#richard ayoade imagines

[limenysnocket]

It's a seasonal thing.

With Care, Ayoade.

Summary: Everyone loves Christmas cards. Why not send out a few? By few I mean one. And it's going to the cute girl across the street.

Pairing: Richard Ayoade x Reader

Warnings: Just some swearing. This is honestly just cute.

A/N: Me and @honorarytenenbaum are working on something great for Richard, but for now, I'll get going on the swing of things and embark on an adventure. An Ayoade adventure.

After all, what's better than writing about my favorite, devilishly handsome introvert? Nothing. Nothing is better than that.

I also threw in a few rhymes. They're cheesy. You're welcome.

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Richard folded his arms across his chest and focused his blank stare at the wall. He was thinking. About what? About the girl across the street in apartment D6 with the with the white curtains patterned with sunflowers. How bright those yellow sunflowers shown in the dreary rain, he thought. They brought up his mood regularly. But lately, those flowers were drenched in a cherry red hue in the night from her odd pick of Christmas lights. All red lights. How strange.

Richard knew of this girl's existence, only because she only rarely closed her curtains. Call Richard a snoop all you want, but there were only so many times he could avoid his office all together.

"Then close your window curtains!" Someone might have said to him.

The man has a right to natural sunlight! It saves energy!

Each evening, after he finished a day's work he would turn around in his comfortable swivel chair and quietly stare out of his large panned window. His large, navy blue, blackout curtains framed his window like the strands of a woman's hair sticking to her cheeks after a long shower.

As Richard stared, he would see the girl from D6 across the way if he looked too hard. In the spring, when the weather was bright and sunny from time to time, he would see her tending to a spry olive plant. In the fall, he would see her decorate her windows festively. She'd have little, construction paper pumpkins or even colorful finger-paint hand turkeys smooshed against the window. Now, it was the winter. Out came the lush red lights. All of these decorations put a smile on Richard's face. He wished his own apartment could be just as festive.

The decorations made him happy. When the curtains were closed, did not. He had grown quite fond of seeing the girl. Her bright smile always lifted him, even from a distance, and even though he had no idea what her name was (he referred to her as D6 for the time being). It was a shame he couldn't be the one to make her smile. From time to time she would bring a guy over. From time to time, with this guy, the curtains would close and Richard would grow increasingly jealous. His mind would wander, and he would stare at the sunflower print and imagine he was on the other side of the curtains, imagining he knew her name and he had just pampered her with the finest of wines, then tea back at her place. Raunchy Richard would then make an appearance... he would then get up and go away from the window.

This happened every year around the holidays. It was so rare to see her alone around the holidays. Usually, those sunflower curtains would be closed all through Christmas and New Years. Around those times, he would stay away from his office. This year, it was increasingly difficult.

Richard flinched from his daze and rubbed his forehead. The stress was getting to him.

He had promised himself not to go upstairs to his office, but he did. He opened his curtains to look at the dreary weather outside, but instead he saw her. Her eyes met his from across the street and Richard froze. She looked so sad, so dull, like the photographed portrait of the Migrant Mother by Dorthea Lange. Her pillowy lips softly parted and eyes hanging so low. Richard recognized it as a face of longing. His knuckles clenched on his curtains as the pressure set in. He didn't move. But D6 did. Richard didn't know if it was just to adjust her hand or if she was going to try and wave him over, but he wasn't taking chances. He closed his curtains and rushed back downstairs and to his own solitude again.

He felt awful. Truly awful. Did she know about his existence now? Had she always known? Crap, she probably thought he was a creeper now. How could he fix this? He didn't even know her name! He was panicking, but silently.

Richard remained in his cozy chair, usually meant for his evening reading with the curtains closed, and stayed there for quite some time. The silence was deafening to him. There had to be some way to approach her and explain why he had flipped out. He could only pray that she hadn't seen him.

But she did.

You had lived across from Richard Ayoade for years, but you never seemed to embrace it as you should. Ah yes, very cute, rich, famous man lives across the narrow one-way road. Very exciting, but you were too busy with other things to approach the author/comedian/host along the way. You had meetings to attend, people to meet, and family to deal with. Such family liked to ask you, yearly and around this time, if you were single. Usually, you were very proud to say no, you were taken but this year was usually rough. You were left alone this Christmas.

Being single again after what you considered to be, a sweet relationship with a certain someone broke you. Did you not try hard enough to get a date this year? Maybe it was just your seasonal bad luck... You sure hoped so.

You had gone to your window, maybe to spot a dorky introvert across the way (admittedly, you liked to spy on him a little. It's not every day that you live across the street from a celebrity). You thought your luck turned when you sat for a minute, staring at closed curtains and they suddenly opened... but staring directly into his home window from your window apartment probably wasn't the best idea. Richard looked freaked at the sight of you. Probably repulsed. You tried to wave to him and fix your mistake, but the minute you broke eye contact and moved your hand, the curtains were closed quick. Shit.

"He thinks I'm a creep, now! I better go apologize..." You freaked out too. The last thing you needed on your mind was thinking the guy across the street might fancy telling the story of his creepy neighbor on live television... and a lot of your friends knew you lived right across from him. Word would get out fast.

