#rewatching the show because I hate myself
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If Rhaenys was all the feminist she claims she is, she would have supported her granddaughtersâ right to driftmark but she didnât. So whoâs serving men now.
#ok fine Iâll read fire and blood#but I am genuinely curious.#why did rhaenys support lucerysâ claim over rhaena or baelaâs?#(I donât know who the older one is forgive me)#fire and blood#HotD#rewatching the show because I hate myself#alicent hightower#rhaenys targaryen#do not reblog#please
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wait a minute
stop.
stop it.
#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#mha spoilers#mha 423#I didn't hate this chapter before that#but now I am#because this is just cruel level of REMEMBER THIS?????#yes. I do remember this. I rewatched and reread this arc VERY recently#so... he killed Kurogiri with a punch like the one he did in USJ and again to save Izuku#I don't care honestly.#I reread this chapter and I cried again bc I REALLY refused to believe that Kurogiri died then#but he did with a death words to Shirakumo's friends and recall of old chapters#even if people want Tenko alive I doubt that Kurogiri will ever materialize again#and I'm deadly serious when I say that this is the worst part of this chapter#I worried for Kurogiri's existence ever since it was revealed that Shirakumo is in there#but that literally took FIVE YEARS TO APPEAR AGAIN HAVING AN IMPORTANT ROLE#and he left while crumbling just like Tomura's body before Katsuki hit him#and the last thing he thought about was about protecting Tomura even though he was partly Shirakumo's dead corpse appearing more and more#even Mic now understood that it's really is him in a way ending his arc from back in Tartarus with Aizawa#and you know what's worse??? TOMURA KNOWS THIS#the way he used â...........â with Kurogiri's name while the page literally showed his black smoke disappearing was heartbreaking before#it's worse now#like... okay he's dying too and he doesn't even know if spinner is ALIVE or not and he saw Kurogiri disappear#all while protecting him from harm one last time#AND WE STILL HAVE NO FUCKING FLASHBACKS OF HIS TIME WITH TOMURA OUTSIDE OF WHAT WE HAD IN MANGA#I'm getting more and more furious by the minute HAHA#I need to find that one sketch I did way back in 2019 with them after spoilers of Kurogiri in Tartarus#I NEED SOMETHING LIKE THAT NOW AND I CAN'T DRAW#I want to just curl up and cry myself to sleep like a 13 y.o that found out the bird that she looked after died while she was sleeping#kurogiri
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I would say youâre more of a Mr peanut butter type yeah
doggy doggy what now?
#sci speaks#i love mr peanutbutter.#i think i love especially that eventually people stopped liking him.#cute quirky doggy winds up being a JERK actually just like the rest of us.#i love him and i love that.#really need to rewatch bojack actually because i don't remember it very well but god do i remember Loving it.#i think it's probably the best adult animated series i've ever seen. just. like. i don't know. it's the kind of writing that i really love.#where all the characters are bad actually. and you think they might be outwardly put together but they're not.#bojack is a GREAT SHOW. depressing but great.#i can't even like recommend it to anybody i'm like. yeah. it'll depress you. sorry. but that's why i like it.#i like those kind of ugly sincere emotions that make me feel less alone for being an asshole sometimes.#not in a âhaha this character i like is an asshole so i can be an asshole tooâ kind of a way but in a .#i shouldn't despise myself because this is just part of what it is to be human i guess. you'll mess up and make selfish choices.#we all have that same software and i don't know. makes me feel less alone. i love to see that nobody else has it put together either.#it's not just me floating in the world with no direction.#it do be why i hate people who point at a character and say âBAD ROLEMODEL!! why aren't they PERFECT??â#get out shut up i hate you.#try living LIFE for five days maybe.
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Alright so I just finished Earthspark and boy fucking howdy do I have opinions, but Iâm not talking about those right now because Iâm tired and the ending broke me in such a way I no longer care about anything.
What I would like to say though is I think Tanatulas should have been replaced with Shockwave in that on episode he had with Nightshade. Donât get me wrong, I loved Tanatulas. He was literally so good, I loved his designs and his vibes and the only bad thing about him is that he never said his pronouns back. But really think about it. He didnât have to be there. Earthspark spends too much time with the Maltos to really develop anyone so the more characters you add the more everything struggles.
Tanatulas showed up for one episode, heâs not even in the finale. Shockwave was there though and vaguely important, but it doesnât make sense for him to just suddenly be okay with the Maltos. Unless he took Tanatulas role. Then his sudden willingness to help them would have made so much more sense. It also wouldnât have been a very hard change, just as a whole, because neither Tanatulas or Shockwave are that important.
Just give Nightshade a line about how they should save Shockwave because they trust him and well everyone else acts the same.
Shockwave even fills a similar general role as Tanatulas being a weird scientist who care more about their science than the war. So it really wouldnât be a hard switch and would make Shockwave make more sense. If you want to go further too Shockwave doesnât even have a normal vehicle mode so he really could have given similar lines about alt modes to Nightshade.
Obviously Shockwave actual introduction episode would be different or maybe heâd just get replaced entirely but I really donât think any of those changes would be too hard. Because again, heâs just not important enough for any changes to his character to be hard.
Tanatulas in Earthspark doesnât validate his existence much as is. I really do love him, but heâs replaceable and just clutters an already poorly handled cast. While I think it would be cool if he was just more important they clearly didnât want that by not even giving him a finale shot. So I do think just swapping his episode with Shockwave (and whatever other alterations are needed to make that perfect) fixes the problem with having too many underdeveloped characters since it removes one character and in the process developes another.
#id rewatch the show to see how well this fixes it but I donât hate myself that much#genuinely canât remember shockwaves intro very well so I dunno make Iâm wrong but this feels right#i loved Tranchulas very much but no one gets screen time so I think instead of letting a one shot character take up more room#you just edit it so someone important to later episodes actually shows up more#my biggest beef with ES is just how little they care about anyone outside of the Maltos#all I wanted was a funky show about big guys with not usual teams and kinda gay moments#all I got was a very forced found family and acting like these background characters matter more than they do#fucking hate everything about the kids ngl. canât stand child soldier characters. hate it when humans are important to TF shows#and I hate it when they get magic. literally prime connection. stfu. i donât want to hate kids because theyâre kids but I do not like them.#earthspark spoilers#tf earthspark#earthspark shockwave#earthspark tarantulas#hate to slander one of my favorite episodes like this but I do think it would help the ending at the very least#i donât even like how this shockwave looks. heâs too slim for sw. but like he makes more sense story wise#transformers#transformers earthspark#ugh hate to add in more ranting in between actual tags but I keep thinking if more stuff#worst things about the kids in ES is like all tv show children they always follow people into stuff even when told not to and cause issues#like bumblebee telling them to stay back. heâs got this. heâs literally a scout let the man scout#but no! they gotta follow him and are the reason he gets caught!#that plot line and character type is so common and everytime it annoys me greatly#canât you just listen to the guy who can handle themselves and know what theyâre doing? canât you just stay back untrained guy? please?#for my mental health#original post
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Iâm finally gonna do it tomorrow. Iâm finally gonna watch âThe Long Goodbye Jobâ and finish my Leverage rewatch so I can finally watch Redemption
#the last time I rewatched leverage I refused to watch the last episode#I GET SAD OKAY#and now Iâm scared because because of that I havenât watched the finale in a really long time#whoops#but I canât wait to finally see redemption#so I gotta make myself finish it#đĽ˛#I just love em I hate when I show ends#leverage
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friendly reminder to bbc fans that hate cbs ghosts to kindly: get out of our tag. we don't want to hear it. we don't want to discuss it. we are not here to listen to you explain to us why we are wrong and what we enjoy is bad (not that quality matters if you enjoy it but that's besides the point). I'm not trying to be extremely rude right now but just like. come on. it's etiquette. if you wanna hate our show do it on your own time
#every time I see someone's 'hot take' about how cbs is 'trash' I like bbc less actually <3#see I say that as a joke but like xd#like I love them they're my babeys#but I have not rewatched a single episode#I haven't even watched the most recent christmas episode because I finished the show before that#mostly because every time I watch it I feel bad about myself for liking cbs#and I think of all the people who hate it#well more like every time I consider it#it'll probably lessen some time#and I do enjoy the show and the characters are my children#but I watch tv for fun and I don't feel like defending myself internally every time I watch it#so I just end up not wanting to#not necessarily wanting not to but still#idk#just#://#ghosts#ghosts cbs#cbs ghosts#oasis's ghosts chatter
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iâm so sorry for arrowposting but like every month i go through a period of mourning because i think about the fact that oliver/diggle should have been a popular ship from the very start of season one but the fandom continually slept on it because god forbid we have a popular ship with a Black man
#i am putting myself through a rewatch because ??? but anyway it means I have receipts#there's parallels damn it. if the fandom had jumped on this we might have gotten queerbaited by arrow too#arrow#also i know in later seasons they just call him john and do away with calling him by his last name but i'm less familiar with those so shhh#anyway this is number one on my list of things to point to when other fans act like shipping two white men means fandom is sooo progressive#the way you all treated every Black man on that show? shameful. don't even get me started on the hate for curtis#there's a reason i never engaged with the arrowverse online
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#about me#god I fucking hate bad brain days like this#where I literally don't know what to do with myself#because I have time to do whatever I want and no actual responsibilities#but literally nothing sparks any joy#I've tried reading#and I've tried like 5 different shows#but I can't get myself interested in anything new#but then I try to rewatch something and my brain is all 'okay but we already know what happens SO WHAT'S THE POINT' even tho I usually like#rewatching/rereading stuff#and it's just#uuuuuuuuuuugh#feels like I am wasting time even more than usual and it sucks because I am already always anxious about wasting time
