#rewiring my brain im so serious

[ilostyou]

i listened to im still your boy by luke hemmings 50+ times in the past week in case anyone was curious

[junkmailmusubi]

IM GONNA SCREAM

[saevity]

happy 10 years to solitaire I am thinking about them always

it’s been snowing like crazy here so it obviously got me thinking about tori and michael….. i love and miss them your honour i can’t wait to see them again

[narutomaki]

not experiencing sexual attraction is a curse cast upon me I think given all the other stuff going on with me

[dilfkuza]

thinking about Kiryu so much today has given me the urge to finish some of my kazumaji fics + start 2 more. dont ask me how many are already sitting in my drafts <3

[convoloutedinjoke]

Rating Disco Elysium characters based on how funny I think their kinks have the potential to be

Harry: the DSM of getting off on things. He likes piss he likes feet he likes the idea of being soooo small and tiny you could step on him like a bug, and while none of these things are funny on their own they are when he does them on account of his being a clown. He would also fuck a clown, incidentally. 8/10, knocking two points off because this lacks the element of surprise.

Kim: Leather and uniform fetishist. No wise guy shenanigans here. Will fuck you serious will fuck you professional. His strap is extremely normal, his daddy/boy dynamics are not a laughing matter. 4/10 because he wants to have relations with his car and is embarrassed about it

Jean: No idea what gets him off but he genuinely believes whatever it is means he’s evil and weird, making him the proud owner of The Worlds Funniest Kinks. 9/10, steals mustard from the homeless without remorse but has a moral crisis every time he cums while fantasising about getting gangbanged in a holding cell. Sad!

Trant: not funny. too passionately open about the things hes into. if you tried to make light of his trampling fetish, he would recite the wikipedia entry on cock and ball torture to you from memory and look delighted to be sharing his interests with you the whole time. 3/10

Klaasje: not funny to most on account of being conventionally attractive and good at billing her sexual encounters as suffused with romantic, literary ennui but it SHOULD be funny to be such a Lana Del Rey motherfucker in the sheets so I’m pulling rank and saying 7/10

Joyce: cringefail class dynamics fantasies. Bodice rippers and the opposite of CEO erotica feature heavily here. This wouldn’t be funny if not for the fact she literally owns a yacht. Also wants to get stabbed a little bit. 5/10, probably read the elysium version of lady chatterlys lover as a teen and still jerks off about it.

Garte: a normal man if there ever was one. has kinks but they aren't funny. wears a bra sometimes and it looks cute. 1/10 probably fun to hook up with and a decent communicator

The Deserter: given the 5 decades of loneliness, im willing to bet his brain has rewired itself into having some interesting potentially bug-related reward pathways but whatever he's got going on is too sad to laugh about. 0/10 :(

Sunday Friend: his kinks would be funny on anyone else, but he’s very very very boring. 2/10, you can pay a twink to do raceplay with you, but it wont dispel the grey miasma of being a mid tier government employee

evrart: I don’t know honestly, the lying and manipulating and petty power plays scrambled my brain despite the rube-Goldbergian elements of all his little tasks. Maybe he’d do predicament bondage? Uh. 3/10. Id let him hit, but he also has kind of a Wallace n Grommit thing going on so I can’t say 0

Steban: big on role playing but isn’t very good at it. Starts giggling halfway through when it becomes apparent how silly the fake muttonchops are. 4/10, less funny than it could be because he has a sense of humour about it

Ulixes: probably has a guro thing but also hasn’t had sex since he started focusing on reading theory and feints at the sight of real blood. This should be less funny than pretending to be Kras Mazov in bed, but he takes himself extremely seriously. 6/10 until he starts getting laid again, then still 6/10 but for other reasons

Gary: cuck chair. 10/10. I am not elaborating because I’m tired now, but someone else made a convincing post at one point

[stuckinapril]

So tempting to keep embarking on the same self destructive cycle over & over & over again . But at some point you have to put ur foot down w ur own behaviors & be the thing that truly saves u

Honestly it boils down to reparenting yourself & rewiring your own neuronal pathways & telling yourself a firm “stop” when you notice your mind slipping down negative loopholes & being present in the moment & enjoying being mid task rather than waiting for it to end & not thinking of inertia as your baseline and natural way of living

[gravytrainnaturebornn]

the power of self-talk in the fight against self-sabotage (for binge-eaters and ppl who have never been skinny🫶)

disclaimer: this is not proana. this is for people who struggle with binge eating as a form of self-sabotage, emotional comfort, self harm, etc. overeating can cause just as much harm physically and mentally as undereating. please be safe. now, on with the show!

weight loss, but specifically extreme weight loss, equals change. change equals discomfort, so people tend to subconsciously avoid change. this is why starting to see progress on the scale or your body can trigger the urge to self-sabotage that progress and binge eat.

for people who have been big their whole lives, that fear is heightened by the fact that being thin is completely uncharted territory. by following through, youre entering a new world that youve never navigated before. your brain might get scared, say its much too big a mountain to climb, and tell you to give up. its easier to say fuck it because for most people, unhappiness is a comfort zone. if youre used to hating your body and wanting it to change, then actually *changing* it poses a very serious threat to your comfort and the lifestyle youre used to.

