#riddler more than like riddl-her haha

[benji-deeds]

[odiesdayoff]

So Undercover

pair: dark!Edward Nashton x fem!reader

summary: You get a little too caught up in an undercover job to unravel the Riddler.

warnings: NON-CON / DUB-CON SMUT (MINORS LEAVE); no really this is dark if it makes u uncomfy then do not pass go!! voyeurism, mentions of revenge porn, forced creampie, dildos, fucking machines, sexting? coercion, manipulation, name-calling (slut, whore, good girl), stalking, blackmail

i'm so fr if u dont like this then go because your consumption is literally not my business at all actually. but enjoy :)

possible part 2

<me> Hi. 

<?> Hello.

<?> What gets wet while drying?

<me> Oh. Um.

<me> A towel.

<?> Correct.

You sighed from relief. As far as you knew, the man you were dealing with was calling himself The Riddler. Having to actually answer riddles surprisingly wasn’t something you thought you’d have to do.

<me> What is your name?

<?> I think you know that already.

<me> Riddler, yes. But I want to know your actual name.

<?> I’m not stupid.

<?> What is your name?

<me> I’m not stupid, either.

<?> I know.

<?> You’re a good girl.

The pointer on the screen blinked. Your hands were still on your keyboard, but something stopped you from typing anything in response. No part of your conversation or your screen name implied you were a girl. Unless, it was a lucky guess and he was just messing with your head.

<?> Don’t get cold feet now, Y/n. We’re just getting started.

<?> That’s your name, right?

<?> I want to know who I’m looking at talking to.

<me> What?

<?> Answer the question.

<me> That is my name.

<?> Good girl.

You bit the inside of your cheek and slowly closed your laptop. Detective Henry and two officers looked at you for an answer. “He knew my name.”

The detective nodded. “We expected that. You didn’t get kicked off, though, right?”

“No. I don’t know, actually. I got scared.” Sheepishly, you looked down at the closed laptop. In your defense, this wasn’t in your job description at all. You spun your chair around. The first thing that caught your eye was the chair behind you. 

A towel. Draped over the back of the chair.

None of this could’ve been a lucky guess. You knew for certain that he was looking at you through your webcam. “I want you to talk to him at home. That way it’s more believable.”

“Can’t you do it yourself? Or get Estella to do it?” That was the office secretary that rarely did anything other than watch Netflix on her computer and occasionally go on a coffee run.

The detective crossed his arms. “He recognized us as cops. IP banned us. We’ll pay you overtime for this.”

You didn’t open your laptop again and look at the chat log until you were at your apartment and on your bed. With the knowledge that The Riddler could see through your webcam, you made sure not to change out of your work clothes just yet.

<?> I was wondering when you’d come back.

<me> I was curious.

<?> About me?

<me> Yes. 

<?> What about me?

<me> Everything.

<me> All I hear at work is you and the things you’re up to.

<?> At the station?

<me> Yes.

<?> You don’t look like a cop.

<me> I’m not.

<me> I’m an archival assistant.

<?> Interesting.

<me> It’s really not.

<me> What do you do?

<?> I work with numbers.

<me> Can’t imagine you with a 9-5 

<me> haha.

<?> I have to make money somehow.

<me> It’s funny.

<me> You’re just like the rest of us, then.

<?> Yes.

<?> People like you don’t usually follow me.

<me> What do you mean? People like me.

<?> Beautiful young women.

<?> With their whole lives ahead of them.

<me> I doubt that. 

<me> Do you know all of your followers?

<?> Yes.

<?> They are mostly older males.

<?> So…

<?> How can I be sure I can trust you?

You stared at the question on your screen. This was either a test because he knew that you were technically working for the GCPD’s investigation or a genuine concern. You started to type.

<me> You can trust me.

After sending, you realized how dumb the answer truly was. If you were him, it was obvious.

<?> Take off your blouse.

<me> No.

<?> Yes.

<?> Or I cut this communication.

Thoughts raced through your head. He was a creep, of course. You weren’t entirely sure what you should’ve expected of someone like him. This was for the sake of the investigation. It could save lives. Just show the man your boobs.

One-by-one, you unbutton your blouse until it slid down your arms. The webcam was pointed directly at you and your chest.

<?> Keep going.

Your bra fell to your lap after you unclipped it. He wasn’t typing. Your nipples seemed to keep eye contact with the webcam. A chill coming from the poorly fixed holes in your windows gave you goosebumps and made your nipples harder.

<?> Gorgeous.

<me> Do you trust me now?

<?> Yes.

His little available dot next to his name disappeared, leaving you confused, a bit violated, and half-naked in your bedroom. You didn’t know what he looked like or his name, but you just put on a little show for him. He probably was too busy jerking off to type. 

Not moving, you kept the chat open. The dot returned. He started typing. 

<?> Knew you’d be waiting for me.

<?> Greedy little slut.

<me> Excuse me?

<?> Don’t act modest now.

<?> Take off those pants.

<me> I gave you what you wanted.

<me> I’m not doing that.

<?> Yes, you are.

<?> I changed my mind.

You rolled your eyes and made sure it was caught by the camera. The laptop stayed on your bed as you stood up and shimmied out of your work pants. 

<?> Panties, too.

<me> No way.

<?> I want to see that pussy of yours.

<me> Fuck off.

You closed the chat and quickly threw some clothes on. There’s no way you were going to do all of that for some stranger just because it might help with an investigation. No way.

At work the next day, you did your best to throw yourself into the busy work you had to do and forget about last night. He was nothing but a disgusting pervert and you weren’t doing it anymore. You could just tell the detective that he found out what you were doing and blocked you as well. 

Your mouse hovered over the bookmarked website. No. He wasn’t going to take up any more space in your mind than he already has. You slammed the laptop shut. 

A knock on the doorframe caught your attention. A tall man with slightly shaggy hair and glasses stood, still wearing a dark blue windbreaker. He was mousy, his posture nowhere near upright. “Can I help you, sir?”

A small smile appeared. “Yeah, hi. I wanted to ask about the records and how I could possibly access one.”

You pushed your chair back further to get a better look at him. The whole point of this job was to stay cooped up in the shelves of your records, collecting dust just as fast as they were. “Well, did you fill out a request form?”

He looked at you, confused.

“I’ll take that as a no.” You chuckled and stood. Rows of cabinets faced you. “They should be somewhere around here. I mean, they are online, but you’re already here. So…” You searched a few of the cabinets before finding the stack of empty request forms. “Here.” You took one of the forms and handed it to the man.

“Thank you. Do you have a pen?” He made the gesture of writing with his hand like you would ask a waiter for a check. 

You pulled the pen from your hair and it fell onto your shoulders. It was keeping a somewhat bun shape just to get it out of your face. He took the pen and leaned on the closest desk to start filling out the form.

You stood there, watching him write. In reality, you had no idea what you were supposed to be doing with him still there. After a minute, he returned the form and the pen to you. “So, how does this work?”

“I just have to enter some of your information into the system, I’ll scan the record digitally and you’ll be able to access it online in about a half-hour, I think.” He followed you to your computer and stood a bit too close as you started to enter his information into the system.

“You think?” He raised a brow.

You shrugged. “I mean, I know. It’s just pretty rare that someone actually comes in. And it’s my boss that does it. She’s on vacation right now. Of course, who goes on vacation in the middle of February?”

“It’s cheaper.” He answered.

“I guess so.” You continued to fill out the information into the system. “You know, you don’t have to stay anymore. I’ll have the record sent to your email.”

He pursed his lips and adjusted his windbreaker. “It was nice meeting you, um…”

“Y/n. You too, um.” You looked at the form. Patrick Parker. “Patrick.”

Once you looked from your screen to his direction, he was long gone. Strange man. You took a closer look at the records he was requesting. The murder of Thomas and Martha Wayne. Strange men indeed.

No matter how strange the interaction you had was, it still took your mind off of The Riddler. You hadn’t thought about opening up the chat log again until you finally reached your apartment. The laptop almost beckoned you to open it while it was on the counter and you were eating dinner.

“Jesus. Okay.” You put your food on the table and brought your laptop. The chat was pulled up after a moment.

<me> Are you there?

You continued to eat, glancing at the chat log. The small availability dot appeared next to his screen name. He didn’t respond. 

<me> Riddler.

<me> I know you’re there.

You finished your dinner, still with no response. The dishes were done and drying when you returned to your laptop. He was still there, but not speaking. 

<me> Please.

<?> Such a desperate slut.

<?> I love it when you beg.

<me> I have a question for you.

<?> Yes?

<me> Why do you do what you do?

<?> For justice.

<me> I mean, the violence part. 

<?> Change doesn’t happen peacefully.

<?> You can’t just ask the corrupt to treat people like us with respect.

<?> Or give us the things that are rightfully ours.

<me> What about fixing the system from the inside?

<?> It’s naive to believe things like that.

<?> We can’t fix the system.

<?> It has to be destroyed and rebuilt.

<me> And that’s what you plan on doing?

<?> Precisely.

<me> I want to help you.

<?> How could you possibly help?

<me> I have access to the entirety of the GCPD police record system.

<me> No questions asked.

<?> They are public records.

<?> Anyone has access.

<me> Well.

<me> What can I do?

<?> You can be an informant.

<me> Like, tell you what the police are saying?

<?> Yes.

<me> I can do that.

<?> Good girl.

The surge of adrenaline that shot through you was hard to ignore. You were successfully doing undercover work and seemingly gaining trust in the Riddler. Even harder to ignore was that heat that pooled in between your legs when he praised you. For all that you knew, he was some ugly, basement dweller.

What were you even thinking? He’s a serial killer. A literal killer that plans on killing many more people.

<?> I’m sending you a gift.

<me> A gift?

<?> Yes. 

<me> Why?

<me> What is it?

<?> It’s a surprise.

The Riddler’s surprise gift that was supposedly getting to you could’ve been so many things. What if it was a bomb? You knew that he had your workplace and if he knew your name, he could’ve found your address. Easily. 

It took a week for the package to arrive at your front door. It was larger than you thought. After a long day of work, you had to drag the box into your apartment before anyone asked any questions. You took your pocket knife and cut open the box. What was inside made your jaw drop. You went straight to your laptop.

<me> What the fuck?

<me> Why would you give this to me?

<?> You don’t like it?

<me> No.

<?> I want to see you use it.

<me> I’m not touching that thing.

<?> But you are.

<?> It’s custom made.

<?> And remote controlled.

<me> You’re disgusting.

<?> And you’re still going to do what I tell you to do.

<me> And why is that?

<?> Because I have so many pictures of you that I’m sure your employers won’t want to see. 

<me> What pictures?

<?> Attached 3 Images.

Pictures of you from that first night appeared on your screen. Topless photos with your face clearly in the frame along with one without your pants. You gasped.

<?> Take it out of the box.

You resisted the urge to say no. The box stared at you from across the room. You got up and pulled it out of the box. It was a dildo connected to a metal base. It was not an unnatural skin color. It was pale, not entirely large, but not small. In the living room you placed it upright on the rug and brought your laptop to face it.

<?> Strip.

<?> Don’t make me wait, slut.

You grabbed the edges of your shirt and pulled it off, your pants following shortly. After a deep breath and the reminder that your life would probably be ruined if you stopped here, you unhooked your bra and rolled your panties down your legs.

<?> Touch yourself.

Your hand trembled as you reached your clit and gently started to rub circles over it. This was necessary no matter how uncomfortable you were knowing that he was watching. You had to be at least a little wet before he commanded you to start using the dildo.

<?> I want you to put your mouth on it.

The machine and the synthetic cock attached to it taunted you as you got closer to it. Glancing at the laptop for a moment, you licked the head. You slowly began to take the cock deeper in your mouth, doing your best to pretend that it was something real and connected to someone you liked. What was the name of the guy from the forensics unit? Ben? Yeah, you imagined it to be him.

Your phone began to ring and you looked at the screen for him to tell you what to do now.

<?> Answer.

The caller ID said that it was an unknown number. You picked up. “Hello?”

A modulated male voice came through the other line. “Get back to sucking, slut.” 

Of course, he knew your number. He probably knew your shoe size, favorite drink, and childhood dog’s name. “I won’t be able to talk.”

“That’s the point. I want to hear you gag.” Still with the phone on your ear, you returned to gently sucking the cock. A quiet beep came from it and it began to push slowly further into your mouth. He would be mad if you pulled away, so you tried your best to take as much of it before the tip poked against the back of your throat.

You gagged and pulled away from the machine. Your voice rasped. “No more.”

He sighed from the other line. “Then get on it.”

Not wanting to look at the camera, you kept your stare to the ground and lined your entrance up to the awaiting cock. As you sank low enough so that the tip was inside of you, another beep filled the silence. The machine pushed the cock into you entirely. You moaned out of surprise and the sudden feeling of being full, followed by whimpering as the machine, or The Riddler, didn’t let you get used to the unfamiliar stretch.