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in case anyone was wondering itâs nearly five am and iâve spent all night reading fucking icarly fanfic as if itâs not 2023 so like thatâs where IM at today
#d speaks#did i know how much i cared about these characters before i impulsively decided to rewatch a show i havenât seen since age 14??? NO I DIDNT#i havenât watched icarly since the fucking eighth grade at BEST and that was fully 13 years ago#i figured iâd put it on for some background noise and nostalgia when it came up on netflix#HERE I AM A DAY LATER HAVING FUCKING FEELINGS ???????? ABOUT IT ?????????#getting sad about a finale i NEVER EVEN WATCHEDâŚâŚâŚ#debating if i should go and fucking. watch the FIVE MORE SEASONS OF THIS SHOW#plus that ENTIRE OTHET SHOW W ARIANA GRANDE I NEVER ONCE SAW BECAUSE I WAS TOO OLD FOR NICKELODEON WHEN SAM AND CAT CAME OUT#and then to find out icarly has been rebooted?!?!??? and IS CURREBFKY PUTTING OUT EPISODES OF THEUR REVIVAL???????#what am i meant to do here. watch icarly AND victorious AND sam and cat AND ICARLY 2021!?!?!???!??!??#for WHAT daina?????? a fandom with 700 fics on ao3??????????????#WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF ?????????????????????????????#iâm so out of my mind right now what the fuck has today BEEN#icarly#guess i shoudl fuckin tag that in case this is my new hyperfixation!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!!!#this is awful i hate myself so much. why do i CARE if these characters get together theyâre 13 and i was 10 years old last time i cared!!!!#i donât even know who is endgame because i âoutgrewâ these shows when fucking glee and jersey shore dropped!!!!!!#i didnât watch the later seasons of icarly or most of victorious because i was too busy watching fucking teen wolf and drooling over 1d!!!!#watching fucking. game of thrones and shit!!!!!! i was Too Old For That Shit and now here i am. one month from being 27#getting all emotionally invested in this DUMB SHOW FROM MY CHILDHOOD#like whatâs next daina?????? gonna watch hannah montana and go looking for some jake ryan miley stewart fanfics?????????????#watch some fucking wizards of waverly place and get really worked up about how selena and demi had a friendship breakup???????????#text my friends who were into this show with me when it was airing and see if they wanna listen to me analyze this shit??????#whilst their CHILDREN NAP IN YHE OTHER ROOM AND THEN WHEN IM DONE RANTING I CAN GIVE THEM ADVICE ON THEIR MARITAL PROBLEMS???!??!??!?!?!?!?#this is insane iâve lost my fucking mind. iâm not fucking doing this mark my words i am NOT doing this#this is a one off i will consume the best fics of this fandom and then i will put it down and step away and be DONE i CANNOT do more#mr incredible voice iâm notâŚâŚ strong enoughâŚâŚ.#fuck i should watch the incredibles maybe THAT will fix me
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The slides for class today look deceptively simple. Should I be concerned
#i realised that probably the reason i'm not doing great with class right now is i'm not really doing anything to prepare#other people in the class already have knowledge either because they've done this before or they know more javascript than me#(which is not hard since i don't know javascript)#but because i go in knowing nothing i just sort of fumble my way through and end up sitting there 2+ hours after the start of class#completely bamboozled and with my brain fried and no finished tasks to show for it#i get the work done eventually but i have to google thee most basic questions or rewatch segments of class (it is recorded thank god)#to understand it. which like.. don't get me wrong; i feel like if i was capable of paying attention better i'd probably understand it all#the first time around. my instructors are great. but i am not capable of paying attention#as soon as i don't understand something i just get confused and zone out instead of processing the information that would help me understan#it is soooo bad i hate it. so i was like okay. why don't i go through the slides first#read a couple of articles on this stuff and talk myself through the tasks. not DO them yet because i get plenty of time to do them tonight#we get like 15-20 minutes per task. sometimes half an hour if it's a big one#but making sure i understand how to do them will ensure i don't spend those 15-30 minutes having a breakdown#but with this one i was like... it looks okay???#i think my biggest problem irt coding is i can never remember the fucking syntax. like i'm well aware of HOW to do stuff#i know how to link a stylesheet or a script file to a html file i can just never remember the exact syntax#i always have to google it or look at a previous project i made (on which i googled it)#<link ref='stylesheet' href='styles.css'></link> and <script src='script.js'></script> right?? please tell me that's right#so it's like. do i know what a loop is? yes. do i know what an array is? yes. do i know what an object is? i think so#do i know how to make any of these? NO because i don't know the syntax!!!#it's upsetting lol. i really wonder if these motherfuckers can code from their brains or if they're googling it as well sometimes#personal
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i don't know why i like you (but i do)
minatozaki sana x f!reader
8.7k words
synopsis: maybe thereâs a reason they tell you not to mix business with pleasure. but with a coworker like minatozaki sana, you canât find it in yourself to care.
tags/warnings: set very loosely in tdoong ent universe/office setting, smut (cunnilingus, fingering, begging, restraints), fluff, super super mild angst like its so brief it barely counts as angst, miscommunication, not actually unrequited feelings, lowkey switch!sana, coworkers with benefits to friends with benefits to lovers
a/n: iâve been rewatching TTT quite a bit and tdoong ent office worker sana is too cute. i combined her character here with sha rich bc i'm a sucker for her ngl like okayyy shes serving high femme realnessâŚ.. anyway this is not my best & i lowkey hate it SAWRY but i just wanted write Anything to get myself back into the groove again :p i'm trying to find motivation to finish some other works too!! next up is gonna be either a short halloween thing for momo (if i finish it in time) orrr what ive been working on for tzuyu ^-^ title from i donât know why i like you but i do by the wombats.
you donât know your newest coworker, minatozaki sanaânot really. but there are a few things about her that youâve started to learn.
for one, she is one of the loudest people in the entire office. it doesnât bother youâafter all, your close circle of friends includes plenty of other loud people from the office, like nayeon and jihyo and momoâand it normally wouldnât even cross your radar. and yet, every time you hear sanaâs high pitched giggle from across the room, you canât help but lift your head from behind your computer.Â
another thing youâve learned is that she is, to put it plainly, a brat. the second she showed up at the office bragging about how her father owns the company, always reminding you that itâs her family name controlling your future, you knew this about her. sheâs spoiled, privileged, pretentious, condescending, lazy, richer than anyone should be allowed to beâ
nearly a month after sanaâs first day, youâd grumpily proclaimed to some of your coworkers that sana was the most irritating person youâd ever met in your life.
chaeyoung told you that you were being unreasonable and you should just talk to sana. tzuyu told you that you were being insufferable and you needed to get laid.
naturally, youâd decided to kill two birds with one stone.
two months after sana joined the companyâher fatherâs company, as she always reminds everyoneâyou found yourself in her massive apartment, her pink lips hot and wet against your throat as her hands fumbled with your top. âthis is pretty,â sheâd said when she greeted you at the door, fingers playing with the fabric.
not ten minutes later, that same top was thrown carelessly on her bedroom floor, followed immediately by sanaâs prada skirt.
which brings you to now, in sanaâs enormous bedroom, where there is a third thing youâve learned about minatozaki sana: sheâs the most attractive person youâve ever seen.
maybe you already knew that.
but you donât have time to think about anything beyond that before plush lips brush against your collarbone, and you let your mind go blank as her mouth moves down, down, downâ
maybe minatozaki sana has learned a few things about you, too.
the two of you make a habit of late-night meetings at her apartment.
itâs nice. the sex is incredibleâmind-blowing, actually, you must admitâand you learn a fourth thing about sana, which is that sheâs actually not nearly as annoying as you once believed. at the office, sanaâs rambling has become less migraine-inducing commotion and more mildly tolerable background noise. you almost listen for it now, actually, just to know sheâs aroundânot that youâd let any of your coworkers know.
because when your whole arrangement starts, you ask sana if she could keep things on the low, giving a sheepish explanation about not wanting your nosy coworkers to ask questions. you tell her you want this to be a no-strings-attached situation, just casual sex between two people who happen to be coworkers, and you donât want anyone else knowing about it. sana agrees easily, giggling about how quickly it had gotten around the office that one of the interns had a crush on your department manager mina, and, to your relief, you figure thatâs probably the end of that discussion.
you take it a little too seriously, maybe. truthfully, you sort of ignore her. at work, you both operate directly under dahyun, though you work with everyone on coordinated projectsââworkâ being a loose term; sana never does anything sheâs supposed to do, mostly spending her days just chatting with whoeverâs willing to engage in a conversation or be distracted for more than two minutes (typically momoâthough chaeyoung, nayeon, and jeongyeon are common targets too) or watching an absurd amount of youtube videos whenever sheâs meant to be doing something useful. regardless, you act like thereâs nothing between the two of you; you donât acknowledge her unless itâs absolutely necessary and only exchange words about work-related topics. everyone else constantly talks to her or invites her to hang out, but you attempt to keep your contact to a minimum. whenever you join the girls for a drink after work, if sana shows up, you find an excuse to leave as quickly as you can. if sanaâs already in the cafeteria, you find a place at another table on the other side of the room (even if youâd really wanted to sit where momo and chaeyoung are chatting animatedly across from sana). you try as hard as possible to ensure that thereâs minimal interaction between the two of you when youâre in public.
but sometimes, sana stares at you a bit too long when sheâs standing by the printer, or she greets you a little too comfortably when she bumbles towards her desk in the morning. you donât necessarily say anything to discourage her, but you think about itâespecially when momo smirks knowingly at you as you watch sana bend over to pick up a stack of papers sheâd clumsily droppedâwhen nayeon glances meaningfully at you for half a second as sana starts to whine and complain at lunch about being single and boredâwhen jihyo approaches you on your birthday and gifts you two tickets to a concert for an artist youâd shown to sana (while wrapped around each other under her sheets) but never mentioned to anyone else before.
whenever they ask, you say to your coworkers that you barely know sana. itâs sort of a lie, but sort of a truth, too.