questions like: "what if i reach my goal and im still unhappy/unattractive?" "what if i dont look like myself?" "what if i reach my goal, cant sustain it, and then i gain it all back and humiliate myself?" can all make someone feel anxious about succeeding in their weight loss journey. and for people with overeating issues, this is a big trigger for binge episodes.

so how do you combat this instinct to self sabotage? well, im not a psychologist so take this with a grain of salt, but for me it helps to soothe these subconscious fears and train the brain to fight these urges. self-talk and thought-correction play a HUGE role in rewiring the pathways in your brain that lead you to bingeing. truly, practice and consistency are the only things that are going to cause a big change, so stick with it !

correcting problematic thoughts *immediately* when they form is key to preventing problematic behavior in the future, and that starts with being able to identify those thoughts. the moment you catch yourself thinking about food, cut yourself off with a correction. maybe even think about food on purpose a few times to practice recognizing and correcting it.

for example, if you just ate an hour ago, chances are youre not actually hungry yet. tell yourself that as soon as you realize youre thinking about food. i like to tell myself "i dont need to eat, and im not gonna sabotage myself by eating that." by acknowledging it and calling it what it is--literally an attack, by my brain, on my own progress--i immediately attach a sense of accountability to the actions that follow. there's no deniability. its no longer a passive choice. theres no mindless eating or "i wasnt thinking about it." if i eat after acknowledging the act of eating as self-sabotage, then that is me *actively* choosing self-sabotage over self-control. accountability alone can change a lot if you let it.

what i tell myself changes depending on the situation, but i find that repeating some of these phrases throughout the day helps to fight urges in general, and certain ones help for specific cravings and situations.

below are some examples of things i tell myself that have helped me fight the urge to self sabotage. they dont all have to be true when you first say them, the point is training your brain to think a certain way. it may feel unnatural at first, but the more you say them the more natural it becomes, until eventually it becomes apart of the way you actually think and you dont have to work so hard at it. remember: consistency. is. key.

okay ill stop blabbing! here:

•i allow myself to be thin.

•i accept the change that comes with losing weight.

•i am ready to see myself differently and cope with any complicated feelings that may come with it.

•i am prepared for my body to change.

•i will deal with my wardrobe when the time comes, and im not afraid of dressing differently for my new body.

•i will adjust to my new dietary needs and appetite when i reach my goal weight. i will not always be hungry; eating less will be my new normal, and i will be okay.

•i am not afraid of being hungry.

•food does not comfort me, nor does it solve my problems or make me feel better.

•i am ready to navigate a life that looks different to the one im living now.

•i am not afraid of reaching my goal. if i do feel afraid, i am confident in my ability to work through difficult feelings and continue towards my goal.

•im not going to sabotage myself by eating that.

•i accept that people will perceive me differently, and i am ready to navigate that change.

•i am prepared to receive comments about my weight loss.

•i am not afraid of getting what i want.

•i believe i deserve what i want, and im dedicated to working towards getting it.

•i am capable of adapting to new routines and habits.

•fear is not a reason to give up, and i will continue to work even if the possibility of change makes me uneasy.

•i am prepared to face the future, even though i do not know what it looks like.

•i allow myself to make mistakes, and i will not use them as an excuse to quit.

•my long-term satisfaction is more important than what i want in this moment.

•i am in control of my actions and i am capable of resisting the urge to binge.

•i allow myself to have the body i desire.

•i allow myself to change.

•i allow my life to look different and i am not afraid to see a new person in the mirror.

•i am excited to reach my goal, and prepared to navigate any changes that come with it.

•i am ready to meet and introduce others to the new me.

[puckpocketed]

get ready for avs essays, babeyyyyyyy!!! 

so i’m actually completely fine with it if you don’t find nate compelling but since you bring him up, i will start with him. 

the thing about fortnite gamergirl nathan mackinnon is that he is like. very talented and reasonably conventionally attractive and also soooooooo cringefail. he’s the league mvp and a stanley cup champion and he has a gorgeous fiancée and he’s rich and he’s smashing through joe sakic’s franchise records left and right.... and he’s succchhhhhh a loser (affectionate). he’s uncomfortable all the time. he doesn’t know how to act. he’s pretty private but also he’ll just Say Things that are way too personal with the exact same tone he’d use to. i dunno. tell you what brand of sneakers he wears. he’ll also reveal things about the most private man in sports, squidney crocsby, that are way too personal—and sid apparently is fine with this because he continues to be boybestfriends and next door neighbors with the guy.

everyone thinks he is soooooo serious alllll the time (in spite of the fact that he is goofy and silly when he’s out with the boys) but it’s just a combination of a) his face just looks like that b) he’s just intense in general. he’s equally unchill about how much he fucking loves the boys and how much he loves his tiny dog. and c) mostly we see him when he is at his fucking job? and when he’s at work it’s All Business. don’t make him do dumb social media shit or ask him stupid questions about whether or not he thinks preseason is too long, he’s! busy! come back when it’s puppy day. 