“That’s right. Moan for me, slut.” The machine’s pace quickened and you couldn't hold your voice no matter how hard you tried. Your moans and whimpers filled the air. Riddler wasn’t visible, but you could almost feel that he had a smug little smirk on his face. “You’re mine, you hear that? All mine. Say you’re the Riddler’s whore.”

“M’not saying that.”

The machine stopped its assault. The pattern changed to pushing entirely into you as fast as possible, then slowly pulling out. It was excruciating. It just kept going on like that. 

“I’m The Riddler’s whore. Now stop it.” Your body jolted with each thrust. 

“What was that? Say it nice and clear to the camera.”

You turned your head to face the laptop. “I’m The Riddler’s whore.”

The machine sped up back to its original fast pace. “Good girl. Do you know what good girls get?”

All of your brain power was focused on answering. “What?”

The machine stopped, sheathed fully inside of you. “They get cum.” A warm liquid shot out of the synthetic cock and filled your insides. You didn’t even realize what was happening until most of it had already been expelled into you, threatening to enter your womb.

Looking down at yourself, droplets of cum spilled from your opening. “What is that? That’s not real, right?”

“It’s real. I’ve been keeping it nice and warm just for you. Feel honored.” He hung up the phone.

At least you were on the pill.

At work, the next day, you walked in with a small container that held as much of the Riddler’s semen as you possibly could gather after the fact. How were you even going to explain this to the detective? Sexted the serial killer and now I have some evidence! That’s insane.

You handed the container to one of the forensics workers. “I need this DNA tested. It’s connected to the Riddler case.” Be brief with details and get out of there. 

You felt safe again when you were in the archive room and finally away from everyone else. A knock on the door caught your attention. The same man from a few weeks ago stood. Patrick Parker, you think it was. Some alliteration like that. 

“Couldn’t figure out the website. Figured I’d just come here again.” He blushed as he spoke and avoided eye contact with you. Still strange, but at least he seemed a little sweet.

You stood from your chair. “Yeah, the forms are just over here.”

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Oh no was the spin-off bad or just mediocre? Is there anything you particularly liked or disliked about it?

god okay let's get into the good, the bad, and the ???? of it all. hiding it entirely under a cut because spoilers ahoy.

the :)

I have reservations about the Riddler as a full protagonist that I'll articulate below, but I can't really fault any of the writing re: Eddie's dialogue at all. the characterization of the Riddler as an insufferably cocky and nosy motormouth works really well, and Hasan Minhaj seems like he's having a blast with the expanded role.

I also like ESCAPE ARTIST PICKPOCKET RIDDLER recognition!!!

also hey even though they didn't follow up on some of the very promising tidbits re: Eddie's potentially deteriorating mental state dropped in Unburied, I like that it was made clear that there are physical components to his riddle compulsion, namely mentioning that his chest was getting tighter. it adds an interesting dimension to his whole schtick!

having listed all these fun traits that I enjoy, I also respect that the story doesn't feel the need to like... soften Eddie in order to make him a more likeable protagonist. oh haha the funny little asshole man? yeah he killed people. he kills a guy literally in the course of the story after proclaiming in the very first episode that he's mostly non-violent. and he's 100% chill about it because fuck that guy! he doesn't matter, he's in the way of the riddle! and the whole ending with Nadira is... oofah doofah, that's crazy. that's crazy crazy. and it's pretty tasty!

I LOOOOOVE appearances from minor villains!!! bro we got THE FUCKING TALLY MAN in this!!! also hey when I wrote that absurdly long post-Unburied fic I CORRECTLY predicted Croc, Sportsmaster, and the fucking Condiment King someone. I don't know. pay me or kiss me on the mouth for that or something.

I wish there was more Barbara, of course, but I really like what we did get of her! I like that we've kind of skipped over any need for her to have a Batgirl era and just got straight to the good stuff of being almost Oracle. I love to see her exactly where she belongs: flagrantly committing cybercrime to save lives because she can.

also the sound design is still good, and I really like the new music for the opening and Azrael's motif

also speaking of Azrael I'm going to say ONE nice thing about how he was written which is that I DO think it's interesting that they directly pointed out that the concept of Azrael as an angel of death is actually much more prominent in Islam than Christianity while also making in unambiguous that the Nygmas are a Muslim family. it adds a little bit of intrigue to the connection between Nadira and JP, not nearly enough to actually redeem Nadira as a big bad in my eyes (see below) but it is interesting!

also lastly Eddie is flirting so hard with Bruce AND Barbara I love you problematic awful bisexual representation. AND Killer Croc wants to fuck him? madness.

the :/

I alluded to this earlier, but I don't know if I love Eddie promoted to the POV protagonist! it's a big departure from Unburied, not just in terms of who's the main character but also in terms of limiting the scope of the story. giving Bruce and Barbara's alternating perspectives in Unburied was brilliant for building up the mystery and creating suspense in the story, and when the story came together to focus fully on Bruce as Batman it felt organically earned.

and also on a more Eddie-centric note I just! think he works better as a supporting character for other people to bounce off of, rather than being a lead in his own right!

I'm putting this in :/ instead of :( because it's more of a matter of personal taste than anything but godddddd I wanted more Barbara :/ I love her :/ where is she :/ I'm mostly mad because I wanted a spinoff of her and Eddie solving crimes while he crashes in her couch and does petty crime but godddddd god god god I want her back so bad I love her more than Eddie and Bruce combined

while I like the emotional beats of the resolution with Nadira I don't... like her as a character or a storytelling device. like I'm sorry but I don't really care about the Riddler's family drama! especially not when it's as heavy-handed as "my sister told me riddles to distract me from our parents fighting." very reminiscent of the backstory where Leonard and Lisa Snart would hide out in an ice cream truck or whatever, please stop trying to make psychology this painfully clear cut.

I also didn't really need an origin story but I do like that it's kind of an updated version of his first BTAS episode!

I can't decide if Jean Paul unceremoniously killing off Flass is really funny or sucks shit. kind of both but it does veer towards the latter, I was really hoping that if they're going to keep making more of this podcast we would at least get to see Babs get an arc where she investigates Flass and gets justice for her dad on her own terms. but then again. it is pretty funny.

also god this isn't REALLY about the show but I have to say this. the Riddler a.) getting #calledout by Azrael for bearing false witness and b.) ESPECIALLY him trying to dunk on his sister by implying she should marry a white guy are SO FUNNY given the timing of the minor scandal re: Hasan Minhaj maybe just straight up making things up entirely in his comedy and SPECIFICALLY getting that poor woman doxxed by claiming she dumped him for racist reasons. I'M JUST SAYING. (editor's note: since absolved of all wrongdoing and the woman who wrote that piece is genuinely unhinged, but the timing was still BANANAS.)

the :(

I'm just gonna say it, man: I'm not into Colman Domingo's Bruce/Batman performance at all. I don't know what happened behind the scenes to precipitate Winston Duke leaving the role, but god fuck I'm in mourning. Duke is genuinely one of my favorite portrayals of Bruce ever for his distinctive Batman voice and how much expressiveness, vulnerability, and warmth he brings to the character, and while I wouldn't want his replacement to try and mimic that performance exactly (impossible!) it seems like Domingo just... wasn't even given the memo? this is a much flatter Bruce, and I simply cannot love him.

re: my complaints about Nadira above, her character is just handled in a really underwhelming way. having Eddie repeatedly call her "sis" is stumbling straight into the one of the worst of all lazy exposition techniques, especially since Bruce works his way to that exact revelation, like would it have killed anyone to just... let us wonder about the connection a *little* longer? also, again, those flashbacks are ARTLESS. in Unburied there's framing and context for all of the ways the past blends into the present, whether it's Strange's recordings or the story taking place inside Bruce's own meddled memories. it really feels like they're just hurling backstory at us with a catapult in this one.

the ultimate big bad reveal is... ugh. UGH. Unburied was a really cool nesting doll of a minor Batman villain being manipulated by a more well-known villain being manipulated by an A-list villain with a cool and unique spin on her backstory... Secrets in the Dark has an absolutely WASTED member of the Batfamily used as a killer of the week, controlled by a minor dirty cop and a complete OC who doesn't get much screentime at all. cool!

also hey listen. as soon as they start going "hmm... I don't know this is just too big for Flass... SOMEONE else must be helping him..." it's like. I don't know, man. do you think it's possibly the only new character introduced in the series who we know was just elected to a government position? do you think maybe that's who it could be?

also hey man speaking of which they just fucking. they just used Jean Paul as a random deranged serial killer and then the fucking Riddler managed to convince him to off himself. fucking. disrespectful. this feels like that episode of Arrow (sorry to cite Arrow in 2023, I know) when Helena's just like. an antagonist of the week for Oliver to fight. disrespectful!!!!

"Makenzie I thought you didn't even like Jean Paul why does it matter" I'M COMING AROUND ON HIM

overall the plot just feels way more hectic and unpolished than Unburied and it's Unfortunate!

also hey do you remember at the end of Unburied where Bruce just casually blows the lid open on Eddie being afraid that he's like. devolving and actively losing his grip on his own brain and it's like extra bad and scary because he has no idea whether it really means anything when he passes psych evals, etc? really cool how we never really brought that up again

where was Ace :( :( :( my good boy :( :( :(

[kelvintimeline]

Stephanie’s Batman Review:

First off, this movie could’ve been an hour and a half. Parts of this movie could’ve been an email and that’s saying something considering parts of this movie effectively WERE an email. This movie had one good riddle and tried to give us like five. And that one good riddle was wasted because Rpattz got to say the word Lies and didn’t fuck it up by saying THE LAAAAS again.

That said, his Bruce was fun. Mopey Little Bitch Bruce Wayne is what I wanted and what I got, though he was more Batman than Bruce Wayne (which kinda made this movie lack an emotional heart on some levels). This felt like a Real Batman movie--it had the investigations, it took itself seriously, but also seemed aware that some things are... pretty fucking stupid. I watched Selina put a cat on the back of her motorcycle, implying it was gonna ride with her and almost lost my mind.

Sometimes, it doesn’t take it self seriously in a way to avoid plot follow up (seriously, uhh, Bruce just caused a 20+ car pile up and explosion and... no one cared because we made a joke about haha they abandoned the Penguin and he’s whining about it) but it was fine. Sometimes, it took itself too seriously to create a self important message where Bruce LITERALLY becomes a beacon of light for Gotham on impulse. Like he hit his head and decided to care about The Little Guys he could see in the darkness, through flood water and debris. Sure. (It was a great shot though, just like the recreation of the Darth Vader scene from Rogue One but with machine guns.)

But... I gotta say. The real take away was The Shit Tier, Holy Shit Tier Poltiics of this film. Copaganda wasn’t dialed up to 5, wasn’t dialed up to 10, it was on fucking 20. For a film obsessed with exposing police corruption... this entire film is about how good cops are valuable and how they are too restrained by the law.

The person exposing the cops is the villain, in the classic “He’s doing a good thing but in the wrong way” bullshit method. But it goes beyond that, we get Bruce working not just with Gordon but with the average cops and we get sooo many comments about how he’s ruining the chain of command (which is thus a barrier to him doing his Good Work) and then immediately solves something by breaking it. The chain of a command is a problem. The fact that the cops can’t just bust into places without a warrant is a problem.

I nearly fucking lost it when the film came to a halt for Bruce to call Gordon a Good Cop (in contrast to the bad ones!!! the bad apples!!) and then the film ends with a black woman coming on stage to restore “faith in institutions” with cops behind her, with these two scenes combining for some weird racial politics that made me uncomfortable even as a white viewer. Like, using black characters to uphold cops as Good is pretty blatantly inappropriate.

ANd the entire film felt like a set up for Bruce Believes in Radical Violence but that radical violence is GOOD because it is Cop Approved and The Riddler Believes in Radical Violence but it’s BAD because it’s exposing cops!!!

And when a movie has twice the run time it should have actually had and most of that extra run time is spent showing like “Yeah, these cops are rough around the edges and, yes, most of them are corrupt and cane bought, but we promise you should believe in them, Bruce Wayne’s only human contact outside of his foster dad is one!” it’s just... exhausting.

When the movie was fun, it was fun. I want a movie following Selina around, especially after this movie accidentally gay baited me with her. But there’s a lingering fucking taint around it that’s hard to absolve. Because this film had a weird throw away line about “white privilege” (to defend a white victim?) and it rly felt like a weird bone thrown at a liberal audience to make them think this film was trying to say anything other than “Weee riddles are fun and cops are funner.”

