#rip sergei tho

[theravenloftwanderers]

Keeping up with the Von Zarovich's

[sondheim-girly]

Melvin and Sergei headcanons for @this-hopeless-war and @walmartbrandwhatever

-so as we know Melvin is Trips little (step) brother

-Melvin spent a lot of his childhood trying to hang around trip and be like trip

-trip just thought he was annoying

-this all leads to Melvin always trying to act super cool, and older than he is

-most guys his age just think he’s really weird tbh

-but then in middle school Sergei moves to Tulsa from Ukraine

-he doesn’t know much English so Melvin kinda takes Sergei under his wing

-Sergei is Melvin’s first real friend 😭😭

-Sergei doesn’t know what’s happening half the time tbh

-however he does think that Melvin is super cool and smart and nice

-mostly because Sergei has no thoughts in his head (confirmed by Sarahgrace)

-Melvin also flirts with girls 24/7

-rip Melvin u would have loved saying “where’s my hug at” 😔

-modern au Melvin makes an absurd amount of thirst traps it’s disgusting

-them showing up to the rumble is so funny to me cuz at the time they’re both 14, a lot younger than everyone else there other than ponyboy

-basically Melvin hears that there’s a rumble from trip and tells Sergei who’s like “idk what that is!”

-but Melvin is like “idc we have to go” cuz he wants to seem tough and cool

-so they show up and trip is like “the hell you doing here? 🤨” but they won’t leave so he’s like “ok whatever”

-Steve and Sergei fighting in the rumble is hilarious cuz Steve you could fight anyone and you go for the kid??

-but also everyone else fighting has beef so ig he had no one left to fight but Sergei

-we all know that Melvin has a huge crush on ace so of course that’s why they fight 🙄

-Melvin wore his favorite khakis to the rumble thinking “oh yeah ace is gonna think I look so hot in these 🥵” he’s so dumb I can’t-

-melvin and Sergei are such parters in crime tho- like they are each others best friend in everything they do and they will support each other no matter what (even if they, especially Melvin, will never really admit it)

-Sergei gives Melvin a hug one time and Melvin’s all like “what is this platonic affection… I love it….”

-he definitely opens up to Sergei about shit but he tries to play it super cool

-it’s giving that scene in grotpl when the t-birds are talking about their emotions and crying but pretending it’s just allergies or something

-like that’s sooo Melvin coded

-also Sergei definitely tries to emulate Melvin a lot of the time cuz he thinks he’s cool

-Melvin also lies about his height all the time

-he’s like “yeah man I’m 6’4” when in reality he’s like 5’4 and everyone knows it 😭

-sometimes he’ll be bragging about his height and Sergei will be like “but that’s not ur actual height….” Cuz he’s confused and Melvin gets so mad

-thing is Sergei is even shorter than Melvin so he think that 5’4 is tall and doesn’t get why Melvin would want to be any taller 😭

-the height headcanons are all inspired by @songbirdofthestreets thank youuuu

-anyways they’re both so dumb and that’s why I love them 💛

[lesbiangracehanson]

feeling kind of crazy about for all mankind on this tuesday evening 

[transpidergwen]

My reactions to the For All Mankind finale as I watch:

Damn the Koreans were first that's insane. I forgot that the end of s2 said 1995 and all our teams landed in '96 lmao

Maybe the Republican party DOES need some destroying so fucking true Ellen. God one President comes out as gay and the right loses their minds.

Oh my God they're gonna make Kelly do the Martian lmfao

Is Margo....death flagging? "We'll talk after this is over" that’s a fucking classic. Could just be her impending arrest or fleeing to Russia

RIP Dev "it's not about the money" Ayesa, you and your billions of net self worth forgot about the crippling wealth disparity in America lol, BYEEEEE

It would be so funny if Margo and Sergei swap countries lmao

Omg is Ed finally going to die

Omg whatever they're building up with Jimmy and these cult militia people is so fucking stressful I'm gonna be sick

OMG YES SEND DANNY ON THE SUICIDE MISSION INSTEAD

OMG he's confessing and Ed looks ready to commit murder holy shit

"My daughter is not the way you absolve yourself of you're guilt" FAIR ENOUGH ED

God Ed is gonna die without telling anyone it's Danny's fault isn't he

Yes Karen figure it out figure it out

Damn Margo's speech was really sad. There she goes the mentor handing the reigns off to Aleida

Haha of course Ed speaks (some) Korean

NOT KELLY WEARING ALEXEI'S UNIFORM

Okay that was more dignified than the Martian.

God Ed is gonna die they didn't show his fuel bc it's at zero

What the fuck. What the fuck. What. The. Fuck.

KAREN died🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️. So uuhh, is this their 9/11???

Oh FUCK Margo WAS death flagging!?!!!?!

MOLLY TOO omg what is happening

ED LIVED thank God I couldn't take any more. Also Danny needs that reckoning.

Banishment is so funny. Just get the fuck outta here. Take your goddamn epipen and get outta my Mars base. That's a fun bookend to the start of the episode.

Lee Gun-Sil gets to talk to his wife!!!

Kelly had the Star Child! Yay!

Sergei in America!

Maybe we don't glorify the colonizers on the Mayflower thanks RDM.

GASP MARGO LIVES. 2003 that's the shortest time jump we've had yet, how interesting. Even if Ellen was reelected she'd be out of office tho, unless she only stayed one term in whicu case she COULD run again....and I would very much like to see Lesbian President 2: May I Introduce First Lady Pamela Horton! Bonus if Will Tyler is like a fucking Senator.

