#richard ayoade imagines

[politedemon]

watching soul and this guy just seeing his entire life and it's him sat alone at a diner. uncomfortable look at the future afterlife for me.

[colinfirth]

Sometimes, I wish there was a film crew following my every move. I imagine the camera craning up as I walk away. But, unless things improve, the biopic of my life will only have the budget for a zoom-out. SUBMARINE 2010 — dir. Richard Ayoade

[noelsfielding]

I am so sorry to come to you with this but I am honestly lost and you are the closest reference I have about Noel Fielding, I am a BIG fan of Noel, have been for years, and with the Russell stuff comming up I have started getting a bunch of Tik Toks and some post about Noel also being a predator and dating minors, this is hugelly distressing for me as I have a deep an fixated Interest (I am hoping you undestand how that is) Do you know anything about this? Do any of the acusations hold water? I am so scared and worried, he has been a confort for me in very hard times and I must admit I am finding all of this very difficult to navegante

I have had to take a few days to digest all this information myself and I can't and won't tell anyone the right or wrong way to feel about this but I will say, here is where I am at...

I believe the victims of assault, whomever they accuse.

I have not seen any accusations of misconduct against Noel specifically, I have only seen his questionable relationship with Peaches Geldof resurface. This transpired over a decade ago.

I believe that people are capable of change and growth.

I believe that people who make mistakes should be held accountable for their mistakes.

I believe that Noel has had more than one friend who was and still is inappropriate with women, I am not under the impression Noel is that person any longer. I have no idea the extent of his knowledge of the inappropriate behaviour of the others.

Some might try to say OF COURSE he knew, but I had a friend in a band with a VERY BAD person and the whole band had ZERO idea because MOST people like that go to extensive lengths to hide their bad behaviour.

I can't comment on Russell at this time, I have not watched the expose myself but again, my instinct is to believe the victims first. I am disappointed to say the bare minimum.

I have also been recently disappointed with Richard Ayoade throwing his support for someone who is anti-trans. I understand some feel they can separate a person from their morality, but I struggle with that the older I get.

I want everyone to know that their complex feelings on this matter are valid. I am not a big subscriber to the concept of cancel culture, but I am a big proponent of accepting and owning responsibility and accountability and knowing that it is possible to love someone while also recognizing and not excusing their lesser behaviours.

We can talk more on this as things unfold, everyone is welcome to come into this post or inbox and share how they feel, all the feelings are valid and I don't want to see a single person attacking another for feeling differently. Everyone is going to have a myriad of feelings regarding this no matter what happens from this point on and even if we disagree, we should RESPECT.

At this time, the time of me penning this reply, I believe that Noel is a decent person. I think he's a grown man, partner and father and has moved away from a lot of the debauchery of his past, including his times with Russell. I think it's possible that as a 'friend' he turned a blind eye to things and may have even engaged in some inappropriate relationships in the past, but I don't believe that is who he is now. While I am of course disappointed in those things, I can also say there are many things from my life 10+ years ago I am disappointed in too, so I don't feel like I have the right to judge too harshly. I also know that what the press reports and what happens behind closed doors are not always the same and things can easily be blown out of proportion. But at the same time I also know if it walks and talks like a duck....

Feelings are complex, opinions as well. I hold many in my head at a time and I feel like, ultimately what I am trying to say is... I want to believe in the Noel I have come to adore over all these years. The one with great imagination, compassion for the underdogs, and the childlike spirit that makes us all feel so comfortable and safe.

I am very interested to see if he makes any comments in the coming weeks and I hope that I can stand by this statement as time passes. I love all my fieldmice and am here for you while you navigate your own feelings at this time.

[crazyasstruckfreakselfshipper]

every ten minutes i pull out my phone and look at this picture. new f/o and i don't even know his name. MAIN f/o and i dont even know his name. when this movie comes out im going to be so insufferable and i honestly dont think theres any chances that he would somehow NOT become a f/o of mine when the movie comes out. i want to chew the beard off his face /r

okay but like seriously. im gonna rant down here. i made a post on my other account (that i reposted on here lmao) saying that one tyler the creator tweet thats like "ive been waiting for this for years" and like yeah i pretty much have been. because i love moss (my other f/o played by richard ayoade. that guy up there if that was not clear) and hes such a sweetheart but i tend to always like richard ayoade's characters (i have 4 richard ayoade character f/os) but i have ALWAYS wanted him to play a serious (at least somewhat serious) cool character just GAGSDJSFHMK,J i dont know how to fully explain it but i truly truly have always wanted this. my prayers have been answered. by fucking wes anderson (who. i love wes anderson's mvies i truly do and im sorry but im not sorry because i think the only reason people want to hate on him now is because hes popular because tons of other directors have been much more of assholes than him and people still love them he just has a style and people are sick of it and sick of it being popular and i dont fuck with that kind of hate because i think his movies are awesome and well done so. thank you) anyways i truly doubt this character's character is going to be much different from how ive imagined in my head so far knowing both wes anderson and richard ayoade like i think ive got it down pretty much. also my self insert is soooo tf2 merc coded like literally all of them coded i literally am all of them in real life (truthfully because of well. personality stealing. a speciality of mine) god i hope in a later trailer we learn his name. like i really really really want to know his name this is the most excited ive been for anything in a while ALSO FUCK!!! I FORGOT TO MENTION IM GOING TO FUCKING BE IN JAPAN WHEN IT COMES OUT. FUCK LIKE THAT SUCKS SO BAD AND I DONT GET BACK FOR A WHILE AND IM NOT GOING TO SEE IT IN JAPAN BECAUSE LIKE I JUST DONT WANT TO ugh just fuck!!!!! what if theres a poster at the premiere in theatres!!! what if it has him on it!!! my dad has special movie privalges because he pays for a subscriptin or something so even though he doesnt give a fuck about this movie i might make him go see it just in case there are posters. god what if there are posters. fuckkkk

[french-teapot]

Hi!