Also, a bomb went off in Bruce’s face and he was fine. Why did that happen? Someone got long nails to the face and acted like they were dying but Bruce got blown up like five times and walked it off

[just-an-enby-lemon]

(second part): so since you threw the question back: some things I'd want them to carry over from the movie would be some of the designs - Bruce's look when he takes off the helmet and his eye makeup is smeared and his hair a mess is very fun for a young version of the character and it makes him seem more real and vulnerable. Selina's pre-Catwoman thief outfit is nice too, i like how makeshift it looks and that the beanie forms cat ears and how many earrings she wears, it suits her. Another design is the interior of Wayne Tower and the batmobile design, I wouldn't mind if these designs got carried over to the comics either. Another thing is that movie Bruce turned one of his father's old cars into the Batmobile according to tie-in material, which I think makes for interesting symbolism: using something his parents owned to avenge them. and another thing from that novel that could get carried over to the comics is that Edward was a mediocre or bad student - I know that's already older comics canon but I think they should bring it back again, it's always more interesting imo when he wasn't a good student because that would fuel his need to prove he is smart even more if even school was telling him that he isn't, and having him be someone that got failed by the school system not because he wasn't smart but because of his bad home situation and the way his neurodivergence was treated could be used to criticise that system too. Penguin starting his criminal career by working with Falcone could be interesting too

as for things I don't want them to carry over: aside from what you said also Riddler's character design, it's bland and the whole para-military vibe is something that doesn't really fit the character outside of the movie's version not to mention that it's always sad when a flamboyant character is made to fit society's standards of what is "normal" to be or dress like more. I also don't want them to carry over the way that his neurodivergence is portrayed because no offense to the actor but it came across like it really played up that he is a "scary autistic guy" who is scarier because he's not neurotypical. I also don't like how aggressive he is when delivering his riddles, it fits well for this version, but shouldn't become the standard interpretation imo. Oh and I think Martha being an Arkham shouldn't get carried over either cause her being a Kane is important because it makes Bruce jewish on his mother's side. The families could still be related though ofc, maybe via Thomas' mother?

...and now I'm curious what you think of those points haha

Okay. Let's go. About the desing choices you mentioned: heck yeah. I love how both Bruce and Selina's costumes show clearly that they are still starting their carrear and it's genuinally great. Wayne Tower has a great desing and adding to it soo does the Wayne Mansion.

And the batmobiles being adapted from Thomas cars and the desing reflecting it: aaaa. I did not knew that and now my hearth is melting.

• Edward being a mediocre student is something I actually have no opinion about on one way or anothe. I do have a soft spot for Ed being a bad student because his brain was wired different and the text based educacion system is a fraud because of the old comics. It works soo well to explain Edward misplaced fear of being a fraud, his need to prove his inteligence, because he is a genius, but since the way he filters and presents information was different than what formal education wanted he was wasted. A characther who failed by society in all aspects. It can even figure out in a version of him who doesn't know Bruce's secret identity (namely the Arkham games) as even though all evidences point to Bruce he refuses to believe that someone who was never failed by this system, who had the good grades and a good guardian and money and honestly everything could be Batman because that would mean that everyone was right that he was not helped because he isn't good enough.

But I also enjoy Edward being the best student in class and I feel like that can also created a system of self worth based on inteligence. I'm far from a genius but I had good grades and being a bullied kid with undiagnosed autism and just being weird the fact I was considered smart was the only value I could give myself for a long time. I had panick attacks when I forgot to do homework or got answers wrong because my value was being smart. It also creates a weird paradoxal feeling of you are better than everyone else because you are smart but also your value is only mesure by that if you do a mistake you are worse because you have no other talents. And since I wasn't a genius when things got hard (since no one teached me to study as I "didn't need it") and my grades started slipping in High School I started having severe panic attacks and that was how I started therapy. So I can see an Edward who never had this moment, who was mistreated at home and bullied and isolated and different but at least he had good grades and everyone always told him this was his only value and that this was enought to make him better than everyone else and he had no reason to not believe in both of those things. And still serves to criticize the education system.

So that's my way to say I think both aproachs are good and I like the idea. Sorry for the tagent.

• Penguin working for Falcone could be nice.

• Riddler's costume: Oh geez. It makes me question what they will do with Robin?

But seriusly it fits the universe. But comics are wild and any universe who has Constantine, Swanp Thing and Clayface has to stop trying for realism. Also people do dress dramaticatly or silly normally. So yeah. I hope they don't bring it to the main continuity. Also yes I hate when they nend characthers to fit into more socialy accepted clothes or behaviors and use "realism" as the explanation.

• FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT. I mean some people are talking about it, but it's still such a small percentage.

DC has a huuge history with ableism in relation to bad portraits of mental health. Two-Face often poorly writen TDI is a prime example. Or just the fact that Arkham is based on Bedlam mostly for the scary factor. But I like to believe they are slowly improving on it or at least in showing that being neurodivergent and/or mentally disabled are not the reasons that the rogues are evil. Having Riddler's compulsive OCD being adressed in Unburied not as the reason for his crimes but as something that genuinally harms HIM and his perception of self was a small detail but it was a good start. Same with how they are slowly dealing with Harley being a survivor of DA or Bruce having panic attacks (showing Bruce having panic attacks was also a win in Unburied though it already had happened in some comics) or Jason dealing with PTSD. It's small things but they are progress.

That being the case it only makes worse for me how Riddler was portrait in The Batman. It was sooo fucking ableist. Specially for autistic people. And as an autist myself it gets me genuinally mad and offended. How the fuck did accidental coding on 1966 Riddler made for better stim representation than intencional coding (because it was intencional no one can convince me otherwise) in 2022?! Were they trying to be offensive? Was autism speaks involved in the charactherization? How did they fucked up soo bad?

• Agressive riddles should not be a thing. I think this is specially important as a thing that should not be translated to auditory media: podcasts, cartons, audibooks, future movies. Because I think it takes a lot of what riddles should mean for Riddler and also because I'm a firm beliver that all riddles should be told rhytimically in aduitory media, almost musicaly, specially with characther who do it a lot and/or like them. It just works better in my head.

• Yeah. Martha being an Arkham was something that was comic book cannon for a short while, but I don't like it. Bruce's accidental jewsish heritage makes soo much sense when taking into consideration how DC and MARVEL were founded mostly by jewish people. It feels an homage to this people (same reason I cannot see Peter Parker, Steve Rogers and Clark Kent as not being jewish though in Bruce's case they made it cannon, by accident but still).

While I think it could be interesting to have Bruce have Arkham blood on his father side. He is already related to two of the founder famillies and deeply conected with another via the Elliots. Maybe give the Arkham decendant to Tim to mix a little. Also Bruce being related to Jeremiah Arkham would be a strange thing in comics (like i don't think Mark Reeves plans to using Jeremiah so it's fine, but in the comics he already exists so it would be weird). I just think it could be cool but now really necessary at all.

Wow. I wrote a lot. Feel free to coment in any of it.

[longitudinalwaveme]

DC Comics’ Portrayal of Mental Illness

 As you can probably ascertain from the general contents of this blog, I am a huge fan of DC comics (and, more specifically, of the Flash). I am also a psychology major who is on the autism spectrum and has struggled with Social Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. As such, I have a...complicated relationship with comic books that discuss mental illness. 

Of course, of all the comics that deal with mental illness, Batman is undoubtedly the most prominent, and, as such, is the easiest target for criticism. The more a comic book talks about mental illness, the more opportunities it has to get stuff wrong. Since there are literally thousands of Batman comics out there and I don’t have the time to research them all, I will be using a 2001 Batman guidebook to give you a few examples of the things that it gets wrong about mental health (and psychology in general). 

To start, let’s talk about Arkham Asylum. Not only is its name anachronistic (virtually no mental heath facilities are called asylums anymore), but its depiction usually is as well: even a psychiatric hospital that doubled as a penal facility probably would not be located in an old Gothic-looking building that looks like it came straight out of a horror movie. It’s also worth noting that Arkham Asylum didn’t exist in the Batman mythos prior to 1974, and that originally, Two-Face and the Joker were the only two villains who went there. Prior to that point, everyone, even the Joker, just went to prison when they were caught (which, as we shall see, is actually probably more accurate for everyone except maaaybe modern Two-Face and the Mad Hatter). My suspicion is that it was introduced to capitalize on the popularity of the 1962 novel (and, once it was released, the 1975 movie) One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, which was about a psychiatric institution, but there were probably other factors involved, such as the popularity of works by H.P. Lovecraft (which is where the name Arkham came from). Whatever the reason, though, Arkham Asylum is really only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the misrepresentation of mental illness and mental health in Batman fiction. 

The introduction of Arkham Asylum led, increasingly, to the idea that all Batman villains were mentally ill, which, in turn, led to some...um....very inaccurate portrayals and depictions of what mental illness is and how it works. 

For example, the 2001 guidebook I am using incorrectly describes the Joker as “certifiably psychotic”. He’s not. While there are individual exceptions (we are talking about comic books, after all), in most appearances, the Joker is not psychotic. He has no apparent hallucinations and does not seem to display signs of delusions, either. He is not out of touch with reality in any meaningful way, he’s just horrifically violent. Describing him as “certifiably psychopathic” would have been much more appropriate (although you can’t technically diagnose someone with psychopathy; the condition he would be diagnosed with would be Antisocial Personality Disorder). 

In the same book, Two-Face is described as “schizoid” and “schizophrenic”, both of which are not even remotely correct. What the modern Two-Face is supposed to suffer from is Dissociative Identity Disorder (what used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder), although it’s not always portrayed terribly accurately. Schizoid Personality Disorder is not DID, and it’s not Schizophrenia, either; it’s a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships-basically people who are extreme loners. Similarly, Schizophrenia is not DID. While it is hypothetically possible for the two conditions to be comorbid, they are not at all the same thing. Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder characterized by delusions and hallucinations, which Two-Face almost never displays in fiction. DID is a dissociative disorder. Most people with DID do not experience delusions or hallucinations; their condition is typified by the presence of more than one personality and is thought to usually only occur as a reaction to severe childhood trauma. (Credit where credit is due: modern Two-Face is correctly shown as having experienced trauma as a child.) The fact that the term schizophrenia literally translates into “split mind” is probably the source of some of this confusion, but with schizophrenia, the split is between the mind and reality, not between the mind and itself. 

Also from this guidebook, the Riddler is, confusingly, described as having “an obsessive-compulsive desire for attention”, which, from a psychological perspective, is pretty much nonsense. Desire for attention is one thing; obsessive-compulsive disorder is another. The “obsessions” in OCD refer to intrusive, recurring thoughts, not to something that a person strongly desires and spends a lot of time pursuing. Additionally, the Riddler is described as “pondering the unsolvable riddle of his own psychosis”, which is not accurate. The Riddler consistently displays signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and less consistently displays signs of OCD, but neither one of these conditions is a psychotic disorder, as neither involves hallucinations or delusions. When the Riddler says he’s not psychotic, and that he’s perfectly sane, he’s completely right on both counts. He’s never displayed any evidence of a break from reality, so he’s not psychotic, and he’s almost always aware that what he’s doing is a crime, so he’s not insane, either. In fact, with the possible exceptions of the Mad Hatter, Man-Bat, and Two-Face, none of the Batman villains are insane, since they are all aware that what they’re doing is illegal when they do it. 

What makes the earlier mistakes in this particular guidebook even more mystifying to me is the fact that their description of Scarecrow, and, more impressively yet, Scarecrow’s fear toxin, is pretty much accurate. They don’t call him psychotic or label him with conditions he doesn’t have and they accurately identify his on-again off-again phobia of bats (Chiropteraphobia). It also describes his fear gas thusly: “a toxic mix of adreno-cortical secretions and strong hallucinogens...it prompts neuromuscular spasms, cardiac arrhythmia, and panic attacks”. This is an astonishingly accurate description of what his fear toxin would need to be made of and what it does to his victims’ bodies. I don’t know who wrote this section, but they deserve some serious credit for doing their homework! (It makes no sense to put the Scarecrow in Arkham. Not only is he neither psychotic nor insane, but putting an evil ex-psychologist in a psychiatric institution is a REALLY bad idea, as he has the know-how to easily manipulate both the doctors and the patients.) 

Also from the 2001 Guidebook: The Ventriloquist is described as having multiple personalities, and is NOT described as schizophrenic or schizoid. While the term Multiple Personality Disorder is no longer used by psychologists for diagnosis, it is at least describing the same condition as DID. Modern Firefly is described as a pyromaniac; this is accurate from what I know of the character. Mr. Zsasz is described as a “sociopath”; again, this is mostly accurate. 

I also decided to use a few other DC guidebooks and see if there were any other egregious mistakes: 

2015 Guidebook:

 Haha, “Lenny Snart”. (That has nothing to do with mental illness, I just thought it was funny.) 

 Dr. Polaris is described as suffering from “a split personality disorder”; they mean DID. It’s also worth noting that most people with DID do not have a “good” alter and an “evil” alter; having DID does not make you Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 

The Joker is described as “crazy” and “insane”; while the former is up for debate, I can say with confidence that the Joker meets no real-world definition of insanity that I know about. 