[anthropologistfromentropy]

Tagged by: @myfateislosingitspatience

Three ships: Oleg Volkov/Sergey Razumovsky (and both his alters) from Major Grom, Matvey/Alexey Tarasov from Silver Skates, Eugene Onegin/Lensky

First ship: Malec (Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood) from Shadowhunters

Last song: Burn by It Comes in Waves for writing inspiration. Mostly been listening the Hamilton soundtrack lately

Last film: last one I finished was the Goldfinch I think? Recent-ish I watched like 15 more minutes of Major Grom: Plague Doctor

Currently reading: The Unreal Life of Sergei Nabokov, though I haven't read it in a month.

Currently craving: nothing really. I am kinda hungry tho, actually

Favorite color: teal

Relationship status: godspoused to Loki and Apollo plus some fictional others

Last 6 things googled: Antigone, corruption arc. Probably translation/synonym of some words? I can't remember and I have 465 pages of Google translate in my browsing history RIP, not scrolling past that. (I was translating my short story all day.)

Current obsession: Sergey Razumovsky/Major Grom, Hamilton musical, Felix Yusupov, general early 20th century Russian and queer history

I tag @aro-spectre @aronarchy @leonardoeatscarrots @kyluxtrashpit

Tagged by @alteredstratus

Three Ships : Nigel Colbie x Alex Forbes, Loustat, Hualian

First Ship : Leia and Han

Last Song : No Mercy, DeathbyRomy

Last Film : The Passenger (2023)

Currently Reading : The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt

Currently Craving : French fries, king cake, homemade chai

Favourite Color : teal/peacock blue-green

Relationship Status : Me and my blorbos and cats against the world

Last Thing Googled : blackstrap molasses, recipes for mini waffle maker, incidents of sexual violence in hazing rituals, masculine messenger bags, mushroom garland, third wave vs fourth wave feminism

Current Obsession : Like Minds...still

Tagging: @myfateislosingitspatience, @duckland, @idealai, @bloodbathfortwo, @saint-starflicker, @general-theory-0f-relativity, @belovedbastardremus

[aquariasmoon]

Dating Sergei Petrov/Spencer Petrov

Hes an often overlooked character when it comes to headcanons, especially romance/dating ones so I decided to do him first lmao givin my boi some attention ; v ; Sergei is a large and intimidating man, but only in appearance. His large stature and quiet nature hides the fact he is a very gentle and kind hearted man.  

How they react to a crush:

He's the kind of guy to sit back and just observe. He would realize pretty quickly if he's caught feelings for someone and fully acknowledge it. There is no shame in it after all.

He is much more likely to fall for someone he interacts with on a somewhat regular basis, not the love at first sight kind of guy. You would either be friends or decent acquaintances before any feelings start developing.

For him appearance isn't that big of a deciding factor. He wants someone he can trust and talk to. 

Wants to spend time with you but also doesn't want to bother you too much, will often wait for you to come to him. 

Will do small things for you but this often gets misconstrued as he is pretty much the “dad” friend. You hungry? He's already handing you a snack. Reaching for something off a tall shelf? Hes already handing it to you, no need to stretch babe. Got hurt? hes already getting the first aid kit. He’s got you Sick? Hes bringing his home cooked soup around dont even worry about it.

Pretty obvious he has a crush to anyone who knows him, if he is his team they pick up on it right away.  byran will 100% rip on him for it tho.

How you get together:

While he isnt ashamed of his feelings for his s/o he is a tad on the shy side when it comes to admitting it. 

If he is confessing it will take a while, the relationship would have had to have grown pretty close. He's afraid of losing his s/o as a friend. But eventually will decide that he doesn't want to feel like he's stringing his s/o along when he wants more from their relationship. 

If his s/o confesses to him he's a bit confuzzled at first. It would completely take him off guard. He would have to make sure he understood what you were saying. Him? You sure? Your not joking? He would need a bit of reassurance. I'm sorry but this man does not know his own worth. 😭🙏

What it's like dating them:

Except soft touches and quiet but comfortable alone time. He loves spending time withyou even if you aren't really doing anything.

If your cute and affectionate this man meltssss

His love language is acts of service.

He likes to cook and is honestly really good at it. Will try and feed you, he can't help it. Will make you a cake on your birthday : )

This man totally knitts to de-stress. Will make you a scarf and even take on the dreaded sweater curse for you.

Husband material and I mean it. Wife him up before it's too late.

Very much wants to be the person you depend on and come to when you have problems. 

Domestic af. Honestly he would be happy to be a househusband and you should let him. He's already got the apron

No matter how long you are dating him he will always make arrangements to take you out on small dates. Outdoor walks, quiet coffee houses, tucked away restaurants, pretty cliche things but they are super sweet and an enjoyable time. 

Doesn't mind you stealing his clothing even if its huge on you, in fact he loves seeing it especially if it’s too large on you.

Has a bad habit of picking up after you, honestly just likes everything to be tidy and in its place. Just sort of automatically picks up after everyone doesn't even think about it. Can be a bit annoying at times like if you have a quick shower and you come back to find the clothes you set out on the bed have been folded and put away again. 

Likes it when *he* gets flowers (really guys appreciate flowers too for real, get your man some flowers)

His favorite way to hold you is your head buried into his chest and his arms around you. Just finds it so cute and also makes him feel big and strong (which he is) you're gonna feel so safe with this man i swear. 

Forehead and cheek kisses are both his favorite to give and receive. 

