#right here with pork and pickles

[relevant-catnik]

Taco Tuesday?

A DRUNKARD'S GRAVE!!!

[ms-fandomgirl]

BBHG: Tonkatsu (Ch. 4)

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Words: 5,291

Summary: A chance encounter in the Shibuya Train Station leaves you with a sore shoulder and a mysterious bento box. You’re willing to write the incident off and move on, otherwise preoccupied with navigating a new city and a new job, but a bombastic blond, meddling friend, and fate itself seem to have other plans.

Genre: Pro Hero AU, fluff, strangers to lovers, medical setting

Links: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist | Cross-posted on Ao3!

Tonkatsu - A Japanese dish consisting of a breaded, deep-fried pork cutlet. It is often served as a set meal with shredded cabbage, rice, miso soup, and pickles.

A crescendo of loud voices and heavy footfalls crested over you as you neared your destination. You grimaced, wanting to turn around and go back home, although that wasn’t an option here. Unfortunately, you weren’t in the train station. Those people you could handle. These were a different breed all together, and one you would rather die than face. In front of you, surrounding the main entrance to the hospital, was a sea of overly-eager reporters.

News of where Red Riot and Chargebolt were staying must have gotten leaked to the general public, although it also wouldn’t have been too difficult to figure out. Your hospital was the biggest one in the area, and it was also closest to where the attack had occurred. You tried to sneak around the outskirts of the mob attempting to get in, but your blue scrubs gave you away.

“Excuse me, do you work here?” one reporter asked, a young woman with pointed glasses and even pointier eyebrows drawn onto her face. You nodded quickly and tried to continue on your path, but it was too late. The crowd descended.

“Do you work with Red Riot and Chargebolt?”

“What are the conditions of the heroes?”

“Would you be willing to offer up a tour of the facility for an exclusive interview with our team?”

“When will the heroes be released from the hospital?”

They were most likely accosting you simply because you worked at the hospital. They had no reason to know that you did in fact work with Red Riot and Chargebolt. Still, you began to sweat at the thought that they had somehow figured it out, that they were targeting you specifically, and that they wouldn’t let you go until they had wrung every last detail from your body.

“I can’t answer your questions right now! I’m just trying to get to work,” you responded, trying to push your way through. This, however, was the wrong thing to say. You thought your answer was neutral, but the reporters latched on to your statement like a dog sinking its teeth into a prime cut of steak.

“So you confirm that you have information on the heroes Red Riot and Chargebolt?”

“If not now, then when would we be able to set up an interview with you?”

“What is it like to play nurse for two of the top ten? Are they still as charmingly handsome while infirmed? Hero Heartthrob wants to know.”

The last comment made your memory flash to a serene-looking Chargebolt, in a coma for the foreseeable future, and your blood began to boil. Who even were these people, to demand such things from you or anyone else for that matter?

“Don’t you have something better to do than harassing any poor medical personnel who enters these doors? What about reporting on the families of the injured civilians, or the manhunt for the villain? Go do your actual job and leave me alone to do mine.”

The reporters quieted in shock, and you braced yourself for the flurry of backlash that was sure to be unleashed your way. But it never came. Instead, their gazes morphed into something close to fear as the silenced stretched on. You failed to suppress a small smirk in victory, happy that even if you didn’t have their respect, as you doubted they ever respected anyone, you at least had their attention.

However, as they continued to stare at you, you began to feel a little uneasy, since they weren’t clearing a path for you either. You looked at the girl with pointy glasses who you now realized wasn’t staring at you, but at something directly behind your ear. You turned to look, but a deep voice boomed from behind, freezing you in place.

“You heard her. Scram.”

It was amazing to see how quickly the reporters could move when pressured. They parted cleanly down the middle, fleeing like beetles who had their dark log overturned and exposed to the sunlight. You finally turned to face one very ticked-off Bakugou, complete in full hero costume with a backpack slung over his shoulder, his arms crossed over his chest and a frown dipping the edges of his lips.

Despite his expression, you couldn’t help your small smile of gratitude. Playfully rolling your eyes, you motioned to the door, holding it open for him to enter. “You know, I thought that the reporters were actually scared of me for a second there. It felt nice.”

He chucked low in his chest, refusing your offer until you went in first. “It was quite a sight to walk up on: seeing some random nurse mouth off to a bunch of reporters like that. It was almost impressive, if you had upped your intimidation factor more.”

You huffed in frustration. “Would it kill you to give an actual compliment?”

“Yes.”

His words were harsh, but there was a slight bounce to his step that indicated he wasn’t completely serious. However, as the two of you made your way to the special ICU wing, his footfall became heavy, and all mirth slipped from his body replaced with a somber resignation. The change in atmosphere dampened your mood as well, and even more so as you heard raised voices coming from room 3307.

“I just don’t understand why I wasn’t informed of this decision until right now,” Gia said, her piercing voice echoing off the walls. She was standing in the center of the room, her arms crossed as she was facing Dr. Hiyashi with thinly veiled contempt.

For his part, Dr. Hiyashi looked surprisingly calm, although very weary from yesterday’s events. “The decision was made by myself and other nursing administrators. I appreciate your concern for these two top priority patients, but overall the hospital needs your talents of Diagnosis with the larger multitude of other patients.”

“But I could ensure that they are provided with whatever care they might need. Much more accurately than she could.”

Her attention had turned to you, standing awkwardly at the entrance of the doorway. You weren’t sure whether you were allowed to enter during this conversation, but it seemed now that the choice had been made for you. You opened your mouth to respond, but then closed it. She might have been throwing a fit, but you couldn’t help but feel there was some truth to her words. It was a concern that had kept you up last night, when you had been replaying the day in your mind, and it surfaced once again, trying to drag you down into the depths of uncertainty. 

“Oh yeah? What’s she doing wrong, then? If my friends aren’t being taken care of, I want to know.” Bakugou took this chance to make his presence known, stepping out from behind you. Gia’s eyes, which had previously been glaring at you, widened in surprise at his appearance. She at least had the good sense to look chagrined by her previous statement, now knowing that she had an audience.

She blinked, regaining her composure before giving Bakugou her most practiced smile. “I was just implying that if something did go wrong, my quirk Diagnosis would be much better suited for caring for them.”

She had dodged his question, and Bakugou didn’t appreciate it in the slightest. “She’s already been taking care of them for a full day now. If something’s wrong with them, then you should be able to tell, right? Use your quirk to see.”

She looked over at Dr. Hiyashi, who simply shrugged. It was obvious he wanted this conversation over with. She sauntered over to Red Riot first, reaching out to touch his shoulder. The tell-tale green glow that emanated from her hand signaled that her quirk was in use. After several seconds, she retracted her hand, making a show of staring intensely staring at his monitors. She did the same to Chargebolt, walking back to the center of the room with a hand on her chin. The average onlooker would think she was troubled by something, but you knew that look to be one of calculation. A pit formed in your stomach as you realized she was planning something. 

“Well?” Bakugou demanded, his full force directed at Gia. He stepped closer to her, not enough to be in her personal space, but enough that she had to look up to meet his gaze. “Stop the scheming and give me an answer. I don’t have all day.”

Your eyebrows raised and so did hers, shocked at being caught. She swallowed, attempting to clear her throat before answering. “Chargebolt is in perfectly fine condition right now, and so is Red Riot.”

“Then what are you still doing here?” He pointed back to you. “She can obviously handle things by herself.”

“But if something happened unexpectedly-”

“I’m sure could also handle it because that’s literally her job. Just like it’s your job to work somewhere else. I don’t get what’s so confusing about this.”

Gia was the first to break eye contact, glancing down to the side. You almost felt bad for her. Being on the receiving end of Bakugou’s bluntness looked like an absolute nightmare. Then again, with the number of times she had made your life miserable, you mainly felt a sense of second-hand victory.

“We can continue this conversation elsewhere,” she said, turning to Dr. Hiyashi. While she couldn’t bring herself to admit defeat, she did exit the room as fast as she could, not even sparing you a glance as you left. Your gaze landed on Bakugou, who had a smirk plastered on his face as he watched her leave.

Dr. Hiyashi coughed into his hand, drawing the attention back on him. “While I might agree with the sentiments you spoke out about, I must ask you to refrain from speaking to any staff under my care in that manner again.”

You thought Bakugou might try to pick a fight with him as well, but it seemed as though even he could put on a filter when necessary. He gave a quick bow of his head in apology to the man. “I understand, Doc. As long as she doesn’t come in here and try to start running things again, we won’t have a problem.”

‘So close,’ you thought, watching Dr. Hiyashi’s shoulders sag. He rubbed his temple, pushing up the hair on his forehead. You swore you heard the words “it’s too early for this” mumbled from his lips. Nonetheless, he turned to face you, holding out a clipboard.

“We’re still doing some blood work on them, but for right now, things continue to remain the same. We’re also still trying to determine the exact composition of the toxins flowing through their system. I’ll let you know when more results come back. For now, you’ve been doing a good job at keeping things stable.”

You nodded, and he left as well, eager to be out of the room. Now only you and Bakugou remained. Despite the tap of his foot, he did seem to relax a little once it was just the two of you. His shoulders loosened, and he stretched his arms high above his head before wandering over to the side of both of his friends’ beds, inspecting their faces closely before sitting on the couch.

“Thank you.”

You broke the silence with a low bow to the man on the couch. It was perhaps a little humiliating, but after the stunt he just pulled against Gia, you thought it might be okay to stroke his ego, just this once.

He grinned in response. “Believe me when I say that it was my pleasure. She seemed like a pain, and I definitely would rather deal with you over her.”

“Of course…” you trailed off. You’re not sure whether to be flattered by the statement.