Riddler is not described as insane, yay!  

Two-Face is described as having Multiple Personality Disorder; this should be DID but is otherwise broadly correct. That being said, the idea that getting acid thrown in your face would cause you to develop a split personality, as this book seems to imply, is unlikely. DID doesn’t develop that suddenly. 

2016 Guidebook: 

While Doctor Polaris may very well have a personality disorder, the emergence of a second personality would indicate the development of DID, not  a personality disorder. An adult man couldn’t “develop’ a personality disorder anyway; they’re developed in childhood and are usually lifelong afflictions. 

Harley Quinn is a weird case; to call her psychotic isn’t completely inaccurate, as she has displayed signs of hallucinations and delusions in the past. That being said, the way her condition is depicted is inconsistent and confusing, and doesn’t seem to line up perfectly with any actual real-world condition. 

Modern Heat Wave is absolutely a pyromaniac; Johns in particular was surprisingly good at writing a realistic case of the condition. 

The Joker is not insane. Neither is the modern Joker’s daughter. Both understand what they’re doing is wrong. 

Lex Luthor is indeed a sociopath, as is the New 52 version of Mr. Freeze (BTAS Freeze is not). 

Two-Face’s condition should be described as DID, not MPD; otherwise things are about as accurate as one can expect from Two-Face. 

2008 Guidebook:

Calling Abra Kadabra narcissistic is accurate. 

The Black Manta autism thing is icky on multiple levels. Ewww.

The first Cheetah probably would not have suddenly developed a second personality as an adult. 

Dr. Polaris. You know the drill. Split personality should be DID. A “good” and “evil” alter are pretty unlikely. Usually DID would show up before adulthood. 

Firefly and Heat Wave do both seem to have pyromania. It’s also accurate to describe Heat Wave as cryophobic. 

The Joker cannot be “certifiably crazed”; crazed is not an official psychiatric term. And again, he isn’t insane, so he shouldn’t be in Arkham. 

Killer Croc has never displayed any noticeable signs of psychosis. 

Magenta having DID is actually more realistic than most of the other characters I’ve talked about; she’s got the necessary childhood trauma and her alters developed when she was still quite young. Furthermore, her more violent alter isn’t manically evil. 

Whoever wrote the Scarecrow piece in the 2001 Batman Guidebook must’ve also helped to write this one, since the shockingly-accurate fear gas description is the same. 

Professor Strange is not insane in the legal sense of the word. 

Arnold Wesker has DID; MPD is the condition’s original name but is no longer used by professional psychologists. 

Zoom (Hunter Zolomon, not Eobard)... I think there’s an argument to be made that Zolomon actually is psychotic. While he’s never displayed hallucinations, he is clearly delusional in the most literal sense and does seem to have lost touch with reality. As such, this book is not wholly inaccurate in calling him psychotic.

You get the idea....

Looking specifically at the Flash, things improve slightly simply because writers who don’t understand psychology aren’t constantly talking about it. That being said, that doesn’t mean it never gets brought up. 

Golden Glider was intended to receive a psychiatric evaluation in the late 1970s. It’s interesting that she actually protested this, pointing out that the male criminals never received psychological evaluations (and indeed, they always went to prison rather than to an institution). She was indeed motivated by something other than profit, and I can understand why they wanted to have her evaluated given her lack of earlier criminal activity, but I don’t know if she was actually mentally ill per se...and she definitely wasn’t insane. 

In the early 1980s during the twilight hours of Barry Allen’s first run on the Flash, it seemed that the writers were trying to take a page out of Batman’s book by arguing that Barry’s costumed criminals were insane (even though they usually didn’t display any behavior that would indicate this). As such, Barry stated to imply that his Rogues were mentally ill in some fashion despite the fact that their behavior really hadn’t changed appreciably since their earliest appearances. That being said, the Pied Piper did appear to suffer some sort of nervous breakdown during the “Trial of the Flash” arc; what exactly this was is difficult to explain, since we didn’t get to see a whole lot of him after this point, but he did go to an actual psychiatric hospital (that was referred to as such rather than being called an asylum) and he did recover, relapsed, then recovered again, making this one of the more accurate portrayals of how mental illness works despite the limited information we have about his actual condition. They even showed him slowly deteriorating over a period of time before the actual collapse!

Big Sir, who made his debut in the same storyline, was rather more poorly handled....but at least he was explicitly manipulated into villainy rather than becoming evil simply because of his condition. 

Wally West went to therapy early in his run; given the context I’d say it was reasonable that he was suffering from both anxiety and depression (his uncle had just died and he was really struggling to fill his shoes as the new Flash). Going to therapy did actually help him, which was nice to see, and his therapist did not become evil, which was also nice to see. (I’m not going to talk about Heroes in Crisis, as I prefer to pretend that that never happened.) Yay for protagonists discussing their mental health problems in productive ways! 

In the early-to-mid 1990s, Mark Waid wrote a story in which Lisa stated that she’d faked insanity in order to be sent to a psychiatric hospital rather than to prison, but the story seemed to be implying that she was actually insane. Not only is successfully being declared not guilty by reason of insanity incredibly difficult, but Lisa displayed no signs of not recognizing that her behavior was wrong, so she wasn’t insane. She was, however, displaying strong signs of paranoia, which could perhaps be attributed to a paranoid delusion of some sort. It’s especailly weird since this was never really a characteristic of hers before or since, and it just kind of came out of nowhere. 

The Trickster (specifically the first one, James Jesse) is often mistakenly believed to be mentally ill by casual fans. While he is indeed mentally ill, possibly even psychotic, in the DCAU,  and he’s a remorseless psychopath in both live-action Flash shows, in the comics themselves he displays no real signs of mental illness. That being said, I LOVE the interactions between DCAU Wally and DCAU Trickster. They’re made of adorable.

The Pied Piper went through a second bout of mental problems in the mid-to-late 2000s, being tricked into believing that he’d murdered his parents, going to prison, being beaten regularly by the warden, escaping from prison, going through the stress of fighting in the Rogue War, having his mind messed with by the Top, accidentally becoming involved in the murder of Bart Allen (another thing I like to pretend never happened), having to go on the run, watching the Trickster get shot in front of him, having to drag his corpse around a desert, almost dying, getting transported to Apocalypse, blowing it up with Queen music, and then being left basically all alone. He really went through a trauma conga line, so it’s not surprising that he was starting to display some odd behavior. Poor guy probably had PTSD. 

And then there’s the Top. Beyond the speculation of @gorogues that he’s on the autism spectrum (a  theory I find to be quite persuasive), I also think it’s likely that he suffers from another mental illness (most likely bipolar I disorder, also as suggested by @gorogues). He was clearly mentally ill for most of Geoff Johns’ run, and his behavior in his very first appearance was decidedly odd as well. Intense mania and depression can sometimes induce psychosis (as we seemed to see during Geoff Johns’ run), and his “threatening to blow up half the world to become its ruler while I’m somehow safe on the other side of the planet” plan from his first appearance, which he clearly expected to work perfectly, is so overconfident and over-the-top that it fits well as a particularly exaggerated manic episode. While it’s not conclusive by any means, I think it’s a distinct possibility.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Edward Nygma (Pre Riddler) x Fem!Reader || Oneshot

Title: Blind Double Date

Plot: 

You and your friend Mia have decided to have a sort of blind double date thing together where you find a date for her and she finds one for you. You’ve decided to ask Ed; The harmless, cute forensics guy at work.

Warnings: FULL FLUFF

~~~

“Good morning Ed!” As you walk into the forensics lab, you quickly find your target in the corner eating his breakfast with gloves and his goggles on. An amused smile struggles to find its place on your mouth but you try to hide it- funny guy, Ed is.

But that doesn’t mean theirs anything wrong with him. You honestly have never understood why anyone would bully him- all he does is his job! And he bares riddles, too! What’s not to appreciate? You happen to like listening to his riddles and giving them a go, even if most of the time the answer evades you. It still tickles you when he tells you, and it makes him happy to get to ask them, too.

Plus, he isn’t bad to look at, and he’s very sweet.

Which is why you’ve chosen him to ask as Mia’s date tonight. Yes tonight. You’ve left it, in pure homework-style, to the last minute to find a guy and ask him. But you’re pretty sure she’s done the same thing, so you don’t feel too bad. You just hope you can butter Ed up enough that he says yes!

“Good morning Miss L/N.” Ed smiles, giving a little waive as he sets his McMuffin back down on a little plate of glad wrap on the corner bench so he can talk to you.

You’re aware of his unfortunate feelings for Kristen -unfortunate because she doesn’t share these feelings, -, which of course could prove an obstacle… but like you said! You plan to butter him up plenty before popping the question. “Any riddles today?”

He beams. “Yes, I do, in fact. Would you like to hear it?”

��’Course!”

“If you drop me, I’m sure to crack. But, smile at me and I’ll be sure to smile back. What am I?”

With only a moment of thought, you set your fists on your hips and peer up at him with a good, humoured stink eye, squaring up to the beanpole. “Ed, are you dumbing down your riddles for me? A mirror!” A tiny grin tugs at the corners on his mouth, avoiding eye contact with you.

“Figured you prefer to get them right.”

“Psh.” You roll your eyes, grin stretching into something wider. Then you cross your arms and lean forward. “I have one for you, now.”

“Oh, really?” He looks a little excited, and its adorable especially behind the goggles he’s still wearing. You resist the urge to giggle, though, and nod. “Fire away, then.”

“Okay, hold on, let me remember.” Pausing a moment, you look at the counter to remember the words. You have to get this right, to provide the perfect jumping off point for asking him out. “Okay, you see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on the boat. How is it possible?”

Ed’s eyes shine and you know he’s heard it before; His eye sonly look like that when he’s about to give the right answer and feel smart doing it. Taking off the goggles and replacing his glasses over his eyes, he grins. “All the people are married couples.”

“Exactly, and Ed! Wouldn’t you like to be one of those people?” I’m going for it. No need to be shy- shoot your shot like a used car salesperson.

Immediately, the forensics guy looks completely flabbergasted and he stutters like he really is confused, for once. “What- what??”

Having the humility and poise to look a little moor mellow, you lean my lower back on one of the benches stretching across the wall and focus on the table in the middle of the room. You’ve seen many, many dead bodies on this table. “Well, my friend Mia and I are setting up a sort of… blind double date, I guess. She’s finding someone for me, and I’m looking for a guy for her and we’re gonna go out as a group. Safer than online dating, right? Well I was looking around the precinct for a guy, and… “ Turning to look across your shoulder and up at Ed, who looks curious but still hesitant-and ready to be more hesitant, - , you set him with a mischievous look. “Ed. Edward.”

“This doesn’t sound like a good idea… “He starts to refuse, looking away from you and back at his McMuffin, but you’re not giving up that easily. You haven’t put all your cards down on the table yet! But still, you don’t want to make him uncomfortable because you know this isn’t his thing, so you force yourself to stay in one spot and not look too desperate. Which, quite honestly, you are. The date is tonight!! You’ll end up having to take Harvey, and as sexy as he is, he isn’t your friend’s type.

“Ed, you’re perfect! Safe, for one; You’re a sweetie. And that’s not something I can for sure say about whoever Mia’s got for me- she works at the paper. And Mia loves riddles!” Well, ‘love’ might be a stretch, but she does have an appreciation for them like you. “And you’re the best-looking guy in the precinct.”

That seems to shock him, and he looks up again to blink behind his glasses. “What?”

“Well, yeah.” You shrug; Is it a secret? Dark hair, dark eyes, tall- what is not to like, here? “I mean, you’re on parr with Gordon, but that guy’s damn near married!” You grin, biting your bottom lip as you continue to look across the room rather then at Ed- but then turn and wink at him. “Besides, I like you better. Would much rather spend a night hanging with you then with Jimmy, he’s a bit of a workaholic you know?” Smiling genuinely, you give him an almost-awkward thumb up.

“Uhh… “Hesitant and full-awkward, Ed actually looks to be thinking about it now, looking away from your gaze once again. You don’t mind if he doesn’t keep eye contact- makes you feel like you’re being interrogated when the cops around here do that. Very weird. “I’m- I’m not sure. I’m not… very good… with the opposite sex… “

“You’re great with me!” You exclaim encouragingly, watching a tiny flicker of a grin pass over his lips as he looks down at the ground. “Come on, I’ll be there with you the whole time. Unless of course my date goes really well,” He looks up and you wink, grinning cheekily. Then an idea occurs to you, and you gasp. “I’ll even come over a bit early and help you prepare!”

Letting him think to himself for a couple minutes while you get out your phone and check for messages and periodically watch the door for other cops and forensics people. Finally, Ed lets out a deep breath and turns to face you again. You hold your breath, chewing on your bottom lip. “… Okay. I’ll go with you and Mia on this date. But you have to come over before.”

You let out a relieved breath. “Thank you, Ed! Sure thing. I’ll see you at yours at 6, the dates at 7. I’ll get your information outta the database- thank you so much Ed!” With a quick hug, and one last smile, you leave him back to his breakfast. “Enjoy your brecky and have a good day Ed! See ya!”

Ed just smiles a little smile, watching you leave before switching his glasses for the goggles again and goes to continue his breakfast. “I wonder… did I say yes for the right reasons?”

Through the corner of his eye, he catches his reflection grin smugly and shake his head.

He tries to ignore it.