he’s so focused on being working harder and being better and improving everything about his game and yet!!! he cannot win a faceoff 💖 he trains with squidney all summer! every year!! you would think he could learn something from the guy. but no, he doesn’t even seem to try to win faceoffs sometimes. he’s also. not ? defensively responsible? i do not exactly expect him to play like kopitar, here. i don’t even think he should waste all his energy backchecking; like, that’s not the thing we need him for. but idk from a guy who is sooooo fucking smart about hockey, a little more situational awareness would be nice. just a thought! like, if he wanted to be better at things, maybe he could get better at the things he’s terrible at? (but whatever, this gives me more of an excuse to push my ondřej pavel -> big boys’ club agenda). like. nate is an elite 1C—except that he doesn’t forecheck and doesn’t defend and one of his wingers (jonathan drouin) is actually the playmaker and the other winger (mikko rantanen) has to take all his faceoffs for him 🥰 

his one and only love language is trying to convince the boys to come play with him (jo, jack eichel, mitch marner, jo again). he doesn’t like late games, because he doesn’t nap. and he doesn’t nap because he can’t sleep during the day. and he can’t sleep during the day because he drinks too much water, so he has to piss too much. babygirl, why would you volunteer this information 💕 he tells people to call him “the dogg” and then they do. he says awkward sentences that rewire my brain. he should be cool, but he isn’t!!!!! he extremely fucking isn’t.

this is my natemac thesis, you can take it or leave it (said with love!!!!! there are other players i am significantly more invested in getting people on board with). i think many other people can speak more eloquently than i can about everything impressive he does on the ice. but he’s one of my special little guys bc of everything else

i have no idea what to do with all this <3 I'm here because he just bonked my ducks into oblivion - im hoping this cures his dogboy depression (it was becoming so wretched that it had started leaking into my curated feeds) - and it made me think of this ask which i've been marinating. hello!!

fortnite legend natemack is the exact age to have grown up in the heyday of COD xbox lobbies, do u ever think about that . i think about that now. do u think natedogg is his gamertag. rpf people are you writing gamergirl natemack AUs yet? has that happened yet? (sorry i don't. i don't have any clue what tropes are popular. im just throwing stuff at the wall <3)

nate is an elite 1C—except that he doesn’t forecheck and doesn’t defend and one of his wingers (jonathan drouin) is actually the playmaker and the other winger (mikko rantanen) has to take all his faceoffs for him 🥰

^craziest description of a 1C i've ever heard AND the most compelling he has ever been.

also thank u for not makin some kind of eating disorder joke amongst all this. it IS that serious (to ME) and people do this so much and i think they're not as funny as they think they are <3 (<- WHO SAID THAT!!!)

MYE two cents looking thru a writer/narrative lens: just, like, skimming whatever the hell comes up about him, he strikes me as someone who is very sincere. i get that everyone calls it "intensity" but i think sincerity has its own power. idk. i think he's very brave for wanting what he wants so transparently and wholly. <3 fortnite legend nathan mackinnon you are in my crosshairs......

[vashsmunch]

Where do we go from here? pt. 2 NSFW

Vash x GN Reader

Synopsis: basically, you and vash are roommates who met by him crawling up to your door injured one night, praying you wouldn't kill him. you treated his wounds and have basically been his personal nurse ever since, as he keeps doing dumb shit. but the entire time, you always wished it was something more.

Warnings: just nsfw LMAOAO | don't continue if you're under 16

A/N: im sorry for splitting it into three parts, i just want to get rid of this one before it sits in my drafts forever

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───  

"You're being serious, right? No games?"

Vash nodded his head firmly. A few long moments of silence passed between you two, both keenly aware of the tension being exchanged as your eyes met. This mood of vulnerability wasn't necessarily new with him, but the feeling of romanticism was. There were plenty of times the two of you had talked. Most of them were you asking him about his travels and what he's been through. Sometimes it was hard hearing about it; your heart would ache as he told you about the people he had inadvertently hurt and how he collected all his scars. When you would change his bandages, your fingers lingered a few seconds too long, slightly caressing the chunks of mended wounds scattered across his chest. Even now, you raised your hand to trace them, feeling his body shiver. 

There was something so irritating about how he refused to recognize his pain because he felt he didn't deserve it. More than anything, you wanted him to understand that it wasn't his fault, and now you finally had a chance to do so. You just needed to figure out how.

"I want you, Vash. I truly do. But I need you to understand something. If we do this, whatever this is, you can't hide from me. Not anymore," Your fingers trail up his collarbone and neck to cup his cheek gently, and he breathes a heavy sigh as he melts into your touch. "I'm so in love with you, and I don't think you fully understand that. I don't care how much you think you'll hurt me because there's a reason I let you into my house that night. You've pushed me away more times than I can count, and despite all that, I was waiting each time you came back. You don't have to love me back, not right now. All I ask is that you let yourself indulge. Stop treating me like some delicate porcelain doll, and show me all of you, even the parts you try so hard to ignore. Because when I say I want you, I want all of you." 

