@yee-hawwwwwwww​

@slayergroupie0128​

Please comment if you’d like to be added to the tag list:))

Word Count: 2260

WARNINGS: Some smut, some panic.

——————————————-

5 years ago

You were lost. And you were starting to panic. You and Mirae went to the park, not knowing that they were having some mega event that day, and now you were lost, separated from her. You were starting to feel panicky. There were too many people around you. You felt suffocated in that crowd. The noise was all starting to become one big blur. And your head was starting to spin. You were scared. That’s when you saw him. Jiyong. He was also there. He was there with a bunch of his friends. He was a little far away from you but he would help. You knew he would. So, you called him. You yelled his name, loud and clear, but in the noise of the crowd, it became far softer. But he heard you. And he turned around and saw you. And you knew he could see you yelling for his help, but he just wrapped his arm around the girl closest to him, turned around and walked away. That was the day you developed a fear of crowds. Later, you would lie to yourself and say he didn’t know it was you, but you knew he did.

 4 years ago

Jiyong walked into the bathroom at the lounge he was at, just to wash his hands. There was a man there inside, on the phone with someone. Jiyong quietly washed his hands while the man let out an obnoxious laugh.

“I’ll win the bet for sure. It won’t even take me three months to get into her pants.”

Jiyong stiffened, shooting the man a glare. How horrible.

“In fact, I’m sure it’ll be done in two weeks. Maybe even our next date.”

Jiyong grew even angrier.

“Her name? Oh, her name is Y/N L/N.”

Jiyong froze and suddenly, the air in that bathroom was terrifyingly cold and stifling. Jiyong straightened up and walked over to that pathetic excuse of a human being there, staring at him with ice cold eyes. The man began to stammer, wondering what was wrong. Before the guy could cut the call and put his phone away, all in the blink of an eye, Jiyong grabbed him by the collar, and slammed him against the sink counter, face down. Leaning close to him, Jiyong growled,

“You have one day to break up with her before I tell her myself and make you regret this bet.”

 ***

Minho’s tears slowly began to lessen and he just held on to you, enjoying the warmth and comfort of the moment. Playing with his hair, you leaned down to kiss his forehead. Sounding less upset, Minho asked again.

“Y/N, is there something about you and Jiyong hyung I don’t know about?”

You took a deep breath and braced yourself. This was not going to be easy.

“Yeah Minho, there is. Mirae and I have been friends for around fourteen years now. I liked Jiyong for seven of them. He was always horrible to me, so I don’t know why I liked him, but I did. And three years ago, I told him. And he rejected me. Terribly. And after that, I got out of his life and I removed him from mine. I needed to heal. I saw him for the first time after that tonight, which is what would have sparked his outburst.”

In a small voice, Minho asked,

“What about me?”

You felt your heart twist, hating that poor Minho, your ball of sunshine, had been so hurt. You climbed onto his lap, hugging him as you replied,

“Minho, you are what brought me out of my slump. You are the first man I’ve liked ever since. You are the man who made me forget Jiyong. Minho, Jiyong means nothing to me. I like you. And if you hadn’t asked me out, I would have asked you out.”

“You really like me for me? You’re not just using me to get over Jiyong hyung?”

“Oh sweetheart no. I genuinely like you. I care about you so much. I would not use you to get over Jiyong. The only reason I waited for this long to go out with you is because I wanted to be sure I wasn’t using you.”

He stared at you for a second before kissing you and pulling you closer.

“Okay, I trust you.”

Both of you smiled at each other, letting the tension dissipate. Your eyes lit up as you remembered his present.

“Minho, do you want to see your present now?”

“You got me a present? I thought the brownies were it.”

You deadpanned.

“Minho, I specifically said that they’re not.”

He smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry. I was too nervous to pay attention to what you were saying.”

You grabbed his hand and pulled him towards his room, where you had left your bag.

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

Your heart melted when you saw his eyes light up from excitement as he did what you said. You slowly took out the paints from your bag and put the cloth wrapped package in his hand.

“You remember those French paints you were talking about? Well, here you go.”

Minho’s eyes widened as he stared up at you.

“Y/N, you have to be there in person to get these custom-made. How did you manage to get these here?”

You shrugged with a wide grin on your face.

“Mirae got back from France yesterday.”

“Y/N, this is crazy. This is incredible. I can’t-”

You interrupted him, your hands lightly trailing over his chest.

“Well, actually. I had one more thing in mind. But that’s only if you’re up for it.”

“What is it?”

“Let me show you.”

And you began by taking off his leather jacket, stripping until you were standing before him in your lingerie.

“Let me make you feel good tonight.”

You dropped down to your knees, hands reaching for his belt buckle, pausing to look at him for a minute.

“May I Minho?”

Minho gulped and nodded, his hand gently reaching down to hold your hair.