This is really aimed at people who read my nuzlocke and this is incredibly self-indulgent but I am mad curious!

Do you have any voice headcanons for them? I'm just trying to throw together a little voice claim list for fun, and it just made me wonder if ye imagine certain voices for them. ^u^

I've always imagined Chipo as having a general Australian accent, but I can't find a good voice to match it. XD

I've got Richard Ayoade for Wilton, Kristen Schaal for Pippi, and Charlie Day for the Rocket Bros so far, but the others I'm not sure of.

I dunno! Just thought I'd throw this out there for a laugh. XD

ALSO I'm about 90% done with linearting the next update!

[thesillygiggleman]

hey monsters at work tumblr, self indulgent headcanon for declan that does not add to the plot at all but exists entirely for me.

(also to make this make more sense, i have a self insert character for the monsters inc universe who works in IT for monsters inc! so for this headcanon to work imagine there is an IT department at monsters inc)

headcanon that declan used to work in IT at monsters inc. (yes this is only because he’s voiced by richard ayoade and i think it would be a funny IT crowd reference.) also, duncan didn’t know declan existed because no one knows or cares about the IT department (like in the IT crowd). just think it would be funny. declan seems to work good with electronics in the show, so it’d make sense. also could help make him more of a parallel to duncan.

my idea with this is that he used to work for monsters inc, but he disagreed with switching to laugh power so he left. then he somehow ended up at fear co.

i may add more onto this headcanon, but i wanted to share this for now!!

[ocoloc]

These are the people I imagine in my head when listening to red valley

Gordon- Richard ayoade

Bryony- Flo from this years season of The Apprentice

Clive- Alex j newall ( voice of martin blackwood)

Aubrey- Siobhan Thompson

[kingmaxstatic]

Fuck it, I'm curious.

[oddygaul]

Plane Movie Roundup #1 - Henry Sugar, Spaceman, Enter the Dragon

Initially it felt a little weird to group things as Plane Movies, but then I thought about it some more, and… well, have I really watched something if I've only watched it on a plane? Yes, but also no. I think it’s helpful context to remember I watched something tired, distracted, and with the constant rumble of a jet engine blaring in my ear.

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

I actually watched all of this series of shorts except this one last year (The Rat Catcher was my fav), but just now got around to Henry Sugar. So, this applies to all of them, but - I absolutely love the style these shorts are done in. The rapid, feverish monologues while the actors stare the audience down complements Wes Anderson’s style to a T, and the constant shuffle of the sets and stagecraft is enthralling. The actors all swapping between multiple roles adds a very odd drama to the proceedings, and the casting was great as well - I can’t imagine someone I’d rather have locking eyes with me and calmly reciting narration than Richard Ayoade.

Anyway, Henry Sugar in particular was alright. The slow unveiling of the mystery in the first half kept my attention, but when all was said and done it felt a little saccharine. I thought it started to broach a genuinely interesting discussion about the class disparity of skill mastery: for all that we romanticize the idea of the starving artist, isn’t an independently wealthy person, who doesn’t have to spend time worrying or doing anything about their bills, plans or obligations*, able to have a fast track to bettering any skill they want? Doesn’t it feel particularly frustrating that despite creative arts typically being seen as a pure expression of emotion and feeling, due to the massive time investment required to excel, they're tied up in social status just like everything else? The example here was even particularly salient to examining that idea, given the inherent spirituality often suggested by meditation which Sugar clearly lacks.

*Not to mention the cost of equipment and the networking / connections required to actually make a career out of something creative, even if you’ve already gained the skill to do it

And yet, in a twist even more unrealistic than being able to see through solid objects with one’s eyes closed, the laughably wealthy man decides to use his new wealth-gaining technique to better the world and help those around him. What a fairy tale.

Part of me wishes it followed the hinted-at horror tangent of Sugar being unable to see anything beyond the base organic makeup of all the bodies around him… but we have Luther Strode for that, I guess.

Spaceman

Wasn’t really impressed by this movie… I think what the creators found interesting about the premise and what I found interesting about the premise were drastically different. If you came here for Space Madness – Is This Man Really Hanging Out With a Giant Spider or Not??, well, that sucks, because Spaceman is largely disinterested in questioning Jakub’s sanity and is content to accept Hanuš as his giant space therapist with very little fuss. If you’re here for Loneliness in Space – Can One Even Begin to Fathom the Ultimate Desolation of the Void??, again, not so much.