âmaybe youâd know her more if you werenât always avoiding her,â jeongyeon says one night while youâre grabbing some drinks from the bar together. âi think youâre being dramatic. sana is perfectly sweet, really. i donât know why you run away every time she looks at you.â
you shake your head. âiâm not avoiding her. but i donât have to be friends with everyone in the office.â
âwell, i think she wants to be friends with you,â jeongyeon responds casually. âjust talk to her. i have a feeling you two would get along really well.â
âyou know, you should try minding your own business.â you ignore jeongyeonâs eye roll. âwhatever. if she wants to be friends with me, maybe she should be more obvious about it.â
if you think too long about being friends with sanaâor just about sanaâyour heart starts to beat a little faster in your chest.
you donât know minatozaki sana, not really. but you canât help but think youâd really like to.
about a month after your first night together, sana starts sending you random photos and videosâcute animals, most of the time, or just simple thingsâusually followed by a short message. this reminded me of you! hehe, she types. you typically respond with emojisâthe smiley with the halo usually, or a butterfly sometimesâalways non-committal and vague, just enough to let her know youâve seen her messages. sometimes you send a couple wordsâso cute!! you say. your texts arenât long or particularly engagingâstill, the frequency of her messages never decreases. thereâs a fifth thing you learn about sana: sheâs addicted to texting. you donât know if you prefer that or not.
itâs at this point that you stop putting in so much effort to avoid her. if she happens to sit next to you at lunch, you donât look at her, but you donât get up and leave anymore either. whenever she greets you in the morning, instead of responding with silence, you give her a small nod. you let her sit with you any time you meet the girls for drinks, staying the entire time without giving an excuse to go home.
when dahyun asks if youâre friends with sana now, you shrug. âi donât know. not really? still just coworkers.â
the words feel wrong, taste acrid in your mouth. but theyâre also half true, because youâre not friendsânot really.
after all, you barely know five things about her.
sometimes, when you have sex with sana, itâs a game. sana says or red light green light, maybe. tonight is one of those nightsâlie down, sana says, so you comply. no touching, sana says, so you nod. youâre lying on the bed, wrists and ankles restrained, gaze following sana as she struts towards you, a dangerous glint in her dark eyes. the cool air of the room has you shivering lightly, although it might just be from the hungry look sanaâs sending you, lips curled into a proud smirk as she watches you tug a little at your cuffs. sheâs spent the last hour teasing you, touching you everywhere except where you hopelessly crave, working you up until youâre dizzy with lust.
âplease, sana,â you whine softly. âi need you.â you watch as she crawls towards you on the bed, stops at your chest.
and hereâs one more thing youâve come to learn about sanaâsana likes it like this: when sheâs in complete and total control, with you begging for her permission for everything. she delights in the way your voice cracks and breaks, too consumed with desire to be embarrassed at your desperation soaking the bed sheets.
âneed me how?â she tilts her head teasingly, glancing at your glistening slit and grinning. âuse your words.â
âneed your fingers,â you whimper. âneed you inside me, please.â you yank at the cuffs around your wrists again, impatient. sana hums and leans down to capture your lips in a deep kiss, her tongue moving against your own.
âcute. ask properly,â sana murmurs against your lips, âand maybe iâll give you what you want.â her mouth moves down to your collarbone and you can feel yourself dripping onto the sheets as she sucks a hickey there.
shuddering, you manage to croak out, âwill you please fuck me with your fingers? please, i need you so bad, sana.â she lets out a satisfied chuckle and brushes her lips against yours again, nipping at your bottom lip. a second later, she runs two fingers along your entrance, gathering your wetness before pushing one finger inside. you moan in delight as she begins to pump in and out. âwill you add another, please sana?â
âmy good girl,â she purrs, âasking so politely.â she crooks another finger inside you and starts to fuck you deeper, faster. you moan louder, gasp and whine when she curls her fingers into your g-spot, struggle against your cuffs as pleasure spreads throughout your body. sana snickers smugly, lowers her head to your chest, wraps her lips around your sensitive nipple. her teeth graze lightly against the peak. âdoes it feel good, baby?â she uses her thumb to rub at your clitâsheâd teased too much, and now youâre positively overwhelmed with desire at every touch.
you try to answer, you doâyour mouth opens, but all that slips out are more moans. sana doesnât berate you this time, just giggles and continues to draw you closer and closer to the edge, fingers moving deep inside you, eventually moving to tease her tongue against your other nipple.
itâs not long before youâre tearfully confessing, âsana, fuck, iâm so close. please, iâm gonna cum.â she circles your clit more intensely then, and you gasp. âsana!â she nips playfully at your breast before letting go and looking down at you.
âwhat do you say, baby?â her dark eyes bore into your own and you whimper knowingly.
âcan i cum, please?â you beg, breath catching in your throat as you watch sana bite her lip, fingers still pumping inside you. you have only moments before you might just explode. tonight she has mercy on you, gives you what you want without a fight.
âcum for me.â
at her soft command, you cum instantly on her fingers, sana moaning at the feeling and fucking you through your orgasm. âoh, fuck, iâfuck, sana,â you cry out, twitching, pulling at your restraints, tears leaking from your eyes as you finally come down from your high and settle into the bed with an exhale. sana slips her fingers out, kisses you tenderly.
thereâs a brief moment where both of you just lie there, breathing heavily. you close your eyes, feel her press a kiss against your jaw, hum at the gesture. then sheâs moving once more, spreading your legs, kissing along your thighs, biting playfully at the soft flesh there before you feel her warm tongue licking into your slit, lips wrapping around your clit andâ
sana uses her tongue to lick up all your cum, looks up at you with lust-filled eyes. she sucks at your bud, fucks into you with her tongue. âsana,â you moan wantonly. youâre still not really recovered from your first orgasm, but that doesnât deter sana, and you donât tell her to stop. she suddenly fills you with two fingers again and you whimper as she picks up the speed, mouth moving to your clit once more. the suction is incredible. âoh fuck, yes, sana, just like that.â you grind down against her mouth subconsciously.
she angles her fingers like she had before, presses into your g-spot, flicks her tongue against your clit. âyou taste good,â she mumbles before taking your clit into her mouth again. you let out a low groan in response, unable to form wordsâall you can focus on is sana, her mouth and fingers bringing you closer to your peak with every thrust, every lick, every movement.
she lets you cum two more times that night before sheâs undoing your restraints, her own juices sticky on your thigh, then using a damp towel to clean you, offering you water and sweet kisses as she checks in on you.
âas always, you were so good for me tonight,â sana praises you with a bright grin as you sip at your water, your eyes half closed. her fingers trail lightly over the hickeys sheâd marked along your thighs, breasts, chest. so maybe thatâs another thing youâve learned about sanaâshe has somewhat of a possessive streak. âso perfect.â
hours later, as sana sleeps next to you, you watch her chest rising and falling evenly, peacefully, before you collect your things and glance at her one last time, slipping out of her apartment with your stomach filled with butterflies.
itâs going on three months since youâd first slept with sanaâand something shifts.
she starts messaging you things that both makes your heart flutter and your stomach flipâthings like this is so us underneath a video of two dogs cuddlingâa picture of her having a small picnic by the river followed by the words wish you were here.
half the time she doesnât even add pictures or videos to her messages anymoreâi miss you baby, she sends. or just good morning! with some variant of heart emojis. sometimes you get something a little more lengthyâwatching the drama you mentioned the other day. have you seen the latest episode? maybe we can watch it together!
you think this means youâre probably actually friends now. the thought makes you grin.
eventually, sana begins leaving little gifts at your desk: your favorite iced coffee, packets of gummies, even a delicateâand expensiveânecklace.
you hide the necklace underneath your shirt when mina pulls you aside to gently remind you about the company policy for disclosing personal relationships between employees. you insist you have nothing to say and look away with red cheeks when minaâs eyes drift towards sanaâs desk.
it burns against your chest when you wear it, but you canât bring yourself to take it off, either.
a month passes by, sanaâs present never leaving your neck. you meet chaeyoung for coffee one morning over the weekend.