To take your mind off of the enigma that was Bakugou, you look down at the clipboard in your hands. The blood tests that had come back already showed no other symptoms or new areas of concern, which you considered a win. However, the toxin seemed to keep them in this comatose state, with no progress made toward uncovering its nature or cure. You adjusted the IVs according to the doctor’s notes, in hopes of flushing out the toxins from Chargebolt’s body.

You had zoned in on your work, focusing only on Chargebolt and momentarily forgetting the other person in the room. However, as you turned away from your patient’s bed, you were met with Bakugou’s garnet gaze, focused completely on you as you worked. You cleared your throat, suddenly feeling slightly nervous, and he seemed to snap out of whatever thoughts he was buried in.

“Do you eat lunch here?”

The question threw you off guard, and you scrambled for the right words. “Like, as in here here? No. But as in the hospital here? Most of the time, although I didn’t have enough time to make a lunch last night, so I’ll have to stop by a convenience store.”

He squinted his eyes, appearing to weigh the options of his next words in his head. “Don’t.”

“Huh?” you asked intelligently. “I need to eat, Bakugou.”

He rolled his eyes. “I know that. Eat with me, dumbass. It’s my turn anyways.”

With that, he reached into his backpack, pulling out a bento wrapped in pale orange cloth. Your heart stuttered in your chest before beating with increasing intensity. He had cooked for you, again. And not only had he cooked for you, but now he wanted to eat with you too?

“What’s on the menu?” you joked, trying to take your mind off of the glaring implications of eating lunch with Bakugou.

He gave you a cutting smile in response. “You’ll just have to come back and see, but I promise it’ll be the best damn thing you ever ate.”

His words were extremely cocky, but you couldn’t help but believe him. They rattled around in your mind for the rest of your shift like loose coins in a dryer, incessant words that resurfaced right when you were beginning to think you were over them. Of course, it didn’t help that you had told Hina about the whole interaction, and she now shot you suggestive eyebrow raises and winks every time you looked in her direction.

Just as your luck would have it, you were incredibly busy. You counted down as the minutes ticked by, first in anticipation, and then in dread once your lunch break hit but you were still on your feet. You tried to finish your tasks as quickly as you could, but between chatty patients and an influx of visitors, you bitterly watched your lunch break slip away until a meager 15 minutes remained.

You all but sprinted to the special wing of the hospital in the time you had left, needing a moment to compose yourself before entering room 3307. Bakugou was right where you left him, leaning forward on his elbows and lost in thought as he examined a mess of papers he had spread out on the coffee table. Upon your entrance, he looked up, his trance broken. He flashed a grin before beginning to shove the papers into a manila folder.

“Almost thought you ditched me,” he said, motioning you to sit in the chair closest to him.

You complied, fighting the urge to wring your hands. “I got caught up in my shift, unfortunately. It felt like everyone had something to say to me today, which isn’t awful, but you know, definitely puts me behind. I’m sorry to make you wait.”

He shrugged, passing you the pale orange bento box before fishing around in his backpack. After a second of digging, he was successful, pulling out a sage green bento with small, smiling hand grenades decorating the fabric. He flinched as you couldn’t contain the laugh bubbling from your throat at the sight.

“It was a gag gift from Shitty Hair over there, after he noticed I kept bringing my lunches wrapped up in that orange one. Said it was ‘manly’ or some shit.”

He rolled his eyes as he said it, but you noticed that once unwrapped, he folded the fabric into a neat square before setting it beside him, away from the food. His gaze turned to you, and you realized he was waiting for you to open the box still clasped in your hands. You unwrapped it with care. Taking in a deep breath, a broad smile crossed your face as you hummed in satisfaction.

Neatly cut and almost professionally presented in the bento was the best looking tonkatsu you had ever seen. The pork cutlet was fried to perfection, with small flecks of red in the otherwise golden batter denoting a hint of something spicy. Next to it was a bed of shredded cabbage with thinly sliced pickles on top. On the second layer, furikake rice took up the majority of the space, with blanched greens and a sliced tomato occupying the left corner in lieu of the traditional miso.

You licked your lips in anticipation, muttering a quick blessing of thanks before eagerly picking up your chopsticks. You loved the taste of fried food, but you hated the act of actually frying it. That’s part of the reason you were so impressed with the tonkatsu. Then again, with a quirk that literally creates explosions, you supposed a little hot oil wouldn’t be an issue. The other reason you were so impressed with the tonkatsu, was because, well -

“This is amazing,” you mumbled, mouth full of food.

“I told you it would be the best.” Bakugou preened at your compliment, almost glaring at you accusingly for your lack of faith. 

You held your hands up in mock surrender. “And I believed you! I had my doubts from the curry, but ever since the mapo tofu and now this, I have full faith in your cooking.”

At that, he let out a small choke, swallowing his rice hastily before replying, “Hey, what’s wrong with my curry?”

“You know what’s wrong with your curry!” you stressed. “It was too spicy. Plus, you used squash, which is a questionable choice to be sure.”

“What, you can’t eat your veggies?” he mocked.

You gave him an unimpressed look, making a show of shoveling the largest bite of cabbage and pickles you could get into your mouth. You chewed without breaking eye contact, smiling as you swallowed. “No, I like almost all vegetables, thank you very much. Just not squash.”

Your mind began to wander, the talk of vegetables reminding you of the myriad of plant life you have back at your apartment, courtesy of Shiozaki. “I’ve been experimenting with some different spices lately too. Ever since I moved, I have an abundance of them at my disposal.”

“You’re new here?”

“Moved to the city for my rotationals, although I hope to end up here one day. It’s definitely been a big change though.” You trailed off as you thought about your time in the city, with all of its challenges so far.

“I hope I can make it,” you murmured, more to yourself than to Bakugou, but he heard you easily in the otherwise silent room. 

“Aren’t you making it right now?” He gave you a quizzical look, and you averted your eyes before responding.

“Yes, but I’m still in school right now. It’s all structured. Once I graduate, I’ll be out on my own, and I’ll need to figure out a job, and friends, and my life, and-”

“And you will.”

You looked up at him, surprised by the finality in his tone. At your worry, he had tensed up once again, leaning forward on his elbows towards you with his eyebrows furrowed. You thought he would have joked about your rambling, but the glint in his eye was nothing but sincere.

“And how can you be so confident about that, hm?” You tried to draw out your question, make it sound more like a joke, but the words fell flat. You smiled, but you were certain that the underlying current of uncertainty made it look more like a grimace. 

“Because it’s true, if you have enough guts.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, hoping for more of an explanation than simply “guts,” but the tinny boom of a thousand tiny explosions rang throughout the room as his cellphone went off. You hid your laugh behind your hand as he answered. He seemed deeply pissed to be disturbed by whoever was on the other line, but surprisingly obedient. After what you would consider minimal grousing on his part, he ended the call, sighing as he began to pack up his backpack.

“Sorry, but the boss called. I have to go in for an emergency meeting,” he grumbled. He was frowning as he said it, and it almost seemed like he wanted to stay a little bit longer due to his slow movements.  He reached for your bento box out of instinct, but you leaned away, clutching the empty box to your chest.

“It’s my turn to cook now,” you grinned, shaking your head and holding the box as far away from him as you could.

He could have easily gotten it from you, but he quickly gave up, zipping up his backpack instead. “I guess it is. Better make me something good.”

You scoffed, gaining the courage to tease. “Don’t I always?”

At this, he fully laughed. “Yeah, you do.”

You beamed at the compliment, and Bakugou quickly looked away, fiddling with the straps of his backpack before standing up in a rush.

You thought nothing of it, walking with him out of the room and down the twisting hallways until you arrived at the entrance of the ICU wing. After giving one more heartfelt thanks for the meal, you watched him leave before returning to your regular duties, feeling time tick by just a little bit slower.

The rest of your afternoon was excruciatingly painful, not because you injured yourself, but because you were stuck behind the desk of the visitor’s check-in due to a nurse calling in sick last-minute. It wasn’t that you necessarily hated visitors. Most of them were just concerned family members, and you couldn’t fault them if they were a little weepy or frazzled. However, it seemed as though the majority of visits had occurred in the morning, and the waiting room was left unnaturally empty.

While the quiet was welcome, it was rather boring after a while, so you began to busy yourself with updating patient files within the system. It wasn’t the most fun work, and it was normally handed off to an intern or other assistant, but it was better than sitting there doing nothing. You had finally gotten into the flow when a soft cough sounded above you, ripping your focus away from the screen. 

You looked up, coming face-to-face with a humongous bouquet, all different varieties of flowers but all in some shade of vibrant red. The arrangement was beautiful, but it was so large that the person holding it was completely lost behind the florals.

“How can I help you?” you asked.

The flowers rustled before a timid voice spoke from behind them. You had to lean forward in order to even hear it. “Uh, I’m here to see Red Riot, if I can?”

Your shoulders dropped at the comment, happy that your exasperated expression was obscured by the gift. The agencies of both Red Riot and Chargebolt had released an official statement telling the public that all gifts for the heroes should be directed to them for both safety and privacy reasons. However, it seemed like this fan didn’t seem to get the memo. You were mildly surprised that they had even narrowed it down to your wing of the hospital specifically, but you figured that if the ravenous news reporters could figure it out, a devoted fan could as well.

Nonetheless, you pasted on your best customer service face before answering. “I’m sorry! As officially announced by the Fatgum Agency, you need to direct all cards and gifts to them instead of us. I cannot accept this.”

The vase shook with more agitation, and a couple of lily petals scattered to the ground in the disturbance. “Oh, uh, you don’t understand! I’m not a fan of Kiri’s. I mean, I am a fan, but not just a fan. Um, I’m here to see how he’s doing and to drop this off on behalf of the Fatgum agency.”