Instead, the movie is essentially Toxic Man Who Was Shitty to His Wife and Spends Way Too Much Time at Work Realizes That’s Bad While in Orbit of Jupiter which… didn’t do much for me. Feels real easy to have an epiphany about how you were wrong when you’re half a solar system away and can’t actually work on that problem in any meaningful way… and then the way he tries reaching out is by sending a generic, manipulative message to his wife and then immediately flinging himself out of his ship on a suicidal one-way spacewalk? Doesn’t really feel like you meaningfully learned your lesson, my guy.

The ridiculousness of the spider did result in some great moments, though. Hanuš rollin out of the pantry eating nutella while saying “Hey, tough break bud, that sounds really rough” like he’s Adam Sandler’s fuckin college roommate was pretty choice.

Enter the Dragon 

Initial thoughts: god damn Bruce Lee is hot as fuck Latter thoughts: god damn Bruce Lee is scary

This was my first Bruce Lee movie… and what a trip it was. From the jump, I felt like I was out of my depth in a weird way when he started talking about ‘emotional content’, but still, I enjoyed this from an aesthetic standpoint if nothing else.

Mostly, Enter the Dragon was one of those movies where upon watching it, dozens of other things clicked into place in my head - media that was inspired by it, media that has parodied it, media that’s reverent towards it. And here, unlike many other times where I’ve first experienced older, hugely influential works, I was immensely entertained. The music is groovin start to finish, it has some of the best funny cheese moments (Bruce throwing the snake into the guardroom, the facility guards walking around with nunchuks like that’s a thing that anyone does), and the fight choreo is killer. Lee absolutely schooling O’Hara in their duel with that move like water shit… mmm. Give me more of that.

Okay, so the other thing that really struck me is how fucking scary Bruce Lee is in this movie. Now, maybe I just think of kung fu movies as lighthearted due to their constant parody in pop culture, or because the ones I actually grew up with, like Kung Fu Hustle, are decidedly comedic - but even putting that aside, I think Enter the Dragon genuinely is intentionally tongue-in-cheek much of the time. It even plays into the nonviolent, “don’t worry, they’re just sleeping” trope with Bruce only knocking out the guards on his nighttime excursion. So it came as a real shock every time Bruce Lee just straight up fucking brutally murdered a dude. Look, with O’Hara it makes sense, he absolutely had it coming, but it’s still wild to watch the camera slowly pan into Bruce Lee’s face, fully focusing on his thousand-yard-stare, theremins going wild in the background. Not a man to fuck with.

[umbiedecoder]

since i started bloodborne recently ive been working on my ocs for it, mainly how i imagine them sounding

this is laverne, she’s supposed to be steampunk adjacent, and if i had to give her a voice it would be richard ayoade

[theoneandonlywonton]

Headcanon: Garth Marenghi and Gordy Lasure exist in the same universe.

I love the idea of these meta pieces of media that are basically linked through Richard Ayoade being part of the same universe.

Also imagine Garth and Gordy talking to each other, or Gordy critiquing the new 'Darkplace' film. They would spar with each other so aggressively.

[beatlblog]

#gay silence (via princessleiaqueen)

#why in god’s name is only the top button buttoned#the power of drugs (via unchaineddaisychain)

#also where was the bbc censorship people or whatever?#this is hashtag bisexual porn#you're on national tv please behave (via sohardlovingyou)

#'the tension here is unbearable and sexual' -richard ayoade (via glymphatics)

#i often think about the very brief window when they could have shared a grandchild#imagine the fuckin shadow that kid would have grown up in#''hello yes my name is thomas jagger-lennon'' (via james-winston)

#are they... you know... lesbians? (via day-trippin-dreamer)

#JUST TO MAKE A FUCKING POINT#REBLOGGING THIS ONE TOO#BECAUSE TOM PETTY AND MICK JAGGER OWN THE SAME SHIRT (via piratewithvigor)

John @ mick (via mossycourtyard)

#hair must be this dirty to join the rock n' roll circus (via drivenalphabitchpaulmccartney)

#love how bisexual everyone was in the late 60s god bles (via danoriddler)

#lesbians (via waddlestowaddles)

#“what happened in india?” nothing. but something happened at the rock n roll circus. (via tweeterwilbury)

#they lesbianing together#I just think if I was Michael Lindsay Hogg and I filmed this I would never thing John was straight ever again#mick's stifled giggle after saying dirty#john was cute and looked so delicious in the Rock'n'roll circus I could just eat him up.. who can blame mick#I wanna hold your man ✊ (via l3fool)

#god ​girls just kiss already (via johnisonlysleeping)

#linda 🤝 john (would fuck mick jagger) (via myplasticadversary)

#holds out his hand like he's waiting for a baisemain (via philcollinsenjoyer)

#this is insane.#pete townshend trying to fuck mick jagger#mick jagger trying to fuck john lennon#it’s all happening under a giant circus big top#while the beatles are slowly collapsing#WHY has this not been an off-broadway play yet. (via and-i-moved)

(+ bonus +)

[hectormcfilm]

Wes Anderson/ Roald Dahl short film reviews- The Rat Catcher, Poison, The Swan and The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