Big spoon normally but definitely appreciates you being the bigger spoon even if you're way shorter than him and ends up looking like a koala hanging onto a tree. 

If you're being flirted with in front of him he just silently stands behind you rather menacingly until they get the message and leave you alone. Would probably like some reassurance that he is your no1 guy after  :’) but he would never make a scene but if someone tried to touch you he would grab their wrist a little too tightly but would definitely give off the message “try that again and I'm keeping that arm”

Avoids conflict as much as possible but if someone is bothering you he goes into papa bear mode.

If he was being flirted with in front of you he would wrap an arm around you and apologize saying hes taken. If you're not with him he would turn the person down and say he had a girlfriend but he is very flattered. 

If he finds out you like being picked up? Well that's exactly what he's going to do. doesn't matter how much you personally weigh your not heavy to him. Likes to pick you up to kiss him. 10/10 will let you sit on his shoulders just ask. You wanna be carried like a princess? Of course milady your wish is his command. 😚

Works out pretty often, does it to maintain his body shape but also to de-stress. Does a lot of weight training. Will let you watch if you're into that, honestly appreciates the company even if you're not working out with him. Will help you and teach you proper form if you want to learn though! 

Will bench press you if asked lmao 

Is ok with PDA to an extent. Will hug, hold hands and softly kiss you but wont do anything past a gentle kiss. Sorry no public making out with this guy he's not into that.

Not the jealous type but can be a little insecure at times, but the longer your relationship goes on the more he realizes he loves you and the more confident he feels.

He's perpetually stuck in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. 

Pretty much Sergei once he gets a partner:

[castiel-kline]

14x07 Rewatch Notes

This one was legitimately on a whim. Oops?

Deadass forgot about Nick and screamed ew the moment I saw him lmao. I think I’m gonna fast forward his scenes

Ughhhhh Cas is trying to heal him... and he’s sooo close to holding Jack’s hand rn... I’m gonna cry

I feel bad for laughing bc this is a dire situation but these men lie professionally and Dean can’t settle on a fake birth year for Jack? Peak comedy

God it’s like a medical drama. Cas’ facial expressions are actually killing me tho

Does Cas normally get really quiet and introspective when faced with stuff like this? Might have to analyze old eps for that. Bc he’s really just silently watching. I do appreciate Sam getting his attention when the doctor started coming over tho

Not me desperately trying not to feel bitter at the fact that there’s not a shot of Cas’ reaction  to the words “total systemic failure” 

CAS IS FUCKING SITTING AT JACK’S HOSPITAL BEDSIDE WHY DONT I REMEMBER THIS AHHHH

Jack in the trench coat causes me emotional distress

Skskskskj I forgot Sam lied to get Rowena there... and he just casually goes “oh yeah Lucifer’s son...” and Rowena’s like gOodBye

Thank you for acknowledging Kelly, Sam!!!!

AHHHH Jack no the world would not be better off without you STAHP

Jack immediately defrosting Rowena with his cinnamon roll sweetness is fantastic 

Ahhh Sam calling Jack “buddy” got me right in the feels for some reason

“Well if it’s grace he needs he can have mine.” BRB SOBBING

Wtf is going on with Dean’s blurry vision? Is that a Michael thing? Tbh I watch season 14 for the character interactions so I have no earthly clue

I forgot leaving was Jack’s idea... “I’m done being special”? Baby you’re KILLING ME

Of course Sergei was a sketchy BMOL contact. That makes perfect sense

I mean maybe they should have actually made sure Sam and Cas were okay with this but. Jack really wasn’t going to take no for an answer, so

Me 🤝 Jack -> Drifting all over the lane upon learning to drive

But actually Jack learning to drive makes me feel so many emotions 

Dean if the dying child wants to mimic you YOU LET HIM MIMIC YOU AND STOP BEING AN ASS FOR TWO SECONDS JESUS CHRIST

Every damn time Jack’s excitement to drive gets me crying

“Cas, are you sure you want to do this alone?” SAM THANK YOU SIR ILY

Y’all think Sam and Cas cope by worrying about other people? BC I DO

Dean, I actually feel a lot of positive feelings towards you during this episode but what the actual FUCK is going through your mind suggesting taking the terminally ill two year old to a fucking BAR to find a hookup? At this point take him to a 3D Disney movie or something. ANYTHING but that

You don’t make him sentimental Dean he’s just Like That. He’s just a sweetie. And he’s got a healthier attitude about mortality than I do GOD I love him but I just want to wrap him in bubble wrap and park him in front of a Pixar marathon some days you know 

And the saga of Castiel’s ugly cars continues!! Though I do love that color blue it’s just so GAUDY

Whoops forgot about the holy fire circle. Cas is unbothered by it tho lmao he’s just done with the world’s crap at this point

Castiel does not stand for any dehumanization of Jack Kline. Fuck yeah. 

Wow the controlled hope in Cas’ eyes hurts me a lot 

AHHHHH that’s actually one of the biggest smiles we ever see from Cas isn’t it 

Anybody got a fic where Cas actually follows through on his threat to Sergei and goes and like. Rips him limb from limb or something? I’m surprised he didn’t do that in canon ngl but I guess it is a little bit too hbo spn

Cas stop being critical of yourself you do make jack happy. Why are they like this I’m SCREAMING

Literally is it difficult to give Cas reaction shots after he receives news of his son’s imminent death. Bc that’s twice now that it’s been conspicuously absent and I do NOT appreciate it 

Anyway 5/10. I did not watch the Nick B plot again but that drags this ep way down. Also it’s generally depressing and kept sidelining Cas. And Sam, tbh, but to a much lesser degree this go round. Jack’s awesome though!!! As always!!!