You grab your coat and rush out the door in a hurry. You forgot to grab your keys.

From within the small apartment arose such a clatter, some of your neighbors rushed to see what was the matter.

Out the door, down the stairs, racing through the halls like the flash, they frantically watched you make a mad dash.

You pushed the door open and panted when you reached the sidewalk. The light dapple of water hit your face and the very cold, very intolerable air filled your exasperated lungs. It wasn't the best feeling in the world, but all that mattered was apologizing to the rich boy.

You leapt into the street, the very first minute you had your chance to run and not get hit by a car. Some people might have thought you suicidal with the way you were running.

You made it to the opposite curb, luckily, albeit tripping on it when first approaching it. You smoothed your hair back as much as possible and cleared your throat. His door seemed so much scarier from up close. It was a deep, spruce color with a golden knocker. The glimmer of the peephole popped out at you. Now, you were thinking of running away.

Oh well... you were already here. Better make a better second impression.

Your shaky hand reached out and curled around the large, golden knocker. You let it fall timidly, three times. Honestly, you were hoping Richard didn't hear it so he wouldn't answer. Oh...

He totally heard that.

Richard heard a faint knocking at his door, and he nearly shat himself. Shat was probably a more primitive word to use, but... it was true.

He cautiously arose from his seat and quietly went to his door. He didn't even attempt to reach for the handle without checking through the peephole. Who he saw spooked him the most.

'D6!' He thought, 'She's here to yell at me, I bet...'

"M-Mr. Ayoade," your voice sounded muffled through his door, but he pressed his ear more against it just to hear more and more. Your voice was so soft and delicate. He was drawn to it.

"Mr. Ayoade, if you're there, I wanted to apologize..."

Wait. D6... you wanted to apologize to him? You're not going to yell at him?

"I think you may have seen me looking into your apartment, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry for that. It was rude, and I want to admit that I was just looking for a bit of fun. So, I thought maybe having a peek at a celebrity could cheer me up. See, I haven't been having the best of time, this season... ah, but that's no excuse," you looked up at the peephole. Richard was blushing. He looked like a dork with his face all smooshed against the door to the point his nose was bending awkwardly upwards from the force. And you looked really pretty up close. He was positive you'd be even prettier without the peephole dynamics. "I'm really sorry, Mr. Ayoade," you sounded sweet. "I won't be bothering you again. I hope you have a merry Christmas."

You, on the other side of the door, thought you had been talking to no one the entire time. So, when there was no response from within the squished house, you turned away, disappointed but satisfied, and went back to your apartment. You had no idea that you had left a poor man damn near dying to talk to you, if only he could get over his introverted cowardice.

Richard thought and he thought. What could he do to say you didn't have to apologize? He should be the one apologizing. Well, he didn't even exactly plan on telling you that he was fond of your presence and has been for years now. He wanted to apologize, not make you freak out. Jeez.

Richard began to look all over the house. He had to start off somewhere easy...

He started in the kitchen, looking for gift material. He did happen upon an unopened bottle of sparkling cider. That would do just fine.

He then went upstairs to his office. This time, he kept the curtains sealed shut and belligerently turned on a barely-used-but-looks-nice lamp on his desk to search through drawers. He knew what he was looking for this time.

In the second to last drawer in his desk lay an untouched box from a few years ago. It was a box filled with cards and envelopes. On the front of each card had a little Sakura tree illustration. He had bought this pack from a Barnes and Noble a long time ago, and ended up never using it. It wasn't exactly a Christmas theme, but it would have to do.

He plopped the box down on his desk, got out a card and envelope, and trudged a pen from another drawer. It tool quite some thought, and he kept fidgeting with the lamp to get the lighting just right, but he did it. Eventually.

Meanwhile, across the street, you were having a dilemma. You locked yourself out of your apartment. Not intentionally, of course... but you were still upset.

At the first jiggle of your locked door handle, you huffed and swore a little. Then, turned and went down the hall to where you knew your landlord was living. You knocked on the door, looked around a little while you waited for it to open, then spotted a piece of paper slapped on the wall besides a plume of tin mailboxes. Your landlord was on vacation... and they wouldn't be back until the day after Christmas. Great.

All of your neighbors had watched you for a minute while you had a miniature mental breakdown by the mailboxes and they all slunked back into their apartments when you stomped back to your door. What was there to do? The only person in the building with a spare key to your apartment was gone.

You decided to sit in front of your door with your back pressed fully against it. You sat. And you waited.

From time to time, a neighbor would pass. They would say hello, wave at you, or even stop to ask about your predicament. To those who asked, you told a fraction of the truth. You came back to your apartment after a quick trip outside, and you realized you had forgotten the key. You left out the part where you embarrassed yourself in front of the local rich guy.

One guy had come out in particular. His name was Roy, and he lived down the hall. He happened to work in IT in some big company at someplace. You wondered if he had the day off.

Roy was one of the ones that stopped and talked with you. He tried to flirt with you, but gave up when you gave him clear signs that you were in no way interested. He just sighed, then waved.