Recently Wes Anderson released 4 short films on Netflix all based off Roald Dahl short stories. I have been planning on doing a series of reviews on my blog for one filmmakers and these short films have given me the perfect excuse to catch up on all the Wes Anderson films I haven't seen- which includes 5 films, nearly half his filmography: Bottle Rocket, The French Dispatch, Life aquatic, Darjeeling limited and Asteroid city. I will review all 5 of these films on my blog over the next few weeks. From the Wes Anderson films I have seen however I can say I am mixed on his filmography, I think he has one masterpiece with Fantastic Mr Fox, something I am very nostalgic for and think is gorgeous from an animation and directing standpoint with by far his best characters. But besides this masterclass I find most of his films just decent, I find his fun colourful style is visually pleasing but wares off after a while and can be overdone, taking away from the story or limiting what eh could do technically. I will see though if my binge of his filmography changes my mind and gives me a greater appreciation for his style.

THE RAT CATCHER

The Rat Catcher was fun with some issues. My favourite part of this whole short film was the skyline being a beautiful painting and the overall yellow and orange colour palette quite reminiscent of Fantastic Mr Fox. I thought Ralph Fiennes was great in this, his costume and prosthetics make him nearly unrecognisable and I enjoy the parallels between the rat catchers and the rats themselves but wish the narration didn't so obviously point this out and discuss it. I am mixed on Richard Ayoade, I love him as a comic and I always enjoy his deadpan almost emotionless delivery but in this his narration became almost overwhelming to me and unnecessary in certain moments, I understand it is a short story and Wes wants to keep the idea of this being a story book but it felt like too much dialogue distracting from the visuals at times. I really enjoyed the use of stop motion for the rat and having the rat catchers voice come out of it as a neat detail. The directing is stellar, keeping Wes' usual style but having some more interesting moments like the dramatic lighting towards the end in the final confrontation, having extreme close ups and Dutch angles to heighten the tension as well was unique for his style which I appreciate. I wasn't a fan however of the use of imagination as it seemed like it was used randomly and for no good reason, relying too much on the constant narration and I am not a huge fan of the cut away to Ralph Fiennes looking normal, it is only for two lines and very unexplained. Overall a fun little short film.

THE SWAN

The second short film I watched was the Swan and this was definitely my least favourite. I will start off by saying the use of theatre elements like the set being shown and having characters open doors onto set, having stage hands walk on to help adjust things was all genius and definitely the best part of this film, adding a distinct feel. I thought the camera work was technically impressive, usually tracking the character or moving from left to right in long shots, very well done. However my main issues are with the narrative, I didn't find myself that invested as with the little time and use of narration no character was memorable or had much personality besides the two antagonists being evil and mean. There isn't the charm and fun of rat catcher and I thought the subject matter and ending was maybe too serious and dark for the more fun tone the rest of the film attempted, felt quite muddled tonally. The lead performance had a good use of voices, playing all the characters but his body language and facial expressions were limited. However, I did really enjoy the use of stop motion again and the shot looking through binoculars and between his feet. Still technically impressive but personally I found this quite unengaging and dull.

POISON

I thought this one was a lot of fun with only a few issues. Similar to The Rat Catcher this one had a distinct colour palette of mainly green with some yellow, reflecting usual symbolism of green being poisonous. I thought the acting in this was the best yet, Dev Patel bringing the most charismatic and entertaining narration so far, keeping it engaging and not making it feel overwhelming but more like natural dialogue. Ben Kingsley appearing was a big shock, as such a highly acclaimed job he had a great performance even in his little screentime. I loved the self awareness this was on a set, the camera moving from room to room where walls should be and having more stage hands appear to hand out props. One small detail heightened by watching this with headphones was the audio in the telephone scene between Patel and Kingsley, when Patel spoke the audio only worked in the left ear whilst when Kingsley spoke it was in the right, a neat little detail. I liked the use of split screen, extreme close ups on Benedict Cumberbatch and split screen, all added a lot of personality. My few problems are the lack of proper characterisation and the ending being in my opinion very random and too ambiguous, making everything feel pointless. Pretty good overall but I do think the lack of depth or personality to characters in all of these is a hinderance and shows like Love death and Robots have proved you can have great in depth interesting characters within a short runtime.

THE WONDERFUL STORY OF HENRY SUGAR

The final short film I watched was the longest and arguably my favourite, this and Poison sit around the same level. I enjoyed how this one opened with Roald Dahl and had the most natural use of him compared to the randomness of the Rat Catcher. I thought this one as usual excelled with the more meta elements like showing the audience clearly everything is a set, having stagehands helping and even having a mistake of a character wearing the wrong moustache and having to change it. These small details add so much personality to all of them besides the Rat catcher which avoided this technique strangely. This definitely had the best story and a bigger focus on character, including a full character arc. Dev Patel proved himself again as a charismatic narrator and needs to be in more of Wes Anderson's work, fitting his style perfectly. I really enjoyed the ending of this, a fun montage of Benedict's different allies he dawned and it ends on a great message about helping others and learning his own selfish ways. My main problem with this arc he goes on is I don’t think the short made Henry Sugar selfish enough in the beginning, he never felt evil or mean.

Overall I think these short stories are all fun and well made, I believe The Swan is the weakest and has a very messy tone with uninteresting narration but besides that they are all quite entertaining and pretty good.