âiâve been meaning to tell you, but i like your necklace,â she remarks, her thin fingers gesturing towards said piece of jewelry. âitâs really pretty. whereâd you get it?â
you fight off a blush. âthanks. uh, someone gave it to me as a gift.â
âsomeone?â chaeyoung looks at you and notices the pink dusting your cheeks, her eyebrows shooting up. âhold on. you mean like a special someone?â she looks at your necklace then at you again, curious.
âwellâŚâ you look away awkwardly for a moment. âi don't know.â
âyou've worn it every day for a few weeks now,â she points out. âmust be someone at least a little special for you to wear that so often, yeah?â
a small frown starts to form on your lips. âmaybe i just really like the necklace.â
chaeyoung hums. âmaybe. it does look like something youâd pick out yourself.â she glances appreciatively at it once more before a mischievous grin tugs at her mouth. âbut i know you. you like the necklace, sure, but you like the fact that it came fromââshe pauses like sheâs about to say a nameââthis person more.â
and, well. she might have a point.
youâve learned a few more things about sana over the past few monthsâlike that she tries really hard to do things for you before you even consider asking for them, says things that make you melt and smile softly, giggles at even your worst jokes and talks to you when youâre lonely or upset. itâs all very sweet. sana is sweet. truthfully, you do like knowing she spent time picking out a necklace she thought you might like. the mental image of sana browsing through multiple shops with a cute little pout on her face until she finds the perfect gift for you makes you want to grin like an idiot.
you like sana. a lot, you realize.
but youâre not sure where she stands, because youâve seen her gift mina and momo things before too. maybe it doesnât mean anything special to her. thatâs something you havenât learned about her. so you simply scoff and shove chaeyoung in the shoulder, hiding your scowl in your cup of coffee, ignoring the way your heartbeat quickens at the thought of sana, sana, sana.
sanaâs wearing that same cute little prada skirt today, the one she wore the day youâd first slept together. thereâs one more thing youâd learned about sana: the woman loves her prada. you watch her walk in, greeting everybody with a charming smile and enthusiastic wave.
sana has really nice legsânot that you needed a reminder.
for a few moments, you let yourself stare at her and think about her smooth skin, her breathy whines, her long legs spread open just for you, her soft thighs quivering as you lower your mouthâ
âhave you already started on that presentation for new concepts for the upcoming quarter?â
dahyunâs voice breaks you from your reverie. you manage to drag your eyes away from sana and look up at dahyun. she seems tired, looking at her computer with her brows furrowed as she taps at her keyboard. you blink.
âuhâno, not yet. i was going to start on it later, though.â
she nods, still staring intently at her screen. âwork on it with sana,â she requests. you open your mouth to respond, but she speaks again before you can say anything. âitâll be better to have both of you coming up with ideas. i know you havenât really worked with her before, but sheâs not a bad worker, really. she usually has quite a few good ideas if you can get her to focus for long enough. but right now she needs something to do, and i canât get her to work for more than ten minutes. maybe youâll have better luck getting somewhere with sana.â she exhales loudly then and finally glances at you with pleading eyes, looking worn out despite the day just starting.
you sigh. âokay. iâll see if thereâs a conference room available to book today and grab sana.â
two hours later, you drag sana into one of the smaller conference rooms in the hallway next to your desks so you can speak a little louder with her, hoping to brainstorm together.
youâre wildly unsuccessful, of course.
sana spends the first thirty minutes of your two reserved hours playing papa's freezeria on her laptop while you try to work on your own. eventually, you canât take it anymore. you look up from your laptop and clear your throat. sana glances at you.
âwhat are you doing?â
sana angles her laptop towards you a little so you can clearly see her sundae platter on the screen. itâs overflowing with toppings. her customer frowns, gives her zero stars and no tip. sana whines and turns the laptop back towards her, pouting a little before shooting a bright grin at you. âmina showed me this game,â she chirps. âhave you played it before? itâs actually pretty fun.â she clicks a few more times, taking a new customerâs order. immediately, she begins creating another ice cream monstrosity. you just blink at her.
âseriously, do you ever do anything productive around here?â you try to sound serious, but you can hear the fondness in your voice, a small smile forming on your face.
ânope,â sana responds cheerily, looking up from her game. âwell, i talk to momo. that seems pretty productive to me.â
you roll your eyes good-naturedly at her serious expression. âsana, thatâs not productive. thatâs distracting.â you tap her lightly on the wrist. âcome on, we need to finish this.â you get up from your chair and make your way to the whiteboard on the wall, getting ready to note the major ideas youâd already thought of on your own.
she smiles brightly at you and closes out of her game. âokay, whatever you need.â
twenty more minutes go by, and youâre actually starting to get somewhere. just as dahyun had mentioned, sanaâs a good worker when she puts her mind to it, creative and thoughtful. that was something pleasant to learn about her. sheâd even gotten up to write a few notes of her own on the board. youâre in the middle of jotting down a few more details on the whiteboard when sana sets a hand on your shoulder, leans in a little closer next to you to peer at your handwriting and you can smell her perfume. you inhale a little, squeeze your eyes shut, try to retain your focus. it doesn't work.
âyou smell good.â you donât even really register your voice relaying the words to sana until you open your eyes and find that sheâs looking at you, honey dripping from her eyes. instantly, you blush.
âcute,â sana whispers, gaze dropping to your mouth. she leans in then, brings your lips together in a slow kiss. you drop the whiteboard marker and your hands instantly fall to her waist while she curls one hand around your jaw, the other playing with your necklace and resting lightly against your chest.
kissing sana is familiar, easy, but itâs the first time youâre kissing her like this: in public, outside of the comfort of her apartment, where, theoretically, anyone could see you. the thought makes your heart race rapidly. maybe you should be more concerned about the fact that youâre kissing sana not even ten feet away from your coworkers, barely concealed by the translucent door of the conference room, but the swipe of her tongue against your lips pushes every thought out of your head. you grip her waist tighter, trying to fight back a whine and failing.Â
she makes a sweet sound against your lips in return. âsana,â you say hoarsely, pulling back just enough to take a breath, resting your forehead against hers. she just hums. âweâwe need to finish this.â
âokay,â she replies easily, drawing back and giving you an innocent smile. your eyes drop to her lips. she smirks.
âokay,â you repeat, unable to look away from her mouth. she bites her lip. you stare.
âi thought you said we need to finish this?â she cocks her head, blinks at you. but sheâs leaning in again, her breath fanning against your lips.
âuh huh,â you say dumbly. âyeah. we should⌠finish thisâŚâ you close the gap, kiss her deeply, let out a quiet gasp when she sticks a hand up your shirt and rests it against your stomach, stroking your skin. your back hits the wall, and itâs only then that you realize sana had been gently pushing you backwards. âsanaâŚâ
sana presses you into the wall, licks into your mouth. your thoughts become hazy as she kisses you languidly. the hand she has under your shirt brushes against your bra and you shiver. her other hand rests on your waist, warm and firm. you whimper into her mouth and she pulls away, giggling. âyouâre too cute,â she whispers against your lips. she drops her hand from your bra so sheâs grabbing at both sides of your waist, then pushes you against the wall once more as she leans in to kiss you again. all too soon, she pulls away again, shooting you a playful smile as she sits back down in front of her laptop. you stare at her, breath catching in your throat. âback to work!â she says with a teasing wink.
you ignore her triumphant grin when you impatiently drag her out of her chair and lay her on top of the conference table, not caring that anyone could walk in on you at any moment.
the soft adoring look sana gives you when you help her pull her skirt back on is worth the embarrassment you feel when dahyun winks at you later and tells you she knew youâd get somewhere with sana.
youâre at the office one morning, on your way to the bathroom, when you overhear it.
âyouâre so good at this,â a muffled voice groans out behind the corner of the hallway.
âmmm.â another voice. this one is familiar to youâextremely so. âdoes it feel good?â
itâs sana.
âyes, feels so good,â the other voice whimpers. they gasp and moan. you hear sana giggle.
you briskly turn back around.
well.
it seems like you arenât sanaâs only plaything.
(thatâs something you didnât really want to learn about sana.)
six months.
half a year since the first time youâd let sanaâs hands roam all over your body, let her bring you to the edge again and again and again.
you finally stop sneaking out of her apartment, instead starting your days with her arm thrown over your waist, legs tangled in her overpriced sheets. you also find yourself spending entire weekends at her place. youâd taken to going over to her place every friday night and staying until sunday. sometimes you even spend most of the week there, making sure to go to work in separate vehicles. itâs a little more domestic than youâd imagined things would be when this had all started, but you like itâmaybe a little more than you should.
itâs dangerous for your heart.
as it turns out, sanaâs an awful chef; on one occasion, she starts a small fire in her kitchen attempting to make your favorite breakfast. to ensure you donât starve, you put yourself in charge of all cooking related activities, lightly swatting at her whenever she hovers around you in the kitchen. but you always give in when she slips her arms around you from behind, rests her chin on your shoulder, croons appreciatively in your ear when you feed her small bites here and there.
sheâs annoying.
sheâs lovely.
itâs terrifying, because you know youâre falling for sana. you know her now, and you like everything youâve gotten to know. but what you donât know is how sana feels. you know youâre friends by now. but sana hasnât said anything and, based on what youâd heard that one day at the office, clearly sheâs not exclusive with you, so you begrudgingly admit to yourself that she doesnât think itâs become anything deeper than that. it hurts, and youâre sort of embarrassed. of course youâd fall for someone who only sees you as a friend.
itâs this fact that prompts you to shut down sanaâs request to tell even just one person about your private time together. she insists that momo can keep a secret, but you give her a firm refusal, almost bordering on hostile. you can tell sheâs disappointed, maybe even a little surprised at your aggression, but she quickly presses a kiss to your lips and assures you sheâs still okay with keeping things secret. you think maybe you overreactedâit was just one question, after all.