"Good luck with the whole situation and all that," he said his goodbye.

"Yeah... thanks," you groaned, looking down at the floor. You listened to Roy's footsteps fade, until they came to an abrupt stop.

"Hey, uh... D6, right?" Roy called called the hall. You looked up and Roy popped back into the hallway.

"Yeah?"

"You have a package over here... well, it's not exactly a package. It's more like a drink and a card."

Your curiosity peaked. You got up from where you had been sitting, and abandoned all belongings there recklessly, just to see what was going on. You joined Roy at his side and scanned the row of mailboxes until you came to yours. Sticking out from it like a sore thumb, came the end of a bottle. It looked like it was jammed in there.

"Need me to investigate?" Roy offered.

"No... no, I'll be okay," you muttered and slowly approached your mailbox. "Have a good day Roy." You shooed him away so you could be left alone with your strange bottle and what appeared to be a note. It was crushed underneath the bottle.

You took a firm but careful hold of the end of the bottle. You tugged it. It budged, but not much. You tugged it again, but harder. You had to do it again and again and again. You eventually got it, but not without making at least a few ludicrous sounds and nearly toppling over.

You examined the bottle that you had cradled to your chest. The label was something in a foreign language you did not understand whatsoever. It looked Spanish? Italian? Damn it... French? You just shook your head, bewildered. You didn't understand the language, but you for sure knew it was expensive.

You coddled the bottle to you like a newborn, awkwardly, then reached for the note. You savagely ripped the envelope open with your teeth and set the bottle down at your feet so you could read your note. The letter itself was linen lined and gorgeous. A pink Sakura tree sat like a dollop in the center of the cover. You flipped open the letter and read from the beginning. It was short and stout, but offered plenty explanation.

To the lady I assume lives in D6,

My name is Richard Ayoade, and I live across the street from you. You've probably known this for a long time and I apologize for not introducing myself to you more properly and earlier.

I admit to have hearing you at my door earlier this afternoon and I wanted to say that I was the one in the wrong.

See, for the past few years we have lived across the street from each other, I have grown fond of your presence. I enjoy seeing your decorations each year. They make me smile. Great choice on Christmas lights, I must say. They stand out.

I offer this note and a bottle of cider as an apology. An informal one, I'm sure, but it will have to do until either of us can summon up the courage to meet in person.

With care, Ayoade.

P.S. I also enjoy the plant in your window. Does it have a name?

The last part of the letter made you grin. You put he note into your pocket and picked up your bottle of wine. Maybe you could catch him.

You rushed out the door into the brisk air. Your eyes seeked out Richard... only to find his door was already closed and closed for good. Your hopeful smile fell slightly. Oh well, maybe next time, then. You breathed a sigh, and decided to take one last look at the window you found yourself unconsciously staring at all the time. Much to your luck, the curtains were now open... and there he was.

You saw Richard at his desk, hunched over it for a minute, but after a few more heartbeats, he had turned around. You wanted to jump and run for the hills, having quickly been caught staring again, but you didn't move. As Richard's gaze became more directed at you, you swallowed thickly. He eventually came to a standstill.

Both of you just stood there. He could probably spot how red your cheeks were becoming from the high up window.

You finally had the courage to break this utter stillness.

You slowly raised your free hand, fingers spread and palm facing him. You put on a friendly but embarrassed smile.

You waved.

You swore you could see him smile from his window, even if it was only a glimmer of one.

Richard waved back.

Huh.

Okay... maybe Christmas wasn't all that bad.

[politedemon]

watching soul and this guy just seeing his entire life and it's him sat alone at a diner. uncomfortable look at the future afterlife for me.

[noelsfielding]

I am so sorry to come to you with this but I am honestly lost and you are the closest reference I have about Noel Fielding, I am a BIG fan of Noel, have been for years, and with the Russell stuff comming up I have started getting a bunch of Tik Toks and some post about Noel also being a predator and dating minors, this is hugelly distressing for me as I have a deep an fixated Interest (I am hoping you undestand how that is) Do you know anything about this? Do any of the acusations hold water? I am so scared and worried, he has been a confort for me in very hard times and I must admit I am finding all of this very difficult to navegante

I have had to take a few days to digest all this information myself and I can't and won't tell anyone the right or wrong way to feel about this but I will say, here is where I am at...

I believe the victims of assault, whomever they accuse.

I have not seen any accusations of misconduct against Noel specifically, I have only seen his questionable relationship with Peaches Geldof resurface. This transpired over a decade ago.

I believe that people are capable of change and growth.

I believe that people who make mistakes should be held accountable for their mistakes.

I believe that Noel has had more than one friend who was and still is inappropriate with women, I am not under the impression Noel is that person any longer. I have no idea the extent of his knowledge of the inappropriate behaviour of the others.

Some might try to say OF COURSE he knew, but I had a friend in a band with a VERY BAD person and the whole band had ZERO idea because MOST people like that go to extensive lengths to hide their bad behaviour.

I can't comment on Russell at this time, I have not watched the expose myself but again, my instinct is to believe the victims first. I am disappointed to say the bare minimum.