[alexstorm]

Hahah imagine Alex being jealous of Jonny Greenwood, especially considering their relationship with Radiohead 🤭 and If PTA called Alex, he’d faint 🤭 first because he’s a great filmmaker second because Alex has said he was listening to a podcast interview with him so he’s a fan. I wonder what’s his favorite PTA film, probably Boogie Nights lol. Also if he had worked with better “filmmakers”, he definitely would’ve had some connections to the film industry. I mean Richard Ayoade isn’t really considered “Hollywood” so Alex should’ve made some connections through Arielle 😬🤭😂

Ey, don't diss Boogie Nights! That film is awesome!

And that was my point with the TV reference. He only made TV connections through Arielle. Maybe Tom Hanks through his son but he mainly met TV actors in that time.

Richard hasn't done any directing work since 2013. Not sure he even would call himself a director anymore.

[skylarbee]

if you want to find out more about these two here's a super interesting interview with them:

Periscope up: Richard Ayoade and Alex Turner unite their talents in hot new Brit flick Submarine | The Independent | The Independent

also, i can't remember if it's in this that they talked about it or not, but i remember reading somewhere that the cornerstone mv idea came to them in richard's living room, where alex practiced the piruette and all in front of richard, but could never finish the whole song because they were laughing too much. and if you know anything about richard, imagining this scenario is the best thing on earth. i would pay a great sum of money to listen to these two ramble on for hours about nothing in particular and about subjects i don't understand, and i would still be fascinated.

Rewatched Submarine since it’s finally back on Netflix in England. And wow first off I forgot how funny it was but also….

I can’t help but laugh at the idea that Richard Ayoade picked Alex to soundtrack the album because Alex like Oliver Tate is an autistic only child who reads the dictionary and listens to French crooners.

[limenysnocket]

With Love, Ayoade

SEQUEL TO "With Care, Ayoade". ENJOY.

Summary: Beyond the Christmas crashing fiasco when you two first locked eyes, you have finally found the time to spend time together. Ah, Valentine's day. No one wants to be alone on Valentine's.

Warnings: YOU WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE AT SOME POINT. Swearing, drinking (and eventual drunkenness), gossip, infidelity.

A/N: this goes out to my lovesick homies all over the world. Happy Valentine's Day.

@honorarytenenbaum

•○●•○●•○●•

All over the world, sweethearts and significant others delivered boxes of too sweet chocolates, delightful roses that were doomed to die within a week, and teddybears that were stuffed with labor as well as love. Richard, however, was only delivering letters. Why?

"It appeals to the overrated stereotype that you need to buy an expensive gift to get the affection of others. The social pressure is horrifying," he had told you once in a letter to you after you had asked about Valentine's. You really wanted to ask if he would like to go out on that evening,, since you both had never been on a traditional or discussed date with each other. No one, still, had made the first move. Originally, if only he had responded more positively, you would have asked if he wanted to have dinner. Now, you purposely avoided the question altogether. If something were to happen, then it would happen. And something did happen, of course.

"I need you to attend this weird Valentine double date thing with me and my friends," you pleaded, standing on Richard's front step at the touch of dusk.

"This is totally going against our relationship code right now," Richard, so used to communicating via letters, complained. "You're breaking our bro code. And a little warning would have been nice."

"Can we not talk about the bro code? Please, this is important!"

Richard begrudgingly listened to your heart's every quip with his arms folded over his cream colored sweater vest. Apparently, this entire mix up was a massive mistake and you had to pay the price for your inability to focus on certain conversation pieces.

You had gone to lunch with your favorite friend group, and the quiet chatter of the table lulled you into autopilot while you, simultaneously, chewed on a leafy salad. Everything was all calm until your name was spoken out loud to get your attention. You looked up, surprised and mid-chew on a crouton. Staring back at you was a friend named Alex and her eager-enough looking boyfriend from across the table.

"Well?" Alex primed expectantly. "What about you, (Y/N)? Could you do it?"

Your teeth halted to a grinding stop on your crouton. You felt embarrassed for not listening in on the conversation but refused to admit it. So, instead of asking to repeat the question, you shrugged your shoulders and muttered a very cautious, "Yes?"

"You don't have to! We just really don't want to be there alone! It's special!" Alex went on, and you picked at a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth.

"No, no, I can do it!" Now insisting on your own. Although, you still had no idea what it was, until someone who wasn't Alex or her dopey boyfriend explained it to you. It was time to face the music and you would not, could not, face it alone.

So, there you stood, dressed in your finest evening gown with your makeup done to perfection, asking for Richard's help.

"I'm honestly very flattered, but..." Richard had to look away for a minute, the slightest bit flustered. "Do I have to, really?"

"Yes, you have to!" You begged once more. "C'mon, Rich," you grew softer for him, which made him flustered further. You leaned forward on your toes, approaching him, just to be closer. "Just this one time? For me?"

"God damn you, woman, with your eyes," Richard turned his eyes up to the ceiling to avoid your doe-like gaze. It was too much for him to take. After a prolonged silence and a very quiet whine, Richard huffed an agreement. "Fine."