After a moment of hesitation, during which more petals were dislodged, the vase was quickly set on the ground out of your view. The stranger stood up to properly introduce himself, but you were already gaping at him, heat rising to your cheeks in embarrassment. You were an idiot, a complete and utter idiot. You resisted the incredible urge to bang your head on the desk in front of you in frustration. How many times had you heard that voice before? Only every other lunch break. Hina would never let you hear the end of this.

Standing before you, hands fiddling with the strings of his indigo hoodie, was none other than the Number 12 Pro-Hero Suneater.

“Of-of course. I’m so sorry about the confusion.” This time it was your turn to trip over words.

“No, no it’s really my bad. I should have introduced myself properly. I’m sure you’ve gotten some excited fans already. Sorry,” he replied, looking down at the floor.

You wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault at all, and that you were the one who was in the wrong, but you knew the conversation would go on interminably. Previous interviews proved that to be the case. Instead, you shook your head, your air of customer service being replaced by a genuine smile.

“While I’d like to disagree with you about that, let’s just say it’s both of our faults and call it a truce, okay?”

He nodded in approval, giving up as you continued your spiel. “For protocol, do you have a valid form of identification on you? I just need to see it before you can go back and see Red Riot.”

His eyes widened in surprise, as though he had forgotten about this step. He began to rummage through his pockets, muttering apologies as he did so. You brushed them off with a chuckle, watching as he dug through the pockets of his pants, hoodie, and finally the jean jacket he was wearing on top if it. You had to admit, he might not have been your type on page, but in-person, he was pretty cute. Hina had a point.

‘Hina-’ you mused. ‘What she wouldn’t give to be here right now…’

“Here you go,” Suneater said, breaking your train of thought by finally producing his license to you. You took it from him quickly, looking at both sides just to be safe before returning it. Of course it was the real thing, because of course, this was the real Suneater before you. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

You stood up from your chair, walking over to the intercom on the wall. You coughed once, clearing your voice before pressing the button.

“Nurse Hina, please come to the visitor’s desk. Repeat: Nurse Hina, please come to the visitor’s desk. Special request. Over.”

You returned to your seat before glancing up at Suneater, who seemed rather alarmed by your actions. You tried to don a mask of cool professionalism, but you’re pretty sure the corner of your mouth twitched upward as you began to explain the situation to him.

“Nurse Hina has been placed with the specific task of caring for Red Riot during his stay. Both he and Chargebolt are being kept in a special access wing, so she will escort you to their room.”

Suneater relaxed at this statement, not noticing how your eyes sparkled with mischief. Sure, you had access to the same wing that Hina did, and yes, you were currently on duty for visitor requests specifically, but Suneater didn’t know that. If things went according to plan, he never would.

The sound of footsteps were rapidly approaching behind you, and you turned in your chair to see a flustered Hina.

“What’s happened? What’s wrong?” she gasped out.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice, Nurse Hina. A special request has come in to visit Red Riot, and as the presiding nurse in charge of his care, you will be escorting this visitor there.”

Hina looked at you with complete and utter confusion, and you silently begged her to play along. Your eyes darted back and forth to the visitor area where Suneater stood, and she had the good sense to follow your gaze before saying anything first.

You knew the exact moment she registered who was behind the window. Her spine instantly straightened, and her eyes grew wide until the whites were clearly visible. You subtly bumped her shoulder as you passed her to open the door, attempting to break her out of her stupor. It worked, and she followed you out of the door to properly greet Suneater, although she still looked like she was in a daze.

“Nurse Hina, this is Suneater. He’s come on behalf of the Fatgum agency to deliver this bouquet and to check on Red Riot. Suneater, this is Nurse Hina. She will be taking you to Red Riot’s room, and she is here to answer any questions you might have about him.”

The two bowed politely to each other, muttering basic formalities before Suneater bent over to pick up the absurdly large bouquet of flowers once again. He nearly dropped the vase a couple of times, clearly preoccupied as his gaze remained fixated on Hina instead of the object in his hands. He eventually used his quirk to provide extra stability so he could hold the flowers with one hand against his hip while still keeping his face uncovered. You swore Hina squeaked when she saw the tentacles come out.

At this point, it felt as though both people had completely forgotten your presence, but it didn’t bother you in the slightest. You watched the scene unfolding in front of you with unbridled glee.

“The flowers are beautiful. I’m sure he’ll love them once he wakes up,” Hina commented as she held the door open for him. You slipped in after them, going back to the desk as they continued down the hallway.

“I’m glad you think so. Fatgum made me pick them out. I don’t have much experience with doing that type of thing, but I know he likes the color red, and so I just chose some that seemed to work together,” Suneater mumbled, but Hina had caught every word he said.

She nodded enthusiastically. “And they do! I especially love the tiger lilies. They’re my favorite.”

Suneater latched on to the statement, giving her the first genuine smile you had seen from him all day. “Oh really? Mine too!”

Their voices faded as they walked down the hallway, and you squealed the second you were sure they were out of earshot. You didn’t hear from Hina for the rest of your shift, but if anything, you took that as an extremely good sign. The rest of the afternoon was uneventful in comparison, but it hardly mattered.

All you could think about was that, without a doubt, this was the most eventful day of your life. That, and you were officially the best friend ever in the whole entire world.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading this chapter! It was supposed to be a short one, but it ended up being the longest yet. Since it ended up so long and I traveled for the holiday season, I am unfortunately pushing the release of chapter 5 back to Dec. 8th (unless I miraculously write it in like 4 days). Sorry about that! I'm hoping that the extra time will be able to give me back the buffer I had built up before. Thanks so much for your understanding!

As always, reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated, but please do not repost here or on other platforms. However, fan arts, edits, or anything like that are beyond amazing and totally welcome! If you have a question about it, just ask me.

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[fatguarddog]

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You happen upon a mysterious diner full of delicious smells and your server is so happy to help you get comfortable enough that you'll never want to leave 😈 Sorry if my southern accent is bad, it just felt right when I was writing 😂

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Transcript under cut

Hey there stranger! Welcome to The Devil’s Diner where our entire menu is sinfully delicious, follow me and I’ll get you to a nice comfy booth. Oh yes, it does smell amazing in here, doesn’t it? If you take a look around you’ll see all our other customers chowing down real happy on their second or third plate of food, we’ve no doubt you’ll want seconds too! You have a look at that menu and I’ll be right back over, but first off lemme pour you out a niiiiice, thick chocolate shake on the house. You look like you’re in need of a lil treat and you’ll find plenty here. [fade out]

Ready to order? Yeah I figured you’d want the pancakes so I just brought you a stack anyway. You thought it was a stack of 3? Oh hun, you may need your eyes checked if you didn’t catch that zero! Now you’ve got plenty of syrup, butter, bacon, berries, pulled pork and ice cream on the side to pile on however you’d like. I can also bring you some melted chocolate, fried chicken or really anything else you wanna add to your stack, but don’t lemme keep you from eating! Dig in now! [fade out]

Here’s a top up to your shake, hun. Oh you polished off your pancakes real good! You want seconds? Course you do! Well good thing I have a burger here with your name on it! Two patties, melted cheese, more bacon, pickles, lettuce, crunchy onions and a side of dirty fries too. Perfect after all those pancakes don’t you think? I can tell you’re still hungry just looking at ya. Look at your greedy little hands already picking that burger up… funny how you haven’t even noticed yet, just how dumb and fat you’ve gotten. I mean if you can move that newly thickened neck around, you’d notice how much bigger everyone else has gotten since you came in. And now you. Your belly is starting to push against the table, hun, I can still see it growing. Your thighs and ass have plumped up and become just as cushiony as the booth you’re weighing down into, so plush and wide, the seams of your pants are barely holding on. Your chest has gotten so big and heavy too, I mean that shirt is basically a crop top now with how puffy you are. Man, I just wanna reach out and grope those big juicy melons… you do look like you’re gonna need a hand with them… well, if you ever wanna get up again.

See gluttons like you always find their way here eventually, into our demonic lil diner. You like my horns, hun? Oh who am I kidding… you’re not even paying attention to me, you’re just stuffing your fat face aren’t ya? You were always meant to be here, with all these other fatties. I love eager dummies like you who put away 30 pancakes like it’s nothing and still want more… let me top your shake up again. You don’t need to worry your pretty lil head about a thing no more. We’re gonna make sure your stay here is nice and comfortable and you’ve always got something to gorge yourself on. You’re looking nice and fat now, but don’t you doubt it, hun. You’re gonna be enormous.

[focsle]

what's the best way to serve whale?

am hungee

Can’t attest—I have not eaten whale.

Muktuk is a traditional Inuit food. It’s skin and blubber usually from bowheads (but also beluga and narwhal) that’s diced small and often eaten raw. It can also be prepared in other ways like frying or pickling. Very high in Vitamin D & C.

Turning to my 19th c. American whalers, it being my schtick and all, they tended to not be particularly interested in eating whale. Nor were whales hunted for meat. But sometimes the odd recipe comes out here and there. John Martin, whaler on the Lucy Ann, 1840s talked about ‘roasting the top of a whale’s head’ that they were otherwise processing.

“The top of a right whale’s head is covered with barnacles & small crabs. When roasted they are good eating. They also take part of his lip and render it out in the hot oil. When eaten with pepper & vinegar it tastes very much like soused tripe.”

Mary Lawrence, whaling wife on the Addison, 1850s also mentioned eating whale up North:

“We have been eating bowhead meat for several days, made with pork into sausage cakes, also fried, and it is really good eating, far before salt pork in my estimation.”

J.E. Haviland, greenhand on the Baltic 1850s shared a similar recipe for porpoise, which is similar enough.