You paused, waiting for him to react; you hadn't expected yourself to confess so readily, but part of it was to prove your devotion. A wanted man with a bounty of sixty million double dollars on his head, and yet you were here on his lap, pleading for him to let you in. He was always keeping his distance, even when you practically hurled yourself at him. You just needed one chance, a singular moment, to show him that you meant all of it, that all the words weren't just on a whim. 

He was silent for a few seconds as if he was rewiring his entire brain to try and process what you had just said. After a bit, he responded in a low voice, looking down. "If I do that, I hope you know I'll never let you go. You would eternally be with me because I wouldn't be able to stand seeing you with anyone else. Is that really okay with you? To be all mine?" One of his hands slowly slid down your hips to rest on your thigh, gently squeezing the flesh. 

You let out a soft snort of disbelief as your fingers gripped his chin to pull his gaze toward yours. "After all I said, you're still asking me that? Shut up and take me, dumbass."

A smile immediately appeared on his face as he kissed you again; this time, it wasn't filled with regret and guilt. Instead, there was relief; you could practically feel the joy radiating off his body. For the first time, he was finally allowed to love and be loved with no strings attached. No betrayal around the corner, no sacrifices made, and you were more than happy to let him indulge in all of it and all of you.

He gently trailed his lips down your jaw, reaching the dip of your neck and softly kissing it. There was a slight suction noise and an ache where his mouth had been when he came back up to look at you. You snickered as you cupped the back of his head to pull him closer. "Marking your territory? You don't leave much to the imagination, huh?" His cheeks grew pink as he returned to peppering your skin with featherlight kisses, turning your giggles into quiet whines of pleasure. When he hit a sensitive spot, your hips ground against him out of reflex. 

He gasped, and you instantly pulled back, mortified at what you'd just done. "I'm so sorry, I just did it out of- We don't have to go there if you don't want to." You stumbled over your words as you clutched your face and turned away, wanting to die from embarrassment. 

Vash laughed softly as he raised his hands to pull your fingers away, trying to get you to look at him. "You know, when you said that you wanted to be mine, I was hoping that implied something more than just kissing," Your eyes grew wide, and he grinned at you, delighted with your reaction. He leaned in close again, whispering into your ear. "If you want to heal me, let me take care of you. Seeing you happy is the best medicine I could ever receive, angel." 

A whimper left your mouth as he reached down to hook a finger under your shirt, his eyes silently asking for permission. You nodded furiously, and instantly, your shirt was off, with him looking utterly mesmerized by your bare chest. His hands ran up your sides, tracing patterns into your skin as if trying to etch his devotion into you so you would never forget. You were a work of art, and he was the sculptor working tirelessly to carve the patterns of his love on your skin with everything he had. 

"God... I don't know what I did to deserve someone as beautiful as you, but I owe them one hell of a thank you." 

You blushed as you trailed your hands down his stomach, reaching the hem of his joggers. You tugged at them, needing them off. In your mind, none of this was even happening. It was all an illusion; maybe you had inhaled too much disinfectant fumes. But as he gave you a soft laugh and took your hand, everything solidified for you. Everything you had dreamt of, from the night you first met him on your porch, with that dumb smile of his and pathetic eyes, was real. 

He interlaced your fingers with his. "Hey, hey, none of that. You're always the one taking care of me, looking after my injuries. Tonight, I want to be the one who tends to your every need."

He hushed your whines of protest by peppering your chest with kisses, eventually reaching your nipple and tugging on it slightly with his teeth. Your lips released a soft moan as he flicked his tongue around it before sucking. Hands fist at his hair, trying to pull him closer, to get more of him, but he was irritatingly slow. As expected, he always played the flirt even when you could tell he wanted you as badly as you did him. He lays you down on the bed and lets out a hum as he begins to worship every part of you: your arms, chest, stomach, and finally... 

You hissed softly as his teeth grazed the lower part of your pelvis, biting the band to your underwear. Vash grinned up at you with that infuriating but endearing smile, well aware of how tired you were of his teasing. Huffing irritably, you swatted his chest. "You know, one would think that if you were that hungry for me, you would've fucked me already." His face suddenly turned into a flustered look of surprise. He wasn't expecting you to be so openly vulgar, and oddly, that aroused him even more. Without wasting another second, he pulled your pants and underwear off. A jolt of electricity flashed through your body as you felt his breath on heat of your sex, with him humming contentedly and spreading your legs. He was a little too enthusiastic, making you wonder if he had ever dreamt about you before this happened. 

He dragged a finger along the length of your heat, reveling in the soft hiss you let out. He would've prolonged it to tease you more if he really wanted to, but after restraining himself for so long, he was extremely impatient, and honestly, so were you. Without another moment, he dipped his head to taste you and what a fantastic flavor you were. He was careful to make sure every part of you was shown his complete adoration, that no spot was left untouched. Immediately, you were at his mercy, whining and whimpering as he devoured you like a man starved for weeks. He was so gentle, even in the heat of the moment; with every kiss and lick he placed upon your sex, Vash lovingly caressed your thighs, squeezing them softly to ensure you were comfortable with everything happening. It made your heart melt; despite all the betrayals and pain he's been through, he was doing his best to make up for lost time. And that kind of behavior deserved to be rewarded. 