You waited patiently in the foyer while he dressed for the occasion, clicking the sides of your heels together, wishing like Dorothy that this night wouldn't end in spectacular failure. You closed your eyes. "There's no place like home. There's no place like home," you dreamed outloud.

"Gone mad, have we?" Richard broke your faint plea from the stairway. He was watching you the entire time, and he was very amused. He had also traded his sweatervest and slacks for one of his more gaunting, colorful suits. He claimed to be an introvert, but with suits like his, he's bound to get some attention from somebody.

"Can we go now? You take longer than me to get ready, and that's including hair and makeup," you whined, trying not to show your embarrassment to him.

"Of course we can go," Richard sighed, "but you must promise me something." He stepped down to your level and offered his arm for you to take.

"Should I be worried?" You wondered with a smile.

"There's nothing to worry about," he opened the front door and turned to close and lock it. "I only request that we only stay for no longer than an hour."

"Only an hour? That's so short," you shrugged, "and who knows how chatty Alex will be once she gets a few glasses of wine in her."

"My social battery cannot withstand more than that, unless it's with you," he made the exception, "and I'd prefer to be staying at home, reading of romance rather than experiencing it."

You took his arm again and he lead you to the end of the sidewalk to hail a cab on the main road.

"Have you ever written anything romantically engaging?" You asked him during the ride to the restaurant where you would meet Alex and her boyfriend.

"I don't believe so," Richard said and fiddled with his tie. "I've never been a big fan of it. It's always been too sappy for me to enjoy."

"Romance isn't always sappy," you reasoned, "it's heartbreak too, you know."

"I'd never read a book to purposely make myself sad or yearn for something," Richard cocked, "I read books to learn from their moral values."

"Ayoade On Top has moral values in it?"

"Hush," he silenced you before you even got the slimmest chance of messing with him. You snuck in a few verbal proddings, though. Just for fun.

"We should have a safe word," Richard suddenly suggested, much to your surprise. The cab slowly veered to the curb and lurched into a stop.

"A safe word?" You want to laugh.

"Just in case either of us gets uncomfortable and wants to leave." His idea was... kind of smart, actually. You had never felt all too comfortable around Alex. Her flamboyant personality was too much to bear sometimes, and when she was with her boyfriend, she was at her worst. You often wondered if that guy was okay. Blink once for yes. Blink twice for no.

"Alright, then," you sigh, peeking out the window to see the bustling street and the warm lights of the buzzing restaurant. "What word would be appropriate for a comfortable dinner setting?"

You saw him place his hand on his right pants pocket and fiddle with it for a moment. He hummed.

"Salad fork," he mused.

"Absolutely not. That's two words. We need one," you shook your head and smiled.

"Then how about..." he thought, again, for a moment, "Booner."

"Booner?" You asked. He nodded. You paused, mulling it over, then shrugged. "Booner it is, then."

With a hesitant smile, Richard opened his door next to the curb and slid out of the cab. You did the same on your side. You regrouped with him on the curb and clung to his arm. You were undoubtedly more nervous about this than he was. Richard was kind enough to guide you inside, where you both would be spotted by Alex, beckoned over, and forced to take a seat where the double date would officially commence.

You were seated in a crescent-shaped booth towards the shady end of the restaurant. Richard sat on the end, next to you. Alex sat on the other end, next to her boyfriend. It started with polite small talk, then ordering food and drinks. After that, you knew everything was about to take a plunge downhill.

"So, how did you two meet?" Alex was the one who liked talking the most. She had been keeping Richard occupied with a personal interview while scraping at her food with her fork, moments before hand. You weren't sure, but you thought you felt a waft of jealousy coming out of her words.

"We've lived across the street from each other for quite some time, as you might know," you decided to handle this question and spare Richard. As a thank you, he placed his hand on your knee and gently squeezed it. This was the first physical advancement he had made to you. "We met for the first time on Christmas, when I locked myself out of my apartment. Richard came to my aid, and made me feel really comfortable. We've been writing letters to each other since." You set your hand on top of Richard's and ran your thumb along the back of it. Richard was still quiet, but you could see he was flattered by the way he stole glances at you or smiled at the table.

The sensation of jealousy was stronger now. Alex picked up her glass of wine and took a long, slow sip as you capped off your brief love story.

"You know," Alex started and you braced yourself, "I've never heard of a celebrity going out with a common girl. How does that relationship work, exactly? I bet it's super hard, isn't it Richard?" Alex clicked her tongue. Richard twitched beneath the table, then reached out to take a drink of his water before answering. It was hard to say you both were dating, when you really weren't. Neither of you had asked, nor have you even kissed, but Richard still played along. For your sake, thankfully.

"I actually enjoy it more than dating another celebrity," he answered truthfully, but starkly all the same. "It's quiet. And (Y/N) just so happens to be more beautiful than anyone I've ever been with. So, I'm happy. Happy with her." He spoke to the table. His hand remained on your knee, and he held tight. You knew he was being genuine with you and you had to hide the fact that your heart began to beat wildly and flutter within your chest.

Alex scrunched up her nose in annoyance and finished off the last of the glass. She beckoned to her dopey boyfriend for more, to which he was happy to respond by refilling her drink to the rim. You, on the other hand, were flattered beyond expectation. You knew Richard had a way with words, but you had only ever read them on pieces of paper. Never had you heard them out loud.