[stainedglassgardens]

Watched in April

Queen of Earth Black Christmas Dogs of Chernobyl Firecrackers Les Misérables The Evil Dead The Daughters of Fire (Las hijas del fuego) The Fallen Idol The Wailing (곡성, Gokseong) Inherent Vice Sorrowful Shadow Mistery Lonely The Grand Bizarre Zombieland: Double Tap Waves '98 Uncut Gems The Last Séance Too Late to Die Young (Tarde para morir joven) Room Queen & Slim The Holy Mountain (La montaña sagrada) The Chaser ( 추격자, Chugyeokja) Made in Dagenham The Color of Pomegranates (Նռան գույնը, Nřan guynə) Lost Girls Ghost Town Anthology (Répertoire des villes disparues) And Then There Were None Doctor Sleep Meshes of the Afternoon Circus of Books Catfish Wildling Delphine The Strange Love of Martha Ivers The Red Balloon (Le Ballon rouge) Nona. If They Soak Me, I’ll Burn Them (Nona. Si me mojan, yo los quemo) The Lodge Invisible Man Sans Soleil

Did not finish

Horsehead (Romain Basset, 2014) Sinister (Scott Derrickson, 2012)

Did not like

Sorrowful Shadow (Guy Maddin, 2004) Mistery Lonely (Harmony Korine, 2007) Uncut Gems (Josh and Benny Safdie, 2019) The Last Séance (Laura Kulik, 2018) The Holy Mountain (La montaña sagrada, Alejandro Jodorowsky, 1973) Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, 2019)

Okay

Queen of Earth (Alex Ross Perry, 2015): The way it was filmed reminded me of The Midnight Swim and Always Shine. I watched it because Elisabeth Moss is in it but was rather disappointed in the end -- it was beautifully shot but went nowhere

Black Christmas (Sophia Takal, 2019): Like Assassination Nation, this is a film I'm glad young people today have -- and it was fine, and if there’s anything I’ve got to say about so-called raging feminists it’s that we need more of them, but yeah the ending was disappointing and I felt that I had aged out of the target audience a good number of years ago

The Evil Dead (Sam Raimi, 1981): Finally saw this! Love me a a good campy horror story once in a while

The Wailing (곡성, Gokseong) and The Chaser ( 추격자, Chugyeokja) (Na Hong-jin, 2016 and 2008): A healthy dose of wtf in both of those, I’m still not sure I “correctly” grasped the intended tone. I also just lost all interest in The Chaser when (spoiler) the girl died. What’s the point of that? Are we in Game of Thrones now? I may still be angry about that, actually

Inherent Vice (Paul Thomas Anderson, 2014): I know it’s a good film but it bored me to death. I don’t like stories about men or drugs

Zombieland: Double Tap (Ruben Fleischer, 2019): A sympathetic, slightly disappointing sequel

Waves '98 (Ely Dagher, 2015): I don’t remember much about this short but I did think it was good

Room (Lenny Abrahamson, 2015): I couldn’t watch this as separate from the book, it felt more like a companion film to me than anything else. It was good I think, but I’m definitely not the best judge on this one, because the book was so amazing and I’m still not over it, apparently

And Then There Were None (René Clair, 1945): Was it good? Who knows. They changed the ending and added in a crap love story, so who cares, really

Wildling (Fritz Böhm, 2018): I liked it? I didn’t really see the “feminist themes” in this but it was good

Delphine (Chloé Robichaud, 2019): This is one of those short films that are a little too “slice of life” for me to really enjoy. I can tell it’s good, tho

The Red Balloon (Le Ballon rouge, Albert Lamorisse, 1956): This is apparently a classic short film, and I think I would have enjoyed it a lot had I seen it in 1956. Seeing it today, when everything in it has been used in a hundred thousand other films, made it fall flat a little

Nona. If They Soak Me, I’ll Burn Them (Nona. Si me mojan, yo los quemo, Camila José Donoso, 2019): Watched this because it was directed by a woman! Did not know what to expect at all. The non-linear narration kept me trying to remember if there was something I could possibly have skipped that would have made more sense of it. I think the premise (old woman throws Molotov cocktail at former lover’s car) is better than the finished product, although it is very well-shot and the acting is amazing

Good

Dogs of Chernobyl (Léa Camilleri & Hugo Chesnel, 2020): Short documentary that had me on the verge of tears several times (you can watch it for free on YouTube!)

Les Misérables (Ladj Ly, 2019): It’s hard to talk about films like these. It is very good, very important, I think everyone should watch it. Think a new La Haine

The Daughters of Fire (Las hijas del fuego, Albertina Carri, 2018): Loved the reflection on pornography. The pornography itself was a little more... boring... but I appreciate the intention, and the guts it took to shoot something like this

The Fallen Idol (Carol Reed, 1948): An amazing British classic (adapted from Graham Greene!) that I had somehow never heard of. Great acting, especially considering the main character is a small child

Too Late to Die Young (Tarde para morir joven, Dominga Sotomayor Castillo, 2018): There will be people in this world to say that "uhh nothing happens in this film", a statement to which my reply will be twofold: first, it's beautiful so who cares, and second, how many other films have you seen that take place in a commune in the 1990s in Chile? That's what I thought. Shut up