You mustered the strength to sit up and take his face in your hand, making him gaze up at you. He looked, for lack of better words, completely fucked out. His lips were dripping with a mixture of your fluids and his saliva, and his eyes gleamed with a ravenous look that seemed utterly intent on making you his. Stifling another moan, you caress his cheek with your thumb. "I know you said you didn't want me to, but... please. I want to make you happy. That's the only thing I've ever desired," Your other hand trailed down his arm, tracing the curves of his bicep. "Will you let me do that for you?"

There were a few beats of silence as you watched his face contort to one of disappointment and hesitance. He never liked to have himself pleasured in any form. Even in the beginning, when he had first appeared at your doorstep, he looked utterly terrified. His eyes were full of fear, like he was ready to run away at any second. That carried over into the first few weeks of him letting you take care of his wounds. You had to harass him to let you bandage him, and it seemed like he would've been completely okay with just bleeding out instead of bothering you. Of course, as months passed, the two of you grew closer, but maybe he never made a move on you because he was afraid. Afraid of rejection and that the peaceful bubble he had created for himself with you would pop instantly the moment he reciprocated your adoration. You were determined to show him otherwise.

Finally, he slowly nodded, and you breathed a sigh of relief. But before you can stand up, he grips your thigh harder. "I need to tell you something, though. It's about..." He groaned and rolled his eyes in embarrassment, looking away from you. "My body isn't normal. I guess that's expected of someone who isn't human, right? But it's pretty... out there."

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, not really understanding what he meant. His scars weren't a secret. You had seen all of them before, including the ones on his legs. What else could there be that he would be so self-conscious about? Unless it was... wait.

"Vash, do you mean your..." You quickly glanced down to his crotch and back up at him, where a bright red blush was dusting his cheeks. "...It's different?" He nodded quickly as his grip on your leg became painfully tight as if he was scared you would move away from him. You weren't sure what you were expected, but you couldn't say you were surprised. As a PLANT, something was bound to be different with him. You just didn't expect it to be that. Still, it was intriguing. 

Curiosity won as you gripped his chin to return his gaze to yours, pressing your forehead against his. His posture softened as you whispered. "Let me see?"

He frowned, hesitant, but let you stand up and lay him down in your place. Your fingers trailed down his stomach as you felt him squirm, clearly anxious. Leaning down, your lips followed the same path as your hand, kissing every spot it touched. You got to his black joggers and immediately sensed something... different. A hand reached out and softly grabbed his bulge, and his hips jerked against you. He definitely wasn't concerned about size, that's for sure. It was almost too big, but amidst your stupor, you felt another buck. But this time, it wasn't from his hips. Startled but trying to keep your composure to not freak Vash out, you looked up. You waited until he gave you a nod of consent, and then you slowly pulled his pants down, wringing out a strained gasp from his lungs. 

Different wouldn't be enough of a descriptor for what he had. Beautiful? Exquisite would be more accurate. In the middle were petal-like folds resembling an orchid, marked with bluish-grey glyphs that glowed softly in the dimly lit room. As you traced a finger around the edges, they curved in and out, seemingly responding to your gentle touch. Vash twitched, inhaling sharply as you got to the shaft. Sprouting from the folds was what looked like an elongated rosebud, curving up towards his stomach and tapering at the tip. More patterns decorated the appendage, and ridges along the sides bent in on themselves like hooks to grip onto surfaces. It didn't take a genius to figure out what that was meant for. 

[weebsinstash]

Ugh okay I’m not sure if this will really fit with ur ideas but whenever anyone brings up group yanderes I’m always drawn to a specific scenario: Reader, by some miracle, gets a significant other outside of the group that, again, by a miracle, they don’t know about (I’m thinking, in this scenario, Reader travels through universes often to hang out with different spiders, and in a universe they visit frequently, they sneak off and see someone whenever the local spider is doing their spider stuff). Said s/o breaks up with Reader and they’re obviously upset. The group starts freaking tf out because their darling’s upset and not telling anyone what’s wrong, while Reader’s going through a whole internal conflict because they know they’ll be in trouble if they tell the truth, but also they know their ex will be in MAD trouble, so they’re desperately trying to hide the whole situation, which only makes things worse as the group descended into chaos, knowing that their darling is hiding *something* and not telling anyone. The whole spiderverse is working together to manipulate you/figure out what’s going on. People like Jess, Pav, and Gwen try to approach you as sympathetic friends who you can vent your issues to, while characters like Miguel and Hobie are much more upfront in telling you to tell them what’s going on, not even asking. When the truth does inevitably get revealed, it’s hell on earth for both you and your ex. (Bonus; imagine if said ex actually hurt you in some way other than breaking up, like admitting to cheating or was generally cruel to you either during the relationship or just in the breakup. The fury of your captors would be biblical)

God and from their perspective some/most of it is justified because you're walking around SIGNIFICANTLY more depressed than before, you're starting to become more anxious and jumpy, and with some people you're outright lashing out in anger if they press you on the subject, so like, even if some of the Spiders are trying to invade your privacy or even manipulate you, from their side, there's no telling how serious this problem actually is, or if it's nothing to be concerned about (in the grand scheme of things, you having a fight with your partner isn't some world shattering event, but to THEM it's 'wait Reader's been dating? who???' And like virtually no matter who it is, if they're a Normie they aren't good enough by the Society/your group's standards. Although technically if dating could potentially interfere with any of your future canon events, well, then you have a particular spicy papi very upset with you...)