I have also been recently disappointed with Richard Ayoade throwing his support for someone who is anti-trans. I understand some feel they can separate a person from their morality, but I struggle with that the older I get.

I want everyone to know that their complex feelings on this matter are valid. I am not a big subscriber to the concept of cancel culture, but I am a big proponent of accepting and owning responsibility and accountability and knowing that it is possible to love someone while also recognizing and not excusing their lesser behaviours.

We can talk more on this as things unfold, everyone is welcome to come into this post or inbox and share how they feel, all the feelings are valid and I don't want to see a single person attacking another for feeling differently. Everyone is going to have a myriad of feelings regarding this no matter what happens from this point on and even if we disagree, we should RESPECT.

At this time, the time of me penning this reply, I believe that Noel is a decent person. I think he's a grown man, partner and father and has moved away from a lot of the debauchery of his past, including his times with Russell. I think it's possible that as a 'friend' he turned a blind eye to things and may have even engaged in some inappropriate relationships in the past, but I don't believe that is who he is now. While I am of course disappointed in those things, I can also say there are many things from my life 10+ years ago I am disappointed in too, so I don't feel like I have the right to judge too harshly. I also know that what the press reports and what happens behind closed doors are not always the same and things can easily be blown out of proportion. But at the same time I also know if it walks and talks like a duck....

Feelings are complex, opinions as well. I hold many in my head at a time and I feel like, ultimately what I am trying to say is... I want to believe in the Noel I have come to adore over all these years. The one with great imagination, compassion for the underdogs, and the childlike spirit that makes us all feel so comfortable and safe.

I am very interested to see if he makes any comments in the coming weeks and I hope that I can stand by this statement as time passes. I love all my fieldmice and am here for you while you navigate your own feelings at this time.

[thesillygiggleman]

hey monsters at work tumblr, self indulgent headcanon for declan that does not add to the plot at all but exists entirely for me.

(also to make this make more sense, i have a self insert character for the monsters inc universe who works in IT for monsters inc! so for this headcanon to work imagine there is an IT department at monsters inc)

headcanon that declan used to work in IT at monsters inc. (yes this is only because he’s voiced by richard ayoade and i think it would be a funny IT crowd reference.) also, duncan didn’t know declan existed because no one knows or cares about the IT department (like in the IT crowd). just think it would be funny. declan seems to work good with electronics in the show, so it’d make sense. also could help make him more of a parallel to duncan.

my idea with this is that he used to work for monsters inc, but he disagreed with switching to laugh power so he left. then he somehow ended up at fear co.

i may add more onto this headcanon, but i wanted to share this for now!!

[ocoloc]

These are the people I imagine in my head when listening to red valley

Gordon- Richard ayoade

Bryony- Flo from this years season of The Apprentice

Clive- Alex j newall ( voice of martin blackwood)

Aubrey- Siobhan Thompson

[doublism]

keep making myself chuckle imagining a world where richard ayoade is very famous and has to do like a circuit of interviews and appearances that would make him hate his life so bad. for example: richard ayoade on hot ones. richard ayoade on james corden. richard ayoade on that thing where they make celebrities look at the questions people google about them. richard ayoade architectural digest house tour. richard ayoade hosting snl. i could go on.

[kingmaxstatic]

Fuck it, I'm curious.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I haven't done one of the Chortle roundup posts in a while, mainly because I just haven't seen that many headlines on there that have particularly grabbed my attention. But when I opened the website yesterday, the two at the top seemed worth a screenshot.

What a combination. I have to admit I've dropped off from following The News Quiz lately, for the first time since I first got into it in about 2009, back in the Toksvig days. Followed it through the Miles Jupp days and into the Zaltzman days.

So you'd think I'd have gotten more obsessed with it as I became increasingly obsessed with Andy Zaltzman due to The Bugle, but it sort of had the opposite effect. The News Quiz feels like a somewhat watered down version of Andy Zaltzman, where I can hear him make a lot of the same jokes he makes on The Bugle that week (not that I blame him, he can't be expected to turn over two sets of material every week), but with certain parts cut, for time and/or BBC radio rules and/or format points. I'd rather hear him in the format where he's allowed to go on as much as he wants with fewer restrictions. And most News Quiz guests who are all that great get invited onto The Bugle anyway, so I hear them there.

In early 2023, I started skipping News Quiz episodes if they featured a TERF or a Tory. By mid-2023, I was noticing how often I skipped episodes, and realizing just how frequently they feature one of those was souring the program in my mind. It's worth noting that zero of the TERF or Tory guests have ever turned up on The Bugle, meaning it's not Andy's choice to have them on The News Quiz, I assume it's a BBC balance thing.