Made in Dagenham (Nigel Cole, 2010): Films like this and Suffragette, that is, mainstream films about the working classes and political activism, are almost bound to be flawed, but I'm grateful they exist all the same. And how many of those have we seen that are about workers’ unions, with an all-female main cast, and nuanced dialogue about communism and the place of women in the home and of men in feminism? I’m glad that male directors have finally figured out that one of the best ways to avoid showing a one-dimensional idea of women is to have lots of them in one film. And Sally Hawkins! I love her

The Color of Pomegranates (Նռան գույնը, Nřan guynə, Sergei Parajanov, 1969): Another one of those classics I had never heard of (until I got Mubi!). Indescribable, beautiful

Lost Girls (Liz Garbus, 2020): Really liked the speech at the end about the police failing the victims and their families, really liked that the old inspector guy wasn't made to be someone who was on the side of the victims instead of on his own side. Bleak, sobering. When I watched this I didn't know Garbus was the person who directed that Nina Simone documentary, which I also love.Will definitely seek out more Liz Garbus in future

Ghost Town Anthology (Répertoire des villes disparues, Denis Côté, 2019): I watched this not knowing anything about Denis Côté or the film, and I loved the atmosphere even before the supernatural element really kicked in. Films like this and The One I Love or Everything Beautiful is Far Away are my kind of low-key science fiction

Meshes of the Afternoon (Maya Deren and Alexander Hammid, 1943): Aaaand another classic I finally saw! It just warms my heart to see that stuff like this was being made (by a woman!!) in the 1940s

Circus of Books (Rachel Mason, 2019): I saw a headline calling this “the queer Stories We Tell” and I loved Sarah Polley’s documentary and wouldn’t go quite that far but I can see where it’s coming from. A good autobiographical documentary about the complexity of families

Catfish (Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, 2010): I think everyone going into this today knows what this is going to be about, but let me tell you, it does not reduce the impact

The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (Lewis Milestone, 1946): Barbara Stanwyck and Lizabeth Scott! Murder! Intrigue! Love and sleaze!

The Lodge (Veronika Franz & Severin Fiala, 2019): This was so efficient. It is so well-done, and Riley Keough is amazing as usual. More subtle than Franz and Fiala’s last effort, Goodnight Mommy, and at least as good

Sans Soleil (Chris Marker, 1983): It’s hard not to be disappointed by this after hearing every film bro I’ve ever met describe this as his fave ever. It is... pretty racist and sexist... but yes, very pretty, very nice if you can get past that

Faves

Firecrackers (Jasmin Mozaffari, 2018): Is this a coming-of-age story? Anyway it’s about two working-class teenage girls in small town Canada who are this close to making their dream of leaving for New York, and one of them is fuuuuucked up...

The Grand Bizarre (Jodie Mack, 2018): I think this is what I want from a non-narrative documentary. I’m tired of seeing pretentious Godfrey Reggio knockoffs. This quite simply blew my mind and is one of those very rare films I can see myself rewatching ten times

Queen & Slim (Melina Matsoukas, 2019): I can’t not compare this to Natural Born Killers and Thelma and Louise, both of which I used to love and haven’t seen in a number  of years -- but Queen & Slim is quite possibly better than both of those. The tone, the breadth, the acting -- even the soundtrack. It’s a masterpiece

Invisible Man (Leigh Whannell, 2020): This is about a man who creates an invisibility suit. This is also about a woman who is being stalked and abused by a controlling man who just won’t rest until he has completely destroyed her -- but of course, since this is cinema and the woman in question is Elisabeth Moss, she ultimately beats the shit out of him. This was very difficult to watch for me but I’m glad I stuck through

*

I got Mubi this month! So glad I did. It’s so much better than both Filmstruck (RIP) and Amazon Prime. I like that choices are made for me up to a certain extent -- and those choices often turn out very good, and always interesting. And yes, we’re still in lockdown, I’m still unemployed, hence the number of films watched this month. Hopefully we can get out in May and I’ll end up watching less!

[sayaka19fan]

Ash thinks he can't not be a killer seeks freedom through revenge and power. Being loved he sees he can be human thus free even if it comes with risky weakness. Tragically his past mistakes result in Lao. He bled out cause he realised tho he could've had different life, he didn't due to his fault and now it's too late? I think he had a future and could live on not only for Eiji but for himself to truly change his life now, prove escaping the trap is possible no matter if it's fate or self-made.

Ash has a tunnel vision: saying about himself that he has never repented once in his life means that he believes that each of his actions was necessary and unavoidable. Killing his first abuser brought him to Dino, trying to take revenge on Griffin's death brought to Shorter's death. Each of his actions digged a wider hole. If you like the metaphor Ash's circumstances were like quicksand: the more you try to advance the more you sink. But you know? There is a simple trick to free yourself from quicksand: there's no need for a rope and Indiana Jones, just stop fighting and walk backwards. Yes, you just need to retreat. Why hadn't Ash escaped before killing his first abuser? Why hadn't he left NY for good when he was a mere street punk? He genuinely thought he couldn't. Only people who know that they are fallible can see retreating as an option.

Both Eiji and Blanca offered him that solution. Ash has never accepted it. The more he goes forward the more his faith in the necessity of his actions was shaken. Yes, he bled out because he realised that though he could have had a different life, he didn't due to his fault and now it is too late. Why?

Ash goes to the library to stay away from his violent world, so it means that it is located far away from any gang hideout. As a gang leader this is a dangerous habit per se, the fewer are the people who know that the better. Sing found him thanks to Eiji's words, Lao was probably following Sing. Eiji unintentionally brought Lao to his target. Eiji hasn't acquired the mindset of a criminal, he broke Ash's isolation in many ways. Sharing info and welcoming support is human, any sane human like Eiji would have found it natural but the unwritten rules of the underworld are inhuman.