"Well, I'm so glad for the two of you," Alex muttered. "Fuck... I'm gonna go use the bathroom. All this talk about stupid fucking relationships makes me sick." She tore herself away from her boyfriend, who had been coddling her drunk ass. His smile never faltered, though. Alex shimmied her way out of the booth, and somehow managed to stand up. She swayed harshly. You'd be surprised if she actually made it more than two steps without falling flat on her face. But suddenly, she spun around and face you head on. "(Y/N)!" She cooed in a sappy, slurrish voice. "Why don't you come with me? We can have a little one on one girl chat, hm?"

You looked around the table for help. Richard was still looking down at the floor, and Alex's dopey boyfriend was still smiling, glancing from you to Alex. Alright, so no one would get you out of this. Great. You were so close to saying the safe word.

"Sounds like a plan," you put on a fake smile and gently removed your and Richard's hand off of your knee. He was reluctant, however. He wanted you to stay, but didn't know how to voice it. So, he remained quiet, and eventually didn't try to fight it. He slid out of the booth to let you out as well. You climbed out. Your hand brushed with Richard's as you left. He wished he could have held on to you for just a little while longer.

Richard sat back down at the booth while you helped Alex stumble to the little girl's room. Now, it was only him and Alex's boyfriend. Not the best situation. Richard just tried to keep his head down and mouth shut. His social battery was worn down to it's last.

"So you're Gadget Man, ah?"

Fuck.

"Man, I'd give anything to have the amount of money you must spend in a single day on that set."

"I was Gadget Man... there's a difference," Richard mumbled and looked up for a minute. Alex's boyfriend was looking right at him, laid back against the booth so nonchalantly. So menacingly.

"Ah ha, you're funny, Gadget Man," the dope chortled. "I'm Charles, by the way. Friends can call me Charlie. Alex doesn't really bother introducing me all that much, but I don't mind it." A sickly smirk spread across Charles' face. "With the ass she has, I learned to let her do the talking most of the time, and that comes with its own rewards." A waitress passed by and took up an empty wine bottle. Charles eyed her up, smirking. He reached out and touched her thigh with outstretched fingers. His thumb brushed against the hem of her short skirt. The waitress smirked, then walked away. "And sometimes, it pays to keep your mouth shut about other things too."

Richard's uncomfort grew. He missed you. He hoped you were doing well in that bathroom and he hoped you weren't going through a similar situation. But you were.

In the nearest bathroom in the dark recesses of the restaurant, you sat outside a bathroom stall, waiting, albeit impatiently, for Alex to stop puking her guts out. The night couldn't have gotten any worse, and you felt awful for it. You'd have to make it up to Richard somehow.

You began to pace about the bathroom, and eventually stopped in front of one of the glimmering sinks and mirrors. You decided to wash up a little bit. Maybe you could scrub some of the memories of watching Alex paint the walls of her occupied stall with her insides out of your mind. You wished that was possible, of all things.

Alex soon crawled out of her stall, stumbling about until she found you at the sinks. She came up right next to you and hunched over the next sink over. Her lipstick was smeared and drool piled up in the corner of her lips where the lipstick was the most caked on. She spat into the sink, then turned the handle until the faucet poured water down the drain. You didn't look at her. You washed your hands and kept your head down.

"Feeling better?" You asked.

"No," she answered blankly. "I still feel fuckin' awful. And you wanna know why?" You still didn't look at her. You heard the handle squeal and the faucet stopped running. "Because you... you worthless piece of shit." You flinched and backed away as she slapped a hand on your faucet. "You've got something that I want."

You had been gone for a long time. Richard's worry increased.

"So why pick her?" Charles clicked his tongue. "What does she have? Or is she just for show?"

Richard didn't move. He feared he'd say something that would offput the night entirely. He fiddled with his front pocket and the letter he kept inside it.

"For a man who I often think can't keep his mouth shut on screen, you're being awfully quiet... She must be for show, then... you've got somebody else on your mind? Tell me..." Charles tapped his fingers against the wooden table.

"You asked me what she had that the other girls don't," Richard took a deep breath. "Right?"

Charles nodded, and the drumming of his fingers stopped against the table. "Yeah. So, what is it? She good in bed or something or is she just your specific type?"

"She has something that neither you nor Alex have..." Richard continued. He reached for his wallet in his back pocket to bring out his card. As soon as you came back, you and him would be leaving.

"And what's that?" Charles chuckled cockily.

"Loyalty."

"I don't understand why you get to have someone like that," Alex yelled at you. While taking it, you were quietly begging for someone to come into the bathroom. Someone. Anyone. "Someone rich... someone famous... how can he even adore you?"

"Alex, you're overreacting. Please, calm down," you tried to reason with her. You could see the tears brimming in her eyes. Tears of hatred or tears of defeat? You weren't sure.

"Oh, please. I'm stuck with some cheating, sniveling brat who can't tell the difference from his brain and his balls!" A tear streaked down her hollow face and dislodged a gooey ball of mascara from the corner of her eye. "Oh!" She exclaimed, "I just want someone to love me... is that so fucking hard?"