So like, I haven't seen all clips of Miguel's scenes and speaking lines yet but I've been spoiling myself to a little more (I aim to see spiderverse on the big screen this weekend so I was kinda leaving some to surprise, fucking hid all my wax and edibles, im gonna dry out for a few days and hit some dabs and see this shit in IMAX and itll rewire my fucking brain shits gonna be so good) but oh my god this man gets so fucking scary. He's just on his brooding platform already stressed as fuck which is a constant state he lives in at this point and here's Jess and Peter B as concerned parents to fill him in on their concerns, what they've seen from you: sudden increased self isolating, crying more, becoming more withdrawn and quiet, refusing to talk to them about it, trying to spend all your time alone. Miguel just, trying to tether the last pieces of his mental sanity together as he decides to go visit you personally, and he can immediately tell you're hiding something from all the darting glances to the fact you don't want to look him in the eyes.

Like can you imagine, I guess it depends on how you see Reader "going about", like do they have their own home universe or whatever, but, Miguel hasn't confronted you himself yet and he decides, fine, you want to keep secrets, good fucking luck, and all of his dimensional watches he's given out are probably connected to the same servers and systems so he just, looks up your travel log and quickly identifies that you've been visiting the same universe repeatedly, but none of your friends seem to know why you would be going there. Say you've been hanging around in Gwen's universe and Miguel assumes, oh maybe you're spending time with Gwen, maybe that emo little drummer said something to upset you, but Gwen looks confused (and a little upset) when it turns out you've been apparently popping in her universe without even saying hi? And Miguel is gritting his teeth because he's starting to form a theory on what's going on and he doesn't like it one fucking bit

He teams up with Jess and Peter B and Gwen and some of your other pals and he starts triangulating your bracelet and. Wow what the fuck you're in Gwen's dimension RIGHT NOW. So then they all race towards your location to watch from a distance, some real loony tunes, "all 6 or 7 of us are hiding behind the same tree" bullshit, and, there you are from a distance, out of costume as you're clearly very upset, talking to someone that, most of the Spiders recognize instantly minus characters like Pav and Jess and Miguel and there's this resounding GROAN OF DISGUST "oh god, NOT FLASH THOMPSON" (for Spiderman lore newbies this is literally the character that bullies the fuck out of Peter Parker in high school like literal actual shoving him into lockers shit)

Peni uses her mech to send out a listening device and everyone is comically gathered around as they eavesdrop and start getting progressively more furious as they start piecing things together: you HAD been there to visit Gwen initially, but somehow you met Flash out of costume and the jockey SOMEHOW managed to woo you, but the relationship quickly became manipulative and controlling until you eventually caught Flash with another person. They're all GRITTING THEIR TEETH as you're in tears, asking him what you did wrong, where did you mess up, and Flash basically tells you to your face, "you're nothing special, I got bored of you"

Your little groupie gang of platonic and romantic yandere WITH STEAM BLOWING OUT OF THEIR EARS as you whimper "but... you-you said you loved me! We SLEPT together!" And he just. Fucking laughs in your face, SHOVES YOU, and calls you a slut before walking away with someone else on his arm

Gwen absolutely seething as she reflects on how Flash treated her Peter and Pavitr is swearing curses onto his entire family line meanwhile Hobie just like "oy would it break canon if I smash my guitar over that pisser's head". Peter 'I just wanna talk to him' B Parker as he hands Mayday off to Jess while cracking his knuckles. Miguel is, well, upset about like 10 different things because God fucking damn it, how long have you been hanging around with non-Spiders in other universes? (Do you think the Spider Society would be like, more than just a little possessive and insular, since youre supposed to be part of the Ha Ha We're All Spiderman club and they catch you hanging with normies over them) Is there anyone else? What have you been doing? He's just instantly a mixture of furious and hurt because damn it don't you know you're like his favorite, why the fuck are you running around potentially flirting with canon, don't you know how dangerous this is

But also deadass he wants to tear that man apart with his claws and he's considering checking the canon events of this universe to see if he can make it so

The Gang just watching as you pick yourself up but can't stop crying, and you drag your feet as you head to sit in a park or something, seeming like your entire form and surroundings are nothing but a depressed, deep blue. You're in a park or something so they can't exactly approach you normally because there are people around, but you just sit there crying for ages before you eventually pick yourself up and draaaaaag your feet, seeming to walk around aimlessly until, eventually, you go to a dark alley or under a bridge somewhere and they all pop out at you just as you're about to warp home anyways and you're just immediately bombarded by all these people

"Hey, you know what he said isn't true, right? Dude's a punk bitch!"