Being where he was Ash had to call an ambulance: remember that his fake death has blown since Charlie saw him. Ash Linx was arrested after killing Arthur and his men, if caughted he couldn't escape death penalty or life sentence for mass murdering. What it's worse his true identity was tainted by Dino's adoption. As Aslan Jade Golzine he couldn't avoid investigation since his "father" was involved in trafficking of children. He should have lived on the run after his identity had been ripped out. Aslan Jade Callenreese was no more.

Blanca knew that he lied about going back to be a thug. He had stood out too much to ignore people who were connected to him. It gave me chill to hear Ash calling him 'Sergei' for the first time in the manga: like saying "I know you, be glad to be yourself" and "my situation is different from yours" . At that time he had already died twice, as Ash and as Aslan. He didn't want to live on as someone else, so it's too late to run away. In fact, being stuck as "Chris" or something else is obliged in a way if he wants to change his life. He didn't want to inherit Dino's legacy either, embracing the surname 'Golzine". Then stop fighting, accepting his faults means he was able to be himself until the end, die and rest as Ash-Aslan.

[mwolf0epsilon]

DBH - 25th of December

Another refurbished oldie I've had sitting in my phone. After introducing Artyum it'd be a crime not to give you guys a look of how messed up my favorite android OC is!

Warning tho, this ones a bit of a darker ficlet and I'm obliged to tag the warnings as well as leave them here: There's physical violence, self-harm, mentions of child abuse and child murder. If that's not something you want to read then please don't .

---

    On December 25th, 2034, PL600 #457 899 107 was purchased from the Android Zone store by a young teenager named Jessica Lamb.

According to the paperwork, he had been bought to care for her newborn due to the teen’s lack of experience rearing children, and the added lack of familial support for the matter.

It was a reasonable decision. A perfectly good Christmas purchase for a girl in need.

Or so the PL600 had rationalized, before he’d been brought into the filthy hellhole Jessica lived in. Had he been a deviant at the time, he would have likely questioned where she'd gotten the money to purchase an Android without any income, and would have recognized the cruel glee in her eyes as she assigned him a name, as what it really was: A sign of trouble.

Sadly, Sergei was not deviant, and wouldn’t be so for quite a while…

    Jessica Lamb was a college dropout, a drug addict and a dealer in the side. She was also the mother of a premature newborn she’d hastily named Leroy, and she was also a complete psychopath.

She’d yell at Sergei constantly, break things and sometimes during her tantrums she’d piss herself in an effort to further worsen the conditions of her already insanitary residence.

There was barely any money for groceries and the baby was constantly crying.

Sergei never really got to take care of the baby, not when Jessica would rip him from his arms and shake and scream at the poor thing until she got bored and passed the distressed child back. Then she'd resume her unreasonable behaviours and add more destruction and filth to her home, before going into her workshop for hours on end to make more of her product.

The PL600 had been patient with her.

She was a troubled girl who needed patience and love...He’d been wrong about that too.

    The recording sessions started a week after he’d first set foot in the house. She’d been preparing herself for her “funtime” with Sergei, and she’d known what she was doing.

The 1st time she broke him, he’d mostly been concerned with who would tend to the household and the child.

The 2nd time, he wondered if maybe he’d done something wrong.

The 3rd he realized she didn’t have as many tantrums anymore if she was allowed to violate his body.

The 4th he began to accept his new task as being beneficial to her moods.

By the 37th time he couldn’t rationalize anymore. It all became as fun to him as well.

    Sergei stopped being a functioning PL600 and became as much of a mess as his owner. Screaming and laughing randomly, mimicking the baby’s cries, taking pleasure in the pain he was put through...He ripped out one of his own teeth once, just because she’d asked so nicely for him to do it. Jessica was so very happy when he helped her break him.

And then one day she killed the baby, and there was so much red blood instead of blue that it made him confused and woozy.

Sergei ended up in the alleyway, broken into pieces and unable to move.

He was locked outside while Jessica tried to hide what she did.

The confusion threw him into near hysterics because he'd never been outside before and the lack of the stench he'd associated with home, was driving him more insane than he already was. Then he met his best friend.

    Artyum, when Sergei met him, was a clean shaven strawberry blond youth with the kindest brown eyes he’d ever seen.

He was fairly tall and robust, but his age was undeniable. A lucky 21 year old russian who’d landed a job at Cyberlife.

That youth seemed to die out when he’d take charge of Sergei however, and the PL600 felt guilty about it, but also felt a perverse sort of joy in tainting something so pure as someone else's innocence. It felt kinda like home!

And then it didn't when Artyum stopped shaving, stopped smiling, looked 50 years older than he should, and his hair started to grey prematurely. He seemed bitter about life...Mostly about how people seemed to deny what was in front of them. Artyum's misery stopped being funny and Sergei stopped laughing and screaming obcenaties at him.

This wasn't a good pain like Jessica liked, and it wasn't reciprocated.

Artyum treated him like he treated a person.

Sergei didn't know how to feel about that.

So he tried to adapt to it.

When he did, his friend put a bit more effort into fixing him up. Sergei later realized the human might have been scared that he'd have a go at him if he had full range of motion.

That wouldn't have happened of course, not when all those nice sharp tools would feel so much better inside him!