For a moment, you felt sympathy for the poor woman. Alex had originally been the "leader" of the friend group. Her title and rank got to her head, and she was stripped of the title. For months, she had been trying to work her way back up to the top, but it was always events like these that grounded her. Back to the bottom, and a lonesome start to gaining power.

"Alex," you whispered faintly, "We've been friends for quite some time now, and I think it's my duty, as your friend, to tell you something."

Alex was furiously weeping now and the tips of her fingers were dewed with her smeared mascara. "What?" She said, sniveling.

You backed away and reached your hand back for the door. What you were going to say was going to hurt, but it needed to be said.

"Alex, you are a terrible person," you shook your head, and put on a face of bravery, "and if you want to be someone again, you need to stop using our friend group like a getting to know only you therapy session." You tugged the door open and quickly got behind it, just as Alex screamed in her fury.

Quickly and in a trance, you ran. You ignored all danger transpiring, pushed past all the people heading in your direction and called out, once you were close enough to the booth.

"BOONER!"

Richard heard it as a beckon call. Charles was still sitting, stunned, across from him.

"Well, it was lovely meeting you, Charles, but I'm afraid this date has come to an end. Alex is pleasant enough as well, but I don't think I'll ever be interested in conversing with you again," Richard shimmied out of the booth just as you came around the corner. "I bid you an awful evening."

Just then, you grabbed Richard by his arm, and, in a rush, made for the exit. Richard just barely managed to tip as you passed by the host of your table. The night may have been shit, but the service wasn't.

"I can't believe I actually screamed 'booner' in the middle of a restaurant," you sighed, as soon as you were far enough down the sidewalk to take a break from running.

"If you weren't going to say it, I was. Alex and Charles seem like nice people, but I, simply, do not care for them," Richard laughed then reached to hold your hand instead of having you hug his arm all night.

"You're absolutely in the right mind not to," you didn't blame him for not liking your 'friends.' "They're awful."

"You said it, not me," Richard grinned, then felt his letter crinkle in his pocket as he walked. "There's still time to turn the night around, you know? I don't know what happened in that bathroom for you, but I would certainly like to forget the experience I had over a cup of tea."

"Tea sounds so nice right now," you groaned in satisfaction of the idea.

"Then... how about my place?" Richard offered. You smiled down at the ground. You knew he originally didn't want to do anything for Valentine's Day, and you knew this is far from how things were supposed to go, but you were so glad he could look past all of that, and want to still spend some genuine time with you.

"I'd really like that," you whispered to him.

Richard took you to the nearest streetcorner and hailed another cab for the two of you to share. You didn't mess with him on the way home, this time. You cuddled close to him to show him your appreciation. He showed his appreciation back by wrapping an affectionate arm around your shoulders and holding you tight.

He warmly invited you into his abode and had you sit in the living room while he got his kettle on the stove. He even went as far as to froth milk for the occasion.

"It's not everyday that I have guests over," Richard said from the kitchen, "so why not make things a little fancy?"

You appreciated the effort. He brought out two steaming cups of tea and set it on the coffee table in front of you. He, then, sat down in a comfy chair on the opposite side of the table from you.

"Valentine's Day has never appealed to me, you know," Richard starts. You nod and reach for your cup of tea. "The only thing that really made me happy was the sweets I would get, but I understand now that not everyone feels the way I do. Like you, for example... and you're one of the last people I want to hurt for not liking a specific holiday." Richard reached into his pocket and pulled out the letter that had been there since he first left the house. "This was going to be left in your mailbox this afternoon. That was, until you came to the door in a hurry," Richard placed the letter in front of you on the table.

You set your cup down, smiling. "You really didn't have to, Richard," you murmured and reached for the letter. He insisted, however, and urged you to open the letter anyway. With a smile, you tore it open and tugged the note out. Surprisingly, it wasn't the normal note card with the Sakura tree on the front. It was a Valentine's Day card. On the front, it had a jolly little bee buzzing about. In big, bold letters it read, "BEE MINE?" You glanced up at Richard. He seemed eager. For his sake, you opened the card to see his fanciful handwriting.

Inside, the card itself provided another sappy note. "We bee-long together." You kept reading to his note to you.

To D6,

There are many ways to display one's affections to another without the use of expensive gifts or sweet candies. Your company has been fulfilling to me over these past few months, and every day that I do not tell you how much I care for you eats at me.

This note doesn't express my gratitude or my feelings towards you. So, I ask to meet in person. I'd like to invite you to dinner with me, if that is okay. I want to get to know you in person, and I want, for once, to spend this holiday with someone. If this is acceptable, please respond in any way that you find necessary. I can only hope for the best.

With love, Ayoade.

Beside his signature, there was a little doodle of a bee. You just stared for a moment, going every word twice to make sure you weren't going insane.

To break the silence, Richard spoke. "Would you have accepted my offer?"

Your eyes shot right back up to him. Your lip quivered, but you smiled. You nodded. Richard, then, smiled as well.

"I'm glad," he whispered, then looked down at the two warm cups of tea. He reached for his, then proudly held it up. "Happy Valentine's Day to you, (Y/N)."

You picked up your tea cup as well and held yours out with his. Your cup clicked with his like a cheers to the holiday. "Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Richard..."