“We had it for Breakfast this morning. The way it is prepared at sea is to take + hash it up very fine seasoned with sage pepper + salt and then made in small balls + fried or baked in pork + I can say from experience it is proper good.”

William Tripp, boatsteerer on the John R. Manta, 1920s,

“The meat was cooked as steaks, while some was ground and made into 'whalemeat balls.' It was eaten by all hands and much relished as the first frest meat since leaving port."

John Ross Browne, writer on an unnamed whaler in the 1840s, talked about snacks whilst trying out. In addition to frying saltwater-soaked sea biscuits and celebratory donuts in the whale oil, sometimes whalers would eat the leftover ‘cracklings’, i.e. crispy bits of whale skin left over after the process, as well as:

“Sometimes, when on friendly terms with the steward, they make fritters of the brains of the whale mixed with flour, and cook them in the oil. These are considered a most sumptuous delicacy. Certain portions of the whale's flesh are also eaten with relish, though, to my thinking, not a very great luxury, being coarse and strong. Mixed with potatoes, however, like " porpoise balls," they answer very well for variety. A good appetite makes almost any kind of food palatable. I have eaten whale-flesh at sea with as much relish as I ever ate roast-beef ashore.”

Not everyone’s into it, though. When John Langdon and other crew members aboard the St. Peter, 1840s, came to air grievances about the captain expecting them to be content with eating spoiled beef, the captain,

“rowse[d] up a little telling us how he had lived on whale and blackfish meat for a time on the Nor’west; but this would not go down with us and we demanded state’s allowance. He saw we were in good earnest so after while concluded to give us good beef.”

And lastly, from Moby-Dick, Stubb’s preferred method of cooking whale steak which he berated the cook with:

“Hold the steak in one hand, and show a live coal to it with the other; that done, dish it; d’ye hear?”

[recurring-polynya]

Izakaya Kamenoya, Part 4

All right, it is time for the final article in my series on Izakaya Kamenoya, the bar all the shinigami drink at in filler episodes! Today, I will be making a valiant attempt to identify what kind of food items are available! Bleach is rather famous for portraying food as blobby lumps, so wish me luck!!

The history of izakaya is pretty interesting, but they basically evolved out of sake shops that started serving food to attract customers and also to entice them to hang out (and keep spending money). They tend to serve small plates, which are shared. This can span a really wide range, though, from just a few basic bar snacks, up to a fancy restaurant. Izakaya Kamenoya tends towards the more full-service. According to the article I linked above, people didn't do a lot of cooking at home in the Edo era--they cooked rice at home and purchased pickles and other simmered goods to top it with. This fits right into the Seireitei to me--shinigami have demanding jobs and disposable income (at least moreso than Rukongai folks), so they love to eat out.

Check out this Ladies' Night Spread, for example:

That looks like two big platters of sashimi in the middle to me, and that's clearly tamagoyaki (rolled omelet) on the far right.

The episode very kindly gave us this close-up of Assorted Meat Skewers.

I am not quite sure what the brown slabs served over lettuce are...tonkatsu (breaded pork cutlets), perhaps?

In this shot you can also see some little fish. This looks similar to a picture I found of eihire (grilled stingray fins, served with mayonnaise), so I am assuming this is a something similar.

Boys' Night Out is going to be less fancy, because the boys in question are broke, but it's generally the same stuff-- sashimi, tamagoyaki, skewers, BUT they also have this cool table-top grill! It's called a shichirin, apparently, and is often used to grill yakitori, which it looks like exactly what they're doing. I feel strongly that this is a thing Iba is super into. Like, you go out drinking with Iba, you know he's getting the shichirin. The fact that shichirin translates to "seven wheels", cements this even harder into my heart: it is both grilling (manly!) and a reference to Squad Seven, what is not to love?

How about captains? Ukitake and Kyouraku seem like a pair of guys who enjoy a good meal.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT FISH.

So. Um. Well, it looked to me like it was a fish that had been made into sashimi and then the sashimi was sort of arranged over the skeleton of the fish, with the head in tact (If you are not able to tell how I was able to discern that from this potato-quality screenshot, it's fine, I'm not so sure either). Anyway, I looked that up to see if it was a thing and it sure is! It's called ikizukuri and you do it while the fish is still alive. Today, it's a controversial practice, but Soul Society be Soul Societin'!

In less upsetting news, it looks like they each have a little cup of chawanmushi (egg custard with savory mix-ins, like mushrooms or shrimp). Also, lots of skewers and bowl of colors (pickles maybe?)

I also have this shot from Kyouraku and Amagai's first venture, but I can't tell what anything is:

Clearly a less impressive spread, but they only just got there, so maybe there's more to come. Croquettes in the middle perhaps? I would guess that those little square cups are matcha pudding but Kyouraku hates matcha. The smaller plate kinda looks like more skewers, but it also seems to small to be skewers.

Moving on the other end of the price scale, what does the Extra Value Menu at Kamenoya look like? I'm sure Hisagi and Kira know!

The anime did not give much help here. It looks like they have more of those ?tonkatsu?. Kira's got a plate of...sliced cucumbers maybe? The beige lump in the middle has some colored specks in it, so I'm guessing a fried rice of some sort.

As a final note, I love these little blue cups of orange bulbs that Kira's emotional support team is enjoying here (also more tamagoyaki). They seem like they should be easily identifiable, but they don't look like anything in the two dozen "things to eat at an izakaya" articles I read for this. Is it a fruit? Is it chestnuts? If you have an idea (or you can identify anything else that I couldn't) please let me know!

earlier posts in this series: (part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

[echo-goes-mmm]

Ambrose and Elliot #20

Masterpost

Previous

Next

Warnings: briefly mentioned past torture

Ambrose said snow would be falling soon, and Elliot was terrified. The weather was colder here than his old master’s land. The wood floors wouldn’t be so bad when winter came, but snow was snow and snow was deadly.

Once, his old master had thrown him outside as a punishment. He nearly died from the cold and ice, and had to beg until he passed out to be let back in. The doctor said it was a miracle of the gods he hadn’t lost any fingers or toes. 

Elliot had more clothes than he’d ever had in his life now, but would it be enough?

He had two blankets, woolen socks, gloves and mittens, a great big coat, everything. But the fluttering hollow of anxiety inside him wasn’t satisfied. 

He got up early, before dawn, to sneak wood into his room. Ambrose didn’t come in often, so he hopefully wouldn’t notice the pile of extra wood in the corner.

What else would he need? 

Elliot remembered the tiny closet his old master locked him in. It was the best place to be in that horrible house when snow fell. It warmed him up because it was so little and stuffy. Ambrose didn’t have a closet that was both big enough for him to sit in and small enough to trap heat.

Elliot stole a blanket from the linen closet and lined his wardrobe with it. If it got cold enough, he could hide from winter inside it.

He began to squirrel away food and water under his bed. It was bad of him, but he needed it. He couldn’t take another winter hungry and freezing. Elliot had gotten two glass jugs and filled them with water. He also wrapped up some smoked and salted pork Ambrose had stored away downstairs. He tucked several apples into a small sack, and stole a jar of pickled veggies and a tin of nuts from the storeroom. Master Ambrose had made dozens of jars and had been smoking and salting meat for ages. He wouldn’t notice anything wrong. 

___________________

Elliot thought he was being sneaky, but Ambrose knew something was off right away. It just took him a few days to figure it out. 

He was going to use those two jugs to make mead, but oh well. Elliot’s little stash was all shelf-stable, so he wasn’t going to discourage him. 

The wood wasn’t a problem either. In all honesty, Ambrose probably should do the same thing. It would save him a lot of trips outside.

Ambrose didn’t have to wonder for long why Elliot was so twitchy lately. He kept glancing out the window at the sky, poking around in the fireplaces, making hot drinks and steaming meals.

He didn’t want to think about why Elliot was so scared of the cold. Ambrose was certain it stemmed from something horrible. Elliot’s quirks were almost always some coping mechanism to avoid pain.

Ambrose didn’t know how cold it would get this year. But Elliot would be fine, even without his secret cache of food. He wasn’t going to try and talk him out of his fear, it didn’t work like that. Winter would always have some level of danger, so there was no use reasoning with him. Ambrose could only hope Elliot would relax when he realized he would be alright.

___________________

The snow fell down gently, in large flakes. It was pretty, but the bubbling anxiety in his chest kept him from watching for long. He got through his chores as quickly as possible and retreated to his bedroom.

He closed the curtains. He didn’t want to see the proof of winter looming outside. The room was warm and toasty and he was content to curl up and wait. If he had to spend all season in here, then so be it.

“Sweetheart,” called Master from behind the door, “I made some hot chocolate. I’m going to toast some marshmallows downstairs. You can join me if you want.”

Hm. That did sound pretty nice. He pulled a blanket over his shoulders and peeked out into the hall. It didn’t seem cold. 

He made his way downstairs, and there was a roaring fire in the dining room fireplace. Ambrose waved at him from a chair sat in front of the fire. He felt a little more settled, and he eyed the steaming mugs of hot chocolate and the tray of cheese and crackers. 

Ambrose was, in fact, toasting marshmallows. He ate one right off the stick, and Elliot found himself smiling as he went to sit next to him.

Ambrose handed him a prepared stick with a marshmallow on it. It was fun to toast them, and Ambrose showed him he could plop one into his mug and it would get all melt-y.

It was pretty hard to remember how scared he was when they were eating snacks and sipping on sweet drinks all afternoon. 