 Jiyong was at home, thinking about what happened at the party. He hated it. He hated you. And he hated that you were with Mino. He had no good reason to hate it, but he did. Mino was a good guy. You were a good person. If you were together, he should have been happy for you. Why then, did he feel the overwhelming urge to rip Mino’s arms off whenever he saw it wrapped around you? He tried calling you again, only for you to not answer. He was about to send you an angry text message asking why you weren’t taking any of his calls when he realised it. He didn’t have your number. He was nobody to you. He wasn’t a part of your life anymore. He knew nothing about your life. And you had cut him out of it. You had made that choice. And he hated it. His mind went back to a conversation he had with Mirae a few days after you confessed to him.

Jiyong was trying to seem casual about it, but he was looking for you. You would always come home for Friday movie nights. He was certain you’d come again. At least, he was trying to convince himself of that. He took a sip of his beer, trying to sound unconcerned when he asked,

“Y/N’s late again?”

Mirae didn’t even look up from her book when she replied.

“No, she’s not coming. Your brutal rejection hurt her feelings.”

Jiyong choked on his beer.

“She told you?”

“No, but I always knew. She won’t tell me either. She won’t want to make me take sides between you and her. For the record, I’d go with her.”

“I didn’t do anything, okay? I didn’t lead her on. She’s reading too much into what I said.”

“You don’t know yet, do you?”

“What?”

“You like her. You like her more than she likes you. That’s why you’ve always been so damn mean to her.”

Jiyong stared at Mirae for a minute before bursting out into laughter, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. She’s like another you to me.”

“That’s not true. That’s what you told yourself when you started liking her and realised she didn’t like you back. You never stopped liking her, but you did manage to convince yourself that you dislike her. And that’s why you’re always so mean to her; because talking to her reminds you of the loopholes in your plan.”

He laughed, but Mirae continued.

“I know I’m right, but she deserves better than you. You’ve treated her so horribly. You’ve been nothing but mean to her. You rejected her brutally. You’ve pushed her too far. She’s done. She’s not going to come back here. She’s never going to want to see you again. She will remove you from her life.”

Jiyong growled when the realisation that Mirae was right hit him. She wasn’t right about everything, because he definitely didn’t like you, but he didn’t think you’d cut him out of your life like she said you would. His head was hurting from thinking about this too much. He wanted release. And so, he did what he always did whenever he wanted to forget. He went clubbing.

Two hours later, Jiyong was drunk out of his mind in a private booth at a club. He had run into a bunch of acquaintances at the club and they invited a few girls to join them. One of them had made it clear that she was interested in him. Since he did not want to admit that he was still thinking about you, he played along. And so, when she gently trailed her fingers over his thigh, winked at him and walked away, he mindlessly followed her. Next thing he knew, he was making out with her against a wall in the back of the club. She had her arms wrapped his neck and he had one hand around her waist and the other up her shirt. And in all his drunkenness and anger, things started to blur. In his more vulnerable drunken state, he let his true desires come forward. Which is why as she reached for his belt, he let out a moan.

“Y/N.”

 Later that night, you and Minho lay in bed, limbs tangled. Minho was half asleep, but he still held you close, snuggling closer to you. You pulled him a little closer, covering him up with a blanket because you could see he was cold. You couldn’t sleep. You smiled as you played with Minho’s hair, thanking the world that he existed. He was the only reason you were over Jiyong. Your heart ached for Minho when you thought about his ex. You couldn’t understand why she would do that to him. You held him a little tighter, not wanting him to get hurt again. You leaned over to switch off the lights, and snuggling closer to him, you fell asleep.

That night, the first person to wake up from a nightmare was Minho. The two of you were at a party, but he had lost you. He was worried about you, so he started looking for you. He checked everywhere, but he couldn’t find you. The only room he hadn’t checked was the bedroom upstairs, which was occupied. Oh. It was occupied. With a sinking feeling in his heart, he went back to the room and opened the door. His heart broke. He saw Jiyong, with his head between your thighs, and you, with your hands gripping his head, moaning his name at the top of your voice. Jiyong pulled up for air and looked back. Seeing Mino, he winked and kissed you. And that was when Minho woke up. He stared at you, curled up against his side and he wrapped his arms around you tighter, trying to go back to sleep. He was terrified he would lose you. He just hoped that his fear wouldn’t affect your relationship.

A few hours later, you woke up too, eyes wide, mind barely able to comprehend what you just dreamt. You were in Jiyong’s apartment, watching a movie with him. From the way he had his arm around your shoulder and from the way you were resting your head against his, it was safe to assume you were dating him. Clearly, the movie was not interesting enough for him because soon after, he slowly started to trace circles on your thigh. You ignored him, but his hand kept moving higher and higher. You swatted it away, but within minutes his hand was back and this time, his lips latched onto the spot above your collarbones. Although he started off with gentle kisses, he soon started sucking harshly, a smirk on his face, because he knew you’d have to use concealer to cover that up for work the next day. You tried not to give in, but when he started sucking, you couldn’t help it and you moaned. With that, his smirk got deeper and he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing you, moved towards the bedroom. You woke up when the door slammed behind him, flushed. Suddenly, the room felt much too hot. You looked at Minho, his cheeks squished, fast asleep, and you felt your stomach twist in guilt. You hated that you had that dream. God, it was such a horrible nightmare.

Or was it?

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