The final straw of a long loosening of that show's grip on me came when those quotes about Graham Linehan's book came out and we were all disappointed (but not, like, completely and utterly shocked) in Richard Ayoade, but Simon Evans had added a supportive quote as well. Simon Evans is one of the Tory comedians who turns up on The News Quiz fairly regularly, and I'd thought of him as someone who will make me skip an episode, but not that bad really, I disagree with him but he's not one of those really hardline right-wing horrible people. Is how I thought of him, until I read that he'd thrown his lot in with the absolute worst of them in the Linehan quote, and then I decided that his regular inclusion on The News Quiz is enough to make me not just skip his episodes, but not want much to do with the show anymore. Like I said, I don't blame Zaltzman at all (if Simon Evans turns up on The Bugle that's a different story, but I can't imagine that happening). It's a BBC thing.

Cancel culture, I know. Sorry, right wing. I'm personally canceling all of you by not wanting to take the horrible viewpoints I listen to every day in serious news and then hear them in my entertainment as well.

Anyway, that all makes that Chortle headline extra hilarious. Picking The News Quiz as their example of anti-right wing bias. I was about to write several paragraphs here about why that is bullshit, but actually it's 6 AM and I have to get up for work soon and I cannot be bothered. Everyone reading this already knows why that is bullshit, and I'm at a point in my life where if anyone doesn't know, I don't want to waste energy explaining it, I just want to not hang out with them. Cancel culture, I know. I'm a big fan of cancel culture these days.

Having said all that, that second headline is really worth a look. This is a bit of a ridiculous thing to say given the subjective nature of the genre, but that stand-up show - the tour that Nish Kumar's just announced (via his mailing list that the Chortle article pretty much just copy-pasted, everyone should get on his mailing list so you can get your comedy news from correctly spelled sources, usual disclaimer that I reserve the right to make fun of Chortle misspelling things even though my Tumblr blog misspells things because no one pays me for my Tumblr blog) - might be the best stand-up show. Like. Of all stand-up shows out there. It might be the best one. Nish might do his tour in late 2024 (following an Edinburgh run, that I desperately hope will include dates in the first week of the festival because I would love to see the finished show live) and then everyone might be able to just pack and up and say "Well, it's okay that the world's ending, because at least stand-up comedy has been done to perfection. We can all move on now." (I mean, except some people on some comedy message boards whom I'm pretty sure won't like him no matter what he does, and also I guess the Daily Mail won't like him no matter what he does for very different reasons, sorry he's not Fin Taylor and some people stand for something, also sorry for dedicating a sentence of my Tumblr post to responding to a message board post I saw last week for which no one on this website has context, I'd say about 5% of my posts these days are doing that.)

I realize this is a weird thing to say about a tour that hasn't started yet, and a show that hasn't been completed yet. But I've heard some of the WIP material, and if you put all that material together, and wrap it around some structure and stuff - which is what I assume Nish Kumar intends to do before touring it as a full hour - I'm pretty sure that's a recipe for the best stand-up comedy show I've ever heard. Absolutely everyone who has the ability to do so should check this show out. I think Nish Kumar's at his best ever right now, and that means a hell of a lot when you consider how much I've venerated his previous stuff. He keeps improving on perfection and I think everyone should just stop bothering making comedy after this one. After I get the chance to gaze upon the eighth wonder of the world in Edinburgh 2024, that is.

[oddygaul]

Plane Movie Roundup #1 - Henry Sugar, Spaceman, Enter the Dragon

Initially it felt a little weird to group things as Plane Movies, but then I thought about it some more, and… well, have I really watched something if I've only watched it on a plane? Yes, but also no. I think it’s helpful context to remember I watched something tired, distracted, and with the constant rumble of a jet engine blaring in my ear.

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

I actually watched all of this series of shorts except this one last year (The Rat Catcher was my fav), but just now got around to Henry Sugar. So, this applies to all of them, but - I absolutely love the style these shorts are done in. The rapid, feverish monologues while the actors stare the audience down complements Wes Anderson’s style to a T, and the constant shuffle of the sets and stagecraft is enthralling. The actors all swapping between multiple roles adds a very odd drama to the proceedings, and the casting was great as well - I can’t imagine someone I’d rather have locking eyes with me and calmly reciting narration than Richard Ayoade.

Anyway, Henry Sugar in particular was alright. The slow unveiling of the mystery in the first half kept my attention, but when all was said and done it felt a little saccharine. I thought it started to broach a genuinely interesting discussion about the class disparity of skill mastery: for all that we romanticize the idea of the starving artist, isn’t an independently wealthy person, who doesn’t have to spend time worrying or doing anything about their bills, plans or obligations*, able to have a fast track to bettering any skill they want? Doesn’t it feel particularly frustrating that despite creative arts typically being seen as a pure expression of emotion and feeling, due to the massive time investment required to excel, they're tied up in social status just like everything else? The example here was even particularly salient to examining that idea, given the inherent spirituality often suggested by meditation which Sugar clearly lacks.

*Not to mention the cost of equipment and the networking / connections required to actually make a career out of something creative, even if you’ve already gained the skill to do it

And yet, in a twist even more unrealistic than being able to see through solid objects with one’s eyes closed, the laughably wealthy man decides to use his new wealth-gaining technique to better the world and help those around him. What a fairy tale.

Part of me wishes it followed the hinted-at horror tangent of Sugar being unable to see anything beyond the base organic makeup of all the bodies around him… but we have Luther Strode for that, I guess.