~~~TIME SKIP: Later that day, at Ed’s apartment~~~

When Ed had answered the door in a plain t-shirt and sweat pants, you had been worried for half a second that he had changed his mind and that you had forced him to say yes to something he didn’t want to do, but then he quickly explained that he didn’t know what to wear.

Which was such an easy issue to remedy!

“There!” You exclaim when he comes out of the bathroom in the outfit you two came to an agreement on. You’re sitting on the end of his bed, munching on pretzels and smile encouragingly at your friend. “You clean up even nicer, Ed.”

“Thank you… “Grinning with pride, like a bird ruffling his feathers, Ed looks once more at his reflection and flattens out his emerald tie-his favourite colour, as you’ve come to realise. Its all over his apartment, and his wardrobe, - then he comes over to sit beside you and tie up his shoes. “Uh- Miss L/N, question? If you don’t mind.”

Swallowing 3 more little pretzels and picking out 2 more, eating like a marathon runner… if by running one meant eating. “Fire away.” Still bent over his knees tying up his laces, Ed does so.

“Why are you eating? I thought we were meeting up with the others for dinner.”

Waiting to finish the latest 2 pretzels, you cover your mouth and look embarrassed as you chew away quickly so you can reply. When you’re done, you laugh nervously and set the bag down in your lap. “Oh. Haha. I don’t want y’all to see me gorging myself when we’re out. Also, if I’m too full when I’m there to buy an actual meal, I save money on a potentially terrible date by just buying a bowl of chips or something. On the 3rd date, I might buy myself a proper meal.”

Ed sits up, setting his hands on his knees. “I don’t think anyone would mind seeing you eat properly, Miss L/N.”

“Uh… yeah, I don’t really think so either… Hah, but, I’m still a lil’ insecure you know?” Its nothing to be embarrassed about- you’re insecure! Everyone is about something. Besides, Ed’s easy to talk to. You know he wont judge you. Picking out another pretzel, you pop it in your mouth and enjoy the salty taste, offering Ed the bag in case he wants some.

“Oh, thank you.” He’s temporarily distracted from your confession by the snack, making your grin at how cute he is as he politely takes a singular pretzel. For a moment, you two just sit there and eat in companionable silence, and its nice. You look at him for a second, in his date pants and sweater, before looking around his apartment. Its pretty nice, you have to say. A little grungy looking, but in a fashionable way unlike the rest of Gotham. You can imagine the sporadic helicopter search lights that are normal in Gotham city probably look really cool flashing in through the full wall of windows. “Well I have leftover potatoes from my dinner last night that I could have now,” Ed finally wonders out loud, and when you look at him he’s ready to get up and go get them. Quickly, you put a hand on his arm to stop him, causing him to look over at you and wait for an explanation.

“Oh, Ed! No, I didn’t mean you had to as well!”

“But if it’s considered impolite to eat on a first date- “

“No! Ed, that’s just my silly thing. Mia and the other guy’ll eat like King’s. I promise you.” Encouragingly, and half apologetically, you squeeze his arm. “You need to eat a proper meal. As your friend, I won’t have it any other way.” You say the last part sternly.

“Hah. Well in that case I have to insist that you, Miss Y/N, have the same.”

Your jaw drops when Ed takes your bag of pretzels, zips it up again and gets up to put them away in the kitchen. Watching with wide eyes and a disbelieving smile on your face, you see him use his height as a weapon, get on his tip toes and put the bag away in the back of a top shelf. When he turns around, he grins evilly at you. You throw one right back at him, albeit less superior and put your fists on your hips. “Edward Nygma!”

He finds his place sitting next you again, this time a little closer and facing you, leaning on his hands that are on the bed between you so he’s sort of leaning toward you as well. For a second, you suffer a small heart fluttering stroke, but quickly push it aside and sigh in surrender, rolling your eyes. You look forward again, then turn back and smile at him.

“Do you have another riddle for me before we get going?”

Maybe you’re putting off leaving this apartment. A little.

His eyes shine, like they always do when you ask him for a riddle. “Of course, I do. What question can you never say yes to?”

“Ed!” You exclaim immediately, exasperated. “Another easy one! We’re gonna have to have a conversation about my IQ, sir. I assure you it’s larger than what you give me credit for.”

“I don’t doubt that Miss L/N.” He smiles, a bit bigger than his usual little grin. “I just like how happy you get when you can answer a riddle correctly- Don’t worry, I’ll adjust my criteria for riddles for you to make them more challenging from now on.”

How… how can he be so bluntly sweet and not even realise it?

Sighing deeply in frustration at yourself, you look away from Ed’s handsome, sweet, smart self and momentarily hate yourself. Sorry Mia. I can’t do this. “Oh Ed… I’ve made an awful mistake.”

“Oh?” He adjusts his glasses, confused. “About what?”

“Uhh… “Time to escape!! Go home!! Contemplate your total and utter hopelessness and misery on your own, Y/N! You get up from the bed and pick up your bag and your coat, backing up to the door out of Ed’s apartment. He gets up to follow you, but you hold out a hand and gesture for him to sit back down. “I just can’t go out tonight. I have, uh, cramps. So, um… I’m really sorry for ruining your night!” Bumping into the door, you whip your head around to look at it and flash a nervous smile back at Ed before turning to it. “So sorry… “What is wrong with you, Y/N?

“Miss L/N!”

Before you know it, Ed’s crossed the room and basically trapped you between him and the door. For a second, apology and nerves cross his features but then he moves on. “Miss L/N, are you okay? I, I can make you some herbal tea to help soothe- “

“No, no, Ed, its okay. I just need to sleep- “

“Y/N.” His eyes darken unbelievably for a second and the forceful way his voice bends around your name, your first name, causes you to stop talking and look properly at him again, waiting for what he has to say. As quickly as that dark, forceful look came, it gone again though and Ed drops his forward a bit as if exhausted. “Miss L/N forgive me for my vigour. Um, I just… I wanted to say… uh, before you leave, that um, uh, I… “Your heart lifts as he stutters through gibberish, and you tilt your head to side to try and see his face. “I want to admit something.”

You’re nervous about what he’s going to say. “You don’t have to… “

“I disagree. Um,” He looks up at you again finally, and you see shyness in his eyes, but determination also. “I want to admit, to you, that… my reasons for agreeing to go on this date, were uh… biased. I have little to no interest in your friend Mia, I’m sorry. I just wanted to spend more time with you.”

Eyes widening slightly, you watch Ed look down again and take his hands off the wall on either side of your head, letting them sit stiffly at his sides as he looks idly around the room as he waits for a response. Because of this, he misses the way your lips turn up in a smile. Relief washes over you, and happiness. He likes you, too!

“Uh, Ed?” You whisper, leaning back on the door now. You’re not leaving. “Look at me?”

“Yes?” He looks at you again, finding your eyes and your smile and breathing in deeply at the sight, surprised. Relieved.

After a moment, you give in to the urges that have only become stronger today then they ever were before - in fact, before today you didn’t even know they were there. But now you can safely identify all those weird smile you couldn’t help when you looked at the forensics guy, - , you pull him gently closer to you and lean up, kissing him gently on the lips.

Almost instantly, this boy presses closer so you’re on the door again between it and his, kissing you back tenderly so when you stop, there are bright beams on both your faces. Grinning, you adjust your grip on his sweater. “I think you're going to have to start calling me Y/N, now.” 

“Yeah, that would be appropriate, wouldn't it?” Then Ed’s eyes widen. “I should make you the herbal tea. Your cramps.”

Lying very transparently, you bite the inside of your cheek guilty and tell him “They’re cured.”.

“This is going to be awkward for you to explain to your friend.”

“She’ll live.”

“Do you want to watch some TV with me then?”

“I’d love to.”  

[maxdark158]

Angel in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Ao3

Demon in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Ao3

Fanart for AiG: Riddler ~ Joker thank you @thegreysman

Please tag me in any fanart you draw for this guys ^^

hi. it’s been a while. let’s get into the actual chapter then.

oooOOOooo

Marinette wasn’t used to houses as large as the Wayne Manor – that much was clear. Her eyes were wide when she first took everything in. He didn’t take her on a tour, he knew Todd and Drake were somewhere in the mansion and he didn’t want her meeting them until she was ready.

Her jaw did drop when Alfred showed her their kitchen though. Her expression almost made him regret his decision to not give her a tour. The faces she would have possibly made looking at the grand halls and rooms or would have been- not worth Todd and Drake.

Hence the almost.

Marinette seemed to adjust to her surroundings quickly enough. Perhaps the food Alfred managed to make quickly helped with that. She seemed delighted by the taste.

“My parents don’t make these often,” she mumbled, munching on her blondie. “White chocolate is usually used for decoration.”

“I’m glad the daughter of bakers can enjoy my desserts,” Alfred seemed to like her, which was good. He wouldn’t do anything to keep the other two away from her though. Alfred did little to mitigate possible damage done by siblings.

He left after that, though Marinette kept asking if he wanted to eat with them. Damian wasn’t sure why Alfred was so hell-bent on leaving them alone. Unlike Marinette, he didn’t buy that, “I already ate,” bullshit.

However his glare didn’t exactly work through walls, so he instead talked to his an- Marinette.

They talked about a lot of things. What she was planning to do with the fabrics she bought while they were out, she had designs based off Gotham’s superheroes, based off him and his family too but they aren’t as important, then how much free time she would have given where her field trip would be taking her over the course of the rest of her days here, he took a mental note of locations and times she mentioned so he could possibly spend more ti- spring her from spending time with that awful class, which led into what she liked about Gotham so far and what she wanted to see before leaving, which he also made note of. For other reasons- not those reasons though, just other reasons in general. To make sure they were safe.

She seemed happy.

It was a good look for her.

Wait, what the fu-

“Can you help me clean up?” she asked, startling Damian out of his own mental interrogation. He’ll return to it later, it seems.

“Sure,” he picked up his empty plate. Alfred happened to choose that moment to return and help clean up, so the mother fucker was clearly fucking listening in. Bitch.

They cleaned for a few wordless moments before Marinette spoke again.

“Do your brothers know we’re here?” she asked Damian while she took the glasses to the kitchen. Damian trailed after her with the plates.

“No, and we can leave before they find out if we’re quick about it,” maybe she changed her mind about meeting them. He wouldn’t blame her.

“What if I’d like to meet them?” she teased. “They sound fun!”

Fucking fuck fuck.

“Alright Angel, if you’re sure,” he pursed his lips, “but if you want to leave for any reason, just tell me.”

“Master Damian, I do believe that Miss Marinette is capable of taking care of herself,” Alfred almost seemed to be chiding him.

This just in, Alfred is fucking dead to him now.

He began putting the plates in the dishwasher, because unlike fucking Todd, he doesn’t just drop them in the fucking sink and walk away like a heathen.

“What he said, Damian,” Marinette giggled. “I’ll be fine. They can’t be worse than the Riddler or Hawkmoth, and I survived those two.”

Is that how she approaches every situation? Well, it can’t be worse than the fucking Butterfly Terrorist in Paris or the Green Guy with Deadly Riddles! He realized he was gripping the plate in his hands too hard and forced himself to relax.

Then he saw who was behind hi- Marinette.

“Todd,” he didn’t growl, which is a point to him. Todd fucking smirked too, and Damian didn’t murder him. Another point.

“Demon Spawn! I thought you went somewhere else!” He glanced down at Marinette. “Timmy! The Riddler girl is here!”

Of fucking course Drake wanted to talk to Marinette. Of fucking course.

Drake ran in like a fucking lunatic. He is a fucking lunatic but that doesn’t mean he has to run like one. He can run like a normal person just fucking fine. Damian heard him break something on his way to the kitchen, adding to the needlessness of his theatrics. He fought back a sigh and put the last plate away.

“Holy sh-

“Language,” Alfred tutted. Like he fucking cared about fucking language after the Swear Jar Incident.

“You’re actually here! I didn’t think Damian would let you near us!” Damian almost grabbed the dirty plate out of the dishwasher and smashed it against Drake’s head. “I’m Tim Drake-Wayne!”

“Jason Todd-Wayne,” Damian’s least favorite brother said.

No, that wasn’t fair to Drake. They were both his least favorite family member.