âiâm sorry, sana,â you murmur as you pull her closer. âi just really don't want to risk everyone being all up in our business, you know?â itâs more like you don't want to give anyone a reason to analyze your unrequited feelings for sana, but what sana doesnât know wonât hurt her.
âi understand,â she mumbles into your ear. âi suppose the girls are sort of gossipy, huh?â youâre grateful for the olive branch, and you accept it quickly.
âmore than just sort of. iâve learned more about nayeonâs favorite sex positions than iâve ever wanted to know,â you joke with a grimace, and sana giggles and hits your shoulder lightly.
later that night, you try not to pay attention to the churning in your stomach when you think about your gossipy friends dissecting how youâd fallen for the companyâs daughter all while sheâd been making some other girl moan just ten feet away from your desk.
you wouldnât be able to handle the humiliation of everyone knowing youâd been dumb enough to break your own boundaries and fall for your fuck buddy, only for her to not feel the same.
sana shifts in her sleep, cuddles closer into you.
itâs enough for now. it has to be.
the next weekend, you find yourself getting lunch with tzuyu. youâre sipping at your water when your phone lights up with a text.
itâs sana. can we have tteokbokki for dinner tonight? iâve been craving it all day!! iâll even be your sous chef!!!
you grin as you type back a response. sure. but as my sous chef, you should know that if you blow anything up, youâre fired immediatelyâŚ
you go back to eating when tzuyu speaks. âwho are you texting?â
âhuh?â you look up at her. âoh, nobody.â
her eyebrows go up. âyouâre an awful liar, you know.â she shrugs, watching you blush. âbut whatever. keep your secrets. something tells me i might already know the answer anyway.â
you canât tell if the feeling spreading through your veins is nausea or relief.
the following monday, sana sits next to you at lunch, and when her hand brushes against your wrist, your breath catches in your throat. you act like you donât see the smug, pleased look she sends you. she stares at you with a grinâsomething bright sparks in your chest.
you fiddle with your necklace and try not to think about sana, but you find itâs next to impossible when every other thing reminds you of the woman.
you let your pinky rest against her hand for the rest of lunch. a confession. momo has the decency to pretend she doesnât notice.
on tuesday, you walk into the office with a cheerful smile on your face. you log onto your computer, work on a few assignments, collaborate with nayeon and jeongyeon on a presentation for the upcoming quarterly report.
during lunch, you sit with tzuyu and chaeyoung and pretend like you arenât staring at sana across the roomâlike you arenât watching how momoâs leg brushes against sanaâs, pinky fingers innocently laid across each other atop the tableâlike you arenât following how jihyoâs hand reaches across the table to gently fix sanaâs hair, tucking it behind her ear neatlyâlike you arenât wondering what it might be like to really touch sana in public, to interact with her so easily, to love her freely, loudly.
later, when youâre reporting to mina that youâve finished your departmentâs presentation, you try not to stare beyond her shoulder at dahyun and sana giggling together over some sort of inside joke of theirs. you barely manage to push the giddiness down enough to keep your focus on mina, and you falter when sana catches your eye from across the room, her playful grin momentarily turning sultry when she notices your heavy gaze. you pretend it doesnât affect you and give mina a half-hearted apology before you continue to review the contents of your presentation, sana and dahyun disappearing around the corner as mina nods approvingly at your words.
a few hours later, youâre making your way over to a meeting to discuss the upcoming quarterly budget when you hear it again.
âoh sana,â you hear a breathy voice groan out.
sana and⌠whoever else sheâs hooking up with who isnât you. theyâre in one of the conference rooms. you avoid looking at the door.
âis this good? or do you want it harder?â
âthis is perfect.â
sana hums. âthatâs what i like to hear.â
you rush towards your meeting, holding back tears as you speed away.
later that night, as you watch sana wash the dishes after dinner, you feel your heart breaking but you know what you need to do. âhey sana?â
she puts the last dish away and turns to you with a little grin. âyeah? whatâs up?â
âi think maybeâŚâ you look at sana. âmaybe we should⌠stop.â
âstop?â sana starts to frown.
âyou know⌠stop. this.â you gesture between the two of you half-heartedly. âus.â
sana just stares at you, standing stiffly in the middle of the kitchen. her lip wobbles. âbut⌠why?â
you try to keep a neutral expression. âi just think itâs for the best.â
sheâs silent for a long moment. then she looks up at you, eyes hardened. âokay. then i think you should go.â
âoh. uh, okay.â you gather your things as she stares at you harshly. you make your way to the door, then look back at sana. âwait. weâre still okay, right?â
sana just looks at you. she scoffs and turns back around, heading to her room. you try to take a step to follow her, but she puts her hand out. âleave. please.â
so you do.
you text her a few hours later. are we okay?
she doesnât respond.
you do, however, receive a text from momo a few minutes later. it simply reads give her space.
itâs better than nothing.
(you still cry yourself to sleep that night, not knowing that on the other side of the city, momo simply holds sana in her arms as she does the same.)
the rest of the week goes by slowly. itâs awful. youâre not sleeping, not eating, not functioning.
during your lunch break on friday, tzuyu stares as you shovel rice into your mouth, unimpressed. you ignore her, but eventually her silence makes you shift uncomfortably. you glance around the room, looking for sana. you find her at a table across the room with jihyo and momo. you stare at her as subtly as you can.
by the brokenhearted expression on sanaâs face and the uncomfortable frown jihyo gives youânot to mention the way momo is openly making eye contact with youâyouâre sure it wasnât subtle at all.
you look away and catch tzuyuâs eye. âwhat?â
she blinks at you, shrugging almost imperceptibly. âis there something going on with you?â
you freeze before scooping up another bite of rice. âno.â you try to sound unaffected. âwhy?â
tzuyu hums. âno reason. itâs just that both you and sana have seemed a little⌠strange the past few days. i thought something might have happened between you two.â
âand why would you think anythingâs happening between sana and me?â it comes out a little less convincing than youâd intended. tzuyuâs brows furrow slightly and she leans back into her seat.
âwell⌠youâreâŚâ tzuyu pauses, clears her throat as she eyes you carefully. âyouâre⌠friends, right?â you donât answer and tzuyu stares at you again. âcome on. iâm not blind. you clearly have something going on with her. why wonât you tell me?â
thereâs a flash of movement in front of you and momo suddenly plops down into the seat next to tzuyu. âwhat are you two talking about?â she takes out her food, immediately biting into her lunch.
ânothing,â you grumble.
âweâre talking about how someone here is in love with sana and is really awful at pretending like sheâs not.â
âtzuyu!â you glare at her, then look down at your food, shy. âthatâs not exactly what we were talking about.â
in between bites of her sandwich, momo hums. âoh, right.â momoâs next words make you frown. âi heard you guys broke up.â the expression on her face is anything but innocent. you glance over to where sheâd been sitting before with sana. sana and jihyo are pointedly not looking in your direction. you look back at momo, whoâs trying a little too hard to act nonchalant.
âare you spying on me for sana? also, we werenât dating. i donâtâwhat did sana tell you?â
âuh, itâs not spying if iâm speaking to you in front of your face. but i did maybe tell sana iâd come over here and see what you were talking about. also, she didnât have to tell me anything.â momo snickers, takes another bite. you stare at her as she chews. âyou guys arenât that great at hiding when youâre hooking up in the conference rooms. plus, i know the code to her place. you really shouldnât leave your panties on the couch so often.â she grins crookedly. you squeak in embarrassment.
tzuyu grimaces. âdidnât need that mental image, thanks.â
momo finally realizes something. âhold on. you werenât dating?â momoâs next words make you frown. âwait, but you know she thought this whole time that you were dating, though, right?â
you shake your head. âno, that canât be right. the other week i heard her and someone else hooking up in the hallway. she was doing something right, because they just kept moaning and telling her it felt good. and i heard them again on tuesday in one of the conference rooms. sana was asking them if they wanted it harder, andâŚâ you trail off.
tzuyu tilts her head. âuh, actually.â you look at her and she coughs a little. âi donât think she was hooking up with anyone.â
âwhat do you mean?â you frown.
âone of the A&R interns just had surgery on their shoulder. sanaâs been giving her massages to help with the pain every now and then.â
your heart stops. what?
momo nods. âoh yeah. sanaâs pretty good at giving massages. did you seriously think she was hooking up with someone else? arenât you, like, practically living at her place?â
you groan, drop your head to the table. guilt washes over you and you swallow roughly. âoh my god. i really fucked up. what should i do?â your voice comes out a whisper. âi⌠iâm in love with her.â
momo shrugs, shoves the last bite of her sandwich into her mouth. she chews thoughtfully, swallows down her food, then takes a sip of her lemonade. âi know i told you to give her space, but as her best friend, i know for a fact that she misses you. i have a feeling that if you went to her place and explained why you did what you did, sheâd probably be willing to hear you out.â
you exhale. âreally? you donât think sheâd be mad if i just showed up?â
ânah. well, the other day she did mention wanting to stab you with a steak knife.â
âmomo!â
she bursts out laughing. âiâm just kidding. sheâll want to have a mature conversation. she just needed time to think about things. iâm sure she wonât stab you and sheâll hear you out.â
âyouâre not very helpful,â you grumble. momo grins at you.