Spaceman

Wasn’t really impressed by this movie… I think what the creators found interesting about the premise and what I found interesting about the premise were drastically different. If you came here for Space Madness – Is This Man Really Hanging Out With a Giant Spider or Not??, well, that sucks, because Spaceman is largely disinterested in questioning Jakub’s sanity and is content to accept Hanuš as his giant space therapist with very little fuss. If you’re here for Loneliness in Space – Can One Even Begin to Fathom the Ultimate Desolation of the Void??, again, not so much.

Instead, the movie is essentially Toxic Man Who Was Shitty to His Wife and Spends Way Too Much Time at Work Realizes That’s Bad While in Orbit of Jupiter which… didn’t do much for me. Feels real easy to have an epiphany about how you were wrong when you’re half a solar system away and can’t actually work on that problem in any meaningful way… and then the way he tries reaching out is by sending a generic, manipulative message to his wife and then immediately flinging himself out of his ship on a suicidal one-way spacewalk? Doesn’t really feel like you meaningfully learned your lesson, my guy.

The ridiculousness of the spider did result in some great moments, though. Hanuš rollin out of the pantry eating nutella while saying “Hey, tough break bud, that sounds really rough” like he’s Adam Sandler’s fuckin college roommate was pretty choice.

Enter the Dragon 

Initial thoughts: god damn Bruce Lee is hot as fuck Latter thoughts: god damn Bruce Lee is scary

This was my first Bruce Lee movie… and what a trip it was. From the jump, I felt like I was out of my depth in a weird way when he started talking about ���emotional content’, but still, I enjoyed this from an aesthetic standpoint if nothing else.

Mostly, Enter the Dragon was one of those movies where upon watching it, dozens of other things clicked into place in my head - media that was inspired by it, media that has parodied it, media that’s reverent towards it. And here, unlike many other times where I’ve first experienced older, hugely influential works, I was immensely entertained. The music is groovin start to finish, it has some of the best funny cheese moments (Bruce throwing the snake into the guardroom, the facility guards walking around with nunchuks like that’s a thing that anyone does), and the fight choreo is killer. Lee absolutely schooling O’Hara in their duel with that move like water shit… mmm. Give me more of that.

Okay, so the other thing that really struck me is how fucking scary Bruce Lee is in this movie. Now, maybe I just think of kung fu movies as lighthearted due to their constant parody in pop culture, or because the ones I actually grew up with, like Kung Fu Hustle, are decidedly comedic - but even putting that aside, I think Enter the Dragon genuinely is intentionally tongue-in-cheek much of the time. It even plays into the nonviolent, “don’t worry, they’re just sleeping” trope with Bruce only knocking out the guards on his nighttime excursion. So it came as a real shock every time Bruce Lee just straight up fucking brutally murdered a dude. Look, with O’Hara it makes sense, he absolutely had it coming, but it’s still wild to watch the camera slowly pan into Bruce Lee’s face, fully focusing on his thousand-yard-stare, theremins going wild in the background. Not a man to fuck with.

[umbiedecoder]

since i started bloodborne recently ive been working on my ocs for it, mainly how i imagine them sounding

this is laverne, she’s supposed to be steampunk adjacent, and if i had to give her a voice it would be richard ayoade

[themovieblogonline]

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar Review: A Splendid Delight