Marinette seemed to hesitate for a moment. Her eyes widened briefly, like she had come to a realization. Damian mentally screamed when he found the expression cute. She isn’t cute she’s just his friend who is attractive but he isn’t attracted to her he can just acknowledge the fucking fact-

Then, she smiled. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng! A pleasure to meet you!”

Drake practically fell over himself trying to get the words out. “So you solved The Riddler’s riddle, right?” Tim asked. “Like, knew what the answer was?”

Marinette nodded. “He probably googled it. A toddler could do better.”

Damian frowned. Did… did she not consider the Riddler a serious villain? Did she not realize that his riddles were meant to be difficult…

Did she not realize how impressive it was that she solved it, especially since it was a play on a language that isn’t her first?

Drake lit up at her nonchalance, likely excited that she considered an intelligent adversary easy to defeat. Fuck that shit.

“Drake, don’t harass her with your questions!” he snapped. Because what the fuck. She was his friend first anyway she doesn’t have to be interrogated.

“I’m not!”

“You are!”

“She isn’t uncomfortable-”

“You’re asking about her first and only encounter with a villain of course she is-”

“Are you even looking at her she isn’t-”

“So fucking what if she doesn’t look uncomfortable? You can’t demand the details of something like that for no good god damn reason-”

“You know I have a good reason, you motherfucking asshole-”

“Sure!” he heard Marinette practically shout and-

Wait what?

“What?” Damian asked, interrupting Tim during their argument.

Marinette turned toward him while Todd slung an arm over her shoulder like they were best fucking friends or something. No they fuck they’re not. “Freckles here just agreed to spar with me!”

What.

She turned her head to look at him. “Freckles?”

What.

“It’s your nickname. ’Cause you’ve got Freckles.”

What the fuck is this fuckery?

Damian heard Drake stifle a laugh behind him. The bitch. Damian opened his mouth to argue or say something or stop this because what the fuck Todd but Drake beat him to it.

“Do you seriously want to duel her because she beat The Riddler?” Drake scoffed.

Damian wasn’t sure what he expected but that was disappointing regardless. What the fuck, Drake? Argue better than that!

“You wanted to question her because she solved his riddles!” Todd continued to try and defend the indefensible. “Plus-”

“Todd,” Damian hissed, because they needed to have a talk about not hurting hi- Marinette, it seemed.

“Yeah demon spawn?” Todd sounded fucking bored of all things.

Damian opened his mouth to start his argument when he was interrupted again – was it shit on Damian day today? – wait Marinette is talking-

“-I agreed to it,” she told him, her own beautiful eyes meeting his. “Plus, akuma are typically much larger than me anyway. It’s not like I’m going to break from someone as small as Jason!”

Damian blinked. His brothers laughed but he blinked and tensed a bit. What the hell does she mean akuma are typically bigger than- what are they? He assumed it was some type of gang and while it isn’t that hard to be bigger than his an- Marinette are they all as large as Jason? Larger? How many akuma are there? How much bigger are they? He forced his body to relax. He needed to focus on the now, research this akuma gang headed by a butterfly loving lunatic later.

“We have a gym down the hall,” Drake helpfully said. Todd was still giggling because he thought it was so fucking funny haha bitch. Damian continued to glare. It wouldn’t technically be murder if Todd were killed by a glare, right? Damian didn’t even have powers, so clearly it couldn’t have been him…

“Do you know your IQ?” Tim asked. Like a fucking creep with no concept of personal space or privacy Drake what the ever-loving fuck.

His a- Marinette was rightfully confused by the invasive question but instead of telling Drake to fuck off she was nicer and answered his question. “No, I don’t think I ever took the test.”

Damian was walking ahead of them with Todd to make sure he didn’t pull any funny business but seriously, bitch, mind your own business- “Do you have any measurement of your problem-solving skills?”

Damian didn’t murder anymore. Especially his brothers. Especially especially in front of his- an ang- Marinette. He was tense though, Todd gave him a *look* and he just glared more.

“My parents don’t like playing strategy games with me,” she seemed to be reminiscing something.

“You always win?” Drake asked. She nodded.

“Hey Timmy, stop holding Freckles up!” Todd called from where they were at the gym door.

“Alright, alright,” Drake grumbled. The other two sped up and soon entered the gym.

It was standard, smaller than the one he grew up using. The sparring mat was in the center, which was what Damian assumed Todd planned to use for this unnecessary battle.

Todd took off his jacket and took a position on the mat. Hi- Marinette followed suit, setting her purse near his jacket. When she took a position, it was off slightly.

Todd lunged, Marinette ducked his punch and maneuvered behind him, driving an elbow into his back. He dodged, barely, and went for a swipe under her feet.

She tripped, but he saw her maneuvering her fall so she wasn’t hurt.

Seems she wanted to end this early too.

“Well, that was fu-”

“You can do better than that!” Drake cried. “There’s no way that’s it.”

“Drake,” Damian grumbled. He should just let her lose if she wants! He knows Jason isn’t really trying either, none of them would really try on a civilian. He was still wor- god damn it.

Todd seemed to pause as if his brain needed to process the information like a slow computer. “Wait, you weren’t really trying?”

“I-” she hesitated, “What makes you think that wasn’t my best?”

“The Riddler is bad at combat,” Drake leaned against the wall acting like a fucking know it all bitch and seriously? “But he’s better than that. Why are you holding back?”

“She can hold back if she wants to,” Damian would really appreciate someone not being an idiot here.

“Jason wanted to see how good she is,” Drake retorted. “If she’s holding back, it’s like purposefully failing a test or losing a game!”

“No, it’s not!” Marinette responded hotly, almost… competitive?

“Why are you not trying to win, Freckles?” Todd asked. “This is sort of a competition.”

Damian saw something shift in his Angel’s demeanor… Seems she’s competitive too. He filed that information away.

She got up and assumed a better position. “Fine then,” she huffed.

Todd got into position and this time, she attacked first.

She went for a fake punch to the throat. He grabbed her fist to block and she grabbed onto his other hand to swing onto his shoulders. He attempted to pull her down with the hand she grabbed but she managed to remove it from his grip and grab it with her own.

“What the hell!”

Todd’s wrists were held by her. He didn’t shake her grip off him, though he could if he were trying. He was attempted to buck her off his shoulders, but Marinette’s legs wrapped around him too tight to be shaken off. As he struggled to get her to let go, she began to swing around to make him lose balance.

He didn’t have his arms to stabilize him or catch his fall. His bucking made his lack of balance worse, and with several curses, he began falling backward. Marinette let go of his trapped hands mid-fall flipped off him, somehow dodging his head.

When Todd landed face-first on the mat looking incredibly pathetic even if he could still win, she was there quick as lightning, pinning his arms behind him and his legs with her weight.

“I win,” she grinned.

Todd responded with more muffled curses.

She got off of him and helped him up. After he was standing, she glanced at him and Drake.

Drake’s mouth was open, being overdramatic again for no fucking reason, really it was cool to see a civilian do that though but that doesn’t mean Drake gets to be impressed!

“Holy hell what are they teaching you in Paris?” Todd grumbled, pupping his back.

Marinette bit her lip. “I’m sorry-”

“Why?” Todd asked. “I asked for you to fight me. This was fun even if I got a mouthful of matt.”

“Do you work out?” Drake asked, again with the questions!

“Not regularly,” she responded. “But my parents own a bakery and the flour bags are heavy. Plus, sometimes someone orders a huge cake, and those can get heavy too!”

Drake nodded, likely filing that information away to write some fucking biography on her because she’s oh so impressive for a civilian- she *is* but Drake can fucking leave her alone!

Todd spoke up because since he died he had a death wish. “Hey Demon Spawn, are you rebooting or something?”

Damian scrambled for an excuse, as I’m mentally murdering you and Drake is typically an unacceptable answer. No it wasn’t but he wouldn’t say that around his Ang- Marinette. “Apologies. I’m a bit surprised, as I didn’t see Marinette actually fight The Riddler, I didn’t know what she was capable of.”

“What?” Marinette seemed to snap out of a train of thought suddenly, “I’m sorry I zoned out.”

“You-“ are really impressive.

“He said you did a good job, Freckles,” Todd fucking interrupted him how dare he. But also thank you- god, this was all because of that fucking worry wasn’t it? Fucking god damn worry was poisoning his every thought and action.

“Thank you,” Marinette smiled.

“Okay since that’s over now,” Drake rubbed his hands together. “Marinette-”

“Please tell me none of you died,” Father walked in, surveying the room. “Huh. I’m surprised there isn’t any blood. Alfred told me you were sparring.”

“Jason decided to spar Damian’s girl-”

“Marinette,” Damian interrupted, she’s not his *girl* what the fuck, she’s his friend- “My friend Marinette.”

Bruce Wayne sees her for the first time and Marinette has to shake off the feeling of being analyzed.

“She’s the girl that punched Riddler in the throat,” Drake says unhelpfully.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” she goes to shake his hand. He takes it and shakes. Good, his father isn’t dead to him then. Alfred still has to make up for some shit.

“She won against Todd by the way,” Damian decided to add. Father stiffened a bit. They both knew Todd was going easy on her, but it was still interesting.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Father says. “Alfred wanted to invite you to stay for dinner.”

Since when was that a fucking thing? And *why*? What was Alfred’s fucking angle? Damian’s eyes narrowed. If he thought this would make it up to hi- shit she’s talking.

“-ze, but I must be returned to my class by five-thirty pm.”

“Uh, it’s four forty now,” Todd points out, “How long is the drive, Freckles?”

Marinette pales. “I should probably head back-”

“I’ll go with you,” Damian didn’t want to be around his brothers, he knew they’d find something to tease him about regarding Marinette. “Alfred can drive us if that is alright with you.” He was still the most trusted driver even if he’s currently dead to him right now.

“Thanks for inviting me over,” she smiled and Damian felt… oddly warm. Was he sick?. She turned to his brothers and father, “It was wonderful to meet you guys!”

“I’ll win the sparring match next time, Freckles,” Todd told her. Was he going to hold back less or something? He better fucking not.

Drake said something about another invasive idea for a test that Damian would deal with later, when he could use his sword. “You better come back,” he said out loud. Why the hell would he demand things of her?

“I’d love to return if I’m invited.”

“When,” he told her.

She managed to smile again. “When.”

At this rate, there wouldn’t be a fucking when if this shit happens every time.

They left the room and Alfred led them to the car. He allowed the silence as she didn’t appear to want to talk. Maybe she wanted to relax? He wasn’t sure, so he didn’t start a conversation. Was he overthinking things? Weedkiller, he’d get the fucking weedkiller soon...

“The brothers I met were nice,” she began to talk suddenly, she must want a conversation. “They seem annoying-”

“You can say that again,” he grumbled automatically.

“-but they seem like decent brothers,” she finished. “They’re fun people too.”

Damian shrugged. “Sometimes.” Like when he’s using them for target practice.

There was more silence. But now he’s thinking, well wondering? He’s thinking and wondering and-

“Do you have secrets?” he asked suddenly and Fucking fuck fuck he shouldn’t ask that what the fuck he was mad at Drake for the invasive questions real fucking hypocritical of him huh- “You don’t have to tell me, obviously, but you’re aware that there are things I’m not comfortable telling you yet and-”

“I have secrets,” she interrupted his fucking worried rambling he would kill the worry he swears. “Maybe I’ll tell you someday.”

Oh. That… To earn enough of her trust like that… Damian smiled slightly, even if it felt foreign on his face. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wish to, Angel. It’s only fair that I give you what you’re giving me.”

Marinette grinned wide. “Thank you.”

Maybe he could get a bit more used to smiling, seeing a smile like that…

“We have arrived,” Alfred said from the front seat. Damian was shocked, glanced out the window and- oh, they have arrived… he was disappointed, but only in his inability to realize himself. Nothing else. Nothing. At all. Nothing.

He got out with her, and a moment of clumsiness seemed to overtake her. She tripped over Damian’s feet.

“Oh my- I’m so sorry,” her accent was heavier, she must be struggling to speak a second language while… embarrassed?

“It’s alright Angel,” he should try to soothe the embarrassment, right? Is that how that worked? She seemed tense as he helped her up, and she turned to face him and- is she alright?

“Is something wrong?” he was worried.

“I’m okay,” she said, brushing off her knees. “I used to fall like that all the time, but I’m okay, I promise.”

“If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“I won’t.”

After some hesitation, she left. She walked back into the building, safe and unharmed. He got back into the car and Alfred drove them back to the manor.

oooOOOooo

It was easy to slip into the building unnoticed. Well, not unnoticed, the jester did kill the man behind the desk and leave him there. But he died with a smile on his face. They’d all die with a smile on their faces. And this would be fun for the jester too. the jester would have a lot of fun, so much fun, so much fun, a lot of so much fun you see…

The jester waited behind the desk with the lights off. Another girl was there. Not the one the jester wanted, no no not yet. But perhaps she’d join her little friend. The jester would get two. Have even more fun.