"Scuse me? I take that personally. He IS a total fuckin wanker though"

"Hon, you can't let what some ego-tripping blonde who peaked in high school said make you feel like this! He ain't worth it!"

And you're just standing there looking at them as your heart breaks a little more because you HAD been wanting some kind of support in all of this but you're muttering out with disbelief, "you guys followed me...?" And you're really hurt by that, but, here comes Miguel, stalking forward, putting a hand on your shoulder that's one part sympathetic comfort, one part possessive anger as he glowers at you with chestnut eyes that almost look RED, "anything else you wanna share?"

Miguel marching back to the weekly We Love Reader meeting and slapping a graphic up onto the wall with your face like a PSA "THIS Spider FUCKS and only YOU can stop it" fhfjfjg no not really but like non yandere Spiders are doing their own thing when, from a secret meeting room somewhere in Nueva York, the ground practically shakes with dozens upon dozens if not hundreds of voices crying out in agony "NOT FLASH THOMPSON 😩"

Bonus points if like, one of the things The Gang had witnessed was you crying and all that right, but, what if Reader had specifically said to Flash, "but I gave you my VIRGINITY" like. Mayhem. Pandemonium. All the Spiders have a sudden "aha!" because wow no wonder you suddenly started talking about how you're worthless and don't matter, this DICK HEAD lured you into a false sense of security and trust and then took your virginity and bounced while calling you a fucking loser and judging by that shove, has maybe even put his hands on you before? Like fuckinnnngggg The Society and your entire friend group freaking the fuck out one day because you have a black eye one day you were trying to hide with sunglasses and you say it was from a Villain but they're all like Nah Fam That's Sus because how would a villain pop one off on your face when you have super strength and Spidey Sense and they get you/intimidate you to open up and it's like, oh, that was because your "boyfriend" didnt like how you thought you smelled someone else's perfums/cologne on him and he lost his temper when you pressed him for answers, and even when you tell them the truth you're still crying with a small laugh, "it was my fault, I should've backed off and realized I was upsetting him"

Reader just gets surrounded by all their friends and "the cute Spiders" like the cat Spiderman and oh my fucking god there's a plushie Spiderman and just, gosh, they try to basically smother you with love to cheer you up and bring your confidence back but your heart has been wounded and needs time to heal 🥺 regardless, later on Detective Stacey is having to investigate and finds Mr Thompson in an alleyway with a busted knee that permanantly ends any sort of athletic career and the words "CHEATER" cut across his body in multiple places while he's covered in scratches, bruises, bites, and he keeps mumbling the weirdest most incoherent shit under his breath that gets him hospitalized

"The- the pig... it TALKED... it pulled out a HAMMER... from its POCKET... the pig... had ... POCKETS..."

[attila-werther]

LUIS CALLING LEON PRINCE CHARMING??? HELLO????

[merakiui]

Mera! I'm losing track of the days lol, but so long as i send an ask a week, i think i should be okay 😂

Also feel free to post your hsr hair thoughts bc i love to read your rambles as much as your fics! I'm looking forward to the jade one and him imitating floyd is really amusing. I like to think jade has a sort of pride about him where he loathes being compared to floyd but also jokes it off when someone does or when someone mistakes them, so i can imagine his pride and ego taking a hit but he endures it for sake of reader. Almost like he gets addicted to acting like floyd bc everyone likes floyd better anyways, right? So why not give the people what they want! He receives such a positive response when he acts like floyd that it rewires the hurt in his brain and suddenly the thing he hates is now cathartic for him but theres still that underlying hurt underneath >.<

BUT thats not why im here hehehe, for this weeks questionnnnn......

Who do you think would be the 'final girl' in a slasher film from each dorm? And then if u can, who do you think would be the ultimate survivor? You can optionally bestow the other titles; the virgin who lives but is hurt, the killer in hiding and the idiots who are the first to go, etc :D i read a yandere slasher fic here on tumblr where reader goes into a cabin with her friends and they get killed off one by one until the yandere presumably fucks reader and it has me back in my horror phase 😅 just pretend its Halloween in june, like xmas in july hahaha

-🐔 anon!!!!

:D hi hi 🐔!!!! Thank you for enjoying my writings and ramblings and for your interest in the upcoming Jade fic!! He'd do anything for you, even if it means he has to endure bittersweet pain just to see you smile. >_< all he wants is a chance with you and he gets that when he acts as Floyd. It may be uncomfortable and it may chip away pieces of his pride as an individual, but you laugh at his jokes and look at him like he's the only one in your world. He'll do whatever he can just to receive a crumb of your affection, even if it's all meant to be reserved for Floyd. Aaaa I love writing this version of Jade!!!! He's just so interesting and obsessed!! orz

Ooooo final girls from each dorm!!! That's such a fun question. Here are my thoughts!!! ^w^

Heartslabyul's final girl would be Cater. He's so perfect for the final girl trope! You think he might die first because he's pretty and can't let go of his phone for the life of him, but when he gets serious he can be very cutthroat. <3 the idiotic duo would have to be Ace and Deuce. Deuce hears a strange noise and wants to check it out because he's definitely not scared of demons or killers and he'll beat up anything that tries to hurt him and his friends. Ace thinks he's trying to prank him, but he begrudgingly follows him, thinking it's either nothing and Deuce is trying to scare him or it'll just turn out to be something with a completely natural explanation. It's neither, and while they're both bickering the killer looms from behind. Riddle is the logical one who tries to put everything into perspective and figure out a logical reason behind everything. Trey is, unsurprisingly, the mom friend who just wants everyone to stay in one place because hopefully the authorities will show up soon (they never will).