Director Wes Anderson's adaptation of Roald Dahl's The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar is a whimsical and visually stunning short film that masterfully captures the essence of Dahl's storytelling while infusing it with Anderson's signature style. This film, following Anderson's successful adaptation of Fantastic Mr. Fox in 2009, continues to explore Dahl's imaginative world on the big screen. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar is the first installment in a four-part series of shorts based on Dahl's short stories, and it sets a high bar for what's to come. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RdncisZ_QA The Good: The film revolves around the character of Henry Sugar, portrayed with charismatic finesse by Benedict Cumberbatch. Henry Sugar is a wealthy man leading a shallow and unfulfilled life, desperately seeking meaning. When he stumbles upon a story about a guru who possesses the extraordinary ability to see without using his eyes, his curiosity is piqued, and he embarks on a transformative journey. Cumberbatch's performance is captivating, as he transitions from a jaded, morally ambiguous character to a man genuinely yearning for spiritual enlightenment. Ralph Fiennes, who plays the role of Roald Dahl and also doubles as The Policeman, adds depth and nuance to the narrative. His portrayal of Dahl is reminiscent of the author himself, and his presence in the film serves as a meta-narrative touch that connects the audience to the source material. The Policeman, a key character in the story, is portrayed with a delightful blend of sternness and curiosity. Dev Patel shines as Dr. Chatterjee, Henry's trusted friend and confidant. His role as a guide and mentor to Henry on his quest for self-discovery is both heartwarming and inspiring. Patel brings an earnestness to the character, making the audience root for Henry's transformation and growth. Ben Kingsley's portrayal of Imdad Khan, The Dealer, is another highlight of the film. Kingsley embodies the character with an air of mystery and wisdom. His interactions with Henry Sugar are riveting, as they engage in high-stakes gambling where more than just money is at stake. Kingsley's presence adds an element of tension and intrigue to the story. Rupert Friend's Claud provides comic relief and serves as a contrast to the serious themes of the film. Friend's quirky and eccentric performance injects humor into the narrative, offering moments of levity amidst the philosophical exploration of Henry's journey. Richard Ayoade takes on the role of Dr. Marshall, The Great Yogi, whose teachings and practices guide Henry Sugar on his quest for spiritual enlightenment. Ayoade's enigmatic and tranquil portrayal of Dr. Marshall exudes an aura of mysticism, drawing viewers into the mystical world of yogic practices and meditation. Visually, The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar is a feast for the eyes, a hallmark of Wes Anderson's filmmaking style. The film's vibrant color palette, meticulously crafted set designs, and whimsical costumes create a world that is both nostalgic and surreal. Anderson's penchant for symmetry and meticulous framing is evident in every scene, making each frame a work of art in itself. The attention to detail, from the intricate props to the carefully choreographed sequences, is a testament to Anderson's dedication to his craft. One of the film's strengths lies in its exploration of themes such as self-discovery, spirituality, and the pursuit of inner happiness. Through Henry Sugar's journey, the audience is encouraged to reflect on their own lives and question the values they hold dear. The film's message is both thought-provoking and heartwarming, reminding us that true wealth lies not in material possessions but in the richness of one's soul. The Bad: The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar is not without its flaws, however. Some viewers may find the pacing to be slightly uneven, particularly in the middle portion of the film, where the narrative delves deep into Henry's life. While this section is crucial to the character's development, it may test the patience of those seeking a faster-paced story. Overall: The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar is a delightful and visually captivating adaptation of Roald Dahl's work. Wes Anderson's unique directorial style, combined with a stellar cast and a whimsical visual aesthetic, makes this short film a standout in the realm of literary adaptations. It successfully captures the essence of Dahl's storytelling while adding Anderson's own artistic flair. With its exploration of profound themes and memorable performances, this film is a must-watch for fans of both Dahl and Anderson. As the first installment in a promising four-part series, it leaves audiences eager to see what other Dahl tales Anderson will bring to life. Read the full article

[theoneandonlywonton]

Headcanon: Garth Marenghi and Gordy Lasure exist in the same universe.

I love the idea of these meta pieces of media that are basically linked through Richard Ayoade being part of the same universe.

Also imagine Garth and Gordy talking to each other, or Gordy critiquing the new 'Darkplace' film. They would spar with each other so aggressively.

[jacobbyart]

not sure if anybody has any info on this but does anyone remember the old fanmade trailer for wtnv with radioactive by imagine dragons in the background? i think it had richard ayoade as cecil and edgar ramirez as carlos???? PLEASE i still think about it a lot so much actually but i cant find it

[firespirited]

Today’s film: The Souvenir (2019) I hemmed and hawed over watching this, a young woman gets caught up with a man with a dark secret - yeah yeah we’ve all seen it in fifty different variations.

All I can say is the director has an eye for beautiful and clever visuals (mirrors and framing, great camera work) and Tilda Swinton is excellent at her job (though outshined by Richard Ayoade as a bit character who delivers ev-er-y-thing).

Here’s the thing, it could have worked but the main actors lack chemistry: you definitely don’t get why she’d find him exciting let alone charming and she’s far too understated when she’s supposed to be stressed out of her mind. They also both lack the physicality of what their characters are going though, he has outbursts from time to time but lacks all the tics and bite. She retains her poise and prettiness even when alone, she doesn’t even ugly-cry or look sick when she’s ill. It’s hard to relate when the actors seem to be performing a stress they can’t fully imagine.

I’m sure Joanne Hogg will do fantastic work once she devotes her talent to just the filmmaking and lets someone else write the scripts and cast the actors. She’s got the skills, she needs to find that storytelling collaborator.

[hectormcfilm]

Wes Anderson/ Roald Dahl short film reviews- The Rat Catcher, Poison, The Swan and The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

Recently Wes Anderson released 4 short films on Netflix all based off Roald Dahl short stories. I have been planning on doing a series of reviews on my blog for one filmmakers and these short films have given me the perfect excuse to catch up on all the Wes Anderson films I haven't seen- which includes 5 films, nearly half his filmography: Bottle Rocket, The French Dispatch, Life aquatic, Darjeeling limited and Asteroid city. I will review all 5 of these films on my blog over the next few weeks. From the Wes Anderson films I have seen however I can say I am mixed on his filmography, I think he has one masterpiece with Fantastic Mr Fox, something I am very nostalgic for and think is gorgeous from an animation and directing standpoint with by far his best characters. But besides this masterclass I find most of his films just decent, I find his fun colourful style is visually pleasing but wares off after a while and can be overdone, taking away from the story or limiting what eh could do technically. I will see though if my binge of his filmography changes my mind and gives me a greater appreciation for his style.