âoh, one more thing. if you ever hurt sana again, she wonât need a steak knife, because i will kill you myself. youâd make an excellent stew, i think.â
âmomo!â
you decide to follow momoâs advice, despite the slight worry of sana pulling a knife on you, and find yourself outside sanaâs apartment on saturday morning.
deep breaths, you think. sana is a reasonable person. she wonât stab you. sheâll talk to you.
you ring the bell.
a few moments pass.
âwhat are you doing here?â sanaâs voice comes through the speaker. you glance at the doorbell camera.
âi wanted to talk,â you say slowly, âand apologize. and clear some things up. if youâll let me.â
silence.
then sanaâs buzzing you in, and you nearly shed a tear at the sight of sana opening her door for you, wearing one of your worn-out t-shirts and her too-short sleep shorts.
âokay.â she sighs. âcome in.â
you give her a soft smile and step inside. she closes the door behind you and turns to face you.
âhi,â you say dumbly, playing with your fingers nervously.
sana cracks a small grin. âhi,â she replies. âwant some coffee?â
you canât help but brighten and smile wider at her. âiâd love some, thanks.â
sana walks towards the kitchen and you follow her. you stand behind her as she pours coffee into your favorite mug. her fingers brush against yours when she hands it to you and you inhale sharply. you look at her and her cheeks redden slightly. âletâs sit down, yeah?â you nod at her words and make your way to her living room, sitting gently on her couch and sipping at your coffee before setting it on the small table in front of you.
âthank you,â you begin, âfor letting me in and for hearing me out. i know you could tell me to go away and iâd have no right to complain. so thank you again. but i really want to make things right between us and explain myself.â
sana nods. âokay.â
âi guess i should start with saying iâm sorry. i really didnât mean to hurt you. to be honest, i didnât think me ending things would even matter to you.â
âoh.â sana frowns. âwhy wouldnât it?â
âiâŚâ you sigh. âi honestly thought you didnât see me as anything more than a friend. like, a fuck buddy. but i was okay with that because i thought maybe⌠if we spent more time together⌠anyway. yeah. but then a couple months ago, i heard what i thought was you and someone else hooking up at work. and that hurt so muchâto think i wasnât the only one getting to spend that kind of time with you, you know? and then i heard the same thing again a few days ago on tuesday, and that was just. you know. all i could take. so⌠i thought it would be better for my heart to make a clean break.â
sanaâs quiet. then she looks at you in confusion and says, âokay, sorry, butâwhat? i havenât been hooking up with anyone else since, you know, our first time.â
you blush. âi know. or, well, momo and tzuyu told me literally just yesterday that iâd grossly misheard things. they told me you were just giving an intern a massage for their shoulder surgery recovery. but yeah. iâd already ended things with you when i found out that i was mistaken. so. here i am.â
âiâŚâ sana blinks. âokay. so⌠you ended things with me because you donât want me to hook up with anybody else. well, iâm not. so⌠is that all?â
âactually, thereâs something else i need to tell you.â
sana slowly nods, her eyes shining with something you recognize as hope. you take a deep breath.
âi like youâi love you. i'm so in love with you, sana, and i've been falling for you for months and i justâyou're all i think about. when i'm with you, i'm the happiest i've ever been, and when i'm not with you, i'm just thinking about the next time i can be with you. it's like⌠itâs like my life is just measured in moments of with sana and waiting to be with sana. and iâm terrified. because iâi thought you were hooking up with someone else, that you didnât like me the way i like you. or, well. the way i love you.â
sana lets out a breath, leans forward into your space. you blink and before you can register what's happening, sheâs kissing you.
the kiss isâdifferent. it's wet, for one, because someoneâs crying. in the back of your mind, you register it's probably you. but this kiss is also all-consuming, like sanaâs been holding back every time youâd kissed before this, like this is the first time sheâs really kissing you the way sheâs always wanted. this kiss is full of love, you realize. sana pulls back slightly and you subconsciously chase her lips, blushing and looking down when she lets out a laugh. she gently leans back in and rests her forehead against yours.
âyouâre an idiot,â sana breathes out against your lips. you can feel her smile.
âi am?â you pull back to look at her. she just smiles at you and brings you in for another kiss before sighing.
âyouâre so stupid,â sana murmurs, pressing a small kiss against your lips once more. âiâŚâ she trails off.
âyouâŚ?â itâs hard to form words with her lips gently brushing against your own. she pulls back again and takes a deep breath.
âiâve been in love with you,â she says quietly, âever since you agreed to come over to my place for the first time.â
âwow, okay, i am an idiot,â you whisper. sana just nods, lips twitching playfully into a smirk.
âitâs okay though.â she sighs, leans back in to give you another soft kiss. âbecause i love you, and you love me.â
when you walk into the office on monday morning, itâs with sanaâs hand in your own and matching smiles on your faces. you can see all of your friends gawking at the sight.
mina spots you as you round the corner and purses her lips slightly when her eyes land on your fingers tangled with sanaâs. âgood morning, you two. anything youâd like to tell me?â she fights back a smile at your bashful expression.
sana wrinkles her nose. âmina, iâm pretty sure you sort of work for me. do i really need to tell you that my girlfriendâs your employee?â
minaâs grin only widens when seven voices start yelling excitedly from around the office.
you roll your eyes as sana giggles. your friends are stupid.
youâve never been happier.
sometimes, when you have sex with sana, itâs a sanctuary. long-awaited touches and whispered praises. tonight is one of those nightsâyouâre so beautiful, she says, so you kiss her neck. i missed you, she says, so you lay her down on the bed. youâre settled between her legs, one hand in her own warm grasp while your other hand caresses her skin where youâre pushing her leg up. you kiss along her thighs before you press a kiss against her wetness and hum as she shivers lightly. you squeeze her hand then lick against her slit once, slightly tangy slick coating your tongue instantly. she lets out a breathy moan as you lick again, tongue brushing against her clit. youâve learned that sana likes it like this, too: when she surrenders to you, lays herself bare for you to adore, attentive and loving and intimate.
you wrap your lips around her bud and suck. she clenches your hand so hard it turns white. you dip your tongue between her folds, lick and suck and lose yourself in her heat.
âfuck,â sana sighs. âjust like that, baby. youâre so perfect.â distractedly, you think about how sexy she truly is. skin slightly sweaty, girlish moans and whines slipping past her lips every few moments, body heaving with uncontrolled gasps and breaths every time your tongue swirls around her sensitive clit. you moan into her cunt and feel how she squirms and shivers.
you push her leg up more, hook it around your shoulder to make her more comfortable. as you dip your tongue inside her, you feel her use one hand to reach down and grasp at your hair. she tugs a little and you smirk, knowing sheâs enjoying herself.
her slick is all over your mouth and chin. itâs intoxicating, being surrounded by sanaâs presence, being covered in it. you pull your mouth away momentarily and use your hand not currently being squeezed by sanaâs to lightly drag down along her skin before running it between her folds, teasing her. âshit, sana, you taste so good.â then you kiss her clit, ease two fingers into her, marvel at how easily they slip into her wetness. âoh baby,â you simper. âyou mustâve wanted this so badly, hm?â
you bring your mouth back to her pussy, savoring her taste. sana lets out a strangled noise as you find the right angle inside her, curl your fingers slightly, lick against her mound. you bring her clit into your mouth again and suck the way you know she likes. you keep fucking her with your fingers as you eat her out enthusiastically, never wanting to stop.
after a while, sana starts twitching around you. her breathing gets even heavier as she gasps and grinds down onto your tongue. she opens her mouth to say something, but instead she releases a long, drawn-out groan. pleased, you suck a little harder at her clit knowingly, wait for her to speak.