Maybe winter wouldn't be so bad this year.

taglist: @cupcakes-and-pain @secretwhumplair @paintedpigeon1 @whump-blog @whump-em @thingsthatgowhumpinthenight @starfields08000 @littlespacecastle @mylovelyme @whump-cravings @zeewbee @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @keepingwhumpwiththekardashians @fanastyfinder @roblingoblin285 @whumpzone

[fox-bright]

Watching the H5N1 stuff get worse and worse--I'm hoping we have until late next year before it goes reliably human-human, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was this winter--and not being able to do much makes me anxious, so I've been composing lists of stuff to do. I keep thinking, if this were August, 2019, and I knew covid was coming, what would I prepare? If this one goes off like the scientists think it might, it'll be much worse than covid.

Right now, I'm concentrating on food. My plan is to have enough hunker down supplies by mid-September that if things go bad in the normally-scheduled October-February flu season, we'll be okay simply not leaving the house at all. There are only two of us here now, and if things go bad there may be as many as four (as I have two separate friends I'd push hard to come stay here with us), so I need to make sure we have 4 meals x howevermany days I choose. I'm building up to six months, but I'm beginning the plan at three. While a lot of Serious Prepper lists have pretty generous caloric allowances, the MFH and I eat pretty light, and we're both smaller than the average adult human, which does give us even more squeak room here.

We started out with dry staples--bread flour, AP flour, semolina, rice, beans, pasta, lentils, powdered milk--though I have still to get powdered eggs (I'll dehydrate those myself), more dry beans (I'm going to use up a lot of what we have when I do my canning run for the winter, and so far I haven't been able to get my hands on kidney beans in any decent amounts), quinoa, and one more kind of pasta. Right now we have about 2/3 of what I'd want; we'll be holding things at this level, replacing staples as we use them, and if things look more serious we'll do another big shop and give ourselves additional stock of the AP flour, the bread flour, the rice (which we already buy in 40-50 lb bags anyway, we're Asian), the dry milk.

Then there's the perishable stuff; yesterday, the MFH and I took advantage of some very nice sales and got seventy pounds of meat for two hundred and twelve dollars. Beef brisket for stew, pork butt for sweet molasses chili, ground beef for hotter chili, pork loin for white bean soup. Still have to get chicken (which was pretty much sold out at our bulk place) for chicken soup (to be pressure canned), chicken and mushroom cream soup (to be vacuum-packed and frozen).

Very very soon it'll be time to harvest my leeks and my butternut squashes, for leek and potato soup (either finished with cream, blended to a smooth-ish consistency and frozen, or *not* blended down, and just socked away in pressure-canned Ball jars without the cream added; will it take me longer to thaw it, or to take my immersion blender to the hot individual meals later on?) and canned butternut for baking with or making soup or chili or making pasta sauce.

I might can a bunch of just potatoes, too, to keep 'em shelf stable (plus that front-loads a lot of the work of producing a meal later).

So I need to buy onions and carrots and potatoes and celery and garlic and mushrooms and corn, cream, red wine, tomato paste (because my vines got blight this year, sigh--I've managed to can one single run of tomato sauce and that's IT), ten dozen fresh eggs to dehydrate and powder and store in the fridge in case of egg shortages, several pounds of beans to be thrown into the chilis and...hm...fifteen pounds more, twenty pounds more, to have on hand? And then for non-canning purposes we'll need butter, oil, white vinegar (I've used a lot of it for pickles this year), various Asian food staples like black and rice vinegars, oyster sauce, black mushrooms and so on. As for pre-made, mass-produced foods, I'll probably make another post about them later.

While this is more than I'd generally stock in a single season, I do generally put about 100 quarts of home-canned food by a year, and I never keep less than 75-100lb of flour on hand anyway because of how frequently I make bread. So though it sounds like a lot up front, it's not hoarder level; everything I stock will be eaten, some of it pretty much immediately (the beef stew is so good). And putting it all by now means that we'll be less of a burden on our community safety net, if push comes to shove. When the covid pandemic hit I had dozens of jars of food on the shelf already, which gave me a little peace when things were looking scary. We were able to share some of our stores with people who hadn't had the great privilege of long afternoons spent seeing to the personal stores. That's a better option, to my mind, than needing to panic-shop right as things start getting a little wild.

Basically, if things go bad, we'll have food for a while. And if things don't go bad, we'll have food for a while. It's win-win. And it keeps the floor under my feet when I'm feeling unsteady, to be able to sneak down into the cool, still basement and look at row on row of gently gleaming jars of food security.

[council-of-beetroot]

I'm moving ro university soon, any easy and cheap recipe you could give me?

(I know you were probably hoping for hetalia anons but here you go anyways.)

Alright so here is my go to.

Kiełbasa z ziemniakami

You need for about 2 servings, I don't really measure so I apologize for that.

1/3 Kiełbasa (really you could use any sausage, I use turkey kiełbasa because I'm nationalistic when it comes to my sausage and it's turkey because I don't eat pork) My Nepali roommate uses Oscar meyer hotdogs cheese and rice if you want a cheaper version.

1-2 Potatoes

About 1/3 of an onion

Herbs and spices whatever you have on. (Today it's the kamis package of potato seasoning because that's all I have

Olive oil

Preheat oven to 200°

Chop up potatoes and onions and put onions aside. Mix potatoes in seasoning.

Cook these in oven for about 10 minutes. The Onions and the delectable polish schlongs will be added later

After those ten minutes put the onions in and then after ten minutes put in the sausage then cook for about 22 ish minutes depending on how you cut the potatoes.

Wait and get noticeably hangry to the point where your sister's presence and ramen making is really beginning to piss you off.

After the food is done then you can eat just like wait a few minutes because the oil is hot. If you want more vegetables serve with kapusta or pickled vegetables.

I am currently making this right now so I will take a picture when done!

Now for a dairy meals I usually go with premade pierogi or I will make spinach and cheese quesadillas.

I have an oven at my dorm so I'm sorry if you don't have a kitchen because fuck microwaves.

The spinach and cheese quesadillas are quicker and easier and probably could be made in a microwave.

[melissaabroad]

My friend asked me to post what I'd been eating while in Japan - while it admittedly has mostly been quick on the go stuff in between activities, here are a handful of meals from various restaurants I've been to.

The left photo was in the basement of Nakano Broadway. It was a little interesting - I had to choose my soup base from over 50 types of base soup packets and then they went to make the ramen based on which packet I picked. I hadn't experienced that yet.

The right photo was from a place that advertised itself as Pan-Asian (it seemed to mostly be southeast Asian and Indian based on the menu and decor). The dish was advertised as grilled chicken and jasmine rice, and the vegetables were pickled. It was in Jimbocho (the "bookstore town").

The bottom one was from an all you can eat Korean buffet in Shin-Okubo, including a lot of pork that we grilled ourselves.

[roselinbooks]

WIP Food Tag

Tagged by @willtheweaver, thank you!

Rules: Answer the food related questions provided here using the voice of your OCs. The yummier the descriptions, the better!

I have been thinking about the kinds of foods eaten by cultures in the Stellar Eclipse series more lately, specifically since some of the cultures in that world have diets that are fully plant-based or don't use fire for cooking, beyond my previously limited ideas around raw meals. Going to try to develop that more here but take it with a grain of salt, pun intended!

What is one comfort food that'll change your whole mood for the day?

Eureka: Authentic sun-dried trout and herbs is something that I haven't had in a long time...I've tried to replicate it at home but it isn't quite the same. It always comes out a little saltier here, probably because we live so close to the ocean. As much as I'd like to taste it again, I'm not sure how I would feel if I was completely successful. As-is, it reminds me of my childhood and happy memories from my village and foster parents.

What is an experience, good or bad, that has turned you off or on to a food completely?

Baltan: I can't stand anything that's gummy or chewy since my last extended stay in a hospital.

If you could eliminate one piece of produce, meat, dairy, or sweets off the earth, what would it be?

Baltan: I understand why gelatin is useful in a hospital, but fuck gelatin.

Lleuwellyn: Soft drinks, just to see what Baltan would do.

Azzie: (after struggling for some time to remember the word not for pickles, but the thing that makes pickles taste Like That) Vinegar.

Eureka: Nothing! There are no bad ingredients, only bad cooks. But if I absolutely had to...probably potatoes.

Dessert is normally saved for last, but if you could, what would you order for your entree at a restaurant?

Lleuwellyn: A fruit tart would be fine, wouldn't it? That's healthy enough.

Baltan: If Eureka bakes it, I'll eat it for any meal. His chocolate cake is my favorite.

Azzie: Iced fruit cream!

Eureka: If you're craving sweets, I'm sure I could make a dinner that is sweet. There are plenty of cuts of meat that pair well with sweeter seasonings. Pork, white fish, mince...served with a fruit salad or chutney... (starts muttering recipe ideas)

What are some food fusions that should never be mixed?

Lleuwellyn: Pickled vegetables and soft drinks. Ask me how I know.

Azzie: (nodding in agreement)

Cooking is a life skill, so why haven't you started learning yet?

Lleuwellyn: I barely remember to eat.

Baltan: Eureka won't let me in the kitchen unless it's for basic things. And he is right for that.

Tagging: @abalonetea @byjillianmaria @indecentpause @theticklishpear @toboldlywrite and open tag!