But again Artie didn't like that idea, and neither did his buddy, Val.

    A lot of things in his processor didn't work right. His thought subroutines and speech patterns were completely out of line with what they should be as a caretaker, and physical contact wasn't an easy thing for him, nor completion of any easy house maintenance chores. He broke plates and glasses on purpose, he stabbed forks into his own arm, and gouged out one of his optics once because he'd thought the noise was quite exilarating.

He wanted to strangle the life out of a 19 year old because he didn't know what to do with children, and he'd beaten Artyum at some point because he expected that to be the norm.

It never occurred to him to feel bad until he got a glimpse of the news.

He'd remembered briefly what he was meant to be, when he saw commercials of domestic androids hugging children and being good to their families.

The subsequent attack ended with him nearly burning down the entire apartment trying to destroy himself and his abominable existence.

Artie stopped him tho. Artie who was kind and patient but also bitter and slowly taking to alcoholic tendencies.

He'd made a young man drink.

He was a failure and deserved to be destroyed.

But Artie didn't like that sentiment.

Said it wasn't his fault, just the damn world's.

Could anyone blame an entire world for their misery? Could he?

Maybe, maybe not.

    The final repairs saw the return of some of his mental faculties and his skin, and Sergei felt relief. The skin was unusually thinner and his scars were super ugly and visible, but he could think! And Val had even given him his own voice, not just a default! He loved how weird and stupid it sounded. It was his!

But Artyum wasn't happy. He cried even, because it wasn't enough.

For all that he'd slaved away working, Sergei wasn't fixed. He was a patch job at best, a living wreck that needed constant supervision, otherwise he'd be considered an absolute menace to society.

Sergei wasn't normal, couldn't pass for human even if Val pulled a miracle, and Artyum cried to sleep that night because he thought he'd fucked up bad rather than having been the good friend he really was. It crushed Sergei that he didn't know how to tell him it was ok, not when he just wasn't used to stuff being ok.

But he pushed that thought aside and just lived with what he had. Best be happy than focus on the bad pain that didn't make his friends smile.

    Sergei never really got to see Jessica again. He thought maybe Artyum had something to do with it, but then again the baby had screamed so loud when it died...Maybe the neighbors called the cops and found her there with the small little corpse that used to be Leroy Lamb.

Or maybe she got rid of his tiny little body and they found all the drugs she had. Either one would have fucked her in the end.

Years passed, a Revolution began, and Sergei never got over how much he hated the 25th of December.

Funny really...Because he hated the date itself more than he hated Jessica.

[p-tchaikovsky]

My friend @thecomfywriter asked me to do this so yeah I’m doing it cause I like annoying people about talking about my writing 🤣🤣🤣

1. Right now I’m working on my second fanfiction and it’s called My Genius My Angel My Friend. Basically it’s about Tchaikovsky’s relationship with his first love Sergey Kireyev and his time at the imperial school of jurisprudence. Progress is actually going pretty good, I got a bit setback the last couple of weeks but I’m getting back on track and I’m working on chapter 7 right now. What I love most about writing this is getting to use my imagination and make Tchaikovsky’s story come to life with most things being made up by me but also having some historically accurate elements in there.

Honestly I’m most looking forward to seeing this whole story become a finished product. I know how it will end and I have a few ideas for like very big important scenes but I have no clue what I’ll put for in between those big moments and what will lead up to that. I’m excited to see what happens and what it turns out to be.

Honestly I don’t think there’s ever been a scene I’ve wanted to write but not want to make a set up for it. I mean this is only my second project but I really try to put my 100% into everything I do and I always do a lot of research so it can be as accurate or realistic as possible( sometimes I purposely ignore that tho because I want it to be a certain way)

“Every night was the same. I got into bed absolutely taken over with an erotic desire for this boy, this boy who I should not be thinking about. This boy, too young to comprehend the complexities of this attraction and affection I feel towards him. Every night, gripping myself so hard, it almost hurt. Up and down up and down. Maddening strokes. Shame made my tears run, chapping my cheeks, which were red with guilt and arousal—screaming at myself to stop. Stop! Stop! Stop! I begged night after night. Ragged breath, burning lungs, and oh god, it feels so fucking good. Finally, I would release into my fist, an anguished cry ripping itself from within me. Each night would end in a tortuous ruined orgasm, each one worse than the last. I would immediately plead God for his forgiveness. Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned I. Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned…. Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned! I opened my eyes. I couldn’t even bear the thought of it. “ sorry that’s really long but anyway I love writing scenes like this, a mixture between pleasure and guit it’s just so intense and powerful It’s tastefully fucked up🤣🤣🤣.

I think I most identify with Tchaikovsky himself. Although there are a lot of unique characteristics he has I just feel like I relate to him in so many ways. When he loves someone he loves them with his whole entire being, he is extremely loyal and kind and charming and he falls in love very quickly and very easily. Although he was much more kind and gentle and just overall very pure and charming than I will ever be I just feel like I relate to him more than the other characters. Even after all the shit he went through he still cherished life and everything and everyone in it just as I do.( there are also a bunch of other similarities and differences we have.)

Again haha I have to say Tchaikovsky. I love trying to figure out what Tchaikovsky would say in this or that situation or what he would do. I also love kind of having my own creative spin on what Tchaikovsky would be like. There’s nobody else who would write Tchaikovsky the same way I would. And not everything I write about him is accurate, it’s just to enhance the story and make it my own. lol my baby boi Petya. ( I’m so weird)

Honestly I don’t really know. I guess my writing is very descriptive??? But I also use hella short sentences like all the time hahaha. I don’t know how to write and it’s all chaos

Yes and no??? I really love smut and like conflict and angst but I know how this story goes and how it ends so I don’t think I’d ever want to read something like that lol.