THE RAT CATCHER

The Rat Catcher was fun with some issues. My favourite part of this whole short film was the skyline being a beautiful painting and the overall yellow and orange colour palette quite reminiscent of Fantastic Mr Fox. I thought Ralph Fiennes was great in this, his costume and prosthetics make him nearly unrecognisable and I enjoy the parallels between the rat catchers and the rats themselves but wish the narration didn't so obviously point this out and discuss it. I am mixed on Richard Ayoade, I love him as a comic and I always enjoy his deadpan almost emotionless delivery but in this his narration became almost overwhelming to me and unnecessary in certain moments, I understand it is a short story and Wes wants to keep the idea of this being a story book but it felt like too much dialogue distracting from the visuals at times. I really enjoyed the use of stop motion for the rat and having the rat catchers voice come out of it as a neat detail. The directing is stellar, keeping Wes' usual style but having some more interesting moments like the dramatic lighting towards the end in the final confrontation, having extreme close ups and Dutch angles to heighten the tension as well was unique for his style which I appreciate. I wasn't a fan however of the use of imagination as it seemed like it was used randomly and for no good reason, relying too much on the constant narration and I am not a huge fan of the cut away to Ralph Fiennes looking normal, it is only for two lines and very unexplained. Overall a fun little short film.

THE SWAN

The second short film I watched was the Swan and this was definitely my least favourite. I will start off by saying the use of theatre elements like the set being shown and having characters open doors onto set, having stage hands walk on to help adjust things was all genius and definitely the best part of this film, adding a distinct feel. I thought the camera work was technically impressive, usually tracking the character or moving from left to right in long shots, very well done. However my main issues are with the narrative, I didn't find myself that invested as with the little time and use of narration no character was memorable or had much personality besides the two antagonists being evil and mean. There isn't the charm and fun of rat catcher and I thought the subject matter and ending was maybe too serious and dark for the more fun tone the rest of the film attempted, felt quite muddled tonally. The lead performance had a good use of voices, playing all the characters but his body language and facial expressions were limited. However, I did really enjoy the use of stop motion again and the shot looking through binoculars and between his feet. Still technically impressive but personally I found this quite unengaging and dull.

POISON

I thought this one was a lot of fun with only a few issues. Similar to The Rat Catcher this one had a distinct colour palette of mainly green with some yellow, reflecting usual symbolism of green being poisonous. I thought the acting in this was the best yet, Dev Patel bringing the most charismatic and entertaining narration so far, keeping it engaging and not making it feel overwhelming but more like natural dialogue. Ben Kingsley appearing was a big shock, as such a highly acclaimed job he had a great performance even in his little screentime. I loved the self awareness this was on a set, the camera moving from room to room where walls should be and having more stage hands appear to hand out props. One small detail heightened by watching this with headphones was the audio in the telephone scene between Patel and Kingsley, when Patel spoke the audio only worked in the left ear whilst when Kingsley spoke it was in the right, a neat little detail. I liked the use of split screen, extreme close ups on Benedict Cumberbatch and split screen, all added a lot of personality. My few problems are the lack of proper characterisation and the ending being in my opinion very random and too ambiguous, making everything feel pointless. Pretty good overall but I do think the lack of depth or personality to characters in all of these is a hinderance and shows like Love death and Robots have proved you can have great in depth interesting characters within a short runtime.

THE WONDERFUL STORY OF HENRY SUGAR

The final short film I watched was the longest and arguably my favourite, this and Poison sit around the same level. I enjoyed how this one opened with Roald Dahl and had the most natural use of him compared to the randomness of the Rat Catcher. I thought this one as usual excelled with the more meta elements like showing the audience clearly everything is a set, having stagehands helping and even having a mistake of a character wearing the wrong moustache and having to change it. These small details add so much personality to all of them besides the Rat catcher which avoided this technique strangely. This definitely had the best story and a bigger focus on character, including a full character arc. Dev Patel proved himself again as a charismatic narrator and needs to be in more of Wes Anderson's work, fitting his style perfectly. I really enjoyed the ending of this, a fun montage of Benedict's different allies he dawned and it ends on a great message about helping others and learning his own selfish ways. My main problem with this arc he goes on is I don’t think the short made Henry Sugar selfish enough in the beginning, he never felt evil or mean.

Overall I think these short stories are all fun and well made, I believe The Swan is the weakest and has a very messy tone with uninteresting narration but besides that they are all quite entertaining and pretty good.

[doublism]

for me, the hard part has been reconciling the image i had of his work - as profound, and unique, and showing a rare depth of outlook - with a now-exposed point of view that is not only hateful and bigoted, but also seems so philosophically empty and pointless and banal. it feel like a very silly thing to take issue with when the actual problem is the profound bigotry on show. but still, i now find myself regarding richard ayoade's work with so much less grace than i used to like. a week ago. and it's been pissing me off, not just that he would see this sort of hate as appropriate, but that he would see an ideology so empty as spiritually viable. and i imagine other vile things he could have done, and this one is just so stale. it's a detached and uninspired endorsement of a pointless ideology. and here are these films i feel in love with the soul of, and now they feel much much flatter. somehow that's the part that's killing me

you nailed it yeah i've been turning over similar thoughts in my mind as well. i honestly don't know what my relationship to his movies will be from now on.