[sapphic-luthor]

Answering your in tag question last week: it is indeed hotter than ass out here. Any fun summer recipes? I’m discovering that my meager little cookbook really only has nice hearty recipes that while tasty make cooking even more of a chore than I find it to be when it’s so hot out here. Hope you’re at least staying cool! -SMA

Oh man I hope you’re staying cool, I recommend a great many ice creams above all. But secondary to that, I do have some food ideas that I’ve been making a lot of recently that I’ll stick below the read more here :-)

I love a big huge enormous salad in the summer (and all year round tbh) and I think the best salads are about 50/50 made up of base greens vs. fun stuff. My personal faves are to start with a romaine or romaine/iceberg base and then add:

italian seasoned chicken breast

cherry tomatoes

little mozzarella balls

cooked orzo

sun dried tomatoes

croutons or crispy onions (ideally both)

thinly sliced red onion

dressing (personal fav is a vinaigrette made of lemon juice, balsamic, olive oil, salt & pepper, oregano, and chili flakes)

OR

soy sauce/ginger/white pepper marinated chicken

red cabbage

thinly sliced carrots

cucumber

red bell pepper

sesame seeds

scallions

fresh coriander

wonton strips (which you can airfry out of wonton wrappers in like 3 seconds)

dressing (best is a combo of sesame oil, garlic, soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, honey, and ginger)

Now if you’re not mad for salads, also nice in the summer is

A crumbled sausage + broccoli pasta (i like orecchiette); it doesn’t need to have a real sauce per sé, you can just season however you like and then throw a bit of pasta water, and parmesan in at the end and it’s lovely

Caprese with nice fresh mozzarella (best gotten from the cheese counter if possible). If you ever see san marzano tomatoes buy them immediately and make them into caprese

Veg-based sandwiches, I have a special love for a vegan one that’s got homemade cucumber sriracha hummus, tomatoes and baby spinach. It doesnt sound like much but if you get the hummus right it’s very cool + has a little kick and it’s lovely with nice bread!

Homemade greek gyros— I use this recipe every time and the marinade is actually life changing. Like sometimes I lie in bed and dream about this chicken and I am not even kidding

A pork + pineapple rice bowl, which basically consists of rice topped with; minced pork cooked with soy sauce and sesame oil, long strips of carrot and courgette cooked in a pan with salt + pepper til soft, pickled shallot or red onion (just left in a water/vinegar/sugar bath for 30min or so), and pieces of pineapple right out of the tin. There’s also a light soy/rice wine vinegar/honey sauce that can be thrown over the top— i think the friend i learned the recipe from got it from one of those meal delivery services so it’s likely online (or i can track it down from her for you if you’re interested!)

Hopefully some of those are of some interest to you!! I’ll live vicariously through you and your heat but I hope you stay comfortable and safe friend

[numinousmysteries]

Vanquish by Wisdom Hellish Wiles (8/9)

On AO3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

@today-in-fic

The sun was setting by the time Mulder and Scully made it back to Spartanburg. To avoid being spotted at the house, they parked the car on the next block over and walked the rest of the way. 

Hidden behind a thicket of bushes across the street they watched the house and waited.

Mulder could feel Scully’s fear radiating off her. And although he shared her anxiety—that their son would reject them or that something had happened to him along the way and they’d never see him again—it wouldn’t do them any good to both be too tightly wound to react. 

“We should’ve brought stakeout snacks,” he said. “Remember those disgusting pickle-flavored chips you used to get?”

That got a smile out of her. “Pickle Dilly,” she said. “And they weren’t disgusting, they were delicious. It was a shame we could only find them in the Midwest. It got to the point where I was secretly  hoping you’d pick a case in Iowa so I could get them. I remember your stakeout snack of choice to be much more repulsive.”

“Scully, pork rinds are a reliable source of protein”

“Along with excessive sodium, saturated fat, and a complete lack of  vitamins or minerals. I hope you’re not still eating that garbage,” she said.

He swallowed hard. “Well, I don’t have my in-house doctor in charge of my meals anymore. Maybe if she considered moving back in I’d be able to make better choices.”

Even in the dusk he could see her rolling her eyes. “Let’s talk about that after we figure out what’s going on here.”

“So you’re saying there’s a chance?” Mulder asked, lowering his head and leaning in closer toward her. 

She curled her lips inward and raised her eyebrows at him. He knew better than to push the issue right now, so he just smiled at her and gave her hand a squeeze.

The street they were watching was quiet, but was soon illuminated by the lights of a passing car.

“It’s stopping,” Scully whispered. They watched as the car turned off the road toward the house. 

“How are you feeling, Scully?” he asked. “You ready for this?”

She nodded. “I can handle it.” 

After they saw the car’s lights turn off and heard the front door of the house open and close, they slowly made their way out of the bushes and across the street. 

They had staked out serial killers and genetic mutants but realizing he was about to see his son terrified Mulder even more. His son. The tiny baby he last held only days after his birth was now a teenager. There was no way William would recognize Mulder, but would Mulder recognize his son? Or would he look like a stranger, any random kid he’d pass on the street without a second thought?

Walking ahead of Scully, he retraced his steps to the front door of the house. 

"How're you feeling?" he asked, turning back to her. 

She took a deep breath. "So far, so good."

This time they stormed inside both with guns drawn. The same man was in the study but this time he was joined by a woman they hadn’t seen in years—Monica Reyes. Scully was right. Reyes had betrayed them. There was no sign of William or the smoking man. 

"Where is he?" Mulder shouted.

"I've told you already—" the man started.

"Everything you told me was a lie. You've been working with Spender all along and I know you have my son."

"Mulder,” said Reyes. "We’re prepared to offer you a deal. In exchange for your son, we'll ensure that you both survive colonization.” 

"That's quite the offer," Mulder said. "Wipe out the entire planet and get to watch the world burn with the man who's hell bent on annihilating billions of innocent people. No fucking way."

"What we're offering you, both of you,” Reyes continued, nodding at Scully who kept her gun set on the heavyset man. "Is the chance to survive, alongside your son."

“Monica, how could you do this?” Scully said. “You helped me when William was a baby. You saw what we were up against. How could you join them?”

“Dana, as a doctor and a scientist you should understand. This is an opportunity to be a part of an incredible, conscious-altering journey. By making contact and cooperating with the colonizers, we have a chance to understand the greatest mysteries of the universe. And if you choose to join us, you’ll get to be with William.”

“Don’t you dare talk about our son!” Mulder shouted. “You need to tell us where he is now.” 

He turned to Scully who had put her gun down and was running her fingers along the spines of the books on one of the room's shelves.

"Scully, what're you doing?"

"He's in here."

Mulder turned to look at her while still trying to keep the heavy-set man and Reyes in his peripheral vision. Scully placed both her palms against the books and the shelf rotated open, revealing a room hidden inside. Mulder couldn't see inside from where he stood, but Scully gasped.

"Oh my god," she said. 

"Scully, what is it?"

She didn't turn to face him. He stepped backward trying to get closer to her vantage point while still being able to see the room's other occupants.

"William," she whispered.

"Talk to him if you'd like," the man said, startling both of them. "But he may be harder to convince than you'd hope."

The temptation to see his son was overwhelming and Mulder dropped his gun and joined Scully at the entranceway to the secret room hidden behind the bookshelf.

And there he was. Fifteen years since he'd last seen him and he knew immediately that the teenage boy in front of him was his son. He wore a black hoodie with the hood up but everything he saw was a pure combination of him and Scully. The boy was tall, probably taller than him,  but with Scully's blue eyes and fair complexion. He had Mulder’s angular jaw and nose.  William’s eyes reflected fear and anger and Mulder recognized the expression in himself. 

This isn’t how it should be, Mulder thought. They shouldn��t be reuniting with their son in this nondescript clapboard house in rural South Carolina. They shouldn’t be rescuing him from the men who’d been plotting against them for decades.

"Are you my real parents?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. 

"Oh William," Scully ran to him and wrapped her arms around William. Mulder was hesitant to approach, nervous of scaring off the boy who had gone through so much already in one day.

 "It's us, William," Scully said.

William still seemed tense and he didn't move to touch Scully as she stepped back from their embrace. 

“I know you,” William said, facing Mulder. “I had dreams about you. We’re on the beach—”

“Building sand castles?” Mulder asked.

William stared at him, puzzled.

“I had those dreams, too,” said Mulder. “Even before you were born. I always knew it was you.”

“How?”

Mulder smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know. There’s a chance my exposure to an extraterrestrial virus allowed me to access another level of consciousness but I’d like to believe it’s just because I’m your father and—” 

He paused. “And I love you.”

It was the first time he’s said the words to his son since he left him. He meant those words, he was more sure of them than his own name or the fact that he stood in this room. 

“I–” William started.

“It’s okay,” Mulder interrupted. “You don’t have to say anything. I know you have parents who raised you most of your life, but I need you to know that I love you and I always have. And your mother loves you more than anything in the world.”

Mulder looked to Scully but she was silent, taking in the sight of her son. 

“Are you alright?” Mulder asked William. “We need to get you out of here.” 

"No," William shook his head. "I have to stay here. My grandfather needs me to save the world."

"That's true," a familiar voice said coming from behind them. Mulder and Scully turned around to see the smoking man. His skin looked like melted wax. Monica brought a lit cigarette to the stoma on his neck. 

"You motherfucker!" Mulder shouted. "You should be dead."

"Such language to use in front of your son--and my grandson,” the smoking man said. 

"I'm sure it's nothing compared to whatever horrible things you've been telling him.” 

Scully reached her hand out to Mulder's forearm to calm him down. "You can't use our son like this," she said.

"He's not using me. I want to do this," William said. "He said it's the only way anyone will survive. That we can preserve the greatest accomplishments about humanity this way. 

"That's not true, William," Mulder shouted. "This man is evil. He doesn’t care about humanity. He's using you to save himself at the expense of the entire planet. If you come with us you can help develop a vaccine that can save everyone. There has to be another way. 

“There is no other way,” said William. “They tried to develop a vaccine, but it failed.”

Mulder shook his head. “Scully–your mother can figure it out. And we have you now. You can help us.” 

“Why should I trust you? You gave me up when I was a baby.” 