Savanaclaw's final girl is Ruggie. He's resourceful and cunning; you think he may die first, but he's actually very good at survival. He'll live, but he comes out of the horrific night covered in blood after he's just fought the killer to the death. Jack is your typical jock, kind-hearted and caring, who doesn't believe in any of that ghost stuff or horror movie trope stuff, but when it becomes too real he gets even more serious than before, determined to survive and protect those close to him. Leona strikes me as the type who, upon the first sign of something suspicious or dangerous, promptly leaves. He will not be swept up in any murder plots, no thank you. <3 either that or he sleeps through it all and the killer thinks he's dead at first glance LOL.

Octavinelle's final girl would be Floyd. As goofy as he is, he's also another cutthroat guy who can and will survive. He may throw himself directly at danger, but somehow he always comes out of it alive. Jade is your typical killer-in-hiding. You won't suspect him until it's too late, and by then nearly half the cast is dead. Azul is the type who acts like an ally to everyone, but he's secretly either plotting with the killer or planning to sacrifice everyone in order to save himself.

Scarabia's final girl is Jamil. Most of his decisions are made solely to protect Kalim (who naturally is the comedic relief/carefree friend who is just too sweet for this world), but there's a build-up in this movie where the plot twist is that Jamil ultimately ends up tricking Kalim. Is it possible for both him and Jamil to survive? Perhaps, but this isn't that kind of movie. :) and from the bloodshed, Jamil emerges, alive, exhausted, and traumatized. (Or I could also see Jamil as a killer-in-hiding and Kalim as the final girl; it fits either way in my mind hehe!! :D)

Pomefiore's final girl is either Epel or Vil. It's hard to choose just one of them for the trope because I feel like it can fit them both in different ways. Rook is obviously the killer-in-hiding or he's just that really unnerving character who happens to know too much about how a killer thinks. >_< Vil as a final girl would be so cool because I think he can also be quite cutthroat. He's the character type who spends most of his focus on himself throughout the movie, yet he still manages to survive. How, you may ask? He weaponized various beauty products or, my most favorite idea, he fought the killer in heels and won, by which the heels absolutely became his weapon. >:) Epel as a final girl would be somewhat surprising because he's the character who no one really expects to live because he's "so petite and cute and omg how will he ever survive the big, scary killer!!!!" D: but then Epel shocks everyone when he ends up arming himself with brass knuckles or a baseball bat to go hunt down the killer himself.

Ignihyde's final girl is Idia, but then he also fits into the loser nerd category. Idia as a final girl is a little frustrating because he spends the entire movie being prideful and rude to the other characters, so everyone sort of wants him to be killed off first because he's so unlikable. But because Idia's seen all of these tropes before and knows his way around a horror movie, he ends up surviving. Ortho survives as well, but then I can also picture him being something of a sci-fi horror villain (i.e. technology becomes bad and targets humans). It's something like in book six where he was giving the students little tests in order to advance to the next level. Just a little villainous and devious!

Diasomnia's final girl is Silver. The stress of the situation manages to keep him awake, and so he's mainly in survival mode for the entirety of the film. Silver does his best to protect everyone, even putting himself at risk if it means he can save his friends. Sebek likely puts up a good fight, but he's far too stubborn and can't be quiet to save his life, so he ends up getting killed. I feel like Lilia could be a killer-in-hiding, or he's just the mischievous trickster type. Malleus could also be a killer-in-hiding, or he's the trope of "misunderstood character with a reputation that is solely rumors who turns out to be quite sweet and helpful to the main character."

[roseworth]

just finished batgirl 2000. i think something has fundamentally changed in me. im. yeah

needed to update you bc your posts are what made me interested in cass in the first place

first of all i am extremely honored that i got you interested in cass <3 she is everything she is the greatest character of all time and im SO glad you read bg00 !!!!!

in my humble opinion. that book is the greatest thing dc has ever and will ever release. it rewired my brain and i havent been the same since. most runs with more than 50 issues have some serious low points but batgirl slays in every single issue. it makes me sick to my stomach that cass was character murdered immediately after this and hasnt been the same since. they hate to see the best dc character thriving...

anyways public service announcement: if you havent read batgirl 2000 this is your sign to read it RIGHT NOW. its incredible you will not regret it

[milfzatannaz]

I think I have to watch iwtv now I can’t not

no bc it literally rewired my brain im so serious

[hermitcraft-8]

ghostbur is still major comfort character of mine :((

i will never not be haunted by jack manifold. like im so serious he rewired my brain i can't look at characters the same way anymore