The jester grinned, hidden by the dark. But soon the jester wouldn’t be. And it would be so, so much fun.

[optimisticcritique]

Gotham 4x22 - Review

Better late than never? I had a fever when watching this so...we’ll see how this goes. 

Intense scene. “Promise?” I doubt she will die but this breaks my heart. Poor Selina :(

I have a hunch Bruce won’t be able to keep that promise.

All the cops giving Jeremiah the death stare.

“We couldn’t talk with his girlfriend bleeding all over him” Hmm...well, maybe you shouldn’t have shot her then?

“I am a very good engineer” So modest. I’m curious how well he would get along with Ed :P

Jeremiah’s obsession with Bruce never seizes to amaze me. Such a contrast to Jerome. Jerome wanted Bruce to suffer and die, Jeremiah wants Bruce to suffer and then become dark as he joins him.

Hugo Strange! They skipped finding him and threatening him and went straight to this!

I’m surprised Hugo automatically knows how to cure him. Has this happened before? Is there another Grundy running around?

This is not going to work out well for them. No couple gets a happy ending in Gotham. 

“What? No, she’s in surgery. I’m going to go kill Jeremiah!” Haha well, that figures. You go, Tabby! I do love how much she cares for Selina. She has such a heart for her.  

I am suspicious of what Oswald will do when Tabitha leaves. He’s being too nice. I sense betrayal.

Well, hello Ra’s. That’s not creepy at all. I wouldn’t be surprised if that is how he meets his best friends. 

And another mayor bites the dust. At what point will people refuse to become mayor and they’ll have to draw names out of a hat to make someone take the role?

The way violence seems to un-faze Jeremiah. It’s like a punch to the face or a push to the wall means nothing.

Arrest Jim? Well, that’s a little extreme for disagreeing. 

“It’s polite to let people finish” Yeah Jim, he has barely gotten to give riddles this season. Don’t ruin it!

“RISE AND SHINE! Good morning sweetheart” First off, the sweetheart ;) Second, I will not be surprised if people start setting this as their ringtones. 

“Remember when you punched me in the face?” *slaps him dramatically* Wow, even his slaps are extra. 

“We are a little pressed for time” *laughs at his own joke* ...wow, this is probably the most relatable Ed has ever been.  

Ed with his long and extreme ways of killing someone. 

I hate the motive but I do love seeing Ed go full on like this :)

So...does Ra’s really turn out the lights for dramatic effect? Is there someone working for him that turns it off? Ra’s: ready? go! Man: *turns off light* Ra’s: *fights people* Man: *turns it back on* Me: Bet he’s fun at parties.

Some of his power is off? Hmm...I still don’t understand the whole point of this Babs and the painting of the look alike. 

This all just points to Ra’s totally trying to use her for the power. 

What? This guy doesn’t even care anything about Jim at all? I mean, I know he isn’t exactly priority but still...

“Closer Please. Closer” I just expect him to keep saying this until they are face to face. 

Destined as best friends? Well, you’re destined as something alright...

The wink XD With his bad eye, no less

I sincerely doubt that was the only bomb that was planted.

The way Jeremiah talks about Selina. Savage! 

Wow, Lee is acting so calm about this. 

“I am going to decide who I am going to be. Not you, not Jim Gordon.” Yes! Love it.

Lee is totally manipulating Ed by pretending not to care if Ed kills him so that she saves Jim’s life. It’s too obvious.

“She chose me” Umm not exactly Ed. 

“One question: who do I get to kill?” Oh, Oswald, strutting in and ready to fight. He just couldn’t stay away. 

Alfred, Babs, Tabby, and Oswald all working together? I love it!

Better hope Ed isn’t secretly listening to all this. 

Honestly, at this point, I want Lee to be done with these romances. I just want her to be happy and independent for awhile.

Basically, Ra’s and his plan is “meh” to Jeremiah. He’s just all in it for Bruce. 

“The brother I never had” “...together” aww how twistedly sweet of you. 

Oh, so now he cares what happened when Jim was taken? 

Just listen to Jim! 

I love seeing the GCPD being so loyal. They have come a long way. 

The demon’s head not working I guess is the convenient way to explain how they all get the drop on him.

Ha! I love how Oswald is the only one screaming as he shoots the gun, while everyone else just runs in. Honestly, it wouldn’t be an episode of Gotham if he didn’t. 

Wait, Oswald shot Jeremiah and saved Tabby? I’m just...that seems so weirdly nice. This is the same person that murdered his mother and yet he’s doing this. Not like they would let Tabby die though. Is that the surprising thing for RLT? Him saving her? My memory of the interview is so vague all of sudden. No...it has to be a bad thing. This can’t be it. 

Are you kidding me? They stab and kill him again? I mean, I never LOVED Ra’s but he was barely even alive! 

That grin on Jeremiah. I oddly love how devilish it looks. 

*Lee stabs Ed* What?! Oh, I did not see this coming. *Ed stabs Lee* Double stabbing! That one I was expecting. 

Seriously? A kiss now? 

So, in 4x14, Ed almost killed himself so that he wouldn’t try to kill Lee...now here we have Lee and Ed trying to kill each other. How poetic.

Whoa! Butch is back! ...Is he about to die? 

I’m kind of sad by how kind of shallow it is that Tabby doesn’t say “I love you” until he is back to being Butch. Also a bit sad by how confusing the relationship status is with Babs/Tabby too.  

*Oswald shoots him* Wow, he actually did it!

“Did you think I forgot that you murdered my mother?” Oh my god... YES. I mean, it’s sad that Butch is dead and I love Drew but like...I was just thinking about how Tabby killed Gertrude ...And I love callbacks way too much. 

Wow. So, he waited and planned to get her back for two seasons. This is some crazy stuff. Impressively ingenious. 

Hey, when did Oswald get the new henchmen?

*pans on Butch’s dead body* :( So sad...is that a tear rolling down his cheek? Was Butch crying? (UPDATE: It is very possible that was Drew crying from it being his last scene and now if that is a tear, this scene is even sadder.)

So, Selina won’t be able to walk? Surely this won’t last...at least I wouldn’t think. Unless they are going for something different.

Yes! You go, Bruce! It’s sad that you are leaving Selina but I love this. Be the dark knight! I hope this means Bruce will be the one to fight Penguin, Riddler, Jeremiah, Mr. Freeze, Scarecrow, and other new rogues next season. 

Oh yes!!! Love the new digs for Penguin. 

All these rogues carving up their territory. The montage, the costumes, the music. I love this so much. Why must season 5 be so short and be in 2019? 

Savage Jon! Scarecrow got a new hat! I like :)

“Penguin says fix ‘em” Wait...Ed and Lee? Did they die? First, the thought of Penguin going straight to Ed after all this mess and refusing to accept Ed’s death makes me very happy. Second, oh my god! What is that smirk, Strange? What are you going to do? 

Is she about to blame Penguin for everything? Ah, men...I mean, she has had a rough go with men so I guess I can see where her understanding goes.

Yay! Harvey and Foxy are staying :) 

I didn’t even realize Jeremiah got away. Sneaky!

The future bat signal! I love it. 

“I stayed to fight for the city” ...Wow. I was half expecting Jim to disapprove. Guess he knows it’ll be pointless and Bruce would just do whatever he wants anyway. 

Manbat! Sweet. Hello mother, how are you? Wow, brutal.

Part of me is excited, the other part is hoping all of this won’t be too much in the final season. 

Season 1 callback to their first meeting. “There is light” Love it :’)

Overall: Wow! What an episode! I loved it. Crazy to think that this is the last one for about a year but it definitely left an exciting impression.

Jeremiah was fun and had some great interactions with Bruce. Really building up that relationship in the past few episodes, which was nice. Overall, he’s great. However, I do still wish they could have introduced him sooner. We didn’t get to see enough. My hope is that we see plenty more of him next season.

Not a lot of Selina in this episode. Nice homage though. I’m curious where this story will take her, now that she is currently paralyzed.  

The Oswald/Butch thing was sad. I mean, I’m sad for Butch and I love Drew so it sucks. Drew is an amazing actor and I will miss his presence very much. Also, no Grundy :/ That being said, it was a surprise reveal and callback that I did not see coming. I’m so used to so many shows always forgetting plot points or being so serial. So, any time that a show does a callback, I love it. It reminds me that the writer's actually remembered their work and that the characters think about their past. And, for someone that murdered a man for insulting Gertrude’s singing in S1, it would be odd for Oswald to just forget about Tabby murdering Gertrude. The writers found a way to keep Oswald in character while also keeping Tabitha alive, only they had to sacrifice Butch and push the Butch/Tabby relationship a bit in order to do it. That kind of leaves me conflicted :/

The whole Lee/Ed thing is...well, I think it is over and they will now focus on their own separate stories, which I prefer at this point. I’m curious what Strange will do to them next season. Doubt it will be anything major physically though. 

Looks like rogues are taking territory, which is awesome! I expect every rogue to go embrace their personas like never before and now fully go up against Bruce. There’s also a few other rogues they are going to slip in, which will be fun. 

All around, there is a lot to look forward to. Wanted to make this review a bit extra long, since it was the final one of the season. I wanted to cover some of the main things that I enjoyed. There were a few things that left me conflicted, like Ed/Lee stuff, Butch dying, and Ra’s dying AGAIN, but I still really loved the episode. Can’t wait to see what is next!     

Previous Review: 4x21

[brokentoys]

sidelinedhearts​  : /  /  *  HOW COULD  YOU  .

“ its official I’m sending him to Super Weenie Hut Juniors now.”

“ You think you’re so clever ? Sending me to a fictional restaurant that was only referenced in one episode of in the Nickelodeon hit animated series, SpongeBob SquarePants, particularly season 3, episode 48 ? Its first & only appearance unless we’re counting video games & books ? Do you think you’re the most original person to be on this earth ? Do you want to know how many people have made a Super Weenie Hut Junior’s joke now ? More than you could count on both your fingers & toes. If I were you, I would come up with more original content. & before you accuse me of not being original because of my RIDDLES. I will have you know I make up ALL my riddles, they’re original from my brain. Much like the Sphinx or the divine Samson himself. In fact, I’d say I’m very comparable to Samson. We’re both godlike, with powers blessed from the Lord Himself. & do you REALLY want to be that person ? The person who insulted a GOD ? Do you realize how many people Samson killed for cheating his riddle ? He slaughtered THOUSANDS, & went on to kill many more. Never underestimate a RIDDLER. The Sphinx had killed many, too. Any who have failed to solve her riddles, she kept the entire town under her eye. Her MIGHT. Would you be so willing to send Samson or the Sphinx to not just Weenie Hut, not just Weenie Hut Junior’s, but SUPER Weenie Hut Junior’s. If you were intelligent like I were. I would rethink my choices before I evoke the WRATH OF A GOD. Or at the very least, come up with something ORIGINAL. If you could make the God laugh, then perhaps He would show mercy. But this ? This is a one way ticket to hell. So, RIDDLE ME THIS. Would you rethink your statement ? Your sentence ? Your little ‘ haha’ joke ? Or would you perish like a dog ? Well, well, well. Let me tell you one thing in case you STILL don’t know how to answer that; the clock is ticking, & Doomsday is upon us. ” 

[optimisticcritique]

Gotham 4x14 - Review 

Is this technically a review? Sometimes I wonder if I should call this “highlights” or “reactions” instead but I do share opinions and recap the ending so...kind of a review? I’ll stick with review I suppose. 

Wait, why are you burning the mask? Did the hallucination mean nothing to you?!

I know it is supposed to be a bit revolting but the way that guy is eating that pickle makes me want one.

You know, if you had chewed quietly with your mouth closed, she might have let you live. #tablemannerscansavelives

"It's all about family" says the person that hired people to murder her father... 

"Never said it was a happy family" relatable, unfortunately.

I don't blame Alfred for refusing. Bruce, you suck at apologies. Try actually saying the word “sorry” next time. 

At least Alfred is giving him the chance to show him that he changed. 

I was wondering why Ed hasn’t tried any pills by now. Dude, that cannot be safe. I hope you know what you are taking.

"cuckoo pills" lol just the way he says it.

"Who's it from?" That smug expression as he pretends to be oblivious. 

Whoa whoa whoa *pauses to look at the letter and holds up giant magnifying glass* If there is a clue in here... I have no idea what it is. That being said, this letter of apology is amazing. I hope Oswald actually means it and doesn’t say “haha just kidding. I only sent it so you would find the clue and break me out” later.

"I think that's a nice letter" Okay, this made me laugh too much. I love you, you conniving piece of-wow, now I can’t get the riddler playing match maker out of my head. 

The Riddler:  "It's a nice letter...you should hear him out...possibly rescue him since you will already be there...cause some murder together while you are at it....maybe grab some dinner afterward...." 