Mulder turned toward Scully. His stomach dropped. As much they dreamed of reuniting with their son over the past fifteen years, he knew she dreaded this moment with equal intensity. 

Scully stepped forward and took her son’s hands in hers.

“William,” she said. “I realize this doesn’t make sense but I put you up for adoption because I wanted to protect you. I believed that as far as you were anywhere near me or your father you’d be in danger. The men who brought you here today have been targeting you since you were a baby. It broke my heart to lose you but I would have given my own life if it meant you’d be safe. I love you more than anything or anyone in this world and I’ve never stopped loving you.” 

William furrowed his brow and sucked in his lower lip. Mulder saw the gesture in himself and knew that Scully, too, was mentally cataloging all of their son's features and mannerisms and learning which were hers, which were his, and which were William's own. 

“How do you know the vaccine will work?” he asked.

“We don’t,” Scully said with a sigh. “But we have to try. I know you have a good heart, William.”

“How do you know? You don’t know me at all.”

Scully took a deep breath. “I know because I started feeling your thoughts today. I don’t know how it’s possible, but we’re linked somehow. I felt you. I felt that you love your parents. I know you’re scared, but you don’t want to hurt anyone.”

William softened, dropping his shoulders and unclenching his jaw. “I felt you, too. I felt your love.”

“Oh–” Scully started, hugging her son close and burying her head in his chest. This time, William wrapped his arms around her. 

Mulder gave in to the urge to hold his son and stepped forward to envelop both of them. He felt Scully’s warm form against his chest as he clung to the fabric of William’s hoodie.

“You’re taller than me now,” he said, pulling away.

“I guess it’s been a while,” William said smiling. 

“As charming as this family reunion is, we need to proceed,” said the man at the desk. 

Mulder and Scully pivoted around and saw the man and Reyes both holding guns pointed straight at them.

“We have a team of doctors ready to collect the boy’s bone marrow and begin the transplant. Will you two be joining us?” the man said, gesturing at Mulder and Scully.

“Never!” Mulder shouted, the veins in his neck straining. “And William isn’t going to be your pawn.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Reyes said. “We’ll have to proceed with Plan B then.”

Before she finished speaking, a cadre of heavily armed men clad in black military gear streamed into the room from down a flight of stairs. Blindsided by the sudden siege, Mulder and Scully were quickly overpowered. The men confiscated their guns and tied their hands behind their backs. 

“Get them out of here,” the smoking man said. 

Mulder and Scully struggled but the men easily forced them out of the house and down the driveway. 

“On your knees,” one of the men shouted.

They knelt beside each other and heard multiple guns cocking behind them. 

This is how it would end, Mulder thought. After so many near-death experiences, they were going down without much of a fight. Murdered execution style just yards away from their son. It was a cruel irony that they had just found William and now they were about to die. 

“William is going to survive,” Scully whispered to Mulder. “He’s going to be okay.”

He smiled at her. With a gun literally to her head, Scully only cared about her son’s safety. 

“I love you,” he said. He hadn’t said it since they’d been reunited but he couldn’t die without telling her.

“I love you, too,” she said, looking at him with wet eyes.

A crash of sound erupted behind them. Mulder closed his eyes, thankful that at least his death would be quick.

Then, silence.

Mulder opened his eyes. He was still alive. And so was Scully, kneeling next to him. They turned around and saw William standing above them. The men were on the ground at his feet—and their heads were gone. It was as if their brains exploded from within, nothing remaining but tissue and blood strewn on the ground.

“William–” Scully said. “How?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I can do things with my mind, but I’ve never hurt anyone before. I just had to save you.” 

Mulder and Scully stared at each other and then back at their son. He crouched down to untie them.

“Let’s get out of here,” said Mulder.

[bazyboo13]

Smiling Critters: New Family Part 1 chapter 1 segment 7 : FATHER'S DAY

*a couple of days later*

"hey guys, it's Father's Day"

"oh, great"

"I'm going to be at my granparent's for the night, do any of you want to come with me?"

*everyone looks apathetic, everyone but...*

"I'll go!"

"since Ella's the only one who wants to come"

*Baz pulls out a blue canvas bag*

"get in!"

"uuuuhhhhhhhhhhh"

"good luck soldier"

-"we have to go"-

*Baz's mom walks down the stairs*

"*sigh*"

*Ella enters the bag, it's a bit tight*

"why do I have to be in a bag?"

"I don't think you can be still for most of the day"

-"let's go!"-

"alright"

*they leave the house. About 10 minutes later they come to a gas station*

"it's so stuffy in here..."

"I'm sorry dear but there isn't any other way. do you want anything from here, they have slushies, gummies, and sour stuff"

"I'll take a slushy"

"cherry, blue raspberry, kiwi, cola?"

"blue raspberry, coke, and cherry, together"

"alright"

*Baz and his mom leave*

"this was a mistake... If I have to be in here the entire day... I'm going to go feral in here..."

*Baz and his mom come back*

"finally!"

*Baz takes Bobby out of the bag and puts her on the car floor with the slushy*

"thanks!"

"You're welcome!"

*they drive off to Baz's grandparents house. Ella enjoys her slushy. once the get there they walk in*

"HI GRANDMA! HI GRANDPA!"

-"I have something to tell you!"-

*Baz is confused, guessing something happened*

-"Baz is a parent!"-

*everyone is in shock*

"MOM, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TELL THEM THAT?!"

-"oh is this some secret now?"-

*her tone almost makes it sound like she's mocking him*

"YES! IF THE WRONG PEOPLE FIND OUT WE'RE ALL GOING TO SUFFER FOR IT!"

*Ella pokes her head out, glaring at her*

-"cat's out of the bag"-

*she picks Ella up*

-"this is the first one, he couldn't bring the others sadly"-

*Ella is acting like a normal doll*

-"Bobby, I told them already"-

"Ella, just give up, they saw you glare at her a couple seconds ago"

"*sigh* why did you tell them"

-"Baz didn't tell me not to, and plus, it probably won't escape this house"-

"I thought it was obvious that telling others the"

*his tone changes into a more mocking tone*

"my son is a parent to some living plushies"

*his tone goes back to normal*

"THEY'RE GONNA THINK YOU AND PROBABLY ME ARE SCHIZOPHRENIC!"

"Baz's Grandma attempts to diffuse the situation*

_"so, this is your daughter?"_

"she's my adopted daughter"

_"I think that's obvious"_

"so~ what are we eating?"

_"Pork chops, mashed potatoes, pickles, and some Boston lettuce covered sour cream dressing"_

"that last thing sounds interesting"

"we also bought some pastries!"

"SOUNDS DELICIOUS"

*they have a delicious meal. then dessert comes*

"what is this stuff?"

-"Chocolate mousse bowl, some tarts, and a coconut cream cake"-

*it was a quick dessert because everyone was full Because of the lunch they had before. Baz and Ella lay on 1 of the 2 couches, wrapped in a blanket, watching some YouTube*

-"I got to get going, hope you 2 have a nice time"-

"where are you going?"

-"midget wrestling"-

*there is a bit of pause*

"oh..."

-"bye"-

_"so, Ella, what are you?"_

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh-"

"A soul trapped in a plush body"

*the room goes silent*

"did I say something wrong?!"

*tears start to well in her eyes*

"no dear, it's ok"

*after a bit of time, Ella and Baz are watching YouTube and Baz's Grandma watching some videos on Facebook, and soon it becomes 9:00*

_"time for bed!"_

"already?"

"don't worry, we'll just be in a bedroom, we can sleep when we want to. We just have to be quiet"

"alright"

*Baz and Ella go to the guest bedroom*

"it's so comfy in here"

"I know right"

*the 2 climb into bed, and bury themselves under the sheets, the only thing remaining being their heads. Baz takes out his ear buds and gives one to Ella. They had an amazing night! The next day they get up at 10 am and go down stairs to see Baz's mom waiting for them*

"time to go then, BYE GRANDMA, BYE GRANDPA"

"It has been nice meeting you!"

*they leave Baz's grandparents house and go back home*

(this is Ella/Bobby's segment in the spotlight. Don't worry, the others will get their segments soon.!

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[2brothersdistillers]

Whiskey and Food Pairing: Expert Tips for Creating Perfect Combinations

Whiskey, with its rich flavors and complex aromas, is not just a drink; it's an experience. But what if I told you that pairing whiskey with the right food can elevate that experience to new heights? Yes, you read it right! Whiskey and food pairing is an art that, when done right, can tantalize your taste buds and leave you craving for more.

Understanding flavor profiles

Before we delve into the nitty-gritty of pairing whiskey with food, it's essential to understand the flavor profiles of different types of whiskey. Whiskey can range from light and floral to bold and smoky, depending on factors such as the type of grain used, the distillation process, and aging conditions. Here's a brief overview of some common whiskey flavor profiles:

Light and floral

Think delicate notes of vanilla, honey, and citrus. Examples include Irish whiskey and some blended Scotch whiskies.

Rich and spicy

Characterized by robust flavors of cinnamon, cloves, and pepper. Rye whiskey and certain bourbons fall into this category.

Bold and smoky

Distinctive smoky and peaty notes, reminiscent of campfires and coastal breezes. This profile is typical of many Islay Scotch whiskies.

Pairing principles

Now that we have a basic understanding of whiskey flavor profiles, let's explore some fundamental principles of whiskey and food pairing:

Match intensity

Pair bold whiskies with equally robust dishes, and lighter whiskies with more delicately flavored foods. For example, a peaty Islay Scotch pairs beautifully with smoked salmon or grilled meats, while a delicate Irish whiskey complements seafood or mild cheeses.

Consider complementary flavors

Look for flavors in the whiskey that can complement or contrast with the flavors in the dish. For instance, the caramel and vanilla notes in bourbon can enhance the sweetness of desserts like crème brûlée or bread pudding.