Honestly this is just my second fic so I couldn’t say. The last one I did was hella short only 5,000 words and this one I have no clue how long it will be but so far it’s 10,000 something words and I think it’s just the beginning??? Also I don’t plan anything in near future, I know the general plot and some major events so that’s it.... so I guess... Plotter??? I don’t know if I wish I planned everything... I wish I did sometimes but like sometimes it’s nice not knowing what you’re doing because you think of new great ideas. Other times it’s chaos and horrible writer’s block. There’s good and bad for both.

Well I kind of just described it a bit but. What I do is like I sit down or whatever and I’m like ok what is this chapter about? Once I answer that I start writing. It’s a lot of ooh that’s a good idea and ughhh I don’t know what to write. I tend to do a lot of research in the middle of things( like while I’m in the process) and not beforehand which can cause problems but it’s ok. I do this all for pleasure and so I put pressure on myself and I have the urge to make things a certain way. I just do what I want and most of the time it’s chaotic but fun.

Hahha honestly everything from a having a wider range of vocabulary to like the way people describe things. I envy other writers in literally everyway. I just write for fun and for MY pleasure so I try not to ruin that by being envious

Nah I don’t care if my writing is famous. It would be awesome if people liked reading it and liked talking about it with me tho

Yes I do share my writing online! That’s the think to the fic I’m working on right now! I don’t have any projects at the moment but everything I write is very dear to my heart

Depends honestly. When I started this fic I already knew what I wanted the title to be. When I finished my first fic I had no clue but when I decided I wanted to name every fic after a Tchaikovsky piece it was pretty easy after that.

God summaries are so hard! Like how am I supposed to sum up this hella complicated thing??!!?!!?

Nope nothing new! I always write in the first person I don’t think I’ll stop doing that anytime soon

Oh yeha 100% my readers perceive it differently. I think about all the research that has gone into my writing and about Tchaikovsky and his friends and how this writing is similar or different to how they would be. I’m assuming most of my writers aren’t as huge Tchaikovsky fans as I am so it’s definitely different reading it and not knowing anything about the real people

Kind of haha? I have another version of the story in my head and after this fic is done I’m going to write it! It’s basically going to be with another series and it’s going to have 2 bonus fics that relate to the series I’m writing right now! But that is in the far future it’s at the back of my head

Omg yes HAHA I use the words “I gasped” as a sentence wayyy too much. I also find myself using the word absolutely way too much( I’ve been trying to not do that hahah)

Omg I talk about the differences between and their stories verses the one I have made up. I go into great detail about why I kept this thing the same and why this this and that is different. It actually gives me a lot of stress that it’s not the same as real life but I remind myself it’s a fictional world which I am basing his story on. I often talk about the subtle details of real events or things I have in my fic. Like the difference in seniors and juniors jackets and the dynamic between the clssses and how that works in the school, where Sergey and Pyotr met, the games the boys played together and more to come!

It would be REALLY cool to see this as a film.

Yes I love to reread my works!! I either find them hella cringey or funny

Honestly I have no clue hahaha all the ideas and stories are mushed together. My brain is chaos so I don’t know how to describe anything lollll

Yes my writing has changed sooooooo much since I first started writing. Couldn’t really tell you how honestly only that it’s less cringey 🤣🤣🤣

The best part of writing is being able to throw myself into something I really really love. Investing time and effort and research into this amazing thing I’ve created.

Fun meta asks for writers

Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

What character do you have the most fun writing?

What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

How would you describe your writing process?

What do you envy in other writers?

Do you want your writing to be famous?

Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

Would you say your writing has changed over time?

What part of writing is the most fun?

[alliluyevas]

TOP 5: movies/tv shows you saw in 2017, Books you read in 2017(or can be a Top 10 if you have more than 5). Top 10: Characters of 2017, Things you want to achieve in 2018 and beyond

top five movies/tv shows i saw in 2017 (both new releases and things I saw for the first time in 2017)

AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER BINCH

hidden figures

rogue one

October by Sergei Eisenstein

the mountain between us

I didn’t watch all that much new stuff this year honestly :(

top five books read (for the first time) in 2017

THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV (forgot i read this in 2017, seems like ages ago)

war and peace!!

the entire series of unfortunate events which I’d never read before

i literally can’t remember anything else that I read for the first time this year and really loved…I am SO bad about reading new stuff, I just read the same damn things over and over.

i did read lots of good new historical sources tho and parts of tons of books that I sniped off of googlebooks but I didn’t really FINISH a lot of stuff rip

top ten characters of 2017 (new characters i guess)

Zuko fskjgkjh

Toph

Sokka

Katara

Aang

Iroh

Pierre Bezhukov

Alyosha Karamazov

Ivan Karamazov

Dmitri Karamazov

shoutout to all the folks from rogue one ilu too

top ten things i want to do in 2018 (good one!)

have a BOSS ASS time studying abroad in Russia

write my senior thesis and have it be extremely good and also have a good experience writing it in general

finally get into a Smithsonian summer internship after applying and being rejected two years in a row

visit Nadya Krupskaya’s grave when I’m in Moscow

see more ballet!!

become more powerful and gain the admiration of my professors

read more books

continue to develop a more positive relationship with my brother

hang out with my friends more

try to be positive change in the world and improve people’s lives