I just picture him pushing even further, “Remember the good times you shared? Nursing him back to health, murdering mister Leonard, being his chief of staff, hallucinating him singing to you seductively...” “I was not-those were-UGH”

"I'm never going to forgive him" never say never Ed. You are destined villain soul mates apparently.

 "What has eyes but can't see?"  I think you are having way too much fun. Also, I don't know the exact answer but I am betting it has to do with not seeing the bigger picture with the letter or the origami penguin message.

Jim, you totally interrupted Lucius. He was on a role! I know you are worried about your boyfriend Harvey being dead with plants bursting from his body but let's look at priorities here. Harvey has decent sized plot armor and Foxy probably won't get much screen time in this episode, let him finish a sentence.       

"Too late" "No, we're not" He knows him so well. He just looks dead. It's how he sleeps. 

Speaking of which, look at how sprawled he is on that couch....when there is a bed inches away from him. Like, honestly, I know he is probably hung over/drunk but that's not a bad way to sleep. 

Harvey: *sees a squad of police that burst into the apartment* *thinks about what is most important* "Hey, someone's paying for that door!" 

"You can't put this on me!" "I'm not putting it on you!" Oh, grade A bickering right there... 

I guess you aren't a real villain until you end up on TV. How do the villains end up with this kind of connection? 

"...once I find my pants" At least you noticed before you started walking down the street. That's progress. 

The Narrows stealth squad is on the case!

"A complete set of encyclopedias...minus the T" *silence* "plus twenty bucks"  *cheers and runs out* 

Lol Ed. Yeah, don't blame them. Let's face it though, the main reason they weren't excited was because the T was gone. If it isn't complete, what is the point? 

I have so many thoughts from this short scene. 

First...what happened to the T? Was it stolen? Who stole it? Why did they want it?  

Second... Pretty certain the reason he chose encyclopedias was because that is what HE loved and wanted as a kid. That was little Eddie's dream right there. Ugh give us more on Ed’s childhood already!

Third... Ed does well with kids! I want an Ed/Martin scene. I want him to give him encyclopedias, teach him riddles, play video games together, etc. as Oswald wears matching outfits with Martin and teaches Martin how to murder. Give it to me, Gotham!

"You couldn't even stop her from hypnotizing your own cops" fair point. Selina would have better luck. 

Yes! I am so happy to see Selina say she is her friend. I love when the show focuses on these relationships and does not forget them.

Should have noticed something was fishy when Harvey actually did call, saying he got a lead. You know he would try to do this on his own.

Hit him Jim! Hit him like you did Lucius! ...Does Harvey have any hidden fighting/defense skills that we know nothing about too? 

"Cognitive impairment. Definite check. Though, to be fair, how would you know?" The super extra hand gestures are always a delight. 

Scenes like these make me laugh more than it should. It's like Ed doesn't need anyone else to make fun of him or insult his intelligence. He already has this covered....actually... this is also quite sad. As it is basically him belittling and making fun of himself...wow, I just totally ruined the moment for myself. 

"The only way to get rid of me is to kill yourself" Oh no...no...I thought this might come up as a possibility but I just assumed the show wouldn't go down this way. Such angst...I mean, I like the angst and it makes sense but...it is so real. 

I am kind of surprised that the "you shot my father" revenge decided to come into play now and not sooner. I guess she is more powerful and ruthless now but she had somewhat perfume power last season. 

"I'm sure whatever happened was your fault" Well, she isn't wrong.   

"So technically, your ex has been sleeping with your dead husband's mafia sister" lol well, when you put it like that, Ed... And this is what people who are not watching the show are missing. 

Imagine if Ed actually did tell Lee what has been happening, his issues and all. Would it make things better? Worse? He should really talk to someone about his problems before going suicidal.

I never noticed how great Harvey's hair was...he wears the hat so much that I forget he has hair under there, let alone how long it is.

"I've only got myself to blame" ...okay, Jim. This is the part where you say, "No, don't blame yourself. I screwed up too." Harvey did make some bad choices but you shouldn't let him take ALL the blame, even if you think it is true.  

"He's been everything to me...a teacher, a protector, he's been a father to me" That’s pretty ambiguous. Who are you talking about? Alfred? Jim? Your pet bird? I mean, he said he hoped he would give him another chance but didn't actually name names...

Crowd: "Yeah...but what about the foundation? What does this man taking care of you have to do with money? Where did the money go?"

 Come on, Bruce! Don't give up so easily. You are supposed to be more stubborn than this. 

This got dark fast. I know he won't kill himself but man...

He's going to try to get him to go to arkham so he can meet Ozzie, isn't he?  

Those flowers are rather lovely...although, I would prefer ones that didn't cause mass murder as they grow within the bodies of those that breath them, thanks. 

Yeah, you get them, Bruce! "This is who you are." Yes, thank you Alfred. Embrace it, Bruce. Embrace it! Honestly, it wasn’t that long ago when Alfred told him not to do stuff like this. Time really flies. 

Geez Jim, why can’t you be more careful when you shoot guns. 

If only he knew who he was chasing. Maybe he would use his time so much better if he was looking for Ivy instead. 

Get used to the disappearing, Jim.

It seems Bruce isn't the only one that will wait and creep in the darkness to get a drop on you. 

"Well, Selina Kyle turns out to be the hero" "I'm no hero" Maybe not but you are not as bad when compared to most criminals in the city. 

"I wasn't running. I was getting this. "  Thinking with her smarts there.

Selina, you are doing great. This is the stuff I love to see. 

Well, at least she got through to her enough to not murder her or turn her into a human plant incubator. Progress. 

Imagine if Ed was there with Lee. Wonder if they would have tried to shoot him dead too... 

What is with Gotham and their hand fetish?

You know, I have seen hands get cut off and stabbed every which way in this show but the hammer...the hammer is the one that gave me sympathy pains and had me cringing. Poor Lee, it sounded painful. 

Oh, Sofia, you are going to wish you didn't do that. You would have been better off if you had Lee as an ally. 

"Arkham doesn't get many volunteers" Can't imagine why. 

"You do know who I am, right?" It's like a famous person trying to get into a party. Except, I don't think this is a party Ed would want to get into. 

Wow, Oswald with his tears of happiness. He looks so proud and excited that his love letter was answered. 

Why does Oswald look totally insane in this scene? How long ago did he send the letter? I mean, he was miserable but he wasn’t quite like this.

Oswald: *is all excited, proud, and emotional* “He read my letter!”  This seems like the same reaction someone would have if a famous person liked or responded to their tweet/email/fanart. 

“I’m not talking to you Ed” Dang, first Ed was the third wheel in 4x12 with Lee/Jim and now here he is again with Oswald/Riddler. 

"I'm talking to him..." wait...so he knew about the riddler being...okay, I admit, I did not see this coming. At all. 

Ed looking back like, "You can see him too?" Honestly, he seems like he assumed Oswald knew nothing about what was going on so I can see why he might think that. Imagine how weird would it be if Oswald could see him. Like, it is not plausible but it would blow fans minds. 

"I see the other you" Hmm...just last episode you said I know you and now this. I feel like this needs to be added to an analysis somewhere.

The way Oswald lets go... he's trying not to be too rough. He has made similar movements with Ed before.

Earned it? Through what? Solving your clues and willing to break you out? Even when Oswald has to say the name he still has to be this way, giving an excuse like that. 

I really want to know how much Oswald actually understands. I don’t think he realizes how serious this is for Ed but it is all very unclear on what he does know. Great...this is going to bother me for at least a week now. 

"Please....don't...." Well, this makes me sad. I don't know how to feel about this. I hate seeing ed like this. 

"I need you....” *whispers* "riddler" Wow, okay. Thanks for this. That was more tender and sexual than intended. 

The Riddler needed to be Oswald-approved with his kink before he could show up.

Then caressing his hand against his cheek...totally a normal thing to do with an ex-best friend and co-conspirator. This scene is confusing my emotions. 

Ooh those laughs. They look so happy. The Riddler is coming! ...and with the Penguin! Nygmobbleplot begins. 

This Alfred and Bruce scene is so touching.  

"I'm home" yes, you are <3 Let's face it, the mansion is better than any place you were living any way. Cheaper, better food, more space, less getting framed for murder... 

You better specify when you knew that she hired the Pyg, Jim. Don't want him to think you knew too early. 

You decided to take her down now? It really should have been when you found out that she murdered her father but better late than never I guess. 

I am curious how long Sofia will last. Granted, she has quite a few people on her side...but she also has many enemies. I can't see it ending well. Better book a vacation and get out while you still can, girl.  

Over all: I enjoyed the episode a lot. It did bring some confusion on the Ed situation but I enjoyed it nonetheless. It is just kind of sad that it seems Ed/Riddler still is not “whole” yet. That being said, I need to see more before I make too many assumptions. I am interested in where it goes and excited to see what happen next. I am also happy to see Bruce changing his ways once again and seeing reunions all around. This should be fun now that everyone is back together again. Bruce and Alfred make up, Bruce accepts that he ready to save people again. Ivy and Selina have a confrontation where Selina tries to appeal to her friend, Ivy still flees. Harvey and Jim make up, plan to take down Sofia as Jim shares the truth with Harvey. Sofia crushes Lee’s hand that sends her to the hospital, essentially takes the Narrows more under her control. Ed deals with his riddler issues and ends up visiting arkham. The riddler has returned, teams up with Penguin, and is going to break him out of arkham.   

Previous review: 4x13   Next: 4x15

[sidelinedhearts]

brokentoys​:

“ You think you’re so clever ? Sending me to a fictional restaurant that was only referenced in one episode of in the Nickelodeon hit animated series, SpongeBob SquarePants, particularly season 3, episode 48 ? Its first & only appearance unless we’re counting video games & books ? Do you think you’re the most original person to be on this earth ? Do you want to know how many people have made a Super Weenie Hut Junior’s joke now ? More than you could count on both your fingers & toes. If I were you, I would come up with more original content. & before you accuse me of not being original because of my RIDDLES. I will have you know I make up ALL my riddles, they’re original from my brain. Much like the Sphinx or the divine Samson himself. In fact, I’d say I’m very comparable to Samson. We’re both godlike, with powers blessed from the Lord Himself. & do you REALLY want to be that person ? The person who insulted a GOD ? Do you realize how many people Samson killed for cheating his riddle ? He slaughtered THOUSANDS, & went on to kill many more. Never underestimate a RIDDLER. The Sphinx had killed many, too. Any who have failed to solve her riddles, she kept the entire town under her eye. Her MIGHT. Would you be so willing to send Samson or the Sphinx to not just Weenie Hut, not just Weenie Hut Junior’s, but SUPER Weenie Hut Junior’s. If you were intelligent like I were. I would rethink my choices before I evoke the WRATH OF A GOD. Or at the very least, come up with something ORIGINAL. If you could make the God laugh, then perhaps He would show mercy. But this ? This is a one way ticket to hell. So, RIDDLE ME THIS. Would you rethink your statement ? Your sentence ? Your little ‘ haha’ joke ? Or would you perish like a dog ? Well, well, well. Let me tell you one thing in case you STILL don’t know how to answer that; the clock is ticking, & Doomsday is upon us. ” 

It was a ride from start to finish, she has to buckle in halfway through the twists and turns. Ed the dear sweet man was giving her so much to work with and her hands grasped at every straw that came her way, pocketing them for later. Chin perched on her hand her dark eyes follow his elaborate gestures, noticing how quickly Ed felt he was being called unoriginal and stupid. Weak spot noted for emergency use only.

Her face its usual granite facade almost slips as his voice escalates, -"to not just Weenie Hut, not just Weenie Hut Junior’s, but SUPER Weenie Hut Junior’s"- it almost crumbles beneath the weight of the sentence alone.

Years of lectures at the hands of Public school teachers steel her gaze and she internalized every giggle. Who knew if Eddie was kidding or not and she didn't want the number behind him to go up one and be her.

Wisely she waits until she's sure he's finished.

“But how can I comprehend the intelligence of a God ? One who’s intellect alone outshines the sun and stars? Who has the entirety of linguistics at their fingertips? I simply cannot imagine, Mr. Riddler, the landscape of your mind.” She complimented with genuine words and a small smile, eyes sparking with sincerity.

"c'mon man, we know I'm not the brightest bulb on the front porch we don't have to lie about it. But I feel like I can learn when I'm with you. that's not something I can say about other places."

There was a lot of truth there, difficulty to admit given their circumstances. Eddie being a literal Rogue. In some ways the Riddler was a mirror of her self, a tall viridian questionable puppet, steeping in denial like a strong tea- he was her worst fear realized. OCD ran his life. OCD had won.

Yet there was a fondness growing in her heart for him, watching him struggle with the same demon she had. It was so clear to her. But the only one who could solve that was Eddie and he had to accept that on his own terms. There's no hero in life but yourself.

" this will be really easy for you- a baby could solve it- but I tried to make up my own riddle and I wanted to share it with you. May i?"