Balance sweetness and acidity

Balancing the sweetness of the whiskey with the acidity of the food can create harmony on the palate. For instance, the acidity of a citrusy ceviche can cut through the richness of a caramel-forward bourbon.

Experiment with textures

Consider the texture of both the whiskey and the food. Creamy dishes like risotto or cheesecake can complement the smooth mouthfeel of a well-aged Scotch whisky.

Perfect pairings

Now, let's dive into some specific whiskey and food pairings that are sure to tantalize your taste buds:

Bourbon and barbecue

The smoky sweetness of bourbon pairs perfectly with the charred flavors of barbecue ribs or pulled pork. The caramelized sugars in the barbecue sauce complement the caramel notes in the bourbon, creating a match made in culinary heaven.

Rye whiskey and charcuterie

The spicy kick of rye whiskey is an excellent foil for the rich, savory flavors of cured meats like salami, prosciutto, and chorizo. Add some crusty bread, tangy pickles, and sharp cheeses to create a balanced and satisfying charcuterie board.

Scotch whisky and dark chocolate

The rich, complex flavors of dark chocolate are a natural match for the smoky, peaty notes of Scotch whisky. Pair a peaty Islay Scotch with a high-quality dark chocolate bar for a decadent and indulgent treat.

Irish whiskey and seafood

The light, floral character of Irish whiskey pairs beautifully with the delicate flavors of seafood. Try pairing a smooth Irish whiskey with grilled shrimp, oysters on the half shell, or a creamy seafood chowder for a taste of the Emerald Isle.

Japanese whisky and sushi

The delicate, nuanced flavors of Japanese whisky are a perfect complement to the subtle flavors of sushi and sashimi. Opt for a light and floral Japanese whisky to accompany your favorite sushi roll or nigiri selection for a truly exquisite dining experience.

Whiskey and food pairing is a delightful journey of exploration and discovery. By understanding the flavor profiles of different types of whiskey and following some simple pairing principles, you can create perfect combinations that will delight your palate and impress your guests. So, the next time you pour yourself a dram of your favorite whiskey, why not elevate the experience by pairing it with the perfect dish? Cheers to delicious adventures in whiskey and food pairing! If you are looking for a distillery near me, or 2 Brothers bourbon, James Two Brothers Distillery is the best option. They offer small boutique-style production of beverage-grade spirit alcohol with simple principles; hard work and honesty. Contact them by writing to paulj@2brothersdistillers.com or call at 352-291-0585.

[stesierra]

@autumnalwalker tagged me! I'm drawing from the Halfway Revenant. My words are venture, focus, whimsy, & vision.

I'll tag anyone who's interested with tree, cave and steel.

Venture

A feminine voice snapped, "Well, don't come to me when you get lonesome. I wouldn't take your money if it was the last-- Stop grabbing my arm! I'm leaving!"

And a short-haired woman barged out of the gate, storming away from the city so that bountiful portions of her anatomy bounced. And a great deal of anatomy was on display. She carried a large double-handled bag made of linen and reeds but wore nothing but sandals and a knee-length linen skirt wrapped about her hips. A dozen semi-precious necklaces fell just above her naked breasts. Some sort of powder whitened all her exposed skin except for her oval visage. A thick layer of cool gray makeup coated her face from hairline to chin. Kohl marked her eyes, and rouge reddened her lips and cheeks. That face looked like nothing natural, but it wasn't supposed to. The makeup and the rest of her outfit was an announcement of this woman's profession. Mindral had seen others like her in Shaneh, but only rarely, because she had seldom gone to the fifth layer, where the brothels were.

The painted woman said, "What are you running away for? Do you think I'm a some sort of criminal?" She wore a bracelet similar to Mindral's own, enchanted to ward off menstruation and pregnancy. At a guess, this woman made more use of the latter property.

"Of course not, areh," Mindral said.

The prostitute cocked her head. "Well, what did they throw you out for? Bad fashion sense? Dirty clothes? Carrying a crossbow in the streets?"

"I'm just arriving and have yet to venture into the city. But they threw you out? Why?"

The woman sniffed. "Oh, for prostitution."

"But prostitution is legal."

"Oh, yes, but soliciting in the central district isn't. Or being there in this outfit, at all." She sighed and tilted her head skyward. "I just wanted to snare a nice young man from a key family for the night. I would have shown him a good time. As if their high-priced courtesans who sit up in their fancy boudoirs are any better than me."

"I see," Mindral said. "And now what will you do?" A town might have enough work for a prostitute, but this one didn't look dressed to walk so far.

The woman shrugged. "Oh, I'll go back in tomorrow. That's the way it works. Walk the wrong street and sleep outside for one night. They tell us revenants will get us out here, but I'm not frightened." She smiled, baring perfect white teeth, and managed to look beautiful despite the makeup. "So who're you? I'm Nila Mehre, escort extraordinaire."

Focus

Mindral rolled over and vomited up liquefied eggs and pickled pork. The sour taste of stomach acid and the salt of tears filled her mouth, but the overwhelming stench of the putrid dead filled her nostrils. She threw up until nothing remained inside of her and kept heaving even after that. The sight of the dead kept her down on her hands and knees. Flies buzzed around her, trying to settle on her neck and arms. But she didn’t hold still, not like the corpses they’d laid their maggots in.

In the end, the chittering of the rats drove her upright. She wrapped her arms around herself and stumbled towards the door. The uneven floor tripped her, but she forced herself on faster. The urge to flee this rotten tomb whipped her on, despite her weak and twitchy muscles. She wasn’t spending another second here. If she was alive—and she was alive!— then she was escaping. Escaping, and figuring out a way to tear down Payar Cheref for the wrong he’d done her.

She made it out into the main corridor, and the stench died slightly. The passageway stretched both left and right, and for a horrible moment, she didn’t know which way to turn. If she chose wrong, she might wander lost in the caves forever.

And then a Nimina light turned on to her right, awoken by her movement. Nothing turned on to the left. It had to be a sign. She trudged towards the light, and more turned on ahead of her, illuminating dripping straws and shining flowstones. The cool air of the cave caressed her skin. Silence wrapped her, now that she’d left the scurrying and chirping of the rats behind. Only the thump of her footsteps convinced her she hadn’t gone deaf.

She touched her brow. Dried blood crusted her forehead and the sides of her face. The unbinding symbol was gouged into her forehead, the edges swollen and painful. It should have freed her soul. It had, for a little while, but it hadn’t lasted. What did that mean? Had the novice priest botched the funeral rites? Was the carving incorrect? Was other explanation could there be? She wasn’t dead. She wasn’t with the gods. Something had gone wrong.

She trudged through the caverns, past stinking rooms with fresh burials, and thirst dried her mouth and throat until her tongue felt like leather. There was water outside of the catacombs. All she had to do was reach it. Then she could drink her fill and wash away the blood. She focused on that small thing because she couldn’t figure out, just then, how to make Payar Cheref pay for trying to murder her.

Whimsy

Look, there's not a lot of whimsy in my stuff.

Vision

She didn't know what she expected outside of the garden that ringed the Nimina Palace, but it wasn't a club to the head. She caught a glimpse of three big men, one holding a cudgel, before her vision went black.

Tag list

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@macabremoons

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@vorskra

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The Halfway Revenant

@acertainmoshke

[gimmieacoke-blog]

It Aint Easy Being Green- 100 Baby Challenge (4/100)

Here is the donor for #4! Nothing says romance like a chocolate egg, and you know what they say about bunnies..

And surprise surprise! Hes green!

This is Pork Chop! And the streak of normal skin tones is broken! If you think Nachos' kissy kissy mouth was embarrassing, imagine how Pork Chop felt! He loved it! He had so many good role models growing up!

Elphaba! Kermit! Mike Wazowski!

Believe it or not, I have even less pictures of Pork Chop than I did Quiche. So this will be a text post for the most post.

He was a Sunny infant. He always had a smile on his face. He loved to watch his siblings walk by as he was laying on his play pad, with a dirty diaper. Don't you worry though! Mom got him eventually! He wasn't in a dirty diaper for very long. Mom usually had to just finish up teaching his older sister Quiche her shapes and then she came right over to handle all his needs.

As a toddler, he was very inquisitive. You would always find him looking through boxes just to see what was inside. He solved the mystery of what would happen if you put a rock up your nose. Turn outs, it gets stuck and then Mom makes a funny face and starts running around looking for her phone to call the doctor. It was a lot of fun to watch. Getting the rock out of his nose, was less fun.

This adventurous child went from putting rocks up his nose to spraying rocks as he sped by on his bike. While I don't have pictures of it, he did make a lot of messes too. To tell you I hated this punk is an accurate statement. I swear, every time I took my eyes off him, he started a mess. Then I had to stop everything and have Mom reprimand him. It was a whole process. At this point, I almost wished I named him Pickle because that's how much I didn't like him. But luckily he redeemed himself as a teen.

When you talk about parentifying, poor Pork Chop really got the short end of the stick. He was also able to get in trouble a lot I did not have the brain capacity to bother with what he was doing, which you will see why in the next post. ANYWAY, as a teen he became a bit of a snob, preferring the finer things in life like yoga. You may not think yoga is that fine, but when mom cant have a moment to breathe, being able to do a yoga routine is heaven.

This is him blowing out the candles. Don't mind Mom, even Sims have unflattering pictures taken of them.

Here he is as a young adult, where he gained the self assured trait.

And here is his other mother:

Honestly, I think he really lucked out here. Marisa's DNA really did some heavy lifting. He has a chin! That's always a win in my book!

Here is a sneak peak to my post on Monday:

See ya next week!