âiâm gonnaâfuck,â she gasps. âfuck, youâre gonna make me cum, baby.â her voice is deeper than usual, thick with desire. it sends a thrill down your spine. you hum, donât stop what youâre doing, finger her a little deeper and keep licking at her.
a few moments later, sanaâs letting out a cry and cumming hard on your fingers and tongue. you continue to pump your fingers in and out, slowing down a little, swallowing her juices and lapping at her clit until sheâs gently laying a hand on your collarbone. you pull away and take your fingers out and stare up at her, pupils completely blown.
sheâs no differentâher eyes are unfocused, totally black. she pants and bites her lip as she watches you take the fingers that were inside her into your mouth and suck her release off them. you grin at her. âi love the way you taste,â you say casually. âand i love making you cum. you look so pretty when you do, you know?
sana blushes all the way down to her chest. âyeah?â
âwell, actually, i don't know,â you say, tapping at your chin. âi might need to see it again, just to make sure.â
she squeals and giggles when you kiss her, sighs adoringly when you bring a hand down between her legs again.
you spend hours after that watching her body and expressions when she cumsâon your tongue, your fingers, your thigh, your stomachâand each time, she looks impossibly prettier than the last.
after you both become too exhausted to keep going, you clean up, get ready for bed together, showering and going through your nightly routine. itâs soothing, and you finally flop into her bed and start to drift off. sanaâs still in the bathroom. everything starts to fade as you begin to succumb to your fatigue.
you donât even register sana coming to bed, pulling the sheets over the both of you, turning off the lights. time passes; youâre not sure how much, but it must be a while, because you keep drifting and waking slightly, on the very edge of finally letting yourself fall asleep. sana seems to be in the same boat. her body has relaxed to the point that you know sheâs about to pass out in the next ten seconds. youâre barely conscious, nearly fully asleep, also seconds from slipping into a deep slumber whenâ
âgood night, baby. i love you,â sana whispers into your neck, so low you almost donât hear herâbut you do.
sana settles her arm around your torso, pulls you impossibly closer to her body before all her muscles slump and she enters a deep sleep.
your eyes start to close as her words replay softly in the back of your head.
i love you.
sanaâs gentle murmur, soft lips pressing the syllables into your flesh. i love you.
when you finally fall asleep, you dream of warm skin and sweet lips, of lithe hands and wide eyes, of sana and love.
i love you, i love you, i love you.
of all the things you know about sana, this is your favorite.
#kpop x reader#kpop imagines#twice x reader#twice imagines#twice sana x reader#twice sana imagines#sana x reader#sana imagines#girl group imagines#twice smut
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How do people just watch something and take in information
#Iâm over here rewatching/reading that same fucking scene over and over until I can prove to myself how itâs significant in any way#i hate this#why cant I just ufh#understand things#Iâve actually recently discovered itâs easier to read!#because you can go back and reread more easier#shows can go fast sometimes so reading can be easier cuz you can go at your own pace#dam why cant I be normal#i should probably talk to my therapist more about this
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Random Ultraman Rising Moments I Loved
Decided to rewatch Ultraman Rising & I enjoyed it just as much as I did the first time. Thus, I've decided to compile a list of random moments that made me love the movie & its characters even more.
WARNING: SPOILERS UP AHEAD
(P.S. sorry for the lackluster screenshots ;p)
Ken's Intro
This one simple line already shows the audience Ken's empathy. Despite resenting his Ultraman responsibilities, he doesn't hate kaiju.
Ken's Childhood
This frame is full of adorable details. There's the obvious ones, like Ken wearing Ultraman & baseball merch, showing us that even before his relationship with his dad went sour, he already had a loyal love for the sport. We also see toy cars, a mecha & the BINGO bunny, all of which would be present in his base.
The Interview Intro
We see Ken getting the celebrity treatment & him wearing the celebrity mask. However, even the mask isn't malicious. He addresses the reporter by his name instead of the news station he's representing. When Ami tries to ask more personal questions unrelated to his baseball career, he doesn't get huffy or defensive at her. Instead, he reminds the crowd to remain civil & it isn't until she explicitly asks about his mom that he leaves.
People shouldn't expect rewards for basic decency, but I'm not against acknowledging acts of kindness & respect you don't often see in an environment as cutthroat as a celebrity interview.
Ken's 'Giants'
Imo, there's 2 ways for the term 'Giants' to be interpreted here.
(1) Ken is referring to Ultraman, & by extension his dad. One's a literal giant while the other is metaphorical, esp for kids.
(2) He's referring to the possibility of making friends. As he mentioned to Ami, he knows firsthand how 'kids will always talk', implying that he's been bullied & ostracized as a child, possibly due to his Japanese heritage or some other reason that's nonetheless soured Ken's perception of friendship.
Ken & Ami's 1-on-1s
Ngl, when I saw the trailers, I braced myself for the possibility that Ami would serve as Ken's possible love interest. However, that's not the case, which I'm grateful for. Still, that doesn't take away how interesting Ami is as a character.
Their first interview is set up beautifully. They're sitting face-to-face but there's a table between them. And then there's the way they present themselves.
Ken is dressed casually, practically oozing 'cocky young celebrity without a care in the world'. He's wearing sunglasses indoors, that also cover his eyes. It's a classic character design trope meant to make someone look stern, intimidating, stoic, reserved, closed-off from everyone.
Ami on the other hand is dressed professionally, as she takes her job seriously. But her glasses are transparent & not aesthetical. She has to be fair & objective, yes, but she also values honesty, transparency & empathy. Its these traits that make her a reliable person for Ken to turn to when he was struggling with parenting Emi.
Interview #2. They're sitting next to each other instead of opposite, but there's still a table between them. Still, this time Ken isn't wearing sunglasses & he's more put-together whereas Ami is dressed more casually. Ken has opened up to her & he wants to keep trying; she in turn meets him in the middle.
This culminates into the final interview. Unlike the previous times, it's clearly one that's broadcasted to the public. Despite this, Ken again, isn't wearing sunglasses or putting on an attitude. There's no table between them because this is the climax of Ken's character development: he's learned that it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to show others that you're being vulnerable.
Ken's Comfort
When Ken's reminded of his inadequacy as Ultraman, he turns to the one thing that makes him happy: baseball. But he doesn't ask Mina to pull up videos of the crowd cheering or him winning; instead, he watches recordings of his mom, of the happy memories he shared with her. Yes, Ken has an ego. But underneath it all, he genuinely loves baseball because that sport is deeply tied to the love he has for his mom.
Not Gossip Hour
.....am I the only one who couldn't help but cheer Ami on when she called this guy out?
Prof. Sato's Cheer
Nobody, esp parents, should force their children to become someone they don't want to be. It's even more heartbreaking when both parties have little choice in the matter because of how necessary the duty is. Parents are flawed people, but I wouldn't call Prof. Sato a bad one.
Yes, he wants Ken to do better as Ultraman too. But he knows how much his son loves baseball & does support his achievements in them.
Mother's Corpse
Sometimes, a brief glance can convey a thousand words. In this brief glance, Ken doesn't see a defeated kaiju, he sees the corpse of a mother & he'll be damned if he lets the KDF add a baby's corpse to accompany her.
Mina is Awesome
A good plot is always appreciated but good characters are always loved & Mina isn't an exception. Let's hear it for the orb robots that always act as a voice of reason!!
But srsly, I love Mina. I love her wit, how her voice has that robotic yet motherly lilt, how she cares for Ken's wellbeing but isn't afraid to put her foot down to push him in the right direction.
In her final moments, she doesn't say 'you must/have to save her', she knows she doesn't have to. Instead, she tells him 'you can save her'. Sometimes, people are so focused on making sure others know what they have to do that they neglect to let them know that they believe they can accomplish it.
Onda's Humanity
Which brings me to another character I loved: the antagonist himself. Loved how they made him nuanced & sympathetic. Yes, he's ruthless, pragmatic & the 'end justifies the means' sort of person. However, unlike most military bad guy leaders, he cares for those under his command.
His screentime with Captain Aoshima is brief, but I enjoyed all of it. He doesn't berate Aoshima when he fails to capture Emi, nor does he lash out at him when he wavers in their mission. Instead, he encourages & empathizes with him.
Lots of fans speculate that Aoshima will have a more major role in a future sequel & I rlly hope that when the time comes, he'll be just as complex & engaging to watch as his predecessor had been.
"I Don't Know What To Do"
Kids are usually the target audience for Ultraman, but you cannot tell me this moment didn't hit home for parents. That moment where your child gets hurt because you looked away for a second; the first time your child falls ill & you wonder if a common cold will kill them before old age.
Whether you're a parent, older sibling or someone working in medical/childcare, having to say those 6 words will be the most devastating moment of your life. I'm certain that for Ken, it was nothing less.
Final Boss
Let it not be said that Ken doesn't know his final battle clichĂŠs.
#ultraman#ultraman rising#ultraman meta#everyday i see more and more ultraman rising content & smile#here's to hoping this amazing movie gets an equally amazing sequel!#ken sato#emi#ami watake
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iâm sure someone talked about this when jatp first came out but i just rewatched it in years. (not because i forgot about it, not because i didnât like it, but because it hurt so much to know this show wasnât getting renewed and i had to avoid it in order to protect myself)
something i just love about the show is how they never bash on any other types of music. and each character has more than one genre of music to like.
yes, Sunset Curve was a rock band and Julie and the Phantoms are more rock indie/alternative rock band.
but that doesnât stop Reggie from liking country music, âI shred on the banjo,â and Jeremy Shada later on actually writing and performing âHome Is Where My Horse Isâ (which I recommend heavily).
that doesnât stop Alex from getting into Dirty Candiâs bubblegum pop music and dancing alongside Carrie on stage, (and how hard it must be for Carrie, whoâs father is a rock musician, and how his fans must hate that his daughter is a fem bubblegum pop musician)
that doesnât stop Luke from absolutely going insane over Calebâs first performance, âThe Other Side of Hollywoodâ with itâs 20âs era vibe and Broadway level intensity. (he was also into more classic rock as shown when he tried playing a song that Bobby/Trevor stole for Julie) (and lets not forget that he can also make the most emotional ballad of alternative rock)
and that doesnât stop Julie from alternating between piano, rock music, pop verses, love ballads, and indie rock. and she and Flynn never once talk badly about Carrieâs music genre.
everyone can have more than one type of music theyâre interested in or just show appreciation for instead of bashing it or disregarding it and i love that this show did this.
#Flynn just didnât like that Carrie was using her dadâs money for costumes and big choreography lessons#but she never criticized her for her bubblegum pop music#im pretty sure julie was also slightly piano classically trained#also#i think i could be making it up in my head but i still like it for her#also her brother is into rap; another music genre added there#show me who wrote this first; i would like to reblog and thank them for their controbution years earlier#bc im convinced im not the first one to notice this#julie and the phantoms#julie molina#luke patterson#alex mercer#reggie peters#sunset curve#carrie wilson#jatp
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What Colin Calls Penelope In Bridgerton
Between Part 1 and 2 of season 3, I made a post about wanting to see the numbers on what Colin calls Penelope throughout the show because I thought there was a significant increase in the use of "Penelope" over "Pen" as their relationship matured.
Well, I did a very quick rewatch of seasons 1 and 2 (basically fast-forwarding to the parts I knew Colin and Pen would either interact or Colin would mention Penelope) and a rewatch of season 3. AND I HAVE THE NUMBERS!
So here's a breakdown on what Colin calls Penelope through all three seasons of Bridgerton. I'll give the total as well as if it was said directly to Penelope or to other people.
(If someone wants to make a chart or something with all of this data, I would not hate that)
Pen
Season 1- 8 (directly)
Season 2- 10 (directly)
Season 3- 23 (directly); 1 (indirectly); 1 (unclear. He said it to Dream Penelope); 25 total.
Total number of times Colin has called Penelope "Pen"- 43
The rest is below the cut because this post got long!!
Miss Featherington
Season 1- 1 (indirectly)
Season 2- none
Season 3- 1 (directly); 2 (indirectly); 3 total
Total number of times Colin has called Penlope "Miss Featherington"- 4
Penelope
Season 1- 1 (directly)
Season 2- 1 (directly); 1 (indirectly); 1 (unclear. He was talking to Penelope but quoting himself--"I said to myself, 'If Penelope can see me this way...'"); 3 total
Season 3- 5 (directly); 22 (indirectly); 27 total
Total number of times Colin has called Penelope "Penelope"- 31
Miss Penelope
Season 2- 1 (indirectly)
Total number of times Colin has called Penelope "Miss Penelope"- 1
Penelope Featherington
Season 1- none
Season 2- 2 (indirectly)
Season 3- 3 (directly)
Total number of times Colin has called Penelope "Penelope Featherington"- 5
Auntie Penelope
Season 3- 1 (indirectly)
Total number of time Colin has called Penelope "Auntie Penelope"- 1
If I lumped "Miss Penelope," "Penelope Featherington," and "Auntie Penelope," into the same group with "Penelope," then Colin has called her Penelope a total of 38 times throughout the series. Which means "Pen" is still the winner.
And if any of you were curious, he called her "my bride-to-be" 1 time (directly), his "future wife" 2 times (directly and indirectly), "my wife" 2 times (both indirectly), and of course, as we all know, he called her "Mrs. Bridgerton" 1 time in the final episode.
#bridgerton#bridgerton s3#bridgerton s2#bridgerton s1#colin bridgerton#penelope bridgerton#penelope featherington#polin#colin âmy wifeâ bridgerton#penelope âi prefer mrsâ bridgerton#8 of those âpenelopesâ were in one coversation btw#the man is down bad#why does the order of this list seem weird? i hear you ask#he called her pen first#then miss featherington#then penelope#basically if he called her something new it went next on the list
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stress reliever / spencer reid x fem!reader
synopsis: your fellow profiler at the bau is stressed over a case. shoulders tight and room empty, you decide to relieve some of his tension.
warnings/tags: stressed spencer, grinding, blowjob, fem!reader.
word count: 1.1k.
a/n: tell me why this is literally the first thing i've written in a nearly year?! i've been so busy but i've missed this. rewatching criminal minds for the third time so thought i should treat myself to a lil spence smut.
︾âżď¸ľâżŕ¨âĄŕ§âżď¸ľâżď¸ľ
"I just don't understand what I'm missing." Spencer announces, clutching his hair in his fists as he slumps down on a chair.
"Neither do any of us. This UnSub loves puzzles, clearly he's really good at them, too." I reassure. SSA Spencer Reid hates when he cannot figure something out. Not because he has a weak ego, but because he really should know.
"God, my head is killing me." He says, rubbing his temples gently with his thumb and forefinger.
"Probably because we've been up for over 24 hours. Hotch and the rest won't be back for at least another hour, a nap couldn't hurt." I suggest, tucking my knees up to my chest in my chair, preparing to drift off in under a minute.
"No. No, I have to figure out some of this, even just a little bit. We can't let this son-of-a-bitch roam free for another second." He picks himself up and looks at the board again, eyes squinting at the words until they're unintelligible.
I show up behind him, taking a look at the board for the fiftieth time that day to see if a few minutes away from it had altered my ability to solve the puzzles. It hadn't. I rest my hands on Spencer's shoulders, and he jolts at my touch. His muscles are tensed and knotted.
"Jesus, Spence. You need to lie down. We know better than anyone that stress does not make our jobs any easier." I urge, slowly massaging his shoulders in an empathetic way. Spencer shakes his head, turning to face me.
"Sleep will not relieve this stress." He replies, gaze fixed. He sighs deeply, looking down at me as if he's waiting for me to provide a solution I definitely don't have. If anyone has the mental equipment to solve this case, it's Spencer Reid.
I guide him over to a chair, sitting beside him. I take a swig of my cold tea and rest my head on my knees. He stares at me with those big brown eyes that are usually full of life - well, in Spencer's kind of way - that are now deadened and hollow. I rest my hand on his and he squeezes mine back with a smile.
This is the first time I'm seeing him smile in days. I look eagerly at his lips, not hesitating to reach out and kiss him. He, of course, kisses back, gripping the side of my face tightly.
There's always been a mutual attraction between the two of us, but neither have ever even thought of acting on it. Derek loves to call us Romeo and Juliet. I laugh; Spencer doesn't get the joke.
I pull his hair through my hands, tugging gently at his roots as our kiss intensifies. I'm so glad he cut that mane, swapping it out for something much better.
I feel myself drifting off to a blissful state when Spencer pulls away abruptly, leaving my lips alone. He grimaces at me, clearly fighting some internal demons I can't see. I know he's not the romantic type, so I'm not sure why I thought it would be a good idea. We don't exchange any words for a few seconds until he gives in and reaches into me. I refuse his kiss.
"Do you really want this, Spence?" I ask, to his contemplation. He thinks for a minute, breath heavily paced. I look down at the bulge in his pants, pulsating through the fabric.
"Well, it sure looks like it." I joke with a harmless laugh. Spencer sighs at me, covering himself with both of his hands. I take his wrist and remove it, lightly stroking him with my palm, much to his pleasure. He tips his head back in the chair from my slight touch, grinding his hips into my hand, eager for more.
Feeling brave, I push Spencer's chair out from under the table, making enough room for me to straddle his lap, placing myself on top of his clothed bulge. Spencer doesn't know where to look, his eyes pacing from my eyes, to my lips, to my breasts, and to my waist. I take his hands and place them on my hips for support.
He's hard against my crotch, so hard that I can tell he won't be able to hold on for long. I play on this, beginning to grind myself against him at a painfully slow pace. He moans out, licking his lips that are dry from his breathlessness. I run my fingers through the front of his hair, pushing the strands out of his face while starting to move faster.
Spencer's hands squeeze my hips, pushing me down further onto his length that is desperate for a release. His eyes alternate between open and closed, unsure whether to admire me or savour the sensation.
"Does that feel good?" I pry, peppering kisses on his supple neck. Spencer can barely mumble a mhm as he groans out more and more. I sense his closeness and remove myself, sliding down to under the table.
"What are you doing? Why'd you stop?" Spencer begs, sitting up in his chair. Looking up, I smile at him, making my way towards his zipper.
I unzip his pants and break the waistband of his black boxers, watching in arousal at his cock spring free. His tip is glazed in pre-cum, veins spiralled around his length, begging to be relieved. I'm shocked at his size, to be honest. I had always thought he would fit the stereotypes of geniuses, assumed that he was compensating for something with his intelligent. But clearly, he just hasn't had the opportunity to show anyone what he can do.
Without waiting a second longer, I lick his sensitive tip then take him into my slick mouth, observing his chest heave inhumanly fast as I move up and down his member, making sure to cover every single inch. Spencer rests his hand on the top of head, stroking my hair softly.
"God." He whispers, squeezing his eyes tightly shut and gripping the armrest of his chair. I use my free hand to stroke the delicate skin of his abdomen, sending goosebumps across his entire body. I can feel him pulsating in my mouth, so close to climax that it has to be uncomfortable.
I remove my mouth, now using both hands to jerk him. The wetness makes my hands glide on his cock, welcoming his finish.
Finishing on my blouse, Spencer takes a minute to catch his breath. He swiftly wipes himself with a tissue from the table, tucking his still half-hard length away.
"Feel better?" I ask, walking towards the door to wander to my office change my blouse before the team arrives.
"Much better."
#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds smut#spencer reid smut#matthew gray gubler
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